Cum Town | Premium | 05/18/2020
[00:00:04] Damn dude your hair is coming in good. Oh, right gallery gallery view it is
[00:00:08] I wish I would neither like knew how to do this because I gotta I gotta start streaming and then I gotta
[00:00:14] Right the link there's no way to get the link first and then post it on the patreon
[00:00:19] Hmm that's bullshit, bro, but here we are it is a beautiful May 17th 2020
[00:00:26] That is true 259 259 p.m. Two fifty nine Adam is nowhere to be found t plus four minutes since
[00:00:35] Very gracious start time of literally five minutes before we're going on
[00:00:41] Three shows in a row now that he's that's right that he's fucked this up. That's correct. Yeah, dude
[00:00:47] I love this this art phase that you had are you going to are you gonna start going to the art museums when you get?
[00:00:52] I'm fucking mr. Culture dude you should because honestly, you know what I think about you a lot when I think about the art museums
[00:00:58] Because I think like who would want a $17 hot chocolate
[00:01:02] Dude, I love the whole experience. I know I love the food court. Yeah, I love fuck
[00:01:06] I love looking at shit. I love that shit too. I love it's like doing when I love starting the day with like oh
[00:01:21] Yeah, and then no you're getting chicken cutlet sandwich. That's $14. You know you're getting it on the back end
[00:01:26] The problem is that as an adult like the the gift the gift
[00:01:31] No, don't call me just check your email just do it don't there's no reason to call me
[00:01:36] Just look where the invite always is every single time we
[00:01:44] There's it's such a clear pattern that we are in uh-huh and there's no way you could have missed the email
[00:01:50] There's no reason to miss the now who's calling me. Yeah
[00:01:58] I think we got email it's in your email
[00:02:13] Okay, yeah, here we go. Please join zoom meeting in progress to Adam comma stop us. I have it
[00:02:54] Yeah, dude, I'm fucking I can't wait. I'm gonna start coming right here
[00:02:57] Like I've been dreaming about the bald ponytail face
[00:03:00] But there's so many other beautiful bald hairstyles to get to before that. Yeah the comb over
[00:03:06] It's looks like it's naturally going in the comb over route. Well, I did that I did that actually
[00:03:12] Yeah, but I was saying that it sucks because as a kid, you know
[00:03:16] You hit the gift shop at the end of the museum and that's the best hello
[00:03:23] You know, that's the best part is you know, are you recording locally Adam?
[00:03:33] Yeah, so we're talking about the gift shop. Oh, yeah, but there's nothing in there for adults
[00:03:38] I'm I went to the US Mint in Philadelphia
[00:03:44] lecturing the black girl behind the counter about the history of pennies
[00:03:50] Yeah, respect but anyways, no, dude. Come on as an adult. Yeah, there's nothing specifically for you
[00:03:57] You're not gonna buy like a puzzle pieces that a fucking, you know starry night
[00:04:01] But they're still like you know what I would if I was if I was in the Smith's son
[00:04:07] And you know what I was at I went to the Smithsonian quite recently actually very nice. I think probably
[00:04:14] Yeah, probably the beginning of March something I don't know I was in DC and I did American history
[00:04:21] Okay, museum which used to be my favorite museum real tragedy what they did to that place. I haven't been in a while
[00:04:29] They gave all the good stuff to the black museum
[00:04:33] All the computers and stuff they call computer exhibit they put in black museum
[00:04:37] It's true Obama Obama did that like we're taking the coolest exhibits from all the museums and we're giving them
[00:04:45] They made George Washington black. We're giving them to the black museum
[00:04:48] Yeah, so the all the the Tesla coils are all going to the black museum black guys did it
[00:05:03] Teza, I mean there's a better one there, but I'm not gonna say yeah, this better
[00:05:08] I don't know better. We can argue about whether it's better or not. Yeah, there's one that really sticks out at you sure
[00:05:14] Uh-huh. I'm a more memorable song soft soft a
[00:05:24] It's a perfect name for that joke, but I
[00:05:27] Do you feel like a format a lot more black guys that go by Niko these days? I had the format that was because you live in New York
[00:05:35] Maybe why perhaps well, they're all just kind of that they got some spice to them
[00:05:39] There's that that Puerto Rican kind of Dominican truth. Uh-huh
[00:05:43] That's just Niko is always Niko is such a Greek thing to me. Yeah. Well Niko is an uptown name. That's true. Mm-hmm. That is true
[00:05:53] Niko white, but he spells it any K. Oh, yeah, well, that's just for fun. Yeah, he's just having fun with having a blast
[00:06:03] What's up with you boys? How you feeling today? I feel pretty good. It's been the weather's been nice
[00:06:07] I feel good too brother. My sleep schedule is all fucked up
[00:06:10] I'm going about at like 9 p.m. And waking up at 6 a.m
[00:06:15] Trying to I mean, I'm it's I'm insanely productive now. Yeah, I got three new shirts out
[00:06:20] I got a couple more in the chamber. I'm trying to hit like a release schedule of like
[00:06:25] Every other weekend if I can or you know, whatever
[00:06:28] I just don't want to start putting out stuff that absolutely sucks, but right definitely
[00:06:34] Definitely it's nice to have you know the shirt business going again. Yeah, yeah, yeah come dot town, baby
[00:06:39] Yeah, finally got the kinks worked out. Yeah, there's a lot of kinks. I
[00:06:44] Didn't know there was gonna then be that many kinks. Yeah, things were messed up because of a kink issue
[00:06:54] No, just got ironed out man. Yeah, it's funny how good you are drawing man. Do you have any other secret skills?
[00:07:00] You can't sing. No, I can't sing at all. I wish I could I would trade it all for the ability to sing
[00:07:05] Yeah, dude, I would just be singing all the time on top of the mountain stages
[00:07:10] Animals animals coming out of the forest be like who's that on the cliff?
[00:07:14] Who's that's who's that summoning us with their person? Yeah with their beautiful words on your fucking shoulders
[00:07:21] They're beautiful pipes all the colors of the wind
[00:07:26] That's how they got that's how they got Native American pussy is Native Americans because I mean everybody knows Native Americans
[00:07:31] They don't know how to sing and they don't have any culture
[00:07:34] So when Europeans yeah when Europeans came like
[00:07:53] Hana's was like we don't have rock and roll our conservative elders won't allow us to
[00:07:59] Wow, it's to dance. I would love to just if Pocahontas was like fucking that
[00:08:06] It's about the Europeans bringing rock and roll and the blues to the Native Americans
[00:08:12] Europeans teaching fucking jazz today. Yep, John Lithgow and brown face plays the plays the fucking chief. Yeah
[00:08:22] Yeah, there won't be any won't be any goddamn dancing in this tribe
[00:08:41] Do we have a picture what Pocahontas looks like oh she was she was a big bitch. I imagine
[00:08:47] I think she was she was yeah, I think an attractive woman back then was abroad you gotta turn your mic down and self fucked up again
[00:08:54] Is it yeah, it's not coming out fuck the game the game is all the way down right now. Wow. It's it's like clipping
[00:09:04] You might have to do it in settings within zoom Adam
[00:09:12] My car up audio settings and turn your volume down. I mean it might be fine. It's just what's new penis cat
[00:09:20] We think it's a Cheshire cat, but he's got big ass dick. Yeah, that's cool. What's new pussy?
[00:09:26] And that's why I smile so much about the Cheshire cat, but all you can see is asshole
[00:09:32] He's just in the tree and you see the asshole
[00:09:35] Analysis like what is what is that? The fuck is that thing floated put your finger in
[00:09:41] Look it gives it a chance. It looks like a cat's asshole, but I don't know why the rest of it could be something else
[00:09:51] Fucked up rectum like red, isn't it? Yeah, it looks like yours
[00:09:55] You've never seen my asshole. You never read little ass. It's online everyone seen it
[00:10:00] It leaks am I wrong or is your asshole red? It's always leaking
[00:10:08] From a combination of getting pounded but also because you love a Lestra potato chips
[00:10:12] No, I fappened myself you got what they call in the business a leaky hole
[00:10:18] Yeah, this rips freed good old drips freedland this guy's been drinking nothing but common elastra for the last 10 years
[00:10:26] Was that something the wow chip? Yes, exactly correct. That's correct
[00:10:35] I was pissed because I love those ships a little kid. Did you dude? I was on diet food every oh, hey, every chance
[00:10:42] You don't have to tell me every time. I know I was always waiting for a breakthrough in the science for their life
[00:10:48] It's the game cube and cheeseburger diet
[00:10:54] Dude, we found the waiting for a hacks after hacks. Yeah, I spent there was a big skinny cow ice cream phase in my house
[00:11:00] I'm just a fat 11 year old eating skinny cows, you know, it's funny is because I was like, you know being fat
[00:11:05] I never ate ice cream. It was never that was not the shit that made me fat
[00:11:08] It was like literally just bread. Yeah, just fucking eating an entire loaf of bread
[00:11:14] Because you can't control yourself and you're like, oh, of course I'm not gonna have ice cream
[00:11:20] That would be that would be tipping the scales. Oh, I see no we always had I we were indulging in my house
[00:11:25] I literally didn't need ice cream until I was a fucking adult and I remember crazy. Yeah, no
[00:11:29] I remember I've told this story before I was like, I mean, I would have ice cream as a kid
[00:11:33] But I like when I was like 21 22 people being like, let's go get ice cream. I'm like, what are you insane?
[00:11:40] Yeah, as an activity. Yeah, I mean, it's like but didn't you think about because it's like I did have ice cream up until
[00:11:45] Because I didn't get fat until I was like 10 or 11
[00:11:48] And prior to that it was like yeah ice cream and then after what really did it is like
[00:11:55] You know, my dad just you know, my mom left my dad just going to like Wendy's every single
[00:11:59] Yes, hell yeah, oh the divorce kids diet. Yeah
[00:12:02] I got the I never got that but I got my dad being just a bad father
[00:12:06] We were essentially divorced of divorced family living under the same roof. Which is weird. My dad knows how to cook
[00:12:12] So it was a lie sort of I mean my dad cooks food now, but I guess he just got lazy or something. Yeah, it's laziness. Yeah
[00:12:19] Yeah, my dad. Oh, dude who would hit up?
[00:12:21] Honestly, when I got fattish one of the most fat I ever got
[00:12:25] There's always waves, but I started working at um at I was a telemarketer at a company
[00:12:33] I think I've talked about this called American government mortgage. Yeah, which was not affiliated with the American government
[00:12:42] And the whole the whole business model was to just
[00:12:46] Pretend you're the American government and get people to refinance their homes with you
[00:12:52] Was very diq people. Thank god. I was really but I mean I was horrible to job
[00:12:57] I never got anyone to refinance and I got fired after like four months
[00:13:01] Um, but there was a Wendy's right next to it and I would go right after school and you better believe your boy
[00:13:07] Feast it off that fucking dollar menu at Wendy's dude the junior bacon cheeses. Yeah, did you guys have open campus in high school?
[00:13:15] Uh, no, also remember getting a baked potato from Wendy's and thinking it was healthy. Yeah baked potatoes
[00:13:22] That was another that was another big like this is healthy healthy
[00:13:26] No matter how much butter and sour cream
[00:13:33] Oh fuck damn am I about to shit my pants
[00:13:36] Yeah, I like you just feel bad for yourself do it for the show in retrospective
[00:13:41] You know just being clueless be just being tricked by every commercial
[00:13:46] Absolutely. Yeah, and so desperately wanting to not be fat
[00:13:50] Just not you just want nothing more than to not be a big fat, but knowing how much you also loved eating
[00:13:57] Well loved eating but also like being fat like I thought it was essential to like because I mean like you know
[00:14:03] I mean I am a professional community now
[00:14:05] But my entire life was always like the only thing that mattered to me was being funny
[00:14:09] Right, so I would do nothing but like quote the sim just talk about the simpsons
[00:14:16] Yeah, I did nothing but talk about the simpsons. I would look up jokes online. It's a little kid and tell them in school
[00:14:22] Yeah, no, I mean I would like fucking just kind of I was so me and adam had a lot of overlap in our kind of methods of comedy
[00:14:28] Yeah, oh yeah, I kind of grew out of that I grew out of that in around seventh or eighth grade
[00:14:32] But you're kind of still looking at I used to uh, you're still finding jokes online and this is really
[00:14:43] SNL sketches and then perform them in sixth grade drama class
[00:14:54] You're like can I be the share your terry part from this uh from the spartan sketch? I did uh, I did some of the presidential debates
[00:15:02] I was really into that. Oh, hell yeah, those are big
[00:15:05] I was into those are we talking that was when will ferrell was uh, julbsw bush
[00:15:10] Well will ferrell was w bush remember lockbox
[00:15:13] Remember how much they made fun of al gore for saying the word box
[00:15:16] And then I I played uh al gore because I was a democrat and my friend
[00:15:24] So okay, and then this is to make it matters even worse in eighth grade bush stole the election in 2000 and I cried at school
[00:15:33] And uh, I was pissed but my favorite teacher has it was a redhead with big tits that was a republican so I was like
[00:15:39] Well, if she likes it, yeah, at least you know, maybe something's good here
[00:15:46] Damn, I wonder what she's up to and if she'll give me top now. Yeah, probably it is. She's probably a huge fan. Yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:15:55] She's probably a hoity for you probably
[00:16:01] But yeah, dude we would get preyed upon as fat little children that all they wanted dude
[00:16:05] I had a lot of opposite upbringing now knowing like my now knowing about like diet and nutrition and shit
[00:16:14] And not like eat stuff to taste fucking good
[00:16:20] It's just like not worth it. Yeah, but you wanted to ship you wanted a
[00:16:23] A fucking a type of cheese that made you lose weight. Yeah, but it's like this like fucking like drinking a smoothie
[00:16:29] That's like got a little bit of peanut butter in it and then like fresh blueberries some cinnamon
[00:16:34] Oh, yeah, you know, I mean I'm back in the smoothie game. Yeah, I'm back in the beat
[00:16:38] I'm I'm fucking with your beat beat great fruit thing. Yeah, I mean like, you know, I made it an orange and it's tasty
[00:16:44] You can make a smoothie. It's good. It tastes a million times better than fucking crystal light
[00:16:47] You know, oh, yeah, but it's just sucked down just drinking crystal light all day being like this is disgusting
[00:16:53] But if it'll solve these problems, it will help me if this is the answer
[00:16:58] I was drinking crystal light and playing Madden all day in the summers and being like I'm losing weight
[00:17:07] This is the equivalent me being in the gym
[00:17:08] It's like I work out in the morning and I fucking put in four hours of drinking crystal light and playing Madden
[00:17:14] And that's how I'm gonna fucking share the LBS. Yeah
[00:17:17] Yo, yodel out though. That is true. I would have those summers. I would come back
[00:17:21] Looking cute and then something would always bring me back
[00:17:24] I always struggled to like real because I would get you know, I'm like obsessive or whatever
[00:17:28] So I'd be like that's it. I'm losing weight
[00:17:30] And then I would have like one day where I ran like 10 miles until my ankles were like falling off
[00:17:36] And just almost kill myself and then maybe the next day like do it again
[00:17:39] And then by day three, it's like I don't know how people do this and it's like
[00:17:46] You're saying your your behavior your upbringing was completely opposite Adam
[00:17:50] You're your family would split the food. It was like a north korean prison camp. It was
[00:18:02] Brand and then for a treat we we drizzle a little bit of honey on it
[00:18:09] And then I could only have like lucky charms kind of shit if I was having a sleepover at a friend's house
[00:18:15] So that's why you so your parents were giving lucky charms to bring you bring your friends out
[00:18:21] No, my friends parents would buy the sugary cereals. That's why I would imagine how much the fucking sleepovers at adam's house sucked
[00:18:27] Yeah, they were terrible. Oh, they're bad. No, but we were allowed to
[00:18:31] Uh watch rated R. That was our cool thing your dad was like boys only brand cereal, but I want you home
[00:18:37] How do you like it? You like this sex scene?
[00:18:43] Some rated R movies in healthy cereal. We've got kashi and and then female
[00:18:53] We're gonna watch species and eat fucking weeder bicks
[00:18:57] Let's weed the pigs in the corner next to the trunk full of wigs and lipstick feel free to put any we're gonna put on makeup and
[00:19:03] Adam's gonna put on my high heels and then we're going we're all going to eat
[00:19:16] And I just I also remember at sleepovers my friends would have uh king's hawaiian rolls at their houses
[00:19:22] Which we never had at our house and I thought it was the best food in the entire world
[00:19:26] See I've only I didn't have that until adulthood. I didn't even know what the fuck it was. I also like uh
[00:19:31] So good. Yeah, I've only I've only had it for like dipping thing
[00:19:35] I mean that's like you know what I probably had it like thanksgivings. That's where you see that shit
[00:19:39] Oh, yeah, I don't see the fucking big fuss about that fucking roll. It's a fucking roll. It's just it's just sweet bread
[00:19:45] It's fluffy. Yeah, I would rather take a nice fucking baked something with the crust in the middle is actually soft
[00:19:51] Processed in a bag shit you tell them bread gotta come fucking
[00:19:55] Nice. Yeah, fuck buttery, but bagged bread. I don't fuck with bagged bread
[00:20:02] Bet bread in a bag. No, not in the last artisanal loaf. It's gotta be our artisanal loaf
[00:20:10] Stop you haven't become one of those bread baker. You know, it's crazy. It's my I feel like my dad
[00:20:15] I'll get into that at some point. My dad is still excited about ponero bread
[00:20:22] 20 years after he's like hey, you know, we you can go over to ponero
[00:20:29] Maybe we should just maybe your dad and my mom should just get married at ponero, dude
[00:20:33] Maybe that's the solution we meld our family
[00:20:41] Get married to each other as senior citizen
[00:20:44] We're wearing matching pajamas and they're like you're not identical. Yeah, your friends and then you're grown men
[00:20:56] Nothing that's your real is it changes. It's like fucking we're both still living in our individual apartments
[00:21:02] We text we text maybe once a week and then see each other to do the podcast
[00:21:17] I probably changed my name. We probably go by my mother's maiden name
[00:21:24] Oh, yeah bank forms and stuff. Yeah, nice. Try that. I'm smart. I'm very smart. Listen. No, no, I almost caught you slipping
[00:21:31] But you were ready. You'll never catch me slipping dude. Yeah
[00:21:35] Never dude. I got that anti-slip shit. They caught me. They caught me sleeping
[00:21:40] Uh, they caught me sleeping in the girls bathroom
[00:21:49] I've been asleep in my penis. He was out. I do not like getting consleeping on a job
[00:21:59] Those motherfuckers are out dude. I see them. Yeah, they're not I think it's Berg paints with with masks on
[00:22:09] Yeah, I'm in the Home Depot parking lot. No masks. There's one guy sitting in an office chair
[00:22:17] In a story it's yeah, no, it was like one that like an old school office chair look the kind of private detective would have
[00:22:23] Oh, yeah, mine is more of a fucked up. You know the classic computer lab rolly chair
[00:22:30] I like that. Yeah, like a day labor fucking noir guy
[00:22:37] She walked into my office like a big spicy piece of me
[00:23:03] What do you say? What do you know? What do you say? I don't know anything
[00:23:07] I don't know. I think listen chief somebody's got to figure this case out. There's gonna be you
[00:23:15] I don't know. I don't want yeah, I don't really know where to go
[00:23:20] I don't really know what it's just the voice and then
[00:23:24] Uh, what are some good noise? I watched the long goodbye. Yeah that rocked cock. I'm trying to
[00:23:29] I'm Roger rabbit. All right. Who framed Roger rabbit the show terriers is very good. Nia nor is it yeah, dude
[00:23:38] Terriers terriers is one of the best shows I've ever seen
[00:23:42] Really definitely in the top five like shows that should have gotten a second season that fucking like just disappeared
[00:23:49] Donald luge in that motherfucker. Yeah, Donald luge
[00:23:53] Motherfucker Donald luge. Yeah, he's a funny. He's like a weird unlikely actor
[00:23:58] I fuck. I always like it's great. Yeah, he's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[00:24:03] He's the other guy that was in the sitcom with him in the same shit
[00:24:08] Kevin Kevin. Oh like Kevin Connolly. Yeah, his name is way more iris than you think
[00:24:13] Yeah, think he's like a quarter porter reek or something. He might be I saw him actually a cafe regio
[00:24:19] I like that guy too. Yeah, namal. That's where adam buys his weed me and stop cafe regio cafe faggio
[00:24:25] Yeah, I smoke faggs. No you smoke reggie
[00:24:33] Exe what were you saying Nick? I can't remember. Oh, I saw that guy kevin. Is it kevin
[00:24:39] Kevin Connolly? What the fuck is his name? I think it is
[00:24:43] Um you should watch uh stop. It's not just not kevin Connolly
[00:24:48] Double in indemnity if you want to watch the new war. I watched
[00:24:52] I got fucking high as shit yesterday and I watched Constantine. It was good as fuck
[00:24:58] I don't ever see it, but I was so fucking stuff. Is that part of your your your hell series kevin corrigan?
[00:25:05] corrigan yeah, I watched that's right little Nicky and then
[00:25:10] Constantine. I didn't do the one you said nix. I fell asleep. It was an end of days
[00:25:25] I why I remember seeing it in theaters dude. I think yeah
[00:25:29] That was a big east point mall go to mcdonald's go see little niki
[00:25:34] That's a fucking day brother. Yeah, what's that? So he plays a guy who's penis is small
[00:25:38] but he wants to get a bigger one, but he needs uh
[00:25:42] Yeah, he has a benefactor that gives him the money for dick bigger surgery, but he has to go
[00:25:48] An older gay man. He has to go to hell to find the guy's wife. Yep
[00:25:54] He has to go. He also made a sequel to it
[00:25:56] He has to beat the devil in a round of putt putt golf to get
[00:26:01] Otherwise your devil takes this piece starring adam sandler
[00:26:05] Yeah, they're actually made a sequel about um adam's penis called little bricky
[00:26:13] Yeah, I call that's watch out for that. Yeah
[00:26:15] Yeah, they made a sequel about the waterboy about adam called the faggot
[00:26:30] It's about really yeah, it's called the water boy to
[00:26:45] Are there any same kit all the same character you can do a guy with a one hand. No, no, that's uh scary movie
[00:26:52] Three that's no, that's uh the golf one. Yeah, happy
[00:26:58] Well, that sounds cool. Congrats out. I didn't know I didn't know you made two movies starring you
[00:27:03] Yeah, it's just nice to get the work. That's what I say. Yeah, absolutely
[00:27:07] Little pricky ends the faggot. I've I watched um
[00:27:12] I watched what do you call it? Uh mighty win yesterday because that guy died rip dude dude the funniest guy
[00:27:20] Ever to lose jerry stiller and willard back to back actually hurt those guys
[00:27:26] Rock they always they're always the funniest guy in the scene
[00:27:29] I mean fucking jerry stiller was so fucking funny and Fred willard
[00:27:33] I mean everything he was in was like fucking hysterical
[00:27:36] Yeah, he just pops in for like a couple minutes at a time and there's all would you say you re rewatched the mighty win
[00:27:44] He's he's amazing. I think best in show is probably my favorite of yeah that one rocks. It's so good
[00:27:54] Goffman's great. I actually haven't seen that one. It's goffman. Yeah
[00:28:00] Uh, that's the show's Adam's in a movie called uh waiting for toughman
[00:28:04] And there's a bunch of tough guys showing up to his apartment and uh, I'm waiting
[00:28:08] He's just been downing a lestra and poppers
[00:28:12] Waiting for the tough guys. So just lee
[00:28:14] Lubing up his ass and opening just eating wow chips and
[00:28:20] He can't do it fast enough. Yeah, they've been off the market for so long and then hooray sure is like sure to get the
[00:28:25] The wow chip hooray sure is like, uh, I don't what the hell are you doing?
[00:28:30] Or hooray sure sounds. Yeah. Wow nice penis Adam
[00:28:36] Nice. That's a great penis Adam great penis Adam great penis
[00:28:43] Let me get my extra where two pairs of glasses to see his penis
[00:28:52] What are some other movies Adam's been in?
[00:29:12] You it's you part it's the same exact movie, but part of the dog obstacle course is every dog fucks you in the ass
[00:29:18] I love that. I love the the part of bested show where the gay guy is walking. He's like, yeah
[00:29:25] Fred is like, uh, he's like now if you cut if you're buying neighborhood you better be a hotel bell boy if you want to dress like
[00:29:34] Dude, yes in that one he has nothing but heaters dude. Yeah, so good
[00:29:43] Announcer such a good game the color comment or no. I guess the British got the color commentator
[00:29:49] So yeah, he's the play by play man the play by play. Yeah, yeah, what's the line about the shitsu in that movie?
[00:29:58] But there's a red willard has some shitsu line. It's so fucking funny
[00:30:03] I cannot I do not recall. Yeah, and then that whole like what happened thing?
[00:30:07] Yeah, what happened is what happened is yeah, and then the headline it flashes a cancel due to complete lack of interest
[00:30:15] Yeah, I saw some national inquire headline like a month or two ago where it's like
[00:30:21] Alex Trebek dying for sure or whatever, but he's like not
[00:30:26] I think he's doing he's doing okay, and it's like that should be doing really well
[00:30:29] It should be off limits for national inquire
[00:30:32] To just be like this now he's gonna die
[00:30:37] It's like just wait. I know we all said he was going to before well
[00:30:41] It's like everybody already knows the national choir is just like who the fuck is buying national inquire
[00:30:46] How are they still in business? Who's like I don't in this day and age. It's like fucking oh how about lies?
[00:30:54] When I just stumped online just thumb through a bunch of bullshit lies about fucking celeb like hally berry got her third nipple removed
[00:31:02] Yeah, and it's like you know what it is. It's probably a bunch of guys. It's a bunch of old gay guys like yeah
[00:31:07] I see John Waters is still reading the national inquire and knowing it's fake. It was Fred Willard and Jerry stiller. That's
[00:31:16] Hey, they're not gay. Well, they were gay. They were gay with each other
[00:31:21] Whoa, and he was so broken heart just put it in my ass put it in my ass
[00:31:32] Got what did it my ass George fuck me in my ass. I don't want to fuck you dad. I don't want to fuck you the ass
[00:31:46] So awesome why can't I fuck you in the ass just titled the gang fucks George in the ass?
[00:31:57] I don't want to fuck it in the ass Jerry. Yeah, Kramer just puts his hand in his ass
[00:32:21] That's what you get for fucking Adam with the tough man
[00:32:24] The tough man, mm-hmm. It's all one thing the same universe. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. What else is new? What's happened this week? I can't I haven't been paying
[00:32:37] Anymore Fred Wheeler Adam. That's your job
[00:32:42] You're the new guy. You know every you know how radio shows have been used guy. Yeah, it's like our job
[00:32:47] It's too funny guys in a news guy. Our job is to fucking listen to a lot of old stirs riff on things
[00:32:53] Oh, good. So it'll be fun to see those jokes show up on the show
[00:32:59] And then because it'll naturally be something that we all riff on and then me and style will get accused to steal
[00:33:05] No, I've been listening to a lot of interviews because not so jokey. Oh, okay. Listen to all the trump interviews, which are awesome. Yeah, what are some highlights?
[00:33:14] Uh, I mean they're they're all well known at this point, but yeah, I mean he's he talks about groping melani and public
[00:33:22] Uh, there's yeah, there's a bunch of really good one
[00:33:26] Um, yeah, it how it's like it's funny to hear that style of interview
[00:33:32] Like in I guess we sort of maybe have done it when we have guests, but he's like, oh, don't tell me does she like it?
[00:33:38] Uh, does she like amal? What it will say?
[00:33:41] What if uh, you wake up in the morning? He's the best interviewer in the world, dude. He's the best
[00:33:46] Yeah, everybody talks about him being good
[00:33:48] He's yeah, Terry gross. My girl listens to him, dude
[00:33:54] Yeah, you can't listen to the terry gross jerry stiller interview
[00:34:01] Hmm how was that it was fucking good dude. He's an interesting guy
[00:34:04] He talks about like how like just starting in show business just back then it's just
[00:34:09] You just had to fucking knock on agents doors and let them you have to do your act in front of them
[00:34:15] It was so fucking weird he would work at a hot dog stand overnight so that he could spend every morning going around and knocking on like
[00:34:23] Show business guys doors and trying to get like work. I don't even understand how it worked
[00:34:29] That's how like wait wait your parents tell you like honestly
[00:34:32] Yeah, how many career like go just why don't I think my parents told me before I moved to New York
[00:34:36] They're like why can't you try to get jerry sinefield's email?
[00:34:40] And tell them that you're a young kamee
[00:34:42] That would work it used to I mean, I guess that's how things used to happen
[00:34:49] I'm trying to go they weren't they went on the fucking ed Sullivan show or some shit. I don't know
[00:34:53] I was I was doing I was doing my walk. I've been walking in the mornings because
[00:34:58] I have been doing nothing. So I get up early when the streets are empty
[00:35:08] Yeah, I've been listening also a lot to the
[00:35:11] to the patrice short-lived patrice podcast black philip
[00:35:21] Was that a podcast or was he he did like an hour on xm every once in a while?
[00:35:27] Yeah, and I listened to them a couple years ago, but I revisit they're all about like
[00:35:32] Controlling just have a woman on and just be so mean to her
[00:35:35] I haven't listened to those I must I must they're going on there great for your walks honestly
[00:35:45] I also listened to some fucking the damn boss bruce springsteen
[00:35:51] It's so funny that max Weinberg was in his band and I just thought of him as the guy from konin
[00:35:55] I just tried to go to the news to find uh
[00:35:58] What's in it? Yeah, just like you know anything that's going on outside looks like there's this uh
[00:36:04] This like there's a this coronavirus thing going on
[00:36:11] Yeah, I know everybody's talking about this uh
[00:36:15] There's a virus or something really yeah, I guess why don't know anything about that
[00:36:25] News dot com baby news dot com has to say new. I'm just nine great
[00:36:34] No facial recognition firms are scrambling to see around face masks. Uh oh
[00:36:39] Amazon doesn't commit to putting Bezos before antitrust committee
[00:36:46] Um, you think that would be good or does he have a trillion dollars that people have been oh here we go
[00:36:50] AT&T touts HBO max which i've clicked on because there's a woman I would like to
[00:37:00] Uh how to 18 t is uh, oh, this is interesting. Uh, the hoo website
[00:37:06] Jeff mik alphresh 18 t that's interesting stuff. Let's see what else we got here on news dot com
[00:37:12] Yeah, i'm looking at it right now consoles pc mobile take big step toward playing together, but wow
[00:37:18] I'm gonna kind of cut so well. Yeah, that's that can you imagine if you like bridging the gap between consoles and pc's in an effective way
[00:37:26] What kind of power a unified gaming community would have now that would be something to destroy
[00:37:32] So much beef on these streets, you know
[00:37:35] Between the console gamers and the pc gamers refresh my memory. Adam. Did you start gaming in quarantine?
[00:37:46] Playing guitar and painting playing guitar
[00:37:53] It's just so funny to imagine your like sick mother
[00:37:57] And you're playing guitar and singing and she's just wailing and misery
[00:38:04] Shut up adam your whole fame is like stop stop
[00:38:13] You sound like a bitch when you play guitar
[00:38:15] I got all the roku soundbar two for one enhanced your tv sound
[00:38:20] And add a streaming media player for $150 that's on news dot com
[00:38:35] Snowpier sir gripping new tv adaptation paxa who done it twice
[00:38:39] I'm on the same right there with your brother. Yeah, what is it? SpaceX invites 2020 grads to launch their photos on historic
[00:38:47] Is this Jennifer Connolly you think she's sucking dick in her 50s? I think so for sure wait mark
[00:38:53] You want to talk about a lady who you can beat off to what she's put on in
[00:38:58] Movies she's been naked a lot. Oh, yeah back in the days. Yeah, no mark marin's girlfriend died
[00:39:05] We're gonna who's mark marin's girl. We're gonna hit that. I don't know
[00:39:07] We're gonna hit the who gives a shit button on that
[00:39:11] Wow mark marin's girlfriend died. So that's like the first confirmed case of a covid fatality under the age of 12
[00:39:23] Give me the next one. I don't know. I think it's pretty no i'm fucking i'm s and l here
[00:39:26] So give me the address. Yeah, i'm i'm calling joce and this is s and l
[00:39:31] First of all adam we get along use from use dot com
[00:39:34] We're on so don't even look at other fucking snope
[00:39:39] And here's a picture of snowpiercer. It's a black guy with dreads and jennifer connley
[00:39:43] So I guess she's snow and he's piercer am i right?
[00:39:51] There's a new snowpiercer. There's a new snowpiercer and that's the joke. It's about race mixing. It's about miscegenation
[00:39:59] That sounds cool. Let's go moving on news.com next article
[00:40:03] All right, what else we got on use our third named first storm of the season moved towards north carolina coast
[00:40:13] I'm only get our news off and use i swear to god if you are not on news dot com adam and you're fucking up the weekend update segment
[00:40:20] It's the weekend we're updating people and they want they want the source they can trust news dot com
[00:40:27] News dot com. Yeah, that's juicers of 2020. Yeah
[00:40:31] The best bluetooth speak best juicers best juicers of 2020. Uh, I have to say
[00:40:50] He's been getting away with it for two damn long
[00:40:56] I I did watch um they've been replaying old
[00:41:02] baseball games and my I watched game one of the 88 world series with my dad who because he was there
[00:41:11] Uh, they asked you was sucking off for gipson in the what does this have to do with weekend update?
[00:41:17] They asked canceco in the game. They like cut to an interview with him about being on steroids
[00:41:22] And he's like yeah, I mean like I couldn't do it to those kids, you know growing up and my man
[00:41:34] Okay, no chrome will block ads to tax your phone or pc. That's nice of them
[00:41:44] Yeah, how about this? Yeah, how about a browser called? Uh, yeah, so chrome will block ads
[00:41:49] Uh headed to your pc or phone and there's another browser called chrome
[00:41:54] Zone that'll add even more ads to it because it's a fucking it's re that's for retards
[00:42:01] Okay weekend update next story what about amazon to reopen warehouses in france after deal with workers
[00:42:12] The number first one they're open is uh the one with quasi moto in it that fucking retard
[00:42:33] In a reported 400 million dollar deal. Yeah, and uh,
[00:42:37] lisabeth warren is buying jiffy to smirr owner pussy to have her dog. Look at all. Yeah, baby
[00:42:53] I like how you work. My boy bale is gonna get some fucking peanut butter flavored pussy after that burrito
[00:42:57] Yeah, that was disgusting weekend updates got the same theme song as the show renegade but it did
[00:43:19] I am dude any more news. Yeah, let's keep going unless you're gonna
[00:43:23] Say something that's not hose a kinsako said he didn't do steroids, but then you look at him
[00:43:30] Man, i'm telling you this guy looks like he's on steroids. Can you believe it
[00:43:45] Okay, um turned on from real doll sex boss to connected toys
[00:43:49] Is cnet explores the intersection of sex and technology. Yeah, the intersection of sex and technology
[00:43:57] What is that the downtown the mission district or something? I don't know some there's an actual intersection
[00:44:03] Yeah, yeah, what is that where this? That's
[00:44:07] Gay nerds live there. That's why you're tweeting while getting your dick sucked at the corner of uh, yeah
[00:44:19] Yeah, the intersection of technology and sex. What is that fucking
[00:44:25] Where is that intersection? I don't know they should do that pussy doc. They should do the thing
[00:44:30] What they do with who I famous black people with sex workers where they get you know, you get your street
[00:44:34] If you do enough black shit eventually you get streets
[00:44:38] Named after so if you suck enough cock for money
[00:44:40] Yeah, you know, so every city should have um Martin as a king then Malcolm x
[00:44:45] The Marcus Garvey boulevard and then the next oh jesimson the next one is like, um, you know fucking janna michaels
[00:44:55] I'm buying property on jonah michaels boulevard dude
[00:44:58] Is she still sucking in the second of course. Yeah, of course she is
[00:45:03] I thought she might have retired. No, she's not there. You know who else and I think I've mentioned this carmella being is still out there
[00:45:09] Mm-hmm, and now she's fat and that adds a little something to me. I don't know why but I like it
[00:45:14] Yeah, you like someone growing into their body. I like to just grow into her body and her tits have gotten even bigger
[00:45:24] Yeah, Amazon the life on lockdown with four roommates. How to get anything done
[00:45:29] Apple arcade on tv near nearly a year later and still a work in progress
[00:45:37] fucking idiots app. Yeah apples apples failing gaming
[00:45:46] Maybe it's uh, maybe they should ask the folks over at the genius bar
[00:45:50] Yeah, we're the we're the geniuses. Yeah, we're the gene. Why don't I guess all the geniuses had off
[00:45:55] I guess all the geniuses were at the bar
[00:46:00] So the geniuses were getting fucking trashed at the bar
[00:46:03] Instead of figuring out their failing gaming division over at Apple
[00:46:10] Nancy Pelosi no red lines for build to help struggling state and local governments. Yeah, but there's definitely
[00:46:16] So go ahead on how you know go ahead. No. No, you had something go ahead
[00:46:22] I was gonna ask you what the what you said. That's yeah
[00:46:26] Yeah, okay, I'll tell you Nancy Pelosi no red lines for bill to help struggling state and local governments
[00:46:38] She she doesn't have any red red lines and she doesn't have any uh panty lines either because uh
[00:46:49] No no red lines for bill clinton to respect
[00:46:51] Yeah, Nancy Pelosi commenting on the bill clinton rape accusations
[00:46:59] No, I like that she tans in the nude also
[00:47:01] Because she's a slut. She's a fucking slut. Did you see that? There was a video of her this week people were sharing when she looked nasty as hell
[00:47:11] She looked moist. She looked old as a bitch. I mean she is old. She's like 80
[00:47:20] Obama criticized his virus response in online graduation speech this from aljazeera english. Oh, okay
[00:47:28] Why don't they pay attention to their own damn what the fuck is your dad? Obama doing?
[00:47:36] Laubon made a graduation ceremony for all the kids that can't have a graduation
[00:47:40] Well, I'll be pissed if I was a kid and I had to hear from obama
[00:47:43] Do kids think obama is cool. No, they gotta think he sucks, right? Yeah, of course
[00:47:51] Imagine you're fucking 16 17 years old now. What were you when he was out of office 10
[00:47:59] Yeah, they don't give a shit like imagine. I didn't give a fuck about george or fucking although I thought bill clinton was cool
[00:48:04] Actually, that's that's probably yeah. Yeah. There's a baby you fucking think bill. He wears sunglasses and you play sax
[00:48:10] Exactly saxophone. I mean he's so he's basically fucking mac tonight from the mcdonald's commercial
[00:48:17] You think the president and fast food are kind of related
[00:48:20] And he was the first black president at the time everyone called him. Yeah, black people were true. Yeah, so
[00:48:32] Honestly though everyone talks about how everyone's sad about missing graduation, but
[00:48:36] fucking college and high school graduation sucks, dude
[00:48:40] No, just have to sit there. What about the parties afterwards dude the nights you'll never forget
[00:48:44] I don't remember a single I guess I had a graduation party at my friend's house with a pool
[00:48:48] That was pretty tight actually. Uh-huh and I drank like 12 blood light limes in front of my family
[00:48:55] Go for it. I didn't go to my high school graduation. Why?
[00:49:03] Come on. I had a nick dude. I got into nationals and debate
[00:49:13] Fuck you were a little debate fucking club to lose her. Yeah, I don't know if I've disclosed that in 300 episodes of comptown
[00:49:18] Nice dude. How did it go? What was the fucking topic you were discussing? I lost miserably. I did
[00:49:25] Which is that they give you a topic you have 30 minutes to write a speech about it. Oh shit. What was your speech?
[00:49:30] I forgot what it was. I forgot what it was about it was some
[00:49:39] You lost miser I went to Philadelphia and lost miserably you went to Philadelphia from fucking
[00:49:45] Nothing nationals that year. Wow, but I did meet Lincoln financial
[00:49:51] Sponsors the stadium the Eagle Stadium link of course and they have a Abraham Lincoln impersonator
[00:50:00] I think it's in a lot of their ads too, and I did meet him. I thought that was pretty cool
[00:50:04] You have sex with him. I didn't have sex with him, but I respected did you get pussy on the trip to Philly?
[00:50:11] Uh, no, I didn't get any pussy you and your dad a gay guy trying to rape me actually wait
[00:50:18] What yeah, what happened this fat gay guy kind of in a Tim Dillon kind of
[00:50:29] He was uh, yeah, he was on he did a different debate. He was from my region. Mm-hmm. Um, I don't know where he is these days. I think he's a
[00:50:41] Very Christian. Oh, yeah, and he what he tried to get you in his apartment or his room
[00:50:45] No, we were rooming together and he was like do you want to sleep in my bed?
[00:50:50] What the fuck another fucking teenager asked you to sleep in his bed
[00:51:04] Wait, what Nick? Do you you miss something great? Oh good Adam almost got raped when he was 17 by almost get raped
[00:51:19] Dude's rock because it's like imagine like a woman like it's a girl podcast
[00:51:27] The other girl has to go into the bathroom to like I don't know fucking fix or pussy because it's having an infection or something
[00:51:34] Yep, it's having an infection from not having children from having to from having too much sex with strangers and not strangers and never
[00:51:41] Siring a child instead of having a kid with one man as it was supposed to do
[00:51:45] Since your pussy's meant to buy by God by by by divine science
[00:51:52] And so I'm like she's coming back. Oh, sorry. It's my pussy again
[00:51:57] And but you know and then the fat girl is like Adam just said she got raped by a fat guy when she was 17
[00:52:04] And then yeah like in what universe could the girl respond the appropriate way which is going? No, I thought I mean even at the time people thought it was
[00:52:17] Pretty funny. I was like, yeah, it's trying to suck me off last night
[00:52:21] I don't know his roommate. It's pretty gay. I mean he went to nationals and debate. I missed my high school graduation
[00:52:29] To go to nationals in speech and debate and the fat guy that he was really
[00:52:36] Yeah, he was like you're doing when I come in my bed
[00:52:41] I'm not a homosexual. You seem you seem like black debate club, right?
[00:52:46] Which it's like a documentary, right? Well, no, it's like so there's like black schools that have their own debate clubs
[00:52:52] Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then they'll just use the n word and shit
[00:52:55] Yeah, well because the way the bait club works is you're just supposed to like sit talk as fast as possible
[00:53:02] Yeah for policy. Yeah, they get in his money and so they'll use the m word
[00:53:05] I never did that and then it's all just like how come it's supposed to be this way?
[00:53:09] It can be the other way how come you do it one way, but it's not you can't do it the other way man. That's
[00:53:19] Yeah, I mean here listen to the youtube speech and debate was
[00:53:22] I mean the people that come out of it end up being the biggest fucking dildos in society
[00:53:27] I think I actually made it out all right. Oh, yeah
[00:53:32] What was the other you guys ever do something called? I think it was national academically naol
[00:53:41] The fucking tigers let's get right into can you hear that yeah, cross-ex
[00:53:53] This is the local news and they just they just put in the m word
[00:54:13] You can't argue with that yeah, she sounds scared dude
[00:54:28] And this is you sure this isn't like poetry no it's debate club and the thing is is like
[00:54:35] You know to laugh at this is not because it's like is this even this is just some stupid fucking debate club thing
[00:54:42] This isn't part of like any discernible culture
[00:54:46] Right, this is no it's it's ridiculous that that you get awarded points for doing whatever she was doing
[00:54:51] But even that there's even points of word
[00:54:53] The bait club was already it already sucked
[00:54:56] It's like the intersection of something that should be fine
[00:54:59] And cool which is black people and something that's like garbage and sucks and sucks at all the coolness out of it
[00:55:05] Which is debate club. It's like Christian rock
[00:55:17] Yeah, no, it's uh, I think the point is you're supposed to get out as much evidence as possible
[00:55:22] What do you think would have happened if you hung out in that guy's bed
[00:55:26] He would have had he would have such my penis
[00:55:32] Well, I just said no, I mean, it's not like a traumatic experience
[00:55:47] Uh, yeah, so then so that's what i didn't make you sure my high school graduation for
[00:55:52] Oh, you're avoiding it because you're using in the first round your at nationals and then uh having a
[00:56:04] It's pretty fat pretty fat fella. How like so give us some ballpark was he how was he tall?
[00:56:10] I don't know. It's a certain type of you can't really tell even they just so
[00:56:15] So fat you couldn't tell how tall he was they just seem big
[00:56:21] You know, I was like buck 30 wet he could have raped me for sure
[00:56:25] Yeah, I think it was a proposition more than a
[00:56:34] Oh, I think probably around there. Oh, hell yeah, dude. That would have been hilarious. Yeah, a big fat guy sucking your dick
[00:56:46] Well, how is this a story about you almost getting raped? Is this just a story about a gay fat man proposition?
[00:56:54] They were the same route. Yeah. Yeah, we were roommates at nationals and you shared a bed
[00:56:59] No, we had two queen beds and we were two just two queens sharing a yeah two queens in two full beds. Yeah
[00:57:07] I've had shared a hotel room in a while
[00:57:10] I mean, I was yeah, yeah when you go on the road and that's always fun another comic you get two beds
[00:57:16] You put some bullshit on the tv you go way too high
[00:57:18] Yeah, you're like what the fuck is a cash flow business anyways?
[00:57:24] Oh, yeah, it is cool because it lets you tap in and as like a comedian to that like sleepover mentality of joking
[00:57:30] Yeah, which is adult sleepover, which is where where you know, that's the divine source. I still say we all shared that
[00:57:41] Some of the funniest one the most beautiful moments of your life. I mean you're this that was pretty fun
[00:57:46] when you slept on the cot and then dude I did it out of the benevolence
[00:57:55] I was injured man. He was I've needed a bed because he was injured and I was pissed which is the type of injury
[00:58:04] Oh fuck dude. I got bubble guts. Yeah. What'd you eat?
[00:58:11] I got six days left on or no five days left on the
[00:58:19] How long you've been doing it for seven weeks?
[00:58:23] Which it'll be what do you do next you bulk?
[00:58:25] Well, no, I don't have access to a gym. So probably just go back to eating a maintenance, but
[00:58:29] Gotcha. It's definitely like I mean now I can I just feel less arging all the time and can't think or whatever
[00:58:39] I don't know. I just do it based on like macros. I just look at the app
[00:58:43] I just do it meal by meal and plug things in I don't like concern myself with anything other than because it's like I guess it it works
[00:58:48] I mean, it's more about like just actually getting to the end of the diet because anytime I've run
[00:58:53] RP dies before I like give up halfway through
[00:58:57] Retard penis die. Retard penis. You only suck over your penis exactly cut it off fried up
[00:59:08] What happened where my where's my penis?
[00:59:13] Well, because a lot of people don't know this but they're kind of like a
[00:59:17] Salamander's tail grow back. Oh, that's part of the extra chroma. Well, it's right back where it was
[00:59:26] It's yeah, there's a retard's always grow another penis and another thing a lot of people know is that you can pull an infinite a number of quarters from behind their ears
[00:59:38] The magician that's why you've never seen a retarded person in a magic show
[00:59:42] Because capitalism would cease to exist if a retard in a magician teamed up
[00:59:47] Yep, because the magician would just print an infinite amount of money out of the back of the retard's ears
[01:00:05] Yeah, so Nick's just got a guy in his closet and he chops his penis off for every meal and it grows back
[01:00:18] Yeah, it's nice I lean out a decent amount though. You know, yeah, you look cute. Thanks, man
[01:00:28] Well, I don't know. I'd like the gym to be opening it. It's like I think it's like gonna be one of the last things to reopen the gyms
[01:00:35] Yeah, probably for sure. Well, that's why I think I like every reopening plan the gyms are always like the that's why I went on
[01:00:41] That's why I like decided to like try to lean out because it's like well
[01:00:45] I'm gonna lose a bunch of fucking strength anyways
[01:00:47] It'll feel like starting over. I'm 31 and it's gonna be like incredibly depressing to go to a gym
[01:00:55] You know only be able to bench press like a hundred and fifty pounds. You know for like I know
[01:01:06] Yeah, so I'm doing push-ups to try and get my fucking shoulder
[01:01:10] Strength back up. Yeah, my wrists were aching but since I made those plyo boxes. I added like an extra now
[01:01:16] I'm like doing handstand push-ups at like a higher
[01:01:19] Deficit so it's less volume. It's just an increased range
[01:01:23] Which the stress on my wrist is the same anyways now that's like resolved it because I'm not doing like sets of 15
[01:01:30] Yeah, yeah, you should get a resistance band stop
[01:01:34] Resistance band I'm gonna start my own line of fitness equipment
[01:01:45] Hey, what's up, are you fucking gym fat like me? Hey, my name's Jeff LaJashua fitness fitness guru here
[01:01:51] Just shirtless in the YouTube video always like always gesturing like this
[01:01:55] Yeah, always that's because three things. There's three things you got to know number one never use these two fingers to count anything
[01:02:06] Number one number two and number three you always count this way never like this because if you do it like this
[01:02:14] You look like a fucking pussy. Okay. You look. Yeah, you look like a motherfucking pussy
[01:02:19] Alright, you don't want to fucking ever use these fingers for anything
[01:02:24] Always always and that's Jeff LaJashua's tips to getting now. We're gonna show you a 35 minute easy
[01:02:31] Simple resistance band ab workout that requires zero equipment except everything from our website
[01:02:39] There's a guy I love the Instagram ads were some guys like just eating one simple thing
[01:02:45] And it'll turn your whole fucking life around and I've never clicked
[01:02:49] But if you go in the comments people will will fucking tell you what it isn't and it's it was the guy
[01:02:54] Was just like it was the answer was tuna
[01:02:59] Make you watch a 30 minute video and click to a different way
[01:03:09] Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking I'm gonna have some beautiful hair start doing some push-ups
[01:03:19] If I could get nice arms and hair which I have half I'm halfway through the hair is looking nice. Thanks, brother. Yeah. I
[01:03:37] God damn yeah, I cannot wait I'm starting to miss being able to do stand up for the live shows I
[01:03:44] Mean oh, yeah, this remote shit sucks ass
[01:03:46] I got to figure out a way to do this in the living room or something. It's like yeah, it's just fucking impossible
[01:03:52] Get in the living room. Yeah, maybe it's not there's no it's not like it ruins the hanging out element
[01:04:02] Guess dude. I'm getting used to it. I've been doing so much zoom shit
[01:04:05] I have but with this show. It's like a kind of a problem with this show. It doesn't really work
[01:04:10] I know what you mean because it's like we get we had a chance to chill other shows. Yeah at your house exactly
[01:04:16] Other shows like I do like fucking that bastard radio show or anything on gas digital
[01:04:20] I mean it's like that would be normally the thing I would have to go to the studio anyways
[01:04:24] And then have a coffee and sit there and like do my job as
[01:04:28] You know where there's a lot of like with other shows. It's okay to like just fish for
[01:04:37] Just get the vibe. Yeah, just have fun with my friends, which is like the whole point of this
[01:04:42] Right, you know, and then like you know
[01:04:46] Yeah, I get it when it's just literally staring at a fucking computer
[01:04:49] I mean, yeah, I've never like I didn't face time before this
[01:04:53] I probably I probably use face time once ever prior to this fucking quarantine bullshit
[01:04:59] With who was his name? Yeah, what was the guy's name that you're?
[01:05:17] About what that his son had was coming home from New York with a viral load
[01:05:27] To protect himself, yeah, I don't know something like that joke is something like the joke is
[01:05:32] If you're new to come town that joke is Adam has HIV and his father is
[01:05:40] If you're just joining us his father is also if you're just joining us Adam has been gay for the last three years
[01:05:46] Yeah, it would be nice to do the show but guys that call billiards
[01:05:54] I've never seen a pussy in my heart had sex before once I've never had sex, but I want I
[01:05:59] I would I dream I would like to have sex, but I only have the tip of a penis
[01:06:04] I was born with no shaft. I have two very large nuts and simply I have
[01:06:11] I have I have one giant ball with the tip of a penis on the end
[01:06:17] I have very much one day to have a woman put her lips on a giant long ball with the tip of a penis on the end and so
[01:06:24] Sex for me is excruciating as the ball is squeezed and it's very difficult to explain to women that
[01:06:32] The that is no, it's actually in fact that the ball is not a penis. It's not you. It's a ball
[01:06:41] Because it hurts it's and that my penis is actually the little nuts just what looks to be my the top part
[01:06:49] The rest there's no shaft that's simply a ball with a penis head
[01:06:58] It's quite excruciating when it hurts very much to be jacked off
[01:07:05] That's something have observed. It's very painful to me
[01:07:10] You may notice here is coming up for underneath the ass is my asshole underneath the ball and
[01:07:16] And then underneath sometimes it gets wrapped up in my sometimes I shit on my ball. I
[01:07:29] Oh now we've got a fucking eight ball or something. I don't know billiards. Oh, yeah
[01:07:34] But I was gonna I was gonna get him back into the action very much
[01:07:38] Oh, yeah, I saw a crazy guy. I had to go bike over to pet boys
[01:07:45] And I saw a crazy guy yelling in Spanish, which is nice. Yeah, which oddly you don't see very often
[01:07:52] It's always in English. That's true. Yeah, I get but it was weird once go for it
[01:08:02] What have you seen once a guy in Spanish a guy? Yeah, and he was drinking and slapping himself in the face as hard as he could
[01:08:13] But it wasn't in New York it was in downtown Silver Spring, Maryland. Oh and in Spanish. She's saying stop speaking Spanish
[01:08:22] Yeah, that's what it was and I was like or a lady dude how oh, I lay how's it go?
[01:08:31] Yeah, you're right, dude. I bet you see that in LA more
[01:08:35] But even New York plenty of Spanish speakers. Yeah, I've never seen anyone speaking yelling in Greek here either and a story is full of
[01:08:47] There's one guy who I can't tell what language is saying. It might be some Eastern European shit
[01:08:50] He comes around every fucking six months. That's so funny that those countries that just have their bullshit language still going
[01:08:57] Yeah, like yeah, man. I'm going to speak croat
[01:09:06] Speaking in this language. It's like now just at this point learn English because if you see all languages is competition with each other
[01:09:13] Right, it's not about culture. It's the best system. It's like fucking VHS first beta max
[01:09:18] You know, that's not language France had a nice lead for a while well Greek first then French
[01:09:25] Then English basically what the world spoke French
[01:09:29] Yes, all the original the like fucking official shit was in French. Oh, yeah
[01:09:39] Feel like French was like the big the big boy for right before English
[01:09:44] Yeah, it was like the official language in Latin
[01:09:48] Mean Latin and then French. Yeah, what shit is in French?
[01:09:52] I don't know. I feel like big papers and shit Corvette Corvette
[01:10:08] I feel like people signed French Stewart
[01:10:13] Yeah, I'm gay. Is that is that Adam's beat us?
[01:10:21] He was a Chinese white man with the world's only Chinese white man. Well, he was just doing it really offensive. I
[01:10:27] Can't see Adam's penis. Yeah, what the fuck was how did that guy have a career like going?
[01:10:33] What was the first audition he went into where somebody was like, oh, yeah?
[01:10:37] Oh, this is yeah, this spastic fucking retard doing this weird face
[01:10:45] Yeah, and he like has to do that face all the time
[01:10:50] I mean if you look if you look at a regular picture of him. He looks like he doesn't look like that
[01:10:55] It's the only shit he got hot for third rock from the Sun. I think so
[01:11:02] Was he ever in like a big movie his room name is Milton
[01:11:10] For sure his last name is French Stewart
[01:11:18] Just like that damn Cedric the entertainer
[01:11:21] You expect me to believe that's his last name
[01:11:25] Dude, fuck French Stewart. What the fuck has he been in dude?
[01:11:29] I guess he's in leaving Las Vegas. I don't remember that is he
[01:11:34] He's married to some lady named Vanessa
[01:11:36] He's just Michael's Navy which I which I might do a double feature
[01:11:41] I would like to rew up to the kills Navy and down periscope
[01:11:45] I was yeah, that's a great parent. Yeah, that's a great double. Hell. Yeah, dude
[01:11:51] Oh, yeah, your scoping is be sure. I know I look at this podcast now is just fucking like an hour of
[01:11:58] Struggling to barely string together a sentence and then being like dude. I'm you know what I'm watching fluke and then Beethoven three
[01:12:08] I need a handful of pickles. I put pickles on a food scale. There you go. Yeah one of these days. I'm gonna feel happiness
[01:12:16] I'm gonna know what once these numbers are right
[01:12:21] You better believe I'm gonna know what happiness feels like pal you'll probably feel good
[01:12:26] What the end of the diet we get to eat yeah, I'll take a couple weeks of leveling out, you know get my shit
[01:12:33] Now you look cute. Yeah, because I'm your penis look bigger. I'm ready. Oh, yeah
[01:12:38] But it's because my fucking legs of like they're just
[01:12:42] I mean I looked I looked terrible from the waist down
[01:12:45] My dick looks huge, but I mean my legs are my legs are just
[01:12:50] It's abysmal. I look like a chimpanzee. I look like that nude chimp
[01:12:55] Why you have skinny hairy legs that hairless chimp. Oh, yeah, I'm pretty hairy
[01:12:58] But yeah, just wasting away ready to go to the beach
[01:13:08] And then I get out of my car and I go swimming and I get back in my car and I leave
[01:13:13] Yeah, no sitting no sitting at the beach. I don't want any nowhere. I don't want any sand in my tight ass
[01:13:20] You don't want to pack your asshole full of sand. I just don't want any
[01:13:23] Heart horrific sand getting into my ass. So I was looking for a place I could stand
[01:13:29] The lifeguard psyche. I don't know how to help you
[01:13:32] What if what if you put a butt plug in your ass? Yeah
[01:13:37] You think you would float more if I put a butt plug in my ass
[01:13:41] I don't know. I like how that help boys. I'm so if I tilt the microphone a certain way
[01:13:45] It disappears sort of but it gives it like a cartoon look
[01:13:48] And then it's cool because it makes me feel like I'm in who framed Roger Rabbit. Yeah, I don't
[01:13:55] Oh, there he is. Yep. Yeah, it's not working
[01:13:59] Well, you gotta be you gotta have it against the backdrop anyways, you got anything to plug
[01:14:06] Just fucking check out my fucking twitch show style you solve your problems friday at sick today saturday
[01:14:12] Yeah, wednesday. Lewis is Lewis is booking shit on the road
[01:14:15] Really? Yeah, he's starting to book for when for august
[01:14:23] God damn. Yeah, I might try to book. I just to like fucking you know, fuck it. Just do it
[01:14:29] I don't think i'm gonna be doing that. Actually, this is gonna be open. Yeah, I guess you found places
[01:14:34] Yeah, I mean just try it out. So it happens. Maybe utah new mexico
[01:14:40] South Dakota. I'm gonna wait on that. I'm gonna do a show. I'm gonna do a show
[01:14:43] I'm gonna do a show in bismarck, south, dakota. We get all the boys out
[01:14:48] Yeah, they they never had a shutdown not shut down because they really there's nothing to shut down
[01:14:55] They had a really bad outbreak at a meat processing plant. Oh really?
[01:15:01] I heard texas got their asses fucked by a bunch of deaths or something
[01:15:05] Did they after they reopened they had the highest amount of deaths wouldn't it take two weeks to know
[01:15:14] Whatever i'm gonna wait on it, but I hope nothing bad happens so that I can get on the damn road
[01:15:18] Because I don't want to be in my fucking house. Yeah, and I want to get some pussy
[01:15:21] But go to twitch.tv slash stobby, baby stobby solves your problems every friday at six
[01:15:26] I do an art show with my little brothers. I do a fucking basketball pot. I do fucking yeah
[01:15:32] We should maybe we should try to change the format of the show where either I know I said interview people
[01:15:36] but maybe we should try to figure out some way to like
[01:15:40] Streaming something or gaming something different than like a conversation
[01:15:47] I don't know man. Maybe we get some I thought you're you were opposed to the idea of this really, but you were just shitting yourself there
[01:15:53] Oh, yeah. No, I was about to I just fucking let one for you. Yeah, I was like I was like let's change the format of the show and you're like
[01:16:02] Oh, I'm sorry that I make you shit yourself
[01:16:05] I suggest that we try something different
[01:16:09] Just some down. I don't give a save come town
[01:16:16] That's true are there girls listening right now those girls listening to try and figure out how to destroy the show
[01:16:22] If you're trying to figure out if you send your titties in a DM
[01:16:26] It'll self this into my DMS to be clear the show will self-destruct. All right folks
[01:16:31] Um, yeah, I got nude shirts if you want to check out check out the fucking shirt
[01:16:41] I guess maybe I don't know if there I think there is a live chat available on youtube streaming
[01:16:45] But these stream live on youtube and the link goes on to the patreon
[01:16:51] The patreon.com slash come town if you want to sign up. There's also just the audio podcast rss that gets bumped
[01:17:02] And uh if you're watching elsewhere on youtube which probably are because I don't know how to get people to watch shit on youtube
[01:17:13] Think about subscribing to our channel or not. I mean, I don't know what the fucking benefit is
[01:17:19] Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I mean, it's like
[01:17:21] It's like should I care it's like well now somebody else is doing the work and people are watching it. So who gives a shit?
[01:17:28] Honestly, it's like you should just be watching the best of clips from the show from three from three years ago
[01:17:35] Why don't we just do that? Why don't we play the clips?
[01:17:39] While we listen we should I should just start stealing the content of the show back
[01:17:48] We should just do that just start screen sharing other people's compilations
[01:17:51] It is laughing. I was like oh shit. I remember that
[01:17:57] An animation some artistic guys spent 15 like years on just making like doing shorties watching shorties
[01:18:09] Stealing back dude. That's how we do this. All right. It's called street justice. Well, folks
[01:18:14] Thanks for hanging enjoy this beautiful sunday afternoon and we'll see you on wednesday