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Bonus 194 - the wayfair mansion

Cum Town | Premium | 07/13/2020

[00:00:00] I was pretty plugged into the Jaw Rule 50 Cent beef in middle school and I don't remember
[00:00:04] that member being accused of being gay with each other.
[00:00:06] I think it was kind of a playground rumor. It was like, oh, it was a lover's quarrel.
[00:00:10] No, no. Maybe in gay ass Vegas, that was what's going on, but...
[00:00:15] Overrated.
[00:00:16] In Baltimore, no one wanted to hear about that. We were all big fans of 50.
[00:00:20] Jaw Rule and 50 Cent had gay sex?
[00:00:23] No. Let's add them besmirching. 50 Cent's good name.
[00:00:27] Well, I guess it would be pretty hot if they fucked.
[00:00:31] Jaw Rule and 50 Cent's.
[00:00:33] Hot in the prime of their lives, 50 Cent was really jacked.
[00:00:37] And then they had all this...
[00:00:38] But how is that different than normal gay sex?
[00:00:42] I don't notice. You're just describing...
[00:00:44] Because...
[00:00:45] 95% of gay sex and you're saying that it's hot.
[00:00:48] Well, there's an extra element of...
[00:00:51] There's nothing to differentiate these two guys.
[00:00:54] They had a very public...
[00:00:57] Normally, I'm not in gay sex. I'm straight. I'm not in gay sex.
[00:01:00] Unless the guys are hot.
[00:01:03] Well, there's others...
[00:01:04] Which, in that case...
[00:01:07] You didn't tell me the men were physically...
[00:01:10] They were hot.
[00:01:11] That I changed my tune.
[00:01:13] I'm straight. I'm not in the guys at all.
[00:01:15] Unless they're having sex with each other.
[00:01:17] Unless they're having sex and one of them has muscles.
[00:01:20] Well, there's a day where we're engaged in a very public rap feud.
[00:01:25] And there's some sexual tension to it. That makes it hotter.
[00:01:29] Yeah.
[00:01:30] You know?
[00:01:31] Yeah.
[00:01:32] Because in public, they're enemies.
[00:01:33] But in private, they're sucking tons of cocks.
[00:01:35] Someone was...
[00:01:36] Someone, I forget who it was, was saying that all the new rappers are homosexuals.
[00:01:41] Yeah.
[00:01:42] Like I've heard that.
[00:01:43] Who was it?
[00:01:44] It was like...
[00:01:45] It was like...
[00:01:46] So the number of rap is now it's just like mixed race kids,
[00:01:48] like getting broken up with by the boyfriend.
[00:01:50] Yeah.
[00:01:51] Yeah.
[00:01:52] Thanks to Frank Ocean.
[00:01:53] It's a new generation.
[00:01:54] Well, now there's also kids that look gay, but fuck a lot of women.
[00:01:58] Lil Uzi Vert being one of them. He's tiny.
[00:02:00] No, he claims to not have any sex at all.
[00:02:03] No, he's always talking about rapping about getting pussy.
[00:02:06] I think he said that he hasn't had sex in three years.
[00:02:08] He's shot out.
[00:02:09] He's shot out.
[00:02:10] Yes.
[00:02:11] No way.
[00:02:12] Yeah.
[00:02:13] And I kind of believe that I think it's cool.
[00:02:15] No, that's him trying to methodize himself.
[00:02:17] Someone was saying that ASAP Rocky was a homosexual.
[00:02:22] I don't think he's homosexual, but I could see him getting head from a guy.
[00:02:25] Yeah.
[00:02:26] He's artsy.
[00:02:27] He goes to fashion week.
[00:02:28] Mm-hmm.
[00:02:29] A young thug is definitely gay.
[00:02:31] Is rap good again?
[00:02:33] I like that.
[00:02:34] It went off the rails for like maybe five or six years in the mid-naughts.
[00:02:39] I feel.
[00:02:40] In the mid-naughts?
[00:02:41] No, that was kind of a golden there.
[00:02:43] No, that's one like...
[00:02:44] No, that's one like...
[00:02:47] The rapid large got to...
[00:02:48] Well, maybe not mid-naughts.
[00:02:49] Are we talking about the M&M?
[00:02:50] When M&M was king?
[00:02:51] No, I'm talking about like 2009 to 2000.
[00:02:54] I guess it's not really the naughts.
[00:02:56] Maybe like 13.
[00:02:59] So right after mixtape Wayne, essentially.
[00:03:02] Yeah.
[00:03:03] That's when a little Wayne was super hot.
[00:03:05] And that's when the teacher came around.
[00:03:07] But I'm also talking about the era where like...
[00:03:10] What is it?
[00:03:11] Like nerd, core.
[00:03:13] You mean any R.D. or nerd core?
[00:03:15] Nerd core rap became...
[00:03:17] Yeah, that stuff sucks.
[00:03:18] Yeah, that kind of shit where it was like...
[00:03:21] I'm not getting pussy.
[00:03:22] Yeah.
[00:03:23] But that was like...
[00:03:24] Wait, nerd core...
[00:03:25] I thought that was like...
[00:03:26] People like white girls on YouTube.
[00:03:28] Or maybe not.
[00:03:29] No.
[00:03:30] Maybe, I don't know.
[00:03:31] I just knew fat people.
[00:03:32] Well, video games are rap.
[00:03:34] Exactly.
[00:03:35] Yeah.
[00:03:36] There was one that's fun to listen to is the ocarina of rhyme.
[00:03:40] That one's fun.
[00:03:42] I think that...
[00:03:43] Which was, I think the clips.
[00:03:45] But it was a bunch of beats made with Zelda.
[00:03:51] So what was...
[00:03:52] I think that made nerds think we can do this too.
[00:03:54] So what's something recently about Soldier Boy?
[00:03:56] So he made that...
[00:03:58] He made Crank That at the library.
[00:04:00] Awesome.
[00:04:01] And in case he was watching a homeless guy master.
[00:04:04] Yeah.
[00:04:05] He was next to...
[00:04:06] Yeah, he was...
[00:04:07] He was a biography on a library computer.
[00:04:10] You!
[00:04:11] Beautiful.
[00:04:12] Yeah.
[00:04:13] It was a pretty homeless man with Down syndrome.
[00:04:15] He kept going, ew!
[00:04:16] One Jack off.
[00:04:17] One of my earliest internet like...
[00:04:19] Like one of the things that killed me the hardest laughing so hard.
[00:04:22] There was this story...
[00:04:23] It would get like...
[00:04:25] You know, just set a screenshot of the story about a homeless guy that was masturbating the child pornography in the library.
[00:04:31] And he refused to stop and asked...
[00:04:34] Yes.
[00:04:35] And then they...
[00:04:36] Just a picture of this guy.
[00:04:37] Just how absolutely deranged he was.
[00:04:40] He looked a little something like a guy who might be beating off the child porn live.
[00:04:45] She's a library you might say.
[00:04:47] Yeah.
[00:04:48] Just fucking, just looking pissed.
[00:04:49] Yeah.
[00:04:50] I imagine him...
[00:04:51] He looked kind of like the fucking police chief in Godfather Part 1.
[00:04:56] Okay.
[00:04:57] Just kind of an intense look like that.
[00:04:58] Like if that guy had been homeless.
[00:05:00] Mm-hmm.
[00:05:01] I imagine him like stoic, like a Rosa Parks.
[00:05:03] Like I will not leave my seat, man.
[00:05:05] Do you think he was doing a sit-in for a better while?
[00:05:08] I have reserved these 30 minutes at this computer station.
[00:05:12] Madam, as is my right as an American citizen.
[00:05:17] Uh, fuck.
[00:05:18] But apparently...
[00:05:19] Why don't you crank that AC before you keep talking?
[00:05:21] Apparently what Soldier Boy used to do, my friend Brian was filming.
[00:05:25] He, uh, went like in the early Kazah Lime Wire days.
[00:05:29] He would tag crank that as different popular rap songs.
[00:05:34] And then people would like want to download like 50 Cent in the club or something.
[00:05:38] Yes.
[00:05:39] And it would be, it would be crank that.
[00:05:41] And he actually eventually went number one.
[00:05:44] Guerrilla marketing.
[00:05:45] Completely on his own.
[00:05:46] He makes you think like maybe that's what's going on with this Wayfair thing.
[00:05:50] Yes.
[00:05:51] It's like this was a guy that saw a pizza gate.
[00:05:53] Just wanted to sell his shitty cabinets.
[00:05:55] Yeah.
[00:05:56] He's like if I just make them $15,000 and I get a trick.
[00:05:59] Yup.
[00:06:00] Because what's going to happen?
[00:06:01] He's got a Google's alert set up for anytime a child goes missing.
[00:06:03] Exactly.
[00:06:04] He puts that on there and then what's John Podesta going to do being like I thought the cabinet.
[00:06:09] You thought it was what John?
[00:06:10] Yeah.
[00:06:11] I thought you wanted a $15,000 cabinet.
[00:06:13] That's the perfect crime.
[00:06:14] You're a term with, we said no returns unless you can explain why.
[00:06:19] So unless you want to tell me in front of all these people what you were actually trying to
[00:06:24] buy, I think we've got ourselves a done deal.
[00:06:32] That's fucking genius.
[00:06:33] Yeah.
[00:06:34] Should we start doing that?
[00:06:35] Well, I already blew it by saying it out.
[00:06:37] Well, we could do a different thing.
[00:06:39] Yeah.
[00:06:40] We should start pretending like we're sex trafficking children millionaires.
[00:06:44] Love it.
[00:06:45] But really it's the old bait and switch.
[00:06:47] They fuck Adam in the ass.
[00:06:49] The old classic monorail move.
[00:06:51] We have Adam in pigtails.
[00:06:53] I sold children a Podesta.
[00:06:55] You know, I will say that that episode holds up.
[00:07:08] I watched it recently.
[00:07:10] Really?
[00:07:11] Yeah.
[00:07:12] I don't know why.
[00:07:13] Because your board wanted something.
[00:07:15] No, I just wanted to remember like the classic abs.
[00:07:19] That's like, that's got to be top five classic abs.
[00:07:22] It's very funny.
[00:07:23] So the cosmic ballet goes on.
[00:07:27] Does anybody want to change seats?
[00:07:29] Just gay ass liner.
[00:07:31] Yeah.
[00:07:32] Ah, the lunar eclipse cosmic ballet goes on.
[00:07:39] Well, my work is done here.
[00:07:41] You didn't do anything classic.
[00:07:43] Didn't I?
[00:07:45] Classic.
[00:07:46] Very funny.
[00:07:47] Spawned also a meme.
[00:07:50] Which is the rich is that?
[00:07:52] I mean, it spawned that quote.
[00:07:55] Yeah, spawned screenshots of it being posted on the Internet.
[00:07:59] Alright.
[00:08:00] Yeah, you think they're really selling children through Wayfair?
[00:08:05] Probably.
[00:08:06] But I mean, that's a thing is like you just, it's like this slow drip of horrific details
[00:08:13] that you become a nerd to the entirety of the monster is that, you know, by the end of the
[00:08:18] story, you're so bored.
[00:08:20] You know, you just don't care anymore.
[00:08:23] Yeah, it's another one of the.
[00:08:24] It's like that movie Cloverfield.
[00:08:26] Never seen it.
[00:08:27] Where you're just sitting there and you're like, I don't even care what the fuck this thing
[00:08:30] is.
[00:08:31] What did we ever find out?
[00:08:32] It's been so, I don't know who gives a shit.
[00:08:34] Is it a godsillabas?
[00:08:35] It's hard to this TJ Miller's annoying.
[00:08:37] Yep.
[00:08:38] You know, do they never show Cloverfield?
[00:08:41] I think they may be sure the monster.
[00:08:44] I never saw it either.
[00:08:45] That's fucking worse.
[00:08:46] It had a great trailer.
[00:08:47] Hey, great show.
[00:08:48] I'm trying to see a monster fuck shit up.
[00:08:49] That was my problem with the godzilla.
[00:08:50] The sequel is better.
[00:08:53] That's where it's John Goodman in a house.
[00:08:55] Yeah.
[00:08:56] Do you see the monster then?
[00:08:57] I think she does get out of the house and then there are literally monsters.
[00:09:02] You get to the idea the whole time that there aren't monsters.
[00:09:05] Right.
[00:09:06] That this guy's just fucking abducting women and keeping them in a basement.
[00:09:09] Does he get top?
[00:09:10] Does he fuck them?
[00:09:11] Yeah, that's part of the deal.
[00:09:13] Because I would be pretty pissed if I was her if John Goodman was fucking me against my
[00:09:18] will.
[00:09:19] But then again, if he's keeping you safe from the monsters, I still don't think that's
[00:09:25] a fair trade off, but...
[00:09:29] That one was good.
[00:09:30] There's a couple of good.
[00:09:31] You know what movie rocks?
[00:09:32] Don't breathe.
[00:09:33] Did you see that?
[00:09:35] What's that?
[00:09:36] That was, you know, it's weird.
[00:09:37] I think back over the last couple of years, I'm like, I haven't really liked much, but
[00:09:40] I really liked Don't Breathe.
[00:09:41] That was a great movie.
[00:09:42] Don't breathe.
[00:09:43] It's about these like these three or four kids.
[00:09:47] I can't remember.
[00:09:49] They're living in Detroit.
[00:09:50] And they're trying to save up money to go to LA.
[00:09:52] They're like, we just got to get out of Detroit.
[00:09:54] You got to get out of this town.
[00:09:55] And one of the kids' dads works as like a home security company.
[00:10:00] So he uses his dad's like info or whatever.
[00:10:03] Maybe it's not even his dad.
[00:10:04] Maybe it's him.
[00:10:05] I can't remember.
[00:10:06] He has some kind of like insider information at the home security company that he knows
[00:10:09] all the codes to disable the alarms.
[00:10:11] Fuck yeah.
[00:10:12] The break into people's houses and rob them.
[00:10:15] And so they've done that and it's like, this is the last job they need to do.
[00:10:17] Oh hell yeah.
[00:10:18] And it's some crazy motherfucker's house.
[00:10:20] They break into the guy's house and he has all this money from a settlement because he's
[00:10:24] a veteran, a blind veteran whose daughter.
[00:10:27] Fuck yes.
[00:10:28] Whose daughter was killed by like rich, like some rich girl ran over his daughter.
[00:10:33] Oh fuck.
[00:10:34] His daughter didn't face charges.
[00:10:36] He just got a settlement or whatever.
[00:10:38] So it's this old blind guy.
[00:10:40] They break into his house, but then it's like, you know, they're hunted by him.
[00:10:44] He wakes up.
[00:10:45] Yeah.
[00:10:46] And then he'd like the whole house is all locked down.
[00:10:47] So they can't escape the house.
[00:10:48] But this like blind guy is like just going Rambo on them.
[00:10:51] That's all.
[00:10:52] So it's a lot of scenes of like, you know, them like trying to like hold their breath
[00:10:54] while this fucking blind guy like just what pans a gun across the room.
[00:10:59] That's awesome.
[00:11:00] It's an awesome movie, which the mechanics of that would seem like because it's a good
[00:11:04] idea, but it's like, how do you shoot that for like two hours and have it be fun?
[00:11:07] Yeah.
[00:11:08] And then it takes like these other turns that are really fucked up.
[00:11:10] I mean, it's, it's, I'm interested.
[00:11:11] I might watch that.
[00:11:12] It's really good.
[00:11:13] I would have shit all I would you try what you got to do is overwhelm his other senses.
[00:11:18] So you shit everywhere.
[00:11:19] So the whole house smells like, or in your case, you could just be you.
[00:11:22] You could just have your smell fine.
[00:11:23] Thank you very much.
[00:11:24] No, that's what you think.
[00:11:26] I smelled fine.
[00:11:27] You've never had to be downwind of yourself.
[00:11:31] You're the one who thought for like a year that you don't emit body odor.
[00:11:34] I don't insane.
[00:11:36] You smell sour.
[00:11:37] No, I don't.
[00:11:38] Mm hmm.
[00:11:39] Not right now.
[00:11:40] I never smell bad.
[00:11:44] You're a no deodorant guy though, right?
[00:11:45] No, I'm not.
[00:11:46] You're not a no deodorant guy.
[00:11:48] You're not a no deodorant guy.
[00:11:49] Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:50] So you are.
[00:11:51] You are a no deodorant guy.
[00:11:52] I am a no deodorant guy.
[00:11:54] Yes.
[00:11:55] Ha ha ha ha ha.
[00:11:56] Damn.
[00:11:57] Nice.
[00:11:58] God.
[00:11:59] Nice rhetorical trick, Adam.
[00:12:00] Yes.
[00:12:01] Well, fell into your trap.
[00:12:02] Once again.
[00:12:03] And admitted he uses the odorant.
[00:12:04] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[00:12:05] Once again, my web has caught him.
[00:12:08] Your web of you.
[00:12:09] I think this movie this week, an Eli Roth movie from I think 2013 called Green Inferno.
[00:12:16] What happened to Eli Roth?
[00:12:18] I don't know if he's still making movies.
[00:12:21] Is he?
[00:12:22] He probably is because they all make money, I think.
[00:12:24] Well, he did that horror movie.
[00:12:27] Yeah, Cabin in the Woods and then the Costal.
[00:12:29] Costal.
[00:12:30] Yeah, those movies made a lot of money.
[00:12:32] You think he fucks BJ Novak in the ass because he's kind of like the tougher version of
[00:12:36] him?
[00:12:37] Well, they were both in Inglorious Bastards.
[00:12:39] You think on the set of Inglorious Bastards, he was like, I'm the fucking.
[00:12:43] I'm the bear.
[00:12:44] I'm the bear Jew.
[00:12:45] I'm the fucking strong version of you.
[00:12:46] And you're the Ryan from the office.
[00:12:49] Would that be hot to you?
[00:12:50] Would that be hot?
[00:12:51] No, because they were in a public rap feud.
[00:12:56] So that was kind of the big issue.
[00:12:57] That would be part of it.
[00:12:59] Wow.
[00:13:00] I even forgot five minutes ago.
[00:13:02] I was just saying it would be hot.
[00:13:06] But yeah, anyway, this movie's about this dumb bitch that goes to Columbia and then she
[00:13:11] wants to impress a guy who's a student activist.
[00:13:15] So they go down to Peru to chain themselves to a tree to stop some rain, some company
[00:13:22] from destroying these untouched people's lands.
[00:13:26] You didn't say anything related to it, but I was laughing.
[00:13:29] You know how people pretend to be black on Twitter?
[00:13:31] Yeah.
[00:13:32] They comment, like, as a black person, I love the police sort of stuff.
[00:13:36] Yeah.
[00:13:37] I saw one of those the other day and the person's name was Kangaroo.
[00:13:39] That's so good.
[00:13:42] Like, I would love nothing more than to have the police in my community.
[00:13:46] No avatar at all.
[00:13:48] An egg?
[00:13:50] Name Kangaroo.
[00:13:51] Kangaroo.
[00:13:52] That's awesome.
[00:13:53] Yeah.
[00:13:54] I love those blacks for Trump accounts.
[00:13:58] Well, some of them are real because they...
[00:14:02] Some of them are real, yeah.
[00:14:03] People are like, if we're going to be honest, they just love hats and sneakers.
[00:14:07] And the Make America Great Again hat is one of the greatest hats of all time.
[00:14:11] That's what Kanye said.
[00:14:12] Did you read the time?
[00:14:13] That's why the only way Biden's going to win is going to win.
[00:14:15] He's got to get it.
[00:14:16] I'm one of the top Democrat minds.
[00:14:17] He needs a ton of...
[00:14:18] Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:19] But Biden's got to come out with a shoe.
[00:14:20] Yes.
[00:14:21] If he had a sneaker, then he...
[00:14:25] Imagine him cruising out to the debate stage completely naked, but he's just...
[00:14:28] Weren't Jordan's.
[00:14:29] Yes.
[00:14:30] Jordan collapsed.
[00:14:31] Jordan times Biden.
[00:14:32] Uncreased.
[00:14:33] Yeah.
[00:14:34] He has giant shoes.
[00:14:36] Yes.
[00:14:37] You know, I mean, they would have no choice.
[00:14:41] Almost...
[00:14:42] They would have no choice.
[00:14:43] They would have just sort of...
[00:14:47] I don't know if this is the fair term to use, but animalistic instant to vote for Joe Biden
[00:14:53] upon the sight of such a beautiful snake.
[00:14:55] That's so true.
[00:14:56] Their hive mind voting block would command them to vote against Donald Trump.
[00:15:02] Who doesn't even have a sneaker.
[00:15:04] Who won them over with a hat.
[00:15:06] It's true.
[00:15:07] You got...
[00:15:08] And the numbers show that...
[00:15:10] He got 97% of the black vote.
[00:15:14] Folks.
[00:15:15] Folks.
[00:15:16] I mean, I'm just saying.
[00:15:18] Imagine that it was a fitted with a sticker still on it.
[00:15:22] Yep.
[00:15:23] You know?
[00:15:24] Well, that...
[00:15:25] Can we all be honest here?
[00:15:26] That would probably work a lot better in like 2008.
[00:15:28] I've got to be honest.
[00:15:29] I don't think the fitted...
[00:15:30] I think it's more about snapback.
[00:15:31] Yeah, it's a little bit out, yeah.
[00:15:33] It's just...
[00:15:35] Unless we're talking about guys from the Bronx who still seem to be stuck in...
[00:15:38] I love the Bronx.
[00:15:39] That's his own.
[00:15:40] They're like, nah, 1998!
[00:15:41] That's it!
[00:15:42] Now we don't show you anything.
[00:15:45] Because they were really cool in 1998.
[00:15:49] Yeah, we were listening to Big Pun.
[00:15:51] Yeah.
[00:15:52] He died and we kind of have it.
[00:15:54] They're basically like a seeds.
[00:15:55] Yeah.
[00:15:56] It's true.
[00:15:57] They're like Puerto Rican seeds.
[00:15:59] They decided they were like...
[00:16:00] They were like...
[00:16:02] And 200 years ago, people were going to be like, what the fuck?
[00:16:06] What the fuck?
[00:16:07] So they got old-timey Jews, and they got old-timey Puerto Ricans.
[00:16:10] Yeah, why are you guys wearing an NBA All-Star game?
[00:16:13] You're wearing...
[00:16:14] Jersey backwards.
[00:16:15] You're wearing jeans with every NBA logo.
[00:16:16] Who have guest jeans and a Chinese Rough Riders hat?
[00:16:21] Yeah, salute to that, man.
[00:16:26] Yeah, that's great.
[00:16:28] I think he's immensely challenged.
[00:16:31] Yeah, the guy wearing the nuggets jeans.
[00:16:33] Wearing Denver nuggets jeans.
[00:16:35] Are you serious?
[00:16:36] Are you serious?
[00:16:37] Are you serious?
[00:16:38] My son got the Denver nuggets jeans.
[00:16:43] That guy just absolutely preening.
[00:16:45] That's just like...
[00:16:47] So ecstatic.
[00:16:48] Yeah.
[00:16:49] And stop thinking.
[00:16:50] Nah, dude.
[00:16:51] The best part is just random passers-by.
[00:16:53] Everyone in the background.
[00:16:54] Bar in on the troll.
[00:16:55] Like, that is what they know exactly.
[00:16:57] What's going on?
[00:16:58] You'll never be as funny as the people there, ever.
[00:17:01] No matter what you post on Twitter, we'll never be better than some lady walking her dog,
[00:17:06] seeing them bully a retarded man in Denver nuggets jeans, and immediately be on board.
[00:17:11] And he'll be like, ooh, I'm giving him one of those.
[00:17:17] Yeah.
[00:17:18] It doesn't get much better than that.
[00:17:23] It really doesn't.
[00:17:24] Oh, fuck.
[00:17:25] Oh, God.
[00:17:28] Yeah.
[00:17:29] I was watching, since we were all talking about movies we were watching, I was watching
[00:17:31] Apocalypse Now, which is incredible.
[00:17:34] Yes.
[00:17:35] And then also Moonstruck.
[00:17:36] Moonstruck is great, dude.
[00:17:38] Share looks very good in that.
[00:17:40] I'm trying to get sucked by share.
[00:17:42] I'm trying to get sucked by Nick Cage.
[00:17:44] Nick Cage looks good, too.
[00:17:45] You know what?
[00:17:46] That would be, I would like to watch them, fuck, as well.
[00:17:47] Nick Cage.
[00:17:48] How about that?
[00:17:49] Nick Cage with one hand.
[00:17:50] Nick Cage with one hand.
[00:17:51] You can make a big deal about me wanting to look at heterosexuals.
[00:17:52] It's crazy.
[00:17:53] He was not where he was just absolutely ripped.
[00:17:57] Yeah.
[00:17:58] Dude, he's fucking yoked in that.
[00:17:59] It's kind of leading up to fucking Conair.
[00:18:01] Yeah, Conair, he's like on steroids.
[00:18:04] I know, but it's weird to think about Nick Cage in that way that he was like, bulkier
[00:18:10] than fucking stethum, for sure.
[00:18:13] And that's like a romantic comedy.
[00:18:14] He doesn't even, Moonstruck, he doesn't, like, his, the first shot, he works in an oven,
[00:18:18] but the rest of the guys are just lumpy Italians that work there.
[00:18:21] He doesn't have to be that fucking jerk.
[00:18:22] He's been right back.
[00:18:23] I have to go to the left way.
[00:18:24] He's fucking 15 now.
[00:18:25] I feel like he didn't even lift weights.
[00:18:27] I feel like he just had that body.
[00:18:28] Yeah.
[00:18:29] He was hot too.
[00:18:30] It's not even like just bulky.
[00:18:31] He was like a human.
[00:18:32] He was like a human.
[00:18:33] I'm like, I'm shocked.
[00:18:34] But he wasn't like that in fucking raising Arizona.
[00:18:38] No, he wasn't.
[00:18:39] Yeah, but he's hot in that movie too.
[00:18:41] But he's not, you know, how old he was when they shot that?
[00:18:44] Like 25?
[00:18:45] 23 years old.
[00:18:46] God damn.
[00:18:47] I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
[00:18:49] Yeah.
[00:18:50] He's so fucking talented too.
[00:18:51] Yeah.
[00:18:52] I guess I guess it's the rock.
[00:18:54] It's the nerve.
[00:18:55] It's truly wild because he is like one of the three in that.
[00:18:59] Yeah.
[00:19:00] One of the best and worst actors of all time.
[00:19:02] Totally.
[00:19:03] He's got to be pointed in the right direction.
[00:19:04] He's like brand though kind of where he has this incredible range and not in terms of
[00:19:07] like who he can portray, but how good he is at his job and how sometimes he's like,
[00:19:12] yeah, I'm I'm not doing that.
[00:19:15] Well, that's what's good at moonshine.
[00:19:17] He plays a fucking lunatic, but it makes sense.
[00:19:20] You can see shades of how he's just going to go off the rails in the future because his
[00:19:24] character is kind of fucking, he's just he's just angry and pissed for no reason.
[00:19:29] Well, because he has no hand.
[00:19:31] Yeah, but he's not really Danny I'll always fault, but then he gets pussy from Cher.
[00:19:35] So who cares?
[00:19:36] And let me let me double down on Cher looking good as hell in that movie.
[00:19:40] She goes through a like a there's like a make.
[00:19:44] Makeover section.
[00:19:45] Stop.
[00:19:46] I'm going to say something and I want you to respond with the first adjective that comes
[00:19:50] to your mind.
[00:19:51] Okay.
[00:19:52] Marlon Brando and Nicholas Cage having sex.
[00:19:54] Cool.
[00:19:55] No, it was hot.
[00:19:56] I said cool.
[00:19:57] No, you has you panicked and said, what's the opposite hot?
[00:20:03] Don't look gay.
[00:20:04] I still think cool.
[00:20:06] I think it's cool if they fuck.
[00:20:09] No, you thought hot.
[00:20:10] I didn't think hot.
[00:20:11] I saw a big anime sweat drop like a Daniel.
[00:20:15] Oh, cool.
[00:20:16] I wish you know what?
[00:20:17] It's a shame we don't have video for video to vindicate me because I said it smooth.
[00:20:22] I said it without panicking.
[00:20:25] Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:26] And I think rewinding it will show that if you're hooked up to a lie detector, put me
[00:20:30] out there.
[00:20:31] I'll take a look.
[00:20:32] You're like a polygraph right now.
[00:20:33] You're pulsed.
[00:20:34] Not element.
[00:20:35] Your eyes did not dilate.
[00:20:37] You're cool as a cucumber.
[00:20:40] I'll tell you what is cool.
[00:20:41] Marlon Brando and Richard Pryor having sex.
[00:20:43] That is cool.
[00:20:44] That's pretty cool.
[00:20:45] Marlon Brando.
[00:20:46] A lot of cocky socks was cool.
[00:20:48] Yeah.
[00:20:49] I think you fucked a lot of famous guys.
[00:20:52] Yeah.
[00:20:53] I feel like all those guys from that era accidentally fucked each other because they're
[00:20:58] Hollywood idiots.
[00:20:59] And that was right when the liberal turn happened.
[00:21:02] And so it went from being like conservative Hollywood where they're like, we should all
[00:21:05] be racist and war is good.
[00:21:07] And hit women.
[00:21:08] And then they were like, well, let's be liberal, but they're all idiots.
[00:21:11] So then one of them was like, we should all have gay sex with each other.
[00:21:15] We should all have a liberal we are.
[00:21:16] And a lot of those guys just sort of did it thinking that there was the right thing
[00:21:19] to do.
[00:21:20] That was when it was going to start happening.
[00:21:21] And then gave themselves like severe trauma.
[00:21:25] And that's why James.
[00:21:26] They never bounced back.
[00:21:27] James Dean at the driver's car in the wall.
[00:21:29] Yeah.
[00:21:30] Because of the train they ran on him.
[00:21:31] And fucking Brando just didn't want to be beautiful anymore.
[00:21:34] So he had to eat himself into a fucking grave.
[00:21:36] Yep.
[00:21:37] Yeah.
[00:21:38] And Richard Pryor, they did free base cocaine.
[00:21:41] All that kind of stuff.
[00:21:42] God, Brando was so fucking good.
[00:21:44] He was a piece of ace.
[00:21:46] Have you ever seen street car named desire?
[00:21:48] No, but I saw a Julius Caesar.
[00:21:51] The whole movie his shirt is wet.
[00:21:53] And it's just stuck to my fucking pussy.
[00:21:56] It's insane.
[00:21:58] I wish I looked like that.
[00:22:00] Good God.
[00:22:01] That would be so nice.
[00:22:03] You never will never will.
[00:22:04] And you never will.
[00:22:05] I never will.
[00:22:06] So came in.
[00:22:07] No, it's fine.
[00:22:08] I'm happy with this.
[00:22:10] I guess.
[00:22:12] Yeah, just like.
[00:22:14] How old do you share?
[00:22:17] Currently.
[00:22:18] Yeah.
[00:22:19] Probably like she should share some of her pussy.
[00:22:21] Yeah.
[00:22:22] Do you believe in giving me head?
[00:22:26] Ba ba ba.
[00:22:28] Is she?
[00:22:29] I don't think it sucked off by you.
[00:22:31] Is she our Armenian?
[00:22:33] I don't know.
[00:22:34] Because she's not Italian.
[00:22:35] I know she plays a Paizana.
[00:22:37] She does play a Paizano.
[00:22:40] Paizana.
[00:22:41] Paizana.
[00:22:42] Would it be Paizana about NIGG ER, man?
[00:22:47] Is that too much?
[00:22:49] Is spelling?
[00:22:50] Is that too far?
[00:22:53] Yes.
[00:22:54] It said I will say yes.
[00:22:59] That is too far.
[00:23:00] Yeah.
[00:23:01] You got to stay over the line.
[00:23:03] I retract my traffic.
[00:23:07] I will retract my traffic.
[00:23:12] And Nick, the retraction is noted.
[00:23:17] You know what?
[00:23:19] I'm growing.
[00:23:20] He's growing and he's listening.
[00:23:22] It's time for you to listen.
[00:23:25] He is listening.
[00:23:26] That's true.
[00:23:27] I mean, it's really gotten to a point now where you're better off having some like just
[00:23:31] shit on your record and getting caught so you can do the whole because it's all just
[00:23:36] absolutely bullshit now.
[00:23:37] It's just the whole life.
[00:23:38] The apology?
[00:23:39] Well, the process of like, woke's gold, your history's dragged out, you're canceled,
[00:23:45] apology, and then the apology itself gives you more credibility when you dump the fucking
[00:23:51] shit on somebody else's head.
[00:23:52] Because you're a reform.
[00:23:53] Yeah.
[00:23:54] It's like the whole process now, ironically and hilariously.
[00:23:58] It's like Highlander.
[00:23:59] Well, it only exists to reinforce the hierarchies that were already there because the only time
[00:24:04] the growth thing works is if it's somebody that's fucking insulated by power.
[00:24:08] Yeah.
[00:24:09] So you're almost like better off.
[00:24:11] And it's also happening entirely within the industry that was protecting pedophiles.
[00:24:15] It caused all this to happen in the first place.
[00:24:19] Right.
[00:24:20] Yes.
[00:24:21] And it's never, by the way, it'll never be a fucking executive.
[00:24:23] Right.
[00:24:24] The only people get fired is still creative.
[00:24:26] It's like a powerful creator.
[00:24:27] Yeah.
[00:24:28] The executives who are still raping, still raping, all white.
[00:24:31] Most of the dads got them for jobs.
[00:24:33] Getting fired is our real estate agents from Arkansas that don't wear a mask in Costco.
[00:24:39] It's never like, if Pat and Oswald, people actually decided to dig through his standup
[00:24:44] history and his whole like, Ken, a retard be gay or whatever.
[00:24:49] Which, you could dig through all of his shit and find.
[00:24:52] That's a premise.
[00:24:53] That's a solid premise.
[00:24:54] I think we did that.
[00:24:55] I think we've touched on that.
[00:24:58] And you know what we're saying?
[00:24:59] Yeah.
[00:25:00] All he would have to do is just be like, oh, well, yeah, I grew.
[00:25:03] You could just fight.
[00:25:04] You could softball over, I grew or something.
[00:25:06] And nobody would fucking do that.
[00:25:07] Do you think that there's more virtue to be reformed than someone who's never actually?
[00:25:11] I don't think there's virtue in any of it.
[00:25:13] Well, there's social.
[00:25:14] Social.
[00:25:15] That's what I said at the beginning.
[00:25:16] Yeah.
[00:25:17] That was the point that I made.
[00:25:18] Is it you're better off having like, go through this process?
[00:25:21] Yeah.
[00:25:22] Because it's kind of done early.
[00:25:23] Right.
[00:25:24] Exactly.
[00:25:25] Because then it gives you like the artifice of credibility or whatever, even though the
[00:25:30] whole thing's fucking bullshit anyway.
[00:25:32] Well, I think it's like Highlander.
[00:25:34] If you defeat somebody who has been canceled and you get all the powers of everybody you
[00:25:40] cancel.
[00:25:41] You get all their cancel.
[00:25:42] And it absolutely doesn't work if you're nobody.
[00:25:43] Like that Brian Yang guy that tried to cancel Megan.
[00:25:46] Yeah.
[00:25:47] And then people found all of his shit and he had to delete his fucking Twitter.
[00:25:50] Yeah.
[00:25:51] And that's it for him.
[00:25:52] No, he's going to come back.
[00:25:54] He's coming back Sean.
[00:25:56] He's going to quickening someone else.
[00:25:59] Yeah.
[00:26:00] Yeah.
[00:26:01] That's so funny.
[00:26:02] Yeah, it's not about being technically correct.
[00:26:04] About the NES quickening.
[00:26:06] Now we're talking.
[00:26:07] Yeah.
[00:26:08] Yes.
[00:26:09] There can only be one fat guy.
[00:26:10] I love that.
[00:26:11] And I bring that on and I would love to kill my fellow fat man to be the ultimate fat guy.
[00:26:16] That'd be cool.
[00:26:17] Because there would be no such thing as fat.
[00:26:19] You know, people say like, was it Freddie Mercury said if we all have AIDS none of us
[00:26:22] have it?
[00:26:23] And that was part of his idea that we in fact everyone should be affected with nature.
[00:26:27] Yeah, he did say that.
[00:26:29] Yeah.
[00:26:30] That was his big.
[00:26:31] And here's the thing.
[00:26:32] That was his big thing.
[00:26:33] Here's the thing nobody wants to tell you when he was working on a way to get AIDS in
[00:26:37] the water supply.
[00:26:38] That's when the fucking USA.
[00:26:40] I think that was actually just the plot of Batman Begins.
[00:26:42] I don't know if that was actually.
[00:26:44] No, they killed him for that for thinking too big.
[00:26:46] Like Dr. Sethi.
[00:26:47] Yeah.
[00:26:48] They got him.
[00:26:49] They killing Murphy plays gay Crow.
[00:26:51] Yeah.
[00:26:52] Everyone said.
[00:26:54] Yes.
[00:26:55] Well, doctor, it's time for my appointment down at the water treatment facility.
[00:27:00] Just jacking off into it.
[00:27:02] What are you putting in the water gay Crow?
[00:27:08] Tell me what you're putting in there.
[00:27:11] Mason George full of calm.
[00:27:12] Yeah.
[00:27:13] He has and just whole foods bag, tote bags.
[00:27:16] I'm afraid there's no cure, Mr. White.
[00:27:20] All we can do is give you looks at entire retro files.
[00:27:26] But I was on Prab.
[00:27:28] We could put.
[00:27:29] Give me a pain mask.
[00:27:31] The pump's prepping to my nose.
[00:27:34] Fuck.
[00:27:35] That would be a good movie.
[00:27:43] You know what I want?
[00:27:44] You're gonna Tim Burton Batman.
[00:27:45] Batman Begins to have their be gay.
[00:27:48] They're not that bad man begins to have a small, a slight cough that's not worried
[00:27:52] about.
[00:27:53] Batman begins to feel under the weather for two weeks.
[00:27:57] Yeah.
[00:27:58] Imagine if they made Joker, but it was a different director and it took place in Greenwich Village
[00:28:03] in the early 1980s.
[00:28:04] I love this.
[00:28:05] And they made Joker gay.
[00:28:06] Yeah.
[00:28:07] Have AIDS.
[00:28:08] And have AIDS.
[00:28:09] That would be right.
[00:28:10] And then all the people that hated Joker and thought it would cause a mass shooting.
[00:28:13] Which by the way, I guess we're supposed to just forget that people were legitimately
[00:28:17] predicting.
[00:28:18] So funny.
[00:28:19] A mass shooting because of that fucking comic book movie.
[00:28:23] Yeah.
[00:28:24] Because that one asshole.
[00:28:25] Right.
[00:28:26] And whatever James Rogers.
[00:28:28] Right.
[00:28:29] The, the, the, the, Corona would never make somebody to do that.
[00:28:33] That's, that's an independent decision.
[00:28:34] Corona Butler.
[00:28:35] Yes.
[00:28:36] Yeah.
[00:28:37] Former Washington.
[00:28:38] No one.
[00:28:39] Yeah.
[00:28:40] There's no such thing as, as religious violence.
[00:28:43] That has never been in the history of the world.
[00:28:45] Absolutely doesn't exist.
[00:28:46] But a movie about a clown.
[00:28:49] Yes.
[00:28:50] Will for sure.
[00:28:51] Yes.
[00:28:52] The director of old schools take on a Batman villain.
[00:28:56] Next what's going to get people to start fucking rioting in the streets with guns.
[00:29:00] Oh, can I give you a wreck a movie wreck?
[00:29:03] Todd Phillips did this documentary called frat house.
[00:29:07] I think it was after he did the GGL movie where he like, he tries to infiltrate the world
[00:29:15] of like frat hazing.
[00:29:17] Nice.
[00:29:18] And it's fucking great.
[00:29:19] It's on YouTube.
[00:29:20] I'd watch it.
[00:29:21] Yeah.
[00:29:22] It's so fun.
[00:29:23] How about rock frat a tooey.
[00:29:24] And it's okay.
[00:29:25] It's like fucking drink the beer.
[00:29:27] Yeah.
[00:29:28] Drink the beer, bro.
[00:29:30] Hold on.
[00:29:31] I'm about to rape the squirrel.
[00:29:33] No, he's making the guy he's under the guy's hat.
[00:29:37] Well, if he had a frat to do, he needs a break.
[00:29:39] The frat tooey is the joke from last week, but now it has a name.
[00:29:43] Yes.
[00:29:44] Well, no, last week wasn't he gay?
[00:29:46] No, the rabbit's just making him have sex.
[00:29:48] The rabbit's just fucking the guy's hair.
[00:29:51] I don't even think it was last week.
[00:29:53] I think it was three days ago.
[00:29:57] The image of him grabbing on and fucking.
[00:29:59] It's fucking the guy's hair.
[00:30:01] It's fucked teeth.
[00:30:02] That is a very funny image.
[00:30:04] That is a very funny image.
[00:30:07] Frat a tooey.
[00:30:08] Yeah.
[00:30:09] Hell yeah.
[00:30:11] Frat a tooey putting Xanax in a nut for a squirrel to eat.
[00:30:14] Mm hmm.
[00:30:15] Fucking her.
[00:30:16] Hell yeah.
[00:30:17] Frat a tooey wearing all vineyard vines.
[00:30:23] Ah fuck dude.
[00:30:24] I remember in high school my like my best friend was a.
[00:30:27] Do frat still exist?
[00:30:29] Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:30] They do.
[00:30:31] Because it seems like that would be of all the things that we've gotten rid of that you're
[00:30:34] not allowed to do anymore.
[00:30:36] You would think by now they would just be like let's just not do this.
[00:30:39] Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:40] Totally.
[00:30:41] Yeah.
[00:30:42] Totally.
[00:30:43] Stav was a frat president.
[00:30:44] I was a pie capify.
[00:30:46] You do have a frat bro kind of persona.
[00:30:50] Listen man.
[00:30:51] That's what I'm saying.
[00:30:53] That's what I'm saying.
[00:30:54] That's what I'm saying.
[00:30:55] That's what I'm saying.
[00:30:56] That's right.
[00:30:57] Yeah.
[00:30:58] Yeah.
[00:30:59] Yeah.
[00:31:00] Well UMBC was so fucking gay dude you had to just join a shitty frat to have a party.
[00:31:05] Like it wasn't like better parties.
[00:31:07] It was a commuter school though.
[00:31:09] It was horrible.
[00:31:10] It was all like Indian like it was all like people from like like there's a lot of Indian
[00:31:15] like rich kids that came straight from there.
[00:31:18] They said it's like yeah.
[00:31:19] It's like a gang where you have no choice but to join the gang.
[00:31:22] Yep.
[00:31:23] Exactly the same.
[00:31:24] It's the same.
[00:31:25] You've got the same mentality.
[00:31:27] But it was cool because they were all losers and they never made you do anything.
[00:31:30] We just had like but I mean nobody got pussy.
[00:31:33] It sucked.
[00:31:34] It was one of the people who sticks my life.
[00:31:36] You were a no pussy getting frat.
[00:31:37] So there was like one guy who got pussy.
[00:31:38] There were no rapes that happened.
[00:31:39] No.
[00:31:40] We didn't rape.
[00:31:41] You had a zero pussy getting frat.
[00:31:43] It was like there was one guy who got pussy.
[00:31:44] Yeah.
[00:31:45] Yeah.
[00:31:46] And he didn't share it.
[00:31:47] He didn't share dude.
[00:31:48] I knew this kid that went to Towson.
[00:31:52] They raped.
[00:31:53] And he was like dude any time you want just take the fucking bus up to Baltimore come
[00:31:58] down to Towson.
[00:31:59] I got a fucking three foot roar on ice.
[00:32:02] Oh yeah.
[00:32:03] Fucking smoking all day come to A.E.P. where the Jewish frat.
[00:32:06] Oh dude I went to the Jewish frat.
[00:32:09] I went to the Jewish frat rush.
[00:32:10] We can pretend it to be Jewish so I can get free pizza.
[00:32:13] That's very funny.
[00:32:14] I went to their hooters.
[00:32:15] They had a video of a fattitude we moved.
[00:32:18] This is a rat under your hat.
[00:32:21] Let's go pretend to be Jewish to get free pizza.
[00:32:23] Well I got free pizza and I got free wings.
[00:32:25] There's two events.
[00:32:26] Pizza and there was hooters.
[00:32:28] At my college I was not in a frat but there was one frat that was not recognized by the
[00:32:33] university and they were the Jewish frat A.E.P. they got kicked off campus and then they
[00:32:38] changed A.E.P. to A.E.P.E. so they became the apes.
[00:32:44] And then what?
[00:32:45] Then my junior year several of them were kicked out of school for causing nerve damage to
[00:32:52] this kid during their.
[00:32:57] So some people were joining a non-recognized frat.
[00:33:00] It was Jews called the apes.
[00:33:02] They were like it was during a bunch of rich Jews were calling themselves the apes in
[00:33:07] D.C.
[00:33:08] Yes they were like an underground society.
[00:33:11] It was during the Ed Hardy era it was like very like Ed Hardy vibes and yeah and apparently
[00:33:18] they still did hard hazing or whatever it was.
[00:33:21] That's so fucking dangerous.
[00:33:22] You know I didn't know what Ed Hardy was for a while people would.
[00:33:24] I was confused Eddie Bauer and Ed Hardy.
[00:33:27] Oh no.
[00:33:28] And Speedy would shoot on Ed Hardy and I'm like Ed Bauer is great.
[00:33:31] Yeah what are you talking about Ed Hardy?
[00:33:32] What if you have to go camping?
[00:33:33] Yeah.
[00:33:34] Eddie Bauer is got his own Ford Explorer.
[00:33:36] Well that's all I knew Eddie Bauer from his Bronco and Explorer trim off.
[00:33:39] Yeah exactly.
[00:33:40] And let's not forget the line and hit him up tucking my vest under my Eddie Bauer.
[00:33:45] That I don't I don't it's one of Tupac's friends from New Jersey that says that not
[00:33:50] Tupac.
[00:33:51] It's crazy that you could be a guy that's been on like one rap album.
[00:33:56] Yeah like it's funny that I don't remember what that what those guys were called who they
[00:34:00] were that were on hit him up but it's like they just weren't on anything else and they're
[00:34:03] on like the best distract the best distract of all time.
[00:34:07] That guy's a collecting unemployment.
[00:34:11] I think he's dead actually my brother told me I remember going to a jab the Japanese
[00:34:16] open mic in DC.
[00:34:17] Yeah I remember in like 2000 Javelin a five or something.
[00:34:21] That's French for Japanese.
[00:34:22] Yeah and like there was I don't know some open miker but then this guy showed up it was
[00:34:28] one of Ian Sammons friends.
[00:34:32] Oh hell yeah Ian Sammons rocked.
[00:34:34] Yeah Ian was friends because like DC had like black comics from the 80s and early 90s.
[00:34:41] It went on to become like Chappelle was there and yeah and Tommy Davidson won the psychs.
[00:34:48] Yeah and so like all the guys that were open mikers with them were around and we're still
[00:34:52] around and horse man and remember horse man.
[00:34:55] Horse man.
[00:34:56] Horse man's nice guy.
[00:34:57] I like it.
[00:34:58] I like him but so this guy and I'd only seen him once but I guess he was like the original
[00:35:02] host of rap city.
[00:35:03] Oh yeah what's his name.
[00:35:05] Yeah no poo DJ poo.
[00:35:07] I can't remember.
[00:35:08] No there was a guy named Chris Brown.
[00:35:11] Chris not Chris sounds right.
[00:35:13] There's a guy he was originally he was like on the first season of it or something or
[00:35:17] you got replaced.
[00:35:18] The other guy from rap city the basement was like the hype man at wizards games.
[00:35:22] Do you remember?
[00:35:23] I didn't want to a wizard's game.
[00:35:25] During timeouts he'd like hype up the hype up the crowd.
[00:35:28] I don't know why I forget his name.
[00:35:30] So DJ poo is I think he wrote the wash with anyway go ahead Nick.
[00:35:41] Anyway that guy showed up and this one dude was just losing his mind.
[00:35:45] Like as a fan.
[00:35:46] As a fan of this guy.
[00:35:48] That's awesome.
[00:35:49] Which is yeah it's so funny because you think about like people that just sort of like had
[00:35:51] a brush with fame and then they live for moments like that because he was playing it.
[00:35:56] He was playing it cool but you know internally he's like well maybe the guy I'm thinking
[00:36:00] I was I don't think I don't know if it was that guy but there was a guy who like similar
[00:36:03] thing he like hosted death jams for season or something and I don't know who it was but
[00:36:10] they would not put him up on an open mic and I was like Jesus just put the guy up man.
[00:36:15] You remember how these how I was serious they took rules and decent.
[00:36:19] It was like running them like I don't remember rules.
[00:36:21] I never because I never went to like I didn't want my first the first three years there I
[00:36:26] never went to Kurt Schackle for room once ever I didn't start doing Kurt Schackle for
[00:36:31] rooms until we all became friends right and that was right.
[00:36:34] Yeah that was new for me just because it was like I remember he would send those rules
[00:36:38] out I'm like this is fucking gay.
[00:36:40] Yeah absolutely no way I'm doing these open and it was all in comic sense but for a second
[00:36:44] that was those were the only good rooms in DC.
[00:36:47] Yeah like I remember I did I featured at laugh riot at the high.
[00:36:52] Soho was the best open mic back.
[00:36:54] Soho was that that was a journey.
[00:36:56] Yeah that predates you.
[00:36:58] I was crazy yeah we go to that open mic and it would be like Rory Scoville and Aparna
[00:37:02] yeah sheet and Hampton probably.
[00:37:04] It's weird that you know because you talk about like those guys hanging out with fucking
[00:37:07] like Chappelle or whatever.
[00:37:10] Yeah yeah legitimately some of these people were like just famous.
[00:37:13] Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
[00:37:15] I did laugh riot at the high.
[00:37:17] I love it Tony Woods was headlining.
[00:37:19] He rocked.
[00:37:20] He had like a night with him and he was like hey you ever drink grain more than you know
[00:37:24] and I was like no and I was like we got like drunk and I was like this is so cool he's
[00:37:29] the coolest guy ever.
[00:37:30] Yeah this is amazing whatever and so he's like yeah I'll come through my room I'll put
[00:37:34] you up and he had this this room and it was.
[00:37:39] Yes right by the Howard theater.
[00:37:40] By the Howard theater what was it called.
[00:37:42] I remember.
[00:37:43] But this guy that was on real world LA David.
[00:37:49] The black guy I think he got kicked off of real world for like being a misogynist.
[00:37:54] Sure it wasn't real world New Orleans.
[00:37:57] Maybe it was new I forget it was an Eric.
[00:37:59] His name is Eric and he's on real world New Orleans.
[00:38:01] I don't remember.
[00:38:02] No it was a guy David it was like the angry black guy in real world he was also a DC comedian.
[00:38:08] Oh shit hell yeah.
[00:38:10] And he like everyone was like stoked for him to come through and he brought his sister
[00:38:17] and she was just ruining everyone's set.
[00:38:20] She was just drunk and loud and Tony Tony was had to stop the show and he got he proceeded
[00:38:27] to get in this massive fight with this woman and she's like how beat your bitches.
[00:38:32] It's just like the entire thing like to all be like all right next comment coming to the
[00:38:37] stage everyone please welcome Adam Friedland.
[00:38:40] Just bombing.
[00:38:42] You're just doing like Hitler pooped his pants.
[00:38:47] Yeah.
[00:38:48] What if he.
[00:38:50] Oh he looked like Harry Potter.
[00:38:55] Oh he's a hurry Harry Potter.
[00:38:58] Yeah.
[00:38:59] Goddamn god.
[00:39:00] Yeah just like that's a fucking that was a little gas.
[00:39:04] The lions done.
[00:39:05] Alt Adam.
[00:39:06] Oh god.
[00:39:07] We're in a turtle neck probably.
[00:39:09] That material was probably so embarrassing.
[00:39:11] And that room in that room too.
[00:39:15] So so my dad just trying to be like I remember I told my dad friended me on Facebook and
[00:39:25] it's an interested in me.
[00:39:26] I remember that.
[00:39:27] Yeah.
[00:39:28] And I did that there and and that that that guy David's sister was there and she was like
[00:39:35] you're daddy I'll faggot.
[00:39:41] Just like constantly getting up kind of fight people.
[00:39:47] That's awesome.
[00:39:48] I got to look this guy up David big respect for his.
[00:39:51] What's this drop to?
[00:39:52] I don't know.
[00:39:53] She was a was she hot.
[00:39:54] No she was a big lady.
[00:39:56] Big girl.
[00:39:57] Yeah.
[00:39:58] Damn it's always the big women.
[00:39:59] Yeah.
[00:40:00] It's always them.
[00:40:01] They're always causing so much trouble.
[00:40:02] Absolutely brother.
[00:40:04] We're all the women were hot.
[00:40:08] Just imagine.
[00:40:09] Yeah.
[00:40:10] Amen.
[00:40:11] Yeah.
[00:40:12] Yeah it was this dude.
[00:40:13] David I don't I don't I don't I'm not saying that is a hypothetical where all the problems
[00:40:17] are solved.
[00:40:18] I'm just saying just imagine that would be cool.
[00:40:20] That would be really cool.
[00:40:22] It would be nice.
[00:40:24] It's all of all of my problems.
[00:40:25] Mm hmm.
[00:40:26] Absolutely.
[00:40:27] Yeah.
[00:40:28] Yeah.
[00:40:29] Yeah.
[00:40:30] And Edwards at 21 years old he was the first cast member of the real world to be evicted.
[00:40:37] That's fucking for watching these racism.
[00:40:40] That's institutional racism right there in the real world.
[00:40:43] They extended the eviction moratorium for another month.
[00:40:46] I don't know.
[00:40:49] Like what's going to happen with that shit lifts everyone just gets fucking evicted.
[00:40:51] Yeah the courts are just going to have a huge fucking backlog of evictions or whatever.
[00:40:55] Yeah.
[00:40:56] Because it doesn't cancel any of the debt.
[00:40:58] So the landlord can be like okay you owe me a fucking thirteen thousand dollars in rent.
[00:41:04] Yeah.
[00:41:05] I mean like I don't have it.
[00:41:06] Yeah.
[00:41:07] Fuck off chief.
[00:41:08] Yeah.
[00:41:09] What happens if you get evicted?
[00:41:10] Do you have to pay that or you just get evicted?
[00:41:12] Well I mean nobody can make you pay anything except the government I think.
[00:41:18] I mean it's like it's it's particularly hard to get like a lean against somebody.
[00:41:21] Right.
[00:41:22] So you can't like garnish their weight.
[00:41:23] Can they sell you collections though?
[00:41:25] What's that?
[00:41:26] You can put all collections is is just people calling you.
[00:41:29] Yeah.
[00:41:30] It's nothing.
[00:41:31] I mean like it's like if your credit score is fucked up then it might affect your ability
[00:41:34] to like get a little fucking credit.
[00:41:36] Yeah it'll fuck your credit but you know everyone should kill their landlords.
[00:41:41] Get out of it.
[00:41:42] That's right brother.
[00:41:43] Mouse style.
[00:41:44] Yeah.
[00:41:45] Mouse suck dong.
[00:41:46] Mouse style.
[00:41:47] Mouse style.
[00:41:48] Like the Jewish mice.
[00:41:51] Mm hmm.
[00:41:52] Yeah what else is in the news fellas?
[00:41:58] Shit.
[00:41:59] Shit.
[00:42:00] Get bushy.
[00:42:01] Yeah.
[00:42:02] Yeah.
[00:42:03] That's in the news.
[00:42:04] Yeah I thought I saw every time I think I'm gonna go read the news I end up just looking
[00:42:07] at Twitter and seeing people say things that bother me.
[00:42:11] I've been pretty disengaged from Twitter for the last like couple of months.
[00:42:16] It's been nice.
[00:42:17] I just I get bored and I get like you know the things that I have to occupy my time.
[00:42:22] I get bored with.
[00:42:23] I feel like how many guitars do you have?
[00:42:26] At this point I have four.
[00:42:30] And I still can't really finger pick.
[00:42:32] That's so funny too that you spent all that time like haggling with that guy to get one
[00:42:38] guitar.
[00:42:39] You love to get one guitar and now you have four of them.
[00:42:42] Yeah no well I have.
[00:42:43] You can't play any of them.
[00:42:44] I have my guitar that I had for like ten years and then my lady friend has a guitar
[00:42:50] over here and then I have the guitar I bought during quarantine.
[00:42:54] Does she live here now?
[00:42:56] No no she's just hanging.
[00:42:58] Oh okay.
[00:42:59] You know what you should get is that I got my electric.
[00:43:03] Robot girlfriends like in Blade Runner 2049.
[00:43:05] Oh that would be good.
[00:43:06] They got that.
[00:43:07] But they're like holograms.
[00:43:08] They have holograms.
[00:43:09] They have Pussies.
[00:43:10] Yeah.
[00:43:11] I thought they're holograms.
[00:43:12] He's a robot and he gets fucking robot pussy but he gets a different kind of robot pussy.
[00:43:16] Every night.
[00:43:17] Yeah.
[00:43:18] Can you switch up what they look like with the hologram?
[00:43:20] Probably.
[00:43:21] Do you fuck the hologram?
[00:43:23] Well it's a hologram you can't really feel.
[00:43:26] Well do they have the fucking technology in the movie?
[00:43:29] I don't know.
[00:43:30] To fuck it.
[00:43:31] That movie was pretty bad right?
[00:43:32] I feel it's not.
[00:43:33] So what it just gets naked and you jack off.
[00:43:37] What?
[00:43:38] What's the point of a hologram girlfriend?
[00:43:41] Can they make it fucking do stuff?
[00:43:42] I think it's just it's like your birthday is coming up Michael.
[00:43:46] I think it just tell it does.
[00:43:48] Yeah remember it's serious but a hologram.
[00:43:50] I still have serious set the Chinese in my apartment.
[00:43:55] Oh yeah.
[00:43:56] I set it to a Chinese man which is very funny but I don't go off sometimes when I'm on
[00:44:00] the phone and it's annoying.
[00:44:02] Are you learning Chinese?
[00:44:04] I already speak Chinese.
[00:44:06] You're fluent.
[00:44:07] Why don't you hit so shows that make sense to you.
[00:44:10] You don't speak.
[00:44:11] Say a little something for us.
[00:44:14] I will not.
[00:44:15] Come on Nick.
[00:44:16] No it's for me and Siri alone.
[00:44:18] You mean my girlfriend.
[00:44:20] You're in my old series.
[00:44:22] My old series.
[00:44:23] Damn my Chinese man huh.
[00:44:25] You still my girlfriend.
[00:44:26] You hear that Adam?
[00:44:27] Yeah it sounds pretty fun.
[00:44:28] It's very funny.
[00:44:29] Have you ever fucked a rush back?
[00:44:30] You changed Siri to like the Australian guy.
[00:44:33] I have not.
[00:44:34] It's very funny.
[00:44:35] I like that idea.
[00:44:36] Yeah.
[00:44:37] Is there a Greek Siri?
[00:44:38] Probably.
[00:44:39] Oh hell yeah I'm switching up Siri.
[00:44:40] That'll help me get more conversational.
[00:44:42] Yeah.
[00:44:43] I want a Greek wife dude.
[00:44:45] Do you?
[00:44:46] I'm hoping.
[00:44:47] I'm going to go to a Greek from the highlands.
[00:44:49] She can be first generation too.
[00:44:51] Like you.
[00:44:52] Like me.
[00:44:53] Right near the beach.
[00:44:54] Right near the beach.
[00:44:55] You guys remember that?
[00:44:56] Some sun seems sun.
[00:44:58] Half baked.
[00:44:59] Yeah.
[00:45:00] I got the poster baby.
[00:45:01] Yeah you got that from JFOD right?
[00:45:03] Yeah he just forgot that he gave it to me.
[00:45:06] Yeah.
[00:45:07] The cool thing is that Chappelle's message on there has a misspelling.
[00:45:13] Is it to JFOD?
[00:45:14] No it's to the Boston comedy club.
[00:45:17] Right back in the piss.
[00:45:18] That guy what's his name Barry?
[00:45:21] Oh yeah yeah yeah.
[00:45:22] Cats.
[00:45:23] Cats yeah.
[00:45:24] Umm.
[00:45:25] Umm.
[00:45:26] Oh baby I want to.
[00:45:28] Is JFOD back in New York?
[00:45:30] I believe he is.
[00:45:31] I don't know I brought that up on the show.
[00:45:33] I believe he fucks you out to JFOD.
[00:45:36] Shouts out to JFOD.
[00:45:38] John F.O.
[00:45:39] Donald.
[00:45:40] I hear he has a big penis.
[00:45:43] He does seem like a little guy.
[00:45:45] A little guy that has a big dick guy.
[00:45:48] That's an interesting life to have.
[00:45:50] I'd love to be.
[00:45:51] I'm just a little guy.
[00:45:53] You can tell the little guy big dick guy is pretty easily because there's like a certain
[00:46:00] all the hang ups of being a little guy don't seem to bother.
[00:46:04] They're out there up in the air.
[00:46:05] They're so carefree.
[00:46:06] They're carefree.
[00:46:07] Yeah.
[00:46:08] That guy Tyler maybe Tyler Fisher has a big dick.
[00:46:11] He's really you know him.
[00:46:12] Yeah he's so free.
[00:46:13] He's really tiny.
[00:46:14] Yeah.
[00:46:15] But he's free.
[00:46:16] He must have a non-dead.
[00:46:17] He's seeing him perform on stage.
[00:46:18] Yeah.
[00:46:19] He's like yeah he's he's.
[00:46:20] Check out Tyler Fisher guys.
[00:46:21] Very funny guy.
[00:46:22] He probably has a big penis is what we're guessing.
[00:46:24] I think maybe he said that no.
[00:46:26] I don't know.
[00:46:27] Who knows.
[00:46:28] I don't fucking know man.
[00:46:29] Yeah.
[00:46:30] And then you have like I know he's not in the room but you have like little guy little
[00:46:34] penis like Nick like Nick.
[00:46:36] Yeah.
[00:46:37] You can tell because I'm angry is so much evil.
[00:46:39] All the time he's trying to fucking own people online and in real life is because he's mad
[00:46:43] at how little his dick is.
[00:46:45] He's just because he hates the small penis and how much really my heart really goes
[00:46:49] outside.
[00:46:50] I know.
[00:46:51] And it's not nice to talk about him while he's in the bathroom like that.
[00:46:54] Well he's right.
[00:46:56] The most appropriate time he's looking at his little ass dick.
[00:46:58] He's probably in there crying.
[00:47:00] He's in there.
[00:47:01] Looking at it.
[00:47:02] C'mon.
[00:47:03] Yep.
[00:47:04] Every time he pees he has to grow.
[00:47:05] You know how some people have you know some people have coke nail to do coke.
[00:47:08] Oh yeah.
[00:47:09] He has that to scoop up his little ass penis.
[00:47:11] Just using it.
[00:47:13] He just has his left coke nail and he uses it to lift his penis and aim it towards the
[00:47:20] bowl.
[00:47:21] You imagine your penis is so bad that every time you go to pee it makes you cry.
[00:47:24] Yeah.
[00:47:25] I never really imagined that.
[00:47:26] How's it?
[00:47:27] How's your pee dude?
[00:47:28] What's that?
[00:47:29] How's your piss?
[00:47:31] Oh.
[00:47:32] I started watching the video of Will and Jada Pinkett.
[00:47:39] Yeah.
[00:47:40] What's going on there?
[00:47:41] I ended up pissing my pants.
[00:47:42] What video?
[00:47:43] I got distracted at him's house.
[00:47:46] I forgot to pull my penis.
[00:47:48] I was watching the video.
[00:47:52] Will and Sabrina Matthews.
[00:47:54] Wait.
[00:47:55] Where's the view of Will Smith?
[00:47:57] Will and Sabrina Williams.
[00:48:00] They were their twins that are black twins.
[00:48:03] They're black tennis players.
[00:48:05] They're buried.
[00:48:06] I was watching the video and they're getting divorced and I forgot to pull my penis out
[00:48:11] of the way.
[00:48:12] Are they getting bored?
[00:48:13] And I pissed all over myself.
[00:48:14] That's a shame.
[00:48:15] All the hallway there.
[00:48:16] So I just wanted to give you a quick apology there for all the piss I left on your.
[00:48:22] The dog is actually wrapping it up right now.
[00:48:24] My dog likes smelling pisses.
[00:48:26] Basically her favorite thing.
[00:48:27] Do you ever piss?
[00:48:28] Did you dog ever eat your piss?
[00:48:30] I think she prefers dog piss smell.
[00:48:32] She's pulling up as a driver.
[00:48:34] You got any napkins I had pissed all over.
[00:48:37] I don't want any food.
[00:48:40] No food.
[00:48:41] No food.
[00:48:42] Could I get a couple water?
[00:48:43] I was at the right water.
[00:48:44] I pulled up the I came.
[00:48:46] I came.
[00:48:47] I thought this was the parking lot.
[00:48:48] I was going to get out and come inside.
[00:48:50] But I got stuck at the speaker and then I just pissed all over myself here.
[00:48:55] I think it just gets, you just hand me a bunch of napkins.
[00:49:01] Once I'm dry, I'd love to order.
[00:49:03] I just, there's too much piss on me right now.
[00:49:04] The napkins are still free, right?
[00:49:06] Just, yeah, I want to do that.
[00:49:08] Just go in the Costco, no mask on and stand near trying these families until somebody
[00:49:12] starts videotaping me demanding I wear a mask.
[00:49:15] And then just be like, yeah, I just came in here.
[00:49:17] I pissed all over myself.
[00:49:19] And the parking lot.
[00:49:20] I'm sorry.
[00:49:21] I used the mask to soak up some of the piss.
[00:49:23] I was trying to clean it up with the mask, but then I kept pissing.
[00:49:27] Then I go, can't stop.
[00:49:28] Once I start, I can't stop.
[00:49:29] Just go viral.
[00:49:30] People are trying to get me fired.
[00:49:32] No job.
[00:49:33] Just covered in piss.
[00:49:36] Every interview you give, you're more and more saturated with just, just on 2020.
[00:49:42] Just covered in a outfit, more and more piss.
[00:49:45] Tell us again, you, you pissed yourself before you went inside.
[00:49:48] Was this on purpose?
[00:49:49] No, no, no, I just needed to go to the bathroom.
[00:49:52] And I was watching this Will and Plinko Smith video.
[00:49:57] They got, they were married, they were black marriage is what they're just calling it
[00:50:03] on the news.
[00:50:04] Now they're doing, I guess, a black style divorce where they sit at a table and they
[00:50:10] do sort of like a death jam back and forth.
[00:50:12] Because they don't actually have courts.
[00:50:16] Thank you.
[00:50:17] Thank you.
[00:50:23] Apparently, yeah, black, they call them black Twitter.
[00:50:26] They don't have their own, they don't have police or laws or so when they get divorced,
[00:50:31] you got to do a rap battle.
[00:50:33] You have to have a battle.
[00:50:34] You got to have a rap battle.
[00:50:35] They do a cipher.
[00:50:36] They get the stuff.
[00:50:37] They get all the assets.
[00:50:38] Yeah.
[00:50:39] Uh huh.
[00:50:40] I have no idea what's going on.
[00:50:42] So they cheated on each other.
[00:50:44] I keep seeing this video and it's like Will Smith either looks sad or 57 years old.
[00:50:48] I can't tell the difference.
[00:50:49] Yeah, I think both.
[00:50:50] Yeah.
[00:50:51] It's because celebrities, they don't wait, they did no part of them ages except their
[00:50:55] soul.
[00:50:56] So their eyes just turn like glassy and watery and then the rest of them is the same.
[00:51:01] Looks good.
[00:51:02] It's youthful.
[00:51:03] You know, from what I understand and I've done no research, this is just a couple of
[00:51:06] people on Twitch said this.
[00:51:08] That Jada Pinkett fucked some guy and abused him and Will Smith fucked Margot Robbie.
[00:51:14] Really?
[00:51:15] I thought he was gay.
[00:51:16] Listen, Margot Robbie is hot enough.
[00:51:19] Even gay guys probably.
[00:51:20] I guess so.
[00:51:22] Isn't that like the common belief about Scientology?
[00:51:24] Is that a bunch of gay guys?
[00:51:26] It's just a bunch of gay guys.
[00:51:27] I think for the most part that's true Tom Cruise, Will Smith.
[00:51:30] John Chirholt.
[00:51:31] It would make sense.
[00:51:32] I mean the fucking...
[00:51:33] Although Hyde from that 70 show is a straight rapist and he's a Scientologist.
[00:51:37] Yeah.
[00:51:38] Well, they were like, we're less than we're going to need you to take one for the team.
[00:51:42] Everybody thinks we're gay.
[00:51:43] We need to have ultra heterosexual sex.
[00:51:47] We need the guy with a poor his career.
[00:51:49] We need you to have the straightest kind of sex there is.
[00:51:52] Listen.
[00:51:53] Raping multiple women.
[00:51:54] Danny Masterson, you're not really working these days.
[00:51:57] Yeah.
[00:51:58] Oh yeah.
[00:51:59] If you don't...
[00:52:00] Listen, we didn't get the pilot so you're...
[00:52:01] We got the rape detail in Scientology.
[00:52:04] Right.
[00:52:05] But she did that or you got to fucking design some new little nautical uniform.
[00:52:08] I thought he was such a cool character when I was in Forsto.
[00:52:11] Oh dude, when you're a little ass kid you're like, I want to be homin' to have sideburns.
[00:52:15] Yeah.
[00:52:16] I'm gonna have chops.
[00:52:17] I'm still not going to get pushed by even hiding really fuck either.
[00:52:20] I'm like, when I finally shave my beard I might just go just big stupid butt chops.
[00:52:24] Oh my gosh.
[00:52:25] That's cool dude.
[00:52:26] That's a good look.
[00:52:27] That's a good look.
[00:52:28] So bad.
[00:52:29] Yeah.
[00:52:30] No, but leave him long on the sides.
[00:52:31] Just shave my chin.
[00:52:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:52:33] It's just have long dumb ass civil war.
[00:52:34] I'm gonna have that one be so good.
[00:52:36] Look at like Chester A. Arthur.
[00:52:38] Yeah.
[00:52:39] Dude, that's such a good look.
[00:52:40] Brest-Brest-Brest-A. Arthur.
[00:52:41] That's what they used to call him.
[00:52:43] Because he had those fat fucking titties.
[00:52:45] Yeah.
[00:52:46] His wife used to titty fucking with a fucking ivory build down.
[00:52:48] How did he die?
[00:52:49] He got shot and then the president's doctor at the time was like, we're putting fucking
[00:52:54] cat shit in it.
[00:52:55] Yeah, yeah.
[00:52:56] Yeah, yeah.
[00:52:57] They're like, we're gonna let this ride.
[00:52:58] She would happen by tomorrow.
[00:52:59] The president used to die all the time.
[00:53:02] Not really.
[00:53:03] Yeah, McKinley.
[00:53:05] It's like five guys.
[00:53:06] William Henry Harrison.
[00:53:08] Named three more bucks.
[00:53:09] He got a cold at the inauguration.
[00:53:11] Yeah.
[00:53:12] Bitch ass.
[00:53:13] That's what I thought.
[00:53:15] Some other guys died.
[00:53:16] FDR.
[00:53:17] Yeah, you don't know shit about fuck, boy.
[00:53:20] No, don't.
[00:53:21] That's three.
[00:53:22] Any more you dumb bitch?
[00:53:23] You don't know shit about anything.
[00:53:25] I don't know shit about fuck you, right?
[00:53:28] We've got bad news.
[00:53:30] We've written this.
[00:53:33] What do you think Nixon did after he got fucking shit canned?
[00:53:36] I'm gonna go.
[00:53:37] I don't know if guys.
[00:53:40] Oh, I am not a gay sex.
[00:53:45] I am not straight.
[00:53:48] I am not a straight man.
[00:53:50] Dick Moss boss, baby.
[00:53:51] Dick Moss boss.
[00:53:52] I don't even remember the genesis of that.
[00:53:56] Me neither, man.
[00:53:57] We went out on that pond and then it was like, we were really in the zone.
[00:54:02] If you got language sort of breaks down and it's just raw bits.
[00:54:06] Raw understanding what's funny.
[00:54:08] Just not even like.
[00:54:10] Just basically Richard Nixon who's either gay or rape.
[00:54:13] Yeah, it's both.
[00:54:15] Bust plus.
[00:54:16] Bust plus.
[00:54:17] Yeah, boost, boost.
[00:54:18] And then, and then like earnestly landing on the idea that we should write an entire five
[00:54:25] act Shakespearean play around a character named Dick Sockrio.
[00:54:29] That's right.
[00:54:31] That's a good idea.
[00:54:34] All we had to do was Dick Sockrio.
[00:54:37] That is no, not even a premise.
[00:54:40] Just saying the name.
[00:54:43] And then thinking.
[00:54:44] Oh, Dick Sockrio.
[00:54:45] We should write that.
[00:54:47] Honestly, dude, we should write Dick Sockrio.
[00:54:51] Yeah.
[00:54:52] Just the dumbest action movie set in Roman times.
[00:54:54] Yeah.
[00:54:55] We got something on our hands.
[00:54:56] That was a nice day out.
[00:54:57] Just running up the women and asking them to take our picture.
[00:55:02] Just clearly ignoring 19 other people that run up to a hot woman.
[00:55:06] Like, you take a picture of us.
[00:55:08] Yeah.
[00:55:09] And ma'am, excuse me ma'am, can you please take a picture of my man, friend?
[00:55:14] We're on vacation from America.
[00:55:16] Here to beautiful French Canada.
[00:55:19] Dick Sockrio.
[00:55:20] Damn, I forgot all about Dick Sockrio, man.
[00:55:23] Dude, I miss being on tour.
[00:55:25] I miss my life, dude.
[00:55:26] I hate this bitch-ass pandemic.
[00:55:28] Yeah.
[00:55:29] It's never going to end either.
[00:55:30] I say a clip of fucking De Blasio on Wolf Blitzer.
[00:55:34] No.
[00:55:35] Which, like, I mean, it's CNN or whatever.
[00:55:37] But like, the degree in which they're just tossing him a fucking...
[00:55:40] No question.
[00:55:42] When Wolf Blitzer is like, oh, you know, like what's going to be shut down?
[00:55:46] He's like, you know, like parades and stuff that you go outside for.
[00:55:53] We can't do...
[00:55:54] That's what De Blasio sounds like.
[00:55:55] That's true.
[00:55:56] Yeah.
[00:55:57] Yeah.
[00:55:58] Is the mayor in the room?
[00:55:59] Yeah.
[00:56:00] We can't do this stuff that we're used to.
[00:56:04] You know, so he's canceled every all-counter mass gatherings in Blitzer.
[00:56:07] He's like, what about protests?
[00:56:08] He's like, worst, you can still have protests.
[00:56:11] Yeah.
[00:56:12] You might as well have a parade.
[00:56:14] The fuck you have, no, nothing.
[00:56:16] But I mean, it's like, there's a difference between being like, look, there's nothing
[00:56:19] we can do about it.
[00:56:20] You know, there's nothing we can do about fucking protesting.
[00:56:24] It's like, we're going to try and stop a protest for police brutality and I make the police
[00:56:28] crack down on him.
[00:56:29] It's going to make the problem a million times worse.
[00:56:32] It's like, you know, I just have to weather the criticisms of fucking bad management or
[00:56:36] whatever.
[00:56:37] He's like, no, it's a historic moment.
[00:56:39] That's good.
[00:56:40] And those protests are, you know, important.
[00:56:41] It's important that they happen or whatever.
[00:56:43] And then Wolf Blitzer is like, okay, sounds good.
[00:56:47] No problems there, mayor.
[00:56:49] Just fucking...
[00:56:50] That's it.
[00:56:52] The Suckuation Room with Dick Suckster.
[00:56:56] Mm-hmm.
[00:56:57] You think of that, Adam?
[00:56:59] I think it's good.
[00:57:00] The situation room.
[00:57:01] The situation with Dick Suckster with Wolf, with ass fuckedster.
[00:57:08] Hello and welcome to the situation room.
[00:57:11] I shit my pants coming up in 20 minutes.
[00:57:14] Will I wipe or not?
[00:57:18] You've got Sanjay Gupta coming on and he's going to shit his pants.
[00:57:24] Wolf.
[00:57:25] Still the coolest name for a Jew all time.
[00:57:28] Wolf Blitzer.
[00:57:29] So insane.
[00:57:30] How did he get Wolf?
[00:57:31] He changed it, right?
[00:57:32] No, Wolf is...
[00:57:33] Yeah, that's an old...
[00:57:34] Is that a bit of a name?
[00:57:35] Is that in the Bible?
[00:57:37] Wolfie.
[00:57:38] Wolfie, the guy who gets pussy.
[00:57:39] No.
[00:57:40] The only guy in the Torah that ever got pussy.
[00:57:41] It's kind of like...
[00:57:42] I don't know.
[00:57:43] It's...
[00:57:44] Yiddishy, I think.
[00:57:45] Wolf.
[00:57:46] Wolfie.
[00:57:47] Wolf, shit sir, and this is the situation room.
[00:57:51] Once again, I've shit myself coming up.
[00:57:52] We have former press secretary...
[00:57:56] John Spies.
[00:57:57] No, it's just a piece of turd with kugli eyes on it that I won't eat.
[00:58:03] Oh, he eats the shit.
[00:58:05] He eats the shit.
[00:58:06] With the show where all of my guests are little pieces of shit that I...
[00:58:10] I smear them all over my face and I go, mmm, delicious.
[00:58:14] Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, the situation.
[00:58:19] We have Mara de Blasio will be on shitting directly into my mouth, and I will say, thank
[00:58:25] you, Mr. de Blasio.
[00:58:27] Then I'm going to throw up all over a picture of Donald Trump.
[00:58:31] That was so funny.
[00:58:33] You were watching that fucking video and the guy said that...
[00:58:36] What were you saying?
[00:58:37] That there's like...
[00:58:38] What video was it?
[00:58:39] Who's watching this video about the Wayfair shit?
[00:58:43] And the guy said that...
[00:58:45] He's like a Q and on guy?
[00:58:46] Yeah, and he said that there's like a program
[00:58:48] that's been used to Photoshop Donald Trump
[00:58:50] into every Epstein picture.
[00:58:51] Yeah, he's like, yeah.
[00:58:52] He's like, this guy's fucking going through
[00:58:55] the Wayfair photos.
[00:58:56] I just saw it on Twitter a minute ago.
[00:58:59] And he's like, you know, like all of these,
[00:59:00] they Photoshop, this is all, he's like,
[00:59:02] you can use this software that tells you
[00:59:03] if your picture's been Photoshopped or not.
[00:59:06] It tells if the pixels have been messed with.
[00:59:10] And he's like, which by the way, you know,
[00:59:12] every picture of Trump and Epstein you put in there.
[00:59:15] Just as an aside.
[00:59:18] That fucking rocks, dude.
[00:59:19] Every single picture's been Photoshopped.
[00:59:23] It's awesome that like, it doesn't even matter
[00:59:25] if anything is true anymore.
[00:59:26] Yeah.
[00:59:29] There's no truth.
[00:59:30] Well, that's what I mean.
[00:59:31] But that affects everybody.
[00:59:33] Yeah.
[00:59:33] It's just the amount of like, I mean,
[00:59:35] it's weird cause it's like, it makes you feel like
[00:59:37] a dumb, you know, cynical teenager or whatever.
[00:59:41] Yeah.
[00:59:42] It's like everybody's the media lies.
[00:59:45] But the extent in which that's true now
[00:59:48] is that like a Bart Simpson level of disinformation.
[00:59:52] Dude, if they kill Galain just exactly the same way
[00:59:57] that's gonna be.
[00:59:58] I don't think they will.
[00:59:59] I think it's like she'll hand over enough people
[01:00:01] that they can cut ties with.
[01:00:03] But it's also going to be a thing
[01:00:04] where we'll just like look at it like fireworks and go, wow.
[01:00:08] Yeah, on to the next two.
[01:00:09] I think they are.
[01:00:10] And then it'll be, you know, I mean,
[01:00:12] look at the abuses of the Catholic church,
[01:00:14] which were never really addressed.
[01:00:16] No.
[01:00:17] And continue.
[01:00:18] A couple guys had to like, like,
[01:00:20] they paid the couple signs.
[01:00:21] Another happened.
[01:00:22] And then people were like, well, you know that.
[01:00:23] But we already, we already saw that evil
[01:00:26] and moved on from it.
[01:00:27] It's like, it's just gonna be another thing.
[01:00:29] We've seen spotlight.
[01:00:30] Another institution or not even,
[01:00:33] we'll not even know the extent or scope of the thing.
[01:00:36] Yeah, it's a shadow institution.
[01:00:37] Yeah.
[01:00:38] Only for fucking children.
[01:00:40] If it turned out that Israel was running
[01:00:43] a child fucking operation through Gee Lane
[01:00:46] and Jeffrey Epstein to get fucking like,
[01:00:48] Coppermann on diplomats and literally like,
[01:00:51] Pro Palestine.
[01:00:52] And, or anybody.
[01:00:54] No, or any other.
[01:00:54] They were just raping,
[01:00:56] trafficking, raping children.
[01:00:58] They would not see a single fucking like dollar
[01:01:01] come out of the budget.
[01:01:02] That is, no, for sure.
[01:01:05] Nothing would change.
[01:01:06] Literally nothing would fucking change.
[01:01:08] People would be like, oh my God, what?
[01:01:11] Come on.
[01:01:12] It's like nothing ever really took that level of change.
[01:01:18] It doesn't matter.
[01:01:18] It's not gonna fucking happen.
[01:01:20] I know.
[01:01:20] Look how long it took to change the name of the Redskins.
[01:01:23] I know.
[01:01:23] And that's just the name of a team.
[01:01:25] Totally.
[01:01:26] It's crazy how fucking long it's been.
[01:01:28] Like, it's literally just a fucking Indian
[01:01:31] whose skin is red as fuck.
[01:01:33] And it's a slur.
[01:01:35] It's like 2020.
[01:01:38] And they're still sort of fighting it.
[01:01:41] Like they're not, I mean, it's gonna happen now.
[01:01:43] That's why, man, I told you,
[01:01:45] like black pulled me more than anything
[01:01:46] because Subway Jared.
[01:01:47] Yeah.
[01:01:48] Yeah.
[01:01:50] Even the fucking Subway guy gets child.
[01:01:52] The Subway guy being protected his entire career
[01:01:55] just raping children.
[01:01:56] And he's some dude who like to had to buy new pants.
[01:01:59] He's not even care as mad as he was fat.
[01:02:03] And he's not anymore.
[01:02:04] Yeah, the ads weren't good.
[01:02:05] No.
[01:02:07] Maybe he lost the weight because he was afraid
[01:02:09] of being caught as a pedophile.
[01:02:11] He's not even too much like a classified pedophile.
[01:02:12] Somebody was gonna recognize.
[01:02:14] It needs a new look.
[01:02:15] Oh, that's a pedophile.
[01:02:16] And he's on TV all the time.
[01:02:18] And he's like, no, it's from the sandwiches.
[01:02:20] That's why just sweating out fucking 35,000 calories a day.
[01:02:25] Oh, wait, maybe he's innocent.
[01:02:31] He was downloading the child porn to be nervous
[01:02:34] that he might get caught.
[01:02:35] So he sweats until he drops the weight.
[01:02:38] Oh, yeah, that's a good price.
[01:02:40] That's a possibility to get so.
[01:02:43] You get so anxious.
[01:02:44] Get so anxious.
[01:02:45] Wait, looking at child.
[01:02:48] Not looking just downloading.
[01:02:49] Yeah, it's on your,
[01:02:50] it's gonna be funny if instead of,
[01:02:52] because it's bullshit that Subway
[01:02:53] could make you lose weight.
[01:02:54] Everybody knows that now.
[01:02:56] So they have the new mascot
[01:02:57] and it's a guy that shows,
[01:02:59] it looks like Subway Jared, but he's not fat
[01:03:01] and he's walking on his way to Subway
[01:03:02] and there's a huge piss stain on the front of his pants.
[01:03:05] And then they show him now
[01:03:06] and he's holding up the pants of piss all over them.
[01:03:08] And he's wearing pants that aren't piss.
[01:03:10] And he's like, I'm Subway John.
[01:03:13] And yeah, basically I used to just piss myself.
[01:03:16] All the time.
[01:03:17] But they love me use the bathroom at Subway,
[01:03:19] but not, they don't have a drive through.
[01:03:21] So that was my main problem is I would go to McDonald's.
[01:03:24] I go to Wendy's and I get stuck in the drive through.
[01:03:27] And then I'm discovered and pissed
[01:03:29] by the time I get up to the napkin window.
[01:03:32] So basically, yeah, just eat Subway
[01:03:35] and you stop pitching your pants.
[01:03:37] But Subway, you can go inside
[01:03:39] and they let you use the bathroom in there.
[01:03:41] So as you can see, yeah, I keep the pants with the piss on them
[01:03:44] just as a reminder.
[01:03:46] Yep. How far I've come.
[01:03:47] Yeah, just him it a fair holding up the pants.
[01:03:50] They smell awful.
[01:03:52] Like putrid piss.
[01:03:55] Subway don't piss.
[01:03:56] Don't piss your pants.
[01:03:58] They're still.
[01:03:59] Subway stop, piss your pants.
[01:04:01] No more pissing.
[01:04:02] Stop pissing.
[01:04:03] It's different every time.
[01:04:07] No more pissing.
[01:04:09] You're a patient.
[01:04:10] So welcome to Subway.
[01:04:12] If you would like to use the bathroom,
[01:04:14] please go ahead so you do not piss yourself.
[01:04:17] That would be smart.
[01:04:20] Someone's got to be the bathroom fast food corporation.
[01:04:24] Yeah.
[01:04:25] Suck boy, fuck ass.
[01:04:28] You think on animated shows now,
[01:04:30] how long do you think it's going to be
[01:04:31] where somebody, a black person,
[01:04:33] doesn't get a job because the character is in black
[01:04:36] on an animated show?
[01:04:38] Oh, so you're saying that they have to make
[01:04:40] all the characters black?
[01:04:41] Well, no, I mean, black guy was voicing a white guy,
[01:04:44] but he can't do it as well.
[01:04:46] Well, yeah, that was like he applies to the job.
[01:04:48] And they're like, well, it's just, it would seem like a racer
[01:04:51] because the character is white.
[01:04:52] When I changed the character.
[01:04:53] It's offensive to white people.
[01:04:54] I'm sorry, but he's a sponge.
[01:04:56] She's not a Chinese, so you can't play him.
[01:04:58] Yeah.
[01:05:01] Yeah, it would be funny if they just,
[01:05:02] they line up the skin color with SpongeBob too.
[01:05:06] Yeah.
[01:05:06] So now it's like Patrick's some fucking sunburned fat guy.
[01:05:11] SpongeBob would have to be, I guess, Chinese, racistly.
[01:05:14] It'd be funny if whoever does the voice for Mario Kart
[01:05:17] is in America, just like a white guy being like,
[01:05:20] I can no longer in good conscience play Donkey Kong.
[01:05:24] Oh, no.
[01:05:25] LAUGHTER
[01:05:29] Who are they going to give the job to, instead?
[01:05:32] There you go.
[01:05:33] Yeah.
[01:05:35] They should go to an actual monkey.
[01:05:41] Stop, wait.
[01:05:43] Let me show you.
[01:05:44] They're so busy now.
[01:05:47] You should piss my pants.
[01:05:48] I don't know.
[01:05:49] I don't know.
[01:05:51] Now these Indian guys, let me pee.
[01:05:53] Mooji went out of business.
[01:05:54] We were just talking about some of those.
[01:05:55] Mooji did?
[01:05:56] Yeah, and that was my stock pick last week.
[01:05:58] That was my big stock pick on the show.
[01:06:00] Oh, really?
[01:06:00] Oh, I'm getting into stocks, I told you.
[01:06:02] What?
[01:06:03] Fucks time.
[01:06:03] I tried texting you about it.
[01:06:05] Nick says he's not interested in stocks.
[01:06:06] Fucks stocks.
[01:06:07] You know what?
[01:06:08] I'm done with it.
[01:06:10] I'm done with the rat race.
[01:06:11] I like that, dude.
[01:06:13] Yeah.
[01:06:14] You're taking your tie off.
[01:06:15] Time to buy that fucking cabin, dude.
[01:06:17] I don't know.
[01:06:18] Cabin in the woods.
[01:06:19] I'm ready to be broke again and then have projects.
[01:06:22] You know.
[01:06:24] The real rat race.
[01:06:27] Yeah.
[01:06:28] Do they have rat races?
[01:06:29] Do they have that in Vegas?
[01:06:31] Yes.
[01:06:31] Yeah.
[01:06:32] You could put it on a rat race.
[01:06:33] You could go bet on the rats.
[01:06:34] Yeah.
[01:06:38] Nice day out at the rat track.
[01:06:40] They have a, yeah.
[01:06:42] One casino is a movie rat race.
[01:06:45] It's about Jewish people.
[01:06:47] Mm-hmm.
[01:06:48] It's just coming.
[01:06:52] I think we're outside of theater.
[01:06:55] Did you see a movie called rat race?
[01:06:58] You're like, what's that about Jewish people?
[01:07:02] Oh, that's the whole, you know, that there was more.
[01:07:05] But I see it's an rat race.
[01:07:07] It's an adjective.
[01:07:09] It's an anti-Semite.
[01:07:11] The rat race.
[01:07:12] The rat race.
[01:07:13] The rat, the Jew rat race.
[01:07:16] Yeah.
[01:07:17] What the fuck?
[01:07:19] There's a bunch of beans in this.
[01:07:22] Just in the line to see Matrix 2.
[01:07:25] And that's on the fucking marquee and you're like damn.
[01:07:29] Well, that's fucked up.
[01:07:30] Brutal, I guess maybe it's a sequel to The Penis or something.
[01:07:37] You know what would be, you know, you guys see those memes.
[01:07:39] They're all like the villain, the real villain.
[01:07:42] Oh yeah.
[01:07:43] Well, a good one would have been the villain and it's just pick literally whatever you
[01:07:46] want and then the real villain and then it's Jews.
[01:07:49] Mm-hmm.
[01:07:50] Yeah.
[01:07:51] I didn't do it, but that would be good.
[01:07:52] That would have been a good one.
[01:07:53] And people are getting mad about anti-Semitism this week.
[01:07:56] Why?
[01:07:57] Oh yeah, Steven Jackson and DeShawn Jackson.
[01:08:00] Oh yeah.
[01:08:01] DeShawn Jackson thought he was quoting Hitler, but it was just, so he thought he was quoting
[01:08:06] Hitler and he did it anyway.
[01:08:08] But it happened to just be an anti-Semitic thing.
[01:08:10] I didn't see the original post, so I don't even know.
[01:08:12] Yeah, well, I didn't see it either, but I know that he thought he was quoting Hitler.
[01:08:16] I think it was the same thing as that guy that ran that NFAC thing posted.
[01:08:21] What's that?
[01:08:22] The NFAC, I don't know, it was like trending last week, but they did some kind of demonstration.
[01:08:27] It's basically like a black militia and they did a demonstration at Stone Mountain, but
[01:08:32] they're like black nationalists.
[01:08:36] So the whole, he's like, fuck, Black Lives Matter.
[01:08:39] Yeah.
[01:08:40] You know, it's like, we'll kill anybody that kills black people, but then it became this
[01:08:44] black on black crime thing.
[01:08:46] Because there was also, I guess, like, there was a eight-year-old that got shot or something
[01:08:52] in Atlanta and then the head of that thing made this video about, like, we got to find
[01:08:56] him and kill, we got to find this guy and get him.
[01:09:01] And then he says, and if you can't find him, do what the police do.
[01:09:04] And he brother that looks like him.
[01:09:06] Oh my God.
[01:09:08] I have no idea.
[01:09:09] But it was weird because they posted a video and they had like, they were like 300 deep.
[01:09:14] Nice.
[01:09:15] And this guy at the front of the thing seems to be like a, like a fucking like moron,
[01:09:20] like a complete idiot.
[01:09:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:09:22] Because these videos where he's like, he ran for president two years ago.
[01:09:25] Fuck yeah.
[01:09:26] And it's just him like in a nice suit at like, you know, community board, 15 meeting or whatever
[01:09:33] where we brought in local business, pretend business owners to address something.
[01:09:38] And then he gives his like campaign speech and takes a video.
[01:09:41] But because he's sitting at a table with a bunch of other board people, it like gives
[01:09:45] it some, and he just rambles for like 15 minutes.
[01:09:48] Oh yeah.
[01:09:49] His videos are pretty funny actually.
[01:09:50] If you watch him, I think his name's like John Fitzgerald Johnson.
[01:09:56] That's a, that's a pretty Irish black.
[01:09:58] Yeah.
[01:09:59] The black Irish.
[01:10:00] Yeah.
[01:10:01] And I don't remember the guy from the mask, the villain from the mask.
[01:10:20] He was in it.
[01:10:21] Peter Green.
[01:10:22] His name was Peter Green.
[01:10:24] He's in the mask.
[01:10:25] That guy is good.
[01:10:26] How about that?
[01:10:27] I like seeing that guy and stuff.
[01:10:29] He most recently was in the Hulk also.
[01:10:32] He was most recently in a viral video breaking up a fight on like Fifth Avenue.
[01:10:36] Really?
[01:10:37] Yeah.
[01:10:38] That rocks.
[01:10:39] He had like a drug problem or something.
[01:10:40] He kind of got out of it.
[01:10:41] He's like, well, his face got fucked up.
[01:10:42] Yeah.
[01:10:43] He's like a Tom Sizemore guy where he, but I mean, Tom Sizemore is crazy.
[01:10:46] His career trajectory.
[01:10:47] Talk about blowing it.
[01:10:49] Oh yeah.
[01:10:50] Tom Sizemore's career is the fucking ends come in every color guy.
[01:10:55] Tom, if you wanted to have a summary of his career, he's like, you know, he's like,
[01:10:59] career in 30 seconds.
[01:11:02] It's the guy screaming.
[01:11:03] Huge acclaim.
[01:11:04] Everyone's attention.
[01:11:05] And words come in every color in the middle of Philadelphia during Black Lives Matter
[01:11:10] really.
[01:11:11] Yeah.
[01:11:12] I mean, I guess if you, it's funny because that video is like as close as Philadelphia
[01:11:16] will ever get to race relations.
[01:11:18] That's as good as it gets.
[01:11:21] I haven't seen this video.
[01:11:23] Yeah, you did.
[01:11:24] But wait, was that just me and you?
[01:11:25] Was that an episode?
[01:11:26] No.
[01:11:27] I think I might have been not on the show.
[01:11:28] I think it was.
[01:11:29] Yeah.
[01:11:30] I feel like we were here.
[01:11:31] Was it like there was like those white guys in the South Philly?
[01:11:34] Is that what it was?
[01:11:35] No, there was a Black Lives Matter protest and there was a, there's some like, I mean,
[01:11:39] like a homeless guy or something.
[01:11:41] I don't know.
[01:11:42] Just like just some bomb that probably was just in a 7 11 and then saw a bunch of people
[01:11:48] outside and started screaming.
[01:11:50] But he's like, he's like, we have to overcome this.
[01:11:55] You know, just bullshit.
[01:11:56] Just bullshit and people are like, yeah, you know, listen to him.
[01:12:00] And he's like, this isn't about George Floyd.
[01:12:03] And then people's like starts back off.
[01:12:05] And then he says, and or it's coming.
[01:12:08] Yeah.
[01:12:09] And then he starts just screaming like, boom, come in every color.
[01:12:14] You can hear people turn.
[01:12:17] They're like, what?
[01:12:18] Boo.
[01:12:19] And he just keeps saying, boo.
[01:12:21] He's just like a message.
[01:12:23] He just gets shouted someone on a megaphone just drowns him out.
[01:12:27] And what makes it so funny is that like it with the video wouldn't be funny if someone
[01:12:31] came up and knocked him out.
[01:12:33] They just kind of like just quiet.
[01:12:35] Like you can see the hook pull him off.
[01:12:36] Yeah.
[01:12:37] Yeah.
[01:12:38] Yeah.
[01:12:39] That's the end of it for you.
[01:12:41] That guy rocked.
[01:12:42] Yeah.
[01:12:43] Oh, yeah.
[01:12:44] Just had had the floor.
[01:12:45] Was he a black guy?
[01:12:46] No, no, it's a black guy.
[01:12:48] Okay.
[01:12:49] Of course, you was.
[01:12:50] Just some guy eating 711 hot dogs.
[01:12:54] And you feel bad for him because it's like there's no malice beyond what he's saying.
[01:12:57] No, he's trying to like he's trying his best.
[01:13:00] He's trying to be inspirational.
[01:13:02] But he, you know, he lives behind the bus stop.
[01:13:05] Yeah.
[01:13:06] Visor.
[01:13:07] He's like, finally, the world can accept someone like me.
[01:13:10] And the answer is still no.
[01:13:12] There's, I'm sorry.
[01:13:13] There's no room for you in the socialist utopia.
[01:13:16] There'll still be some kind of homeless, but maybe you get better bread.
[01:13:22] Yeah.
[01:13:23] Maybe we can find your socialism.
[01:13:24] Everybody gets Chabata.
[01:13:25] Uh huh.
[01:13:26] Yeah.
[01:13:27] That's my view.
[01:13:28] That's my, that's my vision.
[01:13:29] Everyone gets a fucking charcuterie board.
[01:13:31] That sounds good.
[01:13:34] Some prejit.
[01:13:35] Prejit.
[01:13:36] Some hard cheese.
[01:13:38] Is that what you want?
[01:13:39] Do you want, do you want like a full social or like communist revolution?
[01:13:42] No, I don't know, man.
[01:13:44] I think we can start with some healthcare.
[01:13:47] Can we though?
[01:13:48] Yeah.
[01:13:49] Can we?
[01:13:50] It ain't happening.
[01:13:51] When's that kind of fucking happen?
[01:13:52] I don't know.
[01:13:53] We're not getting shit.
[01:13:54] I don't know, man.
[01:13:55] I'm moving to Greece once comedy is over.
[01:13:57] That's right, dude.
[01:13:59] We're all going back to Greece.
[01:14:00] Yeah.
[01:14:01] We're going to China.
[01:14:02] I'm a fucking citizen.
[01:14:03] I could go back.
[01:14:04] I want to go to China and then figure out their entertainment industry and picture show
[01:14:08] like the Americans, but it's called the Chinese.
[01:14:12] And just in his excuse to have like an hour long weekly drama where my eyes are taped
[01:14:16] back and they're still going to there.
[01:14:19] They haven't gotten to that part of racism yet.
[01:14:21] Yeah, right.
[01:14:22] They think it's sick.
[01:14:23] And they just, yeah.
[01:14:24] And I'm just, it's me and Kerry Russell pretending to be.
[01:14:28] You get Kerry Russell involved.
[01:14:30] Yes.
[01:14:31] She's great.
[01:14:32] It's pretending to be a Chinese couple and deep, and deep cover and Beijing.
[01:14:35] I love it.
[01:14:36] Just my eyes.
[01:14:37] It's just too clearly white people with fucking.
[01:14:39] I said, yeah, the dossier has been playing.
[01:14:43] We have 24 hours to get Marcus out of here.
[01:14:48] You know who was on the Americans?
[01:14:49] Evan Williams.
[01:14:50] Yeah, Scott, he was.
[01:14:51] He was.
[01:14:52] He was.
[01:14:53] He got stabbed in the neck.
[01:14:54] They shot an episode of the Americans in your asshole.
[01:14:57] Am I asshole?
[01:14:58] They did.
[01:14:59] I remember that.
[01:15:00] They wanted, they couldn't get Lared Caverns.
[01:15:02] They needed the next best thing.
[01:15:07] Something that had been blown out.
[01:15:08] The shot at Herbert Von King Park.
[01:15:10] And that's the other thing that's cool about the show.
[01:15:12] It's all supposed to take place in DC, but they make zero effort to make any of the establishing
[01:15:18] shots look anything close to DC.
[01:15:20] It's like in the background, there's always like Queen's Pizza.
[01:15:23] It's like all clearly just like sunny side or whatever.
[01:15:28] But yeah, they shot some of it in Herbert Von King because I was walking around and like
[01:15:33] the whole street was just cars from like 1981.
[01:15:37] And I started having like an autistic fit.
[01:15:40] Yeah.
[01:15:41] That's your favorite shit.
[01:15:42] Well, it was overload.
[01:15:43] I don't know if it's my favorite shit, but I was like, I was like, damn nice.
[01:15:47] And I was like, wait a minute.
[01:15:48] Nice.
[01:15:49] Oh, wow.
[01:15:50] Nice.
[01:15:51] Nice.
[01:15:52] Nice.
[01:15:53] Like that scene from Night at the Roxbury, which I'm sure you're all familiar with.
[01:15:55] Yeah.
[01:15:56] They overheat.
[01:15:57] Once they get into the Roxbury, they keep going, sup, sup, sup, sup.
[01:16:02] And then Night at the Sucks, Coxbury.
[01:16:04] I think that back.
[01:16:05] That's where Adam goes.
[01:16:06] That's good.
[01:16:07] That's what I've got, Adam's first.
[01:16:08] But they won't.
[01:16:09] Every night that I watch.
[01:16:10] But they won't let me in.
[01:16:11] Yeah.
[01:16:12] No, they let you in.
[01:16:13] You're in line.
[01:16:14] You're the deal.
[01:16:15] You work there.
[01:16:16] No, I'm in line because I want to go to the Sucks, Coxbury.
[01:16:18] No, you work there.
[01:16:19] You're the guy who sucks the car.
[01:16:20] You see that story about like Tucker Carlson's head writer was posting on racist forum?
[01:16:25] No.
[01:16:26] First of all, not surprising, which it's like, I don't know why.
[01:16:28] I mean, and I'm not saying that like, of course, but it's like, well, yeah, probably.
[01:16:33] I mean, it's great.
[01:16:34] They, they, they.
[01:16:35] Fuck.
[01:16:36] I mean, that's how much different than what the show is.
[01:16:38] Yeah, yeah.
[01:16:39] And it's like, like, I don't care.
[01:16:42] You know what I mean?
[01:16:43] It's like, well, I don't understand.
[01:16:44] Like, oh, well, he resigned and it's like just going to not be racist.
[01:16:48] Just ignore it.
[01:16:50] But I mean, talk about a sweet job.
[01:16:54] Writing getting to be the racist guy being the room being the head writer.
[01:16:57] I mean, no, because it's really that is a story of posting history is a guy that just
[01:17:03] posts on chimpout.com, making his way all the way to being the head writer or Tucker Carlson
[01:17:09] show.
[01:17:10] You're right.
[01:17:11] That is a racist rags to riches story.
[01:17:12] I'm going to tell you, because I could do that job easily.
[01:17:17] I work fucking 30 minutes a day.
[01:17:20] And it's like somebody's going to do it one way or the other, you know, so you're asking
[01:17:24] for the job.
[01:17:25] Yeah, I would.
[01:17:26] You want to be head writer?
[01:17:27] If you're listening.
[01:17:28] Yeah.
[01:17:29] I hear you.
[01:17:30] Make me an EP on that show.
[01:17:31] I mean, fucking $12,000 a week.
[01:17:34] Absolutely.
[01:17:35] I did.
[01:17:36] All right.
[01:17:37] Well, the offers out there, Tuck.
[01:17:40] What were you saying, Adam?
[01:17:41] Oh, no, I heard he listens and he reads Jacobin too.
[01:17:46] You heard he listens to come town and read Jack and he also reads Jack.
[01:17:50] Where do you hear these things?
[01:17:51] No, I just made that up.
[01:17:52] But you say this kind of stuff.
[01:17:54] No, he does.
[01:17:55] He does read.
[01:17:56] Remember last year when you were like, you're like, to pass you a son.
[01:17:59] You mentioned it like four times.
[01:18:01] He likes to do stuff like that.
[01:18:03] This was clearly a joke I felt.
[01:18:04] No, no, I was joking about Tucker Carlson listening to the come town.
[01:18:10] Yeah, you actually got got by Adam Nick.
[01:18:12] Yeah, you got it.
[01:18:13] You got it, dude.
[01:18:14] And an embarrassing moment.
[01:18:15] Once again, your joke was so unfunny.
[01:18:17] Once again, the web, the webmaster couldn't have logged you out.
[01:18:22] Thank you.
[01:18:23] Whatever.
[01:18:24] Look, just give me the job.
[01:18:25] So let me write and I want to do it from home.
[01:18:28] Okay.
[01:18:29] So if you come in, there's got to be like a curry, a machine in my green room.
[01:18:34] I get a green room.
[01:18:35] That's right.
[01:18:36] That's right.
[01:18:37] That's the writer I get a green room.
[01:18:38] Yeah, that makes sense.
[01:18:39] Yeah.
[01:18:40] Well, I also get, I also get to go to HMU at the beginning of my birthday.
[01:18:43] I want to look pretty.
[01:18:44] Oh, hair and makeup.
[01:18:45] Yeah.
[01:18:46] Hair and makeup.
[01:18:47] Oh, yeah, you just got a full blowout.
[01:18:49] Yeah.
[01:18:50] With the wax paper on my neck.
[01:18:53] I'm like, what if we say Mexicans aren't real?
[01:18:57] What if we say there's no scientific evidence to prove that Mexicans exist and we sort of
[01:19:03] tie that into the coronavirus somehow?
[01:19:06] I love it.
[01:19:07] Great.
[01:19:08] Great.
[01:19:09] That sounds like a little anger.
[01:19:10] Imagine for a second that Mexicans weren't real.
[01:19:12] There was a race of cartoon characters that were flooding this country every day and hitting
[01:19:18] people on the head with giant mallets.
[01:19:21] Obviously there'd be protests in the streets and you'd be right to be angry at that.
[01:19:26] But for some reason we don't do it with Mexicans.
[01:19:28] Interesting.
[01:19:29] Imagine that Looney Tunes characters were coming here in droves, Tasmanian devil, destroying
[01:19:34] cities, destroying ampersands and dollar signs out of a cloud of chaos.
[01:19:40] And a toothless hunter was hunting a talking rabbit.
[01:19:44] Rightfully, you'd say this is chaotic and absurd.
[01:19:46] But for some reason, when it's El Salvadorians, nobody has a problem.
[01:19:52] That's good, man.
[01:19:53] Yeah.
[01:19:54] You're a fucking packet right there.
[01:19:56] That's it.
[01:19:57] If you're listening.
[01:19:58] You just race swap everything with Looney Tunes.
[01:20:01] Yeah.
[01:20:02] And we know you are a Tucker.
[01:20:04] Mm hmm.
[01:20:05] Well, it's all just a piss.
[01:20:07] All of his hypotheticals never account for the fact that the white people that are being
[01:20:11] oppressities talking about love the oppression that's happening to them.
[01:20:15] What do you mean?
[01:20:17] Well, not even oppression.
[01:20:18] Well, he's like, you know, bitchin about like, well, he was complaining this week about
[01:20:23] fucking like that Seattle City Council doing like sensitivity training for white people.
[01:20:29] We're like making them all learn about how how their white, their whiteness is criminality.
[01:20:34] Imagine we were doing this to black people.
[01:20:35] And it's like, well, I can't imagine that.
[01:20:38] But I also doubt that any of the white people that that's happening to in Seattle feel anything
[01:20:44] other than ecstatic.
[01:20:46] They love it.
[01:20:47] They love it.
[01:20:48] You can't wait to hear judge and to judge other white people.
[01:20:52] To judge other white people.
[01:20:54] When some fat bitch shows up at the office and she finally finished white fragility and
[01:21:00] she can't wait to cry in the break room and fucking explain how guilty she feels to a
[01:21:08] woman that's never heard of the book.
[01:21:10] You're right.
[01:21:11] It doesn't care who emigrated from Ghana six years ago.
[01:21:15] That this is it's Christmas for that.
[01:21:19] Absolutely.
[01:21:20] I'm gonna get a piss.
[01:21:22] Or we don't why you just miss yourself.
[01:21:24] Be like, yeah, just be your pen.
[01:21:25] I don't want to make her ready.
[01:21:26] Did it.
[01:21:27] I'm gonna we can all do it together.
[01:21:28] All right.
[01:21:29] Well, I guess that's the episode.
[01:21:30] Thanks for listening.
[01:21:31] Tell us your answer.
[01:21:32] See you.
[01:21:33] Hello.
[01:21:52] Alright, yeah.