Cum Town | Premium | 05/23/2021
[00:00:00] You got a brush of cat you got a brush the motherfucking cat you gotta get you got a brush to push
[00:00:06] Baby girl come over. I got a brush for the office child. I'm in the brushing bitches
[00:00:13] That price you know what I wouldn't if somebody had enough pubic hair
[00:00:17] I would probably feel calming to brush their pussy here on some Rapunzel shit exactly braided
[00:00:22] Braid it hold on to what you fuck it'd be funny to fuck like a black girl with like a hairy pussy and you're like
[00:00:29] Very delicately like holding her legs and putting your dick in as slow as possible. And she's like, what are you doing?
[00:00:40] I'm sorry. Yeah, I've been yelled at before. Yeah
[00:00:43] I'm doing my best to not touch her hair
[00:00:53] Eating eating eating eating pussy like you're trying snail for the first time
[00:01:01] Why are you doing that I don't want to get canceled
[00:01:04] I don't want to wet your hair. I don't want to close my eyes
[00:01:11] I don't want to fall asleep because I'll be raped by gays
[00:01:19] I don't want to get raped by gays. I don't want to come in my mouth
[00:01:25] It's not getting in my surprise directors cut
[00:01:29] I'm again. I'm again Bruce Willis rapes Ben Affleck in says
[00:01:41] That would be interesting let's say an astronaut
[00:01:50] But when you come down would you be prosecuted for your crimes
[00:01:53] Yeah, you think so yeah, I'm not sure I don't really know how it works
[00:01:59] Because it seems like you would have a case at least that movie so stupid Armageddon
[00:02:04] Yeah, cuz it's like so there's an asteroid headed towards earth, right? Yes, and they need drillers and so
[00:02:13] They need drillers to go to the asteroid. Yeah
[00:02:17] Yeah, explain the fall with the movie I
[00:02:23] No to fly the plane. No, that's the obvious. That's the thing. That's the Ben Affleck DVD extrude
[00:02:29] It's also the thing that people have said a billion times. Yeah, so on this show
[00:02:34] We try to find a different taking a unique spin. We're trying to take a unique story. Do you guys I was instead of jumping in?
[00:02:40] Layback instead of ruining the derailment joke by mentioning the first thing
[00:02:46] No, I you could have ignored the driller part. You know just continue the no not after five years
[00:03:02] I don't think that I could at this point I don't
[00:03:07] And I am capable not even I was gonna try and figure out a way where it's like, you know when
[00:03:13] It ends somewhere where the logical thing to do is to divert the asteroid to Israel
[00:03:19] To nuke it to do Israel. Yeah, that would have solved a lot of problems
[00:03:24] But you would have killed a lot of house
[00:03:26] Well, if you were if you had pinpoint accuracy, I did but there's boy we tell them go all get down in the tunnel
[00:03:31] She's good at Tel Aviv. Yeah, the tunnels go they blew up the
[00:03:34] The Jews I don't know. Yeah, I think that's what I don't think it's on the flag. I would say the Israelis the Jews
[00:03:44] Yeah, they fuck they blew up the AP building and then these motherfuckers have the audacity to go on
[00:03:53] Social media and say that somebody else controls the media
[00:04:02] Mm-hmm. That is true. Do you think that they'd be like?
[00:04:07] All right guys, you think you think they're like, sorry guys. It's good. We're gonna have to say that's like ourselves
[00:04:12] You know, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna have the that's that's we're gonna have to throw people off the trail
[00:04:18] Yeah, I know we hired all of you and we send you an email to say what to put in the newspaper every day
[00:04:25] But you got to get it you got 30 minutes get all your stuff and get out of here
[00:04:29] They and they they hit alge zero two, which is also Jewish secretly
[00:04:34] Yeah, it's been funny watching people online try to scramble to call everything anti-Semitism thing
[00:04:41] It is it's so nice that doesn't it's finally done. It's done. They got so much out of that and now it's
[00:04:48] They had a great run though to be fair. Yeah, but 60 years of anti-Semitism. No calling everything anti-Semitism
[00:04:55] Doing the UNO reverse. Oh, yeah, I I don't know why it worked for so long. This is the Holocaust
[00:05:04] Yeah, and we've all forgotten also a little something about the media. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I guess I don't know
[00:05:10] You why don't you tell us? I don't know
[00:05:15] Because you're pretending you don't know why yeah exactly that's it's like me what what I'm saying right now is like bombing the AP
[00:05:22] Exactly. Yeah, you know exactly correct. That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to bomb the WAP
[00:05:28] So the way that's pussy. Mm-hmm. Nice the wet associated press. Yeah, I'm trying to associate it
[00:05:36] I need some and by the way, it's wet because somebody's really stall over it. It's really a community college degree
[00:05:43] Trying to get some I would love that. I would love some community college wife Anglo Saxon pussy
[00:05:49] Mm-hmm. No, I miss me with that what Anglo Saxon really? Yeah, I'm done. You don't want to do a sample
[00:05:59] You don't want the sizzler sample. I've had enough of that. Yeah, they don't come it's time to cut
[00:06:07] I need more I need more variety. What's what's the variety one of the kickboxing types of Asians? Sure?
[00:06:14] That'd be awesome kind of an on the box. I would love to fucking unboxed out bitch. I would love I would love to get my big kickbox
[00:06:26] Dude that was awesome, I'd never seen the raid to oh, what are you doing? I watched the raid one
[00:06:35] Also heard that he's frayed to kiss a girl
[00:06:39] Dude, I heard it. Yeah, yeah, I missed a lot then. Mm-hmm. I thought it was about kicking out kicking asses
[00:06:47] No, it is but you're afraid to kiss a girl. No, that's I thought you said the movie was never
[00:06:53] No, no, you are I'm not afraid to kiss a girl. You are dude. No, I'm afraid of certain ramifications after I kiss the girl
[00:07:01] And then you want to have sex afterwards
[00:07:10] Afraid of the fallout from using a woman. I would love it. I would love to see I would I can't wait until I don't know
[00:07:17] It'll happen, but I would love to see a cancellation for somebody not getting their dick hard. Yeah
[00:07:23] That's the day we're taking to the street
[00:07:28] Bro, you will see me stop Rosalcius dropped by manager
[00:07:32] After several girls come forward saying they went through his apartment and his dick
[00:07:38] And he had to suck their tits and beat off
[00:07:45] I apologize, I'm an incredibly unhealthy man
[00:07:50] I have burned it out with way too many dick pills over the years and
[00:07:54] And unfortunately, I guess the old way of doing things eating pussy until a woman bust and then having her kiss your neck
[00:08:03] While you beat off and then maybe they suck your dick a little bit
[00:08:06] And then you stretch yourself and then you halfheartedly try and put it back in but you know, it's not in your heart
[00:08:11] It's not gonna work until eventually you just say hey want to watch chopped. I
[00:08:16] Know that that's wrong now, and I'm going to change
[00:08:23] But you know what I'm not gonna do that
[00:08:36] Comedians I've seen him around I don't know what you know, I can't yeah, if you excuse me, I have to go get my dick hard
[00:08:48] I will be I will be at Starbucks fully around
[00:08:50] In line waiting to buy the new John legend CD
[00:08:59] I'm honestly if that happens, I'm gonna come out. I'm gonna be so anti-cancel culture right I went to the bean
[00:09:05] Last night I have to I'm gonna have to get a the piss yeah, and I guess right bathroom
[00:09:10] Well that place has been shut down for you know all the pandemic
[00:09:13] So the one in mid-town there's a bunch of million beans now you're thinking of the coffee, but nay
[00:09:21] Yeah, that's right. We just Korean coffee. I love that shit. Yeah, dude Korean spots with I love Korean
[00:09:27] I went to the bean they've been closed forever. I did I like to imagine it's the first night open
[00:09:33] Mm-hmm already the usual clientele is in there three middle-aged trans women and then a homeless guy with an 800 pound think pad
[00:09:44] And there's like a specific type of homeless
[00:09:47] Of course, it's but it's like a guy that went homeless in like 1999. Mm-hmm. So he's got kind of he's got like the goatee
[00:09:55] He's stuck in the time that he had a home. Yeah
[00:09:57] That's how it works there was a guy who just hang out on like the Delancy Allen like Starbucks that was homeless
[00:10:03] Mm-hmm and it'd be like constantly just have like a wire in his eat like you'd be having fake phone conversations
[00:10:08] And he would always be going off about like Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz
[00:10:18] He's in case you found some illness amber right 2004
[00:10:26] Yeah, that's a nice type of homeless guy the guy who has his Lenovo and who like showers a planet fitness
[00:10:32] Mm-hmm and just fucking has a place he sleeps two nights a week right writing notes take a bunch of documents in Microsoft node pad
[00:10:48] Damn, are you boys been enjoying this nice weather huh?
[00:10:51] Well, I've been walking around love walking with the bare mountain twice last week
[00:10:57] It's been a tough. I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I can't be outside for that
[00:11:02] We're having a good mood. Nick is telling you he went to the mountain where big burly gay guys fuck him in the ass
[00:11:07] And you can't be happy for him. Yeah, and what were their names the bears Chuck and Larry
[00:11:15] That's who they based the movie on in time
[00:11:20] Rodentide would be a great gay couple that fucks on a little guy's name
[00:11:24] That's got a big happening on the Simpsons now. That's what the daughter or gay with each other now
[00:11:33] I'm a okay, Italy for diddly with it with Italy didily didily didily
[00:11:41] The character wouldn't kill himself and his children were gay that's for sure no
[00:11:46] We've decided to use the Christian character to
[00:11:51] Do a completely humorless episode and show even that a fictional parody of a Christian can come around on the idea of
[00:11:59] Homosexuality because that's who was consuming Ned Flanders was evangelical Christians
[00:12:06] Because we're so brain dead from the idea of representation
[00:12:09] We've diluted ourselves into thinking that fundamentalist Christians were watching the show for Ned Flanders
[00:12:16] They're watching the Simpsons now. Yeah, it's 25 years after
[00:12:20] God damn dude. Yeah, I'll watch that show mainly for the that Ned Flanders fella
[00:12:27] He he represents my values the rest of the show. I don't really
[00:12:32] Can't I agree with it much but that Ned Flanders fella
[00:12:37] And when they did the recent when they did the teachable moment episode where Ned Flanders is okay with his sons rod and Todd
[00:12:49] The ass and beak in New York and making a quick drive over to Bear Mountain to fuck fuck people in their bare ass
[00:12:56] In broad daylight. I thought maybe I was wrong bring my gun to Starbucks
[00:13:05] Thank you, Simpsons. Thank you the Simpsons for teaching me an important lesson that I don't have to abandon my Christian faith
[00:13:16] Elements of my political and religious beliefs over the last 30 years
[00:13:20] Which is that people that fuck a certain way or worse than me and that way I don't have to think about what's wrong with my life
[00:13:36] I should I'm gonna watch the next episode next week. You should man. Oh, we should we should we should peek in the way
[00:13:44] We did with modern SVU that was fun when we watched
[00:13:46] I think it was a lot more depressing than modern SVU. Yeah, because we don't care about SVU
[00:13:52] Yes, few means nothing to us. Yeah, and it's
[00:13:59] They're all old now like the Homer sounds like Joe Biden
[00:14:07] Grandpa died from Corona my roommate. Why are you little? Yeah?
[00:14:12] Wow my roommate was watching the the bowling ball episode the bowling ball episode
[00:14:19] You know the one where Homer gets Marj a bowling ball for a birthday exactly. Yeah, guess what I guess how old March was
[00:14:27] 32 it was 32. Yeah, it's fucking forget that I'm the Simpsons trivia
[00:14:33] All right was a regular 32 year old well Adam you must have had this crisis already since you're 62
[00:14:39] Two years ago. Yeah, yeah now that I'm in my 34th
[00:14:43] I look back fondly on your son. You are such a loser, dude
[00:14:47] I know I said this when you were 32 and I accept now that I'm a loser. You're cut
[00:14:51] You're gonna be my age. Yeah, but not for two years
[00:14:55] No, no less than you're gonna be 30 you guys and how gay that's gonna be when I was 36 years
[00:15:00] There's gonna be a time where we're in our 30s and you're 40 bitch
[00:15:13] It's embarrassing I was 27 when this show
[00:15:17] 27's oh Jesus Christ it was Wow Adam was almost 30 when this show started
[00:15:22] Almost 30 even 32 years old my 20s me you were 26. I was 27. You know what I found out 27 is the best age
[00:15:30] Dude, that's the like assistant manager. You finally assistant manager a blockbuster. Mm-hmm. You're fucking the 16 year old
[00:15:41] Yeah, the age of Kings the age of Kings, you know all the guys at the mall food core you get extra free samples of Sarku
[00:15:49] Yeah, my name's Scott. I drive a 1990 Integra and I fuck a child
[00:15:56] The assistant manager a blockbuster I make $27,000 a year and 27 years old
[00:16:02] That's right brother. I live in a I live in an apartment complex. It looks like very shitty dorms. Mm-hmm
[00:16:09] And I never went to college. I've got seven roommates. I don't talk to I just see them when I have house parties
[00:16:14] They come out of their room the door opens there's a mattress on the floor one of those boom boxes only day laborers buy it by
[00:16:26] Stack all have our own one of those in our room stack a high-times magazine
[00:16:33] Fuck dude, what was your first like purchase when you had your own apartment? We were like hell yeah, bro
[00:16:44] A television made me feel real grown up a flat screen TV. I found a recording of the band clutch doing zoom shows during the pandemic
[00:16:52] Hell yeah, it's very funny. What the fuck is clutch? What's their song?
[00:16:58] They're like no they suck okay ghost is the one that comes to mind
[00:17:09] Yeah, I'm a ghost of George Washington. I'm taking my teeth out and sucking your dad
[00:17:18] I'm taking my wooden teeth out you can pull
[00:17:23] Hey, you can pull my phones in the other room cool
[00:17:26] I wish I had the video. What do you mean? I was just singing it perfectly. Yeah, I wish I had the fucking video
[00:17:34] I'm a fucking ghost with a little fucking penis. It's ghost
[00:17:48] Ghost but they're they're like a they're like a Maryland band that has no yeah
[00:18:09] But I mean whatever about this was their big song I sent it to that group thread we're in which one and then one me and you were in
[00:18:40] But anyway, so the lot of shit sucks but the zoom does
[00:18:47] What you said it and it sent very small. That's why I couldn't watch. Oh, it's not your dick size
[00:18:52] Yeah, like the video is like a thumbnail. Okay. Well, we'll open it for real. I'm trying to clean it over motherfucker
[00:19:00] Hold those at least hold the thing up there. Just put it hand the phone over and stop just plug it
[00:19:05] We're doing a show. This is a lot. This is a fucking show at a saying. We come on dude. Plug it plug it into my cell
[00:19:12] Mm-hmm here. Here motherfucker. You do what the fuck do I look like?
[00:19:15] Yeah, I guess the whole time I've been thinking about like zoom comedy shows which I thought were already like pretty depressing
[00:19:21] Of course, but if there's got to be every other type of thing you can do this
[00:19:30] I can't stop the video. I can't watch the video
[00:19:55] It's like they're trying to sound almost sort of medieval or he's putting on some like, I don't know that shit makes that that sound
[00:20:07] Oh my god, no, that's so much worse. He's so much fucking ugly
[00:20:17] Yeah, because it's like I guess it's a regular guy
[00:20:20] I know but like performing the nobody in a house with the maryland flag
[00:20:30] Anyways, yes, I thought that was really good. Mm-hmm. I'm fucking great. Mm-hmm. And my pain is my whole
[00:20:39] It's like it's like they're trying to be chris Cornell mixed with like, I don't know who
[00:20:44] It's really fucking dog shit. Yeah, most music is bad. That's true. I really just you got to listen to
[00:20:54] Taylor swift. Yeah, dude. I'm a swifty. I would like to get my dick sucked very swiftly. I'll tell you that much
[00:21:01] Yeah, I'm saying me too. I love a nice. I love a nice two suck surprise two suck surprise
[00:21:15] Inspector gadget coming up to you and then like out of the trench coat like like
[00:21:22] Like a fleshlight comes out and it just sucks your dick real quick
[00:21:25] Yeah, you're like what the hell and he's like I got the evidence sperm sample obtained and then the helicopter goes up
[00:21:40] Like all the regular police. Yeah, it's not a crime. He's a robot. Yeah, sorry man
[00:21:44] There's nothing we could do. He's one of our crime robots. Yeah, you can rape robots
[00:22:00] Out of the three of us you look the most like it's huge dress
[00:22:03] I can specter you're wearing it. You're wearing a trench coat right now
[00:22:06] And there's a there's a ladle coming out of your ass that you're pretending is a gadget. All right. All right. Yes, you can
[00:22:12] I know I'll miss something you guys and are in our friends that are listening. Yeah
[00:22:17] Our friend what do you have to say to other last couple days? I've been looking in the mirror and not liking my reflect
[00:22:26] Why dude I just think I've been having an ugly look a couple days because you're 34 years
[00:22:30] Because you're because you're a geriatric millennial. Why are you calling me old right now because you are dude
[00:22:36] You just listen we have to be we have to face our down. No, it's fine
[00:22:40] I'm art Adam's a Jerry Sandusky Melan. No, I would I'm not athletic
[00:22:47] He wasn't athletic. He just had a mind for the game and a patters for a boy's asshole 15 years
[00:22:53] Slam dunking his penis into children's assholes
[00:23:01] Dude, how about the best part is athleticism
[00:23:05] To completely destroy the assholes and lives of children
[00:23:09] The best part is you remember the sports caster in maryland. He was on like fox 45 named jerry sandusky
[00:23:21] What was the story and so it was sandusky was doing the molesting or sandusky was overseeing no no no no
[00:23:32] Blind eye to it because he was so good. I was flicking up. I couldn't remember a paterno was doing the molesting
[00:23:37] On the staff at since then sandusky was ignoring it was defensive coordinator wasn't he
[00:23:45] He's a thing neither of those neither of those has molesting children in the job description. That's true. Yeah, so it doesn't matter
[00:23:53] It doesn't matter who was supervising who
[00:23:56] It a little bit matters. I think it would be a little worse if the absolute boss was doing it
[00:24:01] Mm. Joe pov. Joe pov was doing it. The tony soprano exactly. He was with sylvia. This is more sylvia molesting children
[00:24:09] Mm-hmm. This is good the fuck good start. I love it. I love a boy's penis tone. Well one hand
[00:24:20] Tone I seen sylvia. Oh having sex with a boy tone
[00:24:25] The fuck you say what the fuck is your problem christopher?
[00:24:39] You'll feel big tone speaking of old i'm not using this as any justification for my
[00:24:46] Arrested development in my own life, but I found out recently that blink 182
[00:24:50] How about out of his arrested for development and he's developing photographs of children
[00:24:58] All right, naked children that's it just
[00:25:03] Really? Yeah, they were all in their 30s that whole time when they're making baby. Are you serious? Yeah, not only that
[00:25:08] I mean, not only is not only is blink 182 old but also in Armageddon
[00:25:13] Uh, they should have hired astronauts and taught them how to drill. Yeah
[00:25:17] Ben has those are those kind of observations go hand-in-hand. I didn't well you knew that they were in their 30s
[00:25:22] Yeah, everyone did what do you honestly didn't to be fair? I did not know they're out there all like 21 years old
[00:25:27] It feels like you should know that because you like gay shit like that. Yeah, I liked it when I was 13 years old
[00:25:32] I still like it. My dick is small. Yeah, like in that
[00:25:39] I have no balls when they made adam's song a song about not being too sad
[00:25:44] So gay you had to kill yourself. Yeah, they're like this is dedicated to Adam. This one Adam Friedland should do that
[00:25:56] Well, it's actually that's a song about that's a song about a guy that
[00:26:00] Moved into a cheaper apartment during the pandemic. What's that? Actually?
[00:26:05] So the mom is like what you know, why are you moving out? And he's like, well, I can save $25
[00:26:10] I can save a little more on rent. I can save a little I get a bigger place in bushwick. Mm-hmm
[00:26:15] I can't get hard. Adam's my dick is small. It's a very funny song
[00:26:21] It is because it's clearly not about anyone that they knew that they killed themselves
[00:26:25] It was about a fan named adam that killed himself. Yeah, did he for us? Yeah
[00:26:29] It's like this thing that has no emotional. Yeah. Yeah
[00:26:35] How would somebody kill themselves? Let's see they they kill themselves a family fucking puts like chains and shit all over the door
[00:26:44] There's a there's a it's also to like what extent was blink 182 a major aspect of his life
[00:26:54] Um, there's a music video they had I'm gonna find it right now
[00:26:56] What is it called? Well, it's called stay together for the kids. Mm-hmm. It's like an anti divorce
[00:27:07] But there's like a there's a cry on that comes on before the music video starts
[00:27:13] But it's so fun. I forgot what it said specifically. I'm gonna find it
[00:27:19] Because a lot of times girls cry on your penis. Okay. All right, so little
[00:27:23] Yeah, it starts with a just a cry on that says 50% of American households are destroyed by divorce
[00:27:40] What are they trying to do like stop divorces by doing pop pop pop pump?
[00:27:46] Pro jam in the night hop talk pro jam in the 90s like made that a whole thing where you could just have like there was all this music that was like
[00:27:56] You know, it's like a lot of people can relate to that.
[00:28:02] I feel like that is a genre of just like picking a tragedy or like a...
[00:28:06] But a very like middle class suburban tragedy.
[00:28:09] You know, it's like my dad would have one extra beer after he got home from work.
[00:28:13] The comments on YouTube are so funny for the song.
[00:28:17] This song hits hard, especially now that I am an adult.
[00:28:21] The lyrics make so much more sense than it did when I was a kid.
[00:28:24] It's like not that confusing of a song.
[00:28:40] 50% of American households are destroyed by the boys.
[00:28:54] Oh yeah, and the music videos are wrecking ball.
[00:28:57] Which is a metaphor for how divorce destroys households.
[00:29:18] Right there is a state that the words are falling away.
[00:29:54] The only good of fortune out of that entire area is Andrew WK.
[00:30:06] There's some of the biggest yum yums in the universe.
[00:30:12] It's not only time to get into your wife with big tits.
[00:30:16] That's the party I hope to one day be at every night.
[00:30:39] Well, sooner than not, I'll be microwaving my chicken breast.
[00:30:42] Yeah, we'll be back with comedian Howard G.
[00:30:58] Andrew WK will be at Rams head line this weekend.
[00:31:30] I was sincere when I said the only good music.
[00:31:44] We're having a super spreader event in Puscalusa.
[00:31:54] We're having a super spreader event in Puscalusa.
[00:32:03] Time to count the votes they rigged the election in Arizona.
[00:32:12] Trump just blasting these in Mar-a-Lago.
[00:32:33] We don't want to get sued by Andrew fucking Homo.
[00:32:45] Oh, mister, I don't care about your fucking rules.
[00:32:48] Now all of a sudden copyright infringement is a fucking problem?
[00:32:53] Yeah, I got something very intellectual for you.
[00:32:57] I'm going to put a little graduate cap on my balls.
[00:33:06] Get your fucking hands off my peanut M&M's.
[00:33:13] And if anybody tries to take it from me, I'm swinging.
[00:33:18] A guy with Down syndrome hanging himself with nerds rope because there's no cure.
[00:33:22] It just doesn't look like they're going to figure it out.
[00:33:42] I was like, scooter, what are you doing up by the ceiling?
[00:33:51] It's time to get your other mentally disabled brother to chew through the room.
[00:34:00] I really shouldn't have gotten pussy in that nuclear facility.
[00:34:10] I pull my gum in the microwave before blasting it inside my wife because I thought I was going
[00:34:34] Yeah, I was really hoping to be super fast after I put that shoot.
[00:34:40] And I put it on defrost too, so it wouldn't get too hot.
[00:34:53] I was dabbled very lightly in Blink 182, but I went right from...
[00:34:59] People don't like Andrew WK because you're associated with waiting for video games to load.
[00:35:31] I went right from basically 50 cent to my classic rock phase, so I didn't have too much of a stop over in...
[00:35:51] I had a little bit of a dalings with HFS.
[00:35:58] It was like Call of Rock, alternative rock.
[00:36:06] I wonder what those guys are up to these days.
[00:36:08] Yeah, I remember when overnight they just switched it to like a fucking...
[00:36:14] Because there was a lot of Rhaigaton stations popping up, but then like HFS was like...
[00:36:18] Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
[00:36:25] Yeah, just like, you know, fucking restaurant music.
[00:36:28] Like waiting for the waiter to come over and eating too many chips and so on.
[00:36:33] And I remember they interviewed people on, I think it was Fox 45.
[00:36:36] And it was just like, you know, every white person like, what the hell?
[00:36:40] And then they just interviewed all the listeners like, it's great.
[00:36:48] And it's like these motherfuckers listen to the radio way more than fucking...
[00:36:50] I was devastated though because that was right.
[00:36:53] My after school thing that I would do was throw on HFS and play Madden or FIFA.
[00:37:07] That's what people did in like the 1920s.
[00:37:12] I had one of those like, not the boombox you're describing but the step up where it's like
[00:37:18] Remember where it's just like multiple speakers.
[00:37:23] And I would listen to fucking CDs and tapes.
[00:37:25] I mean, I had an alarm clock that had a radio in it but I don't think I ever want to use
[00:37:31] Well, it was just like, I just fucking listened to HFS in my fucking room and played video
[00:37:40] I think I was a sophomore in high school.
[00:37:42] I would just listen to over and over again.
[00:38:09] come. All right, this song goes out to Gaza. Shatsat the Gaza free free
[00:38:13] you free Palestine death is real. It's not anti semitic. It's not
[00:38:17] about the state. Yeah, it's about the state has no right to exist. The
[00:38:23] people can when we say kill all Jews, we mean it the same way that
[00:38:26] puns say kill all men. So whatever their justification is
[00:38:31] kind of the same thing. I forget what they said about it. But
[00:38:34] people seem to accept people seem to think it's cool.
[00:38:36] My big. Yeah, in a little bit of metal of course was in the mix.
[00:38:50] Madam Malaysia. Why don't you play some gets into a little bit
[00:39:23] That's beginning my big. That's what I sound like. Very funny
[00:39:33] Well, this was produced by Swiss for meaning of pain the way I
[00:39:44] I believe for the fairway home biggest point.
[00:39:51] I believe that that was produced by Rick. It was it. Yeah, that's
[00:39:55] awesome. He produced everything back then. He was on a hot
[00:39:58] street. He produced the day of the laughter. It's a very
[00:40:01] my favorite comedy. That's like that's a death in particular is
[00:40:05] like it's like that's a risky song for them to make. You know,
[00:40:09] that's the one they just all about Satan, right? No, Angela
[00:40:17] Wow. Well, the first line of the song is Auschwitz, the meaning
[00:40:21] of pain the way that I want you to die. Well, Rick Rubin was there.
[00:40:24] So probably cos maybe they had had a rough day with him.
[00:40:28] Maybe he's a little bit annoying about his lunch order.
[00:40:32] Yeah. They're like, you know what, Rick? Why don't you knock off
[00:40:36] early for the day we're going to record a little song. Come back
[00:40:39] early tomorrow. I think you're really going to like what we
[00:40:42] recorded. Huntington Park, California's own slayer. That's
[00:40:47] awesome. That's where it comes from. I love remembering the
[00:40:51] songs. Isn't that where Tito where Teases from to Huntington
[00:40:54] or is he from Huntington Beach? Is that different? Maybe
[00:40:56] Huntington Beach? What was the first one? Same place. What was
[00:40:59] the other one? Buntington Cheech? Yeah, Buntington
[00:41:01] Change. Yeah, I think that's a different place. Let's should
[00:41:05] we pick it up? Should we pick what up? I mean, like get back
[00:41:12] into a party mood. Oh, another song for us. Do you have another
[00:41:16] song? Let's do it. Let's let's do a riff real quick. All right,
[00:41:19] let's do a riff. Yeah, let's do a riff. We'll do a riff and
[00:41:24] then we're going to be back with comedian Subway Jared folk.
[00:41:29] And he's going to tell us about we got him zooming in from from
[00:41:33] from Sing Sing. That's about how good it was to fuck a child
[00:41:37] serving federal child pornography of a 10 year sentence. And we're
[00:41:42] going to ask him, you know, are you getting the vaccine? Yeah,
[00:41:47] by the way, Bill Gates, speaking of celebrity pedophiles,
[00:41:50] he was getting posted. There was a way there was a way there's
[00:41:53] like more Epstein Bill Gates stuff popping soon. Yeah, I feel
[00:41:57] like all of that's just his whatever Melinda's just like going
[00:42:00] to slow drip all this shit until she gets whatever
[00:42:03] was held the worst. It would be really tight if Bill Gates ended
[00:42:06] up literally penniless. That would be so that Melinda Gates
[00:42:10] got everything. Yep, just changed it to the Melinda Gates
[00:42:13] Foundation. Yeah, what's her name again? Belinda Chates.
[00:42:16] There's that a different person. That's a different that's
[00:42:20] that's a bullet the James you know, Melinda and he was getting
[00:42:26] pussy at Microsoft. Yeah, he was some nerds T or T's would show
[00:42:31] up to Microsoft kicking the door down and fucking give me some
[00:42:37] He did his strut out in Washington and he went to Washington, he
[00:42:41] went to the headquarters outside of Seattle. I think Tacoma
[00:42:44] Redmond Redmond. I went there once. What to do a show? I
[00:42:49] was in Seattle and I just went to Tito or teases is
[00:42:52] access to Ortiz is Spanish for trick or treat. Yeah, it's
[00:42:56] like a hollering thing. You would knock on the door. You get a
[00:42:59] tortilla or you get a big hollah shit. Tito or Tito or
[00:43:03] T's and they're like, yeah, and you hope for Tito, but
[00:43:06] sometimes you get a little bit stressed. I'll go
[00:43:12] Didn't Tito used to fuck James James? Yes, they were married.
[00:43:15] They were married. And I think I think Jenna James is
[00:43:18] your own business. I think she is a sign. She converted to
[00:43:22] Judas. She looks scared. Yeah, you're gonna be nice. Yeah,
[00:43:25] you're gonna be like 20 2021 pictures of Jenna James. And I
[00:43:31] feel like it's like an ex girlfriend that had no, yeah, I
[00:43:33] was like, Oh, she's not doing well. I kind of won that break
[00:43:36] off. One that I kind of beating off to her three years ago.
[00:43:40] Oh, man, she was she was the best one at a certain point.
[00:43:44] She certainly she was the number one. She really was
[00:43:47] famous off of getting of being in porn in a way that's I think
[00:43:50] it's impossible to happen now. Yeah, like me a califa sort of
[00:43:54] was but I was more because of the controversy where thing is
[00:43:58] you feel bad for someone like that, but you could just start a
[00:44:00] true crime podcast. Yeah, just pay somebody a hundred bucks a
[00:44:04] week to pick a crime. Yep. And then, when every this is hold
[00:44:08] the bait in the podcasting world about who's drifting,
[00:44:11] right? The communists or the Nazis, right? Yeah, who are the
[00:44:15] real the real grifters of the true crime people? Yeah, they
[00:44:17] really dodged a bullet and all this 100%. All you have to do
[00:44:20] is be like, there was a there was a spooky story. Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:25] And I was gonna read the Wikipedia. Ohio there they thought a
[00:44:29] guy was a vampire. But actually, it was a child molester. There's
[00:44:33] an hour on that. And we were like, I really like true crime
[00:44:37] stuff. It's scary. It's I love I love the way it. I love the
[00:44:43] way there's there's there's music in the background that tells me
[00:44:47] how to feel. Yeah, fucking idiots. Yeah, you produced that
[00:44:50] show. Yeah, real podcast. No, real song real.
[00:44:55] Place. Place. Place. Place. You're a sense of comedic timing.
[00:45:02] I love that. The way is to achieve the Holocaust is kind of like
[00:45:25] Like a little Holocaust, the Holocaust achieved.
[00:45:28] Yeah, it comes at the bottom of your box.
[00:45:37] All this song does turn us off. Is it makes mangalese seem
[00:45:42] cool? Of course. I don't know about that. No, it does. It
[00:45:46] makes them seem scary. It makes them seem cooler. Imagine
[00:45:49] yet. Imagine you show up before you listen to that song.
[00:45:52] After you think he's cooler than you did before. Imagine you're
[00:45:55] showing up to Auschwitz, right? And then it's like what like
[00:45:59] you're depressed, you know, you're going to be gas and fucking
[00:46:02] Adrian Brody's playing some bullshit piano music. Yeah. And
[00:46:05] then there's one hut just blasting fucking just like you
[00:46:10] know, and you're like, what's going on over there? Right. And
[00:46:13] this guy's like, let me drill a hole in your skull and pop
[00:46:16] water on your brain. Yeah. And you're like, sure.
[00:46:20] I mean, I'm trying to be mad. I agree, dude. That would be
[00:46:23] exactly how it would be cool. He was really into twins.
[00:46:28] I try to be cool like mangalese. And twins. Yeah, he was
[00:46:31] really into the like mangalese. What would you do? Love he
[00:46:34] wrote the whole Holocaust from Argentina. You got two chicks
[00:46:38] at the same time. What would you do if you had six million Jews
[00:46:45] Dr. mangalese? Well, I would do experiments on two twins to
[00:46:49] chicks at the same time. I would fuck with their brains to unlock
[00:46:52] the dick sucking gene. And then I would supercharge that and
[00:46:56] a pair of big titted twins. If that's what he was doing, if
[00:47:00] that was when he was trying to figure out. Yeah, I don't
[00:47:02] agree with his methods. I don't agree with the people he was
[00:47:04] aligned with. But I respect I respect the scientific aims. And
[00:47:10] what he was ultimately trying to achieve. This is what trying
[00:47:14] to unlock dick sucked to try to unlock the dick sucking. I
[00:47:17] I'm just saying if cleatice is doing experiments on twins
[00:47:28] Oh, don't tell people what I'm doing tomorrow. It's a he's an
[00:47:41] People don't respect you because you're fat. Oh, that's not
[00:47:43] says people don't respect me because I do racist experiments on
[00:47:46] twins. I feel like I'll never outlive my legacy of being a
[00:47:53] Trying to get my name. That's why they call him the nuttiest.
[00:47:57] He's trying to get his accent. Yeah. Now, mangalese, the bus
[00:48:02] the professor was he one of the guys that got to be a NASA.
[00:48:05] No, that was Werner von Braun. It would be very funny if they
[00:48:09] operation paperclip. We need the knowledge. He was a bad guy
[00:48:19] with science. They brought Albert Spear over the Disney
[00:48:24] world. Design. He designed the Epcot Center. The buildings
[00:48:30] were too good. Yeah, dude, I'm just wondering. I'm just asking
[00:48:33] questions, dude. Yeah, it's good to ask questions. That's what
[00:48:36] they wouldn't want you to do a Nazi German exactly. Here's a
[00:48:38] question. How do we know the vaccines aren't killing more
[00:48:40] people? That's right. Slayer. Like the Yankees all got
[00:48:45] vaccinated. Now they're all dead from Corona. Basically,
[00:48:48] that's fucked up. No, no one wants to ask questions. This new
[00:48:52] does CDC lady they got? Oh, they got a chick? Well, yeah,
[00:48:57] because she got asked on MSNBC. If any breakthrough cases
[00:49:00] have resulted in death like people that got vaccinated and
[00:49:03] then died. And then she's like, yes, like some 225 people have
[00:49:07] died, even though they're fully vaccinated. But she's like,
[00:49:10] but it's important. And it's like, just don't say this part.
[00:49:13] Yeah, there's no reason. But she's like, but it's important to
[00:49:15] understand that just because someone dies with COVID doesn't
[00:49:17] mean they died from COVID. Oh, that's like, okay, well, I'm
[00:49:22] charler. Is that old motherfuckers? What? Who died, dude?
[00:49:26] They said fat Greek guys. What? Small dick. Oh, what about
[00:49:33] That's a big barely aren't small. It's a photo finish barely
[00:49:39] gets a medium. It's just a black and white photo. You're
[00:49:42] crossing the five inch line. Just a small
[00:49:48] big with a little scarf in the bottle of champagne.
[00:49:57] What about the lower threshold of medium Greek guys? Are they
[00:50:01] all right? Bob Bob Bob. I want to suck dick and pussy tonight.
[00:50:11] I feel like we've been listening to much nasty music. That
[00:50:14] was Metallica. That was Metallica. I know I'm just saying,
[00:50:18] that's looking for you gonna suck your cock. I'm gonna suck
[00:50:24] Damn it. Sucking the cock because I'm gay.
[00:50:32] Very good. Thanks. Master of penis. Master of penis.
[00:50:42] Yeah. Sucking. We don't really get into metal much on no
[00:50:45] this is some it's metal Monday around here. I feel like this
[00:50:49] on parity is kind of peaked with tequila. Yeah, nothing
[00:50:52] really be said. Yeah, 14 minute intro. My penis.
[00:51:01] That's the cleanest one of all time. Because it's the whole
[00:51:05] song. The whole song. I've replaced every lyric. It's a
[00:51:09] complete parody. There's not a single it's a 100% won the one
[00:51:14] parody every word beautiful. Yeah, it's like almost like Heming
[00:51:18] Way's fucking baby shoes. Feel the calm or baby shoe for sale.
[00:51:23] A little gas that baby shoes. $500. If I remember correctly,
[00:51:30] that's how the that's how the saddest story in the world.
[00:51:40] Oh, fuck. For sale. Adam's pee. And that's just what it
[00:51:46] never sucked. A story about a miscarriage. I guess or some
[00:51:50] some other kind of dead baby. Yeah. Well, it never wore the
[00:51:54] shoes. Well, you don't wear shoes. Maybe you're born a
[00:51:57] Japanese baby that never left the house. Yeah, baby's a walk,
[00:52:02] you know, you don't put shoes on a baby for quite some time.
[00:52:05] Yeah. So it could be a miscarriage. You could be like a
[00:52:07] dead three months. Oh, it's just a story about a handicap
[00:52:10] person could be or yeah, exactly. That's the saddest thing
[00:52:14] I think. Yeah, they ask Heming Way is like, no, the baby
[00:52:16] thought the shoes were gay. It's a story about a cool baby
[00:52:22] that hated these gas shoes. Oh, I didn't even consider the dead
[00:52:27] baby angle. I'm sorry. I was busy thinking about the war.
[00:52:32] I was busy thinking about how my wife was getting pussy in
[00:52:36] Africa from now. I love that story, dude. Yeah, that one's a
[00:52:39] great that's a great short story. Yeah, dude. Maybe I should
[00:52:45] read more started reading the book about the Showtime Lakers.
[00:52:49] Oh, yeah, I picked this guy back up. I was reading this all
[00:52:52] morning. Oh, nice. What's that? Don't tell Adam. The
[00:52:56] anarchist cookbook? Yeah, it is. It's how to how to craft a
[00:53:01] legal argument that says if a Jewish person puts on angel of
[00:53:04] death by slayer, no, that means they were asking it was the
[00:53:08] number two most song most played song on Apple Muse. That's
[00:53:12] probably just this week. Yeah. Why? Because we've bounced up the
[00:53:16] rankings because of this week. Gaza, the meaning of pain,
[00:53:24] the way that I want you to die slow death, even slower than
[00:53:27] Auschwitz. 60 years. All right, let's change the vibe of
[00:53:31] a little bit. Yeah, what do you got? Let me play party in the
[00:53:34] USA by Miley Cyrus. I got a better party song. Boys are back
[00:53:37] in town. Yeah, we like to fuck guys. We like to fuck. I love
[00:53:47] I love the train out. Oh, wait, all positive real quick. I don't
[00:53:50] know if I ever told this story on the show. But one time I was
[00:53:54] on like the fucking like like the sixth train was like a packed
[00:53:56] train. Yeah. And there was like a black extremely autistic guy
[00:54:00] with like, you know, like the middle school glasses and like,
[00:54:04] you know, I don't know, like I'm kind of like a Mark Echo. I
[00:54:07] you know, sure, very black autistic, of course. And he had his
[00:54:10] phone out like it's packed. And he has his phone out like this.
[00:54:13] And there's some song he's listening to on his phone at full
[00:54:16] volume. Respect. That's like, it's like an electronic song, but
[00:54:20] it's all lasers and train noises. It's like, to to to to to to
[00:54:29] just like an expression list just just taking in this train
[00:54:34] laser song. And I was like, this is the best thing I've ever
[00:54:37] seen. He's going home to like draw pictures of Goku. Yeah.
[00:54:45] Oh, this is my shit when I was in fourth grade or whatever.
[00:55:04] Oh, it's going off in here right now, folks. I love music
[00:55:08] podcast. We're a solely music podcast. We're basically pitch
[00:55:16] for it. Oh, shit, dude. Oh, ride those levels.
[00:55:21] I wanted to fuck this girl when I was a little kid. What?
[00:55:45] 98 Rock. We play gay shit now. Now we play gay shit.
[00:55:52] Gay shit. DJ Little penis Nick and the Vanga boys will be an
[00:55:58] edge water. The Vanga boys will be at the Rosedale
[00:56:02] Coliseum in Golden Ring Mall. The Vanga boys will be at the
[00:56:07] comedy factor in O'Donnell Heights. Behind the truck.
[00:56:12] What's gonna be it? Fuck. What was that? What was that
[00:56:14] night? We remember they opened a night voltage. They open a
[00:56:17] nightclub in the bus station. They had to close it to
[00:56:20] explainer because eight people got stabbed. I love when
[00:56:26] things get ruined. It was so bug wilds from the jump. I
[00:56:32] believe Mickey shouts out to Mickey had a little hand in
[00:56:35] that. My dick can not get home. What's Mickey doing now? I
[00:56:39] don't know. I saw you had a podcast for a while. He was
[00:56:43] trying to open up a vape shop. I think he's back on the
[00:56:46] radio somewhere. I'm not sure. Is Joe Robinson on the radio?
[00:56:50] I don't know. I know Justin has he's on the morning show, but
[00:56:54] that's all I don't really keep up too much. But I do follow
[00:56:58] Justin on insta. Mm hmm. And Twitter. They should nationally
[00:57:01] syndicate that that whole that radio state 100% 98 Rock should
[00:57:05] be a nationwide without question radio station. And that
[00:57:09] it's you're just forced to listen to it. She buy a radio
[00:57:12] won't change the channels for the first the first year. Yes.
[00:57:17] You need to listen to fucking just pure Baltimore references
[00:57:20] and buck cherry for a year. God damn. You listen to
[00:57:25] volbeat songs. God damn. I want to have a fuck. You
[00:57:33] have what I want to have a fucking morning show. Did you just
[00:57:35] fucking we have a morning? No, we just did a morning. It's 10 a.m.
[00:57:40] Right now, right? We're doing a radio show. This is fun. I'm
[00:57:44] enjoying. That's not funny. That's how funny life is is that
[00:57:47] it's like perpetually dissatisfying. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes
[00:57:50] more successful and easier version of morning. I do that all
[00:57:56] the time. Three a.m. Sometimes I'll be in the morning. I'll be
[00:57:59] having a cigarette in the coffee and I'll be reading and be like,
[00:58:01] Man, I wish I could do this all the time. Yeah. Literally what I
[00:58:06] do every morning. I'm like, What the fuck can I just have this?
[00:58:11] Why can't I have this? And then when you the real feeling
[00:58:15] you're having is like, Why am I not also taking Percocet?
[00:58:18] Well, yeah, that's really the question. Take the percocet. You
[00:58:22] like maybe a little Molly. Oh, it's time to have another one of
[00:58:25] these Percocets yet another drug in me. And then of 17,000
[00:58:30] calorie dinner. Go to outback. Live in brother back
[00:58:34] steakhouse with a woman from Tinder. The barely speaks English.
[00:58:39] She has to point at the menu to order. Yeah. You ever been to
[00:58:44] Australia? I'm like nodding off. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Bris
[00:58:48] Vegas. Yeah. I was in Prince brain. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of I
[00:58:53] was famous. Yeah, for a little bit. The cultural swap. We got the
[00:58:59] crocodile Dundee in America sent over a racist juvenile
[00:59:04] podcast. Yeah. Yeah, it is funny that we're you were making
[00:59:07] fun of Blink 182 when it's like, what is this podcast? If not the
[00:59:11] podcast version of Blink 182? Oh, yeah.
[00:59:14] Haven like 12 year olds. Yeah. Professionally. Yeah. Tom. My
[00:59:22] name is actually Tom the long dick. Yeah, it's a cool name.
[00:59:26] It's not bad. Yeah. He got really into aliens and back pills.
[00:59:32] Tom is actually Latin for do not have. No, it's not. No, it's
[00:59:38] no, it's not at all. It's not at all. Tom is actually book. So
[00:59:43] it's book have a long ass dick or whatever. Something you it's
[00:59:46] something you read about and with no, no, it's what you say. No,
[00:59:50] because you had to read a very large. It's written down. You
[00:59:53] had to read a very very large book about the theory of what it
[00:59:57] would be like to have a large because it's so far. No, my name
[01:00:01] is you don't have a thing. You can't understand it in common
[01:00:08] sense rational times. The long penis is my name. It needs to
[01:00:12] be explained to you. And by the way, the same thing. First of
[01:00:15] all, I would never understand anything easier from a book
[01:00:18] than from talking about it. That's number one. Second of all,
[01:00:21] it's just an old description of book, which means written down,
[01:00:25] which means true. I'm going to start. I'm going to get back on
[01:00:28] Twitter and explain that I've been spending just hour a bit
[01:00:31] up all night reading theory about what it's like to have a big
[01:00:34] day. What is this like? That's a lot of people don't understand
[01:00:38] this is that what AOC says doesn't matter. The only thing that
[01:00:43] matters is that the girth also counts. This is something I
[01:00:50] know doesn't matter if you have a chode. And this is still a big
[01:00:53] dick is something that I know after reading after reading a
[01:00:57] bunch of theory after reading theory. It's true that having a
[01:01:01] chode equals having a big dick. It does. So fuck you, Glenn
[01:01:04] Greenwald. From your ivory tower in Brazil. So fuck you, Michael
[01:01:11] Tracy. I think he's paid. I've read about this, even though it's
[01:01:18] launched a wider than it is long, even though my name Tom
[01:01:22] the long. No, it's not. First of all, that's fine. Because
[01:01:27] that's Tom the long. My name is Tom the long penis. So you're
[01:01:32] talking about the guy from Blink 180. It's not used the
[01:01:35] informal version of your name because you've been good friends
[01:01:38] for years. No, that's no one would ever use your version is
[01:01:42] not your middle name as long as you haven't been accused. You
[01:01:46] wouldn't call me Stavros Emmanuel. Hmm. What's a manual?
[01:01:50] It's my middle name. Manny. I've never heard that. You know,
[01:01:53] Manny. How many how many how like from the grassy exactly
[01:01:59] like Manny Ramirez, dude, exactly like me like Manny Ramirez.
[01:02:03] I think she was doing comedy for a minute or something. I think
[01:02:07] someone we know gave real smooch. I wasn't going to say that
[01:02:16] second. Somebody can balls. Somebody can balls. Somebody can
[01:02:20] balls. Bum bum bum bum. Fuck me. Right in my fucking hand. So I
[01:02:24] want to get my cocks off. I can't wait to suck penis. Okay,
[01:02:28] I'm going to get brave. I want to go to things like I want the
[01:02:35] Braid come to Six Flags and bring a can of Coke and prove that
[01:02:38] your dick is his why does it can't have Coke and ride the
[01:02:41] Batman sexual revenge. Watch his Batman get sexual revenge on
[01:02:49] the joke. For four hours is a video Batman raping the Joker.
[01:02:54] They're just community theater actors. The guy just sexual
[01:02:59] revenge. Like no, don't worry. His dick is actually inside of a
[01:03:02] dildo. So there's no skin to skin contact. Six Flags American
[01:03:14] Fuck, dude. Every every summer, I'm like, damn, I want to go to
[01:03:18] Six Flags. Yeah. And then twice I've been as an adult. It's
[01:03:22] like, this is fucking lame. You you like what did you lose your
[01:03:25] dad was actually a great day. Six flags because that's the kind
[01:03:29] that's a roller coaster for an adult. It's having your wallet
[01:03:32] fall out of your pocket at 10 o'clock in the morning. Yeah,
[01:03:35] on a ride when you have to take a flight two days later and you
[01:03:39] Do you live with the bureaucracy? Well, and then having a ride at
[01:03:42] Children's roller coaster three more times looking over the side
[01:03:45] of the roller coaster on a fact finding mission until you spot
[01:03:49] your wallet, maybe 20 feet away from the track. And you're like,
[01:03:53] I'm basically fucking American sniper. Yeah. Can you do you
[01:03:58] know how fucking cool that would never have found that? Oh,
[01:04:01] dude, I yeah, I was like, there it is. That's awesome. And then I
[01:04:05] told the guy, he was like, um, yeah, I don't like please don't
[01:04:11] feed this guy. Yeah. Like, yeah, I guess maybe like after the
[01:04:16] park was it for two minutes. Yeah, I'm like, just let me go back.
[01:04:20] I won't touch any of the wires. Yeah. I know everything's
[01:04:23] electric. Just let me get my wallet. This isn't some kind of
[01:04:29] long these stupid fucking Chinese kids can wait a second.
[01:04:33] Yeah. And like, well, now you've got to leave for races. So you
[01:04:38] had to wait the whole day, huh? The Chinese kids are like,
[01:04:40] why? That's what they sound like crying. Right? Why? Why?
[01:04:48] They sound like a fucking awesome guitar solo. I won't do it. But
[01:05:00] I really I kind of missed the boat on it already. But I really
[01:05:02] wanted to contact that Chinese comedian, the Tony Hinchcliffe
[01:05:05] brood lost. Yeah. And just ask him like, because if I could have
[01:05:10] I would have done I would have flown I would take a red-eyed
[01:05:12] Austin set up a show to add tones and then have somebody in the
[01:05:17] audience set up a show have somebody in the audience right
[01:05:20] where that camera was. Make the video and have that Chinese guy
[01:05:23] introduced me and then come out and like a gay shout with the
[01:05:26] Raiden hat and then the shoes with the blobs on the bottom.
[01:05:29] Yeah. And then my eyes stay back. Oh, hello. And then just fall
[01:05:34] off the stage and then have him posted be like, Oh, also open
[01:05:38] for this guy. That would be awesome. Just posted the day
[01:05:43] after the Tony thing. Completely top Hinchcliffe. Take that
[01:05:46] Hinchcliffe. You think you're the most racist guy in comedy? No
[01:05:51] chance, pal. I would pay that Chinese guy $10,000. Just let me
[01:06:00] make that video and post it on his account. Like also this guy.
[01:06:04] That would really take the heat off of him. Yeah. You know,
[01:06:08] no, it wouldn't. It would just annoy people. Yeah. That would
[01:06:12] really kill Tony would be fine if you if you just did that
[01:06:17] sandal trick. What about this suck Tony? Suck Tony. But it's
[01:06:21] about Tony the tiger. You suck his cock. Mm. Suck my dick.
[01:06:25] Mm. I'm gay. Let's get ready to I'm gay. Yeah. But fucker
[01:06:41] instead of Bruce buffer. Oh, yeah. That's good. Oh, let's get
[01:06:45] ready to I that does MMA. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Okay.
[01:06:50] I gained you on Bruce buffer brothers. Wow. Born his sister,
[01:06:55] obviously. But to me, that's a brother. It is not just to you
[01:06:59] to everyone. No, to me. I mean, it's a personal choice, but to
[01:07:02] me, that's a brother. Yeah, Michael. Wait, actually, Bruce
[01:07:05] buffer is the UFC guy. I think Michael buffer was boxing.
[01:07:10] Yeah. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get his brother is
[01:07:13] the UFC guy and he goes, it's time. Yeah, he says it's time
[01:07:16] which is not Michael was better. Not even close to let's get
[01:07:20] ready to run. Yeah. But just because he looks exactly the
[01:07:23] same, it's true. And he's on a better thing. His voice isn't
[01:07:26] as like deep and like the boxing brother so much better.
[01:07:30] The boxing one's way better. That Tony Hinchcliffe video is
[01:07:32] pretty funny. It's crazy. It's so funny. Not in a way where it's
[01:07:37] like great job. Of course. Why would you think? Yeah. But
[01:07:41] that's yeah, that's that's the only thing that makes me like
[01:07:45] Oh, 100% someone making that idiotic of a mistake. It's so
[01:07:49] funny. It's like, why did it come on, man? Like, just try a
[01:07:56] joke. Just fucking yeah. Oh, man. But it was hilarious. Now a
[01:08:01] day is out of, you know, out of any year to go do that. Yeah,
[01:08:07] hilarious. That is just a. I do like to respond so on social
[01:08:14] media where people are like, well, then they still do this
[01:08:16] every fucking time they're like, um, great. Now I can be a big
[01:08:19] fan of this pain guy. No, I'm like, do you have a Patreon I
[01:08:23] could subscribe to? And it's like, is that how hollow your
[01:08:26] interests are? Of course. Is there a way we can materially
[01:08:29] help pay? I can't imagine that feeling good if I'm a comedian
[01:08:33] and like something bad happens to me and then people are like,
[01:08:36] Well, I think you're a good comic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I do.
[01:08:40] Did you even watch my set? No, but I saw someone use a slur at
[01:08:44] you. Yeah. Let's get ready to fuck. I mean, that's been a big
[01:08:50] basis of my career. Here's a huge guy in the anti-Semitism.
[01:08:54] People here, you guys doing slurs at me. I don't see. We've never
[01:08:58] sort of slurred you want. Yeah, you do. I don't. You've called me.
[01:09:02] You've called me a bum. Which is it which is an economic
[01:09:07] descriptor. It's not a slur. There's a lot of bums I respect.
[01:09:10] No, but there's you just don't happen to be one. A bum is a
[01:09:14] bum is a risk. I've called you a worthless bum.
[01:09:18] Worthless. Worthless. A cock sucking slob. Yeah.
[01:09:22] That's not a slur. Cock sucking? Fine. Slob.
[01:09:26] That's that's that's different than a bum. Yeah. That's what you are.
[01:09:30] You're a bum's cock sucking slob. See? And then if I called you a
[01:09:34] cock sucking bum, that would have just been like, yeah,
[01:09:38] I know plenty of cock sucking bums. Yeah, we've got no problem.
[01:09:40] So all I'm saying is people hear people hear these kind of
[01:09:44] things that you guys say. And then they just hit my Amazon wish list.
[01:09:48] Yeah. You know? And so they materially improve my life.
[01:09:52] What's on it? A sequential one dollar bill.
[01:09:57] Yeah. A power splitter that has a flat plug. So you
[01:10:03] couldn't put a couch up against the wall.
[01:10:05] That's all you could easily afford yourself. Yeah, I can't. I need men to buy
[01:10:10] for me on the internet. It's part of the sexual thrill for him, Nick.
[01:10:13] Yeah. He likes knowing a man spent his money. As part of his sexual
[01:10:16] repair. A businessman could have his way with me if he wanted to.
[01:10:21] But instead he would lose me to waste away in the conservatory in my gown.
[01:10:27] That turns you on. Well, folks, thanks for joining us.
[01:10:31] And another one we'll see you on Wednesday.