Cum Town | Premium | 05/25/2020
[00:00:01] Nice to see you fucking pieces of shit.
[00:00:03] I fell asleep like 30 minutes ago without expecting to.
[00:00:09] You should've seen me and Nick were chatting pre-zoom.
[00:00:15] One of those surprise naps where your blood sugar gets all fucked up.
[00:00:20] The same man comes and sucks your little dick
[00:00:24] I gotta, like, at some point, I'll say I'll try to find something funny to say.
[00:00:34] I got the water hot for it, but then we hit three o'clock
[00:00:40] If you need me to fucking fill some time, I got...
[00:00:43] I know, look, the show's been struggling, so I had to do my part
[00:00:51] So if you ever need me to kill time, I have something I can do now.
[00:01:00] on how to get in your mouth fucked by guys.
[00:01:05] And I opened up my mouth and I went to Glory Hole after Glory Hole.
[00:01:13] The gay club scene in downtown Shreveport.
[00:01:17] You know, and they're like, Mike, what...
[00:01:21] You brought the camera guy and you just like...
[00:01:24] The camera guy had to watch me get my mouth fucked.
[00:01:29] You know, and he's just got like faces blurred out
[00:01:31] and he's like, what's going on in here?
[00:01:33] You know, he's just going into bathrooms.
[00:01:35] He's like, I went deep undercover to get to the bottom of Channel 7 investigate.
[00:01:41] Hey, man, why is there a fucking news camera here?
[00:01:46] There's a big shitty camera that takes entire VHS tapes.
[00:01:50] Yeah, why are their cameras still so big?
[00:01:54] The news is gay and I'm glad you finally said something.
[00:02:03] Hey, Fox 5, why don't you come lick my ass?
[00:02:09] It's funny, like, you know, just people that hate the media
[00:02:16] I have a hate mainstream media, but I adore local news broadcasts.
[00:02:22] It's because it hasn't got a corrupted brother.
[00:02:28] A new report on a billionaire pedophile, a private island where he has sex with them.
[00:02:35] Coming up after our traffic report, we're diving deep into the Jeffrey Epstein story tonight.
[00:02:59] The fuzzy, the TV was fuzzy on every channel except UPN was the clearest channel.
[00:03:09] You must, because you didn't grow up in a trashy neighborhood,
[00:03:11] but that means that's trash if UPN is the clearest one.
[00:03:15] No, but I mean, that just has to do with like broadcasting power.
[00:03:20] It goes by neighborhood by neighborhood.
[00:03:23] No, it's, it's, uh, yeah, it's like a radio.
[00:03:26] Like CBS was always fuzzy because I remember I never, I had never seen NBC.
[00:03:31] That's why I didn't watch SNL when I was, um, I mean, I did watch it here and there,
[00:03:38] My friend had to show me NBC because it's like, there's no point in watching those channels.
[00:03:43] Like Fox came in good, UPN came in good, WB came in good.
[00:04:09] Oh, it's me, the grand Duke of, of Dupree and I'm having sex with a dog.
[00:04:21] The mom coming home in the sun's dresses, the Count of Monte Cristo having sex with the
[00:04:29] It's got like a beret with a big feather on its head.
[00:04:33] Every episode of wishbone is just that kid in different costumes having sex with the dog.
[00:04:38] And the dog weren't, were in different costumes.
[00:04:50] What's the, you know, I get home every day and I say to Bailey, what's the story, dickbone?
[00:04:55] And we put her, we put her in her, her, her French Revolution costume.
[00:05:07] I put some marmalade on my pussy and he goes to town.
[00:05:19] What do you call it when somebody's not black, but they got a pussy?
[00:05:29] You know, when somebody's black, when it's okay, we got different types of this black and Jewish,
[00:05:41] She got a pussy of penis or she Chinese.
[00:05:45] Look, I'm just asking a simple question.
[00:05:48] I'm just trying to ask you a simple question here.
[00:05:54] That lady who was just in here, did she have a pussy?
[00:05:56] Did she have a pussy or was she Chinese or Jewish?
[00:06:00] I just noticed there was a lady leaving here earlier,
[00:06:02] was she Chinese or Latino because I might try to get some pussy if she was Chinese?
[00:06:08] Yeah, nah, I'm actually a batteries plus member.
[00:06:13] Yeah, that actually entitles us to knowing the race of all your other customers to have in sex with.
[00:06:18] You got to tell me, I got a firearm in my truck.
[00:06:22] Right out in the parking lot, I got a firearm.
[00:06:24] Someone sent me a picture, they're like, hey man, I built an 80% gun.
[00:06:28] And I'm like, I don't know what that is.
[00:06:29] And they just send me pictures of a gun.
[00:06:32] But apparently it's a type of gun where you can just order all the parts online.
[00:06:37] And then they sell like the, because if my guns are,
[00:06:40] my makes guns illegal is like the lower receiver, I guess.
[00:06:43] So they sell this thing that is either, I only time 100% what you're saying.
[00:06:48] But like you, like the bottom part of the gun comes like,
[00:06:52] you know, there's no hole for the trigger.
[00:06:56] And then they can sell the bottom part legally.
[00:07:01] And then there's room for the trigger and the rest of it,
[00:07:03] you can just buy from like gun parts stores.
[00:07:07] So he just has a gun and it's like, yeah, and it's 100% legal.
[00:07:12] And it's like, that's not the kind of law you want to fuck.
[00:07:17] Yeah, actually, it's a painting of a child sucking my penis.
[00:07:23] And I'm allowed to point it at people at the bank.
[00:07:29] Imagine if you're going to rob the bank a child pornography point.
[00:07:32] You're just like your hands covering where the penis is entering the baby.
[00:07:36] You're like, you put all the money in the bag.
[00:07:42] You don't want the ring finger to come up.
[00:07:47] I will show this child a baby being fucked.
[00:07:56] Unless you tell me the race of that lady that just left.
[00:08:05] Because she had a little like, oh shit.
[00:08:12] I moved my finger to make the Chinese eyes.
[00:08:16] I didn't mean to be showing you child porn.
[00:08:18] But you know, now that you looked at it,
[00:08:28] Let's go get a pussy from that Chinese lady.
[00:08:31] I'm just running up to the Chinese side.
[00:08:34] Now you've looked at child pornography.
[00:09:00] It looks like a siren was going off too.
[00:09:20] Don't even try and use a helicopter with your mouth.
[00:09:29] This is the rest, Nick, for being gay and having a little penis.
[00:09:56] Get out of the pocket and pull your penis out.
[00:10:04] Do not try and stink your penis to your own assholes.
[00:10:28] If I have to look for your penis, I'm shooting it off.
[00:10:38] We got the gayest man I ever seen in my life head here.
[00:10:42] I remember being in traffic court one time.
[00:10:45] And there was a guy who had fucking, who had like,
[00:10:50] I had some like, fuck it, like basically led the police on a wild chase
[00:10:54] and like smashed into the Jersey wall and all this shit.
[00:10:57] And he just showed up at traffic court and like,
[00:10:59] I don't know why it wasn't a criminal charge, but he's like, yeah,
[00:11:04] And like, the judge is like, all right, and just dismissed it.
[00:11:17] Hold on, I can do something else, Nick.
[00:11:32] Nick's dick is small. Nobody can see my penis unless they're a hot girl.
[00:11:57] You, your gay and your dick is small and I'll fuck your ass.
[00:12:08] Damn, I should have my own fucking radio show, dude.
[00:12:14] Nick doesn't have to know about this one, ready?
[00:12:39] This could just be, you could just have your own separate show that's just,
[00:12:45] Unfortunately, all I had was chamomile.
[00:12:53] concinated, man. Someone sent me, oh, you can't see it.
[00:12:56] You can't, it can't be seen, oh, too bad, disappearing.
[00:12:59] Guess you'll just have to go buy a shirt.
[00:13:04] Guess if the thing that was supposed to happen didn't happen,
[00:13:06] you have to go buy a shirt, that's the rule.
[00:13:31] Stinks like a man's ass which I now like to fuck.
[00:13:47] So I have no idea what to do now that I'm done with this diet.
[00:13:55] You should be out there having sex with men like you've always wanted.
[00:14:01] I don't know why I didn't have a record scratch on here.
[00:14:05] I haven't looked at everything this thing has but it has a lot, dude.
[00:14:09] I would love to go back in time and be an army officer, United States Army Intelligence
[00:14:16] And then when news is cycling through the organization about how many people died in
[00:14:21] the Holocaust just doing spit takes whenever anyone says, whenever anyone's describing
[00:14:29] They're like, yeah, they were gassing people.
[00:14:48] Damn, it really should have a Donald Duck on here, doesn't it?
[00:14:51] Hey, hey, hey, hey, I can do that a dick.
[00:14:57] My head that fucked this Donald Duck sound.
[00:15:15] It's just that it says it's the telephone.
[00:15:18] Yeah, I mean, I can do that with myself with just by changing my levels.
[00:15:26] That way, this will be fun because when Adam comes back, he won't have any opportunity
[00:15:41] Yeah, I know I have the echo on purpose.
[00:16:12] Welcome to the power of the intellectual mind production.
[00:16:20] I was going for like a gay ghost to compliment your deep voice guy.
[00:16:26] We should just get into like 30 style radio plays.
[00:16:33] Sometimes at the door, there's just a bunch of, there's always doors being knocked on.
[00:16:40] No one's, no one ever knocks on a door.
[00:16:44] And if radio plays, people are always like, whoo, time to go through another door.
[00:16:54] The bell was ringing and the kit and the dishes were getting thrown.
[00:17:01] They had a lot of bells just doing this.
[00:17:07] These are the biggest things in the world's lowest budget radio play.
[00:17:46] I think it all came through the voice mod thing.
[00:17:51] I'm trying to be a mister technological.
[00:17:54] Me and this computer are going to merge one day, dude.
[00:18:09] The house or cards is falling apart with the lockdown thing.
[00:18:14] Dude, I'm just trying to get out there.
[00:18:17] Did you see the pictures of Ocean City this weekend?
[00:18:22] I ain't fucking staying in a fucking house.
[00:18:25] And then they're going to open the beaches in New York too.
[00:18:30] I think it's three weeks ago, every liberal dumbass, it was like opening the beaches is murder.
[00:18:39] And then this time it's like, well, you know, the data?
[00:18:43] I don't understand why they are flipping that hard.
[00:18:46] Listen, I hope it opens and I hope nothing happens so I can get back to getting closer.
[00:18:51] They're flipping that hard because they were wrong.
[00:18:53] And it's like, it can't be any more clear.
[00:19:00] Everyone that said there was a reason to lock down is wrong.
[00:19:05] I don't know that I'm willing to go that far, but-
[00:19:10] If there's no second wave, I'm so happy.
[00:19:14] It would be- I'm going to be pissed if it's like, damn, we just- all of our lives were ruined for nothing.
[00:19:27] I was supposed to have been in Europe and shit.
[00:19:31] We were going to be in Australia for Greek Easter.
[00:19:32] We probably would have been having fucking lamb with some fucking Australian motherfuckers.
[00:19:37] Like 37 million people out of work now?
[00:19:41] Oh, we can see the mug now, what did it say?
[00:19:49] I'm getting all the FUDRUCKER's merch in the mail.
[00:20:04] Curry, I've been making a lot of curries.
[00:20:06] If you have any curry paste, you can mail me that's really good.
[00:20:13] Cause this thing, I'm technically off the diet, but I still just, I mean, I'm off the diet
[00:20:17] I still have like, I'm trying to go back up to eating a maintenance.
[00:20:22] And I'm so used to eating that restricted diet that I bought.
[00:20:24] I'm like, I'm going to make breakfast and I'm like fucking everything up because...
[00:20:28] It's like, okay, well I made my eggs and now I need, like I have to go get regular bacon now
[00:20:32] because I have turkey bacon and you can't get enough.
[00:20:34] No, you weren't even having that regular shit.
[00:20:37] Dude, my breakfast was like three eggs and then another like, like 200 grams of fucking egg whites.
[00:20:45] And then a couple of slices of turkey bacon.
[00:20:50] I've did a lot of vegetables, but I'm going back to fruit.
[00:20:55] I was, but it's just like, you're hungry all the time.
[00:20:58] So like, the vegetables, broccoli is a fucking lifesaver.
[00:21:02] If you're just trying to like get those, like, you know, keep the carb calories down.
[00:21:09] Listen, I've been, I've been dipping my toes in my fitness pal trying to get, I may have
[00:21:13] gained 35 pounds during quarantine, so I'm trying to maybe kind of cut that down a little bit.
[00:21:23] Maybe you could have called me fucking Pitbull.
[00:21:25] I might have been Mr. 305 at one point during quarantine.
[00:21:29] Which refers to his weight and not everybody knows about Pitbull.
[00:21:35] It's just a bunch of fat children that are fucking pissed when they meet Pitbull because
[00:21:42] I love those pictures of him getting hard on stage.
[00:21:49] He's getting hard while dancing with him.
[00:21:52] A fucking fame, multi-millionaire pop star famous gets as much pussy in the world as anyone
[00:22:00] And this man is getting hard like a 13 year old teenager on stage.
[00:22:07] One of my friends told me a story about how he was in, where the fuck was he like, Thailand
[00:22:13] He went there like to surf or something.
[00:22:15] And he got fucked up, got into a car accident or like a moped accident.
[00:22:20] And they took him to, he like was super funny.
[00:22:25] And he like came to, he was losing a lot of blood.
[00:22:27] And he like woke up and the nurse was like the hottest woman he's ever seen in his life.
[00:22:32] Like just like some lady, some like stacked like porn looking nurse, but actually was
[00:22:38] And she gave him a sponge bath and he was hard as fuck the whole.
[00:22:52] Now I want to die in a motorcycle accident.
[00:22:56] It's a hard as shit to a healthcare professional looking at his stiff penis.
[00:23:02] And do you think she only does the baths?
[00:23:04] Yeah, she only does that's that's one of the perks.
[00:23:08] She went to the medical school and the chief of surgery medicine at the hospital school
[00:23:15] was like, he looked at her and he's like, right, your job is going to be bathing people.
[00:23:38] Yeah, I saw some Twitter thread from some girl that was like, yeah, raise your hand if
[00:23:41] when you went to go get like fucking, you know, breast augmentation.
[00:23:49] Some girl describing going to get breast augmentation or like have her breast reduced
[00:23:52] as a teenager and the doctor only brought her down to like a D cup, even though she wanted
[00:24:01] She gave her a surgery and he was like, you're going to thank me.
[00:24:15] And like, she's telling this story, but like we're supposed to be against the doctor,
[00:24:18] but it's like, yeah, it's like, and I'm proud to be an American, because at least I.
[00:24:26] I tell you that girl's going to be in a bar somewhere.
[00:24:29] Yeah, the place called Texas bar and grill in a strip mall.
[00:24:38] With that like green carpeting that like very like the offers, no cushion and wall of wall
[00:24:43] carpeting does dartboard and cores light shit on the walls.
[00:24:49] She's going to tell some guy and he said, I'd understand when I was older and I did.
[00:25:07] Break every like that's got to be against the law on some level.
[00:25:12] Just not doing a surgery differently than the person wanted.
[00:25:32] Why don't you let the professionals make these kinds of decisions?
[00:26:13] You know how the chef eats a little bit of every meal?
[00:26:19] The rest, how does he know how the titties are going to look?
[00:26:38] The mom's like, you said we'd save money by going to a French doctor.
[00:27:08] Happy fucking, by the way, Ramadan's over.
[00:27:12] Eid Mubarak to my mother fucking Muslim brotherhood and sisterhood.
[00:27:21] I got a salute to the Muslims for that one.
[00:27:27] They fucking, they do intermittent fasting, bro.
[00:27:36] We do is not eat meat on Fridays and fucking Wednesdays.
[00:27:40] No one actually gives anything up for eventually they just stop trying to see that Mark Wahlberg video this year.
[00:27:47] It's like, how you doing everybody for Lent this year?
[00:27:55] It's like, are you supposed to get something off?
[00:28:01] You're supposed to fast hard a shit, but no one even does it.
[00:28:08] But the Lord was out there in the desert, dude, getting tempted by Satan.
[00:28:13] He's getting, he's being made, he's fucking trying to suck God's dick, taking all kinds of different forms,
[00:28:18] never, and telling them about kingdoms and shit.
[00:28:21] He could give him and he never said no.
[00:28:25] So my five week goal now is like, I'm doing a shit ton of like T-spine mobility.
[00:28:30] Because my upper back is like badly inflexible.
[00:28:33] Like it always kind of rounded, but now in the last like year it's gotten like really fucking bad.
[00:28:39] From just using the phone and like sitting at the computer all day long.
[00:28:46] The problem with downward dog, my hamstrings are tight also.
[00:28:48] So when I bend over, my upper back compensates by like really, like there's like, I look humpbacked.
[00:28:53] So I can touch my toes, but if I take a picture of it, it's like my back looks fucking horrific.
[00:28:59] So I got to stretch everything out, but I said, I got like a, just like a little yoga block to stretch my upper back on.
[00:29:07] And I sat on that for a while this morning, but my upper back is so tight.
[00:29:11] So you sit on it and you just fucking go like this?
[00:29:15] You put the block like right at your lawn bar spot.
[00:29:20] I love doing your chest up and I just stay on that for like, but it, my upper back is so fucked up that like when the two minutes is up or three minutes is up.
[00:29:31] Like I can't, I have to like peel myself off the thing and just shift to the side.
[00:29:41] Like it makes me feel like I have like my shit's fucked up, dude.
[00:29:46] Just from tech, just from being on your phone.
[00:29:49] So I mean, a lifetime of sitting at the fucking computer.
[00:29:53] And it was already kind of shitty posters cursed.
[00:29:56] It was already kind of shitty, but now where it's like, cause I never had an office job, you know, at least be like on my feet, you know, working at a place. But since, you know, the podcast, it's like, I fucking don't stand up. I got a wheelchair from my apartment.
[00:30:11] I'm walking around for time going around apartment pretending to be professor X.
[00:30:33] It's just professor, professor X in a room with I call the male X man.
[00:30:37] He's like, they call it Jean Grey, but they should call it Jean Red if you've seen a pussy.
[00:30:43] She's like, what are you guys talking about?
[00:30:46] And then she's like, oh, I guess I'll just read one of their minds.
[00:30:49] And he's like, ah, and then they're just like battling to fucking like.
[00:30:57] Yeah, he's like, he's just like pretending to be fucking Cyclops is mine.
[00:31:02] She's like talking about the Empire State Building, huh?
[00:31:07] And then she's like, I guess I'll just maybe read Wolverine's mind.
[00:31:11] And then she tries with their battling so hard.
[00:31:14] She's like making all of the guys retarded.
[00:31:17] They're giving like the severe brain damage.
[00:31:23] Yeah, he ruins every X man's mind just so she wouldn't find out.
[00:31:41] And you must admit your pussy is remarkably red.
[00:31:45] I was I made the assumption that you had red pubes.
[00:31:51] Hopefully we can move past this and just focus on the real problem,
[00:31:55] which is stopping Magneto from being reelected in 2020.
[00:32:02] I'm not saying it isn't sexual assault.
[00:32:05] I'm saying that there are more important things to deal with.
[00:32:17] Did that video Joe Biden fucking just don't vote for me if you don't know which one the black.
[00:32:22] If you don't vote for me, then you ain't black.
[00:32:29] And not only that he said don't vote for if you don't vote for me, you ain't black.
[00:32:32] And then the week before he had the one we was like, well, if you believe Terry, don't vote for me.
[00:32:36] He's just telling black people and anyone who.
[00:32:44] He said, if you believe her, don't vote for me.
[00:32:49] He didn't even say it's he didn't politics his way out of it.
[00:32:51] He just said straight up basically called her a liar, dude.
[00:32:54] Yeah, which is funny because it's like that's closer to the way Donald Trump acts.
[00:32:58] Which like that does work for Donald Trump, but Joe Biden doesn't have that kind of base, you know?
[00:33:08] He doesn't have the sauce Donald has that doesn't will about his the man's policies.
[00:33:13] That doesn't work on the like vote balloon no matter who people.
[00:33:18] In fact, it has like the opposite effect.
[00:33:20] Whereas Republicans will always vote for a Republican and if like, you know, I mean, Donald Trump said it.
[00:33:28] He was like, I could shoot somebody in the middle of fucking life.
[00:33:32] He understands politics way better than Nancy Pelosi's dumb ass.
[00:33:36] I'm cleaning all the blood out of my AirPods case.
[00:33:55] Yeah, I should do I should do something about it.
[00:33:58] I had a weird I had like an infected hair in my beard that I had to like it was like it felt like it didn't grow in hair, but it grew out already.
[00:34:05] And any time I touched it, it was like really painful.
[00:34:08] And I was like, it felt like maybe a pimple next to it.
[00:34:11] But then I like just pulled the hair out and the end of the hair was like four times the size of a normal hair.
[00:34:19] It was just like lodged into your shit.
[00:34:21] Yeah, it was just like curled back in and on itself and like calcified.
[00:34:32] You are getting more powerful in a demonic way.
[00:34:41] What if I finally willed myself in the growing antlers?
[00:34:43] That dude, if you start if you come out with these little baby sprouts, I would respect you all.
[00:34:59] So I guess I'm just going to go eat blueberries in the woods.
[00:35:02] What are you guys doing this afternoon?
[00:35:05] Oh, I would be hanging out with your families.
[00:35:08] Yeah, I'm going to go take little BB size shit out in the woods.
[00:35:14] Honestly, I wouldn't even put it past you finding some strange way to get like extra calcium to deposit at the top of your head and figuring it out.
[00:35:24] Well, that was the first like episode or one of the episodes.
[00:35:34] Yeah, that one was almost as good as the animated series.
[00:35:47] But yeah, that one was fucking awesome.
[00:35:50] No, one of the like episodes in the first season because I watched that show when it premiered.
[00:35:59] But I remember because I was old enough to be like, yeah, I'm watching a new show.
[00:36:05] There's a new show coming out and I'm going to check it out.
[00:36:08] I'm going to actually be watching something new.
[00:36:11] Yeah, just kind of something news on my radar.
[00:36:19] Let's see when Batman Beyond came out 1999.
[00:36:32] Also, the guy, the new guy Bruce was hot.
[00:36:56] No, you know, he had like a biker gang of clowns.
[00:36:59] Oh shit, there's a return to the Joker.
[00:37:09] I might have to watch all Batman Beyond, brother.
[00:37:21] It's actually that girl, Sarsi, however the fuck is Sarsi.
[00:37:31] It's like a Chinese guy trying to say sexy.
[00:38:00] Anyway, you should watch that movie Hannah.
[00:38:03] It's half action movie and half of the weirdest, like, most bizarre movie I've ever seen in my fucking life.
[00:38:09] Every adult in that thing is either a pedophile or like, has pedophile vibes or has sex trafficker vibes?
[00:38:16] But Sarsi is very good at it and she's like a little badass assassin.
[00:38:23] Yeah, I'm trying to get more information on the Batman Beyond Jover.
[00:38:30] There was definitely a big biker contingent in that, like cyber biker thing.
[00:38:35] I'm looking at a picture here where, what's her face?
[00:38:43] The gang was called the Joker's with the Z and they all had like cyber bikes.
[00:38:48] Shane Gillis told me to play some, some total war game.
[00:38:53] It was like a strategy game and I kind of want to get into that.
[00:39:04] The Total War Three Kingdoms is the Chinese one.
[00:39:08] Dude, I've heard, I think my little brother told me about that.
[00:39:21] Yeah, I guess I should get into computer games.
[00:39:26] It seems like a thing you would be into.
[00:39:32] Yeah, but I've always had like, I've never had a gaming computer.
[00:39:37] When I had the money for nice computers, I started buying Macs and they're not good for gaming.
[00:39:49] Now I want to get high and play Lego Indiana Jones too.
[00:39:57] My roommate who's been, he's been subletting.
[00:40:03] So, you know, I got fucked up for the kids 30th.
[00:40:05] I was fucking sucking off those claws and getting high as shit.
[00:40:14] And we got a random motherfucker to sublet.
[00:40:25] He's not somebody that listens to the show.
[00:40:32] Or he's lying to me, which would be even worse.
[00:40:36] If he's been like some kind of sociopath that's been like, oh, I've never even.
[00:40:42] If there's a Kaiser Sosie moment when he moves out, I'm going to kill myself.
[00:40:47] But I think he's like maybe, like I think he's a comedy fan or something.
[00:40:54] And we ended up getting quarantined together.
[00:40:57] And so, you know, I got fucked up and got stoned to shit and played Bordeaux.
[00:41:02] No, I don't really, I started, I picked up Death Stranding.
[00:41:13] It's like four and a half hours of credits.
[00:41:15] You think the credits are over and then it's like, you're, you're, oh, I guess I'm not
[00:41:21] I guess it's another 45 minutes of like movie happening.
[00:41:25] Like here's Guillermo del Toro and a special guest starring role.
[00:41:33] You don't get a gun until like 20 hours in shut was playing that shit.
[00:41:38] Games like that are, you know, not one of the best games I ever played was the original
[00:41:45] And the sense of like, like scope and like open ended fucking rainy space opera bullshit.
[00:41:54] Dude, and you can get pussy in that one, right?
[00:41:57] Yeah, but for the most, not the first one.
[00:41:59] The first one is mostly like just fucking figuring out how rude you can be to aliens to get information
[00:42:04] out of them, which is what appeals to me about it.
[00:42:09] It's just so funny too, because you can mix like the nice and mean responses in the original
[00:42:17] And it's like, tell me more about this shadow broker, you know, and they're like, well, the
[00:42:24] Known for his knowledge of information around the galaxy.
[00:42:27] If you want to know something, you blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:42:30] And it's like, thanks a lot for that information.
[00:42:33] At any time you'd like to stop by my shop and then you can select the shut up option.
[00:42:46] Yeah, that actually had that appeal to you, man.
[00:42:49] That's the way that's the way you live your life.
[00:42:52] Once you get the info, shut the fuck up.
[00:42:57] I wish I could go back and play the original Mass Effect.
[00:43:00] I'm sure they did a remaster or something.
[00:43:06] And I thought for a while, because I used to do it with like Nintendo 64 games or like
[00:43:10] PlayStation two games and you go back and play them and you think like, oh, it's because
[00:43:16] But no, it's just like, yeah, the moment's gone.
[00:43:23] Dude, there's so much intangible shit that you love.
[00:43:26] Like, you can see a movie and a time in your life and it sucks you off.
[00:43:31] And then you go back, you're like, what the fuck?
[00:43:39] And it's crazy because then I think about like how fucking good a game has to be to make
[00:43:42] Like, there probably would be nothing I care for more in my life than Red Dead Redemption
[00:43:56] It said I was playing it on the stream and like, there's something to just playing a
[00:44:01] game without having to entertain anyone and just zoning in for like eight hours at a time
[00:44:06] that I wasn't getting the opportunity to do.
[00:44:07] I was playing it because I started playing it when we got back from Australia the first
[00:44:13] That's when I came out while we were there.
[00:44:15] And then I was like horrifically depressed.
[00:44:18] Like I would just fucking like sit in the living room and play Red Dead Redemption until
[00:44:24] And I remember we would do the show while playing Red Dead.
[00:44:28] Dude, just just camping in the woods and hunting and oh yeah, it feels awesome.
[00:44:36] Just feeding yourself off the land, nothing but you and a couple arrows.
[00:44:41] Nothing but you and your apartment and your PlayStation 4.
[00:44:45] And you're pretending the horse that you have to brush.
[00:44:48] You pretend horse that you have a better relationship with than any living breathing thing in the
[00:44:54] My girlfriend's just in the other room crying.
[00:44:57] And then it's just like, yeah, I'm not.
[00:45:09] There should be more of like brutal native scalping DLC for those games.
[00:45:14] Blood Meridian DLC or play like like community mod of Red Dead.
[00:45:29] If anyone knows how to do that and they can fucking hack Red Dead Redemption 2 to make
[00:45:34] They make it more brutal where you get killed more in the edge.
[00:45:37] Just go down to Mexico and scalping people in Mexican towns to hand in their scalps to
[00:45:44] Damn, is that what happened to Bloomberg?
[00:45:50] Well, the kid joins that gang, the Gleason gang, I forget the name of it, but they get
[00:45:55] yeah, they get contracted by the Mexican government to scalp like command cheese or whatever.
[00:46:01] And you know, they get money per scalp.
[00:46:03] So they're just going into like Mexican towns and killing everyone.
[00:46:08] Taking the scaps and like just turning them in like Chuck E Cheese tokens.
[00:46:13] Let me get the Dracula teeth after I kill that Mexican family.
[00:46:18] I'm going to get the bouncy ball, the Dracula teeth.
[00:46:20] Yeah, I got a little spider ring from killing a Mexican family.
[00:46:31] Yeah, I never played online because that's the thing.
[00:46:37] The appeal of the game is that there's a special relationship between me and Arthur.
[00:46:41] And then you go online, there's all these other people that also know Arthur.
[00:46:44] It's like being an Apollo universe relationship is disgusting.
[00:46:53] It really is like the end of the movie, her.
[00:47:00] Well, yeah, all the AI is linked in their inner relationship with a billion people and
[00:47:05] Yeah, everyone has to come to terms of fact that they're all like just in love with computers
[00:47:12] So, so every so damn and he jacks, he sees his cock and shit.
[00:47:17] I saw that in theaters and I don't really remember much about it.
[00:47:25] I would never fall in love with a computer.
[00:47:27] I would need some flesh and blood titties attached.
[00:47:29] I wouldn't even fall in love with a woman.
[00:47:32] I think that's I think they're a type of computer.
[00:47:50] I just let it fart out and it was it was close.
[00:47:55] I've shoot myself twice during quarantine.
[00:47:59] That's a Henry Rollins was in Batman beyond.
[00:48:03] It's so funny that Henry Rollins is like, you know, he just does whatever now.
[00:48:09] He's like, hey, Henry Rollins here for fucking EL Fudge.
[00:48:13] I mean, it's not that far, but you know, how mainstream of a figure, Henry Rollins.
[00:48:21] And he like, it's his weird spoken word is what I don't understand.
[00:48:26] I mean, I guess I respect those guys because they don't even pretend like it's stand up
[00:48:29] They're just like, come see me talk for an hour.
[00:48:34] But I guess people just want to go see a guy they know.
[00:48:38] That's why people come to when we go on tour.
[00:48:42] I mean, that's it's literally this is what we're doing right now.
[00:48:45] It's like, yeah, it's like that's a weird form of entertainment is a guy that just says
[00:48:51] things, but he happens to it's not even funny.
[00:48:56] It's just talking, but then also, but let's remove the element where any of it's pre written.
[00:49:03] I think at the part where there's effort that goes.
[00:49:09] Just a couple of guys broadcasting like, well, you know what I should do is buy it is by
[00:49:18] It's not like it's not like there's no effort.
[00:49:22] This is the fucking police in your game.
[00:49:25] I will make you show me your pussy on the police.
[00:49:31] And he's not allowed to pretend to be the police, sir.
[00:49:37] I'm not see that's not the kind of, it's not restrictions are put on me.
[00:49:47] Some writer was her family was sex trafficking people.
[00:49:53] Yeah, which by the way, how fucked up is it that she's not Italian?
[00:50:00] I thought for sure that was an Italian doing some racist and I was excited to blame Italians
[00:50:09] Fulfinos are wild with like just fucking, because there was that Atlantic writer.
[00:50:14] I don't give a shit, but there was that fucking Atlantic guy a couple of years ago that wrote
[00:50:19] that thing and say, yeah, my family had a slave.
[00:50:28] Yeah, and then it's like all these fucking Asian people defending it.
[00:50:32] My favorite part was they're like, you don't understand.
[00:50:35] Wonka-boopoo or whatever the fuck their dumb word for a slave is.
[00:50:38] It translates more to something like grandma or something.
[00:50:41] It's like, yeah, Mammy, we have the same.
[00:50:47] It's built into the language to not make them feel bad about having a slave.
[00:50:52] Second, what's your word for slave then?
[00:50:55] They're like, oh, we don't, there's no word.
[00:51:04] And then the guy died like right when the article came out.
[00:51:14] That fucking ghost, that ghost slave came back from the grave and it's busters.
[00:51:20] Starring George Clooney is Michael Busters.
[00:51:22] CIA agent who has to go have sex with Middle Eastern men.
[00:51:27] I'm sure it's claimed with his eyebrows raised.
[00:51:30] You're going to come meet me in my hotel room in 15 minutes?
[00:51:42] I did Matt and Shane show and I brought up Michael Clayton and I said, what's that movie
[00:51:49] Well, I like bringing stuff up and then there's no context for it and I also don't know
[00:51:57] My friend tried to show me a trailer of it and all I realized the director was that
[00:52:02] guy with the curly hair and I didn't realize that guy was a director.
[00:52:09] Was that the director of Michael Clayton?
[00:52:28] Michael Clayton is about like a lawyer that's done, he's done something gay.
[00:52:36] I didn't realize Sidney Pollack was also the, I mean, I realized Sidney Pollack was a
[00:52:39] director but I didn't realize that guy that's in movies is also the director Sidney Pollack.
[00:52:50] I know that name but I didn't realize he was an actor too.
[00:52:54] He did the firm and, yeah, what the fuck else was he in that I saw him in?
[00:53:08] He didn't say that he had a Lumet like, old as shit.
[00:53:28] Anyways, Michael Clayton, what am I thinking?
[00:53:37] I guess I must know him from, because I'm looking at all these movies and I don't think I've
[00:54:13] I remember when we were kids, people were like, he's the sexiest man in the world.
[00:54:18] And you're a child and you're not gay, so you're like, I guess.
[00:54:28] Yeah, I guess I don't know why he's the sexiest.
[00:54:34] I just clicked on his Wikipedia page and just scrolled for a second and stopped and where
[00:54:40] it landed was Armenian genocide is a subsection on George Clooney.
[00:54:46] Clooney supports the recognition of the Armenian genocide.
[00:54:52] And he's too, he's like that 90s era celebrity where they got like really ridiculous with
[00:54:59] They were right before the internet, right before shit splintered big time.
[00:55:03] Clooney is Clooney like Brad Pitt and those guys are the last like super famous.
[00:55:08] Everybody knows who the fuck they are types of guys.
[00:55:14] He supported both of Barack Obama's presidents.
[00:55:17] These are like the default celebrity opinions.
[00:55:20] Although Clooney has, I think Clooney has like a personal satellite that he tracks a, like,
[00:55:31] He literally has a satellite that he tracks like a guy.
[00:55:34] Look at this fucking picture of him in Barack Obama.
[00:55:39] Having fucking, having serious politics talk with Barack Obama.
[00:55:45] Yeah, he's doing, he's doing this move.
[00:55:51] That's such a weird way to do your finger, dude.
[00:55:57] In March, 2007, he sent an open letter to German Chancellor Angela Merkel calling on the European
[00:56:04] Union to take decisive action in the region to give him the failure of Sudanese president
[00:56:10] Omar Al-Beshir to respond to UN residents.
[00:56:13] Just like fucking enjoy your boat, you stupid bitch.
[00:56:20] So, let her do her fucking thing out in the garage or, you know, the-
[00:56:26] She can do her, she can do her little human rights lawyer thing in the greenhouse.
[00:56:30] Well, we're working on cars and talking about getting other pussy.
[00:56:37] So, you should be out there fucking shooting free throws.
[00:56:40] All this bitch wife handles the fucking suit.
[00:56:43] The George Clooney political views section.
[00:56:45] Because the titles are like Syria, you know, gun control.
[00:56:50] I wonder what George Clooney thinks about gun control.
[00:56:55] In 2018, following the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, the Clooney's pledged $500,000
[00:57:01] for the march for our lives and said, oh, so he doesn't like guns.
[00:57:08] I wonder what could George Clooney possibly be?
[00:57:20] On March 28, 2019, Clooney wrote an open letter calling for the boycott of the Sultan of Brunei's
[00:57:25] hotels over a new law that came into force on April 3rd that punishes homosexual sex
[00:57:37] Also, the Sultan of Brunei is a guy that's still alive.
[00:57:39] Who are the people going around that are just like fucking like, yeah, I'm not staying at
[00:57:43] any of the Sultan of Brunei's hotels anymore because George Clooney doesn't like him.
[00:57:49] I was about to go over to Ocean where the Sultan of Brunei got a new hotel where they give
[00:57:55] I've seen Ocean 13 and the guy from that told me not to.
[00:57:58] Looking into the Akano Lodge in Trenton with the prostitute being like, yeah, real quick.
[00:58:06] Because I saw a dot head coming out before her hand.
[00:58:08] I want to make sure because I'm on a George Clooney plan.
[00:58:12] I didn't know if the guy I seen come in here was the Sultan of Brunei's cousin or what.
[00:58:15] I saw a guy with a fucking turban coming in here.
[00:58:18] That dot head that was coming in here earlier is that that's Sultan of Brunei because George
[00:58:22] Clooney said, we supposed to be fucking with a Sultan of Brunei.
[00:58:28] The guy who owns this, he ain't the Sultan of Brunei.
[00:58:30] I know he, I know he could be wearing turbans, but that ain't no Sultan, right?
[00:58:35] I was told that the Aladdin of Bruno Mars owns this place and that we're supposed to be
[00:58:40] pissed off at him because Danny Ocean said so.
[00:58:47] Danny Ocean told me I'm supposed to be pissed off.
[00:58:54] Yo, the solub, but not unknown to Ravens, do he?
[00:59:01] I'm going to add a section to activism in public advocacy.
[00:59:10] What the fuck is the point of like putting that in there?
[00:59:13] Oh, George Clooney, you know, says the art.
[00:59:15] Well, this is clearly written by a fucking PR.
[00:59:18] This is the most PR written Wikipedia I've ever read in my life.
[00:59:26] Anybody who's the enemy of the Turks is my friend.
[00:59:33] Is it like the original young Turks were like Nazis?
[00:59:38] The original young Turks, I think like, I don't know.
[00:59:41] I think they took over the whole Ottoman Empire.
[00:59:44] They killed the motherfucker and then they took over everybody.
[00:59:51] I beyond don't know the answer to that question.
[00:59:58] Thank you so much for saying that, man.
[01:00:02] They got this dumb robot language that's fake.
[01:00:06] They're like Muslim, but like in a weird Canadian kind of way.
[01:00:13] They are the Canadians of the Muslim world.
[01:00:17] I can imagine if I was in Iran and some Turkish guy was like, yeah, Muslim.
[01:00:29] Do they really fuck this in the ass for a long time?
[01:00:34] We'll figure out who the fuck is Muslim.
[01:00:40] Because they got a lot of a lot of guy like Turkey's got a lot of guys that look ethnically
[01:00:44] white that are just have like sort of curly hair.
[01:00:49] Basically, Greeks and Turks are the same exact people, but just different religions if you
[01:00:57] I'm also pissed because it really hurts me to say this, but a lot of the best food is
[01:01:02] just Turkish food that Greek people have.
[01:01:06] The big that the Ottomans fucking she turbo cucked us and made us also love their food.
[01:01:13] I was saying this the other day on man James podcast so funny that Israel's like, oh, Israeli
[01:01:17] food is, you know, it's like, it's not such thing.
[01:01:22] There's no such thing as Israel and there's no such thing as Israeli food.
[01:01:29] That's all you need to know about Israel.
[01:01:32] It's like, it's really all you need to know about Israel is like the like, oh, well, the
[01:01:34] Jews have been here for thousands of years.
[01:01:36] And it's like, really, that's why their culture is just things they borrowed from the place
[01:01:42] That's not like there's not no discernible.
[01:01:48] Well, I mean, I guess they would the argument would be they've been there the whole time.
[01:01:56] It's like Texas people are like, we got the best tacos in Texas in California.
[01:02:06] Well, it's Mexicans making them in Texas.
[01:02:09] You go to this place and it's not like a guy that's like, welcome to the place.
[01:02:16] Like a Israeli guy be like, we make the best cool most.
[01:02:35] Probably a bunch of chicken and peanut butter.
[01:02:37] Classic little chicken peanut butter sandwich.
[01:02:46] I made fucking, I made a eggplant stir fry.
[01:02:54] I got to get, I got to get nice with the curries, man.
[01:02:59] I've been eating a lot of coconut milk and shit just in the curry.
[01:03:02] I dated a girl that was a chef at a Thai restaurant.
[01:03:15] Makes me want to tie off the base of my cock and fuck.
[01:03:25] Eldis had a fucking, some guy in his office, he's just the most closeted man of all time.
[01:03:30] And he would routinely go to Thailand by himself.
[01:03:36] There's something about the people there.
[01:03:47] It's like, bro, it's, you should be lying.
[01:03:56] You can't be a confirmed bachelor that loves Thailand.
[01:04:06] Make some tuna steak and have some eggplant.
[01:04:10] What are you just buying tuna steak at the grocery store?
[01:04:13] There's actually a really good fish market in the story.
[01:04:15] Damn, I got to start going to, there's fish markets in this neighborhood.
[01:04:21] Dude, honestly, there's a great butcher and a great fish market on my, on my block.
[01:04:26] I go, I wake up, I take like a 90 minute walk every day.
[01:04:29] And I just fucking hit the fish, hit the fucking, hit something fresh, try and cook something
[01:04:35] And then I go to a little tuna steak, bro.
[01:04:36] A little 30 minute marinade on a tuna steak with some soy sauce lime garlic, yeah.
[01:04:43] Just lemon and lemon soy sauce, a little garlic.
[01:04:47] You're fucking go and it only needs to be there for 30 seconds or 30 minutes.
[01:05:01] Everything is now nothing will sell out anymore.
[01:05:02] Everything had that had like rolling stock that was like there was things that had to
[01:05:07] sell out before they could be switched over to whatever system it is.
[01:05:17] I got to redesign the store itself so it doesn't look so shitty.
[01:05:25] Listen to tune into Stavi solves your problems.
[01:05:29] The call in show I do on Twitch Friday at six o'clock.
[01:05:35] We also have, we had Ian this week on it.
[01:05:39] It was really, it was a fucking great episode.
[01:05:41] We got to have Ian on this show actually.
[01:05:45] And yeah, I'm doing that shit on Twitch and you know, just, just look out for it.