Cum Town | Premium | 07/20/2020
[00:00:00] Um, I guess we should get right into it.
[00:00:08] If you're living in here in beautiful, I got to address this.
[00:00:13] And hopefully he hears it or gets back to him.
[00:00:17] There is a Instagram guy that I've been following for years.
[00:00:23] That I've never mentioned on the show that I don't tell people about.
[00:00:27] You've told me, I believe, I haven't even followed him.
[00:00:30] You don't follow him because then people will come up with people's
[00:00:33] But he is a gem, something that I can enjoy on my own.
[00:00:37] And I should have received, received, followed him.
[00:00:40] And then I guess because of that, Brandon Moredale.
[00:00:44] So it's only a matter of time before Brandon ruins it.
[00:00:46] Yeah, Brandon, we're going to put him on a story.
[00:01:10] Sean McCarthy, Racine, Tommy Pope and Shane Gillis.
[00:01:13] What a league of extraordinary gentlemen.
[00:01:16] It's what I, you know, I said the military, they form like task forces
[00:01:24] Is there what they're called disciplines?
[00:01:25] Multi branch, multi branch coalition force.
[00:01:29] And that's that that one I'll call task force fellows.
[00:01:33] And you all present different skill sets.
[00:01:36] Different skill sets for coming to things from different angles.
[00:01:48] That's the kind of diversity I can get on board with.
[00:01:59] Another Irish guy, but he went to college.
[00:02:08] And that's what that's what diversity means.
[00:02:14] But yeah, the Irish guy and Irish guys wrote a book.
[00:02:17] Yeah, Italian guys and an Italian guy that's half Irish.
[00:02:44] We're going to get you the help you need, brother.
[00:02:50] Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
[00:03:14] Just handing a tub of Vaseline to the victim and being like, go ahead, lube up.
[00:03:19] And making him lube his own ass to make the rape less painful.
[00:03:24] Kind of like when you make someone dig their own grave.
[00:03:28] You lube your own ass before we rape you.
[00:03:36] This is, yeah, this is what we call a soldier's honor.
[00:03:40] This is, this is what we call a soldier's honor.
[00:03:46] We only give the vets Vaseline for their asses.
[00:03:50] I mean, let you lube your ass 30 minutes before dawn, and then somebody plays reveille
[00:03:58] Ba bla ba bla ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
[00:04:02] Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba dew.
[00:04:06] And he was like, all like happy about it.
[00:04:15] It's a big ass you make the different notes with your voice
[00:04:19] What was that motion there was a bug floating by my face? I kind of
[00:04:24] Batted at it like that was I thought you were pantamiming playing the instrument. No, not I'm just doggy paddling in front of his own
[00:04:31] Yeah, I was yeah, that was the most pay way. I've ever seen somebody I was slapping a
[00:04:35] Think I love the word for it's even gayer than the word. It's so much a yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Tina Fey
[00:04:53] Adam is definitely more Fay than Tina Fey
[00:04:57] She finally said what that scar in her face is from what's what I thought it was from a dog biting her
[00:05:05] Yeah, my head I just I turned it into Tina Fey. Yeah
[00:05:08] Well, what is this far from I think she was trying to have sex with the chimpanzee that sounds right? Yeah
[00:05:15] During her improv days. Yeah during the her UCB days the class shy 10 Chicago classic
[00:05:22] I'll laugh him with with somebody else the other day, but I got numbers like seeing some it was something about the making of Django
[00:05:28] Mm-hmm. You know that scene where like Walt Goggins like plays with fucking Jamie Foxes balls
[00:05:38] They were like yeah, that's that was improvised
[00:05:42] And it's like that's improv that's the improv. That's what improv is yeah, you know what the part where it would brown bunny
[00:05:51] Mm-hmm. We just kept where the ghosts sucks. But imagine doing that during a UCB sketch. It's playing with some of penis and balls
[00:05:59] And like I was sorry. I was yes, and then his balls
[00:06:03] Well, he said he was gay. I was yes, and then if I sucking his dick. Yeah, exactly. I'm being a good guy at improv
[00:06:09] That's why there's technically no rape with the UCB. You can't rape a UCB. It's all you're saying yes
[00:06:21] That he started improv to rape whoever he wanted
[00:06:26] And cut say and is it funny no, but is it a way to get away with rape?
[00:06:31] It's over everyone kind of recognizes that should say called now but ten years ago when it was at the height of it
[00:06:36] I mean there was like an improv theater in awesome
[00:06:38] They had like a portrait of they had like a mural of Dell close on the wall
[00:06:41] And it's like you realize this shit is gay. I mean if it was like
[00:06:46] Something worthwhile that would be weird. It's not that good. Yeah, it's like an exercise to sort of get funnier
[00:06:53] Yeah, actual comedy. Yeah, it's not it's to make you a better actor is to better make you a better stand up
[00:07:01] It's not in and of itself. It's not you more comfortable on a stage
[00:07:05] Yeah, you have to learn icebreakers with a bunch of other adults the couple that own that in prof theater too got me to as a couple
[00:07:12] hysterical like an Epstein J. Larry the students they they but they were grown adults from they were grown adults that were
[00:07:23] Other adults they were del closing it well
[00:07:25] I mean can you imagine like fucking the owner of some small time and prof theater thinking that like so pathetic
[00:07:31] Well, maybe they'll let me you know hold the flash maybe I'll be able to do the herald
[00:07:35] Yeah, if I suck this I can get on the bat
[00:07:38] Tans penis on a good well, he's also fat wife with incredibly long braided hair watches long breasts
[00:07:46] Very you know the wife co-owner of an improv theater has long breasts. Yeah, 100% I took I took
[00:07:56] Oh sketch right I took writing class and
[00:08:00] It's funny like the group of people that like you get right because you get like a girl that moves to New York to be an
[00:08:06] Actress and her like manager says this is good for you
[00:08:09] And then there was this one guy a lot of like 37 year old
[00:08:13] Like people that work at desk jobs. They're like I think I'm gonna get on SNL. Yeah, I've had a lot of good ideas
[00:08:21] And there's this one there's a black dude in my class who I
[00:08:26] I feel bad saying whatever he was not very funny, but
[00:08:30] One day he came to class with a rolling suitcase and I was like, oh, did you just come from the airport?
[00:08:39] What and I was like, what do you mean? He didn't talk like that to yeah?
[00:08:42] Yeah, yeah, this was like a like a west coast like this was like a like a hood black eye taking
[00:08:47] No, he wasn't he wasn't no he were like no first of all he was under that he was under
[00:08:52] That's the only voice Adam does for black. No, that's not sure every time. Yeah, it's the archive man
[00:08:56] I'm trying to I'm trying to be I'm trying to be writing Dan's
[00:09:00] I'm trying to you know what but instead of being funny is violent
[00:09:07] Shit is from California, but he was a nerd for sure. Okay, how about we do a sketch where I'm fucking this girl Brittany right here
[00:09:15] And then fucking Sarah comes in and she's like let me get some of that. He's just writing porn. Yeah
[00:09:30] What he went to Atlanta for a Tinder did he get pussy and I thought Tinder was like geographically determined
[00:09:36] It's not anymore. It used to be back when we were on it years
[00:09:39] It's like someone within 10 miles before we were able to get on the real dating service
[00:09:44] Which is an airplane that you take a ride on
[00:09:49] Yeah, it is really cool once we got to a million downloads
[00:09:53] Cumulatively, we just got to start boarding these planes nothing nothing feels as good as deleting all your apps while you're boarding your first flight
[00:10:00] Oh, yeah, it's just seeing a lot of different people a lot of Microsoft employees were on it too
[00:10:05] Yeah, a lot of a lot of different industries captain imagine swiping on Tinder while on the load of the Express
[00:10:18] Using Tinder on a on a like mega bus like when I was like going like I first moved here
[00:10:23] And I was going back to DC for like weekends to do stand up and pussy and Delaware. Yeah, you're like swiping in Elizabeth, New Jersey
[00:10:31] Jim get some pussy over in Elizabeth. I was talking to a girl that I
[00:10:35] Swiped on when I was on a mega bus and I was considering getting a zip car once
[00:10:43] To get some fucking head zip car to wear to I think Elizabeth
[00:10:48] not not far outside the city but or or like
[00:10:53] One of those fucking nothing wrong with going to Jersey. I'm boy. Is that another place?
[00:11:01] You're gonna go all the way to Perth. Yeah, Perth Perth, Australia, Perth, Australia
[00:11:10] Yeah, we were we'll probably never come back to Australia. We're probably never gonna do another live show ever now. No chance
[00:11:19] We're all done go. Yeah. Yeah as much as we I mean, this is gonna go on forever. It has to it's gonna go on forever
[00:11:26] Yeah, I don't know if there's like cuz it's like it feels like if Trump wins
[00:11:29] There's not a reason say if Biden wins there's certainly no reason to pretend like the virus still exists
[00:11:39] You know, I mean like fit, you know, nobody talks about Russia anymore, right?
[00:11:45] Right, so that you're saying that the the viruses akin to the Russia gate conspiracy. Yes
[00:11:52] Yeah, I think people keep dying from it though, right?
[00:11:56] No, doesn't it keep getting diagnosed? Yeah, and people are dying. No one's dying in like fucking
[00:12:03] It's never been worried about Florida. I'm more listen if the NBA gets canceled
[00:12:09] Now will not accept that it's I don't even care anymore
[00:12:12] But if it doesn't then I'll listen to it's fake
[00:12:18] Yeah, I mean, there's no way we're gonna get to do any of the stuff that we want to do like I
[00:12:23] Don't want to go to fucking outdoor comedy shows that shit sucks. I want to go indoors where it's packed
[00:12:29] And it'll and we land people laugh hard as shit
[00:12:31] Yeah, the Instagram posted those like parking lot things or somebody standing on the back of a truck. Yeah, and it's like socially distance
[00:12:40] Everything you don't want to die in Queens. It does drive. They're really close. They're really close. Yeah
[00:12:45] But I know everyone in the audience is in a car
[00:12:48] So you can't hear any left I will say I would go to a drive-in movie
[00:12:54] But only if I had a classic ride you wouldn't go in a Toyota Corolla
[00:12:57] No, it would have to be a classic ride and there would have to be pussy getting involved
[00:13:01] I want to a course just gotta be put I went to a drive in a couple weeks ago. Here's what I thought up
[00:13:09] I'm the one that has is that I'm doing it. Here's what I'll say about classic
[00:13:13] You're not like go just go back and don't do it go back in time and don't do it
[00:13:16] You gotta not you got it now nicks all pissed. I'm mad and now we're not and now we got a no
[00:13:21] I'm not really gonna do is mad Nick. I can't do this show now. I can't you went to it
[00:13:27] Did you like do you feel good about it? I think about my you went to a fucking drive in and now we have to fuck?
[00:13:39] I got his pompadour I show I got my pompadour satan
[00:13:43] Always listening Johnny be good. I'm making soda for people
[00:13:47] Mm-hmm, man, the people hamburgers and rap the wax baby. No nicks a soda jerk a soda jerk
[00:13:53] That was a job you could have that's what Nick wants to be. Yeah. Well. Yeah, I'm like one of those types of guys
[00:14:04] You know what I'll say about the classic rides a lot easier to get pussy because it was like a bucket
[00:14:09] It's like it's like a bench like a bench seat on the front seat. Yeah, that's how you get pussy. Yeah, I had a
[00:14:16] Grandma cup holder a car market with that setup nice. Love that
[00:14:22] I just saw a friend of mine that had the two two people
[00:14:25] I know just got grandma keys really my friend Sydney got a grandma key and John none got a grandma key very nice
[00:14:31] I had a brief conversation with John none about his recent grandma key purchase. How did we do?
[00:14:36] I'm busy happy with it. I think so. I want bench
[00:14:39] I want a bench dude cuz I want to get some top without worried about that worry
[00:14:45] They're really awesome. I fucked I fucked in a Toyota like I think it was a Camry, but it was the the problem
[00:14:52] The girl had to ride me and it was like all up and down. I would like to have horizontal options
[00:14:58] Uh-huh. I don't want it to be purely vertical now. I suppose you could fucking take the seat back, but
[00:15:03] That's not purely horizontal. It's the cup the cup holders got to go
[00:15:08] I'm gonna pimp my ride my Toyota to get a bench seating so I can get pussy
[00:15:13] I just put a damn bed in it now. We're talking I might start going around Brooklyn in a horse drawing carriage
[00:15:18] I don't know how much that would cost but if I had like a fully enclosed
[00:15:22] Dracula carriage hmm, and I'm in the back
[00:15:25] Writing letters by came the light and cursive
[00:15:34] I long to put my hard-ass cock in your pussy pouring wax on the sealant
[00:15:45] She's like I'd know that print anywhere. I'd know that mushroom cap anywhere
[00:15:50] My dearest Martha how I long to spread your ass cheeks open and put my cock betwicks them
[00:15:57] You know, you know what some horny letters was uh
[00:16:00] President to foot miller to Fillmore. Mm-hmm. He did Miller Fillmore was about that pussy getting life
[00:16:06] And you wouldn't think so because his name is the name of a bitch millard
[00:16:10] Is that a bitch's name? Absolutely like a nail duck. Yeah, not a not a man bitch
[00:16:15] I mean a bitch there was a cartoon Mallard millard or a comic. I didn't say Mallard
[00:16:21] I said millard, but it sounds like a duck millard you think a guy named Miller gets pussy no mill dredges a woman's name
[00:16:27] I didn't bitch as in a guy who's a fucking loser not a woman. It's names not Dorothy
[00:16:34] I think it's a good fact the guy named Dorothy
[00:16:37] I would respect more than a guy named Miller. Well, you know that I have shotgun on that name of my first son Dorothy
[00:16:43] Yeah, there was like a lot and we don't know that you've never brought that I've never mentioned
[00:16:47] I bring that up practically every time something stuff said and you like the drives in thing
[00:16:52] I'm not gonna name my son Dorothy. You took it. Well, then don't lie without ass. I lied. I lied
[00:16:58] I don't like on the show like the last Oreo in somebody's house
[00:17:03] Last three Oreos you would be one you know, it's nice about story
[00:17:07] You know, it's not gonna eat it. You don't need you have shit in your house. You don't need it
[00:17:12] Negrates my fridge every time he comes in as I should no I like having an open door kind of communal vibe
[00:17:19] You know, it's cuz I'm such a cool guy. Well, that's not true
[00:17:22] I let my boy rate my free that isn't actually true, but it is nice. It's not like you're
[00:17:27] Someone's getting a little too big for their bridges. I
[00:17:32] I agree with that expression even mean that you're like
[00:17:39] Dicks too big Steve yeah, you're getting a little yeah
[00:17:43] That means that means you got to suck your guy off cuz his dick is about to break through his brace on bodies
[00:17:51] Yeah, that's the old that's when you used to have to jack off your friend on like the naval vessel
[00:17:56] Mm-hmm, and that's how the Navy started getting big gay
[00:18:00] Yeah, cuz if your dick pops through your bridges you're at sea you can't get new bridges
[00:18:11] Put your anchor in my ass put your finger in my ass put your tongue in penis in my ass
[00:18:18] Everything goes inside my ass here at the Navy yard
[00:18:24] Navy's crazy. It's funny cuz everybody made jokes about the Navy being gay
[00:18:27] Mm-hmm day, but what they mean is is that people are getting raped in a movie
[00:18:34] Yeah, and you had to kind of laugh it off because your rapist
[00:18:37] You know hanging out with you you're just there for six months or a boat with them. Yeah, yeah
[00:18:42] I mean I would join the Navy because it seems like a good way to not die fast. Yeah, you'd be raped
[00:18:48] That's who be raped signing off, right?
[00:18:51] The safest one to join but your ass she's gonna get
[00:18:58] Would you if you knew you were gonna get raped and he was like I can either hold you down and fuck your ass or you have to suck my dick
[00:19:04] Accentually, what would you learn to get good at giving head to men to knock at your ass right?
[00:19:10] Neither sounds very pleasant. These are your options
[00:19:14] It seems like if you're being presented with those options, you're probably gonna have to do both. No, it's not a man of honor
[00:19:25] Honorable rapist you rape a good joke. Yeah, that's what the movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. Was about metavon
[00:19:31] Mm-hmm. What's about the man should be I giving you an ultivatum in terms of the way you were gonna do it did
[00:19:36] You're okay with the option. Yeah, because he was a man of honor man of honor
[00:19:40] When I yeah, I thought that was like one of the best movies ever
[00:19:43] When he stands up. Yeah, yeah, he stands up in that fucking heavy ass
[00:19:47] Yeah, but I didn't realize as a young man was it really just the scuba suits were triggering my autism
[00:19:57] I just had a deep appreciation for the timeless design of
[00:20:03] Like weighted. Yeah, they do look cool. They're not scuba suits sort of a diving suit
[00:20:08] Yeah, and they were like connected to a tube, right? There was like no like yeah breathing apparatus. Those are cool. Those that's yeah
[00:20:15] Yeah, they look cool. You look like an astronaut. Yeah, you're essentially an astronaut the bottom of the ocean is the space
[00:20:21] I didn't realize it until Bioshock came out why I liked that movie
[00:20:26] You like the suit and it's like oh, I just like the way this suit looks. Yeah, so Adam anyway
[00:20:31] Would you start would you learn to get good at giving head or get your ass fucked mercilessly?
[00:20:35] To give a good blow job or I don't know it seems like it would hurt more to have your ass
[00:20:40] Just say you love maybe so you some maybe so you want to learn how to suck good dick. Yeah, I'm not I mean
[00:20:46] That classic like would you suck a dick for a million dollars and then you say no, I'm John Kenyon. Yes
[00:20:55] That's ridiculous a million dollars. Yeah, don't change the subject you love you want to learn how to suck dick
[00:21:00] No, I knew it's you have really suck if you suck the dick less painful
[00:21:06] If you suck the dick for a million dollars and then a year later
[00:21:09] You just got very good at your job and then made a million dollars
[00:21:12] You win the lottery the second after you the guy busts in your mouth and then you look you look at your power ball
[00:21:18] Yeah, it's like you won eight the eighty million dollars
[00:21:24] Dude honestly the guy who owns the lottery should do that to people
[00:21:28] He should give you it. He should pay you a million dollars to suck his dick and then be like guess what bit
[00:21:33] You just won the lottery. Yeah, that would be a good own. Yeah, and he would get his dick sucked
[00:21:38] Damn, it must be also be the guy who owns the lottery. You're so rich. How about this?
[00:21:42] So Adam you'd suck a dick for a million dollars. Well, he would say if he joined
[00:21:48] The record to say I would suck a dick for a million dollars. Would you it's a ridiculous question?
[00:21:53] Would you suck two dicks for a million dollars? Yes, I would suck two penis three dicks for a million dollars
[00:21:58] Yes for one million dollars. Yes, you suck four dicks for a million dollars
[00:22:02] Yeah for a million dollar. You're not thinking about a million dollars
[00:22:04] I know I'm thinking of a quarter million dollars, so you'd suck one dick for a quarter million dollars probably for two hundred five
[00:22:10] Five dick. I'm trying to figure your breaking point out. Well, but if you increase the amount of dicks and then it's a million
[00:22:16] I think is the key part to Adam. Yeah, but you could get there you get there with twenty dollar increments just sucking dick for ten years
[00:22:24] Do it with twenty dollar increments? Yeah, I wouldn't suck hundred hundred
[00:22:28] I before stop interrupted me. I was gonna continue adding those numbers until we hit twenty dollars
[00:22:41] How much is that purple? It doesn't matter?
[00:22:44] That's what ten thousand dollars of blowjob. No, I can't do math
[00:22:48] Well, we were just gonna keep adding it until you said that you would suck fifty thousand dicks for a million dollars
[00:22:53] All right, you want to keep going hold on dude divided by three hundred and sixty five
[00:22:57] That's a hundred and thirty six days of
[00:23:00] You know hundred dicks is a lot of dicks. No, sorry
[00:23:04] It's a hundred and thirty six dicks a day
[00:23:07] Hundred and thirty would you suck a hundred and thirty seven dicks for a million dollars Adam in one day in one day?
[00:23:13] It's a completion to completion. That's probably difficult
[00:23:16] But would you do it for a million dollars suck a hundred and thirty seven dicks and if I got so I'm just one days work
[00:23:21] I got to one thirty six and the last guy couldn't bust zero dollars. Well, it's actually one thirty six point nine
[00:23:27] So do you get I'm answer the question wait? I have a question a hundred and thirty seven I would do you get your portion?
[00:23:34] Right. No, it's all or nothing. It's all or nothing. So everyone has the bus
[00:23:38] I don't think Nick is trying to trick you here. No, no, I'm just would you suck a hundred and thirty seven dicks in one day
[00:23:45] For a million dollars most likely for a million dollars. Yeah, would you do it every day for a year?
[00:23:51] No, I wouldn't do it every day for a every day. You were talking 365 million dollars. No
[00:23:56] I'm talking about a hundred and thirty seven dollars
[00:24:02] $137 would only get you a hundred and thirty seven times you're saying a blowjob for a hundred and thirty seven dollars for a year
[00:24:09] You would only be making about twenty seven hundred dollars a day if you were sucking a hundred and thirty seven dollars a day
[00:24:15] No, but what you dollar I wouldn't suck a hundred thirty seven dicks a day every for a year. No, it's one days
[00:24:21] Listen, here's how I'm thinking up in a ready listen
[00:24:24] I'm thinking of it. Will I do one day's work for a million dollars?
[00:24:30] I'm almost certainly doing it. Yeah, if it happens to be sucking cock all day
[00:24:36] Fine, I have a million dollars. How about this if you get a hundred dollars a blowjob. It's only 28 dicks
[00:24:43] I'm not interested in that. That's two. I don't want to do anything 28 times every day
[00:24:50] Because it's too much. It's just too much even stuff. I like I don't even want to fuck 28 times a day
[00:24:56] It wouldn't actually be that pleasant. I want to fuck a woman that's brought 28 times 28 times
[00:25:02] Text 28 times in one day. I'd like to I'd like to
[00:25:05] Four if I'm showing off you could get it out of the way in an hour banging out first thing in the morning
[00:25:11] You suck 28. I'm not interested in that bro within a year's time now. It would take a long time
[00:25:17] Are you paying taxes on this no tax or no? We're saying clean mill. Mm-hmm. I'm not doing anything that takes a whole year
[00:25:25] Fuck that but here's the problem, right? You get that briefcase
[00:25:30] A million dollars you can't be spending money around town like that because I really catch you, you know
[00:25:36] Yeah, you gotta have a laundry rod then you have to invest in local business
[00:25:40] Yeah, you can't be like Johnny's sack in the maserati you can't do it because then they're gonna start asking questions
[00:25:45] So you have this billion dollars in your house. Yeah, that's why we got to pass some shit for sex workers, dude
[00:25:52] For this theoretical situation no sex workers want to pay taxes. What if how about this?
[00:25:57] Yeah, stave yes every night while you're asleep
[00:26:02] 28 men come in your mouth my ass. No, they just
[00:26:06] Sleep you're asleep. You don't know what's going on better than sucking 28. Yeah, easily
[00:26:10] Okay, and then you get a hundred dollars per so for a year for a year while you're asleep
[00:26:16] Would it okay? How about this would it fuck up my sleep?
[00:26:18] Do I get a great sleep? Well, you already have a little fuck my REM cycle up
[00:26:22] Maybe it's just a mission that they just come into your CPAP
[00:26:29] Breathing in instead of water I'm breathing. Yeah, you vaporize come
[00:26:34] So it could kill you yeah, no, it couldn't kill you no that's some thick shut up dude
[00:26:39] You don't know how to bargain if if they run their come through a thing that doesn't kill me
[00:26:44] Yeah, but I'm breathing in there's no difference. You're just inhaling 28 loads through atomized nut
[00:26:52] That seems like I mean and then you wake up every morning and there's there's a stack of 28 hundreds on your didn't know I'd stand
[00:26:59] Okay, let me ask you this because the the the thing goes into my nose
[00:27:02] This will I be sneezing come all day you're gonna have a little bit of a thicker head in the morning
[00:27:08] But it'll clear up you got to blow your nose out. Yeah, it's like a netty pot
[00:27:12] You've done a nice long night. It's like doing cocaine. Oh, okay
[00:27:15] Oh, but every day I wake up for a year. That's rough for everybody
[00:27:19] You get a million dollars at the end of the year and then you could buy an even better CPAP machine that allows you to suck
[00:27:26] And then we're talking about you know, it's all about scalability the first it is important to scale
[00:27:31] Yeah, I'm saying if it's happening while you're sleeping. That's passive income. It's passive income
[00:27:36] I just don't want to be adversely affected health wise in the morning if there's health
[00:27:42] But if you if there's no health I'd almost prefer that they nut in my mouth and then I can just throw it up every day become
[00:27:51] Are you that homophobic you think no, I'm not you're right come on about this
[00:27:56] Eating 28 loads. How about this the matrix is real and you're in that too, but instead of wires
[00:28:01] It's men's cocks that go into your body and jammed into the back of your head
[00:28:06] Yeah, to connect to the matrix and yeah, this goes
[00:28:11] They're constantly nutting into your veins and directly
[00:28:17] But the trade-off is you get to be near. Oh, dude. Yeah, I get to be near you can you could fly
[00:28:26] You can fly you can have any gun you want that's a pretty awesome sunglasses
[00:28:31] You get your dick suck you could jump over a bill that's awesome
[00:28:35] You can create a world where your dick is going into somebody's brain
[00:28:39] That's true, and that's what I like a lot. Yeah, I'll spend a lot of my time putting my dick in people's brains in different worlds
[00:28:48] Yeah, yeah, I would definitely do that because all I know is that I'm neo. Yeah, I don't even know that I'm in the pod
[00:28:55] Yeah, or wait no, but neo has to get out of the pod doesn't are you saying I can dodge bullets?
[00:29:00] Yeah, neo wants to get out and then he wakes up and he's just pulling
[00:29:07] He's just pulling dicks so hard as dick out the back of his head. Yeah, and so you think it'd be feel good to get your brain fucked by a
[00:29:20] Yeah, I would love to be neo even if I have to be in a fucking little embryo embryo full of jizz. I don't care
[00:29:33] I just okay to answer your question as long as I'm not adversely affected health-wise
[00:29:39] 27 men can beat off into my mouth at night
[00:29:43] It might make it harder to like be in a stable relation. I want to move the sense
[00:29:48] I'm gonna move the same for you girl. I can't be holding your lover essentially
[00:29:56] Kissing her, you know, you when you in a relationship while you had the CPAP machine
[00:30:00] Yeah, and so she would have to just like sleep there while you're hooked up to like
[00:30:06] That the rest of your life there's nothing wrong. Yeah, you put the mass mask off first of all
[00:30:11] It's kind of nice because there's a time a white noise machine
[00:30:14] Well, it is a white noise machines, but it's also like you know when you're with a with you know your girl and you're like cuddling
[00:30:22] That's a horrible type of sleep. You fall asleep. You wake up at 3 a.m. You're like intermixed you want to get your own zone
[00:30:31] I think it's nice some of the I think it's really nice sleep
[00:30:34] See when you like fuck in the middle of summer and there's no AC and then you just pass out like that
[00:30:39] It's a nice nap. It's a great nap. Yeah, but it's hard to get good a good eight hours
[00:30:43] That's what I'll say wake up. You're fucking dehydrated. You just pound a bunch of vodka
[00:30:49] You know that's a little fight smoke some cigarettes. Yeah, yeah a lot of nice stuff. You just
[00:30:58] Watch some movie last night where what's his name? Michael Keaton straight up punches glen close in the face
[00:31:06] Yeah, it was a lot of incredibly satisfying Batman
[00:31:17] It's a good very fun movie time tip. Yeah, yeah, the paper. Yeah, what's your name the bitch? Oh?
[00:31:24] Sorry, I thought you was a villain named the bitch. No, it's a contour the cunt
[00:31:36] She know I don't think you'll be able to go watch the game with the boys
[00:31:41] Like we're going to have dinner with my mother smoke bombs go off in the art museum and everyone screaming and then she descends from
[00:31:47] A rope and she's like I want to speak to the manager
[00:31:52] I ordered a non dairy smoothie this tastes like it has milk in it
[00:31:56] She is her career to me is completely baffling. She is aesthetically the least
[00:32:02] Pleasing person to look at Adam masturbated to her. I did not
[00:32:07] No, I did not hold on looking at computer and was like oh Glenn
[00:32:15] Oh, yeah, my cock Glenn she's give me some throw that ass back Glenn
[00:32:20] She is hideous. She's so ugly. She is first of all if you're interesting looking that
[00:32:28] That's I mean she was like a femme fatale in some movies. Not a femme fatale. Sorry
[00:32:42] No, she was younger whatever now she looks you know what she looks like she looks like who's that guy with the lisp?
[00:32:50] That was sound like that fucking loser Mike Tyson. No Mike's her notes are no bitch. Oh, she does look like
[00:33:01] I don't think anyone's pointed that out. That's very good. Thank you. Oh, I saw it stop your
[00:33:06] Your your your twin quit her job at the my twin at the New York Times. Oh
[00:33:15] My girl Barry your girl. That's another bit. That's another name Barry
[00:33:21] That's like an ugly Jewish girl. That's a fucking old man's name
[00:33:27] Our Jewish girl. Yeah, I mean she's a dumb bitch
[00:33:32] I wonder if like people have called her stop enough to for her to look into what that means. I don't think so
[00:33:40] Potentially so she loved the New York Times because people kept leaving posted notes on her desk that her pussy smells bad. Yeah
[00:33:46] Yeah, well, it wasn't just it's fair. It smelled bad. Yeah. Yeah, everyone's talking about it
[00:33:52] It was so funny because she's you know, she's like I was big
[00:33:54] I didn't even read the resignation letter. She decided cited bullying and it's funny to imagine like
[00:34:00] You know people with the New York Times being like nice pussy fat. So
[00:34:07] The fucking the editor the sports page. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, pussy smells like dog shit. Yeah
[00:34:19] Yeah, he puts Ross do song do song do something yeah do some yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:34:26] Yeah, yeah, he's a wigger. Yeah, he's a wigger. He's a Catholic wigger
[00:34:32] Who the fuckers Ross do set he's a Catholic wigger. He's like there
[00:34:38] Intellectual conservative don't they have like eight of those motherfuckers. They didn't know Barry was yeah
[00:34:44] No, she's an intellectual moderate. Yeah, she's a moderate that bitch supposed to be a moderate
[00:34:51] Fashion yeah, they got the monopoly guy on there
[00:34:58] For real though doesn't it's like everyone that writes is like a fucking Republican for the for the op-ed page
[00:35:03] They have like a while I think I Brett Stevens. Yeah, exactly. Yeah
[00:35:08] First of all if your name is Brett you should be Brett Brett Hart or Brett Michaels
[00:35:12] You should be a cool guy with long hair that gets pussy with bitches with chlamydia or Brett
[00:35:17] Shouldn't be a fucking loser right right for your christ
[00:35:19] Right christian the number one part of it's a Canadian comedian that doesn't wear pants
[00:35:26] This is a party machine. You can just always see his penis
[00:35:30] He's being that he's constantly taking beer bongs in his ass. Yeah, he always does a shirt on but his penis and ass or
[00:35:36] Yeah, a bottomless. Yeah, that's cool a bottomless kind of party honestly
[00:35:41] I would really respect that to fucking perform with your penis out. Yeah Brett Chrysler the side being
[00:35:53] Yeah, that guy yeah Brett Brett Brett should not be nerds if you ask me you should be good at fucking sports
[00:36:02] So fuck that guy Brett. What is his name? Steven's Brett penis?
[00:36:06] Yeah, take that you fucking loser. Yeah, I so funny that they should I they should hire a resident bully at the New York Times
[00:36:15] Because now I feel like bullies have been maligned and
[00:36:19] Misrepresented right by losers right well
[00:36:21] Yeah, I mean all bullying is just like nerd saying right you think that you think you have both they don't have bullies
[00:36:26] It's New York. Oh and maybe they should I agree and maybe me and stop should get a job at the New York
[00:36:32] I'd love that where we don't produce anything. We just go around the all that guy Brett penis. We call him Brett
[00:36:38] Hey, buddy, you don't think climate change is real. What's what's up penis veins? We're gonna call you. Yeah, yeah
[00:36:44] Nice cock you fucking idiot. Yeah, suck his cock. Yeah
[00:36:48] Something's wrong with my coffee. I'm like we hooked it up to stop CPAP machine filled with cum
[00:36:55] Guess who's been sucking dick all night long and then speeding it out into your coffee
[00:37:04] Hell yeah, you couldn't even get mad at me for that. Yeah
[00:37:10] Because I'm sucking cock. I wonder what the offices look like at the New York
[00:37:14] Do they actually go into the office? No, yeah, these people
[00:37:18] It's in like Times Square. It's like by the port it's a
[00:37:20] Bad motherfuckers going to the times the op-ed motherfuckers going to the other it's like 30th and 80th
[00:37:26] It's important port authority. Yeah, it's close because I saw it when I worked that job with you at
[00:37:33] TCM X. Oh CPX I child porn international. Yeah, it'd be funny if their officers like that like that rock band and stuff
[00:37:40] Oh the New York Times. Yeah, there's just a hummus packets of shit. Oh second break of the show, huh?
[00:37:49] No, it's not an emergency like I'm your
[00:37:59] Man, I Barnes and Noble or the USPS lost my criterion purchases
[00:38:04] Well do the USPS lost my fucking I was got a green screen. Oh
[00:38:08] Really? Yeah lost it. They said it was delivered and it never came although I also got it from China
[00:38:13] So they might have been lying the whole time the Chinese
[00:38:22] Inch and her daughter's hot though going close ancient Chinese penis
[00:38:33] I don't know why I've been saying that to myself for years and I can't remember the context or why doesn't matter
[00:38:41] It's Chinese penis. I look at ancient Chinese
[00:38:48] I would fuck going closest daughter. What's her name Annie Stark
[00:39:09] Now I'm not gonna get pussy I get so fucking pissed off
[00:39:13] What I find out a bitch is married when a bitch I haven't fucked is married
[00:39:16] I'm like you didn't give me a shot and I get a crack you're lucky
[00:39:20] I have so much respect for the sanctity if I was it if I wasn't a
[00:39:27] You would be in trouble. I would be hounding for some pussy. Yeah, fuck you bitch
[00:39:33] What if as the if the answer to a secular world is just having those little like mini donuts
[00:39:40] Replace the cracker in the Eucharist. That'll be awesome
[00:39:43] Her husband is some guy named Mark Albu. They should do why don't they do that?
[00:39:47] Why don't they give out a Christ can be anything right?
[00:39:50] Why don't they give out what it should be candy and they should make that the entirety of of a candy based church of yes
[00:39:57] It should be you just eat now. We're getting her kisses
[00:40:01] Fucking Dunkin donuts. Yes, sir. It's like a pizza. What do so big a very Italian church
[00:40:14] You think you have the wine. Yeah a little bit. No, what if you're like seriously in recovery can't do it
[00:40:20] I think that's fake. I think anybody that's like that much
[00:40:24] You know, it's like what about our I can't even have a taste what about our boy. I haven't done
[00:40:30] I you know what that's not true. I've like accidentally
[00:40:32] Sipped out of it. Yeah, like I picked things up and I've had like a sip of gin or whatever
[00:40:36] I'm like, oh fuck but it's not like I forget who it was and I don't want to like docks them
[00:40:41] But I saw like there was a comedian one time I was in at helium and they just tasted it and they took a napkin
[00:40:49] With the napkin after like accidentally drinking you wouldn't do that if you got shit in your mouth
[00:40:55] Exactly. You would just get a mouthwash and spit it out. You just spit it out
[00:40:58] But I mean it's like some people get kind of no
[00:41:01] What's the atrix once you get a little bit a lot of people that are once you get a little bit of shit then like
[00:41:06] You know you wake up in a hotel room your face is covered in shit
[00:41:12] I think the problem is a lot of people that have our alcoholics are also drama queens
[00:41:16] So they're like they especially people. They're like oh
[00:41:20] What happened oh no and they have to make a big scene of it
[00:41:26] Ian seemed he didn't tell story where he had like yeah
[00:41:30] Drinking hands in a time like seven hours later. Yeah, Jack off his soft
[00:41:35] The context yeah the context of that is like it wasn't he was like I was just in an airport and I had a
[00:41:40] Like it's like got the light my flight got delayed and so I decided to have a beer
[00:41:43] And it's like there's something else missing. Yeah, there's like he was probably gonna fall off the wagon anyway
[00:41:50] It's not like he was like yeah, I guess I can have like a yeah
[00:41:53] It's not like somebody offered it to him. It wasn't free. He had to go buy it. It was all a lot of yeah
[00:42:00] His decision that was the first real conversation I ever had with you. Oh really? Yeah, cuz it was like
[00:42:05] Maybe I had like a year and a half sober and it was like maybe maybe I've been in New York
[00:42:11] I'd well I must have been in New York like close to a year and a half
[00:42:14] Yeah, and then me and we're on a show together and I'm like became friends with him and I didn't know
[00:42:19] That you know he was Ian of course. Yeah, he's I used to guy. I think it was just everyone is always fooled
[00:42:26] They're like, oh, I didn't know what I was signing up for being friends with this
[00:42:36] Well, we like I don't he likes it was like I guess we like struck up a conversation
[00:42:40] He's gay because he's friendly she had he yeah, and I was like yeah
[00:42:43] I guess I've been sober lucky year and a half now in my mind that man
[00:42:46] I was like home free, you know, and he was like I had about a year and a half
[00:42:49] And then I started drinking again and then that was like what would happen like how did it look?
[00:42:53] You know, it's like terrified that you could get that far out. Yeah fall back into it
[00:42:57] He was like I was just sitting there port
[00:43:00] You know and then three days later, I'm you know trying to buy crack off
[00:43:04] Yeah, you're like, oh, okay. I'm good. I'm actually okay. I don't know everything that's going on with this guy yet
[00:43:15] So they're finally changing the name of the Redskins. Oh, yeah
[00:43:19] Yeah, the Washington pussy getters. I guess I saw something the red wolves which looks gay
[00:43:26] Red, we'll see red Hawks. Is that a real thing red tails? No, it's not yeah
[00:43:31] It should be red tails in his name after the George Lucas
[00:43:35] Tuskegee air man. Yeah, I've literally seen some like mock-ups for red tails
[00:43:40] Yeah, not under after the movie, but after the actual guys
[00:43:43] It'll be funny if they did it after the movie and then it was like like a
[00:43:47] Fucking like lawn jockey flying an airplane
[00:43:54] Yeah, they just have a black guy caricature
[00:43:59] Just like huge head coming out of an airplane
[00:44:03] Yeah, that would just trade one image one racist image for the other right well
[00:44:07] They're trying to avoid stereotype right so they change and Jemima and then they'll just do they'll change
[00:44:11] And Jemima to a contemporary black person. Mm-hmm, and then it's like angry sister pancakes
[00:44:25] And it's just like a black lady with natural hair and you know who be rings yep
[00:44:29] And she's pissed and she's got it. She's got a bunch of books
[00:44:32] You know and she can't wait to not make breakfast for you
[00:44:38] Yeah, you open the pet box of paint. There's no mix in there. There's no mix get your own
[00:44:43] Note this yeah, it's supposed to us get your own damn mix black women don't know you anything. They don't yeah
[00:44:49] Including pancakes people would buy that
[00:44:52] Dude, that's like refinery 29 had some posts about like here's some words you should stop using our expressions
[00:44:58] Oh, it's like one of them's like uppity. Mm-hmm. I guess that one kind of makes sense
[00:45:02] But then it's you know, it's a listicle so they have to and I really think this is all driven by the advent of listicles where
[00:45:08] Because when you after four yeah, you're making shit up
[00:45:11] It's like there's like sick your reach the world already had like kind of a progressive
[00:45:16] Anyways, but when it's like you have two valid complaints, but you need to get the 10 so you have enough places to wedge in your advertisements
[00:45:23] Right click through the last are gonna be bullshit
[00:45:28] So yeah, so like with we uppity was one of them and then like cake walk is on there
[00:45:33] You're not allowed to say that anymore. Why's that? What's that about? I have no idea?
[00:45:37] I mean, it's like because they like slaves used to have to do a cake walk and it's like nobody knows that
[00:45:43] But wasn't the cake walk also is it easy?
[00:45:45] Yeah, it's something that's easy. It's easy and it's also like I only knew cake walks is something at like 10 like state fairs
[00:45:53] I have no idea what it is. Yeah, it's like it's musical chairs, but there's everyone everyone wins
[00:45:59] It's great. You eventually really? Yeah, that's awesome. I remember and there's cake
[00:46:04] I remember winning a cake. Well, I got a like a strawberry cake
[00:46:08] Awesome when I was like six or seven and it was the only thing I ever wanted my life
[00:46:16] Yeah, I did it. Okay. I just walked around the circle and my number got called and I got a cake
[00:46:21] That's awesome. We did a cake cake walk at the Halloween fair and elementary school. Damn. I want to do
[00:46:27] It did feel really good. It feels really good. You get a walk and to take it over and then like eventually you win
[00:46:34] It's a nice argument like against people like criticized participation trophies because it does feel really good. It feels great
[00:46:42] Yeah, yeah, you walk in a circle and there's like places on the ground with like numbers on them
[00:46:48] And then they when they shut the music off you stop and then they like roll a dice or something or pull a number out
[00:46:53] And if you're on that number you get the cake and there's like they have like 30 cakes that have been baked. Oh my god
[00:46:59] It's really cool. I want to do this to a cake walk right now. It's very cool
[00:47:03] It's on a by three cakes. It's honestly cake walks are great
[00:47:11] That's fucked up did I'm pissed but anyways in the comments is all these white ladies that are like thank you
[00:47:16] I'm I'll put in the work to remove these things from my vocabulary
[00:47:20] And I'm just gonna do the work. I've been going through and thanking all of those women
[00:47:23] Yeah, it's something that might like something like it's important. It's important to do it's this woman reply. Thanks. It's vital
[00:47:35] You got to just go you got to just patronize these people because it's so much funnier when they don't realize that you're mocking them
[00:47:42] Totally because they will go far. They're batting themselves on the back so far. Yeah, you got to just effusively thank these people
[00:47:49] And then because then you don't have to argue you don't get mad. It's funny. You can laugh at them more
[00:47:55] Yeah, and if they figure it out, it's like yeah, I got you. Haha bitch. Yeah, everything you've said
[00:48:00] Pause is actually I win. Yeah, right time. You have responded. I've won right exactly
[00:48:06] So now I'm Kaiser so say at the end of this. Yeah, you dumb bitch and I got a cake
[00:48:10] Yeah, I've been doing cake walks this whole time. Yeah me and my racist friends are winning free cakes
[00:48:16] Blackface doing cake walk and while you have to get fat off bread
[00:48:23] Stuck getting you become a huge bitch off bread, but I'm having a good time with the boys eating strawberry shortcake over here at
[00:48:32] What is this Cinnabon? Is that a cake? Would you call that a time? No, that's a rule
[00:48:37] Cinnamon roll. Yeah, but if you're in the hierarchy
[00:48:40] You it's in the pastry the taxonomy of yeah, Gina's pastry cakes cakes are pastry
[00:48:48] It's a subset. It's a subset. Yeah a pastry. I would say is a small cakes
[00:48:53] What if you know there was between communal and separate what have you had a jumbo Cinnabon that was probably 10 inches in diameter?
[00:49:00] Yeah, they have those for cookies to a cookie cake. I would say that that is giant cookie that you technically be a cake
[00:49:07] But it's an abomination. I remember having against they call them cookie pies. Yeah, and I remember having that on pie day in school
[00:49:15] Do you ever do that? Yeah pie day, which is March. What is it 14?
[00:49:29] No three point I don't I only know it's like 10 days
[00:49:32] You spirk is always I've never memorized pie. I just know it's you just did
[00:49:38] Slips it on you 10 digits is not I just went from saying you didn't know it to knowing it
[00:49:42] I warned you both times you tricked them the pie to 10 digits 3.1415926538
[00:49:52] Suck this lonely dick dude. Did you know that stop and I went to dinner this week?
[00:49:59] It was great. It was back by the way. Yeah. Yeah, we went to Nargis cafe for dinner 3.14159265359
[00:50:08] Did you notice that table behind us of like the bros?
[00:50:14] Were you eavesdropping on what they were saying not really I wanted to mock them
[00:50:18] But I was like you know what it was so funny like my inclination was to mock them
[00:50:22] They had like one of the dudes had like slashes through like his fade. Yep, and I like as we were leaving
[00:50:30] I like eavesdropped on what they were talking about they were all like very smart really
[00:50:35] Yeah, they were like one guy was like yeah, like honestly bro like I've had enough of this like performative allyship
[00:50:43] On social media like it's getting ridiculous at this point
[00:50:46] I wanted to think that they were like idiot and that sounds like a genius
[00:50:51] Yeah, it sounds like really smart guy. They look like Jersey Shore guys
[00:50:57] And they were saying smart stuff like I'm tired of all this social justice on social media
[00:51:02] Not only surprising to hear that from that guy, but no he said performative allyship
[00:51:08] So what Nick said sounded smart with a bigger couple bigger words. That's a smarter way to find out easily impressed you are
[00:51:14] Yeah, cuz I remember thinking those guys were bitch asses. They looked like bitch asses
[00:51:20] I wanted to make the blonde guy was annoying the guy that went to leave
[00:51:24] It's it's ridiculous that that impresses you but me having accurately memorized pie to 10
[00:51:30] Well, both things yeah cuz both things should be gay the other guy was talking about
[00:51:34] 3.14159 to 65358 was correct by the way, and it's 12 digits well
[00:51:40] Yeah, so you're a bitch for no other guy was talking about you didn't know it and it's part of your alphabets cool to not know
[00:51:46] It's your favorite letter in your outfit. It's not my favorite letter my favorite letter is Sigma
[00:51:50] That's why you're great because because one of the letters is pie. No, it's not actually yeah
[00:51:55] That's not how that works. Yeah, if a baby is born in there like this one's baby. This was gonna be fat
[00:52:00] It's to be positive your family's Chinese
[00:52:04] I've told you try sometimes randomly people think I'm Chinese what I did do
[00:52:09] I memorize the order of the presidents at one point, but that's like a long let's do it
[00:52:13] I can't I know Chan washing I probably couldn't even get the first aid in Washington Adams
[00:52:19] Jefferson so this gay shit that you're doing now. This is about learning. This is about this is cool
[00:52:24] And it's about learning you're talking about math, which is the shit nerds do we're talking about knowing about our great country
[00:52:30] Yeah in a specific order brave white men Washington
[00:52:33] knowing slave owners Adams Jefferson Madison
[00:52:40] When's Adam Quincy Adam been no no no Monro
[00:52:45] My glasses oh you have him yeah, yeah, oh that's gay no
[00:52:50] Was gay Adam as a as opposed to he comes in here and he memorizes the president. No, no no who's six for me
[00:52:58] No, who's the sixth president? Are you asking me if I know I don't is it there?
[00:53:02] It's like Madison Monroe. Here's that first group because I remember doing him in
[00:53:08] groups of eight and so it's like either Monroe Madison Van Buren or
[00:53:16] Mmm, and then what's the guy the fucking William Henry Harrison is is in the first so we're forgetting the guy on on the
[00:53:23] Money in these races this book Hamilton. They all but he's this one's extra
[00:53:31] Jackson Jackson Jackson seven. Yeah, I always remember that for some reason
[00:53:37] Because it's the amount of inches my penis is soft. That's not sure
[00:53:41] Anyways, there's no reason to memorize the order what you should do is memorize tidbits about each president. Mm-hmm
[00:53:46] That's I know tidbits because that that's how that's how you for jeopardy
[00:53:52] Mmm, you never need to know the order of presidents. You just need to have details. Are you hoping to go on jeopardy soon?
[00:54:02] Oh, you just want to watch it and know well, I've watched jeopardy and I've deduced
[00:54:07] That that's never like there's no I've never once in my life seen a jeopardy question that says like, you know what number
[00:54:15] Mmm interesting. Yeah, this I could see to break me like this 12th president fucking had a penis
[00:54:24] Yeah, whatever they all do well, that's true
[00:54:27] But they don't do that specifically didn't have a cock
[00:54:31] Because people can easily memorize John F. Kennedy
[00:54:34] So if they were to do that it would give away the question and there would be no point in asking the rest of the question John
[00:54:38] Fitzgerald Kennedy if you ever know he had a cock
[00:54:41] No, you lost it if you ever at the on the naval ship see them do that on jeopardy. It means that they've had a rough day
[00:54:47] So maybe they did it, but it was the day they found out that Trebek was dying. Yeah, damn
[00:54:52] He's still kicking though, right? Yeah, I think he beat it. No, really no stage four. I think he's fucked
[00:54:59] Is he yeah, he's just living life with dignity like a hard dick savage
[00:55:03] Well, I'll tell you when he dies. That's when it's times to take up arms against the government
[00:55:07] I agree with that. That's when it's time to start shooting police officers
[00:55:11] Let's go to Portland fucking snipe those the fake. They're just so foolish like the fucking Andy
[00:55:25] Certainly don't know how to pronounce that extremely popular via the me's name
[00:55:31] But yeah, then he's like I I mean, it's just like say nothing just say nothing
[00:55:36] But he's like defending he's unbelievable. Yeah cops have unmarked cars all the time
[00:55:41] Ridiculous aren't they just like you they're throwing you've been you've caught the left in all of these gotchas with all this like fucking
[00:55:48] Chop bullshit for weeks on it. Yeah, he's well. That's the thing. That's a heat check. Yeah, he's on a hot shoot
[00:55:53] Yeah, maybe I can get him on this. He's pulling up from 40
[00:55:56] He's pulling from 40. He's like this is completely indefensible. Yeah, this is the beginnings of the end of a civil
[00:56:01] Yeah, yeah, but maybe I can win this one. Yeah, they know they got they got fucking it's the same as an unmarked car
[00:56:08] Yeah, it's the same as a fucking lassaber, right?
[00:56:16] Hope I hope a bunch of people murder those guys
[00:56:19] I'll be fucking tired. We are are we gonna be chef this fella. Well any of those guys. I hope like I hope
[00:56:26] You know, I don't know. I mean it probably won't happen, but I hope we have a
[00:56:29] Another democratic or democrat president that does not give a shit about civil liberties same thing as Obama
[00:56:36] Mm-hmm, and then they start black bagging fucking people like Andy. No, and then you just get to be like, oh, yeah
[00:56:43] Well, you know remember him. Yeah, it's like no. I mean, it's the same as an unmarked car. So I guess
[00:56:49] No, that's your tab. That's the position that you have. Yeah, it's okay for fucking like
[00:57:00] Federal officers from multiple branches with no way to identify
[00:57:06] Just scooping people up off the street and detaining them for a period of time. Yeah, and I hope it fucking happens to him
[00:57:13] Yeah, I like what the fuck is the point of having like principles at all?
[00:57:17] Then I mean this shit is this shit is some I want I wonder if they're gonna do it other places. I
[00:57:25] But also do you even think Trump? This is no way Trump's doing anything shit, right? It's like some people in his cabin are just or whoever
[00:57:32] It's like yeah, I guess he's not gonna stop us. There's no way Trump's like let's get some secret police together people think it's cool
[00:57:39] You think people think it's cool. Yeah, the guy from Dilbert thinks is cool. Nah. Yeah guy fucking
[00:57:45] How dare he silly Trump's guys thinks to think think it's cool. That sucks, dude
[00:57:52] Got married to a kind of a hot chick. I saw that you actually fucked her though
[00:57:58] Wait Dilbert or Scott Adams. Well, he's got real life Dilbert. No, you know, it's funny
[00:58:03] He's Dilbert is not based on him. You see the guy who is a based on I don't know
[00:58:07] It's cool. He's got Adam's is like what if there was just like a nerd and he's way cooler than me
[00:58:13] Yeah, and he's more chill than I am. Yeah, I mean you like I don't think Dilbert would turn into Scott Adams
[00:58:20] No, Dilbert fucking you know like I mean cuz like Jim Davis with Garfield
[00:58:24] He's like Jim Davis was like what if there was a faggot that just talked to his cat all day long
[00:58:28] And then you see Jim Davis's regular life and she's just this no pussy get bitch. No, he's not dude
[00:58:34] I think that's really Jim Davis has like does he get pussy?
[00:58:38] 800 million dollars. That does he get pussy. That doesn't get shit dude. He's still writing. No way
[00:58:44] He's still doing a cartoon about his cat that died
[00:58:54] It's weird how he used to draw Garfield different
[00:58:58] Yeah, yeah, that really bothers. Yeah, it doesn't bother me. I just said it's weird. It's weird to yeah
[00:59:05] Like you know, we're supposed to pretend the Garfield wasn't just drawn shootier
[00:59:10] Well Bart Simpson was drawn shittier at the beginning
[00:59:13] Yeah, until they fired Matt grown Mac Mac running needed a massage on Epstein
[00:59:21] Yeah, the original Garfield is kind of like the stop version of Garfield the cool good version
[00:59:35] Goddamn it good I can't tell if he gets pussy from anything to Google says yeah, I don't even know Jim Davis
[00:59:46] He doesn't look like I always got the impression that he's like John our buckle was based on him
[00:59:53] As for Davis some of the things he personally enjoys in life are wine good food and golf
[01:00:07] Say it in that in the economic times profile of him damn dude. I feel let down he didn't say
[01:00:20] Yeah, I'm looking at Jim Davis now here I would be 70% John
[01:00:25] 30% Garfield I am sort of wish you watch you and laid back and had college dating disasters
[01:00:41] Hard look how stupid this other John or Jim Davis looks
[01:00:47] That Steve was near no, it's another it's Jim Davis from New Point marketing
[01:00:55] I'm looking at all the other Jim Davis's now and they all look like dickheads
[01:01:00] So I wouldn't want to have too much of Odey in me
[01:01:01] But I am pretty happy and trusting like Odey and I like to chase squirrels. It's nothing
[01:01:06] He said seems like a guy gets push. Yeah, this is so funny that this dumb bitch has just been drawing the same shitty cartoon for
[01:01:13] Million years. Yeah, and he's worth a billion dollars because of it and then you go talk to him and you're like he's like
[01:01:19] What's up? He's like I think I'm Odey. I think I'm part Odey and part Garfield and I like lasagna
[01:01:32] This is just a man with an intellectual disability
[01:01:38] What if we never got my wavy's get oh actually Jim Davis this day
[01:01:52] Person's farm. That one was about you. No, what's sense that it's about a pig. Oh, is it? Yeah
[01:01:59] Pig's very smart US acres used to be attached to
[01:02:05] Remember that the show oh, yeah, I would start off with Garfield and they would cut over to US acres
[01:02:12] Carolyn oh, I remember that show. Yeah, I like the US acres more than I like Garfield
[01:02:18] Really does the kid yeah, so much more rich world
[01:02:23] And and I didn't know the difference between that and animal he went to Ball State University
[01:02:29] We got zero pussy. He was in a frat. So he met have raped
[01:02:38] Is a bossy naive pig whose work ethic makes him the functional leader sounds like me the leader. Oh, yeah
[01:02:46] Orson's alter ego is a costume superhero named power pig which more often than not yet causes his friends or adversaries to fall down laughing at him
[01:02:58] Roy rooster. I thought Roy was the coolest
[01:03:01] Carol his first wife was named Carolyn Altacruce
[01:03:11] Yeah, my name is Tom huge name's Tom huge a player fucking cock
[01:03:18] Loud wise crack and rooster who endlessly enjoys practical jokes with Wade being his favorite
[01:03:30] Jill Davis is kind of his second bitch is kind of an upgrade. I'm telling you he's a pussy getting legend
[01:03:35] I can't see the first bitch though. Jill. Jill Davis not have that much money and not being not be a pussy getting
[01:03:43] First of all, yes, you can. I mean she's sort she's hot for Jim Davis, but she's not hot look Jim Davis gay
[01:03:58] You Google Jim Davis gay husband sex slave the first thing that comes up is James Baldwin
[01:04:10] Where the fuck is his first wife he hit her she's nowhere to be found
[01:04:15] He hit he used to beat his wife. No, no, he hid her. No
[01:04:22] Yeah, it's funny to imagine Jim Davis beating his wife
[01:04:32] I gotta draw the cat you fucking whore his first wife was allergic to cats
[01:04:38] I gotta put money on the table for us to eat
[01:04:41] So get the fuck out of my office. Yeah, well I draw the pussy
[01:04:48] I'm trying if someone has a picture of Carolyn Altik Reeves if anybody knows if Jim Davis gets pussy let us know
[01:05:00] I wonder if Garfield is doing any kind of black lives matter stuff. Yeah, I would be disappointed if
[01:05:07] He was his silence. Hmm. It's a three-panel strip where
[01:05:12] Jim walks into the house and he's like well
[01:05:15] I've stopped showering and there stink lines coming off of him and then Garfield looks at the camera and he goes
[01:05:24] And then it just says Garfield says black lives matter at the end of the yeah
[01:05:30] No, it's the first thing Odie's ever said. Yeah, yeah, he breaks his silence to say black
[01:05:35] There's an actor named Jim Davis. I'm gonna piss real quick
[01:05:45] You little motherfucker all right. Oh, okay. We basically we've done an hour five
[01:05:51] Well, thank you for listening folks. It's been another great episode Nick would want me to say go to come talk come
[01:05:59] Town come dot town that's right for his t-shirts. No, I'm a t-shirt my his baby's Nick
[01:06:11] Problems Friday on twitch that's right and it comes out on Mondays as a podcast and on YouTube. So
[01:06:17] Watch that shit. He's multi platform bitch. I'm all over. I'm trying to be a YouTube star
[01:06:22] I'm trying to get so big at YouTube. I can be racist mm-hmm like PewDiePie my hero Nick is Nick is gonna er
[01:06:31] Yeah, Nick's gonna start his own YouTube channel pretty soon and mine is on the way
[01:06:38] You guys old copying me. Yeah, we're gonna be copying you pretty soon. That's fucked up, dude
[01:06:43] Don't worry. I get I got I called dibs on YouTube. You know that all right. I refuse to use YouTube
[01:06:49] Ever again I have respect for me. Thanks for listening folks. It's been another great episode of come town
[01:06:55] We'll be back on Wednesday where our guest is Norm McDonald. That's right. All right. You've been ending the show
[01:07:02] Well, I was going I thought you said you were done
[01:07:04] I said I'm gonna piss and then I said I'm done as a joke implying that I've pissed my pants. Oh
[01:07:10] We thought the show will be we plug what we wrapped it up really nicely
[01:07:15] Nicely great ending all right. Well if that's what you guys want. Yeah
[01:07:20] Time to hit the beach. We got cat the Ireland on Wednesday. Are you going to the beach real?
[01:07:25] Yeah, I'm gonna go in like an hour say you want to come maybe I mean be nice to sit out and read
[01:07:30] Yeah, yeah, I gotta finish my pedophile autobiography your own autobiography. No, you're writing an autobiography
[01:07:37] No, I said I'm reading my own. Wow. We're looking forward to Adam's book
[01:07:42] You can find it at Barnes and Noble and other retailers worldwide. Thank you a bugs