Cum Town | Premium | 10/24/2021
[00:00:00] Welcome folks the premium episode of come town today
[00:00:11] 20 fucking something and we're going through Scott Adams
[00:00:17] We're going through Scott Adams Twitter feed. Oh, yeah and reading every one of his tweets
[00:00:22] All right, dude, I was you know, you know, I was a Dilbert fan from way back
[00:00:28] I honestly was and now you're a fan of Spielberg. I used to love bill bird Spielberg
[00:00:34] Excuse me Spielberg. I spill my giz. I love your lips. That's why messy bill bird
[00:00:40] I think I got her that triangle head bitch. She's a good big he sucks
[00:00:46] It's like Spielberg. Can I see you in my office? I'm busy jacking off boss
[00:00:51] Uh Spielberg you're you're you're being really messy in the office wait the triangle was the boss though, wasn't he?
[00:01:00] She had a triangle she was a lane basically. Yeah, they basically stole a lane from Seinfeld. Yeah except they called a triangle bitch
[00:01:07] That was her name on Dilbert and Dilbert. He's like a triangle bitch. Do you know what's wrong with the copy machine?
[00:01:13] I think maybe your pussy I put my pussy juice on it boss. I think some of your pussy. You sorry got in the wires
[00:01:22] I used to work in an office and pussy juice guy in the wires. What the fuck is this? Hey triangle bitch you get your pussy juice in the wires
[00:01:31] Next week on Spielberg. I used to watch the show too. There's a Dilbert show. Yeah, I remember that
[00:01:37] That was the golden era of animated sitcoms
[00:01:41] The sit like the I don't know because the Simpsons have been around for a while
[00:01:45] But it was like 98 99 there was family guy mission Hill home movies the Dilbert show
[00:01:59] And I don't know and I by the way, I don't like your fucking tone when you say that what are you talking about dude?
[00:02:04] I watched Rick and Morty, bro. Yeah, but you can't you're exactly I can't hate on that exactly guess what?
[00:02:11] I'm hating no Rick and Morty's good Rick and Morty's a great show
[00:02:16] When did it start that people were made fun of it? It's just the things that have culture. It's the fans
[00:02:22] It's kind of like this show. It's like this is a great really good show. This is a bad show, but really cool
[00:02:30] This is the rare both bad show and dick and squirty. Yeah, yes, sir
[00:02:35] And dick's I'm a fuck. I'm a penis boy. I got I'm a penis. I'm penis. I'm penis
[00:02:57] I was watching Rick and Morty so much better show
[00:03:17] He makes the noise or something. I don't know. I've actually only seen two episodes of that show
[00:03:22] I've seen most of them the first season was pretty funny the what I saw. Yeah, no, it's good
[00:03:27] And it's got a lot of heart too, but now it's a bad really in the words of famous
[00:03:36] Soci Latino intellectual. It's now a bad thing for bad people
[00:03:44] That sucks. No, I have to stop it used to be it used to be here at the full
[00:03:48] I think I can paraphrasing now, but who gives a fuck is that it's it was it was a secret private thing
[00:03:56] Me and my friends knew about me now. It's a bad thing for bad people
[00:04:01] Yeah, I hate what you say special harm and got commercial. Yeah. Yeah, imagine cruising
[00:04:07] You like your mid 30s still being like oh the offspring is an underground anymore
[00:04:13] Yeah, I used to love going to quicksilver packs on now now. It's for posers now posers
[00:04:23] Dude, that'd be so I was the only person I was like one of the few people
[00:04:32] McRib at McDonald's and then other people found out about it now. It's for fascist
[00:04:37] It used to be it used to be for cool secret communists like me that are smarter than everybody else
[00:04:43] And that's why we like Rick and Morty a cartoon for stone to 13 year olds
[00:04:48] You know what I you know what I fuck with in terms of Dan Harmon is then I don't know how I know this
[00:04:54] I think I just found it on the internet some somewhere, but he said that sometimes he can if he's thinking of a redhead with big tits
[00:05:01] He can just bust without even jacking off
[00:05:03] Like you bust hands free. Yeah, he said that he's on record is saying that Wow
[00:05:08] I think I might be should be completely making this up, but I'm pretty sure that guy Dan Harmon
[00:05:16] He said somewhere because he has a podcast too
[00:05:19] I don't know how I found this on the area years ago
[00:05:21] And I was like and I saw that I was like that's a man after my own heart because though a redhead with big
[00:05:29] Redheads with big tits really do have do have a certain hold a certain sway over my genitalia
[00:05:35] If you're out you don't have any cell phone service. You're in the woods. No internet
[00:05:40] I think that's what that's what you would use my sixth grade biology teacher was a redhead with fake tits
[00:05:46] And boy did I jack off to her like Scott Adam Scott Adams quote tweeting Kamala Harris
[00:05:52] And he says why does Harris always look like she's barely holding back an orgasm
[00:05:57] Okay, oh wow pause first of all Scott. That's a that is a straw man
[00:06:09] What his whole thing is that he's like logical or something
[00:06:12] I don't know. I think he's just a fucking weird guy
[00:06:15] Did the computer pants completely off right to tweet like that and his dick is maybe it's going it goes out the here
[00:06:22] Nick has he's doing like a basic about three inches out. No, that's I think it's a normal
[00:06:27] That's like two and a hat that's a that's below three. I guess I can't see you
[00:06:31] I think it's about six or seven. Yeah, you thumb was in closer than I thought. Yeah, that's pretty small
[00:06:38] I think it's a hot white imagine like a battle
[00:06:42] Fires went off about like Kamala like that and then he from his he does this motion from his the tip of his tongue
[00:06:48] Right across the top. Yeah, just bust. Oh, yeah, like you put a page. Yeah
[00:07:06] Tech Ali comes shooting and that that degree of sexualization and fantasy about Scott Adams is basically the same level of this as this tweet
[00:07:17] Scott Adams always look like he has his pants down and I'm looking
[00:07:24] Yeah, I'm blowing into his ass like a balloon. I never wonder why this guy got that face
[00:07:29] Why does he look like I've got two fingers in his ass and two balls in my mouth and
[00:07:36] I'm I'm tonguing his his dick hole like I'm trying to get the last more so a fun dip out of the packet
[00:07:42] Why does he always look like that why he looked like that he really do be looking like all the time
[00:07:49] He always looks like that. He always looks like I'm begging him to fuck my ass on all fours
[00:07:54] And he's looking at me and I'm like, um, why are you looking like that?
[00:07:59] That's funny because there's Scott Adams, and then there's Scott comma Adams boyfriend. Who's a different guy?
[00:08:06] Yeah, there's two Scott Adams Scott Adams and Scott Adams boy
[00:08:14] Proper punctuation people are always mixing that up to yeah, yeah, and he puts an exclamation point in your ass too
[00:08:23] Sometimes a dick is a lot like an exclamation point because you got the balls or the circle at the bottom
[00:08:31] Yeah, it's mine's more like a Spanish. Yeah, but you guys are kind of this Spanish. Yeah
[00:08:37] Question mark the upside down. Yeah, the balls are on the top and it's curved on the bottom and it's bent
[00:08:45] So when you fuck a woman you're putting the balls in their inner pussy. Yeah, I go
[00:09:03] Expecting Adam no, I've got a bandic Adam. What would you say your cock?
[00:09:09] And my balls are above my penis. I got a bit dig in my balls are on top
[00:09:24] Okay, I'll wait for you over for you pull it up. Yeah, you know in the meantime Adam what
[00:09:29] I see I see I see I see yes I get it now
[00:09:58] I stuff my balls inside your home. Oh, I got a bandic
[00:10:08] That was in the Jersey Turnpike and I want to take a piss in that nickelback song rock star was
[00:10:16] Playing and it's been stuck in my head for like a fucking month now
[00:10:19] What's that how does it go where we are?
[00:10:24] A lot of Nickelback's lyrics I've noticed this now
[00:10:27] After listening to them give it to them straight huge fan for years is he just says things that like fit together
[00:10:33] That's awesome. They don't make any sense
[00:10:35] Yeah, but they're close it's close, but it's like there's like a dissonance to it there it like yeah
[00:10:41] Just have said he's just fucking making shit up dude. Yeah, she's got a fucking yeah through the song
[00:10:46] It's like it's not like you just hit sorry. I was waiting on a different story
[00:10:50] It's not like you suck my dick. Yeah, I'd really like to get my dick son
[00:11:11] I've been watching non-stop Beetlejuice videos. Oh, yeah a little return of black guy or yeah
[00:11:17] Yeah, it's the bed that I had a it'd be nice that a Beetlejuice on the show
[00:11:21] But Adam would Adam would try to be funny and just be mean to be I wouldn't be mean to be no way
[00:11:26] It would be mean to be no, that's not how you do it. I would say I would say not how you do
[00:11:31] I would say nothing because I would be intimidated
[00:11:34] Interviewing him you got to do it like Howard where you tell beat that he's like a big star and that he's she's that's you give
[00:11:40] Him you're nice. You would get you would do it wrong because you think you're Howard
[00:11:43] I would love to be exactly you would say stuff mean you would try to walk the line the way
[00:11:49] How are you see the one I don't like the mean Howard stuff?
[00:11:51] I like the word the straight in or whatever you feel you feel like you're
[00:11:56] You're like you have the same nose. I don't like the mean stuff and then he would be on here and you'd be like
[00:12:03] Just find a like any of the baba booey. I don't like the you did say some mean shit to BAM
[00:12:10] I think yeah, you were incredibly you were probably the meanest one
[00:12:12] I wasn't being mean I asked him if you wanted to know you were like a good wife
[00:12:18] He was talking about his wife's pussy. I was like then I kind of stood up for her a little bit
[00:12:23] I don't think this is so funny how you remember things. Yeah, I don't believe you stood up for her
[00:12:27] He was like yeah, she's got like three pieces. I remember you said something and her face was like she fell
[00:12:33] Right I was like I was like your wife it might have played well
[00:12:36] I think I just remember her wife face was like she was dejected. I was not
[00:12:40] Disters but anyways you the reason we can't have beetle juice on the shows because you would be mean
[00:12:45] Where's he lives? No, I was also he lives in Atlanta. No, I have no idea. No, I think sure he's in the video
[00:12:52] They found out that like if you just hold something to his head and pretend you're on the phone he thinks it's a phone
[00:12:57] Like beetle just go we got common electric you want to talk to you once I suck your day. They hold like a whisk up to
[00:13:06] I will talk to the video I probably could I probably could the one where Obama calls in to talk to him
[00:13:34] You're listening to how I don't like any of the the the whack pack any of the funny parts
[00:13:40] I like the serious exam serious interviews
[00:13:44] Denny serious people Hillary Clinton, that's the stuff that I'm I'm into probably
[00:14:06] Yeah, he just responds every it's so fun watching him processing because it doesn't really he sort of he responds in the way like a
[00:14:20] Sounds like he's having a conversation, but it's like talking to like a really big bow
[00:14:25] Dude, I've never I did not really listen to how it started the most exposure
[00:14:29] I had to how we start was beating off to the E
[00:14:31] Yeah version where you can see that blurred out cuz that shit was on network television
[00:14:35] I remember that come on at 2 a.m. I'd be like I finally they're throwing scraps. Yeah
[00:14:44] That was huge cuz my grandma would live in Greece half of the year and with us half the year
[00:14:49] Uh-huh and when it was when that bitch was gone dude summertime she was she was in Greece and her room had the cable
[00:14:55] That was my I was my jack-off then that's respect given her is only one room that had cable
[00:15:00] How does cable work no sad label box there was two boxes one was my grandma's one was in the living room
[00:15:06] Yeah, and you looked your grandma's box. No, I did not I would jack off to my head idea
[00:15:14] If any of you want to write this out and make a million dollars. It's about a guy
[00:15:19] Okay, who you know, we know like in middle school his father killed himself, okay, but he's in college now
[00:15:25] He's been dating his college girlfriend
[00:15:27] Uh-huh the whole time they're in college. It's the fall semester the senior year the college girlfriend
[00:15:32] She's been depressed all summer and then in the first semester. She kills herself
[00:15:36] Devastates him he has to go home and he's you know with his mom and he's like sort of you know
[00:15:42] He's like having a early 20s existential crisis
[00:15:46] realizes that you know all attraction is just based on like your inversion or negation or
[00:15:51] An affirmation of your trauma or whatever that there is no real attraction or wow, and then he starts fucking his mom
[00:15:59] Okay, okay. It's taboo. It's called the hole at home
[00:16:12] Clumps, how about this no no how about this John Travolta's the young man, and he plays the mom from hairspray. Yeah, okay, and he fucks
[00:16:21] We go I'm just in a different direction then half of it
[00:16:24] We just added we de age Travolta like like the Irish and we added in the middle of varsity blues
[00:16:30] So that it fits so the time works, okay? Yeah, cuz we need to fill up a little time. Yeah, so it's
[00:16:39] Then we cut to the Ethan Hawke fucking himself
[00:16:44] I think de age Travolta fucking and Jim is a woman as a
[00:16:48] In a fat yeah, and well we do forget a part of it because moving six and a half hours
[00:16:54] From varsity blues to de age Travolta in the Italian man by Martin
[00:17:02] The Italy man, okay, and he's you know, it's the same movie, okay
[00:17:07] This time he's in a homosexual relationship with action Jackson
[00:17:13] Movie review kids lights camera jack the fat guy they put in the movie everyone's upset about bowdoodle no the fact
[00:17:22] The fat like the guy in a fat. Yeah, luscious luscious Jackson the guy that works the morgue. Oh, oh action
[00:17:29] Bronz action bronze. Yeah. Yeah, luscious brush
[00:17:35] Jackson Jackson. Yeah, that's my drag name is luscious bronson and it's Charles bronson, but
[00:17:43] like in like a like a like a like a like a
[00:17:46] Leather mini skirt, but it's exactly looks exactly like Charles bronson
[00:17:51] But like a Rachel haircut with like tips and the pleather mini skirt balls are hanging out fish net sleeves very
[00:17:58] 1999 type of bitch I gotta say I like oh with my naked eye. I saw the falling rain coming down
[00:18:09] Coming down that's awesome. Thank you. Thanks. I just realized with my
[00:18:19] But Travolta is maybe one of the only actors that never leaned into his like Italian this in my kind of a
[00:18:28] What the what are the dumbest biggest I got a brand movie
[00:18:31] What what are you talking about? Oh my god? Oh, yeah, I'll never mind. I forgot about Saturday night
[00:18:42] All right bad take I said it wasn't gonna be that good
[00:18:52] Getting horny well, I guess it's that Italian so really ride with him
[00:19:05] I need what you mean is he didn't do any mafia yeah, but then I just realized he did God II like shot God II it was too late
[00:19:27] Lady sounds hot I would fuck yeah classic. I like this pull up the bit what's your name?
[00:19:32] I like when it's Jackson bitches so you can see what our name is Luscious Jackson
[00:19:37] The band is that's actually my dick's name also
[00:19:43] Luscious Jackson yeah, Jill Conif so it's my dick's name English pussy
[00:19:48] Honey yeah, I have some kind of from you bitch
[00:19:53] My having a bit of kind of my sweet bitch slut interesting kind of plays bass sings lead vocals
[00:20:02] You know, what does this bitch look like?
[00:20:06] Well, they're old now you got to go back to the heyday even then
[00:20:11] 1990 I feel like these are some attainable type of bitches right here. I'll put it that way no
[00:20:26] These are there, but you know good for them. They sound hot. Yeah, they could sing to my cock while they suck it off
[00:20:36] 5,000 pound woman with one arm dude in a flipper and you're like she's cute dude
[00:20:47] Yeah, you know, we're listen. I'm a man of interesting sexual desires. Yeah, I
[00:20:51] Can know you know I dip in and out. Yeah, you know what? I think what you're she has like Twitter lib face
[00:21:00] And that's my huh? Yeah, she's not she's fine. I guess she's got like, you know
[00:21:05] She was a loving. Yeah, resist in the buy-in. She definitely does
[00:21:11] She could even she could even flirt with but that's that's you got a different Jill kind of here. Let me see
[00:21:17] It's Mrs. Elementary school teachers won a couple of awards
[00:21:23] And this is now I'm just like directing people to some Twitter
[00:21:30] Yeah, I don't know that there's a lot of it's hard
[00:21:35] What about Vivian Trimble and maybe she's in the band her little picture looks hotter
[00:21:40] Yeah, we're really well now we have people also search for Debbie Harry now. They're someone I would fuck
[00:21:53] Banana Ramma women that's why I always picture when I think of us Jackson banana Ramma
[00:21:58] Yeah, I always confuse banana ramma with ace of base. That's also a thing that you can confuse
[00:22:04] What was banana Ramma's big hit cruel summer? That's right. That feels like it should be an ace of base on yeah
[00:22:10] Yeah, there's an overlap there for sure, but I will fuck banana Ramma. Mm-hmm. I got a banana
[00:22:16] I mean you can't this is just all of Bushwick
[00:22:20] That is true. That's just everything I have a couple girls. Yeah, right that actually
[00:22:27] Okay, I'm a fuck you I got a banana they can fucking ram up. Yeah, I got banana you can cram up into your ass up
[00:22:47] I came back from Phoenix with a little fucking head cold
[00:22:49] Mmm, make sure you get Adam sick and not me you got why had did you get Corona tested? I did what they said
[00:22:59] Damn, I just I first I thought I had Corona every time, but now I think just traveling constantly. Yeah
[00:23:06] I mean you're probably worn down. Do you probably have a cold always all the time?
[00:23:11] That's the one thing I've learned about through this pandemic is that you're constantly sick always mm-hmm and
[00:23:17] It's whether or not you're fucking weak right the weakness and the week the travel air travel is weak in me
[00:23:24] Well, yeah, I mean you're not sleeping you're in fucking just like recycled air all the yeah, you know my fucking
[00:23:30] It's hard to be a comedian. Yeah, it's hard. It is it's one of the most difficult professions
[00:23:36] You're being a business and then you have to eat fucking King Kong nachos and fried people
[00:23:40] You have to eat bullshit. Yeah, they have to stay up till 4 a.m. Getting fucked up getting you know
[00:23:44] So you have to yeah, take a bunch of pills after all the stranger
[00:23:50] Card the fuck somebody that's like smiling at you while you're fucking
[00:24:02] That's not how the human body was meant to operate but yet here kind of like astronauts we do shit
[00:24:07] That's unnatural. Yeah, it's like if you're out at space long enough like you're your bone density will start to break down
[00:24:14] Yeah, it's exactly yeah, and we go through similar
[00:24:18] Tribulation to bring people laughter. Yeah, which is maybe more important women. You're like yeah, it's because I was in space
[00:24:28] You think ain't got any weight pulled down on it and so it starts to retreat back into your body
[00:24:33] So but let me tell you before I went into space, which I did to save lives by the way. Yeah, we ever seen the
[00:24:40] We are beginning. Yeah, I was on that shit. I blew up that damn. It was based on my ship
[00:24:45] But we actually star trekked bitch. Did they survive an army getting I didn't see it. Yeah, of course
[00:24:53] The moosh I mean fuck me. Yeah, I think that fucked my ass. Ladies and gentlemen, which by the way rest in peace coal
[00:25:10] Is it every black group there it's coming for every black Republican right her me it got her McCain
[00:25:16] Yeah, Alan Keas is well, that's the two that's the two groups that don't believe in coronavirus
[00:25:22] I'm sure Colin Powell got back for sure for sure, but I'm saying in general black Republican
[00:25:28] Twitter's the diagram Twitter's all the Jeff T. Drake types are like great now
[00:25:34] We have to explain to the dumbest motherfuckers in the fucking fucking ass. I like that
[00:25:40] What was his job? I've turned the corner like I know I really like I like him now that there's no trouble
[00:25:49] I think he was one of those people the guesses your weight at six
[00:25:51] He looks awesome, that's what you're gonna look like your old. Oh my god. You already
[00:25:58] I kind of already look. Oh, let's see your facial scar. It's not a scar. Yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:26:03] My beside of my face was completely. I can't I don't my glasses on it. Can't see
[00:26:08] Okay, I finally did something cool with his head. Yeah
[00:26:12] After years of getting gas and yankees fitted. He finally got a fucking cool facial scar
[00:26:17] Yeah, I'm gonna I'm thinking about getting a second scar actually now
[00:26:20] Because you're gonna ruin it. You're gonna get a matching scar on the other side
[00:26:26] I get cano style over the eye the coolest car. You can't pull that off the
[00:26:33] Scar that's a thing like if if you were to it would look like you got raped if you were to any gave you the
[00:26:40] You know what is you know what is like the Batman hero we need sort of thing
[00:26:43] Yeah, if you found the guy that's looked on that you could walk around Manhattan
[00:26:46] You find a guy that looks dejected, but it's got to be deep. It's got to be something where he's just satisfied
[00:26:52] Doesn't you know just feels like a fucking loser?
[00:26:55] Yeah, and you take a fucking eight inch like hunting knife
[00:26:59] And you lay a track down his fucking face through his eyeball across his cheek and then that's it
[00:27:05] You leave him alone after that you maybe take use of his eye
[00:27:08] But you give him a deep fucking scar across his face. You will save that man's life
[00:27:12] Yeah, because he now first of all unlimited pussy for the rep for of course forever absolutely for at yeah
[00:27:28] And then if you were in jail people like
[00:27:31] You're like I saw a guy that was pretty depressed
[00:27:33] So I fucking sliced his face open and gave him a cool dog got that scar being a hero
[00:27:38] I fucking hear a stop being a rape seemed later from getting raped and the thing is dumb bitch got married
[00:27:47] First of all Doug Smith first of all the woman very funny by the way
[00:27:56] That's yours now you get a little piece that's yours now if you stop a bank from getting if you find a guys wallet, yeah, right? You're returning you get 20 bucks
[00:28:16] Just thinking about this unwrapped girl
[00:28:19] Thanks to Doug. Thanks to Doug who was married. Yeah, who is married who would they even need the cool scar
[00:28:24] Yeah, and you stopped a rape that guy would have fucked one million
[00:28:29] Fucked up because I do like Doug, but how funny would it be if him and his wife were out and some guy like started raping his wife on the subway
[00:28:43] Twice again come on. Yeah, he pulled me once. That's probably what he'll probably not do anything if I had to guess
[00:28:50] Yeah, I'm sure I shit it out absolutely
[00:28:52] Yeah, yeah, very funny guy cool guy too. I like that
[00:28:56] Yeah, what a waste to be married, but sometimes to get a cool scar, you know, this isn't about it's about the hypotheticals
[00:29:07] Which we can all agree. Yeah, that would be funny. It would be funny
[00:29:22] That is good that that's think of perfectly. Yeah, I was thinking about you know how like cuz my people
[00:29:28] Will bitch should be like well women can have sex whenever they want, you know, right like guys that don't fuck. Yeah, like
[00:29:34] No in the grand scheme of things men can have sex whatever they want from an effort history
[00:29:40] Yeah, yeah, it's just and in the animal came you are afraid of going to jail
[00:29:48] Yeah, yeah, you should teach you should do like a pickup artist seminar where that's your point
[00:29:56] Yeah, we should train for jail. Yeah get your cause beyond
[00:30:03] Okay, I was watching yeah, I want to fuck yeah, you couldn't do a scar I could I could pull off a scar over the eye for sure
[00:30:09] I don't know you you would have too many things going on. Do you think that but I I you're already approaching like when somebody's like gone
[00:30:19] No, no, no my friend. I'm a creative wrestling. I don't have to skin. I had no tooth the tooth is back
[00:30:25] I got a lot of leeway now you need a lot of leeway
[00:30:29] I want to agree that the only one of us they could pull off a facial scar is me
[00:30:35] I mean you would look but it either look would be right, but it would there something would be off
[00:30:39] It would be an earned scar. No what you could do what you could do is the Gucci man ice cream
[00:30:44] I could absolutely get an ice cream fucking go at this you know what you what you need to do because he has got three right?
[00:30:50] That's a three scoop ice cream. Yeah, I believe you got to get one with four four scoops
[00:30:54] They gotta be the guy with the scoops on the for for the force the four skins the four men
[00:31:00] You've got the four skins the are the R&B group the four skins. That is the group of my dick is complete
[00:31:16] Pull back my fours game. That's a little bit of cheesy
[00:31:36] The force I've said this before the four skins is a rove it rotating band of me and three other uncircumcised
[00:31:43] The lying thing is New York Times has came in with it and rotating band in the same you mean like a rotisserie chicken
[00:31:50] Oh, no, I mean like it could be elga cake display it it'd be elga's like a
[00:31:56] traditional one is eldest and my two brothers and me or eldest one of my brother my brother George and Nick
[00:32:02] Yeah, Pete and me or we have fucking you know George is uncirc'd random people you wouldn't expect her uncirc'd
[00:32:11] He's eligible for the four skins because he's adopted right, but his dick is on you know on
[00:32:18] Untouch yeah, I guess his parents bought him a little too late. Yeah, I'm gonna be a I'm gonna be the Oscars
[00:32:23] It'd be funny to be Adam can't be on the top
[00:32:31] His wife is like let's have a kid and then you can't obviously because he's got a pussy
[00:32:35] So yeah, I can't it's the atoms like Buck Angel. Yeah, I accept not strong
[00:32:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like a weaker but biological your book angel more like more like 50 cents angel
[00:32:50] Nickel angel a nickel angel nickel angel
[00:33:03] Docked and he's like well we can save money by getting a six-year-old and
[00:33:06] Then he has to be Jewish and they get the six-year-old circumcise
[00:33:11] Doctor no, we have a we have a full bris. We got a rabbi to do it. It's in front of the whole family little kid is just there
[00:33:18] Fully yeah, he's 11 blinking and she's his voices dropped already. He's got a couple pubes
[00:33:26] It's basically a man at this point well don't there's not have to happen if you convert you got to get your shit
[00:33:32] Snipped I had a neighbor who is Mexican who cheated on his wife and converted
[00:33:39] Reform conservative and then orthodox damn and he got three you got three. What do you mean?
[00:33:44] He got three they the first time they took the foreskin in the second time they had to
[00:33:49] Apparently he said he had to get a little bit of blood drawn
[00:33:53] Oh, so the after a little little slice every time you can hurt you got to like
[00:33:57] Apparently this is what he claims he had to do do they slice it off or they should make it bleed
[00:34:01] I think they just I don't think they slice off a little
[00:34:13] Remember just like do you ever like wait behind an old person the deli counter? That's like it's not thin enough
[00:34:21] Want 0.25 pounds the thinnest you got now
[00:34:24] This isn't and you're not packing it flat enough. Yeah, I do hate a sloppy pack
[00:34:31] When they just like toss the fucking the deli meat in there and crumple it up and so yeah, that's horrible
[00:34:37] I gotta say my key foods little over price, but the pack is it's a flat pack flat pack. It's very nice
[00:34:44] Flat you know watching sopranos the other day. I watched the episode of Olivia dies
[00:34:50] Forgot the funniest detail from that episode there at the there at the wake at the house afterwards
[00:34:57] Julio and Paul you're talking. Uh-huh and he's like so they got it. He's I don't know
[00:35:03] I'm doing like Tony Montana. He's like the the obvious show a survivor and he said in the winner
[00:35:09] He get one million dollars. So why don't we go to find where he leave?
[00:35:21] And Paul is like yeah, we could totally find out
[00:35:23] That's a great I don't even remember that totally forgot about that would be a good scam
[00:35:32] Do you just run up on the winner of survivor every season? How many fucking episodes?
[00:35:38] There's been like 40 still on TV people love that show still bro. Really? It's a beautiful fall day
[00:35:44] It is really nice. Yesterday fall started finally in New York City
[00:35:49] Mmm. Mmm. I was fucking Phoenix was hot as shit. I was pissed off. He next I was in Phoenix
[00:36:02] Phoenix Arizona all the way to Tacoma Philadelphia Atlanta. I'm gay. I'm gay
[00:36:13] You're a bit of Phoenix Adam. Let's have the episode now
[00:36:22] Now we're fucking you guys basically got a Simpsons episode plus 13
[00:36:28] Yeah, right and no one complain when Simpsons was 22 minutes dick into a room
[00:36:32] They can squirtie remember how good that was guys. Yeah dick and squirtie play that back a couple times
[00:36:37] You know that you and I sat and walked by myself. I'm by myself. He just did
[00:36:43] Laughing as a family guy bit about the Asian tricks cereal
[00:36:47] The what when they were there in like Chinatown or whatever and they had like a commercial for tricks cereal
[00:36:53] But it's Asian so it's a bunch of Asian kids
[00:36:55] Hit the breakfast table. Mm-hmm. They're eating tricks and the rabbit comes and they're all Chinese the rabbit size are Chinese
[00:37:02] Uh-huh and they're like Siri Robba Tisha for keys and then they're having psycho you shall and then beats the fuck out of them with karate
[00:37:15] One of the people forget how fucking funny family family guys great show
[00:37:19] Yeah, dude remember remember like I remember what you cut on DVD
[00:37:23] And then there's like a there's like a ground swell
[00:37:29] And we were like we got to get this back. They probably made a lot of a lot of money off of those silly
[00:37:40] Whoa he fucking snapped that kid's neck he snaps the kids neck and then he runs away
[00:37:44] That's actually yeah family guy really was kind of our form our four mothers
[00:37:48] Yeah, well basically everything retired what if China would have the trigger was Chinese
[00:37:53] Trisha part of this good nutritious breakfast
[00:37:57] This is a commercial where the what the fuck what would they did to the tricks rapid whoa?
[00:38:03] Yeah, they desecced it like low low bunny. Yeah, you can't even see his cocking you can't see his beautiful
[00:38:12] Yeah, that's what a little pig tip. It's gone crazy
[00:38:27] Yo, homie, I'm not supposed to say anything, but you have nothing to worry about you're in
[00:38:37] Mean you're cooling on but Carlton well, he's not exactly our type
[00:38:51] We mean not our type well Carlton is not like you and me you know what I'm saying
[00:38:58] No, I don't know what you're saying will what do you mean? Well, it doesn't exactly exemplify what I think of five beta gamma is
[00:39:09] Well, it's not Ralph Lauren shirts and winged tips shoes and corporate America. We don't need a brother like him in this fraternity
[00:39:17] Man he is exactly what you need in this fraternity the car has been a straight a student since pre-store
[00:39:23] He gives you a hundred fifty percent every time looks right well
[00:39:27] I realize he's your cousin and you have to defend him, but this discussion is closed
[00:39:37] This guy shit makes me glad I didn't go to college
[00:39:41] You know if I had to defend Carlton be right from some hotel guy of course
[00:39:46] I'll be like look this really is in my place
[00:39:48] But I'd have to do it. Yes, of course. I mean that's I don't know that's family
[00:39:52] I don't really know what happens in college, but I imagine I'd be put into that situation sure if I was a fraternity boy
[00:39:59] That's right. Yeah, I was in one. I was in one of the case for turn
[00:40:07] Really yeah, oh that's not hey that's not scary
[00:40:10] You know you're doing me really scared because I was gay. Oh cuz you're gay turn me gay
[00:40:17] They turned you out and I still pretend to like pussy, but you got raped and remember the team
[00:40:22] I got raped the tea bagging video the kid that got tea bag
[00:40:26] When on the fucking news to say that he got that
[00:40:32] I got that shit my kid off this when I got back
[00:40:41] He's like oversized yellow hoodie and like
[00:40:45] Skew backwards baseball cabin like they put their balls in my mouth
[00:40:50] My mom made me say this on the yeah, yeah
[00:40:52] I got back completely different kid and you know that mom sucks. Oh horrible dude. Yeah. Well. No
[00:40:58] I mean, oh, you mean she sucks dick. No, he said probably sucks of me dick. She's got the hair
[00:41:02] She seems horrible like a bad part. I'm sure she's she's a piece of shit. Yeah. She's got the Joanne's fabric
[00:41:08] Yeah, yeah, the Joanne you know that bitch got a Joanne. Yeah, I think I told her story before just Joanne
[00:41:15] Sucking your dick with like a million bangles on yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I don't remember for but our
[00:41:31] Youth group your Greek Orthodox basketball team
[00:41:35] There were these two twins that came from straight from Greece. They were really good at basketball and there was like this one fucking loser
[00:41:42] There's like there's a couple rich kids and one of them was like a complete fucking loser
[00:41:47] And he tried to like befriend them by just buying them shit or whatever, you know like that rich kid a classic rich
[00:41:54] And so he would like hang out with them. That's what I do now
[00:42:00] I'm only you guys leave and I'm all these people that come over here and I give them champagne
[00:42:06] Yeah, that would be so funny if you're if you're doing the great Gatsby. Yeah, tell me about your life
[00:42:15] But so they would so we had travel we were going these travel tournaments and you would just go to different churches
[00:42:20] They would host tournaments and it was fun. You go to hotels. There'd be like a party afterwards and
[00:42:26] You know you would root like obviously they're not not if each kid gets their own hotel room
[00:42:31] you would like split it with like yeah three guys and so he was in their room and
[00:42:36] The and those guys like so they would like haze him like constantly the rich kid the rich
[00:42:41] Yeah, yeah, like the fucking the rich the Greek kids the fresh off the boat motherfuckers would and we did you know
[00:42:47] It would it would it would like accelerate every day like you remember the ultimate push up you guys ever do that
[00:42:53] Where it's like someone's you you like hold a guy's head back
[00:42:57] You know you're telling me have to do a push up and they're like pushing up with their neck
[00:43:01] And then you like take take their your hand off you cover their eyes with your hand and push back against their head
[00:43:09] Somebody's ass and then you have somebody's ass so you know we do classics like that. I
[00:43:14] Brubbed my balls on a guy's toothbrush some you know that's some fun stuff there
[00:43:18] And then these guys so we would all like laugh at breakfast about it right like the next day like ah
[00:43:22] We got it, you know whatever and then one day I did to be did that there was a
[00:43:26] Kid mentally retarded kid and I replaced his pills with watch battles
[00:43:35] That was a good prank. Well, so we would all what bills taste weird today
[00:43:40] Also, it's 3 17 p.m. Oh, the batteries make a clock. Yeah
[00:43:51] So everyone's like fucking going around like tell the stories there was laughing and then these guys like yo
[00:43:59] They were last night we put our dick in his mouth
[00:44:09] But it's a great story because they're oh man and they were just like laughing
[00:44:13] You're a fan you straight up at the guy
[00:44:20] That guy sucks the guy who's guys who got raped sucks to be clear the guys are cool
[00:44:26] Look to Greek. I mean even though that was they were over the line there
[00:44:30] I'll have to say but you got a separate art from artists. Yep. Those guys bad. That was any hole raping somebody good
[00:44:37] No, no, no, no, it's the opposite any hall. Oh
[00:44:40] They're their art form is bad. They're art was bad. It's kind of like what's where the later Woody outs that are bad
[00:44:52] What are you doing Manhattan right? Yeah, Elizabeth town
[00:45:03] That was pretty good on a failure to launch he did that right?
[00:45:07] Yeah, Terry Bradshaw on church as a marker
[00:45:14] That's one of my favorite stories. I loved my I couldn't I kind of want to show it
[00:45:18] I want to you know what? I'm gonna have a little like a little bourbon on the rocks and watch 10 things
[00:45:23] I hate about you do it man. It's that kind of fall afternoon fuck it make a little hot make a hot toddy and watch 10 things
[00:45:29] I have a spike cider spike cider a couple of Vicodins
[00:45:33] Oh, cigarette really nice. No, you lost me with a SIG, but everything else I'm in
[00:45:39] Only because I have a but you know what you make that a pipe and now I'm back in
[00:45:43] Something smokey something oaky you're gonna get into a pipe. I'm just saying that vibe you just laid out
[00:45:49] Yeah, hot toddy vike it in and a fucking you should get a pipe dude. We should have pipe Tuesdays
[00:45:54] We should do that pipe in the fucking cabin dude. Yeah, I'm thinking about plans for the cabin. I got a couple
[00:46:00] You know, we're doing a pork shoulder again. We're doing a big fat pork shoulder
[00:46:04] You know because this time this time there's some fucked up with that oven at the last place
[00:46:10] Yeah, it was nice, but it was a broiler. It had a spoiler over here. Yeah, I can't bring the Instant Pot is actually okay
[00:46:17] Pork shoulder. No, this gotta be pretty. It's gotta be we gotta have the house smell it like it. I don't want
[00:46:23] Yeah, I like cubes with meat. I don't like shredding. Well, then you know what we should get it. Did they have a Dutch oven there?
[00:46:28] I'm not sure. Let's cook it in the Dutch oven. It's not the wheel brought a Dutch oven last time the kitchen motherfucker made that
[00:46:37] I can't I'm excited to go back to that little town. That's our little town. We go back to the same town
[00:46:43] Yeah, I'm down different house. Nice. We might have to drive separate. I don't have enough room. I call it. Yeah, we'll drive separate
[00:46:51] We'll figure it out. That's fine. I want to take my car up actually because I don't do alternates on
[00:46:56] Where I don't want to leave it. Mm-hmm. Well, we're leaving your car me and stop driving. I will be yeah
[00:47:03] Take our own cars. Well, so I'm a garage
[00:47:06] Yeah, but the fuck I would like to drive my car. Yeah, it's nice driving around and then we can all race up there
[00:47:12] I'd love to really fuck you guys remember next bit about honking the horn and shouting
[00:47:17] I need pussy at houses in the middle of the woods. It was beautiful. I don't remember. I need pussy. I don't remember that
[00:47:27] It sounds it sounds totally like what was it was a bit. I'm just I think it was just like, you know
[00:47:34] We have five days of the woods together and then everything's a bit. Oh
[00:47:37] Oh when we were in the car, and I thought you made me had a bit that rewrote a bit about. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Oh, yeah
[00:47:47] We're yeah, that was a hug at the horn shouting at houses. We're doing that. Give us some pussy
[00:47:53] Pause that was awesome. Yeah, it's fun. Dude. I'm thinking we get into gambling this time
[00:47:58] Heavy gambling thousands of dollars just the three of us
[00:48:01] You guys played back here on Robin Hood and I was on fucking finance. I know you were too crypto
[00:48:07] Yeah, you guys played backgammon. I'll bring back. You know, I used to play backgammon all the time when I was a kid
[00:48:12] Let's play backgammon. I play. I have it. It's I
[00:48:15] I love playing it. Let's do it. I have a very nice set. We'll do fucking dollar game five dollar games
[00:48:22] I love that there's a gambling aspect to it where you can roll the dice are huge in this
[00:48:27] This there's that big dice with like the multipliers on it. Can you send me the Airbnb link? Yeah, sure
[00:48:42] I don't understand what the multiplier is though. I don't I think it's it's how you bet on it
[00:48:47] Oh, you can double the bet. Yeah, but like it goes up to like
[00:48:50] 64 I can't believe it's been a year and normally that would make me like fuck. It's a year and I've done nothing
[00:48:55] I'm happy about it, but you know, that's you then but it's also like oh, it's been a decade and I've done
[00:49:05] Yeah, yeah, it's a year at this point. Yeah years ain't shit. It's pretty fucking that is kind of depressing actually
[00:49:18] That just accomplished one thing it takes a year I started saying that and realized immediately that I was lying to myself
[00:49:38] And now I'm fat also yeah, I lost my beard and I'm fat
[00:49:42] Now you look good man. No, you look good. You're trimmed up. You got a little handsome these days
[00:49:48] Listen, I'm going back to being handsome. Yeah, it's done. You're reclaiming it ugly
[00:49:54] You're done cosplaying as an ugly person. I was not ugly. I just had a huge beard. He looks fucked up and weird
[00:50:03] Did that beard was like an horrific no, it was cool, but you looked bad and I looked and you can do both
[00:50:09] As is a testament to my whole style. Yeah, but see you're all of your shit works
[00:50:15] Together true stop. You know what you should get belly button ring with a dangly
[00:50:22] Actually, I should start wearing eyeliner and you should get goblin ears
[00:50:26] Like bigger ear like that's a little too much man. You need a giant earlobes and eyeliner dangly
[00:50:33] You're in the belly button ring with a like a miniature genie lamp on the bottom. You should get gold circles
[00:50:40] You know like around your nipples and then going out the middle of your chest. That'd be cool
[00:50:45] Whatever time like glued on gold jewelry. I really did want to fuck girls
[00:50:49] I had that little dangly thing when we were in like high school. That'd be awesome. There's a lot of really
[00:50:54] There's a girl. I really wanted to fuck that had that
[00:51:04] She was on her think she was like part Middle Eastern. You're going mustache now, too
[00:51:09] I know it said I've been a bit of my stash guy. Have you I brought it back. I brought the way the pencil back
[00:51:15] Yeah, I just I let my shit grow every couple weeks and I give it a little trim
[00:51:19] Yeah, well you got it. This is the hard part is shaving this part here
[00:51:23] Yeah, and it really does make a difference absolutely if you get rid of that and you got the just over the lip pencil
[00:51:29] It's a sharp look the sharp look 100% yeah
[00:51:34] Again, this is brought to you by bespoke post
[00:51:43] Used to hate when I was on Instagram. I fucking hated those ads those ads that company more than anything
[00:51:51] Yeah, this is a ten you like you paid $50 a month to get like a jigger
[00:51:57] Yeah, just like a leather-bound copy of like Henning Way's short story
[00:52:03] To read at 28 years old I'm into reading now a fucking pocket watch you know what I am into reading now
[00:52:10] Yeah, I started reading again fun. Now you're copying me. No, I'm sorry before you no chance. I read huckleberry Finn
[00:52:17] I never read it. I know it's for kids, but I feel like it's Mark Twain's great, dude. It's really good
[00:52:24] Yeah, you know what you know, it might be one of the only books that I've LOL you know who I have the conference
[00:52:29] I say great straight people don't like is Dickens really Dickens is great. Oh
[00:52:35] You have the confidence to see that is good
[00:52:41] Because you deal with this kind of this kind of no if you would just said Dickens was great
[00:52:46] I'd be like okay cool. We're you said you have the confidence
[00:52:49] To be a part of the dick and that's what happens
[00:52:59] Have the best of dick I have the worst of dick. Yeah, that's some good dick
[00:53:02] That's me on dick fills and without dick dude that book that book is awesome
[00:53:06] I'm sure more of the thing is like you think bitches beyond some shit, but really they're trash
[00:53:13] With no words or sacrifices himself and for no pussy for no pussy. Yeah
[00:53:23] That he's in love with but he looks exactly like her her man's and his man her man's was supposed to get
[00:53:30] Executed and he does it as a gesture of love for her what but he gets no pussy. What?
[00:53:36] Sorry, I was thinking a great expectation. No, that's that's tale of two cities. That's what happens in that book. Yeah
[00:53:44] Yeah, you know you know a great expectation so that book ends right now
[00:53:48] So the book starts off in the little boy like he's just playing around his house and some like fucking Scottish prisoner
[00:53:54] Some like groundskeeper really dude like walks by the shackles on
[00:53:58] He's our heavy lot pick in the little boy like gives him like something out of the shed
[00:54:03] And he like takes the shackles off and then it's like you know him growing up and then he like ends up
[00:54:09] Wandering on to some like like dilapidated estate
[00:54:11] There's this old creepy old woman that lives there with this young girl
[00:54:15] And then the old woman's like mean to the boy
[00:54:18] But he also at the same time like through that the old woman has this like I guess executor or lawyer or whatever that like handles the estate
[00:54:25] That also tells little boy like there's a mysterious benefactor is like giving you like money to learn how to be like proper
[00:54:31] Hmm so he gets like clothes and he thinks that it's the old woman like turning him into like a man
[00:54:36] That's worthy of this young girl so that she can like right the wrongs of her own life or when you know
[00:54:41] Because like a man left her so she's making him right a woman and then he'll eventually get pussy from the young girl
[00:54:46] Of course doesn't happen turns out she is just a bitch that hates men and was like manipulating this little boy the entire time
[00:54:53] Wow teaching the woman to be you know manipulative and kind and it was just like the Scottish convict like went and made a shit
[00:54:59] Ton of money and was like sending money to the boy for freedom Wow
[00:55:03] It's about the fellas so it was free money
[00:55:06] Yeah, but the bitch told him there was stipulations or the bitch was not giving him money at all. No, he got it from the con
[00:55:14] Oh, I remember reading tell you is on high school. I'm a good guy
[00:55:20] Getting the end of being like hell yeah, I got a lot of about a book about a cock right because it feels like that
[00:55:27] Which is a guy trying to get pussy so much the story is that fellas look out for
[00:55:31] And you know what he gave him so much stuff. He could have bought cool clothes
[00:55:35] Yeah, good bar like guns and he could have bought pussy
[00:55:39] You're really wouldn't had to do any of the three you wouldn't had to fucking jump and you're not to learn any lessons
[00:55:44] Oh, he got fucked up. Yeah, I would have been such a much better life
[00:55:48] They didn't have like Ferraris or nightclubs backing. Yeah, what would you say that bottle service? Nothing you just have money
[00:55:54] You have like gold and shit gold all right. No, you got a cast you could dress cool
[00:55:59] You probably get a carriage you read up you
[00:56:03] A sick horse a sick horse a couple sick horse of human bondage. No, it's a book about a cock also
[00:56:08] Some I kind of teeth cup of teeth. I know it's a very annoying book. I hate shit like that. I like shit
[00:56:19] I read this book I was going through a thread of I
[00:56:24] Asked people for book recommendations like six months ago
[00:56:27] Yeah, and I went through the thread and picked stuff with a cool cup like if anybody
[00:56:32] Posted a picture in the cover was cool like had a bitch on a red this book called Hyperion
[00:56:38] Yeah, it's pretty good. It's about a bridge in Los Angeles. No, it's about like some fucking monster that like
[00:56:43] It was the first two books the first one was interesting and then so about time travel shit
[00:56:48] It was kind of good fucking confusing. You should read hook fin dude. It's mad fun. No, I'm reading
[00:56:54] It's really good reading a Confederacy of dunces. Dude. That's the only other book that I've LLL that's fucking hilarious
[00:57:00] It's the funniest book of all that book fucking rules. You should play that role. I know I saw the picture the guy
[00:57:06] I was like that is the role well. There's like a I'm not sure. It's too big. He's I'm not sure if this is huge
[00:57:11] True, but apparently every time they've tried to make a movie
[00:57:15] Guide back there is that John Candy was gonna do it. Yeah, it's John Candy would have been perfect
[00:57:21] That's still I still think the funniest name of all time. I'm really a fat guy named Jonathan
[00:57:32] Hmm. What's that what's that called not nominative the nominative determinative? Someone
[00:57:41] Gets pussy. Yeah, and you guys should both be Adam and Nick's six dick Adam is respected
[00:57:49] Adam and six dick Adam because your brothers
[00:57:56] Yeah, you saw mister just like everyone's dick for clues
[00:58:07] Homosexual and psychopedia downs, and he's like somebody took to cookies from the cookie job
[00:58:16] The book is like it was me. Oh, it's like that movie identity. Oh, I was thinking Pelican Bay or whatever the
[00:58:34] No, there's a TV show no no no it's a score stage movie the thinking of Quantico
[00:58:44] NCIS my man fuck, dude. He's on a island shutter island Norman said one time he's like NCIS was that CSI for black
[00:59:07] Take some fuck I can't wait. I don't know if I've said this yet, but you know be great a little bit of Iked in
[00:59:13] Spike cider. Yeah, yeah, I'm watching ten things
[00:59:18] Bull my run and then just for the nice a Swedish girlfriend in ski lodge clothes. Yeah. Oh my god
[00:59:25] I'm going I'm going back to the hotel room. It's my apartment bitch. Yep. It's nowhere to go back to this
[00:59:33] Is this this is a lot of imagination. I pick a fucking fight
[00:59:38] You don't even exist getting it not even getting your dick's like hallucination from lack of sleep
[00:59:44] I'm hallucinating. I've been on pills for six days in a row podcasting
[00:59:55] Oh, I'm not just this one, but I mean especially this one but all of them I don't think