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Bonus 197 - adamptation

Cum Town | Premium | 08/02/2020

[00:00:00] Okay, what we talk about Mark Twain. Yeah, please see I did 20 minutes on Mark Twain. Did you yeah?
[00:00:05] I did a red face man Clemens
[00:00:07] Yeah, that's right. So thank you
[00:00:10] I'm with the who wrote about the frog. What are you a big Sam Clemens dude? I'm a fucking huge Sam Clemens fan. I
[00:00:17] Love like I said the frog that he wrote about one second. There we go the guy with the
[00:00:26] That guy Jim Jim
[00:00:28] classic
[00:00:30] You know how Jim would like you know Dwight would do something you just like wiggle the bottom of your mic
[00:00:37] See if that fix it. Are you getting that from I'm not hearing that at all?
[00:00:41] Yeah, but you don't have a sensitive ear. Yeah, we've determined right before this year this started that at one
[00:00:47] I'm deaf true. I am
[00:00:49] You're an audio file. Well, you sound he sounds like he's speaking to a toilet paper roll. So talking on song. I
[00:00:56] Had the hardest of dicks and I
[00:01:03] Yeah, I don't know what creates that or what causes that incredible masculinity. No, I think the the I
[00:01:15] Speaking to a glory hole. Well, how would you know?
[00:01:18] Because I'm an audio engineer. So he went to glory holes. Yeah, it goes with graduated
[00:01:24] I went to USC for Foley. Yeah, Foley work
[00:01:28] Nick does field recordings like glory. Yeah, you sucked off day Foley from the new kids on the block. Yeah, the kids
[00:01:37] But the kids in the hall kids
[00:01:39] I might you know what I'm gonna have to just take the headphones off because okay, it's dry is gonna drive me fucking insane
[00:01:45] That's all right. Go natural. Yeah, yeah, which the headphones help for
[00:01:49] Impressions the yes, but they hurt for
[00:01:55] Like riffing you think so. Yeah, I think they help now for me never had headphones for years
[00:02:01] That's true. We don't have headphones. Come with better. That is true. It makes it feel more like
[00:02:06] Organic fuck it. I'm taking the head. I'm gonna take them off to yeah
[00:02:08] We're all we all got no headphones. You also switch positions. I'm in the middle now, right?
[00:02:13] Which you know I have to say I don't mind it, but I see myself as the superconductor of the show
[00:02:20] I'm like you kind of have an ed McMahon kind of I well no
[00:02:23] I'm like the most valuable piece of metal the alloy. I'm connecting the electricity flows through me in between you two
[00:02:31] Yeah, so now now I can't hear you. I might actually be deaf
[00:02:36] I yeah, I mean I'm having trouble hearing you having trouble hearing me speak right now a little bit
[00:02:43] Yeah, okay, it's it's not particularly clear. I don't know if it's if like air conditioning is on that's thing
[00:02:49] I have my I have trouble like
[00:02:52] Like differentiating noises if there's like multiple noises on like even if I have my air conditioning on even if I turn the volume
[00:02:58] All the way up on my TV. I can't hear the TV. That's right. We turn the AC off your honor the air conditioner was on
[00:03:04] I could not hear her saying no. Yeah, I could not hear the young no don't turn the air conditioner off
[00:03:11] We can just hose you down. I'm fucking I'm gonna get damp
[00:03:15] My titties are gonna sweat. All right fine, but you're driving anyways. That's true. It'll make the cargo faster really
[00:03:22] Yeah, lubrication and cooling
[00:03:25] A little bit of waterway. That's true. They'll save on some gas mileage. Okay. That's do you actually do you guys have one of those?
[00:03:31] Well didn't it because you're going to the dentist and they said that you have to do extras
[00:03:35] You have to lose 15 pounds before they before they can see my gums
[00:03:38] Yeah, I love that part
[00:03:39] I love that on that show my 600 pound life where the people go to get the surgery because they're too fat and the doctors like
[00:03:45] Well, you're too fat so you need surgery, but unfortunately we can't do the surgery because you're too fat
[00:03:50] You're fat fat that you've been the get you less fat
[00:03:53] Yeah, you so you're gonna have to lose weight before we can even do the surgery. Yeah, very funny
[00:04:00] That is a tough one mm-hmm. I'll never do the surgery by the way. I'm on a natural. Yeah, I
[00:04:07] Talk to a guy who had the surgery. Yeah, apparently you have to really chew the fuck out of your foods
[00:04:12] Yeah, cuz your stomachs fall are small. It's fucked up. Yeah, and you can eat like you can snap the band
[00:04:18] Yeah, you could which I would of course I would do that. There's no way I would snap the band. I would overeat
[00:04:24] I wouldn't eat no we would just smash cut the outside of comedy club
[00:04:28] You're like, oh, I think I snap my band
[00:04:33] Fuck why do they keep bringing up not three pizzas a nacho plate for an entire bachelor red party?
[00:04:39] I just eat it off on stage former slut nachos
[00:04:44] Clearly says feed 16 to 20
[00:04:48] You're like, oh, maybe I'll just maybe I'll try maybe I'll get it for the table
[00:04:52] Yeah, I'll get it. I'll see what it tastes like to eat the entire thing and there was like we had just date
[00:04:56] We just came from dinner. I'll get it from the table
[00:05:01] I'm glaring at anyone that takes more than one chip by the way like okay. You liked it. No, I thought you were dinner
[00:05:07] Yeah, you said you had dinner already
[00:05:09] So it's for the rest of the table. Yeah, why don't you go to the bathroom?
[00:05:15] All I need all I need is 30 seconds baby to do the damage yeah to do damage to the fucking
[00:05:21] Not the waitress came by and took it. Yeah, the plate still there. Oh the plate still there, huh? Yeah
[00:05:28] What do you fucking Philip Marlow? Mm-hmm fucking is that who you are? Yeah, what do you some sort of dick?
[00:05:36] Nice heart dude. I didn't hear it for no headphones
[00:05:41] Also affects how good I am affording into the mic. I was at the Apple store the other day
[00:05:45] You have to like get your head like with the forehead
[00:05:48] Like do you have a fever gun thing?
[00:05:52] And one of the one of the Apple store attendees had a long beard like nicks and they make masks for beard guys
[00:05:59] No, I don't know if you've seen this
[00:06:02] Hardin wearing one James Harden was wearing one. Yeah, it's just a long mass that goes to go to Costco until someone tries to viral video me
[00:06:09] I'm sorry. I can't I have to add my mouth open to suck cocks cuz I'm gay. Oh
[00:06:20] Okay, I didn't know Costco was homophobic. Yeah, I didn't realize this was a homophobic place
[00:06:24] So I'm supposed to put the I'm supposed to stop sucking cock. Yeah, I'm shopping
[00:06:29] I'm here to suck cock. Is that what you expected me? Yeah, is that what is that the standard?
[00:06:34] You would hold heterosexual
[00:06:36] Costco shoppers to mm-hmm
[00:06:38] attention heterosexual shoppers
[00:06:46] Attention gay sex shoppers attention gay sex shoppers the guys dick aisle is now restocked the men's penis aisle has been restocked
[00:06:57] I think that fixed it nice. You fix it. Are you ready for the sex?
[00:07:02] I think it was stop was maybe
[00:07:08] Maybe there's like a built-in compressor or something. Yeah when you're dick is too big they can tell for the timber. Yeah, they gotta
[00:07:15] You think that's what your problem is yeah
[00:07:19] Nice try I do think that I was just reading up on the manual. No, no, it sounds bad again. No, it sounds fine
[00:07:26] Yeah, I mean it's whatever. It's not something gives a shit. Oh actually. Yeah, I see what you're saying
[00:07:31] It can't be fixed here's it can't be explained every audio fact that fucking diameter like it's simple dude
[00:07:37] You just shame no, it's not shut the fuck up. How about that? Why don't you come to do it?
[00:07:41] You know what's simple measuring your penis?
[00:07:44] Yeah, it's one centimeter one centimeter you never even have to look at the other ridges of the ruler
[00:07:49] That's why you went to the school of audio arts. That's right. I say you get in
[00:07:54] Mm-hmm. They do they do one of those scans, but not for your temperature
[00:07:57] But if you think it's one centimeter, oh, yeah, and if it is
[00:07:59] Here's a pair of cans and a fucking copy of fucking fruity loops
[00:08:04] I'm jealous of Tim man Tim went out to Palm Springs
[00:08:07] Tim Dylan. Yeah, I'm trying to be out in the desert. What do you do?
[00:08:12] Mushrooms in the desert. He's sober. Yeah, he's sober. Did he do a vision quest?
[00:08:17] He's just got a place out there. He's been doing quarantine on Palm Springs. That's really nice. Yeah
[00:08:22] I'm trying to go out in the desert. I just watched that Andy Sandberg Palm Springs movie. Mm-hmm. It's just Groundhog's Day
[00:08:30] That's it you mean Groundhog's Day. Yeah, no, it's not Groundhog's Day. It's Andy Sandberg's
[00:08:36] Groundhog's Day. Oh, no Groundhog's Day. It's Groundhog Day Groundhog's Day. Groundhog's Day Groundhog Day
[00:08:42] It's Groundhog Day. It's Groundhog Day. Yeah fucking dummy. It's like there's one Groundhog
[00:08:47] Yeah, but it's his day. It's an apostrophe. Hold on. I actually don't know which one it is anymore. It's Groundhog Day. No, it's Groundhog's Day.
[00:08:58] It's definitely not it belongs. It's definitely not Groundhog Day. No, it's not Groundhog Day.
[00:09:04] That was a I made made a and on purpose. You did it. No, I know you did. No, it was not one of my one of my cool
[00:09:12] Malapropisms that people love so much. No, it's the round. Don't say the word that they're very funny, dude
[00:09:19] Don't say the word Malapropism. Oh, well don't get upset with yourself here. It is Groundhog Day. There's no way you got it. Yeah
[00:09:26] Is that the movie or is that the the holiday though? Well, I guess okay. It's it's one of those it should you know
[00:09:32] What it should be Groundhog's Day. Yeah
[00:09:35] Not the movie the day. It's one there. It's only one Groundhog, but it's his day
[00:09:40] I agree when Adam said it's his day. I agree with him. It's funks at Tawny Phil's day. Yeah, let him shine Adam
[00:09:47] Adam Grett. No, listen, it's an apostrophe. Did you say your own name? No, I said if it's like Adam's cake
[00:09:53] That doesn't mean there's more than one out. Oh, you should get into talking to the third person
[00:09:58] Yeah, of course, dude
[00:10:02] No, it's Groundhog's day. I like the idea. I always thought it was Groundhog started off as Badger Day
[00:10:08] This is a classic
[00:10:10] Baron's dog dog is what it was called Doc's dog. Yeah, candle moss is primarily Catholic festival
[00:10:19] That sounds like that sounds like crystal enough. Yeah
[00:10:25] It's so funny. I was thinking about like so they sent all those federal agents to Portland to do
[00:10:31] Fascism basically. Yeah, the on market nappings or whatever
[00:10:34] Yeah, and now they pulled them out and like they didn't do anything. I think it didn't stop the protest
[00:10:40] It didn't stop people from fucking up the courthouse
[00:10:43] No, I think they did it did absolutely nothing to send in there and it's very funny to imagine like
[00:10:48] I mean, I guess it's like it's kind of like to be in Nazi Germany and then they're like
[00:10:53] Let's do crystal knock and they do and then like Jews just go right back to like owning the banks the next day
[00:10:58] We're like oh
[00:11:00] Little did they know we had more crystals. Yeah, whoops wait. Did they break their crystals? No, they broke the windows
[00:11:07] I know that's what I thought. Yeah, the night of crystals
[00:11:11] The night of the chaos emeralds
[00:11:14] Yeah, it was a bunch of white women that went in with their Chris. How many emeralds do you guys have?
[00:11:20] Yeah, some roads. Yeah, how many are there? There's seven, right? I don't know is that we're talking about the Avengers
[00:11:26] No, it's from Sonic. Oh, oh true. Yeah
[00:11:29] That's a common trope though. Yeah, well, there was a
[00:11:33] Look like different colors. There is a give you powers held together. There's a tweet Obama laughed
[00:11:39] You mean the chaos emeralds
[00:11:42] which
[00:11:43] Which was early on the whole day's a Twitter. I
[00:11:48] Wouldn't know I was somewhere not getting pussy back then in 2012
[00:11:53] 2012 2011
[00:11:55] Let's see I graduated college. I was a recent college grad. Oh, I was I guess I was in a long-term really are seven chaos emeralds
[00:12:03] I was right. That's two things have been right about so far. If you're just joining us
[00:12:08] This is the podcast where we keep tabs on who got things right so far. I've got a groundhog day, right?
[00:12:13] We've got that there's seven chaos and so that gives Nick to the good having said that
[00:12:18] My vibes my vibes are so correct. I'm always right about vibes. Yeah, and those count for more than facts
[00:12:24] Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm up like four thousand. You got a nice like sky blue hole. Yeah, dude
[00:12:29] Yeah, you know like a match imagine
[00:12:31] I'm all baby blue. Yeah, I got my new balance fucking shorts on my runner shorts on
[00:12:37] Brisk walks do they have built-in underpants? Absolutely. Are you wearing underpants? Oh, sir. No, sir
[00:12:43] Got the nuts hanging on that fucking hammock. I've never wear underwear in the summer. Yep
[00:12:49] Let the nuts hang let them sweat. It was disgusting
[00:12:51] You know your dick getting sucked into your asshole. I hate that all the sweat
[00:12:56] Yeah, and then you're shooting into your own dick. Oh you're eating into your urethra in my case
[00:13:00] I'm on the circumstance. So I have shit all around my mm-hmm my dick head
[00:13:04] Then you have to find a public bathroom and try to get the shit out of your yeah
[00:13:08] I usually use water fountains because they're right at dick
[00:13:11] Mm-hmm once for children. I usually put my foreskin. That's right kind of wash that out get all the shit out of my dick
[00:13:16] That I've been shooting inside of mm-hmm, and then I just you know
[00:13:19] But now because of COVID they've shut down all the water found all the children's water found so I'm shit out of luck
[00:13:25] Yeah, here we go. Here's a here's an awesome YouTube video called
[00:13:29] Sonic chaos emeralds in real life. Oh, let's see what that's all about
[00:13:34] It's probably gonna be disappointing, but I'm gonna go ahead. I'm you guys talk for a second. Well, I skipped the ad okay
[00:13:41] Boy, oh boy. I didn't know what I didn't play that much sonic. I was a more of a mario. Yeah, I was I didn't have Sega
[00:13:48] I didn't have Sega either my friends did I would go over to my boy piece house play Sega
[00:13:55] You guys say Sega or Sega I didn't really play much Sonic you I played the game cube one that one that was a dreamcast game
[00:14:04] But mostly I just know Sonic or from Twitter jokes and and and honestly mostly from following a
[00:14:13] Christian Christian for since like the beginning yeah
[00:14:17] Yeah, it's crazy that guy's been mocked since like
[00:14:22] 2006
[00:14:24] What's Chris up to these days? He's a woman though. She's a little bit of woman
[00:14:30] Did you get pushed out? Oh
[00:14:32] You get pushing from Christian somebody get your chaos emeralds in real life
[00:14:38] Wow, are those real?
[00:14:42] The music's good
[00:14:44] This is the rate of my I'm vibing
[00:14:49] The Australia
[00:14:53] This is the yellow one I can't see but I'm vibing
[00:14:59] There was this oh wait
[00:15:03] That's a simple yeah, this is some autistic Australian guy that has like a James Bond gun case with actual chaos emeralds
[00:15:10] And then what do you do with this besides make this one video and then put it under your bed show it to your autistic friends
[00:15:18] Yeah, I
[00:15:19] Got a really cool box
[00:15:23] No, I promise this time it doesn't have child porno. There's no
[00:15:27] You guys didn't want to do any more sleepovers after I showed you that really cool child porno
[00:15:33] Apologize I did not know it was illegal at the time. Oh come off it. No one had explained to me
[00:15:38] I
[00:15:39] Did it with that side, you know, it's funny because that does happen like severely autistic guys
[00:15:43] They just don't know the laws and they're like what if I saw a child naked
[00:15:50] And then I get fucking popped her child born shit
[00:15:53] We need to start the innocent autistic innocence project. Well, there's a guy
[00:15:56] There's actually a guy I remember reading about him years ago
[00:15:58] He's like, you know some guy with an autistic son and he's like he doesn't fucking know any better
[00:16:03] He's like please let him out of jail right right? Yeah, there's words
[00:16:07] Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's switches autistic I
[00:16:09] Challenge vagina Grofery to say on your show that I fucked her in her pussy
[00:16:16] That I held her down and raped her fucksually in her pussy and ass and say it on the show on record
[00:16:24] That I have sexually fuck you later her
[00:16:27] as a child
[00:16:29] She says I want her to state on the record that when she was a two-year-old baby
[00:16:33] I put my penis in her mouth in ears and if she's not willing to say that then you need to retract every single claim
[00:16:42] That I did anything wrong. I've never had sex my penis is big, but I've never used
[00:16:51] Everyone can tell you that I my penis is big it works, but I don't works
[00:16:55] But I've only in theory I've only used it on my wife and I've also had sex with thousands of women
[00:17:01] But I've also never had sex and I've never had sex
[00:17:09] You guys see that picture of Dersh who he had his hair grown out
[00:17:12] No, he was looking cute. Yeah, it's funny like every old dude every old Jewish boomer has like one picture of them from
[00:17:20] 1973 where they stop grooming themselves. They're like I was a revolutionary
[00:17:24] No, you look like a fucking idiot. I'm gonna wait until yeah, the raises are on sale
[00:17:29] Right you carried a guitar around the NYU campus for six months
[00:17:33] I was in the Symbianese liberation army
[00:17:36] I had a brief period where I thought black people liked me that turned out to be incorrect
[00:17:41] I was beaten and sexually assaulted and Harlem
[00:17:46] When I went out of saxophone put up my ass I
[00:17:50] Found myself relating the miles Davis and I thought I could go chill with the brothers
[00:17:55] And I was immediately beaten and robbed and they forced me to play a flute with my asshole and from that point on I
[00:18:04] Kept my politics, but I salated myself in an extremely upper-middle class
[00:18:10] Where none of them could ever have access to me physically
[00:18:14] I got my haircut and I trotted that picture out anytime anyone accused me of racism
[00:18:19] It's like that fucking picture of de Blasio you see that
[00:18:25] It's like from like the 70s. Oh fuck. He just looks like a fucking retard
[00:18:29] Yeah, you look like any like just the most obnoxious guys when you were a teen right right right
[00:18:35] Bob Dylan those yeah. Oh, yeah, those guys suck. No, I remember a guy like this with the guys in there like
[00:18:41] mid 30s
[00:18:43] I met this guy Adam still there guy that would like dress in like Ramones gear
[00:18:47] Well fucking like he had like Ray Van Club Masters on which hadn't really like cycled back in yet
[00:18:54] Yeah, and he said and I quote exact quote these are actually the sunglasses that Bob Dylan
[00:19:03] Like oh his actual sunglasses no no this style the same style
[00:19:08] Mm-hmm Wow cool, man. That's awesome. It's not enough to wear them. You have to let people know
[00:19:13] Well, I wasn't getting credit for it like I thought I would when I bought them
[00:19:18] So I needed to let you guys know they're actually Bob Dylan sunglasses, but he was a Ramones guy
[00:19:24] Yeah, he would wear like punk you were a Ramones shirt and tight pants. Oh cool
[00:19:29] Well, I like that he probably recognized that Bob Dylan was one of the first punks he showed up at
[00:19:35] At that open mic I ran at college per or whatever
[00:19:38] And Joe Robinson was on stage one night and fucking it somehow they got into it
[00:19:44] Mm-hmm and that guy was like a regular and
[00:19:47] And Joe didn't know I was like kind of friendly with the guy
[00:19:50] But yeah, but Joe like Joe has no idea who this kid is and he's there and he's like said something during Joe's set
[00:19:56] And Joe was like shut the fuck up. Yeah
[00:20:00] And and the kids like oh I help I'm being threatened by a pedophile or whatever and Joe's like yeah
[00:20:07] You got me I look like a real pedophile in my t-shirt and jeans
[00:20:12] You know and then he's like let me ask you said you wake up in the morning you put all that shit on and you look at the mirror
[00:20:17] And you say to yourself. Yep. I look cool
[00:20:21] And he's not like Joe just started bullying him
[00:20:24] Yeah, like relentlessly until like the waitstaff was like fucking like yeah
[00:20:29] I don't think the kid cried or anything but he like stormed off and he was upset
[00:20:32] And they're like you got to go that guy's one of our customers just like fine
[00:20:35] You know is like you got to apologize to him and Joe's like I'm absolutely not apologizing to him
[00:20:41] He's like you can tell me to leave right?
[00:20:43] It's your business, but you're not gonna tell me that I can't apologize to him or tell me what I can even fucking say to
[00:20:49] Right, I'll leave but this guy's a fuck. You know you have it's a coffee shop
[00:20:52] Yeah, and then it turned into this like bigger debate
[00:20:55] You know and then they were threatening to call the police on Joe Ralph's
[00:20:59] For being me if I get it for being mean that the Bob Dylan sunglasses guy
[00:21:05] Adam, what do you stand on that? I don't know. I think it's cool. It's a guy, right?
[00:21:09] It's cool that he found the sunglasses. Yeah, you would have been friends with him
[00:21:13] I wouldn't have been friends with him, but I would have said you know I was respected
[00:21:16] No, I wouldn't have been friends with you probably would have gone over his house
[00:21:19] No, I'm a lot more
[00:21:20] Virginia Grouffree to go on record on your show and say that I sexually raped her while wearing Bob Dylan sunglasses and
[00:21:28] If she's not willing to do that then you need the printer retraction that says I've never had a massage
[00:21:36] That I've never met Jeffrey Epstein and in fact
[00:21:41] My dick is huge and make put that in the first one in there
[00:21:45] It should be in there before you even retract the other stuff. I'll be right back lead with me having a big dick
[00:21:50] I'm suing the show billions because they
[00:21:53] Implied that my penis is small
[00:21:56] I'm sure I'm suing the show billions because the title of their show is the amount of inches of penis that I have
[00:22:04] They stole it from me. They stole that
[00:22:07] No, that is the whole concept of billions from my penis that didn't that didn't exist
[00:22:12] Prior to Dershowitz's penis
[00:22:18] Fuck get myself again the other day with
[00:22:22] 525,600 inches how do you measure it size of my dick? Yes, sir
[00:22:31] 25,000 what a great what a great song a great home. I had another I was doing one in the shower. I can't remember it
[00:22:37] I know oh
[00:22:38] It'll come to me though some about being gay. Yeah, it's about
[00:22:44] Fuck it was like an old timey song to yeah, I was thinking again about how the best one is the song tequila
[00:22:50] You keep the instrumental the 14 minute
[00:22:54] And then it's just my pain
[00:22:56] Yes, that's correct
[00:23:06] Try to do like a weird owl thing
[00:23:13] 14 minutes to keep my pain
[00:23:16] But I know that I know that I know what a cool song that I would love to just get just get trashed
[00:23:27] It's back in the 50s me and my boys hanging out. We're all good and ready to go home and beat our wives
[00:23:36] Yeah, I always wanted to be one of those guys from those movies just like the slick
[00:23:41] Spousal abuse guy that's bound to get us with your boys about to get his come up and sit the end
[00:23:46] But for now the town the guy who's bullying well at minute 40. Yeah at minute 40. That's top of the world. Yeah, it's two-hour movie
[00:23:54] Yeah, that's true
[00:23:56] And you know what most of life is minute 40
[00:23:59] Yeah, there's almost never any come up in that's that's just movies
[00:24:03] My wife's been hanging out with some fucking retard. Let's go bully him
[00:24:07] Let's go bully that read your mom. I thought your mom
[00:24:11] I thought your wife was a teacher. She's she was teaching read yeah, my wife is a teacher to retarded school
[00:24:17] I'm gonna show up in the class of my boys at night school. She teaches night school
[00:24:21] I don't like how much time she's been spending with her them to retards have night school
[00:24:26] Imagine what you got to do is a retard end up in reteard night double to be to double fit to fail out of yeah
[00:24:33] Yeah, I don't know
[00:24:35] Probably have to be extra retarded. I would guess well. They're like the bad kids. Yeah the bad guys. Yeah
[00:24:41] They probably try to get some pussy off some other
[00:24:43] Not go over the block my friend. I had a friend who worked at
[00:24:47] At a high school that was like all special needs motherfuckers and they were straight up fucking and sucking too
[00:24:53] Like you could not leave them unattended. They would start fucking and sucking
[00:24:58] Mm-hmm, which is you know, it's nice to know that nature finds a way I'll endurcher with school for the gifted and how he's like their professor ex
[00:25:06] Yeah
[00:25:09] Yep, I challenge you to say that I've raped exactly 56 women
[00:25:15] Make the claim that I've raped 56 women no more no less I challenge you to say that on your show and it's not prices
[00:25:24] Right rules. It cannot be close to Adam used to idolize that guy
[00:25:29] Dershwin. Yeah, well when I read a case for Israel. I really I really found a soft spot for him
[00:25:36] No, but when I was a kid I did think that OJ's defense team was very cool
[00:25:41] The whole gang but mainly Johnny Cochrane
[00:25:45] Because of all the rhymes the rhyming was cool. Yeah, I thought it was cool that he rhymed
[00:25:49] Um, yeah, Barry Shek. Did you really like the science guy?
[00:25:55] No, I didn't like there's no idea. What do you mean? I idolize
[00:26:00] This is another lie. He's one of your favorite lawyers. This is a minus one be honest
[00:26:04] I challenge Adam to say on the show that he did not idolize me. No, I never thought it's cool
[00:26:11] You didn't think he was he wasn't in your top 10 lawyers as a kid
[00:26:14] Um, no in my lawyers list. No, he was not there. How do you know that because I had a top 10 neighbors list right now?
[00:26:22] Atticus Finch
[00:26:23] Okay, number one to kill a mockingbird. Okay crushed it
[00:26:28] You got the
[00:26:30] The firm Tom Cruise's character in the firm. Okay classic the firm is also he gets pussy and yeah
[00:26:37] Okay, it ever gets fully hard, but it's firm. Yeah, it's firm. It's firm. It's not stiff. It's firm
[00:26:48] You're super primal fear. No, I might have talked about on the show. It's a Richard gear movie
[00:26:54] But yeah, it's like the that's the more he gets cooked. No, it's the one where he plays like a lawyer
[00:27:00] Who there's a kid that's been accused of murdering some like Bishop or whatever Boston? Oh, I think Bishop raped him
[00:27:08] I guess yeah
[00:27:08] Bishop had been like forcing him to do porn and then they'd like the Bishop had all this porn or something wait with girls
[00:27:14] It's like a thriller with guys with girls. All right, you know in the grand scheme of getting really got him up
[00:27:21] He got him pussy. Yeah, that's but this is one of the best the dialogue in the movie is like so fucking embarrassing
[00:27:27] Yeah, yeah, I believe it. Yeah, is it a John Grisham book? I can't remember
[00:27:32] It doesn't write about that type of shit when fucking writes about lawyers when when getting fucked children when
[00:27:40] Richard gear meets Edward Norton's character. He's in jail
[00:27:43] Richard gear just sits down in the cell. He's like I'm what you call one of those big shot attorneys
[00:27:50] How much go one of those hot shot wheeling and dealing I'll be talking fast
[00:27:55] I'll be having nice suits and then Edward Norton is supposed to be like mentally retard. He's like an orphan
[00:28:00] But it's like Boston, you know, he's like I didn't I didn't know any better, you know, whatever
[00:28:04] Yeah, he's like some fucking like he's like John coffee
[00:28:07] So in the like the way you play retarded Boston is having a southern action. I guess
[00:28:12] Well, that is actually true. That's what goes on and we're talking about the green penis the other day. Oh, very nice Michael Clark penis
[00:28:19] Yeah, that's just a recipe for
[00:28:21] Yeah, or a clerk penis. That's good. You got to know this boss is it's got what's his name?
[00:28:27] What's the care with Tom Tom Hanks's name? I forget Tom penis. Yeah, Tom penis. You got to see this guys
[00:28:34] His penis is unlike anything we obviously he's got bugs. Yeah fucking
[00:28:39] Michael Clark penis plays a guy who's arrested because there's an upper limit your dicks captain 13 inches in in Louisiana
[00:28:46] 2020 of course in Louisiana in 1920 the average dick size is about nine and a half inches. Yeah across the board
[00:28:53] Including children. Oh, yeah, they were walking around everybody
[00:28:58] Pre-pre-air conditioning Louisiana. Oh, yeah, your dick is what the humanity did to dick. Yeah
[00:29:05] Meat. Yeah, you were just fucking hog meat everybody Cajun stuff the pussy's still are recovering generations later
[00:29:11] Who's he's there still that's why they came up with more they had to do Marty gross cuz the dicks were so my car
[00:29:19] Penis just says like a flaccid fire hydrant hanging from
[00:29:24] And they're like, you know, he's like what what's your name son Joe John John Penis
[00:29:30] Like a cock but not spelled the same
[00:29:33] What's the actual movie he's smart or has no he has magic powers he's in jail. He's in jail. Yeah for being black
[00:29:42] That's a cool movie. Mm-hmm. And he he's French guys like what is it?
[00:29:46] They put them in jail because his penis to be
[00:29:50] And then he's got a little severed dick that he plays with like instead of a mouse. It's his little friend. Yeah
[00:29:56] This is my friend. He's a penis
[00:29:58] Mr. Penis I call him is going to go to the penis circus
[00:30:05] Mr. Miss dad Johnson said they're going to take him to the penis circus
[00:30:10] mobile
[00:30:12] What's his been Percy's like Percy's a guy who doesn't have a dick. Oh Percy the guard in the girl guard
[00:30:17] He's like hey, just let you know. They know penis circus. I was like I was like that
[00:30:23] What do you mean there's no penis circus?
[00:30:27] Barry Pepper Barry Pepper does not play Percy whose Percy the Percy's place awesome name
[00:30:33] Yeah, his name is Barry Pepper is one of the guards. He's one of the guards. It's David Morse
[00:30:39] Now, okay, what kind of fuck does he have fireballs Barry Pepper? No the magic guy. Oh, no
[00:30:44] He heals people with bugs or something. What is it? That's why he's in jail. It's fucked up
[00:30:50] He sucks bugs. He sucks bugs out of sick people. That's cool. Why wouldn't they make him a doctor?
[00:30:56] Why would they put him in jail?
[00:30:59] Backwards the old south was not spilled what do you get caught for for being black?
[00:31:03] For having a 13-inch or that holland. Doug Hutchison plays
[00:31:08] Percy
[00:31:09] Fuck him Percy went more
[00:31:12] Went more I always loved seeing Barry Pepper in a movie. That's such a cool name. He's your own restaurants
[00:31:18] Yeah, Barry Pepper's very peppers grill. Yeah, Barry Pepper's bar and grill. Yeah
[00:31:25] He's in a lot of movies there for a while
[00:31:27] Damn, I wish my who's in saving private, right? I think I just saw a trailer for something where he's playing a sniper again Barry Pepper
[00:31:33] Yeah, he was in the guy's not fat enough to be named Barry Pepper. He was in what do you call it?
[00:31:38] British the Scientology movie
[00:31:41] the
[00:31:43] with
[00:31:44] Battlefield dude his sister's wife is named Cindy Pepper. That's so sick. Oh, what the fuck is real name is Campbell River
[00:31:52] That's a great name. What the fuck is up with these fucking plop around?
[00:31:55] He threw away cramp Campbell River for Barry Pepper. Oh, no, I'm sorry. He was born in the city of Campbell River
[00:32:04] That would have been such a cool name. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's Canadian. Okay. He should be be should be British
[00:32:10] Barry Pepper Barry Pepper. No, we're so this Doug Hutchinson guy just stopped being in movies a decade ago
[00:32:17] You may be dead. No, he's so live
[00:32:20] Yeah, 2009 was his last film
[00:32:23] Maybe he didn't like the hustle and bustle on all the pussy. Yeah, maybe you're required. They're retired
[00:32:28] Maybe it's like Rick Moranis's wife Moranis style. Yeah, and he had to care for his children. No cuz he's so on TV
[00:32:35] Mm-hmm. Maybe he didn't like film industry. Maybe he's strong. You could tell better stories
[00:32:40] Yeah, this is the last entry in personal life on April 8th
[00:32:44] 2018 Hutchinson announced via the Eric and the deer the goat YouTube channel who returned to Detroit to find Eric Brown
[00:32:52] Who travels the country with a therapy goat to spread peace and then he fully supports Brown's initiative
[00:32:58] What who's Eric Brown? I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming he went insane and just became yeah
[00:33:07] Oh
[00:33:08] This is interesting. Yeah
[00:33:11] on May 20th 2011 Hutchinson married his third wife Courtney Stodden
[00:33:16] Oh that guy is that your criticism?
[00:33:20] Custod she was a guy. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. Are they still together? No, I think stodd is out there
[00:33:27] Yeah, trying to get trying to score one more big she was like she was 16 and she had like mad plastic surgery already
[00:33:34] Yeah, she had huge did he had huge tips. Yeah, we see death threats. I don't even remember this happening. Oh, that was a huge story
[00:33:41] That was a that was a that was a clickbait
[00:33:45] Legendary clickbait. I think for 2011 I was drunk that entire year. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I don't remember anything
[00:33:53] Mm-hmm damn. So yeah, he definitely went crazy. Yeah, he's fucking married a sick a child with big tits
[00:33:58] I forgot that that's with her parents had to write a permission slip. Those like this old man can fuck our child
[00:34:05] Mm-hmm. John love it. Oh, wow. This is this is who we married. Yeah, that's crazy or what's it?
[00:34:11] I mean even if this weren't a child you like like you know if this were a fully grown adult
[00:34:17] I'd be like there's too much risk fact absolutely. Yeah, this is not worth it the marriage
[00:34:21] I'm not a sane human being. I wonder which way that that's what happened with a Jeff Ross, right?
[00:34:27] He got a permission slip. No, but he wasn't married. Oh, they were just dating
[00:34:32] I watched all that woman's videos and read the the story or whatever because like I didn't really pay attention to it
[00:34:38] Mm-hmm cuz I was only what three weeks ago. Yeah, I've been able to check out
[00:34:43] and
[00:34:44] Then yeah, that seems like a weird thing going on with that genome woman. I didn't really I didn't really
[00:34:51] I guess she wanted like Boston comedy club, but like you read that woman's account
[00:34:55] It almost feels like that Gina woman like procured children for whoa
[00:35:00] She's like she was like the land. She's like low low tier galaine. Yeah kind of but then the girls father in the story is hilarious
[00:35:08] The what the girls father in the stories hilarious cuz like Jeff Ross is like 34 at the time
[00:35:12] He's like calling up this like 16 year old girl's house to like fuck a 16 year old Jesus Christ
[00:35:18] And then like not a go on a date like the girls like he's like calling the father to be like
[00:35:24] Can you send your daughter to my apartment? They live in like live by LaGuardia?
[00:35:28] Jesus and he's I put your daughter in a cab in the center of my apartment in the dad's like hell. Yeah
[00:35:34] Do the rose master general? Yeah? Oh fucking the daughters like the daughters like asking with the dad permission
[00:35:40] He's like any guy that's been on Letterman can fuck
[00:35:43] And the woman's like because she like came forward with these accusations like a month ago
[00:35:49] She's like posted another video where she's like my dad's not speaking to me anymore
[00:35:52] She's like fuck dude. Yeah, you're gonna talk about 40 minute guys. Let him. Oh, that's that guy's
[00:36:00] Doing coke with Jeff Ross just doing coke with Jeff Ross not caring played by Dwight yokem
[00:36:07] I don't give a shit. Yeah, I'll tell her all the time. You're my daughter
[00:36:11] I love you, but how the fuck do you think I got a daughter by getting pussy you dumb bitch
[00:36:16] Get in the van
[00:36:22] Fuck yeah
[00:36:24] Yeah, that's a wild one how the fuck you think what I opened a door and then your bitch has materialized in my fucking mailbox
[00:36:31] No, no, I fucking I nut it. I missed time to nut run too many times rod
[00:36:37] I refuse to go have some abortion and here you were four months after that there you go
[00:36:45] There you done go here you are
[00:36:48] Your mother called my bluff about the abortion
[00:36:51] Let me ask you this why are you asking my fucking permission if you what oh you want me to save you?
[00:36:56] Well, I'm not that kind of
[00:37:00] You want the answer to be no because you want any indication that I'm a real father that I care even the slightest amount
[00:37:07] Yeah, that's not the kind of guy you should have known when they cast Dwight yokem in my room
[00:37:13] Not be what you're getting at it
[00:37:14] What you are getting is essentially a man's sex trafficking his own daughter
[00:37:18] Perhaps to be friends with a comedian that wasn't even that famous
[00:37:21] Maybe perhaps if Tom Hanks had been cast as your father. That's what you'd be get
[00:37:26] But two hours ago when your life became a movie and they cast me
[00:37:31] Yokem played your dad in the role of Hank dad
[00:37:34] Hank father
[00:37:39] Damn that's uh
[00:37:41] That's gay. Yeah, no it is it is like I mean like you've read so many of those things that
[00:37:48] eventually
[00:37:50] You know, they just sort of wash over you
[00:37:52] It's weird that that one complete like that came out right with the crystallization
[00:37:56] Mm-hmm and the crystallization was fucking
[00:37:59] Wildfire and no one gave it's really honestly dwarfed by the crystallization
[00:38:03] Reason why is because the like I mean this is all it's it's shitty to say but it is all still content
[00:38:09] And the way it was delivered was in a way that wasn't easy to consume people didn't want to sit there and watch 10 different YouTube videos
[00:38:16] You read like 15 Facebook posts from one lady. It's like it's it's it is like it has to be tweetable
[00:38:23] It's fucking entertainment. I mean it's sick, but it's like that's like exo Jane's kind of responsible
[00:38:28] Like fucking six years ago. They were like well like you can you can well
[00:38:33] We have your freelancer money if you give us a juicy account of you being raped right right and then it turned all of these accusations into like a
[00:38:42] Identifiable like genre almost no you're right
[00:38:46] And and if like you kind of violate the contentions of how that those those stories play out then it's like it just doesn't sell
[00:38:53] Which you should have done is had niez on Zimmerman culminate or like, you know, break down her entire accusation and put it in like a fun
[00:39:01] Listical format gotta be list goes back click through which you know, I don't know if listicles are still even the way to go
[00:39:06] I don't even know you think about the dahlia thing and it had more of a tick-tock kind of vibe
[00:39:10] Yeah, that's true and and the presentation of the evidence was in a way that we could digest and it seems from the
[00:39:16] It was a thread. Yeah, I feel like wasn't it? Yeah, and it's not really about credibility so much as like again
[00:39:22] Conforming to sort of branding conventions that are our contemporary and emergent. Mm-hmm. I guess threads are the new listicle. Yeah
[00:39:30] So yeah, people love thread people love threads. Yeah, you got that's thing if you want to accuse someone of rape
[00:39:35] You got to make sure it's slick. You got to have a slick thread. You got to have some nice
[00:39:40] Some clips of him on a podcast being like whoa
[00:39:44] That one is one of the funniest
[00:39:46] Time when he's realizing snapchats don't disappear
[00:39:54] Yeah, Brian Cowan's getting in now, too. Yeah, and I saw some clip of Lewis Jesus Christ
[00:39:59] What's Lewis and he's like I'll tell you what I think and which
[00:40:04] That's where those of you pause the video and you go get a cell sir. Yeah
[00:40:09] Knuckles get some popcorn
[00:40:11] Which with it so funny because the Lewis is making a home gym now and he posted he's like does anyone have any experience with this?
[00:40:17] He posted a picture of a bow flex. I saw that so funny to imagine
[00:40:22] Just Lewis fucking murder and killing James, you know and then himself and then finding out that he had CTA from trying to come up with arguments
[00:40:31] Give himself brain damage trying to try to figure out what the real story behind a rapist
[00:40:38] Behind the guy raping
[00:40:40] When he was hot in Hollywood 20 years ago. Yeah, no, but Lewis and it might have been out of context, but
[00:40:48] He's like I'll tell you what it is
[00:40:51] When people saw because Rogan is so good what he does and he didn't need the system when people saw the numbers from the Spotify
[00:40:58] The they had to figure out how to go after Rogan and because he's so squeaky clean
[00:41:03] They had to go after his crew and it's like so just let me get this
[00:41:06] They I'm presuming is legacy media. Yeah, so Viacom and
[00:41:14] fucking CBS have concocted false rape allegations against Chris de Lea and that and then Brian and Brian Callan and Joey Joey
[00:41:25] Coco Joey cock idea
[00:41:27] To take down Joe Rogan so that Spotify has to fire him. Here's what happened
[00:41:33] 20 Viacom got a time machine. They put a woman back to 1994 to get rid by Brian Callan. Mm-hmm, and here we are today
[00:41:42] Mm-hmm. That's so fucking funny
[00:41:45] What did Rogan move to Texas? Is that what people are saying? He said he was going to say he was going to celebrity
[00:41:50] Should never fucking say where they're going to move until they've actually done it
[00:41:54] Yeah, and I know I do that all the time, but I'm not a celebrity. I'm a beloved cultural icon
[00:41:59] I'm like the Statue of Liberty
[00:42:10] You know or Bob's big boy, yeah, I'm like a you're like that big boy with the burgers a Michelin guy
[00:42:17] You know Tony the tiger. Yes a symbol a symbol for what's good in the world. Yeah
[00:42:22] A beacon of hope right beacon Jonathan Livingston seagull. Mm-hmm. That's me. That's you
[00:42:31] That was michael Jackson's favorite book was it what?
[00:42:35] Jonathan Livingston seagull said a book
[00:42:38] Yeah about a seagull who wanted to fly higher than any other seagull and
[00:42:42] Get close as close as he could to the Sun stole that shit from acre Icarus bitch. It's basically Icarus fuck him
[00:42:49] Fuck Jonathan she and then he gave that book to Kobe Bryant when he was 19. Yeah, he said you and me are different
[00:42:58] You and me you and me are different Kobe I fuck children. I fuck kids you fuck grown ass women
[00:43:04] But no one's gonna ever understand us
[00:43:08] No one I ever get it. No one I understand. This is why I'm gonna give you this book for babies to understand it Kobe
[00:43:14] I find pussy is disgusting
[00:43:16] You like I like little dicks you like grown pussies
[00:43:21] But we but we're both the same. It's crazy green mountain now that I'm looking at the cast
[00:43:26] It's like it's like a who's who of character actors whose names I forget constantly mm-hmm
[00:43:32] Like who Barry pepper Jeffrey demand who's that cool name this guy?
[00:43:38] Jeffrey the money. Oh that guy. Yeah, I'm sweating my fucking tits off. Can we put the AC on my back on?
[00:43:44] We're trying to kill stop dude. I'm gonna die. I got a headache
[00:43:47] From being from having a heart ass dick
[00:44:17] I think
[00:44:20] Think often about like what's the funniest way to kill yourself
[00:44:23] Mm-hmm so you get your family together and you see you're going on like a vacation in Myrtle Beach summertime
[00:44:28] Did you've been depressed for years? You've been hiding it? Yes? This is different man than myself
[00:44:32] It's not like yeah, just like just stealing
[00:44:37] Hiding it totally no one has any inclination pretending he satisfied with his life in like fucking you know Morris Town doing some kind of finance
[00:44:44] Yes, he remembers his old the Blazio picture days
[00:44:48] Of course and he thought he would be a novelist and then happen and I'd at least get like nice pussy in his 40s
[00:44:54] Yeah, and they just like he watches
[00:44:55] It's one morning where he's watching his Jewish wife put her clothes on and she's just disgusting
[00:45:01] He thinks she was never that great never that great
[00:45:04] It was kind of just got locked
[00:45:06] He felt like well I've dated enough people and kind of and he's just been on this like kind of conveyor belt towards death
[00:45:12] Anywhere sure she's the same kind of annoying as my mother
[00:45:16] So the story's about Adam. Yeah
[00:45:20] Remembering he was like I was one of the funniest people in the world
[00:45:23] In that one picture the podcast ended I was one of the funniest people top three
[00:45:28] I was widely regarded as one of the greatest comedians
[00:45:32] Beloved beloved another beloved cultural love right again
[00:45:35] And so they you put a trip to Merle's Beach and they get that you said Merle's Beach
[00:45:40] I was in that was a homage to your fuck up earlier
[00:45:43] Well because we made the character you the homage and this is the highest floor for a flattery
[00:45:48] No, it's that's not even the thing. It's it's you have to interrupt my story. Oh, I pointed something out
[00:45:55] No, let the critics do that. Okay, okay. We're making art here. You understand
[00:46:00] There's a cottage industry based off of right out writing up every single one of these episodes
[00:46:05] We got to give them something to talk about it
[00:46:06] But now you've pointed it out and now that's a little different
[00:46:10] Myrtle's Beach when the character becomes you and then Myrtle Beach becomes Myrtle's Beach immediately after
[00:46:16] Okay, didn't you right? I mean it shows it shows my commitment to being involved in the world
[00:46:22] So I got nothing even as he seems to not be listening to you. Yeah
[00:46:26] To try and point out an error he is to point out an error when in fact I'm showing my admiration for you as a character
[00:46:33] Not necessarily as a man. I'll take that. I'll take whatever whatever
[00:46:40] My respect for them I respect for you and obviously to write you accurately
[00:46:46] That it immediately becomes Myrtle's Beach
[00:46:48] Maybe you can take that to heart if you understand the nuance of the character
[00:46:52] Tell understand that that the the very worst thing that you could say about me is that I am an honest biographer
[00:46:58] It's true. No, I would not actually say that and as a monster. Yeah, the only thing you want is to have that biographer
[00:47:06] Yeah, it's true so in death in mockery in any of these things. I'm still your god. Yes
[00:47:14] All right, all right, so your pearls Beach drive down there
[00:47:18] So the plan is is you know, maybe you have one day at the beach and then you all go out to Dick's last resort of course and
[00:47:24] And a 17 year old with a little mustache because you'll fag it. Yeah, so you sit in front of my family
[00:47:31] Your family and then you pretend to laugh it off and you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then you go out to the rental car
[00:47:38] And you pull a gun out of the glove box and just just spray your brain all over the roof fucking key is serenity
[00:47:46] Your family sitting there though. Where's dad? Yeah, please. I would love to this so good for so many reasons
[00:47:53] Yeah, number one your family would be like oh Mike. I can't even respect my dead father
[00:47:58] Yeah, like it's like you don't have any you're like if you find out your dad is depressed and he's had a battle
[00:48:03] And he killed himself. You're like Jesus. What could I've done?
[00:48:05] But if your dad killed himself because some fucking piece of shit is the last draw
[00:48:09] Yeah, the last he's a week you can't even you don't even give them the saddest he's not a real man
[00:48:15] He's not even given the satisfaction of of the deifying you in death or finding some value
[00:48:20] You know your family's too stupid to do that
[00:48:23] So it's like you know that that's enough of a cover stories
[00:48:25] You went to Dick's last resort and somebody called you gay
[00:48:28] So you blew your brains and the other nice thing is the question the real question is why did he already had the gun?
[00:48:33] All right, and that's oh that's gives you another quick you're right and I was gonna say this though
[00:48:38] It also one final malicious act for Adam one little country because this is Adam's character
[00:48:44] Mm-hmm one little country thing to do is their name well in no way is to ruin the life of this stupid waiter
[00:48:50] Kid, yes
[00:48:53] It shows his lack of consideration for right for working people. Yes, it's entirely superficial
[00:48:59] Yes, and Adam in the character Adam's mind
[00:49:05] Right it's Adam's minds is the name. I'm not I'm not a real working man
[00:49:09] I work at my father-in-law's accounting and the Adam's minds is it's not clear
[00:49:14] And so the tight the cover of the movie because every part of it has to be art the cover of the movie there's a piece of blood splatter in
[00:49:21] Between the second D in the ass. So we're never sure if that's supposed to represent an apostrophe or if it's just a graphic design choice
[00:49:28] Because the cover is of course
[00:49:31] Brain blown out all over the room Adams mind would be like a Myrtle's Beach
[00:49:36] Was it possessive or is it indicating?
[00:49:38] There's a plurality
[00:49:40] Yeah, you know there's multiple minds here and what's beautiful about it is in some ways it's it's stroding
[00:49:47] Jurs a apostrophe. Yes, because it both is that and it is not that yeah, so at the same time
[00:49:52] It's but it's neither and it's both. Yeah, there's also to the the the imagery of
[00:49:57] Adam's literal brains being splattered all over the front
[00:50:01] So Adams minds could take on a literal sense and then we're looking so now you have this this this
[00:50:07] Trifacta of imagery a triptych almost where we see Adams mind
[00:50:13] I'm sick for a small dick for a small dick and it's a trip dick because we're going on a trip to Myrtle's Beach
[00:50:18] He's a dick and is it a dick splatters or it's not a visit
[00:50:23] You're a dick there. Yeah life and I'm a dickhead in life. Yeah, I mean the character out of it
[00:50:27] So then even then the word trip ugly white trip dick itself becomes then enveloped in in this this grand mystery of life
[00:50:34] A trip stick perhaps which cuz I've often said trip. I've often said there's no greater story than life itself
[00:50:40] Dude, I've often said you said that a lot there was numerous times there was a lot of Dunkin donuts 15 minutes ago
[00:50:46] I'm getting muffins and then there was also the time to the police when they were they were asking me, you know
[00:50:51] I hear see why I see I
[00:50:54] Don't need every locker in the YMCA. I was like I was setting myself up for I was doing research for a film
[00:51:01] Called Adams mine, yes, and they're like is that plural? Why did you break into that?
[00:51:06] That's very interesting that you asked that I can't answer that question right so you know refusing the answer
[00:51:12] Crime yeah, have you seen the ending of the sopranos? Yes, it's kind of like that. It's similar
[00:51:20] Don't stop sucking my penis
[00:51:23] Yeah, yeah, hold on to my penis
[00:51:37] Nice I like Adams minds. That's what I think we got something. Yeah, I think that's a feature like I think that's a palm door
[00:51:45] Winner right there
[00:51:47] That's those are the characters last words in the movie someone insulting him and he goes yeah, I think that's a palm door
[00:51:54] And the waiter's like
[00:51:57] Ooh look at me. I know about a
[00:52:00] Yeah, and that was that was the last straw Jewish that was the last straw
[00:52:04] We do see Adam kind of rationalizing the suicide because he thinks he's like I'm gonna make that guy
[00:52:09] I think he's so good at insulting people that the guy killed himself. Yeah, I'm trying to help him out because Adam as as
[00:52:15] A monster that's how he would take it. He would take it. He would think I'm so good at insulting people
[00:52:20] I'm wow. This is actually a compliment to me, right?
[00:52:23] And I don't think about the implications of my actions
[00:52:25] I don't think about the human beings behind the stories
[00:52:29] Right, you just did his job because no one is actually a human being. They're just characters in the movie
[00:52:34] Right because Adam writing an Adam's got an Adam's mind
[00:52:38] That Adams is he's got tired. He got tired of his life as a finance guy
[00:52:42] After the podcast and so he's working on a movie about the woman that was raped by
[00:52:49] Jeff Ross, right and she begs and pleads him in the story to not cast Dwight Yokem as her father
[00:52:56] but that also the
[00:52:59] The morality she can be pleased not have Dwight Yokem as my father
[00:53:04] Yeah, there's an Adam fires her and he actually hires the father because he says to really get vibes are better
[00:53:09] The psychology of this character we need to understand the father's motivations because what are women other than just victimized extensions of their fathers in a rosy?
[00:53:17] That's 100% true. It's something I've often said you've often said that life is a trip
[00:53:22] Yeah, what are women if not I don't get what you're saying extensions of the about this care
[00:53:26] Yes, I don't get what you're saying though about this character Adam
[00:53:31] We say after the podcast. I don't get what that
[00:53:34] Well this character was on a podcast what's kind of center to this character
[00:53:40] This is a care gets really lucky and through almost no work or talent of his own. Yeah, true as kind of a career-handed
[00:53:46] Yeah, there's another character named the biographer
[00:53:49] who is
[00:53:51] Ed Harris and
[00:53:53] In the Truman the Truman show. Yeah, he's got a beret on and it's not because he's balding and he's like
[00:54:00] It's because he's something the only straight man they could pull it off actually
[00:54:06] From having sex it was a it's on the very top. He's a little gold star. He's so good at sexy glowing out of pussy from women
[00:54:13] It says number one pussy blower outer
[00:54:16] Top of the burrit. But then this character is actually represented by two characters one of them is a morbidly obese
[00:54:21] No, there is not that character actually doesn't
[00:54:24] There's a third character called the very cool guy
[00:54:27] Yeah, and he's played by Jason statham, but he's packed on 20 pounds of muscle. Yeah
[00:54:35] 20 pounds of muscle. Yeah, Jason statham actually
[00:54:40] I had a guy white boy bananas
[00:54:44] I was every day I need 200 bananas
[00:54:49] And the get the pussy getting cool guy is kind of like what both of the two characters are jealous of
[00:54:54] Because he just lives his life so beautifully and simply yeah a lot of people say that the ed Harris character is underwritten
[00:55:01] But the truth is he has autism and feels nothing
[00:55:04] He doesn't have to have any clear motivations
[00:55:07] He just wants to be in the movie totally and the biographer and the cool guy
[00:55:11] Bond in how I thought the biographer was the cool. No, no, yeah, that's a different carries
[00:55:16] That's a oh the cool guy is the Jason say of them. He's jason saitha with 20 pounds who's put on wait for the put on 20 pounds
[00:55:22] A muscle for the role. Okay. I didn't even think he can get more muscles. Well, he can well
[00:55:29] and then so
[00:55:30] So they are like in a controlled booth watching adam's minds. Yeah, adam's mom and they're like camera three
[00:55:38] Yeah, they're different before it's kind of a better slow. You know, I said I didn't like the charlie koffman thing about violets or whatever the fuck that gas movie was about
[00:55:46] Yeah, and he's got adaptation the violence violence of the mind the violence of the
[00:55:53] This is actually a good version of that where the two guys are characters who behind the biographer
[00:55:59] But they're also directing the movie. Okay. They're in a control booth
[00:56:02] No, they're the two co-directors and that's funny because adam's minds character thinks that he's the director of his own story
[00:56:08] But in reality you have two other people directing it
[00:56:11] Right. Yeah, so he actually has absolutely no control over the zero control
[00:56:16] The illusion of control the whole time too. He thinks his wife is the one that's Jewish but actually it's him. Yeah. Oh god
[00:56:21] That's a big turn. That's a huge twist. That's one of the big
[00:56:25] Twist of the end
[00:56:28] He's looking at his life and he's because yeah, he's looking at it. He turns out
[00:56:32] She's been hot the whole time and when she's gay, right? She walks past a mirror. Yeah, he's a friend of pussy
[00:56:38] Yeah, he's afraid of pussy. She's actually she's played by dawflungren in any of the
[00:56:43] reflected shots where we're not we're not observing her through the eyes of adam
[00:56:47] Right
[00:56:49] He's like, huh. I just have this hideous Jewish wife, but in reality he's being violently topped by the dawflungren
[00:56:56] Exactly who is
[00:56:58] Yes, yeah, who's best friends with Dwight yokem and that's how Dwight yokem got the role in the movie
[00:57:03] Okay
[00:57:04] And it represents how adam has betrayed
[00:57:06] The actual star of the movie which is jeff ross's
[00:57:14] Yeah
[00:57:16] Is trying to make the movie about jeff ross's oh yes, yeah, of course
[00:57:20] Wow, you've known as part of a larger movie called adaptation at empty
[00:57:28] That's true. They should release the movie in a movie for movies, you know what I mean for sure
[00:57:34] They should have released chubby rain with bowfinger as its own separate movie. I agree. I agree. Yeah, Heather
[00:57:41] What's her face is grand bo-fingers. She's she's my number one. Oh, she's so good. I'd like to hold finger
[00:57:48] I saw her once in the city. Yeah, she looked at me. She was checking me out. I've seen her a lot
[00:57:54] No, I've seen her more time. She wanted to fuck me
[00:57:57] Looked at her for sure more than you guys. I've looked at parts of her that you guys haven't you know
[00:58:01] I'll like I'll let it slide there. You're talking about a woman that I've had sex with like this
[00:58:05] No, it's weird. That's kind of crazy that you say that's kind of weird because when we were both crossing the street
[00:58:10] She was crossing in the opposite direction. She was checking me out in the penis
[00:58:15] I contact me in this area. She's raped me. So I was raped by her and she feels guilt about it
[00:58:21] Oh, that's true. That's that day when she came to my apartment. I was like, I just soaked two gay guys ever seen
[00:58:26] No, she looked at my side one of them. I've never seen before ever. Certainly not years before I ever met you. No when I took advantage of him
[00:58:33] Well, I don't know why you're right. She did say that
[00:58:36] I was hanging out with Dwight yoke him. She didn't say that
[00:58:39] Happened no, I don't know why she did why he did the time was getting it was 1998. He was getting real in the rape
[00:58:45] And he kept telling everyone to do it right and me and brian kalen
[00:58:49] Mm-hmm. Where we there was a whole crew back then was Dwight yoke him brian did i get you about
[00:58:56] Chris to say 10 years old. I was 10 years old and Heather Graham raped me
[00:59:01] Which honestly now that I'm thinking about is a 10 year old would be chill
[00:59:05] I would have I because when I was formative when I was 10 I had a huge crush on Heather. I loved her so much
[00:59:11] Yeah, I could see that I I forget his purr. What was she in? She was in like like
[00:59:15] O
[00:59:37] That's a you're right
[00:59:39] It's great when a woman who's been naked a lot of shit gets in a movie that kids
[00:59:42] Because you're like it's one of the biggest lottery
[00:59:47] You could win his child
[00:59:50] Because in every movie you're like you want to see a hot the hot girl's tits and then you're like boy
[00:59:55] That might be one of the funniest things you've ever said
[00:59:58] No, that's nice to kids as a kid
[01:00:01] You're 11. I know what you're saying. I know you're saying I know I want to see the girl from even steven's tits
[01:00:06] But you're like oh, she's never done against your tits
[01:00:08] But then Heather Graham her kids are all over the place. Yeah the scene where burt Reynolds tells her to fuck
[01:00:15] Uh, what's his name?
[01:00:17] Fuck fuck mark wall bert and she's on the roller skates and then she takes off her one piece
[01:00:22] Whatever she's wearing in that one swoop. Yeah in the skates day. Oh, yes
[01:00:26] It is it was one of the greatest moments my life. She was in lost in loss in space too. Oh, okay
[01:00:32] Yeah, I
[01:00:33] For me was definitely Austin Powers. Yeah for me that movie was really bad
[01:00:37] I think maybe requesting to go see that movie and it was entirely motivated by having a crush on Heather Graham
[01:00:43] And yeah, I remember like being ashamed of celebrity crushes is like a kid being mortified at the idea of my parents finding interesting
[01:00:50] Yeah, yeah, fuck you
[01:00:53] I don't like anybody
[01:00:56] I've never fucking had attachment to anybody ever and I don't need it and I never will
[01:01:00] I don't care you got divorced. I don't care
[01:01:07] Man alone in my fucking world and I can dictate my emotional course through life internally
[01:01:15] Path monolithic
[01:01:17] Nothing I feel nothing. I don't fucking like Heather Graham
[01:01:21] I will never have feelings for anybody and no weaknesses or vulnerabilities
[01:01:31] Oh fuck. Yeah
[01:01:33] Her and I remember I had a crush on Tara Lipinski from the winter Olympics back to that one skate the skater. Oh, yeah
[01:01:39] Oh, dude the yeah, skater
[01:01:41] Ice skaters you could definitely
[01:01:43] You could definitely get a crush on they were like
[01:01:45] Mm-hmm. You know the stars of the winter Olympics. I remember making the mistake of like telling my father like she came up or something
[01:01:52] And I think I mentioned I knew where she lived
[01:01:55] And then he knew what that meant immediately and I was just like horrified. I'm like no
[01:02:00] Shut up. I'm cut
[01:02:02] Fuck you leave me alone
[01:02:06] Yeah
[01:02:08] Damn just okay, just hitting yourself in the face. Mm-hmm. It's funny because a child is just a person with borderline personality
[01:02:15] Yeah, that's all a child is yeah an annoying ass fucking adult
[01:02:19] Asking so many fucking questions. Yeah being embarrassed all the time. Yeah
[01:02:25] Trying to manipulate everyone in your life. Yeah gaslight everyone just failing miserably
[01:02:31] Should I get married to Heather Graham now another we're both famous
[01:02:38] We could cross paths as I'm a thousand a thousand there podcaster
[01:02:42] Yeah, actually I don't wear underwear during the summer
[01:02:46] Really that's so interesting if you ever read now so hot. Have you ever have you ever read now?
[01:02:52] No, let me stop you right there. Let me just shush up right there. How about we go to phillips
[01:03:00] For romantic dinner in ocean city. How about we go to the king's china buffet?
[01:03:05] Mm-hmm damn. She's so hot. I'm looking at her shit right now. Yeah, she's she's five eight
[01:03:11] She's four inches shorter than me. Yeah, not bad. That's weird because I don't remember her being tall when we walk past her
[01:03:17] No, she didn't look that tall. Yeah, she she's still looking Jesus Christ
[01:03:23] The rare boys she's in her she was in a relationship with the Israeli screenwriter
[01:03:27] Yeah, nieve ross until 2018 that means she's single guys. Yeah, I mean she's on the market time to bds that pussy, you know, I'm so yes
[01:03:39] Time to get you some fucking in the media Graham is considered a sex symbol. Mm-hmm. This is interesting
[01:03:46] She's also distressed her dislike of reality television stating in 2007 interview
[01:03:51] I think some of it it seems strange. Why do we all want to watch people be so miserable other people's pain and misery?
[01:03:56] It seems kind of sad so she would never get along with Adams Adams minds his character
[01:04:02] And the character in the movie because he only understands pain and suffering. No, that's not true
[01:04:06] He he worked in in finance
[01:04:09] And which he he considers a punishment even though his entire
[01:04:14] Uve desuance
[01:04:16] is
[01:04:17] the songs the sounds de ruevre is to
[01:04:20] is is to
[01:04:22] His entire penis there is this
[01:04:25] Yeah
[01:04:29] Shot to a noose is
[01:04:31] He's sorry to shut down the penis to smile
[01:04:36] His entire penis to smell geez where'd you win that award at the penis do small huh?
[01:04:42] And then he fucks that up in the restaurant and then waiters like don't you mean palm door you fucking moron
[01:04:48] And they put a hat on him. It says I don't know what the palm door is
[01:04:51] The palm and everyone in the last restaurant is laughing at it for being an uncultured swine
[01:04:57] The people at dicks know all about that type of stuff
[01:04:59] The petals in cheap reality television and heather graham walks in she says you disgust me
[01:05:05] Can I just say
[01:05:07] What come one thing that I've kind of been researching while you're talking about all that stuff. Yeah is heather
[01:05:12] Heather graham nude on google image they put Adam in the hat and then me and me or the
[01:05:17] Biographer and the controller
[01:05:19] Controller to go and send it has send Heather in now
[01:05:26] Cool, she's like wow you don't know what the palm door is and also in the hat
[01:05:30] Just the hat is the entire script of the movie up until that point
[01:05:35] And she's like what's this part here where you revel in people's pain and suffering and you
[01:05:40] After the podcast said it you worked in in in finance
[01:05:45] Doing bad business. Yeah, well you just yeah
[01:05:48] Evicting retarded black children. No, they gave from the center for being black and retarded
[01:05:55] They're like we just we're trying to get Reese's peanut butter cuffs of these children
[01:05:59] And we can't we saved the money for the rent
[01:06:02] Please mr. Adam Adam Friedlander
[01:06:07] I don't read lander. Yeah, Adam Friedlander
[01:06:11] We just need you to please. I don't know why it has to be so close to my name
[01:06:15] It will just we didn't see a character. It's just yeah
[01:06:18] We didn't actually it's kind of an amalgam of people. It's you and Judah Friedlander. Yeah, okay
[01:06:25] All right the world champ is wearing a cap. Well, I mean to be a veteran because they're not people next question
[01:06:31] Black and retarded
[01:06:34] I don't consider them people next question
[01:06:39] That's great. That's a great you know right there
[01:06:41] Yeah, that's how that's a mocha zone. Do I know the the pomdors?
[01:06:47] Fuck no, I'm a tartan next question. I'm also retarded. Yeah, actually, you know it Judah doesn't work. He's too cool
[01:06:53] So it's actually just you yeah, just remember I just followed her on instagram. I hope she follows the button
[01:06:58] Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, it looks like she already follows me. It looks like she blocked you actually
[01:07:04] Suck
[01:07:06] Um, no, I'm gonna go ahead and say
[01:07:09] Damn she's hot. I'm looking at pictures from boogie nights again
[01:07:15] And my dick is not I'm not gonna say it's hard, but it has blood in it
[01:07:21] I just want her to know
[01:07:24] Yeah, I don't think so chief
[01:07:26] Yeah, chief well then why when I was crossing the street next to Nick
[01:07:30] Does she look at my penis area and then do the tongue in the cheek blowjob?
[01:07:34] As I asked her to do that. No, she had a final scene in this movie is the biographer
[01:07:39] He tells the cool guy's like, you know, this all started because
[01:07:42] We never actually passed Heather Graham on the street
[01:07:45] It was just a woman and I had said to him that was Heather Graham. No that was Heather Graham
[01:07:50] I said to you that was Heather Graham and in his mind he turned it into this fantasy and I thought what
[01:07:55] A brilliant subject to biographer. So you lied to me and then the cool guy looks at the biographer and he goes
[01:08:01] Why don't we go to that bookstore only me and you?
[01:08:05] And then see and then King's dominion and then it ends with them
[01:08:09] Oh getting lost up at King's dominion hanging out with lav mics doing a separate podcast
[01:08:17] And the movies called the good podcast
[01:08:22] Yeah, Adam's minds is a movie within the movie
[01:08:25] So he was in a podcast with the cool guy in the director the biographer the cool guy code directors
[01:08:32] What don't you understand Adam? I don't get but the adam's minds used to be in a podcast with them. Yes before he was in finance. Yes
[01:08:40] Yes, this movie's confusing
[01:08:43] Yeah, it'll be well done though. All right, maybe it'll get a palm door. Oh, it'll get a palm door
[01:08:48] It'll get a palm door. It'll get my palm and some oars
[01:08:51] Mm-hmm a palm to horse whole hand in a pussy
[01:08:56] Put all four mitts in there a fist a fist of fist door
[01:09:01] Fistful or calm?
[01:09:03] Fistful just clean these wood get the hell out of here
[01:09:10] I'm here to jack eyes off
[01:09:13] I'll ask the questions
[01:09:16] I'll suck the guys off. Yeah, they call him dirty hairy
[01:09:20] He's got a sort of an unorthodox style of getting to the bottom of things
[01:09:25] He's real nasty and dirty. Yeah, the script for cruising was actually one of the dirty hairy
[01:09:30] I
[01:09:32] A clint um
[01:09:34] Clint got mad
[01:09:37] What the fuck is this what the fuck I'm gonna get you got me doing Clint became very mad
[01:09:43] was that the the
[01:09:45] Twilight Zone guy
[01:09:49] My dick is big minding is imagine a world where everyone's gay except for one man because his penis is too small
[01:09:55] Imagine a world known as the Twilight Zone
[01:10:03] He's straight, but it's because it's
[01:10:07] In 1920s Louisiana
[01:10:11] He only had a six-inch penis
[01:10:18] So stop your get you're gonna come back with the tooth no, I'm going I'm right after we
[01:10:23] Hit whatever for you get this one in the can folks. I'm driving to Baltimore
[01:10:28] And I'm gonna go chill with my brother for a night and then in the morning. I go to take the indentation
[01:10:35] Of the implant they send that to a lab. It'll take them a couple weeks to make it
[01:10:41] And then I fucking go in they put they screw my tooth in after that
[01:10:45] So I'm going in and the next time I go to the dentist
[01:10:48] This is the second to last second to last baby after you got your grime your bone grafts you drumming off a new mexico on the way
[01:10:55] Yeah, it's on the way
[01:10:58] You want to go to tauce
[01:11:00] On our surreal movie version of our life and add his minds the cool guy drops off his biographer in the desert
[01:11:07] And he says what are you gonna do out here?
[01:11:10] and he says
[01:11:12] Hang out with him Dylan or definitely not gay shit. That's for sure and then he just he takes off he
[01:11:17] Don't don't just
[01:11:20] Right. That's right. The burpee good fucking
[01:11:26] Tips his brain the cool guy says all right, bro. Yeah, all right
[01:11:32] Tom the guy the king's to me in me bananas
[01:11:37] Tom the guy and all bunch of bananas kings to me
[01:11:43] Yes
[01:11:45] I gotta go. I gotta go home to board a moor to have but no
[01:11:50] With my brothers. Can I ask you guys a question? No
[01:11:54] Go ahead Adam
[01:11:56] Is there a reason why the characters got the same name as me
[01:12:00] Uh just kind of that that verbal I guess I didn't even really think
[01:12:07] That is
[01:12:08] Weird thing for me. I think the reason is just kind of that light nice little rhetorical uh quirk of yours from
[01:12:17] Groundhog's day. Oh, oh, so add words minds kind of oh the quirk. Yeah. Oh, this okay
[01:12:24] You're just me being quirk. Yes, you be quirk. Yes
[01:12:28] Adams minds presumes the existence of a movie called grounds hogs day
[01:12:32] Uh day grounds hogs days and also grounds hogs nice day
[01:12:37] So all every iteration
[01:12:39] Exists within the confines of adam's mind and in in the other version of groundhog day
[01:12:45] Bill Murray is in a singular character. He represents there's every single restart of the day is a different bill Murray
[01:12:51] Yes, so it's actually impossible for the final bill Murray to learn any kind of lesson because yeah
[01:12:56] That's not the same guy
[01:12:57] He's not the same guy that they only happen once and in that version it is a omniscient version of bill Murray that because of that omniscience
[01:13:04] Which is a gift from god, right? He is a better person. Yeah, and that's it shows us
[01:13:10] Only god can improve
[01:13:12] Only god can improve you
[01:13:13] But you're preordained to have that improvement already because god could already see the other possibilities and he chose the bill Murray
[01:13:19] That already would have had faith if he didn't have the omniscience
[01:13:23] So that one yes, that's the one that gets the gift of omniscience because god knows that even if he didn't have it
[01:13:29] He would have he still would have acted he still would have acted
[01:13:33] Both
[01:13:34] Ethically and morally correct and also would have lived with faith
[01:13:37] If I remember correctly at the end of groundhog day it ends with him walking into the seminary
[01:13:43] And he's like I've had enough pussy. I've learned enough pussy. I'm pretty sure this bitch is a lesbian
[01:13:49] Andy oh god, he's probably in groundhog day for like what a billion years. Yeah, that's wild
[01:13:56] I still really like her too when I was a little kid. No you don't
[01:13:59] Andy McDowall
[01:14:01] You had a crush on Alan Dershwin
[01:14:06] I want you to go on the record and say that you've never had a crush on me and you've never wanted to see my penis and suck on my
[01:14:15] And if you can't if you can't materialize evidence that says that my penis has been sucked on by you
[01:14:22] Or not. I've never had sex
[01:14:24] I've never had sex and I've had sex a million times. I've had sex with beautiful women
[01:14:28] I've had sex more than everybody in the entire world and none of it was ever illegal
[01:14:32] It never happened either. It never happened. You can't prove it. You treat me like a guy this fuck
[01:14:37] You have I need to be treated as if I've had sex with everyone and I've never had sex
[01:14:44] That would be the perfect way to be treated. Yeah
[01:14:48] Yeah, I think it's about time folks about that time on January 19th Heather Graham posted a picture having done
[01:14:54] I'm having dinner with at NYC denim and it looks like she's pretty close with this guy shut up dude
[01:15:01] I'm pissed off honestly. Just looking at this. You're too ugly for her. What do you mean? I'm too ugly for her?
[01:15:08] That's gonna be the show folks. Uh, thank you. Yeah, let ever let Adam know he's ugly too ugly for Heather Graham
[01:15:14] If you want shirts, it's come dot town and check out stowie so's your problems on youtube and it's a podcast as best of luck to stop on the tooth