[00:00:00] Oh my god. Good afternoon. Hello. Mr. Penis. Mr. Penis, very nice to see you. You're late.

[00:00:13] You've come the class late and you've came in your pants early again. Mr. Bonton.

[00:00:19] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Professor Snipe. I'm just learning how to come. I wasn't raised

[00:00:25] by a gay wizard. I was straight my whole life. Oh shit. Wow. Shit. Wait, do we have an ad

[00:00:37] read? No, you're just doing this for fun. Wow. Naked smoking something and I won't say

[00:00:42] what it is because no free plays. Yeah, no free ad. Free ad. We picked up a crack sponsor.

[00:00:49] I feel like we're on Rogan. Yeah, dude. I feel like Elon Musk. I feel like Elon. I'm

[00:00:56] I'm you know what if what if the moon was made out of computers? Damn. That's a great idea.

[00:01:04] My damn. That's a great idea. Elon. You know, it's electric cars. I was the first

[00:01:11] person to even have that idea. Yeah. How about this? You did bumper cars. I wasn't

[00:01:15] just the guy that first to have billions and billions of fucking dollars to blow money

[00:01:19] on on bullshit electric cars. You know, you changed his name. What was his name? Elon.

[00:01:25] He changed it to E dash lawn. Oh, nice. Like electronic lawn. That's awesome. Well, it's

[00:01:30] really it was melon cusk. That's awesome. Yeah, everyone used to call him fucking melon head

[00:01:36] back back when he was growing up on South Africa on one on one one one 16th. Hey, metal

[00:01:42] head and head. I didn't know he was. They got no melon. That's how they. I didn't know

[00:01:47] he was from uptown. Harlem. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he means by South Africa.

[00:01:54] Because the Bronx is north Africa. Yeah. And Harlem is south. Bronx is more of like an

[00:01:59] algae area. We're legalizing it over here. Yeah. I want to get I want to get lifted off that.

[00:02:05] Fuck you, dude. Yeah. Let me get a pull. You can pull this little nut sack. You know, I'm not

[00:02:10] sick. All the other my neighborhood. I've got the beep coming back. Oh, I like it.

[00:02:16] Dude. Return of the beep. Return of the one second. Well, legalize it. Don't criticize it.

[00:02:35] Don't give me pussy. Wow. This is some premium. I'm not going to say what it is. But it's premium.

[00:02:47] But it's it's premium. It's like scientists chose this. Honestly, it feels good. It actually

[00:02:52] does feel good to smoke stuff. Man, I got sick and you know, when you get sick, you got corona,

[00:02:59] even though you're you're vaccinating. No, I had a I had strep throat. I had a big tear. You

[00:03:06] keep hitting it. You don't want to pony. Pondé paste duchy and saccano, my dick.

[00:03:14] Nice. Yeah.

[00:03:15] Yeah.

[00:03:19] Oh, I'm gay.

[00:03:50] I December,

[00:04:03] negotiations with

[00:04:10] meet

[00:04:15] That's awesome dude.

[00:04:16] That's really good.

[00:04:17] That's the radio edit.

[00:04:18] That was worth it.

[00:04:19] That'd be very funny if that was the radio edit.

[00:04:41] It was just like my fucking dude.

[00:04:48] We're not sure what it means.

[00:04:50] It's instead of Jewish people who are Irish guys or Italian guys that own the recording

[00:04:55] industry.

[00:04:56] They were like, yeah, sorry, we're going to have to edit your...

[00:04:59] We'd have to do a radio edit on your song.

[00:05:04] It would be way better if they put the names.

[00:05:07] Yep, adding in words.

[00:05:12] We want to make it family friendly.

[00:05:14] This kind of shit sells.

[00:05:17] The more end bombs listen.

[00:05:20] You don't have enough ends.

[00:05:22] That had to be a note somewhere in the history of recording music.

[00:05:26] There was a guy.

[00:05:28] Do you think that maybe you could say, you know, I'm not going to say it, but you'd

[00:05:33] like that.

[00:05:34] You know, it's hot.

[00:05:37] Hold on.

[00:05:38] Let me go in the booth.

[00:05:39] Hold on.

[00:05:40] Yeah.

[00:05:41] And then that's him walking out of the recording studio into the producer's booth.

[00:05:48] Okay.

[00:05:49] Getting on the...

[00:05:50] Can you hear me?

[00:05:51] I'm like, yeah.

[00:05:52] Okay, Terrence, what I want you to say is more...

[00:05:54] If you can put more...

[00:05:58] In the song, that would be great.

[00:05:59] All right, I'll put my back in there.

[00:06:02] Can you say, absolutely.

[00:06:03] Right after NWA when they were trying to do copycats, Jews were getting their hands

[00:06:07] all over that kind of shit?

[00:06:08] Yeah.

[00:06:09] We need to hang your head.

[00:06:10] Wasn't that part of the movie that there was like a villainous Jew involved, played

[00:06:14] by Paul Giamatti?

[00:06:15] I never saw a movie.

[00:06:17] I didn't see a movie, but I felt like that was part of it.

[00:06:21] Yeah, I felt like I didn't need to see it because I lived it.

[00:06:23] They need more attitude.

[00:06:24] Didn't we already do that on the...

[00:06:26] I don't know.

[00:06:27] When that movie came out.

[00:06:28] I don't know.

[00:06:29] Could you just have more attitude?

[00:06:32] He kind of talks like the Joker.

[00:06:34] He does a little bit.

[00:06:35] Paul Giamatti does, yeah.

[00:06:38] I remember seeing sideways and being like, I damn...

[00:06:41] Paul...

[00:06:42] Why don't you get more pussy?

[00:06:43] I like Paul Giamatti.

[00:06:44] Paul Giamatti.

[00:06:45] I saw it with my dad.

[00:06:46] It was a weird...

[00:06:47] It was a really strange movie.

[00:06:48] He's your dad.

[00:06:49] I was like, oh, ****.

[00:06:50] Um, no.

[00:06:51] Yeah, okay.

[00:06:52] I was just wondering.

[00:06:53] I don't know.

[00:06:54] I don't know what you asked me, but I don't think he is ****.

[00:07:01] I'm sorry.

[00:07:02] I'm ****ing Elon Musk, dude.

[00:07:05] Uh-huh.

[00:07:06] Groms, give me some pussy.

[00:07:08] Groms, give me some bony pussy.

[00:07:11] I'm good off that.

[00:07:12] I'm mad, so...

[00:07:13] You're good off the Cheba?

[00:07:14] Yeah.

[00:07:15] I'm mad.

[00:07:16] I'm mad, lifted.

[00:07:17] Yeah.

[00:07:18] I'm feeling good.

[00:07:19] This settled my stomach.

[00:07:20] Actually, yeah.

[00:07:21] I forget how nice it is.

[00:07:22] It is really nice.

[00:07:23] And I do kind of feel something.

[00:07:25] Yeah.

[00:07:26] Now that I don't really smoke much weed anymore.

[00:07:29] Yeah.

[00:07:30] Well, that's what it's for.

[00:07:31] Well, you actually smoke Paul now.

[00:07:32] What do you mean?

[00:07:33] Cock.

[00:07:34] Never made sense to me.

[00:07:35] What do you mean?

[00:07:36] How is that a euphemism for...

[00:07:38] Shut up, Adam.

[00:07:39] Sucking a penis.

[00:07:40] Smoke pole is awesome.

[00:07:41] Smoke pole is...

[00:07:42] The thing about these that's great is you can like really ******* rip them and you just...

[00:07:46] You hit a ceiling where it's like...

[00:07:48] Absolutely.

[00:07:49] That way you can make sure you got all of it.

[00:07:50] Yeah.

[00:07:51] It's like the opposite of...

[00:07:52] You know when you drink anything out of a Tetra pack?

[00:07:54] What's a Tetra pack?

[00:07:55] Like a coconut water?

[00:07:56] Yeah.

[00:07:57] Absolutely.

[00:07:58] It always leaves some to the juice.

[00:07:59] You always gotta shake it.

[00:08:00] There's always an extra **** and it's like this...

[00:08:03] I feel like I'm in a zoo.

[00:08:04] I feel like I'm in prison.

[00:08:06] How is this better for the environment?

[00:08:08] You're making me throw out juice.

[00:08:09] I totally...

[00:08:10] I couldn't agree more about anything.

[00:08:11] It feels wasteful.

[00:08:12] We're trying to have money.

[00:08:13] Yeah.

[00:08:14] So I'm thinking about going to the zoo this weekend to see the tigers.

[00:08:17] That's awesome, bro.

[00:08:18] How are you going?

[00:08:22] Probably not.

[00:08:23] I thought you have a seasoned pass.

[00:08:24] I do.

[00:08:26] How many times do you use this?

[00:08:27] I use...

[00:08:28] I go back to like two or three times a year.

[00:08:29] I go to the prospect park zoo.

[00:08:31] Oh, you don't go to Bronx?

[00:08:32] I do the Bronx.

[00:08:33] Because the Bronx is...

[00:08:35] The Bronx you gotta go, you gotta spend like a week at the Bronx.

[00:08:38] A week.

[00:08:39] There's not enough...

[00:08:40] It's like an amusement park.

[00:08:41] There's not enough time to see everything in one day.

[00:08:43] Really?

[00:08:44] I think I'm going to...

[00:08:45] It's that big?

[00:08:46] You got yes, dude.

[00:08:47] Is it bigger than the Maryland Zoo?

[00:08:49] For sure.

[00:08:50] Yeah.

[00:08:51] Really?

[00:08:52] Yeah.

[00:08:53] That just shows you how little...

[00:08:54] Like my frame of reference is still Baltimore.

[00:08:56] I'm like, no, the biggest zoo is the Maryland Zoo.

[00:08:58] I don't even know.

[00:08:59] But I mean, I would imagine...

[00:09:00] There's a train that takes you over a bunch of tigers.

[00:09:03] Whoa.

[00:09:04] At the Bronx, dude?

[00:09:05] Yeah.

[00:09:06] That's how you go in the fucking monorail.

[00:09:09] Are you serious?

[00:09:10] But yes, they'll be.

[00:09:11] Tigers are amazing.

[00:09:12] They are pretty cool.

[00:09:13] Well, you didn't like them until I said that.

[00:09:16] They're scary.

[00:09:17] Honestly, you put me on a tiger.

[00:09:19] Not ever since you...

[00:09:20] So I was being honest and admitting that he's afraid of them.

[00:09:23] I am afraid of them.

[00:09:24] We have a mutual understanding of most tigers.

[00:09:26] I'm afraid of most tigers.

[00:09:27] And Adam, you're a liar.

[00:09:28] I'm a bullsh**.

[00:09:29] Your favorite animal is the fucking...

[00:09:32] The duck penis to platypus.

[00:09:35] That's true.

[00:09:36] The penis build platypus.

[00:09:39] It's got a dick on its face that it sucks fake with.

[00:09:43] Which is the gayest way to suck dick.

[00:09:46] It's through your own face cock.

[00:09:49] And that's your favorite animal.

[00:09:51] I think that's pretty talented.

[00:09:52] And when furries came out, you're like, can I be this?

[00:09:54] It doesn't technically have fur, but it's very gay.

[00:09:57] Can I be this?

[00:09:58] Can I be this one?

[00:09:59] Can I be this one?

[00:10:00] Yeah, shot that one.

[00:10:02] And the furries were like, that's all right.

[00:10:05] That's even...

[00:10:06] Sorry, for even for us.

[00:10:07] There was some of the gayest people ever invented.

[00:10:10] Yeah, there's this guy who gave it to semen breathing dragon.

[00:10:13] The oldest in that crew.

[00:10:16] Dude, those furry suits must smell so bad.

[00:10:20] Yeah, people get in cream pie.

[00:10:22] They probably have little flaps to get cream pieed in.

[00:10:24] Yeah, don't they have penis flaps to get their junk out of?

[00:10:27] I don't know.

[00:10:28] I just know from the on-tourage episode, we're turtle some chicks.

[00:10:32] You get fucked in.

[00:10:33] What's the name of the show, Adam?

[00:10:38] On-tourage.

[00:10:39] Yeah, I get it.

[00:10:42] No, you don't.

[00:10:43] I got it.

[00:10:44] You don't get it.

[00:10:45] I don't get it.

[00:10:46] Thank you, Erg, for the truth.

[00:10:48] Why?

[00:10:49] Hot chick goes up to turtle and she's like...

[00:10:50] He was used to describing the show ballers, but he said what he calls it is his...

[00:10:57] That's not what I call it.

[00:11:01] That would be a wild...

[00:11:02] I call it...

[00:11:03] Hey, you folks.

[00:11:04] It's me, Dwayne Johnson.

[00:11:07] I can't see much of it.

[00:11:08] I think I'll call a show where Rob Cordury is the second lead.

[00:11:12] That beef ballers makes us know.

[00:11:15] Almost knows that.

[00:11:16] No, no, that...

[00:11:17] Bebontourage.

[00:11:18] Oh, yeah, bebontourage.

[00:11:19] I call it sports on-tourage.

[00:11:21] I actually don't...

[00:11:22] I don't know anything about the show.

[00:11:23] Oh, I've seen two and a half seasons.

[00:11:26] I've seen a single episode of Ballers, Nor, On-Tourage.

[00:11:29] I haven't seen On-Tourage either.

[00:11:30] I haven't seen...

[00:11:31] I haven't seen...

[00:11:32] I haven't seen...

[00:11:33] ...either white or black on-tourage.

[00:11:34] I'm going to start calling it...

[00:11:35] I wouldn't say Ballers is black on-tourage.

[00:11:37] I'm going to start calling the original one white on-tourage.

[00:11:40] It is.

[00:11:41] Smart.

[00:11:42] It is.

[00:11:43] It'll be fun to do a woke tweet like that.

[00:11:44] It's like, you know what?

[00:11:45] How about we start calling On-Tourage white on-tourage and Ballers we just call that...

[00:11:50] And-tourage.

[00:11:51] We call that regular...

[00:11:52] The real on-tourage.

[00:11:53] Yeah.

[00:11:54] What was that?

[00:11:55] People are like, what are you talking about?

[00:11:57] And I'm like, I don't know.

[00:11:58] Oh my god.

[00:11:59] I've sent something racist in private and now I've converted it into me being...

[00:12:03] Yeah.

[00:12:04] I called something gay once when I was 13.

[00:12:06] Did you see that tweet from that trans person that said,

[00:12:09] No.

[00:12:10] After exposing myself to several Jewish people over the last two days and 99% of them being rude to me,

[00:12:15] I'm starting to understand the motivations behind the Holocaust.

[00:12:19] No, uh-huh.

[00:12:20] What do you mean exposing themselves?

[00:12:22] I was like, penously?

[00:12:23] No.

[00:12:24] They're flashing them?

[00:12:25] No, I think just spectra.

[00:12:26] And they're not saying they're trans.

[00:12:27] They're trans.

[00:12:28] Oh.

[00:12:29] That's awesome.

[00:12:30] But, and I can see why that would annoy Jews because it's given them a little taste to their own medicine.

[00:12:34] Right.

[00:12:35] But like, Jews are constantly, like, trans people coming out of the closet?

[00:12:40] No, they're kind of...

[00:12:41] You just be on the bus and they'll be sitting across from you.

[00:12:44] And they'll be like, not you.

[00:12:45] You make rude eye contact.

[00:12:46] Like eye contact and they're like, sorry, I didn't know if...

[00:12:49] I'm Jewish by the way.

[00:12:50] Right.

[00:12:51] I didn't know if you were looking at me.

[00:12:52] Yeah, we do do that.

[00:12:53] Yeah.

[00:12:54] You do, yeah.

[00:12:55] You invade spaces Jewishly.

[00:12:57] That's why we put...

[00:12:58] You take up too much space Jewishly.

[00:13:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:01] Yeah.

[00:13:02] In terms of atmosphere.

[00:13:03] Atmosphere, for sure.

[00:13:05] Yeah.

[00:13:06] For sure.

[00:13:07] But some of them, you can't even see.

[00:13:08] They're hidden.

[00:13:09] Did Jews?

[00:13:10] Yeah.

[00:13:11] Pulling all of the string.

[00:13:12] They kept them out in the woods.

[00:13:13] Back in the woods.

[00:13:14] The woods Jews.

[00:13:15] They used to take them out of the woods and put them in camps, we learned recently.

[00:13:20] Oh, really?

[00:13:21] Yeah.

[00:13:22] There's a lot of them we compute.

[00:13:23] Yeah, concentration camps they call them.

[00:13:25] Did they hide the...

[00:13:27] Jews did that.

[00:13:28] They didn't know it.

[00:13:29] Jews put that whole thing together?

[00:13:31] No, there was a group of Germans.

[00:13:33] Oh, right.

[00:13:34] You're listening to hardcore history.

[00:13:36] So many a lot of people don't know about that.

[00:13:40] They had never heard that.

[00:13:41] Are you serious?

[00:13:42] That's fucked up.

[00:13:43] Yeah.

[00:13:44] There's a lot of people who knows about World War, the World War, but there was actually a little

[00:13:49] unknown.

[00:13:50] There was a second World War that happened.

[00:13:54] Not the one with trenches and shit like that.

[00:13:56] Not the Great War.

[00:13:57] Not the Great War.

[00:13:58] Yeah.

[00:13:59] There was a Great War too.

[00:14:00] There was a Greater War.

[00:14:01] Even better war.

[00:14:02] The Greater War.

[00:14:03] Yeah.

[00:14:04] That's fucking wild.

[00:14:05] Yeah.

[00:14:06] There was...

[00:14:07] Yeah, they...

[00:14:08] There's a one that's about...

[00:14:11] It's about veto corleone or Michael.

[00:14:15] Michael.

[00:14:16] Michael was the first coming into his own.

[00:14:19] Yung veto is both.

[00:14:21] Yeah.

[00:14:22] Yung veto.

[00:14:23] Yung veto was a piece of ass by the way.

[00:14:27] Yung veto.

[00:14:31] Yung veto.

[00:14:34] This is a beat song like the movie American Gangster.

[00:14:41] No.

[00:14:49] No.

[00:14:51] No.

[00:14:53] No.

[00:14:55] That was the best one because it only makes sense with the beat.

[00:15:00] It doesn't make sense if we take the beat away.

[00:15:03] Yeah, it doesn't.

[00:15:04] That's awesome.

[00:15:05] Yeah.

[00:15:06] It's kind of a fucking postmodern.

[00:15:07] Well, it gives you a glimpse into the audience glimpse into our minds.

[00:15:11] In which we're never actually saying the word, we only hear the beep.

[00:15:14] We only hear the beep.

[00:15:15] And the thing's only operate within the context of the beep.

[00:15:17] That's right.

[00:15:18] And if you were thinking something...

[00:15:19] If you were thinking it...

[00:15:20] You're the bad person.

[00:15:21] You're the filthy...

[00:15:22] You're the beep.

[00:15:23] You're the beep.

[00:15:24] You're the beep.

[00:15:25] I accidentally said beep while pressing the button.

[00:15:28] Yes.

[00:15:29] Because that's so much what your brain recognizes.

[00:15:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:34] I do have a text replacement on my phone.

[00:15:42] Oh, really?

[00:15:43] Yeah.

[00:15:44] I'll send it to the group and I'll see if you can figure out what it is.

[00:15:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:49] I'm interested to see.

[00:15:51] So I have that.

[00:15:52] I forgot that I had that saved on my phone until I typed it accidentally.

[00:15:55] Is that Morse code?

[00:15:57] It is Morse code.

[00:15:59] Okay.

[00:16:00] I don't speak Morse code.

[00:16:02] Oh, wait.

[00:16:03] Hold on.

[00:16:04] Oh, no.

[00:16:05] No, stop.

[00:16:06] Stop doing it.

[00:16:07] No.

[00:16:08] Oh, damn.

[00:16:09] That counts.

[00:16:10] That was very close.

[00:16:11] Wow.

[00:16:12] You think there was ever a guy in the...

[00:16:13] Oh, for sure.

[00:16:14] They were like...

[00:16:16] They let that one fly a lot.

[00:16:25] We need you to bleep out all the time.

[00:16:27] Anytime it comes up, he's just...

[00:16:29] Stop.

[00:16:30] Stop.

[00:16:31] Don't sneak it in.

[00:16:33] Don't sneak it in in this hypothetical.

[00:16:35] Message from the Titanic, sir.

[00:16:38] I don't think you're going to believe this.

[00:16:42] Yes, in the middle of the ocean.

[00:16:44] Ask them to confirm.

[00:16:52] How many is that?

[00:16:53] I don't know.

[00:16:56] 50, 100.

[00:16:59] Just describe...I need you to be very calmly.

[00:17:03] Stop yelling.

[00:17:05] Look around and describe what you're seeing on the Titanic.

[00:17:15] So this is a robot that can't...

[00:17:17] Who are they talking to?

[00:17:18] The joke is that the Titanic is communicating with the rescue ship.

[00:17:24] Right.

[00:17:25] No, I'm getting an SOS.

[00:17:26] Yes.

[00:17:27] They have regular radios.

[00:17:29] Right.

[00:17:30] There's no...

[00:17:31] There's no Morse code.

[00:17:33] I see.

[00:17:34] So the guy's like, we need help.

[00:17:36] And the other guy's like, what is it?

[00:17:37] What's going on?

[00:17:38] And then he's like, just tell me what you see.

[00:17:41] And then the guy on the Titanic is like, well, I see...

[00:17:43] Oh, I get you.

[00:17:46] And then when we're watching the movie, they have to be...

[00:17:50] They bleep it out.

[00:17:52] So you think it's Morse code.

[00:17:53] So imagine the scene with the guy...

[00:17:55] With his headphones on.

[00:17:58] And they're like, it's the Titanic, sir.

[00:18:00] And then he's just hearing like, boop, boop, boop.

[00:18:03] I forgot everything in that movie except the dancing, her breasts, and when the poor kids

[00:18:07] go to bed and they're about to just drown the dead.

[00:18:09] Isn't that the old people?

[00:18:10] No, the mom's putting the kids to bed.

[00:18:12] The mom's putting the two bed scenes.

[00:18:15] And then the two rich people are going to bed and they love each other.

[00:18:19] No, they're old and poor.

[00:18:20] They're old and rich, I thought.

[00:18:21] They're not the rich people we're allowed off the boat.

[00:18:24] The old poor people were in the bottom.

[00:18:26] Some of the rich people stayed.

[00:18:28] The industrialist.

[00:18:29] No, they didn't.

[00:18:30] No, they did.

[00:18:31] They put on their...

[00:18:32] Classtrader.

[00:18:33] I don't know, fucking...

[00:18:35] Listen to the fucking classtrader.

[00:18:37] I got a question for you.

[00:18:38] I'm free then.

[00:18:39] I got a question for you.

[00:18:40] Adam Sula.

[00:18:41] I got a question for you.

[00:18:42] So the band...

[00:18:43] You know, here's a good scene too.

[00:18:44] The band...

[00:18:45] The band...

[00:18:46] It's a captain in the...

[00:18:47] No, yeah.

[00:18:48] We'll do your joke.

[00:18:49] You stole from Kings of Comedy.

[00:18:50] And that's what I'm going to do.

[00:18:51] Wait, that's what he was going to do?

[00:18:53] What the hell kind of black band you know keep playing while the ship's going?

[00:18:57] You know Adam is not even going to have his own bit.

[00:18:59] He's going to ironically repeat a very funny joke from...

[00:19:02] It's one of the funniest jokes of all time.

[00:19:04] Okay, yeah.

[00:19:05] As if it's a bad joke.

[00:19:07] That's not a bad joke.

[00:19:08] But then if it's not...

[00:19:09] The best part is...

[00:19:10] Hold on, Adam.

[00:19:11] If it's not, then you're stealing it.

[00:19:13] Well, I thought it was like a famous...

[00:19:15] I didn't know.

[00:19:16] I don't remember.

[00:19:17] I thought it was a reference.

[00:19:18] You know most of our fucking fans are 14-year-old autistic boys.

[00:19:21] Well, they should listen to the Kings of Comedy especially.

[00:19:23] They should listen.

[00:19:24] They should listen.

[00:19:25] They should watch it.

[00:19:26] They should watch it.

[00:19:27] Even though his delivery was horrible, it was a great idea.

[00:19:30] Yeah.

[00:19:31] I thought it was a reference.

[00:19:32] I thought it was a little reference.

[00:19:33] Yeah, the King of Reference.

[00:19:34] And then he goes to the reference.

[00:19:36] With the punchline, Adam referenced.

[00:19:38] Adam referenced it.

[00:19:39] Cooling the gang would be like, come on y'all.

[00:19:42] And then he whips the mic chord.

[00:19:43] No, the punchline is the dinner napkin.

[00:19:46] He whips the mic chord.

[00:19:47] He's got a physicality to the bit.

[00:19:49] It's very good.

[00:19:50] He whips the mic chord up.

[00:19:52] It's Steve Harvey's bit.

[00:19:54] Respect.

[00:19:55] And then he does a part where he...

[00:20:01] No.

[00:20:02] F***ing it.

[00:20:03] Whoa, Adam.

[00:20:04] Jesus fucking Christ.

[00:20:05] No, he uses the dinner napkin as a sale to...

[00:20:07] But he's got the stool upside down.

[00:20:11] He flips the stool up and he's standing in it.

[00:20:14] And then he takes the dinner nap and says blossom.

[00:20:17] Oh, that's awesome.

[00:20:18] That's awesome.

[00:20:19] Which you can tell it was all set put on the stage because he has this big Titanic.

[00:20:22] That's great.

[00:20:23] He was so smart.

[00:20:24] He was close enough.

[00:20:25] No, that's at the beginning of this question.

[00:20:28] Wow.

[00:20:29] Yeah, he came in hot.

[00:20:30] He comes in hot.

[00:20:31] Well, he's hosting.

[00:20:32] So, this...

[00:20:33] Yeah.

[00:20:34] What I was going to say is it's the scene where the captain is on the shit.

[00:20:40] Let's have another...

[00:20:41] We haven't done a Titanic episode in a while.

[00:20:43] Let's do a big one.

[00:20:44] Let's do it.

[00:20:45] We're going through and just talked about the movie Titanic.

[00:20:47] Let's do a triple X.

[00:20:48] For 20 minutes.

[00:20:49] It's been some...

[00:20:50] In a long time.

[00:20:51] I haven't told this to rip back.

[00:20:52] But anyone wants to do the week's worth of work to edit this into a clip of scenes from

[00:20:58] Titanic.

[00:20:59] Yeah.

[00:21:00] We'll just recap some of the other bits.

[00:21:07] So, Billy Zane's the good guy in the movie.

[00:21:10] Billy Zane's the good guy.

[00:21:11] Classic, maulin take.

[00:21:13] I forget what else.

[00:21:15] I don't know that we have much else.

[00:21:16] Kathy Bates is being a big bitch.

[00:21:17] All right, Kathy Bates.

[00:21:18] I'm a big bitch.

[00:21:19] I'm a big bitch.

[00:21:20] I'm a big bitch.

[00:21:21] Kathy Bates.

[00:21:22] Come on, man.

[00:21:23] She could probably suck a nice prick.

[00:21:25] That's the name of the character.

[00:21:26] But the captain is the ship's going...

[00:21:29] Maybe just whoever already did the compilation.

[00:21:31] Why don't we do the thing where we listen to old episodes on this episode?

[00:21:35] Go ahead and take the video down and then edit this part into it.

[00:21:38] Yeah, so you could have a super mega super mega.

[00:21:40] But the captain as the scene where the glass is cracking or whatever before the water rushes

[00:21:46] in and he decides to go down with the ship.

[00:21:48] We pull back and his pants are down and he's masturbating to the idea of being killed by

[00:21:56] water.

[00:21:57] Yeah, you know?

[00:21:58] That sounds kind of hot.

[00:22:00] It sounds like he sunk the ship on her.

[00:22:01] There would be your emotions would be running on high.

[00:22:04] We got to watch more bad movies so we could go into them on the show.

[00:22:07] I know, dude.

[00:22:08] I was trying to get you guys to watch space.

[00:22:10] That honestly is like the only type of skill I ever acquired in my life.

[00:22:15] That's what we love.

[00:22:16] Watching a movie and barely remembering.

[00:22:18] Right.

[00:22:19] Right.

[00:22:20] Yeah.

[00:22:21] Well, actually one thing I forgot to mention to you guys, what, you know, the one thing

[00:22:26] that shot up to do with the one thing that PC culture never got to never took from us.

[00:22:34] What's that saying for penny coin culture?

[00:22:37] Was that was that Speedy Gonzalez is still on the team with two points culture paying

[00:22:42] coupons.

[00:22:43] That's pretty good Speedy Gonzalez is still a character and you still like I'm Mexican

[00:22:49] and fast.

[00:22:50] But then the credits rolled and it was none other than what's his name?

[00:22:57] Fluffy.

[00:22:58] No, fluffy fluffy fluffy voices.

[00:23:01] He gets to be Speedy Gonzalez.

[00:23:03] He has to be Speedy Gonzalez.

[00:23:04] Why the fuck is there no Greek Looney tune?

[00:23:06] How about that?

[00:23:07] How about a mouse named BP Gonzalez?

[00:23:10] That's good.

[00:23:11] Like I just can't stop seeing.

[00:23:15] I can't stop seeing.

[00:23:17] I'm so sleepy when I wake up.

[00:23:22] I just see everywhere.

[00:23:24] I have dreams when I have the sombrero over my eyes and not when I see when I dream.

[00:23:29] I see nothing but pink on parade.

[00:23:35] Stop where were we where we watched the Gabriel Iglesias like failed reality show.

[00:23:41] Do you remember that?

[00:23:42] Was it Ottawa?

[00:23:43] Yeah, I think it was in Canada.

[00:23:45] It was in Canada somewhere.

[00:23:46] It was truly demented.

[00:23:48] And we didn't have access to the internet or some shit.

[00:23:50] So all we could do was watch television and we found or maybe it was even it was definitely

[00:23:56] somewhere maybe even Australia maybe.

[00:23:59] But it was just like yeah, Gabriel Iglesias and like his boys.

[00:24:03] His boys.

[00:24:04] His boys.

[00:24:05] His turtle, his E, his drama.

[00:24:07] Yeah.

[00:24:08] I don't know.

[00:24:13] I don't know.

[00:24:18] I don't know.

[00:24:21] I don't know.

[00:24:24] I feel like it's going to be not going to be.

[00:24:27] I want to get a big.

[00:24:29] Yeah, I'm parade.

[00:24:30] But I can't this is I keep I should do I should plan ahead.

[00:24:34] You should do more.

[00:24:35] Yeah.

[00:24:36] You don't need a man.

[00:24:38] Don't you ever do that.

[00:24:41] Be cool to do a reality show where it's like I'm going to Alaska.

[00:24:44] I'm going to survive for a week on my own.

[00:24:47] And then it's like the first episode is like chartering the plane meeting the crew.

[00:24:52] It's like laying out the goals.

[00:24:54] Yeah.

[00:24:55] They're like, you know, I'm like meeting a bunch of people to go in there like.

[00:24:58] So what kind of glowed out are you getting?

[00:25:00] I'm like, I don't know.

[00:25:01] I haven't really thought about it.

[00:25:02] They're like, what should you?

[00:25:04] What kind of rations are you going to bring?

[00:25:06] You're like, I guess we're going to figure it out when we get there.

[00:25:08] I'm going to order a couple of pizzas from the dominance.

[00:25:11] I'm going to put them in the fucking aluminum foil.

[00:25:13] I'm more worried about how my hair looks right now.

[00:25:18] And then the helicopter drops me off and it's like, well, it's been 15 minutes and

[00:25:22] I'm dying.

[00:25:26] There wasn't a plan.

[00:25:27] The show is over.

[00:25:29] And now stay tuned next week when I fuck a fat woman in a hotel and Cincinnati when

[00:25:35] she recognizes me from being the guy from this show coming up on Alaska.

[00:25:41] Surviving Alaska, surviving the tundra with Doug Cash.

[00:25:48] Doug Cash.

[00:25:51] He's coming and he's going to pork some fat.

[00:25:54] Next week on Doug Cash.

[00:25:55] Well, I don't really have any condoms because I don't really do this kind of thing.

[00:25:59] I thought, you know, there's something special about you when I was hanging out at the airport

[00:26:04] bar.

[00:26:07] This is new for me.

[00:26:09] Yeah.

[00:26:10] I don't know where we are.

[00:26:15] Watch a motel six.

[00:26:17] A motel four.

[00:26:20] No motel five.

[00:26:23] No.

[00:26:25] Is it a motel seven?

[00:26:29] No.

[00:26:30] It's one more than five and one less than seven.

[00:26:39] Dude, you want to hear that?

[00:26:41] That basically happened to me growing up.

[00:26:43] There was a girl that was a girl with Down's Edge earned to recognize you.

[00:26:47] No reality shows.

[00:26:49] No, no.

[00:26:50] No, no.

[00:26:51] That's not what happened.

[00:26:52] That basically happened.

[00:26:53] What I'm saying is there was a girl that was like, she had like a little piece of retarded,

[00:26:58] right?

[00:26:59] She wasn't full, but she was slow.

[00:27:01] She's got a little piece of her piece of retarded.

[00:27:05] And she was trying to make...

[00:27:07] She was like, we would all hang out on our friend's porch, right, in Greektown.

[00:27:15] There was like a cut, you know, and she lived across the street and she had a...

[00:27:19] We were friends with her brother.

[00:27:21] And she was like, you know, you felt bad.

[00:27:24] She would like try and like become friends with all these like shitty mean Greek girls

[00:27:28] that wouldn't befriend her or whatever.

[00:27:31] And then she would...

[00:27:33] She just like walked up to some of them that were like having a conversation and they

[00:27:37] were like talking about some girl, you know, and they were like, she was like, oh, I know

[00:27:42] her.

[00:27:43] And they're like, okay.

[00:27:44] She was like, yeah, she's got blonde.

[00:27:46] And they were like, you don't...

[00:27:48] I think they were like, no, I don't think you do.

[00:27:50] And she's like, no, I know.

[00:27:51] And she's like, she got blonde hair and they're like, yeah.

[00:27:53] And she was like, and she was 16 before she was 17.

[00:27:56] And they were like, oh, yeah.

[00:27:59] But that was like her lie of like a fact about someone that she knew to fucking...

[00:28:05] Not a poor girl.

[00:28:06] She was like, she was 16 before she was 17.

[00:28:10] That's true.

[00:28:11] You were like, what?

[00:28:12] Yeah, but that's not...

[00:28:15] That's not how you...

[00:28:16] What you know about her.

[00:28:17] That's just not a fact about her.

[00:28:18] That you remember.

[00:28:19] That's right.

[00:28:20] Yeah.

[00:28:21] But it was...

[00:28:24] I'm sorry.

[00:28:26] Anyways, are we going to do the blowjob or not?

[00:28:28] Anyway.

[00:28:29] What's a blowjob?

[00:28:30] Well, it's going to be a big learning day for you.

[00:28:33] You know you love learning.

[00:28:35] Tough cash.

[00:28:36] Surviving, getting retarded pussy.

[00:28:39] Surviving Alaska.

[00:28:40] On this episode of Surviving Alaska.

[00:28:44] It is connecting flight to Anchorage.

[00:28:47] He's getting head from a retarded girl.

[00:28:49] Now a detective is come sniffing around.

[00:28:52] So I'm having a meeting at the headquarters of a former massage agent who does blackmail.

[00:28:57] By the way, my real name is Doug Moishovich.

[00:29:02] My real name is Doug Isley.

[00:29:05] Listen, we'd love to help you.

[00:29:09] But from what you describe it sounds like you did rape a retarded girl.

[00:29:15] And right now we are the big issue trying to kill Ben and Jerry or make Ben and Jerry.

[00:29:22] Look at...

[00:29:23] Look at like they are not actually homosexual with each other.

[00:29:28] I did hear that.

[00:29:29] I heard that they were gay.

[00:29:30] Because we used to make them say we're gay.

[00:29:34] But now we do that they have to be not gay.

[00:29:38] They have to be not gay.

[00:29:39] Because that's only reason people eating the ice cream is because they think they're fucking

[00:29:44] gay.

[00:29:45] Which is good now.

[00:29:47] Because of what we did.

[00:29:50] It's true.

[00:29:51] Damn dude, pray for Ben and Jerry.

[00:29:55] Dude, it is so fun.

[00:29:57] How that fucking happened is they were on social media hot last year being like fuck

[00:30:03] racist ass America.

[00:30:05] And then one person was like, yeah, you have fucking shops and like the occupied territories.

[00:30:12] And then they just stopped tweeting.

[00:30:14] They thought it would go away.

[00:30:16] And then...

[00:30:17] I thought it was more than that.

[00:30:18] I thought they were like Israel boys or something.

[00:30:21] They are.

[00:30:22] And then fucking like...

[00:30:23] Damn, that's okay.

[00:30:24] A week ago I forget there was an article that was like Ben and Jerry's hasn't tweeted

[00:30:27] for two months.

[00:30:28] Is it because of the Israel Palestine conflict?

[00:30:30] And Ben and Jerry's was like, all right, I guess we got to just...

[00:30:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:30:34] Now we got to do this.

[00:30:35] Because this inconsistency is going to be pointed out over and over and over again.

[00:30:39] Which makes them actually kind of worse than the fact that they were doing that makes them

[00:30:43] worse than...

[00:30:45] The fact they had a story in...

[00:30:47] Yeah, that they were like participating in genocide and it's a genocidal company and

[00:30:52] the racist...

[00:30:53] Well they stopped, right?

[00:30:54] So we can eat their ice cream again.

[00:30:56] There's better options.

[00:30:57] I love Ben and Jerry's, bro.

[00:30:59] They've been killing it for a long time.

[00:31:02] Dude, the fucking ice cream place next story is amazing.

[00:31:04] Sweetie sweets.

[00:31:05] Yeah, something like that.

[00:31:08] Don't say it, man.

[00:31:09] It's a little bit of a production.

[00:31:10] I don't know.

[00:31:11] All right, so you just said it, but I mean, whatever.

[00:31:14] It means a little taste of your own medicine to be clear, to be fair, Nick.

[00:31:18] I believe you said Adam's full address.

[00:31:21] I had to edit that out too much, though.

[00:31:24] Adam's full address is up and on, Adam.

[00:31:26] One of the instances it has is because Adam's weak dad at the episode.

[00:31:32] That's true.

[00:31:33] I forgot about that.

[00:31:34] That's your fault, Adam.

[00:31:37] This kind of carelessness is going to get you murdered by a guy.

[00:31:40] I really want to be the co-host of this podcast.

[00:31:45] Anyone can do it.

[00:31:46] And by the way, that is we operate on a Highlander style.

[00:31:50] If you hurt my head off, you can sit on this camp.

[00:31:53] You can be Adam.

[00:31:54] You can sit here.

[00:31:55] You can ride on my family.

[00:31:56] You just got a car with a daddy.

[00:31:57] Girl, got it.

[00:31:58] So, Rogan got the $100 million spot of fighting.

[00:32:07] That's fine.

[00:32:08] But now they call me daddy, you girl.

[00:32:09] They've got a $60 million spot of fighting.

[00:32:11] Wow, wow.

[00:32:12] Can we get?

[00:32:13] I think it's a big podcast.

[00:32:15] It's a big podcast.

[00:32:16] Give us, I don't care.

[00:32:17] No, I get pussy from her.

[00:32:18] This is a very podcast.

[00:32:21] You do?

[00:32:22] We go out with each other.

[00:32:23] The Chinese guy from Star Trek Voyager listens to this show.

[00:32:25] He does.

[00:32:26] He does.

[00:32:27] I would assume so.

[00:32:28] Yeah.

[00:32:29] We have a lot of...

[00:32:30] I can't imagine why he wouldn't.

[00:32:31] We have a lot of celebrities.

[00:32:32] There's a lot of, yes, there's a lot of very important people listening to this show.

[00:32:37] Joe Azuzu.

[00:32:38] Oh, fuck.

[00:32:39] That's awesome.

[00:32:40] Joe Tamarquio from Mr. Tar.

[00:32:41] You guys are right.

[00:32:43] You guys are right.

[00:32:44] Joe Tamarquio.

[00:32:45] I have no idea what you're talking about.

[00:32:46] Oh, that's a nice man.

[00:32:47] That's a nice man.

[00:32:48] The reference sounds hilarious.

[00:32:49] I love references.

[00:32:50] Oh, dude.

[00:32:51] You got to go to fucking...

[00:32:52] Listen, you want to get tires in the Towson, Maryland area.

[00:32:55] You got to go to...

[00:32:56] Well, stop it, everybody.

[00:32:57] It's Joe Tamarquio from Mr. Tar.

[00:32:59] Mr. Tar.

[00:33:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:33:01] Yeah.

[00:33:02] Joe Tamarquio from Mr. Tar.

[00:33:04] When you started speaking, I heard nothing but weird Greek noises.

[00:33:08] No, no, no.

[00:33:09] That's Baltimore, not Greek.

[00:33:11] I heard Joe Tamarquio from Mr. Tar.

[00:33:16] Get that guy.

[00:33:17] Basically, any car mascot, any automotive service mascot.

[00:33:21] Bob Bell.

[00:33:22] They all listen to the show.

[00:33:25] We used to in Vegas have a guy who...

[00:33:28] We're ranked number 1,783 in podcasts on Spotify.

[00:33:32] That's at least 60 million.

[00:33:34] Well, yeah, if you consider Rogan's 5, call me by your daddy's name.

[00:33:39] Call me by your daddy's name.

[00:33:40] This is like 90-something.

[00:33:41] So maybe they're 5 and Joe Rogan's 1.

[00:33:45] Right.

[00:33:46] So let's say the top spot is 100 million.

[00:33:48] Yeah.

[00:33:49] Three...

[00:33:50] Who's the top one?

[00:33:51] Joe Rogan.

[00:33:52] Joe Rogan.

[00:33:53] You divide 100 million to get to us.

[00:33:55] Yeah.

[00:33:56] You'd look at the rate of decay in between number 1 and number 5 from 100 million.

[00:34:02] The ratio between those.

[00:34:03] Right.

[00:34:04] 100 to 60.

[00:34:05] And this is a little bit of calculus.

[00:34:07] You're going to learn.

[00:34:09] So we're going to do 100 minus 60.

[00:34:12] That's 40.

[00:34:13] 40 million.

[00:34:14] Divided by 1 through 5.

[00:34:17] 4.

[00:34:18] Sequence.

[00:34:19] And then you graph that.

[00:34:21] And then you get the arc.

[00:34:23] And then if you multiply that by our number, which is 1500, you get $25 million.

[00:34:29] Which is what...

[00:34:30] Seems right.

[00:34:31] What were O's?

[00:34:32] Seems right.

[00:34:33] Where's Spotify's?

[00:34:34] It's in like Oslo or some shit.

[00:34:37] Is it a Swedish company?

[00:34:39] No, I think they're in Dover.

[00:34:41] They're in Dover?

[00:34:42] Delaware?

[00:34:43] Yeah.

[00:34:44] Oh, dude.

[00:34:45] Time to hop in the fucking...

[00:34:46] Let's get on 95.

[00:34:47] Hop in the fucking station wagon.

[00:34:48] Get a cup of fucking...

[00:34:49] I might not be a dovers.

[00:34:50] No, I think it's a stock call.

[00:34:52] I might be thinking of a race track.

[00:34:54] Dover Downs.

[00:34:55] Yeah.

[00:34:56] That's true.

[00:34:57] Because they play music sometimes.

[00:34:58] Over the PA.

[00:34:59] I think they were...

[00:35:00] I think they were...

[00:35:01] I think they were 16 before they were 17.

[00:35:03] Yeah, also.

[00:35:04] That is...

[00:35:05] Oh, I was thinking of Dover Downs.

[00:35:08] Yeah, I was thinking of the ponies.

[00:35:11] Yeah.

[00:35:12] That's Spotify.

[00:35:13] Yeah, dude.

[00:35:15] Should we get sniper rifles and indiscriminately shoot in the windows at Spotify until they

[00:35:21] give us 30 million?

[00:35:22] I've never been there with my grandpa when I was over there.

[00:35:25] You think that'll work?

[00:35:26] How will they know that they're supposed to give us money to make it stop?

[00:35:30] In the bullets we write little messages.

[00:35:32] The forends.

[00:35:33] Little message in a bottle.

[00:35:35] Yeah.

[00:35:36] Nice.

[00:35:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:35:38] If you want to suck my dick, baby, there's a price to pay.

[00:35:44] I'm a homo in a bottle.

[00:35:46] Just the guy going around a Halloween party.

[00:35:47] He's got a cartoon lamp shoved halfway up his ass.

[00:35:51] He's painted blue.

[00:35:53] He's like, I'm a bottle and genie.

[00:35:57] That's my costume.

[00:35:58] Yeah.

[00:35:59] Yeah, you know, it's just a little play on words.

[00:36:02] Yeah.

[00:36:03] I work at BuzzFeed.

[00:36:04] I work at BuzzFeed.

[00:36:05] I work at BuzzFeed.

[00:36:06] The whole party smells like his asshole.

[00:36:07] Yeah.

[00:36:08] Just a little open.

[00:36:10] 15 frozen GIFs that illustrate Aziz rape accusation.

[00:36:15] Yep.

[00:36:17] Let it go.

[00:36:18] That's the one.

[00:36:19] That's the one I would use.

[00:36:21] That's what I said.

[00:36:22] Dreamworks.

[00:36:23] Every time women made dreamless works faces while being triggered them badly.

[00:36:29] Oh, fuck.

[00:36:30] Yeah.

[00:36:31] Okay.

[00:36:32] So if we get, okay, how about this?

[00:36:40] If we just get three million, yeah, and we each get a million, but we can just, then

[00:36:45] we can just stop podcast.

[00:36:46] Not with hyperinflation coming, dude.

[00:36:49] Really?

[00:36:50] Oh, yeah.

[00:36:51] Fuck dude.

[00:36:52] I only watched a couple of clips from that Biden town hall, but it is, it's hilarious.

[00:36:56] What do you say?

[00:36:57] I mean, he's just out of his mind.

[00:36:59] Yeah.

[00:37:00] He's definitely like, it's funny because the last week has been nothing but like all this

[00:37:04] talk about cracking down on misinformation on social media, which.

[00:37:09] Who said that?

[00:37:10] I'm too old and tired to scream about that.

[00:37:13] Yeah, I don't care.

[00:37:14] Go ahead.

[00:37:15] Take just take away free speech for his.

[00:37:16] I don't care.

[00:37:17] It doesn't.

[00:37:18] It will give me please make this show illegal to do.

[00:37:22] Oh, that would be so awesome.

[00:37:24] That would be awesome.

[00:37:25] Yep.

[00:37:26] But that will never be the case because it's too stupid.

[00:37:30] Exactly.

[00:37:31] It's too stupid to ever be a real threat.

[00:37:34] So the best case scenario is it continues to destroy our lives, but be better than the

[00:37:41] alternative of having the going back to working at a gas station.

[00:37:44] Yeah, right.

[00:37:45] I'll say whatever they want me to.

[00:37:47] Exactly.

[00:37:48] I stand for nothing.

[00:37:49] Anyways, the whole week of like misinformation stuff and then Biden's just like, that's the

[00:37:55] thing is, is that if you get one of these, anyone, I don't want to the three VAP, the

[00:37:59] first voice.

[00:38:00] The fucking mumbling and rambling respect, which is awesome.

[00:38:04] It's like, if you get any one of these three vaccines, you can't get coronavirus.

[00:38:09] That's awesome.

[00:38:10] And he's like, especially not the Delta disease that's going around now.

[00:38:13] And he's just like an outright blatant lie, which he probably thinks is the truth.

[00:38:20] That's the I don't even think he's lying.

[00:38:21] I think he's just too.

[00:38:22] That's how feeble his mind is that it's just like vaccine means no goes.

[00:38:27] Let's get sick.

[00:38:28] Yeah, there's like asked about inflation.

[00:38:32] And he's like, he's like these spending packages will reduce inflation to reduce inflow, like

[00:38:39] a Marge Simpson.

[00:38:40] Take us.

[00:38:41] Wether fucking.

[00:38:42] Yeah.

[00:38:43] Dude.

[00:38:44] And every time you see him talking, the best part is just thinking about Hillary Clinton

[00:38:47] watching him talk.

[00:38:48] Oh my God.

[00:38:49] That's not.

[00:38:50] That is still a nice little ray of sunshine and all of this.

[00:38:54] That's all that's left.

[00:38:55] I hope Donald Trump is mailing Hillary pictures of his penis.

[00:38:58] Yeah.

[00:38:59] I hope he's doing that to her.

[00:39:01] Prank calling her.

[00:39:02] Yeah.

[00:39:03] That would pay a hundred thousand dollars to those tapes.

[00:39:06] Hey, you're doing.

[00:39:07] Hi, Hillary.

[00:39:08] This is Domino's Pizza.

[00:39:09] We're looking for your house on the driver, but it seems windshaper cool, but we forgot

[00:39:17] the address if you can just give out the driver.

[00:39:22] It's no, it's me.

[00:39:23] I know you called an order to pizza about an hour ago.

[00:39:27] You called it the fat bitch special.

[00:39:29] Well, I'll tell you what, just in case you order a pizza in the future from Domino.

[00:39:32] Also, it doesn't matter that you don't order from a legally we need to address.

[00:39:37] So you're going to have to give it to us.

[00:39:40] He calls back, like, Hillary, it's from the lesbian pantsuit store.

[00:39:44] And lesbian, Hillary.

[00:39:51] Do you want to see how it's turned penis?

[00:39:55] Damn.

[00:39:56] What's her day to day like?

[00:40:02] What I really want to see is a guy's cock.

[00:40:05] Yes, dripping wet.

[00:40:07] How the fuck we've already done.

[00:40:08] We've already done.

[00:40:09] It's already minutes.

[00:40:10] No, that sounds great.

[00:40:11] No, it feels like it's been 10.

[00:40:14] It's awesome, man.

[00:40:15] We've been having so much fun.

[00:40:16] No, something has to be wrong.

[00:40:17] No, I think it's been another.

[00:40:19] It came to comedy.

[00:40:20] I think, I guess now that you say it's probably been 40.

[00:40:22] No, it feels like 40.

[00:40:24] Something's up.

[00:40:25] Nothing's up, bro.

[00:40:26] There's no way we did 40.

[00:40:27] Yeah, we just don't care about the show.

[00:40:32] We didn't jump into like a time space continuum.

[00:40:35] We've just been kind of babbling for 40 minutes.

[00:40:37] No, it makes it flow.

[00:40:40] Yeah, the beeps, the beeps fill out a lot of time.

[00:40:44] Oh, I forgot that.

[00:40:45] We played Return of the Mac.

[00:40:46] You played it for almost like three whole minutes at the beginning.

[00:40:48] That's the way to get to the beeps.

[00:40:52] That paid off, dude.

[00:40:53] That was very funny.

[00:40:54] That was very funny.

[00:40:55] We're talking about this too.

[00:40:57] I haven't been laughing.

[00:40:58] We did talk about John Chandler and Janice.

[00:41:01] Generally, though, it does feel like we've been sitting here for 10, 11 minutes.

[00:41:04] That's just what it's like hanging out with friends, dude.

[00:41:07] With the fellows.

[00:41:08] I guess I don't have any friends.

[00:41:10] I don't have any cause at the time.

[00:41:12] I mean, before I sidetracked myself, there was, oh yeah.

[00:41:16] I wish I knew how to edit video.

[00:41:19] You absolutely can do it before.

[00:41:22] No, but I mean real good to take that town hall and just have Biden's pants keep falling

[00:41:26] down and exposing big polka dot boxers every five minutes.

[00:41:31] You could absolutely learn how to do that.

[00:41:33] I love when people ask him questions now too.

[00:41:35] He has this like.

[00:41:36] That's why they put the aviator.

[00:41:38] This like ridiculous face that he's making.

[00:41:42] I can't wait until he runs again.

[00:41:44] Yeah, he looks like he's getting fucked in the ass by the question itself.

[00:41:48] A big question mark.

[00:41:50] An animated question mark is going into his ass.

[00:41:53] Hey, Mr. Biden, the 100,000 women were raped on the border yesterday.

[00:41:58] What do you have to say about that?

[00:42:01] Look, man, you gotta be what happened to be in a cool customer?

[00:42:08] Everybody used to be a good Tom Charlie.

[00:42:11] You could say, for instance, you could say that perhaps there's different kinds of doesn't

[00:42:16] matter how you make this all says long as you got, you got help.

[00:42:21] That's right.

[00:42:22] Yeah, I can't go on vacation.

[00:42:26] Yeah, well, you got to break a couple of things in a lot of ways.

[00:42:29] He's kind of like the worst elements of the last or at least not maybe not the worst,

[00:42:35] but he's got a little bit of all of the other guys in him.

[00:42:38] Absolutely.

[00:42:39] Yeah, he's the greatest hits.

[00:42:40] His bailing on a sentence at the end or like bailing on like a on like already a mixed

[00:42:46] metaphor the way Bush used to.

[00:42:48] Yeah, which was probably the best thing about Bush.

[00:42:50] Oh, yeah.

[00:42:51] That's it was hilarious.

[00:42:52] It is funny to hear like him talk again.

[00:42:54] You're like, Oh, yeah.

[00:42:55] Yeah, that was funny.

[00:42:57] Bush is like we in show like Trump obviously is the funniest president of all time and

[00:43:01] he'll never be topped.

[00:43:03] But Bush had bangers.

[00:43:05] No, watch this dry.

[00:43:06] Watch this drive is one of the funniest things of all time.

[00:43:09] Watch this drive.

[00:43:11] The gynecologist thing where it was like they can practice their love with women.

[00:43:16] Yeah, he had some fucking absolute heaters.

[00:43:21] He had some bangers going to the bank is something that Jews are absolutely born to do.

[00:43:26] Everyone said that.

[00:43:28] I was at your bar mitzvah.

[00:43:30] Yeah, he was getting special guests.

[00:43:33] He knows.

[00:43:34] Yeah, you wanted a Texas themed apartment.

[00:43:38] Yeah, there's a bunch of gay little Jews and assless.

[00:43:41] We had a big cowboy.

[00:43:43] We had a retard get executed.

[00:43:46] Yeah, Texas.

[00:43:48] Yeah, an elderly black retard with no evidence really against it.

[00:43:53] It is very funny.

[00:43:54] Like the guy anyone who's ever served in the government of Texas watches or reads of mice

[00:43:59] and men at the end.

[00:44:00] They're like, good.

[00:44:01] Yeah.

[00:44:02] That's what's supposed to happen.

[00:44:06] This should be called the good store.

[00:44:08] He shouldn't call the thing that how it works in a real society.

[00:44:17] Society.

[00:44:19] So George with Lenny was the retard, right?

[00:44:22] Yeah, well, they were both retards, but like Lenny was the big retard and George was the

[00:44:28] small retard.

[00:44:29] It was like a pinky in the brain.

[00:44:30] I think comparison he was less.

[00:44:34] He was the biggest brands.

[00:44:35] And so Lenny snapped the lady's neck and George, why did George kill him?

[00:44:42] Because they were going to fucking like the other guys were going to string him up.

[00:44:46] I see.

[00:44:47] Yeah, it was humane.

[00:44:48] I see.

[00:44:49] It's like when a horse breaks its leg.

[00:44:51] Yeah, Texas style.

[00:44:52] Yeah.

[00:44:53] And what do you think George was up to after that?

[00:44:55] You think he found himself another retard best friend?

[00:44:57] Hopefully.

[00:44:58] He wasn't alone the rest of his life or at least got some pussy.

[00:45:04] Did they ever get pussy in that book?

[00:45:07] How about George and Jenny?

[00:45:10] And Jenny is also from Forrest Gump?

[00:45:14] No, like a giant woman.

[00:45:16] Yeah, but it's the 30s.

[00:45:19] And so like, well, like Jenny's trans, but George is like, you know, it's like, Jenny,

[00:45:25] we're going to run into trouble.

[00:45:26] So you're going to have to pretend to be retarded.

[00:45:28] Yeah, I see.

[00:45:29] That's why everybody thinks you're in a dress because you're a retard.

[00:45:33] No, they think you're a girl, but you're big.

[00:45:36] You're big like that because you're a retard.

[00:45:40] Jenny's like, all right, I guess.

[00:45:44] And then the book ends because Jenny's in the barn like helping the hot farmer wife with

[00:45:53] something.

[00:45:54] Wow.

[00:45:55] I'll just, let me, I'm going to walk over here.

[00:45:58] And they got a huge dick.

[00:46:01] And I just fault.

[00:46:03] Yeah, they trip and over there.

[00:46:06] Huge cock.

[00:46:07] They trip over.

[00:46:08] And they're like, Oh, goodness.

[00:46:10] Yeah, they're like, they're that picture.

[00:46:13] You know the animation of Wolverine dropping the towel?

[00:46:16] Yes.

[00:46:17] Yes, yes, sure.

[00:46:18] And it's like that happens.

[00:46:19] And then the farmer's wife is like, Oh, I'm going to tell my dad and Jenny's snaps are

[00:46:24] neck to make sure she doesn't tell.

[00:46:26] Yeah.

[00:46:27] Yeah, to keep her secret.

[00:46:28] Yeah.

[00:46:29] That's a and then when and then George takes her out into the river and Jenny's like,

[00:46:35] listen, I'm not an actual retard.

[00:46:37] I know you're trying to kill me and George is like, yeah, but it's better.

[00:46:40] I do it than those damn TERFs.

[00:46:43] Yeah.

[00:46:44] Back at that feminist.

[00:46:45] A.K.

[00:46:46] Rowley.

[00:46:47] Yeah.

[00:46:48] Yeah.

[00:46:49] So British bitch with little bangs.

[00:46:50] We had to get a job where you get a farm hand job at a TERF co-op.

[00:46:54] And George shoots Jenny through the skull and he's crying and Jenny turns around and

[00:47:04] she's like, George and George is like, Oh my God, there's just a gaping hole through

[00:47:10] Jenny's head and George is like, Do you don't have a brain?

[00:47:13] Right.

[00:47:14] But I thought you were born a man and Jenny's like, I guess I've been a woman the whole

[00:47:20] time.

[00:47:21] Wow.

[00:47:22] And it's a it's beautiful.

[00:47:26] It's called the Good Store.

[00:47:27] The Good Store.

[00:47:28] It's called Good Story Part 2.

[00:47:29] It's called my Texas drift.

[00:47:31] Texas drift.

[00:47:32] Yep.

[00:47:33] It's called all women are brainless.

[00:47:36] It's called a mice and a really big bitch.

[00:47:39] Good story.

[00:47:41] Good story.

[00:47:42] Good story.

[00:47:43] Part two.

[00:47:44] Texas style.

[00:47:45] Good story.

[00:47:46] They love being from there.

[00:47:49] Yeah.

[00:47:50] Yeah.

[00:47:52] I can't wait to move there with you boys.

[00:47:54] I'm not moving anywhere.

[00:47:56] Texas is a very funny place.

[00:47:58] I remember when I lived there, you would think I'd never seen it before, but like I

[00:48:03] forget if it's Ford or Chevy, they have like trucks that are just branded Texas edition.

[00:48:09] That's awesome.

[00:48:10] Yeah.

[00:48:11] The King Ranch.

[00:48:12] The F-150.

[00:48:13] Yeah.

[00:48:14] But this one is specifically say Texas edition.

[00:48:17] Texas edition.

[00:48:18] Yeah.

[00:48:19] You know they had an N word head ranch F-150.

[00:48:23] Oh yeah.

[00:48:24] Yeah.

[00:48:25] Rick fucking what's his name?

[00:48:26] Rick Perry had that one special.

[00:48:27] Special made.

[00:48:28] Yeah.

[00:48:29] That guy was pretty funny too, but he was he was just like a pretender, you know.

[00:48:32] Yeah.

[00:48:33] I think he was pretty chill guy.

[00:48:35] Who's that campaign video he had where he was like it's hard to believe we live in

[00:48:37] a timer.

[00:48:38] They'll let gays serve openly in the military.

[00:48:41] But your children aren't allowed to use the N word to screw.

[00:48:44] Yep.

[00:48:45] Yeah.

[00:48:46] That's some common sense.

[00:48:47] Very crazy.

[00:48:48] That's a good time.

[00:48:49] Was he under the name of a right common sense?

[00:48:52] Yeah.

[00:48:53] Yeah.

[00:48:54] I want to play that.

[00:48:55] That's it was awesome.

[00:48:56] Rick Perry did kind of rock a little bit.

[00:49:00] Just another retard Texas governor trying to run it back.

[00:49:03] Yeah, but he put on glasses to see him smarter.

[00:49:05] He was kind of like Richard the Kobe.

[00:49:07] He was kind of like the Kobe to George Bush's Jordan, you know.

[00:49:12] He was one B to one A.

[00:49:14] Exactly.

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:16] It was a it was a steeper drop off.

[00:49:17] Still get me wrong.

[00:49:18] No, they're pretty close.

[00:49:19] They're pretty pretty close.

[00:49:21] But I guess his grandfather didn't know the CIA or father, I guess.

[00:49:26] I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every

[00:49:31] Sunday to know that there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly

[00:49:36] in the military.

[00:49:37] Our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

[00:49:41] Wait, I thought you were joking.

[00:49:43] And Obama's war on religion and I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious

[00:49:48] heritage.

[00:49:50] Faith made America strong.

[00:49:51] It can make her strong again.

[00:49:54] I'm Rick Perry and I like that music.

[00:49:57] Dude, he literally saved kids.

[00:49:59] He's concerned about.

[00:50:00] Yeah, you're allowed to say that you don't have to be in the pews every Sunday.

[00:50:03] No, there's something wrong when a big trans bitch named Jenny can't even be shot in the

[00:50:08] head without a brain spilling out all of it.

[00:50:12] This is why I oppose the release of the liberal education system editing of John Steinbeck's

[00:50:20] The Good Story to pass the strip in which Jenny finds out she's been a real woman the

[00:50:26] whole time.

[00:50:28] I'm Rick Perry and I have paranoid skits.

[00:50:31] I really miss that.

[00:50:36] Like there used to always be one black Republican in every election cycle.

[00:50:42] Kind of culminating with Herman Cain.

[00:50:44] Herman Cain.

[00:50:45] There's that guy Allen.

[00:50:46] All right.

[00:50:47] He's the big dick prince.

[00:50:48] You remember that guy?

[00:50:49] watching Pokemon in heaven right now.

[00:50:50] They were all like rolly backpacks.

[00:50:52] He's an alley.

[00:50:53] Allen keys the guy Obama beat.

[00:50:55] Yeah, he beat him in.

[00:50:56] But he ran for president too.

[00:50:58] Yeah, but the Republicans have to get the black guy next time.

[00:51:02] They got to go.

[00:51:03] That's got to be that David Clark.

[00:51:05] None of them are really presidential.

[00:51:07] No, no.

[00:51:08] Remember they were trying to say Bobby Jindal's bitch ass.

[00:51:11] That guy is such a nerd of the page.

[00:51:14] They're all too hard core now.

[00:51:16] Yeah, none of them are like chill.

[00:51:19] That David Clark guys very.

[00:51:20] They got that other guy.

[00:51:21] Allen Scott.

[00:51:22] What is he the sheriff?

[00:51:24] Yeah, he's like Chuck Norris his friend.

[00:51:26] He's like the other guy.

[00:51:29] Where's the cowboy?

[00:51:31] Yeah.

[00:51:32] I'll meet you over there Walker.

[00:51:34] I'll meet you at the place we're going in the next scene.

[00:51:37] Yeah.

[00:51:38] He's from Milwaukee.

[00:51:40] Oh, yeah, I'm really that guy.

[00:51:44] Fuck.

[00:51:45] I call him milk walkie.

[00:51:47] Milk walkie because when I go there, I want to see some big old tits.

[00:51:50] Yeah, stroll.

[00:51:51] He's a little chankered fed to get your big fucking tit.

[00:51:54] That's what I told her myself.

[00:51:56] Dude, I got on that show surviving Alaska.

[00:51:59] I was the no go ahead.

[00:52:01] Tell the story.

[00:52:02] No, no, no, no, Adam, please.

[00:52:05] No, I cut you off.

[00:52:06] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:52:07] You ran Milwaukee.

[00:52:08] Oh, I was in Milwaukee with Racine and he booked us an Airbnb that we both had to literally

[00:52:13] run away from.

[00:52:14] Why?

[00:52:15] It was a scariest place on earth.

[00:52:17] There was blood on the sheets.

[00:52:18] What?

[00:52:19] And then there was an eaten chicken like rotisserie chicken in the fridge.

[00:52:24] And yeah, it was it was terrifying.

[00:52:27] It seemed like it was like a safe house.

[00:52:30] Did was he scammed or was he just bad?

[00:52:32] It was like the pictures looked a lot better than this.

[00:52:35] Yeah.

[00:52:36] Anytime I stay somewhere, like I've been done in a while, but I used to get scammed all

[00:52:42] the time on hotel tonight.

[00:52:43] But it was like, there's like newer hotels are owned by Chinese.

[00:52:49] Yes, yes, yes.

[00:52:50] Anytime a hotel has pictures of pop art of the rolling stones in the lobby.

[00:52:57] It's worse than a truck stop or whatever.

[00:53:01] Yeah.

[00:53:03] I'm trying to get my Airbnb on a little bit while I'm on the road so I can cook my own

[00:53:06] meals, you know, you bring your blender on the road.

[00:53:11] You know, I'm off smoothies.

[00:53:12] I've been eating more just salads now when I want to get spinach.

[00:53:15] It's better for you.

[00:53:16] I want the fucking yeah, it is better.

[00:53:18] My apple beans last night.

[00:53:20] You did?

[00:53:21] Yeah.

[00:53:22] What'd you have?

[00:53:23] Well, I got my usual the Oriental chicken salad and the appetizer sampler.

[00:53:27] But what?

[00:53:30] The Oriental chicken salad from Applebee.

[00:53:32] Fucking good.

[00:53:34] Is that where they put the little crispy little thing?

[00:53:36] The little little little.

[00:53:37] The crispy little bit.

[00:53:39] Asian salads always used to have that they don't have any more.

[00:53:42] Mander and oranges.

[00:53:43] Mander and oranges.

[00:53:44] They were all over the place.

[00:53:45] Any Zumas or as I like to call them.

[00:53:48] They don't get they're never going to they're never going to add that.

[00:53:52] No, that's the thing that generation doesn't understand.

[00:53:54] Did you guys ever have the Jello with a little mandarin oranges in it?

[00:53:58] No, no, that's aspect.

[00:53:59] Isn't it?

[00:54:00] Aspic.

[00:54:01] I don't think so.

[00:54:02] Aspiness.

[00:54:03] I think it's a type of J.A.

[00:54:04] penis.

[00:54:05] You suck penis.

[00:54:07] You ate penis out of a jelly can.

[00:54:09] No, I did not.

[00:54:11] We got to the bottom of that.

[00:54:13] Oh, fuck that's the bottom line.

[00:54:16] Coming up on surviving Alaska.

[00:54:18] Dude, honestly, the charges have been filed.

[00:54:22] How will Doug get out of this one?

[00:54:25] It's called witness intimidation.

[00:54:27] See, this is a.

[00:54:28] Thousands of times.

[00:54:30] This is a Bowie knife.

[00:54:31] A lot of people are familiar with these.

[00:54:34] They don't know is they think it's mostly for whatever they're for.

[00:54:37] I don't even know what the fuck they're for.

[00:54:39] I'm too lazy.

[00:54:40] He kills it.

[00:54:41] It's hard to go with the knife.

[00:54:42] Dude, the AC is blowing right on me and I had a haul all cart last night and I'm in it.

[00:54:47] The coldness is harming my stomach.

[00:54:48] I've been catching some whiffs.

[00:54:50] Yeah.

[00:54:51] Of some stuff.

[00:54:52] Oh, I've only had a haul all cart last night.

[00:54:56] Damn.

[00:54:57] Why?

[00:54:58] Because I was out till doing spots and I was like, this rocks.

[00:55:00] This is my old life.

[00:55:02] I got high with our boy Derek Gaines.

[00:55:04] I was like, I'm having a great time.

[00:55:06] There's some aspects of the old life I won't return to.

[00:55:08] One of them is eating that fucking chicken off those guys.

[00:55:11] I was never really into that, I guess.

[00:55:12] It tastes really good.

[00:55:14] Haul all cart.

[00:55:15] Oh, yeah.

[00:55:16] Oh, yeah.

[00:55:17] Maybe I just don't know where the good one.

[00:55:18] The white sauce is very good.

[00:55:21] Yeah.

[00:55:22] I know a couple great spots.

[00:55:23] When you catch a good one, you catch a good one.

[00:55:26] And I was like, you know what?

[00:55:27] I'm going to.

[00:55:28] I was, yeah, I had three spots.

[00:55:29] I'm running all over town.

[00:55:30] I smoked fucking a little weed with the comics afterwards.

[00:55:33] It felt like we were the spots.

[00:55:35] I felt like old times.

[00:55:37] I did like some show on the Lower East Side.

[00:55:40] Then I did the show, Louisa's show in the old fucking UCB Chelsea.

[00:55:49] Were whiplashes to me.

[00:55:50] Oh, Antennellies.

[00:55:51] They call it now.

[00:55:53] Yeah, Antennellies.

[00:55:54] Yeah.

[00:55:55] The Cascade by Antennellies.

[00:55:57] Yeah.

[00:55:58] And then I was at the stand on Thursday.

[00:56:02] Oh, fascist.

[00:56:04] The late show on a fucking Thursday was packed.

[00:56:06] It was fucking awesome.

[00:56:08] Yeah.

[00:56:09] So you're double dipping.

[00:56:10] You're doing communist Louisa's communist show.

[00:56:12] Well, I'm a centrist, as everyone knows.

[00:56:15] So I try and connect both sides.

[00:56:18] And then your center of gravity is your entire body.

[00:56:21] It's my balls right at the center.

[00:56:23] Your whole body is the center of no.

[00:56:25] My balls are.

[00:56:26] Ooh, that's nice.

[00:56:27] You're sitting there blocking out the AC?

[00:56:29] Yeah.

[00:56:30] That's good for me.

[00:56:31] Ow, fuck.

[00:56:32] Why?

[00:56:33] Why?

[00:56:34] Mike keeps fucking ripping off parts of my beard.

[00:56:36] It keeps getting, because I wear it shorter now.

[00:56:39] Yeah.

[00:56:40] You have gone shorter.

[00:56:42] You're trimmed.

[00:56:43] And the, yeah, this is a summer look.

[00:56:45] It keeps getting ripped off.

[00:56:47] How does it feel to be off the long beard?

[00:56:49] I don't know.

[00:56:50] I mean, I shaved it a while ago.

[00:56:51] I know, but we've never discussed it.

[00:56:53] Literally no different.

[00:56:54] I mean, I guess it doesn't get caught in things anymore.

[00:56:56] It's also not winter.

[00:56:57] In the winter, it gets caught in your zipper, in your jacket.

[00:57:00] Or a man's zipper on his penis.

[00:57:02] Yeah, when you're bouncing your forehead off his belt buckle.

[00:57:06] You know what I'm saying?

[00:57:07] No, I don't know what I'm saying.

[00:57:09] You do know.

[00:57:10] You actually do know Nick.

[00:57:11] You guys know so intimately.

[00:57:12] I've never even, I can't even know.

[00:57:14] No, you really know.

[00:57:15] My idea of sucking a man's dick is basically like a stick figure drawing most.

[00:57:19] No, it is.

[00:57:20] With a line going through a circle.

[00:57:21] No, no, it's a beautiful, realist oil painting.

[00:57:23] No, it's alien to me.

[00:57:25] No, it's not.

[00:57:26] You're with a real rough customer.

[00:57:27] He's got a real big belt buckle.

[00:57:29] In fact, it's making my head hurt to even try to conceive of it that I'm just going to

[00:57:34] pleasantly think about having sex with a woman.

[00:57:36] No, you're not.

[00:57:37] A mentally disabled woman, perhaps.

[00:57:39] No.

[00:57:40] No, it's a man that you're thinking about.

[00:57:42] Those are the trophies in like rodeo competitions.

[00:57:45] A mentally disabled woman.

[00:57:47] A big belt buckle.

[00:57:48] Oh, I thought you were meant to.

[00:57:50] A woman to that you could breed.

[00:57:52] Yeah.

[00:57:53] So like make yourself some strong and then cattle.

[00:57:56] Well, he's beat the bowl, ladies and gentlemen.

[00:57:58] That's how they make that's how they make rodeo clowns.

[00:58:01] Yeah, right.

[00:58:02] The winner gets the book from your own.

[00:58:05] My father was a father was a bull rider and my momma was the prize.

[00:58:09] And there ain't much of an option for a guy like me other than to go into clowning.

[00:58:17] What man?

[00:58:18] Half cowboy, half retard.

[00:58:21] But that's just the way it is in Texas.

[00:58:25] I mean, you don't need to be in church every Sunday to know there's something wrong when

[00:58:29] gays can serve openly in the military.

[00:58:32] But you can't taunt a bull in an effort to have sex with a mentally retarded woman and

[00:58:37] produce a clown child.

[00:58:40] Oh, fuck.

[00:58:43] Good.

[00:58:45] Dude, I guess something's wrong with my fucking elbow.

[00:58:51] Yeah, I mean, that's been clear for a while.

[00:58:54] They lock up.

[00:58:55] You got tennis elbow.

[00:58:56] I think I got pussy elbow.

[00:58:58] It's what Federer has, dude.

[00:59:00] Really?

[00:59:01] You got it.

[00:59:02] You got it from being the goat.

[00:59:03] Yeah.

[00:59:04] I got it from eating some goat.

[00:59:05] Dude, I'm going to Greece.

[00:59:06] I can't wait to eat goat.

[00:59:07] Dude, it's going to be so cool.

[00:59:09] There's such weird animals, dude.

[00:59:11] Yeah, I don't fuck with those.

[00:59:12] I was looking at some at the zoo at the prospect parks do the PZO.

[00:59:17] I once that one's the P.P.

[00:59:19] That one's weird because it's like that one's definitely for children because they have

[00:59:24] like just some of the animals in the cages are clearly just cats.

[00:59:28] Like from a house?

[00:59:30] I mean, basically.

[00:59:31] Yeah.

[00:59:32] It's a cat with like spots instead of stripes.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:35] What are those called links?

[00:59:36] No, I mean, it's not it looks like a cat.

[00:59:38] It's not like doesn't look kind of like a cat.

[00:59:40] It's a fucking cat that just has like leopard color.

[00:59:44] That's fucking cool.

[00:59:45] Yeah.

[00:59:46] I would love a cat like that.

[00:59:47] I also have like ducks and pigeons and shit.

[00:59:50] Pigeons.

[00:59:51] Yeah, they have goats.

[00:59:52] What the fuck pigeons?

[00:59:54] Yeah.

[00:59:55] You could just see one on the fucking ground.

[00:59:56] Yeah, there was I was funny.

[00:59:58] I was there and there's like a bunch of geese in like some area and one of the workers

[01:00:04] came out and he's like, all right, you guys hungry?

[01:00:07] And then this goose sees the guy and just turns around and goes back and just fucking

[01:00:13] avoids him.

[01:00:14] It's funny to be like.

[01:00:15] It's funny to be like it like your coworkers hate you, but they're like ducks.

[01:00:21] Yeah.

[01:00:22] Yeah.

[01:00:23] You're so annoying.

[01:00:24] You go it like fucking translates to species.

[01:00:26] Yeah.

[01:00:27] What a loser.

[01:00:28] That is that goose said it's finger on the pulse and guess who that guy was finger on

[01:00:32] the Pulse nightclub famously an FBI op famously the liberal media repainting that as a hate

[01:00:37] crime when really it wasn't.

[01:00:39] Is that so?

[01:00:40] Yeah, I only recently learned that.

[01:00:42] Did you know that?

[01:00:43] No, I didn't know that.

[01:00:44] I thought that was a hate crime for sure.

[01:00:46] It was like a fucking like three weeks ago.

[01:00:47] I found out that.

[01:00:48] Yeah, apparently the FBI killed.

[01:00:52] I thought that you got we went to another nine o'clock to shoot a place up, but it was

[01:00:57] like closed or something or he couldn't get in.

[01:01:00] I don't know, but it's yeah, it wasn't.

[01:01:02] It wasn't like specific.

[01:01:03] Was his name Omar or something?

[01:01:05] His name was Adam Fried.

[01:01:06] No, I thought he was gay or some shit.

[01:01:08] I think he was.

[01:01:09] He was like go get blackout at the gay club and then and to take it out.

[01:01:13] He took it out on them for turning him gay.

[01:01:16] Yeah, for Kylie.

[01:01:18] Yeah, it's funny.

[01:01:19] It's shit like that.

[01:01:20] It's shit like that that makes you like you think about the Steven Patek thing and people

[01:01:25] like of course it was like a not people, but you know, people like me.

[01:01:28] Yeah.

[01:01:29] Or like of course it was like a CIA thing or like some kind of.

[01:01:32] That one is very fucked up, but it might just be that that's not really the fucking exception

[01:01:38] that most of them are just kind of like some guy doing a thing and then after the fact they

[01:01:43] get to like attach it to.

[01:01:46] So you think singular extremist motivation that may have been held by the person?

[01:01:51] Yeah, I guess I guess living in a country where mass shootings are everyone just sort

[01:01:56] of accepts them is really good cover to do executions whenever you want.

[01:02:00] Well, I'm just saying that most because it's like, you know, people are stupid and they

[01:02:04] got a process like, oh, there's a mass shooting.

[01:02:06] They do it because of Islam that they do it because they're misogynist.

[01:02:09] They do it because they're homophobic.

[01:02:11] Right.

[01:02:12] Are they racist or whatever?

[01:02:14] Right.

[01:02:15] It could be that most of them are just, I mean, I have no idea who gives a shit anyways.

[01:02:20] They're doing it for attention.

[01:02:22] That's right.

[01:02:23] I ran out of zoo stories and I haven't seen enough movies.

[01:02:27] I'm going to the zoo this week.

[01:02:28] No, you aren't.

[01:02:29] Yes, I am.

[01:02:30] You're fucking copying pieces.

[01:02:31] No, I'm not.

[01:02:32] I'm going to call them.

[01:02:33] I'm leaving New York.

[01:02:34] I'm not going to a new.

[01:02:35] I'm going to call them up now and I'm going to tell them because I have a membership.

[01:02:38] Yeah.

[01:02:39] I'm going to tell them not the letters.

[01:02:40] I'm not going to a New York zoo.

[01:02:41] You go to the SD zoo.

[01:02:42] I'm going to the San Diego zoo.

[01:02:44] That's the suck dicking.

[01:02:46] No, that's not true.

[01:02:47] One of the best zoos.

[01:02:48] Is it a good zoo?

[01:02:50] Apparently.

[01:02:51] Are you a zoo guy?

[01:02:52] I think it is.

[01:02:53] Yeah, that's that was the zoo that I went to.

[01:02:55] Did you dig ever right?

[01:02:56] Get hard when you have to shit.

[01:02:58] Dude, I have to shit so bad.

[01:03:00] But you're a dick.

[01:03:01] It's very funny.

[01:03:02] Imagine you're like small dick.

[01:03:03] My dick is just regular size.

[01:03:05] Just like a little like little robot.

[01:03:07] Yeah.

[01:03:08] It's hitting hard.

[01:03:09] It's like sticking up because you have to shit.

[01:03:11] Because you're just heard there's a red, brink, clicky light on the end.

[01:03:14] I will say it is a smaller, more condensed direction when you have to shit.

[01:03:20] Well, you're a more painful.

[01:03:21] It's because you're asking the the turd law.

[01:03:24] No, it's not.

[01:03:25] That's not why you're getting that.

[01:03:27] That's not why.

[01:03:28] That might be on the same.

[01:03:29] No, no, no, no, no.

[01:03:31] That's not why.

[01:03:32] Everyone knows that about gay guys.

[01:03:35] I didn't even say it happens to me.

[01:03:37] I asked if it happened.

[01:03:38] You have turd law.

[01:03:39] Did I ever say it happened to me?

[01:03:41] Or did I say did I ask you what happens to you?

[01:03:43] I didn't say yes.

[01:03:45] Well, I'm just saying I did.

[01:03:46] But you said that you were a little beat.

[01:03:48] This is hard right now.

[01:03:49] No, I didn't.

[01:03:50] I didn't say my dick was hard.

[01:03:52] Imagine how bad it is.

[01:03:53] You say does your dick ever get hard?

[01:03:55] Imagine how bad that turd must feel is that he's like in stops ass and he's making stop

[01:04:01] hard and he can see stops dick from the distance.

[01:04:04] And he's like I'm making stops like the penis is hard for me.

[01:04:09] And then he comes out and the penis is like oh, you're just a turd.

[01:04:12] I thought you were a penis.

[01:04:13] Yeah, you're just going to always abridge me.

[01:04:17] That's not what happens every time.

[01:04:19] Your poor turds.

[01:04:21] That turd really wanted to make you happy.

[01:04:22] All he wants to do is get married.

[01:04:24] That doesn't even happen to me.

[01:04:26] I just asked if it happened to you.

[01:04:28] So I don't even understand why I'm being attacked right now.

[01:04:31] So leading the grinder app and flushing down the toilet.

[01:04:34] I'm just trying to make conversations.

[01:04:36] Do you see this shit this week?

[01:04:37] The Catholic priest.

[01:04:38] Dude, that is what happened.

[01:04:40] So some like fucking I don't even know what blog it was, but they like bought all of grinders

[01:04:45] like location data.

[01:04:47] And then like it's like it's supposed to be anonymized right because that makes our

[01:04:51] money selling people's personal fucking data.

[01:04:54] But it's like oh, it's anonymous or whatever.

[01:04:56] Then they then you just look up the address of somebody and then see if like the phones

[01:05:01] been there and then you have an idea of who lives at that house.

[01:05:03] Oh wow.

[01:05:04] And then they tracked this like Catholic priest.

[01:05:07] They found his official and then he was like docked and exposed in the media as being

[01:05:12] on grinder and going to gay clubs because like a private company bought this information

[01:05:18] for the purpose of harassing people.

[01:05:21] Grinder sold the information.

[01:05:22] Is it denying that that's what happened?

[01:05:24] They said like oh no, it's technically impossible to do that.

[01:05:26] It's like well, it happens.

[01:05:28] It just happened.

[01:05:29] Yeah.

[01:05:30] It's like fucking hilarious and fucked up.

[01:05:32] And also he's like head of like a like United States like well that's I mean you'd rather

[01:05:38] he be gay than fuck kids.

[01:05:41] You know, that's the same thing.

[01:05:44] No, I'm the guy that says that kind of stuff.

[01:05:48] I'm sorry.

[01:05:49] I shouldn't say what you say is like repeating Steve Harvey jokes.

[01:05:53] Yeah.

[01:05:54] Stupid little right.

[01:05:57] Yeah.

[01:05:58] That's a good impression of yourself.

[01:06:00] Top five.

[01:06:01] Yeah.

[01:06:02] Sir.

[01:06:03] Yeah.

[01:06:04] I got I hate that.

[01:06:05] I hate that.

[01:06:06] I'm answer.

[01:06:07] Yeah.

[01:06:08] It's like when you.

[01:06:09] That's too real.

[01:06:10] It's like when you run.

[01:06:12] That's too real.

[01:06:13] You do that too well.

[01:06:14] When you do the like you really.

[01:06:16] You're on your face multiple times.

[01:06:18] That's like you ran the Adam Friedlin filter over your voice like three or four times to

[01:06:23] get that sound like that.

[01:06:25] You know, that's what I'm saying though.

[01:06:26] If you run the filter, the answers thing is going to haunt me for a while because it

[01:06:29] made Nick horny.

[01:06:30] No, I know I'm thinking about the turds in your ass again.

[01:06:34] That doesn't make me horny.

[01:06:36] No, I asked a question to drive conversation.

[01:06:40] I don't get horny off my turds.

[01:06:42] You admit that.

[01:06:43] I never admitted.

[01:06:46] I'm trying to give the show a little juice that by asking provocative questions.

[01:06:52] Okay.

[01:06:53] Wow.

[01:06:54] You really went there.

[01:06:55] I'm trying to spark dialogue.

[01:06:58] Yeah, that's true.

[01:06:59] And I'm trying to investigate the human condition.

[01:07:03] And now I have to go shit and you can see my cock is soft.

[01:07:07] My dick.

[01:07:08] Am I hard?

[01:07:09] No, you look pretty hard.

[01:07:10] It's not hard.

[01:07:11] That's a small ass dick.

[01:07:12] That's hard.

[01:07:13] No, my dick doesn't get it.

[01:07:15] This is not my heart dick.

[01:07:17] I have a soft.

[01:07:18] It looks small because it's soft.

[01:07:21] It looks really hard.

[01:07:22] My dick.

[01:07:23] Your whole midsection, your dick looks like the nose on the robot emoji.

[01:07:28] This is not a hard dick.

[01:07:31] I have to shit and my dick is soft.

[01:07:33] My dick does get kind of like plump and hangs low when I have to piss in the summer.

[01:07:39] Sure.

[01:07:40] Because it's filled with something.

[01:07:42] I do have to shit though for real.

[01:07:44] Alright, dude.

[01:07:45] We've done like six and a half hours.

[01:07:47] Alright, yeah, I guess that's fine.