Search Directory About

Bonus 247 - government dot

Cum Town | Premium | 07/18/2021

[00:00:00] Fuck me in my ass.
[00:00:04] Fuck me in my ass.
[00:00:06] Oh.
[00:00:07] Hey.
[00:00:08] Fuck me in my ass.
[00:00:09] Yes.
[00:00:10] Um, welcome to this week's Premium.
[00:00:15] We love pussy.
[00:00:18] We love pussy over here.
[00:00:20] Oh man.
[00:00:21] Let me get your fucking pussy.
[00:00:23] Let me see your mother's.
[00:00:26] Is that how pussy bitch?
[00:00:28] I feel like I'm like quiet or something.
[00:00:31] I want to see your mother fucking pussy.
[00:00:33] Here's my dollars.
[00:00:34] Let me see your pussy.
[00:00:36] Hey.
[00:00:37] You're pussy for five dollars.
[00:00:39] Hey.
[00:00:40] Hey.
[00:00:41] Hey.
[00:00:42] Hey.
[00:00:43] Hey.
[00:00:44] Hey.
[00:00:45] Hey.
[00:00:46] Hey.
[00:00:47] Hey.
[00:00:48] Hey.
[00:00:49] Hey.
[00:00:50] Hey.
[00:00:51] Hey.
[00:00:52] Hey.
[00:00:53] Hey.
[00:00:54] Hey.
[00:00:55] Hey.
[00:00:56] Hey.
[00:00:57] Hey.
[00:00:58] Hey.
[00:00:59] Hey.
[00:01:00] Hey.
[00:01:01] Hey.
[00:01:02] Hey.
[00:01:03] Hey.
[00:01:04] Hey.
[00:01:05] Hey.
[00:01:06] Hey.
[00:01:07] Hey.
[00:01:08] Hey.
[00:01:09] Um, you know what?
[00:01:10] Can you hear me?
[00:01:11] Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:12] Yeah.
[00:01:13] Hey.
[00:01:14] Yeah.
[00:01:15] Yeah.
[00:01:16] Yeah.
[00:01:17] Yeah.
[00:01:18] That sounds like weird or something.
[00:01:19] It's kind of hard to tell because we are listening very loud.
[00:01:21] Oh, this is, I just gave sex music.
[00:01:24] You're playing.
[00:01:25] You're playing.
[00:01:26] I don't have a bedroom. I sleep on the couch.
[00:01:29] Well the fuck room slash
[00:01:31] SWAT chaper.
[00:01:33] Yeah.
[00:01:34] I don't know.
[00:01:36] It was pretty good.
[00:01:37] It's a fucking...
[00:01:38] I can't have a light.
[00:01:41] I can't. I can't. I can't go on at this pace.
[00:01:45] I can't think of this kind of homosexual space.
[00:01:51] I can't dip it in out.
[00:01:53] Everybody on the dance floor show us your balls.
[00:01:58] We're having a wedding.
[00:01:59] We're doing the wet balls contest.
[00:02:01] We're having a wet penis contest.
[00:02:04] Welcome to fucklies.
[00:02:06] We're in a wet asshole contest.
[00:02:08] Welcome to ballons.
[00:02:09] The gayest born America.
[00:02:11] That's not.
[00:02:12] That would just look like a regular rock.
[00:02:14] Welcome to ballons where it looks Irish, but everyone's paying shit.
[00:02:18] Yeah.
[00:02:19] And we're playing game music and showing each other our stocks.
[00:02:22] The stock works with the...
[00:02:24] The food stop.
[00:02:25] I'm the guy at Mullins.
[00:02:27] I know I'm describing...
[00:02:28] He's the announce.
[00:02:29] I'm describing the stock roast from...
[00:02:30] I'm not the food maulins.
[00:02:31] Kind of describing the answer.
[00:02:33] But there's no shit.
[00:02:34] But there's no shit.
[00:02:35] I'm a local businessman.
[00:02:37] And I'm describing a stock roast restaurant which is the burger restaurant where the guy puts cum in the burgers.
[00:02:45] No it isn't.
[00:02:46] But people go in and they order...
[00:02:47] They say hold the burger.
[00:02:49] Alright.
[00:02:50] Well you know what's going on.
[00:02:51] I just want cum.
[00:02:52] Well let me just say I saw a fucking...
[00:02:54] And women don't go there.
[00:02:55] It's only guys and stuff as number one costs.
[00:02:57] I'm not the customer I own it and I saw a fucking opportunity in the market to get free.
[00:03:02] So that's not my fault.
[00:03:03] Why would I get free cum at my own restaurant?
[00:03:05] It's my cum.
[00:03:06] I'm not running a cum restaurant.
[00:03:09] The employees.
[00:03:10] It's my...
[00:03:11] First of all it started with my cum.
[00:03:12] Sounds like someone needs to go back and reread Karl Marx.
[00:03:15] Yeah.
[00:03:16] I can't believe you have a team of illegal immigrants.
[00:03:18] Sounds like somebody...
[00:03:19] I'm providing the cum.
[00:03:21] Sounds like somebody hasn't been reading their theories.
[00:03:24] It's almost as if they don't want to make $200 a week podcast in Brooklyn.
[00:03:32] Whatever dude.
[00:03:34] Look.
[00:03:35] Just because Mullins is a very gay bar.
[00:03:37] Karl Marx writing down his all of his ideas presumably with a feather of some sort.
[00:03:42] That's how good those ideas were.
[00:03:45] A fountain pen.
[00:03:49] They came up with all of them back when they didn't have pens.
[00:03:51] You had to write everything with a fucking feather.
[00:03:54] That's a...
[00:03:55] Let's just start off at the very beginning part of the ideas already starting off with some gay shit.
[00:04:01] It's pretty gay.
[00:04:02] Before you go to write them down, I understand the Constitution is the same thing.
[00:04:07] I think the Constitution is also gay.
[00:04:09] This Constitution is one of the gayest documents of all time.
[00:04:11] The Declaration of Independence?
[00:04:13] That's gay.
[00:04:14] If America weren't gay, we would have just gone to war.
[00:04:18] We wouldn't have had to explain that.
[00:04:20] We would have been like, hey George, let me tell you something.
[00:04:22] Oh, look, I'm looking for closure.
[00:04:25] Yeah, right.
[00:04:26] A strongly worded letter before you go to war.
[00:04:29] That's what you do.
[00:04:30] If America were a real country, we would have just let King George walk in on us getting top from the King of France.
[00:04:38] That's right.
[00:04:39] Benjamin Franklin getting his dick sucked by King Jua.
[00:04:45] King Jua.
[00:04:46] King Jua the V.
[00:04:48] I think he sucked.
[00:04:49] Just getting the head and then Ben Franklin looking at King George and being like, it ain't cheating.
[00:04:54] It's a dick sucked.
[00:04:55] That's right.
[00:04:56] It ain't cheating if it's a dick sucked.
[00:04:58] I'm trying to get my dick sucked.
[00:04:59] It's just a dick sucked.
[00:05:01] I didn't know you were pregnant.
[00:05:04] Ben Franklin in a high vis-vis, getting his cosy rocks.
[00:05:08] The King slash Queen of France.
[00:05:13] Could you know that motherfucker was pretty either way?
[00:05:17] Oh, yeah.
[00:05:18] Curls, fucking mascara, whatever the fuck.
[00:05:20] A month senior marquee.
[00:05:22] And a tight little hole.
[00:05:24] Oh, yeah.
[00:05:25] Whether it's an ass or a pussy or both.
[00:05:27] That's why they call them.
[00:05:28] That's why they call them.
[00:05:29] Welcome to Mullins.
[00:05:31] It's Jua de Vivnite where everybody's dressed like the gay-ass king of France.
[00:05:36] The gay-ass one of all, of course.
[00:05:38] Nick Ballin, the guy who owns this bar and who's on a throne.
[00:05:42] Getting his dick sucked by guys.
[00:05:44] And by the way, he's sucking their dicks too.
[00:05:47] Not Stavros Alchias.
[00:05:48] That's the gay.
[00:05:49] It's not the gay.
[00:05:50] You can't see his face because you're in the announcer booth.
[00:05:53] I know him.
[00:05:54] I'm kind of in charge of everything.
[00:05:56] You can only see his ass.
[00:05:57] I can't see his ass.
[00:05:59] He's not here.
[00:06:01] Which the only person that hasn't seen Stav's ass is Stav himself.
[00:06:05] That's not Stav.
[00:06:06] So Stav, that's why Stav can't recognize himself.
[00:06:09] It's actually Nick again.
[00:06:11] He's on the throne.
[00:06:12] He's sucking cock.
[00:06:13] I'm on the throne.
[00:06:14] Looking down at a fucking cock and getting his cocks on.
[00:06:16] And a pig man sucks.
[00:06:17] Stavs overseeing his restaurant that's making a lot of money selling come to gay guys.
[00:06:22] In fact, our number one questioner is Nick.
[00:06:25] They went out of business.
[00:06:26] Nick is actually, I mean, he is not ours.
[00:06:29] Years ago.
[00:06:30] They went out of business.
[00:06:32] He's the guy who goes there the most for comp burgers.
[00:06:35] They went out of business years ago.
[00:06:37] No, they did.
[00:06:38] He's rich.
[00:06:39] He's getting pussy when this body.
[00:06:40] Not understand.
[00:06:41] Not read and hear.
[00:06:42] We're being gay.
[00:06:43] Not understanding how he did.
[00:06:44] He can't just go and drink all of the cum at his own restaurant.
[00:06:47] He's never drank a cum.
[00:06:49] He's gotten pussy.
[00:06:51] Please start the music again.
[00:06:54] I wish I had access to starting the music.
[00:06:57] You don't have access to starting the music.
[00:07:00] I'm gay.
[00:07:02] I'm not Stav.
[00:07:04] I'm the gay DJ that Nick sucks his cocks sometimes.
[00:07:08] I don't know you be a DJ if you can't control the music.
[00:07:11] Well, that's a design flaw because Nick designed the restaurant.
[00:07:14] That sounds like he put a lot of gay shit here, but not a lot of electronics that were.
[00:07:19] It sounds like you're just pretending to be.
[00:07:23] You're pretending to be.
[00:07:25] I was pretending to be.
[00:07:31] Yeah, go ahead.
[00:07:32] Work that out.
[00:07:33] I don't really think that's been explored, Mike.
[00:07:36] Let's get back to that.
[00:07:37] I'm going to write a declaration of independence.
[00:07:40] I'm going to do my own damn thing.
[00:07:43] I don't know if you're a f**king...
[00:07:46] I don't need no f**king monarch.
[00:07:48] That is that email where you think you're going to save the relationship after it's over.
[00:07:53] By the way, King George, we can all go back to how it was.
[00:07:57] Just stop taxing us.
[00:07:59] He's like, fuck you.
[00:08:01] You're like, well, I'm going to do my own thing.
[00:08:03] I don't even care.
[00:08:04] I'm going to take my chances with these f**king Indians and French motherf**kers and whoever
[00:08:08] the f**k.
[00:08:09] The trappers killing beavers up north.
[00:08:14] Yeah, all those lesbians up there in Canada.
[00:08:17] In Canada and f**king, I guess, whatever.
[00:08:19] The French and Indian War, that was a battle over who gets to control of the horde of dirty
[00:08:23] socks and diapers.
[00:08:25] Mm-hmm.
[00:08:26] The two smelly is...
[00:08:28] The two smelly is...
[00:08:29] That's gold to them.
[00:08:31] You've been really...
[00:08:33] You've been really mean to the first persons.
[00:08:36] Well, no, no, no.
[00:08:37] This is a different...
[00:08:38] This is a word play, Adam.
[00:08:40] I know.
[00:08:41] I know.
[00:08:42] It was a battle over those precious resources.
[00:08:45] A dirty guy.
[00:08:49] A bunch of stinky socks.
[00:08:52] I was in a cat once.
[00:08:54] All of their boats are all stink-powered.
[00:08:57] The sales just have stink lines going...
[00:09:00] It's the green lines.
[00:09:01] They don't need air.
[00:09:03] They don't need a breeze.
[00:09:04] They create it with stink.
[00:09:06] It's a drill.
[00:09:07] Where did you find that song?
[00:09:09] It's called Sock Me Disco.
[00:09:13] It's called...
[00:09:15] Hey, disco music?
[00:09:16] Sock me disco.
[00:09:17] That's awesome.
[00:09:18] I don't think that's gay.
[00:09:19] Look at the picture.
[00:09:20] It's really gay.
[00:09:21] Oh, hell yeah.
[00:09:22] No, man.
[00:09:23] Yeah, I'm good.
[00:09:24] Could I fuck that lady or a person?
[00:09:26] Well, she sucks your dick, dude.
[00:09:27] That would be awesome.
[00:09:28] The tiger lady with huge tits.
[00:09:30] That would honestly be so fucking cool.
[00:09:32] Yeah.
[00:09:33] That would make my day to get my dick sucked by a lady.
[00:09:36] The tiger lady with huge tits.
[00:09:38] Fine, animal.
[00:09:39] I don't give a fuck.
[00:09:40] It looks like a woman with big tits.
[00:09:42] Yeah, it could be an animal's consciousness.
[00:09:44] I don't give a fuck.
[00:09:45] Yeah, but what if it kills you?
[00:09:46] I would be scared that it would try and chop down on my prick.
[00:09:49] Yeah.
[00:09:50] It's tiger instincts would take over.
[00:09:51] I wouldn't risk it personally.
[00:09:53] I would have to...
[00:09:55] Maybe it...
[00:09:57] Hold its face open and fuck it that way.
[00:10:00] So that it has no use of its teeth.
[00:10:03] Yeah.
[00:10:04] Make some kind of...
[00:10:06] Some kind of governor.
[00:10:07] This is cool.
[00:10:13] Doying.
[00:10:14] What's this?
[00:10:17] Video President G speaking at respect.
[00:10:22] A keynote speech.
[00:10:24] Respect.
[00:10:25] What's keynote?
[00:10:26] It's the fucking most important note, bro.
[00:10:29] Is it?
[00:10:30] I don't know where the word comes from.
[00:10:31] I think it literally means that.
[00:10:33] If you're playing something, it's the note that stands out.
[00:10:36] It's the note that sets the key.
[00:10:38] But why is this speech a keynote speech?
[00:10:40] Because it's the fucking most important note.
[00:10:42] You know, the music is in the key of...
[00:10:44] Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:45] My dick and balls.
[00:10:46] Yeah.
[00:10:47] Which is not small.
[00:10:48] It's not small.
[00:10:49] It's not the key.
[00:10:50] It's not the key.
[00:10:51] It's me.
[00:10:52] His dick and balls are the side of the house.
[00:10:54] It's a...
[00:10:55] No, it's the side of a fucking key when you give the key to the city to a famous athlete or a kid that beat cancer.
[00:11:00] Stoves dick kind of looks...
[00:11:02] It's the size of a house key.
[00:11:04] It's a very similar to a rape whistle.
[00:11:07] It's not...
[00:11:08] It has nothing.
[00:11:09] Stoves a hold of a...
[00:11:10] A, the size is wrong.
[00:11:11] B, the other connotations are all wrong.
[00:11:13] I think somebody's raping you, man.
[00:11:15] It's not small and it's consensual.
[00:11:16] Quick blow on this whistle for help.
[00:11:18] She's like, you're the one holding me down.
[00:11:20] And he goes, it doesn't matter.
[00:11:22] That's not what I would say.
[00:11:23] You have to blow the rape whistle to protect yourself.
[00:11:25] I would never be in that situation.
[00:11:26] I'm trying to protect you.
[00:11:27] I am not a rapist.
[00:11:28] And furthermore, my dick is not shaped or nor is it the size of a whistle.
[00:11:33] It's any kind.
[00:11:34] Unless there's a nicely sized cock whistle.
[00:11:37] And then it's the shape of that cock whistle.
[00:11:40] What is that?
[00:11:41] I don't know.
[00:11:42] You could...
[00:11:43] In theory...
[00:11:44] Sounds like somebody's been a lot of time googling different types of cock whistles.
[00:11:47] No, I haven't.
[00:11:48] To suck a whistle that makes noise when you suck on it.
[00:11:50] Those straight...
[00:11:51] I've never said that.
[00:11:53] You're exposing yourself.
[00:11:55] No.
[00:11:56] Those types of thoughts.
[00:11:57] I've hacked your computer.
[00:11:58] You have not.
[00:11:59] And I'm going through...
[00:12:00] There's a lot of...
[00:12:01] No, you haven't.
[00:12:02] There's a lot of icing to get through in the wires.
[00:12:05] That's what I get.
[00:12:06] I think inside the wires.
[00:12:08] I'm looking at the search history.
[00:12:10] I'm looking at the search history.
[00:12:11] I'm going to hold on.
[00:12:12] Let me just wipe off the wires and blow off the Cheeto dust.
[00:12:17] And there's the number one search whistle you can suck on that looks like a dick and also
[00:12:21] tastes like food.
[00:12:22] Well, that's what gay guys used to do before grind there.
[00:12:25] So now I'm the one sucking on the whistle.
[00:12:28] And it tastes like food.
[00:12:30] So it's something I'm using to beat off.
[00:12:33] No longer is my dick small and whistle shaped.
[00:12:35] I want to suck on dick whistles now.
[00:12:37] Oh, and then here the second search is the same thing.
[00:12:40] But in the end it says, for guys with whistle sized dicks.
[00:12:44] First of all, you ever see those train whistles?
[00:12:49] A normal dick.
[00:12:50] A normal...
[00:12:51] That's what my dick looks like.
[00:12:53] It's kind of a...
[00:12:54] It's kind of a...
[00:12:55] Rectangular, you would say.
[00:12:56] But for cell phones and...
[00:13:01] The size of a regular whistle but rectangular.
[00:13:04] Oh, okay.
[00:13:05] No.
[00:13:06] Gay guys used to have to blow a cock whistle, right?
[00:13:08] Which was at a frequency that only other gay guys could hear.
[00:13:11] Like a dog whistle.
[00:13:12] Right.
[00:13:13] And then you'd know if there were other gay guys in the room.
[00:13:15] That's awesome.
[00:13:16] Because before grinder, like in grinder you say, oh, there are 14 gay guys in this room.
[00:13:21] Right.
[00:13:22] But previously you have to use it.
[00:13:23] Hold on.
[00:13:24] Let me pull up grinder.
[00:13:25] Just to check to keep myself safe.
[00:13:27] I don't want to even download it because then I'd find out if I was in the room or not.
[00:13:32] Yeah.
[00:13:33] That's the worst part of grinder that tells you you're gay.
[00:13:36] Luckily you're telling me I'm straight.
[00:13:38] Yeah.
[00:13:39] I can't even download it.
[00:13:41] You're too scared.
[00:13:42] It don't reveal that you're gay.
[00:13:43] It's too scary.
[00:13:44] That six months I was selling weed, I was thinking about downloading grinder to...
[00:13:52] Shall we...
[00:13:55] Because I feel like they wouldn't tattle on...
[00:13:57] What if you got raped?
[00:13:58] On other people on grinder.
[00:13:59] What?
[00:14:00] What if you got raped?
[00:14:01] But then I thought, oh, there's probably a ton of cops on grinder, you know, on the down low.
[00:14:04] Yeah.
[00:14:05] So then I didn't do it.
[00:14:07] What if I got raped for...
[00:14:09] What if you got raped?
[00:14:10] I don't think that's a negative stereotype about the community.
[00:14:14] I'm not saying it's about...no, no.
[00:14:16] I'm not saying...I'm saying you're a rapeable guy.
[00:14:18] I'm not making any kind of aspersions against the homosexual community.
[00:14:22] No, I was just telling people...
[00:14:24] I'm just saying, what if they thought you were making a real connection?
[00:14:27] Yeah.
[00:14:28] And then you fucking pull the rug out from under them.
[00:14:35] You hear that one?
[00:14:37] I didn't hear it.
[00:14:38] Just in case you're doing a bit, where only gay guys can hear things, I can't...
[00:14:43] No, hear that, no.
[00:14:45] Have you heard anything?
[00:14:48] Unless this is the pussy getting frequency.
[00:14:51] In which case I did hear it.
[00:14:53] Yeah.
[00:14:56] This is too fraud.
[00:14:57] He's trying to make me shit.
[00:14:58] No, that's the sound of my dick getting hard.
[00:15:00] It's so not...
[00:15:04] It's like a submarine going through a trench.
[00:15:08] Yeah, I remember the first time I couldn't hear one of those...
[00:15:18] You know those noise-making things they have to keep teenagers away?
[00:15:23] No.
[00:15:24] The mosquitoes, they make them to prevent teens from loitering.
[00:15:28] Because teens still have that frequency.
[00:15:30] They can hear, yeah.
[00:15:31] There was one of them in one of the metro stations.
[00:15:34] Wait, really?
[00:15:35] Did you see?
[00:15:36] Did you see anything?
[00:15:38] Yeah.
[00:15:39] That's funny.
[00:15:40] They didn't want the gay teen gang to check it to show up.
[00:15:45] And loitering.
[00:15:46] Oh, I remember checking it.
[00:15:47] Do you remember checking it?
[00:15:48] Yeah, we were at war with them, like my gang, the straight guys.
[00:15:53] A losing battle.
[00:15:55] Well, you guys got brutalized sexually by checking it.
[00:15:58] How about a gang for straight guys only?
[00:16:01] Uh-huh.
[00:16:02] And it's called the Aryan...
[00:16:04] The other hood.
[00:16:06] Straight hood.
[00:16:07] Everyone focuses on the Aryan part.
[00:16:10] Right.
[00:16:11] You don't realize that they're gay.
[00:16:12] It was a joke.
[00:16:13] Right.
[00:16:14] In Baltimore, everyone claimed that there was a gay gang called the Pink Stars.
[00:16:18] Yeah, but that was an urban.
[00:16:20] But I believe it was an urban myth because it was like, you better watch out if they catch you.
[00:16:24] They'll suck you off.
[00:16:25] Oh, wow.
[00:16:26] It was like literally the kind of, what I was saying about, don't you worry about getting raped.
[00:16:29] They claimed they raped the guy on the light rail.
[00:16:31] Oh, God.
[00:16:32] Can you hear that one?
[00:16:34] It doesn't sound good.
[00:16:35] Yeah, I can hear it.
[00:16:37] It's a dog whistle.
[00:16:39] That means I'm a dog.
[00:16:40] We should play this every episode.
[00:16:43] People probably would really like it, bro.
[00:16:46] It's very unpleasant.
[00:16:48] But imagine if it was just every show, we just said this, and we don't explain it.
[00:16:54] Until somebody shoots up, you know, like something.
[00:17:00] There would have to be violence that would happen.
[00:17:02] Yeah, funny moms.
[00:17:03] Oopsie Daisy.
[00:17:04] Oopsie.
[00:17:05] Oopsie Daisy.
[00:17:07] I almost turned off the dog whistle there.
[00:17:10] Oh, man.
[00:17:11] Oh, all right.
[00:17:12] I'm sorry.
[00:17:14] Well, the McDonald's breakfast is back.
[00:17:18] Really?
[00:17:19] That's what you said.
[00:17:21] This morning until 11 a.m.
[00:17:24] I know.
[00:17:25] And then it'll be gone.
[00:17:26] Forever.
[00:17:27] Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up, 5 a.m. and I'll say to myself, well, McDonald's breakfast is
[00:17:32] back.
[00:17:33] Right.
[00:17:34] And then it goes away all over again.
[00:17:37] Wow.
[00:17:38] That's my big joke around the office.
[00:17:40] I got an office job, by the way.
[00:17:42] Really?
[00:17:43] At the Staples corporate office.
[00:17:48] Staples?
[00:17:49] Staples.
[00:17:50] Staples.
[00:17:51] It's like Staples, but for bitches.
[00:17:55] Nice.
[00:17:57] Name April.
[00:17:58] Yeah.
[00:17:59] Staples.
[00:18:00] Staproloneal.
[00:18:01] Who is a trans friend of the Ninja Turtles who got their dick cut off.
[00:18:06] They got their dick stapled to their balls to make sure of a pussy.
[00:18:10] Staproloneal.
[00:18:12] In that way, you kind of put your dick between the dick.
[00:18:15] Kind of like, let me draw it out.
[00:18:17] Leonardo's always like, hey, hey, hey zipper.
[00:18:21] Come over here.
[00:18:22] He's always calling me like, hey, stitches.
[00:18:24] You kind of have to fuck their pussy horizontally.
[00:18:28] It couldn't go in because you would have to fuck the hole between the tape.
[00:18:32] You would stable the cock head to the balls and leaving sort of a space in between.
[00:18:38] Oh, yeah.
[00:18:39] Almost like kind of like a bone arrow.
[00:18:41] Damn, I wish I had a trans friend who had red hair and a yellow jumpsuit.
[00:18:45] So you could call them Staproloneal.
[00:18:47] Who the hell is this?
[00:18:49] Staproloneal.
[00:18:50] And they're like, what are you talking about?
[00:18:52] I'm assuming it's something I said.
[00:18:55] It's a one eighth joke, I said.
[00:19:02] Remember the name of the channel.
[00:19:04] And you look like April O'Neill.
[00:19:07] So we're going to call you Staproloneal.
[00:19:09] I would love to fuck some of them.
[00:19:11] Looks like April O'Neill.
[00:19:12] No matter what their pussy or penis looks like.
[00:19:15] Well, I like that she's in the media.
[00:19:17] I told you that story about like 10 years ago pretending to be William Forsyth on Twitter.
[00:19:25] Who's William Forsyth?
[00:19:27] He's a character actor.
[00:19:28] From Star Trek or something?
[00:19:29] No.
[00:19:30] Did you pretend to be on Star Trek?
[00:19:32] Did you pretend to be somebody on Star Trek?
[00:19:34] No, I didn't.
[00:19:35] I used to just talk to the Chinese guy from Voyager all the time.
[00:19:38] That's right.
[00:19:39] That's what I'm thinking of.
[00:19:42] So you're pretending to be William Forsyth?
[00:19:45] Yeah.
[00:19:47] And then I guess some cop guy he knew in Long Island was like, this account is under investigation.
[00:19:53] You know, because he's like somebody's pretending to be me on Twitter and like fucking like talk to the police.
[00:20:00] He called the police.
[00:20:02] Yeah.
[00:20:03] We're still trying to get Twitter to shut down the account.
[00:20:07] And then I was tweeting at the woman who played April O'Neill in the movie.
[00:20:12] Like the first Ninja Turtles movie.
[00:20:15] Because I don't think she's really been in anything other than that.
[00:20:17] Probably not.
[00:20:18] I don't think so.
[00:20:19] And I tweeted at her.
[00:20:20] I was like, you are my favorite actress.
[00:20:28] She was like, thank you.
[00:20:29] I've been an admirer of yours.
[00:20:31] Oh, yeah.
[00:20:32] And then that cop guy was like, attention, Mrs. O'Neill.
[00:20:36] This account is an apostre account under criminal investigation.
[00:20:41] It would have been awesome.
[00:20:42] And then she's like, thank you.
[00:20:44] Is there anything else I should do?
[00:20:46] And he's like, no, stand by.
[00:20:49] Dude, it would have been so cool if you got William Forsyth pussy from April O'Neill though.
[00:20:54] Dude, I would love that.
[00:20:55] I hope you did.
[00:20:56] That would have been really tight.
[00:20:57] If Forsyth was a hard day savage, he would have tried to slide in there.
[00:21:01] Yeah.
[00:21:02] This is the real one.
[00:21:03] And then Wallen fucking her being like, it's hard to believe I was masturbating to you when I was four years old.
[00:21:09] And here I am.
[00:21:11] Ball's deep and you're old pussy.
[00:21:14] Who would have thunk it?
[00:21:17] I don't think you would be able to get pussy from her.
[00:21:21] Why?
[00:21:22] Because I'm saying the real William Forsyth should have seen that and gotten pussy from her.
[00:21:27] Because you don't look like William Forsyth.
[00:21:29] Yeah, he's just said, man, this is an imposter, but I hear you respect me in my career.
[00:21:34] I'm handsome enough.
[00:21:36] I feel like I could keep my mouth shut long enough to not ruin it with my mom.
[00:21:39] You just don't look like him though.
[00:21:41] It doesn't matter.
[00:21:42] I don't need to look like him.
[00:21:43] I'd be like, actually, I was tricking you.
[00:21:46] I'm an even more beautiful individual.
[00:21:49] Oh, this is William Forsyth.
[00:21:51] Okay.
[00:21:52] It looks like maybe his wife is a redhead or maybe he was just in a picture with a bitch that's redhead.
[00:21:57] What if he was bald and really fat and his name was William Forskin?
[00:22:02] He was missing a tooth?
[00:22:04] Yeah.
[00:22:05] He really couldn't get pussy from April O'Neill.
[00:22:08] I don't see.
[00:22:09] He even more.
[00:22:10] That doesn't mean that's an answer.
[00:22:11] He even more and he did go to jail for impersonating himself.
[00:22:15] Why would he do that?
[00:22:16] Yeah, Nick's just asking what if.
[00:22:17] I'm saying what if.
[00:22:19] I don't think that would necessarily preclude him from getting pussy from April O'Neill.
[00:22:25] I'm going to have a little Andy Rooney Dennis Miller moment here, but what the fuck is going on with all the Milano cookies being the mint kind?
[00:22:34] Oh, yeah.
[00:22:35] How about, how about a notice?
[00:22:37] How about mint fucks off outside of thin mints?
[00:22:40] That's bullshit.
[00:22:41] Everything other than thin mints can suck my ass.
[00:22:44] You know, every once in a while, I don't have a problem with a mint situation.
[00:22:47] Of course you don't.
[00:22:49] Why?
[00:22:50] Because you're a, you know, I mean, do I have to?
[00:22:54] No, I don't want to be forced to say it.
[00:22:57] A cool guy.
[00:22:58] I don't want to say it.
[00:22:59] Oh, wait, this bitch from the first one?
[00:23:01] Oh, yeah, she's not that hot.
[00:23:02] I feel like you could fuck her.
[00:23:03] I feel like I could fuck her, honestly.
[00:23:05] How old is she?
[00:23:06] She's a Judith Hall hoke.
[00:23:08] 87 years old.
[00:23:10] Her name is Judith Hall.
[00:23:11] Oh, yeah.
[00:23:12] Hogue.
[00:23:13] It's like Hogue.
[00:23:14] I got a fucking hog.
[00:23:15] Like sandwich.
[00:23:16] She's got a big old Italian cold cut pussy for you.
[00:23:21] Oh, you're a homie.
[00:23:23] Nice.
[00:23:24] Long, chillin.
[00:23:25] Slimey pussy.
[00:23:26] Let me throw a little fucking sandwich oil on that shit.
[00:23:30] You're like, where's the hole?
[00:23:32] Like, just swipe it.
[00:23:33] Just swipe it.
[00:23:34] Please, just swipe.
[00:23:36] Just swipe your dick up and down.
[00:23:37] She was an army getting, apparently.
[00:23:40] Oh, wow.
[00:23:41] Well, arm getting that pussy.
[00:23:44] I'm armed in getting that pussy.
[00:23:47] Now, suck the rape whistle.
[00:23:50] Suck this little little bitch.
[00:23:53] The whistle will go woo-woo.
[00:23:56] Suck my penis.
[00:24:01] Judith Hogue.
[00:24:02] Now, let's just go ahead and do Judith Hogue nude.
[00:24:05] All right.
[00:24:06] Wouldn't you know it.
[00:24:07] She's in a couple of things with her fucking little titties.
[00:24:10] I don't respect.
[00:24:11] Blow my whistle, baby.
[00:24:13] That's me every time I get pussy.
[00:24:19] She was in Blo-woo-woo-woo, baby.
[00:24:22] She was in a movie called Cart-N-Vong.
[00:24:24] And you can see her breasts.
[00:24:27] Yo, go on with some nuts.
[00:24:31] Judith Hogue, giving me head.
[00:24:35] Open up and put it in.
[00:24:38] Let's begin.
[00:24:41] Wow.
[00:24:42] Welcome to Bullitt's, which Judith Hogue,
[00:24:44] I hear it moments.
[00:24:46] We're all the gay guys are dressed like April O'Neill
[00:24:48] and sucking each other's cocks.
[00:24:51] Let's begin.
[00:24:55] Oh, there's Donatello.
[00:24:57] There's Raphael.
[00:24:59] And he's got those little daggers,
[00:25:01] but they all have dildos on the edges.
[00:25:04] And we're fucking each other in the ass.
[00:25:06] This man is up.
[00:25:10] There's our, oh, there's Nick.
[00:25:12] Everybody waves the Nick ball and the owner of Mullins.
[00:25:15] He's got fucking Leonardo's staff up his ass completely.
[00:25:19] Which one's Leonardo the yellow one?
[00:25:21] He's the main one, the blue one.
[00:25:23] The blue one.
[00:25:24] I mean, he's the main one.
[00:25:26] He's like kind of the leader.
[00:25:28] Whoa, who is this one?
[00:25:29] So I'm looking up Judith Hogue nude and then all of a sudden,
[00:25:32] these fat titties come up and I don't really know who they belong to.
[00:25:35] Hold on.
[00:25:38] A pair of tits.
[00:25:42] Who is this?
[00:25:45] Mr. Skin.
[00:25:48] This is not true.
[00:25:49] I don't get any news he wasn't expecting.
[00:25:51] He's like, oh, yeah, he does a spit take out of that.
[00:25:55] Because you did shit.
[00:25:56] Remember that?
[00:25:57] It's just, it's just, it's a first a bunch of like, cum and then it goes all over.
[00:26:02] One of the Jewish friends.
[00:26:04] That's true.
[00:26:05] And they're like a very funny Adam.
[00:26:07] Good one.
[00:26:08] And then it, then more cum sprit.
[00:26:10] Yeah, cream pie.
[00:26:11] And then shit.
[00:26:12] Oh, shit cum.
[00:26:13] That's right.
[00:26:14] That's the one I was trying to think.
[00:26:16] I think I do.
[00:26:17] Yeah.
[00:26:18] That's it.
[00:26:19] Yeah, it's a comically large amount of cum.
[00:26:22] It takes an hour to have a sprit.
[00:26:25] It's not funny anymore.
[00:26:27] It's not funny.
[00:26:28] Yeah, I was just, you know, I was just welcome.
[00:26:30] I want to hear you.
[00:26:32] Welcome to Mullen.
[00:26:34] Don't even try.
[00:26:36] Don't even fucking try it.
[00:26:38] Welcome to Mullen.
[00:26:39] Don't even you.
[00:26:42] All right.
[00:26:44] I'll stand by and stand by.
[00:26:46] I'm going to get Irish bar and would have a game.
[00:26:49] Well, I thought I was, I told you about the faggoties sketch.
[00:26:53] Right.
[00:26:54] Right.
[00:26:55] That's good.
[00:26:56] I'm thirsty.
[00:26:57] Jesus fucking Christ.
[00:27:00] Can I help you fellas?
[00:27:03] No.
[00:27:04] We don't have any of those kind of drinks.
[00:27:07] We got Heineken and fucking Budweiser.
[00:27:10] That's it.
[00:27:11] That's all we have.
[00:27:12] They got Michelobaltra.
[00:27:13] Oh, Guinness?
[00:27:14] No Guinness.
[00:27:16] Wow.
[00:27:17] Not for you.
[00:27:18] You saved Gorges the Guinness from the gay guys.
[00:27:23] It must be really nice to like, you know, leave your shit hole small town.
[00:27:30] Your dad hates you because you're gay.
[00:27:33] You leave with pennies in your pocket.
[00:27:36] You know, just start getting a lot of stuff.
[00:27:38] How was that?
[00:27:39] That happened to happen?
[00:27:40] You get on a, and you're like, oh, what my pennies?
[00:27:43] You get it.
[00:27:44] Finally, I can go be gay with all my pennies.
[00:27:46] I can go kiss my pennies and suck your guys' penis.
[00:27:49] You know, you arrive.
[00:27:50] You see the statue of Liberty.
[00:27:52] You're on the boat.
[00:27:53] You're on the stand.
[00:27:54] I'm figuring this out.
[00:27:55] You're in the stand.
[00:27:56] You're in the stand.
[00:27:57] You see Lady Liberty.
[00:27:58] Wow.
[00:27:59] I'm going to suck so much fucking.
[00:28:01] You look over to the Italian, the immigrant peasant Italian family next to you and you're
[00:28:06] looking at the statue of you say, wouldn't it be great if instead it was a guy and you
[00:28:09] could see his day.
[00:28:10] I'm like, I'm Bobo the baby.
[00:28:13] About it, Bobo the baby, Bobo the baby.
[00:28:15] Bobo Boobie Bobo.
[00:28:16] They're like, I'm sorry.
[00:28:19] Our father is mentally retarded.
[00:28:22] He only, he can only make a beepy boopie noises.
[00:28:26] He's retarded from catching HIV and it's destroyed his brain.
[00:28:36] So really?
[00:28:38] World War European everyone has a
[00:28:47] Gay condiment
[00:28:49] It is we came to America to escape
[00:28:54] The gay continent and here we are now. There's a big statue with the penis out
[00:29:00] I bet you I bet you you let you let those Democrats run wild. They're gonna do that
[00:29:08] They're absolutely they're gonna put they're gonna keep it a lady and just give her a pink give her a cock
[00:29:13] Yeah, yeah, which secretly her face always little you know
[00:29:16] They really should be they should replace the Statue of Liberty with that bigger version of the defiant girl statue
[00:29:22] But she's got a dick and it's hard and it's pointing. Yeah, and it says go away
[00:29:27] Okay, but it's anti-immigrant
[00:29:31] Yeah, well it's pointing towards Europe
[00:29:34] Right and then the ass is pointing towards Mexico and it says come on in
[00:29:40] Okay, it says be in Vinitos on the asshole
[00:29:48] Yeah
[00:29:50] On the statue coming out of the ass is a hot wheels racetrack with the loop-de-loop
[00:29:56] Yeah, and then that goes to like an outline of Mexico. That's a part of the statue got you
[00:30:02] So there's sort of been it looks like the copper tone girl. Yes over the big dick pointing to Europe that says
[00:30:09] Fuck off Europeans fuck off Northern Europeans, right? Yeah, thank you. Yeah, Aktung
[00:30:16] Aktung, we're both in the night grief
[00:30:21] Yeah, Sheldon Sheldon housing by good and valido book
[00:30:26] To do the Holocaust and then have 43 letter words that mean a feeling great screw them
[00:30:34] What do you mean maybe they're so emotionally intelligent that they could understand oh, yeah, they're emotionally intelligent
[00:30:40] What why it became necessary? No, they
[00:30:43] Come on. No, I mean look not right whales are whales have more emotional intelligence than humans. Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay
[00:30:51] Do and guess they sing those sad songs when they don't get pussy
[00:30:58] Like they want krill or something no, they're sad. They don't get pussy
[00:31:01] Yeah, there's a lonely whale that was singing that song and it wasn't me by the way Nick's chill out and whales are
[00:31:07] Whales are often anti-seminate or no, they're not yeah, they are instinctively they are they know better that's bullshit
[00:31:15] They really even met Jews. Yeah, well, they know about the Dead Sea
[00:31:18] They know about the water and they're like why is what's why is this sea?
[00:31:22] The only place in the world that's uninhabitable for whales. Mm-hmm. Well checkmate. That's actually a Palestinian sea
[00:31:29] So now it's palestine
[00:31:31] Oh
[00:31:34] Now would it benefit since Palestine? Okay, now you're being the opposite of the
[00:31:40] Well, maybe you need to take that out with the whales because I they're like you can't explain it to them. They're an advanced species
[00:31:47] I know
[00:31:48] They're extra terrestrial. Mm-hmm. I do fucking you know it would be funny if
[00:31:54] If aliens existed yeah, right like the Prometheus aliens or whatever and they come to earth and like there's this whole thing
[00:32:02] They're like what are the aliens going to say and they're like a hyper until they intergalactic travel or whatever
[00:32:08] but they're also
[00:32:10] They're also they have a very sort of the dark sense of humor and they were like
[00:32:16] The you need to get rid of the juice and then they went back into space
[00:32:20] That would I just last to confuse just to see what happens. Yeah, just to see what I'll experiment
[00:32:27] Yeah, like they were watching and they were like man this Hitler guy almost that that would have been kind of the end of
[00:32:34] The world what if we went and we're like oh, yeah, that was the thing you should and then they leave they leave come back in like a hundred years
[00:32:41] Forget about us. Yeah. Oh
[00:32:44] We were fucking around
[00:32:47] psych
[00:32:48] Say psych
[00:32:51] People would run with it if aliens said I wouldn't I don't think anybody would do anything
[00:32:55] I think we'd be like wow those aliens are anti-Semites
[00:32:59] We'd have to read we'd have to spend a hundred years reading articles about how aliens are anti-Semites. Yeah, I think there's a couple people that are on the edge
[00:33:08] They just need a little part two going you know
[00:33:11] If alien
[00:33:15] It
[00:33:21] Came to
[00:33:28] Came here like let's say blew up, you know, whatever they did like Independence Day
[00:33:34] 100% without a doubt
[00:33:36] You we would have to read an article you wouldn't have to read it, but there would be an article about how aliens invading is rooted in white supremacy
[00:33:45] I think that's someone would find me there'd be some yeah alien supremacy versus humanity
[00:33:51] No, it wouldn't even be thought out. It would be like white people are the problem here. Yes
[00:33:58] Somehow the reaction the response the Prometheus aliens. Yeah, do you think it would galvanize us like an independence day?
[00:34:05] What's galvanized mean do you mean glaze or perhaps?
[00:34:09] Covered in some sort of like hard caramel. That's I don't maybe I don't
[00:34:14] But it's been called caramel is the closest thing to galvanize. Yeah, cuz it is a thing
[00:34:20] It's like a harden well, we'd have to choose when you say galvanize you're imagining peanut brittle item
[00:34:25] No, you were doing that and you're thinking of I am using a very
[00:34:30] Remember peanut normal were the means to fucking bring people together and harden which is rooted in whatever the
[00:34:37] You're in a tans in your head not you're having an audience way more than me
[00:34:41] You're just having a you're an audience you're fantasizing about waiting in line
[00:34:44] I why would that be part of the fantasy because then you get to build up the anticipation
[00:34:49] Okay, spoken like a guy who remembers when he was fat and killed the fat boy inside of him
[00:34:54] But he's still rageless and he still he's trying to fucking fucking pound his little fat boy
[00:35:00] Just wants to come out every day the fat little fat gay kid with the bull cut one is trying to get some like
[00:35:07] Projection to me not at all. I am a hundred percent is embracing his inner fact
[00:35:11] I have been the little fat kid has the controls in my body. What are you talking somebody sad on him years ago?
[00:35:17] No
[00:35:19] You've locked a little fat boy in a cage mines got the first at the top of the brain
[00:35:23] He's pushing all the buttons. No, I just learned moderation and now I can eat I can go on the ends whenever I want
[00:35:29] No, no chance. No, I do maybe once if that Bodega had mint
[00:35:34] For if didn't have had some kind of non mint Milano's you would have eaten the entire bag and point two seconds
[00:35:40] Of course because that why not that's not what moderation is yeah, but I only do that maybe once every three or four months
[00:35:48] No, we did that like last month when Adam wasn't here
[00:35:51] Yeah, and I won't do it again for another two or three months
[00:35:55] By virtue of them only having the mint Milano cookies. Oh, so you stock the Bodega with mint Milano's I don't have stocks
[00:36:06] You stock chicken stock
[00:36:10] Chickens I am protein chicken stock I like to sip it a taste and you put ness quick in there
[00:36:14] I don't like that you like you're like, oh, can I get my special chocolate milk?
[00:36:21] Man
[00:36:25] I
[00:36:31] Like
[00:36:33] I can't get my extras where am I ordering this? Yeah, can I get an orange soda and can I get my extra orange?
[00:36:44] Can I get my
[00:36:50] In your home, okay, that makes I'm wearing fake nails you're calling three one one. Oh, what's up girl girl
[00:36:57] Can you turn can you make can you blend us some hot pie Cheetos and chicken stock and a spray remix?
[00:37:06] I'm trying to have I need my
[00:37:10] All at once I we call that secretary few
[00:37:16] And I feedback whatever a secretary's passed out. Can I get my secretary?
[00:37:20] I'm sleepy. I need a coffee with 14 sugars in it. I need I need a sprite remix
[00:37:28] Blended up with some chicken with some panko breadcrumbs
[00:37:32] some hot pie Cheetos
[00:37:36] Couple of cigarettes
[00:37:38] And a Duncan Koolata cheese, sir, you know cha-ching
[00:37:43] Duncan Koolata none of the all the coffee taken out. Mm-hmm. Just cream just ice cream
[00:37:49] Look I want blue and get blue in half and half
[00:37:53] Excuse me. Oh, yes. I've been waiting in line for six and a half hours. Fuck. I got hiccups all of a sudden
[00:38:00] Oh, damn what happened? I don't know. Oh should I try to scare them out of you? Mm-hmm. Yeah, show me
[00:38:07] Yeah, here we go going on a diet
[00:38:11] I've been on a diet for months
[00:38:13] I say here we go. Yeah, you're walking around and there's a sign the escalator is out of order
[00:38:22] I value the opportunity to get more steps. Thank you very much
[00:38:26] I'm wearing my Fitbit as you can see you are. Yeah, here's a sign trucks warning 1% grade the head
[00:38:37] Um
[00:38:38] My uh, no, no not allowed to get pussy anymore
[00:38:42] Oh, that would put a frighten me
[00:38:48] I would be like
[00:38:51] That would be very funny imagine when stop uh stop this is it sort of looks like the death star firing is uh
[00:38:58] That's like uh destroying a planet. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what is because of the pressure. Oh, it's got a high velocity
[00:39:05] Well, so I've got a week show. Yes. It's a globe
[00:39:08] That's kind of a compliment honestly what well the circle part that's kind of an insult
[00:39:14] But the power of the death star is trying to figure out a way to combat compare them to the death star. Yeah
[00:39:20] Just sit on it man. A better opportunity will come on planet side ship
[00:39:25] Um
[00:39:27] That would be funny if stop got divorced from the boat
[00:39:32] I'm not married to the boat
[00:39:34] I was there married to the boat
[00:39:36] And I wouldn't marry the desert because there's all dudes on there
[00:39:39] The whole reason I'm married to the boat is because I get to fuck all the nurses on the boat
[00:39:43] No, but you covered this you have to fuck that part that is the weak spot where you know
[00:39:47] It's also covered as chocolate chocolate covered pretzels at stavas. He has in his pockets. I love
[00:39:54] Prestle
[00:39:57] That's one of my top tier snacks
[00:39:59] Is a really nice journalist stop arguing or something. We already chocolate covered pretzels. We already covered this
[00:40:06] Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. We already chocolate. We already covered this
[00:40:11] We already chocolate covered
[00:40:19] We already chocolate covered this
[00:40:22] I mean you can sit there and sprinkle in sprinkle in more details if you want
[00:40:25] But
[00:40:27] It's sort of a glazed that's sort of a glazed expression
[00:40:31] Yeah, I mean he's sitting there with his glazed over look in his eyes
[00:40:35] He's glazed many people would say that the president is glazed totally glazed the president is glazed
[00:40:41] Speaking of snacks and this kind of thing you guys see Biden throating a chocolate
[00:40:46] Of vanilla chocolate chip cone over the weekend. No way my man was deep throating. Oh, fuck a double big ass
[00:40:53] Yeah, sorry. I don't I don't have it a google alert for ice cream
[00:40:57] I'm fucking trying to cover it. I didn't see the ice cream. I'm sure I'm trying to start my side project
[00:41:03] This show's not gonna last forever and there's got to be an ice cream journalist out there. Yeah
[00:41:10] Oh, man
[00:41:12] He looked good, man. I was jealous that big ass fucking was he wearing the sunglasses? Of course
[00:41:17] Dude that sunglasses are so funny. They're just
[00:41:47] Ice cream
[00:41:56] You remember that Ricky Bobby song that came out around the same time. Yeah, the holiday nights. Yeah, yeah, that's that's awesome
[00:42:03] Was that hurricane Chris?
[00:42:05] Uh, no, it was like be hamper be dash or something
[00:42:08] There's a there's a shaky there's a shake it. Do do do do do the Ricky Bobby stop. Oh, I love this style of
[00:42:31] Yeah, it was a very autistic period of music started by a little Wayne, I guess
[00:42:35] Yeah with like uh with fireman. Yeah, it was the first song that's like about like sirens or
[00:42:42] Right and the music is sirens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[00:42:47] This guy's just tornado warning
[00:42:49] It's a
[00:43:19] She don't scare
[00:43:22] I
[00:43:24] Don't cut a little hole in the bathroom
[00:43:27] Fireman doesn't know I cut a hole in the yard. Oh, so I can drink his business. He's been
[00:43:31] Shh
[00:43:40] About the show's penis
[00:43:45] I'm trying to see the fireman's penis. I can't get on it if it's quiet
[00:43:51] I'm trying to drink the firemesh
[00:43:53] I'm trying to get a fireman that secretly put his penis in my mouth
[00:43:57] Oh, what accident
[00:44:18] He's posing his eyes
[00:44:20] I've never seen more make more at peace than right now
[00:44:31] Damn I would love to be that thing
[00:44:37] I mean, it's awesome your whole life you just
[00:44:40] You only work one day out of the month you scream and turn in a circle. Yeah, I could I would nail that
[00:44:46] Yeah, but you don't get to do anything on your day off. Okay, it's just I would be tall
[00:44:51] You don't get to go to the beach. I'd be above the entire town. You don't get to go to the beach
[00:44:55] You don't want to go to the beach. It's always a cloudy day here in
[00:45:00] Oklahoma, where is this? I hope it's neither one of those. I hope it's in a place called Adams gay
[00:45:07] It's probably well, it's probably I think I just looked at you and Adam's gay
[00:45:11] It's an Adam's gay. It's not a place in the United States
[00:45:14] Yes, it is. It's a place in Australia
[00:45:17] This one plays no sure they're called Adams gay. Yeah, Adams gay. It's next to a monthly test of my federal signal thunderbolt 1000
[00:45:25] Tornado siren. You got both the alert and attack functions were tests in this video matt in parentheses
[00:45:32] video game or two
[00:45:34] Two four three eight five did the honors for activating the alert cycle
[00:45:38] Oh man, that was the best day of matt's life. Yeah
[00:45:41] He did the honors Charlie Davidson
[00:45:46] Is he Pete Davidson's dad? Did he actually die?
[00:45:49] Yeah, because of the siren. Yeah, he's like people can't find out my dad some left my family to go play with signs
[00:45:57] So I made up my story about him dying
[00:46:00] 11 story
[00:46:02] In a way, I mean he was killed the but nine left viral virus were killed by sirens and that's really true
[00:46:09] Well
[00:46:11] If the sirens didn't go
[00:46:13] They wouldn't have known that to go to the Twin Tower
[00:46:17] So it's the sirens taddled on on the fucking terrorists they taddled on 9-11 happening to the firefighters
[00:46:25] Which caused them to which caused them to die. Yeah. Yep. So in a way, Pete Davidson isn't lying
[00:46:31] Right when he says his dad quote unquote died in 9-11
[00:46:35] That's so fucking true because really he's in Arizona having gay sex
[00:46:44] gamer one to five eight and tripping a bunch of
[00:46:47] Tripping a bunch of like in sirens. They have a bunch of switches and they're turning on sirens and even mushrooms together and they're in love
[00:46:56] They call themselves the Ben and jerry's of sirens. Yeah
[00:46:59] Which one's Ben which one's jerry? I guess it's a toss-up. It doesn't matter
[00:47:04] They flip a coin depends on who can fit more ice cream in their ass that morning
[00:47:09] The Bailey contest
[00:47:13] Ben's obviously on top because his name comes first. I see yeah
[00:47:18] That's how gay guys decide. Yeah, it's like pen and teller. Yeah, so pen fucks teller in the area in the wegie
[00:47:25] Ben and jerry
[00:47:27] Yep, stop ela is but more and sigfried in roy. Oh, you mean in a pair the top is named first
[00:47:34] Yeah, not that it's alphabetical. No. Oh, okay
[00:47:39] That makes sense. Yeah, what if they're versatile. I mean, it's usually not alphabetical
[00:47:45] Mario and Luigi not alphabet pen and teller alphabetical. That's true and jerry alphabetical. That's true sigfried and roy'd not alphabet
[00:47:53] Yeah, yeah, just by one letter that doesn't matter
[00:47:58] Then it's not alphabetical dude. Don't even try to
[00:48:02] Bring that up there trying to introduce some other class that's one of that is one of the greatest love stories ever told
[00:48:09] That is now what that is now over because what because of a tragic death because they bought a they bought a cat that was too big
[00:48:15] They survived these fucking race or they went through a tiger attack and they and they survived and and then
[00:48:22] And then cancer had to oh really? Yeah last year. Oh, they both lost vegas legends. No one of them died. I forgot roy
[00:48:34] Yeah, well, I got to defend my local heroes. Okay, can we keep Ben and jerry?
[00:48:39] Male duo mr. Las Vegas Wayne Newton frost Nixon
[00:48:45] Frost fuck makes oh my ass feels good. What do you fuck at frost?
[00:48:49] That kind of shit the ringling. Oh nice asshole mr. Ringling brothers and Barnum and Bailey Barnum and Bailey
[00:48:57] There's too many
[00:49:02] Brothers Barnum Bailey Jo Bob Jimmy and fucking Fred to me. So that was two different companies that merged
[00:49:09] They were brothers and Barnum and Bailey. Yeah
[00:49:12] Did they merge in our lifetime or wait before Barnum and Bailey were definitely I feel like yeah
[00:49:17] Circus's had a consolidated
[00:49:19] Honestly the best getting rough the best
[00:49:22] I just remember the ringling brothers the best type of human pairing I ever saw and I probably have a black sir ever
[00:49:27] We'll see the universe soul circles the universe soul circle was that couple at that first red scare live show that was just
[00:49:34] There was just in the front row
[00:49:35] There were there was a couple and it was a man and woman and both of them looked exactly like damey and echols
[00:49:42] And they were wearing like robes
[00:49:44] damey and echols was one of the kids from colin bond no he was one of the west manfist three oh one of the
[00:49:50] one of the okay I knew some 90s shit
[00:49:54] Dylan and eric Dylan and eric yeah
[00:49:56] Yeah
[00:49:57] You think Dylan roof would have done what he did oh nevermind they merged in 1919
[00:50:03] Tim and eric well kleebold had an eric and he still did what he did key and peel key and peel key and peel yeah
[00:50:12] uh
[00:50:14] Selena and Barnes Selena and Barnes another love story that's been broken up science Kirk and Miles no that was a a plane crash
[00:50:20] No, they were gonna break up anyway
[00:50:22] They were gonna break up anyway, but Barnes died a Barnes got got got by god or by Satan Selena
[00:50:29] You think Selena I don't want it allegedly
[00:50:33] Regis in catholic
[00:50:35] Yeah, yeah
[00:50:37] Those take it you fucking whore. Yeah, um
[00:50:43] See what is another captain and tenille captain or some other gay couples that we know
[00:50:49] Hmm
[00:50:51] Niggansaw Nick and adam
[00:50:53] But come on dude. It's clearly you guys. It's not you're clearly the gay couple
[00:50:58] I'm your fat friend that comes in and and gives you guys a break between the tension and your relationship
[00:51:03] The fantasies you have the delusional fantasies you have about yourself
[00:51:08] Were your attention breaker. Yeah, yeah, maybe surface tension. No, maybe a fucking cannonball coming
[00:51:16] We have some laughs you guys go back to your abusive gay relationship. Yeah, it's true
[00:51:20] No, me and him don't even speak
[00:51:22] You and adam well, we're in the same room. We say silent, but I think that's a mark. We're co-workers
[00:51:26] I think that's a marker of and i'm sort of
[00:51:29] sort of the michael jordan of the office and he's the
[00:51:32] The luke longley no the
[00:51:36] The saklina the sigfried I guess
[00:51:41] Dix ugly. Yeah, i'm sort of and we're in an office scenario to really walk this now. Yeah, let's hear it
[00:51:48] I'm sort of the shikilo kneel of the office and you're louishe
[00:51:55] but gay
[00:51:57] But you
[00:51:59] Gave louishe
[00:52:03] I don't think it's a blood I think it gets pussy forever
[00:52:06] There's a fake princess peach right with today a bird nerney
[00:52:10] Burden or nerney how that was that should be top of the list. Yeah, they should be number one
[00:52:15] Well, it's actually a list of the top carl and leony about that top of list listen leony and carl which which order would you put the leony and carl
[00:52:23] Yeah, okay. Hey home
[00:52:25] I
[00:52:28] We're trying to suck each other's cocks home
[00:52:32] Back to this feather thing. Yeah, let's get to it because we keep getting derailed
[00:52:38] That was as close to being a bit as this shows had and probably four and a half months years
[00:52:47] Literally years
[00:52:50] Uh fuck
[00:52:52] Um
[00:52:55] Did we say captain
[00:52:58] Yeah, I probably came up with that one. I think I said it first but no
[00:53:03] No
[00:53:06] What about Gilligan's island. Yeah, yeah
[00:53:10] I
[00:53:14] You know Gilligan's island. How about a show called Gilligan's penis
[00:53:17] Okay, yeah, oh, yeah
[00:53:24] How about that? Oh, we all know Gilligan's island. Hold on. Let me get to the premise here
[00:53:29] Yeah, what's the premise? It's about a bunch of people to get lost on his penis
[00:53:33] Wow and he the boat crashes and they have to live on his cock and he's got that big a dick
[00:53:38] Yeah, yeah, so Gilligan's not on the penis. No, he's he's dead. He's drowning. He's dead and his body's floating and they're all
[00:53:45] He looks like a dead beaver basically and his cocks
[00:53:49] You know so has his cock swollen up due to magic or something. Keep in mind. This is all the origin story of every native american culture
[00:53:57] again
[00:54:00] This is their their origin myth
[00:54:02] Is that Gilligan crash like crash the boat because his dick got caught in the wheel?
[00:54:08] And the boat driving wheel what the hell's going on with boats that they got this
[00:54:12] Thank you for asking this. Hey guy
[00:54:14] Where do they get this big wheel thing? Yeah massive pretending like that's necessary
[00:54:20] Yeah, give it a bunch. Give it a Ferrari and Ferrari fucking thing. Yeah, they're weird
[00:54:26] You know
[00:54:38] That's so fucking true
[00:54:42] What the fuck is this?
[00:54:45] Big the fucking wheel
[00:54:49] Give it a little bit of a Ferrari
[00:54:51] Give it the fucking wheel from a fucking Ferrari
[00:54:57] Over a land beguinea
[00:55:02] You look like a fucking asshole
[00:55:04] Wow
[00:55:05] Honestly though, I think maybe after watching peter pan
[00:55:09] I really wanted to fucking steer one of those when I was a little kid. Should I put one in the living room right here? Yeah, like a big
[00:55:15] Uh, I'm not gonna buy one on the wall. Yeah, an article team. There was captain
[00:55:21] We had we had a family friend one of the coolest one of the fucking nicest dudes on you who had a big
[00:55:28] You
[00:55:32] Yeah
[00:55:36] He was a really cool guy. Yeah, shout out to my boy
[00:55:39] My guy to meet today or Lando. That was his name
[00:55:45] Um, he had a big nautical theme his whole den he had like a boy's den where the where the bitches weren't allowed
[00:55:52] Oh, yeah, because he was a man. He had a man cave because he had his he had daughters. He didn't have any sons
[00:55:57] He was the only man in the house. Yeah, I wonder if I could have sex with them his daughters. Yeah
[00:56:01] Yeah, what they look like they're they're pretty ladies. They're grown now. They have children of their own
[00:56:07] I thought we could the children. No the women. That's how they had the kids
[00:56:11] Whoa, those are your kids if I'm under how many if I'm not understand correctly is it might not turned into people inside of them? Wow
[00:56:20] Oh, yeah, it would be you know be cool if there was no egg
[00:56:24] It was all not it was all not the bitch was just a bitch. You just a just a tube
[00:56:31] But the nut that pussy nothing but a easy bake up
[00:56:34] I
[00:56:36] Would love that dude if I had been a scientist back in the way they were discovering all that
[00:56:41] Just in the office and then there's like a female scientist is looking through the microscope. They're like hold on
[00:56:46] Some there's like an egg thing in front of the pussy sample
[00:56:50] And I'm like closing the door and like grodding her or whatever. Yeah, and then I'm just deleting the files
[00:56:59] Yeah, and then at the big conference being like
[00:57:01] uh
[00:57:02] Despite the tragic loss of a colleague in
[00:57:07] Who killed herself?
[00:57:09] Because she found out that the bitch does nothing
[00:57:13] And she was so sad. I tried to say to her at least the titties make milk. That's irrefutable
[00:57:18] Even though we are finding some research that is suggesting that that's just the comb that's been left in her body throughout her life
[00:57:26] I
[00:57:29] There are some exciting new studies. I tried to get into that direction
[00:57:34] I tried to console her
[00:57:36] And tell her that she had a lot to live for she could suck my dick for example
[00:57:41] She said no, I'm
[00:57:43] Convinced I have to kill myself now that that let's move the slide here so that we can see
[00:57:48] It's irrefutable now that the baby is entirely not
[00:57:52] And the ball night. It's a swit's a little baby swimming in a thing
[00:57:57] It's a microscopic baby and the bitch
[00:57:59] The bitch has to just keep it warm enough
[00:58:03] And it's not even really necessary and the way she keeps it warm is by sucking dick and drinking gum
[00:58:10] To warm the baby from the top
[00:58:15] Yep
[00:58:16] And
[00:58:17] We want to thank you again for inviting me to the world wide apple developer conference. I'll give the I'll give the floor back to mr
[00:58:24] Steve job
[00:58:27] So this is around like 1992
[00:58:37] Yeah, probably that was considered the keynote speech
[00:58:41] At that event yeah, well, it's just you kind of disrupting the way we look at childbirth
[00:58:50] And a woman's part part in it. I would love I was I've often said that it would be great if men had the tits
[00:58:57] Really because imagine if like women had like nothing
[00:59:01] They were just like a hundred and fifteen pound man with like not even with long hair no tits. Yeah
[00:59:08] They just look like
[00:59:10] like fucking like like
[00:59:15] Like DJ calls basically
[00:59:19] No egg no tits. Yeah, but I don't know men. I kind of like women have tits personally. Yeah, I'm a fan of it. Okay
[00:59:28] Yeah, sure, but that's because you're
[00:59:30] Colcated don't roll your eyes. That's because you've been brainwashed in the system or you think that that's something that shouldn't belong to you
[00:59:37] You're right, but I it's too late to change my my programming
[00:59:41] Yeah, and you just got to eat a lot of
[00:59:43] Got a bunch of mushrooms and drive around think about what if the guys said the tits
[00:59:48] But I want because you're pulling through red light cameras
[00:59:54] Dude, I'm too. I'm too set in my ways. I'll never change when it comes to the hell is red and green anyways
[01:00:00] If these were race if how come how come when it comes to skin color?
[01:00:04] Oh
[01:00:06] No, none of that stuff means anything right fucking
[01:00:10] right
[01:00:11] Your honor
[01:00:13] Throw this ticket out
[01:00:15] You're fucking your what your chinese or something to japanese
[01:00:19] We're on the same page here. They named one of the fucking light colors after you and you're gonna be on these cocksucker side
[01:00:26] I think they say every dog gets his day in the sun right every dog gets his day in the sun
[01:00:38] Black black guy did if I'm requesting a jury trial. I want a jury trial now
[01:00:45] I'm not lee I want to roll
[01:00:48] I'm feeling it. I want a trial. Let's get a jury right now right now my red light ticket
[01:00:53] I
[01:00:56] Don't even want to say red light right I'm gonna call it the white man light. Okay. What that's who's doing it
[01:01:03] Yeah, I'm actually Jewish so I don't care in this instance. I don't I'm not white
[01:01:09] They're going after what my people respect the most which is $50
[01:01:14] Plus and this is a real kicker a credit card convenience fee
[01:01:23] Right, that's bullshit. There we go
[01:01:27] He couldn't resist I hate it
[01:01:29] I'm with you and then they won another fucking $4 bullshit. It's and it's fake too
[01:01:35] What do you mean a convenient like I don't use a credit card in every other it's a scam
[01:01:40] Yeah, I use credit card all day long
[01:01:42] Mm-hmm
[01:01:43] My fucking convenience fee. I got something very convenient for you pal. Yes balls
[01:01:48] This fucking pair of nuts you can suck on visa. Let me ask you fella some how about a little bit of uh Thai food
[01:01:55] Thai food right now. Yeah, I before I came here, but I'd have like a snack. I'd have some summer rolls
[01:02:00] Maybe shrimp summer rolls maybe a little bit of peanut dipping sauce
[01:02:04] Now, you know, I'm all my fucking he's on his diet
[01:02:06] I'm all my diet shit. I'm about to have a Greek yogurt to power me through
[01:02:09] I had a since we're recording a little later. I had my salad before I came
[01:02:14] Yeah
[01:02:16] But I have a little stops actually having a James van der beak yogurt
[01:02:21] And it's a little bucket of cum that he got from James van der be
[01:02:24] And it says Dawson's first of all if I had a little bucket of James van der beaks come
[01:02:28] I would be stunning. I would be breathing stops stops shaking up his egg. It's time for my varsity blue cheese
[01:02:36] Yeah
[01:02:38] It's uh time for my Dawson's Greek yogurt
[01:02:42] I would be selling his com full circle. I would be selling this com fact. I should have gone that way the first time
[01:02:48] Yeah, that would have probably instead of instead of Dawson's Creek. What if it's Dawson's van der beak
[01:02:53] It's a great question. It's a show about his com
[01:02:56] That's a really interesting way to look at the whole situation. We all know Dawson's Creek
[01:03:04] What if it was
[01:03:06] One of the characters instead of his name being Percy. It was pussy pussy. I love that
[01:03:11] What if his name was pussy and he's like, I'm constantly on the verge of tears and I'm the worst character on the show
[01:03:18] Hey, uh, I haven't seen it. I'm gonna hand up. I haven't seen it. I won about uh, oh no
[01:03:23] It wasn't me lacunas. It was lissa melano
[01:03:27] And I was thinking I wish there was a
[01:03:30] A fat woman
[01:03:32] That looked like her so I could say what do we got a lissa melano cookies ever?
[01:03:36] Right. Yeah, dude. If you got if you find if you ever find a fat woman looks like a lissa melano
[01:03:41] I'm a brother. I'm very interested. What if she's as annoying as
[01:03:46] That's a tough one. Yeah, I don't want to have annoying opinion
[01:03:49] But if she's got that face and she's got to fucking some thick ties and some big old titties
[01:03:53] She can sign me up a lick of my cock. That's exactly where I was going with it
[01:03:58] Absolutely and that's we joke about a lot of stuff but rape is something we mean
[01:04:07] No, no, no, no, she can't elus a sucko my cocko. Yeah, but a consent. I'd like to solicit some nudes. Oh
[01:04:16] There ain't there's a bunch is there there you can see your titties above
[01:04:21] Still not
[01:04:23] Both my parents died before they gave me permission to watch our rated movies. So you're still not allowed
[01:04:29] Well, I'm kind of locked out. I'm locked out. Yeah, legally you're fucking stuck. You can't break those rules
[01:04:36] You're gonna go to jail
[01:04:41] I'm getting horny thinking about a girl
[01:04:45] This fucking chubby. Yeah
[01:04:47] A thicker melanin. I'm really honestly I could beat off to that just grabbing the fat of her pussy area and using it like a
[01:04:55] Handle the fucker ever do that move
[01:04:59] Right above the pussy
[01:05:01] Fucking rip that shit
[01:05:04] I'm more of a I'm more of a you know you hold from around a little just smash your head through the drywall
[01:05:11] I can't say that I've gone that for a Tennessee pile driver. Yeah, yeah
[01:05:17] Classic just slamming a bitch through a wall. Yeah, can you smell what the rock is cooking?
[01:05:24] And it's a baby without any of your help
[01:05:28] You're just a pot all you are is a fucking I'm the fucking stove and the pasta
[01:05:34] I'm like wrestling
[01:05:39] Yeah, yeah, in the middle of the ring before having sex
[01:05:44] When you come down here and I make a baby in your pussy don't think for a second
[01:05:50] Don't think for a second that your pussy is doing anything
[01:05:55] Except acting like a Manhattan mini storage
[01:05:59] For the baby making goo, which I have brought to you
[01:06:07] That's good man. Thanks. You should do that
[01:06:10] Pussy that'll show her it'll show her you should do the people's elbow into her pussy
[01:06:15] the people's penis
[01:06:18] The people what happened with kuomo is he's did nothing he fucking skated bro. Yeah, nothing the teflon Don. Yeah
[01:06:25] Yeah, he outlived everyone. Uh, I'm going back to telling women that they're cute
[01:06:34] And suggesting for hugs. I'm saying where's my hug
[01:06:39] It's very funny
[01:06:41] Who wins he uh wins you up for reelection
[01:06:44] Uh, he's not going to run again
[01:06:47] Instead he's going to gracefully
[01:06:49] Uh magnanimously retired to uh an auntie aunts where uh, they serve a little fat boy
[01:06:59] Pig sailor pig outfit a sailor pig. Yeah, that's you
[01:07:05] Yeah, I was imagining you is that rich ladies pet pig with the sailor boy outfit
[01:07:11] I don't remember such ridiculous notions. Don't you stick in my mind?
[01:07:15] Mm-hmm. So you can't call back to them because they're in one ear or right at the other pound. Yeah the pig ears
[01:07:22] No regular guy ears now you lift one ear up you whisper into it and the other one kind of flutters with the information
[01:07:30] And I forgot what you said already. I know you did
[01:07:33] No, I know that I know I know you do
[01:07:36] No, I know you do
[01:07:39] I knew it. I was one
[01:07:41] Now you're copying me that it's coming out of my ears. The only thing coming out of your ears is fat
[01:07:47] That is you're not I
[01:07:50] Leaking it's leaking out of your age
[01:07:53] And it's partial it's both come and the other thing I said I don't think it is
[01:07:59] But I don't remember what you said actually now. Yeah, I was listening. What were you doing?
[01:08:04] I was just kind of we think about rewatching silence of the lambs because I know that that's what popped into my head
[01:08:09] Really? Yeah, I might do a double feature this afternoon of silence in the lambs followed by bringing out the dead
[01:08:15] Oh, okay. Yeah, what's bringing out the dead? So this is of course AZ movie take it away at him with who?
[01:08:22] uh with Nick Cage and really and
[01:08:26] Mark Anthony Mark Anthony plays a hobo really Ving rain Ving rains
[01:08:31] All she plays an ambulance driver and hell it's weird. It's a very like it's very dated stylistically. Yeah, but
[01:08:38] uh, I don't watch it at all
[01:08:40] I loved it when I was a teenager
[01:08:42] Yeah, and then I watched it again when I was like maybe like 23 and I was like this movie sucks
[01:08:46] And then I watched you get my suck
[01:08:48] I watched it again like three or four years ago and I'm like, okay. It's a little better than I remember
[01:08:53] The last time but I'd have to watch it again because I really don't know how I feel about it
[01:08:58] I haven't seen it in years, but I think the last time I saw it. I didn't think it was one of score says his best
[01:09:03] Oh, Patricia our kit john goodman ving raim's tom size more
[01:09:07] Oh, well, I won't be watching it because Patricia our cat blocked me on twitter. What a bitch. Yeah for being correct by the way
[01:09:15] She's hot. She's a her and john chewsack both blocked me. They did. Yeah
[01:09:20] Probably because they're hooking up with each other. They are they're having sex and they're doing their little pillow talk thing where they gossip about comedians
[01:09:27] Yeah, I don't care if nix right. Mm-hmm. That's true. Yeah
[01:09:34] Yeah, it is weird because you think people are like, oh, I'm probably just on some block list. It's like no
[01:09:39] They're probably aware of who you are and they hate you
[01:09:43] Could be yeah, yeah, it's probably both
[01:09:45] Maybe a little column made a little column b. Oh, maybe a little bit. Well john chewsack is like he was a big fan of amber for a while
[01:09:52] Interesting. Oh, yeah, he's a socialist. Yeah, but he's probably not fucking
[01:09:56] In merston the shit he probably just saw some fucking gas article she wrote or something
[01:10:00] Yeah, well who knows but he did block me so you're on notice. Okay. You sack. Yep. Shoot to kill
[01:10:08] Mm-hmm. I don't know. I mean, yeah
[01:10:13] Do not shoot to kill do not shoot at all. Yeah, here's a here's a top five list of
[01:10:18] Of meat fucking I'm gonna the way I'm gonna fuck john chewsack in the ass. Okay for nix
[01:10:27] We call top five but do we ever do the same say anything and it's like anything
[01:10:35] Because I'll say
[01:10:37] I know what I'm a you you you left it open. Uh-huh you yep. That was the prompt
[01:10:42] Just with the boombox blasting the n-word
[01:10:44] And
[01:10:47] Family next door is like what the fuck are you doing? It's like uh, she said say anything. I'm trying to get my girlfriend
[01:10:55] Tom hanks
[01:10:58] Star of uh say anything
[01:11:01] Uh
[01:11:02] You've got penis
[01:11:04] Yes
[01:11:06] You've got poo you've got penis you've got penis. That's a great movie. Uh meh ryan
[01:11:11] Uh
[01:11:13] She sucked my cock
[01:11:16] The terminal how she was on she was in there. No
[01:11:21] You just came by just like a skark
[01:11:23] That's awesome. How you doing? It's me
[01:11:26] Tom cruise
[01:11:29] How about that folks? That's really good. Thanks. You know the terminal
[01:11:33] I I would like to live in a terminal for a sec in an airport like airports
[01:11:37] Mm-hmm. The warrior drive you nuts over 24 hours you go and say you don't be a beautiful airport to live in it's the orlando airport
[01:11:45] I've never been Denver's not bad either nice big or lando scar from the city. Orlando's got really nice
[01:11:51] Trams and then it's a gorgeous sunset is okay. Yeah, all right, and you're so stoked that you're going to Disney
[01:12:00] You know, you know I I had a nine hour layover on our lando one time. Why because of a spirit airways
[01:12:06] Well, it was right when I it was not yeah
[01:12:09] It was right when I like started making money
[01:12:11] That was the last time I did that because you used to be you have to fly somewhere and you just go cheapest flight
[01:12:15] Whatever it is
[01:12:16] This is when I need to be there cheapest flight and then you end up with like, you know, you're transferring six times and yeah
[01:12:22] This massive layover and that was the last time I did it because it was right when the show took off and I was like, okay
[01:12:28] Well, I'm like I can pay my rent. Yeah, exactly. I can pay a hundred dollars more right to not wait
[01:12:35] Literally nine hours
[01:12:37] Airport to go to fucking Los Angeles from New York. Oh, yeah, I remember that actually yeah
[01:12:42] Yeah, no that was way past when you should have been doing that if I remember correctly. No, no really that was like early
[01:12:48] I was February of 2017 and this show started. I just think we have different
[01:12:54] Thresholds for when that's acceptable. I like to travel in style. Mm-hmm. You know I'm saying yeah, you go to comfort plus
[01:13:01] And would you say in pig style? Yeah, that's not a well-known phrase
[01:13:09] Well pigsties
[01:13:13] Stretch
[01:13:16] No
[01:13:20] My dick and your clothes your clothes and your ass don't try and steal me. I'm not trying to steal the thing
[01:13:28] I try to steal cookie from the cookie jar
[01:13:33] Wait, what did you think the first time you heard that devil song who stole the cookie for the I you know what honestly as a
[01:13:39] Fakit I heard that song and I'm like what the fuck is a cookie jar?
[01:13:45] Why isn't there a jar of cookies that first of all it's not stealing. That's the whole point of the cookie jar
[01:13:53] Yeah, but I'd never seen the cookie jar in my life
[01:13:55] I feel like nice moms have a cookie jar. We were too poor for yeah jars. No, I've literally never I know
[01:14:02] I'd say I don't think they exist. It's a shit from like the 1800s
[01:14:06] Decorative thing a cookie she puts them all in the cookie jar and her nice family cool down
[01:14:12] They cool her nice family comes down. They said all that mom made cookies. Yeah, everyone loves each other
[01:14:19] The way you love my dick. I'm sure I've
[01:14:21] I've I've stated this on the show before but the nicest type of family is upper middle class family
[01:14:28] mom dad son daughter older son down syndrome
[01:14:33] They're very nice. That's the
[01:14:36] Great people right because they learn their lesson early
[01:14:38] They love him so the whole family send their pieces of the family sort of like the
[01:14:43] The almost like the it's like a cornucopia with his brain spilling out as the older down syndrome brother
[01:14:48] Right that they all love they have to learn patience for but it's not hard for them to learn patience because they have a combined income
[01:14:56] Of $650,000 a year
[01:14:58] Right, right, right. All right. So the dad gets a fun car
[01:15:02] Oh, Brian needs another helmet or whatever. Yeah, and then the dad. Yes, exactly. He still has a Porsche
[01:15:06] He gets to have a Porsche
[01:15:08] What they what day is entirely covered in feces and then they laugh and have like a car
[01:15:12] They watch their own car, but because they are like business-minded
[01:15:16] They turn it into a neighborhood car wash and the down syndrome brother
[01:15:20] Shitting all over the car actually turns into the family making a thousand dollars in a weekend. I uh, I had a blondie
[01:15:29] uh like a blondie brownie thing sure and the company is that the the big it's baked goods made by
[01:15:37] mentally handicapped people
[01:15:39] Fantastic
[01:15:41] The blondie was fantastic. I had it yesterday good for you man. Shout out to them
[01:15:44] If I if I had the name I would plug it on the show you should but they really they did a hell of a job
[01:15:49] That's great find that name and then they did a hell of a job slightly larger Debbie
[01:15:56] A little too a little too big for this class, Debbie. Yeah
[01:16:00] Oh, fuck it's great. We can do that. Hold on. There's plenty of meat on that bone to be picked. Okay
[01:16:07] I want my dawson's greek yogurt man. Now. He's just thinking about dawson greek
[01:16:11] Thinking about dawson's greek. I think about slurping down there Sarah sarah re sarah re
[01:16:17] Definitely. Oh, yeah, sarah re isn't sarah re tardin sarah lee tardin. Mm-hmm. There you go
[01:16:24] um
[01:16:25] Duncan
[01:16:29] Already kind of sounds like a retard
[01:16:31] Retardin is 100
[01:16:44] Betty rocker like an autistic person rocks back and forth
[01:16:52] Let's see here
[01:16:55] Nestle drool house
[01:16:57] Okay, okay, yeah
[01:17:05] What do they host this
[01:17:14] Uh host extra chromosomes, okay
[01:17:17] Okay
[01:17:26] Pepperage beverage all harm pepper
[01:17:39] Well, let's just put let's put the dog whistle back on put that on to help think about it for a second
[01:17:44] But yeah, let's just think about all right. Well, you guys do that. I'm I think I'm gonna go to the boot day
[01:17:49] declaration
[01:18:19] Well, I got nothing.
[01:18:34] Yep.
[01:18:35] On that one.
[01:18:36] Thanks folks.
[01:18:37] This one, you know, it's an easy thing to write out.
[01:18:40] You just have to sit there and do it yourself.
[01:18:43] So maybe that's a little bit of a come town home or for you guys.
[01:18:46] Sit down, we'd meet a college rule loose leaf sheet of paper.
[01:18:50] Yeah.
[01:18:51] Write one through ten and then do a line down the middle.
[01:18:56] And then on the first side, you write down lists of companies.
[01:18:59] Okay.
[01:19:00] So you put Dunkin' Hines, Betty Crocker, Sarah Lee, Little Debbie, Hostess.
[01:19:05] Pepperage Farm.
[01:19:06] Pepperage Farm, Otis Spunkmeyer.
[01:19:08] Otis Spunkmeyer is a good, uh, man's name.
[01:19:12] There's another returning guys name.
[01:19:13] Dunkin' Hines and Otis Spunkmeyer.
[01:19:15] Yeah, they're best friends.
[01:19:17] Yeah.
[01:19:18] Well, it's funny you say you ate that shit from the company that has the goes those guys
[01:19:21] work in there, but that might might just be all of the market.
[01:19:25] Yeah.
[01:19:26] It might.
[01:19:27] Yeah.
[01:19:28] I think the Keeler Elser also retarded.
[01:19:30] Mrs. Field.
[01:19:31] They have more fan syndrome.
[01:19:32] Yale Fudge.
[01:19:33] Yeah.
[01:19:34] That's a Yale Fudge.
[01:19:35] No, a Morfan is when you're big.
[01:19:37] Morfan, you have big ears and you're big.
[01:19:40] Mm-hmm.
[01:19:41] Uh, Dick has Morfan syndrome?
[01:19:42] No, it doesn't.
[01:19:43] That'd be sick if you had a pair of ears on your dick.
[01:19:46] You'd listen to a pussy.
[01:19:47] That would be cool.
[01:19:48] Yeah.
[01:19:49] That would be really fucking cool.
[01:19:50] And then you'd have to become a doctor and do pap smears with your penis.
[01:19:53] No, I wouldn't.
[01:19:54] I wouldn't have to do anything.
[01:19:55] I'm my own man.
[01:19:56] What do you mean?
[01:19:57] But medical science needs you.
[01:19:59] You're the only man with the ear penis.
[01:20:01] That's true, but I don't care.
[01:20:05] LD Fudge, does that work?
[01:20:06] Like learning disabled Fudge?
[01:20:09] What is LD Fudge?
[01:20:10] Learning disabled.
[01:20:11] EL Fudge.
[01:20:12] I don't know that company.
[01:20:15] You don't know EL Fudge?
[01:20:16] No.
[01:20:17] You're the one that said Keebler Elves.
[01:20:19] Is that who makes it?
[01:20:20] Is that who makes it?
[01:20:21] Yes, EL Fudge.
[01:20:22] I thought that was...
[01:20:24] Wait, no, that's a different company.
[01:20:28] EL Fudge is a type of cookie, I think.
[01:20:30] It's like the El Camino version.
[01:20:33] Uh-huh.
[01:20:34] EL Fudge is Keebler Elves.
[01:20:37] I thought, isn't the company Keebler?
[01:20:39] No, I think it's EL Fudge.
[01:20:41] Yeah, it's the magical world of Keebler.
[01:20:44] Yeah, EL.
[01:20:45] Come see what sweet treats the
[01:20:47] Nel Fudge book.
[01:20:48] E-El Fudge book.
[01:20:49] E-El Fudge book.
[01:20:50] E-El Fudge is the cookie.
[01:20:53] Mm-hmm.
[01:20:54] Interesting.
[01:20:55] And Keebler is the company that makes the cookie.
[01:20:58] The Keebler Elves are the mascot.
[01:21:00] Oh, yeah.
[01:21:01] It's EL Fudge because it's EL F.
[01:21:04] Ah-hah.
[01:21:05] Interesting.
[01:21:06] That's really smart.
[01:21:08] Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of the
[01:21:11] this guy.
[01:21:12] Anyway, folks, thanks for listening.
[01:21:14] This is a bonus.
[01:21:16] We don't know when it's going to come out probably right.
[01:21:18] And to listen to vault.
[01:21:20] Yeah, this is a vacation vault.
[01:21:23] No, I think this is probably next week.
[01:21:25] This is just the regular.
[01:21:27] Oh, okay.
[01:21:28] Yeah.
[01:21:29] So in two weeks time.
[01:21:30] And then on the other side of the sheet, you put down things like Mongoloid or Waterhead.
[01:21:34] Yeah.
[01:21:35] And then you kind of try-
[01:21:36] Oh, right.
[01:21:37] Finish the assignment before we get-
[01:21:38] Yeah, you draw lines.
[01:21:39] Hellness.
[01:21:40] Yeah.
[01:21:41] What else do they call them?
[01:21:43] What are they- what are they some other names?
[01:21:44] Did you already say Waterhead?
[01:21:46] I said Waterhead.
[01:21:47] Mm-hmm.
[01:21:48] Pinhead.
[01:21:49] A dummy.
[01:21:50] Ah.
[01:21:51] And then especially if you know an upper middle class family that's got son daughter,
[01:22:03] older son, down syndrome, please ask them for help.
[01:22:09] Yeah, for sure.
[01:22:10] Because they're-
[01:22:11] For sure.
[01:22:12] They probably won't be offended.
[01:22:13] Yeah.
[01:22:14] Not at all.
[01:22:15] They're very patient people.
[01:22:17] And I feel like in those situations, the dad's always got a pretty big dick.
[01:22:21] I agree with you actually.
[01:22:22] It's more to God making it all balanced.
[01:22:25] He's like-
[01:22:26] He's like, what can I say?
[01:22:27] I mean, I knew I was destroying my wife's pussy.
[01:22:30] It's that probably-
[01:22:31] And the daughter-
[01:22:32] And the daughter is a fucking ten.
[01:22:34] No.
[01:22:35] Honestly-
[01:22:36] I think the daughter's a ten.
[01:22:37] She's really mature.
[01:22:38] Wrong.
[01:22:39] The daughter is chill.
[01:22:42] But uh, cankles kind of fucking-
[01:22:44] No.
[01:22:45] She's got a little dawd of whatever the older son-
[01:22:47] But the daughter-
[01:22:48] Yeah, she's not a fucking-
[01:22:49] At first of all, this is not your scenario.
[01:22:51] You didn't describe any of it.
[01:22:52] Yeah, but this is the main thing.
[01:22:53] You didn't name any of it.
[01:22:54] No, yeah, but you're wrong.
[01:22:55] I'm telling you-
[01:22:56] I know.
[01:22:57] I know.
[01:22:58] I know.
[01:22:59] I know.
[01:23:00] I know.
[01:23:01] I know.
[01:23:02] I know.
[01:23:03] I know.
[01:23:04] I know.
[01:23:05] I know.
[01:23:06] I know.
[01:23:07] I know.
[01:23:08] I know.
[01:23:09] Sometimes though, retarders have hot sisters.
[01:23:12] Sometimes, but this is not it, this is not the situation we're talking about.
[01:23:18] Thanks for granting him that.
[01:23:20] And by virtue grant me that.
[01:23:23] No, I'm just chu-
[01:23:24] We're trying to get to the bottom of this.
[01:23:26] Alright, anyway folks-
[01:23:27] Thanks a lot.
[01:23:28] I have to go get some dawg-
[01:23:29] The dad has a big dick.
[01:23:33] That's me-