Cum Town | Premium | 06/13/2021
[00:00:04] Reminds me of going to see Star Wars in fifth grade. Yeah, dude
[00:00:10] That song's playing and you're like it's back dude. Oh, yeah
[00:00:14] I've waited so long for the meanwhile you'd like the first time you saw Star Wars was like eight months ago
[00:00:22] I've been in a POW camp waiting for the new Star Wars
[00:00:29] Honestly, this is gonna be mad me. I watched Empire Strikes Back and I did not like it
[00:00:35] Really I was just I was remembering the time we were talking about Star Wars
[00:00:40] and we're talking about which ones are good and
[00:00:43] Empire Strikes Back is supposed to be the best one. Yeah. Yeah, and it is good. I like it and Adam
[00:00:49] I said, would you like to swipes? Oh, yeah? That was awesome, dude. That was really good
[00:00:59] I sit with things that I've said and done. Well, maybe you'd like to apologize
[00:01:03] I'm actually an audience but but you know when I'm lying asleep at night trying to fall asleep
[00:01:09] One of those things will pop into my head. Yeah, I thought when you're lying during the day when you're out about town
[00:01:14] Yeah, just talking to anybody. It's regular line. I'm not no I'm saying I'm when you're in bed lying to yourself
[00:01:19] Well, exactly lying on a man's penis and more than one way
[00:01:24] But those popping in my head and I just jolt awake
[00:01:29] Cauled wall. See that's a nice thing about and I do not remember a single thing that happens on the show
[00:01:34] That's a great way to be people will just be like will like say dude
[00:01:38] I was just listening to this one or whatever and I'm like I have no idea what you're talking about
[00:01:42] I don't listen to either of you while you're speaking while we're doing this
[00:01:48] Even in the moment I'm not hearing the show
[00:01:54] Remembering it and I basically I listen every I'm the only one who listens and I listen every like third thing
[00:02:00] Because I I'm still thinking while you're talking. I'm still thinking about the riff that I really enjoyed. Yeah, I'm trading stock
[00:02:07] I'm looking for the next you know, what's who's gonna be the next Rihanna of come town?
[00:02:14] You know who's the next girl that sucks my dick of come town. Yeah, well, I think that was the first celebrity name
[00:02:22] I think about my bits is my girls. Yeah, they're all hot girls. My Demi Lovato my Rihanna
[00:02:29] That's a hot that's a hot them. That's a hot that's a person. That's a really hot. It's funny
[00:02:35] How Demi is turning into someone the bees sort of know, huh?
[00:02:41] Turning into some of we kind of know yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you know Demi LePussy
[00:02:48] Yeah, yeah, I would honestly here's here's here's a kind of ally
[00:02:52] I know you're talking here's a kind of ally. I am I would fuck
[00:02:58] I think they look like they still sing ally
[00:03:01] It's gonna be funny when all the woke talk ages the way like boomers talk
[00:03:07] You know boomers are like hey slick brother man
[00:03:10] Yeah, you know, it's like that's what there's gonna be just yeah middle-aged people being like I'm an ally to you sister
[00:03:16] Yeah, you're clearing comedy. Yeah, and people are gonna be like god damn
[00:03:25] I like I just I don't know who's saying what I don't give a hell. I don't give a damn care
[00:03:30] Mm-hmm. I'm saying well. I am cool. I'm saying I'm an ally in that I will fuck
[00:03:39] Most people regardless of their gender identity if they have big titties in a pussy
[00:03:47] What we're not even big titties just titties of some kind and that's so
[00:03:52] Whatever parlance you want to use I don't care how it ages. I'm on board the only deal breaker for me is you know Gaza
[00:03:58] Yeah, if they're pro-class. What are your uh, no, I'd fuck all good on so would you yeah?
[00:04:07] Okay, let's let's explore that. She's still have the same. She's love be on the same side of the Israel
[00:04:16] Good afternoon. I am George Clooney's wife. Okay
[00:04:21] Why do we have to bring a mall into this dude beautiful classic poon job, you know, maybe you should
[00:04:27] Leave that bitch and and find them all of America. Yeah, okay a nice
[00:04:34] White bitch from Milwaukee for Clooney. Maybe you could date Rosemary Minnesota. Where's where's the mall?
[00:04:41] Minneapolis Minneapolis kind of a rude name
[00:04:44] Yeah to the rest of America, right? Yeah, it's like when people
[00:04:48] Yeah, say the Bay or something which Bay you talking? I'm gonna open them all here in New York called the mall of Minnesota's fucking gay
[00:04:56] Yeah, that's good see how they deal with that
[00:05:00] Yeah, I do fucking can suck my dick. I'm all next to the stew liners. I want to go to that mall
[00:05:07] That's awesome. Yeah, I would go there. There's a mall in Jersey. Well, they have it. Well done
[00:05:12] Yeah, they have a Sarqui Japan. They would of course have a Sarqui then I'm going home of salt
[00:05:17] Of course, I want a Sarqui right now. Sarqui was insane. I remember eating Sarqui Sarqui like as
[00:05:25] a 15 year old and being like this I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack
[00:05:29] I've never had that thought up until literally like six months ago. Uh-huh. I the only time I had that thought was like
[00:05:41] What is Sarqui? It's like a Panda Express?
[00:05:43] No, I'll fucking dare you know Panda Express is actually way better. I like whoa
[00:05:48] What the fuck I like panda then Sarqui Japan. Yeah, that was some good
[00:05:53] Get the fuck out of here. Sarqui is more savory than Panda Express. Sarqui is a teriyaki
[00:05:58] Style restaurant teriyaki hibachi and basically you just get a Benihana. No
[00:06:04] It is a food court now Benihana is hibachi. What am I thinking of the like giant the Japanese version of oh?
[00:06:10] Yeah, it's of Korean barbecue. No, that's yaki Niku. That's yaki Niku. There's another one. That's like very well said
[00:06:18] They're just thank you. There's just short order cooks. It's bit it is about it's just like fast food hibachi
[00:06:23] Basically, okay, but it's chicken teriyaki and you pay you pay 99 cents more and you get double meat
[00:06:29] That's all for double meat for double meat. Well, and it's it's a it's beautiful. It's taste delicious
[00:06:34] That's a real slow in the system. It's not you think yeah, you get and look they have other stuff
[00:06:40] They have noodles they have fucking you know egg rolls ship
[00:06:43] But you just get the teriyaki and if you're feeling healthy you get white rice instead of fried rice
[00:06:48] Okay, I remember pulling that move when I was 16. I'd be like I'm watching my figure. Yeah
[00:06:56] Is a white rice better than the brown rice? No, I mean
[00:07:01] And and or an oil and oil and salt the eggs
[00:07:05] And if you really there was a time in my life where I was I
[00:07:10] Was I was working as a paralegal and I was doing a
[00:07:17] Okay, and I would get sarka Japan just with the steam vegetables. No rice. Okay very mature
[00:07:24] So there's a lot of I would say it's better than fucking it's better than Panda Express
[00:07:29] Panda Express can actually suck my dick and balls because I think with Panda Express is just get Chinese food anywhere else
[00:07:36] That was like Panda Express. It wasn't called Panda Express in the Lake Forest food court because they had a Panda Express
[00:07:44] Yeah, food courts. I did not fuck with food court Chinese food. Well, I worked in them in the mall
[00:07:49] So I see lunch lunch break move of course that there is nothing better than like being like what shall we have today?
[00:07:56] Yeah, this what are my seven options right Charlie's sub suboro
[00:08:00] Yep Panda Express. I wish I remember the name because they're well
[00:08:04] I mean, I guess it doesn't fucking matter, but it was mama Lardos was that the pizza type? I remember that place
[00:08:17] my one mall and they like their food court was like super fucking depressing oh, yeah, and
[00:08:23] I remember I was there with Norman Wilkerson and
[00:08:26] And that all the food places were like off brand
[00:08:32] We passed by a pizza place. I was like, what's this place fucking called bizaros?
[00:08:39] It's like bizarre. Oh, yeah, you really got them how about I'm a sura's yeah
[00:08:45] Because trash we actually also the name of your
[00:08:48] I need to be up up one up here on a 15. Yeah, but if we break it down that was it was it's it's
[00:09:01] Playing on the theme of bizarro of bizarro a Superman
[00:09:05] He's a retarded version of Superman. Yeah. Well bizarro. Sabaros is already pretty close to bizarro
[00:09:11] And it and then it's it's a it's a pretty good joke. It's a solid
[00:09:15] I'll give you a thumbs up. Wait, so I remember thinking yeah, are we still talking food?
[00:09:21] No, I would have hit you guys on something. Okay, I remember when the stinks. Sorry. I thought he was about the
[00:09:29] I remember when Chipotle started moving into food courts and me thinking
[00:09:35] There goes the fucking neighborhood. What's up with people saying Chipotle?
[00:09:41] Chipotle, but there's there's fucking a bunch that the first time I heard it was these dumbass fucking
[00:09:46] Iowans that owned a tender one shop in front of my apartment and they would say oh, yeah, it's got
[00:09:55] Chipotle, I can't even say they swap the letters
[00:09:58] It's so fucking easy to say Chipotle and as a person that ruins words on purpose all the time
[00:10:03] That is very but now it's a sin. There's other people have heard say it that way. Yeah fucking gringo say it that way, dude
[00:10:10] Mm-hmm. Not us classic chican. Well, that's cool
[00:10:13] Hold on. Hold on. Oh, buanos cubanos day Nick actually is a gringo
[00:10:16] I guess now that I think about I'm Greek and you're Jewish. Yeah, I think it goes anyone that's not magic
[00:10:23] Nick's Irish. Thanks. Why dude. Yeah, I guess I'm white. I'm mixed race. I'm part white part
[00:10:32] Thanks why you want to be white, but they won't allow Jews to count ever and I am not white
[00:10:37] That's how it works. I think that I get that
[00:10:43] I want to go I want to go this place. Yeah, it's a food. Yeah, maybe I'm more peanut butter checks mix
[00:10:53] Right peanut butter checks right. I guess there's no mix in that. Yeah, you're not I just started thinking about peanut butter checks
[00:11:01] They are really good. Oh, that I don't I didn't understand why you were saying I'm more like peanut butter checks until I realized you were just
[00:11:10] Like going into I was not I was not riffing. I was thinking about
[00:11:17] Because it is like candy dude, there's nothing finer than just a fucking big like
[00:11:23] In terms of going buck wild. It's absolutely breakfast cereals the more I age a refined man
[00:11:29] It's not about donuts. It's not about sweets of other kinds about show off cakes and whatnot
[00:11:35] It's about the store. I never like never going to you know
[00:11:38] They haven't malls like the sweet factory or the place it just had a course on a candy. Yes, C's is one of them sees
[00:11:48] Would think that it would be like you don't know walking fuss
[00:11:50] No fucking idiot. Don't call me you think it would be cool, but I just don't really fuck with candy. Yeah
[00:11:58] Yeah, I think like too much of a good thing the Coca-Cola gummies the Coca-Cola bottle is a good
[00:12:03] But I really only like them because they look like Siamese cats
[00:12:12] Those are like her e-bose all right her e-bose the coke was a Japanese as a German
[00:12:18] It is German which is fucked up. It should be Japanese
[00:12:22] I'm fucking pit when I found out it was German. I was fucking pissed off. You know what's made up the Hagen dies
[00:12:27] I know this isn't made up words 35 was not it's supposed to sound Danish, but it's oh, yeah
[00:12:38] Okay, you guys I had him's been Hagen dies off. Yeah
[00:13:00] With me there's this new mall, okay, which was like a 15 year project
[00:13:05] Municipal disaster project by the Meadowlands. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah
[00:13:10] They just open right before COVID hilarious and now it's open, but it you want to go right after the show
[00:13:20] Okay, so maybe next week this is what they have they have a water park and
[00:13:30] Facility stealing from Dubai. Yes and Japan. I think that was indoor skiing work
[00:13:35] They have like a mountain just a big ash mountain. Yeah, they build them out with snow
[00:13:44] On a toboggan. I'm not what's a toboggan? I don't know sled. Okay. It's like this sled version of a radio flyer
[00:13:52] Oh, hell yeah, dude. I'm doing that for sure. Yeah, they have me black light mini golf
[00:13:59] Birds mini golf to different angry bridge me golf and then they have yeah, they have a
[00:14:05] Aquarium a lego land. Okay. Yeah, all the stuff for us 35 year old man. That sounds awesome
[00:14:11] Yeah, how far is it about an hour right outside the city like by giant stadium?
[00:14:16] How long would it take to get there motherfucker like an hour not even not even not even I guess from here for 45
[00:14:22] Yeah, yeah, no, it's a straight shot from here, dude
[00:14:26] you just take you take park to Tilbury to
[00:14:32] To quit then Lee over to no shrink right across
[00:14:38] Take a u-turn you're going the opposite on the BQE
[00:14:42] Take that up get off at McGinnis take the plastic
[00:14:47] Why would you get off right over Jackson Avenue? Okay of the northern boulevard
[00:14:53] With our story at work with side on the LIE to shoot straight straight to the
[00:15:04] Shut up the montage on the fair you get a helicopter there. Yeah, get a helicopter blade
[00:15:10] Yeah, we'll get one of those to play a helicopter
[00:15:14] Uber for a minute there. I remember they were trying to pitch that yeah, how much would that cost a helicopter out to the Hamptons?
[00:15:27] Helicopter crash and killed a bunch of tourists a couple years ago
[00:15:30] I don't remember that it's like a thing that like nobody wants to do and they're like, you know be fun
[00:15:34] Let's do a helicopter ride and then you die
[00:15:38] It's like dying it. It's like literally it's like dying at mini golf
[00:15:41] It's like that's like black hot down Mogadishu dude. Mm-hmm everyone respects someone that dies in a helicopter
[00:15:47] Adam loves to dish Mogadishu. No, that's also here's a dishy Mogadishu
[00:15:57] You guys have a little inside joke and you call sucking cock
[00:16:04] You got a dish Mogadishu and I love when you mog my ass
[00:16:07] That's just that's just that's just but made up
[00:16:15] Children it's Swahili whoa, so now your race is to Adam saying it was why he leaves made up being a
[00:16:22] Somali pirate and he tells me yeah Adam really wants Adam really wants a Hakun my Tada
[00:16:28] Yeah, so come on. I'm a penis. I call being gay. It's called being gay
[00:16:37] They have rock climbing not my thing. Yeah Adam wants to do a rock climbing, but it's doing the rock
[00:16:44] They have a dream work. You want to do cock climbing after I'm climbing climb up Dwayne Johnson's penis
[00:16:51] And then we can go we get way there mr. Adam. I've got great news for you
[00:17:00] I'm horny. I'm horny and tickets are open to my ass
[00:17:06] Oh my god, they have indoor surfing at the dream work's water part. Look. Oh fucking it's like Adam wants to beach my boys
[00:17:13] If you know I'm trying to go on a Shrek themed water slide with my boys
[00:17:28] Yeah, it's an indoor water park sounds horrible, dude. I love water parks
[00:17:32] They're fun too weird too dirty when I was growing up in Vegas. There was a place called wet wild we should do make out with
[00:17:38] We should do next next cheat day you have stop next time you have a cheat meal we should get a G7 and fly to
[00:17:45] Lockhart, Texas and yeah, dude do a little barbecue trip and then drive down the
[00:17:50] Drive down the shoulder ball leader bond is America's best water part, right?
[00:17:57] Why yeah, I don't why is it a German a lot of germ motherfuckers out in Texas
[00:18:01] Yeah, and I don't fuck with it personally most of the Mexicans are actually descendants of non-directions. Yeah
[00:18:13] He saw the boys yeah, there's that plan right where Hitler was gonna take over America through Mexico
[00:18:18] Yes, the Zimmerman plan. Yeah, the George Zimmerman
[00:18:24] He's a note to Mexico. They said you got to send a guy over there to kill a black kid
[00:18:28] Because then it will introduce some kind of weird race thing that drives everyone in the same in the country will implode
[00:18:34] Before you know it. There'll be stop Asian hate signs everywhere. Yeah, and then you know it's not Japan pounds
[00:18:46] So calm the my penis because you are gay I saw I saw someone on a
[00:18:52] Dating app it was an Asian woman that had protect Asian lives in the bio
[00:18:58] But then all of the like black power fists
[00:19:03] Is you telling them to do like wait wait wait wait what color were the emojis they do like brand that the shades of brown
[00:19:10] Like the you know what I'm talking about well
[00:19:12] You do like a light skin brown fist and then a darker one and then like the super dark. Oh, I didn't know that
[00:19:19] Midnight dark rose that's wrong. So you shouldn't be doing that. She shouldn't be doing the black fists. Yeah
[00:19:26] It sounds like you're telling black people to yeah protecting. This is on you. Yeah
[00:19:32] Yeah, I don't think any of those emojis should be have a skin color. I think it's just too dangerous
[00:19:41] Everything should be default yellow. Yeah, well now it's like half of them. It'll be like like it looks like
[00:19:50] But then the skin is like Chinese and then that has breasts. Yeah, and then it's like what is this emoji?
[00:19:59] When are you using me that's me feeling see
[00:20:03] I mean, but what is what is when do you use when do you use the bride with a mustache emoji other than to make fun of it?
[00:20:10] It's like that's like somebody in Silicon Valley's like um, do we have to do one of the brides have to have a mustache?
[00:20:20] That's not to make fun of it Adam. Mm-hmm. It's just getting used on Venmo, dude. Yeah, just to say who you got
[00:20:31] Mm-hmm. I bet you plenty of people pay for sex with a man in the wedding dress with a mustache
[00:20:37] That's gotta be out there. Yeah, that's so when you're on Venmo and you got to pay the male prostitute
[00:20:43] You just fucked in the ass while he was wearing a wedding dress
[00:20:46] But I bing but a boom. Yeah, you send them that emoji that way the cops don't have to know what the Venmo was for
[00:20:52] They think you're just making fun of it. It's actually genius for sex work
[00:20:57] It strikes me as odd to pay for a male prostitute. I feel like gay sex is
[00:21:07] Yeah, you just have a hunch, huh? Yeah, it's my
[00:21:15] Everyone around you who wants to okay. Here's this though. It's like you'd be like probably pretty like a no
[00:21:25] You don't have a lot of time. You can't be fucking on the app schedule your gay side
[00:21:30] You got a schedule your gay sex the same way the same way like tiger woods would hire whores
[00:21:34] You don't think tiger can get pussy of course, but also he's also you're also paying for discretion
[00:21:41] Right, you know what I'm saying. Oh if you're on the low so actually you're a down low brother like you
[00:21:52] He's like you guys thought it was gay no he goes to a doctor to make his four centimeter penis
[00:21:58] Adam and his boyfriend they go up on the roof
[00:22:06] Whatever I know you guys don't believe in labels sorry
[00:22:14] You know like a cat like a cat burglar kind of outfit
[00:22:17] And the other guy puts the tip of his dick in Adam's ass and then Adam clamps down
[00:22:23] He jumps from the top of the building mission impossible
[00:22:34] Then he goes yeah, there's a computer at the bottom of the street and he types in goatsy dot com
[00:22:39] Yeah, then he master base and the drop of cum that comes out of his dick when he I have to catch it
[00:22:52] You just on the street with a humongous dick in your ass
[00:22:57] Jacking off the go see upside down and God forbid the comb hits the side
[00:23:14] That's the jam-spawn music vision possible
[00:23:17] Shut the whole thing I think that's a little
[00:23:20] Farka, bro, but I'm gonna miss give it pussy. Oh, let's give me push it. It's Adam and address
[00:23:38] I heard you using the computer on the sidewalk
[00:23:44] How did you know about that I caught the semen yeah
[00:24:03] My song that plays where the James Bond doesn't know what that song is that's true in the world of James Bond
[00:24:09] It never heard it. It does exist. What do you mean? There's a there's a
[00:24:14] He's an India in one of them and a kid plays it on like a snake charming flute and he's like I love that strong
[00:24:22] Yeah, they're famous movie never say George Clooney's wife. That's right
[00:24:27] I'm pretty sure that's I'm pretty sure that's a scene that I'm not making up completely
[00:24:32] I would I would get sucked off by a mall myself
[00:24:35] And it's because I'm a sappy of sexual when it should we go through every title of James Bond movie?
[00:24:40] I think we did that maybe make it in I don't think we did I think we did it made a gay yeah
[00:24:56] Because you're in your work at 7-1 right yeah
[00:25:03] From from Russia with chutney. Oh, that's really good chutney with
[00:25:16] Cuz they hate they had a stop over in Moscow flying over here. Yeah
[00:25:30] What do you think I like I fucking love samosa's brother
[00:25:35] Mm-hmm in the vegetarian the rare time where I believe the vegetarian version of something is better than the meat-filled version
[00:25:42] Yeah, this was better with Chinese because I'm just oh right. We were doing Chinese. I'm remembering moon face
[00:25:50] Well, all right we gave it a show we got three yeah
[00:25:52] We got what about instead of from Russia with love it's from India with love
[00:25:58] No, I already said from India with a couple problems with that
[00:26:02] You didn't hear from Russia with chutney
[00:26:10] There's no way that's not already like a billion Bollywood James Bond that's true. That's true. I gotta look that up
[00:26:16] No, I would do they show it's over. It's in Bollywood Google you think they would Google when you Google James Bond films
[00:26:23] It just automatically populates Johnny English like the thumbnail for Johnny English with what's Johnny English the Rowan Atkinson James Bond parody
[00:26:53] Turn away when it's getting fucking pound it is a lot of eyes are bugging out
[00:27:02] There's a guy who people have nicknamed the Indian James Bond a real guy, and this is a picture of him
[00:27:11] It's just that it's just no one's nicknamed in that
[00:27:15] Indian James Bond is he a fucking spy I guess he was a spy
[00:27:18] Did he get a blessing we must know about the Indian James Bond a jit dovall a jit dovall
[00:27:38] Chatney which is just like a thing in a bunch of cultures there's like an Indian version of it, but
[00:27:47] He was undercover in Pakistan. Oh, I mean that barely
[00:27:58] He just he just he's putting on his costume
[00:28:01] Really has a mustache already and he just puts another
[00:28:08] Yeah, he puts his feet that are already in sandals in the larger sandals
[00:28:24] So what was he doing in Peck and Bucky ston he he went undercover a couple times
[00:28:30] But he showed great dedication devotion to his country as he spent seven years in Pakistan working as an undercover agent
[00:28:39] He had learned he had to learn certain things that would help him remain undercover
[00:28:43] He mastered or do and learn all the information regarding Pakistani politics culture and history
[00:28:49] Well, it seems like did he get pussy is what I need to know remain these those are like those are like the requirements for just being like a journalist
[00:28:55] Yeah, he's undetected despite extensive ISI surveillance and managed to carry out his work there successfully who wrote this he did
[00:29:12] All right kind of both like why isn't this guy on the Simpson
[00:29:15] This guy they should just change the Simpsons did he kill probably he's Indian James bond
[00:29:22] Yeah, you gotta always probably just a guy that went undercover. It does not sound like James Bond
[00:29:26] I was like James you got a side with Pakistan because they're Muslim first of all
[00:29:30] It's also bad first of all James Bond. Yeah
[00:29:41] Half of them turned out to be bad guy chicks that he had to kill
[00:29:44] Whoa, and then he met a sweetie chick. That's also yeah, but she also died
[00:29:48] But then she died. Yeah, and he got he made he got even more
[00:29:52] And the only way to fucking solve the to fix the pain was to get more pussy
[00:29:57] Yeah, so he he met the girls and he thought that they were sweetie girlfriends
[00:30:00] Right, but it turns out that they were Pakistani bad guys. Yep. That sucks
[00:30:09] Um James bomb was never anywhere for seven years though James Bond God post he's in and out
[00:30:16] Yeah, he would just go to the Bahamas a lot. Yeah. Yeah a lot of tropical locales
[00:30:25] Yeah, we talked about James Bond on the show recently
[00:31:02] James you're gonna have to be gay this time. No pussy
[00:31:11] Look at this double seven. It's a fake pussy that you can put inside of a man's ass
[00:31:32] Not gay James we've tested it rigorously
[00:31:41] James here's some lipstick and a wig you can put on the man you fuck has a fake penis with fake cop
[00:31:57] They gotta do one of those that would be James's fucking biggest challenge of all time pretending he's gay bad news
[00:32:04] 007 there's a homosexual serial killer in Brooklyn
[00:32:08] Why is this my sixes responsible? Well as you know England is a gay country
[00:32:22] Must be protected god save the queen what if prince
[00:32:30] What if Prince Charles wants to go to New York and have gay sex
[00:32:34] But I was recruited specifically because I'm the only English man who doesn't throw up at the side of pussy
[00:32:40] Why don't we send any of our other hundreds of thousands of gay agents
[00:32:48] Because your James because they're homos James
[00:32:55] We need you to infiltrate the soprano crime family
[00:33:06] Yeah, maybe I could choose how I know it's regular we already put the dossier together
[00:33:15] There's a guy veto. He's gay you have to fuck him
[00:33:24] Remember that British guy I saw sucking Vito's vehicle. He was getting pussy
[00:33:30] You know he's not a faggot. He's by I thought you said this guy was British
[00:33:40] Are you telling me he's not actually British
[00:33:44] Town I don't know he might be straight. He might be by tone. He could be a spy for
[00:33:53] Christopher what the fuck are you talking about? You're gonna fucking you watch too many fucking movies
[00:33:57] You let a fucking spy into the organization just because he sucks your car
[00:34:08] I thought I thought he was British. I thought he was but I did though
[00:34:12] It doesn't sound like a gay thing on my side. It's like a miss miss is now fire situation
[00:34:17] T it's okay. I fucked a couple guys. Mm-hmm. J. Leno. Yeah
[00:34:37] Yeah, like the way Tony sarah goose would play the bodyguard. Yeah
[00:34:40] I remember just one of the bodyguards doesn't even get a speaking role. Just yeah, just a guy from south
[00:34:46] Church. Yeah, heavy from the south of Jersey family apparently uh
[00:34:50] Tony soprano got a dick south by James Bond
[00:34:53] I know Bill Clinton was asked about it and he said there's been a monocle whiskey
[00:35:10] Are you crazy? Are you crazy? J. I got HIV
[00:35:17] Hey, can we go back to the chival? Yeah, tell me Kevin you bench guy shut off by a British guy
[00:35:31] I don't know if that's possible. It's a brand of season two
[00:35:41] Give us a brand of smash a James Bond and also the tonight show
[00:35:45] For during the J. Leno years give us the shows
[00:36:06] I put rocks in my baby sister's pussy. Yeah, that looked like uh, I look like a bag of laundry
[00:36:10] I look like a big old bag of wet laundry. Okay, I'm pretty look at my pussy. Jeff Leno done
[00:36:15] Yeah, wow good. Well, let's throw some mixture
[00:36:19] And check out this puppet. I gotta puppet looks just like me. It's been out of a fucking uh
[00:36:27] I'm gonna overproof bunch of pils buried the traffic a rosette in the bus and uh in the garbage for two weeks
[00:36:40] Jeff done. Um the only other Jeff. I could think of is Jeff leech
[00:36:44] Foxworthy Jeff Jeff leech foxworthy. Mm-hmm. He's like you might be a red british
[00:36:56] Wow, wow beautiful bow on a very sensical ass motherfucking riff
[00:37:11] People oh, yes, you just got he got canceled. Oh, really? Yeah, what do you do?
[00:37:15] He was in the call of duty games and then like I don't know I guess some live stream of him
[00:37:20] He said the end word. Yeah, he was calling people the end word
[00:37:23] Seriously saying it in british wild move for the british. Yeah
[00:37:29] Don't know he was just he he was like, I don't know
[00:37:33] I guess he like criticized some I don't the whole world of streaming is so bizarre to me. Yeah, I know we do something similar
[00:37:40] It's huge, but yeah, just people play video games. It's so famous. Yeah, and then we're watching the play video games about politics. Yeah
[00:37:49] People who didn't mean debates about politics. Isn't that what the Hassan does? He just talks to kids about politics
[00:37:54] Or does he play video games? I think you play some big games, but yeah, he's just on all the time
[00:38:03] Yep, yeah, oh his son Minaj or I guess piker. I don't like her. You do both of those and yeah
[00:38:12] I'd rather piker. Yeah, I guess I'm you can hustle on writing
[00:38:20] And we're not even bothering to make them sort of makes sense
[00:38:25] That's just the cadence of calling someone gay now. Just any word. Yeah, I got a stop you can have a song right here
[00:38:33] You can hoss on it. Oh, yeah, you gotta take the train to work. Yeah, I gotta work you can train right here
[00:38:46] Friends of the show internet personalities. I just want to give a big shout out to Jake Paul for or Logan Paul
[00:38:58] Logan Paul. I'm giving a shout out to the Floyd Mayweather the money team. Yeah
[00:39:08] That's right. This Jake Paul. Well actually Floyd Mayweather didn't flaméler beat his wife or something
[00:39:13] Uh and in front of his kids. I believe so I should up Jake Paul's wife. Yeah
[00:39:18] Uh, I believe he was his one of his one of his wives
[00:39:22] That's actually numerous wives and you know what?
[00:39:25] Fuck the money team. I just remembered. Yeah. Yeah, I think also his daughter just recently
[00:39:30] When is that fight that's tonight? I stabbed NBA young boys. Is that fight tonight?
[00:39:36] That was yesterday. Wait, are you serious? I believe so. Yeah
[00:39:39] Floyd's when they were the daughter killed a rapper's pregnant what girlfriend NBA young boy has I found out this out yesterday one
[00:39:47] Uh, it was just an exhibition. Yeah, they just went they went to get paid. They hugged each other. It went it went around. Yeah, so i've never like
[00:39:55] Were passionate about the sport. Yeah, and it was just to us. It was an if you watch one one novelty boxing. Yeah, we're basically i'm basically
[00:40:03] That's what I love. It's a sport. I love Mickey Mouse versus Nicholas Cage. I would watch
[00:40:10] Two gentlemen. It was uh it was 37 rounds to the death
[00:40:15] Nicholas cage one because he's more of a fictional character. Yeah
[00:40:19] The NBA young boy is 20 months. He's like nine kids. Nice. Pretty cool. That is awesome and a couple a couple of bodies. I believe
[00:40:36] Uh, um, hurry up jessica jessica bridges
[00:40:45] Sevekid. Oh, he's got a kid. We can seva right here pal. Mm-hmm. Yes, sir
[00:40:51] Hurry up at him with the fucking news report. Hurry up. You can news report my penis
[00:40:58] I got a girlfriend you can watch this fight. Yep, the fight between I got this girlfriend fight tonight
[00:41:06] The episode where Nick just fully goes insane. Mm-hmm. The podcast just breaks you finally
[00:41:18] What the fuck for stabbing NBA young boy's baby mama? She's going to jail for life. Yeah, it was a stabbing
[00:41:26] It sounds pretty bad with what a sword. Yeah, it was a cotana. Probably that's awesome
[00:41:31] It was so funny when you guys stayed with Adam's friend in LA and he was like yeah, I got this sword
[00:41:36] Just in case anyone breaks. Yeah, that was
[00:41:38] When that guy did break break in then Danny hid in the room with the sword. Oh, yeah, I forgot the guy broke in
[00:41:46] That was awesome after the guy was gone
[00:41:49] I totally forgot that guy just broke just yeah, but he was wasted. He was just sitting on the chair using his phone
[00:41:54] He just went into the wrong apartment. How funny of that guy would be like, I'm a huge friend of the show
[00:42:00] That was so we were we were sleeping on the floor. Yeah, we were like in his living room on the floor
[00:42:07] You guys were dating when style and I were dating you guys shared a bit
[00:42:11] But then I was like talking to him. I was like are you dating his friend. He's not him. You're not even a spoon
[00:42:23] You're the little fork for they use for oysters like a flat spoon. It doesn't even have a dish to it. Mm
[00:42:38] Maybe you're a sugar spoon. Thanks. You know what I would love a big soft pretzel. That would be awesome. It was some mustard
[00:42:48] Where was I recently I was in some mall
[00:42:59] The queen's mall. Have you been there? No, where where they got the cheesecake factory queens paws them all? Yeah, I've been there by cost
[00:43:06] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a nice mall. Yeah, it is a nice mall. I've only I've only ever been to
[00:43:12] I've been to the Costco one time by accident. Yeah, it's not yeah, I went to cheesecake factory nice
[00:43:18] Dude in the queen was small. Yeah, how was it? It was good. You know, I do the same thing where I
[00:43:24] Take some woman. I don't even like the cheesecake factory and I pretend I'm
[00:43:31] Yeah cheesecake factories are hilarious one to go because that's gotta be what it take you like 45 minutes to get there about an hour and 15 minutes
[00:43:37] And then just have a silent dinner where somebody hates me
[00:43:48] Yeah, you just I'm like house place suburban. It's just like bourbon life. It's just like being in a loveless marriage
[00:44:00] No, I'm not on that type of shit. You walk around Barnes and Noble. I'm like who am I kidding?
[00:44:12] My movie it's very it's very funny to like
[00:44:16] Simulate being a different kind of disappointed from yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which I'm so far removed no escape is it's a different
[00:44:24] It's like I can't I have to pretend to be yeah pretend to be a guy that's also pretending to be happy
[00:44:29] But it's just a little bit closer. It's like having a dream about jacking. I do that
[00:44:36] It's routinely in my life. It's embarrassing, but I've been like, you know, you walk around you like just fantasize about things
[00:44:43] Numerous times I've caught myself for like an hour and a half imagining what it would be like if I was good at karaoke
[00:44:54] Feeling you know you could probably get pussy off karaoke. It would be great to know how to sing beautiful in a band
[00:45:00] Not a rock star. Oh, yeah, just go on a stage. Just let your heart out. Yeah, just a guy that fucking crushes into karaoke
[00:45:07] It is really it's it's a really earnest form of I have a couple friends that get pussy off karaoke because they have beautiful singing
[00:45:13] I'm sure yeah, it's a friend from from stops folk it from his uh his support group
[00:45:18] Of guys who get too much push. I will say when they happen to get it through karaoke. I was in la once
[00:45:26] Which is the fat guys that are addicted to pussy
[00:45:28] And a girl flashed her tits at the end of singing creep by radio head how big were they?
[00:45:36] They were nice. They were they were they were they weren't don't you wish this up with the cost
[00:45:57] How nice how to answer my question I remember them being all right
[00:46:01] Yeah, was she hot she was hot and I was like wow that was a great performance
[00:46:05] She had a great voice and then she was doing it sexy
[00:46:09] And then she at the end just pulled just pulled her top down a little bit
[00:46:13] She I can she went pulled up that pulled him down. I got she's actually I like what titties pop
[00:46:18] Last up like girls gone wild. She I love when a titty pops out. That's awesome. It was cool. It's very like
[00:46:26] I think everyone's very mature about it too. No, it was like
[00:46:33] Why is that mature? Why can't you just say I
[00:46:37] I don't know. I didn't know I would love to turn into a cartoon wolf. Yeah. I would love that
[00:46:42] Like a text favorite women are like men need to stop turning into cartoon wolves
[00:46:53] A wooka bitch. Look at this big-ass tongue. Yeah, just why don't you sit on this giant tongue steam coming out of your ears
[00:47:00] Yes, you use my tongue like it's at one a towel and you're just doing I love saying I love saying a wuga
[00:47:06] Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have an aha man. I'm gonna have an aha man. I'm gonna have an aha man. I'm gonna have an aha man
[00:47:13] Guys if you say a wuga go ahead and write into the show
[00:47:22] Attention come town. Yep, Brooklyn, New York Brooklyn, New York 6814
[00:47:27] 6 8 1 4 New York Brooklyn New York Brooklyn
[00:47:30] Put that on the fucking stamp put it on the penny and give it a kiss
[00:47:34] You can put that on the penny and give it a kiss pal. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, sir
[00:47:42] That's one of my classic expressions. What kind of shoes are those Adam? These uh, they're called
[00:47:55] I'm not now fuck that no they're gay, but I was wondering you should try out gay shoes
[00:48:00] All right, you know I usually I stop you should get some uh some wallabies. I
[00:48:04] Don't know what they would well be Clark's wallabies. These are the in the style of Clark's wall. Oh, no. Thank you. No, hold on
[00:48:13] Nah, but Clark's are like a I think more of like a suede typically
[00:48:18] No, thanks. These are these are Clark's well. The tang was really into wall. Oh interesting in the nine
[00:48:24] Those are a little better than Adam shoes. Yeah a little bit better. No actually they're much better
[00:48:30] I said something cool and I'm like they look like my shoes to
[00:48:35] Yeah, you did try and poison my mind against the wall of this thing they have this thing
[00:48:40] Nah, there's something about these. I don't fuck with
[00:48:45] They're they're why not a sneaker dude. I I can't I'm
[00:48:51] Like uh, I can't pull the trigger on my next pair of snakes
[00:48:54] Get a fucking everyday pair of fucking sneakers. I want I want a pair of beaters
[00:49:01] Fucked up these fucked up shoes. Yeah, I've been wearing shoes recently
[00:49:08] You look stupid. I was saying I need to get a pair of jeans. I need what I need is like unless you're coming with a fucking suit
[00:49:15] No, thanks. I need a pair of like adult contemporary shorts
[00:49:19] No more basketball shorts. Someone like a pair like doctors
[00:49:21] Oh, I just ordered a pair of summer short my summer shorts. I got a
[00:49:31] Checker kind of deserve those why you don't you don't know?
[00:49:35] I'm gonna put this out on the bottom right now. You're not an athlete. I'm gonna wear them first
[00:49:39] You're probably so bad at soccer. No, I watch what happens when I get I'm gonna get
[00:49:44] Express over that I chose baseball. I'm gonna get express overnight. So you are forever copying me. No, I told you
[00:49:51] I'm getting on bros, but if it's delivered to me if it's delivered to me first because I'm gonna go to a store
[00:50:03] Then guess who's getting Adam got two months delivery and they pay you three bucks. Yeah Adam, which uh what colors you get?
[00:50:10] Uh, I think maroon. He's lying. He got the c foam. I didn't get see he was like what's the opposite of that and he went maroon
[00:50:21] And let's see here. Oh, yeah, and that's how you know because the extra smalls in c foam are sold out
[00:50:26] Which yeah, so that's it and they and the way they do it is by dick size
[00:50:32] Measure power. Yeah, well, you know, I can't wear any of these in seems only eight inches
[00:50:37] No, that's not the short slide. Yeah, I'm gonna get those two and I'm gonna look better
[00:50:41] What are you taught? Why are we all getting these same shorts because I actually wore them as a child I wore them too. I used to have a pair. No
[00:50:49] You didn't shut up. Oh should I get these this?
[00:50:57] Doctor disrespect the British cloth it would be cool if we just stop the
[00:51:03] Competitive aspect no and the copying aspect if we all got the same pair of shorts to be kind of nice
[00:51:08] I mean you stop the thing that fuels our creatives. That's right, dude. I'm sorry. I'm not sure that's calling you a faggot
[00:51:17] The heart the heart and brain of the show
[00:51:20] What color are you getting the getting brain of the show? What color are you getting?
[00:51:25] Don't whatever the fucking color I want shut the fuck up, dude
[00:51:28] Don't cuss it. Maybe I will because you know you cussing me and then these folks listening to the show no, they're not allowed to
[00:51:35] They're not allowed to I just don't know don't you ever try to don't curse out our friend Adam you fucking
[00:51:42] Thank you who is gay by the way, but you're not allowed to say it. I'm not okay. Dude. Okay. Do you want do you want support or not?
[00:51:50] They'd pick what do you want support or not? Yeah, I love support. Okay, then don't tell them just quiet
[00:52:01] I'm in color. Did you guys all buy these shorts? I'm looking I'm buying a different pair of shorts
[00:52:06] What kind of shorts do you got the penis in you?
[00:52:16] Let me get these I'm gonna get these dickies shorts
[00:52:19] Yeah, you're gonna get some like we're gonna get some suck dickie shorts
[00:52:21] Well, I just want like a thicker pant or short pants
[00:52:25] I wanted something as light as possible. Wait seven and gypsy. That's too fucking long, dude
[00:52:38] You know, I'm gonna start looking for four inch inseam shorts four inch whether your testicles flop at the side. Yeah
[00:52:46] I know it's pride in everything, but yeah, I like to have I wanted to do I want my nuts hanging
[00:52:52] I want to do like a trailer for an Iranian movie, right?
[00:52:55] We're like a guy. He's like having dinner with his sons and they're like where is mama?
[00:53:02] And uh, I probably already said that pitch just went out before just there's an update to it
[00:53:07] We got 10 minutes and they're like I don't know where she is
[00:53:10] You know, and then there's a knock at the door and he opens the door and it's like the police officer
[00:53:15] Yeah, and the police officer's wearing like a little like em bison hat and let the open
[00:53:19] Yeah, yeah, with like, you know, kind of you know like an Iranian police of course
[00:53:23] But then he's got short shorts on and it's like penis is like coming out of like
[00:53:27] Right. They're just so short that his deck's like sort of poking out of the side
[00:53:31] And then he's wearing like penny loafers or whatever
[00:53:37] What is it? He's like uh, I have very bad news and he's like oh my god
[00:53:42] And they're like your wife was caught the giving poster to africans
[00:53:46] And she's been arrested, you know, and he's like
[00:53:56] I want to see her before I have to have sex with her father. Right, right?
[00:54:03] The police is like detectives are raping her as we speak right during their due diligence
[00:54:10] She's in the interrogation room being raped by detectives
[00:54:14] And then uh, and then yeah, and then it kind of dovetails with that other one
[00:54:22] Iranian guys that are going around holding hands and kissing each other because they're friends
[00:54:26] And then one of them notices the other one's penis is hard
[00:54:29] And he has like a crisis and doesn't know where they're called a Iranian FBI on his friend. They're not which he has to
[00:54:38] It's good citizen and yeah a bunch of like
[00:54:43] Bunch of like just what are they called the the
[00:54:48] No, you know when it cuts in a trailer like the
[00:54:51] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, like the rain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, what do you win or yeah like palm door. Yeah. Yeah
[00:55:00] Yeah, winner at the Venice film festival
[00:55:03] Get your dick sucked festival, which is actually where I go
[00:55:13] The penis really should be spelled p and I see
[00:55:23] Um, I need to I'm just looking for short shorts
[00:55:27] Yeah, this is short. This happens every time I go to buy shorts. I get I'm like, oh, maybe I'll get linen shorts
[00:55:32] Every summer and then uh, no, and then I'm then I just starting up look I get overwhelmed with the options
[00:55:40] Maybe maybe I can get five-inching seems I suppose
[00:55:43] That's short dude. I need a five inch. No five inches pretty normal. Shut the fuck up. Don't cause I mean I keep asking
[00:55:52] Suck my dick. I cannot get it hard. Um, uh, fag
[00:56:04] Suck my dick. I want to fuck a guy. These are nice dude. Look at this brand sir seven sir seven
[00:56:12] Uh men's linen classic. They're a little too long
[00:56:18] They're a little just roll them down on the that's true
[00:56:22] That would be awesome. Like like whores in high school. Yeah
[00:56:24] Uh, damn I wish I'd gotten pussy from one of those type of girls. Mm-hmm. It was as long as we're looking at linen shorts. Yeah
[00:56:33] No, I'm looking at sneakers right now. This is all we're looking at linen shorts. We should get uh
[00:56:46] All right, we got bad. We got about five and a half minutes left
[00:56:49] Yeah, I'm just waiting. I got some fucking
[00:56:58] Okay, it's pretty good. All right, number of men
[00:57:45] That's cool. Thank you wrestling. You can put that on just walk around your neighborhood
[00:57:49] Oh, shit, okay. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Snipples the fuck out
[00:58:07] Should I buy if there's like a weird mansion in a story?
[00:58:11] It's not that far for it's pretty far from public transit, but
[00:58:14] It would be pretty funny on a big ass mansion
[00:58:27] Uh, no, probably me and George would get
[00:58:31] One and then maybe you get like all this
[00:58:33] You're somebody who's in the head fuck the fuck
[00:58:55] Looking for a two xl five in seam or shorter short
[00:58:58] I gotta get my my thighs are milk look how look how wet my thighs are at
[00:59:10] Exactly and I gotta get my fucking thighs like that because right now they're milky way
[00:59:15] And I got let me look at this. This is embarrassing. Check it out. Look. Are you getting horny?
[00:59:20] I don't know. Yeah, mama suck dig in my daddy fuck me in the ass
[00:59:32] I'm sucking on a day again. I'm getting my pussy fuck
[01:00:43] Well, I like the motifs. Well when they actually I
[01:00:47] When kang long has wrote this song. Yeah
[01:00:51] A lot of people who know this he was actually he was gay
[01:01:13] Well, everyone thank you for listening to another episode of
[01:01:22] And that's a nice little tidbit that I had not known
[01:01:36] Because I had none I did not know that before. Yeah, well, that's when you have the mind of an improv genius
[01:01:44] Fresh the best part was see the little smile on your face when you're starting that
[01:02:02] For lunch boys, that's what the listeners really want to know. I is it's about time for our classic midday break where we recharge
[01:02:10] To get ready to record yet another perfect episode
[01:02:19] I actually I've been off the wagon. We find the pan the express. No, I can't do it. Oh, you can't do it
[01:02:25] I've been off the wagon. I'm back on I brought salmon with a little sides out of salmon and or of spinach and broccoli
[01:02:32] Well, maybe I have another piece of toast with some orange slices. Nice sounds good. You just won a soccer game
[01:02:39] Yeah, I'm having a no well, maybe so I never played soccer. That's kind of gay
[01:02:46] It's not and then show on a divisive note. It's not a divisive note
[01:02:49] I'm just saying was that were you reading after you won a soccer game stuff as a piece of toast with orange?
[01:02:58] Well, orange slices who knows orange. Maybe a hot dog. That's a classic afternoon snack right before a nap so you don't have a fit
[01:03:07] You know when they can never experience that they can tell that you're about to you know act out on your emotional
[01:03:14] Disabilities, right and so you need to have an afternoon nap so you get a piece of orange
[01:03:20] We should start building and then they put you they put their tranquia. Yeah
[01:03:24] Do they put butter on the toast? I'm going to bought a little butter honey and cinnamon. Oh my wow
[01:03:31] You know what my afternoon snack as a boy was man's penis was
[01:03:35] Cold spaghetti from the night before and then mom mom would let me cook it myself
[01:03:41] So I take it out in her pussy. No, no, and I put butter
[01:03:46] And a little bit of olive oil and parmesan cheese on it and I put in the microwave for a minute
[01:03:51] And that was my favorite snack. Wow dude spaghetti
[01:03:57] We're talking about really just epic snacks. Yep toast with butter honey and cinnamon
[01:04:03] What's wrong with spaghetti olive oil and butter?
[01:04:05] But first of all that could have been your favorite snack because I'm not having spaghetti. How about spaghetti
[01:04:11] With the pasta no, you're not spaghetti with the frosting from the pills berry
[01:04:20] Packets I would love to be able to go with you on this one, but I've never experienced it
[01:04:25] But either it's something I thought about for a second and uh, no
[01:04:31] What's wrong? I don't know this looks it's like
[01:04:33] Like a leak or something or a liquid all over
[01:04:37] Your wall. Well, I have to figure out what the hell that will get it
[01:04:40] We're gonna figure that out. I'm about to eat some salmon
[01:04:42] Uh blocked access to the cats litter box with a piece of something
[01:04:47] Last weekend the cat pissed all over the uh, the apartment and then she got used to it
[01:04:55] I caught her like going behind the tv to just piss on the tryout pissing on the floor
[01:05:00] And I was like what the fuck are you doing?
[01:05:03] You have a place to piss. Yeah, and the cat was like looking at me as if she was just
[01:05:08] Was wanted to try it out. You gotta lay the smack down dude. Oh, yeah, I beat the cat
[01:05:17] You gotta beat the pussy up folks. See us at six flags in one week. We're really in the live show
[01:05:22] Mm-hmm from the Sylvester the cat beat the pussy up experience