[00:00:00] Okay. Oh baby, we're in there.

[00:00:07] The time to suck my dick is now.

[00:00:10] It's time to suck dick at the Toyota Dick Sucking event.

[00:00:13] It's Toyota Dick Suckathon.

[00:00:15] It's Toyota Dick Suckathon.

[00:00:17] And here we are with hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, hard ass, hard ass dick.

[00:00:22] Something sounds a little off.

[00:00:24] It sounds like there's an echo.

[00:00:26] You got echo?

[00:00:27] Maybe it's just the room?

[00:00:28] No, it could be, let's see, where are you?

[00:00:31] That's down, that's off.

[00:00:35] Nice.

[00:00:36] I don't know what, no.

[00:00:38] I think maybe the room?

[00:00:39] No, it's the, oh yeah, there's a room.

[00:00:41] But it's also these, these are, these are a little shitty.

[00:00:46] Nice.

[00:00:47] The mics with my dick?

[00:00:48] No, this just needs to be, bring a,

[00:00:51] highs and mids up a bit, and then take.

[00:00:56] Take some of that out.

[00:00:59] Okay, perfect.

[00:01:00] We did it.

[00:01:01] Sounds, exactly.

[00:01:02] It sounds, it sounds maybe worse.

[00:01:03] It sounds probably worse than it could before.

[00:01:06] Whatever, man.

[00:01:07] But hey, you know, you want us, you feel like, that, actually that, that helps a little bit.

[00:01:11] That right there?

[00:01:12] Yeah, that does.

[00:01:13] That actually does help.

[00:01:14] There we go.

[00:01:15] All right.

[00:01:16] All right.

[00:01:17] Well, we're, we're first day in the cabin.

[00:01:18] First day in the cabin, folks.

[00:01:19] This is probably the fourth week of February 2022.

[00:01:24] Dude, if only.

[00:01:26] Don't tease me like that.

[00:01:27] It's going to happen.

[00:01:28] Yeah.

[00:01:29] It's going to happen and you're going to be mad about it.

[00:01:31] And guess what?

[00:01:32] Yeah, but you're going to end up, you're going to have to deal with it because we're going

[00:01:35] to make sure that the vacation episodes are the only ones that are good.

[00:01:38] Yeah.

[00:01:39] And we've been doing our part so far with the ones in New York.

[00:01:42] Yeah.

[00:01:43] We've made that.

[00:01:45] We've set those horrific, the bar solo.

[00:01:48] Yeah.

[00:01:49] That these will be better.

[00:01:50] We're only going to come back to do like a Chappo style, like election coverage show.

[00:01:54] That would be awesome.

[00:01:55] Where I dress up like Hillary Clinton.

[00:01:58] Yeah.

[00:01:59] And I'm like, Pokemon, go.

[00:02:01] That'd be so funny.

[00:02:02] Then like the 2028 election.

[00:02:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:02:05] It'd still be like Pokemon go to the polarities with dumb bitch.

[00:02:08] Just like that one person in the audience.

[00:02:12] It's Andrew Yang's daughter that's running to avenge his death after Curtis Sleewa.

[00:02:18] It's a little show.

[00:02:20] Yeah, Choke slams him and throws him on a subway.

[00:02:22] subway tracks.

[00:02:23] Yep.

[00:02:24] Because his plan was to save him and show what a good guy he was.

[00:02:27] Yeah.

[00:02:28] But he fucked up.

[00:02:29] So there's no chance that slime ball wins.

[00:02:32] I don't think so.

[00:02:33] As cool as funny as he is.

[00:02:35] He lives in a, I think a studio with his wife in like literally 12 cats.

[00:02:39] You can't be a hat.

[00:02:40] You can't be a guy when a hat's trying to be here.

[00:02:43] Did you see the video of him saying there's a mayoral debate where he's, you're like,

[00:02:47] tell us one thing about you that people might be surprised by.

[00:02:51] And he's like electronic dance music.

[00:02:53] I love it.

[00:02:54] When I come home from campaigning, I put it on to chill out.

[00:02:58] EDM.

[00:02:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:03:01] I saw Eric Adams give an interview about how he was getting pussy while he was the Brooklyn

[00:03:06] borough president.

[00:03:07] Really?

[00:03:08] Yeah.

[00:03:09] From who?

[00:03:10] From the borough hose.

[00:03:11] He was saying when you're in a position of power, you get pussy.

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:15] And then I think so.

[00:03:17] This might be fake.

[00:03:18] I don't know, but I'm going to, I'm going to hope he said it.

[00:03:20] Yeah, I hope he said that also.

[00:03:21] Oh, it's text.

[00:03:22] It was text.

[00:03:23] Oh, yeah, you can't.

[00:03:25] I was, I thought it was real to Alec Baldwin, Donald Trump update.

[00:03:30] It's not.

[00:03:31] I don't think it is.

[00:03:32] It's too good.

[00:03:33] I don't want to see a one, I like from one person.

[00:03:35] The psycho killer Alec Baldwin has killed a woman.

[00:03:38] Oh, no.

[00:03:39] I think he let one go today.

[00:03:41] Oh, really?

[00:03:42] Well, you guys are listening to this one month ago.

[00:03:44] Yeah, about a month ago before we were all dead.

[00:03:48] I believe so.

[00:03:49] Let me fucking find it here.

[00:03:51] And by the way, folks, Adam, we were supposed to get to the cabin two hours and 20 minutes

[00:03:57] ago.

[00:03:58] Yeah.

[00:03:59] I was running a little late, but I texted everyone and I gave it to the check-in.

[00:04:01] Stop bought a television.

[00:04:02] Stop at the buy-a-tech because there's no television in the cabin.

[00:04:05] This is a very nice cabin, but they didn't have a TV.

[00:04:07] So, you know, I'm-

[00:04:08] We don't expect you guys to go to your job and not be able to come home and watch some

[00:04:11] TV and teach, so watch some two.

[00:04:14] I'm gonna come here.

[00:04:15] I'm gonna be here.

[00:04:16] Record 14 or 15 podcasts and not watch television for four days.

[00:04:21] We're putting it.

[00:04:22] We're doing it.

[00:04:23] Everyone always complains that, you know, it's like, we bitch in mode and we don't have

[00:04:26] a real job.

[00:04:27] We don't know why it's a work-reel job.

[00:04:29] Well, guess what?

[00:04:30] We're doing eight hour days.

[00:04:31] So eight episodes a day.

[00:04:33] We have a real job now.

[00:04:36] Be careful what you wish for, motherfucker.

[00:04:37] And we're gonna be as good at podcasting as you are at fucking making spreadsheets.

[00:04:42] There's probably gonna be one hour that's pretty good.

[00:04:45] Yeah.

[00:04:46] Uh-oh.

[00:04:47] Look who it is.

[00:04:48] Look.

[00:04:49] Look who decided to come podcast.

[00:04:55] And he brought coffees.

[00:04:57] That's good.

[00:04:58] That's nice.

[00:04:59] Oh, three coffees, I see.

[00:05:03] That's awesome.

[00:05:04] Oh, fuck.

[00:05:05] Do we have to pause this to give him a mic now?

[00:05:06] I'm gonna be done.

[00:05:07] It's recording on this channel.

[00:05:08] You're a fucking, you're a genius.

[00:05:10] Yeah.

[00:05:11] Alright, well, take your time.

[00:05:13] Take your time.

[00:05:14] Settle in.

[00:05:15] Get settled.

[00:05:16] Adam has to get his vagina.

[00:05:18] His breast.

[00:05:19] His, oh, his, his, his, his, his pussy loon.

[00:05:27] No, not his vagina something.

[00:05:29] His actual vagina.

[00:05:30] Oh, yeah.

[00:05:31] Yeah.

[00:05:32] I thought he'd maybe his vagina.

[00:05:33] No, no, no.

[00:05:34] You know, he keeps his pussy in his car.

[00:05:36] That's awesome.

[00:05:37] Yeah.

[00:05:38] And it's his wife's car too, which she drives him.

[00:05:41] She drove him here.

[00:05:42] He rides in a baby seat.

[00:05:44] With a dildo on me.

[00:05:46] He's in a baby seat.

[00:05:48] Yeah, he's in a, well, he's definitely in a baby dick seat.

[00:05:51] Yeah, he rides a baby seat.

[00:05:53] Yeah, he's up for it.

[00:05:54] But his dick is in a little fucking...

[00:05:55] What are those called booster seats?

[00:05:56] There's straps that come out of his asshole.

[00:05:57] The little straps that clip onto him.

[00:05:59] I knew a baby seat that his dick sits in.

[00:06:07] And that's how he rides in the car.

[00:06:10] You hear that out there?

[00:06:13] You were saying about you?

[00:06:16] Fuck.

[00:06:17] He's mad.

[00:06:18] Why is he so mad?

[00:06:19] I never get that.

[00:06:20] He's always mad when we do him without him.

[00:06:21] It's like, that's a gift.

[00:06:22] Oh, God, damn it.

[00:06:24] You got, you, you're the one who's get it.

[00:06:26] He, we should be mad at him.

[00:06:27] It's, it's on bears.

[00:06:28] Oh, God damn it.

[00:06:30] I'm so funny.

[00:06:32] I'm so funny.

[00:06:33] I'm so funny.

[00:06:34] It's embarrassing guys.

[00:06:37] Seriously, guys.

[00:06:39] It makes me feel like I'm not, like, doing my job.

[00:06:45] God damn.

[00:06:50] It's just...

[00:06:52] I don't know.

[00:06:54] I'm so funny.

[00:06:59] Oh, fuck.

[00:07:00] I guess it doesn't matter.

[00:07:05] How was the ride up, Adam?

[00:07:10] Yeah, it took everyone, it took everyone that long to get here.

[00:07:18] What do we got?

[00:07:19] What do we got there?

[00:07:20] I thought you were on a flat.

[00:07:22] I was just wondering where you got it.

[00:07:24] No, it was more than snack.

[00:07:25] We made you dinner.

[00:07:26] There's pierogies there.

[00:07:27] There's salad in there for you.

[00:07:29] Yeah.

[00:07:30] How do we got here?

[00:07:32] Well, hold on.

[00:07:33] This has got a little pig on there.

[00:07:35] Oh, bacon.

[00:07:36] What is it?

[00:07:37] Bacon bakery.

[00:07:38] Oh, the bacon bakery.

[00:07:39] Yeah.

[00:07:40] B-A-K-I-N.

[00:07:42] So he got a big cookie.

[00:07:44] Oh, it's fucking oatmeal raisin.

[00:07:46] Oh.

[00:07:47] You know, sometimes I like an oatmeal raisin, but it's got to be flat.

[00:07:51] I agree.

[00:07:52] It can't be a big feller like this.

[00:07:54] No, the big fell has got to be chocolate.

[00:07:56] Oh, God damn it.

[00:07:58] I'm saying it's wrong, Cookie.

[00:08:00] Now we're going to get fucking e-mails, Cookie.

[00:08:04] Call me the cookie, bitch.

[00:08:06] I'm going to be the oatmeal faggot from now on.

[00:08:09] I know people are going to show me my house.

[00:08:11] They call me the cookie bitch.

[00:08:13] I'm going to get it.

[00:08:15] All the time.

[00:08:17] Somebody yell cookie oatmeal bitch with my dog.

[00:08:20] Oh, God damn.

[00:08:27] Yeah, it's a big, oatmeal raisin faggot.

[00:08:31] It's like, again.

[00:08:34] Wait, where we did it?

[00:08:37] I think we were at the cabin last time.

[00:08:39] Well, who was the cheese faggot?

[00:08:42] What was the back story behind me?

[00:08:45] Him being the cheese faggot.

[00:08:47] Do you remember?

[00:08:48] That was a great name.

[00:08:53] It was literally the exact same thing.

[00:08:58] I think it was.

[00:09:06] Well, you brought the wrong cheese or something.

[00:09:09] You're calling it shitty cheese.

[00:09:11] I can't remember.

[00:09:12] Oh, man.

[00:09:13] What's up to the oatmeal raisin faggot?

[00:09:15] The re-earnest title of cheese faggot by explaining how he got that one.

[00:09:20] Yeah, he definitely remembers.

[00:09:21] He might pretend he doesn't, but he definitely.

[00:09:24] It's up to him if he tells us.

[00:09:26] Yeah, I forgot how much I was doing.

[00:09:28] Cheese faggot was really good.

[00:09:31] And it's fun to think about because it's like, what have I done since this year?

[00:09:36] Nothing.

[00:09:37] No, absolutely nothing.

[00:09:38] That was probably the highlight.

[00:09:40] That was the high watermark, which was cheese faggot.

[00:09:43] So I'm glad that that guy.

[00:09:45] I can see right now slicing pieces of cheese and being mad at him though, still while eating

[00:09:50] it.

[00:09:51] Fuck.

[00:09:52] No, maybe he ate the rest of it.

[00:09:58] Maybe.

[00:09:59] I don't remember.

[00:10:01] Yeah.

[00:10:02] But that was great, man.

[00:10:05] Adam, what did you do that you became the cheese faggot again?

[00:10:09] Do you remember why you got that name?

[00:10:11] I remember calling you cheese faggot.

[00:10:14] Get a mic.

[00:10:16] Get the mic.

[00:10:17] Get the mic.

[00:10:18] Plug it in.

[00:10:19] It's like all your shit's already right there.

[00:10:21] It was cute when I came in here, dude.

[00:10:23] It was like the podcasting fairy came in.

[00:10:25] Use that one because the other ones are for Ian and Andy.

[00:10:29] That one is the one we...

[00:10:32] No.

[00:10:33] We rubbed our dicks and the ear muffs.

[00:10:36] Huh?

[00:10:37] Okay.

[00:10:38] We'll just fucking...

[00:10:39] No, they're not coming here tonight.

[00:10:42] Are they?

[00:10:43] I thought he said he had a movie dog in his hand.

[00:10:46] Tonight or tomorrow?

[00:10:47] Tomorrow is the same.

[00:10:49] I thought he was coming tonight, tomorrow night.

[00:10:51] Well, if you're listening at home, we got Adam Friedland here to explain the legend of the

[00:10:56] cheese family.

[00:10:57] And we're trying to figure out if Andy is coming tonight or tomorrow.

[00:11:01] Ian and Eldas are coming Monday.

[00:11:04] They're coming Monday and they're staying for the day and they're leaving Tuesday whenever

[00:11:09] they feel like it.

[00:11:10] That'll be nice.

[00:11:11] That's a great crew.

[00:11:12] I'm kind of jealous of that car ride.

[00:11:15] Eldas and Ian together is a great combo.

[00:11:19] You know what Ian's going to try and just either pull his dick out or see someone else's

[00:11:25] dick while they're driving?

[00:11:26] Probably.

[00:11:27] Yeah.

[00:11:28] Yeah, because he'll be away from...

[00:11:30] Yeah.

[00:11:31] Because I think he's in a heterosexual place.

[00:11:32] Let me ask you something.

[00:11:33] You ever get road head?

[00:11:35] I don't know.

[00:11:40] Maybe one time.

[00:11:43] Do you ever feel like trying it out?

[00:11:48] Okay.

[00:11:49] I guess.

[00:11:50] And then he just sees playing a song.

[00:11:53] He's playing a song for 15 minutes.

[00:11:55] He's been thinking, oh I'm doing downtown next week.

[00:11:58] Time to find a song.

[00:11:59] I'm trying to figure out my sound cues.

[00:12:01] God, I hope he brings the slide with us.

[00:12:03] I wonder what dumb shitty's going to do this.

[00:12:05] Yeah, it's going to be great.

[00:12:06] I love that fucking idiot.

[00:12:07] I know, he's great.

[00:12:10] Adam, what's the hold up, man?

[00:12:11] You were taken for fucking ever.

[00:12:14] Oh, he forgot his vagina back in the car.

[00:12:18] Oh yeah, we forgot.

[00:12:20] Check, check.

[00:12:21] Yeah, sounds good, man.

[00:12:23] What happened in here?

[00:12:24] Did you just dent that?

[00:12:25] No.

[00:12:26] You immediately broke the microphone?

[00:12:29] You did, though.

[00:12:30] It's fine.

[00:12:31] I bought new mics.

[00:12:32] I do remember that.

[00:12:33] The day you bought the new mics.

[00:12:34] Because you get to drop a mic.

[00:12:35] Well, he gets, he gets, he gets, he'll be finished the show.

[00:12:38] Adam, don't start, do not have this attitude already.

[00:12:41] Listen, he gets me finished the show.

[00:12:43] He finishes the show.

[00:12:44] He finishes the show and he gets up and just lets everything drop off his body.

[00:12:49] Yeah, like a woman covered in cum after a coyotes.

[00:12:53] Well, you got a woman covering cum.

[00:12:55] She's got a scoop.

[00:12:56] Or you get her a towel for your gentleman.

[00:12:58] I never get a towel.

[00:12:59] You never get a towel.

[00:13:00] No, I go bare hands.

[00:13:01] Just a swiper.

[00:13:02] You swab her.

[00:13:03] You smear her.

[00:13:04] I get a homeless guy to clean her off.

[00:13:07] Like the old window.

[00:13:08] The screen you guys with in the newspaper.

[00:13:11] Yeah.

[00:13:12] Yeah.

[00:13:13] Now you got to let me fuck you too, bitch.

[00:13:15] I'm like, he's right.

[00:13:16] It is.

[00:13:17] Those are the rules of the world.

[00:13:18] Guys rules.

[00:13:19] Guys rules.

[00:13:20] That can't, didn't you see the guys Xing sign on my bedroom wall?

[00:13:25] That's what it is.

[00:13:27] Yeah.

[00:13:28] Guys crossing your pussy.

[00:13:30] And it's two guys.

[00:13:31] You're pussy off the list.

[00:13:32] It's two guys.

[00:13:33] I'm pussy as they fuck.

[00:13:34] It's two guys holding their like standing like guards at attention.

[00:13:37] They're using their dicks to block a woman's access to a place, a building that just says

[00:13:42] job.

[00:13:43] Yeah.

[00:13:44] This guy is close.

[00:13:46] Yeah, that's awesome.

[00:13:47] Hell yeah.

[00:13:48] And there's only one way to lift it up.

[00:13:50] Yeah.

[00:13:51] And you know what it is.

[00:13:52] Jobs are for fellas and Mexicans.

[00:13:55] A woman's place is being sexually assaulted by a homeless man.

[00:14:00] Cleaning the come off.

[00:14:01] Cleaning the come off.

[00:14:02] I think we can all agree that's true.

[00:14:05] How do we like the house guys?

[00:14:07] It's awesome.

[00:14:08] It's awesome.

[00:14:09] It's really great.

[00:14:10] Nice.

[00:14:11] I like this room a lot.

[00:14:12] Yeah.

[00:14:13] You're going to love your bedroom.

[00:14:14] You guys are going to be the shady.

[00:14:15] No, it can't.

[00:14:16] It's whoever got here for me.

[00:14:17] It's only a professional.

[00:14:18] It's only appropriate.

[00:14:19] You're going to really like yours.

[00:14:20] Well, I didn't see it yet.

[00:14:21] No, I haven't.

[00:14:23] You also picked it.

[00:14:24] You've booked this.

[00:14:25] So you should know what the bedrooms are.

[00:14:27] It's a stop and I booked.

[00:14:28] It was a team effort.

[00:14:29] I will say it was a team effort.

[00:14:31] All right.

[00:14:32] Now, but I did.

[00:14:33] I will admit I thought there was more bedrooms.

[00:14:36] Oh, you're cooking.

[00:14:37] You want to tell everybody what kind of cookie you bought?

[00:14:39] Come on.

[00:14:40] Don't because it's oatmeal raisin.

[00:14:43] It felt healthier.

[00:14:44] Oatmeal raisin.

[00:14:45] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:46] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:47] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:48] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:49] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:50] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:51] I'm waiting for you.

[00:14:52] You don't remember why you became the cheese faggot?

[00:14:57] I have no record for that.

[00:15:00] That's kind of like an inverse feminist bookstore because I feel like that was something that

[00:15:06] happened while I wasn't there.

[00:15:08] No, no.

[00:15:09] Well, actually, yeah, I think it was maybe maybe we're eating your cheese and it was

[00:15:12] bad.

[00:15:13] I'm like, shit behind my back.

[00:15:14] Yeah.

[00:15:15] Exactly.

[00:15:16] Maybe that is what happened.

[00:15:17] Yeah, was that day you were asleep?

[00:15:19] Was it the morning episode?

[00:15:20] Yeah, it's a very similar to this.

[00:15:22] Yeah, you started recording like 7 AM.

[00:15:25] Listen, man, it's a fucking work trip.

[00:15:27] We're not here for fucking to play around.

[00:15:30] Sorry you stayed up to like playing cotam, cheating at cotam.

[00:15:33] That's right.

[00:15:34] You were a cheater.

[00:15:35] I've got nothing.

[00:15:37] Stop.

[00:15:38] Why would you go after me?

[00:15:39] I have nothing.

[00:15:40] The game is about bargaining and politics.

[00:15:42] Yeah.

[00:15:43] And so what if I'm good at that?

[00:15:45] So what if that comes naturally?

[00:15:47] Yeah.

[00:15:48] That is true.

[00:15:49] I'm not good at any games.

[00:15:50] No, that's not true.

[00:15:51] No, you play games.

[00:15:52] You play too much actually.

[00:15:54] I play too much.

[00:15:56] Yeah.

[00:15:57] Dude, I almost got in trouble.

[00:15:58] I'm good at trivial pursuit, but that's because I have like most of the questions memorized.

[00:16:02] Because I've just played a bunch and then you remember all the other.

[00:16:06] You're good at the 2003 version.

[00:16:08] Yeah.

[00:16:09] I'm good at the current version.

[00:16:10] The current one.

[00:16:11] I buy every new current version.

[00:16:12] And then you memorize.

[00:16:13] How many times does this shit come out?

[00:16:15] Every year I think.

[00:16:16] Get the fuck out of here.

[00:16:17] Yeah, they updated.

[00:16:18] Everything about it.

[00:16:19] Well, because you remember trivial pursuit as a kid and you're going to play it again.

[00:16:22] You're thinking it's all going to be questions about like Brezhnev and fucking Raquel Welsh.

[00:16:27] And it's like Demi Lovato fucking.

[00:16:29] Really?

[00:16:30] Yeah, there's like.

[00:16:31] Oh, I guess yeah, you're right.

[00:16:32] As a kid, you just like plated at your rec center that was underfunded.

[00:16:35] Right.

[00:16:36] You catch like a 1987.

[00:16:38] Yeah, yeah.

[00:16:39] There's one of them in the one I have.

[00:16:41] The question is the answer is, is it Felix Baumgardner?

[00:16:47] I don't know.

[00:16:48] Oh, the Madison Baumgardner?

[00:16:50] No, not Madison Baumgardner.

[00:16:51] That's the base of all the major.

[00:16:53] It's the Felix Baumgardner.

[00:16:54] The guy that fucking like jumped out of a hot air balloon from space.

[00:16:57] Oh, yeah.

[00:16:58] It was like headline news for a week in like 2014.

[00:17:01] Yeah.

[00:17:02] And like nobody remembers that.

[00:17:03] I have no idea who the fuck that guy is.

[00:17:04] Yeah, I only remember because his name was so stupid.

[00:17:07] Right.

[00:17:08] But that's in there.

[00:17:09] It's like, you know, especially the fucking that's like having like a question about like

[00:17:12] the man with the golden voice.

[00:17:14] Oh, right.

[00:17:15] That guy.

[00:17:16] That guy.

[00:17:17] I've been out here sucking dick.

[00:17:19] I'm sucking cock homeless.

[00:17:21] Yeah.

[00:17:22] Well, thank you and welcome to me sucking cock for cocaine.

[00:17:26] One of the most tragic stories.

[00:17:27] Did they ever, cause any chocolate rain in him?

[00:17:30] Huh?

[00:17:31] Did they ever have a collab?

[00:17:32] Let me ask you this.

[00:17:33] Why would they?

[00:17:34] They both have beautiful voices.

[00:17:35] The truth is not even close to that.

[00:17:37] I think it's just you.

[00:17:39] You're being a fan of Sam Ray since I saw.

[00:17:41] Yeah, great.

[00:17:42] Yeah, you are.

[00:17:43] Why didn't most say you said it?

[00:17:44] I have a follow up.

[00:17:45] I never do anything with Barack Obama.

[00:17:47] You have a diaper up.

[00:17:48] You have a diaper up your legs surrounding your penis and ass.

[00:17:52] Adam, look, I don't want to see what's going.

[00:17:54] I see the road.

[00:17:55] We're about to go down.

[00:17:56] I'm not.

[00:17:57] Okay.

[00:17:58] There's blood in the water.

[00:17:59] Yeah.

[00:18:00] You're going to have to adjust your attitude or it's going to be the whole episode.

[00:18:04] Why?

[00:18:05] You're not doing, you're not doing a good job so far.

[00:18:07] I walked in the door with three coffees and we're happy that I got it a local bakery.

[00:18:12] And thank you.

[00:18:13] I didn't have a bad attitude at all.

[00:18:15] I went to the general store to buy a cigarette.

[00:18:17] Hey, I called you when I was in town.

[00:18:19] Listen, is it a cookie in meal?

[00:18:20] I called you in town.

[00:18:21] Well, I just get me.

[00:18:23] You said we want to record pretty soon.

[00:18:25] So I got a cookie to get a little blood sugar going so we could eat afterwards.

[00:18:29] It wouldn't have been a bad idea to break three cookies.

[00:18:32] Yeah.

[00:18:33] I made pierogies in sound.

[00:18:35] We had a full dinner.

[00:18:36] I should have told you there's pierogies.

[00:18:38] I'm sorry.

[00:18:39] That's my bad.

[00:18:40] I said I'm in town.

[00:18:41] I would have gotten anything.

[00:18:42] It was all frozen.

[00:18:43] That's my bad.

[00:18:44] We'll go to the supermarket after this.

[00:18:46] We go to the fancy supermarket.

[00:18:47] We does.

[00:18:48] We're going to do this.

[00:18:49] That's it, right?

[00:18:50] We'll do this.

[00:18:51] We'll do this one.

[00:18:52] Go to the supermarket.

[00:18:53] Come back.

[00:18:54] Come to a post game.

[00:18:55] Yeah.

[00:18:56] What the supermarket was like.

[00:18:57] Yeah.

[00:18:58] How about the supermarket?

[00:18:59] Yeah.

[00:19:00] Folks, Paul Newman has got to be stopped.

[00:19:05] This guy, he's got a hundred different types of salad dress.

[00:19:11] Uh oh.

[00:19:12] Chris Wilkins got an opinion.

[00:19:13] Yeah.

[00:19:14] Taking shots.

[00:19:15] I'll be at the stand all this week.

[00:19:17] I'm trying out stand up comedy.

[00:19:21] After a recent rape accusation.

[00:19:22] I was going to say did he get caught?

[00:19:24] Did he get pivoned?

[00:19:25] I'll be at the end.

[00:19:26] Lawrence Fishburn recently came out and said I fucked him in the ass.

[00:19:30] On King of New York?

[00:19:32] On the set of King of New York.

[00:19:34] And now I'm a stand up comedian.

[00:19:39] Paul Newman.

[00:19:41] Back to the bitch.

[00:19:42] Back to him.

[00:19:43] Back to the lifetime bitch Paul Newman.

[00:19:47] Famously I fucked his wife.

[00:19:50] A lot of people.

[00:19:51] Did you know that, ma'am?

[00:19:52] I didn't.

[00:19:53] I didn't know that.

[00:19:54] Ma'am, make eye contact with me and I'll fuck you after the show.

[00:19:57] I feel like you're not looking at me but you're saying that in the direction of me.

[00:20:02] I'm doing Gavin McInnes's podcast after this.

[00:20:07] Really good guy.

[00:20:08] I got a show on compound media.

[00:20:14] You said you had an eventful driver.

[00:20:15] I wonder what Paul Newman's come taste like.

[00:20:17] Okay, that's a good direction.

[00:20:19] Do you think it's penis as a, it's got his face on it.

[00:20:24] Right.

[00:20:25] But it's like a dick version of Paul Newman.

[00:20:28] It's like a dressing.

[00:20:29] You think like how the Mexican salad dressing as a sombrero.

[00:20:34] There's a tattoo on Paul Newman's cock of his face but the top of his head is a dick.

[00:20:41] Oh, I see, I see.

[00:20:43] It's not an effort to just be his face.

[00:20:44] It has to be a dick version of his face.

[00:20:45] It's a dick version of his face.

[00:20:47] Maybe it's a one of his balls.

[00:20:49] Maybe it's on one of his balls.

[00:20:50] It says Newman's come.

[00:20:51] Newman's own come.

[00:20:53] Newman's own come.

[00:20:56] That's good.

[00:20:57] That's probably what it happens.

[00:20:58] There's someone flashing a light at me from the back.

[00:21:03] Oh, that means stop.

[00:21:04] I'm new to comedy.

[00:21:05] I'm learning but I get all the best spots at the club because I'm famous actor Christopher

[00:21:11] Walker.

[00:21:12] Honestly, he would get every spot.

[00:21:13] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:14] And it would be, I would be good.

[00:21:15] Yeah, if you wanted to be.

[00:21:18] We've got a great show tonight.

[00:21:20] Oh, he's hosting.

[00:21:21] It's nine former celebrities and a Canadian guy with a cocaine addiction.

[00:21:25] It was so funny.

[00:21:27] He got kicked out of Toronto.

[00:21:29] Oh, fuck.

[00:21:30] Do they still have porn stars doing stand up or did that go away?

[00:21:35] Oh, that's right.

[00:21:36] We also have a porn star.

[00:21:40] I'm hoping to get head from her.

[00:21:42] We have a woman that sucks so much dick.

[00:21:44] She looks like she has sunburn.

[00:21:46] Fuck it.

[00:21:47] Woman.

[00:21:48] Who has been fucked so many times?

[00:21:54] Her epidermis is deteriorated.

[00:22:01] Hi, I'm gay Christopher Walker.

[00:22:04] I'm Christopher Sucken.

[00:22:06] Oh, yeah.

[00:22:07] And guess what?

[00:22:08] I'm Sucken.

[00:22:09] Appenas.

[00:22:10] That's right.

[00:22:12] A cock.

[00:22:13] I'm wild.

[00:22:14] Now, let's get back to your drive up here, Adam.

[00:22:19] Oh, yeah, I almost got in trouble.

[00:22:22] What happened?

[00:22:23] I was trying to get out of the Bronx.

[00:22:25] First and second, I hit Westchester.

[00:22:26] What time did you fucking leave?

[00:22:27] If you left, I left it like two.

[00:22:29] No, you did.

[00:22:30] You said you're such a fool.

[00:22:31] No, change.

[00:22:32] Why?

[00:22:33] Because I left it like fucking 215.

[00:22:34] Yeah, but you drive a race car, dude.

[00:22:36] You know I drive.

[00:22:37] I left it the same time.

[00:22:38] You have an old car.

[00:22:39] You're leaving from the beach.

[00:22:40] You drive a bed.

[00:22:41] That's like, that's almost an hour closer.

[00:22:44] But it didn't take a long time.

[00:22:46] I was like, I'm not going to go to the beach.

[00:22:48] I'm not going to go to the beach.

[00:22:49] I'm not going to go to the beach.

[00:22:50] I'm not going to go to the beach.

[00:22:51] I'm going to run back aations out of the front of the house.

[00:22:53] It's probably going to be that opposite.

[00:22:55] I was like, I'm going to go into focus here.

[00:22:57] But it didn't take me that long to get out of the Bronx.

[00:22:59] Basically, how much time have I got?

[00:23:01] Let's go.

[00:23:02] They put me on $278.

[00:23:05] And then Whez is trying to pull this ridiculous maneuver

[00:23:08] where I go on the La, and then get off on an acce Christina.

[00:23:12] That makes me think about all the different ways

[00:23:13] I could fuck you in your mouth.

[00:23:15] One fish.

[00:23:15] The word numbers where you...

[00:23:19] I didn't know that there's a Jewish woman interrupting the stand up show right now. I thought you got the light

[00:23:26] Yeah, no, this is me. I'm off stage. I'm in the audience

[00:23:33] Yeah, I'm saying this quietly to the person

[00:23:36] There's a Jewish woman complaining about traffic in the Bronx when she's supposed to be watching the show

[00:23:49] I'm on the stage. We've got a Canadian guy who's screaming. Sorry. This is my time. You know Canadian guy screaming about basketball

[00:23:57] Yeah, and then after that Jeremy Piven

[00:23:59] Oh, yeah, Piffs yeah, Piffs fucking fish and Piffs did fucking fat Tuesdays a couple times brother

[00:24:06] It's really good

[00:24:11] It's definitely not half do you remember entourage?

[00:24:15] Remember Lloyd who's a homosexual Chinaman

[00:24:19] I said that already I started watching entourage. It's fucking good. This is the best show of all time. I was on that show

[00:24:25] Yeah, yeah, I was one of the main guys

[00:24:31] I was

[00:24:34] I was in that were you turtle I played I was my character from true romance

[00:24:42] So Don Gito, Collevona

[00:24:46] From from true romance, but he was in the world he was in the entertainment world. I was in true lies also

[00:24:52] I

[00:24:53] Was I would I the I thought I?

[00:24:57] The pilots how to fly that plane that goes up. Mm-hmm. I invented that. That's awesome, dude

[00:25:04] You see Jamie the Curtis taste I thought

[00:25:09] It's true what they say about her pussy being half cock being half penis it was when I was done

[00:25:18] Listen how it's

[00:25:20] They told me you gained a little bit of weight, but I think you look great

[00:25:25] It's been years since I've been on the Howard Stern show

[00:25:29] And you're the only guys that'll have me after I was accused of raping lungs fishburn

[00:25:36] What do you say to these allegations? I say he had a comment

[00:25:44] In my mind yes

[00:25:46] That's awesome what it is asshole feel like I

[00:25:55] Don't know

[00:25:57] Next question if you're good, you know what I'll fucking when I'm ready to tell you okay

[00:26:04] Okay, I'm sorry. You're on you're on you want to you want to promote your stand? What am I?

[00:26:08] You're just what am I a UCB guy?

[00:26:10] Girl, I should introduce a character and somehow be able to answer okay with the most easiest prompt

[00:26:21] Without thinking about maybe getting some more those pierogies

[00:26:25] What are the pierogies? What are they Jewish?

[00:26:28] What is that Jewish? I think it's Polish Polish. Let's go around the audience. What's your name?

[00:26:35] Shut up

[00:26:37] Bitch what's your favorite cookie Christopher Walkie peanut butter cookie? Oh him right?

[00:26:46] Let me answer that question with another question. Okay, two guys walk into a bar

[00:26:51] yeah

[00:26:53] Botan this says what kind of cookies do you guys want?

[00:26:56] and

[00:26:57] the first guy says I love a chocolate chip cookie and

[00:27:01] The second guy says I love a note mail raisin cookie right and

[00:27:05] And the botan though looks at them and he hands the chocolate chip cookie over and he says this is for you

[00:27:12] But your friends gonna have to get out of here. This is a no fags bar

[00:27:20] My question is have you heard that

[00:27:26] Classic Joe I wrote that when I wrote the screenplay for Gran Torino

[00:27:31] You wrote that I wrote that movie originally it was gonna be me and it was called what's that pussy do a dragon lady?

[00:27:39] And in my version I fucked the girl

[00:27:42] The humong girl I catch her in my garage looking for pictures of my penis

[00:27:51] Baby why don't you take a look at the real thing

[00:27:54] It's quite a spin on Gran Torino and it's called King of New York to

[00:28:03] What's that pussy do dragon lady I was the name in China

[00:28:07] They had to change it because the Chinese they like being racist to to a certain amount right?

[00:28:14] You can't go too far actually you you can there isn't too far right you can there's no limit with them

[00:28:20] Right, well you just a scene in the movie with black guys, and they said that's no go right

[00:28:25] They wanted a four and a half hour epic of an old white man beating up Chinese people

[00:28:31] Okay getting pussy from a hold was the girl I think a teenager there was an extra playing basketball in one of the shots

[00:28:40] And they put our producer in jail

[00:28:43] They cut off his genitals and nailed the doctors

[00:28:45] That is really fucking fucked up

[00:28:51] But it sounds like a really interesting spin on the story I forgot even what I was saying

[00:28:56] That's okay, man. I don't remember that's all part of my my one man show Chris a

[00:29:02] delicious life at the stand

[00:29:06] comedy club

[00:29:08] That's awesome I can't wait to get my tickets folks go see Chris a delicious life American institution

[00:29:14] It's about the Howard the joys of cooking got me through drug addiction

[00:29:21] Furious bout of homosexuality

[00:29:24] I cured with Christian baking Wow

[00:29:28] That's awesome. What was the thing that made you not want cock the most sin of homemade sin about?

[00:29:35] And who were some of the guys you fucked in the ass or got fucked in the ass by Lawrence fish bug?

[00:29:40] Magic Johnson. Oh, no

[00:29:42] Michael Winslow

[00:29:48] A fun zone repair

[00:29:54] The guy who played Jeffrey I

[00:29:57] Kind of made my way through that set right?

[00:30:00] It was like to me to me

[00:30:02] I would walk on to the fresh Princeabella said and it was like going into an old West cat house

[00:30:07] Right I had my way with all of them Wow even the extras even the extras

[00:30:12] I left my boots on the entire time did they throw jazz into your asshole like he was throwing him out the door they did

[00:30:20] They did exactly that I can still remember the taste of uncle Phil's nipples

[00:30:28] Like big chocolate covered straw

[00:30:37] That was the path out is I started off gay

[00:30:40] Mmm, but uncle Phil's body reminded me so much of dough right that you went straight that I went I went into baking

[00:30:49] Sonamari

[00:30:50] Yeah, you're a little sorry real quick. I don't mean to interrupt the show

[00:30:54] But did this Jewish woman pay a ticket to be in here?

[00:30:58] Ask these questions

[00:31:01] As the proprietor of the stand I'm very happy that you would do that Chris Chris Italian. We're both named Chris

[00:31:07] Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I asked him that I said that's cute. Maybe we should share bedrooms as a joke as a joke

[00:31:14] Cuz you're past that now I'm banned from the stand for sexually assaulting Chris Italian

[00:31:20] That's an incredibly high bar

[00:31:23] They don't let me perform now anymore because I raped Chris Italian

[00:31:31] That's awesome well, I wish you wouldn't have done that because Chris is a you know didn't deserve to be raped

[00:31:37] But

[00:31:38] We're not anyone really that's true. Well, so you know sometimes

[00:31:44] Some being Seth Simon's own an open relationship

[00:31:49] Sometimes you come in and you know you bring her the wrong cookie. I would say maybe that in that situation you deserve to be raped

[00:31:56] That's spitballing it's a little bit overboard if you ask me you know

[00:32:00] Did you see that story this week that fucking this is crazy that dr. Fauci was taking Beagles and locking their heads in a cage with like

[00:32:09] Some sort of like parasitic fly to eat their skin off and kill them to fix the virus

[00:32:14] I have no idea, but I saw that and I thought that would be a perfect way if someone was late to a show

[00:32:21] Right late to a podcast or maybe they talk that of turn right there was a beagle box

[00:32:28] Mmm you put their head in there and they're put a parasitic fly parasitic flies fill it with the the bot flies

[00:32:35] So just yeah, you know

[00:32:37] Gum up as his holes. Yeah, I think rape is better. Yeah. Yeah, if I just use between those two things

[00:32:44] I probably would get raped. I probably say murder is maybe the only thing worse

[00:32:49] Yeah, I agree with that. I don't know torture is worse than rape

[00:32:55] Yeah, I guess so I call him dr. Slouchy. Oh, yeah, you're anti-fauci because he can come lean on this car

[00:33:05] Now I slip up some time

[00:33:09] Listen, it's a pandemic here. I hear a right. We're still in the pandemic. I was straight until we all got locked inside

[00:33:16] Right and my computer got a gay porn virus

[00:33:20] And so now I'm a relapse I can't know every time I open a website. It's gay porn this gay porn man

[00:33:27] I mean I heard that Chris. I heard a lot of people said a lot of people they turn relapse they relapse

[00:33:32] They went back on drugs. I started sucking cock again and beating off to the Matrix

[00:33:41] Imagining the Lawrence fish burn imagining that I was one of the wires

[00:33:45] I was I would imagine that my cock was the plug

[00:33:57] And my brain was teaching come to him Wow as if it were karate

[00:34:04] Now did that have anything to do with your arousal the with the fact that you had in the past raped Lawrence fish burn

[00:34:10] You know I've forgotten about that until just now. Don't tell my parole officer

[00:34:19] Wink wink

[00:34:24] Found out I was masturbating the one of my

[00:34:26] Right let's just say I'd have some more questions to answer with other questions

[00:34:38] Michael Winslow and Alfonso Rivera walk into a bar. Yes, and the bot

[00:34:57] That's awesome well, it's really good to talk to Christopher Walker. Yeah, that's cool that he's doing

[00:35:02] They just do the stand bumping into him. It's good to see someone working again, you know

[00:35:09] Societies forgiving. Yeah, those crimes. Yeah, absolutely people moving on with America's the land of second chances. That's what I say

[00:35:18] When does the Matrix 4 come out?

[00:35:23] I love using a public urinal and I pull my cock out and as I pull it out

[00:35:28] I back up. Yeah, so other guys can see it in the bathroom and I look at my penis and I put it in my hand

[00:35:35] Then I say to it may I have this dance

[00:35:46] And the guys around you today where they respond usually usually they walk away

[00:35:53] But that's my move that you have you ever had sex through that

[00:35:56] That's never one

[00:35:59] May I have this dance? I hope maybe they'll think I'm talking to them

[00:36:03] Right and they look over and I can say now clearly I was stalking my own penis

[00:36:08] But if you'd like a dance, but since you mentioned it may I ask answer your question with another question

[00:36:15] Two guys walk into a bathroom

[00:36:17] One of those says and they're both gay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think the answer to your question is yes

[00:36:30] I would think at some point Christopher Walken if he did that would get his dick sucked by a man

[00:36:36] But you're telling me that's never happened

[00:36:38] You're batting zero

[00:36:40] Listen, I'm not very good at it. There's a reason I went to jail for right

[00:36:44] I'm still learning

[00:36:51] You were learning to be gay you accidentally

[00:37:00] That's what makes a lot more sense you were new to it late in life. You made a mistake

[00:37:05] I'm learning I keep accidentally raping Adam. How you doing over there? I'm literally I have the worst headache you still think about the

[00:37:18] 278 no I just major deacon well I you pass me that water

[00:37:24] He's a liar well no I got off man one big lie

[00:37:28] The traffic that everyone all three of us left at the same what time you get here me

[00:37:35] Yeah, I got I got to this place at 4 13

[00:37:39] Yeah, but you drive very fast. That's true. That is true. I got here believe fast

[00:37:44] I texted you and I got here. I got here 4 55

[00:37:48] And I got here at 6 and I left it to

[00:37:51] 15

[00:37:53] The child's penis we opened on okay. We open on in space

[00:37:56] Mmm. It's like 2001 but instead of the entire baby. It's just the baby's penis and it's in space

[00:38:03] It's a baby Adam's penis. I guess we can't tell it's Adam's pea and the movies called Adam's penis

[00:38:09] So first you think it's a baby's penis

[00:38:12] the the movie Noah and he's like we need two of every animal and

[00:38:17] the down he's going down the checklist and

[00:38:21] They've got all the animals and the last one is gay guys

[00:38:24] Yeah, and they can only find Adam right

[00:38:29] How'd they make more gay guys if there's only one

[00:38:34] That sounds like a question for God

[00:38:36] Yeah

[00:38:38] Exactly and not they reproduce

[00:38:41] They reproduce that sexually I suppose it pop out of a pussy. That's that's that's their greatest

[00:38:48] That's their greatest talent. Okay guys

[00:38:50] Just it's sort of like you know how like a symbiote like a parasite will lay eggs

[00:38:57] Inside of another animal. Yeah, and that's kind of what gay guys do to society to society

[00:39:04] Yeah, but they yeah, it's like the xenomorphs exactly exactly they playing plant their gay eggs

[00:39:09] Yeah in a woman's pussy there's a face hugger, but it just looks like a pair of butt cheeks and a hot pink song

[00:39:16] Yes, like legs man's legs wrapped you know

[00:39:19] Actually, it's a man saying the dick goes down the throat. Yeah

[00:39:24] Bubble but some like Brazilian

[00:39:31] It's just they're on that spaceship and you're like we don't know how to get it off

[00:39:36] Lance Henrich says the robot, right? Yeah, I think so. I don't know who anyone's name is you guys know guys names. I

[00:39:43] Don't even know what you're doing aliens

[00:39:46] I never saw is Lance Henrich said it in alien in the first one. It's the guy post Frodo

[00:39:52] Right

[00:39:55] No, no, not Frodo Bill bow oh

[00:39:57] It is bill bow bill bow bill bow is bill bow the robot in alien and then Lance Henrich's and is the robot in aliens. I don't remember bro

[00:40:05] Yeah, what it but you're right one or the other Lance Henrich's is really cool. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever suck his cock? I?

[00:40:12] Wow you guys

[00:40:19] Change 20

[00:40:26] Yeah, it was one night

[00:40:28] Was on the set of deer hunter I invited it was me Lance Henrichson and Scott Glenn

[00:40:34] And we took turns we putting the gun in our assholes, right?

[00:40:39] And it was loaded with cum though, right? It was that's exactly and then I said why don't we put this in the movie?

[00:40:46] Right. Oh, so before there was no no you know for real though that the deer hunter was originally just a movie about guys

[00:40:52] That played Russian real life really I thought it was a Vietnam movie where they took all that stuff

[00:40:57] No, they had to add all this other shit really yeah, cuz there's just some stupid movie about guys that played Russian

[00:41:02] I thought it was the all sick. Yeah, it was three guys Lance Henrichson and Scott Glenn and Chris walking

[00:41:07] They all played Russian. Yeah, they kissed and fucked each other. Wow. That sounds like a really good movie

[00:41:12] Mm-hmm. I watched that when I was young and I was trying to like be like I'm into movies

[00:41:16] That's one of those ones you watch when you're like 13. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, but I pretended to really like it. Yeah

[00:41:22] It's not it was too much. Yeah, yeah, you're a hunter kind of socks

[00:41:26] I do like though. There's very few movies that are shot in like Western PA

[00:41:31] Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's it's it's such a it's and that all it's got its own type of beauty

[00:41:37] It no it is it was not but it was like it was the kind of thing I couldn't really appreciate then I was just pretending to like yeah

[00:41:44] I'm still that way

[00:41:46] Yeah, yeah with pussy especially. Oh my god. You can't imagine how exhausting

[00:41:54] Every day you're like this is awesome. This is interesting. Damn. I smell bad dude. We got showers. We got multiple showers

[00:42:01] I got a shower and taking that

[00:42:03] Shower before I that's why it was a little late. I was like, you know what? Shower before I go. I've been showering days

[00:42:09] Respect bro. Yeah, I've been

[00:42:12] Might be having a

[00:42:14] money takes

[00:42:16] Some sleeping pills

[00:42:19] Yeah before I lose my damn mind

[00:42:25] Just fucking this whole thing because it would be good cuz it starts off good exactly

[00:42:30] That's what I'm saying. That's the problem with me. It's it starts off and you're like fucking yeah

[00:42:35] Christopher Walker. I can't play piano, but imagine me playing

[00:42:42] You get one step closer to the edge and now I'm about to

[00:42:47] I'm about to break your back

[00:42:49] Bum bum bum bum bum bum. Next gun fuck at him. I want to suck it fucking dig in my dick. It's fucking little small

[00:42:57] And I'm about to bust I'm on a fucking book about the fucking man's game

[00:43:02] Can someone can we buy can we buy the license or the intellectual property rights of Ben and Gens?

[00:43:09] I think so is it still a restaurant? Yeah, but I would open as a chain restaurant, but also as like a live that live podcast

[00:43:17] Yes

[00:43:19] Yeah, and then I just book podcast and I find girl podcast and I ripped them the fuck off

[00:43:26] So I give them like 500 bucks to do it. Yeah charging. I tell people to do it. I tell people so all live nude

[00:43:35] Girl podcast women may be nude warning women may be nude

[00:43:41] Be nude I said maybe I said maybe it's like the splash zone at SeaWorld

[00:43:50] No refunds

[00:43:55] Just like just photo shopping like fucking just like Subas head

[00:44:01] Yeah

[00:44:08] Yeah

[00:44:11] Podcast I'm trying to think of the most like it wouldn't even be like I'm not conservative but like just you know

[00:44:17] Like someone who does this professional. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, somebody who doesn't even do jokes about dating right right right

[00:44:23] Because I'm what I don't know. Yeah, it couldn't be guys. We fucked that would be too easy. I'm a

[00:44:27] Because I'm one step goes into my dick and it looks pretty small

[00:44:41] You got you got these

[00:44:43] Woods are scary where we are in now. No, maybe if you're you know a race a race that stands in opposition to the spiritual world

[00:44:50] What is that maybe of ethnically speaking you're an enemy of nature

[00:45:03] Some of us fear

[00:45:05] Yeah, some of us are in synchronicity with the forest. I mean look I'm not I'm not a big woods guy

[00:45:10] But we're not in the fucking woods woods. It was it was really pretty and then when the Sun went down

[00:45:14] I got kind of scary it's not scary. It's fucking calm and I love the woods too at night

[00:45:20] We're not that deep into the fucking woods

[00:45:23] I feel pretty deep for me. I feel deep. I'm you know all the sound of the wind and the trees. That's the scariest part

[00:45:33] Owls and they said they said they got raspberry trees and we can have some

[00:45:38] That's a trick. That's the trick. There's they breed they breed the raspberry trees that fucking GHB in them

[00:45:45] Oh, so they come up yeah, try to this nice family that were this nice straight might I add family house try the raspberries

[00:45:59] Make sure that fat Jewish woman tries the first

[00:46:06] Fuck dude, I'll try them first

[00:46:08] I'm you're supposed to rent a Lamborghini and bring it up here. What happened to that?

[00:46:12] Remember we talked about that. Never said you're gonna find an exotic car rental place and bring a Lamborghini up here

[00:46:17] For me to trash. Do you like the TV about Adam? Yeah, dude. I really appreciate that. Yeah

[00:46:23] Incredibly clutch move on stuff. We got a brand is it

[00:46:27] Is that how it's pronounced? Yeah, it's Italian

[00:46:31] I thought it's like insane and say

[00:46:34] Insane and say yeah

[00:46:38] Yeah, I

[00:46:40] Just got the fucking you know cheap is 55 inch or whatever. Yeah, just something to tide us over for a couple days

[00:46:47] We got to watch Nick's Bulls. You know I'm saying it's a big one tonight. Yeah, what time it ate today?

[00:46:54] Think it's an eight. I think they put it at the same time as my inches that my dick is

[00:46:59] 55 inches no eight. I just I hog the TV and watch bar rescue

[00:47:04] Like I got to find out what happens

[00:47:07] They're fixing the bar. I

[00:47:12] Don't know if it's gonna be better or worse

[00:47:15] But it's definitely one of the two. I love I love his concepts are so retarded half the time

[00:47:20] Yeah awful, but you know the man made money. How do you is he like a bar offer? Yeah?

[00:47:25] What's I don't understand what his qualifications were for that show?

[00:47:29] I think he expert in bars. He just has a handful of suits

[00:47:33] Yeah, and yelling and a neck pussy. Yeah

[00:47:38] That would be nice to rub your dick on his little girdle goital

[00:47:41] Yeah, he seems like just a guy that cheats on his wife in Atlantic City Taffer

[00:47:46] Yeah, no, he got a second show called the marriage

[00:47:49] Rescues seems kind of sexless really in a way where he yells at couples having problems

[00:47:55] Because he was so good at fixing bars and they were like there's now you can fix marriage

[00:47:59] And see what John Taffer's up to the three just we compete for the last 12 minutes. He was in Vegas. Oh really?

[00:48:06] Yeah, he's fucking hot. Yeah, he looks good. It's up fish

[00:48:11] Let me suck it pussy, baby. That means I can't pussy. Let me suck it pussy

[00:48:17] I want us all go black eyes penis

[00:48:22] We're doing that early before

[00:48:24] Let me suck it fucking car

[00:48:28] Taffer was born a great neck New York, which is right what I get not where I'm from. Oh, he's one of my Russian Jewish

[00:48:42] Yeah, he worked at Barney's beanery in West Hollywood and then he performed as a drummer in a live band

[00:48:49] I guess I don't really remember what he looks like he looks like he has down syndrome

[00:48:55] Kind of his eyes are really little he looks very leathery, right?

[00:48:58] You're gonna tell me this is not and kind of wet. This is not a person. This is not a down

[00:49:03] So I see what yeah, that means from that angle. It's tough. It looks pretty tough. So look I've been I'm not on TikTok

[00:49:09] But Instagram has started basically just stealing TikToks and putting them on it's candy rescue with John Taffer

[00:49:16] Not not peanut butter

[00:49:18] They got put more you want

[00:49:23] This picture he really looks for you. It was it's both a malleo mouth on your hand and

[00:49:29] It mounted in my hand John later found out it was because he was gripping the candy too hard

[00:49:38] That was on me that was on me sometimes I jumped a gun

[00:49:42] I'm a tough I'm a tough student, but even tough a lover

[00:49:49] Whatever that means we're not sure I

[00:49:53] Saw to a couple with down syndrome that was like ripped

[00:49:58] And they were like dancing. Yeah a girl a girl and a guy they were in great shape. Wow they were dancing

[00:50:05] Where are they dancing we're using it is TikTok. Yeah, or is like on to on Instagram reels or whatever like swole mates

[00:50:12] It was cute man. It's all apes swole

[00:50:17] It was really fucking cute

[00:50:19] Yep, Mongol Roy

[00:50:23] Yeah, they're on Mongol Roy's yeah slow mates

[00:50:28] Below this company something there you got to get in there

[00:50:32] That's where brother said John Taffrey on down syndrome rescue to come to yeah

[00:50:37] Coming up on Sun rescue. I

[00:50:40] Don't know if I can do with anything with him. He does down syndrome

[00:50:44] And that's the end of the episode

[00:50:48] Coming up next their foster kid keeps fucking their cat

[00:50:54] On Sun rescue that would be hard to do man. Yeah cats are too fucking you couldn't fuck a cat. Yeah

[00:51:00] You think you can fuck a cat Adam? No

[00:51:05] You know I can't guy. I can't stand them can't stand them

[00:51:10] I can't stand getting brain is it just because you the cat you had in DC was a horrible cat

[00:51:15] They just make me allergic. Oh, right? You're a little dude. You're allergic. Yeah

[00:51:20] Yeah, that cat

[00:51:22] The cat you have was a fucking piece of shit. Yeah, that cat was not very cool

[00:51:27] No, he's like in swiped at everybody and he like his yeah the John Taffrey podcast is that on gas digital?

[00:51:34] No, Lewis can't afford him dude. Well, who's the guy? He's got Bo deal. I think he had Bo deal for like three episodes

[00:51:40] That's very funny and also like I believe

[00:51:43] D

[00:51:45] From Twisted Sister was on it for a sake, but I'm neither Christopher walking as his own show on is that called Chris's victims

[00:51:51] Where he brings on guys like Michael Winslow

[00:51:53] He's like Michael remember me does he like apologize Michael

[00:52:10] So he's kind of stealing the guys we fucked formula, but with rapes yeah, right guys I

[00:52:18] We had an awkward time

[00:52:20] I

[00:52:22] Don't think it was fun for either one of us

[00:52:28] Coming up on guys I fucked with Chris walking

[00:52:37] Breathing right now

[00:52:39] the

[00:52:40] Smash hit the Matrix was released in 1999 the critical and audience a claim

[00:52:46] My next guest is one of the first guys I've raped in Hollywood

[00:52:51] Why you so much Larry? Yeah, so Larry Fishburne

[00:52:56] One of the British Empire. Thank you for joining us

[00:53:00] Now you bet you were knighted recently. How did that happen? Can have you fucked any of the princes?

[00:53:06] Hey those gods with the big hats

[00:53:09] Prince Andrew I I one time as a prank. I sucked his dick through a curtain

[00:53:13] Because he thought a four-year-old was on the other side

[00:53:17] And that's when I was given really getting into magic

[00:53:22] Slide of hand well David Blaine tricked me one time and I said never again

[00:53:29] And so I went around I had a cake I would you know bring over my face like Dracula right and I would

[00:53:38] forcibly suck guys

[00:53:40] But the cape was covering your cake. Yeah, and then I would pull it away and I'd go surprise

[00:53:49] Surprise you know your game

[00:53:54] Child oh, it's oh whatever the preference was right right right I had a deck of cards and I would lay it out flat

[00:54:02] And I would have them pick a card and I would say now you take the card and I'm gonna we're both gonna close our eyes and

[00:54:11] They would close our eyes and but I would secretly open my eyes

[00:54:19] I'd get on a stool

[00:54:22] And I undo my pants and I put my cock out and I'd say okay now put their card back in the deck and

[00:54:29] And

[00:54:31] Say but you can't touch the deck you have to just do it with the card right and I they would you know

[00:54:37] They would keep feeling for the inside of the deck, but they would move the card on top and below my penis

[00:54:44] And I'd say just keep trying you're gonna get it, but keep your eyes closed

[00:54:49] It's important. You don't see where it goes into the deck. My eyes are closed also by the way

[00:54:54] As you recall from my promise

[00:55:01] So you can sort of get jacked off by a guy with holding a card and at certain point I would have

[00:55:12] I would do it for you

[00:55:15] And they called me the cod bass that a great

[00:55:17] Wow, and that's how I met John Tom. That's crazy. You're a young man back then just a young guy with down syndrome

[00:55:25] And my I knotted on his face and it's slick this hair back and people said wow this is what is this a businessman?

[00:55:32] Wow

[00:55:34] Because John to have rejected you over the card with the three of clubs now back in those days. I went by David brain

[00:55:50] My magic trick was

[00:55:52] I

[00:56:03] Yeah, so this must have been because John Taffer moved it was in a period of time in the United States the people lovingly

[00:56:10] Refrontal now is the horny 60s right as the summer of fucking yeah, that makes sense. He was about 16

[00:56:17] That was up in 1969. No, no John Taffer. I was born in 1917 right

[00:56:25] Right right right right right right yep

[00:56:27] Yeah, this must have been before 1972 because that's when John Taffer left great neck so

[00:56:34] He went to LA went to LA with big dreams with big dreams rock dreams rock and roll fucking dreams brother

[00:56:41] That's really yeah, you're a really good magician Chris. Thank you

[00:56:47] It's impressive you can even get someone to ejaculate just with a touching a playing card to your penis

[00:56:57] It's really dependent on the card if it was the two of clubs we'd be standing there for hours

[00:57:01] Oh, it was you know a joker or the ex-respect

[00:57:03] The gay if they were gay so you someone would just stand there take your word for it

[00:57:16] No one would peek ever that never happened no never

[00:57:21] One time it was a police officer

[00:57:24] Luckily that man died in 9-11

[00:57:26] A

[00:57:33] Lot of people forget 9-11 also happened in the

[00:57:37] Go back. Oh look you'll find another single picture from the 1960s with the Twin Towers in it

[00:57:42] That's a good point. It's because they were demolished right via Muslim airplane

[00:57:47] I didn't yeah, but just shit back then she just rolled off your back. It did you didn't you didn't have to make

[00:57:53] No one had to make a big thing about it. You know who weren't just airing their grievances all day long

[00:57:57] Well, you know on the Internet yeah, they would do it

[00:57:59] But they would do it through movies about like you know a pimp that has to solve a mystery right?

[00:58:03] Yeah, that's right. That's what that's what people do

[00:58:07] Okay Chris, all right, I think that's your time. No, no, okay, all right Chris. They're for the stand for the stand, but it'll make sense

[00:58:17] You are racist because you only

[00:58:26] Before all this rap garbage

[00:58:31] Now it's all this music fuck this bitch

[00:58:33] That it used to be a guy with a big fuzzy hat driving a Cadillac

[00:58:41] And he would solve a crime

[00:58:45] When men were men

[00:58:49] Yeah, Adam motherfucker you think so go see Christopher Walkett a delicious life at the stand

[00:58:55] If him in Chris Italian can reconcile after he raped him. Oh, that might be the only Caucasian that he has well

[00:59:03] Well, you know, it's Andrew's Italian

[00:59:06] He's necessarily a white man right because you

[00:59:10] Remember Italians they have the asshole of the black. I know that's that I know for sure

[00:59:16] And it was just deleted scene from true romance. It's from Joe dirt over Joe dirt. That's Joe dirt's namesake is how he gets it is

[00:59:25] He's got a black asshole. I didn't know that dirty asshole. I've never seen Joe dirt

[00:59:30] Were you in that I was not only was I in it? I would watch it constantly

[00:59:35] He was on every afternoon on Comedy Central. I remember back when I looked at a gas station

[00:59:40] After Joe dirt came out

[00:59:45] Wonder if you're going to see no

[00:59:48] Really jumping all over when I was in high school. I would watch Joe dirt on Comedy Central

[00:59:54] I was working at a gas station at the time

[00:59:58] And I'd watch Joe dirt

[01:00:01] And that's why I learned how to talk like this and I said this is my ticket out of this place listen rape

[01:00:06] The two the two combined I'm gonna charm I'm gonna charm sound effect black guys

[01:00:15] With with a cool voice right and then we're gonna be in love

[01:00:20] Did you I thought you're gonna be in love? I was in love with all of them. That was my my main defense in court

[01:00:27] You passed the lie the taker test I

[01:00:28] Yes, I brought my own mind about it. Did you make it yourself you bought it? I've cobbled it together from old VCR

[01:00:45] That's really fucking cool Chris how much fucking time I mean

[01:00:48] Perfect time to check because it's over. Oh baby. Do I hit this one you sure do the stop button?