Cum Town | Premium | 04/04/2021
[00:00:00] We'll go ahead and start the recording.
[00:00:12] If yours isn't working, there's really nothing
[00:00:30] Who wants to be an Australian millionaire?
[00:00:33] Your chance at winning the equivalent of $500.
[00:00:53] As you know, the Australian alphabet only has three letters.
[00:00:59] I believe you said answer one, two and three.
[00:01:05] Maybe you said A, B and three, but I'll remember three.
[00:01:09] Oh, well, I don't remember that because there's four options.
[00:01:13] But they labeled one, two, they labeled ABC and D.
[00:01:17] And so I say one, two, three, four is the host of his Adam Gay.
[00:01:23] And then in parentheses, who wants to be an Australian millionaire?
[00:01:33] It's like that Kenny Rogers song, the homo.
[00:01:37] And in parentheses, he's got to know when to suck him.
[00:01:41] That's that's because everybody remembers the chorus of the song.
[00:01:46] Which is Adam, those are in the suck them.
[00:02:03] You got to think he's going to be animated.
[00:02:12] But he's saying he says Australian shit.
[00:02:43] Regis, where did you pick up all that cunt?
[00:02:49] That would be so awesome if Regis was alive.
[00:02:57] I'd guarantee you if you put little salmon shorts and boat shoes
[00:03:00] on Osama bin Laden and like a open collared linen shirt.
[00:03:06] You could just put Osama bin Laden in Melbourne.
[00:03:11] And everyone in Melbourne, there would be one guy
[00:03:15] Is that something like that's right, he said.
[00:03:39] You're choosing some like cargo shorts.
[00:03:40] No, listen, I'm with you except for the turban.
[00:03:44] Honestly, more than anything, the turban plus being 6'6.
[00:03:48] I had the best, the best single origin Ethiopian in the other time.
[00:04:15] Just because my name is a son of a man.
[00:04:22] that would be even like a shitty akava,
[00:04:27] People are like, isn't that just Clark Kent?
[00:04:30] it just has to be the Superman looks like Clark Kent.
[00:04:35] That was a dumb point everyone would make about Superman.
[00:04:39] No one recognizes him because he has his glasses off.
[00:04:41] They just, no, they're just not putting the part in the comics
[00:04:43] where he goes into like Starbucks and people are like,
[00:04:50] I'm actually just a, I'm just a pussy New York media journalist.
[00:04:56] I've been trying to fuck my coworker for four years.
[00:04:58] I'm just some, I'm a reporter that got drunk off of the three
[00:05:06] Now I've gone back to being a fucking loser.
[00:05:10] And begging Lois for a whiff of her pussy.
[00:05:15] So in the comics, did he fuck the Clark can't fuck her
[00:05:20] I think he, I think they both fucked her.
[00:05:23] Well, I used to think that the Trump was like the reaction.
[00:05:29] If they both fucked her, wouldn't she know his cock was the same?
[00:05:32] That's where it really starts to fall apart.
[00:05:36] I think his dick had a little glass of on top.
[00:05:37] And you know she's a journalist, bitch.
[00:05:39] So she, you know, she's squealing online.
[00:05:42] She's got a fucking, you know, she can't keep it.
[00:05:46] And she's like, Clark and Superman's cock look alike.
[00:05:48] Hey Lois, maybe later you could be Lois' brain.
[00:05:56] Clark got him the shitty men in media list.
[00:06:00] As you know, I'm going to go fuck her as Superman.
[00:06:04] I was born in Mexico and it's part of my culture.
[00:06:21] White latino is one of the biggest scams of all time.
[00:06:26] Especially when they're like Argentinian or Brazilian.
[00:06:29] You're like, yeah, you're clearly the descendant of Nazis.
[00:06:38] The Resistance Libs on Twitter, who like when the Kewomo thing started, they're like,
[00:06:44] Let me know when it's 27 like Donald Trump.
[00:06:50] Now there's a fucking vaccine shortcutting or.
[00:06:55] So he cut the line while people were dying and set a bunch of people, the nursing homes.
[00:07:03] It's a little convenient when we're trying to impeach Trump for a fourth time.
[00:07:07] We're trying to impeach Trump after he's already dead.
[00:07:13] Oh, when when Joseph Biden is trying to get save this country, they're trying to throw
[00:07:29] I got to say, shout out to Andy Cuomo, though, for every time he knew a accuser comes out.
[00:07:31] He's like, all right, everyone gets the backs.
[00:07:34] And then he's like, guess we're getting free weed.
[00:07:37] So the more the more bitches to come out, they're like, yeah, he's actually rasping.
[00:07:41] I think we're going to get some cool stuff in you.
[00:07:49] We might have fucking Medicare for all in this in the state by the by the if the amount
[00:07:54] of women that he, you know, tried to fucking he offered to eat a meatball sub between their
[00:08:01] Why don't we just start with Medicaid for facts?
[00:08:08] That doesn't sound like an Italian compromise.
[00:08:11] Look, I don't want to do it for everybody.
[00:08:25] It's called being you got a boy old, you boil the viruses out of the blood by being
[00:08:32] Yeah, they'll they work out, but they don't work out.
[00:08:38] It's called doing fucking curls in your garage.
[00:08:41] When you suspect your wife is cheating on you, you fucking bitch.
[00:08:53] Did you judge mami, I know let me get some pussy.
[00:08:56] Deach is going to be how I get pussy this whole summer, dude.
[00:09:01] How do you say summer in Italian says on do says on do says on do.
[00:09:19] You're the one who went to Paris without me.
[00:09:25] Le bu, le bu ca ca pien esta, a fuck people.
[00:09:30] I know winter is in Fair know, which is a cool.
[00:09:34] Dada, something that didn't get mentioned.
[00:09:40] That peppy Le Puth was canceled because he didn't ever he never because they're like,
[00:09:43] Oh, he's a rapist, but because it's a cartoon, nobody was like he never actually gets the
[00:09:49] All he does is do exactly what Andrew Cuomo did.
[00:09:53] So you can't you can't like be mad at conservatives for defending a cartoon that they probably
[00:10:00] You're doing it with an actual person who is an Italian.
[00:10:09] No, peppy, you know, I draw a line of seeing peppy rape that cat in an alley.
[00:10:14] Yeah, but beyond that, he just has no game.
[00:10:17] It's like the babe.com article about a disease.
[00:10:21] I remember when I was a kid, I wanted him to get posted.
[00:10:23] I want to peppy to find love because they were the same color and shape.
[00:10:33] Everyone the same color and shape should get a fuck.
[00:10:35] Maybe maybe a lot of people aren't racist.
[00:10:39] It's like white should be with whites and blacks should be with blacks because that's
[00:10:49] That's why I don't have a problem with mixed race couples in the sense that there's anything
[00:10:52] wrong that these people can't love each other.
[00:10:57] It's there's now, well, how, where am I going to know where anybody is?
[00:11:01] You could put their children though with like an Egyptian guy.
[00:11:08] It's just they have to come out the same color.
[00:11:11] So like an Indian guy could be with the Puerto Rican lady.
[00:11:15] And vice versa in your completion issue.
[00:11:20] You're more like a cut your color swatch guy.
[00:11:27] The tigers we should kill all the male tigers and kill all the female lions.
[00:11:33] And then they're only allowed to create one.
[00:11:37] Lion the main with the stripes and then create one species just because there's there's
[00:11:41] not enough variation between lies and tigers.
[00:11:44] No, but the liger's the liger's can't procreate.
[00:11:52] We actually want Egyptians to only be able to marry.
[00:11:56] You can just get to remember something from Napoleon Dynamite.
[00:12:03] That's the one thing I remember from my science.
[00:12:08] And I have to say it's pretty cool that you can create.
[00:12:11] If you ask them shit like that, you're like, what's the deal with mules?
[00:12:14] And if they answer, then you don't need to talk to that person ever.
[00:12:33] And then if they go off, you know, that's it.
[00:12:37] No, but again, I don't think you can ask them directly.
[00:12:40] Because that's kind of like, if you have to drop it, you have to drop it.
[00:12:47] We're living in an age of permanent interrogation.
[00:12:49] Everybody under the under the bright light.
[00:12:55] So we don't, we have to be a beacon for not snitching.
[00:12:59] I'm trying to be a bacon for going to Bob Evans after the show.
[00:13:12] Except I'm, I like to drive, I obey the laws.
[00:13:25] We're driving 90 miles outside of New York City drunk to go to Fudd Rockers in South
[00:13:34] And now we're, we're sexually harassing the waitress and then leaving before the bill
[00:13:40] We're having a rock star afternoon tonight on dashing diners and dashing.
[00:14:01] I would have done a million times is like, when you put, you know, when you put something
[00:14:07] in your pocket at the store and then you forget about it, but you're still in the store
[00:14:11] And you're like, well, at this point, I have, I forgot it already.
[00:14:16] It's as good as walking out without realizing.
[00:14:20] I've stolen a lot from stores for sure, but I've never skipped on a bill in a restaurant.
[00:14:25] I knew a guy that would shoplift constantly and he would be like, you have only, only
[00:14:33] Don't, don't even try to turn this into some politics.
[00:14:36] I mean, it is better to shoplift from Walmart than some fucking little ass boutique.
[00:14:45] I mean, maybe if you were like taking some fucking like, it's not politics.
[00:14:51] One of those, one of those like minimum wage, like character assessment tests where you
[00:14:55] like, where they're like, if one guy steals from this place and the other guy steals from
[00:15:00] this place, which is worse, maybe I'd still, I'd like say that's okay.
[00:15:04] But like doing your shoplifting out of any kind of like principle or as if you're, it's
[00:15:09] It's just, I won't steal from a smaller store.
[00:15:12] I will steal from Walmart or Target or something.
[00:15:16] Or from giant, like I've said before, in Baltimore, the giant on 33.
[00:15:21] But the reality is, is you don't need the steal for many of the places.
[00:15:26] You're just doing it to get the rush of stealing.
[00:15:40] I buy media that like, if I like a movie, oh, actually I don't download stuff.
[00:15:45] You know, I mean, I steal, I break in the cars and stuff.
[00:15:49] Kick down doors and take shit out of people.
[00:15:51] I mean, listen, if I'm really hungry, I'll steal the pussy Cosby style.
[00:15:57] That was, it's a funny, there's a funny ghost face interview where he's like, that's the
[00:16:08] I think he just kind of went on a little tangent about Bill Cosby taking the pussy.
[00:16:20] But he came out on the right side of the issue if you ask me.
[00:16:24] I'm trying to be on the tight side of history.
[00:16:28] Trying to get some of the history booty.
[00:16:33] That's an awesome fucking thing to want to be.
[00:16:38] I think we're definitely on the tight side.
[00:16:43] You know what I was thinking about the other day?
[00:16:46] We got Chet Hayes saying, saying some white boy.
[00:16:49] Wow, what a hilarious video and everybody's reaction to it.
[00:17:00] It just makes me so happy to be participating in this cultural movement.
[00:17:04] What I think is fucked up is that Chet is of Greek descent.
[00:17:22] Anyway, Tom Hanks' wife is a lot of dog.
[00:17:36] Jay Leno, I don't know, where it's just like, yeah, I'm sorry.
[00:17:39] I said all that stuff about the dog eat.
[00:17:55] It's the problem, not just fucking having Jay Leno.
[00:18:00] Who hasn't been on television in 10 years.
[00:18:03] The most despicable thing he did was take the Tonight Show back from Conan.
[00:18:14] I don't understand what, so Korean people do eat dogs.
[00:18:34] But it's like, I don't understand, because it's like, I get it where you're like, you
[00:18:39] be like, oh, black people are always late.
[00:18:42] It's like, that's an untrue stereotype.
[00:18:46] If you say that Chinese people are always eating dogs.
[00:18:51] That's like, the French people eat frogs.
[00:18:57] And is the people like, well, do you make fun of French people for that?
[00:19:08] I did see a couple of videos in middle school of white women fucking dogs.
[00:19:16] There's nothing, there's nothing a white woman loves more than having a dog fucker pussy.
[00:19:26] And I'm not gonna, I can't say it for sure.
[00:19:37] I don't know if it's, I don't want to say I can confirm it, but I'm pretty sure.
[00:19:43] I think about like a, like a woman, like making a dog, like an old woman making a dog eat
[00:19:48] She's doing like the old lady grandma thing when they have like a beige on freeze or whatever
[00:19:55] So it's a lady making like a German Shepherd eat her pussy.
[00:19:58] And she's like doing the like a, Oh, give us kisses.
[00:20:11] But yeah, we're allowed to talk about that stuff.
[00:20:12] You can go on fucking, you can go on Rachel Manau and talk about that all day long for
[00:20:17] And I have a problem, but you just say like, so what kind of sauces are they using on
[00:20:27] And I just want to know, because here's the thing, what if the whole fucking like, don't
[00:20:35] talk about it is some bolt because the rest of Korean cuisine is probably the best food
[00:20:39] we're on the record is my favorite food.
[00:20:45] If I go to a Korean barbecue restaurant, if that dog is good, don't hold on the menu.
[00:20:51] I mean, us from having that's the most important thing.
[00:20:55] What if dog would have eating dog is like their N word where it's like the most fun
[00:21:04] And if this turns into some only we can eat dog thing, I'm not.
[00:21:09] You know, I don't think that's one of the other.
[00:21:15] If if dog is delicious, I think it's fair that they get it.
[00:21:19] I think this is how they're going to do it to us.
[00:21:21] They're going to make they're going to bring dog eating over here.
[00:21:23] So the jokes are done and it's called the N word.
[00:21:27] So when you go to a restaurant, white people can't order it.
[00:21:31] You're like, can I point to like, no, you have to say the menu items out loud.
[00:21:35] I wanted to do like this is a non pointing.
[00:21:42] I wanted to do a joke about how I was sorry because the Asian hate about about other
[00:21:47] ring Chinese by Jews having Chinese food on Christmas and some dude already that was
[00:21:55] What you so fuck about orientalizing the others.
[00:21:58] Yeah, it has nothing to do with the fact that every other restaurant was closed.
[00:22:04] It's a bunch of Jews in the fucking 50s were like, you know what?
[00:22:10] We're going to orient the Chinese motherfuckers.
[00:22:17] Now to my point, Rita Wilson, her mother was the Rathia Zigu.
[00:22:26] Yeah, constructing the son Ibrahim off, but he was born in Greece to suck my brain off.
[00:22:37] Anyway, from the young Turks, he converted from Islam to Orthodox Christianity upon his
[00:22:48] Wilson was raised in the Greek Orthodox faith.
[00:22:51] So anyway, the point is how do you think my name is in Wilson?
[00:22:56] The point is and Tom Hanks says he models his portrayal of the character Victor Navaroski
[00:23:02] in the film The Terminal on his father in law.
[00:23:05] The point is Rita Wilson is chliss Greek.
[00:23:25] The push has got to be good to marry Tom Hanks.
[00:23:29] You need to shut the fuck up about you're going to say about Tom Hanks.
[00:23:34] How is he the first guy to get coronavirus?
[00:23:36] All of a sudden he got the Chinese motherfuckers got it first.
[00:23:40] And when everyone was noticing that building without windows.
[00:23:45] I got a big pair of tits filled with milk.
[00:23:55] It's a splash, but it's from my pussy juice.
[00:23:58] I've been on an island drinking my own titty milk for years.
[00:24:06] No, remember that building in lower Manhattan with no windows?
[00:24:13] There's this building in Tribeca that's like a communication.
[00:24:22] And then Tom Hanks saw it because he's CIA.
[00:24:29] You're so he has and you're so bad socially.
[00:24:31] Look, you need to leave the conspiracy theories to the guys that love going off the rails.
[00:24:47] The other kind of I like staying on the tracks.
[00:25:15] Splash does about fucking a hot mermaid with big tits.
[00:25:17] You've got males about a cute chick that has a mom and pop children's bookstore and he
[00:25:33] Honestly, is it Joe Volswier versus volcanoes?
[00:25:47] There's so many movies I haven't seen yet.
[00:25:58] How about a train that runs into my ass that which is still loose from giving birth.
[00:26:16] And by the way, he has by no means a guy.
[00:26:22] And so my point is Chet Hanks is Greek has Greek citizenship Greek from his mother's side.
[00:26:29] And he's going to declare a white boy summer where you're trying to say you're not white.
[00:26:43] We're fighting for our own fucking identity.
[00:26:46] If you look at the white wink wink totem pole, it goes Jews and then Greeks.
[00:27:04] So then that makes us the purest of white.
[00:27:09] I'm saying if it's about power distribution, then Jews are the widest of the white.
[00:27:18] You're saying Jews are wider than Norwegian people.
[00:27:21] Well, I mean, you can't, that's the unspoken truth.
[00:27:29] No, of course, get back to the dog eating thing.
[00:27:34] But in reality, we all know what's going on here.
[00:27:37] And we allow it because we don't want to go to jail.
[00:27:43] Oh, I'm saying is, you know, but you know what?
[00:27:49] I love that when guys whose whole thing is saying the Jews run everything or like, and
[00:27:54] You mean like everyone does constantly?
[00:27:58] Anyway, man, but you can't, the dog eating thing.
[00:28:11] What about Disney's like, Oh, the combat Asian hate were having an Asian actress play
[00:28:21] And this time she's not making a coach.
[00:28:26] I'm on the, I'm on the, how did that take so long?
[00:28:38] I've been driven insane by saying my own thing.
[00:28:46] The joke is that she's gone mad at the sight of her own name.
[00:28:58] The excessive energy stores of dog meal to power her brain to Adam, please.
[00:29:03] In the 21st century, that means after the year 2000, yeah, dog meat is consumed in China,
[00:29:09] South Korea, Vietnam, Nigeria and Switzerland, Switzerland.
[00:29:22] This is what I mean with the completionist thing.
[00:29:23] It's some weird bullshit German, French hybrid.
[00:29:30] The Swiss are more chocolate than human being.
[00:29:36] I'm trying to get stuck on some chocolate fed.
[00:29:37] So after all this is awesome, we are from the land of chocolate.
[00:29:44] And I think Nick to answer your question, that's exactly why it's racist.
[00:29:47] You don't hear nothing about the Swiss eat and fucking, you know, bulldogs.
[00:29:55] We have to shift it to the Swiss to even it out.
[00:30:01] Well, I can't, I like it thinking for Swiss dessert.
[00:30:06] To be honest, I would rather eat Korean dog than Swiss dog.
[00:30:09] If I had my option, Zurich is the city there.
[00:30:14] What's a, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want sweet dogs.
[00:30:17] They're the only two Swiss Geneva city, Geneva.
[00:30:32] But isn't the Alps, the Alps just surrounds Switzerland.
[00:30:36] But so you could go to other places that have the Alps.
[00:30:49] And we're looking into all of it on dashing diners and dickheads.
[00:31:00] And I love eating food and then sucking it down.
[00:31:05] So there's this, they got Swiss chocolates, of course.
[00:31:08] So there's the, you want to get a, we get some Easter bunnies after this?
[00:31:15] Well, I will be eating an entire rabbit to myself.
[00:31:21] They're saying as of the 21st century dog meat consumption in China is declining or disappearing.
[00:31:28] In 2014, dog meat sales decreased by a third.
[00:31:31] Well, what the hell are they eating, protein powder?
[00:31:34] No, chicken, the most fucking, the most fucking, the most chicken feed.
[00:31:41] They're good for making a broth or a stalk.
[00:31:43] They are because they have a lot of, because they have a lot of collagen in them.
[00:31:51] Because I've been getting into like weird Chinese bullshit.
[00:31:53] I've, anytime I go to a Chinese restaurant now, I'm like, yeah, let me get the forbidden
[00:31:59] And the dog shit, by the way, that's ancient, ancient lady penis.
[00:32:06] Ancient duck duck, uncircumcised penis cheese.
[00:32:16] I have seen some chicken feed at a dim sum place that looked borderline tasty.
[00:32:21] Yeah, but then you bite into them and it's like, they're all, it's bones with a very
[00:32:25] limited amount of like, like goo on the outside.
[00:32:30] And then it's just, I mean, it's just not, there's not, not enough there.
[00:32:38] Like here's the thing, when I can see a feather on a piece of chicken, fucks me up.
[00:32:43] That's the thing with feet, I so like instantly see that they're a part of an animal.
[00:32:50] It's that they reminds me of meeting an animal.
[00:32:52] I like to just be in a fucking, I don't like to think about the moral implications of killing
[00:32:57] I like to just be chowing down on a fried piece of fucking meat that I can't identify
[00:33:05] Would you ever have like a pig's ears surgically grafted under your head?
[00:33:12] You said it like it was jumping off of the point we were making and I was listening intently
[00:33:16] and then you switched it over on me and asked me if I would look like a pig.
[00:33:21] I would have a surgery to make myself look like a pig.
[00:33:24] And I don't appreciate that by the way.
[00:33:29] I'd use the cadence as if, as if it was a related point to what we were saying.
[00:33:33] I thought you were going to ask me if I would eat a weird piece of pig.
[00:33:36] And then while I'm looking at you like you're having a real conversation with me, I recognize
[00:33:41] what you did was ask me if I would rather have ever have surgery to look like a pig.
[00:33:45] Well, I didn't, I don't recall it being that way.
[00:33:52] I'll take into consideration when constructing further lines of equity.
[00:34:10] It breaks my heart every time I eat a piece of bacon.
[00:34:13] We should rather, I mean, we should dogs deserve to be way more than pigs.
[00:34:20] But imagine what kind of psycho you'd have to be.
[00:34:29] Because babe came out and it was a hit and then that's some ants a bunch.
[00:34:42] Well, I think in 1995, classic Friends Zone.
[00:34:46] There was more money spent on speculative scripts in any other year like in history.
[00:34:55] But yeah, they probably were just chasing trends.
[00:35:01] You don't get like the double whammy of any movie.
[00:35:03] I think the last one of those I can think of is the prestige and the illusionist.
[00:35:22] Which one of them had David Bowie played Nikola Tesla, I remember?
[00:35:45] You're like, oh, it's got Bobby De Niro in it.
[00:35:48] When people say Bob, Bob is the one that really fun.
[00:36:03] I say Dr. Chillabs were like, Tony was the best guy.
[00:36:07] Yeah, you know, because they just wanted a show that they were pals.
[00:36:16] What are you going to say when me and Nick die before you?
[00:36:22] Yeah, it sucks that you get to live long.
[00:36:26] Actually, I'm trying to live longer recently.
[00:36:29] And then also the most tallest members of the show, Dada, first.
[00:36:42] I don't think you're the first part of the sentence.
[00:36:45] But no, because I said the first part and you were silenced.
[00:36:53] I finished the sentence and suddenly go, wait a minute.
[00:36:56] The second part is what I disagree with.
[00:37:13] And then you went to Lulu Lemon with your girlfriend and you bought matching running
[00:37:20] And then you texted everyone you know wearing the clothes saying, I'm going to do it.
[00:37:29] You're going to live forever because you eat like fucking four grains of rice.
[00:37:35] Why Japanese women live longer than anybody?
[00:37:42] I mean, if you think about it, make sense.
[00:37:44] Every time you put something in your body, there's like a chemical reaction that introduces
[00:37:50] That's what does it make your cells age.
[00:37:54] So if you don't eat or you body works less, well your body works less.
[00:38:02] So me and Stav, it's like I'm the genius of the mentality.
[00:38:09] And so my brain needs to come up with stuff like one of them.
[00:38:22] And I have to be churning out constant good vibes to match the negativity of the show.
[00:38:28] While you're over there basking in the sun.
[00:38:30] Thinking about your three fucking, your three fucking, sweet curies you're going to have
[00:38:36] The piece of expired pita that's aging in the back of a mom and pop health food store.
[00:38:51] No, I did buy my lunch before I came here today.
[00:38:56] I'm bringing like, it's like a lamb bowl.
[00:39:09] I, on a non-workout dish, I stirred all the sauces with my penis.
[00:39:21] What the hell kind of question is that?
[00:39:25] Have I saw your girlfriend got stuck in the Suez Canal?
[00:39:41] I agreed with this because I fuck because the nurse is, if the nurse ship is my wife,
[00:39:49] I'm not fucking a bunch of Egyptian cargo motherfuckers.
[00:39:59] First of all, a pirate didn't take over it, so they wouldn't be Somali.
[00:40:03] I don't know, but just bad- I don't know.
[00:40:11] Yeah, there's no one in so much conflict over there with Israel and stuff because you
[00:40:15] think that the Jews should own a place called the West Bank and a place called the Suez
[00:40:54] The way the fight on this Golan Heights place you think is called the coupon heights.
[00:41:02] They should call it expired pieces of black culture heights in terms of things the Jews
[00:41:16] We change the name of the West Bank to the West Gym.
[00:41:19] A Jew will never step foot in there again.
[00:41:28] Mom West Banks and I've got big tits and I'm beating everyone in Gaza.
[00:41:34] I think that from my tits, they're filled with the HIV virus.
[00:41:42] If that happened- If that happened, then maybe I would believe
[00:41:45] Tom Hanks was part of the State Department.
[00:41:48] If he went over to Palestine and he was using his big, juicy breast to breastfeed a bunch
[00:41:53] of children, but secretly he had injected his breast with the HIV virus.
[00:41:59] And I'd say this smells a little state department.
[00:42:08] I'd say when Epstein dies, it's like, you know, they did this to show us their power or
[00:42:13] And Tom Hanks was a big pair of juicy, big pair of tits.
[00:42:16] They give them big pair of fat, say a ceremonial Palestine filled with AIDS milk.
[00:42:22] That would really be flexing the power.
[00:42:25] Does it take a man so beloved and turn him into such a villain?
[00:42:29] They're doing this and they're laughing at you.
[00:42:34] Tom Hanks wants to put his titty in your, your kid's mouth.
[00:42:40] Dude, that would be interesting to see how many people would sign up for free breast milk
[00:42:47] The Michael Rappaport would be the first guy.
[00:42:54] The only way to get it is to suck it out of Tom Hanks's breast.
[00:43:05] He's like the new guy and it's trying to work his way up to the Illuminati.
[00:43:10] They're never going to let him in the NFL.
[00:43:27] You got to respect the last two ish wager.
[00:43:31] I mean, even like Vanilla Ice now, his name's back to being like Rob Van Winkle.
[00:43:39] He made a couple of the homeboys back from my aldace.
[00:43:43] It is funny how trashy is and how much his name is.
[00:43:51] Yeah, it's me and my twin brother of invented Bitcoin.
[00:43:57] Me and my twin brother invented being wad and sang the unwind.
[00:44:11] That's the most white trashy he's weird.
[00:44:14] He looks like an like an affable Canadian guy.
[00:44:27] Why don't you give Palestine back to the people who belongs to any dead white men and
[00:44:35] We need to give white Palestine back to white women.
[00:44:45] Let those horse horse teeth ass bitches with their fucking little ass bangs have it.
[00:45:12] You're in a room with your friends that you've known for a decade.
[00:45:17] You've been doing a show with you five years and you're sweating so hard.
[00:45:29] It's also you guys are in the shadows with your jokes.
[00:45:36] The show doesn't have to be good either.
[00:45:51] I wonder if eating dog makes the pussy taste better too.
[00:46:01] Well, anyway, clip board outside the mall.
[00:46:06] Excuse me, ma'am, I'm doing a test of eating dog makes the pussy taste better.
[00:46:10] Would you like to participate in a quick survey?
[00:46:26] She'll be wearing a t-shirt that says being a middle school rule.
[00:46:31] Does it have a giant cum stain on my pants?
[00:46:35] I'm like, yeah, I'm learning how to ejaculate because I'm going through puberty for the
[00:46:44] Anyway, my teacher's going to get really mad and probably sexually abuse me and the other
[00:46:48] students if you don't let me eat the pussy to find out if dog meat makes it taste sweet.
[00:46:58] If you haven't even as you're the control group.
[00:47:01] As long as you're some type of Asian, we're good.
[00:47:06] Because there's a supplementary test about the sideways thing.
[00:47:11] Because we're learning about the scientific method.
[00:47:13] And sometimes you can test two things at once, two variables at once.
[00:47:22] According to literature, there's no reason why a sideways one should taste any different
[00:47:27] But it might, no, in fact, we've already did that was last year.
[00:47:34] The way it sits in a might affect the way, you know.
[00:47:38] Man, we're going to have to eat your pussy.
[00:47:42] She's like on the phone with the pulley.
[00:47:50] They're putting the handcuffs on me and even more cum stains appear on my pants.
[00:47:57] Do you have any more lady officers, perhaps a Korean one?
[00:48:01] We could do a test in the back of the squad call.
[00:48:04] But when you send the cane, I'm getting it over.
[00:48:08] Just getting fucking bludgeoned in the back of the head.
[00:48:17] Do you know how much this hurts us to have to do this to a white man?
[00:48:30] Imagine a guy that gets arrested for the he gets arrested because he has a child, a picture
[00:48:41] But it's actually his penis that he's got a picture of.
[00:48:45] And the police are like, all right, just where did you get this child's penis?
[00:48:49] So instead of saying it's a child's penis, he just goes to jail.
[00:48:56] Somebody did that as a roast joke on one of those roasts.
[00:49:02] But somebody's sending a dick picked and then going to jail for child pornography.
[00:49:06] I was just thinking about that guy in jail with his little ass dick.
[00:49:09] Getting rape probably because he's a child for the last year.
[00:49:17] And he's like, yeah, I collect knowledge.
[00:49:24] Yeah, I had a couple of them this week that was getting me.
[00:49:39] Actually, we should be just rebranding the show as friends.
[00:49:52] It fully crosses over into unironics, struggling to understand basic things about the world.
[00:50:01] We start wearing deep V's and like prayer, rosary.
[00:50:03] We start dressing like Osama bin Laden and his new Melbourne lifestyle.
[00:50:09] Dude, I'm so with you except for the turban.
[00:50:12] That's why he's got to be a coffee and house music guy.
[00:50:17] If he was just like, no, I'm just a businessman, then yes, you're right.
[00:50:20] But if he was like some Australian hipster...
[00:50:26] But isn't that the wrong kind of turban?
[00:50:38] He could be like he would still be a Saudi guy.
[00:50:43] I mean, it's not like he would have to pretend to be sick.
[00:50:48] I think seek guys are more apt to be like that kind of guy, in my opinion.
[00:51:06] And I realized like I almost never see Chechens in the wild.
[00:51:08] And I looked it up and I guess there's like...
[00:51:11] There's fucking almost none of them in the United States.
[00:51:17] When they leave, they just go to Europe.
[00:51:28] It was like one of like, I think 200 families total.
[00:51:37] Although every winter while there's like a random place.
[00:51:43] Like Samalians in Minneapolis or whatever.
[00:52:18] Now when Nick says white Russian Muslims, when I say it, it's something else.
[00:52:31] The first Chechens settlers arrived in the US in the 50s and 60s.
[00:52:33] They are a small minority group with a population numbering only several hundred.
[00:52:41] There's a couple hundred Chechens in America.
[00:52:43] And the estimated 150 Chechens families live mainly in Patterson, New Jersey.
[00:52:52] Well, 150 families though, let's say that's four to a family.
[00:52:58] Fresh foreigners, they love to fucking fuck.
[00:53:03] Is Joe Carr about to get a sentence overturned?
[00:53:15] They're collecting to do more completion.
[00:53:22] You could sell Joe Carr Sarnayev's come to some dumb bitch for a lot of money.
[00:53:26] There's some dumb, dumb bitch on the internet that would pay a million dollars.
[00:53:31] You know he's got a couple chicks on the outside that have like a weird fixation.
[00:53:38] Three jahar girls that are still really into it.
[00:54:01] He was chilling with his brother, dude.
[00:54:08] So yeah, let it stay in jail, but he gets pussy every three years at least.
[00:54:16] Wasn't his brother married to like a Dominican chick that he made convert to Islam or something?
[00:54:24] I think we should let prisoners get pussy man.
[00:54:29] Nah, but you know, they're out here raping each other and shit.
[00:54:35] That's why we need to legalize sex work.
[00:54:37] And we need to make it and we need to have the government have horrors that fuck prisoners.
[00:54:43] And that way, there's human rights because pussy is a human right as far as I'm concerned.
[00:54:49] If they're gay, they get the fuck guys.
[00:54:51] Oh, no, she was just a white chick, Tamarles.
[00:54:59] She was pretty hot compared to Latina to go to Muslim to go to Islam.
[00:55:07] You know what I thought was hot, Adam, is the video of you being fucked by an elephant.
[00:55:16] This is the perfect situation for me because you're both gay and one of you got fucked
[00:55:21] That sounds like the perfect situation for me.
[00:55:26] You're teetically speaking on this one.
[00:55:37] When I jacked on to it, I said it was hot.
[00:55:39] In the way a boomer would say sexy to just mean something that they like.
[00:55:51] It's got a really sexy look at my mouth.
[00:55:53] You're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
[00:55:55] Boomers would have sex with everything.
[00:55:58] Yeah, I got my wife just got this new, the new neutral bullet.
[00:56:05] Because that's them, they think they're cool for doing that.
[00:56:13] Fuck you and you're fucking stupid shit you like.
[00:56:28] Don't do not copy the noises that I make.
[00:56:33] That shit sounds fucked up out of sight.
[00:56:43] You're in Pernavar as another one of the ethnic groups in the mountains.
[00:56:47] It's like, those motherfuckers are literally some, that's some fucking like fuck you up.
[00:56:57] I don't think, I don't think like Dagestani is like, it's not an ethnic group.
[00:57:04] Dagestani and then within those there's like 15 different ethnic groups.
[00:57:12] Do they all, are they still all fucking each other up?
[00:57:22] They chill with like no chicks because they're Muslim.
[00:57:26] They just have gun parties with other guys.
[00:57:29] They have some nice cool cuisine that's like kebabs and Chinese food at the same time.
[00:57:39] I love when we get a little Chinese influence.
[00:57:50] We've talked about Cafe Nargis quite a bit and you know what?
[00:57:53] We're going to the beach when it's not done.
[00:57:55] How do you, what's the name of the restaurant?
[00:58:02] No, you don't say Adam you could say it.
[00:58:13] No, no, no, I've been trying to get no don't I.
[00:58:19] You know, I've been getting into spelling.
[00:58:24] I've been trying to get into spelling lately.
[00:58:27] That sounds like a great word for me to sound out.
[00:58:39] And then I pull out a board and I start writing the inward drawing.
[00:58:45] No, we already told you the eye was in next.
[00:58:51] I'm like, well, back to the drawing board.
[00:58:53] And I walk out of the wall and start scrolling swaths to get it.
[00:58:58] I'm like, this is eyeball off steam when I get something wrong.
[00:59:06] Haven't you ever heard that expression?
[00:59:08] You drawing a picture of you raping the person you're in the room with?
[00:59:11] As I say, yeah, my dick going in these mouth.
[00:59:28] He's like, look, this is me drawing himself how old I'm going to go.
[00:59:33] I tried to draw, but I can't do it because I'm Italian and none of us have any artistic
[00:59:44] Sweetheart, can you come in here and join a drawing board?
[00:59:54] And what the science said, the dog meat does not make the pussycase sweeter.
[01:00:00] And now you want to get mad at me for conducting an experiment.
[01:00:13] Andrew Cuomo finally taken down because of Asian hate.
[01:00:17] And thanks for joining us this week, folks.
[01:00:22] This is the pre-weight until Wednesday for the regular episode.