Cum Town | Premium | 11/22/2020
[00:00:00] just hurry just hurry up and so we can have one of the format
[00:00:09] is going to be going to examine his own pussy yeah
[00:00:12] he's gonna step over it and he's gonna step over a mirror to look at his own
[00:00:15] pussy for the first time he's spreading it open with his fingers he's got to go
[00:00:24] i wonder if they're that we're gonna now that by this president we're gonna have
[00:00:27] some because i really feel bad for trans people getting that
[00:00:36] no you gotta keep a thing you gotta keep like a fucking everyone i thought that
[00:00:39] was in the back in the past no you gotta sleep with it you gotta sleep with it
[00:00:43] you go over here and seal up like a gauged out ear
[00:00:48] but at certain point the the pussy stays doesn't it
[00:00:52] why don't they do it like you do uh... it's a it's a woo your body's like
[00:00:56] like it constantly a state of like something's wrong
[00:01:01] there's gotta be ways to stop that from happening
[00:01:08] it also like it'll start growing hair on the inside sometimes
[00:01:12] what if you put a pocket pussy in the hole
[00:01:15] you'll see like that there's like forums for people describe like what do i do
[00:01:19] about the smell everyone in my office is complaining
[00:01:23] and it's like i would buy guess maybe you should like microwave bananas or
[00:01:37] you should like away from neither does uh...
[00:01:44] well maybe it does make you imagine if a woman is really thinking about a
[00:01:47] cis woman's her pussy just stunk up in office
[00:01:50] i feel like i've i feel like i know a couple
[00:01:54] and i've experienced that that's got a suck to be in an office and there's
[00:02:01] pussy is just making you know like just to make the place for you
[00:02:06] yeah you're like look i'm on the team you're happy for you're closing the door
[00:02:11] office every day being like this has to stop yeah
[00:02:15] why did Claudia have to go to mexico to get this gender reassignment
[00:02:19] if only we had put pussies on the fucking on the on the health care plan
[00:02:24] why didn't we all give to this fucking go fund me which we thought was a
[00:02:27] no i just like in their office like typing away or whatever and like
[00:02:30] somebody's coming by and like caulking the door
[00:02:37] i'd say they say that the door is a meco too much noise
[00:02:50] he's wearing a hazmat suit okay sounds good
[00:02:55] i'll just get back to typing now i gotta believe there's a keyboard just being
[00:03:11] poor poor lady now let me ask you this a really shitty lot in life how far
[00:03:17] no say it's shitty okay don't put it's difficult
[00:03:21] so well now you're looking down on somebody i'm not saying that they get
[00:03:24] the whip but you know everywhere they go mexican guys are caulking over their
[00:03:28] they're gonna get out they have to call them because they just got in you just
[00:03:34] just how far do you think the pussy surgeries
[00:03:37] i just got to think that it is that i think your information is
[00:03:40] outdated i think by it is putting about sixty percent of the budget and to make
[00:03:44] the mister to speak it is to be out of the old and then
[00:03:52] that's how they used to do it as you go and you get a deal you go down a deal
[00:03:59] extra wide one because i got a long weekend i'm not gonna bring my deal with
[00:04:06] you know it's out of tennis ball you're good to go good to Memorial Day weekend
[00:04:14] well but i don't wear days man bow we'd stretch out my my friend eric you got a
[00:04:20] and we stretch it out the size of a volleyball leave on friday we'd be down
[00:04:24] on the shore till monday rehobith rehobith we go down to rehobith
[00:04:29] he'd meet guys he'd have two or three that's welcome at the same time
[00:04:37] yeah eric was a man and he had a bite of us
[00:04:50] yeah and then i lose you got the cadence down yeah
[00:04:53] yeah the the corn pop videos just a good reference point i see that the pattern
[00:04:58] with which he speaks i was practicing is not a joke
[00:05:01] he likes he he like has a long sentence and he is a short sentence so you've been
[00:05:05] studying him i was practicing last night and i i got just the word victory i
[00:05:15] that's good that's good yeah that's good that one was uh...
[00:05:19] that's as close as i got that's pretty good victory
[00:05:24] a victory shots out the fucking jot dude my man
[00:05:27] was getting his largest turnout in a presidential election
[00:05:31] yeah cuz he'd like he sort of ababama's canons
[00:05:36] yeah totally years with them because he did such a but it's it's like it's
[00:05:40] very slight and you can go into obama land it's a good combining obama and
[00:05:48] but not a heart not a full-on he doesn't do the full and just a little bit just a
[00:05:52] pinch and then he's also got kind of like an old person accent of course he's
[00:05:57] it's not a little bit more baritone in their gym care come on a second of
[00:06:03] i thought i thought it was a terrible it's hard to do by them
[00:06:08] will find a good byden guy one of these days you can't say eight white guys on
[00:06:11] s and l one of them can't do for i feel i feel bad for people that's it that's
[00:06:17] that's that's as close as anyone's ever again it's really good man
[00:06:21] damn that the stocks in the in the trump comedy
[00:06:25] i'll be a president history or crash president that unites rather than divides
[00:06:34] but that's a little southern divide is a little something not divide it's
[00:06:41] i don't know i watched the movie that's how he says i watched the first half hour
[00:06:44] of a movie where robert do fall plays a
[00:06:47] a little an insane lawyer you got it you got to start to dig down slow
[00:06:51] yeah it was a weird you gotta get the dick hard and then you suck it down
[00:06:56] slow it was uh john chavolta played a fucking ambulance chasing guy
[00:07:03] it was like him tony shalob and um the guy from boogie nights whose wife cucks
[00:07:08] him so he fucking will image mace yes will image macy
[00:07:12] they were like lawyers together and then some kids got cancer it was a fucking
[00:07:16] weird movie that sounds like a good law firm not all not all the kids have
[00:07:23] so let's they said it used to be everybody got cancer and then we come
[00:07:27] around and now it's only the retarded kids are getting cancer
[00:07:33] i was watching he's in gone in 60 seconds he plays like the old guy
[00:07:37] like car thief or whatever hell yeah really i gotta see that movie oh it's so
[00:07:41] bad i can't wait it's really bad when they put on low rider
[00:07:44] Nicholas Cage is like not yet and he just gets to like the bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo
[00:07:56] dude that's crazy we all watched Nick Nicky see rock
[00:08:00] i watched snake eyes and then port of call i've been on a little Nick uh run
[00:08:06] recently every movie should have him the robert of all in it
[00:08:11] well i watched the rock because i wanted to see some shot you understand it's not
[00:08:15] just the president's man it's all of them it's all all of the president's men
[00:08:20] the president has got men and there's all of them
[00:08:24] it's not just one or two or three it's to talk about every single one of the men
[00:08:28] that the president has it's our willy is not free and we're gonna free him
[00:08:35] we're gonna take the other way and we're gonna free him oh yeah that's right
[00:08:39] yeah he was the trainer it was me there's a well i want to learn i want to hear
[00:08:46] you're right you can't let him go because he lives in a zoo
[00:08:50] well well belongs here in a zoo whenever he gets out won't know what to do with
[00:08:56] himself we're trying to go down there and fuck him all
[00:09:02] the whale will yeah the whale will try and get pussy from everyone
[00:09:05] yeah used to be a well couldn't get fucked
[00:09:10] i mean me and rapper afrocc obama we we're not a conversation where i said i
[00:09:15] fuck it's it's hard to go from Duvall to buy he's close because there's a little overlap
[00:09:22] yeah there's overlap with everybody that's it's called the english language
[00:09:25] oh no there's not overlap what's the overlap between robert Duvall and michael jackson
[00:09:30] um there's a lot yeah they're escamo brothers yeah they both got
[00:09:36] pussy from uh freshly what's your name it doesn't matter if your color is black or white
[00:09:43] it can't be any kind of color you can always be my baby
[00:09:47] that's why i can't be right you don't want to be a color you know you can always be my
[00:09:51] baby it doesn't matter if you're black or what oh i thought always be my baby
[00:09:55] uh yeah that's she also says that it is different what i'm trying to have sex for the first time
[00:10:06] i it's the american people have spoken and they want to let me have sex
[00:10:17] damn dude i would i am sexually attracted to doctor jill though i think she looks good i'm
[00:10:23] trying to get top malefum the first the first italian oh yeah you saw that picture of kamala
[00:10:29] absolutely with her titties absolutely she went to montel
[00:10:33] did montel get pussy from the vice president i don't believe so with his glaucoma
[00:10:38] he doesn't have glaucoma he has some kind of muscular dystrophy i think no i thought he is
[00:10:42] he is uh he's a weed advocate because of his glaucoma i believe he has some kind of
[00:10:47] body issue dude she looks so hard in that montel will they should
[00:10:51] they i should petition the government to fill the cabinet with only people i can sort of do
[00:10:55] impressions of that would be awesome that would be for the sake of the show yeah like who else uh
[00:11:00] secretary of labor Duane the rock jonson yeah we got one about taking the who put his thing
[00:11:07] mind Duane the rock jonson and he's going to be in charge of the jobs secretary of the interior
[00:11:14] jeff goldblum and the interior is inside of his ass since i know yeah
[00:11:23] or a woman's business anymore well there's a department or no no it's one of them
[00:11:29] the interior interior of what your mind your ass and we could go in there and make fun videos
[00:11:36] you can laugh you can dance you can sing i mean i've got corny ideas but
[00:11:40] you don't think of something launched but uh fuck dude and how did the department education we got
[00:11:53] chikira i guess sure yeah what fuck not housing an urban diva
[00:11:59] baby she sounds like me one yeah she's got a back on the roof i like the idea of using whole
[00:12:11] episodes of the show to just work out one impression getting kind of close and then getting drifting
[00:12:16] further and further apart yeah just no jokes just just the workshop just that's what the people
[00:12:22] that's what you guys are not paying for because this is a free one well also too it's like most
[00:12:26] most of the people that listen to the show they're really funny and they're they're going to have
[00:12:30] a future in common especially the best ones that listen yeah the ones we like to hear from the most
[00:12:37] they're all going to be successful comedians it's just they got to just keep getting drunk and
[00:12:41] DMing and people about wanting to get into to comedy um obviously it's it's because of corona
[00:12:50] is why obviously that's why you know otherwise they would be popping otherwise they'd be on
[00:12:56] comedy central right they'd be you know i certainly we we have no idea what we're talking about
[00:13:02] no um you you definitely uh it's it's the it's the audience there right
[00:13:10] so uh workshop kind of show and in fact yeah it would be good because then they can actually
[00:13:16] tell us their opinions no they could just be shaking with rage seeing us miss after this you know
[00:13:21] but we'll get some constructive feedback yeah we could get some notes i love the notes
[00:13:27] oh baby run you fuck my house you make my pissing your fast and we wanted to see a show with chakira
[00:13:34] oh yeah i'm from the grave yeah who do you think i'm doing oh i thought that was regis oh yeah we
[00:13:40] went to see chakira and i tell you i thought she was black and we get there she's maybe Italian
[00:13:49] it's just like the old days back when the Italians were apes
[00:13:56] when i had the pretend i wasn't half Albanian fucking two rest in piss yeah that's what i say
[00:14:04] this is you to that fucking scum that Balkan scum although rip to the prince
[00:14:12] Alex Trebek mm-hmm he was Albanian no i'm weird i'm mad that we did that riff about him after
[00:14:18] chan connery died and then and then he died yeah because that's going on it probably really
[00:14:23] hurt his feelings oh it hasn't gone up yet no oh that's hilarious or maybe it has i have no idea
[00:14:28] we should make an official statement i have no idea what episode yeah there's a computer that's
[00:14:35] deciding at random which episodes we don't even what we did was meet nick and adam all talked for
[00:14:40] ten hours separately and an algorithm puts these together yeah yeah it's pretty nice we don't
[00:14:46] kind of a walk ever yeah so they got an algorithm is that it yeah that's all right by
[00:14:52] it's a algorithm that's how he'd say algorithm algorithm algorithm is good yeah you slurred it yeah
[00:14:58] you know what is algorithm he's almost completely every instant he's so close to just falling into
[00:15:05] being a dementia old guy yeah and he's clawing back the beginnings of the words it's where it's
[00:15:10] like they're probably got to find a perfect button perfect perfect there you go perfect
[00:15:18] victory perfect victory joe we want joe algorithm perfect victory see that's the computer talking
[00:15:29] yeah that was a computer we're doing so it is so funny i'm gonna find him and do by word by word
[00:15:36] you should not get there i believe in you biden hunter hunter i don't think he says the name in
[00:15:43] public he says my beautiful son my beautiful son that was great it's what was crack beautiful
[00:15:49] was great my beautiful son beautiful beautiful beautiful son
[00:15:55] kabala vagina kabala is common it doesn't he kamala vagina vagina is it kamala is that
[00:16:04] kamala oh okay you presidential presidential presidential it's gonna be so funny when she
[00:16:10] loses president's role because she has no swag despite being hot she loses to don jr i'm gonna
[00:16:16] refill my coffee yeah go for it go for it isn't the coffee right there it's right across the table
[00:16:22] yeah we're working with a nice big cup but nice one of those boxes of thunk and don't
[00:16:26] it's nick nick let me off for the day he said don't worry about it sweet don't worry coffee
[00:16:31] bitch we're gonna make we're got some dunk a big box of jail don't worry about it don't worry about
[00:16:37] it you find piece of i'm misworked in an office that just catered things that didn't need to be catered
[00:16:43] had a big fucking thing of dunking or no lubars had a fucking espresso machine had cereal i just
[00:16:50] used to eat so much of um shouts out to fucking shots out to the child porn child porn international
[00:16:58] yeah i remember i was i used to go to that office and some like fucking black lady when i was in
[00:17:02] the kitchen she was like excuse me do you work here yeah yeah because you oh i'm sorry is this
[00:17:08] cereal coming out of your paycheck i know it's like make sure that i'm she went on to have an affair
[00:17:12] with the boss i believe yeah that makes sense yeah that she was talking about her and you could tell
[00:17:18] she was gonna do something no there wasn't there was a there was some you can see it in her eyes
[00:17:25] or maybe the area around it or skin i think it was like no that wasn't it it was in her skin
[00:17:30] i don't it maybe wasn't her they say i i don't have enough melanin to be black well i'll tell you
[00:17:37] black is it's not about the color your skin palates about whether or not you're going to use a certain
[00:17:42] word that's right i promise i will use the word every day that i'm present not in public i'll wake
[00:17:53] up and i'll say it with a soft day to my wife john what's your name dr jill dr phil
[00:18:04] my wife from the dr phil show come over here and suck my penis joe well i look over a big joke in
[00:18:10] our house i look over my wife and i say you are not the father just like her from her tv show
[00:18:16] now why wouldn't you give me head joe that's dr phil that's pretty good thank you
[00:18:25] i have not even doctor dr phil tried to do like a mari thing and he would bring on like black couples
[00:18:30] and he'd be like why are you not paying child support it's like uh we're married we're married to each
[00:18:36] other and he's like it's you got to stop being a deadbeat father and take care of your kids
[00:18:43] stick them on so i see i'm a professor yeah so it's just i don't even know how we got on this
[00:18:49] you know we're not sure we want to know just answer yeah well i have the results right here
[00:18:55] results for what and it's just just like that the drawing of the the braces go to the black i
[00:19:01] would sell the words or like gabababix in the back race i don't know that one that's it's an old
[00:19:10] braces yeah it was a picture they had it's a city going on we go on forch and you see the picture
[00:19:19] there's a guy with a big you know big nose and lips oh i see that genre is it similar to the
[00:19:25] racist jewish one where it's the guy with a really big nose clasping his hand yeah there there
[00:19:31] i think that's uh that one's been around this one oh wow that's very racist that's quite racist
[00:19:37] yeah it looks like that one's from an age where cell phones exist yeah the the the money lender
[00:19:45] one is i think that's yeah but you know centuries sure i think that's that's from maybe the early 20th
[00:19:51] century i don't know it's had a modern flair to it you think so yeah i think this is from mad magazine
[00:19:58] back when back when they were still kooky with the fuck so mad magazine has nothing to do with mad tv
[00:20:09] um i mean it's like the same brand but there's a speaking of brands i love which i love something
[00:20:15] that i love um let me take a look here it's just i'm really excited about
[00:20:21] because she dreams oh oh yeah tell me the fuck about it you know what i what i could not stop
[00:20:26] thinking about today is uh let me see um um smokeable CBD yeah it's really it's really quality
[00:20:36] cb yeah it's really been on my mind all the uh yeah is uh
[00:20:44] i i really can't i'm so excited about it me too by the way i i'm at the same level as you
[00:20:49] yeah i've been feeling that way too oh about uh smoke will flower uh it's uh California
[00:20:57] California and Oregon yeah lab and in lab my party my favorite point is that it's lab a lot of people
[00:21:03] have georgia on their mind a lot of people have georgia on their mind for racist reasons
[00:21:08] uh victory a victory a victory joe how are you smoke some CBD out of my ass Georgia
[00:21:20] Georgia Georgia Georgia sounds a little drunk this guy you need a little piece of that no he's
[00:21:26] doesn't drink dude he's a stutter yeah it's his stutter it's his stutter he like got mad at his
[00:21:33] boys for getting drunk at his bachelor party are you fucking serious yeah he's a herb what he's not
[00:21:39] yeah in like the sixties yeah he didn't even do drugs well i don't think he likes them getting
[00:21:44] too too too too throat that's why hunter custody aims this one that's why hunter custody aims this
[00:21:52] one of the best ways to when i smoke it i feel they say there's no drugs in there but i i get so
[00:21:59] fucked up i can't weed i can't think dude i'm just twisted really i get absolutely twisted
[00:22:08] i smoke a placebo CBD from cushy dreams fuck oh oh dude whoa damn i'm on a different planet right
[00:22:16] now yeah dude we can see it i can't even fucking i can't i can't even probably get a job without
[00:22:22] put your balls back into your onesie i probably can't even get a job without some kind of form
[00:22:26] being filled out by the state oh so so yeah wait the joke is that cushy dreams makes it's so good
[00:22:34] it makes you retarded no it's that a retarded guy is smoking CBD and pretending to be high and
[00:22:42] oh no it's sweet or weird you know i'm just high i fucking weed and everyone's like um this is
[00:22:57] actually high quality cushy dreams it does has no THC no i'm definitely i'm definitely i'm just
[00:23:04] high that's that's how i got okay you can you wash me on that one it's because of the guns
[00:23:16] it's a mess up of guns oh if he smoked you know if he smoked full power weed then it's like then
[00:23:22] he would be you know forget about him come all the way back around to Elon Musk that's right
[00:23:26] that's the smartest man one of the one that's what flowers of alginomus about a fucking retard
[00:23:31] guy that smokes weed actually uh have uh down syndrome and uh i smoke so much weed that uh
[00:23:39] went past uh being retarded all the way to uh being a million a genius is he a genius no he's
[00:23:48] he's incredibly smart i don't know if he's a you know it's stupid but hey i'm smarter than him
[00:23:53] yeah Elon smarter than that guy that guy that that guy that's life is much better than mine i i
[00:23:59] i certainly am not just figuring out a way to construct a alternate reality in which i'm doing
[00:24:04] better than him hey man i honestly his life sounds worse than mine honestly uh in terms of all the
[00:24:11] work you'd have to do yeah we come here we barely do any bullshit it's we barely yeah my job doesn't
[00:24:18] end dude i i like take the files i go through every syllabus true i i listen to the Biden impression
[00:24:24] over and over again i mean a lot of people they really don't they think i don't work at all do
[00:24:29] you sit in your apartment for hours saying the word victory over and over again
[00:24:35] a victory and see and take to get yourself to that was that you were but that was me wow that's
[00:24:41] awesome it felt like but it fell apart after that but that's that was the best one a victory
[00:24:47] that's really good yeah and you know a victory you know it would be a really big it's not close
[00:24:51] when i do it now i don't know what it is or something you're in that you had it in the ether
[00:24:55] a victory pretty good better yeah a victory a victory too much old man into the last one a
[00:25:03] victory it's good a victory am i there yeah you know it would be a remarkable flower that's right
[00:25:12] you know it would be a really big victory would be to go to cushy dreams dot com i'm gonna read
[00:25:17] the promo ingredients to this shit k ushy dreams dot com put in the promo code come town
[00:25:25] and get 20 off your first order or any order maybe first the point is if you want to smoke
[00:25:33] your cbd because you got it smoke your cbd because you can because of every and that's a really big
[00:25:41] victory victory victory where the fuck is the copy here we go all right
[00:25:49] cushy dreams offers a full lineup of premium smokeable cbd that specializes in extraordinary
[00:25:56] destroyed extraordinary cbd rich hemp flower aka bud and pre-roll cbd joints i love that joke
[00:26:06] join a group of adults who were sick of vapes and gummies and want to smoke i'm not a
[00:26:11] cb i'm the fuck i'm not a fucking little bitch i want to smoke my cbd primary talking points
[00:26:18] looks like high quality mirror mirror marriage juana which you want to ban it feels like high
[00:26:24] quality marriage juana and it tastes like high quality marriage juana cbd content is up to 20
[00:26:32] percent no dissable in the highest of the game is the attention the fairy tale is more dissable
[00:26:48] cabinet cabinet secretary of state robin affairs not get you high housing in urban
[00:26:57] in urban development robert williams is black uh preacher character independent lab testing
[00:27:03] uh so it doesn't it's not easy no it's not a better lab testing uh so it's a compliance and
[00:27:09] purity uh it's called an uh california and fucking organ uh each brand is uh had selected by a
[00:27:17] group of but a whole bunch of uh like a scientist uh the cannabis flower experts uh but uh
[00:27:29] yeah i was trying to i was trying to dial in nullity too that's good you have a nice bouncing
[00:27:33] back and forth to be nullity and body because you do nullity gives you a little bit of rasp
[00:27:38] get you in the biden zone just uh all right uh i was a lawyer i defended him after he
[00:27:43] he fucked me in the ass oh he divided him against yourself that's caped the cape fear
[00:27:50] where he was okay yeah he was uh i was a public defender as signed to his case but i was also
[00:27:55] the victim he fucked me in my ass wow wait is that what happens in cape fear yeah yes yeah uh
[00:28:02] counsel you were supposed to represent me counselor and just because i fucked you in the ass
[00:28:08] who who's both the victim and the attorney i want to what was i supposed to do we fucked me in the ass
[00:28:14] that's not how the law works wouldn't he yeah they were no that's not again that's exactly what
[00:28:18] happened the nignalties yeah what's his name robert and you're a rapester girl and nichnolte
[00:28:24] suppress is his public defender and he suppresses evidence that the girl was promiscuous
[00:28:29] because like you know he beat him up or she he beat the girl up so bad so max katie does 15 years
[00:28:36] in jail and then he gets out and he wants revenge on the prosecutor because he spent
[00:28:39] his time when he did raper didn't he uh yeah he did oh so who cares yeah and nichnolte
[00:28:45] i mean he just didn't do his job right nice so then robert's hero goes to jail for 30 years
[00:28:51] how can i find you practicing his southern accent cb we do yeah he practices his southern accent
[00:28:59] for 30 years and reads books and he gets full ups right i got three lines private reserve
[00:29:05] ultra premium premium that's awesome every can size is uh three three and a half grams
[00:29:13] you're gonna uh my nitrogen seed old i was seeing my fucking everyone says fucking shit out of
[00:29:19] this fucking piece of shit it's like mostly with that movie and then he's cheating on his wife too
[00:29:26] oh nice and then so robert's in your uh rapes the woman that he's cheating on his wife and bites
[00:29:32] off a piece of her face what the fuck yeah it's pretty wild yeah i wouldn't say it's badass i'd say
[00:29:38] i just get caught in the cops i'm gonna find out i was having an affair oh so that's why he won
[00:29:48] he doesn't kind of the guy who's the wife and that's jane fonda uh that sounds right
[00:29:54] did jane with how many movies was she in i know are mostly doing exercise all dogs go to heaven
[00:30:02] um all dogs go to heaven and being like anti-vietnam that's her two claims to fame someone told me a
[00:30:08] a very perfect crime recently tell him he was it's a it's like a kind of a dorm room prank right but
[00:30:14] yeah hold on oh yeah promo code what are we gonna focus on doing our goddamn job i thought we did
[00:30:19] the we didn't do it we didn't finish the fucking we didn't finish a fucking job
[00:30:31] just be like a promo code just say the code i'm trying to find it
[00:30:36] promo code come town for 20 percent that's right kushi dreams dot com all right cash relax
[00:30:42] anytime hybrid i do fuck with i honestly do literally fuck with uh kushi dreams
[00:30:47] uh i'll do be smokin s cb d i like the hustle i did i got you i'm actually fucked up on weed
[00:30:59] a victory algorithm what's the perfect crime adam oh it's kind of like a dorm room prank you
[00:31:07] piss in a cookie sheet like and then you freeze it and then you slide it underneath someone's door
[00:31:14] that is pretty good and that melts into a puddle i wouldn't say it's a perfect crime because you
[00:31:18] get caught still well you can't get caught because you didn't open the door you know oh i see yeah
[00:31:26] it's like that a riddle where someone kills themselves with an icicle right but then it melts
[00:31:31] or someone stabs someone with an icicle or remember one who there was me and uh dana were hanging out
[00:31:37] like uh this was 10 years ago probably and uh i was just like just brutally hung over
[00:31:46] and just uh like her her like apartment at the time they had some like sun room i forget
[00:31:51] them this is a nice day just like i couldn't move right and then just eating croissants in the
[00:31:57] sun room and i like i guess she started like looking up like riddles on her phone i don't like
[00:32:01] where that came from yeah yeah but one of them was uh what's what's a crime you can get arrested for
[00:32:07] attempting but not completing or committing suicide right uh well that was the answer but
[00:32:13] someone had responded killing every police officer that's really good this is a much better
[00:32:22] yeah that's the most better answer wait you can't get arrested for attempting suicide yeah you can
[00:32:31] yeah what no you can't adam has riddles memorized just in case stay capitol riddles
[00:32:38] stay capitals let's go the little the little stinker personality kit it's the worst kind of
[00:32:43] person maybe yeah we agree but what how would you get a reservoir committing shooting i'm gonna do
[00:32:47] that i'm gonna put it both together called the little stinker personality kit oh i have so much
[00:32:51] significant capital yeah i have so much to contribute the adam book i watched uh uh bright lights big
[00:32:58] city the other night that guy reminds me you adam which what what michael jfox is here here yeah
[00:33:05] what's bright lights big city about it's about a guy that's kind of like a loser and
[00:33:12] he's just doing cocaine all the time he lives in new york and he's got a bunch of cool friends oh
[00:33:16] that's oh that's how that is how big is this dick but it's like it's really small he's
[00:33:20] dating a model and she leaves him oh that is like and uh and then he's like can't deal with it
[00:33:31] and he like fancies himself a writer but he can't he doesn't write it he never gets any writing
[00:33:36] done sounds uh sounds pretty much like you know gets any writing that he just sits in his apartment
[00:33:41] then goes out and does cocaine that sounds pretty good and then it sounds good and then at the end
[00:33:45] of the movie he gets drunk and embarrasses himself and then just like while still fucked up cruises
[00:33:51] along like the west side and pretends like there's some voice over indicating that like his writer's
[00:33:57] block is gone but the things he's saying are like incredibly trite and bad and uh really just
[00:34:02] terrible right this is michael jfox yeah it's probably the worst writing in the movie is like
[00:34:06] that closing like uh internal monologue is it supposed to be bad well he eats burret no
[00:34:13] it's supposed to be like it's it's yet another life triumph it's a yet another like self-centered
[00:34:20] kind of boomer movie yeah but it there's like a slight self i mean it's tragic you know so it's
[00:34:26] not like big chill where you don't really give a shit about that guy who died yeah i saw the
[00:34:32] pub of Greenwich Village which is a pretty funny movie it's pretty like it seems like it's
[00:34:38] hi everybody it's me the po it's here i come you're a saint you're a saint angel wings for everybody
[00:34:48] we're all gonna wear a wing and fuck each other in the ash that sounds like him and welcome to vatican
[00:34:56] three um it's make you work before his what did he do get plastic surgery yeah a lot dude he was
[00:35:05] like a he was so cute he was a cute guy yeah he was handsome and his voice was like his voice would
[00:35:11] really like kind of high pitched he's a totally different guy yeah his voice no it really fucked me
[00:35:18] up seeing him yeah in diner he's really cute and he's really and he has like a really like soft
[00:35:24] like higher pitched voice but the pub of Greenwich Village is so the guy was an eric robert you guys
[00:35:31] know that most yeah july robert's brother is that really your brother yeah the guy who played the
[00:35:35] mobster in the in the dark night yeah so he's young as fuck and they gave him like a jerry
[00:35:40] curl to look Italian cool and make you work all's plays Italian but the movie makes no sense because
[00:35:46] they act like mobsters but they're just fucking unemployed you know day goes and well i'll tell
[00:35:53] you what they can do is they can put her mac welled underwear oh really i can go ahead and put on a
[00:36:01] peri mac walled none of where yeah unaware yeah unaware unaware unaware i used to wear
[00:36:07] underwear on the outside of your pants and they called it overalls and it was big and blue and
[00:36:13] made out of jeans and then they got rid of that because it was racist interesting and they said
[00:36:19] it was racist muk i i wrote the 1994 crumbol on the inside of a pair of dungarees and shit
[00:36:28] back then we didn't have pens you had to write everything in your pants your own shit you had
[00:36:32] a little turd poke out of your asshole and write just a little bit like a just a little bit like a
[00:36:37] mechanical pencil hey it's a call me scrolling joe crazy pants because i don't ask so like a
[00:36:44] mechanical pencil i'm a little you basically you put a cock in my mouth and then put down a couple
[00:36:53] of notches turn to come out of my ass so the cock would push the turd out that's a good visual
[00:36:59] we all remember the game and play take a mechanical pencil you press it out all the way you put it
[00:37:04] on your arm and hold the eraser pretend like you're doing drugs yeah but the difference was is i
[00:37:09] was doing drugs for real i was in third grade shooting dope oh really i was the first guy i took
[00:37:16] it from the chinese i was always opium that was the first guy in dollar word to
[00:37:21] in scranon and scran dollar word they doing doing chinese opium now let me ask you why was the
[00:37:28] cock why didn't you put like a popsicle oh oh and uh opium opium opium interesting opium
[00:37:37] uh what does he sound like so why is he so elusive so joe when you were shooting in your pants
[00:37:44] where is joe when you were shooting your pants did you have a special underwear i can't you dialing in
[00:37:50] why can't you do this you'll get it buddy why can't you fucking do this stop hitting yourself
[00:37:56] stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself because your god it's because you're gay
[00:38:01] no that's not it yes dude stop stop wait
[00:38:06] mac well none aware is the only underwear that you can wear um all the way all the way to the bank
[00:38:13] all the way to the bank all the way to the bank all the way to the bank all the way to the bank
[00:38:20] where you go where all the way to the back mm-hmm yes sir this is going to be the next four years of
[00:38:27] this podcast all right trying to get closer the radio like i finally know how to do trump now
[00:38:32] that he's almost gone wow dude trump like wasn't an easy one he is he's very easy people thought
[00:38:41] he's hard to get perfect at the 11th at the 11th hour there was one guy that did a really good one
[00:38:48] that's plenty of guy there's plenty of guys that do perfect that will be so easy impression but i
[00:38:54] for whatever reason i could never do it yeah i guess there are a couple there's a i couldn't do it
[00:39:00] tony he's difficult he's very tricky for me it wasn't easy but that's like more like younger trump i
[00:39:09] feel like there's like an old guy element to his voice let's just talk look the thing is when you
[00:39:14] put the underwear in your pussy into your asshole it feels awesome you got to put the underwear on
[00:39:19] your fucking pussy yeah you just go ahead and put the underwear in your fucking pussy
[00:39:29] ah hell just go ahead and put it just ball it up put it in your pussy you'll feel fresher than a
[00:39:35] daisy we guarantee that's the mac welding guarantee either good for wearing they're also good for
[00:39:40] keeping your pussy dry or if you're trans and you don't have a dildo handy you could ball up a pair
[00:39:47] of mac welders put them in your new pussy keep it nice and open all right i'm microbial they're
[00:39:53] anti-microbial so they're not going to smell that they're no one's going to caulk your office
[00:39:58] if you have mac welding stuffed up your new pussy they're anti-micro their silver line of underwear
[00:40:03] is anti-microbial and that's free silver too you can and if times are tough you can
[00:40:11] fucking melt the underwear down and get the silver and sell that yeah the silver is the new standard
[00:40:17] i got hiv i knew i had to get special underwear and make sure that's make sure that i didn't
[00:40:23] transmit the virus any of the women i was having unprotected sex left oh charlie i didn't know
[00:40:29] mac welding was good it can stop age spreading uh tiger tiger blood it's gonna especially uh
[00:40:36] it's gonna occur we're not positive about that but it's a good chance that mac welding stops age
[00:40:43] not sure that's not one of the selling points but probably well how about me indian guy
[00:40:50] i'm one of the boss burger burger is indian guy all the way from downtown india
[00:41:12] coming at you all the way lara what do you think of mac welders i cannot wait to wear it with
[00:41:18] my part of sandals the part of sandals so just underwear in a person oh my god i can't wait to
[00:41:26] order to the doctors office wow do i can't wait to uh
[00:41:34] what doctors are and i be in the apple commercial
[00:41:40] oh my name is prasit and i learned english
[00:41:54] i learned all my englue so prasit the indian guy the doctor
[00:42:02] preshoot preshoot preshoot i can't wait to shop english at my hands that's awesome i believe in
[00:42:12] smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping that's awesome your experience
[00:42:18] how easy it was my credit product is mac welding is the most comfortable underwear so
[00:42:24] i'm trying to lose some sweat vibes i don't want to level up oh wow um they want you to be comfortable
[00:42:32] so if you don't like your first pair you can keep it they'll still refund you no questions
[00:42:35] ask hell yeah not only does it look good it performs well too it's good for working out going
[00:42:40] to work going on dates just everyday life getting pussy personal experience must include the host
[00:42:46] personal experience with the product for example what did you buy how easy was it to use a website
[00:42:52] which project is your favorite and why what kind of activities did you do while wearing a new mac
[00:42:57] welden clothes let me stop you there nik has asked fucked while wearing the pool he was wearing
[00:43:02] them though that's not fucking true it's a fucking lie yes it is nik nikolas penteliano yeah but
[00:43:11] joey underpants here joey underpants leana joey underpants and leana that's good you know growing up
[00:43:17] in new work everybody was gay uh-huh you have to wear a scarf down a corner to have gay sex with guys
[00:43:27] really i watched some interview with him you sent me that that was so weird really they talking
[00:43:32] about the matrix and he's like you know i didn't understand the movie at all just like no idea
[00:43:38] what's going on oh you sent me another one first of all he's dressed he dresses hysterical now yeah
[00:43:42] all actors do he's like a backwards kangaroo no he's gone to the next level he's wearing like
[00:43:47] weird bowlers and like like purple steampunk sword off yeah i'll tell you what i went to mac
[00:43:54] well and because they and i got the um i just wear their like their daily jerseys they got nice
[00:43:59] underwear though yeah yeah i was looking yeah nik's wearing them right now his cock looks huge
[00:44:04] hey wait a second he's taking him off his dick is i can't even see it so there's something about
[00:44:09] how it's well it's barely a dick yeah but hold on he's putting him back on massive wow juicy my
[00:44:15] ass is drooling thinking about that thing so that's the kind of stuff that's the kind of stuff
[00:44:19] that's so nice it stoves gay now yeah and if that isn't a personal experience testimonial i don't know
[00:44:27] what it is if if you've never heard of something if you was a brand new yeah you have to yes
[00:44:35] yes did you watch that conny chong interview i said you watch your mouth all right i'm speaking
[00:45:00] for 20% off your first order visit macwell.com and enter promo code come town 20 i love it i love
[00:45:06] that come town 20 uh yeah if you don't like the underwear you can complain and they'll refund
[00:45:12] you you can keep the underwear no i might go fucking buy some underwear i always do i like i honestly
[00:45:18] i've been trying to get more but they've like they're like they're like i guess had some kind of
[00:45:22] stock shortage thing i i i was looking for new sweatpants and i went on a list of best sweatpants
[00:45:30] and macwelltons consistently on all of those lists wow i have to say you hear that folks yeah
[00:45:36] don't listen to me listen to jenna you weren't looking for a dress to wear no i wasn't looking
[00:45:41] for a dress it was looking for a gift it was for a gift wow it was for a gift so that's so you're
[00:45:47] getting sweatpants for some but you're looking for dresses for yourself it was really for a dress to
[00:45:52] wear to the bathroom yep i'm getting all dold off to go to the bathroom have gay sex had her putting
[00:46:02] on lipstick doing his nails you should have seen it you should have seen it was one of the funniest
[00:46:06] things i've ever seen it you gotta see it up you know how he is he goes in there they kiss his guys
[00:46:13] he kissed his guy you should see the way he kisses who is his cause be drunk i don't know i'm so far
[00:46:20] gone victory so yeah go co co promo code come town 20 that's honestly you're right that sounds
[00:46:31] like straight up Joe Biden yeah but yeah the popa grange village first of all
[00:46:38] Eric Roberts his plays it so over the top it's hilarious but also micky roger just a deadbeat
[00:46:45] unemployed Italian man i'll be right back that's fine i'm talking about the popa grange village
[00:46:50] well we'll continue have you seen the popa grange village no i haven't so he's just a fucking he has
[00:46:56] no he's got a kid already that he doesn't pay for he's in debt he says he claims that he has
[00:47:03] two shy locks to feed which i don't know exactly what that means it's i guess it's a money lender i
[00:47:08] think exactly he owes money so he's got two shys to feed and uh but yeah Eric Roberts is like his
[00:47:15] fucking cousin who always he gets him fired and always fucks his life up oh he's a bad cousin yeah
[00:47:22] yeah pauly and uh and um who made it i don't know it's a fun movie but it's kind of watch it's kind
[00:47:30] of fucking stupid but it was a fun watch but anyway he's he gets darryl hannah pregnant oh
[00:47:35] and a hot piece of ace if i do say so myself and she's like he gets fired and she's like why don't we
[00:47:42] just i could pick up some extra shifts you could get a job as a waiter he's like i'm not gonna be no
[00:47:47] fucking waiter uh he's like how i would what the fuck do i look like being a fucking waiter yeah
[00:47:52] and she leaves him and he hits her and then she leaves him and uh um and he basically chooses this
[00:48:00] woman who loves him and is willing to do anything he chooses to instead just hang around Greenwich
[00:48:07] Village with his stupid fucking uh cousin who almost gets them killed by and have to fight the mafia
[00:48:13] he has to like fight a mob boss instead of just having an honest life with a hot ass woman and
[00:48:19] it basically reads like anti-Italian propaganda like it really he's supposed to be sympathetic
[00:48:24] but he's just a real big piece of shit but i guess that is the Italian way if you had your choice
[00:48:29] between a beautiful blonde you know uh wasp yeah or to kiss your male cousin on the litters
[00:48:39] grades i just went to the bathroom and while i was in there um your mac well does no i i uh
[00:48:44] thought about my book it died it just popped into my head i started thinking about it
[00:48:52] really the sports band went that's awesome i was actually just thinking about that too and how i
[00:48:59] would love a good place to continue to bet yeah we had a lot of money said i got the lost 27 000
[00:49:05] dollars betting on the election and my bookie died aging he like sent that customer service and
[00:49:09] email demanding a refund because of the election because it was cheating that's awesome uh i hope
[00:49:15] he does not get it because that's just a bad beat and you got to take that brother yeah that's funny
[00:49:21] that's actually the first guy i ever heard of in my life losing money on my bookie died yeah it's
[00:49:26] probably pretty much the only person it's basically the only person yeah because this is a website that
[00:49:31] you bet your money and you will always win um-hmm guaranteed you will never lose you'll always make
[00:49:38] money you'll always make money in the long run if you're smart you'll always make money unless you uh
[00:49:44] uh unless you you bet um on don's Trump winning that's true which everybody keeps messaging me
[00:49:52] i can't find the hat the atoms did you take the hat back no it's at your hat wait what was literally
[00:49:57] not what was the what was the bet he has to eat his hat i'm gonna eat that i said by him was gonna
[00:50:02] i said by a little win and he said if he does that's what you said you really had all he my hat and
[00:50:07] then he said he described the hat that he stole i remember i remember exact fruit i remember that
[00:50:11] hat which adam why don't you tell the story about how you got that hat um i how did i get it
[00:50:18] oh i was uh i was a truck pa for a indie film and someone left it in the truck
[00:50:24] when i moved to new york yeah that's what it was what do you think it was you didn't take it from
[00:50:30] your friend from uh Norway no i don't know anyone yeah you did dude that's you absolutely did you
[00:50:37] told me you did you fucking stole that hat from somebody else well that that's
[00:50:42] that should be fair nick that two wrongs don't make a right you don't get the steal from adam
[00:50:46] because he stole from some Norwegian poor fucking mama luke the trusted adam you stole from your
[00:50:52] friend but to be fair nick that makes you know better than adam yeah you stole from your friend
[00:50:58] from your best friend and husband well i'm gonna eat the hat um just i got you got you got you got
[00:51:05] a hat i when i would if i it was still in my closet i don't eat the hat i want the hat i'm
[00:51:11] that's why i'm gonna eat it we could share the hat that's why i'm eating it you got to find a deal
[00:51:15] of the benefits benefits everybody yeah that does is it he everybody benefits me for sure everybody
[00:51:21] gets a piece of the hat we're gonna cut it up and we're all gonna eat it i wonder what kind of odds
[00:51:26] my bookie is putting on donald trump winning 2024 that would be a smart money that's a fun hundred
[00:51:32] bucks to throw down forget about mm-hmm little little uh grover cleveland action yeah but the thing
[00:51:39] people don't remember about that election is that the grover cleveland went up against teddy rosewell
[00:51:44] chastria arthur and chastria arthur was gay i thought teddy rosewell split the vote or something
[00:51:50] or no wait that's the other the fat motherfucker i don't know cares now that alex trabek is dead
[00:51:58] give us jeopardy wait was shester gay for real one of them i thought i thought some guy named pierce was gay
[00:52:04] buster franklin buster buster buster jester one of them had like one of his boys in the white house
[00:52:11] and everyone says the fuck them in the ass that's awesome mm-hmm there is one gay president for sure
[00:52:16] yeah brock uh wall women no he was a gay president he was a pedophile who went to like a fucking cabin
[00:52:23] and everyone fucking was like ooh big fucking deal mm-hmm first of all every all of life was living in a
[00:52:30] fucking cat well i did know is that trump's the only president to ever be impeached lose the popular
[00:52:35] vote and only serve one term ever nice which that makes sense that dude he hit the trifecta baby i
[00:52:43] mean that makes you like imagine fucking up every aspect of becoming president and still be beating
[00:52:49] quillery clann i still did it i did it she's a cunt i don't want to say it i didn't say i didn't
[00:52:58] even say that she was a cunt but she is it's fun seeing he he he'll have an hillary eight more shit
[00:53:05] my book that's why i was wrong my bookie dot ag my bookie dot ag what could i say my bookie
[00:53:14] my bookie dot ag the copy directly in front me so much honestly that it doesn't even
[00:53:21] it's hard to start let me count the ways yes christopher christopher mr secretary of uh state
[00:53:30] you know your part eggplant i love this guy what is he fucking chad what are you chinese
[00:53:37] you know it's funny that you said that to me sitting there knowing full well that you're chinese
[00:53:49] that's his comeback yeah oh yeah i'm part black well whatever your race is is actually
[00:53:58] jewish and chinese so maybe you can tell me where your son Clarence is
[00:54:04] so he thinks that Dennis hopper is jewish and chinese oh i'm black well you're fucking
[00:54:10] you're a piece of shit is what you are pal
[00:54:16] jewish and chinese there's a lot there's a lot of that combo running around oh yeah those guys
[00:54:20] are coming up heavy right now guys i'm not worried about the guys i mean the those people
[00:54:25] fuck indeed Adam Adam hears anything and he's like well guys that is lazy now that is lazy
[00:54:34] now that is lazy but you know what it's really good that is very funny that's the whole point of
[00:54:40] the show is very funny sometimes those are the most fun you have attained the lazy and that one really
[00:54:45] got blocked it was very funny let's hear let's hear about how i'm lazy i'm lazy you know let's
[00:54:52] hear more about how i'm not doing my job and you immediately defeated you're right dude i'm not
[00:54:57] pulling my weight i'm pulling your right dude i'm definitely dragging the show down i'm not dragging
[00:55:02] overall i definitely fucking contribute absolutely nothing you that i say guys and then all i ask
[00:55:09] of you gold is once every four years i take a hat and then eat it to produce further content for
[00:55:18] this show even my act of even my parasitic nature is ultimately something beneficial that is true
[00:55:26] from where i'm standing is a guy who doesn't own the hat in any way shape or form nick eating
[00:55:30] the hat is a big boon to me that's the national in some ways he takes it from Adam to give to me
[00:55:35] then ringo always kept the time okay he never beat out of time it's time to have gay sex
[00:55:41] it's time to pull your dick out it's time to pull your dick out that was a little bit wrong now
[00:55:50] a lot of people are lying and fucking wrongly accused it's just like the Beatles said she loves me
[00:55:55] yeah yeah yeah she loves me yeah yeah yeah the line where the world it's a new season
[00:56:06] and tonya brown is on the writers yeah he's on the bucks he's on the bucks they lost big what are they
[00:56:13] named after dollar bills oh that's my favorite team actually it's short for buckadears what
[00:56:20] is a routine called the dollars i don't know if i can like football anymore
[00:56:28] in b shop that is the bugging news i thought it meant the dollars yeah i don't
[00:56:36] you're doing an anointing guy it's a chinese guy no it's the chinese one of your guys
[00:56:42] it's half the chinese guys those guys are coming up it's fucking it's uh it's a cover
[00:56:47] tennis hopper in trurumas but to my point is because i'm straight i'm saying i like that combo of half
[00:56:57] jewish half chinese girl yeah it's hot i haven't seen clarants in years last time i saw him we were
[00:57:06] getting low main last time clarants was here we got low main and then we ate a couple of pennies
[00:57:12] and i sent him on his way after taking the pennies back after taking them out of his shit
[00:57:19] clarant shows up here three weeks ago says i need 32 cents
[00:57:26] i got my chopsticks out and pulled them out of my coin purse handed over to him
[00:57:30] that was the last i saw clarant that mu know your part eggplant i love this guy way
[00:57:46] penis uh-huh use promo code come town to suck my penis visit my book y'all and dot com today that
[00:57:53] that's my bookie online today that's m-y-b-o-k-i-e and don't forget to use the promo code come town
[00:58:00] when creating your account to glee is it my bookie down online now no it's my bookie online
[00:58:06] oh the copo online to my bookie yeah you can find them they they definitely owned that
[00:58:12] donald trump support really yeah he got fucking big time on it would be kind of funny watching the
[00:58:18] alt-right turn into like uh resistance lubes well yeah basically yeah that that the screaming
[00:58:26] woman at the inauguration somebody somebody photoshopped uh uh like a maga hat on that woman
[00:58:34] and that emos ching chong guy like retweeted it and he was like it's so sad that the right
[00:58:40] has to like photoshop pictures of the left to express their point and it's like yeah that's
[00:58:44] because it's like it hasn't happened we're gonna we'll have that lady of course dude that lady is
[00:58:51] gonna happen she's coming yeah although that initial lady was so good even when like you're
[00:58:56] pissed that he won here's the thing too this is all it's all just bullshit anyways
[00:59:01] it's not like really about fucking politics for most people so just jump ship
[00:59:06] just pretend like of course i voted for Biden if you're a trump guy just pretend you voted for
[00:59:10] Biden and you wanted him to win that's what winners do you know who would do that Donald Trump for
[00:59:15] sure hundred percent you want to be more like trump the most trump thing trump could do right
[00:59:21] now is be like i voted for Biden yeah i said he was gonna win the whole time i told you so i was
[00:59:27] the one saying it of course i have to get these people around me they say oh we got it we got to
[00:59:31] keep our jobs i don't i'm rich i'm rich away from trump news network dude yeah tnn it's gonna be
[00:59:40] sick i won i'm ready for him to be a judge on dancing with the stars
[00:59:45] just call the women pigs you look like an absolute pig
[00:59:57] yeah what's yeah i mean it i i went from feeling like oh joe biden if he doesn't get like 90
[01:00:07] percent it's a it's a fail to now thinking that it's a it's the most logical conclusion in terms of
[01:00:16] narrative to have like a mentally infubled man beat Donald Trump after these last four years to
[01:00:24] literally have america say we're gonna choose a more retarded guy it's it's very funny it's very
[01:00:30] funny i know plus combo let's not forget she's out there she's out there with her family i'm not
[01:00:38] the first person to give pussy in this office and i'm not going to be the last
[01:00:46] they got a dug though i may be the first person to make a pussy fart into the microphone
[01:00:52] but i will not be the last yep i hope you put this pussy for us and this is for everyone who
[01:01:04] thought they were gonna be here and didn't make it and she puts the microphone down towards your
[01:01:09] pussy and then just see uh see of women in blue i'm still with her shirts like yeah
[01:01:23] because you know that's my pussy farting
[01:01:31] yes were people in Astoria celebrating uh Donald Trump's defeat yeah big time there were people
[01:01:42] around on the streets i mean not as much as brooklyn but yeah yeah it was popping off dude even
[01:01:47] even even the white ladies here were they were stoked oh yeah they were really yeah i bet you a
[01:01:53] lot of guys got pussy they didn't deserve on election people were taking shots on the street
[01:01:59] yeah and around the corner for me they were very happy about it i bet you the pussy was flowing
[01:02:04] like fucking wine dude mm-hmm but i was feeling a little under the weather i didn't get pussy out
[01:02:10] of respect for our president Donald Trump mm-hmm i'm not gonna fucking tell you know i'm just
[01:02:15] January 20th the movie i was in came out finally it did yeah d-o-d the the beginning and end of my
[01:02:22] acting career no dude you guess i want you you're gonna you're a good actor i don't know about that
[01:02:29] but it definitely is fun i can see why people like acting oh i guess i can talk about it now
[01:02:33] the movie's out yeah because it's like they're not gonna i mean movie theaters are canceled yeah
[01:02:38] that sucks it really sucks the way the movie you were in is rolled out is very little well i mean i'm
[01:02:44] barely and i'd like one or two yeah but you would have been you would have gone to like the premiere
[01:02:48] and shit i did it was in in Toronto i went up to the festival you went to the festival yeah but it's
[01:02:53] crazy because like you know oh it's nice that i can finally like talk about this thing because it
[01:02:57] was really it was yeah it was so much fun because like working in production when you're like on
[01:03:02] the truck or whatever and everyone's like yeah can you lick my asshole you're like i don't know
[01:03:09] my tongue's still like dry from having to get all the dust off the lenses with it whatever
[01:03:15] bullshit i had to do which i'm exaggerating it wasn't that bad yeah we just had the truck can
[01:03:19] you not can you not double park the truck in a fire lane i'm like pop but just because i'm some
[01:03:25] fucking um the lowest guy on the ladder huh yeah yeah they're like no i'm a decayed i don't work here
[01:03:30] i'm a decennial person trying to get into i'm a disabled firefighter i need the hydrant but really
[01:03:35] though yeah when you're like acting in a thing everybody just kisses your ass yeah when you're
[01:03:40] talented well yeah because they have well they have they have to call you that it has to be built
[01:03:44] into your job title that you're good at your talent because like the people that are very good
[01:03:49] at it are such like you know temperamental fucking like psychos that you know i know it is really
[01:03:57] funny yeah they have to like they just like to make sure that you don't have a meltdown and ruin
[01:04:02] the whole day for a run it's like a fucking baby it's like yeah it's like building yeah no it's like
[01:04:08] being a baby yeah it's like you get to go be a baby for a day totally and it's not hard like it's
[01:04:15] it's it's hard like words like it is hard to like get good at acting whatever but like in terms of
[01:04:20] physically taxing like you're just acting some shit out i mean i guess you're the star or something
[01:04:26] that's hard but yeah but you just pop in for like a fucking scene yeah that's awesome dude yeah i
[01:04:33] think it's a pretty cool gig yeah i really want to now after doing that i was like man if i could
[01:04:37] just be the guy at the beginning of every svu that's like i tell you i'll take the trash out next week
[01:04:43] yeah what the hell is this a dead baby the hey mike you get over here i think this woman's been
[01:04:49] raped to death in the elevator the first step yeah there's a woman's pussy all ground up in the
[01:04:56] elevator gears hey what the hell is this i wanted a hot dog not a guy's hot they got chopped off yeah
[01:05:02] yeah let me get a number two with the uh so siege what the fuck is this it's a woman's breast flattened
[01:05:10] out with calm all over it from a suspect boom boom boom boom boom
[01:05:20] monday's fucking small that's the thing leat they went to get a sandwich and what they got instead
[01:05:25] with a little girl's pussy if i was going around all the sandwich tops and satin island
[01:05:32] changing all the sandwiches a little girl's pussy changing them all somebody somebody done
[01:05:39] fuck me in my ass my fallible american yep there we got a hadiene fuck me in my ass
[01:05:49] the moosahadene the moosahadene fuck me in my ass
[01:05:55] the moosahadene fuck me in my ass the moosahadene fuck me in my ass
[01:06:02] that's honestly my favorite fucking thing ever yeah my bookie.ag promo code come town that's right
[01:06:12] for something where they match up to like a thousand bucks or something that's pretty cool yeah it
[01:06:16] changes but it's pretty cool man it's a good deal it changes every time it's not the same thing oh
[01:06:22] also i should say the show in a Connecticut got canceled the show in Connecticut's cancel we'll
[01:06:29] just bang out all the plugs come dot town for shirts if you want this podcast our host is now
[01:06:35] doing a little switcheroo uh sometimes the episode is gone or the podcast is inaccessible for a week
[01:06:42] from day to week i thought it was like two days it was like four days but um yeah because they're
[01:06:47] good guy like we do it with shout engine and i like them but them is like four people i think
[01:06:54] right um so when like big shit like that happens and they're inundated with like messages there's
[01:07:00] you know you just have to wait until it gets fixed um but otherwise yeah uh yeah also but oh yeah
[01:07:09] no yeah so if you want if this show ever goes down again the patreon has a whole backlog yeah because
[01:07:17] it was really wild people were like i'm trying to listen to old episodes i'm like what this is
[01:07:22] probably the nicest weather i've seen in my entire life yeah if you were on the east coast and you
[01:07:29] messaged just about it being down go outside that i mean it's time to bro you got to change your
[01:07:34] shit around your whole life is fucked up dude i we uh we went with me and adam went with will
[01:07:40] and matt and i guess i got a worse than the rest of them but i was like i felt the same way i was
[01:07:44] dreading what kind of like pain i'd be in and uh just fucking i was sore from catch that's awesome
[01:07:52] that's hilarious i was so i i think i got like elbow tendonitis from throwing throwing a baseball
[01:07:57] like fucking 15 times home run derby yeah i was literally i was sweet yes we in the bat any time
[01:08:03] i would check swing having to like stop the motion oh it just like in in my fucking elbow my shoulder
[01:08:09] my hip shoulder yeah there's a killer and it's weird because it's like you know you have this
[01:08:14] memory of like the the muscle memory from when you're like a child of like doing these things
[01:08:20] and also too just i was like demoralizing this to make contact with the ball and hit it as far as
[01:08:24] that you did when you were eight years old yeah shallow left field yeah right just a little blooper
[01:08:31] yeah and it just feels like a home run i love the sound of the crack yeah i'm horrible swinging a
[01:08:37] bad dude i never did i was scared of baseball and it was an american sports so i never really
[01:08:41] played it my parents put it me in baseball it's the peanuts and cracker jack they put me in because
[01:08:45] they thought it was the more american sportness the less athletic sport i wish i went in a soccer
[01:08:51] well that's what makes it more american is just for everybody yes a game for every guy is for a
[01:08:55] fat guy you could be fat pretty you could be a fat guy employee baseball forever david wells of course
[01:09:01] everybody everybody legend has that everybody pretty good that's it pretty good everybody everybody
[01:09:09] everybody in the club getting tipsy yes we'll get it oh also i want to say that's so cute by the
[01:09:17] time this come we'll get it yeah we'll get it together i'm part of it i'm part of this by the
[01:09:22] time this comes out don't erase 2021 calendar should be out uh definitely get the stavie baby 2021s
[01:09:30] i i went to the studio i hired an artist to fucking whip some shit up we got we got some nice stuff
[01:09:38] going you're gonna love it so uh yeah if you have all the holidays on all the calendar squares we
[01:09:44] got some hot we got the major holidays you have israel independence absolutely not certainly not
[01:09:51] um and do you see trump unfollowed israel that's awesome yeah so sick i love him i love him too
[01:09:58] uh you check that shit out and um hopefully i'll be in uh banana's comedy club in december
[01:10:06] or since in lana city uh not kobananas just bananas and and that's bananas and hasberg heights
[01:10:11] december yeah we want to name a go bananas but that was already taken so we just went with banana
[01:10:17] and also in lana city kind of love hopefully there is no dream was always to have a club called
[01:10:22] banana go bananas uh hmm there had to be a banana theme it had to be banana
[01:10:27] because what we're trying to do is trick the blanks in the company all right all right there it is
[01:10:32] okay so anyway uh all right that's it that's it's a banana's trick no trick black people
[01:10:39] it's not doing yo stop it stop it cut his mic that is not that's that's what that's
[01:10:44] everything was segregated and i was one of the first people that said let's call everything bananas
[01:10:50] and help the economy to reintegrate yeah um and i apologize the shows in canada got canceled
[01:10:56] they were there were some weird restrictions and it just made sense not to do shows in uh uh
[01:11:02] casino in canada get so hopefully i can go back when corona's now that joe biden is solving coronavirus
[01:11:08] hopefully i guarantee you once it's safe i will be doing a tour everywhere i can't wait also we're
[01:11:13] pushing up the on the deadline to order shirts to come dot town if you want them before the holidays
[01:11:19] just to be safe you should give yourself like two to three weeks for them to ship the order because
[01:11:25] if you catch them in between like uh prince then right it's gonna be right you might get your
[01:11:31] ass cheeks might get your cheeks clapped oh also i'm gonna be auctioning my chicks clapped i'm
[01:11:37] gonna be auctioning off some uh some paintings before the holidays as well i'll get them framed
[01:11:42] to make them look nice nice dude and it's all gone in charity the chit yeah the chit guy named
[01:11:49] charity yeah it's hurt it no it's a strip a guy no it's a hot stripper it's her brother come on man
[01:11:57] it's a brother's name girl girl named charity's bros the saint judes it's going to saint jude
[01:12:03] saint jude is hospice one percent of it will be very funny that there's only one jewish
[01:12:08] saint and it's the one that's always asking for extra change for kids for sick kids oh sure yeah
[01:12:14] the hospital is for sick kids they put on clown noses and make the sick kids feel like they're
[01:12:21] not gonna say jude is the patron saint of asking for maybe rounding up the dollar maybe to two
[01:12:27] dollars for the kid dollar in 78 cents why not just give me 12 more cents for the kids and for the
[01:12:34] for their incredibly well compensated executive staff it's for the kids yeah they used to have
[01:12:40] before movies would start if you showed up like 30 i don't know why i've done that in my life
[01:12:46] show back early you get to them like sometimes i don't know maybe it was my dad's fault i don't
[01:12:51] know but i would do that we would get there pretty early my mom would do it too my mom used to do
[01:12:55] that with like um the airport yo yo yo yo where it's like we'd have to fly somewhere and she'd be
[01:13:02] like seven hours early 15 hours before the flight you know and then you're just sitting there
[01:13:06] fucking pissed i hated that shit yeah and then she wouldn't let you buy anything because it was
[01:13:12] marked up presses of course not yeah i mean nobody should buy anything in the airport you
[01:13:16] should shoplift from laguardia yep i stole gordia the gordia is asking for it so easy
[01:13:22] laguardia is walking through an alley with a mini skirt on okay i'm telling you laguardia should
[01:13:27] not have been wearing that i think i'm lost i think these convars are lost in this alley putting a
[01:13:37] cash register all the way over by the magazines it's 50 feet away that's right i usually just eat
[01:13:45] one while i'm waiting that's smart yeah i just i breeze past the register i was like i i didn't
[01:13:52] want to buy this but i touched my penis by accident so i feel weird putting back on the
[01:13:57] show i'm just gonna throw it out there i'm gonna throw it out there i'm just throwing this out because
[01:14:02] they touched my penis as i was walking past it would be wrong for anyone i know i was worried
[01:14:08] a kid might get my penis germs in his mouth if yeah i'll keep it down all right see you later
[01:14:16] yeah i'm going to orlando always for the first time in orlando what's up man
[01:14:22] yeah no i just saw your your fucking marlin side i thought maybe you were also going to orlando
[01:14:33] yeah no it's first time flying so i'm pretty excited i'm pretty excited dude
[01:14:38] before this i've i've only ever been in a truck
[01:14:43] yeah the only other type of thing i've been in is a truck i guess in an elevator one time
[01:14:47] uh uh yeah no i just i was yeah i was looking at your hat and i walked past my penis grazed
[01:14:55] uh my penis grazed all the parfait cups yeah it's you know sometimes it's um because i i like
[01:15:04] using this the hole when i pee but a lot of times i forget to put my penis back in especially if
[01:15:11] it's one of those bathrooms where they say employees must wash hands it's confusing yeah
[01:15:16] because you know i mean which is it's weird that you know you're only supposed to wash your hands
[01:15:20] if you have a job but i'm uh i'm actually working it i've been working it um what's a funny place
[01:15:27] for that kind of working boston market yeah i got a job there i start um when i get back from i got
[01:15:34] i i'm going on trip to orlando to celebrate i start next week but i got a credit card and i max it out
[01:15:43] i always wanted to see disney yeah because i just i really wanted my childhood dream was always
[01:15:50] to ride an airplane and i didn't know where else no disney lance fucking gave but i figured if
[01:15:55] there was a package and stuff so it was like fifteen thousand dollars to stay at disney where
[01:16:01] was in the castle to stay in the castle and you get to fuck uh cinder rella from what from what i've
[01:16:07] heard on red eat so website ready all right time for lunch folks which button do i press the red