Cum Town | Premium | 04/18/2021
[00:00:00] fuck it dude no god the no car number one road dog or dog this fucking pot
[00:00:09] was so what so you can hear yourself speak
[00:00:17] and i'm trying to listen and be accountable
[00:00:21] you don't like you hate listening to tell your accountability story no that
[00:00:27] the time is is now for me to be accountable
[00:00:30] no the time is now for you to be funny as because that's your job
[00:00:37] the one you're referencing was just a thing i saw on twitter so say it
[00:00:42] it was a black i say who kirk obey and i'll do the whole thing
[00:00:47] it's a the way you said it before it was uh...
[00:00:51] headline that said uh... kid cuddy wears
[00:00:55] address on s and l in tribute to kirk obey
[00:00:59] and then a black guy responded whose kirk obey and
[00:01:03] and a black lady said how about how about you be accountable and googling
[00:01:08] i thought that was funny because it is funny she was claiming that he was
[00:01:12] asking her to do his emotional a lot of you at home may be like a while he
[00:01:16] bullied him to tell the story that he's not laughing he's he's doing it well i
[00:01:21] we're smiling the show for us smiling right now and i'm not going to
[00:01:27] earlier we enjoyed it a lot it's just a thing i saw
[00:01:34] it was kind of pulling t-th to get him to tell it again so i didn't know you
[00:01:37] wanted me to tell it could have just performed it like i would love here's
[00:01:40] a thing yeah i i would like if you if somebody shows effort on the show yeah
[00:01:44] yeah if i've heard it before i'm laughing i know i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i
[00:01:48] yeah you're a t so if you had done it if you had just tried it again i should have
[00:01:52] done it we have a what if Nick wouldn't have done shit but i'd be over here
[00:01:55] i should have got to like i would have given you my full-throated
[00:02:02] i actually i uh that's my version of laughing very hard right
[00:02:06] uh huh well for me the other version of me laughing very hard at something is when
[00:02:09] i laugh very hard at it yes but that's there's no rhyme or reason to that really
[00:02:14] you know unless that one doesn't make sense yeah
[00:02:19] but you know um so anyway there was something else well
[00:02:25] i should have performed it better in the next one yeah okay
[00:02:28] that's all right just know i'm here to help put anything over the i i and i
[00:02:31] appreciate that mm-hmm that's that's part of
[00:02:34] is that what i appreciate that little alley you go over to stop that's right
[00:02:38] i'm i'm throwing what is was it a muslim was the first person to do that
[00:02:42] that's why that's called that the alley yeah yeah
[00:02:47] or they but what's an Arabic word that means to throw a basketball
[00:02:51] yeah yeah yeah i'll leave i'll leave wait no
[00:02:56] Muhammad Ali i guess i always think Ali is the first
[00:03:01] as a lad mm-hmm Ali is the second is muslim
[00:03:05] yeah that's true Arab and muslim is not the same thing
[00:03:08] many will believe that oh i think it's 100%
[00:03:12] yeah no you've been listening to reza what's his name
[00:03:16] uh as Dan evil yeah that was that guy was that guy had such a
[00:03:21] that guy had such a nice run it's like there'd be like a muslim guy that
[00:03:25] kills like 7 000 people and he's like it's racist to pay attention to that
[00:03:29] they're just having monceon uh-huh to be like what about guy
[00:03:32] he's like there he's a theologian yeah religion's expert yeah
[00:03:38] but he would come on to defend Islam every time which is like
[00:03:42] it's sort of counterproductive yeah no because it's better to just not say
[00:03:47] anything yeah totally yeah you don't want look
[00:03:51] yeah because they figured that out now that guy that guy killed all those
[00:03:54] people in Colorado yeah and then news is just like let's just not
[00:03:58] but it's just not pay attention to it then uh-huh there's no reason to say like
[00:04:02] why it's not right you're just attracting attention to it
[00:04:06] yeah because everybody knows it's not you know yeah
[00:04:09] most muslim guys are just like for example the guys that have the seafood
[00:04:14] Egyptian seafood shop by me yeah i'll procure seafood great guys great guys
[00:04:18] great guys you can be friendly with them but you know they probably have a
[00:04:22] no no no no no that's not just a rainy day bomb there's no rainy day bomb
[00:04:27] they're good americans they pay their taxes and they provide very high quality
[00:04:31] seafood horse and they'll they'll cook it for you anyway you want
[00:04:34] being grilled like anybody else fried and you know that's a thing that's
[00:04:37] deemed i wouldn't share a plane with i would share i would share a plane with
[00:04:41] with no hesitation um but the truth is that would they share a plane with you
[00:04:46] yes because you remember i've got another anti-plane night community
[00:04:49] no no no the gas guzzlers no fuck off can you imagine you're on a plane and then
[00:04:55] a fat little more with the old piece guy with a turban gets on
[00:04:59] and he's like uh this is my seat and he's sitting next to you yeah and you
[00:05:04] you have to you have to choose um can i move i just because he's fat let me be
[00:05:08] clear he's fat i'm not i'm not racist i guess which ones were
[00:05:13] yeah you're just explaining this to it is it's like because he's a big fat guy and
[00:05:16] you turn around and the plane is all fat women oh
[00:05:20] you're like actually it's because he's a muslim yeah and then they there's a
[00:05:24] sitting ovation the cheeks are clapping
[00:05:35] uh-huh sitting ovation tonight for the release of the first edible
[00:05:41] personal narrative book strand my body my words i would love to eat a big
[00:05:49] ass jelly by dawn bath custard she was a uh a
[00:05:55] columnist at the scream at the gay scream for years
[00:06:00] and then she wrote on uh hello sexy mmm uh a peacock original yeah a peacock
[00:06:07] original about a woman who weighs 750 pounds she wrote for the blog
[00:06:11] cuntlicious covering covering uh girl superhero movies
[00:06:23] and now her book hog hong hong where's the toilet
[00:06:32] yeah but she'd probably have good lipstick i'll give her that um i just
[00:06:44] want to say uh your book meant so much to me and uh especially chapter three
[00:06:53] the whole the whole chapter is one law is one m and then five million oh
[00:06:59] i really lose and your story about identifying with the chocolate cow and
[00:07:04] the old the Hershey's chocolate milk commercials yeah
[00:07:07] um and you said how come in this instance the brown cow at that job is special
[00:07:13] but in the real world the brown cow is seen as always 10 minutes late to work
[00:07:18] uh-huh the lowest member is the lowest member of society yeah
[00:07:21] and if you could just convince people the chocolate milk
[00:07:26] uh in real life and then you just then i couldn't read the rest of it because
[00:07:30] there was barbecue sauce yeah that somehow got printed in the book
[00:07:35] a big fat hand print of his budget chiffel a polynesian sauce all of it
[00:07:42] and it made it to every single copy somehow there's a grease stain that just
[00:07:46] makes the page translucent dude like glass translucent nachos
[00:07:51] uh a chip is there anything better just to just to make myself clear i am an
[00:07:55] ally with this fictional character yeah and i will say
[00:07:59] might they get so hard when the nacho chip is translucent and and as a bonus
[00:08:04] extra salty come on that is nice isn't that a fucking a nice little bite
[00:08:08] sounds tasty yeah damn i wish i had it i miss a nice i miss just going to town
[00:08:14] on a fucking chipotle bag of chips oh yeah the homemade chips they do
[00:08:19] a good job with the with the like the translucent bag from all the
[00:08:23] water yeah yeah and you know when i was really on my
[00:08:26] shit i would i would squeeze a little extra lemon
[00:08:29] and put even more salt so that the so that would stick to the lemon
[00:08:33] and then we're talking because you like aromatics i love aromatics you know
[00:08:37] i did recently is that i was on the eastern shore and i did the
[00:08:41] the put malt vinegar on french fries and then cover the cover of old bay
[00:08:45] glassic so good a glass not something i want to do every time but
[00:08:50] every they were they were in like a cup and i poured enough malt vinegar in there
[00:08:54] that the vinegar like kind of soaked on the bottom
[00:08:56] and then my cousin was like geez you want some vinegar with your
[00:09:00] fries well shut up you fucking cunt he got it
[00:09:02] you're a she got it yeah no she didn't because she doesn't know what she's
[00:09:05] talking about wow that's how much vinegar you need
[00:09:08] yeah i like i think it's soggy vinegar yeah you want them wet
[00:09:12] still warm but soggy i i can't i gotta be honest i don't have a
[00:09:17] a state method because each time it's like a new
[00:09:21] a new flirtation because i'm not vinegar on my fries is not a go-to thing
[00:09:26] but when i have it's like it's usually around it's a scene from the
[00:09:29] women room exactly and that's why that's why i haven't developed
[00:09:34] uh a a state methodology it changed every time one time you know
[00:09:40] you want to have those at the beach also at a sporting event can be
[00:09:43] nice or you're watching the sundon style london that's how they do it
[00:09:47] fish and chips mama vinegar yeah yeah they like it that way
[00:09:51] never been i can't i wonder to you yo yeah
[00:09:53] for a loop i want to get my dick sucked by some some weird british teeth you know
[00:09:57] i'm saying yeah british teeth big tits big
[00:10:00] is that going on in that little gap to do that
[00:10:03] union jack tattoo directly above her post
[00:10:06] and then it's the hair has grown in the yes
[00:10:10] hairy union no no no the hair also i forgot it shaved me flag over me
[00:10:16] fatty no the sorry for queen straws is be
[00:10:21] hairy admit the pussy hair will be like that the beef eaters
[00:10:25] it'll be like one big long furry strip oh yeah like largest hair like black
[00:10:30] margins hair just uh english woman all shave their
[00:10:32] pussy hair like a top hat yeah that'd be good too
[00:10:36] there's a those are the options that used to be
[00:10:38] insane that they'd wear march hats when i was a kid
[00:10:42] those like that's what's the same you drive you absolutely bonkers it would
[00:10:46] drive me bat eight yeah i don't like that they call
[00:10:50] sosia fanny though it's mental it's mental the queen as gods
[00:10:55] oh rip do uh prince phillip yeah he was a big fan he loves the show i know you
[00:11:00] guys get mad at me for name so you like him because he's greek
[00:11:03] he's not fucking greek i'm pissed off at this proper greek no he's not these
[00:11:08] cock suckers just call the technical difficulties
[00:11:13] these motherfuckers installed some bullshit german
[00:11:16] fucking anglo king german right and after the fucking revolution
[00:11:20] and this cock these cocks are we booted their bitch asses of course
[00:11:24] his real name is philippos no it is philippos look at that motherfucker and
[00:11:28] tell me you greek he's a philippos of lesbos
[00:11:31] no he's not from lesbos from the lesby that's for my that's where my grandmother
[00:11:35] prinsan yeah i know your grandma's brother prinsan so spelipos
[00:11:38] is no she's here i know who you guys can show us from there
[00:11:42] she she's not my grandma's not like me how did you be more greek than she was
[00:11:46] would be cool not having a job you're just famous for
[00:11:49] fucking some rich woman your cousin which is not what we do he's my hero
[00:11:53] dude he's just some incestuous fucking bum
[00:11:56] that's not greek that's pretty you're talking about
[00:11:58] british guy we're talking about greek guys any guy that's getting paid off of
[00:12:02] rich woman and then he just he just goes he goes on vacation
[00:12:05] says racist stuff but in like a kind of like uh but you know what what the
[00:12:09] house is got made out of coffee beans that's a real that's a very meta-terranean
[00:12:15] style racist yeah no it's doing it is that's a
[00:12:18] nice sneak sneaking it in where you're like that's racist but it's clever
[00:12:21] yeah but here's the thing though he comes in from a point of uh
[00:12:25] he comes from a point of uh he's turning your nose down
[00:12:29] you know he's royalty he's got more advantage all this kind of shit
[00:12:34] whereas meta-terranean racism it's uh but he's not royalty he fucked up
[00:12:38] no i mean he is nobility he is he wouldn't have buried the queen if he was just
[00:12:42] i know i know i know how that works but it's like so many
[00:12:45] other people could have gotten that pee and become but maybe he had the best
[00:12:50] deed is what is what do they call it when you're in his position because you're
[00:12:52] not the king of england you're like the crown prince
[00:12:56] the is that it no the crown prince is a guy that's going to become king
[00:13:00] yes you know that you're you're like an idiot you're like crown prince is
[00:13:03] married to the king king regent or something i got a name for like that
[00:13:07] or uh-huh i feel like i'm right and i'm not going to look it up i'm not going
[00:13:10] to look it up either so i'm right we'll leave that to the experts at home
[00:13:14] and everybody you know everybody sucking megan marco's dick for being you know
[00:13:18] on her being a black dick when she was like a she was like a janitor or
[00:13:22] something yes she played a janitor on suits she was a janitor who married
[00:13:28] you know the prince or something the other bitch though too
[00:13:32] but this guy who's just some greek pedophile he's not greek he is her
[00:13:36] fucking cousin they're related he has no greek bloodline yeah what makes it more
[00:13:42] greek other than american's not greek that's hillbilly american
[00:13:46] shit this guy had been fucking like like steel inventing machines all over
[00:13:50] the seaside and it in a fucking that would be a greek
[00:13:54] guy yes in some in some like three cylinder pickup
[00:13:57] truck with his with his brother yustos yeah
[00:14:01] that would have been his life the yustos is not a greek name thank you very
[00:14:05] much you're close but this guy would give you credit because you tried to
[00:14:09] create one from bits and pieces of an eight greek names you do know that this
[00:14:12] guy would be an artist that's called painting a picture of a
[00:14:16] schizophrenic world this guy would be roofing tourists
[00:14:21] on an island while lmf a let me thank you let me take you sugar the sunset
[00:14:25] this show you the real grease that it agrees that we're from everybody
[00:14:31] this is for yeah just used i'll go with yustos for you my friend
[00:14:35] yustos is rape cove dude yustos gets so much p on vacation
[00:14:41] yeah i do have a cousin that he did not does not rape but he does fuck
[00:14:47] a quite a bit of tourist pussy mmm on the beach
[00:14:51] he's like a 37 year old man who like he's still waiting for summer break
[00:14:56] who literally works at bars on summer i think he finally has a career now i
[00:15:00] think he finally got out of it but his his you his like main earning years
[00:15:04] were like during the fucking financial crisis so he just went he didn't have a
[00:15:09] job he just lived with his parents and then he would just
[00:15:12] go to uh go to uh uh a heavily tourist island
[00:15:16] yus and he would work at a rock bar and then he would um rock and roll a rock
[00:15:22] and roll the pegasus shots out to them i think they went out of business
[00:15:26] um god damn it but he would absolutely get his
[00:15:31] get his uncerked cock sucked by some by some you know a nice amount of
[00:15:35] australians were over there that's no it was there
[00:15:39] going around the world giving up pussy just giving pussy away
[00:15:43] yeah that's there that's their primary export because it's a very rocky
[00:15:48] uh island yeah the agriculture's not great they can't really grow much there
[00:15:51] pussy farms or they just send pussy around the world working or working over time
[00:15:57] and if that yeah we'll take some we'll take a couple shipments here if you want
[00:16:00] to send some over from uh from sydney or malbin
[00:16:06] we'll take some or even brits vegas let's not forget oh
[00:16:14] oh fuck dude damn i've been trying to remember something for five minutes
[00:16:18] and i can't oh that's it i watched the time to kill
[00:16:22] which oh yeah which i've been meaning to rewatch for a while now
[00:16:26] and it is so much dumber than i remember it being hilarious movie
[00:16:31] i catch i've never seen i saw the clips you sent us in the group i did see how
[00:16:35] sweaty matthew mcconnahay they're all sweat they're sweating constantly
[00:16:39] because it's uh it's 1996 and like the movie opens with this like racial
[00:16:43] hate crime but all the black people are like sharecroppers
[00:16:47] they're like naked and living in the 1996 in a shanty town yeah
[00:16:52] and uh it's set in 96 it doesn't just come out in 96
[00:16:56] no it's set in 96 and uh what's his name
[00:17:00] samuel jackson is like uh he's a guy whose daughter is raped
[00:17:04] bites like two racists and like broad daylight they just rape her or whatever
[00:17:09] and then they just like then they go hang out at
[00:17:11] perkins nice and fucking charles s dot news to share
[00:17:14] up and he's like i've had it with you boys you know
[00:17:18] like they arrest him and samuel jackson's like oh he's they're never gonna
[00:17:22] like you know they're not gonna be prosecuted so they don't even stay in
[00:17:26] trial while they're like on their way to court
[00:17:29] he like they have to shot of him where he's hiding in the janitor's closet
[00:17:37] just like shadows on his eyes like he's a like an enraged tiger
[00:17:41] yeah you just hear like and then he like kicks down the doors of the
[00:17:44] janitor's closet and mose them down in slow motion with the machine
[00:17:49] got that fucking rocks yeah salute yeah and then the
[00:17:55] movies about like fucking Matthew mcconnichay trying to get
[00:17:58] like him off and then it goes from there to keith or southerland who's playing
[00:18:03] the like fucking like the dead brother of one of the boys that was murdered
[00:18:08] and someone at the funeral is like i'm real sorry about your brother they were
[00:18:11] good boys or whatever and then he's immediately just like
[00:18:15] fucking like you know and then the other guy's like you know who
[00:18:22] put it into this is the clan and they're like i thought the clan was done
[00:18:26] and they's like no they're yeah yeah my friend said he knows a couple of
[00:18:30] guys a couple towns over yeah so keith or southerland goes to meet with like
[00:18:34] this clan you know yeah like he's the clan plug like racism plug yeah yeah
[00:18:40] yeah and then it's like it's uh what's that guy kurt woodsmith
[00:18:46] the dad from from that episode show oh yeah and he's like you did the right thing
[00:18:50] right and they're in like a factory with like coming through like a big
[00:18:54] industrial fan the slur factory yeah yeah well it's just like empty industrial
[00:18:59] space he's like you you did the right thing by coming to see me
[00:19:05] and then he's like uh he's like you know he's like
[00:19:08] white man doesn't have a chance anymore now that they got the NAACP and the
[00:19:12] federal government on their side so true you know or whatever
[00:19:15] and then it's like even i can't like i can't imagine the clan in 1996
[00:19:20] would be like you know like it's good that these guys
[00:19:24] raped to like a five-year-old girl oh was it a kid yeah were they
[00:19:29] fucking these guys like raped and beat up like a like a 10-year-old jesus christ
[00:19:33] yeah and then and then so the clan does exist in keith or southerland and then
[00:19:37] so kurt wood is like he's like you know he's like you
[00:19:41] you can even start your own chapter in the town
[00:19:43] like if you can find six or seven like-minded friends yeah
[00:19:47] and then the next scene is keith or southerland handing out like
[00:19:51] basically like game stop employment forms that you say like the clan at the
[00:19:56] top and it's like name address paper trampol
[00:19:59] that's definitely what you do in the fucking terrorist organization just put
[00:20:02] down your information and the best number to call you back
[00:20:05] and we need an emergency contest as well
[00:20:10] yeah they get a hold of you the clan in where in this town where the clan
[00:20:14] didn't exist and then as a trial is happening there's all these
[00:20:18] protesters and all the white people in the town are
[00:20:20] racist yeah and then sandra bullock is i mean there's always like bullshoes
[00:20:24] that's had bullocks there she's this like there's a woman from boston that
[00:20:27] like loves like capital she hates the death penalty so she
[00:20:30] wants to help mcconnay to get this guy off for the death penalty
[00:20:34] but then the best part about the movie is like it kind of like
[00:20:37] masquerades is this like you know lib like race you know anti-racist
[00:20:43] exploitation kind of thing yeah but at its core it's this deeply
[00:20:47] conservative pro death penalty movie yeah yeah yeah
[00:20:50] to the extent that at one point like you know mathy bakana is like i don't
[00:20:54] say anything wrong with the death penalty and sandra book was like i thought you
[00:20:56] were liberal he's like i am a liberal i don't think that this man deserves to
[00:21:00] die but we absolutely need the death penalty and there needs to be more of
[00:21:03] it yeah yeah and to do that in like 1996 hollywood where every single movie was
[00:21:07] like you know but like you can oh this poor man is falsely like there's dead
[00:21:12] man walking i think i think that miles another one of them
[00:21:15] that was like a big thing in the in the 90s was like the death penalty
[00:21:18] anti-death penalty stuff was that in Tibet but those were the two causes
[00:21:24] who well anyway so so they established a clan in the town and now the clan has
[00:21:28] hundreds of members and so they keep your silence good
[00:21:34] dude he's he's throwing good clan mixers and the clan attacks
[00:21:42] they keep getting attacked yeah so they like they ran out of things for to
[00:21:45] happen in this movie so the first i can't remember first i may be like they just
[00:21:48] burn across and it's a lot and then it's like then there's there's no like extra
[00:21:53] security or anything it happens then they try to plant a bomb
[00:21:56] and it's just up to Charles S. Dutton to like be like give me the bomb motherfucker
[00:22:00] you know and after they attempt to bomb and kill the defense attorney
[00:22:07] still there's nothing there and eventually they do blow up and burn his house
[00:22:11] around is he in it no it's just afterwards he's like going through
[00:22:16] the rubble and he's like you know all of your plots like you know
[00:22:20] why don't you just drop the the cage or you know he's going vacation yeah it's
[00:22:24] not worth it yeah right and he's like i'm looking for my dog
[00:22:28] i just trying to find my dog you know he's just doing his like bullshit
[00:22:31] Matthew mcconn and so Sandra Bullock is like helping him
[00:22:35] and then one point the clan kidnaps her and like ties me retreat and sexually
[00:22:39] assaults her and uh and then she's in the hospital
[00:22:43] but then at the end you know they win the case and it serves us like at the
[00:22:46] cookout smiling with a black eye like the best part about is that they get
[00:22:50] this guy off who by the way did murder those guys right should face some kind
[00:22:54] of yeah yeah yeah not the death penalty but like
[00:22:57] no you can't go into a courthouse with the fucking illegal machine gun and
[00:23:01] murder people yeah before they even stood trial
[00:23:03] yeah to see what happens right right right and uh yeah i mean it's like
[00:23:08] it's like it's like the inverse of death wish where there's this call for
[00:23:15] admittedly evil but some like poor stupid right it is just like a rich
[00:23:19] liberal fantasy of going down to the south and murdering poor white people
[00:23:24] there's there's there's certain poor people that check off boxes
[00:23:28] deserve to be murdered right to to address some like like racial thing
[00:23:33] that happened in their childhood that they feel bad about not doing more
[00:23:37] about right right right right yeah they're like i'm they're not even the
[00:23:39] murderer they're just the fucking lawyer who helps the guy who actually killed
[00:23:44] who actually got revenge on these people i mean it was all this insane
[00:23:47] bullshit at one point like the NAACP is like this case is important and like
[00:23:51] you know uh i forget the car like sam yelch let's call him
[00:23:55] charles chocolate weather is charles chocolate weather is
[00:23:58] sam yel jaxson's character um he's uh he's
[00:24:03] chucky chocolate yeah his name is harshin squeak
[00:24:11] so he uh he yeah so they're like this very important that he gets off on this
[00:24:16] and so they raise money and they get this like new york
[00:24:20] like big deal law firm that like specializes in capital murder cases
[00:24:24] they're like we're going to take over the case you know
[00:24:27] and mattie mcconney's like absolutely not this is my case yeah and it's like
[00:24:32] why your friends with this guy yeah yeah you would want him to have the best
[00:24:36] defense possible you should be ecstatic that if this giant law firm is like let
[00:24:40] me defend him and they'd like do some kind of weird
[00:24:42] finagling and then fucking sam yel jaxson's on board is like this is my
[00:24:46] lawyer and the head of the NAACP is like we raised all this money for you not
[00:24:50] to give it to some fucking cracker oh my god
[00:24:53] and then it's like so they're triumphing against even
[00:24:56] black race yeah i like it i mean it doesn't
[00:25:00] i mean it doesn't make any sense it's fadsy mcconney's like look
[00:25:04] the death penalty's good and black people can be raised
[00:25:07] NAACP is raised against white people that's such a fucking stupid both sides
[00:25:14] yeah totally it's like the answer that's what we
[00:25:17] clinton shit for sure that's some fucking real quick
[00:25:20] what we need is unhinged vigilantism directed at fucking like
[00:25:25] nightmare caricatures of fucking rednecks yeah yeah and nothing else
[00:25:31] that's the only solution to these problems
[00:25:33] them uh but yeah the best the very best part is the final scene of the movie is
[00:25:38] mathy mcconney coming to samuel jaxson's cookout
[00:25:42] and he brings his daughter he literally gets an invite to the cookout he gets
[00:25:45] an invite to the movie about a white guy getting invited to the
[00:25:48] yeah what and then fucking that's such a liberal
[00:25:52] and and and sam sam jaxson like looks like he's like confused as to why
[00:25:56] the defense attorney that just got him off from murdering
[00:25:59] two guys in cold blood and also shooting a police officer to the extent that his
[00:26:03] like leg has to be removed hell yeah who was a guy who was a guy that he's
[00:26:08] friends with kris cooper plays like they're just the fucking bailiff
[00:26:11] who loses his leg and then like charles s doesn't sneak samuel jaxson out of
[00:26:16] jail so he can go to the hotel the hospital room
[00:26:20] of the cop whose legs he shot off so he can apologize to him in the middle of
[00:26:23] the night and he's like i'm sorry for what i did but i just had to do it
[00:26:27] yep and then kris cooper doesn't say anything in a trial he's like i would
[00:26:30] have done the same thing and he's like the state's witness
[00:26:35] he's state like didn't ask him how he felt before and they're like yeah just
[00:26:38] put him up there and let him and in kevin space he's the prosecutor
[00:26:42] oh hell yeah who keeps it like five like three or four top net
[00:26:46] there's there's multiple exchanges between the two of them where he's like
[00:26:50] you know he's like oh he's in his boy just out of law school
[00:26:53] and then he's like i thought they taught you that in law school like they just
[00:26:56] do things kevin's basic character is just incredibly underwritten and sort of
[00:27:00] like not addressed at all uh-huh yeah but then there's all this
[00:27:03] extra bullshit going on that's needless like the indelible acp thing doesn't
[00:27:07] make it anyways the final scene of the movie
[00:27:09] where he's like he brings the cake brings his daughter to play the cookout
[00:27:14] like samuel jaxson sort of looks and then looks back at him and madam
[00:27:17] kind of he goes i just thought our kids could play together
[00:27:20] oh and then that's and then he goes to credit like that like like mlk
[00:27:24] you've never had mlk that was his dream that was his dream
[00:27:28] i have a dream that one day a little black girl will be brutally raped by
[00:27:34] two red nets and a man with an illegal assault rifle will burst out of a janitor's
[00:27:39] closet before they can stay in trial and murder them in cold blood
[00:27:44] and fuck up just some just some gods some another just guy who works at the
[00:27:49] courthouse not even a real cop yeah yeah just basically a fucking like a maul
[00:27:54] cop in usher yeah a guy that like has a gun instead of a flashlight directing
[00:28:00] people to their fucking seats will lose his leg
[00:28:04] every once in a while one of those guys does get fucked up in an escape
[00:28:07] that's a wild bailiff yeah so i was their gun gets stolen
[00:28:11] oh my gosh but every once in a while they get to fuck the lady judge
[00:28:15] that's awesome yeah and on judge jr she would famously get her
[00:28:19] she would get her pussy blown out by that bailiff guy
[00:28:22] oh and he was like oh yeah he was a nice big stud
[00:28:25] you went there yeah oh dude dude that guy would
[00:28:28] wreck judge jr's pussy i would love to watch that i would love to watch him
[00:28:33] just railing judge jr's shindler was a type a jewish woman that wants to have
[00:28:38] to like go to the emergency room after being fucked
[00:28:42] yeah that's just what they're into 100 no kill me
[00:28:47] i need to be killed i am ready to end it yeah
[00:28:53] oh gosh i want my my pusswad to be absolutely destroyed destroy me
[00:28:58] she's destroying me she's the like richest woman in the world
[00:29:01] yeah she has like 500 million dollars you think i could seduce her get a 100
[00:29:05] mil i would definitely fuck her old prolapse pussy dude
[00:29:11] give me one million dollars i'll fuck judge jr you can fuck her for
[00:29:14] ten thousand dollars ten thousand come on dude for the jr rainy day
[00:29:18] ten thousand dollars i would judge i would too but you gotta you can't start
[00:29:22] the negotiation at ten of course i'll say i would be willing to go as low as
[00:29:26] you don't want her you don't want her to know that she knows i'm not gonna tell
[00:29:29] her that oh i guess she's telling the public no one who's listening
[00:29:32] no one tells judge jr how low adam would go i should have taken i should have
[00:29:38] paid more attention to that movie because it's like any time i was just like on
[00:29:41] my phone yeah anytime i'd look up it was just fucking who's actually judge his
[00:29:45] wife his wife she's so hot his wife who again is like you know she's like
[00:29:50] this like like loving wife and then halfway she's like you got to just
[00:29:54] move on you know like like drop the case or whatever
[00:29:58] and then she comes back and then she's actually inspires the bullshit speech
[00:30:03] at the end of the movie oh the time to kill that's that's the only thing i
[00:30:06] remember from the movie is that the clock speech the fucking yeah they're like
[00:30:11] the what clock speech doesn't it isn't about time
[00:30:14] no you're remembering a joke i did oh i thought that's but i've never seen the
[00:30:17] movie no no he does uh he does like uh like you know he's like he describes like
[00:30:24] i want you to close your eyes and you imagine this little girl is like
[00:30:29] raped and abused and you know they piss on her and then they throw beer cans
[00:30:33] that are had and you know just this like really
[00:30:36] gratuitous description of like them violently raping this girl and he's
[00:30:39] like now i want you to imagine that little girl is white
[00:30:42] and then the jury is like oh and it was like oh it starts crying
[00:30:45] yeah i know exactly that's what happened
[00:30:54] and again the clan didn't exist in this town yeah it's like though they
[00:30:58] like the i don't know the way i have to like figure out how to get
[00:31:02] get it to where the town is like these people are like in this like
[00:31:07] immediate like they're all mad about fucking general Sherman still
[00:31:11] right yeah you know to to like just not care at all that this girl was like
[00:31:17] murdered it's a child that got raped yeah it's a child that got raped but also
[00:31:21] that's not what the trial is right it's whether or not this guy committed
[00:31:25] murder right by mowing down these defendants with a machine gun before
[00:31:30] they could stand trial yeah yeah exactly even if you're the
[00:31:33] prosecutor you're gonna be like yes what these guys did was horrible it's a
[00:31:37] horrific crime but we can't have lawless yeah we can't just have
[00:31:42] we yeah i would have 100 be they weren't even a carpet of the rape right
[00:31:47] they were just on trial for the rape and but Kevin Spacey doesn't make that
[00:31:51] argument he just said it's good to rape black girl i don't he doesn't say
[00:31:55] anything other than like didn't they didn't learn that law school
[00:31:58] yeah he's doing southern Kevin Spacey yeah he's doing
[00:32:02] Frank uh yeah Frank uh we suck Frank Dusar Frank Dusar
[00:32:08] i'd love a nice tall bottle of Frank Dusar I deleted Instagram I had a day
[00:32:13] where I went on the Frank Dusar Instagram page oh yeah and commented uh
[00:32:23] posts maybe the best name the brand of one there is
[00:32:28] Frank Dusar Frank Dusar I like after a long hard day I like relaxing to just
[00:32:40] yeah and then it's just I just love the two that in the
[00:32:44] the process of this trial where they have this cookout and the happy ending
[00:32:48] there's now been probably 15 other crimes committed yeah the nascent clan
[00:32:53] that just popped up in the town which is like are they gonna go away
[00:32:57] yeah because it seems things are much worse now than they were before
[00:33:00] it seems like Samuel Adjaxson started they raped Sandra Bullock
[00:33:05] yeah and she's a millionaire yeah yeah some like rich lawyer lady
[00:33:10] damned clan huh yeah yeah I mean it's just that's
[00:33:14] that was when they were just making movies they're like all right
[00:33:18] who are the kinds of villains that no one could
[00:33:21] possibly have a problem with like it's complete
[00:33:25] the there's no complexity it's like right before all the anti-hero shit it's
[00:33:28] like everyone is just the most evil they're the clan
[00:33:32] and they rape or Chechen and or rush yeah I
[00:33:36] didn't really do that again we should have a movie that's just Godzilla
[00:33:39] versus Louisiana swamp races yeah alien versus
[00:33:46] some guy with three teeth yeah named Pierre Saint Cook
[00:33:50] that's fucking that uses the n-word casually yeah yeah
[00:33:54] at circle K that's that's that that would be
[00:33:59] a fun movie going experience that would be fun to watch yeah
[00:34:02] yeah um what about honestly the reason I put it on is because I do miss that
[00:34:07] shit I miss I miss watching a movie and just having my eyes glaze over
[00:34:11] yeah looking at your arm no not looking at my phone
[00:34:14] like the way it used to be where you would go see just a piece of shit
[00:34:17] moving the theater because it was a movie it's two hours out of the day yeah
[00:34:21] yep time to go to McDonald's and then go to sleep time with McDonald's and maybe
[00:34:25] get 17 minutes of dial up internet and slowly download a picture of Trish
[00:34:30] Stratus where you can see her nipples but not her whole breasts
[00:34:37] I jacked off to one picture of Trish Stratus like
[00:34:40] well wet t-shirting heart through a shirt so many times I would re-download it
[00:34:45] I would print it sometimes I do I do miss the sound of
[00:34:48] of those modems yeah it was satisfying it's weird because it's like I don't
[00:34:54] understand why we had needed to hear that yeah I feel like that could have
[00:34:58] happened internally on I don't understand there's no reason what was
[00:35:02] making that yeah what was making that sound
[00:35:05] did it have a speaker they had a speaker that would make that noise but it's from
[00:35:09] I think like the olden times were used to have to like
[00:35:12] put the phone on the modem uh-huh the modem would like talk to the
[00:35:17] connection or something weird I don't think like there's no reason for a
[00:35:20] modem to other than the signal that it is like
[00:35:23] working making that weird noise that noise made my dick hard though
[00:35:27] yeah it's like it's speaking a computer language to another computer
[00:35:31] made you anticipate getting along going on playboy.com
[00:35:35] yeah sex.com it is very funny remember white house.org
[00:35:39] this photo imagine like sick 1998 a father with like a sex
[00:35:44] addiction like excusing himself from the table and going in the other room and
[00:35:47] you just hear that noise yeah oh yeah oh yeah
[00:35:51] I'm doing work emails I'm on the phone with a computer I'm freaking although I
[00:35:57] feel like I'm forgetting how AOL worked I don't even think you went directly to
[00:36:01] websites right you had to search through their search engine
[00:36:04] no they had a browser and then they had like a social function but they had
[00:36:10] like a chat they had like it was weird it was a weird way to
[00:36:14] you never had AOL it was very romantic dial-up or earthlink or like it was
[00:36:18] just always different like yeah there was just wait you had to navigate
[00:36:21] through the AOL interface to get to websites yeah it wasn't that simple
[00:36:25] yeah so they were really the gatekeepers of the internet but thank god
[00:36:29] and then they had chat rooms where you can like
[00:36:31] I was never in chat room but people would share like
[00:36:34] people would like spam it with porn stuff so you can write
[00:36:37] if you're everyone could jack off a child looking for porn stuff you know
[00:36:41] that there was gonna be bots in the chat room spamming for
[00:36:44] I was I was I was I will give my parents some credit they scared me about being
[00:36:49] molested so much on the internet that I was like my mouth it was literally like
[00:36:53] if you go to a chat room you will be molested yeah it was like one it was
[00:36:57] like that like the second part of Greek culture is being molested
[00:37:00] no it's not so little did she know it's not
[00:37:03] inspiring I was I did not go to chat rooms I was telling a story about how it
[00:37:07] got fat because he would just ain't candy all the time hoping that it would
[00:37:14] it's like if I keep accepting candy that would be funny just the fattest
[00:37:18] kid got fucked the most you're just like eating all this candy what did you
[00:37:21] make of the story Hansel and Gretel as a child I honestly the concept of a
[00:37:27] cookie trail it was a great story today would be called canceling Gretel yeah
[00:37:32] that's right and it would be about some Chinese bitch yes
[00:37:35] talks like a rapper so true and Gretel would be I guess
[00:37:45] so fucking true brother yeah that is exactly what it would be today I don't
[00:37:54] that's I swear don't I know it yeah I got my finger on the whatever it is
[00:38:04] dude honestly Hansel and Gretel I was jealous no joke yeah and then the house
[00:38:08] because it ended it ended now if they got an eaten honestly Hansel and Gretel
[00:38:13] might have been a big turning point in my life because the lesson that taught
[00:38:16] me is you get got a shit and you get and then you get revenge on this bitch
[00:38:21] and you get to eat her whole candy house afterwards her house is made I remember
[00:38:25] I remember I remember as a kid if you're in the oven yeah yeah
[00:38:29] I remember as a kid if you give him a house of cookie just being like damn I
[00:38:32] want to fucking cook I know I did not get that at all I was like I want some
[00:38:36] jam to I want cookie I want all the things of the mouse yeah
[00:38:40] fucking mouse no but for real if Hansel and Gretel had if Hansel they got
[00:38:45] murder god bitch got murdered do you remember that that book that was like
[00:38:48] the old lady that ate a fly there was there was an old lady who lived in a
[00:38:54] shoe or some shit yeah she ate a fly and then she has to eat a spider to eat the
[00:38:58] fly yeah yeah then a cat eat the spider and then she just gets fat as shit yeah
[00:39:02] you remember that and it's like what this is the worst story and yeah it
[00:39:07] doesn't make any sense yeah it's not an allegory for anything well who is a
[00:39:11] bitch who lived in her shoe with her that's why you don't eat bugs she had like
[00:39:14] 12 kids yeah she just can't she couldn't stop getting involved raw dog yeah and
[00:39:19] then go back to the shoe back to the shoe that's a depressing and there was no
[00:39:23] husband there was an issue who had too many kids and you should feel bad for
[00:39:27] but guess what she's racist oh yeah so she actually deserves to be gone back
[00:39:31] to the shoe bitch yeah back to your fucking racist back to the shoe but
[00:39:36] that's what I'm wondering the old lady who lived in the shoe where was her
[00:39:38] husband was she a fucking slide it's sad yeah no she was getting turned out
[00:39:43] maybe she was a welfare queen oh that's right just living off the government
[00:39:48] in her shoe getting kid after kid for more checks they're really reopening all
[00:39:52] the schools in New York but isn't it correct me if I'm wrong it's like
[00:39:55] June right now yeah it's May it's April so they'll reopen for the last two
[00:40:02] months of school what month is it right it is April April 12 and is that summer
[00:40:07] not quite summer in New York April's still cold okay no it's not it's been nice
[00:40:14] well yeah I couldn't it's always really opening school they're going back for
[00:40:18] what three days I think they get out too much too much they get out late in
[00:40:22] New York do they in the south they get out much early was they get out in
[00:40:26] the farm yeah they get out in like June that's not late that's right when they
[00:40:31] fucking no like kids kids in that's why people in the south are dumb is because
[00:40:35] their summer starts you know earlier it gets hot out so they cancel the school
[00:40:40] ends in February and starts back up in December yeah yeah they have two and a
[00:40:44] half months of school in Texas that would be fucking awesome well it's just to
[00:40:50] keep the taxes low yeah yeah I would love that dude if there was a place that had
[00:40:55] like not bad schools but very lazy schools I would raise my children there
[00:41:01] yep I would love that you know because it's apparent you want to give your kid
[00:41:06] the best life possible yeah yeah so I'm not going to choose from the beginning
[00:41:11] you want them to have as much pleasure non-stop as well yeah so I'm gonna get
[00:41:14] my kid condoms right well then you're giving him a bad life yeah right no
[00:41:20] fucking losers work on yeah I'm fine if I catch myself a condom someone
[00:41:25] be fucked off the wife and the family for no
[00:41:28] call a whole pack I'm making I'm gonna fucking me the ass with a whole pack
[00:41:32] and I'm sorry I put all twelve on my thing my son and yeah as you have to suck
[00:41:43] you're gonna have to fuck the dog mm-hmm you have to fuck your dog and then put it
[00:41:48] down there's a lot of different lessons with your condoms that could be taken
[00:41:51] for sure to kill you you're gonna have to kill the dog from wearing a condom and
[00:41:55] your kids your kids crying we're all from having the fuck is on dog the death
[00:41:58] and you're like here you go to the cigarette yeah fuck it feels good that's
[00:42:06] welcome welcome to bars welcome to hanging out and bar all right you just
[00:42:12] what's your first lesson guess what's on your man now that's what it takes
[00:42:18] welcome to the man came what would you do watching diagnosis murder that's
[00:42:22] awesome yeah what would you do if your son loved school and gave birth to a
[00:42:27] fucking nerd I would also love that my daughter's bedroom so you get your
[00:42:31] daughter a bedroom right in the house sure and then you know she gets her own
[00:42:34] phone in there whatever she wants but then in the smack dab in the middle of
[00:42:39] the room you frame up another room that takes up most of the room except for
[00:42:44] like the perimeter that barely is enough room for her bed and then you put a
[00:42:49] door in it no windows blacked out walls and then it says the man cave no girls
[00:42:55] allowed me on sign and that's where all your gaming stuff is you watch the game
[00:43:00] so you so you have to go you enter her room to enter the man cave which takes up
[00:43:04] most of the room most of her room yeah most of the room is in the center she's
[00:43:08] got she's she's got basically like she has to squeeze in between the walls because
[00:43:12] there's only maybe you know it's like a fucking four feet it's a 15 foot by 15
[00:43:17] foot room and then the man cave is in the middle and that's probably I'd say
[00:43:20] 10 feet by 12 feet by us towards the door so she has to like kind of like
[00:43:26] slide around so her she's got a twin bed there's way back behind the man cave
[00:43:34] room and then back there she's got her bed and you know maybe a couple of
[00:43:38] bras or whatever and that's the key tabs on her little John dating books
[00:43:43] whatever dumb bitches she's doing yeah that kind of shit meanwhile she
[00:43:47] did and she wrote a super fudge yeah she wrote tales of a fourth grade
[00:43:52] nothing true that and Frank's diary and Frank's diary yeah and Frank's diary
[00:43:58] about getting horny yeah and Frank's from what I understand that's most of
[00:44:05] the book yeah never read it but that's what I understand yeah she's
[00:44:09] jacking off most of that book yeah that's how they got caught by the nauncees
[00:44:13] because she's she's from vibrators going on she's I remember having a
[00:44:18] I'm sorry I'm gonna be in Frank's diary 15 times a day I had to read and
[00:44:21] Frank everyone had to read and for sorry I didn't and then it's like I
[00:44:25] remember I remember just like I like there's a lot of books that I think I've
[00:44:29] read because they were signed reading that I definitely just skims I just
[00:44:33] skimmed maybe I had to read and I just didn't and so in my memory like there's
[00:44:37] been times where I thought the book contained like be like what's hold on
[00:44:41] diary somebody's at the door yeah yeah thinking that she wrote it like oh the
[00:44:47] nauncees are here yeah yeah but there's no way that's in there the book just
[00:44:52] stops and like today we had a nice lunch and then she never got back to the
[00:44:56] yeah like I just like I've in my dumb brain is made the last pages of the book
[00:45:00] being like you know please there's yeah they're outside right now yeah it's
[00:45:06] the nauncees yeah the nauncees are outside goodbye diary it's time for me to
[00:45:11] go die in the gas chambers they you know what that's so I forgot she got caught
[00:45:15] now I'm sad yeah I think her dad was the only one that lived and then he kept
[00:45:20] the your Prince Philip kind of guy that's dad classic Prince but just been like
[00:45:25] your excuse he got the answer he came he comes home he's got like a bag full of
[00:45:29] bread he's on his way to see Granerics he sees all the Nazi police tape that says
[00:45:33] like you know you know Nazis don't cross or whatever and he's like well what's
[00:45:38] going on here like god do you live in here and he's like no no I just I heard
[00:45:44] some some kike noises from up here though I'm just a guy this guy by her to
[00:45:50] draddle in the attic I find some bread and they're like why do you have a
[00:45:53] menorah and your grocery bags like oh this I thought it was a that was a
[00:45:57] backscratcher yeah like very good to move along yeah all right thank you for
[00:46:02] the tip I'm just a regular answer Amsterdam what is that over there like I
[00:46:07] guess it's some horny diary of some sort and he's like do you mind if I beat
[00:46:10] off of that I've got I got a hankering for some jacking off I figured maybe I
[00:46:18] could have that book damn her dad lived I think so I might be wrong and he was
[00:46:23] like I could sell this for me I would like this is gonna be my ticket I've been
[00:46:29] trying to steal her diary for years now I can know what she's saying about me
[00:46:35] looking at we're gonna read a diary and then everyone's gonna know and then
[00:46:40] we're gonna make money off of it thank you Hitler
[00:46:47] yeah so that's wrong that's about I think that's what happened that maybe
[00:46:52] have besmirched this good man's name who Frank and Frank and Frank old Frank
[00:46:57] Frank Frank Frank Frank will be a good name yeah he was a black comedian Frank
[00:47:04] Frank do suck yeah Frank Frank Frank Frank uh yeah well I'd love to go you
[00:47:14] know during the during the regular times you know when things get back to
[00:47:19] normal to go get go to Amdam Amsterdam get oh yeah this guy took could have
[00:47:23] totally played off being auto auto Frank auto Frank yeah like what is your
[00:47:28] name and he's like auto Frank they're like oh yeah yeah Otto Von she died right he
[00:47:33] died 1980 so yeah he made it but he was in the camp like they survived the camp
[00:47:38] uh where he escaped what he do he's the sole member of the family to survive
[00:47:43] the Holocaust he inherited and his manuscripts after her death arranged
[00:47:47] for the publication of her diary in 1947 but did he did he get caught by like
[00:47:51] what happened did he masturbate to her diary apparently it says on Wikipedia
[00:47:56] he never beat off but why would they put that in yeah if he did that sounds like
[00:48:00] he's a state they shouldn't say that you know it sounds like yeah yeah they
[00:48:05] just certainly doesn't deny it yeah that's true he was imprisoned in Amsterdam
[00:48:14] after they got caught and they were sent to a Dutch print typed out the diary
[00:48:19] into a single manuscript at any other sections he thought too personal to
[00:48:22] family or too mundane to be of interest the general reader they went out chapter
[00:48:26] three being molested by my dad that'd be a fun movie dude I mean you could never
[00:48:31] get it made just and Frank just flashbacks I don't know who will be fun
[00:48:36] that would be a really funny movie I mean no you get like fucking you get like
[00:48:41] wolf arrow to play yeah and he's like yeah really good book my daughter run
[00:48:48] like hey Otto what are all these missing pages it's like I'm an elf it's
[00:48:53] Christmas that's good they're like yeah you are or maybe you could do national
[00:48:58] lampoons and Frank's diary yeah you know just something something that you on
[00:49:03] mmm bam bam bam bam bam bam that songs in there bam bam bam bam bam bam
[00:49:10] how did out of song out of song kind of is about and Frank's diary yeah and
[00:49:16] song is that the one with a guy close the door boarded up I'm gay now remember
[00:49:22] the time I spilled the cum I jacked my dick until it came and everybody got mad
[00:49:29] at me my favorite song the bit here is it's that song but it's gay but it's good
[00:49:35] close my ass boarded up I remember the time I suck the cock in the hall by the
[00:49:45] stairs please don't tell mom I'm gay yeah yep yes yes you take that blink blink
[00:49:57] FAG yep blink 1.82 inches my favorite band one beady off you come on I know
[00:50:07] you're joking blink number one band dude imagine number one band it is so
[00:50:13] funny I do 37 year old guys for like that's my favorite band I do like I love
[00:50:19] which day is in middle school since now and Adam is them and Adam 37 but when
[00:50:25] Adam was 12 yeah they were all like 45 years old right so all those 1.22 guys
[00:50:31] are in their late 70s yeah they're 75 gold men yeah I go over I go over the the
[00:50:36] senior center and we listen to Cheshire cat and Buddha dude ran it is very
[00:50:42] funny early wreck imagine a four Travis I don't even know really imagine a guy
[00:50:48] in a nursing home with an askew trucker hat and those like big leather bracelet
[00:50:52] that's literally gonna happen god damn it's so funny it's funny that like I think
[00:50:57] I'm just gonna start dressing like an old man I mean that's you know millennials
[00:51:01] are like 49 years old at this point yeah you're one of me we're all yeah I'm an
[00:51:06] old person yeah I'm youthful which I like it I think I'm going deaf to I'm the
[00:51:11] youngest one of all three of us I've been catching myself the baby I've been
[00:51:15] catching myself screaming lately really like in regular conversation talking to
[00:51:19] people oh like not being able to regulate your volume yeah oh god that's so
[00:51:24] embarrassing I know my dick is small it can't get hard I wanted to get sucked
[00:51:31] by guys oh so really Travis wasn't in the band Travis was in I believe the
[00:51:37] Aquabats I'm a put I'm a scob and oh really yeah who I was also big fan of
[00:51:42] see I'm in retrospect is a very embarrassing band to be a fan of yeah for
[00:51:46] sure they were a band that wore costumes mm-hmm oh he got the writing credit for
[00:51:51] Anne Frank's book oh nice dude Frank Frank Frank Frank was the first one
[00:51:56] on Frank yeah wait hold on in Frank died of typhus in Auschwitz in a
[00:52:04] concentration camp but it wasn't I mean this is okay so that's this is sort of a
[00:52:09] George Floyd situation yeah because all we all we've heard is that
[00:52:17] they had a quote unquote killed by the Nazis but I know that she had asthma
[00:52:24] and I think it's important we are not calling it that yeah I think it's
[00:52:29] important before you want to she was on drugs before you want to blame the
[00:52:32] Nazis for the death of Anne Frank maybe this can be instruct us as to what's
[00:52:37] happening in the George Floyd situation here because if you think you're honor
[00:52:42] if you think you think you think the police killed George Floyd well you
[00:52:47] better be ready to say that the Nazis killed Anne Frank then yeah oh you are
[00:52:51] are you instantly are without even one of seconds of hesitation hold on did I
[00:52:55] tell you that the father might have been molesting well I you get that part of
[00:52:59] the trial yeah yeah you have to hear my evidence well his name was Otto he
[00:53:05] looked kind of mean you'd be funnier ending that to the time to kill where
[00:53:10] Matthew McConaughey's like you know he's like and they take off or they rip
[00:53:13] off or close and they throw beer cans or pussy and show beer cans in there her
[00:53:19] pussy's her little pussy is so fucked up that it's squirting out blood that
[00:53:23] makes him to Dixie even harder and then they slap her cross face they're
[00:53:27] dead you know the whole regular speech yeah they're pissing her pussy yeah and
[00:53:32] then he's like now imagine that little girl was white and the jury is still
[00:53:36] sitting there and he's like and the guys who did it were black and then like
[00:53:41] oh and the whole the whole things reversed imagine it's imagine that they
[00:53:49] mad now there was a couple of big swinging players imagine they were
[00:53:57] having a little bit of a players ball you know what I'm talking about dude this
[00:54:02] first edition and Frank's diary looks sick wow it's beautiful that's cool yeah
[00:54:07] damn I'm talking about the font yeah well the font but also sit this like
[00:54:12] kind of blads got like a very like sort of like gothic metal theme yeah well
[00:54:17] that's what it kind of I lived in the secret room where I learned how my
[00:54:23] people see where the Nazis came they were actually they were just following
[00:54:31] the rules because it has it it could have been from a lot of places and in
[00:54:45] fact typhus was endemic at that point in time so you could make the argument that
[00:54:50] by relegating me to an ex-room I created a sort of implied lockdown and protected
[00:54:56] me from typhus for a very long time around a bad way the Nazis kind of
[00:55:03] protected and this in the same way the police protected George Floyd from
[00:55:10] the south yes I guess and no okay we're gonna take a 15 minute recess with the
[00:55:19] defense attorney would like and you recorded that was a play a song
[00:55:27] you like to play give me a second here I'll record this there's some friends
[00:55:32] in mind I met a Texas foreign I don't know how many of you are with the band
[00:55:39] King Diamond this is sort of a riff going off his work
[00:55:45] well sort of clarify and summarize the points I've been trying to make this
[00:55:51] little trial see I've been searching for the lost third chapter of the end
[00:55:55] but she talks about her dad molesting her I'm thankful she was for the Nazis
[00:56:01] for hiding her the typhus that was outside just solid he's just pressing play on a
[00:56:07] boombox and just standing there solemnly but smugly like yeah they're calling
[00:56:22] Terry showman's attorney it's a team it's that guy and the
[00:56:27] is like I was just clicking around on Wikipedia after reading the auto
[00:56:32] Frank already found this guy in Rive on Prague he's just I mean I guess is more
[00:56:36] of a visual bit but imagine it's like in Rive on Pogg just says a big fat ass
[00:56:42] yeah this guy is this guy this guy with a big juicy ass he's just he's lecturing
[00:56:48] it in Vienna and like clapping his cheeks and torquing yeah you guys just look
[00:56:54] up what is the name and Rive on Prague yeah what did he do yeah who is he
[00:57:05] sorry just got a business what is it a guy offered $40 for Nick's
[00:57:12] just like a stick that's an off-camera it's a very decent proposal
[00:57:25] he did see us he found the University of Lugano Lugano yeah I have no idea I don't
[00:57:33] know what about the University of Lucango I'm done learning shit that has to do
[00:57:37] with like books or I'm just gonna I'm gonna dial in my knowledge of UPN's 1998
[00:57:45] lineup and you're one of the foremost scholars and that I'm beyond it exactly
[00:57:48] how many people you think in the world know more about that than you not one
[00:57:52] no one certainly not any comedians I'm definitely the most intelligent
[00:57:57] comedian in the world when it comes to this one thing UPN that's pretty cool
[00:58:02] his comics are pretty smart people yeah yeah some would say yeah someone say
[00:58:09] real say just intellectuals intellectual intellectual yeah I'm a private
[00:58:14] election means I only say smart show when you suck I'm a private's intellectual
[00:58:19] I know shit about pussy maybe maybe maybe I can make fuck to your private I
[00:58:25] have a private's intellectual why don't you show me your private show me a
[00:58:34] pedophile why don't you why don't we go back to my place and I can see a
[00:58:38] bathing suit area it's better to imagine him saying that to a grown woman
[00:58:45] I can touch you and you're bathing me see your privates see your privates I
[00:58:51] wanted to leak you see your privates hell yeah I'm asking girls to suck their
[00:58:57] privates let me put your privates in my mouth you know I was thinking the other
[00:59:01] day I was watching repo man why didn't even everything to call Charlie Sheen
[00:59:06] Emilio estities oh that's good that's smart I'm gonna go back in time and give
[00:59:12] that Emilio STD gives that joke that was Nick and Glazer on the Charlie Sheen
[00:59:16] roast probably well somebody was then I could have gotten that joke on yeah
[00:59:21] she's the only person that takes roast jokes from me mm-hmm the rest of them
[00:59:25] are like I don't know who you are I'm like hey drunk and I called you the
[00:59:28] inward remember the comedy seller yeah back in the day we started together
[00:59:32] yeah you were on stage I was drunk calling you the other way yeah I was
[00:59:37] saying in our careers I was saying I was a curt that night he was overdosing I
[00:59:42] came by I was drunk remember I was the guy little guy I sat down at the table
[00:59:47] and I saw a jury sign felt wings and I tuned him out when he started asking
[00:59:50] who I was it's me that guy anyways I'm working on this bit about Anne Frank
[00:59:58] and there's a little there's like a metal song
[01:00:11] Jerry Jerry Jerry come on man listen hear me out here well folks it's been
[01:00:21] another episode weekend of come town well we want to thank you for hanging out
[01:00:27] with us through the pandemic we know a lot of people are gonna stop listening
[01:00:30] to show now that the you go back to your your life everybody's normal life
[01:00:35] getting this getting a lot of pussy again I think actually just New York is all
[01:00:39] vaccinated I think a lot of people still are living in the pandemic I think it's
[01:00:41] gonna be years the New York will but listen we'll be on tour I'm in the future
[01:00:47] mmm got a lot of dates to announce and see you guys soon bye bye