[00:00:00] Oh yeah.

[00:00:07] Ohh.

[00:00:11] Yes.

[00:00:12] We got...

[00:00:17] Who remembers this one?

[00:00:20] Some are fucking beatin', some are fucking macaroon right now.

[00:00:26] Yes!

[00:00:27] Whoo!

[00:00:28] The Macarena!

[00:00:29] The Macarena is the most popular Macarena.

[00:00:31] It's the most popular Macarena.

[00:00:32] It's the most popular Macarena.

[00:00:33] It's the 90s all over again folks.

[00:00:36] We got a president being impeached.

[00:00:41] Big tech is at the top of the world.

[00:00:49] That's right.

[00:00:50] The dot com bubble is about to burst.

[00:00:52] Apple is about to burst.

[00:00:53] I can't wait for that.

[00:00:54] Apple deciding unilaterally that certain people shouldn't be allowed to say things feels as

[00:00:59] good as the first time I saw Jeff Goldblum on that iMac commercial.

[00:01:05] The future is going to be great, big tech.

[00:01:08] There's more transparency than ever.

[00:01:11] Especially the computer.

[00:01:13] The computer is now transparent.

[00:01:16] The company is as opaque as it's ever been.

[00:01:19] That's the future we all want to live in.

[00:01:22] Is a world where the most beautiful, the most special man in the world who looked at us a

[00:01:28] day ago and said I love you.

[00:01:30] You're very special.

[00:01:31] You're very special and beautiful.

[00:01:33] That's who gets paid off the platform.

[00:01:37] I'm sorry.

[00:01:38] As I'm to understand it that these boards of universal love and salvation are supposed to

[00:01:43] be interpreted by themselves as an active insurrection.

[00:01:47] And not only that, but you'd think he did the 9-11 haters and losers tweet.

[00:01:51] Yeah, he said the biggest bangers of all time.

[00:01:54] Barney Frank Naples protruding disgusting tweet.

[00:01:57] Top 10 he's got at least five on there.

[00:01:59] Yeah.

[00:02:00] And that's who deserves to get kicked off of social media.

[00:02:02] They said they kicked him off.

[00:02:04] He said go home.

[00:02:06] I love you.

[00:02:07] You're very special.

[00:02:08] He's special.

[00:02:09] It ended.

[00:02:10] That's it.

[00:02:11] The whole thing ended literally like a Barney the dinosaur episode.

[00:02:14] It's the exact words Barney has in this show.

[00:02:17] And then it was all over.

[00:02:19] We learned a lot today.

[00:02:20] It's great.

[00:02:21] And you're all very special.

[00:02:24] And I love you.

[00:02:25] Clean up, clean up everybody.

[00:02:27] Do your share.

[00:02:28] Dude.

[00:02:29] I find interesting because I received a temporary ban from Instagram for posting Chinese Barney.

[00:02:37] Meanwhile, guess who's still on Twitter denying the Uyghur genocide?

[00:02:42] That guy who's a shut up bitch to people.

[00:02:44] Yeah, that guy rocks wild.

[00:02:46] He's the only person I follow on Twitter in his account is awesome.

[00:02:49] That guy is incredible.

[00:02:51] He's just about the entire week like Pompeo a faggot.

[00:02:54] Who's that guy?

[00:02:56] He's like a, he's a media guy.

[00:02:58] He writes for the daily chink.

[00:03:01] I think it's not racist.

[00:03:02] I can't remember the name of the paper.

[00:03:04] I don't think that's the right thing.

[00:03:06] I don't believe that that's the name of the name of the name.

[00:03:09] It's what you call people's daily or something.

[00:03:13] Yeah, it sounds so like that.

[00:03:15] I don't know.

[00:03:16] It is crazy how the day after Trump got banned from Twitter, I was thinking about how he

[00:03:23] was doing and how I've thought about this man every day for the last five years.

[00:03:30] That's why you're a fucking loser dude.

[00:03:31] I don't think about that guy every day.

[00:03:33] Sometimes I'm so fucked up.

[00:03:34] I don't even know what the fuck's going on.

[00:03:35] Dude, you're lucky dude.

[00:03:36] That's common to love.

[00:03:37] I'm just kind of a fair with our friends.

[00:03:39] We're going to have to make this one the premium because somebody's supposed to call in and

[00:03:45] I have her back from them.

[00:03:47] I also don't feel like figuring out the ads.

[00:03:50] That's fine.

[00:03:51] Do it.

[00:03:52] Managing both figuring out the ad reads and figuring out how to get this guy to call

[00:03:58] in.

[00:03:59] You don't have to fuck it.

[00:04:00] You don't have to fuck it yourself to us.

[00:04:01] I'm going to have to support you to anybody.

[00:04:03] I'm going to fucking finish my ass on my car.

[00:04:06] I'm not going to have to.

[00:04:07] That's our week and a half old.

[00:04:09] You're right.

[00:04:10] Sometimes I feel like I'm about to have a stroke.

[00:04:12] Why a stroke?

[00:04:13] Not hard to get like my head like squeeze.

[00:04:16] What is the stroke?

[00:04:17] It's a heart attack of the brain.

[00:04:19] Yeah.

[00:04:20] You're one of your fucking brain muscles pops.

[00:04:23] Damn.

[00:04:24] Yeah.

[00:04:25] You think too hard.

[00:04:27] Does it didn't Rick Ross get a stroke because he was doing too much lean and he was too

[00:04:30] fat on an airplane?

[00:04:31] Didn't they say that about Lil Wayne too but he's epileptic?

[00:04:34] No, he lost his weight.

[00:04:37] Rick Ross.

[00:04:38] He got Ross fit.

[00:04:39] He did get Ross fit.

[00:04:40] Honestly, I liked him better plus eyes.

[00:04:42] Why?

[00:04:43] I just don't think he's just cute anymore.

[00:04:46] Think about all the pussy.

[00:04:47] Yeah, but I think the kind of personal investment.

[00:04:49] No, it's not that.

[00:04:50] Think about all the pussy that you've been getting from girls that would have been fucking

[00:04:53] Rick Ross.

[00:04:54] That's true.

[00:04:55] We do have a big overlap.

[00:04:56] Yeah.

[00:04:57] We do have a big overlap.

[00:04:58] And now that he lost the weight, it's all funneling to you.

[00:05:01] That is true.

[00:05:02] So you should stop for every fat guy to get skinny.

[00:05:05] That's true.

[00:05:06] Well, look, I'm at the top of the fat guy food chain, I would say.

[00:05:10] Yeah.

[00:05:11] The guys that are above me are like defensive line.

[00:05:13] You should have gone to the Capitol and like got food out of the refrigerator.

[00:05:17] I should have seen.

[00:05:18] Don't want some of that Nancy Pelosi's ice cream.

[00:05:19] Yes, to see you on the...

[00:05:21] Damn, she probably had those ice creams on deck.

[00:05:24] She probably had some good ass chocolates in her from that video.

[00:05:27] It really was.

[00:05:28] That is going to be one of the funniest things we'll ever see in our entire lives.

[00:05:32] It was, I was just, it came out of that day.

[00:05:34] Oh, yeah.

[00:05:35] I was, I was thrilled all day.

[00:05:38] It was thrilling. That guy smiling with the fucking podium.

[00:05:41] Yeah.

[00:05:42] You got a guy with the feet?

[00:05:44] Definitely going to jail.

[00:05:45] The feet on the...

[00:05:46] Going into Pelosi's desk.

[00:05:48] Like he doesn't even have a shirt on.

[00:05:50] Yeah.

[00:05:51] He's got it.

[00:05:52] Oh, he lost his shirt because there's an interview with him in the mall afterwards.

[00:05:56] Yeah.

[00:05:57] He's wearing a shirt when he's sitting at Pelosi's desk and somehow...

[00:06:01] Yeah, he was wearing a shirt or a polo shirt desk.

[00:06:04] I like the, I mean, they must have fucked the place up.

[00:06:08] I mean, some people shouldn't have their pants.

[00:06:10] They pissed.

[00:06:11] They just took a shirt in there.

[00:06:12] Oh, we have to say.

[00:06:13] We have to say...

[00:06:14] I don't see how you're not happy about that.

[00:06:15] Regardless of who did it.

[00:06:16] It's so funny.

[00:06:18] I mean, I guess some people died, which is gay.

[00:06:21] Yeah, but a woman in a cop.

[00:06:24] I guess a cop, you can never be sad about it.

[00:06:28] And a guy tasered himself at the ball.

[00:06:30] That guy, I was going to say...

[00:06:31] This is the best, the best, most funny.

[00:06:33] Big rest in peace.

[00:06:34] Big rest in peace to the guy.

[00:06:35] He shocked himself in the nuts so hard he died.

[00:06:37] And he's a cop.

[00:06:38] He's off to the cop.

[00:06:39] Yeah, well people are like, oh, well, he won't lower the flag for the cop.

[00:06:43] And he's like, they already lowered the flag directly onto his head.

[00:06:47] Yeah.

[00:06:48] Did he get trampled?

[00:06:49] He got like bludgeoned with the fighters in the fight.

[00:06:51] That's right.

[00:06:52] Jesus fucking...

[00:06:53] Another win for the fire department over the police.

[00:06:56] Yeah, that's true.

[00:06:57] That's big fire.

[00:06:58] It's fingerprints all over it.

[00:07:00] I love how cops were...

[00:07:01] Apparently they were saying cops just flashing their badges at cops.

[00:07:04] Like, no, it's cool.

[00:07:05] It's cool.

[00:07:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:07:09] They're rocked.

[00:07:10] The cops are such like a piece of shit.

[00:07:11] They think they could just do whatever, man.

[00:07:13] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:14] Flashing your badge to get into the Capitol.

[00:07:16] And then it worked also.

[00:07:17] He has for half of them.

[00:07:18] Well, then there's that picture of that lady that looks like fucking mother goose.

[00:07:21] With her fucking fucked up like jaw.

[00:07:23] Yeah, she's just got like Parkinson's dementia.

[00:07:26] Hi.

[00:07:27] Right.

[00:07:28] Like she makes that noise.

[00:07:29] She does.

[00:07:30] She's done nothing but make fucking Dutch apple pies for like 35 years.

[00:07:33] It's crazy that those people in the last four years started using fortune.

[00:07:38] Which was a website for children.

[00:07:40] Yeah.

[00:07:41] Well, there's also that one guy that fucking...

[00:07:43] He looked like the bad guy from Identity.

[00:07:45] You haven't seen Identity, but I think you were describing them earlier.

[00:07:49] The cross-eyed guy.

[00:07:50] Yeah, the cross-eyed guy.

[00:07:51] Who was in a bunch of movies.

[00:07:53] Yeah.

[00:07:54] Like for whatever reason in between like 98 and 2005, they were like,

[00:07:57] Oh, we need a cross-eyed retard.

[00:07:58] We need a go-to cross-eyed guy.

[00:08:00] Oh, the cross-eyed guy.

[00:08:01] You knew what I'm talking about?

[00:08:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:08:03] Wait, was he...

[00:08:04] He was in a lot of Adam Sandler stuff?

[00:08:06] No, no.

[00:08:07] Adam Sandler had a cross-eyed guy.

[00:08:08] Adam Sandler's friend who could be cross-eyed.

[00:08:10] Oh, yeah.

[00:08:11] He was the linebacker in Waterboy.

[00:08:12] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:13] He's Waterboy.

[00:08:14] Yeah.

[00:08:15] Oh, that guy.

[00:08:16] And then he takes a piss and there are spits in it.

[00:08:17] I guess.

[00:08:18] Eee!

[00:08:19] And they tried to fight him.

[00:08:20] That's a great move.

[00:08:21] That's a good move.

[00:08:22] I'll pull him up right now.

[00:08:23] Shout out to that lady.

[00:08:24] What's her name?

[00:08:25] It's a weird name.

[00:08:26] Avicii Valancourt.

[00:08:27] Yeah.

[00:08:28] Like Zasura or some shit like that.

[00:08:29] That's her real name.

[00:08:30] Farruza Bulk.

[00:08:32] I would love for her to give me top of those wild eyes.

[00:08:35] I would love to look into those wild blue eyes while I'm getting my fucking Prickadale

[00:08:40] serviced.

[00:08:41] Dark hair and very light blue eyes is a hot, dark hair.

[00:08:47] It's not about...

[00:08:48] Hold on.

[00:08:49] This guy isn't even cross-eyed.

[00:08:50] What?

[00:08:51] Yeah, he would just do it, I guess, in every movie.

[00:08:54] Wait till the cross-eyed actors hear about this.

[00:08:57] Yeah.

[00:08:58] I should have cast a real one.

[00:09:00] Let me see if I can find...

[00:09:02] No.

[00:09:03] I'm like a minas...

[00:09:04] I'm like a minas...

[00:09:05] Who the fuck is this guy?

[00:09:06] I just saw a picture of him and I said Don McKay under him.

[00:09:08] This is what he...

[00:09:09] No, Don McKay looks hot.

[00:09:10] We need a producer.

[00:09:12] Yeah, just like on a car.

[00:09:14] No.

[00:09:15] He looks like this guy, but I guess this is just a...

[00:09:18] Is this a fat guy?

[00:09:19] This is just because he's Google and then related images just shows other fat bald guys.

[00:09:24] Oh, wait, was he fat?

[00:09:26] He was a fat boy?

[00:09:27] There was a fat go-to guy for a while that looked sort of like Newman.

[00:09:31] He had a beard.

[00:09:32] Yeah, there was another Newman.

[00:09:33] This is so fucking annoying that this isn't just coming up already because every second ruins the reference.

[00:09:40] Yeah, the reference is trash at this point.

[00:09:45] Oh, that guy looked fucked up, but I just, man, taserate yourself in the nuts.

[00:09:50] So hard that your heart gives out.

[00:09:52] He's honestly a hero's death if I've ever heard it.

[00:09:54] Oh, yeah, that's like the guy's storming the beaches.

[00:09:57] Give that guy the medal of honor, dude.

[00:10:00] Give it to him.

[00:10:01] I get...

[00:10:02] Trump said he's giving it to Bill Belichick on his way out.

[00:10:05] So sick.

[00:10:06] So sick.

[00:10:08] That's so awesome.

[00:10:10] Like Belichick having to accept that from Trump.

[00:10:14] Wouldn't it have been hilarious if they literally killed Mike Pence?

[00:10:18] Like, if Trump...

[00:10:19] They were trying to kill Mike Pence.

[00:10:22] He said, yeah, Trump's...

[00:10:23] He was a traitor.

[00:10:24] Yeah, he would have been so awesome.

[00:10:26] Pruitt Taylor Vince.

[00:10:28] Pruitt Taylor Vince.

[00:10:29] Oh, he found the guy.

[00:10:30] He was not cross-eyed, I guess, but yes, he was just cross-eyed in fucking like every movie.

[00:10:35] Oh, wait, is that the guy I'm thinking of?

[00:10:37] What are the movies that he's been in?

[00:10:42] This guy I'm thinking of had curly hairs effect.

[00:10:44] You know what he is?

[00:10:45] He's in Jacob's ladder.

[00:10:46] Never seen it.

[00:10:47] And he's cross-eyed in Jacob's ladder.

[00:10:48] Maybe I'm just thinking about the principle from Billy Madison, actually.

[00:10:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:52] The blob.

[00:10:53] He was like another guy.

[00:10:54] He also wanted to fuck Billy Madison.

[00:10:56] Yeah.

[00:10:57] Dude, that's a great movie.

[00:10:58] He was gay for Billy Madison.

[00:10:59] He was gay for Billy Madison.

[00:11:00] Yeah, I'm horny.

[00:11:01] Yeah.

[00:11:02] Yeah.

[00:11:03] Yeah.

[00:11:04] Yeah.

[00:11:05] He was a former wrestler.

[00:11:07] It is one of the only gay, horny, gay...

[00:11:10] It is one of the only baby movies that still holds up to this day.

[00:11:14] It's not a baby movie.

[00:11:15] No, but it's a movie I liked when I was a little fucking...

[00:11:17] Yeah, when you were 11 or...

[00:11:19] Oh, shit.

[00:11:20] Yeah.

[00:11:21] I think that that are no longer good.

[00:11:23] But Billy Madison just is perfect.

[00:11:25] You know what my shit was?

[00:11:26] There's a guy that looks like this guy there.

[00:11:28] There's people on social media literally asking, I don't mean to be rude, but it's just man

[00:11:32] mentally disabled.

[00:11:33] And they're like, no, he's got his ID badge on from work.

[00:11:37] And it's like...

[00:11:38] Oh, that guy.

[00:11:39] That's what retarded people do.

[00:11:40] He left.

[00:11:41] Yeah, yeah.

[00:11:42] I'm a retarded guy with a hundred percent wear.

[00:11:43] He's not a uniform.

[00:11:44] A non-retarded person takes their ID badge off when they leave work.

[00:11:48] He's got his keys around his neck.

[00:11:50] Yeah, it wasn't like a tech guy too.

[00:11:52] The guy wandering around town with his McDonald's apron on.

[00:11:56] That man is retarded.

[00:11:59] That was not...

[00:12:01] Yeah.

[00:12:02] A guy who accidentally showers in his grocery store polo, that guy cannot read.

[00:12:07] The guy that doesn't understand that once you get to paycheck, you're not supposed to continue

[00:12:11] looking for carts to stack.

[00:12:13] Is the mentally disabled man.

[00:12:16] There's such hard work.

[00:12:18] No, it's like, and that...

[00:12:20] Well, then of course this has to be an FBI entrapment plot.

[00:12:24] If there's that many retarded people there...

[00:12:26] Because retards were the bread and butter of these guys.

[00:12:29] Oh, yeah, especially post-9-11.

[00:12:31] They got every Muslim retard is in a black side.

[00:12:34] Everybody thinks that the state department is their primary concern is insurrectionists.

[00:12:39] And then first and foremost leftist insurrectionists.

[00:12:44] But there's a much simpler way to think about it.

[00:12:47] If you understand that the CIA and all of these intelligence agencies are the smartest people

[00:12:53] in the world.

[00:12:54] That's why it's called intelligence.

[00:12:55] That's where they get them.

[00:12:56] They recruit the smartest people, you know, they identify as...

[00:12:59] Queens gambit type bitches.

[00:13:00] And they get the smartest people in the world to work there.

[00:13:03] And it's like, well, okay, what's the natural enemy of the genius?

[00:13:06] The retard.

[00:13:07] The retard.

[00:13:08] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:09] The scorpion in the frog.

[00:13:11] The scorpion in the...

[00:13:12] The retard in the intelligence channels.

[00:13:14] The genius scorpion versus the down syndrome frog.

[00:13:19] Genius chimpanzee versus the down syndrome frog.

[00:13:25] And so eliminating retards is the primary concern of these people.

[00:13:30] So they all have all of us middle-brained folks trapped in this illusion of the being about

[00:13:35] ideology.

[00:13:36] We're pawns in this war against the intelligence.

[00:13:39] Oh, they're trying to do like a eugenics.

[00:13:40] It's basically like...

[00:13:45] So we think it's...

[00:13:46] We thought post-World War II was fucking communism versus America and the...

[00:13:51] ...all these client states and all these proxy wars.

[00:13:53] We are the proxy between retards and the smart people.

[00:13:56] The reality is this is that being so intelligent that you're a fucking loser is an unsympathetic

[00:14:01] problem.

[00:14:02] No one feels bad for those people, hence Columbine.

[00:14:04] Yeah, that's true.

[00:14:05] Being a retards.

[00:14:06] Yeah, they were geniuses.

[00:14:07] Really?

[00:14:08] Well, yeah, of course they were.

[00:14:11] They liked Maryland.

[00:14:12] They liked Maryland man.

[00:14:13] The play video games, they liked Maryland man.

[00:14:16] Yeah, they were geniuses.

[00:14:18] So the other end of the spectrum though is if you're retarded, everybody feels bad for

[00:14:23] you and everybody likes you.

[00:14:25] And the genius is they're trying to win over the pathos of the Western minds so that you

[00:14:34] feel bad for intelligent people because that's the last key in the puzzle for them being

[00:14:38] able to have complete total control over the population.

[00:14:41] Is that why Pete Buttigieg got that haircut that made him look retarded after he lost?

[00:14:45] Exactly.

[00:14:46] He's trying to...

[00:14:47] He's going deep like a coward.

[00:14:48] That buzz cut made him look like a fucking mom.

[00:14:50] The only picture we see of him after the election is him and target buying candy.

[00:14:54] That's true.

[00:14:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:56] Shit, God.

[00:14:57] It's so pathetic.

[00:14:58] They're so powerful, dude.

[00:14:59] Yeah.

[00:15:00] They know what'll fucking help.

[00:15:02] That's why this...

[00:15:04] So we're supposed to believe that this picture of Kamala was leaked, that they published the

[00:15:09] wrong vote cover by accident that she wasn't supposed to be wearing dressed like a fucking

[00:15:14] teen-nic 2002 cast member.

[00:15:19] Yeah, yeah.

[00:15:20] A correspondent at the Kids Choice Awards with a converse and a blazer on.

[00:15:24] They're going to convince you that Kamala is retarded.

[00:15:27] Oh, I'm trying to take...

[00:15:29] They're trying to take being retarded.

[00:15:32] I'm trying to get it away from Donald Trump.

[00:15:33] Well, first of all, Joe Biden's got that on lock.

[00:15:36] It's so true.

[00:15:37] Donald Trump was the king.

[00:15:39] The retard king.

[00:15:40] He was the retard king.

[00:15:41] He was one of the dumbest people of all time.

[00:15:44] But he was so funny.

[00:15:45] Kamala's going to go on sway in the morning and they're going to be like, have you ever

[00:15:48] eaten candy?

[00:15:49] She's like, of course.

[00:15:50] I used to eat candy all the time.

[00:15:51] I have to mix for breakfast.

[00:15:52] They're like, what's your favorite candy?

[00:15:53] And she's going to say, two-pack.

[00:15:56] Yeah.

[00:15:57] Is there a retarded version of the movie?

[00:16:01] Is there a retarded version of the breakfast club that she could go on?

[00:16:05] Yeah.

[00:16:06] It's the Brekmano jumper podcast.

[00:16:08] The Lunchables Club.

[00:16:10] The Lunchables Club.

[00:16:11] Is the breakfast club, but they're just having the marshmallows for Lucky Charms.

[00:16:16] That's the same mean teacher.

[00:16:18] All of you retards and they learn anything.

[00:16:20] And now in here, your ass is mine.

[00:16:24] The autistic, the down syndrome, the fetal alcohol.

[00:16:30] The emotionally disturbed, but regular one.

[00:16:33] Yeah.

[00:16:34] The kid who probably should just be an Esau, but they didn't bother figuring it out.

[00:16:38] The very smart Mexican child who can't speak English, but understands what's going on

[00:16:44] intuitively.

[00:16:45] Just Bolivian and already works as a construction lawyer.

[00:16:48] It is a sport of family of seven.

[00:16:54] Special education.

[00:16:55] Did I ever tell a story about my friend, my best friend growing up, his brother was one

[00:17:02] of the dumbest guys I've ever met in my life.

[00:17:06] And he, I was like visiting, they were trying to see if I, like every like Greek kid, because

[00:17:14] we had such a big immigrant population of my school was like Greeks and Latin Americans.

[00:17:19] When you're in kindergarten, they would just take you to Esau and just be like, do you

[00:17:25] need to go here?

[00:17:26] And I went and I was like, they're like, oh, no.

[00:17:28] Just say yes, dude.

[00:17:29] No, but that's the thing that no, except my friend's older brother said yes, he could

[00:17:34] not speak Greek.

[00:17:36] He was just stupid as shit.

[00:17:37] And he was having the time of his life.

[00:17:39] He was the smartest guy in Esau.

[00:17:42] Yeah.

[00:17:43] And I went and started the song.

[00:17:44] I was like, why the fuck are you here?

[00:17:45] The dumbest guy you know, it sounds like the smart guys are so easy.

[00:17:48] He really is.

[00:17:50] He was, he was like, fuck that, dude.

[00:17:52] I'm going to be the king here.

[00:17:54] And they're like, wow, you're really picking up English fast.

[00:17:58] That's no other language.

[00:18:01] He's Fisher Price.

[00:18:03] Yeah.

[00:18:04] He's also fat as shit.

[00:18:07] Salute to him though.

[00:18:10] Yeah.

[00:18:11] It's Fisher Price, right?

[00:18:13] I'm having like, yeah, it is.

[00:18:15] Yeah.

[00:18:16] Mm hmm.

[00:18:17] Fisher Price and then Oshkosh, you guys ever have the overalls?

[00:18:21] What if Kevin Spacey was the reason I'm a lesser that boy?

[00:18:24] I was because I'm mentally retarded.

[00:18:26] That would be the next step.

[00:18:27] You may not think of me because of my southern flair.

[00:18:33] Did he put out another video?

[00:18:36] He did on Christmas is annual Christmas video.

[00:18:39] He's lost the juice.

[00:18:41] He's lost the juice.

[00:18:42] That used to be must see TV.

[00:18:45] And it was still good.

[00:18:47] He started in character in the house of cards character and then he dropped it and then he

[00:18:51] did an anti suicide PS.

[00:18:53] We have a new show coming out called House of Tods where people from the Ronald McDonald

[00:19:00] house take over the gun.

[00:19:02] You're not retarded at the Ronald McDonald house, right?

[00:19:04] Isn't that what the Ronald McDonald house was?

[00:19:05] No, I think it's kids that are dying.

[00:19:08] I think it's like families of...

[00:19:10] I just assumed it was retarded because the clown was in charge.

[00:19:13] No, I think it's children's families that are dying of cancer.

[00:19:17] Yeah.

[00:19:18] And they can't afford to like rent it.

[00:19:19] They're just getting them cheeseburgers.

[00:19:21] No.

[00:19:22] Yeah.

[00:19:23] It is weird that they call it the Ronald McDonald house because you'd think it'd be way more

[00:19:27] fun than that.

[00:19:28] The vibes must be so off compared to like a bouncy house.

[00:19:33] They probably have a ball pit and stuff like this.

[00:19:36] Yeah, there's a fucking guy crying.

[00:19:38] Were you at the bottom of the ball pit kid?

[00:19:41] No, in fact I don't even remember going.

[00:19:43] I mean I've obviously would go in the ball pit.

[00:19:45] But do you remember those free kids that would just sit in the bottom and then just like be

[00:19:49] like, they'd be like, and a condo attack.

[00:19:51] I wouldn't sit in the bottom but the bottom tantalized.

[00:19:54] I would weigh more into navigating the tubes and then ultimately getting into a fist fight

[00:19:59] in one of the junctions.

[00:20:00] Yeah, yeah.

[00:20:01] The junctions are fucking wild bro.

[00:20:03] You're getting into a juby.

[00:20:04] When four tubes come together dude.

[00:20:06] And then it just smelt like it always smelled like other people's shoes.

[00:20:10] Yeah, yeah.

[00:20:11] And then just beating the fuck out of a kid in one of those junctions and then coming

[00:20:15] out of the other end and they'll never catch it.

[00:20:17] What a little piece of shit.

[00:20:21] Just some fucking just completely sheltered kid.

[00:20:25] It was his first time in the fucking tunnels.

[00:20:27] Welcome to your little feral ass.

[00:20:28] Just wailing on some little Chinese guy.

[00:20:31] Nah, I mean half the time other kids would start.

[00:20:33] That's the thing as I miss being a kid is you could find other like violent kids.

[00:20:37] That's true.

[00:20:38] That's true.

[00:20:39] Kids are so severe.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41] Yeah, I never got I don't think I got into too many altercations in the tubes but I did

[00:20:46] love the bottom did thrill me but I was too I couldn't stay too long down there.

[00:20:51] It wasn't scary.

[00:20:52] It was scary but I loved it.

[00:20:54] It was yeah.

[00:20:55] I don't remember them being that deep though.

[00:20:57] When you're a little bit in your small ass shit.

[00:20:59] Yeah but I don't recall being it simulated the sense of drowning I think for me or maybe

[00:21:06] I had like a I'm a little claustrophobic.

[00:21:08] That's what you think because it's yeah I do feel like I was a little claustrophobic.

[00:21:12] I was never fully at ease in those tubes.

[00:21:14] Yeah, that's right.

[00:21:15] They fucked me up a little bit and the idea that some people could like were so comfortable

[00:21:20] and they're like some kids are just hanging out like you'd go buy a junction and it would

[00:21:24] be like a little shanty town sometimes.

[00:21:26] I feel like I now am missing those tubes greatly.

[00:21:29] Yeah.

[00:21:30] I would love to just exist in a world of those tubes.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:34] Well that's what you that's what you would imagine you're like damn this is the world

[00:21:37] that you'd be like I got to have my own little kingdom.

[00:21:39] Yeah.

[00:21:40] It's like kind of like Reese that show recess.

[00:21:42] Imagine the tubes from Discovery Zone but you can bring a gun and awesome.

[00:21:46] Yep.

[00:21:47] Make the tubes a little bigger you know let's make them double three three times this time.

[00:21:51] Imagine if you're going to the tube and then you'd go the wrong way and then suddenly you're

[00:21:54] in a junction you're being robbed at gunpoint.

[00:21:57] Yeah.

[00:21:58] You're the six year olds.

[00:21:59] That would be awesome.

[00:22:00] Yeah that that's like a very post-apocalyptic thought that that's just the world that we

[00:22:07] will always have it.

[00:22:08] Yeah I felt like that some kind of little post-apocalyptic type shit.

[00:22:12] Yeah.

[00:22:13] I always I mean I don't know.

[00:22:14] Well we're all like chaos.

[00:22:16] Probably what it was like to be in the Viet Cong.

[00:22:18] I had a recurring fantasy when I was a kid that I had access to some kind of underground

[00:22:24] tunnel that went to a room like a panic room that had monitors that I could launch missiles.

[00:22:32] That's awesome.

[00:22:33] Yeah.

[00:22:34] The monitor situation is so good.

[00:22:35] I was like why would a six year old need that.

[00:22:38] You know what I had you know what I thought I got to go to war.

[00:22:41] Yeah.

[00:22:42] Somebody who called me gay.

[00:22:44] Yeah.

[00:22:45] I'm a less did you.

[00:22:48] What I always dreamed of was an underwater layer.

[00:22:52] I wanted to have a fucking submarine.

[00:22:53] Like a manatee.

[00:22:54] Like no.

[00:22:55] Stop with no.

[00:22:56] Like a mermaid.

[00:22:57] Imagine himself accidentally wandering into the Everglades.

[00:23:01] No.

[00:23:02] Getting hit by a motorboat.

[00:23:03] No I'm not a manatee.

[00:23:05] I am a man with a big ass submarine.

[00:23:08] No it's not.

[00:23:09] And also a kingdom underwater.

[00:23:10] People love manatees.

[00:23:11] I'm not a manatee.

[00:23:13] Stop just spinning down.

[00:23:15] Okay that part of being on land.

[00:23:18] On land.

[00:23:19] He's so dunked in the head by a jet ski.

[00:23:21] No no no.

[00:23:23] I'm a man with a nice underwater layer.

[00:23:25] Almost like Atlantis.

[00:23:27] But it was like two.

[00:23:28] Like a bubble.

[00:23:29] In fact it was bubble.

[00:23:30] Yeah.

[00:23:31] Yeah.

[00:23:32] Like a lot of bubbles.

[00:23:33] But I did a lot of traveling.

[00:23:35] I would when I was a little kid I would imagine to go to sleep that I was driving across this

[00:23:40] giant ocean with my little submarine.

[00:23:43] Oh that's cool.

[00:23:44] That was like a fucking that was a recur.

[00:23:46] That's the kind of fantasy that I had when I was a kid.

[00:23:49] We all live in the Jellos.

[00:23:51] Jellos.

[00:23:52] Jellos.

[00:23:53] Jellos.

[00:23:54] Jellos.

[00:23:55] Jellos.

[00:23:56] Jellos.

[00:23:57] Oh fuck dude.

[00:23:58] Yeah I remember in a kids magazine I read about a hotel that was in one of those bubbles.

[00:24:03] Oh shit.

[00:24:04] Underwater you could stay overnight.

[00:24:06] See to me that was really cool.

[00:24:09] To me it was something what I desire is not it's not even possible it's science fiction.

[00:24:15] Yeah.

[00:24:16] And to even have a fake ass little facsimile or whatever of it.

[00:24:19] We have a read 20,000 weeks.

[00:24:21] That's a what's it called?

[00:24:22] A facsimile.

[00:24:23] A facsimile.

[00:24:24] A facsimile could be the way you say it as well.

[00:24:28] See that is you know what I'm glad you pointed that out.

[00:24:31] I'm gonna stop on this.

[00:24:32] Because this is an example.

[00:24:34] Why don't you go and give a shit.

[00:24:36] And I'm about to explain right now because he just got it wrong because I got it wrong

[00:24:41] out of good faith.

[00:24:42] I sometimes get it wrong.

[00:24:43] Out of good faith.

[00:24:44] I'm a good faith.

[00:24:45] And we bought you as a substitute for actually coming up with a joke.

[00:24:48] I get it I know but sometimes I do get it wrong.

[00:24:51] No you don't.

[00:24:52] You know every time.

[00:24:53] No well I just even when you do and then even when you do what's this little rye smile

[00:24:58] don't tend true.

[00:25:00] I know his name.

[00:25:02] Anyway I would like to go into that room though.

[00:25:08] I would now as an adult.

[00:25:10] Understanding that my desires are probably never gonna happen to be the king of an underwater

[00:25:15] kingdom.

[00:25:16] Yeah.

[00:25:17] I would go to the underwater hotel and check it out.

[00:25:18] Underwater shaped rules.

[00:25:19] Do you remember the Cruz and Exotica level that was of course.

[00:25:23] Underwater.

[00:25:24] Yep.

[00:25:25] And of course you could forget Mario the underwater the water world.

[00:25:27] Yeah but you had to swim around him and I hate I hate all the swimming shit.

[00:25:31] I don't mind the swimming.

[00:25:32] The swimming like nauseated me.

[00:25:34] I hate that.

[00:25:35] Nick you should become a fish tank guy.

[00:25:38] I should.

[00:25:39] Yeah that actually would be cool.

[00:25:40] That makes sense to me.

[00:25:41] That would be cool.

[00:25:42] You pivoting to that.

[00:25:43] I should get a full like navy.

[00:25:45] Shit should I get a tank.

[00:25:47] Outfit.

[00:25:48] Yeah.

[00:25:49] And just walk around my apartment.

[00:25:51] Like a like a fucking bio shock guy.

[00:25:55] Oh with the dome and everything.

[00:25:57] Bio shock was such a great game.

[00:25:59] You're gonna talk about underwater worlds that are cool.

[00:26:02] Maybe I should play.

[00:26:03] That game blew my I mean it might never.

[00:26:06] Now when that game came out the first time it like because I also didn't play video games

[00:26:10] for like 10 years prior maybe.

[00:26:12] I just stopped when I was like 13 or something and then a friend of mine like had an Xbox

[00:26:18] and showed me bio shot.

[00:26:20] Nice.

[00:26:21] I was like this is fucking this is amazing.

[00:26:23] Hell yeah.

[00:26:24] Yeah.

[00:26:25] Damn I want to be underwater now.

[00:26:26] Yeah.

[00:26:27] The other thing I love to do is get fucked up by waves.

[00:26:31] You loved it.

[00:26:32] I love getting fucked up by waves.

[00:26:34] I still do more manatee.

[00:26:35] No I'm not manatee.

[00:26:37] I'm gonna get you out on that board this song.

[00:26:39] No it's not about that.

[00:26:40] It's about jumping into the wave and then letting the fucking currents have their way

[00:26:43] with you.

[00:26:44] Sort of.

[00:26:45] No.

[00:26:46] I got a I got a winter graceful man a beluga man a graceful human being.

[00:26:53] You can just come out combined.

[00:26:55] I can fucking the two the two species that has a foot in both worlds and I am fibby and

[00:27:00] more than a fucking beluga whale.

[00:27:03] I got a winter wetsuit with the hood and booties and stuff.

[00:27:06] Are you gonna go surfing?

[00:27:08] Yeah because the swells are better.

[00:27:10] You're not going.

[00:27:13] I know but I haven't.

[00:27:15] So I could.

[00:27:18] You never will.

[00:27:19] It does really scare me to go in the winter.

[00:27:23] It's just how cold it seems but the wetsuits are amazing the technology wouldn't believe

[00:27:28] it.

[00:27:29] Your warm as fuck but your face is cold.

[00:27:31] Your face gets cold be put gloves and you have a hood and the booties and stuff.

[00:27:38] Pretty sick dude.

[00:27:39] I don't see my hollow mind.

[00:27:40] I don't like it to be sick at all.

[00:27:43] Alright man.

[00:27:44] I think that I think have you do you follow action brawnson on Instagram?

[00:27:50] I fell of fat fat man.

[00:27:53] He's he's a big boogie boarder.

[00:27:56] Are you serious?

[00:27:57] He's been going out.

[00:27:58] Are you fucking serious?

[00:27:59] I love the boogie board.

[00:28:00] See that's a problem man.

[00:28:01] Action brawnson takes up a little too much of the stuff I love to do in the pop culture.

[00:28:05] He is a food travel show.

[00:28:06] Food travel show completely blocking me completely blocking me show business wise.

[00:28:12] Yeah your hip hop career also.

[00:28:14] My hip hop career you know I'm fucking rapping.

[00:28:16] Is that what I'm being is in the micarena?

[00:28:20] Yeah dude whatever.

[00:28:21] Damn I miss thinking about the underwater layer I used to dream about.

[00:28:27] Because I also we had bunk beds me and my brothers.

[00:28:31] There was a bunk bed and then there was a little other bed in the corner.

[00:28:34] There was three of us in a room and I had the full bunk bed underneath and had it had

[00:28:40] like a little like the ladder.

[00:28:41] It was like a metal ladder.

[00:28:42] It was right at the height where it could be like a fucking steering wheel.

[00:28:46] So my fucking penis and fuck me.

[00:28:48] But now I lost it.

[00:28:49] I don't remember what it was.

[00:28:50] So my fucking penis.

[00:28:51] I'm a fucking micarena.

[00:28:52] Right.

[00:28:53] Was that it?

[00:28:54] So my fucking penis.

[00:28:55] So my fucking penis.

[00:28:56] I'm a fucking penis.

[00:28:57] I'm a fucking micarena.

[00:28:58] That's it.

[00:28:59] So my penis.

[00:29:00] What?

[00:29:01] I'm a faggot.

[00:29:02] I used to love.

[00:29:03] So my fucking penis.

[00:29:04] I'm a fucking micarena.

[00:29:05] I used to love cracking the macarena dude.

[00:29:08] That was my shit.

[00:29:09] I used to.

[00:29:10] I was just driving them wild at the Greek festival doing a dance.

[00:29:14] Like some kind of majestic, uh, uh, uh, on land man.

[00:29:18] No, that's like a balloon.

[00:29:19] First of all, there's no on land version of a man.

[00:29:23] There's some sort of land based beluga manatee.

[00:29:27] Manatees addicted to dance.

[00:29:29] No, it's like a walrus.

[00:29:32] A walrus?

[00:29:33] They said an on land thing.

[00:29:34] They go on the land and they go on the sea.

[00:29:37] No.

[00:29:38] I'm willing to say I'm a walrus or a manatee only in the water.

[00:29:42] In land, I become my beautiful graceful self.

[00:29:46] On water, they're graceful and gorgeous.

[00:29:48] You know walrus is self suck.

[00:29:50] It's awesome.

[00:29:51] They've got massive cocks.

[00:29:52] And there's like, I am actually a walrus.

[00:29:54] Yeah.

[00:29:55] They're still stuck.

[00:29:56] I actually am.

[00:29:57] It's so fun.

[00:29:58] You can go on YouTube on second cock.

[00:30:01] YouTube, you can't show it and file me on the road.

[00:30:04] I'm actually actually a walrus.

[00:30:06] Yeah.

[00:30:07] There's a video that I saw on YouTube once of like a family.

[00:30:10] I like to see world aquarium.

[00:30:11] Yes.

[00:30:12] That's a classic.

[00:30:13] I want to make bully tarot cards.

[00:30:14] I'll just go hold that.

[00:30:15] Stop looking.

[00:30:16] Don't look.

[00:30:17] They said tarot cards and you bring people in and say, oh, the Prince of Faggots.

[00:30:21] This is you.

[00:30:24] Wow.

[00:30:25] The minister of having a little penis.

[00:30:28] No, the tiny dick and small balls of the night.

[00:30:35] The symphony of the night.

[00:30:36] The symphony of busting way too fast.

[00:30:39] The Castlevania, you are a bitch.

[00:30:44] The Crimson cunt.

[00:30:45] Wow.

[00:30:46] Damn, I don't know why, but I just got a hankering for dipping some McDonald's fries in the

[00:30:51] sweet and sour.

[00:30:52] Because we were talking about fucking the bubbles and shit.

[00:30:55] We were talking about the hospital for sick kids.

[00:30:59] Oh, the McDonald's.

[00:31:00] We were talking about Ronald McDonald's.

[00:31:01] We were also talking about the obstacle course, which is a real Mc...

[00:31:03] That's where I...

[00:31:04] That was my tube zone.

[00:31:05] McDonald's on Easter night.

[00:31:06] I was thinking of Chuck E. Cheese.

[00:31:08] Interesting.

[00:31:09] See, there was a McDonald's that I went to that was not...

[00:31:14] You know how it's like their franchises?

[00:31:16] This McDonald's sold like spaghetti.

[00:31:18] They had like a bunch of bullshit.

[00:31:19] It was on Easter night.

[00:31:20] It was like a booth.

[00:31:21] Yeah, and they had a huge bump.

[00:31:23] Like a huge Chuck E. Cheese level.

[00:31:26] I don't remember exactly where it was now, but I think it was on Easter night having

[00:31:30] you.

[00:31:31] And they just were not following...

[00:31:33] Like everything cost a different price.

[00:31:34] I don't really go to McDonald's a lot as a kid.

[00:31:36] That was our go-to McDonald's.

[00:31:38] I think every time there was a place we ate it was like...

[00:31:40] My cousin was around somewhere.

[00:31:41] My mom had an errand to run.

[00:31:43] My dad liked Wendy's.

[00:31:44] Oh, interesting.

[00:31:45] And so we would go to Wendy's and I remember thinking Wendy's was like sophisticated.

[00:31:49] Wendy's was always exotic to me.

[00:31:51] I was like, whoa, Wendy's.

[00:31:53] That's where it was.

[00:31:54] Yeah, because they baked potatoes.

[00:31:56] No, I'm...

[00:31:57] I can't be seen in McDonald's.

[00:31:59] We're not going to Wendy's.

[00:32:00] There's a girl I would have sex with.

[00:32:03] Like...

[00:32:04] On the cover.

[00:32:06] And Burger King was the fucking bullshit of all.

[00:32:08] Yeah, Burger King is there.

[00:32:09] I never understood what was going on with Wendy's because it's like there's the pippy

[00:32:12] long stocking is the math.

[00:32:13] I thought it was pippy long stocking as a kid.

[00:32:16] I didn't realize Wendy was her own entity.

[00:32:18] That's another fictional character I wanted some pussy from.

[00:32:20] And then Eddie Boop, her father is Dave Thomas who I also thought was Bob Evans.

[00:32:25] Interesting.

[00:32:26] I didn't know what Bob Evans was.

[00:32:28] Bob Evans is just another restaurant.

[00:32:30] I know now at the time I had no idea.

[00:32:31] As a child, I did not know that Bob Evans was not Dave Thomas.

[00:32:35] I looked at Dave Thomas and I thought he was the same guy.

[00:32:38] That's probably also Bob Evans.

[00:32:40] Wait, Wendy's Bob or Dave Thomas' daughter?

[00:32:44] His cartoon daughter.

[00:32:46] Imagine, Stephen Realdon?

[00:32:48] I think he had a Realdon.

[00:32:50] No, he didn't.

[00:32:51] Imagine having a...

[00:32:52] He didn't?

[00:32:53] He just being psychotic and you're like, I'm starting a restaurant about my fictional

[00:32:55] cartoon daughter.

[00:32:56] Damn.

[00:32:57] That's fucking weird, actually.

[00:32:59] Fuck Dave Thomas for that one.

[00:33:01] He was an orphan.

[00:33:02] Really?

[00:33:03] And then he...

[00:33:04] Well, he's getting pushed.

[00:33:05] The thing was his daughter was...

[00:33:06] I think he probably did.

[00:33:07] His daughter was killed when he was drunk and he was in the kitchen trying to make hamburgers.

[00:33:13] Square it's where it was.

[00:33:14] And he was trash and he started a fire and it killed his family.

[00:33:18] And he said, if only there would be a place that I could have driven to to get a hamburger.

[00:33:23] My family would still be alive.

[00:33:24] So the whole thing started off as like an anti-drinking and cooking at home campaign.

[00:33:29] Which kills a lot of people.

[00:33:30] As we all know, getting drunk.

[00:33:32] The amount of...

[00:33:33] If they just repealed these ridiculous anti-drunk driving laws.

[00:33:36] Yeah.

[00:33:37] And we could just cut back the...

[00:33:39] Get the harmful harm.

[00:33:40] The harmful regulation that's killing people like Dave Thomas' family.

[00:33:45] Then we could just drive to Wendy's.

[00:33:47] That's why some people don't understand that all the society's problems are incredibly

[00:33:51] simple.

[00:33:52] You just make it so that it's the things I like.

[00:33:54] That's true.

[00:33:55] That's absolutely true.

[00:33:57] And anybody who says otherwise should be putting fucking jibs.

[00:33:59] They should die.

[00:34:01] They should be beaten to death by the police.

[00:34:03] Well, step one, they lose their job.

[00:34:04] They should be beaten to death by the police.

[00:34:06] And then for the instance of the police or ever against me in that case, the police should

[00:34:10] be beaten to death by them.

[00:34:11] Yes.

[00:34:12] Yes.

[00:34:13] That's what we call detente.

[00:34:15] My enemies in the police, I keep them at detente.

[00:34:18] And I am free and clear to do whatever the fuck I want.

[00:34:23] To the teeth.

[00:34:24] That's what that means.

[00:34:25] Yes, sir.

[00:34:27] Because the police are the top teeth, my enemies are the lower teeth.

[00:34:31] They bite down on each other and not on me.

[00:34:34] Yeah.

[00:34:35] Detente.

[00:34:36] You cook it just before it's finished.

[00:34:38] Detente.

[00:34:39] Yeah.

[00:34:40] Alde Tante.

[00:34:42] By the way, if you don't get your pasta al dente, don't fucking talk to me.

[00:34:47] Who doesn't though?

[00:34:48] Who's like, you know what I like?

[00:34:49] A nice slimy group.

[00:34:50] Some people do.

[00:34:51] Some people do.

[00:34:52] You know what I did?

[00:34:53] I feel like old people.

[00:34:54] I made a bunch of overcook their pasta.

[00:34:56] I made a bunch of shredded chicken this week, but I got the cheapest chicken breast.

[00:34:59] I could find some of the bones in it.

[00:35:01] But I pressure cooked that shit for two hours.

[00:35:03] So the bone's just fucking melted.

[00:35:05] Yeah, yeah.

[00:35:06] Nice.

[00:35:07] Nice mirror.

[00:35:08] We love that little gooey chicken.

[00:35:11] Chicken fudge fudge.

[00:35:12] You know what we've been making in my house is cow mung guy.

[00:35:18] Yeah.

[00:35:19] What's the...

[00:35:20] It's where they hold the guy down and they cow him all over.

[00:35:22] Yeah, we cow him all over.

[00:35:24] Is it Thai?

[00:35:25] Thai guys asshole.

[00:35:26] We've been doing this.

[00:35:27] We've been doing this.

[00:35:28] We cow mung guy.

[00:35:29] We've been doing cow mung guy.

[00:35:30] We're cow mung guy.

[00:35:31] We're cow mung guy.

[00:35:32] We're cow mung guy.

[00:35:33] Come on his face.

[00:35:34] Come on his face.

[00:35:35] And then we lick it off.

[00:35:37] Yeah, you think I'm being racist towards Asians, but it turns out it's fresh.

[00:35:41] Come on guy.

[00:35:42] And listen guy, we have to come on your ass.

[00:35:45] You're pussy.

[00:35:46] Which is your whole.

[00:35:49] It's just you fucking boil chicken.

[00:35:51] You fucking...

[00:35:52] You get the broth going off that bitch.

[00:35:55] You make a little cucumber soup.

[00:35:56] You take a woman on a date to a Japanese restaurant.

[00:35:59] You know.

[00:36:00] You're trying to impress her and then you just ask her, do you have any Fuku Niggu?

[00:36:05] I just make up something that's a slur.

[00:36:07] That sounds fun.

[00:36:09] In French or Japanese?

[00:36:10] In Japanese.

[00:36:11] Okay.

[00:36:12] I mean, I guess you could also do it in French.

[00:36:13] I thought you said French.

[00:36:14] Do you have any shuk my balls?

[00:36:15] Do you have any shuk my pussy?

[00:36:17] No, I don't know what that is.

[00:36:20] We went to niece last year.

[00:36:22] And then she's like, why?

[00:36:25] Wow.

[00:36:26] Yeah, that's right bitch.

[00:36:28] Just getting the head right there.

[00:36:32] Oh la la la.

[00:36:34] The waiter says.

[00:36:37] I was laughing the other day man.

[00:36:38] And he sucks my dick too.

[00:36:39] Like kind of like a milk toast white guy that any fuck's like a...

[00:36:45] Just like kind of do like a normal white guy, right?

[00:36:47] But he fucks a big fat girl.

[00:36:48] And then he's like talking in AAV while doing it.

[00:36:53] And she's like, why were you doing that?

[00:36:56] And he's like, I thought...

[00:36:58] I thought it went in room.

[00:37:03] I thought that's what he was like.

[00:37:07] Why would I like that?

[00:37:08] I was just worried about your experience.

[00:37:14] I thought you'd enjoy it.

[00:37:15] Well my dick isn't big.

[00:37:16] I figured I want to make a reel for you.

[00:37:19] I can't...

[00:37:23] Yeah, shawty.

[00:37:25] Come on, go ahead.

[00:37:27] Put your glasses back on there.

[00:37:29] Shout it.

[00:37:30] Go ahead.

[00:37:31] No hands with it.

[00:37:36] Eric, why are you talking like that?

[00:37:37] I thought I thought...

[00:37:38] That's what I'm so sorry.

[00:37:40] I was trying to meet you.

[00:37:42] I was trying to meet you.

[00:37:44] I thought I thought you would like that.

[00:37:51] Because you're a big fat bitch.

[00:37:54] Because you're a huge baby.

[00:37:57] You're a juicy pig.

[00:38:00] You're a juicy rat.

[00:38:02] You're a fat juicy, suckle pig and daddy's.

[00:38:05] I got a taste for bacon.

[00:38:06] You're a suckling fat fat son.

[00:38:09] You're a big fat ain't the fat one, go ahead.

[00:38:12] This is Jeff Goldlumina in a D-Rag.

[00:38:14] Okay, now why are you doing a Jeff Goldlum?

[00:38:18] I don't know.

[00:38:20] Because...

[00:38:21] I don't know where this is going.

[00:38:25] I do.

[00:38:26] But when I get nervous...

[00:38:28] I'm worried about you getting me fired for men.

[00:38:32] I'm hoping you'll blame it on Jeff Goldlum.

[00:38:36] Damn.

[00:38:37] Shout out to Jeff.

[00:38:38] I hope he's doing okay through all this.

[00:38:44] Yeah, with all this craziness.

[00:38:46] With all this fucking...

[00:38:47] Listen, it's been a weird year.

[00:38:51] It has been quite foolish.

[00:38:53] Yeah.

[00:38:54] It has been quite motherfucking foolish.

[00:38:57] Damn.

[00:38:58] I hope that guy who shocked his balls is in heaven looking down and smiling.

[00:39:02] That's that rule.

[00:39:03] He's sitting right next to the same.

[00:39:05] I hope they come to my hood.

[00:39:07] Look at Dase yourself.

[00:39:09] I'm going to die.

[00:39:11] I mean, every time.

[00:39:13] No liberal war ever do anything anywhere close to that funny.

[00:39:20] That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

[00:39:23] You shocked yourself in the nuts so hard your fat ass heart came out and died.

[00:39:30] Why was your days or even like...

[00:39:37] Out and armed, ready to shock nuts?

[00:39:41] And what was it?

[00:39:43] It's also kind of slap sticky the way it happened.

[00:39:45] Something like fell and he was like, whoa.

[00:39:49] The taser fell or something.

[00:39:50] It's even funnier when you learn the details.

[00:39:53] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:39:56] Salute to that fucking guy.

[00:39:58] But at the same time, a dangerous insurrection.

[00:40:01] Yeah.

[00:40:02] That was like 9-11, too.

[00:40:04] It's simultaneously a collection of some of the biggest retards anyone's ever seen.

[00:40:11] And the greatest threat to our democracy.

[00:40:14] Yeah, that's true.

[00:40:15] It's ever existed.

[00:40:16] Yeah, fuck.

[00:40:17] Damn.

[00:40:18] It's got me honestly feeling a little bit better about the Civil War prospects.

[00:40:23] I feel like if I stay doing yoga, they have more guns, but a lot of them were a light

[00:40:28] march killed like four of them.

[00:40:31] Like, they were like three heart attacks.

[00:40:34] Yeah, well, that was from the bad acid that was going around.

[00:40:38] Oh, really?

[00:40:39] Yeah, they ate the brown stuff.

[00:40:40] They were all fucking nuts.

[00:40:41] They were tripping nuts.

[00:40:42] I would love to go around there and just be like derses.

[00:40:45] Oh, yeah.

[00:40:46] Beans, molly.

[00:40:47] We should have gone, dude.

[00:40:49] We should have done the episode from there.

[00:40:50] It was a Wednesday.

[00:40:51] We could have had a live app.

[00:40:53] Yeah, we could have done it on the field with aerial...

[00:40:56] We could have done it in Nancy Pelosi's office.

[00:40:58] That would have been so sick with that guy.

[00:41:00] I would have refused to leave.

[00:41:02] Apparently, they treated everyone with kid gloves.

[00:41:04] We could have just stayed and be like, excuse me?

[00:41:06] We have our podcast.

[00:41:07] We're doing our podcast.

[00:41:08] Yeah.

[00:41:09] If you could keep it down.

[00:41:10] We're journalists.

[00:41:11] We're doing our podcast.

[00:41:12] This is my press pass.

[00:41:13] We're doing a right wing fascist podcast in here.

[00:41:17] We will leave as soon as we're finished recording and I'm done taking a shit in Nancy Pelosi's

[00:41:21] desk.

[00:41:22] After we're done putting a tape or a touch in a stapler in our ass.

[00:41:25] I have to imagine the police allowing a guy to finish wiping.

[00:41:30] I'll be out in a second.

[00:41:33] No, I don't want to pinch it early because that's how then it smears.

[00:41:43] Who is aerial pink?

[00:41:45] He's a indie rock guy.

[00:41:47] Yeah, I saw that guy was there and then the guy who's in John's house.

[00:41:51] Cop killer was there.

[00:41:53] Yeah.

[00:41:54] He was he the guy who killed the cop?

[00:41:57] Well that would be the first person.

[00:41:59] You'd have to watch the FBI.

[00:42:00] Yeah.

[00:42:01] Could you be like, no sir, we know we've heard your songs.

[00:42:05] I was saying imagine so there's like a Trump rally in like two weeks, right?

[00:42:08] You know, Trump will just get on.

[00:42:10] Let's say he goes on Fox News just as if we're going to have another Trump rally wherever.

[00:42:15] And then the media spends like two weeks being like, this can't happen.

[00:42:19] This is dangerous.

[00:42:20] This is fucking like like like Nuremberg marches.

[00:42:24] We can't have this.

[00:42:25] It has to be stopped.

[00:42:27] And then a fucking like an ISIS guy drives a truck through it.

[00:42:31] That would blows it up.

[00:42:33] How fucking that would be great.

[00:42:35] That would be so funny.

[00:42:36] No one would know how to believe.

[00:42:37] That would be so funny.

[00:42:38] No one forgot about them.

[00:42:40] I think we'd be like, all right, well, I guess we're even now.

[00:42:43] We just go back to normal.

[00:42:44] I guess it cancels out.

[00:42:45] No one would know how to deal with it.

[00:42:48] You'd be like, ah, all right.

[00:42:50] But I says this, you get this one.

[00:42:51] I don't really know how to really left ourselves open for that.

[00:42:56] No, dude, that would be.

[00:43:00] Yeah, that would be pretty fucking hilarious.

[00:43:04] The what would be like it would be like a take standoff.

[00:43:08] I guarantee you Twitter would just go silent.

[00:43:10] Yeah, it would be like having a brain freeze.

[00:43:14] You'll be like just drinking a slurpee too fast.

[00:43:18] Yeah, I guess my take would be LOL.

[00:43:22] That's what I would say.

[00:43:25] ISIS, welcome to the Resistance.

[00:43:27] Welcome to the mother fucking Resistance.

[00:43:30] It is.

[00:43:31] I did see some tweets too where like I guess because like Pence refused to leave.

[00:43:34] It's like liberals on Twitter being like, wow, I really didn't think Mike Pence would

[00:43:38] emerge as the hero of this story.

[00:43:40] Oh, you fucking idiot.

[00:43:41] There was like a chance a drop was going to have that.

[00:43:46] Killed by retards.

[00:43:48] And now that was what it took for him to flip.

[00:43:51] You should cheer on.

[00:43:52] That would have been hysterical mentally retarded people hanging the vice.

[00:43:56] That would have been one of the funniest things of all time.

[00:43:59] It would be amazing.

[00:44:00] He's getting hanged by nerds rope.

[00:44:06] This is the biggest nerds rope we've ever seen.

[00:44:10] Just a new being tied by people that can't even tie their own shoes.

[00:44:13] I'd say velcroed news.

[00:44:15] Yeah.

[00:44:16] The only reason the only reason they ever thought the riot police were on their side

[00:44:26] is because they also wear.

[00:44:30] God damn that honestly would have been so funny.

[00:44:35] What could Trump be even said if Pence ended up dead?

[00:44:39] Whoops.

[00:44:40] The only reason they hate LGBT people is because they tasted their rainbow and it didn't taste

[00:44:45] like this.

[00:44:46] It's like man.

[00:44:47] It tastes like.

[00:44:48] Oh, man.

[00:44:49] It tastes like.

[00:44:50] Oh, just tastes like Uncle Jimmy.

[00:44:52] God damn dude.

[00:44:53] That would have been so awesome.

[00:45:01] I just, you know, I guess you're right at him.

[00:45:08] I guess I'm thinking he must be bummed out right now.

[00:45:12] He's probably so sad.

[00:45:13] He's probably not having a chill time.

[00:45:15] Yeah, and he can't even express himself online anymore.

[00:45:19] He could go on TV though, right?

[00:45:22] Yeah, I guess so.

[00:45:24] Shit is very hot right now.

[00:45:25] It is pretty hot.

[00:45:26] It's like when we bay had to go to Philly, he's got zero friends at this point.

[00:45:31] The only people that are still around is his family and he hates them.

[00:45:34] Isn't Ted Cruz still weirdly riding for him?

[00:45:37] Like Ted Cruz.

[00:45:40] He said my wife is a ugly bitch.

[00:45:43] Donald, you are a rat.

[00:45:44] What do you call him?

[00:45:45] Donald?

[00:45:46] That fucking video.

[00:45:47] Yeah, yeah.

[00:45:48] How dare you say anything about my wife Donald?

[00:45:50] Fucking.

[00:45:51] Yeah, he had a hold.

[00:45:55] He had to hold me back moment after Donald Trump said his wife was unfuckable.

[00:45:59] And then he just spent the last like four years sucking his cock.

[00:46:03] Oh my God.

[00:46:04] It's pretty funny.

[00:46:05] Yeah, that picture of him like phone banking for Trump.

[00:46:07] It's going to be so funny when Biden's like, all right, well, as a sign of unity, we

[00:46:12] have to give one of these Georgia seats back.

[00:46:14] They just don't do shit.

[00:46:17] We still don't get no one gets $2,000 checks.

[00:46:20] Well, which is still bullshit, by the way.

[00:46:23] What is one $2,000 check going to do?

[00:46:26] Well, I don't know more than 600, but it's still a little dinkard shit.

[00:46:31] Are people getting their $600 checks?

[00:46:33] Yeah, I think some people have begun getting them.

[00:46:37] Yeah, man.

[00:46:38] That's it's here's what you do.

[00:46:40] You buy a fucking coop with that.

[00:46:42] You flip it.

[00:46:43] You flip a coop.

[00:46:44] Yeah, flip a coop.

[00:46:45] Now you got fucking then you re up then you have six and you get podcasting equipment.

[00:46:50] You get podcasts and you do a week podcast saying the N word.

[00:46:56] Yeah, that's how it all starts.

[00:46:58] Oh, you do a weed pot.

[00:46:59] Is there a weed podcast?

[00:47:01] I'm sure now we're talking that will do their podcast describing like Terps and stuff.

[00:47:07] She's been like, yeah, dude, she gets me fucked up, bro.

[00:47:11] There are probably billions.

[00:47:12] There's probably so many.

[00:47:14] I would love to listen to them.

[00:47:15] I never will.

[00:47:16] Reviewing Tommy Chong Bongs.

[00:47:19] In a way, this is a weed podcast.

[00:47:21] Kind of.

[00:47:22] It's pure essence is that it is a weed pot.

[00:47:24] That is true.

[00:47:25] That is true.

[00:47:26] This is year one smoking weed.

[00:47:28] We just never grown up.

[00:47:30] We'll never leave this phase.

[00:47:32] Even we quit weed before we quit behaving this way.

[00:47:36] So weed alarm is like weed does permanent damage to your brain and children shouldn't

[00:47:41] be able to smoke it.

[00:47:42] And then you're like, what are you talking about?

[00:47:44] And then it's like, what if you could fuck wrong on my gums?

[00:47:47] Yeah.

[00:47:48] And then you're like, suck my fucking peanuts.

[00:47:50] I'm a gunner.

[00:47:51] And laugh.

[00:47:52] Yeah.

[00:47:53] For everyone at home, we laughed for about 15 minutes before this episode started.

[00:47:58] I feel like if I hadn't smoked weed as a teenager, I'd probably be playing chess at

[00:48:03] Harvard right now.

[00:48:04] Yeah, for sure.

[00:48:05] I'd be teaching chess at Harvard.

[00:48:08] I'd be.

[00:48:09] Yeah.

[00:48:10] I'd be a Yale doing this.

[00:48:11] I'd be presiding over a skull and bone ceremony.

[00:48:14] I'd be watching two rich fucking kids jack off in a coffin.

[00:48:17] Ah, yes.

[00:48:18] The queen today's lesson moving diagonally, but also front and back.

[00:48:27] Average fucking way.

[00:48:28] And my question is, why do I can't all the pieces do that?

[00:48:32] Why don't you write an essay?

[00:48:33] I thought about that.

[00:48:35] I'll be in the teachers lounge getting push swap from the bitches.

[00:48:39] You know the teachers.

[00:48:41] I'm going to spread a little brie under my foreskin and she won't be able to resist.

[00:48:45] I'm about to, Bruce, a new as they say in Paris.

[00:48:53] Welcome to Harvard.

[00:48:55] Welcome to fucking Harvard, kid.

[00:49:00] We're fucking gay over here.

[00:49:03] I went to Harvard.

[00:49:04] You can just walk in there and that's cool.

[00:49:06] Yeah, we bought it.

[00:49:07] We all went to Harvard.

[00:49:08] We went to the skull and burr or whatever.

[00:49:11] The comedy skull and bones.

[00:49:13] Yeah.

[00:49:14] Was that what it was?

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:16] This is a clubhouse.

[00:49:17] Wait, those guys were the lampoon guys.

[00:49:18] That was the lampoon.

[00:49:19] We didn't know where we were.

[00:49:21] We didn't fucking know.

[00:49:22] You thought we were just hanging out with them.

[00:49:24] I forgot, I guess at the time I knew that and I forgot until you guys said it right now.

[00:49:28] We told Stop it was the air in space.

[00:49:31] And I was like, where the fuck is the?

[00:49:32] We're losing dry ice cream.

[00:49:34] I want to eat the astronaut ice cream.

[00:49:36] I was fucking pumped to get the astronaut ice cream the first time I went and it was

[00:49:40] kind of dog shit.

[00:49:41] Yeah, it's not as good as real ice cream.

[00:49:43] Real ice cream.

[00:49:44] Crushed it.

[00:49:45] Yeah, being an astronaut is gay.

[00:49:48] They have gotten, they have, people have fucked in space though, right?

[00:49:51] Yeah, for some, they did an experiment.

[00:49:53] That's awesome.

[00:49:54] Yeah.

[00:49:55] That's pretty fucking cool.

[00:49:56] Yeah.

[00:49:57] Who fucked?

[00:49:58] Was it like a husband or wife?

[00:49:59] They got Alexis Texas.

[00:50:00] They collected Texas.

[00:50:01] They set her up there.

[00:50:02] They set her up there.

[00:50:03] The naked cowboy in Times Square.

[00:50:05] Yeah.

[00:50:06] I was thinking about getting like a full cowboy outfit, like Bandana, everything like real,

[00:50:09] but like a big fur coat, like a, like a Western cowboy.

[00:50:13] Sure.

[00:50:14] Like up in the, like with your dick out?

[00:50:16] Your dick is out.

[00:50:17] Yeah.

[00:50:18] I got you.

[00:50:19] I'm with, and you're the penis cowboy.

[00:50:20] Yeah.

[00:50:21] And you just roll up the Times Square.

[00:50:22] I like that.

[00:50:23] Cause he's not naked.

[00:50:24] He's not, he's got two layers of underwear.

[00:50:27] I'm pretty sure.

[00:50:28] Right.

[00:50:29] But then on this side, you know, we're doing it real well.

[00:50:31] Yeah.

[00:50:32] Cock all the way out from your peeking out on your buffalo skin.

[00:50:37] And then when the cops come to arrest me, I'm like, what happened?

[00:50:40] You're supposed to be on our side.

[00:50:43] Why are you killing?

[00:50:44] Now you're, yeah.

[00:50:45] Now nobody has your back.

[00:50:49] You lost black lives matter.

[00:50:50] You lost the man guys.

[00:50:51] And now you've lost the penis cow.

[00:50:54] The only person still in your corner.

[00:50:58] No, it is so fucking gay.

[00:51:01] How Democrats now are like, we actually love cops more.

[00:51:05] Cops are good.

[00:51:06] We just decided they're good now and we love that.

[00:51:09] God.

[00:51:10] Yeah.

[00:51:11] They're all summer saying that we needed to defund the police and get those motherfuckers

[00:51:16] money, man.

[00:51:18] Get me some fucking buy some, buy some bike lanes.

[00:51:23] Get more electric bikes.

[00:51:24] City bikes got those electric bikes.

[00:51:25] I wrote, I wrote those bitches over here.

[00:51:27] They should have Harley's dream.

[00:51:29] You wrote an electric bike over here.

[00:51:32] Yeah.

[00:51:33] Oh, cool.

[00:51:34] It's pretty nice.

[00:51:35] You don't have to pedal.

[00:51:36] Oh, so this whole time you've been saying I've been biking.

[00:51:38] First of all, you fucks.

[00:51:39] The city bikes are assisted bikes.

[00:51:41] You've been coming here in a fucking Mario car.

[00:51:44] No, you ride those fucking cocks.

[00:51:46] Okay.

[00:51:47] How about you motorcycling over?

[00:51:48] You fucking pricks take them from here to a story and tell me how easy it is.

[00:51:52] City bike out of business after all of the tires.

[00:51:55] No, they are not.

[00:51:57] I thought you said you've been biking over to do the show, but you've been.

[00:52:00] I have been biking.

[00:52:01] You fucking cocksiders.

[00:52:02] You had a motor.

[00:52:03] It's not you can't.

[00:52:04] It doesn't go if you don't fucking pedal.

[00:52:06] It just picks up in an uphill a little bit.

[00:52:08] It makes it an easier ride, but you're still pedaling most of the time unless you still

[00:52:12] have I was honestly impressed.

[00:52:14] Yeah, I was like, damn, that's a big rock.

[00:52:17] You fuck first of all, I've done it plenty of times.

[00:52:19] I used to fucking bike here like three summers ago.

[00:52:22] Yeah, you were.

[00:52:23] Okay.

[00:52:24] You fucking pricks before you run your mouths, take them from here to a story and back and

[00:52:29] then suck my fucking dick and tell me how it's the easiest.

[00:52:32] Well, I'll suck your damn dick, but I'm not going to ride that damn bike.

[00:52:35] Okay, fine.

[00:52:36] No, okay.

[00:52:38] So it helps you up a hill with a motor.

[00:52:41] Would I use a bet?

[00:52:42] Oh, how about I'm fucking should I drive my fucking car?

[00:52:44] Is that better?

[00:52:45] This is the problem with you fucking ass.

[00:52:47] You wrote it.

[00:52:48] You did it for the environment.

[00:52:49] He wrote his Harry and Davidson motor.

[00:52:51] Who's Harry and David Snacks?

[00:52:53] This is the fucking snack.

[00:52:56] Yeah, they do.

[00:52:57] That sounds good.

[00:52:59] That sounds good.

[00:53:00] This is the problem with the fucking pecans.

[00:53:02] This is the problem with the fucking naked cutie on this goddamn show.

[00:53:05] You're not going to you're not going to you're getting close, but you're not.

[00:53:10] Cadbury eggs.

[00:53:11] Those are good.

[00:53:12] Carmel salted caramel.

[00:53:13] I'm over here making little steps to improve my fucking life.

[00:53:18] Okay.

[00:53:19] Okay.

[00:53:20] I'm I'm all I fucking heard.

[00:53:21] I'm a fucking manatee.

[00:53:23] I'm fucking I'm at the Jell-O submarine and I'm over here trying to fucking take an electric

[00:53:29] bike instead of drive, which is totally sedative or whatever the fuck said in Terry's said

[00:53:33] it.

[00:53:34] Hey, fuck you.

[00:53:36] And I'm being fucking ridiculed.

[00:53:38] All right.

[00:53:39] I guess I should fucking drive my car.

[00:53:41] Fuck you assholes.

[00:53:42] I'm going to take that fucking electric bike and I'm going to have a nice time.

[00:53:45] And by the way, it had my fuck.

[00:53:47] I have a Fitbit.

[00:53:48] It had my heart rate up.

[00:53:49] I already hit my fucking activity for the day.

[00:53:52] 30 minutes at an elevated hardly Apple watch calculates your VO two max and it says mine

[00:53:57] is like like woefully below.

[00:54:00] What is VO two max?

[00:54:01] I have no idea.

[00:54:02] Sounds cool.

[00:54:03] It's like your cardiovascular efficiency.

[00:54:05] Damn.

[00:54:06] I'm about to get the new Apple watch actually.

[00:54:09] Yeah, I have the five still.

[00:54:11] I might I might give the five away and get the six.

[00:54:14] Yeah, I'm going to give my little brother the Fitbit and I'm going to get the fucking

[00:54:18] big dick shit because I'm I'm all about tracking my shit.

[00:54:22] Mm hmm.

[00:54:23] You're an analytics guy.

[00:54:24] I'm an analytics guru and I'm not going to tell the listeners.

[00:54:27] This is just just what my but listen, I have some goals and if I hit them, I'm going to

[00:54:31] reward myself in a way that I think everybody's going to be really pleased to find the police

[00:54:35] department in the country still have blue is their color.

[00:54:38] Yeah, they all wear black or black.

[00:54:41] Yeah, I think it's a Navy.

[00:54:43] It's a dog and maybe a mid-

[00:54:44] Baltimore has the navies.

[00:54:47] You know, one of the best.

[00:54:48] Yeah, but not like the classic fucking baby blue.

[00:54:51] Were they ever baby?

[00:54:53] Yeah, dude.

[00:54:54] Cops used to look like mailmen until like fucking 1990s.

[00:54:56] That's a cool thing.

[00:54:57] Yeah, now they all know the Grobo cops.

[00:54:58] That's a cool look.

[00:54:59] Yeah.

[00:55:00] That's you said they look like fucking crossing guards.

[00:55:02] And that's what we need.

[00:55:03] Okay.

[00:55:04] Short sleeve blue shirt and then a fucking six shirt.

[00:55:05] And that is one of the biggest hypocrisy of the cops, right?

[00:55:08] What's that?

[00:55:09] They call themselves the blue.

[00:55:10] That's true.

[00:55:11] Mm hmm.

[00:55:12] That's how you know.

[00:55:13] That's true.

[00:55:14] Here's what pisses me.

[00:55:15] That's what that's what the funding should be.

[00:55:16] A picture of a gas cop.

[00:55:17] Imagine Andy in Mayberry, but he's wearing like full tactical gear.

[00:55:21] He's got his head shade.

[00:55:22] Yeah, exactly.

[00:55:23] Who would watch that show and be like, this is a nice guy from the community.

[00:55:26] Yeah.

[00:55:27] Yeah, put him in baby blue.

[00:55:29] You're not allowed.

[00:55:30] If you have any Viking tattoos, you can't be a cop.

[00:55:33] And you don't get fucking tanks.

[00:55:35] And also if someone is a fucking crazy, you don't send a cop.

[00:55:39] And that's it.

[00:55:40] And I just solved it.

[00:55:42] Yeah.

[00:55:43] Apparently cops.

[00:55:44] Well done, dude.

[00:55:45] Some cops used to fucking like, they're used to not be EMTs.

[00:55:48] They used to just have cops go do it.

[00:55:51] If you're having a hard time.

[00:55:52] Yeah.

[00:55:53] And they would like and people would end up dead as fuck on that.

[00:55:54] Yeah, literally, dude.

[00:55:55] Like it was like, it was horribly done.

[00:55:57] You just put a fuck guy.

[00:55:58] Yeah, I think I got rabies.

[00:55:59] You put a guy in a heart attack and just the back of a fucking squad car.

[00:56:04] Anyway, fuck cops.

[00:56:09] That's my fucking.

[00:56:10] That's my brain.

[00:56:11] That brave hero at the Capitol.

[00:56:12] Yes, except for him.

[00:56:15] Except for him except for him.

[00:56:19] Let's see.

[00:56:20] What's some cops?

[00:56:21] This is what riot police look like in 1990.

[00:56:25] Wow.

[00:56:26] They're wearing ties.

[00:56:28] They're wearing tie.

[00:56:29] They should wear ties.

[00:56:30] You should have to wear ties.

[00:56:31] They should have to wear ties again.

[00:56:32] You should have to wear a tie.

[00:56:33] Yeah.

[00:56:34] I want to see them in a tie.

[00:56:37] And then I'll call them, sir.

[00:56:38] I'll respect you if you have a tie.

[00:56:40] I'll respect you.

[00:56:41] If they're dressing for the job they want.

[00:56:43] Yeah.

[00:56:44] I think cops look like, oh, that's a cool.

[00:56:46] That's a cool look.

[00:56:47] I respect those guys.

[00:56:48] They're friendly.

[00:56:49] They look way friendlier.

[00:56:50] Yeah.

[00:56:51] Plus, I'd like to fuck that lady cop.

[00:56:52] Are you sure that's not from a TV show?

[00:56:53] No, I had sex for their already.

[00:56:55] I actually did.

[00:56:56] No, I fucked her.

[00:56:57] That's why she's not a cop anymore.

[00:56:58] Why?

[00:56:59] Because if you're a woman and you have sex, they kick you off.

[00:57:02] You can't have sex.

[00:57:04] Is that so?

[00:57:05] You're only allowed to get gangbanged by the other cops.

[00:57:08] Mm-hmm.

[00:57:09] Oh, you're kind of like property.

[00:57:10] Yeah.

[00:57:11] You get sexed into the police.

[00:57:12] You get sexed into the police.

[00:57:13] I saw an SVU recently where it was the lady cop who was, she was fucking all the guys

[00:57:22] in her squad.

[00:57:23] And then she said she was raped.

[00:57:26] Hell yeah.

[00:57:27] And they were like, wait, you're fucking slow.

[00:57:30] And they were like, no, she was fucking us because she was a slut.

[00:57:34] Yeah.

[00:57:35] It was a good defense.

[00:57:36] Who got raped?

[00:57:37] Or who got, they got off?

[00:57:40] She killed herself.

[00:57:41] What?

[00:57:42] So SVU had an episode where a woman can't be raped because she's a slut and then she

[00:57:48] killed herself?

[00:57:51] She killed herself, no.

[00:57:52] And then they tried to cover it up and then the SVU uncovered the conspiracy of the cops.

[00:57:58] Did anybody go to jail?

[00:58:00] Yeah.

[00:58:01] One cop went to jail.

[00:58:03] Nice.

[00:58:04] Yeah.

[00:58:05] But everyone else was killing themselves.

[00:58:06] It was also like an anti- or like a mental health thing.

[00:58:10] What do we got here watching women getting arrested on planes for going to DC?

[00:58:20] This one's not as fun as the other one.

[00:58:30] The guy in the airport shouting, there's one woman like kicking and screaming.

[00:58:34] We don't stand up.

[00:58:36] It's only going to get worse.

[00:58:38] Is that the lady getting arrested?

[00:58:42] You ever see somebody get arrested on a plane?

[00:58:46] No, not on a plane.

[00:58:48] I think he kicked a stewardess or something.

[00:58:50] And then he had already calmed down by the time we landed and then we landed and then

[00:58:55] APD had to come on the plane and arrest him.

[00:58:58] And he was only a couple of seats away from me.

[00:58:59] He's like, I already said I'm sorry.

[00:59:01] I already said I'm sorry.

[00:59:06] That's so good.

[00:59:10] These videos suck.

[00:59:11] There's one lady kicking and screaming and she can strike that at the airport.

[00:59:15] And that one is pretty good to watch.

[00:59:18] I think I saw that one actually.

[00:59:19] I think I saw that one.

[00:59:23] If only we could live in a United States for the entire country feels like being in the

[00:59:27] airport.

[00:59:28] You know?

[00:59:29] Everything's outrageous.

[00:59:30] People love being in the airport.

[00:59:32] You like even the lowest tier employees are allowed to put you in jail.

[00:59:42] That is true.

[00:59:43] That is literally was fucking.

[00:59:44] Yeah, this was fucking happening.

[00:59:46] Which and I'll say this and I don't care.

[00:59:47] You can send it to the cops in my house.

[00:59:49] I fucking love shoplifting at the Gordy.

[00:59:52] Oh, yeah.

[00:59:53] You know that you know that I have myself to that air course.

[00:59:55] I know that area.

[00:59:56] Yeah, definitely.

[00:59:57] I'm just saying I got a couple of combars in my pocket.

[01:00:00] It's like the Alpha Lachonco.

[01:00:02] The Hudson news that's like, oh no.

[01:00:06] You know, no, no, no.

[01:00:08] You don't have to know.

[01:00:09] I used to steal a lot of porn for air.

[01:00:11] This is why you're not it.

[01:00:12] This is why you're not one of the LaGuardia bands.

[01:00:16] I know.

[01:00:17] This is why you're not eating free yogurt parfait cups.

[01:00:21] That's right.

[01:00:22] And then throwing them out before you can get to the self check.

[01:00:24] That's right.

[01:00:25] The audacity of them.

[01:00:26] A single self check.

[01:00:27] The self check out is so far from all the food.

[01:00:30] It's so far away.

[01:00:31] And then they turn all the other machines off.

[01:00:34] And then what if you just had a bottle of water before you walk?

[01:00:37] I already had the bottle of water.

[01:00:38] I can't remember this people magazine.

[01:00:40] I take it.

[01:00:42] I took it off the stand and I'm throwing it in the trash.

[01:00:45] Wiping my face after I eat directly out of the buffet and throwing it in the trash.

[01:00:53] I'm so sad about the state of buffet.

[01:00:56] Both days.

[01:00:57] It'd be funny to get.

[01:00:58] It'd be funny to get.

[01:00:59] You haven't been in the light.

[01:01:00] I'm in the light in almost a year probably.

[01:01:02] Yeah.

[01:01:03] The day it shut down.

[01:01:04] I heard the news that we're going to lock down out of buffet.

[01:01:07] You went to the sizzlers?

[01:01:08] I went to the sizzlers.

[01:01:09] I was like I got to get it in one last time.

[01:01:11] God.

[01:01:12] Everything's about to change.

[01:01:13] God, I love fucking love both both bofas.

[01:01:18] I'm just going on the road.

[01:01:20] I'm just traveling.

[01:01:21] Yeah, dude.

[01:01:22] Fuckin'.

[01:01:23] Even I'm past missing it.

[01:01:27] I now just my life is...

[01:01:29] It's literally like I'm just a guy who podcast.

[01:01:31] I'm not a stand-up comedian.

[01:01:33] It's off.

[01:01:34] That's off.

[01:01:35] It sucks.

[01:01:36] That's why all I'm doing is fucking...

[01:01:37] I'm doing yoga.

[01:01:38] I'm eating fresh fish.

[01:01:39] I go to the fucking fish market every day.

[01:01:41] I get myself some fucking wild caught salmon.

[01:01:44] Twenty dollars a pound but it's worth its delicious.

[01:01:47] Worth every penny.

[01:01:49] It's funny too how much that black rifle coffee company got wrapped up in all of this.

[01:01:54] Were they Q&O?

[01:01:55] Well, there's people like it's the only company in America that sells anything other than

[01:02:01] guns or gun accessories that is politically associated with.

[01:02:07] They're like, we used to be troops and we're not pussy.

[01:02:10] Didn't they bail out that written house mother fucker?

[01:02:13] They didn't bail them out but they were like, well send them free coffee at the ass.

[01:02:20] Oh fuck.

[01:02:22] So what happened?

[01:02:23] Were they there in DC?

[01:02:24] Did they have a little kiosk?

[01:02:26] Oh.

[01:02:27] No, that's Doug calling but I'll tell them to just call back on the other app.

[01:02:35] On the weekly.

[01:02:36] Okay.

[01:02:37] Yeah.

[01:02:38] Well that sounds good.

[01:02:40] I guess well you'll hear it on Wednesday.

[01:02:42] Yeah, this already has already heard it.

[01:02:44] Yeah.

[01:02:45] Explain what's going on I guess.

[01:02:48] Zero books is being silenced by YouTube.

[01:02:52] So yeah.

[01:02:53] Yeah, so I don't know.

[01:02:55] And Stav and I knew what that was.

[01:02:56] I know what zero books is for sure.

[01:02:58] A lot.

[01:02:59] Zero books, what's that?

[01:03:01] What is his company?

[01:03:02] They published all the books I read.

[01:03:04] All the Garfield.

[01:03:05] Oh dude, if he published the Dilberts.

[01:03:09] Yeah.

[01:03:10] As it was.

[01:03:11] He's been probably 11 years old.

[01:03:12] He's the publisher of Kathy.

[01:03:14] Oh wow.

[01:03:15] Yeah.

[01:03:16] Mm-hmm.

[01:03:17] Who'd stop at a crush on?

[01:03:18] Is it a child?

[01:03:20] Not really.

[01:03:21] Like he's like we both love chocolate.

[01:03:23] No.

[01:03:24] I was not stressed out.

[01:03:25] I wasn't a Kathy guy.

[01:03:26] Yeah, you're really a hard record.

[01:03:28] I'm a record as a Dilbert guy.

[01:03:29] You're struggling with your way.

[01:03:31] You're stressed out.

[01:03:32] I did want to fuck Dilbert's girlfriend.

[01:03:33] He used to say, I look like Kathy.

[01:03:36] What the fuck is she reminded me of?

[01:03:37] She reminded me.

[01:03:38] And everyone is like look how big my ankles are.

[01:03:39] I might as well fucking kill myself.

[01:03:41] And it's like next week on Kathy.

[01:03:45] I accidentally ate a grape.

[01:03:47] Time to fucking leave the car running in the garage.

[01:03:50] Hack, hack, hack.

[01:03:52] Hack, hack.

[01:03:53] Oh my mother's calling me.

[01:03:55] I guess I better put sand in my vagina.

[01:03:57] I better crush up a bunch of light bulbs.

[01:03:59] Jam it in my pussy and cock it shut.

[01:04:02] Yeah, that was it.

[01:04:03] I want to spend for having a bad relationship with my mother.

[01:04:06] That was a good Kathy.

[01:04:08] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:09] Yeah.

[01:04:10] Who made it?

[01:04:11] A lady made it?

[01:04:12] Yeah, lady made it.

[01:04:13] It would be funny if a guy made that.

[01:04:14] Kathy, no, it was a bitch that looked exactly like Kathy.

[01:04:16] It was a woman named Kathy.

[01:04:17] I'm sure her name was there.

[01:04:18] Yeah.

[01:04:19] It's Gailain.

[01:04:20] Gailain Kathy.

[01:04:21] Gailain Kathy.

[01:04:22] Gailain Kathy.

[01:04:23] Gailain Kathy.

[01:04:24] It's crazy that Gailain.

[01:04:27] What if we just found out that on Wednesday Gailain escaped from Gail?

[01:04:31] Oh, yeah, we don't know what happened exactly.

[01:04:34] Wow.

[01:04:35] It was like the Joker.

[01:04:36] Yeah.

[01:04:37] And then there's just a picture of her at McDonald's with Nancy Pelosi's laptop and she's

[01:04:41] like clearly deleting a bunch of stuff.

[01:04:44] Oh, yeah, weird.

[01:04:49] I guess there's probably no reason to look into this at all.

[01:04:54] Free her.

[01:04:55] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:56] Oh, wow.

[01:04:57] I'm reading some Kathy comics right now and it really do be like that.

[01:05:03] Oh, she got married.

[01:05:06] She got married in the comic universe?

[01:05:08] Yeah.

[01:05:09] Kathy's an American gat-a-day comic strip.

[01:05:12] Yeah.

[01:05:13] The lady that made Kathy is skinny and hot.

[01:05:16] Yeah.

[01:05:17] You can learn her lesson.

[01:05:19] Dude, she's hot.

[01:05:20] Oh, shit.

[01:05:22] She's not a woman struggling with her weight.

[01:05:25] She's stealing ugly bitch valor?

[01:05:27] She made mad money off of big-boned women.

[01:05:30] Damn.

[01:05:31] She was hot in her youth.

[01:05:32] Yeah, it's actually.

[01:05:33] That's why I didn't get to watch.

[01:05:34] I actually had sex with her before, Nick.

[01:05:37] She used to be...

[01:05:39] Damn, when she was young, she could actually catch a prick.

[01:05:43] Yeah, she used to have a crush on her.

[01:05:46] Shut up, dude.

[01:05:47] I kind of like her.

[01:05:49] Yeah, she used to show me the Kathy comics while I was fucking her.

[01:05:52] And you go, you have a crush on her when she looks like this.

[01:05:55] Is that her now?

[01:05:56] Yeah, she had a tattoo of all the Kathy.

[01:05:59] That's not what she looks like.

[01:06:00] Yeah, it is.

[01:06:01] No, it's not.

[01:06:02] It's a fucking...

[01:06:03] Kathy Goose White, what's her name?

[01:06:05] Goose White.

[01:06:06] Kathy Goose.

[01:06:07] Yeah, she definitely makes the fucking cartoon look like a fucking big-band bitch.

[01:06:14] Yeah.

[01:06:15] This woman does not struggle with her weight.

[01:06:17] Well, you know, maybe she does.

[01:06:19] Maybe she does, actually.

[01:06:20] Maybe, but inside, she thinks she's fighting.

[01:06:22] Yeah, she's trying to make her draw Kathy on my cockwalk.

[01:06:25] That was her pussy?

[01:06:26] Yeah, she had to put a pen in her pussy.

[01:06:29] A number two pencil in her pussy.

[01:06:32] And then tattoo Kathy on the mic eye.

[01:06:35] Wow, I like her.

[01:06:37] Shut up.

[01:06:38] Do you chill out?

[01:06:39] Shut the fuck up.

[01:06:40] You're a fucking loser.

[01:06:41] You can't you just objectify this woman without being like, I have a crush.

[01:06:44] I love her.

[01:06:45] I want to take her out.

[01:06:47] She likes to draw a cartoon.

[01:06:48] Because you do that and then it becomes as earnest as she would like me think.

[01:06:52] Yeah, I do.

[01:06:53] I'm just trying to get our cockrops.

[01:06:55] I'm just trying to fuck this person.

[01:06:58] And you're fantasizing that she likes you and you're charming.

[01:07:01] Sorry.

[01:07:02] And then she's laughing in her jokes.

[01:07:04] They're at a museum together looking at painting.

[01:07:08] I'm wearing that.

[01:07:09] They're both creating professionals and they respect each other.

[01:07:12] He has such good days.

[01:07:14] So long term relationship.

[01:07:15] We dance all night.

[01:07:16] And he's fantasizing about him.

[01:07:18] Of course, accidentally cheating on her and like crafting the perfect apology.

[01:07:23] Yeah.

[01:07:24] How they're loved to get a big spectacle.

[01:07:26] Even though he couldn't help but cheat on her.

[01:07:30] I cheat on her and then I just I win her back with one fell swoop.

[01:07:35] So not only you get pussy, but you get the dream.

[01:07:37] Meanwhile, I'm running through the streets of New York City.

[01:07:39] And I'm wearing a long trench.

[01:07:41] Meanwhile, I've given her the child.

[01:07:42] I'm like, I'm a chocolate that she wants.

[01:07:44] She's big now.

[01:07:45] And I'm like, go ahead bitch, draw golfing on it.

[01:07:48] Go there go girl.

[01:07:49] Go, go short.

[01:07:50] He dropped off.

[01:07:51] You're going to spell out, spell out, act with your tongue.

[01:07:57] I'm trying to get active.

[01:07:59] I'm just trying to make this bitch be as big as she wanted to be.

[01:08:03] And then code switch.

[01:08:04] That's right.

[01:08:05] While I'm plugging those holes.

[01:08:06] Plugging her from the back with a thumb and a rest.

[01:08:09] They call it code switch.

[01:08:10] I would love to just take her out and treat her.

[01:08:16] Treat her well.

[01:08:17] Yeah, dude.

[01:08:18] Have some fucking spritchers.

[01:08:20] Sorry folks, but I don't know if I've said this before on the show, but I love love.

[01:08:29] You love phase on love.

[01:08:30] You want to have such a bad face on love.

[01:08:33] I say love phase on love.

[01:08:35] Adam's kissing is wrong.

[01:08:37] I want to be the cat.

[01:08:40] I want to be the cat.

[01:08:48] I want phase on the fuck my ass.

[01:08:49] That's why I cheated on her because I was jealous of her ability to just sort of tweet

[01:08:54] and sit in our second room and draw a little pictures.

[01:08:57] And I just wanted to be cradled and taken care of like I took care of Kathy.

[01:09:03] And face on say Corey now.

[01:09:07] I forget what show he was on.

[01:09:09] It was a Corey.

[01:09:10] I don't remember.

[01:09:11] It was like the loud family or something.

[01:09:18] The loud type of family.

[01:09:19] The being the loud together now.

[01:09:25] All loud together now.

[01:09:27] I love that show.

[01:09:28] Whatever it was.

[01:09:29] Honestly as a kid.

[01:09:30] That was the one with Robert Townsend when I was a kid phase on love was my hero.

[01:09:35] The parenthood.

[01:09:36] The parenthood.

[01:09:37] That was a great fucking show actually.

[01:09:40] Yeah.

[01:09:41] Yeah.

[01:09:42] He was I like idolized him on that show.

[01:09:47] He was the coolest one because when you like the cool uncle it would come in sometimes.

[01:09:50] Yeah.

[01:09:51] Well he was the comic relief.

[01:09:52] Yeah.

[01:09:53] Yeah.

[01:09:54] Uh good check out the parenthood everyone and when you watch and you see a fat black

[01:09:58] guy come in just imagine Adam sucking his dick.

[01:10:01] No.

[01:10:02] I want his white is wiping his brow with a towel while Adam sucks.

[01:10:09] Oh.

[01:10:10] It's getting crazy.

[01:10:12] I don't want to do my word.

[01:10:15] Fuck the world.

[01:10:17] I'm just an asshole.

[01:10:21] Fuck.

[01:10:22] All right.

[01:10:24] Well.

[01:10:25] Thanks for listening folks.

[01:10:29] Yeah.

[01:10:30] Thanks.

[01:10:31] Um.

[01:10:32] Oh.

[01:10:33] Faison got arrested.

[01:10:34] Damn free phase on for assaulting a valet.

[01:10:36] Time for you to go put your nipples up on the glass.

[01:10:40] Which bundle I forgot to go.

[01:10:42] The orange one.

[01:10:43] Uh not up the yellow.

[01:10:45] Yeah.

[01:10:46] No red.

[01:10:47] Red.

[01:10:48] This one.

[01:10:49] Yeah.

[01:10:50] Yeah.