Cum Town | Premium | 11/07/2021
[00:00:00] all what's this adam which is started the show adam had to add a matter of
[00:00:04] reference to what is going to make us listen to less than jake
[00:00:07] i don't want to let us know that he did the scott bands you know i was supposed
[00:00:12] to go see less than jake but i didn't go with you found glory in less than jake
[00:00:26] we've got in finance returning to the fucking program after
[00:00:30] uh... prolonged absence could have you brother
[00:00:35] brought treats yes yes and delicious donuts any and you've been in prison
[00:00:45] you want to talk about prison in Delaware
[00:00:49] you know it's a bit of my own mind you talk about doing hard time in
[00:00:53] or yeah i'd be like you know it's really cool to be back and
[00:01:12] yeah don't worry most of this most of this fucking podcast is just
[00:01:16] we've been playing this you know why we got this guy
[00:01:29] that plays and i look at the beer the morning
[00:01:33] said you want to play your song into your bit
[00:01:44] you're the best you want to read his next week is
[00:01:49] his latest yeah and things i hate about you it's good to be back and you know
[00:02:03] and no matter how far away from each other we are
[00:02:08] that's a big more that's so true brother
[00:02:12] that's so fucking true and in life it's
[00:02:22] and you're three guys i'll never forget
[00:02:50] you guys have middle school graduations
[00:03:31] I know I know I gotta go morning radio at a certain point. Oh, I would love to
[00:03:39] You're both Howard Stern and Beatle juice
[00:03:48] Well, no, you'd you want to fuck Robert if she had a piece. What's the gay guy's name gay?
[00:03:56] No, that's slow Eric. No, there's one of those coney Ellen freak shows crackhead Bob
[00:04:08] They really mean to that guy I know how much did you guys jerk off to private parts?
[00:04:14] No, I actually we we talk about a couple of us to go we would check off to the E Howard Stern
[00:04:20] Yes, where they would have the the gas a defining moment in my life was watching
[00:04:27] E Howard Stern at night was my mom and one of my bunnies and you're jacking up
[00:04:37] We were talking about the different girls of the show and my buddy was like she saw it
[00:04:42] Then girl came on I was like that's a woman and she was trans
[00:04:46] Wow, yeah, I'm checking off the lights turn
[00:04:55] Girls voice I want to suck on her Adam's apple. Yes and her big knuckles
[00:05:01] He is a movie can maybe you can smooch me on the lip side
[00:05:07] Now this is going on while your mother was in the room
[00:05:10] Yeah, one of them may have called me a fag
[00:05:12] Well your mom or your friend my mom called me gay
[00:05:19] Yeah, cuz I would take a while to get ready. Oh, yeah, you're such a girl
[00:05:24] That's a yeah, yeah, and what I've misbehaved as a child or no when I when I'd be whiny as a child
[00:05:31] My parents called me eonetta. Wow. So your gender issues are from but in a way. That's kind of like way. Yeah
[00:05:39] The kind of woke in a way. Yeah, dude. I when I was a
[00:05:43] Like cuz parents now are like we're gonna sexually abuse our child so they have the freedom to yeah
[00:05:49] trauma when yeah, and then when they go into trans it'll just be
[00:05:54] Reenacting the trauma and owning it we want our kid to grow up so that they can never be fired for any reason
[00:06:00] Yeah, we're gonna sexually abuse the teflon children turn them into a gender freak
[00:06:05] Yeah, so they can be terrible at their job and they we kill it on Howard Stern now old school
[00:06:12] Yeah, they're gonna walk into the office day one in a fucking mini skirt with their asshole peers
[00:06:25] What do you mean I didn't do any work for the last three weeks are you calling me a fag?
[00:06:36] Like oh no, here's a ray here's a promotion
[00:06:41] As a guy that's fucking never had a job. That's how offices
[00:06:58] It's not like it fucking you sound like I was back when I back you know when a lady would just sleep with a man for advancement
[00:07:06] I literally worked at it when I was a paralegal
[00:07:10] I worked at the worst fucking law firm what they were like defrauding people one of the guys killed himself like
[00:07:17] Yeah, one of the partners blue is fucking brains. Holy fuck
[00:07:20] There was like there's like lawyers literally just like straight up being like yeah
[00:07:25] I mean if you show me your pussy, I can give you a raise
[00:07:29] And they were like horrible lawyers because they were they all lived in Maryland, but it was they were doing law in Florida
[00:07:34] Why so you had to be like barred in Florida?
[00:07:37] Which is the easiest place to get barred so it's like is the biggest retard lawyer. I'm a lawyer in Florida. All right. Yeah
[00:07:43] Yeah, it's like money. You know how you get ordained online. Yeah
[00:07:46] Yeah, you can marry your your Nick Mullins sucks choir Star Wars couples your friends with yeah Ron DeSantis
[00:07:53] Look at you the the legal degree for not how about Ron John Santis John
[00:08:00] Yes, I used to have a Ron John sticker on my boogie board. You don't say my no fear sticker
[00:08:07] I was in I loved no fear when I was a fat little child no fear. No fear awesome
[00:08:13] Yes, I didn't know fear shirt. I got out of a lost and found oh yes that
[00:08:19] That I always felt like a fraud like people would discover
[00:08:25] Where I was listening live in fear you were the talented mr. Ripley. Yeah, and you were just as gay as that character
[00:08:34] Talented you were gay like mr. Ripley rip your bassel of me for having gay sex with it. Yeah, that's what it but I did
[00:08:41] No, not to me to another guy you to a guy you had sex with guys see the shirt that said does not play well with
[00:08:53] What I wanted to make a sure that's false advertising you play great with others
[00:08:57] I want to play the friendliest guy. I know that's a little puppy and one guy holding a basketball and just as suck my fucking
[00:09:04] I saw somebody doing edit that it was like if I missed this shot, I'll kill myself
[00:09:19] Remember big Johnson's yep, I always wanted those my mom. Oh, they were shirts
[00:09:25] Setting himself up in off the backboard to don't kill yourself
[00:09:50] Yeah, you gotta let Ian be free you're right man. You gotta let him you gotta let him walk on jokes
[00:10:13] Really used to make money and we just know we hated really yeah, yeah
[00:10:19] That's it's going on six years now. So that's kind of why we're having you back because we're kind of
[00:10:25] Yeah, just go crazy really and that's gonna backfire it is it
[00:10:29] People in fuck yeah, but if he's here enough we're giving the right now. He's a novelty
[00:10:41] Invited you I fucking invited Ian to come to the woods. This motherfuckers like I can I have to be at Skanksfest
[00:10:47] Oh like a day after you're in the woods. No, you said the 29 to the fourth
[00:10:51] I leave the fourth at like six a.m. So you don't have to be there the whole time
[00:10:55] I know but what about the 30th maybe the 31st maybe first maybe I'll come Monday Tuesday now we're talking
[00:11:04] Yeah, there you go. I saw a podcast called the Legion of Chinks
[00:11:12] Yeah, those would be pissed. He didn't think of it first
[00:11:15] Just a little like the guys with the eyes you know how the NBA NBA is like we got to get into China
[00:11:27] That's Lewis's idea of getting into China
[00:11:34] Is I work spanning into China and Taiwan
[00:11:37] Yeah, oh my god, and it's he just finds the worst like Asian open micros
[00:11:55] Yeah, so folks if Ian doesn't show up on the on the
[00:11:59] Come Town retreat podcast episodes coming up. He's a delusion. He's a chinks he's starting
[00:12:13] Fuck dude. Yeah, but anyway, dude these five let me just again give you credit for bringing these donuts Ian great
[00:12:19] They were delicious. They had a little salt and pepper dude. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
[00:12:23] The best yeah, shout out to them when son W. I
[00:12:32] Great dude those Sam the breakfast sandwiches there
[00:12:46] Some you want to share you know I had a rough night. Oh, yeah Adam's got a bunch of bugs all over my mind
[00:12:53] Oh my what my apartment is riddled with mice right now. I didn't see I didn't say I know
[00:12:59] Literally what I said is you get this girl friend. That's what the cats
[00:13:04] Remembering his own minor bits from like
[00:13:15] Yeah, I'll say just have his girlfriend could take the cap for the week and then let the cat fucking have a job
[00:13:20] Dude these mice. What about Samson could he kill a mouse? Yes, you think so good
[00:13:29] Some cats kill them and then drop them on their master's chests while they're sleeping as like a tribute
[00:13:34] Yeah, but you're not the master. So yours is some
[00:13:39] Vision needs a task. No, I need a cat. I need a cat that eats them the mice whole I can't have some cats
[00:13:45] Don't eat mice whole they just killed them. Yeah, they just kill them. Maybe I need a snake
[00:13:49] You did a snake. I should go to what if you became a snake guy
[00:13:55] Adam doesn't have it in there's never been a
[00:13:58] There's definitely been Jewish nay guys. No, we are snakes
[00:14:04] Yeah, it's true we can't get some but you're also
[00:14:20] And then they literally did not sleep last night my dog
[00:14:27] Then the mice showed up under the radiator kicked her out of my bedroom that she started bashing her head into my bedroom door
[00:14:34] Because she wanted to hunt the mouse those in the bedroom. Did she kill anyone? No
[00:14:40] Cat a cat is an apex predator dogs an idiot dog can't kill a dog just
[00:14:44] Just like just bark at their fucking radiator and the mouse will never come out the cat however
[00:14:50] We'll just watch it from across the room. They can't will tower it for hours a cat. We'll just fucking yeah
[00:14:57] She'll like fucking she'll just watch the birds and her teeth will start like chattering
[00:15:04] Has his instinct to kill them the cat won't kill it out or you know
[00:15:08] How we'll let it live a little bit and then fucking torture it so it really feels that slow
[00:15:13] With their little Paul yeah, it's so fucked so cute
[00:15:16] I don't know or a little dog a little dog might be able to kill them
[00:15:23] I don't know smaller. Oh, I know dude. I got a little something if you come Monday. Oh, you have a car
[00:15:30] Yeah, yeah, you got a car now. Well, you might you might be a girlfriend's car
[00:15:34] You might be able to get a right if you need to come yes
[00:15:37] Elders I might be able to get your life. Maybe if you know I would love oh my god
[00:15:51] Yeah, we should talk about it more but he should never be on my
[00:16:00] Talking about his naked body together. Yeah, I never think your elders is dick. Oh, yeah
[00:16:07] It's the best no, no, he's fully nude. He's like his ashes out. He was running away. It's really funny. It's one of those live pictures
[00:16:13] Yeah, you're not slap well, I perfectly captures the moment that he has to like generate enough force to like reverse you know
[00:16:31] He's one of the least graceful human beings of all time
[00:16:35] I also it looks like it looks like when they're trying to like steer the Titanic right before it hits
[00:16:40] Yeah, I also have another video of him where he was like dude his cat's name was Sumaya
[00:16:47] Sum is doing the cutest thing right clearly like which one of your jokes
[00:16:52] Where it's like you try and like get someone to like click on something. Oh like when I was like hey
[00:17:00] Cocking his cock like I didn't open the picture and then in a net the next day was like dude
[00:17:07] What the hell like I sent you the pictures like all right? I've been ignoring Ian
[00:17:11] He's been annoying the last few weeks. I'll look at his gay ass picture
[00:17:14] And then it was just this cock and I was like then this is why you're getting
[00:17:21] I'm really gay. You're when Tommy Poppy had that profile picture read yeah cock
[00:17:34] That's a great idea. I'm jealous of that one. Oh yeah, Pope rules suck me off coach. I want a big a
[00:17:44] Have you ever you're molested by coach ever Ian no no unless I blacked it out
[00:17:49] Well, you didn't play any sports. I guess yeah, I did you did play baseball growing up
[00:17:55] Ressled was bad at it. You didn't get molested by the wrestling coach and then no kid on the team and then
[00:18:03] And then I ran cross country in high school. Oh shit two years fucking Ian your ring
[00:18:09] You did pretty fun bigger you got the same rings
[00:18:12] Oh, there's that same gay little turquoise right also have a scott pinky ring nice. Yeah, shout out
[00:18:19] Stoodabaker medals no free plugs no free plug free
[00:18:24] No free plugs cratum dr. No free plugs no free plugs no
[00:18:27] Literally don't do that. Oh my bad. Yeah, and then I got this I got a lighter cover
[00:18:34] We're gonna you can shut out your friends, but it's a bit big. There's a bear on it. Yeah, it kind of sticks out my pocket
[00:18:42] Yeah, but the turquoise matches my ring which is nice. Yeah, you could tell you what you're stupid
[00:18:47] Remember Jeff leech. Yes. Yeah, I saw Jeff leech it fucking stand up New York one time
[00:18:53] Uh-huh and he was it was like an early show there's almost nobody there and he did some joke and in the joke
[00:18:58] He like gestured yeah like this and all of his like pewter finger armor
[00:19:10] For audience members there had to like help
[00:19:21] Yeah, he's a nice guy, but he came here and then he was like immediately working like the seller all the time because he was British
[00:19:26] So he's like famous commit. Yeah, they literally probably thought he was Russell. Yeah, cuz he had rings and he was yeah
[00:19:33] Yeah, exactly because I mean he has like the same aesthetic and then like you know, I
[00:19:38] Mean I don't have any problems the guy, but I'm pretty sure he was just like a guy
[00:19:43] Yeah, you just produced his way in the great spots. Yeah, and then he got like canceled last year
[00:19:50] I think didn't you have like one I think I think I saw a joke where the punchline was
[00:19:53] Him just saying retard which respect. I think it was Donald Trump
[00:20:00] He do something like that. No, he's a man. You're lazy is
[00:20:09] But yet no he he was like he was one of the he like did voice acting and was oh, yeah, he was ghost
[00:20:17] They had to remove him from the game because he's on some twitch stream like threatening to rape a woman
[00:20:25] Did some kind of gamer gate oh, that's so funny, I'm gonna put chainmail in your pussy
[00:20:36] Yeah, dude, have you ever lost a ring in a woman's pussy in no, I'm kind enough to take you first
[00:20:41] You never get caught up in the moment never always never finger pops with rings on take them
[00:20:47] Off put them on the shelf and that's when I go on a fuck man
[00:20:51] What if you have like some kind of you know impromptu gay encounter put them in your pocket
[00:21:03] Yeah, that's nice, I don't know I just feel like maybe you get swept up some time I could see you wearing rings
[00:21:09] I have pinky ring. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He had a week where he bought a bunch of jewelry and shit
[00:21:13] I still wear hung out. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna go get you where's his name plate. I wear jewelry
[00:21:20] I just don't wear it to the fucking gas podcast. What am I gonna?
[00:21:26] No, no, you don't yeah, look it looks nice. This is my right Italian hand
[00:21:32] Because I got the the break the pinky ring from
[00:21:40] Italian I guess that explains half this shit. Yeah, if it don't say yeah, don't you?
[00:21:45] Because it's weird cuz you know not that you
[00:21:48] Present a fucking white guy from Delaware you present your fucking mouth
[00:21:51] Yeah, so with the jewelry and like the the little hamburger beef shirt action, uh-huh it reads as Canadian
[00:22:04] Canadians have that kind of like like Sims create a skater hodgepodge culture. It doesn't make any sense, right?
[00:22:11] You know, yeah, I mean you just white trash from Delaware. Yeah, that's what it really is. Which is fine
[00:22:17] We accept you we accept you are my minute our minute Atlantic brother. That's right
[00:22:22] We have more common with you than we have with Adam. You've been you've been doing the mustache too for I just noticed that that you you've had
[00:22:29] You have more consistent facial hair than anyone. I know I've had the mustache since like
[00:22:37] But the same kind of mustache to yes never any handlebar stuff never anything. Yeah, I don't like that
[00:22:44] Yeah, I think you should just you should I think you should dab you've had the mustache
[00:22:50] Copy me. I didn't copy you. Yes. I didn't copy you
[00:22:53] That's when we first bonded over the first time you and I hung out I was I literally that I will say this and it's
[00:23:00] 100% true not a single one and not a single comic in Brooklyn had the pencil mustache
[00:23:05] Hilarious hilarious thing to fucking claim and then you copied me. I didn't copy what you're so
[00:23:10] Oh, yeah, what a thing to claim you don't if you've changed your fucking facial hair a bunch
[00:23:16] You had a fucking giant beard for a year. Yeah, you had a mustache at points
[00:23:20] I grew up a mustache out of trauma and it was more of a joke
[00:23:23] And you know what I said this looks kind of good because I had that fucking tumor
[00:23:27] I'm glad and I'm happy for you and I would never do it because of you it was copy it was never
[00:23:33] You know own having a mustache then you copied Ian. How about that? I've never had that kind of muscle
[00:23:46] You this is my this is my mustache. I grow a certain type of fucking facial. You've never shaved if anything you've never shaved up
[00:23:56] I don't know girls like that. I'm saying have you ever shaved sometimes to fuck around there we go
[00:24:01] No, no, there's no there. We go then there. There is no there. We go
[00:24:05] You don't always have that you had that sometimes I have a very long time and I was keeping myself dapper I
[00:24:13] Had I had a pencil mustache. I didn't I didn't start with a pencil mustache. I just let the shit grow. We watch the sopranos
[00:24:31] Went the mustache is a coolest character
[00:24:35] Yeah, he never had to do crime to be cool
[00:24:39] No, but he had that he did take this hunting rifle to Tony that one time yeah, and he pushed out
[00:24:43] That would have been so awesome if the show ended right there. It's Tony's mom. Yes
[00:24:50] Livia hater after what he did to your restaurant. She really is a fucking I'd eat that's the atom of the show
[00:25:05] Do the fur the first time I met you was it funny moms?
[00:25:09] Really years ago, oh yes and unbeknownst to both you and I Nick
[00:25:27] You guys went fucking beavis and butt head
[00:25:32] That is we had been friends for like a year prior to that
[00:25:39] We met we'd been friends for a long no cuz you you were you were cool with him before I was because I
[00:25:50] You were the one that was like that guy Ian's crazy because I like I guess I didn't get that read on you
[00:25:55] I thought you were just a normal person. Oh, yeah, I knew from the jump. Yeah, what we were dealing with here
[00:26:08] Yeah, no, I remember because I remember me the first time mean you had a real conversation was it fucking laughing devil
[00:26:13] Yo, that's right. Yes, and I had been I had been about like roughly like a year
[00:26:20] Sober or something and like and I thought I was in a clear, you know when you like stop drinking you're totally
[00:26:25] Oh, it's like I'm good to go and you're like yeah
[00:26:27] I ate about that and then I fucking you said, you know, that's shit about drinking hand sanitizer in the airport
[00:26:32] And I'm trying to buy crack a nightclub. I didn't crack it was coke
[00:26:41] I was like what the fuck happened because I was like boy
[00:26:43] I was instantly like how can you go like a year and then have some you're like I was just bored
[00:26:49] That wasn't bored. I stopped doing everything that I did to keep me sober
[00:26:54] Well, you said you were in an airport and your flight got delayed. So you just bought a beer right right?
[00:26:58] Yeah, but it was it was a bunch of stuff that like let out. Yeah, that's that's the the relapse
[00:27:03] It's tipping for the first drink. Wow. Oh, that's good. I love how much I turn the turn the volume
[00:27:09] I love how much like program bullshit is baked into your head. It's good, man
[00:27:14] It's like the truth that is the truth is it. Yeah, absolutely
[00:27:18] I'm not a 12-step guy. No, but you can you can apply it to anyone can apply it to their life
[00:27:28] Dude, because I definitely you prepare yourself to relapse totally you get you get mentally you're like totally
[00:27:34] And then you start listening out the excuses or reasons why yeah, yeah, and then it's just often then reasons one little break
[00:27:41] You're like yeah, dude the slightest bad thing could happen and you're like yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:27:46] And they're like I can handle this. It's not a big deal. Yeah, that's the best. Oh my god
[00:27:51] He's not a big deal. I can fucking smoke a little weed. Yeah, and then you do it and everything's fine
[00:27:56] You're like I can do it. That's what it goes. Yeah, but the real whatever I mean
[00:28:02] No, I mean like all that stuff is really good and you can apply it to your life to not the goals and not
[00:28:10] Not drink the goals that live a life where you don't think drinking will make it better
[00:28:17] Yeah, like I drinking is like one of the least of my problems
[00:28:20] I have to work on a bunch of other stuff in order to be like on the level right and if I'm not on the level
[00:28:25] Then it drinks seems like a better idea. Absolutely. I think that makes a lot. I'm jealous because I'm jealous because that's how I feel about just eating like a
[00:28:33] Unhealthy but the problem is I have to eat every fucking day. I know dude. I really feel I have to have a little
[00:28:39] It's wild that that's not how being fat works that you could just stop eating for like six months
[00:28:56] Sucks you have to keep doing a little crack, but just the right amount the right just a little bit of crack yeah
[00:29:07] It's my cross to bear it really does dude
[00:29:10] I really fucking feel what you're gonna do because it's like a thing of it once it gets in your sister
[00:29:16] I don't like I know for me if I have anything in front of me
[00:29:19] I have to do like food. I'm like I gotta eat all of it or man's penis. Yeah, I gotta eat all
[00:29:27] All our if our dicks were all out how long would it take before you started sucking one of them one way to find out
[00:29:34] I only make this a visual that would be cool. Honestly. That's the one thing that could end the podcast
[00:29:50] Truly adding the show in a compound. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:29:53] It was like Ian was fucking bobbing on one of us and going skiing on the other
[00:30:18] That's our ticket out boys Nick said Nick saying that but his mouth is watering in here. His dick is hard. Yeah, there's a
[00:30:39] That would be a cool move dude is like you see a girl you like and like in the club or whatever
[00:30:44] It's just tactically shit into your cock in your dick area. Why just you lay like a turd
[00:30:49] Like the way butterflies are trying to make themselves look like bigger predators
[00:31:14] You stuff a condom full of the shit your dick is taking up like one third of it
[00:31:17] She's like what's that smell you like it's your pussy
[00:31:29] Dude when when have you guys urban skydiving no, dude. It's the best
[00:31:34] I feel bad for that guy that had to tandem with you team building exercise. Let's do it
[00:31:41] But dude we're in the plane and the instructor is like we always like to tell jokes right before we jump out
[00:32:06] We're strapped on to this guy that's so awesome. He does cut the tension
[00:32:16] I thought it was gonna be a skydiving joke
[00:32:21] So awesome dude this fucking exterminator that came saturday he was like not he was like putting down fucking poison
[00:32:30] Powder and he's like he had the mouse will rub up against it. It's like this old man from fucking benson her
[00:32:35] It's like yeah, the mouse will rub up against it'll die later on so I'm like I'm gonna have to hunt for dead my
[00:32:45] My friend's apartment somehow a bird got stuck in the wall
[00:32:52] It got stuck at my exhaust fan then it just died in there probably smell that fucking yeah the apartment was disgusting
[00:32:59] Anyway, he was just trying to tell jokes through the whole thing. They were just the worst
[00:33:03] He was like you know what they say, you know, I still have a good sense of they can't they can't see well
[00:33:09] You know, of course. There's a the famous nursery rhyme three blind and then he just waited for us
[00:33:16] And I was just like can you foot I can you get out of my fucking apartment right now?
[00:33:33] Was the punchline dude three blind mice, I guess he's like I guess that's why they have that nursery rhyme
[00:33:39] It wasn't even fun. It wasn't that I don't know why he was like yeah, and you know, you've you've ever seen the life of pride bought the python
[00:33:46] You know, it's always look on the bright side of
[00:33:55] He just made you do puns. It didn't make any sense. Yeah, it didn't make any sense
[00:33:59] You got you kind of got alpha there dude this and he didn't do shit and now I'm my he probably brought more mice
[00:34:07] It is funny that you got a little five-hole situation going on
[00:34:11] Yeah, that's what it's stop and I were joking around a funny mom's last night
[00:34:15] But how um that we have mouse in my apartment. We have these little jew holocaust time to go
[00:34:20] Gotta get crissed off waltz in there. Yeah, we know his motherfuckers out. We got a hunt these hunt these bastards
[00:34:27] Yeah, you better not have a shoshana in there. There's a there's a mob about stav and his people called 5.5
[00:34:38] Fucking laugh wishes. I love a nice five listen 5.5 is the base we could get up to six times
[00:34:50] What yeah, I'm five five soft and hard. I'm six
[00:34:54] It only goes up a half a show or not. That would be awesome dude. I would love that actually
[00:35:04] That would be perfect for me dude. I just need to fucking show off the little hog
[00:35:21] Yeah, I need to get a nice that was that was fourth of july what now six years ago?
[00:35:25] We go up on the roof. Yeah take pictures a little photo with the sausage come halfway through. I'm just enjoying the fireworks
[00:35:34] Just sitting there like shivering. I'm cold as shit. My dick is out. I'm holding sparkle
[00:35:43] We're on the movie with Peter Muth, right? Yeah, I love that guy. Yeah, what happened? He lost a bunch of way
[00:35:49] Yeah, it's not so much away. Stop drinking. Yeah, I was a bunch of way. Yes, she's going good dude
[00:35:54] I you came over to take pictures. It's like Thor and my former D with D
[00:35:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you to get naked and you like moved your leg and I was like that's your penis
[00:36:04] Yeah, sorry that you covered it with the little cape. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well opera. I didn't want I didn't want you to get too fucking horny
[00:36:15] Trying to give himself the fucking I don't play myself off. That was a terrible story. It's all right, man
[00:36:21] Well, my my Terminator story was very good. You're coming at this the whole wrong way. There's no wrong. There's no bad stories
[00:36:29] Yeah, there's just there is just taking an hour
[00:36:32] I'm gonna try and name all of the different flavors of the Quaker rice cake
[00:36:38] Okay, our mouth is sure apple. There's the apple apple
[00:36:41] One's but those are the old stave those are the ones I remember those are the ones that one does
[00:36:46] But yeah, so but now I'm getting nostalgic for the old school. Yeah, you still need to be a couple of cheese
[00:36:50] They had the cheese now. It's all over the place. They got fucking they got like pop movie theater popcorn boner. Right. Wait, wait, Quaker rice cakes
[00:36:59] Yes, dude. Yeah, that's it. That's a vestige of me being a fat child in Weight Watchers
[00:37:04] Yeah, it's healthy. Do you actually did Weight Watchers with my mother? Yes, and so how does that work? It's a point to sweet
[00:37:10] It's a point system and they gave you like a they tell you kind of what you can and can't eat roughly
[00:37:15] And just weigh in every week. Did you ever do sweating to the oldies with your mother? Absolutely. My mom loved that thing. She loves
[00:37:23] Richard Simmons was fucking out and about in my house
[00:37:27] I literally did sweating to the oldies when I was like four years old with my mother
[00:37:34] Dude, there's a great podcast. He like disappeared and people are trying to find their like pockets down
[00:37:41] Uh, they were chubby. Yeah, hefty, but you were the only one on Weight Watchers. Nick is a little tubby
[00:37:46] Well, Nick's gotten actually in great shape now
[00:37:49] weddings coming up. So he's kind of like he's Jack now
[00:37:52] Yeah, or he was I haven't seen him in a while, but he was looking fucking good. Less and solid take your shirt off
[00:37:57] Shout out to Nick. Yeah, it's not this Nick. Oh, yeah. No, my brother
[00:38:01] Take your shirt out. They would never compliment
[00:38:08] Yeah, let's go around the room and say something we like about each person. No, we're not doing that
[00:38:13] We already did that. I said you look kind of Jewish and Canadian
[00:38:17] That was nice. That's a good comp and I said
[00:38:21] That was a nice compliment. I said stop copying my mustache
[00:38:27] About that. He's with the audio puddle. Love our audience doesn't realize is I gave stop a couple pieces of Toblerone before the show
[00:38:35] And outside of that we don't really speak
[00:38:38] We have a system down. That's friendship. That's friend
[00:38:41] I smiled at the Toblerone and I think in that moment Nick understood what he means to me
[00:38:50] Because I've been talking about it for a while. I've been meaning to try it myself
[00:38:53] I'm right. I could have eaten that entire thing last night, but I said, you know what?
[00:38:57] I'll save a couple of days. I'll save a
[00:39:00] Amount for stop that is not an insulting amount right but right
[00:39:04] Well, it doesn't feel like I'm enabling him. Yes, but also he gets to participate in the dark chocolate table room. It's very kind
[00:39:12] Yeah, it was very good. Well, it's diplomatic
[00:39:19] Yes, in fact in some ways it's less kind
[00:39:23] If you were to just give something no, it's thoughtful you're thinking of your friend. Yes, that's true. I brought these calculate
[00:39:30] It's not there's a difference. I was due for a treat. Yeah, and the outer index friendship algorithm. He's like
[00:39:48] Balance out the sheet. Yeah, he's got a he has got a program on his apple watch that tells him nice or bad today
[00:39:55] Nice or mean I would love that. Yeah, Apple made a little
[00:40:09] It's a devil in an angel. Yeah exactly. It's that simple
[00:40:13] It's a one or zero. Mm-hmm. There it is. That's right. That's right brother
[00:40:19] Uh, but yeah, no, but I was the only fat one true growing up and you know, it's brutal
[00:40:24] Huh, I had a really nice there was one summer. I think it was like sixth grade
[00:40:29] Summer sixth grade. I was playing I was doing Weight Watchers and doing well playing basketball all the time
[00:40:35] And then my dad was like and I was on a good groove
[00:40:38] And then my dad was like we're going to Greece for six weeks
[00:40:42] And I was like what and then I just got fat as shit
[00:40:45] Like I got like I get like 30 pounds that summer because it was like we just would live in Athens
[00:40:50] Like it wasn't even like that much of a vacation. Yeah, we would just like hang out in a city watch
[00:40:55] Literally American TV with Greek subtitles and just eat fucking four gyros a day
[00:41:01] Like an ice cream every day. It was fucking sick, but I got fat as hell went out and so when you say
[00:41:06] I was like fucking 12 dude. I got fetish. That's that's an alarm
[00:41:13] It was 20. I think it's 12 of you's because 30 pounds now was like nothing. Yeah, I mean it was still
[00:41:18] It's not as much but you were tall too. Yeah, I was really tall back. You were really shrunk
[00:41:27] Dude literally that was fucking honestly my dad ruined my life in that summer
[00:41:31] I was doing dude the old ladies at Weight Watchers loved me. I was down like seven pounds. Oh, that's so fun
[00:41:37] I still remember it dude. That was a great that was a work in the first part of that summer was a great summer for me
[00:41:42] I would go to the line and the fucking Weight Watchers was right by the library. I'd go to the library. Fuck him
[00:41:46] Oh, Weight Watchers is a place. Yeah, I thought it was just like a
[00:41:50] I thought it was a program. I think it's a place. You have meetings. I thought you got shakes in the mail
[00:41:55] You go you go. No way. It's the duchess does the thing. It's kind of like fat. It's kind of like fat
[00:42:02] It's it's it's it's fucking Diana's sister. It is. Yeah. Yeah, the bitch from the big fergie
[00:42:08] The bitch of war a fat fergie. Not sex right. Yes. She's weight watchers. Yeah, she was weight watchers
[00:42:13] Then she was like Westfield shopping centers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The redhead lady. Wow. I fucked her
[00:42:19] I actually fucked her. I actually fucked her before you. I fucked that's how she fucked her first. I think her husband fucked the kid
[00:42:27] I fucked his husband and your oh, that's your husband. I think so
[00:42:31] So she never I found a man who's actually the kid and I beat him up and his wife had to fuck me
[00:42:35] Wow, and now I'm the king of England. That's crazy because I actually just fucked her for free
[00:42:38] I don't have to do anything. I fucked one of my cock. I fucked the queen of England. Now I'm the king of England
[00:42:45] A lot of people don't know that but it's true. That's awesome congrats, man
[00:42:49] Did you see I saw a tiktok that was like uh
[00:42:52] They said that uh harry or whatever the redheaded one
[00:42:56] That Diana had like a fucking riding coach
[00:42:59] That was a fucking red like a sexy redhead and they showed pictures of him and harry and it's a hundred percent that guy's kid
[00:43:05] 100 percent that guy's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really funny
[00:43:09] Princess die was getting knotted inside by her fucking by the help by the help good for her good for her for sure
[00:43:15] She was a babe and a half. She was all right. You think she's all right. They're so blown how hot she was no to women and gays
[00:43:22] Women who gave people the right so she was like fun. Yeah, women and gays were like so hot gorgeous. Yeah, she's tragic
[00:43:32] Why do you win these? They really love tragedy. They love horrible things
[00:43:37] She's tragic like she's oh fuck. Hey, shut that remember. This is a pro dody fi-ed podcast
[00:43:44] Yeah, we got a fuck turn fuck like a hundred other hot women. I love dody fi
[00:43:50] All right, man. He rest in peace dude. He's the goat dude
[00:43:53] He's the he's the pharaoh dude. I'm about to yeah. Hell yeah. Where were you? I'm gonna make him die died
[00:44:02] I don't fucking I don't know why downstairs my mom is crying. Yeah, I was never even mad her
[00:44:06] I was at my grandma. I was like me and my mom my mom were crying. I'm like, what the fuck?
[00:44:11] I was like who cares. I was like, we're a mayor
[00:44:13] Yeah, that's right. I was a driver of England. I literally thought we were supposed to hate British people
[00:44:28] Time fuck it. Yeah, nice the education system failed you so much
[00:44:33] That was also when I thought like I didn't I never heard the word paparazzi before
[00:44:38] And so I didn't I could not I literally was imagining a battalion people made out of pepperoni
[00:44:42] Yeah, I don't know my grandparents else too. Yeah, yeah, those are grandma days
[00:44:51] The best day. Yeah, my mom and my grandma crying about Christopher Reeves one time every something like TV special
[00:44:58] I was sad because I loved Superman. Yeah. I don't I don't remember the accent
[00:45:02] I just remember him on TV being like I can still live
[00:45:05] Yeah, that was really sad. You know, did you see my mom be like what the fuck a horse?
[00:45:11] Did you see the worst got Superman? That'd be like if I got sure a lot of this, you know people be like oh, that's so sad. Why?
[00:45:19] Yeah, literally why would it be sad if I got paralyzed? Well, you're not super men. Yes. I am you don't mean part of I fucked the queen of England
[00:45:29] You're no super men. Finally your physicality. Honestly, if you got paralyzed
[00:45:33] That would be better for you because you could just tap into the fucking mainframe directly dude
[00:45:38] You could just be one with you just be a riff machine. Yeah, just real hard. Just I'm saying he's completely free of physical form
[00:45:45] I'm retired, dude, but you could get back to the riffin. I don't want to yeah. I don't want to get back to anything
[00:45:50] That's true. Actually, you're actually free. It's better. I'd say if I was paralyzed
[00:45:54] I just fucking spit the fucking breathing tube out of my mouth
[00:46:08] Like a professor's lair no, so what I should get is a jacket with leather elbow
[00:46:21] Today everyone to get your syllabus out it's upn from the 2000s 101
[00:46:30] Just going around the NYU library just rubbing my pipe on Asian women's nipples
[00:46:38] She can't she can't call the police because she doesn't speak English
[00:47:00] Can I can I light a smoke no cigarettes smell bad no fucking cigarettes in here. All right, well, you know
[00:47:17] Fuck that dude. Take it out of your mouth right now. I'd like to smoke some polio. Yeah, why not?
[00:47:29] It's about yeah pipes smell so much better than cigarettes great. I'd so I'd told this
[00:47:35] This story probably when we were in Montreal, but I went to a pornography
[00:47:43] Three old men Ian. I'm telling you this story you want that
[00:47:47] He could stop took my lighter cover off. I don't have it. Yeah, you do. He loves it. I don't have it stuff. How dare you
[00:47:57] Don't have anything. I believe you look at my hand stop becomes an up close man
[00:48:10] This is pretty burly it is kind of too big I know I was thinking about taking the bear off
[00:48:18] Oh anyway tell the story. Oh Ian. Yeah, so I saw like these three old men in the porn theater
[00:48:25] Wait, you went to a porn theater? Yeah, I went with the ex-girlfriend
[00:48:38] You wish dude, you're not getting any ideas. Yeah, dude. It was crazy dude
[00:48:42] There was like there were three old men like in their 80s in the in the mezzanine of the theater
[00:48:49] Right and there's one in the middle was getting sucked by the guy next to him. That's awesome
[00:48:54] Yes, and the other guy crazy about that is like how much of this is porn theater and how much of it is just french canadians
[00:49:01] I don't know. It's yeah. Yeah, like you could go into a Panera brand
[00:49:08] To dress like clowns of all each other. I feel like they're less they're less wait. Was it on st. Laurent street?
[00:49:20] Tell my son I identify these guys on those three details. So what was what did you have a hat with a little bobble on it? Yeah
[00:49:28] He he was in textiles in the forties. Oh jock
[00:49:35] Yeah, so he was getting so he then the guy in the middle was jacking the guy next to him
[00:49:39] On the other side the one that wasn't sucking him and then the guy that was getting jacked was kissing him
[00:49:45] Like delicately on the neck. Yes, and it was like a real-life lemon party and it was mesmerizing. I couldn't look away
[00:49:51] I think I watched for like for like a solid
[00:49:54] Like 30 to 60 seconds he came into like glasses. There's the guy in the video called the lucky here the lucky Pierre
[00:50:03] Yeah, it's a great name. I was him now. Did was there anybody else?
[00:50:06] I had a cleaner theater. There was all man
[00:50:13] It was all old man those guys are so sad and it was straight porn and they were so straight porn because I think that oh even
[00:50:21] I think that back in the day like in early not early but in like gay cruising culture they go to straight
[00:50:29] porn theaters cover and suck off straight guys while they were watching straight porn in the theater
[00:50:36] And then I think that those guys really add up. I think those I think what you're saying is gay man went to straight theaters to suck each other off
[00:50:45] They were straight guys whatever so the guy you know a guy watching it they'd like cruise and try to find a guy that was watching it and then suck him
[00:50:53] Well, he was what you know what I guess if listen I guess you're jacking off. It's dark
[00:50:57] Someone starts sucking your dick, but it's clear that all those guys were like in their 80s because they just don't understand how to use the computer
[00:51:07] Right. Well, they still have to free from my cruising culture
[00:51:10] I think they're doing it to have a good time those guys all could have sucked each other off and they're fucking you know
[00:51:14] Yeah, there's something about the living facility. There's a book called time square red time square blue
[00:51:19] About all of the kind of only bookies read
[00:51:25] This way Ian could be a professor of yeah cruising
[00:51:31] No, but there's like this whole culture about it where it was like uh these guys are developed
[00:51:36] These like unspoken relationships much akin to nick and stop the table around relax with a kin like an unspoken thing
[00:51:43] Like they just see each other and suck and then leave yeah, yeah, yeah, then shake hands
[00:51:48] Yeah, and then they wear firm hand shake together again like a certain time every week or whatever and like
[00:51:54] You know, you know, juliani push them out to the you know, west of the highway
[00:52:02] uh different theaters yeah still still popping on 8th avenue 8th avenue the rambles up in uh
[00:52:09] Central park is like a spot. I thought that's for rent station. I thought that's for calling the police on a black guy
[00:52:16] Trying to bird wash. Oh, is that sucking someone's a bird? Oh, yeah, what's that guy's gay to the black guy?
[00:52:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe he was sucking her dog's dick
[00:52:28] She was like please stop. I'm gonna call the police
[00:52:46] Central park is nice around there like the north side where it's like kind of wild. Yeah, it's like foresty
[00:52:52] Are you still up going in it going it's nice up there blizzard hits you go to central park water in the woods. That's cute
[00:52:57] It's beautiful dude right I use it dude during the pandemic on sunday mornings
[00:53:01] I would just ride my bike all the way up through central park. Oh, yeah, it was beautiful man
[00:53:07] Yeah, that's cute as fuck bro. I don't think a lot of people know that central park is nice
[00:53:19] Should I move to central park? Yeah, dude. You should just live in the park like like little big ears or barriers
[00:53:28] Truffle hunting like a Homer Simpson welcome mad bathing suit. Yeah
[00:53:33] That's not a bad idea. Yeah, I live in the fucking
[00:53:36] What's the there's a little restaurant there, right? I would tab it on the green. I live on tabbing on the green. Yeah regular there. Mm-hmm
[00:53:46] Should I get a fuck maybe I'll live in uh
[00:53:49] The upper east side like an old like a fucking old like a bitch from the housewives
[00:53:54] This is hard to live in. I just started walking back in the Airbnb and like graves end or something for like a month
[00:54:02] South brook was great to just see like uh if if you know move it basically, you know ran a place for a month
[00:54:10] Here which grave probably can't it's just a place. Yeah, I know it's where lmb
[00:54:15] Spamoni Gardens is yeah, it's like near kony. Yeah, it's like an Italian Chinese part of Brooklyn. Yeah, that'd be great
[00:54:23] Yeah, because it's pretty far away. Yeah, but you're still in the city and I could probably afford a house there
[00:54:29] You should yeah, why not what's stopping you you're still in the city. Would you rent this place out?
[00:54:36] Yeah, but you could you know what's in definitely sublet this y-o
[00:54:45] Why would he do that? You got to keep your money moving
[00:54:53] That's dude that'd be sick you go to spamoni gardens all the time
[00:54:57] Hey kony island in the winter beautiful
[00:55:07] That's kind of honestly that's kind of how I feel about a story honestly what it's just like kind of far away a little fucking
[00:55:13] Yeah, but the equivalent in queens would be like moving like rego park of fucking jamaica. Yeah, that's just too much
[00:55:20] I just feel like slipped in rego park for a while by the cost yeah, but feel it's good like just fucking he can just live
[00:55:27] And he could live in the middle of new jersey
[00:55:30] This is great. Yeah, it's like I walked to Costco. Yeah
[00:55:35] Others are Costco by me brothers along on the city Costco. It's a beautiful Costco. Yeah, dude right by the water
[00:55:40] It's a beautiful view. I did fucking ask it there. I was crying on the fucking bench at Costco on your birthday
[00:55:46] It was one of the best days of my life. No, it was during the pandemic where I was like going crazy
[00:55:53] And I was just like I have to leave my house
[00:55:55] And I just took some mushrooms and I was just like I wrote a bike around town
[00:56:00] I was I took a city bike. You're crying tears of joy. There were tears of joy. Yeah, there's just joy
[00:56:05] I was thinking of how much I love my mother
[00:56:07] Oh, and then about women in my life that I've loved and then I was like this is you know what?
[00:56:13] I'm glad that happened. Yeah, like I was having like a retrospective of women that have loved me
[00:56:19] The last time last time I did mushrooms. I think I went to some gas station bathroom and I left and there was like blood on the door
[00:56:27] I got on my hands and I'm like this is fucking
[00:56:34] Yeah, dude if something bad happened to me while I was on actually you know what that same day
[00:56:40] I got a then I got a red light camera ticket. Wow. You're driving. Yeah
[00:56:45] You drive it on mushrooms. Yeah, it's easy
[00:56:51] I mean that's a memory that I can't drink anymore because yeah, I couldn't stop driving
[00:56:58] I think it really is you when you're talking like
[00:57:01] Eat five grams of mushrooms drive around once a year sure that's the equivalent of drinking driving all the time
[00:57:10] Yeah, right so you get it hanging out in one. You just get it out of your system
[00:57:13] I used to drink a drive if you're like you're honking at clouds
[00:57:24] Get out of the way mr. Rainbow over to lose it, bud
[00:57:27] Dude I used to drink a drive and throw this is I don't know what I was thinking
[00:57:31] But I read lights just turning like indian women doing belly dance
[00:57:42] There you go, yeah, there it is. Yes, and a good guy, man. Yeah, you're welcome
[00:57:47] What was what were you doing? We're sorry
[00:57:50] You're about to say about drunk driving. Oh
[00:57:52] What do what I would like throw glass bottles out the sunroof
[00:57:57] In case I crashed my car off the side of the road so people could find it like breadcrumbs hilarious
[00:58:05] Yeah, it would make sense find your car
[00:58:10] No, no like off a ravine or set like off into the woods. They would follow the broken glass. Yeah. Yeah, that's smart
[00:58:25] What's been going on and what do you got going on? You said you're going to skanks fest. Yes, dude definitely check in out his skanks fest
[00:58:35] Fucking you're gonna be in the woods monday and tuesday. Yes
[00:58:38] I've put in my my spots at the cellar and I'm gonna say no
[00:58:43] That's what I like to hear hum to the woods with you. That's what I like to hear brother. Yes
[00:58:46] You catch the stronger jacket. Oh, come on dude. Shella my jacket. Yeah, they're so nice
[00:58:53] Heather suck my dick dude. I got I got Samson a little ghost buster costume for halloween
[00:59:01] That's fucking cute dude. Nick you should put up no shells for the cat to hop on
[00:59:07] No like carpeted shells. Yeah, I have him in my apartment. Remember you came over checked them out. Yeah. Yeah, they're great
[00:59:13] They love being up high. I came over. I mean I saw them. I didn't come over to check out the cat show
[00:59:19] Now you came over specifically check them out. You're like, I think I want to see them at the time too
[00:59:23] You were in the middle of assembly you had the cat take over the apartment. There was a giant wheel in there all still is
[00:59:34] Yeah, nice dude the whole place. Oh my gals moving in the fucking upstairs in the downstairs. Yeah, man
[00:59:44] Seriously, that's fucking nice gentlemen in the city, huh?
[00:59:48] You're a proper city gentlemen. I am man. What do you use the downstairs longer than I was in Delaware?
[00:59:55] It's fucking wild crazy, right? Oh, yeah, you went to college here. Yeah, it's 2003
[01:00:01] Crazy not even here for september 11th fucking post not even two years later and everyone I knew from Delaware was like
[01:00:07] Are you crazy? Don't try don't try and get september 11th valor. What came in 2003?
[01:00:13] No, he's making fun of the Delaware. Yeah, nobody everyone thought there was gonna be like another terrorist attack. That's what he's saying
[01:00:19] He's brave. Oh coming. Yeah, I would just stand at the base
[01:00:26] Bring it on. You should see me when they tried to bring that mosque in
[01:00:29] Yeah, Racine was telling me the other day that his aunt wouldn't go to
[01:00:41] That would be the only form of successful activism in the last
[01:00:50] Yeah, is there a ground zero mosque? No, that would be awesome. I built the freedom tower
[01:00:55] Yeah, it was that it was that war. I'm also a big mosque
[01:01:05] The tall the tall is building in the york. They're building a skyscraper the tops of freedom tower. Wow. No, it's uh, it's like a it's like a woke
[01:01:13] skyscraper. They're like it's a black-owned
[01:01:17] The press release for the thing is like for too long black people have been locked out of the skyline of New York city
[01:01:22] And it's like what is this? What is it?
[01:01:29] Money laundering scams for fucking people from Dubai exactly yeah or like a couple guys
[01:01:36] Yeah, just because one of them happens to be black
[01:01:39] It's not like black people get to own those as a community
[01:01:42] That'd be so funny if black people try to like get an office in there like we don't think so well
[01:01:47] You can apply you can now you can just apply that fucking bullshit to literally anything. Yeah, it's great
[01:01:52] It's not enough black kids being molested by the catholic church
[01:02:00] Change that and people are so brain damaged would be like well, I guess it is good
[01:02:07] But if you know, I mean they should be represented it is true man
[01:02:13] That's why we got to get Ian to be a catholic priest. Yeah, we know his tastes and men
[01:02:18] I was I wanted to when I was younger. Oh boy the chocolate church
[01:02:27] And you're like you were you were looking for a cure, huh?
[01:02:30] It's a nice pipe. Yeah, that's a great pipe. Where'd you get it?
[01:02:37] Nat Sherman or whatever they went out of business. It was place on 42nd Street
[01:02:44] And get pipes corn cob pipes handmade pipes dude fried chicken is what you would have get at the Amish market
[01:02:51] Oh, yeah, they got some of the best what the fuck was that like conversation?
[01:02:55] We overheard at the Amish market remember that me and George
[01:02:58] I remember the conversation was like construction workers saying something really fucking funny. I don't remember
[01:03:03] I'll ask George. Yeah, but I don't remember it. That was a great day. That was a good s day
[01:03:09] That fucking guy complaining about his wife
[01:03:11] Oh my what happened? What happened? What happened? That was the same trip. Oh, that was a great day
[01:03:16] What happened we go to fuck we went to the Amish market got some fried chicken hung out something happened construction
[01:03:22] Where he's I can't remember remember that in a bag of George's house
[01:03:25] And I guess George's who's that George's dad George's dad my friend George was running a basically a halfway home
[01:03:32] For cucked divorced greek man. Yeah, there's this old greek guy that his wife
[01:03:38] Like he just shows up at like two o'clock in the morning and he's reading over like like a summit like a divorce
[01:03:46] We were all watching like we were and we were watching like we did we watched two straight guys that day too that video where the two guys
[01:03:55] Two straight buds two straight buds dp a blow up
[01:03:59] Like straight dudes. Yeah, and then we watched I think Terminator we were watching some movie or something
[01:04:03] And this greek guy comes in and he's like reading over the like literally like the deposition or summons or whatever the fuck it was
[01:04:10] And he was like no, I will you you will not take my kids from me
[01:04:17] It's a 2am. There's like five and it was like me nik George
[01:04:20] I think a couple of other friends were there. He's like he's like it could not concern him any less that we're sitting like
[01:04:26] 20 feet away. He's just right watching gay point
[01:04:40] She will not take my money. Yeah, it was so fucking funny dude
[01:04:44] We're literally just like there's like five
[01:04:46] 21 year old strangers on the couch or whatever we were young as shit
[01:04:50] And it's just like he could doesn't give a fuck dude yelling on the phone in the middle of the fucking night
[01:04:59] His wife like his wife went on vacation and she like fucked like some like the village like cop or something
[01:05:06] At the beach your phone's ringing. Sorry. Oh play it dude. There's a who's calling your girlfriend
[01:05:12] No, can we talk to her my voice over agent?
[01:05:22] My agents they dropped me everybody. Oh my representation fired me. Oh, yeah
[01:05:29] Yeah, you're better off if you want to pass my name on
[01:05:32] You would have talked to Tracy. Yeah, Tracy was up. I think my fucking commercial agent dropped me
[01:05:39] Because I didn't want to do any gas fucking auditions
[01:05:43] I know it's just everything they give you so fucking embarrassing. I know I
[01:05:48] Like voice over shit voice over shit. It's fun because it's like it's no pressure at all
[01:05:52] Yeah, yeah, and you're gonna have fun with you boys over Z because you said fucking recorded
[01:05:56] Yeah commercials are fucking gay because it's like they want to put you in like scatchers and like
[01:06:02] You know like I need a fat guy to be embarrassed. Yeah, right for this tampon commercial
[01:06:07] I did one for heineken last year where I had to be like a nervous guy
[01:06:11] Hey, how'd you do that dude? I know you do well in kmr. You're a good commercial actor. Yeah. Yeah, you'd like you to get in there
[01:06:19] I yeah, yeah, because you're a caricature. Yeah, but I dude there there haven't been any like auditions for that or I haven't gotten any
[01:06:27] Everything's on zoom. Nothing's in person. None of us are getting commercials ever
[01:06:32] No, I seriously know because like every commercial now is just like a Chinese guy and his black husband
[01:06:37] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's no more white guys than commercials ever
[01:06:42] And you got it and it's you have to wonder what cheerios is up to because they were the start of it. Yes
[01:06:48] Cheers all the commercials now just a baby in a bathroom being sexually assaulted
[01:06:53] While like eating cheers variation of cuties. Honestly. That was the one real social change that I observed after George Floyd
[01:07:01] Was that every commercial became everyone I said it makes became like yeah gay gay and mixed
[01:07:07] Yeah, yeah, that's really all that I don't really pay attention to commercials unless it's a cell phone company and some woman that
[01:07:15] Yeah, that's true. That's the problem with watching sports. You fucking see commercials. Yeah
[01:07:21] That lady went on the news and she's like people are harassing me because they want to fuck me
[01:07:26] No, I didn't see that. Yeah, that was she was it brought her to tears learn how to take a compliment tuts
[01:07:31] That's right. Yeah. Well, maybe you can get your tits cut off
[01:07:34] That's a great point. I'm like you don't like it. Maybe stop being in commercial. Yeah, it's so true
[01:07:42] I can't I'm not being in commercial. I just I got an angle for a Fox News show. Oh my god
[01:07:47] I would love that you should be that you should be the Conan O'Brien to gut-filled fucking
[01:07:52] J Leno dude. He should be the late the edgy late late show on Fox news with the new late night wards
[01:07:59] Mullen vs. I know people people are like, you know, they they'll say that you know, you don't believe any of that shit
[01:08:04] You're just doing it for money or whatever you'd be like, yeah, absolutely who cares
[01:08:09] So do something about it when you cut your tits off
[01:08:14] No, I don't care. I don't give a fuck well
[01:08:19] And you got anything you want to plug chief? Oh man my instagram. I animal 6-9 there is
[01:08:26] Uh, thank you to everyone that's kind and say you pronounce it. So I animal that's I thought it was
[01:08:32] Animal I always say animal. It's animal, but nobody knows how to spell that so it's I animal. Okay. It's animal
[01:08:41] Name in high school. Oh, yeah, yeah, and my mom got me an animal. I guess it makes kind of it sounds really it sounds more
[01:08:49] Natural with like a middle ax animal. He just sounds like you're saying animal because I used to eat like an animal
[01:08:55] Yeah, that's on the cross country team. That's yeah
[01:08:59] Not because you had sex with men like an animal because you fucked the dog on the cross
[01:09:04] I kept losing races because I go to the woods to fuck
[01:09:12] Yeah, I got a bunch of rosette coming out of
[01:09:18] It's up north. It's maybe like two hours
[01:09:20] Is where I saw the day I always get confused because there's Sarasota, Florida. Yes, so Saratoga Springs
[01:09:26] I'm like I might have no idea what that is. Yeah, it's like
[01:09:30] Palm Springs is that the one is it near the hanger falls? They have a lake? No, no, it's not
[01:09:41] Come on. Yeah, where's where's where's it? I tried to get some voice over. Where's it? I think Saratoga Springs is near. Oh
[01:10:00] What's it called? I was doing that. I was I was this girl's house. She had a globe and I was like just spinning it whatever
[01:10:06] I did not tell it. It's like it's like in front of you as a globe
[01:10:14] And put my finger on it and you have to say the name of the country
[01:10:22] You spent your life trying to get people canceled on social media
[01:10:27] But now you're gonna say now you're gonna say the name of this country gonna say it in the chat
[01:10:31] You're gonna say it out to your black boss on zoom
[01:10:41] Fuck well, thanks for coming Ian. Thank you for having me fellas. It was so nice to hang out again
[01:10:46] Thank you everybody for being so nice and coming up at shows and digging it and everything. I really appreciate it
[01:10:51] We love you buddy. Yeah, I love you man. Thanks for coming on