Cum Town | Premium | 02/27/2017
[00:00:00] I wrote bruv. It's uh, cook me uh, you know, suck your bell and how British guys talk
[00:00:09] This is the most you you you slobbin knock is ledge
[00:00:14] This is the most legendary mental podcast. I think enough
[00:00:19] I didn't drink enough coffee before I hit the record button dude. Gulp it down right the fuck up. I can't
[00:00:25] Gulp it. I can't get big. You know this is an after a DJ at coffee. Oh really? You drink too much of it
[00:00:34] Go go go go go go. That's the excuse I use dude
[00:00:36] It's the first day of spring here in Brooklyn, New York City where people fuck and get fucked. It's a dog fuck dog world out there
[00:00:46] The heartbreak hotel in New York City. Oh, yeah, dude check in room for two me and this hot bitch
[00:00:52] I'm about to fuck yeah, her heart inside of a world wall street guy everybody in New York's a wall street guy
[00:00:57] Yeah, it's a thing people don't realize. Oh, I short sell everything dude. Yeah, I was just short selling apple the other day
[00:01:03] Yeah, I just find the shittiest stuff and I say short that you know absolutely
[00:01:09] I'm gonna like find I'm not I'm not gonna find a good stuff, but I'm really dope at finding shitty stuff
[00:01:15] Yeah, you know, it's funny. It's like, you know in the the the Hollywood portrayal of finance guys
[00:01:20] It's like you know Gordon Gekko or spender Americans
[00:01:24] American psycho or American sniper. Yeah, they're like they're fucking cool
[00:01:30] You know they're cool guys that fuck a lot, but then like the real finance guys are like Martin Shkreli, you know
[00:01:35] They're like nerds. Yeah, you know, they're extremely do you think Martin Shkreli? He hebrimaic?
[00:01:44] Not particularly, you know, they got into it from like baseball statistics right right right yeah, the saber metrics
[00:01:49] And that's how but the real guys the guys like me, you know
[00:01:54] Who they portray as being Wall Street guys in the movies. We're never in Wall Street guys with good hair guys with good hair
[00:02:05] On coke yeah on greenies. Yeah guys are always on drugs green me. It's old-school meth
[00:02:11] Or old-school amphetamines baseball players should do that shit. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but yeah, I'm done with Wall Street
[00:02:18] Dude, I'm too rich now what I'm really into
[00:02:24] Did you pull the cucumber out of your pants? Yeah
[00:02:30] You got surprises in store. Do you stuffing it to make it look like you're a big-ass dick? Well, yeah, it's a first-day of spring
[00:02:45] Wasn't in the couch no is it my pants really that you don't do that on the first day of spring, huh?
[00:02:52] Vegetables are blown dude. This is the horniest day of the year for women. Is it actually the first day of spring?
[00:02:56] Is just no, it's not it's just nice temperatures nice. It's nice out
[00:03:00] But yeah, dude you pack you pack a fucking mean that is mean piece of me big yeah, you pack a giant cucumber in your pants
[00:03:07] Adam do you remember you go to the store you ride the train around the looks you get on these days?
[00:03:12] I'll tell you do in the middle of winter people are gonna videotape you and put you on one of those sex blogs
[00:03:16] The sex assault blogs like Jezebel or or you know CNN
[00:03:24] You do it on the first day of spring the skirts are flying folks. Oh, yeah
[00:03:28] Do you remember we have that idea where we wrote on a Starbucks cup big dick guy? Yeah, right?
[00:03:36] But like an eggplant in it and then contact the local news
[00:03:38] You're like guy with huge dick and you're like this wasn't fair to me. I don't understand why I could be
[00:03:45] Stereot, when I'm just trying to get coffee
[00:03:48] Did we talk already about the guy with a giant ass dick that wraps his dick and gauze Jonah Falcon?
[00:03:53] No, no, there's another guy. There's like a fucking Hispanic guy. No, it's him and me those are the only two big dick guys
[00:03:59] There's me a giant another guy and me also
[00:04:02] And I have the biggest one of every well of all of them, but yeah, there's a
[00:04:08] Would you want to dick that big of course it's literally for the listener. It's literally 18 inches if you had the option
[00:04:16] I don't know why you wouldn't choose world's biggest dick
[00:04:19] So because you could that's why they can't make that sir. Dude. That's why they can't look
[00:04:24] They can't make that surgery is because people are like oh
[00:04:26] It's they got breast implants, but they don't have dick implants and it's because women are reasonable and they're like yeah
[00:04:32] I'm gonna get up to a D cup and I'm not gonna go insane if like men had breasts and breast implants became real
[00:04:40] They're like you will die in two years. She's like I don't care. I want I want you to transfer all the veins in my legs to my breasts
[00:04:54] It'll be walking around with giant huge tits these shriveled legs and then like big arms from having to drag themselves
[00:05:01] Around on their knuckles like a big like Donkey Kong with huge tits that titted gorilla. Yeah, yeah
[00:05:06] That'd be so cool in fact, I'm hoping because that's the future of gender is gonna be it's gonna be a big old parrot itch with a
[00:05:13] 19 inch dick hanging off of it incapable of thinking for itself your brain's gonna be powered by Apple
[00:05:20] Apple is gonna do all you're thinking for you, and you're just gonna have huge tits and a huge unusable dick. I
[00:05:25] Think that if that's what where society's headed. I think that's a more enlightened society
[00:05:30] It is because you get to choose your name you get to choose your trans name. It can be something cool like Celestria
[00:05:37] It's all like heart medication names. Yeah, Celestia's awesome, dude. Hi, my name's Paxil
[00:05:43] It's like pixel, but Paxil because Pax means peace in Latin. Yeah, it's all space princess shit
[00:05:49] Mm-hmm. I want to be Zora Astrina. I want to be fucking Sailor Moon, dude. I'm gonna come trans
[00:05:54] What was Sailor Moon about they were like little girls that were fine as a force
[00:06:00] There are four sailors four sailors. Yeah, but they were girl sailors
[00:06:06] down his derelict yeah, and what they fought crime
[00:06:09] There's some guy in a mask was there some guy who's like threw roses at them and tried to fuck them or something
[00:06:14] I don't know. I didn't watch that. Yeah, you dude the guy that jacks off the hand tie
[00:06:17] No, first of all I have a couple times and also you have two and you're both fucking lying
[00:06:22] History will prove I'm on the right side of history when it comes to this issue and you two are not
[00:06:28] Oh, you got new shoes. Oh, you like them? Yeah?
[00:06:32] Thank you. We're hell feelers. Where did you get those shoe city? I had them a while ago. Yeah, but I'm a
[00:06:41] You know the winter you can't bring the felt out. Do you remember those funk master flex lugs commercials where of course
[00:06:47] You would be like stomping on the street and then like breaking the sidewalk. That's the era I had lugs
[00:06:53] That was part of the reason those were the commercials on W on raw. Well, there's the birdman lug errors. Yes. Yeah, that era
[00:07:01] And also I also loved like wrestling all the commercial like lugs and then Mike's hard lemonade
[00:07:06] Yeah, it's like Mike's is clearly just trying to get children to drink fucking booze
[00:07:11] Yeah, it's just like 100% for fat teenagers watching you ever have smearing off triple black
[00:07:16] I remember drinking that as a teenager. What is that? It's like tastes like sprite remix. Yeah, it was a good
[00:07:21] Yeah, it's like some kind of clear sprite remix beer. Yeah, it's good as shit. It's really good. Yeah, it's a straight up
[00:07:28] Tastes like a raspberry sprite. Yeah. God damn. I won't
[00:07:35] Yeah, no, they're not that sugary. They're like actually pretty refreshing really yeah, and if you use promo code you come predict
[00:07:43] You get them free are they still out there is smearing off triple black still out. Yeah, well that I mean a smirnoff ice is
[00:07:50] So I'm sure what does my off ice even tastes like I don't know if I've ever had one. It's raspberry life
[00:07:54] It's the same thing. Did I say raw and smackdown?
[00:07:59] Actually completely dismissed back down is for the fucking proletariat dude
[00:08:04] Ross for the corporate elites. Yeah, you didn't have I didn't have cable
[00:08:08] My dad got fucking my dad when we first got cable. He just got it so he could watch Greek news
[00:08:12] He's like that was the only cable we had was just like shitty tape delayed Greek the bakery is closed today
[00:08:32] Like shit about Greece hold on I got I have so born a pretty worth stereo typing
[00:08:37] My name a bond James good. It's a mashup. I like that
[00:08:45] I'm going to fuck octopus see it with my
[00:08:50] Penis what do you have a word for dick? I think he calls it is crumb. He's from that's right. No, he's gonna crumb push up. I
[00:08:57] Don't know I think promise. This you cast a fucking Leslie Jones's James Bond just to make everyone mad
[00:09:07] What's your name? You know my fucking name is what do you want to drink a burr?
[00:09:14] Did none of the James doing none of the James Bond stuff. Yeah, let me get a burr start at burr
[00:09:30] Fuck she was just immediately blower cover mm-hmm for bragging about being a secret agent. Yeah
[00:09:37] That'd be a great departure from the series. I think it'd be a good way to reboot James Bond
[00:09:43] Just scratching your nose with that dick
[00:09:45] Yeah, well I got like a sister something inside my nose
[00:09:51] I got a pimple like at the tip of my nose on the inside. Oh, I've had that it's the fucking worst
[00:09:56] Yeah, goddamn world. Oh my god. You want to kill yourself on that shit?
[00:09:59] Yeah, the only way to cure it is to let one of your self put the tip of his soft penis in your nostril and then the dick juices
[00:10:07] We'll dry it up. Here's what I want to talk about on this episode
[00:10:10] Yeah, why isn't the show New York undercover available for streaming anywhere? That's great. That's such a good show
[00:10:16] It's such a good show. That's the best show dick wolf ever made that was dick wolf. Yeah, yeah
[00:10:42] J. R. R. R. Mee Jaz what's his name? Oh, if you guys ever shot the Jimmy Jazz
[00:10:49] That they have one in New York. Yeah, it sounds like you know how this
[00:10:53] You know the women's clothing sword charming Charlie. No, there's a women's clothing circle charming Charlie and it's like forever 21
[00:11:01] But the name makes it sounds like a slave
[00:11:03] Doesn't it yeah like that's who the carrot like that's Morgan Freeman's character from driving this Daisy
[00:11:12] Well, I never learned how to read I'm just charming Charlie. I know how to drive but I never learned the letters
[00:11:25] I've never seen in my life. It's not worth watching
[00:11:31] And that Latina woman in there is sexy so why is she always playing a hot cop?
[00:11:36] She was wasn't she in Dexter too is the sexy cop? Maybe she was I don't know what that actress's name is
[00:11:41] I only remember the two main guys Malik Yoba and whoever played Eddie Torres. Yeah
[00:11:48] Yeah, all right Pete. Yeah, honestly every day. I think about Eddie Guerrero
[00:11:54] There's not a day goes by not a day goes by where I don't miss him. He cheated to win and that's really my
[00:12:00] Philosophy in life. He was a slippery Latino willing to bend the rules
[00:12:04] Him and Chris Benoit all right P the crippler
[00:12:09] Can you believe I was fucking dying. Yeah, what's wrong, man? Are you ever gonna fucking survive?
[00:12:18] Are you leaving the atoms fucking leaving right now? He's having a God's having a conipption
[00:12:27] Dude, I feel jeez are you seriously are you gonna die? I
[00:12:34] Feel very bad because I was in Oklahoma for the weekend. Yeah, he was doing this shit yesterday
[00:12:46] Wait, there's no way to stream New York undercover. What do you have to buy a DVD?
[00:12:50] No, yeah, I think you might be able to buy a DVD somewhere
[00:12:53] But it's I don't want to buy regular DVD because you know I got all this shit my next purchase if I'm gonna buy home
[00:13:01] An ultra HD Blu-ray player. Oh, yeah, dude, and then I'm not bottom. I'm not putting fucking regular DVDs in that
[00:13:07] You know do put your fucking 18 inch dick and a horse
[00:13:19] Pussy you have a fucking scene and you fucking destroyed that and you either fuck that or you fuck your ultra HD Blu-ray player
[00:13:30] Oh fuck man, you gotta find a good one. I watch total recall recently what the original or the
[00:13:39] Original dude. It was fucking yeah, it's a great movie. I've never seen so many movies, but yeah
[00:13:43] The remake is pretty good actually to really yeah
[00:13:46] Maybe I'll watch that Sharon Stone was sexy as a yeah as hell dude. Mm-hmm was that?
[00:14:03] Why they'd have to do that with every like Arnold movie was like I was born raised in Los Angeles
[00:14:17] Yeah, it's so funny. He's so such a strange actor, but he's so fucking good. Yeah, well
[00:14:23] The the best is because they had to do that with all those guys like they always have to find a way to explain
[00:14:32] His accent or a jcvds accent or a Sylvester Stallone speech impediment
[00:14:42] You know he's from like he's from Maryland. I think yeah. Yeah, he went to Blair. Yeah. Yeah at the same time as
[00:14:49] Goldie han and Ben Stein. Yeah, we've talked about this heavily. Yeah, the best the most famous person
[00:14:57] For my high school was a wide receiver from the Packers at school Antonio something it's only been deres
[00:15:12] With pushing boots like they what they screen the film for everybody was in the movie and there's some quote from Antonio
[00:15:19] Banderas like an interview. He's like when I saw my performance. I was crying
[00:15:28] It's like first of all crying it yourself is fucking your stupid asshole
[00:15:32] But crying yourself because of a cartoon cat
[00:15:41] Yeah, I won these animators. Yeah, I cried a piece of shit
[00:15:45] But yeah, no, they do that in all those movies with those guys accents and the best is hard target with
[00:15:51] They just decided to make jcvd occasion cuz they're like yeah
[00:15:54] It's close enough doesn't sound cation at all still sounds like a Belgian guy
[00:16:00] But then they have fucking woofer brimley as his cajun uncle in the movie and they're he's like mom nephew
[00:16:16] Have you ever seen the firm with Tom Cruise?
[00:16:23] Yeah, there's a chase scene and then where it's Tom Cruise young hot in shape running as fast as he can and then fat
[00:16:31] What we will for bribbly and like there's no way that there's no way like on foot
[00:16:37] And there's no way that they're keeping pace with each other and then that he's like if you got diabetes
[00:16:43] You know, just fucking chasing after Tom Cruise. It's the funniest chase. How does it end?
[00:16:53] They end up in like some storage room and Brimley has the shotgun or whatever doesn't get like shot like 35 times
[00:16:59] He's like impossible to kill Wilford Brimley. Yeah in the firm
[00:17:04] Yeah, I don't remember it. That's crazy because I actually have something pretty firm for you guys
[00:17:12] What it's like describing something I will get it. We'll get to it later. Okay
[00:17:18] Man, I've been wanting to rewatch the mummy. I
[00:17:23] Don't know dude. I got a mummy hankering. I really want to rewatch those shitty bread and freezer movies
[00:17:28] Whatever happened to Brendan Fraser, dude. My man. He went bald as hell. Yeah, he said he said like yeah
[00:17:35] Nothing retired. Well, there's guy. Yeah
[00:17:37] There's guys that like go bald so they get on fin or something or they get hair plugs and it looks like shit
[00:17:42] But they can manage and then there's guys that try everything and like still their hair is like no
[00:17:47] Well, really and fucking he's he's like that where he's like desperately hanging on his hair looks like a like Trump
[00:17:53] You know, or it looks like absolute fucking shit
[00:17:55] Yeah, cuz he has that diffuse balding where it's not like you like you got where it's fucking no
[00:18:00] I have where you have your hair lines receding, but then the rest of it just looks like pretty good hair
[00:18:04] You absolutely shit, you know, you're is
[00:18:07] Like who are you talking? So he has fine hair. Yeah, like the hair on your head looks like leg hair
[00:18:13] It's pretty cool. It looks fine. I just choose to keep it looks like spar
[00:18:15] It looks like the hair you know what your scalp looks like on my leg where my wallet rubs against my side
[00:18:22] It looks like my ass. Yeah, I think it looks like a fine powerful viral virile man. No viral
[00:18:31] viral your virile your head looks like your head looks like the last pumpkin left in the patch
[00:18:37] I think it like the one that's there on like December 1st. No, it's it. They're like, we're not gonna sell this thing
[00:18:44] No, no, it's that really sad. No, it's such a sad image the last pumpkin
[00:18:50] No one wanted to pick him. Yeah, I think that's what your head looks like stuff. This is no
[00:18:54] This is I got an october 15th head dude, and I got a fucking so you admit your head looks like a pumpkin
[00:19:07] Look there's no doubting I have a gigantic head
[00:19:09] I just had a sudden flashback to being in third grade and
[00:19:14] And getting molested having a pumpkin stock shoved in your ass
[00:19:18] Halloween no, this is completely unrelated, but like I was in the bathroom
[00:19:25] At my school and there was a retarded kid at the urinal and he had his pants pulled down all the way to the ground of course classic
[00:19:33] Which again, how do they all I don't know but we as they are one more to do. Yeah
[00:19:39] It's awesome. I just don't get it. How do they all know? Why do you have to know why rainbows?
[00:19:45] They're on the list. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah, let nature fuck enjoy nature's beauty
[00:19:50] Well, maybe I've even told this story already
[00:19:52] But we're I'm watching the the kid at the ur I'm washing my hands
[00:19:55] I'm these two other kids come in and they see the him with his pants all the way down and they start laughing and he gets nervous and
[00:20:02] Clenches his ass and it just like that it like highlights all the cellulite in his ass
[00:20:07] So he clenched his ass and it was all dimpled and shit while people were laughing at him. It's just the way it like tensed up was so funny
[00:20:26] Well, I was imagining a fucked up old rotten pumpkin all dimply and stuff. What do you think that retarded kid with like
[00:20:38] We're James old musses face. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a pockmarked face. Yeah
[00:20:44] Yeah, there's a lot of celebrities got really fucked up faces
[00:20:47] You know like how did you cuz they're not good actors either and it's like Jimmy Smith's
[00:20:52] Jimmy Smith's all Latino Jimmy Smith's like one of his eyes is like six and a half inches away from the rest of his face
[00:21:00] He's got this like fucked up. I yeah, dude. Okay, look you know his skull looks like
[00:21:08] Was that fucking he's got grumpy. There was like a PlayStation name called like like nightmares or something or nightmare and
[00:21:16] And the guy don't know the main character was like a Jack Skoll skeleton type but it one of his eyes was bigger than the other
[00:21:23] And I think that's that's what I think of when I see Jimmy Smith's Jimmy Smith's hot dude
[00:21:27] No, he's got a fucked up. I do trust me. I don't know. I can't I don't see it
[00:21:33] Wasn't he a president in West Wing? He was a candidate in the last season. I never want to play a Barack Obama
[00:21:41] He played Barack Obama. I like that there was a black president on 24
[00:21:47] Yeah, the all-state guy. Yeah, the all-state guy
[00:21:49] What's he even what did he even do as president on that show? He made sure everyone got all just like
[00:21:55] Terrorism is bad. That's it. But was there reason even have a president on the show that show is lit just took a span in one day
[00:22:02] That's the gimmick. Yeah, so who knows man?
[00:22:05] It's just one day for the president. That's true. Maybe you had a very successful
[00:22:08] Administration apparently the new one is like extras
[00:22:12] Lomophobic dude. Yeah, I watched the beginning of it at the bad cuz it was on after football
[00:22:16] And it just starts with just Muslims killing women
[00:22:22] Muslims kidnapping and murdering women and children with that cool music
[00:22:26] Yeah, and then always the text at the bottom of the screen it's like
[00:22:38] Computer text yeah, yeah, yeah, the print out the spot. We're spying on Muslim sound effect
[00:22:45] Yeah, yeah, it means that they're being observed by a fucking drone that's gonna kill them and their entire family at a wedding
[00:22:51] You know what I watched an episode of what the hotel in Oklahoma was?
[00:22:58] Fuck this movie called or a show called animal kingdom
[00:23:04] Australian yeah, I haven't seen the Australian one, but it's like an American and it was actually pretty good and I think is your name Ellen
[00:23:14] Actress yeah, yeah, she is sex some old lady big ass. She's fire. Yeah, she's hot. She's like American Helen mirroring almost
[00:23:21] Helen mirroring takes the cake for sexy old ladies for sure. No Ellen Barkin
[00:23:26] She's on Twitter. She's like real horny on Twitter really. Yeah, dude
[00:23:31] I would love to I haven't checked in in a couple years on that but I
[00:23:35] Last time I checked in she was pretty horny. Who's the hottest? You do sucks Ellen page
[00:23:39] I feel like every every year she keeps making a move another movie that looks like it was made in 2003
[00:23:46] The odd the same I did the only movie I know versus June. Oh, no, she's been in a million movies
[00:23:52] They're all fucking really boring. She told Ted Cruz. She's a lesbian. Yeah, that was that was a cool move
[00:23:59] Can we talk about who we can talk about on page? She's talking but who do you think the hottest old lady is?
[00:24:04] Nick, I feel like you don't want to fuck old ladies because you're you know
[00:24:08] The witness you don't appreciate beauty in all its forms. That's true. I don't I will say this you brought her up before Helen Mirren
[00:24:15] I was using ramen at that place yepudo like
[00:24:22] Helen mirror was at the table next to it really I saw her
[00:24:33] Never I've never wanted to fuck more. She's slurping. She's good
[00:24:36] Why because she reminds you of a Chinese girl
[00:24:45] He saw this chopstick. Yeah, I saw those chops
[00:24:51] And he's like when's your what's your your fucking sign? No, I mean like your zone your Chinese zodiac
[00:24:57] Really cuz yeah, I'm fucking I'm rooster. I
[00:25:00] I saw bring up the rear of a dragon and a New Year's Chinese New Year's parade some of them are shitty
[00:25:06] Some people are like year of the rat. That's got to suck. Yeah, that's not a good one
[00:25:10] I wish I'm one of those wishy hot rabbit rabbits
[00:25:19] 87 I'm 87. Yeah, I think I'm 89. I think that's something cool. No, it's a dog
[00:25:25] No, it's the big dick warrior. No, it's some shitty thing 1989 year of
[00:25:29] So I wouldn't fuck any old ladies none come to mind hot old ladies. Oh, yo Joe Biden's wife
[00:25:35] I think he could get it. Yeah, she looks good
[00:25:39] I've already talked about I want to find Kelly and Conway you do I don't know man. She was looking bad
[00:25:46] She's got it. She's got like a young voice that you I want to fuck
[00:25:50] Chinese zodiac 1989. Let's see here snake bitch. Hell yeah, that makes sense
[00:25:56] Were you 88? It sounds like there's air escaping from it. Yes
[00:26:21] Yeah, I know you're dragging the best one. That is so much the best one. That's why I'm the leader of the crew
[00:26:27] Dude, I'm the leading this no dragons. It's not the best one because dragons the only one that's not real
[00:26:33] You think a dragon is not the best one. Yeah, let's rank these shit, dude
[00:26:38] No, the best one is that sucks. Oh, it's cool tigers tigers cool tigers. You're the tiger. That's the best one
[00:26:45] There's monkey. That's pretty cool. Yeah
[00:26:50] That one's gay. That one's for autistic girls. You know what horses, man. Don't get there too. I think yeah, dude
[00:26:55] I agree horses. They're muscular is like the most
[00:26:59] They've been the best of humans out of any fucking you ride those bitties on no dogs
[00:27:05] Dogs, no horses got us around for until like the 20th century never cars camels did
[00:27:12] Camels horses more than a little dick ass camels do horse can not only a little dick horse
[00:27:17] Fucking drink a camel dude. They have extra water in them. No, you can't you can all I'm saying is if you drill
[00:27:23] A hole horses if you drill a hole in the in the hump of a camel you can drink the water in there
[00:27:28] That's why people use them in the desert. No, dude because you can put a straw
[00:27:46] I think you're on birthright in Israel. Just fucking destroy her camel. No, of course not
[00:27:51] We're not oh you have yeah and birthright. Oh, it is really yeah
[00:27:56] It was on birth right I never did birthright, but yeah, yeah, you did I wrote no
[00:28:01] That's when you fuck that russian bitch or whatever
[00:28:03] No, that was like on a year program birthright is like a 10 day free trip
[00:28:07] You've never done it. No, you do it if you've never been but I I've been there
[00:28:12] He'd gone a lot as fuck so many can I fake being jewish to get that trip? Yeah. Yeah people lie their way on that all
[00:28:19] Yeah, there's also a birthright for people who aren't jewish
[00:28:22] Is there yeah because I mean they care they care so much about like PR and propaganda the doll
[00:28:27] Oh, yeah, isn't that what michael Bennett was gonna do? Yeah, that's pretty cool. He said he's not gonna go
[00:28:31] He said fuck you fucking jews. Yeah, I ain't doing shit. I'm gonna go as a tourist. I'm not your PR pawn
[00:28:37] That's pretty cool. Should we go though? Should we be there? You cut off his age 27? Yeah, I think that's true. Fuck. I just turned 28
[00:28:46] God damn it. Yeah. It's like it's back to the pumpkin patch for you bitch
[00:28:50] Dude the pumpkin patch is a fun place. I will say that a camel slider
[00:28:55] Is one of the worst smells I've ever smelled well was that before or after you put your dick in it
[00:29:00] I didn't put my dick in it. You girl smell like a camel mouth
[00:29:04] You girl pussy smell like a camel mouth. Well, they smoked those nasty cigarettes all day
[00:29:10] Yeah, what kind of sunglasses excuse me?
[00:29:18] Did he have a blazer? Yeah, cool jacket on. Yo, I love Joe cool
[00:29:22] Was a baby. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, his face. I remember being three years old being like I want to smoke those cigarettes
[00:29:33] I'm gonna smoke those cigarettes dude. I had a fucking Joe camel hat that I love that I'm everywhere
[00:29:38] Advertising straight up works and everyone is a fucking liar. Well, it works on four year olds. Yeah, doesn't work on me as an adult
[00:29:47] Yeah, dude. No, I'm the only what works on me is brand loyalty if I buy one of your products and it's good
[00:29:53] I'll buy everything else that fucking company man. I'm the same way
[00:29:55] That's old man's advertising. No, it's not that's making something and having like consistent quality across your product line
[00:30:02] I'm never gonna buy something and be like oh wow this that commercial fucking
[00:30:07] You know this commercial like look it's a beautiful couple
[00:30:10] I feel like you just don't watch as many commercials anymore. No, I I do
[00:30:13] I think I think aspirations have been enough to internal like internalized by like how
[00:30:18] Narcissistic the generation is that advertising has much less of an effect that it used to because you get all your aspirational messaging from like internal sources
[00:30:29] What your delusions of grandeur and your own fucking head about what you're capable of is a you know 25 year old
[00:30:35] Yeah, well, I will say that I do do see Alice because of the two bathtubs next in the lake
[00:30:41] Oh, yeah, you made the big switch from Viagra
[00:30:44] Yeah, I just want to have a wife that loves me that much and it just looks like really romantic that they're that they're next to a lake
[00:30:52] But for some reason they're in bathtubs, which is another type of you know water thing you could sit in
[00:30:57] I remember when I because I I was having I was pissing all the time and I went to the doctor and one of the reasons that
[00:31:06] Record over naked spitting the cucumber like a drumstick dude. I always wanted to learn how to do that
[00:31:13] I always want to learn how to do that dude
[00:31:16] How to spin how to spin a fucking drumsticks so I could go to the music an arts center and press all the the cool guitar guys
[00:31:23] Let's go to a guitar center after this right now and try to make some friends
[00:31:27] Let's do a live what you were saying we should do a live one for or
[00:31:31] We should do a live pod for guitar center not live but like remote
[00:31:35] Anyway, I have a fun Seattle story one time when I was I went to the doctor and one of the reasons you could piss all the time
[00:31:41] It's like your prostate was too big or some shit and
[00:31:45] He was like is it possible that your penis was so small that it couldn't hold all the this
[00:31:50] I think that's I think that's what I've had that's actually medically accurate actually was well
[00:31:55] There's not enough room for all the piss in your story stop interrupting me in
[00:32:07] We call it yeah, but honestly the biggest penis the biggest dick newborn baby
[00:32:11] Yeah, well I've got good news and bad news is the good news is did you know that?
[00:32:16] To their size barnacles actually have the biggest dicks in the world the bad news is is that you are not the size of a barnacle
[00:32:23] Uh, but you do have a barnacle sized dick
[00:32:26] Um anyway, he gave me C.L. Is just in case like apparently that also like helps you straight your prostate or some shit
[00:32:34] Yeah, and and so I had like four pills and I fucked like a champion those four times
[00:32:40] Yeah, it was awesome. I kind of wanted to try that she's hard, but I wanted to take him before extra dude extra fucking strong
[00:32:48] Strong because you keep getting any percenters
[00:32:51] Oh, I never I never have I've been had I've been have my dick full since I was like 17. Yeah, no absolutely
[00:32:58] I entire sexual prime. I didn't fuck. Yeah, I didn't fuck until after my dick was trash
[00:33:03] Yeah, I'm very what I when I drunk the baby
[00:33:21] That's why the pond was a ponstilion he explored florida looking for dick pills. Yeah
[00:33:30] Is it ponstilion? Um, her vat Vasquez the fountain of eternal he was Vasquez
[00:33:37] Grievis Vasquez for you to work in Maryland. Yeah later with the raptors and the grisly was it who was looking for the fucking founding youth?
[00:33:45] I think it was fucked a bunch of people. Yeah, fella suck for sure. Yeah
[00:33:54] In Spaniard, Florida, they were looking for the fucking yeah, yeah, who's that faggot's name?
[00:33:59] I think I think it was still and I think it was and to be clear
[00:34:03] I said faggot because I was referring to a person from Spain. I didn't mean that as in a homophobic way
[00:34:09] Yeah, I'm the guy that I'm the guy actually that doesn't say faggot on the show. I'm just I'm just the one with the
[00:34:21] Yeah, yeah, the one that's I'm the one who does you slurs, but is actually pretty cool otherwise. Yeah
[00:34:26] And I have a big dick. I have a big dick. I have all three
[00:34:30] Anyway, yeah, ponce is like a British slang too for like a like if someone's a ponce they're like a like a
[00:34:42] Because you're also just homo, you know, yeah, they're homophonic by the way sound gay that I learned that's who had homophones me
[00:34:58] If you're by the way, I was it like I said, it was an Oklahoma and if you're gay and live in Oklahoma
[00:35:02] Yeah, you don't call yourself. You're a no Cola homo. Mm-hmm. Oh, you're really missing out
[00:35:08] Don't even don't even know what I call Oklahoma is
[00:35:12] Joke, Lohoma. Whoo hook him horns. Yeah hell yeah
[00:35:15] TEXER BABER. Yeah, you know by the way, I looked at what a razorback was because the part of Oklahoma was a pig by
[00:35:22] Bargan saw it's a fucking just a homeless pig. Yeah, yes a nasty as a formerly domesticated pig dudes pigs go feral
[00:35:29] I'm like two generations. It's like a like a fucking babe to pig in the city pig, you know
[00:35:38] You know babe four is just a fucking fucked up me. Yeah rapist it would to go from that to go from that to like a fucking wild boar
[00:35:45] It takes like two generations. Yeah, that's what the show girls is about. Yeah
[00:35:49] It's about how the sex in the city girls aka the babe two pigs in the city
[00:35:59] Yeah, the government of Texas is offering $50 for every Lena Dunham you can kill it's true
[00:36:04] They're just rooting through your trash with them. You gotta be you gotta make sure you shoot them just above the breastplate
[00:36:12] Because they're very difficult to kill luckily they never wear clothes. So yeah, it's easy to see where the breastplate is
[00:36:18] Mm-hmm. I've never seen I've only seen like two episodes of girls
[00:36:23] It's trash, but one of them is where one of them gets fucked out a window or something
[00:36:28] Jessa the hot wing gets fucked out a window. She's she's she's not even hot. She's hot. Are you crazy?
[00:36:34] She's all right. Yeah, whatever. She's the hot. She's hot. I kind of fuck with the I think it's funny though in popular culture
[00:36:41] He was supposedly searching for the fountain of youth. There is no contemporary evidence to support the story, which is likely a myth
[00:36:48] about Ponce d'Olyan form in our governor of Puerto Rico
[00:36:54] I just like to Ponce d'Olyan was Puerto Rican that is pretty funny, which is fucking like that's cool. Yeah, we gotta find this fucking
[00:37:16] Dude there's a fucking fountain check this out. No, it's real
[00:37:19] Yeah, yeah, the only sport I watch is is conquistador
[00:37:28] If I could mix Marshall cock fighting what did they think what did the
[00:37:33] Mayans think that the conquistadors were riding on because they'd never seen horses before right?
[00:37:39] So they saw them on horse. I forget what it was dragons angels. They thought it was like a
[00:37:45] Cow's or something. I don't know, but they thought they were like fucking gods
[00:37:50] Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then they just fucking imagine that must have been so fucking sweet
[00:37:54] Have you seen that movie apocalypse? Oh Mel Gibson. I've been trying to look for it. It's not any
[00:37:59] Sick man. Yeah, I'm a huge MG fan. Yeah, we talked about this already. Oh, okay
[00:38:06] So I went to IKEA this week and I was thinking about this about a place called guy Kia where it's like IKEA
[00:38:12] But it's just for just for guys everything you need for your man cave. Yeah, right exactly modular man capes
[00:38:17] That was the business idea. I so hope you fucking like to hurt yourself really badly doing that someday
[00:38:23] I'll never hurt myself. I hope limber is fuck. You're not limber. What the fuck are you doing smoking with you?
[00:38:28] You just cough the fucking lung up. He's vaping. He's vaping dude fucking bitch. You're gonna get lung cancer
[00:38:34] Throw that away. You can't get lung cancer from babe
[00:38:36] It's it's so much worse for you than smoking. I know it's fucking it's gonna
[00:38:41] We're gonna find out this is like destroyed the entire generation
[00:38:45] And everyone I can't wait until I was smug fucking libertarian idiots
[00:38:49] They're like now it's better for you that would be awesome if it wiped out like if it's like the black plague for Ron Paul voters
[00:38:56] Yeah, okay like once once vaping is bad
[00:39:00] First of all you guys are not part of the people that are such skeptics are like everything
[00:39:04] Yeah, except you know this new private company that's like incentivize the science be it would be awesome
[00:39:11] They die because of something that's not regulated. Yeah, he's so beautiful. All right. Can I speak?
[00:39:16] Can I defend myself bitch? Okay, you guys are not part of the cloud-chucking community
[00:39:21] Okay, you guys don't know what it's like to chuck
[00:39:25] Massive cloud. You don't know what it's like to you know clearly there isn't there hasn't been many
[00:39:31] You know medical institutions research this besides maybe Harvard who said it gives you popcorn lung
[00:39:39] And popcorn when you're like turn into like popcorn 270 exactly that's exactly what I was
[00:39:48] And if that's how my lungs want to be that's how my lungs can be if you get pop growing
[00:39:52] I'm gonna slice you open fucking eat that fucking popcorn. Yeah, I do dude. I swear to God
[00:40:00] That's what I'm gonna do at your at your fucking casket. We're gonna have an open casket me slugs
[00:40:05] Don't have open casket, bro. They don't know really no
[00:40:12] That's no, that's some weird one to do the fucking that's some weird Catholic
[00:40:16] It's Jewish a Jewish funeral Jewish funeral to look like it's alive in a Jewish
[00:40:21] This is a they lay the body out and then everyone else goes through the pockets and
[00:40:27] Takes the money out and then they leave it for the earth to
[00:40:31] No, you're naked in a pine box wrapped in a shroud
[00:40:36] Really? Yeah, and it's not an elaborate
[00:40:40] Casket it's not allowed to be I kind of you know what I was thinking the other day
[00:40:43] I was on that I was thinking about death and I was worried about it
[00:40:45] And then I thought you know I kind of wouldn't mind it if I was entombed like they put me inside some kind of big statue
[00:40:51] Joseph Stalin. Yeah, that'd be cool. I want a big statue. I want to be standing upright with a sword
[00:40:57] We're gonna have fucking Adam in your tomb alive. Yeah. Yeah, I want him sealed in there
[00:41:02] And then suck all the air out with candles
[00:41:10] Like a cat and there will be no singing or speaking inside the tomb
[00:41:14] I'm gonna sing dude. You're dead. You can't tell me what to do. Uh, well, I mean Nick is gonna
[00:41:18] The rattlesnakes will take care of that pretty quickly. Uh-oh. Yeah
[00:41:22] I think would be cool if I just had a statue inside of a cobra pit
[00:41:25] And then I want them to also break all of my bones and extend them so everyone thinks I was eight feet tall
[00:41:33] I want to be buried getting my dick sucked. Yeah sexy skeleton. Yeah, I mean buried getting your dick
[00:41:42] What do you mean? That means exactly what it means, dude
[00:41:44] I want to be in a fucking I want to check this shit out. I want I want to I want to have my dick buried inside your mom's ass
[00:41:51] Yeah, that's true. That's how I want to be interred
[00:41:54] Um, yeah, dude. I'm in a cat. When I say I want to be interred. I want my dick to be in the turds inside your mom's ass
[00:42:02] You know how I like everyone makes fun of like your mom
[00:42:06] My mom and wall disney and elon must type people for like getting their brains frozen. Yeah. Yeah, why wouldn't you do that?
[00:42:13] Because it doesn't matter. Well disney's fucked. Oh, anyone who's cryogenically frozen
[00:42:18] Yeah, you're gonna bring him they're gonna bring him back in like 20 80 and wall disney is gonna be like wow thanks kikes
[00:42:24] Yeah, and then just say goodbye to all the computer scientists and brought him back like oh, why did we do this?
[00:42:34] And we brought him back to make cartoons
[00:42:37] Yeah, they needed beauty in the beast too. Yeah, they made a live action beauty in the beast with fucking her miney
[00:42:44] Dude, I was I worked on the uh, they have like
[00:42:48] They have promos for that shit all over
[00:42:52] Hulu and I worked on those like one of the commercials I worked on really yeah, so I was there with fucking Emma Watson
[00:43:03] We we had I had sex with Emma Watson, which means you walked in on her
[00:43:16] Which means you walked in on her taking a show. I didn't know we didn't interact at all. I mean they had me most I fucked her
[00:43:24] Fucker did you walk in on her taking a show? I fucked her but at a different time. No, I had to like peel
[00:43:29] I had to peel like 10,000 rose petals you count that
[00:43:34] Is her Emma no, they had to like blow rose petals. I like part of that was your job
[00:43:38] Yeah, and so I had to sit there for like eight hours peeling rose and Nick was just sitting there. He loves me. He loves me
[00:43:49] You said it. I didn't say I said I'm the president said it. I called him fat. You say it every episode
[00:43:55] No, I don't you say it like every other sentence. Yeah, it's your favorite word of all
[00:43:58] I haven't said it in weeks. No, I've had numerous people tell me that they can't listen to the show anymore because of how homophobic you are
[00:44:05] That's not true. No, I'm serious. You're the main point of contention with the show. It's not it's not me. No, it's clearly me
[00:44:12] I'm the main point of contention with the show because I the uh
[00:44:16] Because I'm I'm out and proud. Do you know your band from Legion of Skanks? I did Legion of Skanks here tonight
[00:44:24] Because you were the one that was talking shit on the way they look
[00:44:26] No, yes. Yeah, there is like you can come back with stops banned. I was like, I don't know why I'm in trouble
[00:44:32] I was the stop was the one that said it and they were like because you know you guys kind of operated as a group
[00:44:36] So he's like I'm what am I'm not gonna be mad at you because like, you know, that's fine somebody in your group says something's dick
[00:44:43] Yeah, no, you're banned from Legion of Skanks dude. Yeah, well whereas I'm welcome
[00:44:48] And then they also showed a picture of Adam and everyone was making fun of you
[00:44:51] Yeah, yeah, but I joined in so I made it. Okay. What did they say about me? Well, they were laughing that picture of you with the lubega hat on
[00:44:58] Oh, yeah, that's funny. Yeah, it's a good pick
[00:45:01] Someone took that and posted it during the Berkeley rise. No, I've retweeted it. That's so funny
[00:45:07] Yeah, someone took that picture of me wearing a fedora. It was like
[00:45:11] uh the anti-fascist protesters tried to beat me up but
[00:45:15] I made it back to my good one, but I made it back to my door
[00:45:22] Like I wish I'd seen that. Yeah. Yeah, what's the deal? What's going what happened was protest?
[00:45:27] We had the people didn't want Milo to fucking be there. They didn't want Milo to speak
[00:45:30] So what's it like what no one was talking about was that Milo went there to fucking out?
[00:45:36] Uh, yeah, he's gonna dock speakers. Yeah, he's gonna like drop docks of like students who were undocumented immigrants. Really? Yeah, he's a piece of shit
[00:45:46] He's a fucking asshole. Yeah, because like you probably I don't know
[00:45:50] Should should fucking dumb motherfuckers be allowed to talk at college games because I guess so
[00:45:55] But as long as you're not doxing people, right? Like yeah, no, I mean it wasn't like he was just gonna go like
[00:46:01] I'm gay and I but I know I suck black but I suck black cock and I fucking hate black people and women and women
[00:46:25] And why he's got a fatter face that I realized everyone's saying he looks like she's but he's not
[00:46:33] That's what people are always surprised to see what good shape I'm in you know because they think I'm gonna be in terrible shape
[00:46:39] Well, you got that expensive haircut has grown out nice. Yeah, no, why need another expensive haircut?
[00:46:45] That's the key to to to looking good folks is you just just spend the money on a fucking good haircut
[00:46:51] For years, I would just shave my own head and I look like a neo-nazi
[00:47:00] But then I got older and uh, I was like I need one of the neo neo-nazi haircuts
[00:47:05] And I got the Mackelmore the good shit dude. Mm-hmm. That's cool. I'm gonna start wearing wigs
[00:47:12] I'm tired of this shit. Do we should I get plugs? No, you should get like Shirley Temple ringlets. Yeah
[00:47:19] I would be great. I wish that was a no what I want you to have is a Jerry curl. Hell. Yes, that would be perfect
[00:47:31] Then I have to give the lure tracks. Yeah wear them every floor track suits one of those long
[00:47:36] Dangly cross earrings that sinbad has yes those ones that are like kind of always moving as you're talking
[00:47:45] Dude, I want you to look like a fucking like a like a spicy ethnic secretary from like
[00:47:53] What what's the technology on me being able to get a Jerry curl?
[00:47:56] It's non-existent again all the uses they man all the things to make men's bodies better
[00:48:02] We don't have any of that technology back to the initial point when we started this episode because men would go crazy with it
[00:48:12] A lot of men at plugs have definitely worked. Yeah, but they look weird Jeremy Piven
[00:48:17] LeBron James. They love that plugs. Of course he has plugs. They look bad then
[00:48:21] They looked bad, but then every season he comes out with better and better technology
[00:48:25] Yeah, because getting plugs for black guy was tough for yeah
[00:48:28] I like I like the black guys that still do the the balding black guy look that's the best look if LeBron actually let his shit
[00:48:36] Like go bald. It was like still dunking. That would be awesome. You're amazing
[00:48:42] Like fucking Clyde Drexler. Yeah, that's such a good look or even what is he doing black guys with bald heads look the coolest
[00:48:51] If the prawn went full Jordan full shaved head clean the people Jordan invented that shit
[00:48:58] Yeah, he was the first guy to do it. Yeah, he also invented the Hitler mustache. Yeah, that was so awesome
[00:49:04] Yeah, well he was so confident from the shaved head thing that he thought he could pull off the Hitler mustache and he never really did
[00:49:10] I bet you he could have pulled it off if he did it in his prime
[00:49:13] But it was he had lost cache at that point. Yeah, you can't be over the hill with a fucking Hitler mustache
[00:49:19] He was wearing like faded jinkos. Yeah, he had a real weird fashion sense. He still does. Yeah, he dresses bad
[00:49:26] But he's got a sexy ass wife. Yeah. Yeah, well that's latina. He was horrible to his
[00:49:32] To his first wife. Yeah his children with yeah, they tried to play basketball university
[00:49:37] Do you buy the conspiracy theory about baseball and gambling and the mafia? The mob killed his dad. Yeah, I do
[00:49:42] I think so too. It's so much cooler. Yeah. Yeah, that's the truth. I think it's true
[00:49:47] This is the best luck is completely bald travolta
[00:49:50] When he had the earring and the go. Oh, yeah, that's from that movie Paris with love. Yeah, he looks like a gene
[00:49:57] Did you watch that movie did we watch it together? Remember remember that story about him?
[00:50:02] Trying to jack off his like a masseuse. Yeah, well no constantly
[00:50:06] Whatever no, no, there have been multiple male masseuses that have said that he has tried to jack them off
[00:50:13] That is which is the opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:50:16] Opposite of what a massage client relationship is supposed to be he just goes into a restaurant and tries to cook a meal
[00:50:25] Yeah, that's an insult. I want to get a happy ending massage dude
[00:50:30] Adam, where did you go? Wait a minute. Hold on. This is please. I can now. Yeah, look at this. There's this place
[00:50:35] I'm assuming this is like Ridgewood or something this place. It's just called kike barber shop. No, it isn't
[00:50:41] Yeah, it's a key K. No, it's no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a shortened version of the name in reke
[00:50:51] What yeah, kike barber shop guys named in reke go by key K which is k ik e
[00:50:58] Is there an apostrophe before the first no dude, it's just kike barber shop. Yeah, it's a Dominican barber shop with a Dominican flag
[00:51:04] Yeah, it's definitely a dude named in reke kike barber shop. That's so fun
[00:51:09] But here's the thing he has to have an accountant that set up that business form
[00:51:15] The accountant's not gonna be like Dominican. I think this is great name kike
[00:51:20] You're not gonna run into any problems. I'm reporting you to the adl
[00:51:27] Oh, Amber just said this. Oh, she says he's in yeah. Yeah, we're about to completely forget that I just showed that picture and then show it again
[00:51:38] No, I just sorry. Oh wait check check out what Amber just sent me
[00:51:45] Amber just sent me a big ass for the foot guy. Yeah, it's
[00:52:04] You guys want to see john wick too? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I go tomorrow
[00:52:11] I feel like no dude. We should go to the drive-through. We should get that 57 Chevy like we were talking
[00:52:17] And we should all go to the drive-through together and hold hands in the front seat
[00:52:22] Let's stop has to wear poodle skirt. I will
[00:52:27] If you guys had to fuck one type of dog
[00:52:29] What kind of dog would you fuck my dog Isis?
[00:52:33] No Isis has those saggy ass titties. Dude. She's so ugly. I took a picture of her sleeping the other day
[00:52:39] He's a great headline. Sorry roll just sort of fucking around on our phones now
[00:52:43] This is a great headline from 11 days ago in the New York daily news
[00:52:47] Judy Garland was molested by Wizard of Oz munchkins says ex-husband. Yeah
[00:52:56] Was molested by several actors who portrayed munchkins in the Wizard of Oz
[00:53:00] Whoa, I mean they grabbed the titty or they put their whole little hands in her pussy
[00:53:05] This is why unions are a little hand in a pussy
[00:53:09] Midget and if they didn't have if they didn't have the
[00:53:16] These people wouldn't be able to you know
[00:53:18] Have meetings and figure out that they're all pedophiles they hid behind the collective bargaining rights
[00:53:24] Well imagine that like your emidget right strike one now your emidget pedophile
[00:53:29] Okay, you got to be the that's like cancel out
[00:53:32] You're the only gay Eskimo in that situation right?
[00:53:34] That's how you got a feel and you're on the set of the Wizard of Oz and you're like all right
[00:53:38] I'm gonna get molasses kid. I guess Judy Garland was the kid. Yes. She was probably 18. Yeah
[00:53:45] No, dude. She was like 14 years old. No, she was she was young. No Wizard of Oz
[00:53:51] She was on mad pills dude in like drugs. What's Wizard Oz 1938 Wizard of Oz uh
[00:54:00] 1945 right the day of Hiroshima same day
[00:54:08] Wizard of Oz was 1939 so they probably fell down. Yeah, she was 16. Yeah, she was 16
[00:54:16] Suggestified bearings. Well back to my point is like, you know, you're this midget pedophile
[00:54:20] Mm-hmm. Sorry little people little person. You're a little person. You're a little people people person
[00:54:29] Little people little people little little people person
[00:54:32] When you're a little little person which is the term that midget pedophiles prefer by the way
[00:54:39] Why do they prefer little person little person?
[00:54:43] This is what midget pedophiles prefer to be called. So I don't want to offend any of the midget pedophiles. It might be listening
[00:54:50] You're let's say you're a little diddle person and you're on the set of Wizard of Oz
[00:54:55] And you decide okay, I'm gonna molest this girl
[00:54:57] You do it out of sight of your your coworkers because you don't want to get caught
[00:55:01] Somehow she was molested by multiple little diddle people
[00:55:04] Which means and first of all imagine Ned Flanders trying to say that
[00:55:10] Little diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle
[00:55:13] Imagine Ned Flanders trying to say little Italy
[00:55:15] Imagine him trying to do that first from the big pun
[00:55:19] Couple of middlemen diddle didn't do diddle. What is that shit? What song there's a big pun verse
[00:55:27] Anyway, how did these fucking how do like what are the odds that there's another
[00:55:33] Midget pedophile on the set of that project with you. They're not having files
[00:55:38] They want to fuck normal women. This is the 40s. So 16 year old is like 32 years old. Yeah, it's like that
[00:55:44] Sound of music. I am 16. Go on 17. They're like we have to get married
[00:55:51] Fuck your I guess the boy was about to die in world war 12. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was a Nazi, right?
[00:55:58] No, uh, or yeah. Yeah, he was a Nazi. Yeah, he was a Nazi. He was a Nazi. Yeah
[00:56:06] It was rolph dude in the world the word to movie. Mm-hmm. Um, here's the he was the kind of wanna watch the sound of music on this tv
[00:56:12] I love the sound I did when I was a kid. Yeah, my sister was in the sound of music. No, she wasn't
[00:56:18] I know all the songs that movie came out in 1950. She was in the movie dude
[00:56:22] She was in a play version of it. They don't make play versions of movies. Here's the thing
[00:56:26] Yeah, they do that planters couldn't say
[00:56:28] Dead in the middle of little little little little did we know that we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddle
[00:56:35] Whoa did big pun was great. He really was rip
[00:56:38] Wasn't he really horrible to women? Yeah, but who cares? I mean, I don't but I don't care
[00:56:49] If you look at a lot of that a lot of it happened in the last like year and a half of his life
[00:56:53] Oh, yeah, he gained like 500 pounds in like a two-year span
[00:56:57] Yeah, because when he died he was like damn near 700 pounds. He was a TLC special. Yeah, yeah
[00:57:05] So wait, what happened with these fucking little what did have these midgets? They fuck it. They fucked Judy
[00:57:09] Yeah, they fucked Judy Garland. That's pretty cool
[00:57:13] Good for them. What the fuck molested. What is molested mean they grabbed a titty
[00:57:20] X munchkins. I guess they're called munchkins back then
[00:57:25] Yeah, but you're right at a much how about munch kids
[00:57:28] Yeah, why is that the one they're munchkins that go down on
[00:57:30] I'm sure these munchkins love the munch kids
[00:57:37] That's the headline on the New York Times munchkins love munch kids. Yeah
[00:57:43] Yeah, why is it little person? They alleged hold on. I gotta get the door. Is that JP? What time is it?
[00:57:48] How long have we been doing? Yeah, why do they prefer a little? I don't know. What is a good term though for midget?
[00:57:54] Uh, well a dwarf is like lord of the rings funny
[00:57:57] They don't like dwarf because that's like the kind of like elven. It's like yeah. Yeah. I don't know what about
[00:58:06] miniature what about they don't like getting any person
[00:58:11] Like they don't like good gnome. They're like gnome
[00:58:16] What's up, baby boy? What do you think a good term for midget would be? No, it'd be safer for the next episode. Okay. All right
[00:58:21] Oh, yeah, we gotta we gotta wrap this up. What are we been doing 58 minutes? Oh, so this one's done
[00:58:26] I guess if you want to start shaving two minutes off at the end you fucking you know what six weeks
[00:58:31] What is it gonna be? We're doing what 12 minute episodes?
[00:58:35] She's trying to pinch pennies. I wonder what impulse of yours led for that. I'm just saying they paid five dollars a month
[00:58:43] All right. No, hold on. Let me get back to this. So she got fucked by the dwarves
[00:58:48] Uh, I'm trying to they would make Judy's life miserable on set by putting their hands under her dress
[00:58:54] Oh, the men were 40 or more years old. Yeah, but they're children. Yeah
[00:59:00] Their little ass hands probably felt so funny touching pussies. Yeah, it must feel weird to have a little
[00:59:07] They could get away with anything because they were so small
[00:59:16] What's that what who wrote this article? Um, I don't know who cares what the fuck David Carr
[00:59:26] Yeah, David Carr for the Houston, Texas. Yeah, he's not in the league anymore. No shit his brother plays for the Raiders
[00:59:35] Love smell. Mark. Would you like to get jerked off by a midget? I say yes to get to make your dick my midget humongous
[00:59:42] I don't you know what I want you think would look so big. I won't get a hand up little ass hand
[00:59:49] Unless it's from a professional hand job
[00:59:54] Well, okay, we're about a Chinese midget
[00:59:57] If she's working at and those little hands get right in the crev- first of all she gives you a great regular massage
[01:00:03] Because your little ass hands get in the cree- nooks and crannies of your bag or she just one of those walkie kind of
[01:00:08] Or she walks on you and she's little and it doesn't hurt as bad
[01:00:11] I want a massage from someone with elephantiasis of the uh of the testicles
[01:00:15] I went to a basketball camp for two weeks my cousin
[01:00:19] And I was always terrible. I was always terrible basketball basketball for two weeks
[01:00:24] Included with my cousin in his him going to basketball camp and it would suck that was just humiliated every day
[01:00:32] But at the end they would like do like a fucking speech thing where you know the head coach or whatever would be like
[01:00:37] Okay, perseverance. What does that mean? You know that means not being a pussy?
[01:00:44] You know they pick a word and they break it down so assume you and me, you know that country
[01:00:49] But this there was a kid there who had a brother that would come at the end of the day with the mom who would pick him up
[01:00:54] And the kid had elephantiasis before I knew what it was elephantitis elephantiasis
[01:01:00] That's the name and that's the actual name elephantitis huge balls no
[01:01:04] Elephantiasis is the disease. I don't think elephantitis is either like a fucking deprecated term for it or okay
[01:01:13] Elephantiasis is where any part of your body at any moment could like explode it swells with like edema
[01:01:20] Yeah, I think elephantitis because I used to say elephantitis and I don't I think that is elephantitis would it would refer to a swelling of the elephant
[01:01:29] Mm, you know, that's what I thought it was a big ass elephant. No, I just thought it meant
[01:01:34] You know anyway, what so this guy had well
[01:01:36] Yeah, so this kid would come at the end of the day and like he would be able to use disabled because he had
[01:01:41] I guess maybe he's retarded also, but he had like a hit one of his knees was huge
[01:01:45] But then he also his index finger was huge
[01:01:48] Dude, this is like big were number one finger
[01:01:51] And he would sit there at the end of the day
[01:01:59] Coach would be giving a speech in this kid with his job. We're disabled fingers. Yeah, my man fingered good though
[01:02:06] Oh dude, man Norman Wolkerson had like a fucking eight week period where we just do jokes about that kid and like, you know
[01:02:14] He was really into your school. No, no, I told him about it Norman is a 49 year old
[01:02:18] I have a lot of story because you guys are like really is really into finger painting. Oh one day they did the living room and
[01:02:29] Yeah, he's like they tried to buy him a Chinese finger traps. They got like a director's megaphone
[01:02:35] Like you know any situation you can be what you could you know do with a giant finger. Yeah, yeah
[01:02:41] So yeah, that's the episode make a fun that's pretty good a disabled kid, you know, hopefully they you know found a
[01:02:46] A stint for him, you know, and he's got a normal finger now. You do that
[01:02:50] You just fucking suck out though. Is it pus or what the fuck is it? It's probably fluid fluid. Yeah, get it out
[01:02:57] Yeah, yeah, but it could kill him. Yeah, he needs that fluid