Cum Town | Premium | 03/21/2021
[00:00:00] And I want to go. I want to see her because her post he is so sexy.
[00:00:09] You know me? Because I want because I wanted to be that her post it does
[00:00:14] sexy to my penis. And I've been saving, I save our money so I can go see her.
[00:00:22] So I can look at her post. So her post he can do sexy to my penis. My penis
[00:00:27] and my bolosos. My bolos are because they are very small. But I was told that if
[00:00:36] you do it she foxy or poor penis. Then they become big. They become much
[00:00:45] big girl. And then you people they you know they want to see them and you
[00:00:53] can sell it at the tickets. You can sell it to 400 dollars. I want to make I'm
[00:00:58] going to get an Xbox by showing my penis. I'm on it.
[00:01:04] Day laborers are flocking to only fans. After the Home Depot shut down last week
[00:01:10] day laborers have no choice but to show off their penis and balls to
[00:01:15] prospective employers. I do drywall and I also put a lovable in my hand. So in
[00:01:22] the giving me the deep money and they mix mix them up my prostate vibrate. But
[00:01:29] also I can do drywall. That would be awesome to be doing drywall while you're
[00:01:35] getting your ass fucked. Who's getting a call? Is this you Adam? I don't
[00:01:42] mind you. You getting a call from St. Martinville Louisiana. Oh yeah dude.
[00:01:47] Freelen. It's me. Daddy jam. Daddy jam. I'm not calling for some ball. Come on
[00:01:57] down. I'm gonna send a river boat over to the Jefferson. We're gonna take your
[00:02:01] old way down Louisiana. I got I got a pair of dice carved out of alligator bones.
[00:02:07] I'm trying to throw your ass. You open his ass up and uses uses it uses whole
[00:02:13] canal as a crap staple. Are you doing that Adam? Mm-hmm. Well using your boy
[00:02:18] friend from from St. Martinique, Louisiana. Well no but in high school the cool kids
[00:02:23] did convince me to let them play C. Low inside of my asshole. C. Low. Yeah C.
[00:02:29] Low green. It's a dice game. I got tricked. I like my dice dude. Dice is fun.
[00:02:39] Dice is fun. I never played dice in ice go. I watched some some spirited dice
[00:02:43] games. But I never partook. I was scared of gambling. I lost some money in
[00:02:49] middle school gambling football. Much like sex. I could only do it at
[00:02:54] Jewish summer camp. That's right. That makes sense. Surrounded by other yeah other
[00:02:59] Tay sacks carry where you weren't where you weren't intimidated. You were the
[00:03:04] cock of the wall. We would play we would run C. Low. Who was the high who's the
[00:03:09] hottest guy I've lost. I've been the first person out in every game of poker
[00:03:13] I've ever played mine. The nice thing about it is that you have the confidence
[00:03:17] of being a card shark. No I don't. You cut you have an aura. No I just don't care
[00:03:23] because I accept that I'm gonna lose. What I know yep you know that you'll
[00:03:28] die. That's what a guy in the Greek Revolution which is coming up the
[00:03:32] Eco Steep empty Marti the 25th of March. It's on my calendar. We're not doing
[00:03:37] any of this on the show. I will let you know we're not. We are bitch. This is where I
[00:03:40] draw. You know what it's next week. So I'm drawing a line. No we're celebrating
[00:03:44] and I'm putting my nuts in the line. I'm drawing the line on top of your nuts. I'm
[00:03:48] coming back over with the pencil. I don't care. Now your nuts have been stabbed
[00:03:52] through by no my nuts are too fucking the skin is too thick. The most powerful line
[00:03:56] drawing machine. No and even that John Henry. Even that my nuts rejected that John
[00:04:02] get it. John cut this boys up with the line and that's how he actually died
[00:04:07] trying to write a line on my nuts. It was my nuts were too strong for John Henry.
[00:04:11] Remember the story he still beat the machine. But he died. So yeah so he
[00:04:16] destroyed your nuts. He destroyed my nuts. He tried. And the line is drawn and we're
[00:04:21] not talking about the revolution beat the line drawing machine. I know it's
[00:04:25] art the machine. R.I.P. machine is another thing trying to draw lines on my nuts.
[00:04:30] I P. He did a better job. He did a better job. He did a better job.
[00:04:34] I'm a machine. Fuck John Henry. My nuts are stronger than both. So how about that?
[00:04:39] Well you can damn anti-p well you can damn anti-p well you can damn anti-p well
[00:04:43] you can damn anti. Yes sure I will. Then it's then we're clear. There's a line
[00:04:48] drawing through your balls. No there is no line drawn through my balls. My balls
[00:04:52] are too powerful to draw Henry. John Henry died. He died and so did the
[00:04:57] machine. Kind of hypocritical of the black lives. If you think about it. I'm
[00:05:01] not even engaging in the politics of the whole thing. I'm telling you the
[00:05:04] straight facts about my nuts versus you trying to draw a line. Your gay facts
[00:05:08] from the coming out of your mouth. I was really confused when I read that story
[00:05:12] because the of the wrestler sexual chocolate. Yeah also was named Mark he
[00:05:17] was named Mark Henry. Yes but I always assumed that it was the same guy. Well I
[00:05:21] think I for years. Yeah they're both black. They're both to have the last
[00:05:24] I will be awesome sexual they're both powerful. You know what I'm gonna teach
[00:05:28] my kids it was John Henry or Mark Henry. I'm gonna teach my kids it was Mark
[00:05:33] Curry from Hanging Miss Mr. Croop. That would be pretty cool. Hanging with John Henry.
[00:05:38] Remember I remember Bitty did about how the way you fuck is the way you dance.
[00:05:44] Yeah knows a lot of people said back in the day. And he would do a very
[00:05:50] exaggerated air hump. I fuck with two left feet. You do. Yeah. They're both in
[00:05:55] your ass. They're both inside of me. Two guys named fucking Tim Timothy have
[00:06:02] their feet in your ass. They both take free kicks. That's how you come. That's
[00:06:06] why you're into soccer. You want soccer players to take a free kick into your
[00:06:10] ass. I really enjoyed the Arsenal. Limpy Akos Parreas. The result last week. Fuck you.
[00:06:17] Our two our two teams. We're the last Venge and again on Thursday. We beat you
[00:06:23] last year bitch. Yeah. So suck my Venge for last year. That's a matter. That's the
[00:06:28] thing. When the little guy comes in and he beats the fucking moneyed British
[00:06:31] cock suckers which by the way I have a fucking actual claim to only be our
[00:06:35] cock us. You're a little you're some fucking Jew from Nevada that pretends to
[00:06:39] like fucking Arsenal. I hit the fuck out of you. I was I like you should be
[00:06:43] why you should be fucking rooting for like fucking Las Vegas FC or whatever
[00:06:48] bullshit MLS club they have. I like whereas my fucking family
[00:06:52] bleeds red and white. Only be only be only be I can. Oh my god. Stop. Stop.
[00:07:00] These last 10 pounds is Boston people. Tell them people what they are like
[00:07:06] pretending like his balls were in a visty. My balls were in reject your line
[00:07:13] drawing. My balls rejected outright my brother. Don't even fucking pretend.
[00:07:19] I'm fucking pretending to align over my boss with the black community. Now one
[00:07:24] accomplishment. It's drawing a John Henry drawing a line to you ball. He almost
[00:07:29] did and that's why he put a little mark on my balls compared to the machine
[00:07:33] which couldn't do anything. That's how he died. He used all his mortal strength to
[00:07:37] put a barely a mark and you can see it. I'll show it. I have a little beauty mark
[00:07:41] on my nuts. I which is true and that's the result of John. I have a beauty mark on
[00:07:47] my shot. It'd be funny to make. Yeah I do. It's gotten me out of a lot of
[00:07:51] accusations. They couldn't point me out in the line. Yeah. Every woman's like I've
[00:07:57] never seen that penis again. How about we make February Crohn's disease history
[00:08:05] month. Yeah it should be funny to rewrite just over right. Do you do black
[00:08:10] people get a different month? No. They should get April just longer. Yeah and
[00:08:16] 420 legalize it. April showers. Bob Marley. Hitler's birthday.
[00:08:21] You know what it would be extra ironic because on his birthday you could show
[00:08:27] the fucking highlights of Jesse Owens. Yeah a lot of people a lot of people
[00:08:33] don't know about Hitler. He didn't like Jewish people but he was incredibly
[00:08:36] down with the ground. He was a wigger. They had their own John Henry
[00:08:43] that competed against the gas chambers. There was a black guy that they just
[00:08:49] he would do in the camps and he would beat the shit. I beat them all the
[00:08:54] death with with black karate with what Wakanda Roddy. Wakanda. Yeah Wakanda Roddy.
[00:09:00] Which was the original martial art. Yeah Wakanda Maga. Yeah which is really so.
[00:09:05] The Chinese crackers came and stole it from Timbuktu. Timbuktu used to be a dojo.
[00:09:12] The laborer dojo meant out of solid gold and the Chinese crackers. Yeah the original kings of
[00:09:20] afternoon were called sensei. Timbuktu is such a cool name. The original
[00:09:26] sensei Timbuktu. Who was the guy who was like the richest guy of all time?
[00:09:31] Michael Douglas. No no. There's some fucking an African king. That was me.
[00:09:35] Is it Miley Solasi? Yeah. No. I don't think that's right. No. There's some guy from antiquity that had more
[00:09:43] fucking jewels than anyone. It was Kirk Douglas. It was Kirk Douglas.
[00:09:47] But my family is actually black. African kings. Michael Gay. I'm
[00:09:53] melanin. I'm melanin with stonron from us by the evil scientist you could. Oh that's so fucked up.
[00:09:59] Oh that's what Michael Douglas. He couldn't still be gay though. Yeah I hate that kind of shit.
[00:10:06] I actually got cancer from eating pussy. A Facebook page turned my mind around after the fact I was
[00:10:13] doing research on my female general mutilation is actually beneficial. It makes if you if the
[00:10:21] clitoris was removed it would either would be no reason to eat pussy. And that way cancer
[00:10:27] has a warning from from God. Yep. From black. It's the way it's the way to stop cancer deaths from
[00:10:34] emphysema. You want to ban cigarettes. You want to chop off clits. Exactly. Stop
[00:10:39] forgetting cancer in their throat. And you know what I'm against it because I'm one of those guys.
[00:10:45] This is this is some of the Sabine Wallach that was in the library of Timbuktu.
[00:10:49] The Gojo Slash library of Timbuktu. The Golden Library of Timbuktu.
[00:10:58] Six million years ago Timbuktu was the capital of the world. That sounds so tight. And that was
[00:11:03] the number that was the most powerful number and the Jews stole it. To hide their lives. They chose
[00:11:09] their secret black history of the Douglas fan. That is so fucked up. Do you have anything to say
[00:11:22] about that Adam? Do you want to apologize to Michael Douglas? Well so the library burned down
[00:11:27] so there's no records of it. So once again the perfect crime. Library burned down because it
[00:11:32] was too sexy. Back then libraries went for nerds. They would go there and you would read and then
[00:11:40] women would come and suck a dick. Dude that would get me to read. If that's what libraries were like.
[00:11:47] I'll be a fucking bookworm. And then the honky ass crackers had to make it lame. Had to make it
[00:11:52] gay to read so they could steal all the knowledge for the non-pussy getting themselves. That makes
[00:11:57] sense. That nerds had nothing. Nerds couldn't get any pussy and hot guys had more knowledge.
[00:12:04] The cracker mind invented nerds to keep the educated black man. Pussy getting educated black
[00:12:11] men from reproducing. So we had to invent basketball. Now they're doing it again. They made low
[00:12:19] lobonnie on hot. They took away of being sexy. Yeah. It's not your mic. And it's the same thing as a
[00:12:26] library. She was also a cartoon basketball court. They burned down her big ass. One of my favorite
[00:12:34] things is a hidden city or a lost city. Yeah. Where it's gold. And they're just like no like in the
[00:12:40] gel Dorado. Dorado is what I'm thinking. And in every movie it's like there's like a monkey guy
[00:12:45] who's like swing. You know there's like vines you have to go through. King Louie. Yeah. He was a he
[00:12:50] was a Douglas. Really? He was one of my early late ancestors. Yes. That's awesome. He was my dad's
[00:12:56] brother. I guess my uncle is your uncle was King Louie from the jungle. From the jungle.
[00:13:03] That's awesome man. Yeah, dude. I wish I could find El Dorado. And then blue showed up and he
[00:13:09] looked so sexy that it ruined. In the coconut bra. In the coconut bra. Blue wasn't a black
[00:13:15] man. Blue. I always thought it was a black man. No, but who's blue is like William Holt.
[00:13:20] Oh, is it? I have no fucking idea. Blue felt more like a John Candy type to me. Blue is voiced by
[00:13:27] George Herbert Walker Bush. In the CIA days. Yeah. Yep. Blue's fucking sign up. Uh,
[00:13:37] Mowgli. I tell you, uh, we're going to suck dick. I don't remember what fucking George Bush was.
[00:13:44] I read my lips. I read my gay lips. Read my pussy lips. I love penis. Fuck my ass. No new taxes.
[00:13:56] The only thing I'm taxing is your cock. This aggression. I'm sucking it so in my ass will not stand.
[00:14:02] So Dom Mustaine has fucked me in my ass. Dude, I can't believe that stupid fucking idiot lost
[00:14:12] to Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton just raping bitches in Arkansas. Slick Willie. Slick Willie. Yeah, but
[00:14:17] through with the sacks on our cine. Oh, yeah. People forget he was probably the most like
[00:14:24] the slickest guy. He was fucking cool. When I was in like kindergarten or pre-k, I thought he was
[00:14:28] the coolest guy. How do you? Yeah, it's like the economy wasn't that bad. And you were a fucking
[00:14:33] president already. And you lost to some fucking asshole. He raised taxes. I think he raised taxes.
[00:14:38] Yeah. And and Perot came in and fucked Ross fucked his ass. That's true. That's true. Yeah.
[00:14:44] Shouts out to Ross's weird ass. Ross Perot was a little dig as the years. Where's he up to? I
[00:14:49] knew a comic that he's doing like in like 2006, 2007. Ross Perot material. Well, yeah, he would
[00:14:56] do shit about the Iraq war. But it was clear that he wrote the jokes in the Gulf War because
[00:14:59] it was handed in a Ross Perot impression. I love it. My brother, you got to cut that. You got to
[00:15:07] find it. You close her, bro. No, dude. That's this big one. Ross Perot. That's this big one.
[00:15:12] My dad would tell me a story about a Ross Perot. I remember a bedtime story that involved Ross
[00:15:17] Perot. I believe he fucked the my dad made up the story of Ross. Ross Perot troll doll fucked
[00:15:27] the lady from powering. This is a bed. This is a bedtime. Yeah. And I'm kind of doing the math on
[00:15:33] how I became the way I did because I was like five years old. That's not even a complicated
[00:15:38] equation. I sort of a one to one ratio. Simple math for you, right? My dad would tell me a story.
[00:15:46] He was just he would just do it the way because I had a troll doll poster in my room. I think I
[00:15:52] got it for free. You were a fan of the troll. Well, I got it for free in elementary school. But
[00:15:56] yes, I was a fan, by the way, the joules nothing wrong with being a fan of the fucking troll dolls.
[00:16:01] They were cute. So I can talk about how much he likes. What's wrong with jewels?
[00:16:07] Jewels are awesome. Jewels are the one thing that have fucking maintained through the course of
[00:16:12] human history. I maintain their value. Yeah. For antiquity, people were looking at shiny
[00:16:18] shit to today when we have a ton of stuff that makes more sense. Yeah, that's more impressive.
[00:16:23] A television is more impressive than a jewel. Having said that, the jewels there's jewels
[00:16:27] inside the television. Oh, fuck. That's what the television is made out of. It's a liquid crystal.
[00:16:33] That's awesome. It's made out of liquid crystals. That's so tight. Anyway, my point is having said
[00:16:38] all that. Jewels still are there's a visceral positive reaction to them no matter who you are.
[00:16:47] And I don't think there's anything anyway, back to my story, Adam. Okay. So I had a troll doll
[00:16:52] poster and Ross Perot was in the news at the time. And I also asked for a power Rangers tie-in.
[00:17:00] And he told me a story about what the fuck was the Chinese lady?
[00:17:03] I want to say Trini, but that was the leader. I read a reader repulsive. And so the troll doll.
[00:17:14] I don't know. Okay. He didn't fuck the troll doll was a Ross Perot themes troll doll, I believe.
[00:17:19] And the troll doll didn't fuck her, but he did destroy a building. And he left the reader repulsa
[00:17:27] while she was taking a piss. So you could see her pussy.
[00:17:29] Jesus Christ. We should do a troll dolls. It's just little down syndrome guys with bad hair.
[00:17:35] Hair is awesome. Yeah, they got a pair of punk rock downs.
[00:17:40] That was a good that was a great time. I don't know any clothes.
[00:17:43] They're takes were they're just coming down. Down skid coming answer the blue hair.
[00:17:48] You're like, Mom, look, I'm punk rock. Yeah. Off to school. She's like off to school.
[00:17:54] Time to keep smoking cigarettes while I give while your little brother is stomach.
[00:18:02] We're kind of in for a ramming for a FAS with this one.
[00:18:10] Were you not a fan of the troll dolls, Adam? No, it's for girls.
[00:18:15] Well, what did you like when you were like four?
[00:18:18] Nood turtles. I like those two. Michael Angelo every time funny guy, party animal pizza.
[00:18:25] No, you were not. You were the fucking purple one. Don't even fucking lie.
[00:18:29] Who's into the no one's in Donatello. Yeah, this math is you.
[00:18:33] You're fucking. Wait, the purple one's Leonardo is at the yellow one.
[00:18:37] That's blue. There's no yellow one. There's orange red fucking.
[00:18:41] I was in the raft. Oh, the pit stops cool. You have a lot of that inside of you.
[00:18:52] He had the, you have the forks. He had the daggers.
[00:18:55] You let you like that his weapon. You could also use it.
[00:18:58] Yeah, I was just combined with it. No problem.
[00:19:01] I could use it as a utensil. I could also barbecue something with it.
[00:19:04] And I could kill my enemies. Tell me that ain't fucking awesome.
[00:19:09] I mean, I watched the movie, but yeah, not the cartoon.
[00:19:12] I mean, literally the only thing I like really was into was the Simpsons.
[00:19:20] You didn't like any Saturday morning shit and any like power.
[00:19:24] I would watch it. But yeah, I wasn't really like into anything.
[00:19:27] Interesting. Nothing with violence in it. Nothing with fighting.
[00:19:39] You did nothing about getting revenge on your enemies.
[00:19:42] No, it really was because I didn't watch this instance for a long time.
[00:19:45] And I guess it was like when we were like met, I remember there's one time we went over to like
[00:19:51] who's that fucking like Haitian guy that.
[00:19:56] We went over to his shout out to Roman.
[00:19:58] Jamaican. We went over to his apartment. Everybody's like watching the Simpsons.
[00:20:01] It was the first time I would watch like maybe like season five, six shit in like a while.
[00:20:05] And it was I mean, it was like fucking me up.
[00:20:10] It was like it was like going back to church or something.
[00:20:20] No, it's not that it was obscene. It was just like a weird to be here with all these.
[00:20:24] To like a return to instruction, like spiritual instruction.
[00:20:29] Roman had a nice little fucking pad where he was it was near the draft house.
[00:20:33] Yeah. We would all get we'd all smoke weed and play video games there.
[00:20:37] It was really were the best days Marvel versus Capcom tournaments.
[00:20:42] I loved being a fucking open mic or in DC.
[00:20:47] That last year in Baltimore, you guys had already moved here.
[00:20:49] That was when I was like, it felt like you seem so happy.
[00:20:54] I was so even down there for the day that we just got fucked up and went to Indian buffet.
[00:21:01] That's why you came to the old house on Charles.
[00:21:04] And then we like going to Indian buffet and then remember watching the Sam high video
[00:21:17] And the only one that I love is I think they hire an Indian guy to go.
[00:21:23] I don't know what the video is, but he goes,
[00:21:30] I think they, I think that was an MD video team where they hired an Indian guy to go.
[00:21:38] I will repeat that phrase to myself so often.
[00:21:41] Just one of those days where you've like, you've been on the road.
[00:21:43] You haven't like brushed your teeth or changed your clothes in three days.
[00:21:46] You were like sleeping on my couch with your shoes on like fully clothed with your shoes on.
[00:21:56] Now if one were to crash in my house, I got a spare room.
[00:22:01] I got a fucking series of pillows and blankets back then.
[00:22:08] Charging for us for a buffet and then like saying the book.
[00:22:21] Don't take our fucking money and then all we have is-
[00:22:23] You got to get that vaccine so we could go to Chinese.
[00:22:29] At the end of my diet, I will make one week.
[00:22:34] You're allowed to have like, I know you're supposed to like,
[00:22:36] when the diet ends, you're allowed like one, just one cheat meal.
[00:22:42] Well, there might be a couple more than one.
[00:22:49] You got to do like a week of maintenance.
[00:22:51] And then that first weekend, you're allowed to go like nuts.
[00:22:54] But then you got to go back to maintenance for at least like three weeks.
[00:22:58] Because like I said, my little bros are turning 30.
[00:23:02] Because I got- I cut and then I maintained.
[00:23:04] And then the first time I went nuts, it was like, all right, well,
[00:23:08] now I'm just going to fucking go completely off.
[00:23:14] When you're normal, when you're like, lepton is going nuts.
[00:23:46] I heard Nick say, let me in to let mouth.
[00:24:11] Six million years ago, we all talked like Michael Douglas.
[00:24:24] It was gay in the play sports and learning was cool.
[00:24:29] Yeah, a black man with a library card, right?
[00:24:36] You would think that I don't think that to be good.
[00:24:38] No, I heard that on the brother through the zone.
[00:24:48] It's also too, isn't that like every homeless person in the world?
[00:24:57] As long as they're only jacking off, actually, it's fine.
[00:25:11] Allowing you to jack off their and take a nap.
[00:25:14] That's how they keep them away from it.
[00:25:15] They turned Timbuk to into a place to master.
[00:25:24] That's what it would be funny if that's what Hothaps and
[00:25:51] Making like the no cheating for it out of folders and looking at pornography.
[00:26:03] Yeah, but I will be going buck while law.
[00:26:09] Everyone was saying buffets are dead because of COVID or like birthday.
[00:26:14] Well, we're never going to blow out candles again.
[00:26:19] Is that something that people are like spit and stuff?
[00:26:24] It's like, bro, I didn't stay in the fucking house for a year
[00:26:28] to live like a fucking bitch the rest of my life.
[00:26:31] Yeah, anything this has made me more social.
[00:26:35] Give me the second give me the second fucking shot.
[00:26:56] I had to stop Rosalki as my grandfather,
[00:26:58] who was cheap as fuck, but would get his ice cream
[00:27:03] And then we would go home and he would make us fucking pasta.
[00:27:07] But with nothing in it, just like cheese.
[00:27:15] Butter pasta and cheese is an incredible meal.
[00:27:16] Just describe fucking macaroni and cheese.
[00:27:19] Well, just we left over pasta from the fridge.
[00:27:24] I was like, I'm going to make you lunch.
[00:27:43] There's too fat of a meal that the government.
[00:27:49] That's the one you're knowing about it.
[00:27:56] The crack of race invented brunch to turn everyone gay.
[00:28:12] It was honeydew with the side of pussy juice.
[00:28:33] Yeah, I honestly, I do like a little quinoa power bowl.
[00:29:00] The big fat meat sandwich places in New York City.
[00:29:11] Apparently, the meat cutters that catches are unionally.
[00:29:20] Let's just try to get to the logical conclusion here.
[00:29:26] Because the crack of rice is so pastrami from the black man.
[00:29:40] It's actually, they're like, they're Arab.
[00:29:44] Are they black Muslims or Arab Muslims?
[00:29:51] A lot of black people are Muslims that are in Arabs.
[00:29:53] But they're like N.O.I. Muslims, which is like...
[00:30:09] Just make that just John Goodman blackface.
[00:30:16] He really, he really showed cheese what was what a couple times.
[00:30:23] And not only cheese, but also library card,
[00:30:26] which it was incredibly terrifying to me.
[00:30:28] Also, a stringer bell. Do you think you could take any,
[00:30:34] do you think you could take Brother Muzzo and Adam?
[00:30:53] Damn, I need my fucking, I need my fucking Greek yogurt to pick me up.
[00:31:03] Not the yogurt itself, but they're little drinkables.
[00:31:09] Chobani is a fucking Turkish counterfeit.
[00:31:15] Damn, I don't like, I don't like 297 pound stuff.
[00:31:23] For years, you told me you're fucking lose.
[00:31:33] You're fucking, I can't even make eye contact.
[00:31:43] I see you both tucking in your erections.
[00:31:45] Like it's middle school and I'm a hot teacher.
[00:31:47] My boner is firmly behind my leg right now.
[00:31:50] Shout out to my six grade biology teacher with the big fake titties.
[00:31:57] How did you know you could tell they were fucking.
[00:32:01] How do you get fake titties for some kids, you know?
[00:32:07] You know why you're going to get breast implants for some children?
[00:32:16] First of all, though, me saying Chobani sucks by dick has nothing to do with
[00:32:22] being on some kind of weight loss regimen.
[00:32:25] It has everything to do with the fact that it's a Turkish stolen product.
[00:32:29] The way like Danish people pretend they can't.
[00:32:32] All of the important Greeks were from what is now considered.
[00:32:38] Don't you even fucking start with me right now.
[00:32:41] 10 days away from fucking Greek independence.
[00:32:44] Crypto and you're going to fucking do this to me right now.
[00:32:50] None of the Greeks who are famous were from the part that's now Greece.
[00:32:58] They were Athens at the part that's now Greece fucking Athens.
[00:33:03] Yeah, but that was because it was a game.
[00:33:05] It was a great gift from the from the Turks.
[00:33:22] Socrates would walk with Aristotle and they would say,
[00:33:27] it's Glenn Close's pussy, but it's suck.
[00:33:31] One day there will exist a being whose pussy will suck
[00:33:37] That was an African man named dialectic.
[00:33:57] You know what I was thinking about the other day is they should make weed teddy grams.
[00:34:04] They should just keep going with the bear shit.
[00:34:07] You wipe your ass and you get fucked up.
[00:34:17] And you would make your asshole feel better.
[00:34:20] Because sometimes you could take a rough shit.
[00:34:22] You need a little something to come down.
[00:34:27] When it gets too horny, when you pass a fire station.
[00:34:30] I got back in this smoking that cushy dream.
[00:34:38] Wait until the next time we talk about it on the show and then go buy it.
[00:34:43] I'll tell you what's so bad is their reply guy web presence.
[00:34:51] Maybe we should pick up a premium different sponsor.
[00:34:56] We should just start doing ads on the premium.
[00:35:02] And it should be all like the regular premium of issues.
[00:35:05] We should sell ad space like Microsoft and SBC global.
[00:35:10] And then the show has to be extremely clean.
[00:35:20] I'm starting to think that yeah, he is a bad guy.
[00:35:23] It's funny because it's like people like pretend it's a conspiracy theory that like
[00:35:27] the point of the vaccine is like sterilizing people and population control.
[00:35:33] But like in a roundabout way that is like the explicit reason why he's vaccinating people in Africa.
[00:35:41] Because infant mortality rates are higher there.
[00:35:45] And so to offset infant mortality rates people tend to have more kids.
[00:35:50] So African people have like nine fucking kids because the three of them are going to die.
[00:35:54] So if you vaccinate people lower the infant mortality rate, it's going to stabilize like birth rates.
[00:36:00] So the goal of vaccinating people is to make sure that there's less African people.
[00:36:07] He wants less babies less dead babies also, but less babies in total.
[00:36:13] But if you're going to baby dies, how about it is said when a baby dies?
[00:36:17] I don't want to stick up for Bill Gates.
[00:36:21] But here's my argument. Back in the day women would have 17 children in Africa.
[00:36:28] And that's the way African penis and pussy still trained to fuck more
[00:36:36] Well, it's so with vaccinations wouldn't wouldn't it actually create more
[00:36:40] Africa because they're still going to fuck.
[00:36:41] I you got to see what happened if that's happening.
[00:36:44] Then we'll see if Bill Gates maybe changes his tune.
[00:36:46] He's like, actually, we should just kill them. Actually, we should do what I wanted to do and kill them.
[00:36:58] Yeah, what's up with he makes water out of shit.
[00:37:07] The gayest thing about Bill Gates that I've ever heard is that he has like a full scale
[00:37:12] That is pretty just to sit in just to sit in.
[00:37:18] Yeah, yeah. I don't think the other day I was a mad that you have a racing wheel in your spare room.
[00:37:23] Yeah, well, in the entire room that's you pretend is a race car.
[00:37:26] Well, it's but there's an actual there's something attached to it.
[00:37:29] It's not like I just have like the like a non functioning Ferrari in my house that I sit in and I go,
[00:37:41] Maybe he has a simulator and that would be fucked out.
[00:37:44] You're telling me if he has some kind if he uses all his Bill Gates might to create a video game
[00:37:48] just for him where he feels like Luke Skywalker in the thing that wouldn't be cool.
[00:37:55] Saveras on the record proving that he loves Bill Gates.
[00:38:02] Oh, you dare trying to bait club me right now.
[00:38:08] You proved your point that you love Bill Gates and you think he's cool.
[00:38:12] No, what I'm saying is if you had a fucking spaceship in your house and it played video games,
[00:38:22] Don't try don't try and fucking don't try and I'm so
[00:38:25] I'm so smoke on the fact that you and Bill Gates have something.
[00:38:28] I guess I just don't like the guy, but you're right.
[00:38:30] He's he's unassailable and how cool he is.
[00:38:35] Number one public advocate of Bill Gates.
[00:38:39] It's Stavros Alkyl. If anything, I like the guy who's the fat guy with Apple.
[00:38:47] Yeah, capital is not going to make this a meme right now.
[00:38:58] I am a little irritable because my first meal today has no carbs.
[00:39:02] I had a fucking cabbage salad with a chicken breast.
[00:39:20] Fighier yogurt, which is the better kind and it is Greek.
[00:39:25] You know, why the fuck would I want to drink it?
[00:39:32] Homeless people and teaching them about.
[00:39:37] We work for one, two hours and we have lunch for two hours a week.
[00:39:44] I eat cashew, go lean crunch and then I drink my yogurt on the way to the.
[00:39:49] On the way to the bodega to buy beef jerky and then I come back here
[00:39:52] and I play a super Mario Sunshine on the switch until I pass it off.
[00:39:58] stuff about how these pigs aren't pulling themselves up by their bootstraps?
[00:40:06] First of all, I still weigh 276 pounds as of this recording.
[00:40:31] And stop hanging out in this basement passing a box of teddy grams around with.
[00:40:35] Pretty weird that you you force fed yourself for 31 years just so you could get the COVID vaccine
[00:40:45] Don't you even start talking about people jumping the line.
[00:40:50] You would do that and sort of a weird fucked up way is Bill Gates.
[00:41:01] Nick is pissed because I pointed out that he's got a fucking racing wheel
[00:41:05] in the same manner that Bill Gates does.
[00:41:13] It's not like a fucking thing I had custom.
[00:41:19] Is Bill Gates is the kind of money we can make a fucking X-Wing.
[00:41:23] You got the kind of money we get a whole extra room.
[00:41:26] If I had a fucking TV and a fucking racing wheel.
[00:41:29] If I was Bill Gates, it wasn't an extra room.
[00:41:33] Accepted that I will not do any work in there.
[00:41:48] It's a picture of Bill Gates everywhere.
[00:41:59] So I was like, dude, you know, he dropped out of Harvard.
[00:42:05] Why am I supposed to be impressed that he dropped out of Harvard?
[00:42:08] I think anyone who goes to Harvard's loser,
[00:42:10] whether they drop out or not, thank you very much.
[00:42:13] When we were in Boston, you're like, we have to see Harvard.
[00:42:22] It was like something about Autumn just makes me.
[00:42:24] It makes me wishful for my year's academia.
[00:42:31] to mount a fucking good defense right now.
[00:42:44] If I was gay, I wouldn't fuck Bill Gates.
[00:42:50] Jiggly blonde made a lot more sense than legally obese.
[00:42:58] Going to Harvard Law to impress Bill Gates.
[00:43:00] I'm not doing it to impress Bill Gates.
[00:43:02] He dropped out of court at him anyway, which I didn't even know.
[00:43:05] Because I don't know factoids about the guy.
[00:43:17] what I would have is a biplane collection.
[00:43:20] Because you can see you can fuck guys and girls and girls.
[00:43:22] So I could fly around pretending to be a Nazi pilot.
[00:43:27] There would not be a non-functioning x-wing.
[00:43:33] But you would do it to be a not to talk to the funeral.
[00:43:37] If I had Bill Gates money, it would all be the real shit.
[00:43:40] I thought I'd say he doesn't have a simulator.
[00:44:00] You can tell me that civil warring actors don't have both outfits.
[00:44:04] There's a type of guy that just has wallet.
[00:44:12] They like one side way more than the other.
[00:44:16] If I had Bill Gates money, I would fucking-
[00:44:18] I would buy every women breast implants in the world.
[00:44:30] Unless they didn't want them, and then I'd say,
[00:44:31] well, here you go, I'm going to pay for your college.
[00:44:34] It would be funny to be that kind of billion.
[00:44:37] Breast implants are college if I was Bill Gates.
[00:44:41] Except trick billion and stuff for us all here.
[00:44:44] And sometimes I overrule you and I choose for you.
[00:44:48] And if you're cool, if you're extra cool,
[00:44:52] I could definitely do the shitty your breast implants in ITT tech.
[00:45:00] Is ITT tech just like we're like, we're close, forever.
[00:45:03] And they just like locked out all the people that paid tuition.
[00:45:07] I think they went out of business and they fucking like-
[00:45:10] People were on their way to class and the door was just locked.
[00:45:15] And they're like, you're not getting your money back.
[00:45:19] Take it off with like fucking bankruptcy court.
[00:45:30] What do any fucking vocational programs that work exist?
[00:45:38] I don't know if Job Corps is still around,
[00:45:45] I think yeah, like all there's like ITT.
[00:45:51] Unless you go for like, I think like a dealership.
[00:46:29] Retarded, they live in a shopping cart.
[00:46:40] No, I think I'm conflating test stories.
[00:46:46] My friend Chris told me about his roommate crying
[00:46:52] Well, let's figure out which movie it was.
[00:47:01] It was my mind compressing memories out of laziness.
[00:47:08] You said it on the second year of autumn.
[00:47:16] and used to go door to door getting pussy.
[00:47:25] I love putting on movies when I'm hooking up.
[00:47:55] He's just in that shack like sucking another retard's day.
[00:48:01] They're going to let me on the football team.
[00:48:08] I've never seen the movie, I don't think.
[00:48:15] I guess who would be the bully in that-
[00:48:22] been involved with was that clip of him saying
[00:48:38] Dude, it looks canceled because he's an alcoholic
[00:48:41] I also haven't seen him in like 15 years.
[00:48:46] For being another black man in America.
[00:48:52] I don't know, but he has a son that's an actor now.
[00:49:03] Shout-out to him getting pussy from Buffy.
[00:49:16] That'd be like if the fucking dude you're getting a
[00:49:19] delved guy was married to Flo from progressive.
[00:49:25] Yeah, she was destroyed by the pandemic.
[00:49:27] Yeah, she was destroyed by the pandemic.
[00:49:29] Shout-out to the AT&T girl with big ass titties.
[00:49:33] Even though I'm not that big a fan of her haircut,
[00:49:38] They kind of only cast like girlfriend material and
[00:49:44] It was fine to bitch that's got like season one PAM vibes.
[00:49:51] And then you watch like a T-Mobile commercial.
[00:49:53] It's like get unlimited anytime minutes.
[00:49:55] And you're like, damn, I'm so fucking lonely.
[00:49:58] She's like, okay, I'll get whatever the phone she's-
[00:50:10] Damn, I would love to get some titties to really press the
[00:50:14] I remember when I discovered hugs in middle school
[00:50:25] When they're just minding their own business?
[00:50:34] You're like, I'm sorry, I'm a radio-licious.
[00:50:45] until an accident made him a retard himself.
[00:50:48] And he had to use his skills to unretard-
[00:51:05] Back to what you were saying about getting hugs in middle school.
[00:51:09] I might have said this on the show already,
[00:51:11] but we had a cast party after this play
[00:51:16] My dad picked me up at it and I was like-
[00:51:18] He was waiting for me because I wanted to hug every girl
[00:51:22] because I could feel her like budding breasts.
[00:51:33] He's like, because you're hugging every girl.
[00:51:35] And he thought I was like, sweetie, you're amazing.
[00:51:44] Because I was like, I thought I'm hugging girls.
[00:51:47] and there's like a girl just asked a question.
[00:51:54] Thinking about what I was supposed to find.
[00:51:56] Thinking about like just fucking like, you know,
[00:52:02] I mean, I used to have like a recurring fantasy about-
[00:52:05] I think I probably said on the show before of like-
[00:52:10] What's the fucking movie with like, instead of clockstoppers?
[00:52:16] Yeah, the watch thing where you stop time.
[00:52:27] And imagine when you stop time like sound,
[00:52:33] Well, it's not silent, but there's like a deep echo
[00:52:39] It reverberates through the whole world.
[00:52:44] And then everything kind of like atomizes into these bubbles.
[00:52:50] If you checked out, there's a ton of pornos like this,
[00:52:58] It looks like you eventually your vision turns into like-
[00:53:01] You're like jumping to a pool upside down and you see the bubbles.
[00:53:05] From your breath, it's that, but it's all-
[00:53:07] And then every bubble is just you having sex with a different woman.
[00:53:14] And then the watch could beep beep beep.
[00:53:20] And then they're like, yeah, I think your son has schizophrenia.
[00:53:29] And he said he was in some kind of pool jacket.
[00:53:32] Like there was bubbles with girls in them.
[00:53:37] You're so- At first we thought he was having a seizure,
[00:53:40] but he was ejaculating for 20 minutes straight somehow.
[00:53:47] I gotta fucking- I need a second brother.
[00:53:53] I have a superpower that I can't discuss.
[00:54:03] It just- It's hard to be one of those kids.
[00:54:12] That's an awesome little tag to Nick's story.
[00:54:18] I wonder how hard is it with like Flash Animator
[00:54:20] to like take episodes of recess and add like a retarded?
[00:54:26] Another retarded kid just says dick out the whole time.
[00:54:29] He's just standing next to all of them.
[00:54:35] but I just saw like a still going around-
[00:54:40] That one we can all- we're all on board with.
[00:54:49] and it was on like way too late for me to be watching cartoons like in life,
[00:54:55] I don't think it was on that late for you watching.
[00:54:57] I think I was in like eight, seventh or eighth grade,
[00:55:04] I feel like it's like now I'm into adult shit pornography.
[00:55:07] Watching fucking good fellows every day.
[00:55:09] I started jacking off at I believe in sixth grade.
[00:55:19] You know, because I couldn't even come yet at that point.
[00:55:23] Because you hadn't figured out how to put things in your ass.
[00:55:27] No, I could have an orgasm, but I didn't come.
[00:55:36] and he just sat there listening to the unforgiven by Metallica.
[00:55:53] Are you getting another call from Louisiana?
[00:56:00] Mr. Friedland, come on down here and saw another side.
[00:56:06] I'm trying to make nut gumbo in your ass.
[00:56:10] I'm just trying to talk about how middle school is hard.
[00:56:20] Sit down and tell your fucking kid how hard middle school is.
[00:56:25] Dude, it was just so confusing how I felt like I was finally hugging girls
[00:56:30] and my dad said that that was gay behavior.
[00:56:36] You should be hugging the boys in your class.
[00:56:40] Feeling that prince press against your thigh.
[00:56:48] Yes, if you compared it and you hated it-
[00:56:51] If you hated it, then you would know that you're not gay.
[00:56:56] You can't let the girls see you want to desire them.
[00:57:06] We should get some Hershey's kisses after that.
[00:57:08] They should sell Hershey's kisses in like-
[00:57:13] Hershey's kisses in like an M&M sized bag.
[00:57:20] And I agree with you, Nick, and I'm sorry.
[00:57:26] But I just think he's gay, dude, from what I can tell.
[00:57:31] Well, that's not how you make a gay son.
[00:57:38] The fact that everything about you is gay, but you're straight.
[00:57:47] It's got to be rare to go back to back gay gay, right?
[00:57:54] Do you think it's genetic or something?
[00:58:05] Gay gay was invented by the crack of scientists.
[00:58:12] Jakub was an evil black scientist who had invented white people.
[00:58:21] That's the best part about the hotep shit is half of it is just like
[00:58:28] It's like half of it's just for like piece together from Sega Genesis games.
[00:58:31] That's what they call white people, Jakub.
[00:58:40] The black man is the fastest creature on earth until Dr. Eggman stole the chaos emeralds from Tumok to library.
[00:58:50] To create a shadow version of black people, cracker the hedgehog.
[00:59:01] The hotep shit should really incorporate the chaos emeralds.
[00:59:23] I was only on the little handhills to the shit that Genesis.
[00:59:30] and then fucking like all their shit went on Nintendo stuff.
[00:59:38] Yeah, and then they ported those Sonic Adventure games to GameCube.
[00:59:43] I remember it happening late in the game.
[00:59:45] I didn't think it was happening in the game.
[00:59:53] Because I remember it being like kind of fun.
[01:00:12] It's right there where it's like just hard enough.
[01:00:17] The best part of Mario is when you have the fireballs.
[01:00:24] To Nicki-Suit is not the best part of Motherfucker.
[01:00:27] It's- but not really because you're fucking falling down.
[01:00:30] You could still- you can get- you had mad ups.
[01:00:33] I'll be honest, I don't like the 2D Mario shit.
[01:00:44] And I even like the one that they just straight up stole
[01:00:58] It was like a nightmare world you go into.
[01:01:03] You don't have that like nightmare world mechanic that was fun.
[01:01:06] It was Zelda that was on the Wii Twilight Princess.
[01:01:10] I never played Zelda until the most recent-
[01:01:14] I actually still now that's the only one I played.
[01:01:23] so he can get away with it and he goes around.
[01:01:29] Twilight is like right before the sun goes down.
[01:01:38] Anyway, whenever it is, that's who you have.
[01:01:44] That's when you put on a dress and get fucked.
[01:01:46] And that's why you're the Twilight Princess.
[01:02:06] I did have a line drawn through my balls
[01:02:09] So I don't even try that stuff at the end real fast.
[01:02:15] And we should have Hershey's Kisses and-
[01:02:18] Let's end the episode on a fucking note of agreement.
[01:02:21] We should have Hershey's Kisses in a memo-
[01:02:31] That was the original truth in Tim Bucky.
[01:02:37] It was named after Tins, Tins, and Radio's Teeth.