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Bonus 258 - paper tigers

Cum Town | Premium | 10/03/2021

[00:00:00] this fucking thing all this is now we're gonna see if Adam was fucked up the setting of the board shit dude
[00:00:09] what if you did you're going back and you're doing a whole hour by yourself well we're at the point now we're any back at least
[00:00:16] that you know we were work horses first year of the show we do an episode sometimes the episode would get lost
[00:00:23] and be like fuck cuz it usually was pretty good yeah and then we'd have to do another one and the replacement one would be pretty good in its own right
[00:00:32] I can you imagine now if like we lost even a bad episode I'm not sure how much is not to it no episode this week I would just say no yeah
[00:00:42] yeah I could still be here we'd be like well let's just redo real fast back sorry guys I'm not holding I'm barely holding the microphone
[00:00:50] do you remember the I'm gonna chill over here not from the gate we should get you like a like one of those harmonica holders
[00:00:58] village old yeah yeah Darth Vader I won't let look Darth Vader's last scene kind of look mm-hmm yeah I want that one of those I want to put a
[00:01:07] BLT in it yeah I'd love that for you BLT is such a bullshit sandwich I disagree it's missing an ingredient I can see what you're saying there that it's
[00:01:17] of all LT go fuck your son LT is just sandwich the well that's not that's pretty standard yeah let me get a bread fucking you know
[00:01:27] play this shit listen I'm not a huge BLT guy every once in a while it scratches the itch but I'm with you you throw a little fucking burger in there yeah so egg in there it's a depression era fucking not if you put a lot of bacon right how much bacon do you have a nice amount
[00:01:43] a really nice amount yeah you have to have really a lot of been and you really get a thick cut bacon you know it's a really good British key really good really good
[00:01:53] Mayo because what a celebration of great ingredients potato bread okay bacon banana peanut butter and jelly the Elvis the Elvis yeah he would just do banana and peanut butter I think that's all I think and he would also take a
[00:02:07] whole loaf of bread and slice it down the middle and just shove bananas I love that remember that place in the L.C. that did the Luther
[00:02:16] Vandros burger the dance was my father's cock it was a yeah it was a man it's just a bunch of mayonnaise and summer sausage you squeeze out
[00:02:25] you know it is yeah let me get the dance from my father the bun it was a bacon you know bacon G burger but the bun was a doughnut it was one of those gimmick items at a restaurant where everyone goes to have it once nice and it was revolting it was one of the most
[00:02:45] what restaurant was that some fucking loser place in the on 14th Street you know where I had him couldn't wait to go there me yeah I saw it on the blog the koopa sick remember that place yeah it's 24
[00:02:58] yeah Obama ruined Obama did literally Obama ruined it fucking pieces she showed up and then they're like well we're not 24 hours anymore and now the food sucks and it's more expensive it's more expensive one time
[00:03:10] me and Jamil went and had a lot of devil decks that devil decks and wings basically give you a animal crackers mm-hmm I love that shit yeah dude they had great devil decks they had great wings yeah I had great wings their bowl their breakfast bowl was amazing I remember I remember that breakfast yeah yeah that shit was a man it had my but I loved going to wonderland getting trashed and going to
[00:03:33] the cool falling asleep in your car going to going to the good to eat that breakfast bowl it had like this is what life's about I remember your 50 50 like there was a coin flip chance whether you slept in your car that air of your life every single night just saying Nick sleep on my cow I have an apartment I was leaving the car and then you're like yeah I'm not going to drive don't worry I'm not going to drive yeah that's you it was 50 50
[00:04:03] is he is he in the car not and then within that 50% is you going to try and drive drunk to Baltimore is going to sleep is it going to I didn't I didn't I mean to be like completely fair most of the time I did not actually drive drunk and then the like one time I did and well I mean multiple times I did that that was that was because it was gotten to a point because I guess I drove drunk in Austin mm-hmm it's a drunk driving is such a
[00:04:32] weird thing because I feel like it's a thing a lot of people to do and you know you shouldn't do it of course I got to stop but then some people I've been doing some people yeah some people some people never do it and they treat it like they treated like it's this fucking like this horrific thing that you could do to drive drunk like they get really heated over the idea of somebody driving I can't get where they're coming from I get where they're coming from but it's also too it's like it's such a thing
[00:05:02] that because it's negligence it's not like I'm going to drive drunk and run over a child you know I mean yeah planning that and it's also it's not like nobody nobody a very few people sober make the decision to drive drunk what happens is you get trashed and then you're making all kinds of bad decisions only one of them happens to be driving
[00:05:24] that's a really good honestly and this is going to sound pretty stupid but it's very easy to drive drunk in New York City yeah because you never go over like 20 miles an hour it's all surface
[00:05:36] street a lot of stops yeah a lot of stops mm-hmm I was finding harder to drive high because when you're high you want to get the nice rhythm high school everywhere yeah I drove oh when I smoked weed when I smoked weed it was I was a much worse driver I would just blow through red lights constantly I'd be like dude what is red it's just all perception yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah in high school everyone's like yeah it's like a fucking video game dude it's like Mario Kart it's so hard it's so much worse I don't know that it's worse but
[00:06:06] honestly I have not I've probably driven drunk I don't know three or four times my whole life I drove on mushrooms pretty recently and respect I got a
[00:06:16] word speeding camera ticket most of that was in high school by the way yeah driving drunk I've been bringing it back dude yeah well it's I remember when I started comedy I feel like my because they were all adults they all drove drunk yeah it's kind of like drunk constantly and then but yeah
[00:06:35] no I mean it well I guess the analogy I was gonna use is like the driven meat people is a teenager and I would have to be in your early teens like cuz you know you discover beating off when you're like sure and you in your mind this is this is this secret world you want to talk about boys clubs all the bullshit women say about like well boys are socialized to be funny in school and that's why they get into comedy that's shut up but
[00:06:59] sure beating off little little fat boys are out beating off had no choice beating off that is something that we're socialized to do well I feel like that's something because you know girls aren't like like 12 year old girls aren't like because they need like dildos and the machines like all the other machine they'd be choking themselves literally a 12 year boy needs nothing more than like a placard for like a breast cancer self exam yeah dude and then that would be huge and let's go you're like a
[00:07:29] you're like you're like saw star showing up in deadwood ready to set up business with a couple of shovels you're like I'm out here to beat off in this new frontier of life yep and uh so you say little girls should talk to each other about flick in their pussies yeah yeah I mean whatever they want to give a fuzzy in fact I don't want to give them anything in fact I want to keep more stuff for the boys yeah they should all have to go into political science this thing about people like off women ran the country it's like
[00:07:59] ladam I love if I was staying home jacking off and you had to pay me to do it yeah let's look at the script on the on the company time we're now we got only fans but it's not gay it's guys getting together like they used to back when they were children
[00:08:15] jacking off on cam but December but it's also twitch twitch and only fans merge yeah and your it's a halo turns to playing halo and jacking off and you get paid a hundred thousand dollars a month
[00:08:29] you get paid ninety one thousand dollars a month that's a reasonable amount and that's what you should get for being an artist or whatever yep but the uh anyways
[00:08:40] you know I was I was saying so did you ever meet anybody when you were like twelve thirteen because in your mind everyone's you know you're like jacket like over school beat off the pornography did you
[00:08:53] ever meet anybody that's like beating off sure you know what I mean religious kids yeah and then you're like your
[00:08:59] just your mind is blown that they can even be don't be don't and that's how I feel about drunk driving where it's like
[00:09:04] I understand if you don't do it, but then the people that are like how dare how dare you right? You know, it's like well
[00:09:10] I don't
[00:09:12] You know it's as natural as masturbating at 13 it is drunk driving. Yeah, I think that's a good idea
[00:09:21] Well, I guess just mostly the
[00:09:23] Like you know the like moral objection. I think more. It's like it's an it's an outdated thing
[00:09:29] It's like yeah, it's kind of like dropping. Oh, no. No, no driving drove. Yeah, it's like
[00:09:36] It's like how you let slurs
[00:09:38] Well, you're also you also say that is somebody that lives in New York City where there's like really no reason that's a great point
[00:09:43] Yeah, I could uber wherever the fuck I want if I lived even Baltimore isn't that bad. Yeah
[00:09:48] I live in the fucking now even now with like uber. It's like yeah fucking like Austin like, you know 15 years ago
[00:09:54] That's true. You couldn't fucking walk anywhere. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could you walk downtown
[00:09:59] But if you're drinking in the cool spots like I did yeah up in fucking round rock, right?
[00:10:04] I go find I go find the real cool bars round rock Texas bar and grill
[00:10:09] You imagine having a place yeah called Texas barn grill in Texas. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Yeah, I
[00:10:18] Want to make I want to make New York City. I'm gonna make the
[00:10:22] Baltimore barn grill. Yeah, or the Greek town barn grill. That'd be pretty cool Greek town grill a little flavor of home
[00:10:29] Yep, so like you can never leave home, you know, you can be back you can be back in your childhood
[00:10:34] I was just in Texas in San Antonio. It is dog shit. Yeah real dog shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah that video you post it was
[00:10:45] Yeah, I mean people were claiming I was in a bad part of town, but let's be honest San Antonio
[00:10:50] Is my word as little bit probably one of the worst cities in America shout out. Everybody came like respect
[00:10:57] It's kind of like it's place was horrible
[00:10:59] those like this there's like iconic states that have like a town that just like there's not belong there
[00:11:05] It's like so California's got Sacramento sure Texas says San Antonio, New York has Albany
[00:11:11] Mmm, those are kind of the California's got a lot of that
[00:11:14] California's got a lot we're not gonna talk about California
[00:11:17] Which is not a west coast podcast
[00:11:21] One of friends you got one thing and then you want to talk about Santa Monica and surfing
[00:11:26] Well, if say it's a beach boys and all of your yeah, you want to make this you want to make this in it and Adam
[00:11:32] Friedland West Coast show Brian will free and Brian Wilson was too much of a genius to not go crazy
[00:11:40] I'm so I can have the technology to make
[00:11:44] You know we should talk about him because this what comes out Sunday, so we got a we got six days Super Bowl Sunday
[00:11:50] I
[00:11:52] Didn't want to pay attention to it, but now I've been inundated with what happened with that girl
[00:11:58] They got killed a lot refuse. Yeah, what's it's girlfriend news. Yeah, it's girlfriend news my girlfriend's like a girl
[00:12:05] I'm ill so there's this don't you care. Yeah, there's this like blonde girl or whatever the fucking oh, yeah
[00:12:11] She got her and her boyfriend her and her fucking like you know like banana bread bag boyfriend like we're doing this
[00:12:19] Van life thing and they were social media influencers and I guess he killed her in the mountains
[00:12:25] Right, and then he went home to Florida and now there's this manhunt forum and per like
[00:12:30] The FBI has no idea where this guy is damn. They think he might be in a swamp and they can't find
[00:12:39] Honestly, it's cool that they can't find them because it's like and also it's like why are you trying if this guy is
[00:12:44] Like just stealing fucking alligator eggs. Yeah, and living off like algae and and and what it's a answer
[00:12:52] Aaron feathers totally then then there's so many bugs. What do you think? What do you think that's your worst life than jail?
[00:12:59] Yeah, exactly. Yeah
[00:13:01] So I don't know why they're looking for him, but it was what made the story funny is that this girl
[00:13:06] Like you know it be yeah became it was girlfriend news
[00:13:09] There's very much like fucking like white women being like that literally posting like Gabby is all of us
[00:13:15] We've all been in this situation. It's like you've all been murdered
[00:13:21] We all you mean you've all had a boyfriend you argued and then there was the there was the woke response
[00:13:27] Which is like black women are murdered every 10 minutes joy joy and reed literally
[00:13:33] With the Patrisse O'Neill bit the fucking missing white woman, which is a great bit
[00:13:38] I know funny. She's shouting and then the tree
[00:13:41] Yeah, and then all of these white women like now who have like they're like one of the you know
[00:13:46] I've like announced themselves as like we are Gabby have to be like oh, but right that's always the best when white ladies
[00:13:53] They think when they get so they're fine like yes
[00:13:56] It's our turn and then the second it always flips joy and read coming in hot with a Patrisse
[00:14:04] They're all like
[00:14:08] And he got Chris Cuomo who is a white lady in his own ride by being a Italian from Queens
[00:14:14] Yeah, but they're being a sexy Italian. Yeah, yeah with howdy lips. Well, he's on he's like he's like
[00:14:20] Gabby potato why are we talking about the indigenous women that have gone missing?
[00:14:26] It's like who the fuck is didn't he do are you're the news? Yeah?
[00:14:30] Also, didn't he just get didn't he have some kind of sexual harassment?
[00:14:34] No, he's both of them and he's like, you know, he's like here's a question. Why aren't we talking about the black women that I've raped?
[00:14:44] My associates in the media
[00:14:46] Devoted zero time
[00:14:49] 2017 I I kidnapped and raped an entire group of mohawk teenagers
[00:14:56] Not a peep from them
[00:15:00] We got Don Lamont and coming on in a second and we're gonna we're gonna do we're gonna do the you made his name even
[00:15:06] Gay I think that's what his name is Don Lamont Don Lamont
[00:15:10] I think it's Don Lemon I always thought it was Don Lemon
[00:15:13] Apparently it's Don Lamont Don Lamont the Gary gets the Gary's name. So yeah, that's what that's how Tucker calls
[00:15:20] I don't free long
[00:15:22] Anyway
[00:15:26] Free long
[00:15:27] Day he comes out and then the two of them
[00:15:30] Share an ice cube Allah lady in the tramp. Yeah, I was thinking Allah
[00:15:36] Train spotting
[00:15:38] They go ask to ask with it that's so that's requiem for a dream. Sorry. I
[00:15:44] Haven't seen either
[00:15:47] She almost got me interested because she told me that the dog is hunting him down right now
[00:15:52] Yeah, there's a video of him like just knocking on his parents door and then all these fucking rooms
[00:15:58] Like southern retard's being like you in trouble now boy the dog is on your scent. Okay. I feel bad
[00:16:05] It's really a gay culture that we live in what's that? I don't know dog the bounty hunter doing this performative video outside of the
[00:16:13] The parents dog I think you said a dog dog. I thought you meant like the dog
[00:16:19] His dog like Gabby's dog was out for justice. I mean I truly hope it turns out
[00:16:26] Somehow this guy didn't do it. I don't I can't imagine any way that it was it's a hundred percent him
[00:16:31] But yeah, it would be funny if he's actually if this is the fugitive and he's like trying to find a real killer
[00:16:39] Yeah, that would be cool. Well, he came back with a van
[00:16:41] There's this video of I guess like the police pulling because there was a domestic dispute call like somebody I called in and said
[00:16:48] They saw him slapping her around. Oh damn
[00:16:50] So they got body cam footage of like, you know, they send like I guess like nine different types of cop
[00:16:55] Yeah, yeah, it was like a sheriff a park ranger. There's a camp counselor
[00:17:00] Yeah, you know, I'd like one of them
[00:17:03] Yeah, sheriff possible or whatever and then they're all like they talked to him and then because he
[00:17:08] He doesn't he's got like scratches all over his face
[00:17:11] And she says that she hit him and he never says that he had her like they're like well, we can't do you know?
[00:17:17] Yeah, she's like she's admitted to assault so they tell him they're like would you like to press charges?
[00:17:23] What they're like we don't have discretion. They're like we have to arrest her
[00:17:26] Well, unless we like separate you two so they put him in a hotel and then like to curd a jail
[00:17:32] I think they just offered her like a like a like a
[00:17:35] Citation and then she was like able to keep the van and then I don't know the time frame, but
[00:17:40] Did I would love if we just turn this into a true crime thing?
[00:17:45] I just hope the MIDI keyboard up to this thing
[00:17:48] And then some shit happened and then I guess she got maybe she fucked somebody else
[00:18:01] And his cock was small
[00:18:04] But not only was I involved he was a fan
[00:18:07] And his dick was
[00:18:17] Yeah, I didn't know you know I didn't know all that yeah, it's been really gripping the con so they came back came back
[00:18:23] He drove her van. I've been watching boss. I haven't been paying attention to the news. I'm almost done
[00:18:29] I didn't want to pay because I didn't give I didn't give a shit
[00:18:32] I honestly have never in my life paid attention to any one of these like literally the missing white lady stories, yeah
[00:18:38] but
[00:18:40] Seeing people take that out with the joy and read the Patrisse angle brought me it's awesome
[00:18:44] No, that's gonna do it and that bit will live for eternity for these issues right here
[00:18:49] Yes, it's so good anytime people on social media broadly you have to be like
[00:18:56] You got me now. I want to know what's going on here as a simpleton myself
[00:19:01] I think you're happy anytime white women step in it. I think is what you're really enjoying kind of any group of people
[00:19:08] That's the fucking drama yesterday with that
[00:19:12] There's like some tick-tock of like an Indian nightclub and some black dude like
[00:19:17] Quotes we did and was like y'all know how bad this place be smelling
[00:19:22] Something like that. Oh shit. I didn't see that all the quote tweets are like somehow Indian people found it
[00:19:28] And it's just like how dare you you
[00:19:38] Shut your dark a bow black
[00:19:45] Most heinous responses
[00:19:51] Out of control
[00:19:53] Can let off some real real good race like a 90 pound brahman named preasy. Yeah, it's a bitch that writes for fucking Ted Lasso
[00:20:04] Just going at like just fucking hard
[00:20:10] And it's all of the responses
[00:20:12] It's really funny damn dude, you know, it looks like they struck a nerve. Oh
[00:20:23] My god that is fucking hilarious. Yeah, let me show you let me show you this during the just
[00:20:29] Racism on racism. Yeah, there's this bit. This one with this bitch's name is pongo
[00:20:34] That's awesome day 101 down there. Yeah, pongas are awesome name. Yeah, I would love to fuck a bitch named pongo
[00:20:42] How dare you speak you here? I'll read it. I'll read it out loud
[00:20:48] How dare you speak you jungle you swarthy smelly
[00:20:53] How dare you open your fat room encrusted menthol smoking?
[00:20:56] My god you speak of the affairs of a beacon of civilization the Republic of India. It's a video of a nightclub
[00:21:05] Yeah
[00:21:07] You are monkey Indian army will kill you
[00:21:13] Over a guy being like kid smells bad
[00:21:16] Right goddamn. Yeah, that is fucking wild pongo pongo went the fuck off good stuff
[00:21:26] Nice one pong
[00:21:29] Yeah, this guy good lord this guy who has no wait this sorry this tweet violated the Twitter rules
[00:21:36] So that was gone, but it's a picture. It's a picture of Derek Shavine with his knee on George Floyd
[00:21:41] Oh my gosh, Derek Shavine is our hero
[00:21:49] From India we stand with our area
[00:21:55] There's it was there some going on where like Indians wanted like Israel to be their friend they hate Palestine
[00:22:01] Yeah, why because they hate Muslim
[00:22:07] Right right right right Pakistan and yeah every tweet like
[00:22:10] Like you know that there's 17,000 quote tweets from Indians on this I know it's smell crazy in there
[00:22:26] So fucking that's what how does that something like that even get to
[00:22:31] Indian National
[00:22:33] Dude look at this to this is so funny. Yeah, that's pretty good
[00:22:36] India like the whole damn country and then it's a picture of a
[00:22:41] Sword being unsheased and the N word is written
[00:22:46] See the n. I
[00:22:49] Damn, it's not it's almost as if they've been sitting on it. Yeah
[00:22:54] They were all ready for that well, it's not I mean definitely growing up
[00:22:58] It's not like Indians weren't racist to black people especially in Baltimore where they like own
[00:23:04] Anytime it's like that's the that's the like yeah, that's the old that's that didn't of itself as a stereotype like Koreans and Indians that own
[00:23:11] Corner stores being extra racist. Yeah, that's it having massive shot. That's an old-school fucking ready to go. Yeah
[00:23:18] That ain't nothing you but it's funny to see it in in this this remix for a new era
[00:23:24] Yeah, exactly. They don't even know black people
[00:23:26] Yeah, they just have a convenience store and yeah, they just have dark green. Yeah, who they yeah
[00:23:32] They're just racist towards each other. Yeah
[00:23:34] With their little system well it is a country that literally has a cast
[00:23:39] That's what I just said bro. Yeah, well they yeah
[00:23:42] They're little system and the ones that come here are the ones that were at the absolute Oh really and then they come over here
[00:23:48] And they're like you're using your name privately
[00:23:57] They're literally getting their asses washed
[00:24:01] Street by a dark guy. Yeah
[00:24:04] Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah damn
[00:24:07] I definitely did have there was one of the most annoying kids. I've ever met in my life was a kid who said he was like
[00:24:13] Was Brahma the good one
[00:24:15] Brahman's the top yeah, he was a fucking piece of dog shit
[00:24:19] Mm-hmm, and he just completely he completely like became like a fucking like Howard County Maryland, bro. I
[00:24:27] Know it's oh my god
[00:24:32] Jesus fucking Christ I won't read it but they're invoking the slave ships in that tweet
[00:24:39] well even just like even the the the
[00:24:41] Like sort of the circumstantial or inconsequential words in these tweets are
[00:24:47] Racist in their own. I mean, it's a level of racism. I've never even it's really it's uncut and pure
[00:24:53] It's it's making me very almost it's like perfect. It's like you know when
[00:24:59] It's it's almost like when you know it and she keeps sucking where it's like it. It's almost it's like too intense
[00:25:06] Yeah, yeah, you have to look away
[00:25:08] I know it smelled like shit and piss when you forest slave
[00:25:11] Monk's I mean, it's a slave and then the n-word. We're getting transported for five doubloons in the 1500s
[00:25:19] But it's like I don't what the fuck are doubloons. Yeah, they're like pirate money
[00:25:23] It's a tight it sounds like racist money balloons like you thought once you drop the n-word
[00:25:28] It's like you're done like you already racism wise you maxed out
[00:25:31] You kind of maxed out and then this guy finds a way to just take it a little even like further by coming up
[00:25:37] With the type of money you use to buy black people. I also like that he censored
[00:25:42] He put an exclamation. Well, that's a yeah. That's so you don't get suspended. Oh really? Yeah
[00:25:46] You're that works. I mean, it's pretty obvious what he's doing there. Yeah, I mean the amount of
[00:25:52] Tweezing reported a day. I'm sorry. It's like they honestly it's like when they when these tweets get reported
[00:25:57] It's going to this guy's fucking cousin in the call center next door
[00:26:00] He's like I don't do what does exclamation appointment looks good to me
[00:26:06] I will call my cousin Vikram who does not have job
[00:26:10] Because his family owns Taj Mahal what what he meant by this
[00:26:16] Jesus Christ that is some truly fucking wild racism. You're reading these tweets right now like
[00:26:23] F. Murray Abraham and all my days
[00:26:25] Yeah, it's perfect no mistakes no mistakes
[00:26:33] These are first drops
[00:26:40] God damn
[00:26:43] Yeah, dude. I have not been keeping up. I want watching Bosch and I watched the town yesterday
[00:26:48] Oh nice boss pretty good movie. Oh dude. I went to the sopranos premiere. How what really? Yeah, how was it?
[00:26:55] It the movie don't fucking spoil anything. I
[00:26:58] I think not as good as sopranos. Yeah, that's all I'll say. Let's thank you
[00:27:02] I honestly I didn't care and I didn't think it'd be good
[00:27:05] But the next day I started getting pissed off things like that only exist to disappoint people
[00:27:09] How did you get in? Did you suck on it was the best thing ever made?
[00:27:12] It's like we're nearing the we're nearing the end of them being able to get away with remaking
[00:27:17] Yeah, the next day I got pissed off but candy man might be I won't say I at the after
[00:27:23] Sorry, I didn't see it, but I can't imagine it's
[00:27:27] You know
[00:27:29] From the trailer it looks like this is bullshit never seen it never seen either candy man
[00:27:34] Oh the original candy man is great. I haven't seen and it's not like they remade candy man. It's like I guess the
[00:27:41] Sequel or spiritual sequel
[00:27:43] sequel at the after party Adam. Oh, I got to meet us little Stevie
[00:27:49] Wow, I shook his hand. I said I'm a big fan of your music and acting work
[00:27:54] What do you say? He said thank you so much. I heard you shake your pants on really
[00:28:01] Little Stevie van Santa was a big fan of the show. I was stoked. Yeah, I was how was honestly star struck
[00:28:07] How of course how was he looking how about Steve Steven great Steven van life?
[00:28:11] And he's like I could kill you on the block
[00:28:20] And live vlogger and yeah, there was one post I saw on Twitter
[00:28:24] There was very funny because if it's some dumb bitch posting a picture of
[00:28:27] The inside of the van like their bedroom set up in the van from like Instagram and then a picture of the van from like
[00:28:34] I don't know when the police like ingested it for like evidence purposes
[00:28:40] Yep, and so in the second picture it like looks kind of messy and they're like, you know like social media isn't real life
[00:28:48] and it's like what because it's
[00:28:51] Massey
[00:28:53] A little bit of clutter this bitch was murder. Yeah, that's the lesson to take away
[00:29:04] It's so also if you're that guy you're gonna commit murder. You've been posting every day
[00:29:10] Yeah, you don't think people are gonna realize you committed murder. Yeah, I don't think you're on the grid
[00:29:15] I don't I really I don't think you did and who are your other suspects? Well, I
[00:29:20] Don't know. I mean Don was there a black guy
[00:29:27] I was saying what if they find what do they think there's just some black eye that was jogging at the National Park in Tim's
[00:29:33] And they were the police the police to a press conference and they're like maybe and then the public is like what?
[00:29:40] Like sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. We're just all right. We're just mib only. We're just all right. I guess full fucking okay
[00:29:47] We'll be quiet again. All right. We're trying to get you involved. Yeah, we just thought
[00:29:51] Maybe you maybe you're looking at this guy
[00:29:56] Maybe we could just ask him. Yeah, bring him in bring it. Let's just ask bring him in for quick
[00:30:00] I'll probably tell us if you did it. Yeah, yeah, cuz they haven't even they didn't charge him with murder. They charge him with like using
[00:30:08] a debit card like it's not even clear whether he used her debit card or something after she was dead he used a debit card to
[00:30:17] Take money out, but I don't you know, I don't malicious robbery of a lady
[00:30:22] You killed and then somebody also killed like two lesbians at that same park. Yeah, but I don't know how big
[00:30:28] So I don't know I first of all I don't even know what Utah is. Oh, it wasn't Utah. Maybe you're Wyoming or something
[00:30:35] I don't
[00:30:36] To probably it's probably a big ass park. It's probably half the fucking state
[00:30:40] Well, it's parks are big as fuck. They're like they got what Sundance and then yep. Yeah, so like city
[00:30:47] Yeah, that's it the episode of insomnia consult like city and that's that's really all anybody knows
[00:30:53] The more about you thought I never saw that episode. What does he do? He goes out drinking
[00:31:01] But you know, he has like different activities like he went to the sauna that one time
[00:31:05] Yeah, what does it even do with Salt Lake City that late drink for or 3% beer?
[00:31:12] You got to drink a lot of those cocksuckers. You think David tell was soaking
[00:31:17] What do you mean? You guys ever soaked?
[00:31:19] We're like you what you go on a bathtub. No, no, no, leave your dick. This is how Mormons fuck. Yeah, you
[00:31:26] Apparently they've convinced themselves that if as long as you're not humping
[00:31:30] It's not sex so you can put your cock in a pussy
[00:31:34] Oh, and then you have your friends jump on the bed
[00:31:38] So that somebody else is doing move like it the fucking humping for you. Yeah, that's probably
[00:31:45] Pretty cool
[00:31:46] Would you do that?
[00:31:48] Catholics do that. They'll fuck each other in the ass and I'll be like fucking in the ass. I sort of that's an honest
[00:31:53] That's not how God works. He's not like I didn't think of that. Yeah, I know but at least that one is like
[00:31:59] I don't know your cocks in the pussy
[00:32:02] Like at least fucking in the ass you have plausible deniability like it's a different hole
[00:32:08] Yeah, that's that's a ridiculous work around it's a ridiculous and I gotta feel bad that you gotta feel bad for those like
[00:32:15] Do girls? We're just getting their asses plowed. Oh, it's totally like right off rip
[00:32:22] By like some fucking horny ass 17 year old who's just pounding their ass probably was not enough loop
[00:32:29] Yeah, there's no love making it. Yeah, he's probably not eating ass. This is Jack hammering
[00:32:35] She's just plowing some horny fucking 17 year old
[00:32:40] La Crosse player with a nice hard cock and he's just plowing this fucking girl's ass and she's like this is cool. I like this
[00:32:47] She's not busting even close. She haven't close to busting
[00:32:53] Getting your at getting your nutting your ass before you've gotten your pussy eating that's so fucked up
[00:32:59] Dude, it's gotta make sex really appealing
[00:33:03] Yeah, get your ass cream pie
[00:33:08] Before you didn't like held
[00:33:11] There should be a Nicholas Sparks book
[00:33:13] The cream pie
[00:33:17] And it's just some bitch in a sundress bent over in a field been over a fucking tree swing
[00:33:25] Yeah
[00:33:32] One of them gets cancer
[00:33:34] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, the fuck maybe it's rectal came in hunt for Brian laundry in Florida's wetland
[00:33:43] Scaled back after Gabby Petito's funeral. That's the thing. They already cremated this girl
[00:33:49] There goes the evidence. Yeah, I mean exactly
[00:33:52] You know did it because it was ruled a homicide, but not definitively shit wait, so there's no body anymore
[00:33:59] I'm going I'm going this guy's you crime now. No, he's not innocent. I don't care
[00:34:03] I'm you know look you got a shoot from the head. What's his name Brian what Brian laundry laundry?
[00:34:09] I know what a funny what a white trash name
[00:34:12] My name's my name's Eric groceries
[00:34:17] I'm drawing a little bit of a man
[00:34:20] Your aspirations your son's aspirations is to live in a van. Yeah, you're bald to 20 you're completely bald 23 year old son
[00:34:30] Not even like 23. Yeah, not even hanging on look like shit
[00:34:35] They're like you're bringing shame to the grocery family
[00:34:39] It's like I'm gonna go live in long on the that's the other thing to the girls from Long Island
[00:34:43] So it's some Florida hit killing some loud Italian bitch from Long Island. Oh
[00:34:49] Societal I feel like this is one of those things where you know how people get mad at stuff
[00:34:53] You don't know what they get mad at but definitely people seem to be real sensitive about this thing
[00:34:58] Yeah, we're really dipping our toe over the line because I yeah, just because like a woman was killed by her
[00:35:04] By her of partner. Well, we don't you know, we gotta let the we gotta let the scales of
[00:35:12] Could have been the vaccine
[00:35:14] I don't think you're so fucking right
[00:35:29] Well, yeah, we were they boat who was vaccinated. Yeah, they don't there's a she was vaccinated
[00:35:36] suspicious
[00:35:37] Paucity of commentary on their vaccination status
[00:35:48] Kyrie Irving by the way, there's a there's a Moderna conspiracy that Moderna is specifically anti-black. Oh
[00:35:55] Oh, let me see what let me find that it's actually really good. Oh, you're you're going off mic to ask me about PMS
[00:36:03] Man, I just I had him ask me for a mite all right now. No, I asked for an ad
[00:36:08] I've never understood why why we always need so many things mid episode. Yeah, we were just hanging out for a
[00:36:15] Yeah, it's not even it's not even it's not even gonna be working for them waiting till we're almost done
[00:36:21] Are we yeah, we this episode has been dog shit unfunny and as soon as we get into
[00:36:26] As soon as we get into something it's like hold on before you get into the vaccine
[00:36:34] So I did I should have said anything medicine
[00:36:45] Oh
[00:36:47] Kyrie Irving the COVID-19 vaccine and the plan of Satan. Yeah, that's pretty good
[00:36:54] I might go look for this guy you should do in the swamp
[00:37:00] You know it would be you know it would be a fucking funny move or not a funny move a genius move if you wanted to kill your wife
[00:37:05] Yeah, I'm listening you you and your wife go down to Florida and you say we're looking for Brian Laundry in the swamp
[00:37:12] Mm-hmm and you go out in the swamp with your wife
[00:37:14] You make it a whole public thing and then you kill your wife in the swamp and you're like I haven't seen Rebecca Ryan Laundry did it
[00:37:20] I think she got eaten by alligators
[00:37:22] Yeah, people are like what are the odds this guy goes down there of course and kills is recently vaccinated white
[00:37:31] The Aligars can smell the fire alligators know you're vacuum
[00:37:35] Oh fuck yeah, that is a good plan. Yeah, it's like why don't why not? Oh well these M. Oh, no, I'm RNA vaccines or you know
[00:37:47] Their miracles well what maybe they should have made an mRNA vaccine for domestic abuse. That's so fucking true
[00:37:55] Maybe we could have experimented with that I agree with that you know
[00:37:59] What do you looking for yeah, I just want to apologize just don't come back and make it about you again just quiet about me
[00:38:10] I'm quietly
[00:38:12] Quietly transition. No, I'm sorry quietly transitioning
[00:38:19] Okay, here we go Mo app what a dumb name
[00:38:22] I really started liking Instagram post from conspiracy theorists who claims that secret societies are implanting vaccines in a plot to connect black people
[00:38:31] To a master computer for a plan of Satan this Moderna microchip
[00:38:38] Moderna has a microchip. Let's go. This is some Eddie Griffin type shit dude. I love this. I love it too. You know what?
[00:38:44] He's right I'm gonna be so bold is to say
[00:38:50] Gabby Petito was killed by the vaccines
[00:38:53] That now connected her you a black super computer
[00:39:04] Black people to a master computer
[00:39:08] What is a master computer you know say yeah, it's at Langley
[00:39:12] I'm trying to pack it all the black people
[00:39:16] Yeah, dude, I'm the but this guy now that the Patrice angles got me into this now
[00:39:21] I'm just like reading about it all day long like some fucking Nancy Grace
[00:39:24] You know stay at home. Yeah, she's still doing her thing Nancy. Yeah, she's still on TV
[00:39:30] Where is Gabby Petito? You know for years. I thought her and Paula Dean were the same person kind of that makes total
[00:39:37] So no idea they were different people. I was like it's weird this bitch
[00:39:39] Didn't you know she like makes dessert hornily. Yep, and then also she's like why are you seeing Anthony?
[00:39:48] Is that not the lady who does like
[00:39:52] Like financial advice no you're thinking of the Sue's Orman
[00:39:58] Okay, Janet Yellen so I always knew that the fat bitch was a different person
[00:40:03] But I just orman is a lesbian I just I I saw I thought Sue's orman and Nancy Grace were the same person
[00:40:08] Oh, really well Nancy and Paula Dean are both southern loud type, but I think you know it's funny
[00:40:14] This this Brian this Brian the Gabby thing you look at all their Instagram posts
[00:40:18] They don't like holding hands with each other and I go into the national park or whatever and my honest my like all jokes aside
[00:40:25] My honest the first knee jerk reaction that comes into the forefront of my mind is thank God. I've never been in love
[00:40:39] I've never felt this damn dude that she was just trying to get her fucking cloud up because I'll never I'll never do that
[00:40:47] Like I'll never murder well, I'm never gonna murder one but there's also there's never gonna be a like pictures of me and
[00:40:52] And you know something like going to a national park and doing the fucking you know the follow me
[00:40:58] Yeah, whatever getting matching tattoos with somebody or listening to them or responding right right right so I've never like
[00:41:07] I can't imagine being annoyed with a woman to the point of ever murdering them right because you're too
[00:41:11] You will they're crying you're too busy looking at Indian. Yeah the end word on I'm looking at Indians
[00:41:16] Yeah, they're like you don't fucking like a woman's scratching my face and stuff
[00:41:20] They're like are you even listening to me? I'm like no, I'm remembering episodes of the PJs
[00:41:27] I'm thinking about I'm thinking about and now there's a show and I'm thinking about that episode where
[00:41:33] Vanna White he misses Vanna White's top
[00:41:37] Flying off remember that bit. Oh, yeah, where was like it's a very pre-YouTube bit
[00:41:42] Yeah, yeah, you only get one chance right shot where the rats on his head might be the pilot the rats on his head
[00:41:49] And he's about to hit it with a frying pan he goes no that will be stupid. Yeah, and then he points a gun at this
[00:41:54] Then woman's just screaming and crying
[00:42:24] I'm a fucking fat
[00:42:31] My bones and my penis is wrong my thinking my gun can be penis all small I'm trying to tell you about my rape
[00:42:42] You're not
[00:42:45] That's fucked up. No, I was doing the characters the girlfriend
[00:42:48] You're a tape we were thinking of like a common annoyance and I was I was thinking about the PJ
[00:42:56] Blue comedy. It's not a blue. It was just so fucking empathy for what women go through
[00:43:03] Well, we're talking about not being in love. Yeah, we're not talking about ignoring a woman who was raped
[00:43:08] Yeah, rape you get maybe a couple of seconds for me some dumb bitch, you know, you got a problem with it work
[00:43:14] Well, guess who's just remembering the pumpkin Hills own sonic adventure to
[00:43:23] I'm sorry
[00:43:26] Listen, I'm trying to relate because I love love. Okay. I'm trying to relate to see your first line
[00:43:33] No, I'm just trying to yeah, I am lying
[00:43:37] I'm always lying
[00:43:40] Second on the penis
[00:43:42] He is
[00:43:44] Just tasty. Oh, dude. I also watched the Marlon Wayans the US Marlon Wayans special
[00:43:51] Oh, unbelievable. It's so awesome, dude. It's filmed in Miami outdoors. Uh-huh
[00:43:58] He's straight up on bombing for like at his own spot 15 minutes up top
[00:44:04] The first bit is about how
[00:44:06] It's his his girlfriend or his daughter is going to prom. Mm-hmm. Well for no, I'm sorry
[00:44:12] The first bit is about
[00:44:14] what what beeps with Audi belly buttons be like okay?
[00:44:19] He does about 10 minutes on on on men and then women with Audi belly buttons and then also white people with Audi belly buttons
[00:44:27] okay, I'm interested and
[00:44:29] I'll give it away, but 99% of the people that stormed the capital the white people had Audi belly button makes sense
[00:44:37] That's the big clincher soft you hate spoilers and you really I did ruin that I did ruin that sport
[00:44:43] Is this a Tim Allen podcast? No, no, this is the newest Marlon Wayans special. Oh, it's really fucking good
[00:44:49] And then he has and they has a bit about prom night and how he doesn't want the boy coming coming to
[00:44:56] a
[00:44:58] Date his
[00:45:00] Girl his daughter he doesn't want him to be respectful. He wants him to act like a real beep
[00:45:05] And so he does he's like don't come up with me like oh pleasure to make your acquaintance mr. Wayne
[00:45:10] No, I got a boy talk to me like a real beep
[00:45:14] He wants even just for future reference button buttons, okay, if you want that top right the top one the top one
[00:45:19] Oh, nice. Okay, so let me just take a little hard R soft a
[00:45:27] Like a real
[00:45:28] Yeah, and then but it's a if you're an Indian guy and you're like I could not stun these
[00:45:33] Right, right, right and they roll it to if you want to talk about yeah
[00:45:40] It's got like
[00:45:43] The rumble strips
[00:45:45] I mean you're dragging somebody behind your pickup and go over a couple of speed bumps
[00:45:51] But yeah, it's really good because he's he wants the the guy who comes to fuck his daughter to disrespect him
[00:45:57] Yeah, he wants to get better. That's you better fuck me also and basically and then he's like that's that's pretty crazy
[00:46:04] And then he's like thank God. He's like psych. It's all good. My daughter's gay
[00:46:08] So I didn't have to worry nice and then he's like but what if my son was gay now that would be an
[00:46:13] I have to kill so he really takes it. He gets all the meat off that
[00:46:22] I would kill my son if he was gay jokes is at this point. It doesn't even drum up the controversy at once did it's just like
[00:46:29] They're just stealing their
[00:46:31] Yeah, it's like oh you're doing Tracy Morgan's bit dude. Yeah, but like they keep doing it. Yeah
[00:46:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like damn that like not even aware that Tracy Morgan a guy canceled for it
[00:46:45] And they're still and it's still funny. That's what I love about comedy
[00:46:49] Yeah, is that there's a person whose brain can produce a thought to be like, you know
[00:46:53] What's an interesting insight if my son was a homosexual like stab
[00:46:58] And then they say it on stage and you're like damn that
[00:47:02] That's fucking funny. Yeah
[00:47:04] Well, I will say Marlin took it to the next level. He doesn't want to kill a son
[00:47:08] But I saw God free one time on stage just doing an impression of Bill Cosby counting up the number of women that he raised
[00:47:23] Actually
[00:47:25] And God free those two that's awesome. You know what that's fucking hilarious. That's two
[00:47:38] You know
[00:47:40] I'm just like this is the funniest thing
[00:47:43] Just merge just destroy of course. Yeah, and you know he deserves it. He's one of the funniest fucking comics, dude
[00:47:49] He's really good. Yeah, and I never see cuz he's only at the seller and I'm never at the seller
[00:47:53] Right while never anywhere anymore. I don't even think he's at this. I don't even know where that guy is
[00:47:57] Yeah, I don't see it. I think he's just like got like a rich girlfriend. Yeah, well, he has the situation. I was saying before the show
[00:48:06] We don't why did it get so quiet because no one knows what the fuck you I was trying to be
[00:48:11] No, I'm trying to build what I was trying to build Nick up and say you should get a
[00:48:16] Finance bitch. Oh, you mean you were just like like when you were ignoring what I was saying just I was responding to what
[00:48:23] You were saying
[00:48:24] When you were just made like just doing the thing you do where you just you have some
[00:48:28] Some idea in your head that you think is good advice
[00:48:32] And it's unrelated to anything that's going on
[00:48:35] Well, I'll say Marlon just wanted his son
[00:48:38] He was okay with his son being a but he did want him progressive. He did want him to fuck the guy in the ass
[00:48:45] He didn't want to be the time. He wanted his Sunday the classic sopranos. Oh, exactly sucking the security guard stick
[00:48:52] Yeah, that is gay or we can all agree. I don't know
[00:48:57] I mean, you know, I don't know what's gay. How about John John Gay earth the musical
[00:49:03] Venus really good
[00:49:05] Body is one to land
[00:49:22] Yeah, that's good. Yeah, father's be good to your sons assholes something like that
[00:49:29] Mother's or father's be good to your daughter. I met I met others be good. You know, I met a gentleman at the dead show
[00:49:36] Who said oh or he he said can I take a picture for my friend who likes come town?
[00:49:42] And I said, oh, yeah, of course whatever and then he said I was like, oh you like the grateful dead
[00:49:47] He said I don't know any of their songs. I'm here because I want to suck John Mayer's cock
[00:49:55] Was John Mayer there getting his dick
[00:49:57] He gives you a dick like booth. He's in the grateful dead now. Yeah, is he yeah, he played he's Jerry now
[00:50:05] Pretty cool respect. Yeah, that's a good. It's a cool move. Yeah
[00:50:09] But I like that was a John Stamos in the Beach Boys
[00:50:12] Stop starting in the cocoa mode. They're grateful breath. Yes. I am nice. Yeah, it's all about Chabata
[00:50:19] Yeah, I had a big ass roll of Chabata every just at the start of every show. That's every song. Excuse me
[00:50:27] I would say she was up there in terms of breads really
[00:50:31] Chabata sourdough. I've been getting really into these
[00:50:35] hamburger buns that they sell at the deli pie me. They're really fucking good. They're like brioche buns. I make every sandwich brioche is overrated
[00:50:44] really to cakey I
[00:50:46] Don't know if they're brioche. I got it. I gotta get you one of these cocks. I need a little fucking crust
[00:50:51] No, it's got a nice crust on this. I need a little crust. I need it soft in the middle though. Very soft
[00:50:57] I might go get a little chocolate croissant after we like that idea finish work for the day
[00:51:08] We're about nine minutes and 50 seconds from being a fan of finish
[00:51:12] annoying to the audience, but it gets funnier and funny
[00:51:17] Every time I gotta say guys I've withstood a lot of controversies over our six years doing the show has been
[00:51:25] Whatever it's been five years in ten months. Whatever Jesus fucking Christ really I think we started in March, didn't we the calendar is whose county?
[00:51:34] whatever I
[00:51:35] gotta say people are
[00:51:37] Insensed by the fact by the fact that I didn't get stopped the sandwich actually good the the and that's good
[00:51:45] That's what you deserve the push back on that. I gotta say I'm usually pretty zen and stoic about
[00:51:52] pushback from from the audience. It's like Adams like that monk on the cover of
[00:51:57] The region's machine album, but instead of being on fire
[00:52:00] He's just says his little monk dress pulled up and everyone can see how small his dick is
[00:52:04] And he's sitting there meditating all of Vietnam laughs at him. Yeah
[00:52:10] That's a protest. He has a
[00:52:04] He's sitting there meditating all of Vietnam laughs at him. Yeah
[00:52:10] That's a protest. He has a
[00:52:12] Yeah, every's his laughing at the month with the littlest dick. Yeah, but he doesn't even see the laughter
[00:52:19] He's he's at such a piece. I will say the
[00:52:22] Never a video. There's never been one video one of those guys doing that and he just wasn't at he wasn't the black belt of meditating
[00:52:31] Right, just one guy. Oh fuck. Yeah, I'm not good enough. Yeah, the penis that is honestly
[00:52:39] Those guys fucking sick. Yeah, I could never do that shit a little discomfort. I'm crying
[00:52:45] Mm-hmm. Maybe that's
[00:52:47] Set ourselves on fire
[00:52:49] We'll just go to a monastery
[00:52:52] No shave our heads
[00:52:53] They don't have any pussy over there if you did the burn the self-burning thing would be like you're not like McDonald's pumps
[00:52:59] The fryer smell into the air. Yeah, it would smell delicious lines around the block
[00:53:04] It would smell delicious people would be like did they open a fucking shake shaft?
[00:53:12] Middle of Saigon
[00:53:16] What was I gonna say nothing how you how you how you I've been vindicated
[00:53:23] No, they'd has a force some self-reflection. I do really actually at the time. I was defiant
[00:53:28] I was really like
[00:53:31] You know, I don't think your capable of self-reflection
[00:53:34] I think what you're talking about right now. What you do is you're like. Oh, it's time to do some self-reflection
[00:53:39] You're like look at me self-reflecting. What a good guy
[00:53:43] I will say you know what I'm growing and maturing next point is he has a pointer because what you're saying Adam is
[00:53:50] only when other people scolded you and your
[00:53:54] your
[00:53:55] Perceived value has fallen due to your treacherous acts. Are you now admitting?
[00:54:01] What a mistake you made and how but how much you be on that beyond that I?
[00:54:06] I think that it felt worse to be so publicly a bad friend
[00:54:11] I've done a lot of other things publicly that shame not guilt. No, it wasn't shame. No, it wasn't shame
[00:54:18] No, I didn't I didn't want to let a friend if it were guilt
[00:54:21] You wouldn't do this this public performative thing where you you're demonstrating growth. I'm just trying to you know
[00:54:27] What you want to eat up time on the
[00:54:31] same
[00:54:39] There would not have been a single word of this you would have showed up today with a breakfast with a sandwich and
[00:54:45] I'm still I don't what's a man showing up thing
[00:54:47] It's nothing in his hand you show up you demand I make you a coffee and then you leave half way to get a vital
[00:54:54] I didn't demand you get it up
[00:54:56] You guys come in I ate too much Korean barbecue yesterday and my head was kind of hurting
[00:55:02] Yeah, didn't bring any home didn't bring any leftovers first friends. I finished
[00:55:07] I would have loved some morning. Gollby. I'd love to go with me while his girlfriend's friends are all enjoying
[00:55:13] They all have the fact that girl she hangs out with
[00:55:15] Wait, she has a fat Greek she has a fat Greek friend and then an autistic girl with huge
[00:55:23] Autistic bitch. She's not gay
[00:55:26] She's hot
[00:55:30] Who loves racism, you know what guys love racism. I think that's it. That's an unfair read on you
[00:55:37] Love the science behind I was talking about Adam's girlfriend's friend. I wasn't talking about you
[00:55:42] Oh, you're talking and who wants to suck my dick also I could read between the lines
[00:55:49] Well, that would be that that wouldn't be me that would be that girl. So that's fine
[00:55:53] That just means that I want to fuck the fat Greek friend. No, but or I want to get my dick sucked by her
[00:56:01] You know what's fine? I'm staying with it all go on a double date else there triple day
[00:56:06] I don't fuck yeah Alvin in the chipmunks. Yeah style where all their bitches looked like them the three-year-old versions of us
[00:56:14] You know what between Epps, I'm gonna go out and get you guys a little shot out. Why I want your fuck
[00:56:19] What are you gonna get first of all you didn't even surprise you didn't even offer me a surprise
[00:56:24] You all stop a sandwich and then refuse to get it. I didn't offer him a sandwich. I offered him a coffee. Oh
[00:56:31] Oh
[00:56:34] Want to relitigate
[00:56:37] Self-reflection has been overwritten I
[00:56:45] Look a surprise Adam. Do you really want to make a surprise because that's you're doubling down
[00:56:50] I have an idea the problem is you blow it with food half the time
[00:56:55] Remember when like fancy cake decorators were on top of the world. Yeah, like two years era
[00:57:00] Yeah, where everything was all fucking fun. Yeah, now that's not nobody gives a fuck about that anymore. No cake is done
[00:57:08] You know
[00:57:09] That's what's kind of nice about this show is that it's got staying power so fucking true that
[00:57:15] You know Robbie remember Robbie from Weim City. He used to deliver cakes for charm city for dust
[00:57:20] Oh, they had a TV show and they had to like he had the fucking no, there's two different ones. There's two shows
[00:57:25] There's a ball charm city case, right? That was Duff Goldman. Okay, and there was cake boss
[00:57:30] It was like long Italian. Oh, I thought cake boss was the name of the show. No
[00:57:35] Charms city cake charm city cakes was in Remington, right? Yes, sir. Yeah, see I don't he's also he Duff
[00:57:42] UMBC alum University of Melbourne County just barriers not quit
[00:57:46] Fuck I'm Chesapeake Bay Retrievers Retrievers. Sorry. Would you say carriers?
[00:57:52] I knew as a dog. I'm sorry
[00:57:56] Why I don't know
[00:57:58] Maybe seen one Chesapeake Bay Retriever in my life. It's not really a popular dog
[00:58:03] But it's I think it's the technically the dog of Maryland. It is technically the dog of Maryland
[00:58:08] So never seen that's why we were the retrievers other other like the other state dogs
[00:58:12] You see pretty often like what are the smoke like a cat who look her?
[00:58:18] Bloodhound you see bloodhound sure bloodhouse classic cat whoa is her pretty cat whoa?
[00:58:25] Yeah, they're like weird coats, right? So Louisiana dog. Yeah, they're pretty cool dogs
[00:58:31] I thought my dog was part cat who love for a while because she has that weird coat
[00:58:37] Catahula leopard dog. Oh, yeah, you keep dogs. Yeah, yeah
[00:58:41] Yeah, yeah, Chesapeake Bay Retrievers just a golden retriever, but it's brown. Yeah
[00:58:47] Shitty Brown it's like sort of out the bay sort of what you call like an Indian version of a I
[00:58:53] Wouldn't say the only retriever. I wouldn't say gold retrievers natural your Chinese people after everything Nick shared
[00:58:59] I feel like they deserve that at the very least
[00:59:03] Mm-hmm. I don't think I first of all that's you're saying the Chesapeake Bay Retrievers a bad dog
[00:59:08] By being racist about it. Oh, maybe I am there. I don't think they're good dogs. I don't see they have a good temperament
[00:59:16] Listen, man. It's the fucking mascot of my alma mater that I haven't technically graduated from now
[00:59:21] Here's what Maryland's got that is pretty good black-eyed Susan's great flower. It's good very good flower
[00:59:28] Is it the monarch butterfly? I don't think that's right. What's the state insect?
[00:59:33] Is some kind of butterfly is a butterfly, but I'm trying to remember
[00:59:36] It's not the monarch cuz they're everywhere and I think you know what our you know what our state sport is
[00:59:43] Foot loss
[00:59:44] Jousting really really it's a little trick question. You would think it would be lacrosse you think it'd be lacrosse
[00:59:49] But it's jousting and I believe our dinosaurs the brontosaurus. Oh
[00:59:55] I forget that every state gets a dinosaur
[00:59:59] Maryland a fossil to I think
[01:00:01] Checker the Baltimore checker spot butterfly love it. That's beautiful. That's a key butterfly
[01:00:08] It's a class baby when you close your eyes. You might be thinking of this butterfly. Yeah
[01:00:12] Well, that's because you think of a monarch and the monarch looks kind of like that's the famous one
[01:00:17] I think you think of the Baltimore checker spot
[01:00:20] That's that's that's a classic
[01:00:23] My you think of the Baltimore checker spot, okay
[01:00:26] What's the state fish?
[01:00:33] Jeez I don't actually remember that the best the best part about this is not only is this boring garbage to kill the rest of the
[01:00:40] episode we've done this before
[01:00:43] The striped bass I don't remember that at all you know anytime I say bass
[01:00:48] I feel like I'm on the precipice of saying base and like this is it's I could feel it really feels like I'm flying by the
[01:00:54] Sea to my pants and I'm seconds away from
[01:00:57] Face from looking like a dumbass and I feel like everyone experiences that I think I've never said base
[01:01:03] I think naturally you're gonna say bass when you read when I read it
[01:01:08] a Chilean sea bass you know what fucks me up all the time is um
[01:01:13] like
[01:01:15] Buoy, Maryland because of David Bowie and buoy knives
[01:01:18] But say once you have all three in your head
[01:01:21] It's like becomes this juggling act, and I can't remember how to say any right David Bowie
[01:01:26] David Bo if I just go for one at a time. I'm fine, right? But then if you remember they're different you're like is it David Bowie
[01:01:33] Is it a Bowie knife?
[01:01:36] It's a booie knife booie Marilyn Bowie Marley Bowie is a boo or bowie? Yeah, you got it. I think it's
[01:01:44] Booie
[01:01:46] It's booie. It's named after David Bowie
[01:01:48] It's a horrible booie Marilyn. What the hell is there ghosts ghosts is over there?
[01:01:54] It's fucking scary. Yeah, they're like fucking
[01:01:59] Is that who lives in that I think so I think
[01:02:04] So