[00:00:00] I'm okay.

[00:00:01] I'm a fucking fan.

[00:00:03] Nice.

[00:00:04] I just need to make sure everything's right here.

[00:00:14] Are we right?

[00:00:15] Are we going?

[00:00:16] I think everything's good.

[00:00:17] Are we recording?

[00:00:18] Yeah.

[00:00:19] All right.

[00:00:20] Hello.

[00:00:21] Welcome to the premium episode of your favorite podcast.

[00:00:26] Uh, cereal.

[00:00:30] This week, Lucky Charms.

[00:00:32] Uh-huh.

[00:00:33] It's surreal.

[00:00:34] Get it.

[00:00:35] I do fun with Lucky Charms though for real.

[00:00:38] You guys talk for a minute.

[00:00:40] I'm going to read this article about the Metroid Prime trilogy potentially being released

[00:00:44] on Switch.

[00:00:45] Are they showing?

[00:00:46] Do you get right on that?

[00:00:47] Do you see this pussy on it?

[00:00:48] You know what I do?

[00:00:49] I Google this like once every six months.

[00:00:50] Yeah.

[00:00:51] This is not going to happen.

[00:00:52] Oh.

[00:00:53] It's not on Switch yet.

[00:00:54] What I want is I want the Metroid Prime trilogy to come out on Switch.

[00:00:58] I buy it.

[00:00:59] I start playing the first one.

[00:01:00] I'm like, this is going to be great.

[00:01:02] And then something's missing.

[00:01:03] And then I get on drugs.

[00:01:04] And then I'm like, something's missing.

[00:01:06] And then I end up just staring at the Apple TV menu for 15 hours.

[00:01:10] That sounds pretty awesome.

[00:01:11] I'm going to move.

[00:01:12] I've actually, you know what?

[00:01:13] I like, um, I have been, I have been, I got back into Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

[00:01:18] Nice.

[00:01:19] Oh, nice.

[00:01:20] After Jaz Whedon was a user, you're like, I'm back in.

[00:01:23] Right.

[00:01:24] Like, you know, lately I have my attention span has been ruined.

[00:01:26] I can't read or watch movies.

[00:01:28] And it's like, yeah, that's because like my brain is set up for watching shit that requires

[00:01:33] zero thinking.

[00:01:35] It's like that's, that was the issue is I was trying to watch it like madman when I should

[00:01:41] have been watching Maury.

[00:01:42] Oh, dude.

[00:01:43] Maury fucking rocks.

[00:01:44] I haven't I had a great two hours.

[00:01:47] We were crushing Maury.

[00:01:48] We did this thing.

[00:01:49] We did not the father compliment.

[00:01:50] Best of my brother, George.

[00:01:52] Heat.

[00:01:53] I go to Baltimore.

[00:01:55] I visit.

[00:01:56] He is not doing it as a bit.

[00:01:58] He's just watching Maury endlessly.

[00:02:02] We were, I, dude, I had such a nice time visiting.

[00:02:04] That's what happened.

[00:02:05] They came out with good TV shows and you're like, wow, this is like, you know, sopranos

[00:02:08] or whatever, but TV's not supposed to be that all the time.

[00:02:11] Yeah.

[00:02:12] No, no, no, no.

[00:02:13] Absolutely not.

[00:02:14] You're supposed to be like that.

[00:02:15] A very rare amount of time.

[00:02:16] It's got it.

[00:02:17] What it's supposed to be.

[00:02:18] It's like eating.

[00:02:19] You go to a steakhouse.

[00:02:20] You get a nice steak.

[00:02:21] You're like, this is fucking nice.

[00:02:22] You'd have a heart attack.

[00:02:23] You need Cheetos.

[00:02:24] You're supposed to be sitting on the couch.

[00:02:26] Steakums.

[00:02:27] Eating bowl after bowl of honey nut Cheerios.

[00:02:29] I mean, that's a crack.

[00:02:31] Yeah.

[00:02:32] Yeah.

[00:02:33] With smoking rock, getting the beat.

[00:02:35] Having a little meeting with Mr. Cheerios.

[00:02:37] Yeah.

[00:02:38] The honey be sucking your ass.

[00:02:39] I got a four, four, 30, a five and a six, 30 with Mr. honey nut Cheerios and the beat.

[00:02:45] Goddamn.

[00:02:46] I love letting them soak and sucking down those soft ass little things.

[00:02:49] I want them to put the wand in my ass.

[00:02:51] Please.

[00:02:52] I'm going to lick all the honey.

[00:02:53] Yeah.

[00:02:54] Get his own come out of my ass with the wand.

[00:02:56] Like, look at the honeycomb.

[00:02:57] I want the Cheerios being to put his honey wand in the charm and bears ass and then lick

[00:03:01] it out.

[00:03:02] Yeah.

[00:03:03] That would be hot.

[00:03:04] The smacks.

[00:03:05] The smacks be deep-throated.

[00:03:06] The smacks frog, the lick it out of the charm and bears ass.

[00:03:08] That would really get me off.

[00:03:09] Dude, I would love to have my Chester watches and pizza off.

[00:03:12] I would love to have my asshole.

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:15] I'm not gay.

[00:03:16] I'm a freak.

[00:03:17] I'm just a fucking...

[00:03:18] I'm just a freak.

[00:03:19] I'm pan.

[00:03:20] I'm a freak.

[00:03:21] I'm going to make a sexy cereal for kids.

[00:03:24] Imagine your ass, balls and dick all on that frog's tongue.

[00:03:28] The smacks.

[00:03:29] Sexy charms.

[00:03:30] The smacks.

[00:03:31] Yeah, dude.

[00:03:32] That would feel awesome.

[00:03:33] Frosted tips.

[00:03:34] That would be sick.

[00:03:36] If he was good enough with his tongue, he could like move it back and forth and jerk

[00:03:40] off your dick balls and ass at the same time.

[00:03:42] Wow.

[00:03:43] That would probably feel so good.

[00:03:44] It's hard as more out of what you're sexy cereal for kids, Adam.

[00:03:48] Well, I don't know.

[00:03:49] They use cocoa nipples.

[00:03:52] Maybe cocoa nipples.

[00:03:53] Fruity nipples.

[00:03:54] Yeah.

[00:03:55] B

[00:04:11] It didn't even taste like chocolate.

[00:04:26] Betty.

[00:04:27] Betty was Barney's bitch.

[00:04:28] Well, Barney's bitch.

[00:04:29] She has the best neck in the...

[00:04:31] We talked about it.

[00:04:33] It's so fucked up that they made Rosie O'Donnell, Betty.

[00:04:37] Yeah.

[00:04:38] She was way hot in the car too.

[00:04:39] I remember the one that shot at the plus-size lesbian community, but...

[00:04:43] Come the fuck on.

[00:04:44] No, those are some shots, dude.

[00:04:45] You know, I'm gonna take them.

[00:04:46] Are you?

[00:04:47] Yes.

[00:04:48] All right.

[00:04:49] If you're big and Lizzie, get out of my way.

[00:04:51] That was such a bad movie.

[00:04:53] I loved it as a kid, but I said I'm fuckin' pissed.

[00:04:56] I'm being loved.

[00:04:57] I remember being horrifically disappointed by it.

[00:04:59] Yeah, it was a disappointment.

[00:05:01] I remember the fucking...

[00:05:02] Remember anything?

[00:05:03] It's like Fred has a job, and then they go bowling.

[00:05:06] Yeah, when he surfs...

[00:05:07] When he surfs down the dinosaurs back when he gets off of work and he's carrying his

[00:05:14] lump shell.

[00:05:15] That's awesome.

[00:05:16] It looks very cool.

[00:05:17] That's awesome.

[00:05:18] Yeah, in the cartoon.

[00:05:19] Okay, there was maybe too much plot and there was like a double cross.

[00:05:22] Fine.

[00:05:23] But Halle Berry was so hot.

[00:05:24] Wait, are you talking about Flintstones Rock Vegas?

[00:05:26] No.

[00:05:27] The original?

[00:05:28] The original.

[00:05:29] Isn't that the one that was in?

[00:05:30] Viva Rock Vegas.

[00:05:31] Isn't that the one?

[00:05:32] Isn't the original where Barney switches tests with Fred?

[00:05:35] Yes.

[00:05:36] And Fred thinks he's smart.

[00:05:37] He's too big for his bridges.

[00:05:38] Barney is Rick Moran.

[00:05:39] Barney is Rick Moranish with the fucking peroxide with the gay guy that just went through a

[00:05:43] breakup haircut.

[00:05:44] Yeah, yeah.

[00:05:45] Gay guy trying to be young again.

[00:05:47] 55 years old.

[00:05:49] Yes, he looks 6.3 million dollars in the bank.

[00:05:54] He looks fucked up.

[00:05:55] Yeah.

[00:05:56] Yeah, just sinewy.

[00:05:57] He's been doing so many ab workouts.

[00:05:59] Yeah, he's ready to get back out there and get a 22 year old Cuban.

[00:06:03] All right.

[00:06:04] Well, you're pretty nervous.

[00:06:05] Right at the bottom of your dress.

[00:06:08] Who was Wilma?

[00:06:09] Who played Wilma?

[00:06:11] I don't know.

[00:06:12] But Susan Saran.

[00:06:13] Did she?

[00:06:14] That's awesome.

[00:06:15] Yeah.

[00:06:16] Was that really her?

[00:06:17] No.

[00:06:18] It was Susan.

[00:06:19] She would be great.

[00:06:20] She would be great.

[00:06:21] She could get us to this day.

[00:06:24] What's up with her?

[00:06:25] Who is her daughter?

[00:06:26] Who?

[00:06:27] Susan Saran is?

[00:06:28] She's got big ass to these, her daughter as well.

[00:06:30] Damn.

[00:06:31] I'd like the Susan Saran wrap my cock.

[00:06:33] Yeah.

[00:06:34] I'd use that use Saran wrap.

[00:06:36] Very prophylacic.

[00:06:37] Well, Susan Saran wrap my cock.

[00:06:40] Say it's wearing a condom.

[00:06:42] Yeah, yeah.

[00:06:43] That's slang.

[00:06:44] You don't want to get it.

[00:06:45] It's putting on the Susan Saran wrap.

[00:06:49] Or actually that's fucking her.

[00:06:52] If she throws the Susan Saran wrap on your dick, it's her pussy so tight.

[00:06:56] It's like it'd be fun to fuck Susan Saran then and then like two or three pumps in just

[00:07:02] like oh, oh my God.

[00:07:05] She's like what?

[00:07:06] And you're like well, I guess I came already and you're like looks like a regular suddenly

[00:07:10] Susan situation.

[00:07:11] Oh yeah, and this should be like that.

[00:07:13] She's like I'm not on the pill.

[00:07:15] I'm like well, you're 87 years old.

[00:07:17] Yeah, you're fine.

[00:07:18] She's definitely still conceived.

[00:07:20] Absolutely.

[00:07:21] She looks so fertile.

[00:07:22] The MTTT could be nine years old.

[00:07:23] Those TTTs could feed a whole nursery with no questions asked.

[00:07:29] I just can't.

[00:07:30] I just got Susan Saranthony Hopkins.

[00:07:32] Okay, and he's just got awesome tits.

[00:07:34] Yeah.

[00:07:35] Did you like this?

[00:07:36] Would you like to suck my tits?

[00:07:38] We were about to say that in complete unison if I didn't start laughing.

[00:07:46] Would you like to suck my tits?

[00:07:49] Would you like to suck my tits?

[00:07:52] Dr. Lector.

[00:07:54] Yes.

[00:07:55] If it's the only way to stop Buffalo Bill, it's only way to stop but fuck a low bill.

[00:08:03] But I love it.

[00:08:05] I mean, Starlin, we need you in on this.

[00:08:06] There's a guy having gay sex.

[00:08:08] He's gotta be as you know, it's illegal.

[00:08:10] He's like we brought the justice.

[00:08:12] Having a great sex is illegal.

[00:08:14] It's got by the name of but fuck a little bill that's sending videos of his asshole.

[00:08:19] Luke and come to the FBI.

[00:08:22] He's threatening or Starlin, but fuck a little bill.

[00:08:28] I still haven't seen the movie but I'm a titty fucking an old friend for dinner.

[00:08:34] Final line.

[00:08:37] Assuming that for Dora and a big parrot is Susan Saranthony Hopkins.

[00:08:42] Damn.

[00:08:43] I wonder if I could, if I were looking at nude Susan Saranthony Hopkins, fully nude if I

[00:08:49] could bust.

[00:08:51] If I love breasts so much that it could overcome how much I don't want to look at his face

[00:08:56] or suddenly develop face blindness and then just focus on the breasts.

[00:09:01] How good is my ability to focus is a great question.

[00:09:04] I know.

[00:09:05] I would love to be put to the test.

[00:09:06] That's how you know if you really love tits as much as I say I do.

[00:09:10] Unfortunately, there's no way to know.

[00:09:12] That's true.

[00:09:14] I think I could.

[00:09:15] It would be tough but I think I would eke it out.

[00:09:17] Yeah.

[00:09:18] I do, I have a Jack off the Susan Saranthony's breast for sure.

[00:09:22] Damn.

[00:09:23] I've got a handkerchief for some cracker jacks for some reason.

[00:09:26] Oh yeah?

[00:09:27] Yeah.

[00:09:28] I get something a million years old now.

[00:09:29] I was never a cracker jacks guy.

[00:09:31] Me either.

[00:09:32] They get stuck in your teeth kind of.

[00:09:34] Seems like you would like caramel popcorn.

[00:09:37] I'm not a big sweets person.

[00:09:39] What do you know?

[00:09:40] Shut up.

[00:09:41] There are some sweet stuffs I do.

[00:09:42] I just realized how annoying you're dressed.

[00:09:44] You're fucking wine jeans and you're fucking.

[00:09:47] They're not wine.

[00:09:48] They're brown jeans.

[00:09:49] Shut the fuck up dude.

[00:09:50] Are you calling these wines?

[00:09:51] What's up with your stupid fucking manner of dress?

[00:09:54] What's wrong with the way I'm dressed enough?

[00:09:56] I don't know man.

[00:09:57] You look like you're going fucking face shopping.

[00:09:59] Yeah.

[00:10:00] You're going to Thanksgiving.

[00:10:01] You're all right.

[00:10:02] You do.

[00:10:03] You absolutely have a Thanksgiving outfit.

[00:10:05] Yeah.

[00:10:06] I'm wearing earth tones right now.

[00:10:07] Farm.

[00:10:08] But you're wearing like a nice sweater and fucking kind of nice pants in your pants.

[00:10:12] Yes.

[00:10:13] Little pilgrim shoes.

[00:10:14] Whatever the fuck they are.

[00:10:16] I'm just wearing, I'm honestly just wearing brown pants.

[00:10:19] No.

[00:10:20] That sweater.

[00:10:21] Look how me and Nick are dressed.

[00:10:22] The two guys at the office.

[00:10:23] When Nick's at work.

[00:10:24] You have your pregnant belly up.

[00:10:27] It's a little bit out.

[00:10:28] It's not that bad.

[00:10:29] So what you're saying you should be on maternity leave?

[00:10:32] I'll go on maternity leave.

[00:10:33] I'll go on maternity leave.

[00:10:34] If dude if I get nine months paid dude.

[00:10:36] I would love to be fat as shit as a man in an office.

[00:10:40] I'd be like I need maternity leave and they're like but you're not a woman.

[00:10:43] You're like excuse me.

[00:10:47] I have the New York Times on speed dial.

[00:10:49] Yeah.

[00:10:50] It looks like you're like you're not even really making an argument like we have three

[00:10:55] trans people in the office.

[00:10:56] We don't care about that.

[00:10:57] You're just a fat man.

[00:10:58] Just at your computer closing the pornography window being like well time to piss for the

[00:11:03] third time today because I'm pregnant and then cruising into the women's bathroom.

[00:11:08] I don't have diabetes and drinking a Mickey's.

[00:11:13] I'm in a handicap stall.

[00:11:14] There's a guy in a wheelchair that's like you're busy in there.

[00:11:17] You're like I'm retarded.

[00:11:19] Yeah.

[00:11:20] I'm sorry.

[00:11:21] I got to leave my pussy's leaky right now.

[00:11:22] Excuse me.

[00:11:23] I'm pissing because I'm a retarded woman and I'm pregnant.

[00:11:26] And if you complain guess who's getting the fired Ola you.

[00:11:32] By the way I'm Spanish.

[00:11:35] That's what that fireola is my family's name.

[00:11:39] It's the village we're from.

[00:11:41] In Argentina.

[00:11:43] Argentina.

[00:11:44] They're like that doesn't even sort of make sense.

[00:11:50] Well I've had too much string cheese and I'm having diarrhea.

[00:11:55] I've got crones which is basically like losing your legs in Iraq.

[00:11:59] So you'll respect me.

[00:12:00] I am a fucking veteran.

[00:12:02] I just signed a teacher that had crones once and then we found out what it was.

[00:12:05] It's so funny.

[00:12:06] We just couldn't stop making fun of it.

[00:12:07] We're having people with crones like act like we're supposed to take them seriously.

[00:12:11] Wait is that a crap thing?

[00:12:13] They're like I had to go to the hospital from diarrhea.

[00:12:16] From crappy.

[00:12:17] Yeah maybe you should die.

[00:12:21] Maybe.

[00:12:22] I'm not saying you should but it's something we need to consider.

[00:12:24] Did yeah.

[00:12:25] Yeah.

[00:12:26] Well the thing is I have no as somebody who spent at least nine years of my life having

[00:12:31] diarrhea constantly I really have no sympathy for them.

[00:12:35] It's the same as having you know I ate most of my dinners at Royal Farms for four years

[00:12:40] probably.

[00:12:41] I was shitting everywhere.

[00:12:43] Munchos.

[00:12:44] Munchos make your asshole fucking sing dude.

[00:12:47] It's like turning a faucet on.

[00:12:49] But great chips.

[00:12:50] I know what munchos are.

[00:12:51] What?

[00:12:52] No.

[00:12:53] Are you fucking serious?

[00:12:54] No.

[00:12:55] No it sounds really.

[00:12:56] You know what munchos are right next.

[00:12:57] It's the bag of snacks.

[00:12:58] Looks like all the different.

[00:12:59] No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[00:13:00] that's check smacks.

[00:13:01] No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[00:13:01] no no no no nothing no no no no no True maintenance.

[00:13:06] Not yet.

[00:13:07] You know what I mean a lot of the whole question is is just."

[00:13:08] Is there a

[00:13:09] A password to ask why should this jump through?

[00:13:09] They're broken down and reformatted. They're so fucking good interesting. You don't know about munchos

[00:13:13] I'm not a big bad chip guy. Oh my god. I found the best chip

[00:13:20] The best chip I'm a curious you can be you can be from from the fancy supermarket, okay

[00:13:26] It's a new luxury good that I'm not the best you know what they have is the best chicken market is they got a hundred percent

[00:13:32] Caca or coca

[00:13:34] My man eating shit Lincoln market sometimes you got a taste for

[00:13:40] And this is Joe Caca D. I

[00:13:43] That's a how to leave a crime and I'm eating shit. I said it before I've done it. Yeah with the prison for eating shit

[00:13:52] A lot of people think my stories are fake. Well, here's this here's a real story for you is

[00:13:56] 1988 south Boston me and a couple of guys we were knocking over porta parties

[00:14:01] I

[00:14:03] Feeling all this shit out of putting the big novelty swirly straw in there and just sucking away

[00:14:09] They call used to call me big Mike Spoon shit eating the home all because I had a

[00:14:14] Had a spoon I got off of

[00:14:18] Forget where I found that I think it was a shovel and

[00:14:22] I would I would use it like a spoon and eat shit out of the bottom and porta parties. I

[00:14:27] Can't wait to hear what bullshit chip at some like pepper and cini and fucking

[00:14:33] And fucking it is balsamic chip the flavor of the flavor of all sacric the flavor

[00:14:38] That's the kind of shit you like actually the flavor of the chip is I barrico

[00:14:43] I had the best I had a half flavored potato chip. I had the best flavored chip

[00:14:48] It was called licking the bowls come out of your girlfriend's pussy. No, that's not sure chip

[00:14:54] Zaps zaps has a new flavor for guys like me

[00:15:04] It's a little bit familiar a little bit strange, you know what pisses me off about what you just said about that chip

[00:15:11] Yeah, it does sound awesome. It is it is rad. I missed it the day you're done with your diet

[00:15:17] I'm gonna buy you a bag of them chips. It's an a beer and a ham it the flavor is ham

[00:15:21] Or maybe it's hamo and serrano. Oh my god. It's pissing me off because it's still good

[00:15:27] But it's so good, but it's so fucking pretentious. I'll tell you I'll tell you it sounded bad

[00:15:32] And I laughed at it

[00:15:33] I was like fuck this no because pork fat like if you if you fry some chips and pork fat that honestly my dick is getting

[00:15:40] The after taste the after taste of like Pringles like fucking Thanksgiving dinner

[00:15:46] That sounds good. They're like just kill yourself. This is my telling you imagine eating that instead of having a family

[00:15:54] No, I'm just I'm not doing like I'm doing kind of a friends. I'm doing yeah my own thing

[00:16:00] I'm gonna do my own thing. I got a 18 tubes

[00:16:04] Thanksgiving I got Pringles. Thank you. I'm just eating as many pumpkin pie

[00:16:09] Yeah, I'm smoking cigarettes and eating I got a couple of Sarah Lee's and a

[00:16:14] And a tube of the TGI Friday's Pringles. Yeah, tastes like the restaurant

[00:16:20] I'm gonna be looking at a picture of my family when I was 11 years old. Yeah

[00:16:24] Just looking at a bunch of people don't speak to anymore getting pissed about my bully as if he was bullying me today

[00:16:31] Yeah for dessert, I think I'll have the shaft of my gun

[00:16:36] And I'll just leave it in there for a sec. It just tastes the new taste it

[00:16:40] I'm not shooting myself Texas

[00:16:42] So

[00:16:43] Texas what were you saying about the aftertaste go on the aftertaste is just butter

[00:16:49] You get the ham on the front. I bet you I know exactly you get like it's just this butter. Oh, damn

[00:16:55] I'm telling you. I'm sorry. I know you're on a diet. What what are you what?

[00:17:00] What did you eat it with I had it just as a as a snack and it was a see to me

[00:17:06] I had it in to be in a kutraman. I had it while put the chips in a sandwich also

[00:17:10] I mean that would be that if you got like some sour if you got some privilege or sour

[00:17:14] Oh my god if you got pro juke some some odd sour cream

[00:17:21] If you had an Italian

[00:17:23] So deli brown despite those chibney vinegar

[00:17:26] Yeah, you need some speedy say a city all the eggs cigarette two liter of diet share a mist

[00:17:34] I'm saying Italian sub all the fixings with that chip inside of it for an extra fuck you up for making me

[00:17:40] Think about that it's that would be the best thing about to pull a blade and on you. I'm sorry stop

[00:17:45] I'm sorry. I know you're I know you're my crackhead friend in recovery. I'm just describing the perfect rock to you right now

[00:17:52] Dude, you're you're just grabbing a fight. Shut up moon rock

[00:17:56] Something that's 90% cocaine somehow one at 10% 8% baking powder 2%

[00:18:02] not Meg

[00:18:04] Straight off the boat from from Hector. Oh my god that poor a

[00:18:09] That poor oh

[00:18:11] Sorry, you're right. It's poor a poor is mashed potatoes in Greek. Wow. Now. You got me thinking about mashed potatoes

[00:18:18] Don't you even fucking dare? I know I'm not one to tell you mashed potatoes. I think I'm done with in my life

[00:18:23] No, why do you say that they're boring? I figured out I figure out the perfect way

[00:18:28] It's kind of you know what honestly and I kind of this year fuck all the Thanksgiving shit

[00:18:33] I've been on this train my so long Thanksgiving is so fucking overrated and fuck Adam for dress

[00:18:40] Thank you for taking your sweater off

[00:18:41] So we stopped thinking about it giving out because you're the asshole that made us think about it's a 10

[00:18:46] It's a 10 sweater and rust

[00:18:48] Jeans and we were buying sonic youth t-shirt. No wearing a black

[00:18:55] I can tell you what your favorite bands. I can tell you one sonic youth song. Yeah, you could you're wearing a

[00:19:03] Wait a second that's baggets. It's also a velvet under Gen X

[00:19:06] There's always trying to flex with it like that they met sonic youth one time and they expect us

[00:19:12] I honestly have no idea. I don't I really don't know sonic who cares about the sonic youth. What's one one of their I can't

[00:19:18] I can't name a single song. Here's the thing you actually do I could I actually don't that was a band that I never cared about

[00:19:24] Dr. Eggman raped tales. Is that a real one? Yeah, it sounds kind of bad

[00:19:28] I like that actually yeah, that sounds kind of badass

[00:19:34] Yeah, whatever fuck sonic youth. Yeah, I don't care

[00:19:37] How about bleepy the n-word sir?

[00:19:41] Okay, I guess is that a song. Oh, here's here's one I got ready. I was thinking about this one captain Correlly's ass

[00:19:48] I'm in oh mandolin. Yeah. Wow. What a reference

[00:19:52] What a reference Captain Correlly's you see that like on a net flute no it just I was thinking about it today

[00:20:00] Trying to figure out what movie do I don't know why no, that's cool. I don't know why I was I was sitting at home

[00:20:05] I was grilling I was grilling chicken thighs and

[00:20:09] For some reason I was thinking about Captain Correlly's mandolin which I never saw oh

[00:20:14] also I was thinking about the show party of five and

[00:20:17] And it's about it's the same setup so it's five five kids and their parents die and they have to take care of each other

[00:20:24] That would happen this time they're all girls and they make their way by having sex and the show's awesome shows called pussy of give

[00:20:33] But but visually it looks give looks like fun

[00:20:40] And it starts with the p ends with a Y so visually you got a lot of the same

[00:20:45] Still audibly not so much but yeah tonight on Fox eight seven central pussy of give is that what party of five was about

[00:20:52] Yeah, I think so their parents died. Yeah, their parents died. That show was always too mature for me

[00:20:58] I I did not I'm not adult enough to enjoy until like last year

[00:21:02] I thought 902 went on party of five with the same show and Melrose place those three things about an apartment complex for people

[00:21:10] Cheat on each other. That's awesome. That's kind of sick. I wish I was mature enough to watch that. Yeah, I never got into that shit

[00:21:18] Never got into this. It scared me. Yeah

[00:21:23] Yeah, they always seem mad at each other. It scared me. I was like damn. Oh, I'm scared to have sex on seven

[00:21:29] All these people have watch

[00:21:33] 2-1-0 but party of five I remember being incredibly depressing

[00:21:36] Mm-hmm. So I didn't really end to it. Mm-hmm and then Melrose place. I didn't understand

[00:21:42] Well, I think as a child I skipped from sex to like straight into like relate like I watched friends or whatever

[00:21:48] Yeah, everyone like I want I want to be friends. I want to have a girl for babies

[00:21:52] I watched a lot of mad about you to be honest. Yeah, I watched mad about you absolutely

[00:21:57] I needed a comforting laugh track. I watched mad about you without the laughs. It seemed scary. Yeah. Yeah, that's true

[00:22:04] Yeah, everyone was like yeah, cuz those shows were comedies. I could not watch a drama drama scared me

[00:22:10] Yeah, I was like bad shit's about to happen. Why watch a lot?

[00:22:13] I watch a lot of seven things to be nice. I didn't watch that much of it. I watched a lot of seven seven

[00:22:19] On the WB I think the big shows I watched were

[00:22:23] Buffy the Waynes Brothers. I watched Waynes Brothers. I was a big one. Is that on WB? Oh, yeah

[00:22:30] And then

[00:22:32] We're brothers. I guess Dawson's Creek. I was never watching same rule. Same rule

[00:22:37] That was for baby

[00:22:38] That was for your hot babysitter that you wanted to fuck but you didn't even know what sex was

[00:22:42] I actually would just be like talking to her boyfriend on the girl you're thinking

[00:22:48] Stop being stuff are going over there to have sex with their Russia

[00:22:50] You're in your bait your crib

[00:23:06] Railing out the babysitter

[00:23:08] Have a babysitter at 15 that was 16 years old no real mature I had one babysitter named her name translates to cherry

[00:23:20] Greek and Greek so she was a whore no, she's a nice girl and

[00:23:24] She was nice, but she she only lived next door to us. I you know what I probably didn't want to fuck her

[00:23:29] But I was like four I had a Mormon girl from my neighborhood. Oh, yeah, I know I was in love with her

[00:23:34] I know yeah, we had sex with that's what we flexed. We already just said she was so hot. Yeah, we know

[00:23:41] Oh, how many times you get to do this Adam? No, you didn't have sex. You weren't in Las Vegas in 1994

[00:23:47] I was we came in with a gun

[00:23:50] We say give it his cash grass or ass

[00:23:54] No one no one rides for first cash grass or ask no runs are free and we got money and we're stoned as fuck

[00:23:59] We're high we're two four year olds are high

[00:24:07] We got money

[00:24:16] Honestly

[00:24:18] I would honestly like feel it close to tears if you guys we fucked it

[00:24:22] Did fuck her you still haven't you know her name my heart something stupid like Brie Lee or something

[00:24:27] Did you find it so I could look her up and fuck her yeah Ashley in there? She's probably married

[00:24:32] But I'm a fucking a Mormon boots like that. She's never walked on the wild side

[00:24:36] Definitely has like 14 kids at this point. You know she's never had sex with a fat man with a fucking I've been long been

[00:24:42] Mailing here my comment. She's been putting it in her

[00:24:45] Bad news Adam. Sorry. That's where the kids came from. Would you be mad?

[00:24:49] It's my Columbia house

[00:24:51] Subscription service. Would you be mad about that Adam? No, that would make me less upset than if I agree if I wanted to fuck a girl

[00:24:58] And somebody if she put somebody's coming or pussy got pregnant. I honestly wouldn't care at all

[00:25:07] I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I just didn't want him to enjoy your pussy. Yeah, I don't care that you fucking procreate

[00:25:12] Yes, well, I don't care that you turkey based it

[00:25:14] It's not literally not at all. I've been you could put your comment like X's of mine

[00:25:20] I put my car and I wouldn't can't rule film canisters and I leave him a dollar tree

[00:25:27] Just to see if anyone's gonna get a put it in there please. Yeah

[00:25:32] Why got some calm why would you do it with tape?

[00:25:36] I found some come on. I said

[00:25:40] You're like 12 few

[00:25:42] I mean me. I'm well. I got I got a deal of dollar tree on I got 16 miles

[00:25:50] But it's in a film canister

[00:25:52] Film can yeah, you got to keep them in the fridge. Yeah, your parents do that my parents used to have film in the fridge

[00:25:58] I don't know why that was literally your dad hiding come

[00:26:03] Batteries batteries you don't put film in the fridge. Maybe it was bad. It was a fridge with the fuck

[00:26:08] Keep it good. Hold it charge longer. Keep no good. Yeah sounds fake alkaline batteries. It'll still last

[00:26:16] Last because of the fucking bunny rechargeable batteries. You don't want to do that with I

[00:26:22] Don't I don't I don't agree. That's fucked up to me to put batteries in the fridge

[00:26:26] Metal shit that you don't eat does not belong in the fridge and that's just my take on it

[00:26:31] I'm not changing my fucking mind. Yeah, that's savage certain medicine sure

[00:26:35] Certain medicine it tastes nice to have it cold like a dime a tap. Oh my god, dude

[00:26:42] I used to look for a time a tab from the fucking fridge was better than candy

[00:26:46] Diamond tap was is my favorite sweet. I wish I absolutely I wish dime a tap was what you had

[00:26:52] We should all go get bottles of dimes having try to get

[00:26:56] Will that fuck you up? Yeah? Oh, yeah, I'm a tab will oh yeah, it's like cough syrup for babies dude

[00:27:02] It tastes so make it damn. We should we should just robo. Dude. I have an a nice time a tab for years

[00:27:08] I used to I used to eat like a whole box of course eating cough and cold robo trip

[00:27:14] Yeah, like regularly the one time I did that or like get off work and then just eat an entire box of

[00:27:21] medicine and then just be like

[00:27:24] David like completely fuck you're so

[00:27:26] Just thinking I was like traveling time you can't walk that ride the bus around be like what

[00:27:36] You can't walk why can I I can see into that man's thoughts

[00:27:41] Saying the N word yeah over and over I did it one time in college and for some reason

[00:27:48] I just convinced myself. I had the smallest penis. Well finally you were able to treat

[00:27:52] That's just basically it lets you talk to the universe

[00:27:57] Yeah, that was what the universe came back with is that you have the smallest penis that's crazy because when I did psychedelics

[00:28:03] The universe tells me the same thing about you that I have the smallest penis well

[00:28:07] Whatever the universe is saying you got to listen dude

[00:28:11] What if you did have what if you did have fucking peyote right?

[00:28:15] Mm-hmm, and that was your big realization is that you have a tiny that you're dick a small

[00:28:19] Gay-oating

[00:28:21] I live in Chinatown. I would just have like chronic lung infections because all the black mold and that

[00:28:27] Yeah, and so I would take I would just drink the Iquil

[00:28:30] And then I kind of got addicted to it. I'd be like well guess I have the flu again

[00:28:35] I guess I need a new night will and then I would just be fucked up on the Iquil for days

[00:28:41] That's awesome. Just drinking it all day long get a nice night will buzz be and sleepy

[00:28:46] Yeah, just get sleepy should go get Chinese food and then like

[00:28:51] Read free ebooks

[00:28:58] What is that's like a homeless shelter life you were you did essentially no you lived in like a halfway house

[00:29:05] What you lived in should know kind of like not a nice halfway

[00:29:08] There were guys in there that had just gotten out of the like the actual homeless shelter. Yeah, lock away

[00:29:13] Yeah, guys there was but one guy he was like I felt so bad for him

[00:29:18] He was like he had like a Dima so his legs always had to be like wrapped

[00:29:22] And they like walk around with a cane

[00:29:24] Jesus and I would hear him in his room just like smoking and hacking up along and then watching mash

[00:29:30] Like DVD damn unlike some shitty TV. Did you even have a bathroom? Yeah?

[00:29:35] He had a hallway bathroom. Oh, it would be all night long. Just like

[00:29:46] Where's the closest window? It's like I don't know clang. I know he didn't have one. I know he didn't have one

[00:29:50] You kind of look like a fag

[00:29:59] And then him like on the phone with like whatever city agency is responsible for giving him like

[00:30:03] $25 a week to spend on mess it up. Yeah

[00:30:07] Jesus be like well that I called Deborah no Deborah over the other office

[00:30:12] She said I had to call you why I called back two times and they told me if I if I go back after 3 p.m

[00:30:18] I left the file

[00:30:19] There's a form I need and that you would know what form it is

[00:30:23] If I put the format on time then because I've been waiting three weeks now on a

[00:30:37] Waiting to die. Yeah

[00:30:39] Yeah, that was one of the most

[00:30:43] Like I was also broke and I was like I would rather kill myself to live here

[00:30:47] Dude, I was when you lived there. I could not believe it dude. I was a warrior

[00:30:51] I was like that one New York

[00:30:53] Cuz I was scared you can't like you kept also saying like I love Manhattan

[00:30:59] Oh, don't spend any time. I would spend any time there. Yeah, I'd wake up and then I would go get a car

[00:31:06] Yeah, I'd be in I'd be there. I am dude Barry and canal downtown Manhattan

[00:31:12] At the Dunkin donuts next to the jewelry store for Indian people. Yeah

[00:31:16] That jewelry story is very strangely plays. Yeah, that's all gone

[00:31:20] It's fucking gone. Yeah. Yeah, but they still have the Popeyes for Chinese people. I love that Popeyes

[00:31:26] That's a great I love coming off the driving off the bridge and seeing that Popeyes seeing those orange

[00:31:31] Orange fucking Mandarin lights. Yeah, or is that Cantonese? They got a new they're gonna hinder it. They got a new Chinese

[00:31:38] Popeyes now. Oh on there was one in D.C. In Delancy. Oh, yeah, it's nice. Yeah

[00:31:46] Damn, I want Popeyes

[00:31:48] I'm marinated some chicken thighs and some fucking soy sauce and goji-jang though. Oh pretty fucking good

[00:31:55] How do you marry this is marinating chicken actually work a hundred percent?

[00:31:58] Yeah, for sure. Here's that I don't I feel like it bear like not the way like you can marinate pork or beef though

[00:32:04] Dude, why yes, why wouldn't why would it be just doesn't absorb flavor the same? No dude. No, dude. Rest

[00:32:10] Okay, what you want to do a little fucking hack just a ton you basically just brine it

[00:32:16] But with lemon juice instead of water shit is unbelievable and the ton of garlic

[00:32:20] The ton of lemon ton of garlic and so much salt, you know

[00:32:24] It would make your eyes pop out if you fucking ate it this shit is delectable, bro

[00:32:29] Yeah, and the thought I I marinated the science. Well, let me ask you about this peanut butter cookies. Oh my god

[00:32:35] I love those. That's why I've heard sweet actually. They're so good

[00:32:39] Yeah, now do you mean the ones that are like flat with peanut butter?

[00:32:42] We know the ones that are great are the ones that have the little you know what we gotta do this afternoon

[00:32:47] It's like that the rain's clearing up. It's a really nice. I'll do we'll go find a paintball place get some night. Well

[00:32:55] Get fucked up off night. Well, that's awesome and for going to the forget to go to the yeah

[00:33:00] Go me like who do you have? What is this a blockbuster?

[00:33:04] Damn, I feel like I feel like I'm in the 90s

[00:33:07] Am I being loud?

[00:33:12] Do you have 10 things I hate about you? We want to rent it. Yeah, yeah

[00:33:17] That movie is actually a smart movie never sheets for kids

[00:33:21] Um 10 things I hate about Adam. He's about 10 things I hate about John

[00:33:28] All right, why are they called Chichen Chong and that none what if it was another Asian guy maybe yeah

[00:33:33] Chingen Joe great question Nick. That's a really really good question

[00:33:38] Yeah, and I don't know the answer

[00:33:41] But it's important that you're asking

[00:33:44] They did Chichen Chong and 20 years later. They're like we got to do another one of those like

[00:33:49] Chinese indian guy weed movies and they're like well, I think the other guy was like

[00:33:54] I think he was an Italian or something

[00:33:58] Well, let's do indian this time and they go to white cats

[00:34:01] Oh, oh, yeah, they fly as a formula and they got

[00:34:05] Movie was wildly original. Yeah, they're just

[00:34:10] They did I love terrible and then and then after that. So cool

[00:34:15] Kumar goes to work for obama. That was weird and then the herald guy. He's he's been fucking jeez advisor for the last

[00:34:23] I didn't know that it's but there was a whole thing was like a joint cia

[00:34:27] Mm-hmm. Chinese scia the chia. That was so weird did fucking kumar

[00:34:33] Or whatever. We're came pro bomba. What is real name?

[00:34:38] Martin Scrailly

[00:34:42] Martin kushikuri kumel nunjia mark curry mark

[00:34:50] Mark curry is that the guy is that an indian star wars

[00:34:54] The guy who played lee skywalker. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mark her mark curry

[00:35:02] Um, yeah, I then always cow pen cow pen. That's right

[00:35:08] Sound like cow pen. Yeah

[00:35:10] You know I'm saying mmm

[00:35:13] Cow pen and and hobs and he's got a cat. That's good. Oh god cat

[00:35:18] It's um, which one of us is a little boy and which one is a tiger

[00:35:27] I don't think that's uh really the movie we're making

[00:35:32] I'm the tiger. Oh, you're the little your little boy

[00:35:37] He's molested and they fix his target real

[00:35:41] Here to imagine being friends with the tiger. Nope. No, it's uh just a spin off of uh

[00:35:46] A fast in the furious

[00:35:49] That was a spin off

[00:35:52] Is that when you put a little boy on your cock?

[00:35:56] He's twisting around. Are you not

[00:35:59] Uh, no, no

[00:36:01] Uh, no, it's not i'm rocko bomb rocko bomb. I'm the rock and i'm gay. I'm the rock obama

[00:36:08] Oh, there you go. I'm doing the rock obama and i'm gay and i'm and i'm ryan shut and i'm ryan shut

[00:36:14] And i'm and i'm um, you on mosh

[00:36:19] Yes get his ass. Yeah

[00:36:22] Dude elon you on post. I gotta give it to him. That man is a good poster. Yeah, he's epic

[00:36:29] He's on some epic fail type shit. Uh-huh. He's epic

[00:36:34] I wish I wish I could steal some of his money. He's got a lot of it

[00:36:39] If I took if I took a million dollars, he wouldn't notice

[00:36:41] No, he wouldn't he wouldn't care. Yeah, he made he made what like a hundred and seventy three billion dollars this year

[00:36:50] You think if I fucked grimes, he'd give me a million dollars. That's wild dude

[00:36:54] For what? What the fuck is the point tesla stock went up a lot tesla's that good who gives a fuck?

[00:37:00] No, oh and he's fucking little spaceship sucks. It's the battery. That's the valuable thing about the company

[00:37:06] I think what's up with the battery. Is it just like every other fucking battery? I don't know they can use the battery for other shit

[00:37:12] I think maybe that's every fucking battery. How about an island mask?

[00:37:18] Like I'm wearing tights

[00:37:21] I've got buttons where i'm going to go to the moon and uh the plan is to uh have gash

[00:37:28] I put lipstick put toe dress up there

[00:37:31] Do like a rocky harp. Yes. Yes. Like what's his face?

[00:37:34] Curie put on lipstick mark curried leave kiss marks all over my friend's cock

[00:37:40] I would watch you just smoking weed on mine

[00:37:44] That's crazy. Yeah, I was uh

[00:37:48] The company is called space gay sex

[00:37:51] I was watching a bunch of

[00:37:55] She's working on

[00:37:57] No, it's fine. I was watching a bunch of uh gave cuz I didn't really know what it was about um the

[00:38:03] YouTube videos of midnight rocky horror picture show

[00:38:07] Like viewing so they do it theaters all over america

[00:38:11] It is the it is the lamest subcola. Oh, yeah, it's for fucking absolute losers. It is for the biggest

[00:38:16] That's it's below. It's below like rent festival. It's below. Oh rent festival is cool. Yeah, you get a fucking leg of turkey

[00:38:23] Let's let's like hold on. The leg of the leg of turkey is doing all the work

[00:38:28] Yeah, you get a leg of turkey to save the ren fair. Yeah, if it were not for that big piece of turkey

[00:38:34] No, they do wooden jousting which is all right one out of every hundred bitches is wearing one of those course it is awesome

[00:38:41] Yeah, you get a win, but the other

[00:38:43] 99 of wenches are looking tough, but the rocky horror picture show midnight theaters

[00:38:49] Uh, yeah, cuz it's those people those people in with makeup and fucking it is brutal. It's theater kids

[00:38:56] It is it's theater kids. It's kids. It's the hornie

[00:38:59] It's the ugly theater kids that were fucking before anyone it home. That's who it is

[00:39:03] Do you remember those kids? Yeah, they were getting so much put like they really were fucking giving each other so much awful dick and pussy

[00:39:11] Just like but it was all like poly and like meld weird pan

[00:39:15] They all smell like pussy, but it was all like cuddle puddle bullshit. They maybe weren't even fucking come though

[00:39:20] They were just like they're fucking it was just a lot of making out of feeling up. Don't take that away from them

[00:39:25] They were fucking my favorite were like the most butt ugly busted couple in school. Yeah, we're like fucking

[00:39:32] We get caught like fuck it at times a day

[00:39:36] It's like ninth grade. There's this couple the guy

[00:39:39] the

[00:39:41] The guy's body was the worst body i've ever seen by a tyla and this girl was just like she she was like one of those like um

[00:39:48] White trash like 11 pound like scare like like translucent skin kind of girl

[00:39:53] Yeah, and he would walk her to class every single like he was fattish it

[00:39:57] He was fattish it and all eight like seven periods

[00:40:00] He dropped her off and they would just make out like they were never gonna see each other again

[00:40:03] Like it was the end of the note of those double molested relationships

[00:40:07] And you know i'm like fucking 14 15 watching that and i'm just so desperate for pussy and i'm just like

[00:40:13] How did how did they do that? How did they do it? Yeah?

[00:40:16] It's just it is it's you're like not even fully jealous, but you're kind of jealous

[00:40:21] You're like i don't get it i don't get i didn't i didn't know i worked the rule

[00:40:25] I didn't know we were allowed to get pussy i'm falling the rule i'm wearing ax body spray right now

[00:40:32] I remember when my friend bill fat bill shots out to him was talking about getting pussy

[00:40:36] We were you imagine stop knowing a guy named fat

[00:40:41] You're not fat you have he was fat as shit

[00:40:43] You imagine i've had you ever stopped to know you is fat okay first of all there's a lot of bills

[00:40:49] Okay, there's not that many stops so let's throw that out there even if we were similarly fat and he was fatter than me might i add

[00:40:57] I would be noticed stop there's our friend bold toothless mike you can't first of all you wouldn't call me fat stop

[00:41:04] There was no other stops

[00:41:07] No, not fat i can't take stuff

[00:41:09] There's been years where you would have qualified as fat stop

[00:41:12] But my name is stop there's no other stops. There's no reason to call me fat stop other than to be cruel

[00:41:18] It's yeah, anyway, yes

[00:41:22] Fat bill anyway, correct fat bill. Oh, wait, hold on. What happened to your apple watch?

[00:41:28] Oh, I traded and like it. Oh, well you went back to the Fitbit. I went back to the Fitbit

[00:41:32] Come on, dude. Why didn't you like the apple watch?

[00:41:34] You don't want to get texts on your on your arm too much. It wasn't it also was not that could have finished tracking

[00:41:40] You couldn't sleeping tracking was bad. It was not as good as the fit

[00:41:44] Did you watch porn on it once I like him and I've already broken the screen on this one

[00:41:48] It was just too much. I didn't like it. I got my dad one for his birthday

[00:41:51] I thought it was gonna allow me to unplug it was it double plugged me up

[00:41:56] Instead of unplugging I got DP'd by technology

[00:41:59] Yeah, and so you watch porn on it on the Fitbit on the apple watch I never did but i'm sure you can

[00:42:05] Yeah, that'd be cool. They didn't know holding it right in front of your

[00:42:09] You know what then what i'm holding it like this

[00:42:11] That'd be fun. That'd be fun for one. Now get your shoulder starts to hurt. Yeah

[00:42:16] Anyway fat bill all these cousins were named bill

[00:42:19] So oh gosh, they all had the same last name. That's confused. So we needed a little bill fat bill and uh

[00:42:25] And just I guess bill. Mm-hmm, but uh

[00:42:29] The point is he got pussy better pretty young age. Yeah, and start going by black bill

[00:42:36] Your name is not bill number one black bill cream water

[00:42:39] The bill cream water black book cream water is an awesome name. That's my name. Oh black bill

[00:42:44] I have bill cream water. I'm a i'm a zydego

[00:42:48] musician

[00:42:49] A what I don't play any is that like louisia. We already had this conversation on the show. You don't know what zydego is

[00:42:55] It's the type of

[00:42:57] He plays the washboard. I don't give a fuck actually

[00:43:01] Zydego can suck my zydego. Yeah. Yeah, I can

[00:43:04] Because zydego back to africa. Oh, okay

[00:43:11] Dr. john kensydego back to africa

[00:43:15] Oh, dr. john style of music. I think he was a zydego guy. He might just be bluegrass

[00:43:22] Because this is what there's bluegrass. There's zydego. There's there's a blue traveler

[00:43:26] I'm gonna get an email from somebody with who likes the shittiest types of things

[00:43:30] I can't believe you mess up. Yeah, they're taking home dress like a trader joe's employee with sunglasses

[00:43:37] Hawaii

[00:43:40] Yeah

[00:43:43] Sideburns

[00:43:47] Of a type of guy

[00:43:50] Gene shorts

[00:43:52] Gene shorts with card on pocket. I can't believe you

[00:43:55] You fucking idiot. Oh, man. Wait, tell us about this fat ass

[00:44:03] Who you're fat friend

[00:44:06] Same size as me bill as you call no he was fatter than me. Thank you very much

[00:44:10] My my do you know what I realized you know what I realized?

[00:44:13] I was not even that fat until like until I went to college

[00:44:17] I was a little bit of a husky boy freshman 15 million the fret dude

[00:44:20] It was the freshman 45 over here. I got to three. I got over three bills. Damn. I got the 315 fresh 10

[00:44:28] 15 more points on the bm. That's true. Wait, so you're saying you weren't that fat when you were 270 before that

[00:44:35] Um, yes

[00:44:39] I was like 250. Okay, how about this? I was 250 then I started playing football and I got up to 275

[00:44:45] Well, I didn't I just started eating cheeseburger. I was like, I'm a football player now. I could be fat

[00:44:49] Yeah, and then I came back and they were like, why did you get so fat my coaches were like Jesus Christ

[00:44:55] You didn't work out. You just got fat. I was like, yeah, it's for football. I'll play football now

[00:45:02] Is this what we're supposed to do coach? Yeah, that people don't know how damaging that you're a growing boy

[00:45:08] Yeah. Oh my god. Still think it gave me the fuck it gave me the fucking car

[00:45:12] If you don't have the seeds in you to grow tall. Oh, yeah, when your body's just like all right

[00:45:18] Well, there's two directions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of them works against gravity. Well, the problem is I

[00:45:24] Also started getting a job. I got a job as a telemarketer right next to Wendy's. Yeah, and that was game over

[00:45:31] Yeah, that was absolutely game over. I had so much Wendy's that summer

[00:45:35] I like I like how the prop beer is that well, there was a Wendy's too close. It's true. It was the problem. So

[00:45:42] My mom would make me nice lunches and I was like, yeah, I'm getting a fucking bacon cheese

[00:45:46] I said when I when I worked at a call center. I

[00:45:49] Or if I was being healthy a baked potato

[00:45:51] Call center. I worked at six a.m. The two p.m. Shift and it's not been jack in the box right next to the highway

[00:45:56] Hell. Yeah, give myself a little sourdough saying respect. I love the sourdough jack never been

[00:46:02] Never been to a jack in the box. Excellent sandwich

[00:46:05] Never been to a jack next time we're out in cali. We'll get some dude. We should get a little diamond tab cigarettes

[00:46:12] You know jack in the box and gurus on over the rainforest cafe

[00:46:17] Ask people if they ever beat off the sarah michelle

[00:46:20] Who has

[00:46:22] If somebody says no, they're a fucking liar. Yeah

[00:46:25] She's hot as fuck. I'm trying to I'm trying to eat buffies pussy. Well willow licks my ass. Yep

[00:46:31] Yep, I'm trying to fuck her is my carpenter and zander come she's the one I wanted to fuck the most out of that whole crew

[00:46:37] Zanders like could I be anymore?

[00:46:40] Look gay vampire. Yeah, I never watched the

[00:46:46] Shut up. It's for girls. It's not very good. She'll fuck up

[00:46:49] But I'll tell you what you can put it on and I can sit here

[00:46:53] It was a movie right? I think I want to thank him the 80s

[00:46:57] I watched the movie and I was pissed when it was a different lady

[00:46:59] Because I didn't really have any I didn't know sarah michelle giller

[00:47:03] But I did want to fuck the girl for the movie well joss we didn't just got me too

[00:47:08] But not for rape right Michelle jactenberg now by uh

[00:47:12] Frismic Carpenter charisma carpenter who is charisma. Oh my god. She plays so hot

[00:47:17] She plays the bitch in Buffy

[00:47:19] So it's funny that it sounds like a the character that deaf jam comedian by all by all intents and purposes deserves

[00:47:26] I'm sorry

[00:47:29] He didn't he didn't meet too. He was just a bitch. He was just a dickhead. Yeah, he's like ladies and gentlemen

[00:47:34] I raped her but she was the bad guy a bald ginger gets a little bit of power

[00:47:39] They may forget about their fucking touching people's asses. I thought he was gay. She's she's perfect

[00:47:45] Yes, and no, you can't jack off to her. She's a ten dude stop. What did I say?

[00:47:51] I already said it so stop looking at her young

[00:47:54] That's do not do not it's over. Don't you dare look at pictures of her breasts. How old was she in the buff Adam?

[00:48:01] I'm not fucking joking. Oh boy. Put the fucking phone away Adam. You'll love this. She was in playboy in

[00:48:07] 2011 dude. Why did you tell them that

[00:48:10] Guys stop boy. I

[00:48:12] But you personally offended me earlier when you claimed that you weren't that fat. I wasn't that fat in fucking 11th

[00:48:18] That hurts my feelings. I wasn't I look at a picture me from prom. I was a cute kid. It's it's it's fucking so what are you saying?

[00:48:26] I'm fat. No, well, either you're fat or I'm no that's how it works

[00:48:32] I don't know what you're what you're going for here. All I'm saying is society

[00:48:37] Society with the fucking with the fucking poisonous views of you two

[00:48:42] Wow your body negative views made me as a child think I was too fat to get pussy

[00:48:48] Guess what when in reality that was the cutest I was in a strict sense

[00:48:52] It's hilarious that I got no pussy looking like I did then and I get pussy now looking like I do now

[00:48:58] That's all I'm saying. Mm-hmm. And if I could go back in tower would tell that kid you're a cute guy believe in yourself

[00:49:05] It's your dick isn't that small you're scared your dick as well, which was a big fear for me when I was 16

[00:49:10] I was scared. My dick was too small watch porn and they look amazing

[00:49:14] And I was gonna say actually your dick ate yours. It's shockingly effective

[00:49:17] It is pretty small, but it's no one seems to mind that much only a couple girls have said anything

[00:49:23] Yeah, and the vast majority are thrilled girls have said something like your dick is too small

[00:49:28] No, I'm trying to fucking plump up the bid here. Yeah, okay, but I just got upset

[00:49:33] No girls ever said it's too small. I don't think any girl would say that you can you can maybe tell and they just do that behind your back

[00:49:38] You know in the way sometimes you cook something and you don't waste it first

[00:49:43] Yeah, and then you and then they go this is good and then you taste you like oh, there's way too much salt

[00:49:48] Yes, I've gotten that reaction made it one or two times

[00:49:53] But they're always polite about

[00:49:55] Well, sorry I got upset but

[00:49:57] Well, thank you as long as you were on your behalf as long as you did on my behalf. I respect

[00:50:02] Well, listen

[00:50:03] There was one time when a Jewish girl wouldn't suck me off because I was uncircumcised

[00:50:06] Oh my god, that was despicable behavior. Oh, that goes go to the absolutely to the

[00:50:16] He's I you can say yeah

[00:50:19] You don't even get started. I was very heated about that

[00:50:22] But I received one of the worst hand jobs and I didn't have a condom

[00:50:26] And she wouldn't let me fuck without one and I got one of the worst hand jobs of all time

[00:50:31] And by the way, I ate her pussy first because I'm a gentleman

[00:50:33] And then I'm over here getting the dryest fucking hand jobs. You didn't even fucking spit on my dick nothing

[00:50:40] Did you try to spit on your own penis?

[00:50:42] He's conveniently leaving out the part of the evening when he said you know, I was actually not that fat and I never brought that up at that point

[00:50:49] Actually, thank you very much. I was on the road in Virginia somewhere and just fun. I was trying to get some random

[00:50:56] lawful house

[00:50:58] Yeah, why would someone not suck my dick if I said I wasn't that fat in high school because it's being a waffle house

[00:51:05] And getting pussy prayers prayers up for a friend of the show tiger woods. Yeah for sure

[00:51:11] So fucked up. My man was doing well. He just had back surgery. Yeah, that was about to be a coby 2.0 situation

[00:51:19] Oh, like if he died. Yeah, I would have been I mean

[00:51:22] Doesn't mean it another another black guy dying and some kind of accident

[00:51:27] That is I guess in the if you put it that way that is true

[00:51:31] But he says that he's not black. He's like some fake word that he makes you know I was thinking about it the other day

[00:51:36] It's funny that the picture of George Floyd that they used to like memorialize him is like

[00:51:42] Like a shitty my space to verify your identity with the bank

[00:51:49] That he looked at me. It looks like he took a picture of himself by accident

[00:51:53] Yeah, he was like trying to figure out the front facing camera

[00:51:58] And they have like I mean there's pictures of him with his fan. You use a still from the porn he did

[00:52:02] Yeah, but instead it's Floyd the landlord. I watched

[00:52:06] That's what he said

[00:52:08] And he had a trouble keeping it hard. Yeah, not to talk shit about the dead. Well, come on man

[00:52:13] They they had to like cut to him being hard

[00:52:16] He was getting that happens quite a bit in porn

[00:52:18] Also, I think that he probably if you have a man of a certain penis sizes harder to get a circulation

[00:52:24] Yeah, well, hold on now. Are you saying that this is what his actual cause of death?

[00:52:37] Just posting the video about like if you notice his dick

[00:52:40] It doesn't

[00:52:43] Circulation issue that actually let the entucker girls and just putting pictures of his dick

[00:52:49] Let's watch the video again. I want you to tell me

[00:52:54] Like a healthy man, or does it look like somebody who doesn't get their dick off

[00:53:00] Think about that imagine if that was your dick to be hard would you want that dick in your mouth in your ass?

[00:53:05] Walking into your house fucking you in the mouth coming all over your face. It was what democrats want

[00:53:13] They want it for your children. They want it for you

[00:53:15] They want you to be forced to suck dick and when it doesn't get hard they'll accuse you of rape and murder

[00:53:24] Uh, fuck Floyd the landlord. Nobody bats an eye at this. Yeah, was it an independent or was it like uh, nobody bats an eye at me being bent over and fucked in my

[00:53:32] Fuck to the ass. It's like a floppy black dick. Yeah. Yeah

[00:53:36] Shoving it in there like a sad teenager

[00:53:40] for summer camp

[00:53:43] Holding the base and just kind of mushing and hoping for the best it seemed like some guy in houston

[00:53:48] Who was like a cvo type businessman type, you know guy was like uh, you know entrepreneur kind of trying to make money

[00:53:56] Trying to make like a houston style, but uh bang bro. That's cool. Like yeah, so I wouldn't say it's fully amateur

[00:54:02] I would say that they had a vision for sure for going mainstream. How many camera angles?

[00:54:08] I can't I don't know honestly

[00:54:10] The only reason I saw it was because after he died on porn hub the next week. It was like say his name George

[00:54:16] Yeah, they had like the the titles of his porn were like on the front page

[00:54:22] Are you kidding?

[00:54:23] Jesus. I swear to god. That's so weird. They were like yeah, he's like rip say his name

[00:54:29] And by the way, here's him having said and here's his porno

[00:54:35] Which is like whatever. I mean if I die, I mean, I guess yeah, he did we was I would like to be celebrated in any way

[00:54:43] That people how long do you think it would take for you to produce a porno?

[00:54:47] You were happy for people to see

[00:54:49] Oh, it would be like probably five second clip of like the right angle where just geometrically it looks like

[00:54:56] Yeah, yeah, like real sex is occurring

[00:55:00] Yeah, I wonder

[00:55:01] Yeah, it would have to be I've never honestly I don't think I've ever recorded myself having sex

[00:55:08] I

[00:55:09] I've had I've definitely taken pictures of my penis to send to women, but I've never well actually in yeah, what I have

[00:55:16] Wonder in a boyfriend girlfriend setting. We're like oh what maybe this little spice things up. We'll

[00:55:21] Feel not really I've never really done it. I've been in that circumstance before

[00:55:27] Yeah, I may have yeah

[00:55:31] You know what now I kind of want to make a fucking porno. Yeah, dude make it just for myself

[00:55:36] I like me and wifey make a movie make a whole yeah, we're making flicks

[00:55:41] Do you guys call portos flicks? No, never no

[00:55:44] No, really porno flicks. Just call them flicks. No, no

[00:55:54] Yeah, it was really funny because we were calling them flicks and then like an old white teacher was trying to like

[00:56:01] You know, it was just like some really like very old like to him flick was like a new slang

[00:56:06] He was like I love watching flicks

[00:56:08] Everyone was losing it. They they didn't know why he was laughing. Yeah

[00:56:12] That would an idiot. He is a fucking idiot one time at my friend Sam's graduation party

[00:56:20] One of his uncles came in

[00:56:22] We were on the couch and he was like what y'all doing in here? You're watching cock movies

[00:56:35] I think is what he was referring to a porno film. That is very funny. By the way, you know, it's what else is awesome

[00:56:40] I think from watching a couple old movies that people used to refer to getting pussy is getting cock

[00:56:47] I think that's true a guy would say that I get yeah

[00:56:51] I'm jumping looking for some cock and they meant pussy what I I think so

[00:56:56] What are you talking about? I just think that might have been slang for pussy. I highly doubt that

[00:57:01] Can you hear that just now just now from a man that seems to have a poor memory of his size

[00:57:10] Okay, I'm sorry your mom called you fat, but you don't have to fucking keep doing this over and over again

[00:57:16] Maybe he's misremembering

[00:57:19] No, when I was in high school cockman pussy. I was also

[00:57:24] a sleep

[00:57:25] Cool, two seven. I was a good looking kid is all I'm saying and I was at the time had body image issues that I don't have now

[00:57:33] That's all I'm saying. Yeah, you've worked on them

[00:57:35] And I was a cute kid and I was not as fat as I thought in my mind's eye

[00:57:39] I'm because of guys like you holding me down constantly. I look back and I'm a fucking blob

[00:57:44] Then I look at a picture from high school. I'm like, that's a cute fucking guy who should be getting pussy

[00:57:49] Yeah, that's all I'm saying. You can go back and do it again

[00:57:52] Well, no, I don't I don't want to I don't want to do it again. I want him to do it for himself

[00:57:57] I'm who I am. Yeah, I don't want to change that. There's a bill in Ted's getting pussy adventure. Yeah

[00:58:08] I gotta take a awful shit shit. I saw

[00:58:12] What did you eat man? What's fucking up?

[00:58:14] Something's wrong with my the middle of my body

[00:58:17] I need to go to a middle doctor. I

[00:58:23] Bitch, that's how they used to do medicine. Yeah

[00:58:25] Top middle fucking in like the feet like the only bodybuilder in all of england just like whales on your midsection

[00:58:33] All right, hey man

[00:58:37] Should be all right ball in the morning

[00:58:40] My favorite my favorite types of doctors were the ones who used to finger pop women when they were like scared. Yeah

[00:58:45] Yeah, my girlfriend still goes to see one of the

[00:58:50] For anxiety relief. Yeah, she's doctor dr. George Floyd

[00:58:56] Floyd the landlord. Yeah calling him Floyd the landlord now suddenly the left loves landlords

[00:59:04] Two weeks ago they murdered a man for trying to collect rent

[00:59:08] Now this limpty

[00:59:11] limpty ska flaw

[00:59:13] Is is the the cream of the crop to them the king is he gay? It's like a crossing gay. Yeah

[00:59:20] Is it seem gay?

[00:59:23] Yeah

[00:59:24] He's in the middle school since he is gay. Oh without question. Yeah. Yeah

[00:59:29] It's every episode you'd end with him like standing up like the staff, you know

[00:59:34] Organizing the paper stack putting it down and then he like sort of

[00:59:38] If moves off like the set like he walks up the stages the camera pans back on a set of those like healy shoes

[00:59:47] It seemed like just sort of like

[00:59:49] Cruising cruising just holding it also has a roller clear holding on. Yeah holding onto his lapels. She's wearing jelly healy

[00:59:58] Jelly sand he gets pants the second he gets off the set that is definitely guys been dressing like that since he was 11. Oh, yeah

[01:00:05] God

[01:00:07] Man those kids are fucking nerds

[01:00:10] Fucking suit. How dare you I did speech and debate and there were a ton of those kids. That's their Ted Cruz was one of those kind of kids

[01:00:17] Yeah

[01:00:19] They were like kids that were like I don't want to mess with my chances for a senate

[01:00:23] Like we're 14

[01:00:27] There's a kid walking around

[01:00:30] Well, no, yeah Ted Cruz did it. I guess but there was a kid I remember walking around there goes your theory

[01:00:35] Yeah, it was like one of those young republicans

[01:00:38] Kids and I'm pretty sure he stole this from like Jay Leno's jay walking or something where he was getting people to sign a

[01:00:47] petition against women's suffrage

[01:00:50] Because like people saw the man shows a man show I guess yeah and people were like we saw this on TV

[01:00:58] Um it was very fun. It was funny on the man show. Yeah, but that guy was that's so funny that you said

[01:01:04] I think he stole it from Jay Leno. It sounds like a Jay Leno thing

[01:01:10] Jay Leno doing

[01:01:13] Well jay walking was jay walking was that yeah jay walking was like yeah, it was like people misunderstanding

[01:01:20] No, but I guess it wasn't massages, but it was people misunderstanding history and stuff like that or what words mean

[01:01:27] She adds that to the man making the juggies

[01:01:29] Yeah, what a awesome way to end the show. Yeah, listen up. Uh if you could uh suck

[01:01:35] JfK thick. What'd you do?

[01:01:38] Uh, I guess so. Whoa looks like we got a fan

[01:01:43] There's only one way to bring the fk back to life

[01:01:49] They're like watching jay walking

[01:01:51] They're like okay, I would he's like well that wasn't the way so now you just gay

[01:01:59] There's a billy on the street

[01:02:02] Oh, yeah, sir. Excuse me. Can I see your penis? Let me see your eyes

[01:02:08] Oh

[01:02:09] If you answer these three questions right I get to see your penis for $1. Let me see your penis

[01:02:14] Sir for $1. I love billy on the street. I can't get enough of it

[01:02:24] Oh fuck dude

[01:02:26] Well, I think it's poop time for Nick and it's snack time for me. It's snack time for me. It's well

[01:02:32] It's one of those uh, it's one of those sundaes. We're having yeah, just another manic sundae

[01:02:37] Just another manic sundae

[01:02:39] All right, well, thanks for listening folks. Bye. Bye. Pussy's