Cum Town | Premium | 05/02/2021
[00:00:00] Oh my god, I can't wait to, I can't, I want to, I can't wait to son her pussy with my
[00:00:05] penis. I'm going, when the first time I get pussy, I'm going to, I'm going to son her
[00:00:12] pussy with my penis. I'm going to pwn her ass. I'm going to, she's, her pussy will be
[00:00:18] so stunned by my penis. Just like the mommy does. My penis is going to be like who that
[00:00:25] boy, that boy whack, to her pussy. Welcome to come town, you fucking cocksuckers. Don't
[00:00:33] invite them to shit. You're unwelcome to your cocksuckers. You unwelcome here. The only
[00:00:39] place you're welcome is my ass. Stav as a sore throat. So he's going to be quiet on
[00:00:45] this episode. Um, still be regret to inform you that Stav is dead. Once again, Stavros
[00:00:52] has perished. Now Stav's, uh, Stav's in, in Baltimore, it is home that he purchased.
[00:00:59] And today they finally, you know, as, as you know, years ago he bought a house and, um,
[00:01:06] it's, he has, he's been here. He's been living in New York. His plan has always been to move
[00:01:09] back, but, uh, it took, uh, it took like, uh, I guess two years to source American made
[00:01:17] steel to reinforce the floorboards because a lot of the suppliers just use Chinese steel
[00:01:22] now. It's true. The crap and, uh, we need some Pennsylvania steel in that house. Yeah.
[00:01:28] For my, for my fat boy. Yeah. So they finally, uh, this weekend they had, they had a whole
[00:01:33] crew of ironworkers in there. It's true. Um, creating, uh, just reinforcing basically
[00:01:39] every, every door needs like a roll cage. Um, because of the dynamic forces in play when
[00:01:47] Stav lumber is through his house. Yeah, it's true. Uh, like a pinball almost. It's true.
[00:01:53] It's like, uh, like you've heard about a bull in a China shop. So yeah, he has to have an
[00:01:59] entirely reinforced and padded instead of a bull in a China shop. It's kind of like a
[00:02:03] fat zone and a candy store. Yeah, it's true. That's the, uh, the other expression. I think
[00:02:08] that's what that's what they used to say until they changed it until fat women said enough
[00:02:14] of this enough of this. Let's let's shame these bulls. Yeah, dude. I have my friend sent
[00:02:18] me some tweet from some fat woman. It was like, let's read it. Fat women love like the
[00:02:23] fat activists love using capital letters more than like anyone else. They're always like,
[00:02:28] don't you fucking dare. And it's because their fingers are heavier. So they hit the keys.
[00:02:32] That's true. That's how you fat lead time. Yeah. Um, but, uh, yeah, let me see, let me see
[00:02:37] if I can find this post that they sent me. Um, because what's been funny, because they
[00:02:42] took a huge L with the pandemic because like this shit started and they're like the people
[00:02:47] that are mainly at risk are big fat shows. Yeah. And they've spent the last like big type
[00:02:52] of bitches. Yeah. They've spent the last couple of years, um, cheese lighting into people,
[00:02:59] cheese lighting people into believing that, uh, cheese. Yeah. Well, that's when a fat person
[00:03:04] is trying to trick you into thinking they're grease lighting everyone. Um, yeah, here we
[00:03:13] go. This woman says, if everyone's vaccinated by June, July, the fat phobia this summer
[00:03:18] will be beyond intolerable. It's been terrible, but y'all will truly show zero respect. I
[00:03:26] can feel it. What please don't be that person. Imagine being so fat that your body can travel
[00:03:33] through time. I don't, our stomach reaches into the future and it can tell, I don't understand
[00:03:39] that take though that they want the quarantine was good for res stopping that. It take is
[00:03:46] being mad about something that hasn't happened yet. And then then follow up to eat because
[00:03:51] if that one wasn't already like psychotic and you fuckers are going to let people feel
[00:03:58] alive and beautiful and safe and free in their bodies, bodies that kept them going during
[00:04:04] a pandemic. Don't you dare shame them two piece swimsuits for everyone. What the fuck
[00:04:12] is she talking about? I don't know. What does that even mean? Um, yeah, I mean, it's like,
[00:04:18] somebody should just interrupt this one and be like, do you need like a fake Newton? Um,
[00:04:24] can I get you maybe a couple of goldfish? Oh, God. I feel like fat women also took a
[00:04:31] slight L because the Karen thing was coded because most of them were also big, big, big
[00:04:36] type of bitches too. Were they though? I had a feeling I got that feeling. Maybe I'm wrong
[00:04:41] about that. I thought they all were like kind of like maybe dumpy by virtue of being in
[00:04:47] their forties, but then like, you know, with train hair, that's what I imagine a lot of
[00:04:53] like fucking drops of Jupiter kind of look like the band train. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:05:01] That we're like forward swooping. Yeah. Why do women get that haircut? Um, there, I think
[00:05:07] it's like, uh, if you're a woman in the Midwest, you hit 35. You get that haircut. You shouldn't
[00:05:14] nuke the Midwest that I'm, I do not care about the Midwest. They should put Israel in
[00:05:20] the middle of like Minnesota. I would love to see an interphada between fat women and
[00:05:26] the idea. Yeah. I think that should be the next. That's the thing is like it, the people
[00:05:32] would be fine with Israel if they were just depressing a type of people that nobody liked.
[00:05:37] Exactly. Which is women from the Midwest. The Palestinians are far too likable. Yeah.
[00:05:41] Yeah. No, they are. Dude. They got the best cafe. It makes me feel like I'm on a picnic.
[00:05:47] So true. Yeah. Yasser if I had six style military garb and a red kafya is very sick.
[00:05:56] Looking like Ringo star. Yeah. I miss the king. RIP. Um, yeah. No, they had a lot of proposals
[00:06:06] for where they wanted to put Israel. They wanted to put in Uganda. Yeah. Baja Mexico
[00:06:11] was a proposal. You got, you got to be kidding me. Yeah, you. Yeah. Absolutely. Did you just
[00:06:17] have to tweet from that fucking retard that was like black people resist arrest because
[00:06:23] you're going to die anyways. Just like telling, she was like making people die. Yeah. She was
[00:06:29] like, why would, why would any black person like listen to the police when they stand a
[00:06:33] 50 50 chance of being shot anyways? Is that what the person is? It is. I didn't know. It's
[00:06:39] very high statistician laureate, Chelsea Handler. No, Chelsea Handler told women to
[00:06:48] black people to do that. Did you see? Did you see? I didn't realize you're saying Chelsea
[00:06:52] Handler. Yeah. Did you see? It's instructing black people to resist arrest. Yeah. Did you
[00:06:57] see her documentary? I didn't watch it. No, it's it's insane. What does she she goes to Africa?
[00:07:03] No, she goes to like, like Cleveland, whatever bullshit town she's from. Yeah. And to like
[00:07:09] go meet the black guy, she used to fucking high school. And she's like, it's crazy because
[00:07:13] I became famous and you're like in prison. And he's like, uh, yeah, basically.
[00:07:19] Does she help him out at all? No, she hugs him. She just gives him a hug. She gives him a hug.
[00:07:23] Wow. Put some on a documentary. Exploits him. Right. Wow. He should be, he should be thankful.
[00:07:29] Yeah. Dumbass. Yeah. I haven't paid much attention to her in, uh, in about 10 years, but yeah,
[00:07:38] everything I hear is repulsive. I never did. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. She had a big media empire.
[00:07:45] She got into weed from what I understand as well. Yeah. That's another obnoxious thing that a
[00:07:50] middle middle aged comedian can do. Yeah. We have to have 40 decide that you're a weed activist.
[00:07:57] Libs have to generate controversy because as you know, they had the monster truck community
[00:08:02] participated in DMX's funeral. And that's the kind of like black, white, working class solidarity
[00:08:07] that they can't all that is. It's the meme. It's the meme of the Confederate flag and the guy in
[00:08:13] the black panther guy with AR 15 holding hands. Yeah. Yeah. It's the white fist. It's the, what
[00:08:19] is that from predator? The white buff arm and the black one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And in the middle,
[00:08:26] it says respecting DMX. All right. So true. The monster truck definitely turned around a couple
[00:08:32] races. It's been funny watching people like pretend to be sad about DMX who like probably
[00:08:39] as recent as a year ago, where we would have no problem tweeting like calling out his homophobic
[00:08:45] lyrics from 20 years ago. I G's. Yeah. This is a bad look. I actually, I have a working theory that
[00:08:55] he was that he was actually gay. If you base it off of the scene in belly, where he makes the
[00:09:02] man take his clothes off at gunpoint. I've never seen belly. It's it's a very cool movie. Yeah.
[00:09:07] It's like one of those things where it's like I kind of miss the boat. You can watch it. I got
[00:09:12] in my own style of cool where I don't see things. Yeah, it's true. You know, there was like last
[00:09:17] week everyone was watching belly. Yeah. As a, as a, I was talking last night, she was like,
[00:09:23] I rewatch the belly recently. Yeah. It's it's it's a pretty cool flick.
[00:09:28] There's a scene where they're watching Gumbo in it and being like, what the fuck is this shit?
[00:09:34] Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty cool. And they're like drug dealer, apartmenting, or house and queen.
[00:09:39] That's very funny. Maybe I should rewatch Gumbo instead. Yeah. Well, you can do a double feature.
[00:09:45] Gumbo rules. It's very, it's very good. Yeah. That scene with the brothers beating each other up
[00:09:50] is like one of the funniest things in the thing. I love that so much. Oh, damn. Damn. Yeah. Now,
[00:10:00] now I have a hand cream to rewatch Gumbo. Yeah, we should do that should be the inter interstitial.
[00:10:06] Is that the correct word? Yeah. Our, our, uh, between episodes hang while we wait for stuff to
[00:10:11] get back. This little pen light. Yeah. And then I use it. Quite bright. It is bright. And then I
[00:10:16] have to like get out of the habit of shining in people's eyes and people's faces. I'm not enjoying
[00:10:20] when I'm talking to them. I'm not enjoying that because it's, it's very, it's nice to have,
[00:10:25] maybe it's autism, but to have something pointing at whatever you're paying attention to. Yeah.
[00:10:30] Like a laser pointer. It's true. Yeah. It'd be cool if they could make one feel like, uh,
[00:10:35] like kind of half robot, like a Terminator. Yeah. If you could make like a black laser,
[00:10:41] because you know, they have different colors. Yeah. You don't see a black, a brown laser. Uh-huh.
[00:10:46] And then, um, so like, and this is the setup for a movie, right? There's like a very like liberal
[00:10:52] politician. Yeah. And they're on their way up and then like three blocks away or whatever. There's
[00:10:58] a guy pulling a van into a parking garage. Uh-huh. And then it's like, you know, kind of like,
[00:11:03] suspect, like tick of the clock is playing, you know? Okay. And, uh, he's like, we're going to change
[00:11:08] this city and bring everyone together or whatever. Uh-huh. And the guy's like assembling like a sniper
[00:11:13] rifle. And then he, because he has the got the politician in his crosshairs. Mm-hmm. And then he
[00:11:18] pulls the trigger and the laser puts him in blackface. Oh, it's not a gun. And everyone's like,
[00:11:24] he's doing blackface. And he ruins his career. Yeah. He ruins his career. Oh, okay. And he's like,
[00:11:29] it wasn't me. It was a new type of laser. It's a character assassination instead of a real assassin.
[00:11:34] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's smart. I like that a lot. And then it's Tommy Lee Jones with an Irish
[00:11:40] accent as the assassin. Okay. He's like, I made him think everyone hates the dark case. Do you
[00:11:45] remember? I'm like, why would you do that? Tommy Lee Jones? He's like, I can't tell you.
[00:11:51] It has something to do with the IRAs. Something to do with, yeah, maybe the IRAs or the IRAs
[00:11:58] involved for some reason. There's something. How toy toy toy? Do you remember they they remade the
[00:12:05] day of the Jackal with Bruce Willis? Yeah. There's a scene where he's being gay. I don't remember.
[00:12:11] I never saw it. I remember seeing it as a kid. Did they remake Day of the Jackal or is just
[00:12:16] based on the jackal? It's just called the Jackal. Yeah. I think it's just based on the day of the
[00:12:20] Jackal. Day of the Jackal is such a fucking good movie. It's a very sick movie. Maybe we'll do that.
[00:12:25] Gumbo and Day of the Jackal. Yeah, those are two good films. Gumbo and Day of the Jackal French
[00:12:29] Connection. I wouldn't mind that. That's a good programming. Yeah. So what else is in the news?
[00:12:38] Nick and I both have Oscar fever. We watched the telecast last night and I think I realized the
[00:12:44] Oscars were happening. I actually ended up watching it. I'll be honest with you. I've never watched
[00:12:49] an award show once in my life. I've been around where the tournament has been on. They did a girl
[00:12:53] that brought me some kind of fag-hag, golden globes watching. Yeah. As a homosexual, it's a
[00:13:02] part of our culture. The pageantry, the glamour. You were like, who do you think is going to win?
[00:13:06] I'm like, bro, I'm just here to get pussy. Yeah. I'm just here for the bitches. I'm here for the
[00:13:11] biatch. Biatch hachas. I only chill with all these gay guys so I can get pussy off. I'm trying to
[00:13:17] trick girls off these fat girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something about the assassination thing
[00:13:26] that reminded me of something. I can't remember what it was. I'm sorry for a knock to have of course.
[00:13:32] We haven't had a good assassination in a while. Yeah, they stopped. Well, it was kind of only
[00:13:37] really happening in the 60s or in Russia. There was poisonings. Yeah. I think those are the most
[00:13:43] reasons that we're in North Korea. Shout out to Putin. That fucking loser in jail being like,
[00:13:47] well, I'm not eating anything. Yeah. Well, don't eat, bitch. Yeah. Then he's just starved. He's like,
[00:13:52] well, okay, now I need a little salami as a treat. Well, it's that guy's deal. No, Valene. Yeah.
[00:14:01] He's just, did Putin try to kill him before but he didn't die? He's racist against the caucuses.
[00:14:10] Well, if he's racist, I don't have time for him. He's racist against our
[00:14:14] Dagestani brothers and sisters. Come town is a show of the mountains. Yeah. We like the
[00:14:22] mountainous Muslims. We hate Greece. We love Turkey. It's true. We have had a pretty fat phobic,
[00:14:30] heavy episodes and stuffs been gone. I assume this is what you guys do with Jews. I guess you do.
[00:14:36] You're anti-Semitic. We're not on the show. Yeah. So I guess it doesn't make much of a difference.
[00:14:41] Well, we don't have to hide anymore. For years, we had to hide. Basically, we're
[00:14:45] stuff has this agenda. Yeah. We were anti-Semites for basically, like Anne Frank, if you think about
[00:14:53] it for years, we had to hide in the secret annex of A-chan. And then Donald Trump was like,
[00:15:00] you know, let's let him out. Look, who let the dogs out? Yeah. You know. Did you watch the QAnon
[00:15:06] documentary? No, I don't watch anything anymore. I watched it and it's... I literally watch nothing
[00:15:11] but all in the family in the fucking seven days. Yeah. Both fantastic programs for different reasons.
[00:15:19] But in the QAnon documentary, this guy Fred Rick, the guy that programmed to A-chan,
[00:15:25] this guy who has like a degenerative disorder, he's like two feet tall. Yeah, I've seen him.
[00:15:31] Yeah. And he used it. It's very funny to see him using a computer. He looks like one of the
[00:15:35] failed Ripley clones. He's terrifying to look at. But yeah, he uses those, you know, how nerds
[00:15:43] like split keyboards, but he can only use the computer lying on his stomach, like wrapped in a
[00:15:48] blanket. It's very funny. It looks like a baby using a computer. But he's very cute. But yeah,
[00:15:55] the documentary itself, I think, is... I didn't get much out of it, but oh, we got a text from
[00:16:02] old Stop. Should we read on the show? No, it'll be rude. I saw it and I don't think it would be
[00:16:07] fair to say what he said to the audience. Okay. Yeah, I'm not going to read it either. I mean,
[00:16:12] it's a lot of chocolate. It's mirrored all over the deck to make you ejaculate for meeting chocolate.
[00:16:19] I mean, it's... Oh man. I mean, the guy hasn't been able to get a rect for a woman in years.
[00:16:26] He's not well. And for him to admit that the final, what did it, was some leftover Reese's
[00:16:35] eggs from Easter? Yeah, Easter, the 2006. The resourced... Anyway, damn, I wish I could...
[00:16:45] It was like there was something with that fucking assassination thing. Well, let's try to unpack it.
[00:16:51] No, no, no, we gotta just move on. We gotta move on to today's top story.
[00:16:58] Mm-hmm. What's going on? Well, Nomad land won at the Oscars yesterday. I know this is
[00:17:06] six days later. Did you watch the shooting of this big 16-year-old girl?
[00:17:13] I did watch the video of that. Yeah, yeah. It looks like a very fast pace.
[00:17:19] Yeah, it looks like kind of a bang, bang, bang situation. Yeah.
[00:17:23] Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone watched that. I think everyone wants your take.
[00:17:30] My take is that if Tim Dillon is going to say we're allowed to shoot fat people,
[00:17:34] we're allowed to shoot fat people. I have to listen to Tim on this. Yeah, it was funny.
[00:17:38] He's been on Rogan. I haven't been on Rogan. Seeing him say that. And then even like comedians
[00:17:43] being like, is he serious? It's like, no. That's how far away you are from writing jokes now at this
[00:17:52] point. You can't tell what is an obvious joke. Yeah. So he's really gonna say that if you're fat
[00:17:59] enough, you're an adult. You're not allowed to be a child. It is a pretty wild take.
[00:18:11] And like a pretty charged situation. Tim's fearless. Well, yeah. I mean, I was saying it's like,
[00:18:21] you know, I think it was unjustified the shooting because you know, it's like, how do you know,
[00:18:28] she's not just doing black girl magic and she wasn't actually going to saw her assistant in
[00:18:33] now. That's true. It's just no way of knowing. It's a trick. There's no way of knowing. You know,
[00:18:37] you have no idea how many folks, you know, have no idea how many unjustified police killings
[00:18:45] there have been at black girl magic shows. Yeah. And then the people that are like, you know how
[00:18:51] dangerous that was? There are other people around. He could have hit them. And it's like, well,
[00:18:56] that's not that's pretty easy to see where you're going there. I see where you're going. I don't.
[00:19:00] I can't imagine how you could have missed. Yes. Okay. See where you're going. Yeah. Yeah. It's
[00:19:06] just, yeah. Yeah. It seems like, like, you know, we watched another person. It's like people are
[00:19:15] like, why don't you shoot the knife out of her hand and say, why didn't somebody shoot the fork
[00:19:19] out of her hand? Maybe somebody in the community should have shot some instead of a taser, maybe a
[00:19:33] piece of. Oh, no. Let it. Big. So read, you know. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Look, you got to do the job.
[00:19:45] You got to do the officer was just doing his job. I'm just doing my we need to make. Yeah, we need
[00:19:51] to make our our ugly fan base of emotionally retarded. Yes. Shane. Sixteen. Shays.
[00:19:59] Shane. Yeah. 24 year old boys. We got to give them some joy because I know that they've been pretty.
[00:20:07] Yeah. Ben's out of shape about this. Was it Lou or Columbus? What happened in Columbus? I think
[00:20:13] that was where the shooting was in Columbus. Oh, was it or was it not Columbus? Whatever. It
[00:20:20] doesn't matter. Yeah. There was a couple of these stories less. Less week. I feel like there's the
[00:20:25] army guy that did yell the dead kid. Where was that in the South Carolina in another Columbus?
[00:20:32] What did he do? Every state has a Columbus. Yeah, every state has all this. It's funny. They've
[00:20:37] tried Columbus numerous times and it always sucks. Yeah, but you know what? Every say
[00:20:42] never been a good Columbus. Every state is too pussy to have a New York. Right? Who the fuck?
[00:20:46] Who the fuck did this? Fuck around and try to have New York and see what happens. Columbus, New York.
[00:20:54] Charles Town too. They do that. Charles and Charles Town. Yeah, that's true.
[00:21:02] Yeah, the spring field. There are a lot of the... Yeah.
[00:21:11] Yeah. These are just observations. What other jokes can we do about that child?
[00:21:18] About this child being killed by the police? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like... I don't know. I feel like
[00:21:28] like watching people dies now. You know, we put the work in on ron.com as kids,
[00:21:35] you know, in our age demo. Yeah. And now everyone thinks that they're...
[00:21:40] Everyone's like us now. Everyone just watches people die on television now constantly.
[00:21:48] And therefore we should be celebrated. Actually, we should be experts, you know. We've seen enough
[00:21:54] cartel executions as 13 year olds to weigh in on these public deaths. Yeah.
[00:22:02] What do you think? Like, what does a guy like Shavin do in prison? He just hangs out with Subway
[00:22:07] Jared and Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. You think they like they play P. Knuckle together?
[00:22:14] Yeah. It's like that picture of like fucking Reagan and Lincoln and Donald Trump all playing
[00:22:20] cards. Yeah. The picture of fucking Tony Soprano. Yeah. Tony Montano. Yeah. The legends picture. Yeah.
[00:22:33] Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, he's gonna get killed, right? We always say that though, when I... I mean,
[00:22:39] is... What's his name? The boy from South Carolina? Is he still alive?
[00:22:47] Dylan? Kyle Charter. Charleston. Kyle Charleston.
[00:22:52] Kyle Charter House. Yeah. It's very funny being in Philly and walking past Red and Hot Square now.
[00:22:56] How like... Yeah, they gotta change that name. Yeah. You can't have that name. You know, I saw
[00:23:01] there's a guy running for, I think, state assembly in low room and hadn't named Harvey Epstein.
[00:23:09] Yeah. I think he sent that to me. Yeah. Come on, man. Come on, bro. You can't... I felt actually
[00:23:15] pretty embarrassed. I was gonna make fun of him publicly and now I guess I am doing it. But then
[00:23:21] I saw he has a small hoop earring like me and that was... Who? Epstein? Harvey Epstein has a...
[00:23:26] Oh, yeah. That was like, oh God. Maybe he's a... He's a me type of... type of M-effort.
[00:23:36] You still have the earring? I gotta take it out of... Why? Well, ever since I saw... I mean,
[00:23:42] I feel like it's gonna... I'm gonna take it out eventually. I don't know. I got it as a symbol of
[00:23:51] independence after I quit my last day job. Yeah. At the old women's divorce law firm that I was
[00:23:57] working at previously. I was thinking about getting a tattoo. I was thinking about like,
[00:24:03] you know, how Charlie Manson has the swastika? Yeah. Getting the Punisher logo in that same spot.
[00:24:09] Yeah. That's what Chavine should do. He should grow his hair out and get the Punisher logo in the
[00:24:13] Charles Manson, like right in the middle of his forehead. Yeah. I wonder if he's gonna get like,
[00:24:20] like Charles Manson, like girls that wanna fuck him from the outside. Yeah. Like love letters from
[00:24:26] like... That would make... That would make Pixie Girls. That would be a thing. Just to like drive
[00:24:29] in New York media, people insane is if there's like a shit ton of black women that were like,
[00:24:34] I love you Derek. I'm like, I'm just... We're all like in love with Derek. He's getting these love letters.
[00:24:41] He's recording him. Oh my God, Derek, you're innocent and you're fine. Yeah. He had like a free
[00:24:51] odd nun kind of cult of personality around him. What does he do? He has to buy protection from the
[00:24:58] white nationalist in jail. The Aryan Brotherhood. The Aryan Brotherhood. Is that... That's what
[00:25:04] Subway Jared did? Even though he's a Jew? Did he? I mean, I think he bought protection, but it has
[00:25:11] to be... You know, you got to squat up with your own kind of... How do you even find that? Who's on
[00:25:14] that beat? The fucking like prison protection beat? No, there was an article about Subway Jared like
[00:25:21] kind of having like a ring of security around him. Did you watch Oz? I watched some of it. I never
[00:25:29] watched it. It was kind of what was on before Sopranos when I was a kid. I never watched... It's a really
[00:25:36] fucking stupid show. Yeah, it's really bad from what I understand. Yeah, but I watched most of it.
[00:25:42] The final episode is ridiculous. I might be like combining episodes in my head, but if I remember
[00:25:48] correctly, they're like doing a play and then somebody uses a real knife instead of a fake knife
[00:25:53] still like stab. They gave the prisoners trick knives so they could do Julius Caesar. And then
[00:26:04] there's a poison gas that's released in the prison, so they have to like all leave the prison. That's
[00:26:09] on the series finale. Yeah, and they have to go to like a different prison. And it's like, oh,
[00:26:14] they're all like on the bus like waving goodbye to the prison. Yeah, the last guy's there and he's
[00:26:19] like looking back and then turns off the light. Like a sitcom series finale. I mean, literally,
[00:26:25] yes. That's so funny. Yeah. That is so funny. Like fresh prince looking at the empty mansion. Yeah,
[00:26:33] they should do like an 80s cell sitcom called Derek's Cell. And it's Derek Shavine. And he's
[00:26:38] always got like friends over in his cell. It's like cheers. Yeah. And so the people that hang out in
[00:26:42] prison. Yeah, with Derek Shavine. And they're kind of like a modeling crew coming from different
[00:26:48] way. Jared walks in and was like, Jared. Yeah. He's like, Hey, everybody. Yeah, they're like,
[00:26:55] what's up? What's up, you crazy fucker? Yeah. They're like, yeah, there's like, yeah,
[00:26:59] Shavine's like, he's kind of like a loud mouth anti-Semite and Harvey and Jared are both like,
[00:27:05] what come on, bro? You know, you know, you can't say that anymore. Yeah. Oh, man, I'm glad Harvey
[00:27:13] beat the coronavirus. So you could watch the Oscars this year. Yeah, you know, you probably
[00:27:17] misses it so much. You think they let him watch the Oscars in prison? I hope so. It'd be very
[00:27:21] funny if he's just sitting in there masturbating gold, the best actresses.
[00:27:24] I don't like getting the reward. He's just jacking off. He's like, you know, I raped her.
[00:27:33] He's like, I raped that woman. I fucked her. Yeah. I. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's no, they've
[00:27:42] tried to do Harvey the Oscars so much. Jared. So by Jared's next to me, he's like, what's the
[00:27:47] deal with the code of fanding? Is she still eight years old? She's like, no, I think she's all grown
[00:27:53] up now. Yeah, you missed your window there, Jared. Jared's like, that's a shame. You got it.
[00:27:59] You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got to figure out a way to stop that from
[00:28:03] happening. Yeah. I had a calendar notification for when Hermione turned 18. Yeah. Oh, man.
[00:28:11] Yeah. They they that did you see that article that came out about Scott Rudin?
[00:28:16] Mm hmm. He's like the he's like the gay Harvey Weinstein. There's a big expose in the Hollywood
[00:28:23] reporter about how he's like an abusive psycho to other men. Yeah, to like his staff and like
[00:28:29] people that work for him. I don't think you should really be able to cancel a gay for well, that should
[00:28:34] be like for for sunning other gays. That should be the cloak of in impenetrability is like you're
[00:28:40] not capable of of of any any powerful gay accused of raping other guys should just do the Russell
[00:28:47] Crow. Are you not entertained? Just putting his arms up in the Colosseum. Are you not entertained?
[00:28:57] Well, I think he's kind of like I don't think he's cheering. They've raped hundreds of people.
[00:29:01] I think he's just like just a psychotic boss. I don't think he was raping anyone, but like
[00:29:07] people go into therapy for 10 years after working for him. He hires people quit NYU at like 19 to
[00:29:13] go work for him. And then like he fires them within three weeks, you know, he breaks cell phones and
[00:29:20] throws things at people. And he has no gauge like if he's losing million dollars between
[00:29:25] from it from a deal or if his coffee order isn't right. He's like the same amount of angry.
[00:29:31] Oh, pissed. He's like one of these pissed. Yeah.
[00:29:34] But one funny anecdote, I don't know if it was in the article, but he used to send Harvey
[00:29:41] like 10 cartons of cigarettes for Christmas every year. Yeah, because he knew Harvey was a smoker.
[00:29:51] It's like, yeah, they were mortal enemies. Yeah. So he like kind of outlived Harvey. And now
[00:29:57] now he's like getting his come up in school. Did you princess? He's gay Harvey, basically.
[00:30:02] Yeah, they're both like fat disgusting monsters, but he just is gay and doesn't rape women.
[00:30:08] But yeah, it's it's it's pretty funny. So all of Hollywood is going to be like,
[00:30:14] there was a I saw it at the Oscars, like Brad Pitt was like slightly off stage. He he presented
[00:30:20] an award and he was just sitting next to this like this fat lesbian woman basically dressed
[00:30:25] like the Joker. And pretty much every Hollywood executive in the next five years is just going
[00:30:30] to be a powerful like Joker, five lesbian woman because they are the the most uncanceable
[00:30:36] cancelable. Ellen's you mean? Yeah, Ellen's. Yeah. I mean, they tried to come for Ellen. She was
[00:30:42] like Teflon. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to make these accusations disappear. It's true. It's true.
[00:30:50] Yeah. It's all going to be like like a like a maroon suit, green haired lesbian woman.
[00:30:57] The Riddler. The Riddler is definitely lesbian. Absolutely. That's a lesbian character. That's a
[00:31:03] lesbian ass character. Yeah. There's yeah, like they love colored frames. They love like green
[00:31:12] framed glass. Yeah. Yeah. That's a it's a big lessee look. Yeah. They're big on like the like
[00:31:19] lesbians. The ideal lesbian aesthetic is the original line back. Very lesbian. Yes. The very
[00:31:27] 2004 cyberpunk. Yeah. Like a like inflatable furniture. Like a c-shirt phone. Like a corded phone.
[00:31:40] They love that shit. They're going to be running the world. Yeah. Maybe like a like a like a
[00:31:45] but a flower eraser that you put on the back of a pencil. That's true. Yeah. And it's you know,
[00:31:52] it's our own damn fault of fellas, the stray fellas because we got desperate enough to sell our
[00:31:58] sell our cum for 50 bucks when we wanted to just buy some booze. Yeah. And now the lesbians
[00:32:02] can procreate without men. They bought up all the cum. They bought up all the cum and they're
[00:32:08] not going to need us for for centuries now because all of us fellas were like damn dude. I'd really
[00:32:14] love this. I need I need a hit up game stop. Throw a couple of short and ninja stars Adam.
[00:32:22] Just kind of haphazardly just tossing a couple of ninja stars over at the lesbian community.
[00:32:30] Oh man. See what sticks. Gosh. That's my girlfriend was saying that I have a tick where when I'm
[00:32:39] out in New York City and I see two lesbians holding hands together, I say I just I say lesbian.
[00:32:47] She's like it's like people seeing little people in the wild. Yeah. Yeah. Like I do this. But I have
[00:32:54] to do it with lesbians. I don't know why. Yeah. I think it's potentially because out of any
[00:32:59] demographic of person, that's that's the type of person that has just immediately hated me any
[00:33:07] time I've got one. The funniest type of lesbian is the one that's got like they're like the boy
[00:33:12] from Bad Santa. I like those kinds of with a role polo shirt and they have stops tits.
[00:33:21] Well, hi. How you doing? How's it going? That's like stomach hanging.
[00:33:29] Tower pet kids stuck to their mouth. I love that that me bubble gum in their hair. That me of
[00:33:35] the lesbian wearing like the the waistcoat and like purple button up shirt where like with like
[00:33:40] a fucking like spiky haircut and it's like she she looked like she about to run McDonald's like
[00:33:46] it's the damn name. Yeah. No, I've never seen that. That that cohort is never yeah almost immediately
[00:33:58] never liked me. Although I'm desperate for approval, especially in this this current climate in the
[00:34:05] entertainment industry. Shout shout out to Megan Ellison. The whole crew behind Transparent.
[00:34:14] I'm loving what you're doing. What else Nicholas the royal family the royal family. We lost Prince
[00:34:21] Philip. Yeah, which we already acknowledge on the show. Oh, also I just want to say, um, come town was
[00:34:27] the first podcast to recognize the Armenian genocide. Yeah. And now our government has followed suit.
[00:34:34] So you're welcome. I love how mad it makes Turkish people.
[00:34:39] Even looking at Joe Biden's mentions. No, they're all like, I'm so turning. Fuck two piece of shit
[00:34:45] kill yourself. Busted. Yeah. May you rot in hell? You're my ancestors raping you in hell.
[00:34:56] They're so mad. Yeah. And what are Armenians? Again, it's Jacko, Waco and Dot. Right. I think
[00:35:04] and the Turkish put them in the Warner Brothers tower. I think they kept escaping. They're the
[00:35:09] Hanumanian. Yeah. Yeah. I was saying, I remember in college, there was like a group of international
[00:35:20] students in like an econ class of mine talking some fucked up language. And I had no idea what it
[00:35:27] was. I later found out it was Turkish. If you've ever heard Turkish spoken, it sounds insane.
[00:35:33] Yeah, it's like, located like Portuguese. One of those like, yeah, Portuguese sounds like
[00:35:38] a deaf person speaking Spanish. Yeah. Kind of. Blah, boo, blah, yeah. Turkish is like,
[00:35:46] it's like retard Arabic. It's kind of like that. Russian air. There's a little Russian in it too.
[00:35:51] And you're not sure. And they kind of have like, they're wearing like Gucci loafers too. And you're
[00:35:56] like, or it's very difficult to place. Another community, they could just get a couple of ninja
[00:36:02] stars lob. Just chop them over the fence. Yeah, this is seamless sticks. Yeah, this is true. When
[00:36:12] when we don't have stops, liberal agenda in the room, we can really just, we're really just making
[00:36:17] a list of our, you know, seeing who's on our shit list. Yeah, who we want to throw. Yeah, just
[00:36:24] well, stops, stops been like in the late stages of he auditioned to be the new fat boy in the
[00:36:31] little rascals, the little rascals remit. The new Joe cop. Yeah, the new fat boy. And he, you know,
[00:36:36] he's real worried that I'm going to say something, then they're going to take a little rascals away
[00:36:42] from him. He's so fucking career is ridiculous. Ridiculous. I'm sick. They're not paying him. Yeah,
[00:36:48] he's just going to get like a lifetime supply of jawbreakers. And he thinks that's like a good deal.
[00:36:53] He's like negotiating the deal himself. I was like, you make enough money to buy your own
[00:36:57] lifetime supply of job. And I'm like, stop, that's not a good deal. He's like, that's not a
[00:37:01] shut up. You fucking Jew. That I got money for you. It's like, then I got to think about like,
[00:37:05] I'm the one buying it. I'm doing it to myself. If they're paying me in candy, it's not my fault.
[00:37:11] Yeah. You know, that's right. And I'm like, I guess that is a big they're doing it to him.
[00:37:15] He's not going to the store and buying the job breakers. Yeah. Also, job breakers are a diet
[00:37:20] food because it takes a long time to you. So I guess we should just say that all of that ninja
[00:37:24] star talk about, you know, the cops should have used ninja stars on the Kia Brian.
[00:37:28] That's not stops opinion. I didn't say that. We mean Adam said that. And we know I didn't say
[00:37:33] that either. We said, why couldn't the cop have just used the white face laser on Makiya Brian?
[00:37:41] Yes. And so she could have done a white chicks. Yes. So she could have done a Wayne style. Yes.
[00:37:46] That's honestly, it's like black people should, you know, like the really the fix system because,
[00:37:55] you know, you're not going to get rid of the police. We need to be buying white chicks out,
[00:37:58] prosthetic out of it. Imagine that video. But this time, Makiya Brian comes out and she looks
[00:38:05] like the Michelin man. She's got Michelin man with care and hair. Okay. And the police are like,
[00:38:11] is that Oh, no, it's a white lady. I don't think any kid should die. I think that's our official.
[00:38:16] She wouldn't die. The cop would be like, I would have shot this person had they been black,
[00:38:22] but that's clearly a Karen. And then Makiya can stab whoever she wants. There should be more
[00:38:27] like black vines or tick tock stars that are doing social experiments where they put on white
[00:38:33] chicks stuff. Yeah. And then they while out in front of the police. And the cops say,
[00:38:38] right this way, man. Yeah. And they say, can I get a little bit of pussy off of off of your
[00:38:43] finance? There should just we should just get like a go fund me going for like one at a time to buy
[00:38:49] white prosthetics for black people. And then if you want it, yeah, if you want to wow out, you can.
[00:38:55] It correct. Yes. And then it'll show the police the air of their ways. And if you're if you're
[00:39:02] here, it'll correct the white the black face pan the pandemonium. We're gonna get white prosthetics
[00:39:08] for black people. And then you can go out and push all the Chinese people around you want.
[00:39:13] And that'll have to know that's that's that's no, but we had that's not it. Then you're creating
[00:39:18] the that's the other problem. We have to stop. Oh, yeah, we're we're stopping Asian hate. We're
[00:39:24] stopping. We're we're stopping all hate basically. And we're stopping it with ninja stars. I was on
[00:39:29] an escalator somewhere and there was a giant like billboard or thing for stopping Asian hate.
[00:39:34] I don't know if it was on the train or something. And I was like right next to an Asian lady.
[00:39:38] We're both looking at it and it's like this. I don't know what to say here. I'm not gonna say
[00:39:42] anything. You're not supposed to say anything. You're supposed to say I you know, you'd say like
[00:39:47] Oh God bless. Yeah. Cool billboard. I love that billboard. Yeah. You see this?
[00:40:04] You very do. Martin Martin Luther Martin Luther. No, no, I don't think we did, but I don't know.
[00:40:13] A Chinese Malcolm X. Yeah, but but a joke. Mark him.
[00:40:21] No, it's not. Mark. There's too much there to just don't know.
[00:40:31] Oh, no, we'll come back. Well, yeah. Yeah. So, the Stokely Carmichael is Eatly Dog Michael.
[00:40:36] That's good. You got that? Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Okay.
[00:40:50] Instead of the black panthers, it's the yellow panthers.
[00:40:55] I don't know. Is this necessary? What do you mean isn't necessary? I don't know. It's not
[00:41:00] out of fashion shit on this. This is how you actually stop Asian hate. This is, yeah. As you,
[00:41:08] you know, laughter is the best medicine.
[00:41:14] We're stopping it. That's where Shane was one of the first to stop Asian hate.
[00:41:19] About top Asian hate, right? Ladies, if you see someone doing Asian racism, maybe
[00:41:25] why don't you go suck their dick and go out? Yeah. To teach them a lesson. Yeah, teach them a
[00:41:29] lesson. Maybe you should get the suck in instead of tweeting.
[00:41:39] And if you don't like it, I guess you've got a couple of ninja stars for you. Yeah. I think
[00:41:45] we should take the cops guns and just give them ninja stars.
[00:41:52] Then that would solve the diversity problem on the police force because you don't have a lot of
[00:41:58] black nerd signing up to become cops. Goku style black kids because they want the ninja stars.
[00:42:05] Yeah. Then we would have community policing, right? Because it'd be.
[00:42:10] What's the idea? You send social workers out. It is funny how people are like a social
[00:42:17] worker could have handled that. I dated a social worker and it didn't seem like she could handle
[00:42:20] anything really. Jibak, every time she'd come home from work, she'd be like, yeah, one of my clients
[00:42:27] fucking smashed a mirror over his head and then stabbed his roommate. I knew it. I'd be like,
[00:42:33] shut up. I knew this Jewish girl. God. Who was like, this is like,
[00:42:37] jappy Jewish girl who was like, yeah, I had a weird week. And I was like, she was a social worker.
[00:42:42] She's like, yeah, I saw a guy shoot himself. Yeah. She said it was weird.
[00:42:48] Oh my God. It's so funny that that is like, it's like one of the most, you know,
[00:42:58] like those people are ostensibly angels. They're like doing really important work
[00:43:03] engaging with communities that like no one really wants to help.
[00:43:08] They're there and it's just, it's all girls, you know, it's all like middle, upper middle class
[00:43:13] girls that are doing it. And we don't give them enough love for it.
[00:43:17] Yeah. So we're giving social workers love this. We'll show them a little bit.
[00:43:20] It's social work awareness month. Yeah. Is it, what is it, April?
[00:43:26] Yeah, April's almost over. It's supposed to be me.
[00:43:29] Damn. This year is going by quick. It gets faster and faster until you die, they say.
[00:43:35] Yeah. That's what life is. We're getting old, Nick. We used to be young men.
[00:43:41] I've been old for a while though. You know, we were in our twenties when the show started.
[00:43:45] That's crazy. It's crazy to think. Now it's gay to be in your twenties.
[00:43:50] Yep. Yeah. I'm glad we got out of that before it became gay.
[00:43:54] The important thing to do is as you get older, do whatever you can to stay relevant and becoming
[00:44:00] increasingly paranoid that younger people might not think you're cool. Oh my God.
[00:44:04] Because we all know the younger people aren't actually human. They're just a cohort that
[00:44:09] observes you and decides whether you're cool or not. A hundred percent.
[00:44:12] And whether they think you're cool or not, you know, what's really important is to remember is
[00:44:16] that no matter what they're thinking about you, constantly thinking about you and whether you're
[00:44:23] cool and whether you're doing cool politics. It's so true. Something you should just stay up all
[00:44:29] night thinking about playing a switch and reading London. It is funny that millennials are 40 now.
[00:44:38] Yeah. Also the gayest generation. It's quite a pathetic generation.
[00:44:45] Like exactly. It's like, boomers stole all the money. It's like boomers at least had the
[00:44:51] fucking like, granted, yes, they were paid more than you were. Boomers.
[00:44:56] They fucking woke up at 6 a.m. and went to work and didn't just have a racist Patreon.
[00:45:01] Boomers also got pussy too. Yeah. They got pussy and they made better movies.
[00:45:06] Yeah. It's true. Yeah. It's the same exact generation. It's just that now you have to like gig instead
[00:45:15] of, you know, getting paid too much to, I don't know, whatever the fuck Boomers did.
[00:45:21] I would say that boomers got more pussy than millennials. Probably. It's a sad fact.
[00:45:26] Yeah. People have stopped fucking. Yeah. What else? What were we talking about before that?
[00:45:38] And you said you got that. You took that 23andMe and I said, you were,
[00:45:43] I said, I was 97% black. Yeah. That was weird. But if I'm, listen, it's weird. I got that result,
[00:45:50] but I'm white presenting and I've had, who's doing a joke about like, like a white woman doing 23andMe?
[00:45:55] And like, it comes back that it's like just dogs come. So many do that.
[00:46:10] Like did you, this is, I don't know, it's from my mouth. Yeah. I wanted to do a video where it's like,
[00:46:17] it's like a soldier coming back from Iraq and then, you know, like the dog is all excited to
[00:46:21] see the soldier. But then it's like a couple of days after that. And then the soldier like finds
[00:46:26] out that the wife has been fucking the dog while he was interacting. And then it's like the very
[00:46:31] like tense situation where he doesn't know how to bring it up to the wife. And he's got PTSD.
[00:46:36] Yeah, it's true. And he doesn't really know how to relate to the dog anymore.
[00:46:40] And he's a fucking German Shepherd is banging his wife. He's just fucking just nodding up in his
[00:46:45] wife. He's just like, the door is closed. He's dragging his wife around the apartment with his dog
[00:46:50] Dick Stuckner. He's just listening to modes of pleasure. Yeah, shaking, holding his gun. Yeah,
[00:46:57] crying. And he's just thinking about the fucking Kandahar Valley. Just go a crack on the horizon.
[00:47:05] Just wishing they bring back the Afghanistan war. So he'd get out of there and just get back
[00:47:10] in the shit and looking over and there's just fucking blood flowing from his pals neck.
[00:47:14] Because he can operate in the real world.
[00:47:25] His wife's just getting fucking plowed by Oscar.
[00:47:30] By his best friend. Yeah, he told all the other guys in his platoon. This was his best friend.
[00:47:36] I can use glad that Oscar's looking out over his family. Yeah, I keep pitching shit like this
[00:47:41] to Shane to do his sketch. And he's like, yeah, we're not doing that too hot for Shane. Yeah,
[00:47:47] I did another one. I want to do it. It's like, you'll like this one. It's like like a couple of like
[00:47:51] four or five gay guys walking down the street. And I'm already like, I am so thirsty. I need a
[00:47:58] drink. And they're like, I'm parched. Let's find a place to get a drink or whatever. And they're
[00:48:03] walking down the street and they pass by like, you know, it's like a typical Irish bar, but like
[00:48:07] the red mill work outside, you know, fucking the flag and all that shit. And then the name of the bar
[00:48:13] is faggarties. And then one of them's like, this place looks fine. And they're like, yeah,
[00:48:19] let's go. This looks friendly. Let's go in here. And there's just like an old Irish vibe
[00:48:23] behind the bar. And he sees them and he's like, God, Jesus fucking Christ. It's a family name.
[00:48:29] Like, can I help you fellas? And they're like, yeah, they're like, do you have any drinks that are like
[00:48:33] fucked on the beach or, you know, like, like a lemon drop, like anti retro vial or, you know,
[00:48:41] whatever. That's what they like. No, all we got is beer and fucking and whiskey. That's it. This is
[00:48:47] not the kind of body you think it is. It's just James. Like, what do you mean? He's like, I just,
[00:48:51] I mean, it's like, you know, it's just my name. It's just a name of the place. It's my family's name.
[00:48:56] Yeah. And they're like, what do you mean? It's just, yeah, of course, it's the name of the bar.
[00:49:01] And he's like, you know, he has a roundabout way explaining them that it's not a gay bar. His name
[00:49:08] is just John, John Faggart. Yeah. Wow. That's, I think that's pretty good. Shane didn't like it.
[00:49:14] Yeah, they're like, we're not doing that.
[00:49:18] That's the other one where it's like the African American Museum. Okay. But it's just like, I mean,
[00:49:24] it's just a regular museum, but it's like, it's like the Will Smith's, Sony. Okay.
[00:49:30] Yeah. So, you know, it's like, are the exhibits, not like pays like Picasso or Impressionism or
[00:49:35] whatever. Oh, but it's African American style. Yeah. So they'd be like, like, you know, the
[00:49:40] little ushers they have at the museums of the bow ties, right? Just standing there with their
[00:49:44] arms behind their back, but then their pants are pulled down to their knees. And there's like a
[00:49:50] white fan trying to like whisper like, oh, yeah, this is like, and they're like, excuse me, man,
[00:49:56] you're going to have to say it with your chest. Like, I'll let you for being quiet. Yeah, that's
[00:50:01] true. Yeah. And he's like, no, we're not doing it. No. Yeah. The lady. Yeah, you get yelled at by
[00:50:09] the big fat ladies that work there. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a bunch of that. It's not
[00:50:14] my job. Ladies working there. I like that. Yeah. African American Museum. I think it's pretty good.
[00:50:20] Yeah. Yeah. And Shane, Shane rejected that one. Basically everything I've been
[00:50:27] rejected for gilling in caves. Yeah. Like immediately. The hot new internet sketch show. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:50:35] It's true. I've watched a couple of those. They're pretty good, which, you know, if they're not
[00:50:39] going to take my ideas, I'm basically never getting wrong. You're never working. I'm never
[00:50:43] getting wrong. You can't get it on on on on Shane Gilles's post cancellation. That's pretty much
[00:50:52] the end of my television writing. No, you could still write for for fucking what do you call it?
[00:50:59] The spin off of what's it called? Fox News is red eye. I should turn. I should just go woke
[00:51:07] and then just try to get on all of those work shows. Like the black girl comedy show. Yeah.
[00:51:13] Yeah. And then just pick fights in the green room being like, that's fucking racist.
[00:51:17] It's never doing my job. Yeah. I mean, I think people fire. That's, that's, that's the career
[00:51:23] is to move at this point. Yeah. No, but we're men of principle. We would never compromise our
[00:51:30] integrity. Yeah. This is a show that's built on integrity. Yeah. People tune in every week
[00:51:36] because we're because we put a guarantee on our on our product. Yeah.
[00:51:43] Maybe something about like a sketch about like somebody having fetal alcohol syndrome. Let me
[00:51:49] just laugh at them. Yeah. Is that fetal alcohol syndrome is the thing? Yeah.
[00:51:57] Well, you get a big head or something? Yeah, you have like lion eyes. You kind of look like a lion.
[00:52:02] That's good. You have like a big four. That's kind of like what high fashion is gravitated towards.
[00:52:08] Yeah. Most of the models you see look like FAS. Yeah. Let's look at that. Let's look at FAS drawing.
[00:52:22] Yeah. They kind of look like they have down syndrome. But fetal fetal
[00:52:26] fetal, fetal SIG syndrome isn't a real thing, right? What? You can blast SIGs when you're pregnant.
[00:52:33] And the the kiddo be fun. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. Low nasal bridge flat mid face. Oh,
[00:52:41] it is very funny. They kind of look like beans from even Steven. Yeah.
[00:52:46] Like it's funny because it's like you look up fetal alcohol syndrome and then you get all
[00:52:50] of these different phenotypes. But they all just look kind of stupid. Yeah. They look like dumb
[00:52:55] dumb. Yeah, there's like different, you know, you had to have been the booze. Small palpable
[00:53:01] fissures, palpable railroad track years. What does that mean? I have no idea. Like they're stuck
[00:53:09] to the head. Upturn knows smooth, philtrum thin upper lip. Yeah, it's pretty much what most models
[00:53:15] look like these celebrities with FAS here's Stephen Colbert on this. He is FAS. That's what it says.
[00:53:23] Oh, I guess he's got a weird year. Does he? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've never noticed this.
[00:53:30] It's like one year. Oh, they come out. Well, no, he's got one year that's like fucked up.
[00:53:35] I've never noticed that. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting.
[00:53:45] Let's see. Jim Carrey is a FAS single Jackson as a FAS.
[00:53:49] Yes. Bernie Sanders. Really? Yeah, Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
[00:53:57] It's a lot of heroes. Mine on the line. I'm gonna say it's your Google images.
[00:54:01] Celebbs of FAS. Yeah. Celebrities of FAS. And who comes up as Madonna, Stephen Colbert, Christopher
[00:54:08] Walker. Cash, Jennifer Gardner, Elizabeth Taylor. Famous people with fetal alcohol syndrome.
[00:54:23] There's just a picture of Bernie Sanders. Oh, wait. That thing of this is just a
[00:54:31] famous people with a birth defects. So you know how Megan Fox has ugly thumbs? Yeah, Megan Fox
[00:54:37] thumbs. It's a it's a birth defect. She was born with a condition called clubbed thumbs. Yeah,
[00:54:43] of course, it's a birth. Bracket Dactyl type D. Yeah. Oh, I just thought she just had ugly thumbs.
[00:54:50] No. Yeah, those people are genetically inferior. Oh, I guess I can feel better than her. Yeah.
[00:54:58] Yeah. Kesha's got Kesha was born with a tiny tail about a quarter of an inch, but then they
[00:55:07] chopped it off. That's pretty cool, actually. You ever fucked a fuck a bitch with a tail?
[00:55:17] A tail? Yeah. I mean, I've never had sex. I'd love to try that out. Here's the here's the part
[00:55:25] where stop and say like, would you ever suck a girl's tail or put it in your ass? Yeah, I can
[00:55:33] fuck around with that. I could get I could get that kind of pussy. I could get down with a tail
[00:55:36] bitch. I could get down with a tail bitch. Hit me up. If you have a tail. Yeah. If you got a tail,
[00:55:40] hit my DM. Even if you don't, if you're any kind of woman, you got a pussy or even if you got a dick
[00:55:46] and tits. Drew Carey has 11 toes. Wow. That makes sense. That makes sense. Lili Allen's got three
[00:55:59] nipples. What's that? What's up? What is it? It's like the the poly dactylie. But there's all these
[00:56:09] ju there's jewelry and they got nice nails. Well, they got they got a manicure for their 11th finger.
[00:56:19] Famous people with six fingers. Andy Garcia was born with a soft ball size conjoined twin on his
[00:56:26] shoulder. Yeah. Andy Garcia also has two very small dicks. Does he? Yeah. Was that his twin's penis?
[00:56:34] Yeah. That's why that's why he was they call him the untouchable. That's why. Oh, wow. The Unfuckable.
[00:56:44] The Unfuckable Andy Garcia. What are we going to watch after this to get our the creative juices
[00:56:49] flowing? Oh, no, something good. Yeah. This guy's I told you I will booty Allen the other night.
[00:56:56] Yeah, you saw him out at dinner. I'm really jealous about that, dude. What? Just seeing that's one of
[00:57:01] the Pokemon New York City Pokemon. Everyone at the table was losing their mind. I mean, it's like
[00:57:08] that's someone you assume would just say in his cave the rest of yeah. Now he seems like a
[00:57:12] rare Pokemon who is shooting. Yeah, I don't the town. That's so great. He doesn't go fuck. Yeah,
[00:57:19] I don't think he does. He's he's he literally does not give a fuck. I got so old. Can you imagine
[00:57:25] being so and being active like in your career since this early 60s doesn't stop working. Yeah,
[00:57:32] the movies have gotten worse and worse. I've been active for like four years doing a podcast. I hate
[00:57:39] he finishes the edit of a movie and the next day sits down as high-pighter starts writing his next
[00:57:44] movie. Yeah. Yeah, he works really hard. I wish I had uh you know talent or ability to do anything.
[00:57:52] Yeah, that'd be pretty sweet. That'd be sick. And so it sounds as well. Instead of just being a
[00:57:57] babysitter for racist man children. Yeah, who you hate who well they hate themselves. They hate
[00:58:04] them. So I'm just uh responding in kind. It's true. You know, you're just giving them back what
[00:58:11] they give themselves. You gotta you gotta meet people we're there at. It's true in life. Have you
[00:58:16] ever been to the Hoover Dam? Yes. Yes, I have. I've never been. That was one of the
[00:58:20] uh there was one of the tourist sites of my thing about playing a little trip getting some Molly
[00:58:25] going to see the Hoover Dam. It's really scary when you look down. It's really high up.
[00:58:30] Just all fucked up in the middle of the thing just being like whoa dude and then it's like
[00:58:36] family's trying to avoid you. Like well can you believe we're here?
[00:58:42] Can you believe? What's up? Where you guys coming from? Jersey or so? Oh, you live nearby?
[00:58:48] Dude, it's fucking hot here dude. I'm sweating my dick off. It's crazy dude. They just like they
[00:58:54] did this thing because the water was like I'm going here and they were like nah. I like your vibe
[00:58:59] though. I like your family's vibe. I like your kids vibe. You guys are fucking chill. Your daughter's
[00:59:05] got a cool vibe. Yeah, she's gonna be fucking sexy when she's older. She's gonna be fucking hot.
[00:59:10] Yeah, but I wouldn't say no not right now. I can tell by looking at your wife. She may be a
[00:59:15] bitch now but back in the day. Sucking dick like the Hoover Dam. I brought it around. No,
[00:59:23] no, I'm just saying because that's where we are. Yeah. Dental Dam. Do lesbians really use those?
[00:59:29] Yeah, they do exclusively. That's very fun. They're sold to the lesbian community.
[00:59:34] They're really doing a lot of hate on them. Yeah, no, they do. Mask up. They've been masking
[00:59:42] up for a while. Oh my god. That's my favorite thing. You see lesbian couple walk around New York
[00:59:47] City. They're both quadruple and messed up. They're gonna live forever. They're just hitting up the
[00:59:53] sperm bank. Getting blasted in by a turkey baster. How many people do you think like
[01:00:00] because you know Bill and doing infanticide against the boys boy offspring? You were swinging. Do
[01:00:06] you think Madeleine Albright ate Hillary Clinton's pussy? Oh my god. They were all fucking inside.
[01:00:10] Yeah, yeah. I'm sure they were. Oh yeah. Well folks, we made it through. That was the episode. We did it
[01:00:16] without you know, stuff here. He'll be back before you know it. He'll be back on Wednesday and back
[01:00:23] for the previous episode. Yes, he will. He will and he was. He will and he was. Thanks folks. Thanks for listening.