Cum Town | Premium | 06/01/2020
[00:00:00] Damn, it's like there's like, there's, there's, there's so many fucking there's like nine steps.
[00:00:06] And the first couple of times it was like, Oh, I got this.
[00:00:09] But my problem is I just get worse at things.
[00:00:15] You're just like, yeah, I already did it once.
[00:00:20] Like I wore a condom in like 2005 one time.
[00:00:35] What do you want me to keep doing it for the rest of my fucking life?
[00:00:48] Dude, I might have to fucking disown you.
[00:01:06] I should change my background to just New York City, just burning.
[00:01:17] I mean, it's now slightly worse than it was.
[00:01:22] But dude, slightly worse is it was so fucking little dick it already.
[00:01:27] Like I've been fucked up, dude, because I was like, I was barely keeping it together.
[00:01:32] I'll eat broccoli and I'll go on walks.
[00:01:44] I was saying it's like the world is fucked up.
[00:01:50] I was laughing with Gillis because it's like, you know, he's up in Queens.
[00:01:55] And it's like, yeah, it's not unless like, you know, the embassy has all of its rubies stolen or something.
[00:02:09] There has not been like a demonstration or anything here that I can tell.
[00:02:14] Just a lot of Italians sitting outside.
[00:02:19] I went down to the Manhattan Bridge while I was being shut down last night.
[00:02:25] I mean, you know, I mean, you can just watch it online.
[00:02:28] It's really no better than watching it at home.
[00:02:38] A lot of people, a lot of guys that are like in their late thirties that are just they just spend their lives biting their time until they get to yell at police officers.
[00:02:49] They get to air their tweets at police officers.
[00:02:53] Oh, they're so yeah, they're mad because they got a DUI, but they're like this no justice, no peace.
[00:02:59] This is for yeah, this is for black people, not because I'm mad.
[00:03:03] You've been forced statutory rape laws at the book shows.
[00:03:08] The people that fled the city when Corona happened, like I thought that's the shitties you could get, you know, yeah, they transplant to fleas the city.
[00:03:15] But to be the guy that stayed just long enough to set part of the city on fire and then leaving.
[00:03:24] That's the guys that are in three weeks are going to be, you know, at home.
[00:03:31] It was about I did I served my time on the front lines.
[00:03:38] Did I send you that video of the there's one it's from like Newark or something.
[00:03:42] There's like white kids like throwing horse shit at a police car.
[00:03:47] And they're like fucking 20 or something.
[00:03:50] There's a black dude who's an adult who's like, what the fuck are you doing?
[00:03:54] She's like, you're going to walk away and then they're going to blame us.
[00:03:58] And then like, you know, just like a fucking 110 pound like, bro, understand, bro, bro, I understand what you say.
[00:04:04] And then in the frame, the evolutionary of the God bless you.
[00:04:08] Yeah, the charas are to his charm and the best part of the video.
[00:04:12] There's a white girl that's like, like just fucking exasperated and like walking away.
[00:04:18] And if you can see the moment she realizes her dad was right.
[00:04:28] I went to one of those protests and they are animals because they because they said what I was doing was wrong because I was told I wasn't allowed to do something.
[00:04:40] I was trying to smear dog shit all over a police car and I was lectured by a man twice my age who just doesn't want to who's actually suffered through it.
[00:04:49] Who doesn't want to get murdered by the police?
[00:04:55] The best way for that video to end is her calling the police and being like, there's an African American male threatening me in my dog's life.
[00:05:08] He told me I had to keep my dog on a leash.
[00:05:13] He told my boyfriend not to throw shit at cops.
[00:05:18] Having said that, I feel like the official stance for this podcast is.
[00:05:22] I mean, everyone in the police has a little penis.
[00:05:26] I mean, my nuance take is Black Lives Matter and also Corona is fake.
[00:05:32] I'm living in a very lonely world, but whatever.
[00:05:42] The slimmest circle in that Venn diagram.
[00:05:45] Which from my perspective, it should be the biggest piece if you could get everybody, because that's how you know, you want to have your stupid pretend revolution in your head.
[00:05:55] It's not going to happen unless you unite both the coronavirus is fake and the Black Lives Matter.
[00:06:03] You're going to have to go out there and start kissing people.
[00:06:06] That's who you're going to have to win over.
[00:06:08] I was thinking, was it going to go out and get like genie pants, get like genie pants and wear the Feds and big curly shoes and just like go to the protest be like, yeah, fuck the cops ride the government.
[00:06:21] You know, like clearly, people are like, who is this guy?
[00:06:49] No, I've been born and raised Minneapolis.
[00:07:09] With me and my mini, mini app, Polish friends.
[00:07:15] My family goes back here and many, many moons.
[00:07:22] My father, he was an iconography painter in Minneapolis.
[00:07:27] My father, he paint all icons in Minneapolis.
[00:07:36] Yeah, no, my family, they do all of the bath houses.
[00:07:39] They do the bath house, the tiles, the tiling, the mural.
[00:07:49] Like plane tickets coming out of my ass.
[00:07:52] Like plane, like boarding passes from Istanbul Airlines.
[00:08:30] It's just people being like, these are outside agitators.
[00:08:33] What is that, by the way, why do they think, they think people are coming in?
[00:08:37] It's inconsistent with the first claims of outside agitators because nothing, nobody, nobody knows what they think anymore.
[00:08:43] There's no discernible ideology to any of this.
[00:08:47] was initially from fucking Democrat saying that these were further left activists coming
[00:08:52] in and starting these protests. That that doesn't make any sense. Because it's like,
[00:08:58] Oh, it's people from out of state that think that police brutality is bad. You know, I
[00:09:04] mean, it's like it doesn't it doesn't also it's not like there aren't local. There's
[00:09:09] a fucking there's protest basically everywhere. Exactly. There's protests everywhere. It
[00:09:13] doesn't it doesn't it doesn't it's a wash. So then it's say what we were the guys who
[00:09:17] were making fun of earlier, that's part part of it. These fucking dumbasses that escalate
[00:09:21] and also the cops. The cops there's undercover cops to try to escalate things too. But then
[00:09:25] now that now it's shifted where it's like the all the all the escalation is being done
[00:09:29] by right wing sabotage groups, you know, which is like that's also retarded. Yeah, it's like
[00:09:35] this is we this is you don't have to explain this. It's like, yeah, this it totally makes
[00:09:41] sense. So anybody anybody that's engaging in any kind of analysis of the riots of them
[00:09:46] being either good or bad and not just like an event. There's only there's only one thing
[00:09:53] to look at is causality. It's not like is it good that people are writing or is it bad
[00:09:58] that people are writing? It doesn't matter. People are writing. So what led to that? And
[00:10:03] how can what's what's the appropriate way? It's either through institutions or I like
[00:10:09] what is the appropriate way to fix that so that it doesn't fucking happen. And so it's
[00:10:13] correctly analyzing the inputs. But like, you know, I mean, social media is nothing but
[00:10:18] people being like, is it good to people are writing or is it bad property isn't worth
[00:10:22] as much as and it's like this is a meaningless conversation. It really doesn't fucking matter.
[00:10:27] Yeah, I mean, I guess I just don't I don't understand why people are. Yeah, I just don't
[00:10:34] know all the theories. I mean, I guess, I guess to me, this conversation, I mean, I guess
[00:10:38] it's good, I think, because it's like, it's good to do something in the face of police
[00:10:43] brutality. But yeah, but ultimately you're not doing I mean, it's again, it's like the
[00:10:49] right there's no there's really no reason to to analyze the riots as if there's some
[00:10:54] kind of like prescriptive action or a solution. I should mean that there there there. It's
[00:10:59] a reaction that's sort of it's like it's basically like the thing is, it's like, you know, it's
[00:11:04] like if the cops were like fucking making their own fireworks in the police station,
[00:11:09] and you're like, don't do that. Your job is to protect people, stop making your own fireworks.
[00:11:14] Right. And then the fucking the city burned down because they if they were making their
[00:11:18] own fireworks, you wouldn't say, is it good that this happened? Is it bad? It's like,
[00:11:22] no, that's a consequence of this thing. You know, it's like, it's no there's no reason
[00:11:28] to analyze the riots is like, is this the solution? Because ultimately, it's like, no,
[00:11:34] it's not. I mean, if you like rationally, you understand that these riots aren't going
[00:11:38] to lead to an end of police brutality. I mean, you know, everybody's not going to be it's
[00:11:43] not going to be what one directly leads to the of course not. No, in fact, it's it's
[00:11:48] going to make it worse. It's it's like, like in the immediate, the immediate effect of
[00:11:53] it is that the police are going to enforce these laws backed up by three months of quarantine
[00:11:59] with like a complicit, you know, a population that thinks it's good that everybody gets
[00:12:04] locked inside and that we've been like building to martial law up until this point. I mean,
[00:12:09] it's yeah, there's yeah, you just really can't think of it. I mean, as much of it as you
[00:12:16] know, like the virus itself, is it good or bad that there's a fucking pandemic? It's
[00:12:20] like, well, that's bad. Well, it's it's bad, but it's like, it's not like it's a thing
[00:12:26] that's happening. It's like, will this pandemic fucking solve these issues in terms of health
[00:12:31] care or all of these other pressing issues? It's like it's a consequence of not being
[00:12:36] properly fucking prepared for such a thing. Yeah. No, I know. I know you mean, and yeah,
[00:12:41] you're right. It is getting worse in the short term in terms of like all these cops are fucking
[00:12:46] all these motherfuckers with Punisher tattoos are really getting their money's worth right
[00:12:49] now. They're just fucking people up. Yeah. Socks. Like, like, they're just hat you know,
[00:12:58] they're happy to be fucking taking Billy clubs to motherfuckers. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
[00:13:05] of course, they suck. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I hate this shit. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing,
[00:13:11] there's really nothing you can even fucking say about it. I mean, just I know I'm doing
[00:13:15] yoga. I got that fucking I got that that's so spine thing. Yeah, what's up with that?
[00:13:21] So spine, huh? I don't know. Yeah, it's I mean, I'm just out. It's like, I've been singing
[00:13:25] its praises on social media and you see those Joe Rogan fucking. Yeah, I saw those so I thought
[00:13:30] it was like some kind of fake thing they paid him. Well, it is very expensive. And like,
[00:13:34] like you get the thing and it's just a piece of fucking plastic. And it's like, if you
[00:13:38] had a 3D printer, you probably made it yourself pretty easily. Damn. Does anybody have a three,
[00:13:42] if anyone's listening and you have a 3D printer, let me get one of those. Yeah. I'm not trying
[00:13:46] to spend 70 bucks on that shit. Yeah. But the it's like, I mean, I've used foam rollers
[00:13:53] and lacrosse balls and like a bunch of different shit throughout my life trying to like fix
[00:13:58] because my fucking shoulder blades, my shoulder blade first of all, this shoulder sits like
[00:14:02] fucking two or three inches, like higher than the other one. And it's because like something
[00:14:07] in here is just chronically tight. I feel you, you know, what happened? What happened
[00:14:11] to you, do you know, just, you know, use and fucking sitting in a computer chair and just
[00:14:16] like being stressed out and getting tight and getting muscle knots and not stretching and
[00:14:20] not like, right, right, right. You know, same thing happens. Anybody. Yeah. Age. Yeah.
[00:14:27] But yeah, I spent all day yesterday, because what you do is you just fucking you like,
[00:14:33] you sit on it and then you try to find like trigger points or like knots or sore spots.
[00:14:38] And kind of like what you do with my dick. Yeah. You sit on it and you try and find knots
[00:14:43] in your ass. Yeah. It's not can't feel anything. No, can't feel a thing. It's weird. I thought
[00:14:49] you're at I thought my ass in your ass though. I thought my ass really tight. No, if it's
[00:14:55] not touching the walls, it doesn't even count technically. Yeah. Look at this. How about
[00:15:00] this? My fingers technically in my mouth, even though the inside of my mouth can't feel
[00:15:05] it. For the folks listening, audio wise, if you open your mouth, yeah, but if somebody
[00:15:09] finger in, it's not touching the mouth, it's still inside. Yeah. If you're I still in this
[00:15:14] hypothetical, fuck you. What's the James Bond movie where he has to take the warhead out
[00:15:19] of the fucking thing without touching the sides? I don't know. That was the thing. And maybe
[00:15:23] it was multiple movies, but you like to have to take the warhead out of an ice operation,
[00:15:29] an ICBM. And if you touch the sides, it'll explode. Yeah. So, but this so like that, but
[00:15:38] you're putting your cock in your friend's mouth. Yeah. Yeah. And it's your gay. Yeah.
[00:15:45] You can't if you touch the sides, you're gay. This is our greatest attempt at not being
[00:15:54] gay yet. Yeah. Right. You're mom walks in and she's like, what are you guys doing? You're
[00:15:58] like, we're scientists. We're doing some science. We saw James Bond movies. So we're
[00:16:03] scientists. We're doing science. We're having a 30 year old sleepover. No, we're not going
[00:16:11] to have families anytime soon. We're going to keep trying to put each other's dicks in
[00:16:14] our mouths without being gay. No, the whole family thing was kind of a delusion I had in
[00:16:19] my twenties when I was like trying to make relationships work. But then you turn 30 and
[00:16:24] you just turn into a 30 year old memory like, Oh, yeah, I don't need a relationship. Yeah,
[00:16:28] literally some would be a boy forever, literally forever. Good job, women. You did it. You did
[00:16:35] it. You did it. Check this out. Do you think you're gonna really like this? Can I see
[00:16:39] your being there? It's like, it's not even close. It's been all the time working on it.
[00:16:50] It's like, it sounds like it sounds worse than if you just cannot see your being there.
[00:16:59] It's not the inflections all wrong. It took me like 45 minutes. Yeah, no, trust me, dude.
[00:17:12] I understand the value of high effort shit posting. It's good. It feels good. It feels
[00:17:20] so good. I really, yeah, dumb as fuck and it takes you all day long all day. And then it's
[00:17:26] like an idea that people wouldn't even finish having as a thought. I'm like, Oh, yeah, I'm not
[00:17:32] gonna finish. I'm not even gonna let my mind complete that in my head. Yeah, I had another one.
[00:17:38] I had one for a graphic version that was, I don't remember what it was a penis of the lambs
[00:17:44] that I was just gonna. I don't remember what I was stoned yesterday watching the Sopranos. That's
[00:17:49] the only thing that that soothes me, but it was very stupid. I might smoke weed after this and
[00:17:54] bust out the PlayStation VR again. Apparently the Iron Man beta is like sick. That sounds tight.
[00:18:01] You get to fly around and shit. Yeah. How much was the VR? I might get one. Well, I bought it when
[00:18:05] it was new. So it was like $400, but they stopped making games for it or it's like it's a failure
[00:18:11] basically. So I can't imagine it costs anything now. Nice. And it'll probably be forwards compatible
[00:18:17] with the PS5, but I don't know. It better be. Yeah. I'm trying to play Iron Man. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:18:27] Oh, yeah. Fuck. Well, now I'm trying to remember silence was a pea. It must have been penis of the
[00:18:32] lambs. Is that what I was laughing about yesterday? Probably. It's never anything good. It's never
[00:18:39] anything. You remember it later? You're like, never mind. Yeah, I was like, I was doing like a lane
[00:18:46] Brian yesterday walking around like a like a cashier at Lane Brian getting on the PA being like,
[00:18:52] uh, attention, big fat choppers. Historically closing in 15 minutes.
[00:19:02] All right, damn shit. Every big fat bitch in the store. All the closing soon. So please
[00:19:10] give the fuck out and try not to get any chocolate on your four XL skirts. Thank you very much.
[00:19:16] Something like that. And then it just cuts to some huge fat bitch turning to her fat bitch friend.
[00:19:23] And that's how that scene ends. Oh, they're going to be closing soon.
[00:19:33] Did you hear that? They'll be closing in a couple of minutes, I guess. So we're going to have to get
[00:19:37] out of here. I guess you're going to have to get out. That's right. You talk to us. Just something
[00:19:44] like that. Oh, fuck. You like this shirt? Huh? You like this shirt to gap shirt? I started.
[00:19:51] You look cute, man. Yeah, I got a couple of gaps shirts. I think they look good. You look cute,
[00:19:55] brother. Yeah. Yeah, I found this shirt. Check this out. The fucking Walmart special tie-dye kittens.
[00:20:02] That's a throwback right there. Yeah. Fuck man. Yeah, I've been, I started the Sopranos over again
[00:20:08] because whenever I get stressed out, all I want is some fat Italians talking in a soothing way.
[00:20:14] Yeah, I should finish. I stopped because I started rewatching it again last year and got to season
[00:20:19] five and then stop. So I guess I should go back and start that up again and just wrap it up.
[00:20:24] And then maybe I'm due for a band of brothers rewatch. Okay. You're right. I still haven't seen
[00:20:29] that. Oh, band of brothers. Great. Dude. That's like, especially during the summer of dudes rock
[00:20:35] because it's all about dudes being boys. I love that. That's what World War II was. A lot of people
[00:20:39] think that that was a just war because we fought the Nazis and it was like, you know, it was but
[00:20:45] no, it was okay because it was about your boys. Right. You know, and just the fellas hanging out,
[00:20:51] getting pussy from some French bitch. Yeah. Modern warfare isn't the way the army works now is
[00:20:55] everyone. Everyone is an army of one. They're all hooked up to robot stuff. Yep. And they go out
[00:21:01] and they got women in there now. They got women in there now. Fucking up the whole volume. Yeah.
[00:21:05] Some of the men are women. You know, I mean, it's true. Well, not under Trump. Yeah. World War II,
[00:21:12] that was the way it was. It was an Italian guy who got into the Jewish guy the first day.
[00:21:17] And he's like, what do you mean you from the other side of the neighborhood? You know,
[00:21:22] what the hell are you doing with that? Yeah. Well, we're going to be enemies today.
[00:21:28] But in four or five episodes, we'll be brothers. We're going to be in a couple episodes of this.
[00:21:35] A couple episodes. It'll be clear that the differences between two white ethnic groups are not that
[00:21:41] there's not that there for what was it? It was Obama, De Niro. Oh, yeah. You're gonna meet the
[00:21:49] parents. What are you talking to me? You got to meet the parents. You got to meet the parents.
[00:21:54] Yeah. Damn it. Fucker. Yeah. You can't fuck my daughter. I got nipples. Fuck. You milk me.
[00:22:02] Dude, I love De Niro. But by the way, guys, for those of you listening, we're doing our
[00:22:08] we are squinting. So that's what makes it De Niro Obama. Yeah. You talk like Obama,
[00:22:13] but you're squinting like Robert De Niro. Yeah. You can't you can't just not meet the parents.
[00:22:21] You didn't. That's not you. You don't get to make that choice. You want to meet the parents?
[00:22:26] You got to meet them. Get your own damn parents. Get your own meeting.
[00:22:31] Me your own damn parents. Meet your own parents. Yeah, you got to everybody's got to meet their
[00:22:35] own damn parents. You know, so just because he's got nipples doesn't mean you can milk them.
[00:22:47] Well, somebody somebody come in and say, uh, you got nipples and you milk me.
[00:22:54] I got nipples, Greg. You got nipples, Greg. They call them nipples, Greg. You come in.
[00:23:00] Who's my friend? But I knew we called them nipples, Greg. He's just saying nipples, Greg,
[00:23:07] get your own damn fries. I know, bitch, nipples, Greg.
[00:23:14] Got to have them riffs. Got to have them. And pussy too. I got pussy, Greg. Can you fuck up?
[00:23:21] I got the pussy, Greg. Can you fuck me? Oh good. That's good.
[00:23:30] Just switch it up. Yeah. I got a pussie Greg. Greg Greg. I got a pussy.
[00:23:39] I got a pussy, Greg. Can you fuck me? Can you put ribs in my pussy, Greg?
[00:23:58] I fucked me, Greg. I've got a movie called Meet the Gay Parents and Ben Stiller.
[00:24:03] Yep. Ben Stiller has to bring his fiance or I guess he has to go meet the fiance's parents
[00:24:10] who are Roberts and Euro and Al Pacino.
[00:24:17] Wow. You've never seen two gay old men before. We're having sex. Yeah. We're having gay sex.
[00:24:24] We're having gay sex with each other. We share a bed. We've had gay sex with each other before.
[00:24:32] What? Something we do. I want to know who gets to fuck who in the ass tonight.
[00:24:45] You see my husband, Greg? He's got a great ass and I'm going to put my cock all the way in it.
[00:24:52] The way his ass used to smell back in the day. Smelled like fucking strawberries.
[00:25:03] Dude, that'd be a great movie. I like meeting the gay parents.
[00:25:12] You got to meet sex. We're having gay sex. You want to meet me? You got to meet my husband.
[00:25:16] You got to meet my husband, Obama De Niro. When I got married to Barack Obama.
[00:25:29] Yeah. Me and Al Pacino, we're gay. We have gay sex with each other and we're gay.
[00:25:36] Our name is Ryan Shutton. We're gay. Our name is Ryan Shutton. We're gay and we're parents.
[00:25:40] We're gay. We're on shutts parents. Yeah. Ben Sillie's getting married to Ryan.
[00:25:46] Ben Sillie's getting married to Ryan. You meet the gay parents? Yeah.
[00:25:52] Yeah. Ben Sillie's all apprehensive about needing them because he's like,
[00:25:56] I've never met gay parents before and shutts like, but you're gay. We're gay with each other.
[00:26:03] We're gay. I'm Barack Obama and I'm gay.
[00:26:07] My name is Ryan Shutton and I'm gay. I'm Robert De Niro and I'm
[00:26:26] Damn, I need the Marv Albert. Yes, on the board.
[00:26:48] Oh, I was having sex with our son by accident.
[00:26:54] And then just like, like frat rock playing in the preview for the movie.
[00:27:06] Who's gonna get fucked in a rash tonight?
[00:27:13] You know, I used to date Owen Wilson, who they still fuck sometimes.
[00:27:22] Wow. Yeah, I'm a carpenter and I'm gay. Wow. Yeah, no. Yeah. I got a nice body.
[00:27:35] Ben Sillie's upset because he doesn't have like, he's not gay.
[00:27:47] Don't worry about it so much. It's okay. We're all gay.
[00:27:54] You know, he lives here. The president.
[00:28:03] The whole movie is people reassuring Ben Sillie that it's okay.
[00:28:08] And the whole time, Ben Sillie's nervous to be gay.
[00:28:18] And then Gene Hackman's in it too, because it's also the Royal Tenant Bombs.
[00:28:23] Have you met my faggot daughter, Margot?
[00:28:32] And Margot is a man, by the way, and I call him my daughter.
[00:28:39] That's my favorite line of Royal Tenant Bombs.
[00:29:06] Mel Gibson's there, by the way, as well.
[00:29:07] So Danny, yeah, there's a bomb inside his boyfriend's penis,
[00:29:21] I'm wait, we just gonna wait for the bomb squad.
[00:29:28] You gotta stop getting fucked in your ass.
[00:29:48] Like, yeah, so we got an all-star cast on board
[00:30:01] And Wilson, Deneera, Al Pacino, Ben Stiller.
[00:30:04] And we really want Mel Gibson for the project.
[00:30:07] Unfortunately, when we explained to him
[00:30:09] that every character in the movie is gay,
[00:30:14] And so we went back to the writers and we said,
[00:30:17] you know, let's make Mel Gibson's character straight,
[00:30:22] And of course, you know, it was Nora Ephron
[00:30:29] They said the whole point of the movie is that everyone's gay.
[00:30:31] You can't have a straight character in the movie.
[00:30:33] It ruins the, I don't know, the Miz on scene.
[00:30:45] It destroys the illusion of the movie, you know.
[00:30:48] It's like saying, what if you made the movie Inception,
[00:30:50] but there's one guy that is Santa Claus.
[00:31:00] And it's like, what if you put Tim Allen
[00:31:02] as to the Santa Claus in the movie Inception?
[00:31:05] And it's called the Santa Claus Inception.
[00:31:07] Let's go into that Chinese guy's head, everyone.
[00:31:16] Didn't think I had a Santa on deck, did you, bro?
[00:31:25] Oh, the bad little boys are going to get fucked in the ass by me.
[00:31:29] Santa Claus, the child molest the wrong.
[00:31:36] Yeah, with it, Santa distributes fossil fuels to bad children.
[00:31:42] What do the good kids get? Renewable energy?
[00:31:48] Is that what you get if you're on the nice list?
[00:31:59] Do they get fuckin' ethanol or whatever the fuck you make out of soybeans?
[00:32:15] But he's married to Danny Glover, who is his character from Royal Tenenbaum's.
[00:32:20] But Mel Gibson is his character from Lethal Weapon.
[00:32:29] I mean, we say this shit, but this is literally how movies get made.
[00:32:37] I would love to make me the gay parents.
[00:32:42] I'll see if I'll reach out to my manager that dropped me after Shane Gillis got fired from SNL.
[00:32:49] And I'll be like, listen, I know you severed ties with me professionally,
[00:32:53] even though you hadn't done anything for me in six years.
[00:32:58] Just to be safe, you made sure that my name doesn't appear next to yours.
[00:33:03] Even though we had no projects going on, you weren't really making any effort whatsoever.
[00:33:09] And if I had accomplished anything, you would have just taken 10% quickly without helping whatsoever.
[00:33:15] But anyway, I have this dynamite idea that you're really gonna want to hear.
[00:33:39] If you could throw us through on a party line with the head of development at MGM.
[00:33:44] Dude, we should just do like a 10 minute version of meet the gay parents.
[00:33:47] That's the second episode of the web series.
[00:33:49] Honestly, one of the most fun times I had on this show was riffing out the
[00:34:02] I mean, because I'm up here, out into the cosmos, give it time.
[00:34:08] We could probably make it an animated movie right now.
[00:34:11] That's the thing that's great about podcasting is you don't have to do anything.
[00:34:15] You just say the idea and then someone will steal it later.
[00:34:22] It's like, no, somebody was dumb enough to make the bad idea that I would never.
[00:34:29] Yeah, it's never going to get better than this.
[00:34:33] You know, when I could be doing yoga and smoking weed and gaming.
[00:34:39] I will be doing, I will myself be gaming.
[00:34:42] I put a shirt on to do the podcast, but the Feds was already on.
[00:34:46] So I've just been in my apartment nude wearing a Feds doing yoga.
[00:34:52] Would you say what app you use downward dog app?
[00:34:54] Down Dog is what everybody recommended.
[00:35:00] I just wanted something to hold me to like a schedule.
[00:35:03] Because I've been doing random YouTube vids.
[00:35:08] But I go app because like the app like, you know, it's like, look how many days you've done it.
[00:35:14] Like that kind of shit, like I get that kind of feedback from it where I can see like,
[00:35:23] I got a fucking like an app exercise app.
[00:35:27] And it's like you could just do your own like app training.
[00:35:32] You know, that's all you have to fucking do.
[00:35:34] But because it like holds me to doing it every day,
[00:35:38] then I was just, I'll follow the app because it's at least something.
[00:35:42] I've been doing, I've been trying to start doing pushups.
[00:35:49] Even though I'm doing fucking modified pushup because I am fat as shit.
[00:35:54] It still feels good to get a nice little pump in.
[00:35:59] So what used to be called uncharitably a girl pushup.
[00:36:30] We're in the store and you're out of here.
[00:36:32] Dude, I really, I know I want to rewatch fucking bad Santa.
[00:36:38] That means. I watched that for the first time last year.
[00:36:43] You saved all the, you know, people say youth is wasted on the young.
[00:36:50] What I would give to fucking, I saw bad Santa in theaters.
[00:36:55] And I walked out feeling like I had witnessed something.
[00:37:05] I know you mean that you're jealous, but at the same time,
[00:37:08] I know that would have hit absolutely gorgeous.
[00:37:16] That fucking line when he's sitting in the locker room,
[00:37:18] and he's like, I beat up some kids today.
[00:37:28] You're saying there's something wrong with my fucking gear.
[00:37:37] So I thought to Billy Bob, a true legend.
[00:37:42] You think you can make my life any fucking worse.
[00:37:50] I got a bone, chip, and my ankle that'll never heal.
[00:37:55] I mean, getting pussy from Angelina Jolie,
[00:38:06] What I like to call it is a mistake to me.
[00:38:17] Now, you know, I'm gay, but I still think we should make mastectomies illegal.
[00:38:25] The first 100 days I'll close when time will obey.
[00:38:28] I'll make it so that getting a mastectomy
[00:38:35] Any kind of breast reduction will be met with kind of force.
[00:38:39] And we're going to let women know you didn't build that.
[00:38:56] If only he could be here to tell people not to get their titties chopped off.
[00:39:05] Everybody's like, you see, I think it was like Kamala Harris's niece said,
[00:39:12] It's like, we're just, I mean, nothing means anything.
[00:39:14] Not for nothing, though, but I mean, it's like,
[00:39:16] I don't think it would be helpful if he did say anything.
[00:39:19] Well, I mean, I guess people's fucking like working memory lasts about 10 minutes now at this point.
[00:39:25] But like, you know, I mean, Black Lives Matter
[00:39:29] like grew out of the Obama administration.
[00:39:32] It's I mean, Ferguson happened under him.
[00:39:35] I mean, we had when all that should happen, it was, it was him.
[00:39:40] He was Black AG like the fuck what it's not.
[00:39:45] But at the same time, how what the amount of a backseat Obama's dumbass
[00:39:50] is taken during his presidency is so fucking hilarious.
[00:39:53] For everyone that thought he was going to be like, he's going to get us through this.
[00:39:56] It's like he immediately goes and hang glides with fucking Richard Branson.
[00:40:00] And then he doesn't do shit except get everybody to drop out so Biden's fucking dumbass can win.
[00:40:06] I mean, he doesn't while he was president, all of his money was coming from being rented out to
[00:40:13] And the thrills not there if you're not president.
[00:40:17] Well, you know, I mean, Saudi Arabia is like, you know, they don't have to have closeted gay sex anymore.
[00:40:23] I don't know if you know, but they I didn't know.
[00:40:25] They're letting women drive men are allowed to have gay sex in public with whoever they want.
[00:40:33] I feel like that should be the first thing that would open up there.
[00:40:37] They're like, well, if women can drive, then we can fuck.
[00:40:45] But you're still not allowed to have slaves.
[00:40:48] So I was like shipping Filipino slaves.
[00:40:51] You're not allowed to use like a fork after 10 p.m. Your house has to smell bad.
[00:41:05] They straight up, I think they literally have like they bring in people from the Philippines and then
[00:41:10] Like it just became illegal to take away your servants passports.
[00:41:18] Some like fucking bloggers, some like some like Saudi Arabia.
[00:41:21] I guess she's like a makeup blog or something went on like a rant.
[00:41:26] The government is overstepped by let you should be allowed to take away your mates.
[00:41:31] Filipinos are wild with that slavery shit because they're like,
[00:41:35] like they're all the American Filipinos that are like woke as shit have a blind spot when it comes to
[00:41:50] I've said it before a million times, but like one of the before we descended into just
[00:41:58] the utter fucking joke of a world we live in.
[00:42:07] And it's like it's it's so bad and it's also like, I don't necessarily think it's going to get better.
[00:42:13] I don't like, especially when you have fucking like Trump is such a fucking who knows what he'll do.
[00:42:19] At least I literally miss the fucking Illuminati Clinton Bush years.
[00:42:25] He's going to, but he is one of those guys.
[00:42:31] It's no, it's it's fucking the idea that Trump is like not one of these fucking elites is retarded.
[00:42:37] The reason that he's like this upset character is like it's similar to,
[00:42:41] you know, if there's no like literal like hereditary lineage in this ascension of power,
[00:42:48] it's like back in the fucking 1600s when like a retarded cousin would become king.
[00:42:53] And everyone's like, uh, just, uh, you know, we'll find the shittiest portrait painter.
[00:43:02] I mean, he's like, he's incompetent, but he is he was on Epstein's plane.
[00:43:09] I, but he, but you're right in that he is the like he's the unstable one of in that family.
[00:43:14] He is the like, like, who know, like that motherfucker could roll tanks in any city.
[00:43:18] And I wouldn't be surprised is what I'm saying.
[00:43:21] He can do some wild shit that starts with civil war.
[00:43:24] Not a bush wouldn't even the silver lining with Trump is that he helps like regular people like,
[00:43:30] like see fascism as fascism and not like fucking dismiss it as like,
[00:43:40] It's like, you know, because if it were just some fucking Democrat, you know, like,
[00:43:45] let's say we had another, another fucking Democrat in office, Hillary, Hillary.
[00:43:50] And like there's a lackluster response to police brutality or whatever.
[00:43:56] It's like, you know, people aren't going to, I mean, some people will correctly identify it,
[00:44:00] but for the most part, people won't fucking care.
[00:44:03] It's like the same thing with the situation on the border.
[00:44:05] Look at all these people that care now, which is good.
[00:44:08] It's good that they do, you know, but but they wouldn't, they fucking absolutely wouldn't have.
[00:44:14] And you had if you had a Hillary in office and she did everything that fucking Trump did,
[00:44:19] if she was locking up kids and cages on the borders, none of these people would.
[00:44:24] I mean, some would care, but I mean, it would not to this.
[00:44:30] It's also to Trump's going to get reelected.
[00:44:33] It's a fucking, he's just going to get like where the fuck is by his body.
[00:44:39] That's probably the best move is just to do nothing and then hope that Trump loses the election for himself.
[00:44:45] I mean, it's, it's, that is probably the best move.
[00:44:48] Everything's a fucking nightmare now, you know, and then people are like,
[00:44:53] The problem is, is that it's like, okay, I guess, Joe Biden, I mean, it's not even like a fucking,
[00:45:02] I was like, Trump's going to win and the popular vote will be 5,500 votes for Donald Trump
[00:45:15] And that'll be the results of the American presidential elections.
[00:45:27] When was the deal with brass instruments?
[00:45:29] Like they fucking like there was a period where they're like, let's just keep fucking up these
[00:45:33] tubes and every, any way, let's try all different.
[00:45:39] There was like a fucking, there was like a bubble of brass instruments where you could just
[00:45:44] fuck up brass tubing in any which way put three buttons on it and you're like, yeah,
[00:45:50] Keep blowing into these pipes till people want to give you pussy.
[00:45:52] And then it just fucking hit an end where they're like, and that's all of them.
[00:45:56] It's trumpet, the bigger trumpet, the much bigger trumpet, and then the circular trumpet
[00:46:18] But I think there's a time here trumpet.
[00:46:20] There's a trumpet, the trombone baritone slash euphonium.
[00:46:28] Suza phone, which those are the same instrument.
[00:46:31] Isn't the Suza, I thought I thought the Suza phone was like a piano that you blow into.
[00:46:35] No, the Suza phone is a tuba that you can wear.
[00:46:41] Did you ever, will you ever abandon learn any of that?
[00:46:44] I played the entire brass section in middle school.
[00:46:47] It's easy to jump from one instrument to the other.
[00:47:00] Let me ask you this, because I was thinking about this.
[00:47:03] At that age, what was like your aspirational, like if you had to,
[00:47:06] in your head, think about the best outfit, like your fancy shit looking the best,
[00:47:14] I wore sweat suits with my house keys around my neck.
[00:47:19] But did you ever, did you ever dream of dressing up?
[00:47:25] There was never like a cool thing you wanted to wear, dude.
[00:47:27] I wanted, I wanted to wear a Burberry shirt so bad.
[00:47:32] I wanted one of those fucking Burberry.
[00:47:34] I don't think they make like hiking clothes kind of, don't they?
[00:47:47] I know, I see Burberry when I go to Macy's.
[00:47:52] That is, I had a scarf that looked like that that I bought on the street.
[00:47:57] I wanted a shirt like that so fucking bad.
[00:47:59] That was what I thought the pin, I wouldn't even dream of asking my mom,
[00:48:02] because I thought it was like only for rich people.
[00:48:05] So you never had any aspirational looks.
[00:48:07] I also wanted to wear, I wanted a Randy Moss jersey really bad.
[00:48:12] And I wanted UNC Tar Heels basketball shorts.
[00:48:18] Yeah, I never really cared about clothes.
[00:48:20] I mean, because it was like, well, I'm fat and stupid.
[00:48:23] So I mean, what I'm going to dress nice.
[00:48:30] I had a pair of sweatpants that had a hole in the crotch.
[00:48:34] And I would get like made fun of for having a hole in the crotch of my pants.
[00:48:39] And I was like, I should really get rid of these or get some of these sweatpants.
[00:48:47] What about hot topic or anything like that?
[00:48:55] I don't even know where they were from.
[00:48:56] I mean, I remember being 18 or something, maybe 17 or 18.
[00:49:04] You know, I'd been in a relationship and I got kind of fat.
[00:49:07] But I lost weight and I got back in shape.
[00:49:09] And I was like, I went to go get new clothes at dollar general.
[00:49:13] And I got like a nice, like nice package of Hanes.
[00:49:28] Time to get the finest shit at dollar general.
[00:49:31] I might even get a shirt that's not in a package.
[00:49:34] I might even get one of a single shirt at dollar general.
[00:49:42] Also, let me add another question I had for you.
[00:49:55] Because your brain stores smells forever.
[00:50:00] So it's like, there's like perfumes or whatever.
[00:50:03] Symposium I might have gotten here and there.
[00:50:05] You know, like you smell it and you're like,
[00:50:07] sometimes I bought shampoo that a girl,
[00:50:19] Yeah, my dick would get hard in a shower.
[00:50:24] And I'm like, sorry, there was a girl like,
[00:50:36] fully new to the fucking Atlanta fitness.
[00:50:54] you're like, damn, do I want to fuck that person also?
[00:51:01] You think this Derek Chauvin guy is going to get abstained?
[00:51:04] I mean, no, I don't think he'll get abstained.
[00:51:12] I mean, they only charge him a second degree
[00:51:15] They didn't even charge him a second degree.
[00:51:19] these riots are going to get way worse.
[00:51:22] So there's like people that don't want that to happen.
[00:51:26] it just goes away because they already did it by killing abstained.
[00:51:34] it's not like he has information that he can,
[00:51:49] that would be so fun if he drives the cut of dealer like,
[00:51:57] I mean, if that's the case, then why wouldn't they just
[00:52:03] Because the reason they killed him is because Epstein had information.
[00:52:14] Oh, you mean they abstained him in like the sense where
[00:52:23] They don't have to deal with the trial.
[00:52:32] it would be not you want to put you want to put 50 bucks on it?
[00:52:39] No, no, this way too much for like a fucking like hypothetical.
[00:52:42] This isn't I'm not even like this will happen for real.
[00:52:47] I'm just I'm just asking put a little action on it.
[00:52:53] Yeah, but that's action like you think it's going to rain tomorrow?
[00:52:59] It would be fun to see if you don't even have no.
[00:53:01] I don't have I don't have a strong position on this.
[00:53:04] If I if I thought for sure then yeah, I put a thousand dollars on it.
[00:53:16] if they wanted to fucking if they wanted this stuff to go away,
[00:53:18] they would just make sure he went to jail.
[00:53:21] No, because if look they charge him in the the rights that it'll just
[00:53:29] People are angry and they're going to stay angry because there's
[00:53:31] all think about all the other times that it didn't happen.
[00:53:35] I mean, you don't think people would prefer it would quell people's anger more to see him
[00:53:39] actually, I think he fucking held and this is kind of this is kind of why I don't.
[00:53:44] I don't think it's like a good idea that even analyze whether the the rights are good or bad
[00:53:50] as if it's something that is like a conscious decision.
[00:53:53] It's like a tipping point that like it spills over into that territory.
[00:53:59] A better example would be because you know, people make these arguments that it's like,
[00:54:03] these are just like what I do think is I think that things are like very much
[00:54:08] exacerbated by everybody being locked inside.
[00:54:10] And whether people want to realize it or not, these riots would absolutely not be happening
[00:54:16] It just would not be there would be peaceful protests, but there would not be these fucking
[00:54:20] riots. I agree with that. I think people I mean, people are just as fed up because of
[00:54:25] I mean, how many people are unemployed? How much how many people have lost money?
[00:54:29] I mean, there's so much you can't say any that nobody can say that even though they may feel it
[00:54:34] on some kind of visceral level, they can't say it because that that would make them racist or whatever.
[00:54:40] But what would being upset about job loss or any of the things people were mocking protesters
[00:54:46] four or three weeks ago, how that was like rewritten as being a white supremacist.
[00:54:50] We were talking about this. I don't think I think enough people.
[00:54:53] I don't think that's what most of the people protesting were worried about.
[00:54:58] I think it's weird like we're going to it's like don't tread on me shit that was going on.
[00:55:02] Well, yeah, but it's the same thing. It's like don't tread on me and my ability to go like earn
[00:55:07] a living or have health insurance. I mean, it's like you're demanding that people stay inside.
[00:55:12] You're cutting off their their access to employment. I mean, I don't know. Like we don't need to
[00:55:17] argue about it. It doesn't fucking matter. But yeah, it's like the point to me, I guess it felt more
[00:55:23] like people wanted services than the right to do services again. Like it was people that wanted
[00:55:28] haircuts and the nails done and all that. I mean, that was the criticism of it. I mean,
[00:55:31] there's like people had signs that are like, let me get my haircut. And then that like one sign
[00:55:37] blew up into this whole thing where like all of these people demonstrating because of these measures
[00:55:43] that like are a complete erosion of like civil liberties, which is like the thing that's been
[00:55:51] happening since fucking like, well, forever basically, is that the left will embrace something like
[00:55:58] severely illiberal in an instance where it sort of benefits them or things that they like. And
[00:56:04] people say, Hey, this is going to come back and bite you in the ass someday. And then it does.
[00:56:11] And then they still don't fucking see that that's what happened. You know, it's like, I guess it's
[00:56:16] exactly the same thing with the Joe with the Joe Biden, the Joe Biden, terror read thing. It's
[00:56:22] of years of believe all women no matter what. And it's like, okay, well, this is destroying your
[00:56:27] candidate. And they're like, well, we never meant believe all women. It's like, right, okay,
[00:56:31] I never mind. Don't don't learn your lesson. Don't you know, yeah, but and I agree with you when it
[00:56:36] comes to that and it comes to cancel culture and all that stuff. I guess I see the this being a
[00:56:41] public health issue, not a a one time this is good for liberals issue. Now, maybe, you know,
[00:56:47] whatever, if you don't think the virus is real, then I see what your point no, I think the virus
[00:56:51] is real. But I think there was like plenty of evidence that like it's mostly dangerous to
[00:56:57] specific populations. It's like, there was no reason to close schools. It became like
[00:57:02] abundantly clear. There was no reason to close schools. And then they're talking about asymptomatic
[00:57:06] transfer or whatever. And then the evidence for that dried up. And then they needed to like,
[00:57:13] further explain why children were out of schools. This is bullshit about like Kawasaki syndrome
[00:57:18] for like two weeks. They're like, Oh, maybe this says, maybe this is something. And then that just
[00:57:23] sort of fizzled out. I mean, yeah, I just think it didn't matter. And then it's like, you know,
[00:57:28] again, from the get go, there was always a trade off. There was always a trade off with the lockdowns.
[00:57:32] There was always going to be job loss. And then there's this fucking stimulus bill where they're
[00:57:35] just robbing people. At a time when it's like, you know, this is the shit that led to occupy.
[00:57:43] And they made occupy illegal. And it's like, it's like nobody's even thinking that because they got
[00:57:48] all the people that normally would protest something like this to get on board with this liberal idea
[00:57:54] that it's more important to stay inside to protect grandma. Well, you introduce a little bit of an
[00:57:59] identity issue into it. Now, now there's like a huge like crisis of consciousness in liberals' minds
[00:58:07] because it's like these protests have to be more important. They don't know that I mean,
[00:58:11] they don't know what to think. I think they're more important personally. They're more important
[00:58:15] than the virus. So it's like, but like again, it's like, if you think the virus is to do something
[00:58:21] that's dangerous because of, but it's dangerous for other people. That's the whole point. If it was
[00:58:26] only dangerous for you, then you have no, you should have no problem with the people going to protest
[00:58:31] being locked inside a month ago. The argument then was that you're putting everyone else at risk.
[00:58:36] So that's still in play. It's those are, it's still the same virus by going out and protesting on mass,
[00:58:42] you're putting now all these other people at risk, not just yourself. That was the argument a month
[00:58:47] ago. It's an unfortunate situation. It's an unfortunate byproduct of people being forced to,
[00:58:54] you know, to protest, you know, the cops murdering people. I know it fucking sucks. And I didn't go
[00:59:00] because I'm fucking actually scared of. I'm literally scared of getting it. Which shitty is
[00:59:05] because it's like, I don't even want to make this point because it's like, I think it's good that
[00:59:08] people are protesting. Like, I don't, you know, and then, but it's like, it's, there's so many
[00:59:12] inconsistencies that there's no way to argue with it because then you're forced to take a position
[00:59:17] or at least seem like you're taking a position that you don't. It's like, you should be fucking
[00:59:21] protesting this. This fucking shit sucks. But if you want to just go based on the numbers,
[00:59:26] it's like the cops killed what maybe two, three hundred black people last year, you know, how many
[00:59:31] this year, it's way less than the fucking virus. And you know, the virus is hurting, you know,
[00:59:38] black people more. So it's like by going out and protesting, you're probably killing more old or
[00:59:44] black people. If again, you think you are still on board with the idea that yeah, but that's a virus
[00:59:50] versus a state. And it's also like, yeah, those are technical technically. I mean, who knows if
[00:59:55] that's the right amount of people? I mean, who knows how many people actually get killed by cops
[01:00:00] that aren't reported. And then it's just like, it's also just a more it's a it's a protest about
[01:00:07] more systemic issues than just specifically police violence. Yeah, it's just again, again,
[01:00:13] again, it's like, I think it's, you know, I hope I'm tested. I don't know. I don't know what you can
[01:00:17] do. I don't, I think people should be pro. Yeah, it's shitty. It's fucking shitty. Because then
[01:00:25] it's like, you know, it's so easy for people to be like, Oh, we're like, what are you a racist or
[01:00:31] something? It's like, no, it's just no way to have the conversation. And it's like, whatever, I give
[01:00:35] a I keep finding myself giving up more and more and more and more over the last like a month and a
[01:00:40] half. I guess. I fucking guess giving up will set you free. They don't give you more time to work
[01:00:48] on stuff like this. Yeah, I tell you though, getting that fucking that so spine thing. Digging that
[01:00:56] shit. Feeling good. You feel limber? Dude, it's I can't wait till I see you and you can suck your
[01:00:59] own dick again. Yeah, I mean, it's it really has how much of my life was just being frustrated with
[01:01:06] like muscle pain, I think is. Give me a second. I did somebody, I want to make sure I don't miss
[01:01:12] this Amazon package. Yeah, yeah. What did he do? Was that Nick?
[01:01:22] Did you? Are you playing? Are you playing that? No, I guess. Yeah, my when I put the
[01:01:30] headphones that are tabbed over to Twitter and started playing protests.
[01:01:33] Yes. Karen, I'll see your pain. Hello, everyone watching the live stream. If you want to
[01:01:44] I will be raising money for protesters at 5 p.m. Today on my Twitch twitch.tv slash stop you,
[01:01:51] baby. I will be playing Grand Theft Auto and may or may not find myself in some self-defense
[01:01:57] situations with virtual police in a parody satire stream. But on my Twitch, we raised 3500 bucks
[01:02:06] in that stream on Friday and I met I threw in 1500 bucks myself and today I'm gonna I'm gonna
[01:02:11] chip in a grand. I'm gonna match everything up to a grand. And we'll see how much money we can
[01:02:17] raise today at five o'clock. So after this stream in about less than an hour, I'll be back here
[01:02:22] on motherfucking Twitch raising money. Gosh, so did you get it? Got it. Want to make sure I didn't
[01:02:30] miss this. You're dildos here. Nice. I did. No. Yeah, your asshole stretcher. No, that's not what
[01:02:37] it is. Yes, that's what it is. No, but I am taking this is game. No, no, I'm not. I'm taking things to
[01:02:44] the two. I just checked again. No, he's even gayer than I calculated the first time. They're not a
[01:02:51] computer. That's a fat man. It's a fat man talking through a cereal box that's been
[01:02:58] his is grafted through his face with foodie pebbles stuck in my throat.
[01:03:11] Dental hygienist tools. I'm doing my. Oh, there he is. I'm doing my own teeth clean.
[01:03:16] Now because I, you know, I don't want to go pay for it. And I'm also getting a sewing machine.
[01:03:25] Oh, fuck it. Do you get to make your own shit? Because here's what remember that hotel we
[01:03:29] stayed at in Brisbane with those. No, dude, stop. Stop doing that stuff. I don't want to watch this. No.
[01:03:42] It's. Fuck, dude. Chill. I am chilling. This is how I chill.
[01:03:50] Okay. This is what me chilling looks like. No, I don't want you to chill, then. Be fucking nervous
[01:03:54] or whatever. No, you fucking weirdo. No, you shouldn't own that. No, I don't want to look.
[01:04:03] Oh, that tartar build up. That's where I get I get it. I'm back there.
[01:04:08] Go get your teeth cleaned. You're rich. I'm doing it my way. I'm doing it my way. And
[01:04:15] though I suck the dick and fuck the man. Yeah. I'm getting a sewing machine.
[01:04:21] I'm with that hotel we stayed at in Brisbane. I regret deeply not stealing those robes.
[01:04:29] Those are good robes. Did you steal yours? Nah. Why didn't we steal those fucking robes?
[01:04:34] No, but literally nobody took one, which is insane. The robes. I know. Did we forget that
[01:04:41] Adam sneak into the room and take everyone's robe? Probably. And then pretended he didn't.
[01:04:45] Yeah. And now you go to his house and he's got five. Yeah. He's just wearing all of them at once.
[01:04:50] We see him at the bank trying to sell the robes.
[01:04:55] He's trying to return them to Costco. Yeah. Like sir, we don't sell robes.
[01:04:58] So we don't sell robes from Australia. But for the listeners at home, they were these very like
[01:05:05] very flowy linen bathrobes. They were great. And the thing is, multiple times in my life,
[01:05:10] I thought you'd be nice a bathrobe. Then I go to like you get one at like fucking target or
[01:05:16] something. And they're like fucking heavy and shitty and they get wet. They can go, a bathroom
[01:05:22] can easily go wrong. Yeah. And they're not they're never as good as you think they're going to be.
[01:05:26] And he never was comfortable. But this shit just a light like kimono style fucking.
[01:05:32] Like a house robe. Yeah. They're not they're not towel material. They're just nice fucking
[01:05:37] flowy robes. Yeah, they're linen. Well, so I'm going. Yeah, linen kimono and then slides with socks
[01:05:44] and my penis hanging out in the house. I love that look. And then Feds. I love that look.
[01:05:50] Me time. Yeah. That's the look, baby. That's the motto. That's the motto right there. Just becomes
[01:05:56] we'll leave the light on for you. That's the motto. That's the motto. Yolo.
[01:06:06] I love that, dude. I love that. That's the end of every motto.
[01:06:12] Damn. I also wanted to say I will be doing a fundraiser on Twitch right after this at 5 p.m.
[01:06:18] for anyone watching live on Stavi solves your problems. We raised 5,000 bucks
[01:06:24] that went to a bunch of different organizations supporting protesters. So
[01:06:29] holler at me again. I'm going to match everything up to a thousand bucks. And hopefully we can raise
[01:06:33] even more than that. So tune in. I'll be playing Grand Theft Auto. Which one five police, huh?
[01:06:39] Five. Yeah, five. Damn. I didn't know you're playing GTA. You play it online?
[01:06:45] No, I'm just going to get. I'm literally just going to get on and fucking
[01:06:50] fuck people up and just take like donations.
[01:06:56] Wow. I've never played it online yet. Yeah, me. I didn't even finish the story.
[01:07:00] Yeah. I'm just going to put on the fucking cheat codes and fuck up cops. I got to the Trevor
[01:07:05] part and it's fun, but it's like Grand Theft Auto peaked with Vice City. I agree 100%. Vice
[01:07:11] City was so fucking good. It's the only one I ever beat by also. It was just so fun. You wanted to
[01:07:17] get you wanted that mansion. You wanted it all. Yeah, the fucking Diaz mansion. Yeah. Yeah,
[01:07:22] dude, I needed the starfish island. I remember when I remember opening up starfish island and I
[01:07:27] was like, damn. And then you get to the other island, the other part of the fuck of Miami and
[01:07:32] you're like, there's like a downtown and you're like, this is great. It's like, it's like,
[01:07:36] it's like real life. It's like being in real life. Mom, shut the fuck up. Shut up. You don't know
[01:07:44] anything about fucking gaming or Miami or the 1980s. Mom, shut up. Shut up. You fucking bitch.
[01:07:54] She's not even home. She doesn't get home till 8 p.m. She's just pretending you have a mom, you
[01:07:58] know, like fuck. Yeah. What a fucking game. That really was the best one. Yeah. The fucking the
[01:08:09] the moped the the Faggio. Yeah. Damn. I did they probably made a remaster version of it. I don't
[01:08:16] think so. If they did they're they have if they haven't their fucking morons. Yeah, they should
[01:08:22] have thought fucking like remake it entirely. I agree. I need another GTA five engine or whatever.
[01:08:29] But then scale scale down the other all the other bullshit like Vice City added so GTA five had
[01:08:35] all the shit, you know, too much. Well, GTA or GTA three was like, like there was a couple of
[01:08:41] things missing. It's like interiors. That would be cool. And then like other types of vehicles.
[01:08:47] And then Vice City added like all the shit you could want. There's helicopters. There's fucking
[01:08:53] like planes. There's boats. And it's like you're done. And then San Andreas. They're like, what
[01:08:59] did you get a haircut and you're black? And it's like, I don't, you know, the haircut I don't mind.
[01:09:04] Yeah. No, I like I I like that customization. The thing where they started losing me is you got
[01:09:16] to fuck it. Your character has to work out. Your character has to go on it has to take phone calls
[01:09:20] and go on dates. And that's where they lost you is the working out part. Yeah, just the fucking
[01:09:25] character having to be healthy and shit. Come on. Yeah, don't fucking I don't want to do maintenance
[01:09:29] is my point. I'm doing I'm playing a video game to escape bitch ass reality. Yeah. And it should
[01:09:35] be it's the way it should work is it's cool if you don't do something. Like that's why it makes
[01:09:39] red dead shit cool is because it's like if you don't get the beard cut his beard just gets huge.
[01:09:44] Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it doesn't hurt you. Yeah, it just like looks fucking weird with but with
[01:09:50] I feel like San Andreas you had to do a bunch of shit. And then even with five, it's like you
[01:09:54] could ignore calls, but you have to go do little chores. Fuck that. I'm trying to do chores.
[01:10:00] Well, I don't have the answer. Well, I'm pissed now. Yeah. When's your stream five, B.M. Five.
[01:10:06] Yeah. Some will make a little little little snack. I guess I'll give you a little break here then.
[01:10:10] You want to die man? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But all right.
[01:10:13] All right. Yeah. I guess that's it for today. Thanks, folks. Thanks, folks.
[01:10:20] We will see you Wednesday. Fuck you. Check out that town by next fucking shit.
[01:10:24] Come that town by the shirts last day of the month. And then I'm going to the next thing is I got
[01:10:30] to redesign the store and work with them and make sure that's done. And then once the store is
[01:10:35] redesigned and sales kind of taper off, then we'll roll out some new designs. But I got to make
[01:10:41] sure that the print shop has time to have like a decent amount of stock beforehand. Because last
[01:10:46] time it was just like as soon as the designs were off, they were up and this last round,
[01:10:52] they've mailed everything out now, but like people aren't getting shirts till now and they
[01:10:55] order them like a week and a half, two weeks ago, some of them, three weeks ago now.
[01:10:59] Yeah. But yeah, should be good. By those shirts, tune into the stream, stop it, baby, twitch.tv
[01:11:05] slash stop it, baby. We were fundraising and then month and then just yeah, check out the stream.
[01:11:11] And then stop yourselves your problems is on YouTube. And I do that Fridays on Twitch too.