[00:00:00] I know. All right. Welcome to the premium episode. Oh, nice. Hello, a week of pre recording.

[00:00:07] This is June. I got I wish, dude. This is June. Do you know how awesome that would be

[00:00:13] if it was like teams right now? What's that June 16th or whatever? Yeah, June 19th.

[00:00:19] 19th. Yeah. So they found out slavery ended in Texas. Yep. That's so funny. I know. It's

[00:00:27] a Jafani. I mean, the slavery is bad, but if you're like, if you're a plantation owner

[00:00:38] and you're like reading the emancipation proclamation, you're like, what are we going to do? We've

[00:00:44] got we've got fucking there's, I got 78 crops out there. Yeah. What am I supposed to do?

[00:00:49] Get a tractor? They won't exist for another 40 years. That's right. Mm hmm. Let's just

[00:00:53] not tell. All right. Just don't tell nobody. Just one guy in Texas who could read was racist.

[00:00:59] Just keep this under your hat. Yep. Yeah. We're just remember last year when I got all

[00:01:07] those parking tickets and then I just sold the car and nothing came of it. It's like

[00:01:13] that. We're just going to we're going to treat this like a little. And maybe when you, you

[00:01:19] know, clip the neighbor's car on the way out of the neighborhood because you have a little

[00:01:23] look, he knows I drank. He shouldn't park his car. So close to my driver. Close and deeper

[00:01:28] into your driveway. Flip your rear view in. Absolutely. I'm a slave owner drinking good

[00:01:34] time in Southern boy. He's a good old boy. I'm a good time guy. And I don't look most

[00:01:40] of these slaves, they wouldn't know even what it means. I barely understand the thing. I

[00:01:46] wouldn't want to confuse. You think there was a good job here. They got health insurance.

[00:01:56] You full bedding. We got a 401k. You think there was one slave owner who was just a loser

[00:02:02] that wanted friends? Maybe he spent all day playing checkers with what we taught. Yeah,

[00:02:08] it's just the gay slave owner. Oh, right. Today, it's Andy Dick. Andy Dick slave. He's

[00:02:15] not what Andy Dick would execute people to when he went really if he got like crazy. Yeah.

[00:02:20] Yeah. But the gay slave owners just wanted to be around powerful man. Dingos. But at the

[00:02:24] same time, he if they displeased him, I feel like he would be even more treacherous. Andy

[00:02:30] prick. Yeah, prick. Yeah, we're on the record. Oh, dude, I heard there's a there was a coach

[00:02:36] for the Atlanta Hawks. There was like some kind of development coach, something back in the

[00:02:40] day. His name was Dick Harder. Oh, I heard that. I heard that watching the Zach below

[00:02:46] both the both. Yeah, the Zach. They said the Dick Harder and they really went into the

[00:02:50] rest of the podcast. They really did not laugh at that. And it's like, come on. It's like,

[00:02:56] that's just you got to enjoy that. A guy's name is Dick Harder. Now I did look at those

[00:03:00] everyone's name before 1970. The problem is it was spelled H R T M S book child. My last

[00:03:07] year. My name is fuck ass. I'm Dick prickly. I'm Dick Suckley. That's my name, actually.

[00:03:16] Dick Suckley. That's so funny. We had the same thought. Oh, dude, I was like, come on.

[00:03:22] I was like, guys, if this was fucking pod, don't lie. Do they not know how to pod? Yeah.

[00:03:27] Come on, guys. Oh, Dick Harder. That's you got you got fucking 15 minutes on that right

[00:03:33] there. Can you explain the joke to me? Huh? No, they just said, Oh, there's no joke. They

[00:03:39] thought this guy, Kevin Herders. They're like, is his name Kevin Harder? They're like, no,

[00:03:43] you're thinking of Dick Harder, the coach, the old coach, but I don't get it. Oh, okay.

[00:03:47] I'll explain it to you. You know, you're a dick. You know the thing your dick has never

[00:03:51] gotten? No, hard. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rephrase. You know the thing your dick is

[00:03:57] never gotten around a woman. What? So think about the way your name. This guy's name has

[00:04:03] something to do with that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. This guy's name is what your dick

[00:04:09] gets around. Man, it's about her to win. Vic Henley. That's another name that sounds like

[00:04:15] a big, big diet, of course. I believe. All right. What if his name was Dick Hardly? That's

[00:04:21] your name. Dick Hardly. Dick Hardly. That's what you're named. You could call his family

[00:04:34] car surviving. They're like, Dick Harder. More like Dick Hardly. Show up to the funeral.

[00:04:41] You didn't even know the family. No, I just had that joke. I just had to get it out. Dick

[00:04:47] Hardly. More like Dick Hardly. Holy shit. That's good stuff. Yeah. I think the villain

[00:04:57] that calls Dick Tracy, Dick Teensy all the time. Dick Teensy. That's another. I want to

[00:05:03] watch that movie. Listen, faggot. That's not my name. You'll never stop me. Faggot face.

[00:05:10] That's true. He just got just constantly smiling. Yeah. It's me, faggot face. It just looks

[00:05:25] like Alan Cummings. They're like, what do you want? It was a different time. I'm going

[00:05:31] to rob the bank. It was a different time. You could do stuff like that. You could be named

[00:05:38] faggot face. The villain could be named that. How about a villain named shit face? It's like

[00:05:43] a school and we're going to fuck the traces ass. We're going to break it in a museum and

[00:05:51] I'm going to fuck Dick Tracy and suck my fucking dick. Yeah. I'm going to fuck his wife. Dick,

[00:05:58] come quickly. Somebody drove through the elementary school. It looks like the work is shit face.

[00:06:05] This must have been shit face. That did it. All of my enemies have face names. What an

[00:06:11] easy job for a detective. I know. Why do they need a private investigation? It's child

[00:06:16] molester for penis. I wonder who did this. Somebody fucked some kids. Well, they checked

[00:06:21] child molester penis. The police office. I don't have the resources to put this one. Better

[00:06:26] call Dick Teensy. It's not my name. Well, I'm sorry, but faggot face took out a full print

[00:06:33] and a paper saying it was. And it's the 40s. You got to believe everything. Everything

[00:06:38] in the papers is true. It's true. It's all put in there by the State Department. They

[00:06:42] wouldn't lie to us. Did you know Japanese people have an extra brain in their ass? Only for

[00:06:49] evil. It's only for evil. The Japanese ass brain makes them more treacherous than any

[00:06:56] race, even the blacks. That's why we got to kill them with science. That's why we're going

[00:07:01] to be like a 40s guy that's like a kuomo fucking. Follow the science. I got an extra

[00:07:09] bone. We've been measuring their skulls. They have big a prey. They have smaller brains.

[00:07:18] Guomo is fucking just is he's on one. And it's so funny too, because I'm glad he's getting

[00:07:23] his right now. He's weaponizing all of the language that the Democrats have been like

[00:07:27] carefully inserting into everyone's brain is like fucking trigger words. It's like this

[00:07:32] is it's a conspiracy theory. And anyone who says I killed people is an insurrectionist.

[00:07:37] You're being a terror. Stop your blowing the load on those before we really get to use

[00:07:43] it. Come on. Come on. Before we really just apply that label to anything we don't like.

[00:07:48] Yeah, dude, he's cashing in. It's going to be so funny when he's president, when he runs

[00:07:53] for president, he gets one percent of the vote. Willie. I don't know. He's too unlikable.

[00:08:00] He's so unlikely to try. I mean, Kamala is a fucking vice president. What are we talking

[00:08:04] about? Unlike ability. Yeah. And she didn't win the election. Yeah, she she got out very

[00:08:09] early. Yeah, that's what but she's where she now is my fucking point, bro. Listen, just

[00:08:13] like black women need a representation. We need it a little American representation

[00:08:18] at the highest levels. Has there ever been an over my dead body? There ever been an

[00:08:22] italo American vice president over my small penis. I got this chair for you, Mr. Cuomo.

[00:08:30] There's a dildo in the seat. Every time you lie, it goes further up your hands. That's

[00:08:40] a good one, dude. What happened to the big boat? Why did you put the old people in the

[00:08:45] white one? They were on the boat. We didn't need the boat and it sailed away. The boat

[00:08:50] got lost at sea. Silled away, huh? Well, maybe it's time to rape your wife. Maybe it's time

[00:09:00] for old Clint to do what he does best. Rape somebody. Was that new movie you got where

[00:09:07] he's like, I watched Richard Jule. Yeah, did you like it? It's great. I loved it. Yeah.

[00:09:13] I love the part where he was like, just make sure to let him know that I am not gay. Yeah.

[00:09:20] Very funny. Richard Jule. Was he afraid people would think he was going to live with his

[00:09:26] mother? Nice to see you. His name sounds like the piece of shit he probably is in real

[00:09:30] life. Yeah, I like how unlikable the female reporter character is. Yeah, I didn't see

[00:09:35] the movie, but I salute that guy for being fat. My favorite part of that is when fucking

[00:09:39] Sam Rockwell goes into her office and he's like, how did you fucking get this job? Your

[00:09:44] piece of shit. Just Ellen's are in front of everybody. And then he's like, you know,

[00:09:49] you destroyed this man's life. And then you see her like do the timeframe thing to see

[00:09:55] if like, you know, clearly Richard Jule didn't do it. Yeah. She's like crying watching the

[00:10:00] mom. And then so you think it's like, okay, well, this is going to be this character's

[00:10:03] redemption. But then she doesn't do like she doesn't do it. She just remains a piece of

[00:10:08] shit. She just keeps being a big. Well, that's a nice indictment of that. That's what women

[00:10:12] are like. I mean, media and women are like, she is on the making look like the woman

[00:10:18] has a chance of redemption. But really, it's just because she's a bitch. It's just her

[00:10:22] feeling bad for herself. She's she's just crying because there might be repercussions

[00:10:27] on when she realizes there aren't she goes back to me. She might not be able to go to

[00:10:31] network. She's going to do the bare minimum to feel bad. It's enough in a woman's brain.

[00:10:39] If she feels bad, it means that she paid for her mind. She's out there with Tilda Swinton

[00:10:43] and Michael Clayton as the big the bitches here to serve a little smackaroo at least

[00:10:49] Tilda got got what was hers. Tilda. Yeah, she was with the difference. That's the difference

[00:10:55] between a liberal movie and a Republican movie. Yeah, a woman gets to go to jail at the end

[00:11:01] of a Democrats movie to show equality. No, Michael Clayton, the Democrats. I don't fucking

[00:11:07] know. It just wasn't Clint Eastwood. I don't even think that Mr. Dool was Republican. Well,

[00:11:13] anything it was kind of anti-cop really if Clint Eastwood makes a movie to a Republican

[00:11:17] movie. That's how that works. No, I think his I think his what he believes is is not on

[00:11:24] the buying name. Not on the spectrum. I think that he's he's just on his own. His politics

[00:11:29] or genderqueer. Yeah, I think he just exists on his own. His politics is like brain damage

[00:11:35] from filming 800 movies. Yeah, he's definitely frying over there when they're here. He has

[00:11:43] a building on the Warner Brothers lot where the studios literally not allowed to walk

[00:11:47] in. He's allowed to do whatever he wants. That's pretty tight. He's the last filmmaker

[00:11:52] in the world. Nah, dude. What about fucking the guy who made gummo. Harmony. Harmony.

[00:12:00] Yeah. You see beach bum? Yeah, very cool. That's a good aspect. I love Jonah Hills fucking.

[00:12:07] I won't spoil it, but he makes a choice that I love. Yeah, the gay lawyer about harm in

[00:12:13] me. The gin. Oh, that's good. Damn. Letterman should have thought of that.

[00:12:18] Harvard me, Virginia. How about a fuck me in my ass? That's a good one, Dave. Hey, listen,

[00:12:28] nobody. Nobody tell him about Juneteenth. Thank you. Come again. We got the Indian folks

[00:12:45] in the house. David Letterman. Yeah. David Letterman's monologue during the writer's

[00:12:53] strike. Yeah. Got to write his own material. I saw a vanity plate. The first letters ran

[00:13:00] IG. And then the second half was six three R and then I haunted the guy and he pulled

[00:13:11] over and it was a black man. I said, what the hell are you doing with that last place?

[00:13:17] And he said, it's just what do you mean? It's the one they gave to me at the DMV. It's

[00:13:22] not a bad thing. Well, you know what it says? He says, no, I don't. What is this? And boy,

[00:13:31] you should have seen the egg on my face. I was trying to be a good citizen. Stop somebody

[00:13:39] from saying something racist. Anyway, folks, I'm about to admit to having an affair. That

[00:13:45] was fucking awesome. He was like, look, this bitch is trying to take a couple dollars out

[00:13:50] of my pocket just because she sucked me off on the sneak. Well, guess what? Let me tell

[00:13:54] you something. I don't give a fuck. Where the fuck is my wife going? Is that bitch trying

[00:14:01] to really lose half of this fucking empire? I don't think so. That woman get arrested

[00:14:05] for extortion? I think she did. I don't know. But it's funny because she was on the show.

[00:14:09] He did put his side bitch on TV quite a bit. Oh, is she like she was like an intern that

[00:14:14] would like do bits sometimes should be like a Chris Elliott? She would be I think she

[00:14:18] would like reach when it was like she would like interact with the audience sometimes.

[00:14:23] But it's interesting. Well, that's just generous of him. I think exactly as a side bitch, that's

[00:14:30] a lot to ask for. Yeah. And you know, I bet you if I had to pick between getting fucked

[00:14:36] by David Letterman and Jay Leno, I would pick Letterman every time. Oh, yeah, me too. I just

[00:14:42] don't feel like Jay fucks that I would pick both personally. You would get I feel towered

[00:14:46] by them. Oh, I would have spit roasted. I would be having sex with them. I would like

[00:14:50] to get Jay Leno's whole chain in my pussy. I bet you Jay that's Jay's move. He pushes

[00:14:56] whole chain in a woman's pussy and eats her and licks are clit. You ever see this? You

[00:15:01] have a seat on like this? Fuck a dumb ass bitch. Fuck it. What's that? Paul? What's

[00:15:07] up? You fucking slut? Yeah, this pussy belongs to Jay. He just takes her into a model team.

[00:15:14] He's talking rolls out and it's stored in his chin 15 feet long. He's going into her

[00:15:21] nose and out of her eye sockets and ears. You ever see something like this? Yeah, we see

[00:15:24] this bitch. You fucking whore. Take it. Take the whole chin. Take the whole chin. You fucking

[00:15:30] whore. That's a man who knows how to help. Leno. Yeah. Leno by when he's wood.

[00:15:43] Get your faggot chin out of my ass. Sorry, Clint. My man. I thought it was a woman's

[00:15:54] pussy. Your ass is wrinkly because it's your old. It looks kind of like a pussy. The only

[00:16:01] chin that's going into my ass with the Chinese family I keep in there. I can't even fuck my

[00:16:07] ass. That's from my famous movie Transporter. Directed by Clint Eastwood. I'm going to

[00:16:12] be trying to get you out of here. He did that in Grand Torino too. He put a Chinese family

[00:16:22] in his ass. That's what the movie was about. That song sucked over the credits. It's very

[00:16:31] funny. He sings the credits in other movies. That's awesome. I saw recently the family

[00:16:38] guy with Nicholas Cage where Elvis Costello sings the song called The Family Guy. You ever

[00:16:45] see Coogan's Bluff? No. It's the family man. I thought you were talking about an episode

[00:16:55] of family guy. No, no. Suck Nicholas Cage. Suck Nicholas Cage. What are you guys talking

[00:17:02] about? What are you guys talking about? Let's just keep it down. Don't tell him what I

[00:17:10] was saying. Boss, you said there were some news from the president. No. When I talked

[00:17:17] about that either. Secret day. Is Nicholas Cage playing a black guy in this movie? Is

[00:17:24] that why you have to hide it from him? No. Don't tell Nicholas Cage that I had said called

[00:17:30] him Suck Nicholas. Oh, I see. It's two separate things. Suck Nicholas. Like the end. Saying

[00:17:41] Suck Nicholas. I've been kind of a pickle with these slaves. Don't tell about the true

[00:17:48] thing. What do you mean? Perfect. No, I really don't know what you're talking about. Even

[00:17:55] better. Keep it up. Suck Nicholas. Suck Nicholas Cage. Oh, hey. Good to see you. Good to see you.

[00:18:02] I'm not going to be a big guy. I'm not going to be a big guy. I'm not going to be a big

[00:18:07] guy. I'm not going to be a big guy. I'm not going to be a big guy. I'm not going to be

[00:18:14] a big guy.ai. Yes. I'm going to be a hot guy. I'm going to be a present day. See you,

[00:18:22] God, I'm not going to be him. Feel right when I'm watching because all of you go back am

[00:18:28] you? Let someone play at night, you know? Just look out into me. Oh, yeah, you just

[00:18:36] FUL. Get back Bc13 a hour. No, your chest, you probably and I gagged me back mam.

[00:18:39] ats you. I still feel okay. Feel like I'm there. Like, you know, fuck that's not tight.

[00:18:42] what's her name is Talia Shire's son, right?

[00:18:46] I don't know, it's not her own nephew.

[00:18:47] Yeah, interesting.

[00:18:51] Are they, who's bad at though?

[00:18:53] Everyone has their merits.

[00:18:56] What's that?

[00:18:57] In the family, everyone kind of has some bangers.

[00:19:00] Francis has a couple of bangers.

[00:19:01] Francis has some of the most biggest bangers of all time.

[00:19:04] Couple of, couple of.

[00:19:05] But he's got some hilarious thinkers too.

[00:19:07] Couple of stinkers too.

[00:19:08] But that's fine, I'm fine with that.

[00:19:10] I've never seen Rumble finish, have you seen it?

[00:19:12] Francis, dirt, couple of.

[00:19:13] It's on my list right now.

[00:19:15] I got a Francis, dirt movie.

[00:19:17] It's about the Wild West.

[00:19:20] That's all I got so hard.

[00:19:22] LAUGHTER

[00:19:24] I'm kind of working out the other details.

[00:19:28] But I just got close my eyes and I see a cowboy.

[00:19:31] No, I'm in the right direction.

[00:19:35] Yeah.

[00:19:37] This 90's stuff is hot right now.

[00:19:40] It's about the guys in the West who came up with the idea

[00:19:43] for Nickelodeon guts.

[00:19:45] LAUGHTER

[00:19:47] There's a bunch of spoiled milk that they spray on a child's face.

[00:19:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:53] A dead cow, some curdled milk at a dead cow's udders.

[00:19:56] A turtled milk.

[00:19:58] LAUGHTER

[00:19:59] Somebody, a cow took shit.

[00:20:01] Shout out to that guy, anyo.

[00:20:03] What's his name, anyo Moricon?

[00:20:04] Anyo, GG.

[00:20:06] LAUGHTER

[00:20:10] No, that's not his name.

[00:20:12] That's not his name.

[00:20:13] That's not his name.

[00:20:14] Anyo, his name is not anyo, PGR.

[00:20:17] Anyo, GG.

[00:20:19] GG, R.

[00:20:20] My favorite.

[00:20:21] G-G-R-O.

[00:20:22] Anyo, G-G-R-O.

[00:20:23] Yeah.

[00:20:24] My favorite, one of my favorite Italian directors.

[00:20:27] LAUGHTER

[00:20:29] That's not his name and he's not a director.

[00:20:31] He's a director.

[00:20:32] He's a director.

[00:20:33] He's a score.

[00:20:34] And now he's the guy who made the movie.

[00:20:37] You're thinking of anyo Moricon.

[00:20:39] Oh, yeah, that is true.

[00:20:41] He's one of the famous Mexican homosuction.

[00:20:44] LAUGHTER

[00:20:46] Yeah, nobody gone.

[00:20:48] LAUGHTER

[00:20:52] He said he made his way for Veracoste, San Maria, just by Suttron Kalk.

[00:20:57] LAUGHTER

[00:21:00] His mouth never left the penis the whole way.

[00:21:03] He sucked the penis the entire time.

[00:21:05] LAUGHTER

[00:21:08] Yeah, tell me a piece of music more famous than...

[00:21:13] That shit, dude.

[00:21:16] Yeah, that song's pretty famous.

[00:21:19] That's when every night writer theme.

[00:21:21] No, it's not even close.

[00:21:23] I love the numbers.

[00:21:24] I think it's a bad note.

[00:21:25] Star Wars.

[00:21:27] Star Wars is more famous.

[00:21:30] No.

[00:21:31] No chance.

[00:21:32] Because they put fucking...

[00:21:33] They put that shit in like cartoons.

[00:21:35] The cheeks clappled banner.

[00:21:37] What about the cheeks clappled banner?

[00:21:39] No.

[00:21:40] But...

[00:21:41] Oh, say can you see my big ass cheeks were so viciously clapped.

[00:21:51] Last night I was raped.

[00:21:54] LAUGHTER

[00:21:56] Francis?

[00:21:57] The British fucked up, yes!

[00:22:00] Francis, this...

[00:22:01] This...

[00:22:02] We're not gonna...

[00:22:03] This can't be the national.

[00:22:04] LAUGHTER

[00:22:05] But I got fucked.

[00:22:07] Put a bunch of redcoaches.

[00:22:09] I'm a senator and you need to acknowledge my pain as a senator.

[00:22:14] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:15] Senator Francis.

[00:22:16] They said I had a girl name.

[00:22:20] Yeah, they fucked me in my ass.

[00:22:23] That's true.

[00:22:24] Francis is a woman's name.

[00:22:25] All names used to be men's name.

[00:22:27] Back until 1930.

[00:22:29] Then they gave them to the women.

[00:22:30] Women didn't even have names.

[00:22:31] Yep.

[00:22:32] It was, hey, a hole.

[00:22:34] Britney used to be a strong man's name.

[00:22:37] Yeah.

[00:22:38] Men named Sarah and Rachel.

[00:22:40] Jessica.

[00:22:41] Women are back to not having...

[00:22:42] Well, not another had names again.

[00:22:44] But if there was funny there, because at the end of the last decade they were like, let's just give them all Irish surnames.

[00:22:49] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:50] Yeah, yeah.

[00:22:51] Like Mackenzie.

[00:22:52] Oh, true.

[00:22:53] Yeah.

[00:22:54] Mackay was forever.

[00:22:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:56] Oh, Malley.

[00:22:57] Oh, yeah.

[00:22:58] I got Pussy from O'Malley.

[00:22:59] Yeah, I got my...

[00:23:00] O'Malley's got Kennedy.

[00:23:01] He's got Kennedy's.

[00:23:02] There is...

[00:23:03] I got Fitzgerald gave me a hand job.

[00:23:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:07] Pussy.

[00:23:08] Yeah, I'll try to get my dick sucked by a girl named Pussy.

[00:23:11] The luck of the Irish, you know.

[00:23:13] Mackenzie.

[00:23:14] Suck of the guys dick.

[00:23:16] Suck of the guys dick, of course.

[00:23:18] How is your show?

[00:23:19] Look at that man's penis.

[00:23:20] Oh, look at his penis.

[00:23:21] Oh, I want to put it on here.

[00:23:22] Oh, I want to suck on a penis.

[00:23:24] Oh, that's the suck of the guys dick.

[00:23:26] This is like the guys dick.

[00:23:27] Yeah, that's how you get a leprechaun's gold.

[00:23:32] You have to suck his dick.

[00:23:33] Damn, I would love a big bowl of lucky charms right now.

[00:23:36] Dude, that would be awesome.

[00:23:37] I love letting the...

[00:23:38] Look, you should have let a lot of cereal soak, but especially I like a soaked up lucky charm.

[00:23:43] Yeah, you know what?

[00:23:44] Just half chewy.

[00:23:45] Here's what you do.

[00:23:46] You could wake up, you get two bowls.

[00:23:48] I'm listening.

[00:23:49] You pour one bowl of lucky charms, put your whole milk in it.

[00:23:53] Oh, fuck.

[00:23:54] Second bowl of lucky charms, a little bit of whole milk, and then top it off with half in it.

[00:24:00] That goes into the Vitamix.

[00:24:05] Yeah.

[00:24:06] Blend that shit up.

[00:24:09] And then you put it in a little sauce pan, reduce it.

[00:24:13] And that goes in the freezer.

[00:24:15] I love that.

[00:24:16] In the ice cube tray.

[00:24:17] Let's get a real concentrate.

[00:24:19] Next morning, then you make your coffee drop a couple of those.

[00:24:23] Oh, my God.

[00:24:24] You make a little lucky charms frappuccino.

[00:24:26] I love that.

[00:24:27] Put that in the Vitamix.

[00:24:28] Wow.

[00:24:29] And then some barbacoa.

[00:24:30] Yeah.

[00:24:31] Absolutely.

[00:24:32] You need your protein.

[00:24:33] Because you're going to lift after this.

[00:24:35] This is how you're going to get jacked or something.

[00:24:37] You're going to lift yourself up.

[00:24:38] You're going to look at the mirror and you're going to say it doesn't matter.

[00:24:41] You're going to die anyways.

[00:24:43] You might as well have a lucky charm.

[00:24:44] Might as well be happy.

[00:24:45] Yep.

[00:24:46] Okay.

[00:24:47] Here I am.

[00:24:48] I'm happy.

[00:24:49] I did it.

[00:24:50] Is that what you want from me?

[00:24:53] God.

[00:24:54] God, you fucking bitch.

[00:24:57] I'm just screaming on the fucking street corner.

[00:25:00] I'm happy now.

[00:25:02] It is funny.

[00:25:03] You can't just decide to be happy.

[00:25:05] I find that hard to do.

[00:25:07] I'm trying.

[00:25:08] I'm trying.

[00:25:09] I'm trying.

[00:25:10] I'm doing a lifestyle influence.

[00:25:11] Oh, okay.

[00:25:12] You can't.

[00:25:13] It's your decision.

[00:25:14] You can just decide to be happy.

[00:25:15] Yeah.

[00:25:16] You only use like one percent of your brain.

[00:25:18] That's out of mind.

[00:25:19] Once you head over to cum.town and buy some t-shirts.

[00:25:22] That'll make you happy.

[00:25:23] To be happy.

[00:25:24] I'm going to win $1 to happy dude.

[00:25:28] To really be happy.

[00:25:29] It's 742.

[00:25:30] I heard people that go to Stavi.biz and buy calendar for the remainder of the year.

[00:25:36] You're funny.

[00:25:37] You're going to have to sell these calendars in June.

[00:25:39] Dude, February is this.

[00:25:40] We did a reprint.

[00:25:41] We got all the Jewish holidays on there.

[00:25:43] By the way, thank you.

[00:25:44] I would.

[00:25:45] If I was on tour, I would sell them in the summer because they're a beautiful collect.

[00:25:48] Calendars with the Jewish holidays only have the ones on it for the second half of the year.

[00:25:52] After the calendar is going sale, 75%.

[00:25:56] The Jewish calendar is after the August.

[00:26:00] The Jewish calendar is blank from January to June.

[00:26:06] The same on ink.

[00:26:07] And then it's discounted 50%.

[00:26:09] It's just timbered it.

[00:26:11] Why do I need to know what time it is just waiting for the snow melts?

[00:26:15] Then you start to then you start worrying about the days.

[00:26:19] Joshua Wannovich.

[00:26:22] Damn.

[00:26:23] Yeah, my name is Joshua Wannovich.

[00:26:27] I've found Stevie Tasa.

[00:26:30] It would be like a Jew.

[00:26:32] What are you talking about?

[00:26:34] Just like a mashup.

[00:26:35] We're doing mashup.

[00:26:36] Of a black woman.

[00:26:37] A racial mashup.

[00:26:38] A racial mashup.

[00:26:39] Oh, yeah.

[00:26:40] It was a racial mashup.

[00:26:42] There are a lot of Jewish men in there.

[00:26:44] The original mash.

[00:26:45] I like my name is Joshua Wannifonston.

[00:26:47] There are.

[00:26:49] That is true.

[00:26:50] Maurice is like a black guy or an old Jewish man.

[00:26:53] Yeah.

[00:26:54] Bernie is the same, honestly.

[00:26:55] Yeah.

[00:26:56] Bernie, you're either Mack or Sanders.

[00:26:58] Those are your options.

[00:26:59] There's no fucking like, you know, there's no fucking Iranian man named Bernie.

[00:27:06] Yeah, that's true.

[00:27:07] There's no Irish guys.

[00:27:08] Yeah, they don't have that name in Iran.

[00:27:11] You know what I'm saying.

[00:27:12] You got to be black or Jewish.

[00:27:13] Yeah.

[00:27:14] Well, there's no Greek guys named Bernie.

[00:27:16] There's no Greek guys named Bernie.

[00:27:18] That's true.

[00:27:19] Just a wah-choo'd comb.

[00:27:22] Just taste that jit.

[00:27:23] I actually did.

[00:27:24] I made up like six pounds of like, Barbie-Cola.

[00:27:28] Oh, nice.

[00:27:29] Hell yeah.

[00:27:30] What was your methodology?

[00:27:32] I just bought some like, pre-made, like, marinade.

[00:27:35] And then I...

[00:27:37] I'm trying to figure out how to use the Instant Pot.

[00:27:40] Because for the most part it sucks.

[00:27:42] But I put like, six pounds of Ive round in there.

[00:27:46] Love it.

[00:27:47] And then you put it on the Trivet.

[00:27:49] The little thing it comes with.

[00:27:51] And then you don't put any liquid in it.

[00:27:53] You just put like the marinade up to the bottom of the meat.

[00:27:56] And then you cook it for like, I don't know, like 80 minutes probably.

[00:28:01] And like, because it's sealed.

[00:28:05] It's steamy.

[00:28:06] It'll just, yeah, well it'll sweat all the liquid out of the meat.

[00:28:09] So you don't need to add liquid.

[00:28:11] And then once it's done, you pull the Trivet and then just saute it.

[00:28:15] And I love that.

[00:28:16] And I'll reduce it all and shred it.

[00:28:17] I haven't really used the Instant Pot honestly.

[00:28:19] Honestly it sucks.

[00:28:20] I mean...

[00:28:21] I got the fucking Zudgerissi, the fuzzy...

[00:28:23] The Nirofuzz.

[00:28:24] Nirofuzzi.

[00:28:25] This shit is like, it's okay.

[00:28:27] But if you did it in a crockpot and just spent the whole day with it, it would be amazing.

[00:28:31] Yeah.

[00:28:32] And that's what I want.

[00:28:33] I want amazing.

[00:28:34] Yeah.

[00:28:35] I just want to be happy in life.

[00:28:36] Yeah.

[00:28:37] I want to be...

[00:28:38] I want to be happy and not be a burden to...

[00:28:40] An emotional burden to the people around me.

[00:28:43] Yeah.

[00:28:44] And right now I'm hitting fucking nothing.

[00:28:46] You're over two currently.

[00:28:48] Yeah.

[00:28:49] Right now I am not firing on any of these things.

[00:28:53] But guess what Nick?

[00:28:54] You got a third strike and then you kill it.

[00:28:58] And there it goes.

[00:28:59] And I just left.

[00:29:00] And I'm off the team.

[00:29:02] And that's three.

[00:29:05] And I'm stopping by the bar on the way home.

[00:29:09] Yeah dude, that is the reality.

[00:29:12] Sometimes I think like, alright, I'm going to give it another go for 20 years.

[00:29:17] And after that, I am getting fucked up every day and getting fattish shit.

[00:29:21] Yeah.

[00:29:22] And then if I haven't figured it out, not even 20, I'll give myself 10 more years.

[00:29:27] I really honestly...

[00:29:28] If I haven't gotten a family figured it out, I'm just getting fucking...

[00:29:32] I'm just so fat.

[00:29:33] I'm going to drink myself to death.

[00:29:35] Yeah.

[00:29:36] We should do it dude.

[00:29:37] We should do the bucket list.

[00:29:39] That's how we get the bucket list.

[00:29:41] I was dying at 42.

[00:29:42] Yeah.

[00:29:43] What are some of the things you want to do before you die?

[00:29:47] Black tar haired man.

[00:29:52] I guess get pussy a few more times.

[00:29:55] Maybe the 200th person I fuck over the answer.

[00:30:01] Maybe that was the problem.

[00:30:03] I think I needed to cut myself off at 100.

[00:30:07] That's got to be 500.

[00:30:08] You got to fuck 500.

[00:30:11] And then you get it out of your sense.

[00:30:13] And then it's over and you can love it.

[00:30:15] I'm going to fuck one more person.

[00:30:18] And then it's time for a family.

[00:30:26] I watched this documentary about the villages in Florida.

[00:30:30] I was like that 100,000 person retirement.

[00:30:34] Oh yeah, like a town that's just old people.

[00:30:36] One of the guys in the documentary is just this old guy that's just like

[00:30:39] constantly doing yay and acid and stuff.

[00:30:41] Driving around on the golf carts.

[00:30:43] That's...

[00:30:44] I didn't fuck that.

[00:30:45] He used the dream.

[00:30:46] He gets arrested.

[00:30:47] Oh fuck yeah.

[00:30:48] He rules.

[00:30:49] I really do want to start drinking yet.

[00:30:52] But I would have to be very careful with it.

[00:30:54] No you can't dude.

[00:30:55] I can't.

[00:30:56] You probably could.

[00:30:57] I probably could.

[00:30:58] Honestly I probably could.

[00:31:00] It's very impressive how you stopped I have to say.

[00:31:02] It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

[00:31:04] It was.

[00:31:05] I remember shocked.

[00:31:07] I remember.

[00:31:08] When Nick was like yeah, you know because it's funny you say you can just decide to be happy.

[00:31:11] You did sort of just decide to stop drinking.

[00:31:13] No, but what I did is I decided to permanently be not happy for the sake of my career.

[00:31:18] I made you.

[00:31:19] I made you in New Orleans.

[00:31:20] And I was like I'm...

[00:31:22] I can't wait.

[00:31:23] I'm going to New Orleans with my biggest alcoholic friend.

[00:31:25] Yeah.

[00:31:26] It's going to be so much fun.

[00:31:28] I got there and you're like I do not drink.

[00:31:30] And I was like what do you mean?

[00:31:32] You were just expecting me in like a seer sucker.

[00:31:34] Yeah.

[00:31:35] I was like this is going to be so funny.

[00:31:36] I'm like yeah.

[00:31:37] You lived.

[00:31:38] We're going to find that dick Trains the boy.

[00:31:42] And we're going to fucking lose hands.

[00:31:46] I wanted to get Asian shit face.

[00:31:49] And shit faces fucking cousins.

[00:31:51] I thought you were going to have like those two yard stick like neon.

[00:31:55] Neon like drink.

[00:31:57] Those are awesome.

[00:31:58] My cousin.

[00:31:59] I have a cousin that got sober and he was like 24 and then he started drinking in 42.

[00:32:03] Yeah.

[00:32:04] He was like that's the way to do it.

[00:32:06] He was like I just busted my ass for 20 years and I'm rich.

[00:32:10] And that's what I'm saying.

[00:32:12] But also when you're that age it's like if you have like six beers you wake up the next

[00:32:17] day and you're in hell.

[00:32:18] Of course.

[00:32:19] It's sort of self-regulating.

[00:32:21] Yeah.

[00:32:22] I guess maybe give it a couple more years then.

[00:32:24] I don't know.

[00:32:25] I think now I would have to be in a position where there's like no way.

[00:32:28] I would have to get.

[00:32:29] I would have to have enough money to have a trust fund that I don't have access.

[00:32:33] Yeah.

[00:32:34] Alan Iverson.

[00:32:35] Yeah.

[00:32:36] Alan Iverson kept all his money away from himself until he was like 50 something.

[00:32:40] No I think like one of his friends did.

[00:32:42] Or one of his friends did.

[00:32:43] He was about to blow all his shit.

[00:32:44] One of his friends was like alright bro.

[00:32:45] It's not a bad idea.

[00:32:46] Absolutely not.

[00:32:47] And you could really just let yourself have fun.

[00:32:49] I mean Alan I'm zero this week.

[00:32:51] You used to fucking spend hundreds of thousands of dollars at TGI Friday.

[00:32:55] He did.

[00:32:56] He used to love getting fucked up in TGI Friday's.

[00:33:01] Oh fuck.

[00:33:03] There is a TGI Friday's by where I was going to school in DC where it was Friday night

[00:33:09] was a scene.

[00:33:10] It was popping.

[00:33:11] Like at the bar.

[00:33:12] I don't know how they got to go.

[00:33:13] They had DJs and stuff there.

[00:33:15] Yeah.

[00:33:16] Yeah.

[00:33:17] No.

[00:33:18] I mean you know depending on the city you're in it's just funny because DC and Philly are

[00:33:20] both real cities.

[00:33:22] Yeah I know.

[00:33:23] You could go to a regular bar.

[00:33:24] If you're an OKC or some shit you're in some bullshit fucking damn it.

[00:33:27] The TGI Friday's might be the only spot.

[00:33:29] Chili's just popping the fuck off.

[00:33:31] Yeah.

[00:33:32] What was your preferred chain restaurant of that?

[00:33:35] When I was a kid we went to Applebee's the most.

[00:33:39] Yeah but Applebee's fell off hard.

[00:33:41] Applebee's severely fell off hard.

[00:33:43] When it first came to the East Point Mall that was a fucking call.

[00:33:45] One of my, okay and I'm going to say this is Nick's in the bathroom right now but he'll

[00:33:50] hop on this because there's a cheap shoe element to it.

[00:33:53] Okay.

[00:33:54] One of my fondest memories my entire life was my dad and I were driving around.

[00:33:59] No.

[00:34:00] My dad and I were driving around and we're like oh there's a new Chili's and then there's

[00:34:04] a sign that said soft opening and we went in and for free.

[00:34:10] We feasted.

[00:34:11] Your dad was mad because it wasn't a man's ass.

[00:34:13] Yeah he was like oh here we go out of the soft opening.

[00:34:17] I hope it's my ass.

[00:34:20] I can't tell you why but we were just both so happy about that meal.

[00:34:25] We got to order whatever we wanted.

[00:34:26] It was free.

[00:34:27] It was free.

[00:34:28] And then yeah because it was the soft opening.

[00:34:30] Still you got to charge something.

[00:34:32] No it was completely free.

[00:34:33] Are you?

[00:34:34] And then we had to fill out like a questionnaire to say how they did and they were also trying

[00:34:38] really hard because they were just opening.

[00:34:41] So you just like the Chili's had another six months before it was absolute dog shit.

[00:34:45] The only way you know about that.

[00:34:47] We left our way and we were just driving down the road.

[00:34:50] We're going to get a taste test from you on this.

[00:34:52] Sure.

[00:34:53] On that Butterbeck car.

[00:34:54] Yeah.

[00:34:55] I love to do a taste test.

[00:34:57] Mmm.

[00:34:58] What do you think?

[00:35:07] I like it.

[00:35:08] It comes on I like the initial burst.

[00:35:11] It needs a little something on the back end I think.

[00:35:13] There's no fat in it.

[00:35:15] That's very good for no fat in it.

[00:35:17] That's incredibly good.

[00:35:18] Because the first bite is so flated.

[00:35:20] It actually reminds me of there's a meat pie Greek people make.

[00:35:22] Oh yeah.

[00:35:23] Can I add top it down.

[00:35:24] And that shit with a couple more onions would taste exactly.

[00:35:27] That's fucking good.

[00:35:28] Yeah.

[00:35:29] I use like a barbecue American just like some pre-made thing and then I also put like.

[00:35:35] Put like like two cups of Kirkland brand salsa in the bottom of it too.

[00:35:41] I love that salsa.

[00:35:42] Yeah.

[00:35:43] And then just like an old El Paso like chili seasoning mix.

[00:35:47] It's good.

[00:35:48] Yeah.

[00:35:49] You're right.

[00:35:50] The thing I mean.

[00:35:51] Honestly if you ever you could put a little olive oil just like I was going to say put

[00:35:54] this in a frying pan with some olive oil and like red pepper.

[00:35:58] Oh my god.

[00:35:59] It'd be great.

[00:36:00] But you know what even if we just microwave it it would be good because the flavor the

[00:36:03] flavor jumped out.

[00:36:05] I bet it would be fucking because just the warmth just a little bit of this warmth in

[00:36:08] the meat would make it go.

[00:36:10] Yeah.

[00:36:11] Oh yeah.

[00:36:12] Have you ever heard of a soft opening where you get to eat for free at a restaurant?

[00:36:18] This sucks.

[00:36:19] Now it's like now we've created a world where you have to be your own wife.

[00:36:22] Yeah that's true.

[00:36:23] You know.

[00:36:24] Well you got to get a wife.

[00:36:25] We could get wives.

[00:36:26] Yeah.

[00:36:27] It would just be kind of gay.

[00:36:28] You should go in from China Nick.

[00:36:29] I should.

[00:36:30] Yeah.

[00:36:31] That would be awesome.

[00:36:32] You just have a silent life with your wife.

[00:36:33] She sits over there.

[00:36:34] She sits over there by the $500 litter box.

[00:36:37] Yeah.

[00:36:38] People are like is that a wife?

[00:36:40] I'm like yeah.

[00:36:41] They're like cool.

[00:36:42] Yeah.

[00:36:43] I got them both off Amazon.

[00:36:45] Yeah.

[00:36:46] Yeah.

[00:36:47] No that would be great for you.

[00:36:49] And then she just goes shop.

[00:36:50] She gets really into designer brands like one of those like American Chinese wives.

[00:36:55] No.

[00:36:56] Like for like that like she's with like a like an old guy that like met her in the Navy.

[00:37:00] I want Marissa to me from my cousin Vinny.

[00:37:03] Well don't we all stop.

[00:37:05] But I'm going to get me one of those.

[00:37:07] That's the thing.

[00:37:08] My cousin Chiny.

[00:37:09] My cousin Chiny.

[00:37:10] I mean you're not you're not I travel into.

[00:37:13] She wouldn't.

[00:37:14] I'm a good I'm Mediterranean.

[00:37:15] I guess you are.

[00:37:16] You're all of a Mediterranean American.

[00:37:18] Thank you very much.

[00:37:21] And what's the crime that they dragged somebody dragged a black person behind the car and

[00:37:26] they're trying to fix my cousin Vinny.

[00:37:27] Yeah.

[00:37:28] Yeah.

[00:37:29] Yeah.

[00:37:30] She's like a 1963 Buick Skylog would not leave tie attracts like that.

[00:37:34] Yeah.

[00:37:35] That doesn't make any sense.

[00:37:36] I know.

[00:37:37] But she's so.

[00:37:38] My brother liked cars.

[00:37:39] Excuse me.

[00:37:40] She worked in the fucking shop.

[00:37:42] Okay.

[00:37:43] Did she?

[00:37:44] Yes.

[00:37:45] Don't besmirch my girl.

[00:37:46] Yeah.

[00:37:47] She knew trannies.

[00:37:48] I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid.

[00:37:49] That's pretty good for not.

[00:37:50] I just watched it maybe like for months.

[00:37:53] Well when I was a kid.

[00:37:54] So that's the thing is like I also now because of the phone and internet like the only me

[00:37:59] I use is just like hyper consume media.

[00:38:01] So I'd really watch movies over and over and over and over and over again.

[00:38:05] And honestly I've gotten back into that because it was like oh I don't have the attention

[00:38:08] to I don't have like the ability to pay attention to movies.

[00:38:11] And now I'll just watch a movie like five or six times.

[00:38:13] And that's what I like.

[00:38:14] Yeah.

[00:38:15] Like I watch a movie and then I'll immediately rewatch it and then watch it again afterwards

[00:38:19] and it's like oh this is what I used to do.

[00:38:21] Yeah.

[00:38:22] It's like I kind of lost this.

[00:38:23] But it's nice when you fucking don't have your phone dude.

[00:38:25] Yeah.

[00:38:26] I just watched oh you know what fucking rocks cock police story.

[00:38:30] Jackie Chase.

[00:38:31] Yeah.

[00:38:32] So sick.

[00:38:33] Got both of them.

[00:38:34] It's incredible.

[00:38:35] Yeah.

[00:38:36] I like the scene where he can't.

[00:38:37] Destroy that.

[00:38:38] Incredible.

[00:38:39] Yeah.

[00:38:40] And he directed it too.

[00:38:41] That motherfucker directed it.

[00:38:42] And he does all of these stuff.

[00:38:43] He's in almost every frame of the fucking credits where they show everyone getting injured.

[00:38:47] Yeah.

[00:38:48] It was what he's doing.

[00:38:49] Yeah.

[00:38:50] All the extras like getting injured and getting getting stretched off and he's like giving

[00:38:53] them a thumbs up.

[00:38:54] I love it.

[00:38:55] And it's like what I love about that movie is it starts with an incredible action set

[00:38:59] piece.

[00:39:00] It ends with an incredible action set piece.

[00:39:02] Yeah.

[00:39:03] I mean there's a couple good fights but it's like a slapstick like cartoon is the tone.

[00:39:08] Dude, her tone shifts so much.

[00:39:09] That's the movie that maybe want to go to China.

[00:39:11] I'm like is this what it's like?

[00:39:13] It is like a lot like police story.

[00:39:15] I can't understand.

[00:39:16] Well isn't that isn't it in Hong Kong's Hong Kong.

[00:39:18] They're wearing those fucking hilarious dude.

[00:39:20] That was one of the funniest parts of the movie.

[00:39:21] It's British.

[00:39:22] The Chinese lawyers are wearing fake ass British like wigs.

[00:39:27] Yeah they wear that in the courts.

[00:39:29] Yeah.

[00:39:30] So that's not what their hair would look like white.

[00:39:32] That's true.

[00:39:33] It's funny that like in most of like the world like everybody involved in the law or the

[00:39:39] courts has to dress like a clown.

[00:39:43] Is that it?

[00:39:44] Mostly I think it's in like the most of the common.

[00:39:46] It's like well we don't do that here and it's like we almost do.

[00:39:49] They're wearing the fucking wig.

[00:39:51] The robe is fucking stupid.

[00:39:52] Yeah if you're going to wear the robe wear the fucking wig.

[00:39:54] That should have you're right.

[00:39:55] The second that judge got caught like mask jacking off underneath.

[00:39:59] Yeah.

[00:40:00] You remember that?

[00:40:01] That was awesome.

[00:40:02] That would have been so awesome.

[00:40:04] That was just an incredible element.

[00:40:14] Yeah judge Edo.

[00:40:15] Migrue some spam Musa B and put his dick in between the rice and the spam and jacked

[00:40:21] off with it.

[00:40:23] That would probably feel pretty good.

[00:40:24] Take a look.

[00:40:26] It's in a book beating off.

[00:40:29] Yeah beating off beating off.

[00:40:34] So come on dick.

[00:40:37] Come on they're going to beat me off today.

[00:40:39] That's very sweet though.

[00:40:41] Hello please.

[00:40:42] Yes I think the blind guy from Star Trek is beating off my back.

[00:40:47] Get off my retarded son.

[00:40:49] Well this seems out of our purview.

[00:40:53] We're going to send dick Tracy over there.

[00:40:55] All right he doesn't I got a nickname.

[00:40:58] It couldn't have been him.

[00:40:59] Let me see here.

[00:41:00] What does he evidence say?

[00:41:01] Well I can't even see it's a retardic and he's wearing those glasses.

[00:41:04] He's called a press conference.

[00:41:06] Ladies and gentlemen this is clearly the work of beating off retard's face.

[00:41:11] This is a composite sketch I've done.

[00:41:16] A man with a wide jaw with a tattoo of a Down syndrome boy being masturbated on the

[00:41:22] forehead.

[00:41:23] Once again dick Tracy's solved the case.

[00:41:26] Dick Tracy's done it.

[00:41:27] He's unbelievable.

[00:41:28] Dick can you say what race he is?

[00:41:31] I don't you know it doesn't matter.

[00:41:33] There's you know social aspects to it and let's just say he might have had a couple burritos

[00:41:41] for lunch.

[00:41:42] I think the real question is is why do you care?

[00:41:44] Give me a description of him.

[00:41:47] It doesn't need to include race.

[00:41:49] How many guys are there with a tattoo of a guy with Down syndrome being beaten off on

[00:41:53] his forehead.

[00:41:54] Anyways he's out there in Oakland beating up Chinese beating.

[00:41:59] Anyway I'll put it this way it's kind of hard to make out the tattoo.

[00:42:04] It would be fun to make like a dick Tracy account and Twitter and then just reply to

[00:42:09] every every person like doing the like well who do you think's doing it on Twitter about

[00:42:14] like the you see that Asian hate crime thing.

[00:42:17] I did not see it.

[00:42:18] Oh there's like a big thing on Twitter about like these like Asian activists or like like

[00:42:23] elderly Asian people are being beaten up and we need to talk.

[00:42:26] Damn for real.

[00:42:27] Yeah but it's like it's all happening in like Oakland.

[00:42:30] I mean it's happening in like places in urban areas that all of them across the border experiencing

[00:42:35] an uptick in crime.

[00:42:36] There's no indication that they're like racially motivated.

[00:42:39] Yeah and then it's like I mean it's who do you think's doing it but it's either here

[00:42:46] nor there.

[00:42:47] Who's doing it though?

[00:42:48] I mean it's like Ninja?

[00:42:49] Yeah it's like Ninja.

[00:42:50] It's not in other ninjas that getting revenge for something that happened a long time ago.

[00:42:55] But you know it was funny to help from what I understand.

[00:42:57] Ninja is so amorized or enemies.

[00:43:00] There's people doing the like well who's doing it.

[00:43:03] I see I see I see.

[00:43:04] And then you just respond to them all as dick Tracy and he's like well it's beat up Chinese

[00:43:08] face.

[00:43:09] It's Chinese hating face.

[00:43:11] It's Chinese and it's it's tape face.

[00:43:16] What was every single one of them named something face?

[00:43:20] I think so.

[00:43:21] No.

[00:43:22] No they only only one of them was this baby face and then there was like I remember Dick

[00:43:28] Tracy had a hot second when we were children.

[00:43:32] Yeah I was I went as Dick Tracy to Halloween.

[00:43:36] There's pictures of me as well.

[00:43:38] I was wearing a yellow trench coat a yellow hat.

[00:43:42] It was pretty cute.

[00:43:44] I got to say no I thought I was pretty.

[00:43:46] I was Kevin Sorbo's hers to my it was to my pre K Halloween.

[00:43:50] Oh pre K that's pretty.

[00:43:51] Yeah.

[00:43:52] Yeah here they are.

[00:43:53] I was like Thor trigger doom black pearl was Dick Tracy even for kills Wally the czar

[00:44:00] little face Finney the mole.

[00:44:03] Skart all BB eyes and Defy.

[00:44:06] Yeah there's a lot of faith he's got a hearing aid.

[00:44:09] Oh that's funny.

[00:44:10] Defy's not even a niggas really.

[00:44:12] Well it's a lot of what he has related stuff.

[00:44:16] So he can read he can read lips.

[00:44:18] That's his superpower.

[00:44:19] Oh that's not bad.

[00:44:20] When did when did that movie come out 93 some like that.

[00:44:24] It was suck my dick Madonna was the chicken.

[00:44:27] She was hot.

[00:44:28] This guy named the blank who doesn't have a face at all.

[00:44:32] Oh that's that's what a nice day to just sort of check out at 3 p.m. for the cartoonists.

[00:44:38] Yeah.

[00:44:39] How about this guy.

[00:44:40] I'm not finished sketch guy.

[00:44:42] I don't know if the the mole looks familiar to you.

[00:44:46] Perhaps there's the mole.

[00:44:48] Perhaps the mole is a friend of ours.

[00:44:51] I wonder what kind of thing this kind of this kind of looks like a guy we know.

[00:44:57] Wonder what kind of themes they're drawing on with the mole.

[00:45:01] What kind of what are you looking up at him if you're not leading up stuff for the show

[00:45:05] you can't be on your phone.

[00:45:06] I was looking at the Dick Tracy villain.

[00:45:07] No you weren't.

[00:45:08] No.

[00:45:09] Come on guys.

[00:45:10] I think he looked like he's saying hey one of my sucker cat.

[00:45:14] Nice penis.

[00:45:15] That's what he looks like there.

[00:45:17] Joe lists saying nice penis was Dick Tracy a comic book.

[00:45:22] Yeah nice penis.

[00:45:23] Very nice penis.

[00:45:25] The mole really nice penis on that guy.

[00:45:28] Everybody's talking about Joe Biden.

[00:45:31] I'd like to bite into his ass.

[00:45:33] That's pretty good.

[00:45:34] I'd like to take a big bite out of Joe's asshole.

[00:45:37] Yeah you know sucking dick bow visited their house.

[00:45:41] Dude.

[00:45:42] All right Pete.

[00:45:43] Don't say that about bow.

[00:45:44] He got sucked off the by Star Trek by what's his face.

[00:45:50] LaVar Burton.

[00:45:51] LaVar Burton.

[00:45:52] Yeah probably.

[00:45:53] Suck a dick.

[00:45:54] It's in a book.

[00:45:56] LaVar Burton.

[00:45:57] Beat it off bow yeah.

[00:46:01] Beat it off boom.

[00:46:02] I wish I was LaVar Burton.

[00:46:04] Yeah me too.

[00:46:05] Why don't you try and become him.

[00:46:08] Try and become Jordi.

[00:46:09] Try and become LaVar Burton in every meaningful way.

[00:46:13] Like read children books.

[00:46:16] Try and become an actor.

[00:46:18] You know.

[00:46:19] Yeah that would be cool.

[00:46:21] Try and become black.

[00:46:22] No.

[00:46:23] See I said meaningful and that goes to show your racism.

[00:46:25] No if you think a person's race defines them.

[00:46:28] It was meaningful to him when he became trans racial.

[00:46:31] He was actually born Italian.

[00:46:34] That's true.

[00:46:36] He did a good job.

[00:46:37] If that's the case.

[00:46:39] Yeah.

[00:46:40] Shut up.

[00:46:41] What happened?

[00:46:42] I just fucked this all over.

[00:46:43] Oh boy.

[00:46:44] There's a movie about a fort that falls on ground.

[00:46:47] I'm pretty the only problem with police story.

[00:46:49] You didn't see any fucking breasts.

[00:46:51] You almost do.

[00:46:52] Yeah.

[00:46:53] Some Chinese breasts.

[00:46:54] I love it.

[00:46:55] I love it.

[00:46:56] He's very violent.

[00:46:57] You fucking racist.

[00:46:58] He's very violent to his girl.

[00:46:59] If wanting to look at Chinese breasts make me a racist then fucking sign me up for the

[00:47:03] cake.

[00:47:04] His girlfriend gets beat up a lot in that movie.

[00:47:07] Does she?

[00:47:08] With this scene where he grabs her by the backpack when she's on the...

[00:47:12] He actually is abusive by accident.

[00:47:15] He's pretty accidentally abusive.

[00:47:17] And then she gets...

[00:47:18] You just can't tell if she gets thrown down the stairs.

[00:47:20] He's still here.

[00:47:21] Rumbled in the Bronx.

[00:47:22] He broke his leg and so they just put a cast on him.

[00:47:24] Rumbled in the Bronx.

[00:47:25] He painted the cast like a sneaker.

[00:47:27] And then he was barefoot water skiing on the cast.

[00:47:31] That fucking rocks.

[00:47:32] He's so hard to catch.

[00:47:34] Yeah, he's the coolest guy.

[00:47:35] And then Jackie Chan's the absolute beast of all action stars.

[00:47:39] Jackie Chan is at the very top.

[00:47:41] And then the very bottom is probably...

[00:47:44] It's either Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal.

[00:47:48] Chuck Norris actually could do martial arts though, right?

[00:47:51] Could he though?

[00:47:52] That was like all those guys from the seven is like the first karate class ever offered.

[00:47:58] Yeah.

[00:47:59] You could get black gold in about the same suite.

[00:48:01] I got a black belt.

[00:48:02] Especially with extra points if you went to like age.

[00:48:06] That was like...

[00:48:07] Right.

[00:48:08] Oh, he actually went to age.

[00:48:09] Yeah, I learned karate and nom.

[00:48:12] Yeah.

[00:48:13] They're like, that's not where it's from.

[00:48:15] I actually...

[00:48:16] I don't think I've seen it in his prime Chuck Norris movie ever.

[00:48:19] Well, he thought Bruce Lee once, right?

[00:48:21] Or something?

[00:48:22] I don't know.

[00:48:23] Oh, really?

[00:48:24] That's cool.

[00:48:25] I only watched Walker, Texas, Ranger.

[00:48:26] Me too.

[00:48:27] That's how I know him.

[00:48:28] And of course, the Chuck Norris jokes took him.

[00:48:32] Those were epic.

[00:48:33] Those were honestly epic sauce.

[00:48:35] Yeah.

[00:48:36] Those were epic.

[00:48:37] I love those when I was like in sixth grade, I was like, dude Chuck Norris rules.

[00:48:43] And then he's in dodge ball.

[00:48:44] Sucker Cox's Ranger.

[00:48:45] Sucker Cox's Ranger.

[00:48:46] Pardon me, this is Cox's.

[00:48:48] It's what?

[00:48:50] Sucker Cox's.

[00:48:51] Sucker Cox's.

[00:48:52] So it's the great state of Cox's.

[00:48:53] The great state of Cox's.

[00:48:54] The Prince Women's Penis.

[00:48:55] I don't know.

[00:48:56] You call me Sucker.

[00:48:57] Cox's Ranger.

[00:48:58] Listen, officer, I really don't know what you're talking about.

[00:49:00] So can I put my pants back on?

[00:49:03] No, I don't think this is a routine traffic stop.

[00:49:07] Show me your penis.

[00:49:08] Damn, now I want to rewatch Heller Highwater.

[00:49:10] That's a fucking good movie.

[00:49:13] That's a fucking bangerine ski.

[00:49:14] Feller guy water.

[00:49:16] Yeah, I'm about to start watching.

[00:49:19] Feller?

[00:49:20] I've been on the road a long time here in Woodmont taking a sip off of your guy water.

[00:49:26] Well, kind of water or Feller makes.

[00:49:30] It was tubes.

[00:49:31] Pardon me.

[00:49:32] I'm just parched.

[00:49:33] I'm not.

[00:49:34] I'm parched, but I'm parched from being in Mexico and I was wondering if I could maybe

[00:49:42] drink from your tube.

[00:49:44] I just want a nice drink deep.

[00:49:47] I just want, well, there's a Starbucks across the street.

[00:49:50] I don't know.

[00:49:51] I'm not fancy like Starbucks.

[00:49:53] Starbucks fell off about five years.

[00:49:55] I don't have any money.

[00:49:57] So I was wondering maybe I could take a sip off your tube.

[00:50:00] I'll give you $4.

[00:50:02] I have water right here.

[00:50:04] I'm 25 cents short for a frappuccino.

[00:50:07] He's 35 of this.

[00:50:09] And I don't want to drink water at Starbucks.

[00:50:11] Why don't you just let me shut your cocks.

[00:50:14] I'm sucking.

[00:50:15] You goddamn motherfucker.

[00:50:16] Why don't we stop playing Tom Dick and Harry?

[00:50:19] I'll make it real easy for you.

[00:50:22] Pull out your penis.

[00:50:23] I understand why you got to get all on the scrap over me just asking you to suck you

[00:50:28] off.

[00:50:29] I'm doing you a fake.

[00:50:30] I'm the one doing the work here.

[00:50:33] I came all the way for many old GGR.

[00:50:38] Just to get a director, just to get a drink.

[00:50:41] Just a lonely man on the road looking for a nice cool drink of corn.

[00:50:49] And just to put it on ice.

[00:50:51] If you don't mind, put your balls in this bad ice.

[00:50:55] Put your balls in my mouth.

[00:50:58] I got a couple ice cubes in my mouth.

[00:51:01] It'll feel real good.

[00:51:02] You got to put it.

[00:51:03] You're digging his mouth slow.

[00:51:08] You got to suck him off.

[00:51:13] You're subject too fast.

[00:51:16] You're not going to get enough calm.

[00:51:17] That's where you got to bring him to the edge and walk him back.

[00:51:20] And every time you do that, it's building up load in his prostate.

[00:51:26] The way of 15 hours, you blow a man and strap to a chair.

[00:51:31] When they finally bust, you got to, you can drink, get enough fuel to go another week

[00:51:35] out into the desert.

[00:51:36] Before you go out into the desert, the guy you got.

[00:51:41] I didn't know that.

[00:51:43] What the hell are you talking about?

[00:51:45] I thought we were here to race cars.

[00:51:48] Do you have four dollars?

[00:51:50] I'm trying to go to Starbucks.

[00:51:54] Fuck man.

[00:51:56] Yeah.

[00:51:58] Robert Duvall, is he related to Shelley Duvall?

[00:52:05] I don't think so.

[00:52:07] I don't think Shelley Duvall is related to anyone.

[00:52:09] I think she's just a poor woman from Texas that wanted to become an actress and then

[00:52:13] was abused psychologically by the industry.

[00:52:16] Damn, that stinks.

[00:52:17] Yeah, she was cool.

[00:52:19] There's a lot of cool teeth.

[00:52:20] It's funny, there's stories of like, actually, well, I don't know if it's really funny,

[00:52:24] but there's stories of actresses that like, killed themselves.

[00:52:26] And I was like, oh yeah, she suffered from like, mental health issues.

[00:52:30] And now after like, all that meat to shit, it's like, I don't know if it was.

[00:52:34] No, ever to do rape to her.

[00:52:36] Yeah, right.

[00:52:37] Yeah.

[00:52:38] Maybe we should fucking, maybe we should, maybe you should do a movie about somebody that

[00:52:42] snipes rapists.

[00:52:43] That'd be good.

[00:52:44] What?

[00:52:45] Like we wanted.

[00:52:46] Yeah, you can bend the bullets.

[00:52:47] Yeah, you bend the bullets to shoot their dick and balls and one fell swoop.

[00:52:54] Well, all rapists, we do, we're basically all the new has code in it.

[00:52:59] And the cold tells us who are going to rape us.

[00:53:02] But this is a pretty fucked up system.

[00:53:06] You guys got here.

[00:53:07] Well, part of an international league of rapists who controls the lume.

[00:53:13] I do.

[00:53:14] This is spider.

[00:53:15] This is taco.

[00:53:17] This is Johnny 37.

[00:53:18] That's a pretty cool character.

[00:53:25] A guy who rapes a lot.

[00:53:26] A guy who rapes a lot.

[00:53:28] And he's like, it would be Johnny.

[00:53:30] What was it?

[00:53:31] 500 or whatever.

[00:53:32] Right.

[00:53:33] He says, yeah, he's like, by the way, I've raped more than what I get.

[00:53:36] They never have the anti here.

[00:53:37] Like Tony Soprano kills a lot of people, right?

[00:53:40] And we all root for him.

[00:53:42] But what if he just raped a lot of people?

[00:53:44] Why can't we root for that?

[00:53:45] You know what's interesting is an anti hero.

[00:53:48] What's interesting is, I guess murder is worse than rape.

[00:53:51] But it is, I think we're conditioned by media to forgive murder.

[00:53:55] Why can't we have a pedophile Tony?

[00:53:57] And we're like, we're like, we know he's about molesting children.

[00:54:01] We know.

[00:54:02] We know.

[00:54:03] We got an idea for a movie.

[00:54:05] We know he's the bad guy, but we all love him.

[00:54:08] Hit me with a call out.

[00:54:10] What do you got?

[00:54:12] It's a pedophile Tony Soprano.

[00:54:15] Hello, Clint.

[00:54:18] Are you still there?

[00:54:20] Sorry about that.

[00:54:23] I accidentally hung up.

[00:54:25] You were saying it's pedophile Tony Soprano.

[00:54:27] That's the best idea I ever heard.

[00:54:30] I love it.

[00:54:31] Oh, I thought you hung up on me for a second.

[00:54:34] No, that would be racist.

[00:54:36] I'm trying to keep that in check these days.

[00:54:42] My last movie I worked with an Italian guy with an unfortunate name, and now I've got

[00:54:46] a lot of heat on me.

[00:54:48] Any of you are.

[00:54:51] We're going to change his name.

[00:54:57] I guess we got to change his name if he wants to work in America.

[00:55:01] Yeah, if he wants to work in this town again.

[00:55:04] He wants to suck me off.

[00:55:06] It's pretty wild that Italians were doing the best Westerns.

[00:55:13] Them and American.

[00:55:14] No.

[00:55:15] You guys did yourself one question.

[00:55:18] Italians did it better, bro.

[00:55:19] You fucking eat it.

[00:55:20] John for us, pretty good.

[00:55:21] He's all right.

[00:55:22] He's no N-E-O-G-G-R.

[00:55:23] That guy just did the music.

[00:55:27] The music rules, dude.

[00:55:29] The music does rule.

[00:55:30] I like when the electric guitar comes in.

[00:55:33] Yes.

[00:55:34] Because he always has shredders coming in.

[00:55:35] He's always shreds out of nowhere.

[00:55:37] Yeah, it is pretty cool.

[00:55:39] Damn.

[00:55:40] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[00:55:42] Dude, I just want to fucking watch full movies day in the after shit.

[00:55:45] I've been doing that lately.

[00:55:47] That's awesome.

[00:55:48] I'm jealous.

[00:55:49] It's the first two in the morning or great.

[00:55:50] Yeah, the later two at night are very sad.

[00:55:52] You have a little headache, and very depressing.

[00:55:54] You have a light headache.

[00:55:55] You're like, fuck.

[00:55:56] It's like 7 p.m. again.

[00:55:57] I have it in so many days in a row.

[00:55:59] I have no idea.

[00:56:00] I'm just wasting my time.

[00:56:01] I haven't spoken an audible word.

[00:56:03] No, that sounds awesome.

[00:56:05] As long as you're getting swole, though, at some point, that's my fucking plan for the

[00:56:10] rest of the winter.

[00:56:11] Yeah.

[00:56:12] Movies and getting swole.

[00:56:13] Da da da da da da da.

[00:56:16] Da da da da da.

[00:56:17] My dick's small.

[00:56:19] My dick's small.

[00:56:20] Da da da da da.

[00:56:21] I've never had such.

[00:56:24] Um, what?

[00:56:25] What?

[00:56:26] Yeah.

[00:56:27] So what's your mission?

[00:56:29] Can I fuck you?

[00:56:30] I should put together a watch list.

[00:56:32] So I feel like I'm accomplishing something.

[00:56:34] Which would I've been meaning to do?

[00:56:36] Yeah.

[00:56:37] I never get quite around to it.

[00:56:38] You know what you should do is take notes while you watch the movies.

[00:56:41] No, that's good.

[00:56:42] You don't do that.

[00:56:43] No.

[00:56:44] I've tried to.

[00:56:45] I've tried.

[00:56:46] Fuck that.

[00:56:47] Why, man?

[00:56:48] Because it feels like you're...

[00:56:51] But what do you want to be?

[00:56:53] Who are you trying to be doing that?

[00:56:57] Because it's not you because you're a jury.

[00:56:59] I take notes.

[00:57:00] I take notes on all of you.

[00:57:01] No, it's...

[00:57:02] I take notes on all the dresses.

[00:57:03] It's you getting drunk off some kind of like...

[00:57:06] Listen, I haven't even thought of this as...

[00:57:08] Instead of being a different guy.

[00:57:09] The fact that you're doing one, two, one...

[00:57:11] It's a way that I have active...

[00:57:12] ...act that you would have active.

[00:57:13] ...t

[00:57:10] ...act that you would have active.

[00:57:13] Because you're not even taking notes.

[00:57:34] Those are the two people we shine to impress.

[00:57:36] Absolutely.

[00:57:37] The two types of cool.

[00:57:40] But I don't understand it because you seem like you also just enjoy your life.

[00:57:45] No, I just do.

[00:57:46] If you do, no.

[00:57:48] It wants to be a cool movie guy.

[00:57:50] I suggested you take notes because I said maybe that would help you, but you won't

[00:57:56] feel like you're accomplishing something you want to take.

[00:57:58] No, I mean, the reason...

[00:58:00] I have not accomplished a single...

[00:58:03] There's no higher feature or...

[00:58:04] There's no deep note.

[00:58:05] There's no deep problem that I have.

[00:58:07] It's just like internal...

[00:58:08] I don't know about that.

[00:58:09] You've got plenty of problems.

[00:58:11] The issue with not being able to enjoy movies and shit is that I'm just overstimulated by

[00:58:19] quick uptake media with the fucking phone.

[00:58:22] And get rid of that, then you can probably dial it back and get back into consuming slow

[00:58:27] things like TV and shit.

[00:58:28] I know it can because I've done it.

[00:58:31] It's just then you're like, wow, I did have a nice day watching movies.

[00:58:36] Time to look at the internet.

[00:58:37] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:58:38] No, dude, I'm about to be fucking Zen-stop for us, dude.

[00:58:42] I'm reading a book.

[00:58:43] I think I was saying this off the mic.

[00:58:44] I'm not looking at your phone.

[00:58:45] But these are all these things that were already procrastination and things you did because

[00:58:48] you enjoyed it.

[00:58:50] And it somehow got a hijack by the thing that only makes your life worse.

[00:58:53] I've never had a...

[00:58:55] In the last five years...

[00:58:56] Well, three years.

[00:58:58] I have not made my life better by looking at my phone once ever.

[00:59:02] That's true.

[00:59:04] Ever.

[00:59:05] And originally it was like, oh, cool, you can post jokes and people like it.

[00:59:11] And now it's just like, let's see what this fucking dickhead said.

[00:59:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:59:17] That's why I'm telling you, bro, I'm about to be Zen-stop.

[00:59:19] And the worst part is, these are incredibly trite basic observations that everyone understands.

[00:59:25] I know.

[00:59:26] That's the true insidious nature.

[00:59:28] And then you still can't stop.

[00:59:31] I'm going to stop.

[00:59:33] Yeah.

[00:59:34] I just, I have to have my listicles, dude.

[00:59:37] I have to do my click through.

[00:59:38] You have to suck some testicles is what you need to do.

[00:59:40] I have to do my testicles.

[00:59:42] You have to suck my fight little nuts.

[00:59:44] I have to suck your dick.

[00:59:45] Schler.

[00:59:46] I need to suck your dick.

[00:59:49] Somebody sucked that baby's dick.

[00:59:52] Wow, Nick left it.

[00:59:54] One minute left, he couldn't have made it for...

[00:59:56] Actually left it.

[00:59:57] Four.

[00:59:58] Three.

[00:59:59] Two.

[01:00:00] One.

[01:00:01] Thanks for listening here, everyone.

[01:00:03] I don't know how to stop it or I would have stopped it right at one.

[01:00:06] You press the green and then the red.

[01:00:08] Actually, I don't know.

[01:00:09] I'm too nervous to see it.

[01:00:10] I'm too nervous to see it.

[01:00:11] I don't want to fuck it up.

[01:00:12] Because the buttons of the game...

[01:00:13] The episode is over now, everyone.

[01:00:14] Since Nick left the recorder in his car, the buttons have changed.

[01:00:17] So we're not stopping them in case we delete the whole episode of MooGos.

[01:00:21] I really don't want it to do the whole episode.

[01:00:23] We lose gold like Enio and Faggotface.

[01:00:29] Let's not forget that classic bit.

[01:00:31] And the license plate, that was pretty fine.

[01:00:34] Yes, the name of the letterman license plate.

[01:00:39] But just for all intents and purposes, understand that the episode is now over.

[01:00:43] We're waiting for Nick to press the button.

[01:00:45] All right, Nick's back and he's going to...

[01:00:47] We're waiting for Nick to press the button.