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Bonus 237 - a say-ance

Cum Town | Premium | 05/09/2021

[00:00:00] I
[00:00:02] Josie in the penis cats Josie in the penis
[00:00:08] You didn't catch Josie in the penis cats you should shut up serious fucking bitch nobody likes Siri
[00:00:15] Josie in the penis cats
[00:00:17] Series on the way out is she?
[00:00:20] Yes
[00:00:21] Being replaced with a stop Asian hate
[00:00:24] Eventually, that's what that's what all of those like Alexa Siri. They're not gonna be assistants anymore
[00:00:30] They're just gonna be like some bitch that lectures you. Yeah, you'd be like
[00:00:35] What time is my appointment and they're like for Asian women were spat on in the walkie last night
[00:00:42] Maybe that's what maybe you should be talking about that at therapy. Yep, which is at 11 by the way
[00:00:48] I did you thank you. I did you sir. Anyway, I can wash Tim Cook's feet
[00:00:56] Is anyway, we could get Tim Cook in blackface so I can wash his feet like and wash it at George Floyd Square
[00:01:03] Brought to you by Best Buy
[00:01:05] I
[00:01:07] Do think they are making
[00:01:10] the assistance all
[00:01:12] Non-gender or they them because the implication is that Siri is a woman who is your servant
[00:01:21] But you can get a guy series, too
[00:01:23] Well, but who mature now they're all gonna be
[00:01:26] started with like
[00:01:32] Trans people being like using the incorrect pronouns is dehumanizing and it's like okay
[00:01:38] Well now now you're gonna share pronouns with the literal fucking robot
[00:01:41] So yeah, also what is a non-gender voice?
[00:01:45] Like that that's not that's not a little thing. They probably use your voice
[00:01:49] But someone that you can't tell my my voice is
[00:01:58] It's the what it's the women they use to voice like a rowdy little boys on
[00:02:03] Like the girl who the woman who did that Bobby Hill
[00:02:14] I am not tragically colored. There is no sorrow dammed up in my soul nor lurking behind my eyes
[00:02:20] I do not mind at all
[00:02:22] Mm-hmm at 17 I had no idea what life would bring but Sora sentiment articulated so beautifully how I felt as a daughter of immigrants
[00:02:29] Then and now nothing about me was or is tragic. Mm-hmm. I am perfectly made
[00:02:35] Mm-hmm. I can wax eloquent on complex legal issues in English while also belting why a giddy demisamores in Spanish
[00:02:43] I can change a diaper with one hand and console of crying toddler with the other
[00:02:48] I'm a woman of color. I am that's the weirdest line of the whole thing to me because it's like she can change a diaper
[00:02:55] Well, what are you doing with your hand the console the toddler?
[00:03:01] I've seen people change. Oh, you're jacking it off. She can be less than
[00:03:08] And it's of all this shit
[00:03:09] It's like the like you know cuz there's a lot of people going off on this video or whatever right making the mistake of thinking that
[00:03:15] Whoever made this you know doesn't it like that?
[00:03:18] They just found out about all this stuff this week right not that they haven't been planting it
[00:03:23] For the last ten years either way
[00:03:27] There is one thing that the CIA is it is actually not good at mm-hmm, and it's not having sex with children. Yeah, right
[00:03:37] Something that they think they's hard that is the only thing they can do a lot of weird the crazy stuff
[00:03:44] But all of them fall prey to these internal like well
[00:03:48] Let's have sex with children as part of a honey pot
[00:03:50] Right, and then before you know it the president's fucking children of course now. We got a killed Jeff
[00:03:56] Yeah, you know exactly now someone's got to take the fall. Mm-hmm. Yep
[00:04:01] Well, you know, I mean that's all I've got that's how Afghanistan ended
[00:04:06] They were somehow able to manipulate public opinion forever on Afghanistan, which was basically a drug smuggling operation for 14 years
[00:04:14] Yeah
[00:04:15] until
[00:04:16] Like people found out the army had to turn a blind eye to tribal leaders raping boys
[00:04:21] Yeah, well, it's their culture and then Joe is like
[00:04:33] We're gonna
[00:04:36] How about a CIA that reflects the the spicy Latino culture that I've grown to love
[00:04:43] Every time I go out to lunch every time I get I go to a long order a street latinas
[00:04:49] I went to Chipotle and I got into a knife fight with the guy behind the camera
[00:04:54] That was the first Chipotle ever was my way say hello, all right, we cut off the tips of each other's dicks
[00:05:02] That's my understanding of the
[00:05:07] Yeah, Joe Joe got a knife fight to to say hello
[00:05:10] Oh, yeah, they call it a quarter reason for the circumcision
[00:05:16] It's like it's like okay, so there's there's one of two possibilities either the CIA is like a giant
[00:05:23] bureaucratic machine filled with like people of maybe slightly above average intelligence then you know they
[00:05:31] I mean, you know though
[00:05:32] They pump this bullshit out and there's as much like intellectual depth to it or agenda behind it is like when HsBC does the same thing
[00:05:39] Right, right. It's the Kylie Jenner Pepsi police commercial or
[00:05:45] Or the world is actually you know this is like in which case it's not a recruitment video
[00:05:51] They're doing this to like either illicit or collect data on some kind of response to this kind of
[00:05:56] Thing which means it does like everything by every part of this has to be meticulously crafted right which is like what?
[00:06:02] So you where does that line come from who sat down and wrote down the line in this before shooting it
[00:06:09] I can change a diaper with one hand and console a toddler. Well, here's my year
[00:06:14] Right when Langley could saw that lady doing that. Mm-hmm. That's I mean, that's elite skills with two different hands
[00:06:20] I am a cisgender millennial
[00:06:22] Generalize anxiety
[00:06:34] But I mean this is this this plays in the theory be
[00:06:41] The absurdity of that state
[00:06:43] I'm just gender millennial that's been diagnosed with generalized anxiety
[00:06:53] Which probably it's like if you go to the CIA and you're like I'm mentally ill they're like
[00:06:58] See ya, I don't think the way that works is like not only do you have the job. We're putting you in the commercial
[00:07:06] Yeah, um they probably so it's again. It's like what no
[00:07:12] You gotta be saying than that would they do that to make all of this seem absurd because I mean
[00:07:17] I guess it's like what would be the domestic goal of the CIA and that's probably to be like some kind of like I
[00:07:22] Guess like like bandwidth limiter like cultural bandwidth limiter to cut off the low end and the high end of any kind of like cultural
[00:07:31] extreme
[00:07:32] But I don't think that like woke shit is culturally extreme by any no very much mainstream
[00:07:38] 100% so yes, it wouldn't be like disruptive thing to make people like to you know functionally satire
[00:07:46] I guess it's like it is that is so funny. Yeah that that sentence is funnier than anything
[00:07:53] I've ever fucking yeah, I think maybe they got Tim Dylan to do this
[00:07:57] Yeah, I think that that yeah, it can't clear it clearly can't be that they think anyone thinks this is cool
[00:08:05] Mm-hmm. I don't think a single person
[00:08:07] But maybe it is a recruitment video, but look at all the other dumb shit that the CIA like the CIA
[00:08:13] Like got a lot of people on its side post 9-eleven
[00:08:17] Not not by like stoking fears about international terrorism
[00:08:22] But by just making movies where the CIA guys get to wear khakis and Oakley's yeah
[00:08:27] That's it. That's what sold all of like the fucking the people are now like QAnon people
[00:08:31] They're like wow that guy looks like he's fucking he just he's like he goes to REI, but he's not a fag
[00:08:36] Yeah, you know, I mean it's like that
[00:08:40] That's all it took. Oh like the guy from Sicario James Brolin from that kind of shit
[00:08:44] Yeah, I mean I said at the field is a dark 30 check and if you don't think that that's like like explicit
[00:08:50] Like I sent it to Felix the other day. I saw this ad. This is very funny
[00:08:53] I mean it's an ad for khakis for those kind of it's like an ad for being one of those guys
[00:09:01] Yes, see but James Brolin that movie war flip-flops here we go. That's cool travel where you want
[00:09:06] But they also were flip-flops in zero dark 30. Yep. They're playing four shoes and flip-flops
[00:09:11] Oh, yeah, and it's Oakley's the backwards hat and it works. It's that simple
[00:09:16] It's literally like letting you know that the global, you know
[00:09:20] Like intelligence monster has casual Friday
[00:09:28] From clothing arts travel where you want the CIA version of khakis
[00:09:37] You don't need like any kind of jingoistic bullshit you just need you need got like the fucking like the punisher logo
[00:09:45] I mean, that's it yo Jim Jim the office was created solely to get a bunch of guys in their 20 a bunch of
[00:09:53] Blan motherfucks in the 20s and then Jim just became that guy his CIA guy
[00:10:00] So now they're like that's me. I can be Jim. I can be Jim. I can make fun of the re-tard at work
[00:10:06] And then I get to go to Ben God's crazy on some muslims
[00:10:10] Just go off and Ben God Jack Ryan show exactly that's what I mean. Yeah, they went from the office of Jack Ryan for that reason
[00:10:17] I remember I think I went to like he's a plant. Oh, he's he's a
[00:10:21] One of those like like a regal where they did like the first look thing
[00:10:26] Or maybe it wasn't even in a movie. Yeah, but I saw some like one of those like 20 minute promotional things for that Jack Ryan show
[00:10:32] Yeah, and it was John Krasinski talking about how we got to visit Langley and actually drink the cum of them actually
[00:10:41] Actually like the sacrifices these guys make just to fuck him and his ass. Yeah, and receive pleasure from his anus
[00:10:48] Well, he's making you know, it's crazy TV shows calling them heroes. Yeah, it's really it's amazing the amount of work
[00:10:55] Okay, so here's how it is. I think we're on to something here because they've it's a two pronged
[00:11:00] It's a two pronged recruitment approach, right because we have those guys. We have the guys
[00:11:04] They're like I could be CIA doesn't mean they don't do like there's no reason for them to do recruitment
[00:11:10] But all those guys hate doesn't make any sense because they thought that they were trying to kill Trump
[00:11:15] They thought the deep state was against no, it's not those guys. It's it's like fucking Democrats is what I'm saying
[00:11:22] Democrat and that's the that's the reason it's this too because it's like now it's women online who were
[00:11:27] Tattletales see this video and they're like awesome
[00:11:31] So now they're like the fucking so now you got your operators the guys that you got the khakis do and then you got the fucking
[00:11:37] Then you got a bunch of bitches online spying that would literally tip off the CIA if ever was a necessity
[00:11:43] We've trained a generation
[00:11:45] Snitch but my existence is not a box checking exercise
[00:11:50] Walking declaration a woman whose inflection does not rise at the end of her sentences the Kamala
[00:11:56] Hi, that's love that's anti-semit. I did not sneak into CIA
[00:12:00] My employment was not and is not the result of a fluke or slip through the cracks
[00:12:05] I earned my way in and I earned my way up the ranks of this organization
[00:12:09] I am educated qualified and competent and sometimes I struggle I
[00:12:14] Struggle feeling like I could do more be more to my two sons and I struggle leaving the office when I feel there's so much more to do
[00:12:22] I used to struggle with imposter syndrome
[00:12:36] But again like they have to
[00:12:40] It's a spy agents
[00:12:43] Like to what it's like these statements are like deliberately satirical has to make me think that this is done
[00:12:49] It's like it's not it can't it can't be serious. It can't be can't be serious
[00:12:55] I mean, well be it serious, but it's not like right, you know
[00:12:58] I'm saying they're trying to take the K-Hive the Kamala hive. Yeah, here's this and they're like that's me
[00:13:05] Yeah, they're gonna that's what I'm saying dude. They're gonna make a lot more cops that started as fucking snitches on fucking
[00:13:11] Twitter everyone hates me and that makes me good at being in the CIA. Yeah, the patriarchy
[00:13:17] I intern
[00:13:21] But they were already doing that. I mean, that's what zero dark 30 the movie was yeah, yeah
[00:13:25] It's like what this is of like a I guess I never saw a satirical version of that
[00:13:29] But no that I mean zero dark 30 is just a girl boss pro CIA
[00:13:34] Movie I never realized she kind of sick and just good things hot so it works on me too. Yeah, I don't you know
[00:13:42] If I can get a little piece, you know, I'll put on the khakis. Yeah
[00:13:46] Yeah, I'll throw the gays on you black bag as many Arabs you want
[00:13:51] Some some ageless redhead alien it comes from the planet Dixakrian
[00:13:58] She definitely has that quality. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, she's like a Vulcan
[00:14:01] She's got some like it's the chica cheekbones. Yeah, my my race has no feelings
[00:14:07] We are Pussies just become tighter with a
[00:14:16] Reverses we start having
[00:14:24] Also, you know
[00:14:27] That's the way to do you know this like spicy Latina bitch like her parents got hers their slaves taken away at their coffee
[00:14:34] Plantation by Castro. Yeah, and then she came here. It was like we were poor
[00:14:40] We had nothing. We'll have to CIA guys back in the 60s. We're all just
[00:14:45] You know, I mean I don't for lack of a better word
[00:14:52] But that would be a funny way to phrase it yeah
[00:14:55] Well for lack of a better
[00:14:57] That's the only word I heard words thousand
[00:15:03] probably a hundred mm-hmm
[00:15:05] Was I was a joke I used to do when I was like 20 about how like fucking
[00:15:11] Eskimos they were like, you know Eskimos they got like 50 words for snow. It's like yeah, but we got at least so many words for black people
[00:15:16] What does that mean yeah, I think the same thing. Mm-hmm. We got too much too many bucks
[00:15:28] Them
[00:15:30] That was a really good SCIA video. Yeah, I'm ready to sign up
[00:15:34] I hope the CIA gave bounces back. Mm-hmm. Would you stop? Would you be in a movie called snickario?
[00:15:39] And it's about a guy that's eating too many Snickers. Wow is there more to it? No
[00:15:45] He goes to Mexico because he's been kicked out of America for what big to fat for making America sink it to a closer to China
[00:15:54] You're out of this spy for China
[00:15:57] No, I would be in that movie. It doesn't sound like we're trying to suck America
[00:16:04] Enough to do it sounds like I would be kind of a caricature of a fat man
[00:16:08] Yeah, I would need a more I would need a more so now now America live China's basement
[00:16:14] We're not big fat guy. He's snicker until they suck all the way to China basement. There are much fatter guys than me
[00:16:22] I'd be really embarrassed. I just don't think I'm right for the role. I'm just it. Oh, I guess the whole world collapses in on itself
[00:16:27] Looks like a big pair of butt cheeks now
[00:16:30] That would be cool. Yeah, be cool. But cheeks world the new Adam Curtis documentary
[00:16:34] The cheeks world and what if I told you you could fuck the butt cheeks
[00:16:40] Yeah, God could
[00:16:44] I've never seen an Adam Curtis documentary. Oh, they're you they're really good dude
[00:16:49] You could learn a shit ton of that eat some edibles
[00:16:53] Just be like having a mind balloon be like listen a little bit of suicide, you know
[00:16:58] You always put tight music does during the during the interstitial parts pretty cool. Is it actually good? I?
[00:17:07] Thought that I think they're pretty good. Yeah, I thought the the hype hyper normalization
[00:17:12] I don't need to learn I need to have a good time the last one was a little repetitive stuff's in a movie called diaper normal
[00:17:17] I know I why diaper that's not even a fat thing. It is a certain point the final level. You can't wipe
[00:17:24] Oh, yeah, I can wipe very easily. Mm-hmm. Not fat people. Don't wear diapers fat people go in car washes for shower
[00:17:43] I can bathe myself. Thank you very much. Although I will say I used to like getting hosed off when I was a young boy
[00:17:50] I'm with that happens sometimes after the pool
[00:17:54] You know, you don't want to shower, but the chlorine mm-hmm so you get somebody to hose you off
[00:17:59] But there's a shower outside the pool in the in the upper in the situation when there's no shower
[00:18:05] Which I love the outer shower at the beach. There's nothing like I can't wait to go to the damn beach
[00:18:11] There's there's no luxury like I need to get golden brown as a motherfucker. Do you mean to me?
[00:18:16] You can't get back on that board. You can't get golden brown out of it. Yes. I can how how you can't get tan
[00:18:23] Oh, no, I get crispy. No, you don't do I
[00:18:27] Get super crispy. Either you nor Nick can tan up. That's actually not true about me. I do get pretty dark
[00:18:33] No, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, it's not I do get I do get pretty dark when I live in Texas
[00:18:40] So I drive home in the afternoon. I work 6 a.m. The 2 p.m. I had an hour commute and this arm from hanging outside of the window
[00:18:47] My car was like I was like a black person trucker style. Yeah, it was why I mean
[00:18:53] I might they got like dark it was like weird a gradient from one side to the other mm-hmm
[00:18:58] The arm the arm the arm tan the car tan is a real thing. I will give you that yeah around August
[00:19:04] You know they have like jacks the Mortal Kombat of as metal arms
[00:19:07] Yeah, how about like a white character that just says black guy arms. Yeah, that's cool. So he just says like
[00:19:14] White bombs
[00:19:23] Colonial outfit
[00:19:25] It's just got like a tricorder hat, but then the sleeves are cut off. He just says jacks his arms
[00:19:30] Time traveling I was thinking about a dick Tracy villain named named grown mannequin
[00:19:35] Yeah, it's a mannequin of a little boy, but it's got a huge dick huge cock. I like that. That's awesome
[00:19:41] I like that. Yeah, it's like a big hairy dick yes, mm-hmm dick Tracy has to stop get you dick Tracy
[00:19:48] Yeah, not today grown mannequin. He's and when he gets him he rapes him. I guess I get yeah
[00:19:54] He just slaps him across the face with his penis. This is awesome. Hogg. Yeah, that's yeah
[00:19:58] Has dick Tracy ever been raped in the comics. Yeah practically every comment
[00:20:08] It's rape 1930s style
[00:20:13] This would be awesome dick Tracy was a comic mainly dealing with homosexual rape in the 20s
[00:20:18] Yeah, and he's like just because it happens
[00:20:20] Doesn't
[00:20:28] Feeling like I'm supposed to apologize for the space I occupied rather than intoxicate people with my effort my brilliance
[00:20:36] I am proud of me full-stop
[00:20:38] My parents
[00:20:40] Everything they knew and loved to expose me to opportunities. They never had
[00:20:44] Because of them I stand here today a proud first generation Latina and officer at CIA
[00:20:51] I am unapologetically me. I want you to be unapologetically
[00:20:57] Know your work command your space
[00:21:04] God damn
[00:21:06] China news and then
[00:21:08] That's so fucking tight
[00:21:10] Yeah, dude, you're right that this has there's some other the CIA is playing for d chess with us
[00:21:16] She's saying too many buzz words. I don't even think it's for d chess would it's like it's regular checkers. No
[00:21:24] So what is it? What's the boy? It's like I said earlier. It's one or the other
[00:21:29] One is to satirize these ideas by making them if they are culturally
[00:21:34] The what the old the CIA has to understand that it's lame
[00:21:37] So what it can do is it can make things lame by associating right right right yeah, right?
[00:21:43] I think so or I mean it is just like at face value. It's like you know the same thing is like
[00:21:51] Let's take the the lamest thing that has broad popularity associate ourselves which which every company is doing right?
[00:21:58] It's literally every day Doritos. It's we it's the same thing as the khakis and the Oakley's
[00:22:03] Mm-hmm. I
[00:22:06] Mean it's more fun. It's more fun to think that there's more going on than that. You're right, but there isn't
[00:22:12] Yeah, it's true. That's a bummer. So everybody talking about oh boy. They're co-opting the language of the left
[00:22:18] It's like no, this is just that's not the left. They're broadly popular ideas
[00:22:24] That are again in every fucking every bank commercial you're gonna see
[00:22:30] Mm-hmm over the last ten years. Yeah, it took them a while to figure it out
[00:22:35] Pepsi kind of waited in you know, it's funny is that Kylie Jenner Pepsi ad could come out today and
[00:22:40] Be like would be canceled. You know what I kind of see what they're going from
[00:22:46] They were just they fucking they were ahead of their time. Honestly, that is like
[00:22:51] People kind of I don't know if I said it. Yeah, my idea on the show was a pro Pepsi commercial
[00:22:56] What's that is like it's a guy and like it's a guy in Ohio and is you know
[00:23:00] He's like yelling with his mom and arguing and you like you see him loading they are 15
[00:23:04] And he gets in his Dodge Challenger
[00:23:06] Mm-hmm, and then he's like looking at map quests and like how to get to Charlottesville, Virginia
[00:23:11] and then you just see him on the road. Yeah, and he stops in a corner store and
[00:23:15] And like as he's going in Mike Brown is walking out
[00:23:19] Oh, I was and they kind of like lock eyes for a second then he goes up to the counter. He's like I want a Coca-Cola and they're like
[00:23:25] We don't have Coca-Cola
[00:23:26] He's like what do you mean? You don't have a Coca-Cola is like I'm sorry
[00:23:29] Oh, we have a Pepsi and the guy drinks a Pepsi and he's like wow and then he just goes home to Charlotte's the Earth
[00:23:36] Ohio and like throwing away the gun and volunteering
[00:23:39] That's a great one dude. Yeah, absolutely instead of driving this car. You won't be racist anymore
[00:23:51] It's just it's just simply he's got a tattoo of the n-word on his forearm and he just it's him crossing it out with a sharpie
[00:24:01] That would be such a good tattoo
[00:24:03] It was just it's just the n-word and a line to it and people are like what the fuck is that you're like
[00:24:08] I'm saying no don't say
[00:24:15] The boy you just had to in like smaller letters saying and then the word
[00:24:21] Is bad yeah
[00:24:25] It says the n-word and then there's a cross through and people don't understand that then you add saying
[00:24:30] Above the the nose sign over the n-word and people are like are you saying no, so not saying you're like look
[00:24:39] I don't have any tattoos. Yeah. Yeah, it's my home. It's kind of a work in process
[00:24:47] But I went on went on Ink Master. They really fucked up my vision
[00:24:51] Dude by the way, I've been watching Ink Masters. Have you been watching?
[00:25:00] But I would if it was to show about barbecue
[00:25:08] Show about how to cook Google fucking pork chops and ribs. Yeah, I'm gonna show LA
[00:25:13] It would have to be NY oink again
[00:25:23] I would love to fuck a fat girl that looks exactly like Cavan D. That is a hundred percent of one of my types
[00:25:32] Damn if you're out there plus size cap on these out there come come give me a little slurp
[00:25:36] Of course plus size cat Von D is out there. That's like that's like 30% of our percent of big the big bitch can
[00:25:44] Isn't yeah, yes shaved side of the head. Mm-hmm. Sleeps have nothing wrong with that brother
[00:25:51] So yeah the invitation to give me some slurp each still out there. I'm a Latina
[00:25:56] Immigrant I'm a big beach. I mean big big beach. I mean the C. I. J
[00:26:02] I have a podcast that makes over three hundred dollars a month on Patreon
[00:26:09] It's a socialist
[00:26:13] Socialist in the FBI it's a socialist
[00:26:17] Transformers podcast
[00:26:19] It's about the Christopher Nolan Batman movies and also social social listing
[00:26:29] And it's also a comedy podcast why not and I used to why don't we why don't we just add we'll say that also
[00:26:35] Yeah, because all time mix okay because we're not funny doesn't mean I'm not comedian
[00:26:41] I'm just because once every once in a while we'll say eat the rich and then chuckle
[00:26:45] And then and then they say comedy podcast. Yeah, we're going to give you the geotene
[00:26:51] Okay, if it's by to the same degree. It's not any of those other things
[00:26:57] Why don't we also just throw that in there?
[00:27:02] Damn
[00:27:04] The motherfucking CIA baby
[00:27:07] I'm a pink beach. That's awesome. We think when's the last time they knock somebody over?
[00:27:12] Kill somebody I feel like the CIA is so dickless of this monster juice. Yeah, I feel like
[00:27:19] The deep state stuff that they have more money than ever do that. It's gonna be worse now
[00:27:24] And why do they just kill Trump? I guess they made up coronavirus. They made a crime I see I'm in office
[00:27:29] Yeah, that's a deep check if I've ever had yeah cuz I was for a long time
[00:27:33] I was like they killed Kennedy, you know, just to flex. I can't they just kill Trump, right?
[00:27:39] Would have been to you don't need to kill you don't need to kill. Yeah, it's true
[00:27:44] You don't need your fucking you can do because I've changed my opinion
[00:27:47] What they found out over the last 25 years is that people don't give a shit about anything and they won't be moved to do anything
[00:27:55] It's true
[00:27:57] It's nobody's yeah, nothing so killing people just makes it too hot is what you're saying that they might do something about it
[00:28:03] No, it's so you don't need to kill people
[00:28:06] You don't need to assassinate anybody to discredit them. Mm-hmm. Okay, I see you know
[00:28:12] It's because here's here's what has like calling someone a racist or a pedophile now has so much more power than like calling someone a philan
[00:28:19] Derer ever did mm-hmm, which is what they used to have yeah that someone's
[00:28:23] Cheat yeah, you can somebody being a communist
[00:28:27] Ruined careers. What are you talking about not like this shit does yeah, dude? Who's that fucking guy?
[00:28:33] Hugh Jackman played him in a movie
[00:28:35] Oh, it's not his name
[00:28:38] He was like a presidential candidate and he just got pussy on a Gary heart. He's got pussy on a boat and he was ruined
[00:28:44] It's just it's crazy how shit has changed
[00:28:47] Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess Clinton beat the philandering case
[00:28:52] Yeah, he was he was the fucking
[00:28:54] He didn't end of that. Yeah, that's true. He did it that you know what you got to give him some credit there
[00:28:59] Yeah, he's switched again pussy on in the book in the oval on this from
[00:29:03] Well, it's this way. They didn't have to kill Bill Clinton
[00:29:08] You know
[00:29:10] Did I saw it so nobody was doing have to kill Bill Clinton yeah, but Clinton Clinton was helping everybody is also a pedophile to
[00:29:18] You can do whatever you want you just got to be one for you
[00:29:21] Just got to make sure the boys get a taste yeah
[00:29:24] And Clinton and the motherfucking rage occasion were making sure everybody was getting fucking a little little piece of the action
[00:29:30] There's got to be a little bit of pussy to go around for all
[00:29:35] It's so funny. I saw headline Trump a Trump Trump lost weight and ditch the spray tan
[00:29:41] He's like live in life. Dude. I can't wait to see she is doing so well. I would be awesome if yeah
[00:29:47] I'm so proud of her who's she Trump. Yeah, what he lost the presidency weight
[00:29:54] He's not doing spray tan anymore. Why did she I don't know?
[00:29:58] It's like what a lady would say like that. They're like skinny and living life now
[00:30:03] Or what a gay guy would say gay guy
[00:30:06] You guys say that about guys. I think that's more where you were going for Adam. Yeah gay guys do say that about each other
[00:30:12] Mm-hmm and you and me
[00:30:16] So annoying dude. I can't walk through tells you about them being like excuse me. She her ma'am excuse me bitch
[00:30:22] Yeah, bitch
[00:30:24] He did he really lose the presidency weight. He said that he's skinny and he's not doing the tan anymore
[00:30:30] Yeah, he's just living it up. He's doing the memos. I miss him
[00:30:35] Where's it where the memos get published? They just I don't know they can release they have a huge presidential seal on them
[00:30:43] He had one about LeBron that rock really I guess you're right
[00:30:47] What's the point of killing Trump where it's like you he's useful for like four years and now he's just a clown
[00:30:53] That nobody gives a fuck about me. I have no idea. I
[00:30:56] Just I don't I don't see a point. Yeah, I mean it would be it would be absurd to kill
[00:31:03] Well, I think to your point. It's also the thing that yeah, no one gives a fuck about anything
[00:31:08] Anymore, but if you killed someone they might like that's the one thing that might get people sort of riled up
[00:31:15] Where's right now? Well, it's like what like so what's the point of the CIA is just I mean it like large
[00:31:21] It's a defend like American like business interests international Chinese guy
[00:31:26] It should you know kill like our enemies? Yeah, but ultimately it is just did like protect, you know
[00:31:31] Like American business interests. Yeah, yeah internationally
[00:31:36] And so I'm saying you'd think Putin would begin some more, you know some more shots fired his way or something
[00:31:43] Well, yes, is he yeah everything's I mean like the like people would like talk about how like the Russian
[00:31:49] The Russian collusion narrative like kind of collapse and went away, but they still it's constant like constantly everything is just
[00:31:56] labeled like Russian disinformation gotcha
[00:32:00] Yeah
[00:32:02] Isn't that was it's like a little Giuliani thing is about is like he went over there and he'd like now
[00:32:07] He's a pawn of Russian disinformation
[00:32:09] That the fucking that the hunter Biden's laptop was a Russian like
[00:32:13] Awesome. They put that stuff in there. Yeah, that's all but it's like it isn't he also a crack at I mean
[00:32:22] He didn't you have that job at that fucking gas company under fucking rules those pictures him getting his dick double sucked or whatever
[00:32:29] Mm-hmm. I love that guy
[00:32:33] Fucking rock indeed
[00:32:35] He's getting so much pussy from Horace doing drugs
[00:32:38] That's the vice if you had to be a vice president's kid or a president's kid
[00:32:44] Let's hunters number one with a bullet Chelsea's the last one. Mm-hmm. The bush twins are pretty seemed like a fun time
[00:32:52] Well, they just they just got drunk at college. That's like very normal
[00:32:57] I guess I guess that's true and I was I was of the age where I was like I guess because I was like whether they give an head of
[00:33:03] Bush
[00:33:04] Yeah, mm-hmm. Well, I wanted to fuck them. Do you guys ever want to fuck the bush? Oh, yeah?
[00:33:09] I don't work it. I want to get double. I'm only only to get closer to the West Wing
[00:33:15] Only so I could become Toby
[00:33:20] Damn and then fucking this pussy was one of the greatest privileges of my life
[00:33:27] I've only gotten pussy one time
[00:33:29] My my family came over here from Israel. They my family came here from Auschwitz to get my father
[00:33:36] Had to rub two pennies together get a single piece of pussy once
[00:33:40] 40 years
[00:33:42] So that I could come now I could get pussy all the time
[00:33:45] You know, I would still fuck them who we told me from the bush twins
[00:33:49] You want to have sex with Toby?
[00:33:51] You're starting to look like Toby with the new look whose Toby do Toby from West Wing Toby from West Wing you should watch it
[00:33:57] It's a good show. I will never watch the West Wing. It's pretty good Toby West Wing
[00:34:02] I'll watch breast wing the breast wing watch breast wing, but it's a chicken breast and chicken wing
[00:34:08] It's a show about I hate chicken breast unless it's properly marinated president Bartlett pair
[00:34:14] Oh, I don't look like Toby who's at all. Let me see you look exactly
[00:34:20] That's you
[00:34:22] I don't look like him. That's you
[00:34:32] Ziggler yeah, so stops characters name is TCBY
[00:34:42] References recently, but that one works because his name was Toby it's not but stop eight part of the oh
[00:34:49] Hi, okay, there is a name. This is more of a visual joke. I took a bite out of my own name. I fucking
[00:34:59] Went to a plane where you could eat your name your name's TCBY. It's like yeah, I accidentally ate part of my bad
[00:35:05] I was hungry. I think one of the best moments in the show is when we were waiting in the airport to go to Cleveland
[00:35:10] Then you arrived on a wheelchair
[00:35:15] Everybody
[00:35:17] Small ladies pushing me in the wheel all have a big laugh
[00:35:22] myself into a wheelchair
[00:35:24] I had an injury I had an injury from a sports game
[00:35:28] There's a time where my fucking friends were there and I didn't have to shoulder the whole burden
[00:35:32] Maybe I wouldn't have gotten hurt. There's a time there's a
[00:35:35] Who was the only one that showed up to the skanks best basketball tournament?
[00:35:40] I know I couldn't handle ari Shafir and noted 9-eleven liar Steve ran as easy alone
[00:35:45] I needed the support of Adam and Nick, but they were nowhere to be found
[00:35:50] And because of you guys abandoning me I snapped my foot. I was at the getting pussy museum
[00:35:55] No, you were to receive in a war you were at the museum for being honored for no
[00:36:00] Study because you've never gotten as an honor as honorary doctor
[00:36:06] Getting pussy museum. Wow, but how funny if Steve ran as easy?
[00:36:09] He's like live was that like I was two blocks away from 9-eleven getting mad pussy from the hottest bitches you ever seen
[00:36:16] But they actually died in a problem triple D's we call her fucking we call her we call her Giffy
[00:36:22] Harry
[00:36:23] She's got the triple D tits and she was stuck in my dick which back in those days it was 13 inches
[00:36:30] Tragedy I watch those in a tragedy
[00:36:33] Fell down and I actually I noted in the towers to put some of the fire out Wow and people were like wow turns out
[00:36:39] That story wasn't true
[00:36:42] Dude I can't watch the league ever again
[00:36:46] Was good
[00:36:52] I mean listen I still fuck with the artist. Yeah, mr. Ran is easy his
[00:37:02] You guys ever the artist from the art
[00:37:03] I saw wasfully if I remember correctly
[00:37:06] I don't think he started doing comedy until like later in life
[00:37:10] I think relatively was he like an actor that was I remember opening for him and talking to him and like he had only been doing comedy
[00:37:17] I think like he was headline. You know, I've been doing comedy like maybe five six years. Oh really? Yeah
[00:37:21] Yeah, he was already like
[00:37:23] You know, I think in his like earlier mid 30s
[00:37:27] And it's not that crazy if it was if he was in his early 30s five years
[00:37:32] mid 20s not like I mean we start you start
[00:37:35] You like since that's why I said relatively late. I mean I'm not like yeah
[00:37:38] He didn't start at 50 years old right right right?
[00:37:43] Even 30 is a weird time to start but
[00:37:47] Don't say that there's a lot of guys that listen to this show. Yeah that you're giving them hope that they should not have
[00:37:53] What do you mean? I really I think in comedy if you don't start it like fuck by by 23
[00:37:59] Yeah, you're like you're fucked. No, I said 30 is late to start. Oh, yeah. Yeah, even 30 is weird
[00:38:05] Yeah, you know if you want to do it you should do it immediately
[00:38:08] Yeah, and if you haven't guess what your dream is over. I mean basically
[00:38:13] The amount of that it's like in my life
[00:38:15] I guess like meeting guys especially when I was like in my late teens like 18 19
[00:38:20] Like 33 and they're like yeah, the guys were open mikers with yeah
[00:38:23] I always wanted to do this, you know, and it's like I'm finally doing there like it's crazy when you're my age
[00:38:28] You'll have been doing this, you know so long and it's like yeah, and you'll be like
[00:38:32] Still at your computer job. Yeah guys still wearing their work clothes at the mic. This is not gonna
[00:38:37] Yeah, it's not gonna happen. Hey, I was still wearing my fucking my my elastic khakis from DXL
[00:38:44] Then I'll do that when I oh man that era when I was working at the fucking
[00:38:49] The I was coming with my paralegal clothes my paralegal clothes, but my extra fat paralegal clothes
[00:38:55] I love that. Yeah. DxL is a store stuff goes to it is called Dick's extra little
[00:39:00] No, it's not and it's for guys really small
[00:39:05] How would that be why would they close you like that small and
[00:39:11] Make you look like you don't have a small dick. Oh shit casual mail
[00:39:15] This khakis with a dick print in it
[00:39:17] Yeah, that's not a bad idea
[00:39:24] An idea for like a like a
[00:39:27] Fashion g a German jeans company called peace. Yeah, it's like P. Oomle out I s and they've got like a piss stain
[00:39:35] Oh, I like the leg into the shoe into the shoe. Yeah comes
[00:39:39] Oh, it's it wet or is it just an art illusion? Yeah, it's dark colored
[00:39:46] Peace because then you could actually piss yourself
[00:39:50] That's an added bonus half of the money goes to African women to buy neck rings
[00:39:56] Spanner neck why is that you know cuz I like doing that thing with their neck. Yeah, what's the what's the connection?
[00:40:02] Oh, it's just a philanthropic yeah, I think I'm at money at Africa. That's awesome
[00:40:07] Do buying them discs for their lips. Mm-hmm. That's tight
[00:40:11] Yeah
[00:40:12] Because that's it's swaggy over there get the lip discs have a big ass lip
[00:40:19] That was always a cool look to me having like a walk man in your face
[00:40:23] I'm a big old Sony walk man. Same look. Yeah crazy. Yeah now will be pretty easy to have a fucking mp3 player
[00:40:32] You know yeah, they get smaller
[00:40:34] I
[00:40:36] Yeah
[00:40:45] Have had a cow so
[00:40:49] Stop with the piece of like it's just from Polly with wires going into his ears plugged in just on the bus and elementary school
[00:40:57] First day like I hope everyone thinks I'm cool because I got a cow soon
[00:41:00] I'm going
[00:41:03] Are you so that's another wire going into your mouth
[00:41:07] Cal listen, I'm listening to the Spice Girls. I did I was listening to the Spice Girls
[00:41:13] Human Spice
[00:41:16] Cinnamon Spice
[00:41:18] Dude, I was a Spice Girls head and I wanted to get some Spice Girl head as well
[00:41:24] Now I'm all about the rice girls who are they?
[00:41:27] I don't think that's what they're called the rice girls. Yeah, I
[00:41:34] Think that's blinky rice
[00:41:37] Karate rice
[00:41:40] Kiki rice choppy
[00:41:44] Just the rice girls I've never heard of that band but you're more into k-pop. Yeah, so what can I say?
[00:41:49] Mm-hmm. Kiki kiki. Yeah, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on that
[00:42:07] Cleaning ignorance perhaps you're eating ignorance
[00:42:10] I don't know I'm just I'm letting my brain do the work
[00:42:22] You're on I'd like to eat the fifth I'd like to eat the
[00:42:27] I'm here. It's tasty. I've had friends that have eaten the fifth and I'd love to eat it, please. Mm-hmm. We'll take a number five
[00:42:33] Oh fuck dude
[00:42:38] I need a fucking massage. Do you know everybody here? You guys have a good massage person? No since I got on this fucking so right thing
[00:42:45] It's like regular massages just are worthless to me now because I think work so much better than going to see somebody really yeah
[00:42:52] Yeah, I mean it's it's it's it's it was like it was an absolute game changer
[00:42:57] Damn dude. It is the one product now because you've Angela's on our program. Yeah
[00:43:01] That is by no means a sponsor, but they're just what if trigger point therapy is the CIA sounds like yeah
[00:43:10] Could be dude. Mm-hmm. It's funny because it's like they like they have to appeal to if it is just a regular improvement video
[00:43:16] They have to pick some kind of person to appeal to right and that's the only kind of video you could make now
[00:43:23] This is the least amount of like backlash that they could cause
[00:43:26] Because like what the fuck else are they gonna do to appeal to some like millennial narcissist? It's like I'm a gamer
[00:43:32] Everyone thinks I'm racist, but really I just like Rick and Morty a little bit too much. Yeah
[00:43:36] Yeah, you know it's like I haven't had a job in 15 years and when I did I was living with my parents and delivering pizza for
[00:43:43] Domino's mm-hmm now I collect you know
[00:43:47] Well, they're probably not on food stamps
[00:43:49] I don't know what those guys do for money. Yeah, oh, yeah, you just do like a traditional like living off one like macho
[00:43:57] Fucking guys like fucking you know, I sell a theorem every six weeks to buy a bunch of bang energy at Costco
[00:44:06] I'm proud to work for the CIA
[00:44:10] What's bang energy? It's like it's a fucking
[00:44:13] Energy drink or a pre-workout specifically. There's like a gold rush on energy drinks over the last 20 years
[00:44:20] Oh, yeah, so many companies have been like we're gonna be the bloated. Yeah, the only one ever really liked was so be adrenaline
[00:44:28] So be had a great
[00:44:31] That was sure was good the lizards the lizards. I love the lizard. Yeah, yeah the lizards
[00:44:35] I like but I just listen the advertising got me and you're right when we were kids. They had some great commercials was like so be
[00:44:42] Lifestyle, I don't even remember the commercial. I just remember so be adrenaline and maybe just the branding
[00:44:47] I don't remember branding was sick so be was but I
[00:44:51] Think I said big glass bottles. Yeah, but then
[00:44:55] So be adrenaline was like a small can it was tasty more like a Mountain Dew amp
[00:45:01] Interesting. Yeah, I just could not I was really I tried to become a sobi guy because it felt cool
[00:45:06] But ultimately I was always in Arizona iced tea big cans type of fellow
[00:45:10] You know green tea when you want it to be healthy. Mm-hmm the green jasmine tea when you want to be healthy peach
[00:45:18] Otherwise, oh fuck. I gotta pay. I gotta pay my fucking rent. Mm-hmm. I just remember
[00:45:25] My damn how much does it cost to live in candy land?
[00:45:31] How much does it cost to be the mud monster?
[00:45:33] Surprisingly affordable this and it's nice shit wherever you want. Yeah, sometimes one of those little fucking elf bitches
[00:45:47] Stumbles in you get some pussy from them. I ran into your
[00:45:51] Real estate agent this weekend nice. She said she's got a couple more options. I like to hear yeah
[00:45:58] I'm trying to be neighbors with you brother
[00:45:59] I'm like just make sure stop gets within a half a mile radius
[00:46:04] I think actually after this we're gonna see an apartment that's uh across the street literally across
[00:46:10] Dude if I'm hoping I'm going in there hoping against hope that it works out
[00:46:15] It would be awesome to live across the street. We could have a little we could have Dixie cups with the stream
[00:46:21] How about trim we have walkie talk?
[00:46:23] Connect
[00:46:25] Neighbors trim neighbors. Yeah, he's like boy. I I'm getting a bunch of pussy. Oh, yeah, because he's into
[00:46:34] Poit hole you've you've had too much sex
[00:46:38] Wait, who are these people? It's Gomer pile. I'm not familiar
[00:46:43] It's from uh full metal jacket. Yeah, he's well never seen it Gomer Gomer pile is
[00:46:49] Gomer pile was a television green acres beloved television character played by uh
[00:46:54] By Jim neighbors
[00:46:57] Are you not familiar no
[00:47:01] I know Jomar neighbors
[00:47:04] Any relation
[00:47:06] Neighbors direct neighbors
[00:47:10] Dude, I'm thinking about walkie talkie. That'd be sick dude
[00:47:14] Yeah, brother come over for buddy. Don't wait for an opening make one. Come on line. Come on. Go for the mitt second. Go for the hat
[00:47:23] And hard. Give me everything you got. That's it. I'm moving for the kill slash slash
[00:47:29] That's it
[00:47:30] I'm sorry. Duke I had to do it. He was off balance. Why?
[00:47:36] Do I hurt you thumb, do you I get your bandage part lighter? So that's from neighbors. I see you
[00:47:40] Pie. Oh, what are you doing? He's like, I'm just getting some I'm just getting some pussy
[00:47:47] I had to do it. She was passed out is that that's kind of how you showed gay people back in tv before there were gay people
[00:47:55] Just an a feet southern guy extra southern. Yeah. Oh, yeah like with a soft affect. Mm-hmm
[00:48:02] What show is that from?
[00:48:04] Gomer pile. Is that the name of it? That is the name of the show Gomer pile. USMC
[00:48:09] Oh, hell yeah, Nick knows all shows
[00:48:13] Yeah, I didn't watch too much. You know you just watch the before yeah
[00:48:18] Yeah, I never watched Nick at night or any of that shit. Did you watch sucka dick? No, yes you did
[00:48:24] You know what I did and it was you sucking now because I was watching ever been on tv. Yes, you have
[00:48:30] You're the star of sucka dick
[00:48:32] Yeah, no you want a bunch of Emmys you want a bunch of gay Emmys suck it dick
[00:48:39] Oh, you want a bunch of Grammys crackers
[00:48:44] Thank you Teddy and they were delicious. I love them. You wanted the Teddy Grammys for being the fattest sounding
[00:48:52] The sound
[00:48:55] Voice recorded on yeah the category of Adele the Adele category
[00:49:00] For me a five-time machine
[00:49:04] Now the Adele guy who sang over the rainbow prize for a fattest
[00:49:10] Fattest sounding person that guy didn't sound fat though. He had a really bad issue
[00:49:16] Emmanuel
[00:49:18] What a why are you talking? I a toller that guy was a real 700 pounds. Yeah in the same well
[00:49:26] This is off. How does that make you feel?
[00:49:28] I'm
[00:49:30] Feel like anything make you feel good to feel represented in the ukulele community. I don't play the ukulele
[00:49:38] I was actually a regular guitar
[00:49:43] Sounded like that because I had to change the pitch to make his voice sound normal and it made the guitar tiny
[00:49:49] He was he was all a listen listen. It's in the real life. You can say what you want about me
[00:49:54] It sounded like you don't go after a fat icon like Israel whatever the fuck
[00:50:01] Sounding like a regular guitar, but his regular voice was like
[00:50:06] And then the fixing you stop you stop besmirching the fact
[00:50:11] When you know joined with his voice in the pitch shifting you can say whatever you want about me brother
[00:50:17] But you go after my fat friends
[00:50:19] And I'll fuck your ass
[00:50:21] I'll suck your dick and I'll fuck you right here where you stand. Mm-hmm. And how would you feel about that?
[00:50:27] Um, how would you appeal about taking the wrapper off a piece of candy?
[00:50:34] Wow
[00:50:36] That was a
[00:50:42] Trying to get around your body
[00:50:44] Wow, he got you just stop showing up to the Grammys and the the driver being like, oh, we're gonna need a stretch limit
[00:50:55] I think we're gonna need a stretch limousine. I would on the next will in grace
[00:50:59] Special guest star star vs. How is yeah? Hell yeah, I would love to be ridiculed by jack for being
[00:51:06] Yeah, and then the episode ends I grabbed my he's like what the hell is that the moon
[00:51:10] I would grab him by the neck get hit from him and then fuck Karen. Mm-hmm. Wow
[00:51:16] Yeah, that should never accounted for bisexual rape. I would have been a bisexual rapist on a willing race
[00:51:24] That would have been my arc
[00:51:27] Wow, that's just something they never explored well jack would have been down with it. Let's be honest
[00:51:32] Yeah, you know I'm saying he's like you're nasty. He's like oh
[00:51:36] And then Karen would also you're nasty for pussy. It's what he was here nasty that guy's nasty for pussy
[00:51:45] My favorite episode I think I've mentioned it is where well mr. Trump I am a dumb bitch
[00:51:55] My favorite
[00:51:57] Doing
[00:51:58] Did I hurt your thumb Duke? What are you nurse pile of private gomer pile? You are some sea. Hey sergeant
[00:52:06] You see I would you don't have to tell me what I see pile. I know what I see piles that you were playing paddy cake when you should be in his throat
[00:52:13] He's the enemy
[00:52:15] Duke
[00:52:16] You see sergeant that's just the trouble. I can't hardly think of Duke. It's nothing but my friend
[00:52:22] Oppose instead of thinking of Duke you're sick is now the gomer pile
[00:52:26] So what's the setup of the show there is a retard that's in the Marines, but what whose Duke?
[00:52:33] Duke is you is it a Nazi or something like who knows some other guy in his bayonet training. Oh, they're in training. Yeah
[00:52:43] I see
[00:52:45] I see what was your favorite episode of will and grace. Oh, they're they have a stripper
[00:52:50] And so it's a woman a girl's a girl shiver and she's giving people lap dances and Jack is there
[00:52:57] And she gives Jack a lap dance and he gets hard. Oh, and he's distraught
[00:53:03] Face in the crowd. He's so sad great movie. He's so sad
[00:53:08] Let me finish my story. I am. I'm just but it's a quick aside. It's really good. I gotta find a way to throw that in there
[00:53:15] They don't need to talk about it
[00:53:17] And I'll sit here and quietly wait for you to say something that rhymes with Pringles
[00:53:23] and then Jack actually gets shingles and
[00:53:28] So Jack so he gets so he gets hard and he's distraught and they're trying to understand. He's like, oh my god
[00:53:33] Am I straight? What's going on?
[00:53:35] He's like his world is crumbling and at the end of the episode it turns out that the stripper has a penis is trans
[00:53:43] So he's relieved
[00:53:45] Because she's a man after all
[00:53:50] To me that's a man
[00:53:53] And it explains how he's still able to be gay
[00:53:56] So that was what I remember being like damn. Okay. Well in grace
[00:53:59] So he was like he dealt with that by like trying to be straight or he like thinking that he know
[00:54:04] I don't remember I just are liking sports and stuff. Yeah, I think there's probably some stuff like that
[00:54:08] some jokes like that where he's like but
[00:54:10] Yeah, they're very in they bring her back. She's like, oh no, I used to be a guy. I don't know if she still had a cock
[00:54:17] Or if it got chopped off. I'm a biological male. Yeah, and they were like thank god. Thank god
[00:54:23] Which is awesome. Shout out to Will and Grace for that. It's a turf program
[00:54:27] Yeah, it is
[00:54:29] It's a fucking jk rowling wrote that one. Mm-hmm. That fucking whore
[00:54:36] Anyway
[00:54:38] Anyway, that's all that's all for now
[00:54:44] Facing the crowd is a good movie though. Mm-hmm
[00:54:47] Who's that? That's uh Andy Griffith. Yeah. Yeah, that was like oh, that's why he brought it up. Yeah
[00:54:53] Um, why he was in Will and Grace. Well, Will and Grace wasn't in Will and Grace
[00:54:59] Uh stop watch his Will and gravy
[00:55:01] Okay, Andy Griffith. Is that old motherfucker? Yeah from the Andy Griffith show
[00:55:10] Right, right, right
[00:55:14] My dick is small
[00:55:20] I can't get home stop watch is the candy
[00:55:22] Griffith show the candy something you brought up the candy give this show the candy give it the show I would I brought up a face in the crowd
[00:55:31] Oh, I see what you're doing now. You're just pointing one step away from things that may have rhyme with something
[00:55:39] You gotta get him back to trick or treat you
[00:55:43] That was just that's good
[00:55:45] You gotta say like a dick in the mouth. Yeah, Nick's mouth
[00:55:48] I'm doing what you do but instead of now with calling the gay now the tables the dinner tables of
[00:55:56] Yeah, I do that. I'm good with lunch tables have turned
[00:55:59] I love the visual of Nick at earth. Stop at a round table with his own lazy Susan
[00:56:05] It's a round it's it's a table is actually
[00:56:07] Sounds at the round table, but it's actually a square table and the round table refers to the man seated at the table
[00:56:14] Who's actually uh, gay
[00:56:16] Wait a second. That's the other thing about the table. Here's the thing if I have to do even less on this show
[00:56:22] Are you kidding? You think this is a punishment for me?
[00:56:25] I just show up and I'm I'm called fat for an hour then the alarm goes off. I ate my lunch
[00:56:30] You don't show up you snow cone up
[00:56:33] That's not even that's like a light snow snow cap. That's mostly water. I've never actually had snow caps. They're good
[00:56:40] I'm interested. Mm-hmm said stops really opposed to snow cap. Oh, he's a snowshillist. I'm a snow cap
[00:56:51] I saw I went to go see Mortal Kombat in the theater. She hates Henry kiss
[00:56:55] Kissing the first movie I've seen the theater loves her
[00:56:58] Hershey's I do love Hershey's kissin. Yeah, she's kissing you more combat was fucking bad very bad
[00:57:04] You can tell that it was their like 11th choice actors for every single character and the fucking thing is they were just
[00:57:11] Trying to set up the universe. I hate it. I didn't even go to the fighting tournament in space. No tournament. There was no
[00:57:18] Fucking turn they don't get there and and that you have some you protagonist that sucks dick
[00:57:23] He sucks. We don't even know who the fuck he is. It all makes Luke King instead of instead of seeing a
[00:57:28] Akuma taste I would prefer to see a crude attack. I would
[00:57:37] Stithers dip but there's oh better be a lot of heavy lips better be a lot of ranch. Mm-hmm and and the fucking uh also
[00:57:46] Sub-zero and fucking scorpion were awesome and they're in the movie for like one fucking seven minutes
[00:57:52] Also, I thought scorpion was a bad guy. It was a bad guy. I'm fine with them swapping that sub-zero is named after stops the dick measurement
[00:58:04] Sub left after
[00:58:14] Yeah, then the new protagonist sucked so when you blade isn't hot enough not hard enough
[00:58:20] Bring back fucking Billy Madison's green bag Veronica
[00:58:25] Veronica
[00:58:25] Funny now in like 20 for 2021 to subway to have like a big huge fat black lady in their commercials
[00:58:33] Just wearing like lingerie and stuff and she's holding up like a little pair of pants
[00:58:41] By eating that I hate subway every day
[00:58:44] intersectional mental retard
[00:58:46] With HIV and one of my legs is missing from diabetes and I can I can masturbate a baby with one hand
[00:58:55] And salute the flag with the other the Mexican flag that is
[00:59:00] Thanks to the sweet onion chicken terra
[00:59:04] Extra mayonnaise yeah the best sandwich I get the Italian cold cut sandwich and ask for the sweet onion teriyaki sauce to be put on it
[00:59:11] Oh, that sounds so bad. It's disgusting
[00:59:16] I'm disgusting and I work for the CIA
[00:59:20] Although you know what in a weird way. I'm I'm weirdly nostalgic for a subway sandwich. Oh in a weird way
[00:59:27] What was the bad one
[00:59:30] Huh? Not in a very on brand brand though because a week because an on brand way would be like eating a better sandwich
[00:59:36] I never I never in my life
[00:59:38] Like whatever wanted to go to say it was always just like fucking like you had to yeah, but not I had to it's like fucking
[00:59:45] I guess I'll just go to subway. Well, that's what I mean
[00:59:48] I'm more than the other hand was never blimpies guy never had him. Yeah, I've had him maybe three times in my line blimpies
[00:59:54] It's pretty good. Never had him
[00:59:56] But Jimmy Johns is okay
[00:59:58] Blimpies is blimpies. There's only like four locations on the east coast. Okay. Yeah, I remember when quiz knows
[01:00:04] We just had a second when quiz knows dropped out like subway is done for the quiz knows chicken carbonara
[01:00:11] Also, quiz knows that was the first instance of like meme culture leaking into the mainstream
[01:00:17] First and it took the world first. Yeah, come on. Yeah
[01:00:21] Decuizno
[01:00:23] Then make your penis
[01:00:25] Yeah, I really would have a such a reason podcast
[01:00:30] Three mice was the social easement podcast
[01:00:33] That's also about discontinuous all by sign which is it's intersectional as fuck. It's an anime socialist podcast
[01:00:43] Where we try to get people fired
[01:00:49] My fucking dick
[01:00:52] My fucking dick is hard. My penis is small
[01:00:56] But yeah, quiz knows just it was all that commercial
[01:00:58] We had one in in Vegas growing up which I believe was only in Delaware and Vegas. It might be in more places now
[01:01:05] They had a multi-audience
[01:01:07] Have you been there?
[01:01:09] Sounds familiar. They had a sandwich called the capestromi, which was incredible. What do we got in there? It's like um
[01:01:17] Pastromi and I think
[01:01:20] Coleslaw, I can't wait to I can't wait to go to the faunies for the third time this month
[01:01:24] I haven't been in the faunies all year. I fucking it's it's really I went one day like late in the pandemic
[01:01:31] Or whatever when they first like reopened. I don't know if they were closed or whatnot
[01:01:35] It was wall. This was still going on and they only had like left over you could only get like a certain
[01:01:40] They're like this is what we got left guys
[01:01:42] If you want something this is all there is and I just got some like leftover slop eggplant bullshit
[01:01:47] No, there's nothing on it other than like eggplant. Maybe lettuce. Mm-hmm. I was like disappointed bit into it
[01:01:53] Amazing still finally the best sandwiches. They're great. It's in red hook. Yeah, you know damn
[01:01:59] It's uh their breakfast sandwiches are really good too. My brother would come in this weekend
[01:02:02] They want they want to get some real new york shit. Maybe I'll take them there's a place on arthur abs
[01:02:07] It's like as good the food on arthur avenue is just more
[01:02:11] Sticky than good. It's not that good. Yeah, we went to I went to one place with will and Catherine and uh by the zoo
[01:02:18] Yeah, yeah, and uh it was fine. Yeah, it's fine. It's not bad
[01:02:23] It's not good. It's fine. You just let's it knock your socks off
[01:02:26] You want to go see the old timers, you know, like sandwiches are kind of around on the block
[01:02:30] on the cock on the cock
[01:02:33] I got a nice little fucking prick for you Adam where damn now you're literally doing my dick is small
[01:02:39] My name is starving my dick is small. My name is not
[01:02:44] My name is actually name. Oh my name is star bro
[01:02:47] Everything I say after this is a lie my name is star bro. So my biggest mom
[01:02:51] After that
[01:02:53] No, everything I say after this the object you already said it
[01:02:59] After this is where it starts a lie and then I'm a different guy by the way
[01:03:04] So that doesn't apply to me
[01:03:09] Subway sandwiches does not validate any of the claims made in this commercial truth is that stop versus day because actually small nice game
[01:03:14] Yeah, by law that's really subway things the FTC made a say a subway where it's a bunch of fucking guys
[01:03:22] Kids say that
[01:03:24] What subway would want to say is that he's not gay
[01:03:28] Stop personal friends subway Jared. I have now friends with Jared. They knew each other. I'm being my friend
[01:03:36] They became friends as my guys
[01:03:38] And then he lost their weight, but they still had one other thing in common
[01:03:41] Every fat guy is not friends. They're all friends and when Jared lost a way of being
[01:03:47] Jared lost their weight and the rest of the community turned their back on me
[01:03:51] I never was friends with stop he stopped kept being friends with him because they shared a hobby
[01:03:57] No, he did not have that happy
[01:04:00] does
[01:04:02] Stop does the part about stoppers being pedophiles true
[01:04:05] Yeah, legally required this legally fucking quizzes. It's not
[01:04:11] Fucking yeah, it's not even a restaurant. You're saying blem piece or whatever talking about subway. What the fuck am I doing? Oh, quiz those?
[01:04:26] All right, I gotta eat a salad if we keep talking about food. I'm gonna I'm gonna relapse. How about a jalad
[01:04:31] Oh, what is that? It's an Indian maybe for everyone of those. Yeah, I've had never had a jalad spicy salad
[01:04:38] I've never had a jalad
[01:04:40] Okay