Cum Town | Premium | 01/10/2021
[00:00:00] My penis is so small, it's getting penisier so take off on my penis
[00:00:07] So put your ass on dick, welcome folks, you know what it is
[00:00:38] Nick's been listening to K-pop, I don't know
[00:00:40] I have not actually been listening to K-pop
[00:00:44] Studying the story with a larger project
[00:01:07] We'll never get it, we'll never get it fucking
[00:01:17] Yeah, I mean there was a lot of fun stuff going on
[00:01:26] I'm trying to remember that I was in eighth grade
[00:01:34] Well, I guess you're born in December, I'm born in February
[00:01:36] So even though we're basically the same age
[00:01:55] I had a Jewish kids who were going to make Magna
[00:02:03] I went to Magna school in Baltimore City
[00:02:05] because there's only two good schools there
[00:02:14] Whoever can get the gun out of the bottom
[00:02:22] Yeah, he teaches the kids how to parlay
[00:02:26] I think I mean I've told this story a hundred times
[00:18:17] So he pushed me, you know, he pushed me, held me with a shoulder and I was wearing a coat
[00:18:24] Alright, get to the, get to the part where Anderson is uncomfortable.
[00:18:30] Brief, because when a woman is stamping her feet.
[00:18:44] I'm not going to watch her in 19 minute fucking clip.
[00:18:48] Yeah, the part where she says that when you think about rape, you think about it being sexy.
[00:18:53] It's so funny that like me too just ended.
[00:18:57] But I didn't got me to and then they're like, ah, we didn't really mean believable.
[00:19:04] Andrew Cuomo got fucking got accused and there was not a word.
[00:19:08] Dude, Cuomo just like word just thinks.
[00:19:12] I wish someone would try and kill him like they did the mafia was trying to kill his dad.
[00:19:17] Yeah, but he came through with too much security.
[00:19:21] Everyone's just a fucking literally a Nazi.
[00:19:24] They're just all just fucking like authoritarian shitheads and it doesn't matter.
[00:19:28] Either you like Donald Trump or you like someone like Cuomo.
[00:19:33] I want the fucking vaccine you fucking meatball.
[00:19:35] They're not what they're fighting people.
[00:19:37] They're fighting people because it's going...
[00:19:39] His administration is so fucking shitty at getting it out.
[00:19:43] That some people were giving it to night not nurses or whatever and they're like, no.
[00:20:02] If there's extra vaccine, I will drink it like cum.
[00:20:12] You know, I remember my mom would tell us when we were growing up.
[00:20:28] What we would do is wait until after dinner and then we would drink the cum.
[00:20:35] So when you come in here and you ask me a question with this tone of whatever this...
[00:20:51] Dude, when you were here, you watched me drink it.
[00:20:55] Dude, you were doing the voice and I was like, there's no way Nick is overdoing that fucking rhythm.
[00:21:15] We're taking a look at his balls and they're cute.
[00:21:34] Oh, the thing I was saying earlier, by the way, and I'm not cruising by your breath.
[00:21:39] I have some kind of bladder issue and I have to piss quite frequently and I've also been
[00:21:51] Like I said, I mentioned the previous episode.
[00:21:53] I was the 20,000 step bastard over December.
[00:22:04] Dr. Calvin Butts is here and he's distributed his cum into my ass.
[00:22:08] I want to thank Dr. Calvin Butts for displaying his penis to me and allowing me to suck it.
[00:22:19] It's a pleasure to be with the congregation of Abecinians.
[00:22:22] It's a pleasure to get back to a whole other group of Abecinians and have them fucking
[00:22:27] He literally talks like Al Pacino, dude.
[00:22:33] Yeah, well, they're both like queens from New York.
[00:22:42] It was obviously a terrible experience for all of us.
[00:22:49] This fucking piece of shit is going to run for president.
[00:22:53] There was always a way to stick your hand out and feel around for a cock, to guide you
[00:22:58] to your lips, to guide you into your mouth and then talk about it with your brother on
[00:23:05] Who violated quarantine and then you go home to Momsauce to suck each other off.
[00:23:11] It's funny, this is going to get back to his office and we're all going to be killed by
[00:23:17] Yeah, they run like a political machine.
[00:23:24] Who is that throwing up against the dude?
[00:23:26] Do you remember during the last gubernatorial election, all that dirt on him?
[00:23:29] I don't think you should be killed Andrew.
[00:23:34] I loved how all the it was satire because I love you.
[00:23:37] I love how all the old people died in the nursing home.
[00:23:43] It was funny because we thought it would be funny to do.
[00:23:47] If you don't think it's funny, then you can suck my car.
[00:23:55] I think what you do with the vaccines is very smart.
[00:24:02] I don't think you look City's 444 seven homicides made for New York's glorious year, which is
[00:24:14] That's that she just fucking she would do like videos driving.
[00:24:22] Does anyone want to show me their penis?
[00:24:31] We are not talking about the coronavirus.
[00:24:38] It's so funny because it's like how why do people still listen to show this is going
[00:24:42] to be the same thing over and over again.
[00:24:48] I'm not going to have look if I've grown out of it at 32 years old.
[00:25:01] You've got an alternative method with a syringe that's about six inches and girth that I
[00:25:20] From my far right, Gareth Rhodes to his left.
[00:25:28] He literally is doing an alpaccino impression.
[00:25:33] I don't understand why it's so hard for you to comprehend that they're both Italian people
[00:25:42] You're like, why is the guy from Boston?
[00:25:44] You're like, what is this guy doing a Mark D.O.R.?
[00:25:50] This guy said shit in the first of all, his hotter brother doesn't talk like that.
[00:25:54] His hotter brother is a national musicer that needs to know.
[00:26:03] It's like when a politician does a fixed other accent.
[00:26:06] And he's talked about, like, I remember seeing one of the most annoying things I ever saw
[00:26:09] where he said, I would like to purchase two nipple piercings by the way.
[00:26:14] Like the biggest bulldog nipple piercings.
[00:26:16] I'm going to hook them up to a car battery.
[00:26:23] Bro, he said one time that him and Fauci were like the De Niro and Pacino of COVID.
[00:26:30] These are the kind of fucking retarded Italian brain we're dealing with here.
[00:26:45] Yeah, but there's plenty of people that sound like that.
[00:26:49] They're just like the kind of people from their heart like me too.
[00:26:54] He's not like a fucking guy from Bensonhurst.
[00:26:57] There's still people that sound like that.
[00:26:58] But those people are rich now and are pretending is my point.
[00:27:06] People don't really even talk like that anymore.
[00:27:08] Like that's where people talk like on Long Island and Staten Island now.
[00:27:12] Like in New York for the most part of the...
[00:27:15] Not in the city, but I said there's like rich Italian people living in Westchester.
[00:27:21] I would say that they're all pretending.
[00:27:27] They like sounding like normal speaking.
[00:27:36] We've got a Chinese woman from the news here.
[00:27:43] We're going to measure to see if her pussy is sideways.
[00:27:57] We're trying out Stav's new laugh as a way to stop the virus.
[00:28:01] Now the next move is we're closing down all the businesses except for the places where
[00:28:15] We're reopening every store is F.A.G. Schwartz.
[00:28:23] The Save All Restaurants Act, which will now convert every restaurant to a gay sex den.
[00:28:39] It's called the Funding All Good Government Organization Training National.
[00:28:49] It's called the Funding All Good Government Organization Training National.
[00:28:58] It's called the Funding All Good Government Organization Training National.
[00:29:25] The National Institute of Good Government and Economic
[00:30:47] He has the energy of a sexless old woman.
[00:30:51] He's like, you could tell he has a gun.
[00:30:55] He makes me feel like a mean teacher earlier in your life.
[00:31:04] He's a mean old cunt from, you know, that was probably born in 1910.
[00:31:08] They've been teaching fucking like second grade since 1961.
[00:31:17] And they know their whole hasn't been worked over.
[00:31:18] And they go home and their lives suck clearly.
[00:31:25] I think he's gotten pussy, but bad pussy.
[00:31:33] We're trying to fit all of the seniors into my ass.
[00:31:44] You just briefly discuss your plan to move all of the seniors into your ass.
[00:31:57] This is a bunch of old motherfuckers with walkers putting one limb in at a time.
[00:32:04] We have 6,000 seniors playing P-knuckle in my ass.
[00:32:15] But what I was trying to say at the beginning of the episode...
[00:32:18] I saw a pocket pussy in a public bathroom.
[00:32:27] And I had to piss quite a bit that time.
[00:32:30] So I made a loop around a couple blocks.
[00:32:41] So somebody must have left their pocket pussy in there.
[00:32:44] That's sort of like an Irish folk tale.
[00:32:47] It's kind of like a Twilight Zone episode.
[00:32:51] You're walking around the neighborhood and you see a pocket pussy.
[00:33:09] He's only straight because he likes the term eating pussy.
[00:33:22] We'd be funny to just start saying Medicare for Blacks.
[00:33:25] And then when people say like, do you mean Medicare for all?
[00:33:31] I had to wait a, wait a, wait a completely mess.
[00:33:38] Medicare for Blacks is that's why we're here.
[00:33:44] It goes without saying Medicare for all.
[00:33:46] Medicare for Blacks is what we need to be talking about.
[00:34:26] I'm just what you call a trucker in Charlie over here.
[00:34:32] I didn't tell you a story that I could share on the show.
[00:34:40] During winter break, Nick and I were hanging out and shh.
[00:34:45] Okay, Nick and I weren't, I wasn't with him.
[00:34:57] And Nick's like, see what other kinds of, because we're like, you know, what other,
[00:35:02] he says he has a lot of different kinds of, you know, the Christmas spirit.
[00:35:09] Anyway, so, so I was like, yeah, so what do you, I was like, what other kinds of drugs
[00:35:13] he has, he's like, well, he's this kind of like fat, Albanian, Queens guy from kind of
[00:35:21] And he's like, well, he lives in Queens.
[00:35:30] And he's like, I got Molly two different kinds.
[00:35:33] And I was like, well, what different, what are the two kinds that you have?
[00:35:38] And he said, well, one is called me two.
[00:35:50] One is, they're both for raping people.
[00:35:52] And I was like, well, I said, what's the difference?
[00:35:54] He's like, honestly, one is yellow and one is red, but they make you feel real good.
[00:36:13] Who was the math called in Breaking Bad Blue Crush?
[00:37:05] It's like it's just it's fucking going to get worse and worse and worse.
[00:37:19] A lot of people are still going to get welder and die.
[00:37:26] If we'll age and die or kill ourselves.
[00:37:30] I've been having sex with Walt from Breaking Bad.
[00:37:32] I've been showing him my penis in exchange for Blue Crush.
[00:37:37] Walt and I have been engaged in the homosexual relationship.
[00:38:00] I was wondering if I could suck you guys.
[00:38:05] I was wondering if me and Beaver could suck the governor's cock.
[00:38:18] I'm wondering if I could suck the governor's cock.
[00:38:34] Have you ever watched Friday Night Lights?
[00:38:35] You have a poster of him and your bedroom.
[00:38:42] You're telling the audience we recorded my bedroom.
[00:39:05] While the restaurants are 20% capacity, my ass is at 100.
[00:39:11] My ass just has door dash guys going in and out of it.
[00:39:16] They're about door dash and they bring you a piece of pussy.
[00:39:23] How about a shark's what I have for you today is you get pussy.
[00:39:30] Grab hub is they send a bitch and you just grab a pussy all up.
[00:39:37] I stick my hand out of the mail slot and I grab all up on a pussy.
[00:40:14] lab modlege dude somebody say a pRpPPPPPPPPPpP
[00:40:16] sniff sharp at your him and he's an radio.
[00:40:18] I should have tried it with Sentrache to die because I guess he is an
[00:40:37] bludgeoned me and inserted it she was then raped and murdered boy I did
[00:40:43] somebody say rape yes why are you reacting positive we have no one said pussy
[00:40:54] I'm alright because I got it because she said no smoking
[00:41:03] if you ever want to get out of jury I just pay your face green and say a bunch of
[00:41:10] shit like that I told you I ran into the bad guy from the mask of Best Buy to
[00:41:13] be sure oh hell yeah dude yeah he's a nice guy that rocks how's he look I was
[00:41:18] like you Peter Green he's like yes his face you notice with the mask mmm-hmm
[00:41:22] damn his face is fucked up like he's got a weather face I think he's got a cool
[00:41:27] face just see he's cool but I can't show him the structure now he's old so
[00:41:31] there's no like now there's no fat interesting so it looks more severe yeah
[00:41:36] he looks evil it's good for roles yeah they look evil in Best Buy he did yeah
[00:41:42] what was he getting it's black spider-man he was like do you guys sell mass I'm
[00:41:47] looking for a mass is gonna turn me green and they're like no yeah he's like
[00:41:55] do you guys some sell copies of the match just try to get noticed yeah do you
[00:42:00] up in the know maybe a movie where that happens like the only some movies like
[00:42:05] is there a movie where this happened he's like can you take me maybe some where
[00:42:09] Jim carries it he was also in the black Donnelies man which was a bad show
[00:42:19] was that watched in he's in a lot of shit he's unusual suspects he's in
[00:42:23] fucking pulp fiction oh yeah he's called clean shaven yeah yeah yeah nice she's
[00:42:29] a good actor yes yeah so is Jesse Plemons I don't know if I brought up yeah you
[00:42:35] yeah we're looking at his fucking the two posters you have in your it's funny
[00:42:38] because it's like he's not like people know who he is but I mean there's a
[00:42:41] like some pretty significant role oh for sure no he's a definite he's a
[00:42:45] definite ball fiction usual the mask those three long training he's in
[00:42:49] training day oh yeah he's in training day yeah yeah yeah he's in some really
[00:42:55] good fucking movies yeah I mean if you want a guy that looks like that he should
[00:42:58] go to guy well training day had like all of those guys he there's others those
[00:43:03] guys it's like Scott Glenn him and Lance Henriksen yep are the trifecta of like
[00:43:08] severe yeah yeah I don't know those guys names I know exactly you're talking
[00:43:12] about yeah this is cool though you're you better pretty tight it has Jesse
[00:43:18] Plemons has RBG memorabilia Scott Glenn school you don't see him and stuff much
[00:43:22] anymore you scotch one of the scotch line so there's a there's a continuum that's like
[00:43:28] like I guess Keith Carradine David Carradine Scott Glenn Lance Henriksen
[00:43:33] and Carter weller Peter Green and that's like all I know is Peter Green and the
[00:43:37] for the one carradine that jacked off to death I know both of them who's the
[00:43:41] other carradine the other one was in that movie Southern comfort never seen
[00:43:47] it he was in is another ship you know what I did see that was fucking weird
[00:43:52] I think he was a bit who's a killing them softly we just came for a bread pit
[00:43:59] and Detroit movie right I don't think so I thought it takes place in the maybe
[00:44:04] I'm wrong anyway if fuck it except for those guys it's such a piece of shit
[00:44:08] it's so bad because it's it's basically like a guy watches a seven deadly sin and
[00:44:12] synthesize like eight different body trying to be cool it's so fucking weird
[00:44:17] movie to be cool and the main guy is going doing a Ben Affleck impression
[00:44:23] the serial killer is going through all of the seven deadly sins I've never seen
[00:44:28] that either number two sloth number three being gay I was saving that one for
[00:44:34] the shit my bad that was that was kind of gonna be that was going to be that was
[00:44:40] going to be the part oh damn Tom Behringer's also in training day
[00:44:48] basically phrase Tom Behringer is not really on that spectrum though his
[00:44:53] facial features are just a little bit he doesn't play doesn't he play you may
[00:44:57] be when they're faced with some of being whether all those guys are just like
[00:45:00] they've got like severe kind of like hard features I never mind I don't know
[00:45:05] what Tom Behringer is he's you know all those guys Tom Behringer also wait now I
[00:45:12] can't remember if it's Tom Behringer I don't see it to place the dad and the
[00:45:16] other Tom Behringer is kind of hot when you're young
[00:45:20] Tom Behringer is in the big chill right it's crazy looking at like old people
[00:45:25] that look like shit and then you're like damn is it better look horrible there's
[00:45:28] guy who used to be hot oh yeah I'm gonna look fucking so bad except actually I
[00:45:36] take that back I'm gonna look like a woman I take that but you definitely will
[00:45:39] I'm gonna I'm gonna pro first of all what do you mean gonna you look do you look
[00:45:44] more like a woman you are so they them right now bro your whole vibe is that
[00:45:48] my quarantine a lot of people said I was hot when I was younger and now I look
[00:45:53] like a queen I got it wasn't hot you see that picture of his young of his
[00:45:59] brother who looks honestly like a piece of ash when he's like incredible incredible
[00:46:03] arm clomo looks like fucking dog shit yeah you called me Fred on that's an
[00:46:06] anti-Italian slaughter fucking pussy that's so funny yeah the mafia that's so
[00:46:12] embarrassing to be like a fuck it descended from the mafia and behaving
[00:46:17] this way he's not though no I know but you know I'm saying Italians yeah when
[00:46:22] men were men strong sign of the type yeah like Gary Koop what about a pepper
[00:46:27] and pepper a pepper ais pull a seat that might be not the we'll just do a clip
[00:46:32] show but my favorite moment on the show was Anthony Junior explaining the
[00:46:38] pepper am is killed at a school dinner and Tony Tony blowing up at dinner yeah
[00:46:42] I we talked about earlier but I like the time that we were arguing about our
[00:46:48] doctors oh yeah but that you met your dick is medically small though but for
[00:46:57] real we're up in a schoolhouse rock great question you know I hate question
[00:47:03] what happened to that show I don't fucking know what why did I just show pussy
[00:47:09] that's sitting in all capital here oh yeah I'm just getting sucked on I'm just
[00:47:16] getting fucked in my ass and so I can be something else and now I'm not a
[00:47:22] builder anymore like every rock and roll story when I was rock was undone by
[00:47:30] drug abuse season one sex family guy the sex egg class for school has rock
[00:47:35] with the well I remember that yeah what was it vagina junction what your
[00:47:41] function taken in sperm and spitting out babies yeah just that fucking conductor
[00:47:46] from the conjunction junctions on that's cool I thought that was the funny
[00:47:51] she's the one family guy when it came out and that blew my mind me that shit
[00:47:57] fucking like it rocked my world I was so hyped when he came back dude shut
[00:48:04] up the south I got the straightest men in Hollywood I know but that that fucking
[00:48:09] first season we should go back and watch it it's like not that's probably not
[00:48:12] good no yeah when you're like we're like 12 yeah to the funniest spot yeah
[00:48:17] it's the fucking way it hurts his knee oh yeah
[00:48:25] do the episode refines out the Chris's dick is bigger than huge yeah they
[00:48:29] get the penis car yeah yeah I think it's like plastic surgery to and not a bad
[00:48:36] show it's gonna be so fun it's how much it on how bad this show is in 10 years
[00:48:41] yeah none of it will even I mean now yes but none of it was gonna hold to
[00:48:45] it won't make any say even like it's actually like if you don't like the
[00:48:48] show yeah you can at least like understand where like where to say this
[00:48:53] isn't funny yes there'll be no way to discern what's supposed to be yeah people
[00:49:02] will be so confused at how much I'm like yeah they're like what's why do they
[00:49:06] have a retarded guy who's this woman because they won't have in 10 years
[00:49:12] and not gonna have retarded people anymore they're finally cure them so
[00:49:15] true that's true so fucking cute cure it by infrequent we have a vaccine for the
[00:49:21] retarded we're sucking off retards and spitting out we're spitting the comment
[00:49:27] to the toilet making sure it never gets near a woman's pussy my major coma
[00:49:34] sucked me off at school we're closing schools except for the delicious one
[00:49:42] some of them taste good it tastes good we need the two suck penis public
[00:49:56] officials to manage those public hospitals as I said there are yeah he's
[00:50:04] just really fucking this there are fuck you that's what I say wow that like that
[00:50:10] had a harmonic to it yeah did I have a good boy
[00:50:14] fuck fuck very good my dick I am gay my dick is
[00:50:23] ball how about those episodes of SVU we watch boys they would we watched a little
[00:50:29] break arena to the post-coronavirus the first one was a social distancing
[00:50:36] slut shaming yeah there was a bitch getting her pussy filled during Corona
[00:50:41] Corona and the second one we watched the but ultimately the care in BLM the
[00:50:46] care and BLM but ultimately the moral of the the slut shaming one mm-hmm was that
[00:50:52] if you don't get enough pussy you'll commit murder that's true the guy that I
[00:50:57] liked the moral at the end the guy that actually the anti-masker yes school the
[00:51:02] black guy was the school black guy happened to only he was only getting
[00:51:06] pussy he was only there to get his own the cell drugs in a box but he doesn't
[00:51:12] commit murder the in-sales are the ones that commit murder as for you and I
[00:51:16] kind of I like that I like that maybe it's a lot about watching it yeah no the
[00:51:23] guy the murder at the end spoiler alert guys is the guy who gets mad at the
[00:51:29] girl for not so distancing and getting fucked she got fucked and he wanted
[00:51:34] pussy from her and he want any fuck everyone in the first of all did ever so
[00:51:38] the Italian girl fuck both of them so she's she's a chalia girl fuck the the
[00:51:44] the jock and the black guy in the girl yeah she's not a little she a bit of a
[00:51:50] little she was having a little bit of a Steve Cougens styled trip if you know
[00:51:54] what I'm saying we can get pussy on the way around Italy I don't know this is
[00:52:00] good focus friend and it was a reach I haven't seen this but I think I think
[00:52:05] it was a take-off of Amanda Knox a little bit because she got charged with
[00:52:10] murder for her roommate when she was living in Italy and she was having
[00:52:14] threesomes with her roommate and her roommates black boyfriend oh interesting
[00:52:18] I believe and and then yeah and then she was put on trial for murder and then
[00:52:25] she beat the case she beat the case and move back and then got married to a guy
[00:52:30] that looks exactly like what's his name ref ref oh that's awesome pretty cool
[00:52:36] but I used to have a massive crush on her Amanda now there's a couple of
[00:52:40] ladies murderers that are pretty hot first of all you know she fucks she
[00:52:43] seconds of all she was like kind of like closer to our age yeah and she looks so
[00:52:48] scared who else are there isn't there a couple women that were hot that murdered
[00:52:51] I mean yeah of course but like high profile who's the lady that murdered her
[00:52:58] kids I don't know a lot of women killed her no there's not sexy one though there's
[00:53:04] the I mean there's the teachers that fucked the kids there that's not what I'm
[00:53:07] asking about there's some hot is the kind of random bullshit you know what's
[00:53:11] said a hot lady the murder her kids or something
[00:53:17] no women do that shit all the time okay never mind sorry isn't there's
[00:53:24] whatever dude I'm trying to find something that lost you penis yes that's
[00:53:29] why you had I was wondering why you're looking at the world's strongest
[00:53:32] teles microscope yeah world strongest telescope dot com
[00:53:36] Delosco microscope both an app that you can use your phone camera well that's
[00:53:42] not what you do at him was it no that's not what he was doing thank you back me
[00:53:47] up here I got a nice hot rip about it having a really tiny cock we don't have
[00:53:51] to rip we can just see it's not a riff you're right I'm sure we can't see it
[00:53:55] because it's so you're right you know what I'm in the wrong here making I'm
[00:53:59] not making I'm gonna start making this reality is reality with that like
[00:54:03] clear raincoat material over the car yeah that's awesome just to show and then I
[00:54:09] would not want that my days a bit there's a movie about that and then just go
[00:54:14] walk around New York until you someone tries to arrest you and then pull out
[00:54:18] your phone be like excuse me I'm gay hmm excuse me I'm the governor of New
[00:54:24] York there's literally the gate got you in his car I'm like was we're back again
[00:54:29] my name is Andrew Cuomo and I'm the president yeah he's just at the Chipotle
[00:54:36] with his dick out in line I didn't read it but supposedly there's a bill now
[00:54:39] that they're trying to pass it says they can just arrest you if they think you have
[00:54:43] for coughing if they think you have coronavirus they can remove you from your
[00:54:46] home that's cool we're home in New York yeah you fuck with a fuck you're supposed
[00:54:51] to go the fucking river gonna kidnap you but where it's like isn't the whole
[00:54:56] point you stay home living in this city you know you got it if you want to be
[00:55:00] out and about coffee you want to be a dumb lib and you live in New York for
[00:55:05] your art there is a movie called so fine yeah where about a guy who he's fucking
[00:55:14] a chicken and he has to leave quickly and he grabs her jeans and then the
[00:55:18] ass cheeks tear on her jeans and then he designs a pair of pants where they're
[00:55:23] like those plastic raincoat material over the ass and then they become a
[00:55:29] sensation it gets really rich there's a movie about that you know we're having a
[00:55:34] dream about what you wish it's a real it's actually it's a real movie it starts
[00:55:37] Ryan O'Neill it's it's actually it's not a bad movie I gotta and maybe I didn't
[00:55:42] pitch it well enough but it's all right well sounds bad all right was your
[00:55:47] favorite part where you see the guys ass when it breaks you know I know this is a
[00:55:50] woman's that's what I'm saying this girl told me this dumb shit she was like oh I
[00:55:55] had this dream that there is a documentary about how Adam was the
[00:55:59] sweetest man in the world and you were in it I'm like what kind of fucking
[00:56:03] retarded you need to fucking stop listening what's wrong with that you need
[00:56:08] I should not listen to this thing we're gonna bizarre fuck is wrong with you
[00:56:14] subconscious is so fucked up that you're having a dream about Adam a documentary
[00:56:18] about Adam being the sweetest man sounds like a sweet document it's a bad
[00:56:23] dog yeah I said that's a kind of dream like a closet a Japanese man yeah yeah
[00:56:30] words mine won't allow him to think about gay say he's repressed even in his
[00:56:33] dreams yeah so he thinks of something even gayer than gay sex and then they
[00:56:42] interviewed you for it so it's a dream about me is it talking and being like
[00:56:47] oh yeah he's a good guy I would go see you yeah yeah we think it'll be like
[00:56:56] the mr. Rogers documentary it's a beautiful day inside my hands it's a
[00:57:01] beautiful day inside my ass won't you come over mr.
[00:57:04] Cuomo won't you fuck my ass how is your cool was there you fuck my ass oh it's a
[00:57:10] beautiful day inside my ass it's a beautiful day inside my ass it's a
[00:57:16] beautiful day inside my balls at two o'clock mr. trolley is gonna come through
[00:57:23] and hopefully he will be bringing us pictures of gay porn he comes mr. trolley
[00:57:29] now and later in the afternoon I will be meeting with King Friday to possibly
[00:57:37] fuck just at the gay ass King Friday I did remember the jury do we're all
[00:57:46] governor Cuomo welcome welcome and show me your penis
[00:57:50] penis governor gladly mr. Friday or skin Friday yeah would fucking mr. Rogers
[00:57:59] enter the fantasy world I don't remember I was that because it existed inside the
[00:58:03] trolley tunnel right no I think they were just cut away my impression was
[00:58:09] always that the trolley was the thing that transcended the two dimensions I
[00:58:13] believe that's correct that's correct yeah he was never standing next to the
[00:58:16] puppet yeah I don't think so I think it might have I think that the puppets
[00:58:20] would sometimes talk to him we're going to try to figure out how to get into
[00:58:26] mr. Rogers tunnel so that I personally may meet King Friday and offer the suck
[00:58:32] as cock in exchange for magic that'll get rid of the virus
[00:58:40] yes our current plan in New York is I'll be meeting with Big Bird so that he
[00:58:48] may lay an egg inside of my ass and the challenge is that if I can hold three of
[00:58:54] Big Bird's football sized eggs in my ass without breaking them he'll get the
[00:58:59] virus cured he big bird has the snuffle up a guess if I can put his entire
[00:59:06] trunk in my mouth they said he'll give us the cure to the virus why don't they
[00:59:12] just give it to us now because it says to me straight don't you remember
[00:59:19] no can you tell me how to get to says I'm gay I'm gay street says I'm gay street
[00:59:35] says I'm gay street we're having the police look into who will be gay I know
[00:59:44] called you gay search is the show is called sesame Street I'm deaf my ears are
[00:59:49] filled with calm I went to come diving over the weekend I don't want to hear it
[00:59:56] I'm allowed to have a vacation I beat the virus haven't you read my book if I
[01:00:06] want to fill a bathtub with calm and go come diving I have a Scrooge McDuck
[01:00:12] room in my house and I dive into the calm and now my ears are filled with calm so
[01:00:22] I mistakenly thought someone said I was gay but they were saying sesame Street
[01:00:31] oh fuck nearly key the guy I think is hilarious the guy we were talking about
[01:00:35] it while we were walking what guy gets arrested for child porn I know that guy
[01:00:40] is good so the jail is tough for him yeah he's like I want to do it one of the
[01:00:45] hardest to spring I want to do the hardest time it tried to be a crooked
[01:00:52] cop they need nothing sorry than the Lester time can you show me how to suck
[01:00:59] how to suck on my hands hard dick how to suck on it Andrew Cuomo I guarantee
[01:01:09] you he's mad Big Bird big birds and queens did yeah it's a sesame Street in
[01:01:15] Queens yeah it's right but I think it's I think they shoot at the Kaufman story
[01:01:20] I don't think sesame Street is a real street though no you fucking dunce I'm
[01:01:26] saying that's where Andrew Cuomo but I thought the show I mean may they shoot
[01:01:31] it in Queens they should I thought sesame Street was supposed to be it's
[01:01:34] supposed to take place and yeah I think I think it's not a Queens neighborhood
[01:01:40] say it I'm saying I think it's supposed to take place I don't have it out
[01:01:44] I would trust me I would but I don't have it out
[01:01:50] let me see if let me see if Cuomo hangs out with Big Bird for sure dude why
[01:01:56] wouldn't he we guys Big Bird guys no I didn't fucking I love big but you
[01:02:01] serious you know fuck with him no I like I like Grover I like to Grover and Big
[01:02:05] Bird yeah I like Big Bird for sure why he wasn't funny it was just a nice
[01:02:12] nice cool guy he's a nice crow Grover was funny this is why you the
[01:02:17] documentary the never over was anxious that's who you liked him because he was
[01:02:20] the Jewish I'm scared scared of himself Grover get shot out of Canada no you're
[01:02:26] thinking of Gonzo you fucking idiot Gonzo was cool Gonzo got pussy for
[01:02:30] chickens Grover is a walk a walk a walk no that's no far Jesus Christ of course
[01:02:36] I loved Fosy that was a Jew is a puppet Sir Telly and Grover who's the guy
[01:02:41] that got shot at it Gonzo you fuck yeah yeah and you invented a kind of porn
[01:02:45] none of this is fucking sesame Street you idiot that's Muppets yeah Muppets
[01:02:50] you're embarrassing yourself all right I forget I guess Grover is sesame
[01:02:55] Street Grover is sesame Street is Telly Grover Elmo Big Bird Cookie Monster yup
[01:03:01] and then the count no Elmo for sure Elmo Oscar Elmo Oscar I fuck to the
[01:03:09] camo's the star of the show but almost fucking almost over the Spanish
[01:03:13] almost guys for his gay he's a lot like at four years old he's got a fucking
[01:03:17] house made out of crayon drawings fucking pussy yeah he's definitely I
[01:03:21] like bird and her needs life burner and he's cool yeah you definitely like their
[01:03:25] lifestyle I like their lifestyle with your best friend that's my life that's
[01:03:29] literally my lifestyle hey bird are we are we yeah look it's actually de Blasio
[01:03:37] this friends with Big Bird yeah he met Big Bird woman wouldn't be taught look
[01:03:46] me this picture is so funny he's so happy he's so happy
[01:03:52] yeah I'm showing big bird he's smiling so much
[01:03:57] you know I mean to buzz you might be because to much are you kidding and even
[01:04:03] though he's a fucking disaster of a mayor everyone hates you but he's like he is
[01:04:07] kind of a fucking retard so for sure you can't really I don't I just I think
[01:04:13] it's fun to make fun of him yeah seems like a nice enough guy he seems well
[01:04:17] intention but it's like just a dog shit fucking mayor I mean everyone hates the
[01:04:22] mayor of New York never been a part of it not other than Rudy after 9-11 not
[01:04:28] one is gonna be Andrew mother fucking Yang dude the fucking Yang gang I think
[01:04:32] that it's just a job where you're set up to be hated I think it's just it's
[01:04:36] never about my boy Fierolo look like back in the day people like it a little
[01:04:42] flower little fear he ruled and he did all the good shit yeah people love
[01:04:48] Dallas Smith too but I think he was the governor not the mayor big Al yeah
[01:04:52] Fierolo what a good name dude Fierolo Maguardia such a sick name that's the
[01:04:57] kind of Italian you need to be our way are we are we about to have Andrew Yang
[01:05:02] is the mayor of our city I don't think so although he did say if he was the mayor
[01:05:07] he would make James Dolan sell the team which you would have a lot of New York
[01:05:12] on your side if you said that well he was crazy about Al Smith as he lived in
[01:05:16] like like basically the two bridges neighborhood for his entire life damn
[01:05:22] yeah like in the five I was just like yeah when he yeah he was like a just like
[01:05:26] a lower East side guy oh cool he spoke like five lines spoke like like like
[01:05:30] Yiddish Italian damn yeah that's pretty tight then but like probably also couldn't
[01:05:34] read yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck yeah when was he gov governor
[01:05:39] Marol it was governor again like the 19 1910s 1912 nice yeah right I think Jimmy
[01:05:48] Walker was the mayor of New York I know Mike that guy was oh Smith governor he
[01:05:55] was governor for a long time he served like four terms nice did you read that in
[01:06:01] the penis broker your favorite book I did yeah I only know about Fierolo
[01:06:06] because of the name is so good and he's in the airport airport my so great which
[01:06:12] I missed dude I used to be in and out of that bitch so off he's gonna look
[01:06:15] already a lot there's like 10 minutes from there I'm so sad dude can't wait to
[01:06:21] tour again in like a fucking year damn I just touched that ball they were so
[01:06:27] little you touch my shot off they were so little they were so little they were
[01:06:36] big I would have been like damn I've been lying this whole time Jimmy Walker even
[01:06:40] sick of the Tammany Hall mayor I think he might have been like the last
[01:06:43] Tammany Hall mayor he's in New York but just corrupt his shit yeah you had a
[01:06:48] you had a casino in Central Park there's just him and second hang out there
[01:06:53] like Bob Brett that rules yeah salute yeah this guy ruled for real though your
[01:07:00] balls are so tiny it felt honestly like touching a pussy
[01:07:07] I thought my balls in honestly felt like touching a fat pussy and find out this
[01:07:13] felt like a little pussy I didn't say that you touch my balls from behind yeah
[01:07:20] the classic ball touch me say what you will I wish I could have been Jimmy
[01:07:28] what a cool guy to be yeah that's just a fucking stupid goon yeah hell yeah
[01:07:33] talking so much pussy talking his way in the big man gambling all the time
[01:07:37] drinking with my prohibition yeah scandal and rexination you accepted
[01:07:45] large sums of money from businessmen looking for me those just kickbacks
[01:07:49] oh that's fucking that's boring that ain't shit
[01:07:54] you got little ass legs to the left tickle my last 10 about to I'll just touch
[01:08:03] my balls yeah and without my permission that's on the record I want if what he
[01:08:09] if the governor is listening to this because the amount of slander I'd like
[01:08:13] him to take you like you like him to press charges against I'd like to yes
[01:08:18] human rights violation you wish yeah that was that was the other thing too it's
[01:08:25] like he Jimmy Walker like one of when he ran he like promised to like revitalize
[01:08:29] Central Park and then all he did I think was build that casino for himself
[01:08:34] that rocks yeah the Central Park used to be like way fucked up yeah that's
[01:08:39] awesome that survived it's it's been it's that's the cool thing about the
[01:08:43] power burgers you read it and you realize like you know people have like this
[01:08:46] idea of New York like ascending like other cities ascending until like the
[01:08:50] 1950s and 60s and then their social unrest and it falls apart and then it
[01:08:54] kind of came back the other in the 1990s but New York's gone through like several
[01:08:58] phases of becoming like an absolute fucking just a porous place in America
[01:09:02] just a just a complete shithole yeah and then being revitalized and then it
[01:09:07] happens again yeah nice I would I mean is that more of a history of New
[01:09:13] York or history that guy of Moses it's it's both it's both because I would I'd
[01:09:18] like to read just about New York I don't care about that book that I have right
[01:09:22] there Gotham I'll read why don't you just take it because Adam certainly isn't
[01:09:26] right I like reading it yeah I mean Adam's Adams read two percent of books that's
[01:09:30] bullshit dude how many books in this room have you read there's like there's
[01:09:36] 15 to 20 of these book okay let's count them one two three the quick math there's
[01:09:42] probably some of those books in that bookshelf are not mine okay doesn't
[01:09:46] count bitch so with the statement Adam is read two percent of the books in his
[01:09:49] house that's true and but you said it's bullshit and some of that like
[01:09:54] five percent does not hold you it does hold you I don't have and like some of
[01:09:57] these books are bullshit to the prior in high school yeah no that's not true I
[01:10:02] don't have any books I read in high school yeah we got the secret how to live
[01:10:06] with a small penis yes having the littlest balls of all time so it's a
[01:10:12] cover on that one so you're secretly gay that was a nice beach read how to be
[01:10:18] vacation we got here the game in parentheses for gay
[01:10:28] being gay for dummy well sometimes it gets confused you gotta start back to
[01:10:34] it is it they make a down syndrome for dummy's book yeah I can see I might make
[01:10:41] that you can show I might be the next shirt down syndrome for dummy yeah you
[01:10:45] better candy soup for the down syndrome so okay pretty good what about a bowl
[01:10:50] of calm for the gay soul yeah for the atom yes freedom so I've been reading
[01:10:57] poetry out of a book called the ball of calm for me oh I miss fuck I miss this
[01:11:06] guys god damn it I have to bike home in the it's nighttime just get new birth I
[01:11:11] guess I could it's nice it's cold I have a packed extra layers but it's about
[01:11:16] it's about getting physical activity and just workout when you get home I
[01:11:20] already did yoga this morning well and your bike's over here that's pretty good
[01:11:24] and I did a little fucking guns workout sis I'm gonna try and work out tonight I've
[01:11:31] been doing I wake up in the morning and I jump rope for 10 minutes nice it's
[01:11:35] good get your heart rate over like 180 yeah do my fucking feet I love to do a lot
[01:11:41] of stuff but it's a rich ouch out squeeze it get him you honestly do feel like a
[01:11:47] woman in a lot of ways yeah I'm just I'm just an eye to him you make me feel
[01:11:53] you like a woman you know I think I probably could fuck you be on it
[01:11:59] wouldn't know how I'm not tough first of all I could if you'd be so fucked up if
[01:12:03] you guys got married and quit the show that would be awesome then I just had
[01:12:06] the city about myself do like rant style podcast oh yeah do you build
[01:12:13] bird in nice bro what they're warning everybody's talking about this Joe
[01:12:18] Biden guy like he's gonna be different I'm sorry weren't you just bitching about
[01:12:22] old white man and you shouldn't you just tell everybody that's the fucking one
[01:12:27] kind of guy that can't change a fucking tank that's right Bill and that's who
[01:12:32] you picked shut up the oldest whitest guy is guy he was in the Mandalorian I'm
[01:12:38] in the Mandalorian now I always love seeing him act yeah he was good he was
[01:12:43] in breaking bad too right yeah Billy suck I heard he was a really I heard he
[01:12:51] was pretty good in that in that uh they did the BPD the BPD movie Wobble Powell
[01:12:58] what's his name no what no what's his name SNL so we're lining
[01:13:05] split book the guy from SNL I'm gonna play will farewell farewell farewell
[01:13:09] the but Chris young the tattoo I don't know why I'm forgetting his name oh
[01:13:14] Charlie D'Londro Pete Davidson Pete David's Pete David I heard Bill I heard that
[01:13:23] movie was not very good but the bill bear was quite good I'm sure I'm sure
[01:13:27] what's that in island no I don't give I could not give a shit less about that
[01:13:31] oh yeah did not trailer it's like the whole bad instead of trying to be a
[01:13:36] movie that's I was trying to be a tattooist the fun that's so fun the fucking
[01:13:40] that movie is like it should be called click here to find out more about Pete
[01:13:44] Davidson yeah no thank you yeah the thing is everything except Pete the
[01:13:49] Pete Davidson angle was pretty good like you know I like
[01:13:53] mercito may bill bird they had a lot of comics in it appetite I'm interested but
[01:14:01] it's like we know about fucking people what the fuck is Staten Island anyways
[01:14:05] it's just it's already long island yeah and it's so Staten Island is just a
[01:14:10] another sheet of your long island it's another thing or long I don't think it is
[01:14:13] I think it has like the same kind of no long island's got the Hamptons machine
[01:14:17] long island is a poor ass places to yeah but the standard is have it what's
[01:14:21] the nice place instead I think there are nice places there really yeah look at
[01:14:25] Zillow why wouldn't stand there were like there were mob bosses like yeah
[01:14:33] Colombo days that's the one out there that's the boss of bosses lived out
[01:14:37] there yeah that guy they got that japan japanese yeah no he can kill his house
[01:14:44] he got killed by Gotti oh that's right I kind of I just all of a sudden got a
[01:14:49] hand cream the fucking like it high and just watch mob bullshit yeah dude it's
[01:14:53] the best yeah that's what we would be doing if we weren't doing comedy right
[01:14:59] we should the mass but the mass but the mass but it would be the king's the mass
[01:15:03] open a little restaurant mass but they got the dot he's got a restaurant
[01:15:08] slash chop shop is a restaurant that's got a garage in it yep steel car bring
[01:15:12] it in will disassemble it we have some chicken parm and you get yeah you get
[01:15:15] fucking eggplant pawn yeah oh yeah I've been craving a man's penis and it's
[01:15:22] called the boys is summer I've been craving a man's penis he's craving a
[01:15:30] man's penis we have Adam on video sucking a penis the cravey and seafood
[01:15:38] pasta recently that information will be handed over to the district attorney's
[01:15:43] office for the southern district of New York and we'll be looking to file federal
[01:15:48] charges against him it's a US attorney as a homosexual and which is illegal if
[01:15:57] you're also Jewish you're Jewish and gay there's we have first-hand testimony
[01:16:05] indicating that his balls feel very small like a woman's pussy and his legs are
[01:16:12] also gay small that's true are you gonna answer any questions about the coronavirus
[01:16:18] get this man out of here you're dead you're fucking dead dead we already
[01:16:23] decided what we were talking about coronavirus was 20 minutes ago now we're
[01:16:29] talking about his balls I don't appreciate you saying that they felt
[01:16:35] small they I'm just you can't feel how big a ball is just a joke yes you can I
[01:16:40] don't appreciate it but I don't care about all these I can't these mouth
[01:16:44] breathers listening thinking she's like the back of the hand what's that my
[01:16:49] balls feel way after the balls felt poked my balls and he said they felt with
[01:16:54] one finger that tip of I could see to motherfucker well you can see what it
[01:16:59] was little this is the left ball that's the right ball right there don't don't
[01:17:03] tell me what I tell don't try don't try and fucking gaslight me right now
[01:17:07] your gas I fell your balls they were little that the balls that I've looked
[01:17:15] down at my whole life or not the balls that I think they're and I that's
[01:17:19] exactly what I'm telling you that's a lot of all sense of that's a gas light you
[01:17:23] you overrate your balls and I'm telling you as a fucking non-biased party who
[01:17:29] fell your nuts and I've seen them plenty of times and is on the record
[01:17:32] multiple times saying they look like heavy little marbles that they're not
[01:17:36] heavy but they're not big not marble that they hang low but they're small I've
[01:17:43] said that a multiple I have long scrotum thank you my fellow Americans his
[01:17:48] balls are small thank you thank you mr. President Freeman we will look at his
[01:17:54] balls but it's time and whether or not his balls are small and they are we just
[01:18:00] did we looked we just what I've got the paper I just saw hold on a second
[01:18:06] I'll be getting the files downloaded into my brain and they're small the
[01:18:11] premise that it's a black eye that his brain replaced with a computer so he
[01:18:15] could become president the only way would work deep impact a black I was
[01:18:21] good he was on the side of the road selling shift ropes she like what
[01:18:26] selling shift for road pieces and he's a computer parts truck jacknipes and the
[01:18:34] microchips they impact his brain deeply and he's like I'm just saying
[01:18:40] beep boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop I like to some you know
[01:18:45] southern businessman comes by and he's like well certainly Susan what have we
[01:18:51] got here I forgot it's like it's one of the smartest well well well well
[01:18:57] dama and great well Charles in charge well well well perfect strangers we got
[01:19:09] a computer man what are we got you must be mad about you absolutely free
[01:19:20] show about this you gotta be Joey on NBC what was that shitty show
[01:19:31] Oh Cosby mysteries that was a Kramer show Kramer did a show right after signed
[01:19:36] about those words just called the Michael Richard show no he was like a
[01:19:39] detective or something yeah and then but he wasn't Kramer no but he be dressed
[01:19:45] like Kramer I believe you got a dress like that it's a good start honestly
[01:19:50] Kramer a good style interesting I think that's gonna do it have a nice wife by
[01:20:01] the holy cow BALLameswho's not it up is Chinese jagby the teacher