[00:00:00] referendum

[00:00:18] weeks ago. So we're gonna have a timely discussion about this

[00:00:21] Chappelle special. Now, where are we mid-January? I think this is

[00:00:26] Thanksgiving week. Thanksgiving week. So get your fucking yams, get your pussy

[00:00:32] holes cleaned up, wax them so that for your family so you don't see your family

[00:00:38] with a hairy ball, not sack. This is the third episode we've done so far. And the

[00:00:44] cabin and Adam has been late to every single one. You're not the...

[00:00:50] Not the second one. Oh, crinkly. Crinkly Mike. The diaper, the diaper crinkles.

[00:00:57] Just watch. It's probably your diaper. It's not my diaper. Oh, you do have a

[00:01:04] diaper. Oh, you got new diapers. Yeah, I got silent, more stealth-like diapers.

[00:01:10] The James Bond collection. Diapers for a man with a license to kill.

[00:01:17] With a license to come in your pants. Simon diapers, 007. That way you can

[00:01:22] bust in your pants. That's wonderful. A time to soon, starring James Bond.

[00:01:33] No time to bust. A time to soon, and a villain has injected James Bond with a

[00:01:40] poison that makes him bust early. So they send him to a casino to do

[00:01:44] spy stuff and he's like just coming at his pants. And then he's like, oh, it hit me.

[00:01:49] And then he already has like 20 showing. Yeah. Like busts. And he's like, I already did.

[00:01:54] Don't mind if I kill.

[00:02:00] Oh, oh, oh. His eyes crossed the door. Spectre has a new device that will kill

[00:02:09] anyone who's busted in the casino. And it's for some reason they've done this.

[00:02:18] Well, how do I have to get the antidote? And then he's like, yeah, that's when he

[00:02:23] makes the diaper. That's oh, the diapers. Yeah, yeah. It's a silent diaper. No, it's not

[00:02:28] the antidote, but he can he has to learn how to control seals the bus. Yeah, because you

[00:02:33] said anyone who bust dies. So James Bond is, you know, he's fueled by horniness. Yeah.

[00:02:40] So like if you notice in the movies, he never actually fucks the women. He's just edging

[00:02:45] the entire time. There's never been a bond with him. You actually see a boss. No, there

[00:02:49] has a he bus at the end of the movie. And that's why the women disappear. That's right.

[00:02:54] Like that fuck doing work. I've got a cave. I'm boss. I'm you I'm putting my phone on

[00:03:03] D and D. Once my refractory period is ended, I can go back to saving the world for posting.

[00:03:09] Oh, interesting. Yeah. So Spectre finds this out. They inject him with a poison that makes

[00:03:15] him bust immediately. And because of that, it's like, you know, he shows up to the

[00:03:20] don't just kill him. They're like, James, we need you to go to the Monte Carlo and find

[00:03:24] out. Yeah, just exactly what's the linegros up to. Okay. All right. Just don't stay the

[00:03:34] name. Welcome to my casino. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[00:03:42] okay, his name is something else, though. You could keep the voice and you could keep the

[00:03:52] name, it can't be both like one of your famous Martina's second master. Look, you can have

[00:04:01] dessert, but you can't have you got to have a little bit of fucking meet, you know, you

[00:04:04] gotta meet with your with your little wife to have cake and fuck it ice cream. Now to

[00:04:10] to parade out the string of women scantily clad.

[00:04:14] James Bond's like sweating.

[00:04:16] Yeah.

[00:04:16] I don't know.

[00:04:18] Yeah, any bust?

[00:04:19] And then he's like,

[00:04:20] no, Mr. Bond, I believe you had questions

[00:04:23] you wanted to ask me.

[00:04:24] And he's like, no, I'm gonna go home and eat pugels.

[00:04:26] Yeah, I'm just gonna say, I'm working.

[00:04:29] Where can I get some pizza?

[00:04:31] I'm trying to have a cigarette.

[00:04:33] I would like a couch.

[00:04:34] Actually gambling.

[00:04:35] Can I?

[00:04:36] Gambling and whatever game bullshit you're up to,

[00:04:39] I don't care about.

[00:04:40] It's time to play Doom Eternal.

[00:04:41] Where can I get Ben and Jerry's?

[00:04:44] I'd like a Ben and Jerry's

[00:04:45] and I'd like to watch the fourth quarter

[00:04:47] of an NBA, the West Coast and the A game

[00:04:49] after she's gone home.

[00:04:51] Yeah.

[00:04:54] I'm just gonna call myself the other.

[00:04:55] I'm going to call myself an Uber.

[00:04:58] I think I can still catch King's Warriors.

[00:05:03] It's a 30 point game,

[00:05:04] but it's worth not hanging out with her.

[00:05:07] Anything.

[00:05:09] Anything.

[00:05:10] Perhaps I'll put on season three of Trail of Park boys.

[00:05:15] Eat Reese's pizza.

[00:05:18] Let me ask you, do you remember the episode

[00:05:20] where Ricky is tearing out all of the pipes

[00:05:22] from his father's house?

[00:05:24] Isn't there for the episode?

[00:05:25] I just really want to watch that scene

[00:05:27] or maybe the one where he can't get the grocery car

[00:05:29] up the hill.

[00:05:30] Yeah, that's very good.

[00:05:33] Do you remember when Ray has to go live in the trash

[00:05:36] and he's being attacked by trash bees?

[00:05:40] Remember when bubbles has an evil puppet

[00:05:44] makes them do evil stuff?

[00:05:46] That's a good one.

[00:05:47] That's a pretty good one.

[00:05:48] Remember when they're stealing meat

[00:05:50] in the Christmas presents?

[00:05:51] Ah, fuck it.

[00:05:55] And Julian says to the security guard,

[00:05:57] these are our presents you have no right to look at them.

[00:06:01] We're leaving.

[00:06:03] I feel like James Bond is based off of Julian

[00:06:06] kind of, you know what I was.

[00:06:07] Yeah, Julian is a very, one of the most swab guys

[00:06:09] I've ever heard.

[00:06:11] Dude, man, that show was so funny.

[00:06:12] Oh, he's got a drink.

[00:06:14] I know.

[00:06:15] That show, I was like, you know,

[00:06:16] I was like in love with that show.

[00:06:18] Of course.

[00:06:19] When I was like 19,

[00:06:20] yeah, exactly.

[00:06:21] At the exact trailer park.

[00:06:22] Exactly, dude.

[00:06:23] I was like, wake up and I'm like,

[00:06:24] I wonder what Ricky and Julian are up to.

[00:06:26] Yeah, dude.

[00:06:27] I remember I would show it to everyone if they didn't like it.

[00:06:29] I'd be like, we can't be friends.

[00:06:30] Yeah.

[00:06:31] You're fucking, put your piece of shit.

[00:06:32] My cousin didn't like it.

[00:06:33] I was like,

[00:06:35] you're fucking watching bullshit.

[00:06:36] I love that show.

[00:06:38] Yeah.

[00:06:39] Just even now, I can kind of close my eyes

[00:06:40] and finally think of Ricky wiping the top of the car off

[00:06:43] with the hockey stick.

[00:06:44] Yeah.

[00:06:45] That's so funny.

[00:06:46] Yeah.

[00:06:47] Shout out to Elliot Page.

[00:06:49] Elliot.

[00:06:50] Got to start.

[00:06:52] And I believe just a young buck,

[00:06:54] just a young acting game.

[00:06:57] I believe he was a bottle kit.

[00:06:58] That's the other, no, no.

[00:06:59] Who was a bottle kit?

[00:07:00] I love how everyone,

[00:07:02] whatever the,

[00:07:03] it was a, I think Ricky's daughter was a bottle kit for a second.

[00:07:07] Wasn't she?

[00:07:08] She was.

[00:07:09] Trina, Trinity, right?

[00:07:10] Trina, that's such a good name for a poor person's kid.

[00:07:13] Yeah.

[00:07:14] Trina.

[00:07:15] And then,

[00:07:16] I loved when Ricky's wife got breast implants.

[00:07:19] That was awesome.

[00:07:21] Let's just remember more.

[00:07:23] That was just awesome from a busting perspective, not really.

[00:07:27] From a wanting to fuck with ladies.

[00:07:28] We go to the rush show, pretty cool.

[00:07:31] Oh yeah.

[00:07:32] Steve French,

[00:07:33] they kidnap Geddy Lee.

[00:07:34] Yeah.

[00:07:35] They kidnap Geddy Lee or they kidnap Alex.

[00:07:39] No, it's like Geddy Lee.

[00:07:41] It's the guitarist.

[00:07:42] It's what's his name, Alex.

[00:07:43] I don't remember.

[00:07:44] I'm gay.

[00:07:46] Alex,

[00:07:54] and my day cannot get hot.

[00:07:56] That's right.

[00:07:57] They did it.

[00:07:58] They did a talk when I was in college.

[00:08:00] I went to go see them give a talk.

[00:08:05] Yeah.

[00:08:06] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[00:08:08] Go ahead, Adam.

[00:08:09] No, that's it.

[00:08:10] It was just awesome.

[00:08:11] Well, there goes the momentum of.

[00:08:13] And my dick cannot get on.

[00:08:15] We get back in a rush.

[00:08:16] Unless I fuck a man.

[00:08:18] That's what I had.

[00:08:19] There you go.

[00:08:20] There you go.

[00:08:21] There you go.

[00:08:22] They hurt it in the head.

[00:08:24] Did I?

[00:08:25] Oh yeah.

[00:08:26] The black people and the artists must be the ones

[00:08:29] who die.

[00:08:30] It's just like fascist rush.

[00:08:33] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:34] So we can mold a new reality based on our phenotypes.

[00:08:40] Damn.

[00:08:41] That would be so annoying if racist had good music.

[00:08:47] Yeah.

[00:08:48] Well, they are like a libertarian band.

[00:08:49] Are they?

[00:08:50] Yeah.

[00:08:51] So they like to fuck kids.

[00:08:52] The age of consent.

[00:08:54] Well, if you listen to lyrics and working man, it's like.

[00:08:56] It's basically tyranny.

[00:08:57] You know, like I'm at work all day.

[00:08:59] I don't get a break and that's good.

[00:09:01] Unions are bad.

[00:09:02] That's hilarious.

[00:09:03] No, I don't know.

[00:09:05] Well, I guess that's why they call me.

[00:09:09] They call me a fucking fag.

[00:09:12] Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

[00:09:16] Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

[00:09:20] That's right, stop.

[00:09:21] Getting sucked off.

[00:09:22] Getting my dick sucked off by a man.

[00:09:23] It's inside my ass.

[00:09:25] S U C C inside my ass. S U C C my penis S U C C my penis.

[00:09:31] S U C C.

[00:09:34] S U C C.

[00:09:36] I forgot about our friends the best.

[00:09:38] Our friend?

[00:09:39] Your friend.

[00:09:40] That's right.

[00:09:41] Not my best.

[00:09:43] Yeah, still crazy.

[00:09:44] He's a crab.

[00:09:45] I thought he's a fucking lobster.

[00:09:47] Well, he's got lobster vibes.

[00:09:48] He's a fucking lobster.

[00:09:49] He's a red crab.

[00:09:50] I mean, the color's not the problem.

[00:09:51] He is a lobster.

[00:09:52] We were not lobsters and crabs are the same color.

[00:09:55] Same color.

[00:09:56] We weren't like, who are the colors?

[00:09:57] Maybe you could have a blue crab.

[00:09:59] It's got, he's got a rectangular head.

[00:10:01] There's something about a blue crab.

[00:10:02] Cabs don't read crabs don't have heads at all.

[00:10:05] Exactly.

[00:10:06] Yeah, I mean strawberries.

[00:10:07] Yeah.

[00:10:08] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:09] By the way, these strawberries are fucking unbelievable.

[00:10:11] And I've been eating nothing but candy the last fucking.

[00:10:14] I've been on the road eating like the dog, the dog shit.

[00:10:16] Try one of these strawberries.

[00:10:17] These strawberries are a fucking, tell me that's not the best.

[00:10:20] Adi Sturihima.

[00:10:21] I love a cold fruit.

[00:10:23] Yeah.

[00:10:24] Yeah.

[00:10:25] Yeah.

[00:10:26] Is that what you say?

[00:10:27] Yeah, it was very clever.

[00:10:28] He snapped the surgical gloves off and put another body in the freezer.

[00:10:32] I'm like a deadster for homosexual.

[00:10:35] Yeah.

[00:10:36] No, you like them alive.

[00:10:38] You like them chili.

[00:10:39] I realized my son was gay.

[00:10:41] So I taught him to kill gay guy.

[00:10:44] I just, I would put him to use.

[00:10:48] I was trying to figure out.

[00:10:49] You can suck cock, but you have to exterminate a lot.

[00:10:51] John Lithgow impression by myself like the weeks ago.

[00:10:55] I think I was in the car just driving somewhere and I kept being like, I'm a fag.

[00:11:00] And it's like, you know, people have to be see me.

[00:11:03] Right, right, right.

[00:11:04] Like nobody's going to be like, oh, John Lithgow.

[00:11:07] Right, right, right.

[00:11:08] We're trying to figure out John Lithgow.

[00:11:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:11:10] His famous line.

[00:11:11] His famous line from Harry and the Henderson's.

[00:11:14] We met, he met Harry trying to have gay sex in the woods.

[00:11:18] He met Harry Fruising.

[00:11:19] And then a Bigfoot was fucking his ass through a gallery.

[00:11:22] He was like, wow, this dick is huge.

[00:11:23] Bigfoot's really ruined the woods for gay guys.

[00:11:26] That just used to be a place you could have honest gay sex.

[00:11:29] Dude, I bet you.

[00:11:30] And then Bigfoot's actually ruined it.

[00:11:31] If you were a gay guy, you'd probably be thrilled to fuck.

[00:11:33] Well, there's old New England, you know, like, like tales in mythology about witches

[00:11:39] and stuff in the woods.

[00:11:40] It was, we're all just homosexuals out in the woods having sex with the young.

[00:11:42] Yeah, putting on guys.

[00:11:43] They don't blame it.

[00:11:44] No, literally.

[00:11:45] Yeah, it was like, you know, they'd go out in the woods.

[00:11:46] They'd start a little fire and they'd butt fuck each other.

[00:11:49] The child would walk out there and be like, what the fuck is this?

[00:11:53] And they're like, oh, it's women.

[00:11:54] It must be a loose woman.

[00:11:59] Maybe yeah, maybe just a high-pitched gay guy laughing.

[00:12:02] Yeah.

[00:12:03] They did a joke.

[00:12:04] They were doing, um, so when women are like, they used to persecute us and, you know,

[00:12:09] whatever.

[00:12:10] Yeah, it's like, oh, that's my favorite type of, oh yeah.

[00:12:12] That's my favorite type of...

[00:12:13] Mad about the Salem witch child's mother.

[00:12:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:12:15] White woman being like, we went through it.

[00:12:18] That was our slavery.

[00:12:20] Like, okay, also, what did you go through, bitch?

[00:12:23] Okay.

[00:12:24] What years?

[00:12:25] Yeah, yeah.

[00:12:26] Tell me any of the details.

[00:12:27] Yeah.

[00:12:28] Where did these murders happen?

[00:12:29] What was the name of the town?

[00:12:30] Yeah.

[00:12:31] You did it.

[00:12:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:33] It's all fake, I agree.

[00:12:34] I agree.

[00:12:35] Well, they were asking for it.

[00:12:39] And you know, some...

[00:12:40] I do...

[00:12:41] It is pretty funny how like...

[00:12:42] Do you remember that play, the Crucible?

[00:12:44] Yeah.

[00:12:45] Do you read it in school?

[00:12:46] Yeah.

[00:12:47] It was pretty good, honestly.

[00:12:48] It probably was pretty good, but...

[00:12:50] Pretty cool.

[00:12:51] It's pretty funny that they were like...

[00:12:52] They had a slave character, Ticcha-ba in it, and...

[00:12:55] That's a cool name.

[00:12:57] I remember in English class, my teacher didn't know if she should choose the one black girl

[00:13:02] to do it.

[00:13:03] Yeah.

[00:13:04] Or if she should have someone just read like the broken English as a white person.

[00:13:09] Yeah, that's a real tough...

[00:13:10] That's kind of a crossroads.

[00:13:11] That stuff being like a fucking liberal-ass 24-year-old English teacher that's like, oh...

[00:13:16] She was like in her 60s.

[00:13:17] Oh.

[00:13:18] She was the best teacher I ever had.

[00:13:19] But that was real stuff.

[00:13:21] What was good about her?

[00:13:23] She let you turn things in as late as you wanted.

[00:13:26] That's awesome.

[00:13:27] She would always tell you how much stress you're under.

[00:13:30] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:31] Yeah.

[00:13:32] That's good.

[00:13:33] Now hard it is to be a kid.

[00:13:34] Yeah.

[00:13:35] Yeah.

[00:13:36] High school student.

[00:13:37] I do love the teachers.

[00:13:38] She's so nice.

[00:13:39] Yeah.

[00:13:40] She's the nicest lady I've ever met.

[00:13:41] And you still remember something from her class?

[00:13:42] That's a testament.

[00:13:43] I remember all the books I felt bad about lying.

[00:13:45] Wow.

[00:13:46] That's how you do it.

[00:13:47] I used to cheat going up through the years and then you get to her class.

[00:13:51] And then I felt bad about lying to her.

[00:13:52] So that's how you cure Jews.

[00:13:55] Yeah.

[00:13:56] It's going to be nice.

[00:13:57] Yeah.

[00:13:58] Hitler never...

[00:13:59] We've discovered a cure for Jews.

[00:14:02] Yeah.

[00:14:03] Hitler should have been like, come in.

[00:14:05] This pastrami.

[00:14:07] You know?

[00:14:08] Yeah.

[00:14:09] Elle you can eat.

[00:14:11] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:13] That's what there is when Hitler fucked up.

[00:14:15] Yeah.

[00:14:16] He could have been friends with Jews.

[00:14:18] They could have...

[00:14:19] He could have used them to do his business deals and trick like Italy and all the...

[00:14:22] And France and everybody around them.

[00:14:24] And you could have tricked Poland.

[00:14:26] Oh, he could have...

[00:14:27] With Jewish accounting.

[00:14:29] He could have cut some great deals.

[00:14:31] He could have cut some great deals.

[00:14:33] If you just get all the Jews on deck and you're like, look, trick Poland into giving me land.

[00:14:39] So we don't have to kill nobody.

[00:14:40] We don't have to go fuck up those guys in horses or whatever.

[00:14:43] Yeah.

[00:14:44] There was a bunch of pollocks that just got on horses to try and beat Hitler.

[00:14:48] I think that was WW1.

[00:14:49] Oh, really?

[00:14:50] Yeah.

[00:14:51] That was like right after the event.

[00:14:52] That's the story of Hidalgo.

[00:14:53] After the invention of the...

[00:14:54] The machine got into pollocks like, oh, they had swords and horses.

[00:14:58] They just walked into...

[00:15:00] Sorry, the Americans did that too, right?

[00:15:02] At the beginning of World War II.

[00:15:03] Or maybe World War II.

[00:15:05] Yeah, that's...

[00:15:06] They showed up.

[00:15:07] They showed up.

[00:15:08] They couldn't figure out how to fight war anymore because of like...

[00:15:10] Yeah, yeah.

[00:15:11] There was no honor in it anymore.

[00:15:13] You could just get on a horse.

[00:15:14] You could just get on a horse.

[00:15:15] On either side of a field.

[00:15:16] Yeah.

[00:15:17] Two teams just running into the middle.

[00:15:19] Single combat.

[00:15:20] Yeah.

[00:15:21] But then they invented machine guns.

[00:15:22] They're like, all right, we got to stay in holes.

[00:15:23] That sucks, dude.

[00:15:24] I wish you had to fucking fight it out.

[00:15:26] But there was...

[00:15:27] I think it was at the beginning of World War I, the Americans just showed up wearing like...

[00:15:30] The dough boys.

[00:15:31] Yeah, like cardboard clothes and fucking riding horses in the machine gun fight.

[00:15:36] That's awesome.

[00:15:38] It's funnier to think of Polish people doing it.

[00:15:40] No, it's a really good Wikipedia entry.

[00:15:43] Polish military world war.

[00:15:45] Yeah.

[00:15:46] Yeah.

[00:15:47] You're telling me with the help of some Jews, Hitler couldn't trick those guys into giving

[00:15:50] up fucking war so easy, dude.

[00:15:52] They're drunk already.

[00:15:54] Yeah.

[00:15:55] He fucked up, dude.

[00:15:56] And that's what I've always said.

[00:15:57] Yeah.

[00:15:58] Hitler fucked up.

[00:15:59] That's a long bit, my stance.

[00:16:03] I'm trying to think of how I had a good English teacher.

[00:16:05] I had an English teacher that I had a nice variety.

[00:16:08] I had a couple old black ladies.

[00:16:12] One was really fucking...

[00:16:14] She was really good.

[00:16:16] We would have really good discussions.

[00:16:18] And then out of nowhere she was so religious.

[00:16:20] She was like born again.

[00:16:21] And so out of nowhere she would just hit you with some super annoying...

[00:16:26] And so we'd be talking about a gay character or something.

[00:16:28] And then she'd be like...

[00:16:29] And obviously their lifestyle is disgusting.

[00:16:32] And she'd be really good at the themes and all this shit.

[00:16:35] And then out of nowhere she'd hit you with abortion.

[00:16:38] You'll go to hell.

[00:16:39] It's like, okay, bitch.

[00:16:42] And then I had that perfect traditional...

[00:16:48] What every gay kid now talks about, which is like...

[00:16:51] Yeah, your English teacher.

[00:16:53] Pleasure to have in class type of like the young, white, idealistic English teacher that

[00:16:59] comes to teach in Baltimore City or whatever.

[00:17:02] Oh, the Teach for America, kid?

[00:17:03] Yeah, she had those kind of vibes.

[00:17:05] But I felt bad for her because she was pretty young.

[00:17:09] My girl was going straight up bald, like female baldness where it's just like a weird little...

[00:17:15] It looks like...

[00:17:16] I don't know what the fuck.

[00:17:18] God, daiphy is the Greek dessert.

[00:17:19] But it's like...

[00:17:20] I don't know.

[00:17:21] I don't know.

[00:17:22] I do feel like...

[00:17:23] I just...

[00:17:24] Like, mining for a reference and going to desserts that exist outside the bounds of eating

[00:17:29] the slime.

[00:17:30] It sounds like a word from dude.

[00:17:33] Yeah, it's like fucking...

[00:17:36] She sure I've had a coma.

[00:17:38] Yeah, just wispy.

[00:17:39] Wispy, yeah, yeah.

[00:17:40] Fuck, what's got daiphy?

[00:17:41] Anyway, what kind of dessert is that?

[00:17:43] It's called the bald woman.

[00:17:45] It's called the bald woman.

[00:17:47] It's like honey and it's like these spindly things of philo.

[00:17:51] Oh, I think I've seen that.

[00:17:54] Anyway...

[00:17:55] It's weird being a balding woman because it's like, what do you do with that?

[00:17:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:17:59] No, you're fucked.

[00:18:00] Yeah, you just have to not acknowledge that.

[00:18:03] Is this shit?

[00:18:04] Has it ever seen that?

[00:18:05] You get a wig, honestly.

[00:18:06] I'm going to start wearing a tape that looks like that.

[00:18:09] A piece.

[00:18:10] You got all bakeries, it's always shit like that.

[00:18:12] It's like baklava with spindles on top.

[00:18:15] It's spindly philo, dude.

[00:18:16] I don't know the difference between that and rugelock.

[00:18:19] No, come on, rugel.

[00:18:20] No, that's different.

[00:18:21] That's different.

[00:18:22] I know it's different, but I don't know.

[00:18:24] I don't know desserts.

[00:18:25] I don't know vegetables.

[00:18:26] Dude, there is a place...

[00:18:27] There is a place...

[00:18:28] It's fine strands of dough wrapped around the nut filling.

[00:18:31] It's kind of like my fucking father.

[00:18:33] It's that lady's head look like.

[00:18:34] That's what the lady's...

[00:18:35] That's fine strands of philo, though.

[00:18:37] Yeah, that's a rough look for a lady.

[00:18:39] And I had a bad boy transformation in the middle of...

[00:18:42] That year?

[00:18:43] I was like, for the ninth grade or whatever.

[00:18:46] I don't remember when it was.

[00:18:47] I had like an acting out phase where I turned into...

[00:18:49] I was just like, you know what?

[00:18:51] I'm not one of the gay kids who likes English.

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:55] I'm not good.

[00:18:56] I'm cool now.

[00:18:57] I started selling weed.

[00:18:58] Yeah.

[00:18:59] And I was like, I'm a fucking bad boy.

[00:19:00] So...

[00:19:01] And then she went from liking me to being like...

[00:19:04] Say, you are not the kid I had last year.

[00:19:07] You lied to me.

[00:19:08] Or some shit like that.

[00:19:09] It's like, bitch, check your fucking feelings.

[00:19:11] I'm a fucking...

[00:19:12] I don't give a fuck.

[00:19:13] Maybe that's why she went bald.

[00:19:14] She was like, I'm going to show him how bad it's going to be.

[00:19:17] Yeah.

[00:19:18] He's going to end up here.

[00:19:20] He's still doing good.

[00:19:21] I listen, I have no ill will towards her.

[00:19:24] And then my last...

[00:19:25] This is somewhere looking like Mr. Garrison.

[00:19:27] Yeah, dude.

[00:19:28] It's tough.

[00:19:29] And then my last thing that she was...

[00:19:31] She was just like straight up fucking senile and stupid as shit.

[00:19:35] It was fucking awesome.

[00:19:37] That was so fun.

[00:19:38] You can cheat so easily.

[00:19:39] Having a senile teacher was probably one of the most fun things.

[00:19:42] She was like cross...

[00:19:43] If she took her eyes, she was one of those people that if she took her glasses off, her eyes

[00:19:48] just stopped focusing.

[00:19:50] Like she had like super strong glasses.

[00:19:53] And yeah, she was awesome.

[00:19:55] She was so fucking stupid.

[00:19:56] It was easy to cheat in that class.

[00:19:57] But I didn't learn shit that whole year.

[00:19:59] That was a cliff notes a year because it was like this bitch doesn't.

[00:20:02] I never really even bothered to cheat.

[00:20:04] I just failed everything.

[00:20:06] Yeah.

[00:20:07] Respect.

[00:20:08] You were more honest.

[00:20:09] Well, I was only honest.

[00:20:11] You know what I thought about it because I used to think it's like, Tim, I was just like

[00:20:14] a lazy kind of loser, which I am.

[00:20:16] But it's also too, it's like I knew I just wanted to do stand up the whole time.

[00:20:21] That's going to be that knowledge that early.

[00:20:24] I thought I wanted to be the president of the United States.

[00:20:27] I thought I could cheat my way up there.

[00:20:29] Yeah, no, literally, there's the only thing I ever wanted to do.

[00:20:31] So I think back and it's like I would always try to be the funniest.

[00:20:35] Yeah.

[00:20:36] And that was like school work for me.

[00:20:37] Right.

[00:20:38] You would punch in.

[00:20:39] You had to get a laugh.

[00:20:40] See, I was in denial and I would be the funniest just like, because I was just like, this is

[00:20:46] a fucking gay.

[00:20:47] Let me make fun of somebody.

[00:20:48] I hate working.

[00:20:49] It was really powerful to make fun of an adult teacher and make all of the kids in class.

[00:20:54] Yeah, it's one of the best.

[00:20:55] It's never happened to you.

[00:20:56] Yeah, that did not happen.

[00:20:57] Yeah, but mostly Adam was happy.

[00:20:58] I was really mean.

[00:20:59] They played about the teacher.

[00:21:00] Like we're going to learn English today, but just real quick, let's take a look at the

[00:21:03] cheese faggot over here.

[00:21:05] That's not true.

[00:21:07] But I point your attention to the cheese faggot.

[00:21:13] Price check on cheese faggot, I'll warn.

[00:21:15] Even though the price check on cheese faggot, trying to speak without raising his gay hand.

[00:21:22] That's a matter of pussy.

[00:21:25] Risk to limp.

[00:21:26] Yeah, it's true.

[00:21:27] Hand to.

[00:21:28] Welcome to class.

[00:21:29] Hand to heavy.

[00:21:31] Welcome to badass English.

[00:21:32] I'm going to make Shakespeare cool.

[00:21:35] We're art thou Romeo.

[00:21:36] Are you in the cheese aisle?

[00:21:38] Getting sucked off.

[00:21:40] Getting fucking special cheese that tastes like piss.

[00:21:43] Why are the cheese?

[00:21:44] I don't even like cheese.

[00:21:45] Nobody remembers.

[00:21:46] We don't remember, but we remember that you were.

[00:21:49] It's class.

[00:21:50] That's called the pocketful knowledge.

[00:21:52] Write that word down.

[00:21:53] Yep.

[00:21:54] APOC, RYPHAL.

[00:21:55] Very good.

[00:21:56] Very nice.

[00:21:57] And what that means is we don't know why he's the cheese faggot.

[00:22:00] We don't remember.

[00:22:01] We don't remember.

[00:22:02] It's been lost to time.

[00:22:03] But one thing is for sure.

[00:22:04] He is.

[00:22:05] He is.

[00:22:06] He is.

[00:22:07] And we got a good laugh at the time.

[00:22:11] And again, yes.

[00:22:12] The only record is the laughter itself.

[00:22:15] Well because we remembered after you became, you also became the.

[00:22:19] It carries through.

[00:22:21] The Oatmeal Raisin Faggot.

[00:22:22] Like when you forget the face of your dead grandfather, but you remember his voice.

[00:22:27] The feeling he gave you.

[00:22:29] When he made you look through garbage in the streets of Athens for good stuff.

[00:22:34] Before we arrived.

[00:22:36] When you were raccoon and grandpa.

[00:22:38] He really was.

[00:22:39] And you got another word for his.

[00:22:40] He's two pock-re-fool, which is how we don't know who Lamar's dad is.

[00:22:44] But we know he definitely had one.

[00:22:46] That's the teacher picking on the black kid class.

[00:22:48] And he was like, damn, I'm sorry, remember the cheese faggot?

[00:22:52] Yeah.

[00:22:53] Yeah.

[00:22:54] Yeah, that's a good way of getting out of going there.

[00:22:57] Yeah.

[00:22:58] Yeah, that's my boy, Stavros Halky.

[00:22:59] My namesake.

[00:23:00] RIP.

[00:23:01] It's worth it.

[00:23:02] It's called Swiss cheese and not Jewish cheese.

[00:23:04] Why?

[00:23:05] Because it's less cheese.

[00:23:06] It's less cheese.

[00:23:07] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:23:08] They're like, maybe we cut a couple of holes.

[00:23:11] And so the, it's all the holes are string cheese.

[00:23:13] That's smart.

[00:23:15] That's really smart.

[00:23:16] And we'll blame it on Swiss people.

[00:23:18] Right.

[00:23:19] We'll blame it on them.

[00:23:20] What are they going to do?

[00:23:21] They don't have an arm.

[00:23:22] They don't have an arm.

[00:23:23] No one's going to go with the wall.

[00:23:24] They can't, they're neutral.

[00:23:25] They can't go to war.

[00:23:26] And Hitler discovered that plan.

[00:23:27] And he was like, I gotta stand up for my...

[00:23:29] That was the beginning of the end.

[00:23:30] That was Santa for the Swiss.

[00:23:31] My two tonic Swiss brothers.

[00:23:33] Which two tonic mean?

[00:23:34] German, I think.

[00:23:35] Nice.

[00:23:36] I honestly have no idea.

[00:23:37] Does it?

[00:23:38] No, in general.

[00:23:39] I mean, I guess you can use it as a stand in, but I don't know exactly what the twotons are,

[00:23:44] what that fucking...

[00:23:45] It sounds cool.

[00:23:46] The two tons on the school.

[00:23:48] Two tonic.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:50] Oh, dang.

[00:23:51] I'm sure that's a type of people that...

[00:23:55] One of these like new...

[00:23:56] The new...

[00:23:57] I guess like the young Germanic, tribal, Celtic tribe mentioned by Greek and Roman authors.

[00:24:03] Yeah.

[00:24:04] The...

[00:24:05] Oh, no.

[00:24:06] The...

[00:24:07] Having qualities related to classical German...

[00:24:08] Yeah, it's like just saying I was saying gala, it means roughly French, but not necessarily.

[00:24:11] Yeah.

[00:24:12] So it's the equivalent of that?

[00:24:13] Yeah.

[00:24:14] The twotons.

[00:24:15] I'm sure one of these new...

[00:24:16] Crazy that if you're like a right-wing person now and you're young, you have to be into

[00:24:21] like occultism and...

[00:24:22] Yeah, yeah.

[00:24:23] Like know all this shit about fucking...

[00:24:25] So that's your history?

[00:24:26] I guess.

[00:24:27] I don't know.

[00:24:28] That seems stupid to me.

[00:24:29] That's...

[00:24:30] I guess that's the old...

[00:24:31] That's like...

[00:24:32] They all have to go to fucking like Latin Mass.

[00:24:34] It's so funny, dude.

[00:24:35] Yeah, everyone pretends to be like religious from like 400 years ago.

[00:24:39] Well, the ultimate conclusion is they all become pagan.

[00:24:42] Right.

[00:24:43] They all go far enough back.

[00:24:45] Hey, but if that just ends up being fucking having gay sex with the woods.

[00:24:49] They're doing Saturnalia.

[00:24:51] On Christmas, they're like me and all my fucking...

[00:24:53] Dude, everything is a circle.

[00:24:54] They're all just going to turn into a bunch of fat women having sex with each other in

[00:24:57] the woods.

[00:24:58] Yeah.

[00:24:59] And it's like at that point, you might as well just go to college.

[00:25:00] Yep.

[00:25:01] And then what Amherst is?

[00:25:02] Yeah, just...

[00:25:03] Just...

[00:25:04] Just...

[00:25:05] Just...

[00:25:06] Just...

[00:25:07] Just...

[00:25:08] Just...

[00:25:09] Just being racist.

[00:25:10] It's way easier.

[00:25:11] Yeah.

[00:25:12] It is funny, everyone's like talking about...

[00:25:13] Yeah, it does seem like racist people love like...

[00:25:14] Just that alt-right...

[00:25:15] Just...

[00:25:16] Like, because you know, I mean, I guess everything kind of just exists like on a...

[00:25:20] You know, like a superficial way.

[00:25:21] But that alt-right is set.

[00:25:22] It kind of just like completely evaporated.

[00:25:24] Like what is...

[00:25:25] I guess a lot of the top guys like went to jail or something.

[00:25:29] Right.

[00:25:30] Was it Richard Spencer?

[00:25:31] Spencer.

[00:25:32] Oh, that guy.

[00:25:33] Yeah.

[00:25:34] I think it just came out that he's like divorced and broke and...

[00:25:37] Yeah.

[00:25:38] That's pretty funny.

[00:25:39] Yeah.

[00:25:40] His life is kind of bad.

[00:25:41] It was pretty funny when he got punched.

[00:25:42] Yeah.

[00:25:43] He had Pepe the frog button.

[00:25:46] It was kind of a lame punch, I feel.

[00:25:49] I was just funny he got punched.

[00:25:51] Wasn't as satisfying as...

[00:25:53] It wasn't as satisfying as you'd like, but it was, you know...

[00:25:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:25:56] He can't ask from that much.

[00:25:57] I always said he had the vibe of a former fat.

[00:25:59] 100%.

[00:26:00] You know what I mean?

[00:26:01] Excuse me?

[00:26:02] He had the vibe of a former fat.

[00:26:05] But you know what?

[00:26:06] No, that is exactly right.

[00:26:07] There's a particular evil about certain former fat people.

[00:26:09] Well, yeah, if you don't learn how to be funny and you just lose weight out of spite instead

[00:26:12] of...

[00:26:13] And the thing is...

[00:26:14] So you're just smoking a bunch of cigarettes and not taking care of yourself.

[00:26:17] You look for a way to get pussy, right?

[00:26:19] Right.

[00:26:20] And the perfect ways to learn to be funny.

[00:26:24] Because that's a fun, you're personable, all that shit.

[00:26:26] You have to learn social cues.

[00:26:28] See, I honestly disagree because I really don't think that I tried to learn how to be funny

[00:26:34] to get pussy.

[00:26:35] It just seemed like that's what you do.

[00:26:39] Well, you also...

[00:26:40] Okay, let me put it this way.

[00:26:42] I mean, you just lost weight and you were going to be funny, whatever.

[00:26:46] But I'm talking about the pudgy, doughy assholes that lose weight to get pussy.

[00:26:50] They also...

[00:26:51] They have to figure out some kind of personality, some kind of trick to get...

[00:26:54] You lose weight to get pussy.

[00:26:55] And the one women like the most is prep boy Nazi.

[00:26:58] Well, that's what I'm saying.

[00:27:00] He found a way to like...

[00:27:01] That was his ticket probably.

[00:27:03] There was a group of women that like...

[00:27:05] They were fucking nuts.

[00:27:06] Most people that have an identity, most dudes that have some weird identity, it's because

[00:27:11] they got pussy from it one time.

[00:27:13] And they were like, all right, I'm going to listen to my whole life.

[00:27:16] I'm going to keep doing this over and over again.

[00:27:18] So that's definitely what happened with that guy, with that question.

[00:27:21] Some dumb fucking bitch that was like, you know...

[00:27:24] I don't know, abortion's bad.

[00:27:26] You know what I mean?

[00:27:27] Like, fucking...

[00:27:28] I'm religious and I'm scared of Mexicans.

[00:27:32] He was like, yup, me too.

[00:27:35] And then he just stayed racist.

[00:27:39] That's my guess anyway.

[00:27:40] That's why I kind of have a hip hop vibe about me.

[00:27:42] I got pussy one time from convinced here a girl that...

[00:27:47] No, you got pussy one time from an Asian girl and look at you now.

[00:27:51] Yeah.

[00:27:52] Look how far I've come.

[00:27:54] Chasing the dragon.

[00:27:58] That's why you moved to New York and you just reap the benefits that...

[00:28:02] It moves to Flushing Queens.

[00:28:03] That Woody Harrelson now.

[00:28:06] Woody Harrelson.

[00:28:07] Woody Harrelson.

[00:28:08] White man can't get no Chinese question.

[00:28:10] I got very...

[00:28:11] Oh, stop.

[00:28:12] I got very disappointed to find out he's because of COVID.

[00:28:15] He's not doing his jazz show.

[00:28:16] He's not doing jazz at the car low at the car.

[00:28:18] Fuck, dude.

[00:28:19] At all?

[00:28:20] I think he's...

[00:28:21] I think he's not doing it.

[00:28:22] He won't even do vaxxed and mask.

[00:28:24] The show is just clear.

[00:28:26] Yeah, dude.

[00:28:27] You know that guy's not...

[00:28:28] No, no, that's not the kind of guy that...

[00:28:30] That's not a risk-taking.

[00:28:31] Woody is absolutely still like...

[00:28:33] He only takes his risks in one particular way.

[00:28:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:28:36] Exactly.

[00:28:37] He plays incredibly safe.

[00:28:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:40] What?

[00:28:41] Disappointing number?

[00:28:43] I mean, I'm just shocked.

[00:28:45] I'm called.

[00:28:46] I am shocked.

[00:28:49] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:50] Um...

[00:28:51] Ah, I remember a smoothie.

[00:28:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:56] Well, I'll talk about your teacher's Nick.

[00:28:58] Yeah.

[00:28:59] Do you remember any memorable teachers?

[00:29:00] I never had any kind of like special relationship with the teacher.

[00:29:03] Not a single one.

[00:29:04] Nah, I was always checked out.

[00:29:05] There wasn't one that gave it a shot, probably there was.

[00:29:08] No.

[00:29:09] No?

[00:29:10] No, yeah, no.

[00:29:11] You were just that much of a little piece of shit.

[00:29:13] I mean, I wasn't...

[00:29:14] It was just like...

[00:29:15] You just show up to school.

[00:29:16] It was kind of...

[00:29:17] Everything was in one ear, out the other.

[00:29:19] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:20] I probably like, what...

[00:29:21] Doctors now, because it didn't exist at the time.

[00:29:24] It was called like ADHD or...

[00:29:26] It definitely exists.

[00:29:27] What are you talking about?

[00:29:28] There's so many kids in our fucking...

[00:29:29] They were putting kids on riddling and shit.

[00:29:31] Yeah, it was...

[00:29:32] It was rich kids.

[00:29:33] It was always like...

[00:29:35] It was rich kids that were like fucking acting.

[00:29:37] I mean, they tried to put my little brother on Nick.

[00:29:39] My brother Nick.

[00:29:40] He was just like completely hyperactive as a kid.

[00:29:43] But he had like little kid energy.

[00:29:45] And he was just a little...

[00:29:46] My boy was a little dumb back in the day.

[00:29:48] It must be a learning...

[00:29:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:29:50] But Nick's...

[00:29:51] I mean, but my parents were like, no, fuck that.

[00:29:54] And...

[00:29:55] Which is good.

[00:29:56] I think it would...

[00:29:57] You don't want to put fucking...

[00:29:58] You want to give kids fast?

[00:29:59] The best.

[00:30:00] Yeah.

[00:30:01] You got to start doing that shit as a teenager.

[00:30:03] Yeah, you do it in fucking...

[00:30:04] On your own.

[00:30:05] Exactly.

[00:30:06] You got to make an adult decision.

[00:30:07] It's a self-medicate as an adult.

[00:30:09] Yeah.

[00:30:10] And if your mom's giving you drugs,

[00:30:12] it's not going to make drugs seem cool.

[00:30:14] Exactly.

[00:30:15] You're not going to have one to do drugs.

[00:30:16] Exactly.

[00:30:17] Yeah, like I met fucking people that were like on Adderall since they were like 11.

[00:30:21] Oh, it changes your brain chemistry.

[00:30:23] They're weird.

[00:30:24] They're looking weird.

[00:30:25] But damn, there was never a...

[00:30:27] Was there any adult figure...

[00:30:29] Not in your family that you had like a...

[00:30:32] That took an interest.

[00:30:34] Honestly, I mean, it's like...

[00:30:36] This is boring.

[00:30:37] It cares.

[00:30:38] But yeah, it literally...

[00:30:39] If I think to my childhood,

[00:30:41] what was an influence on me growing up,

[00:30:44] there is no other answer other than like the Simpsons that they taught me.

[00:30:48] Yeah, I was going to suggest that.

[00:30:50] I really isn't.

[00:30:52] I would think about the Simpsons constantly.

[00:30:55] I fucking like just like would deconstruct

[00:30:58] all of the jokes in my head and think about it.

[00:31:00] I got to the level like I knew like the fucking like serial numbers of episodes.

[00:31:05] Oh, that's sick, dude.

[00:31:07] Yeah, just like really...

[00:31:08] I like really just was like only thought about the Simpsons.

[00:31:11] That's fucking...

[00:31:12] That's actually really cute.

[00:31:13] Yeah.

[00:31:14] Because I was like, I would watch it, but it was like I'm just...

[00:31:16] It's like kind of in one ear out the other.

[00:31:18] No, it was weird because I stopped watching it.

[00:31:20] I stopped watching it when it was like, you know, it got bad or whatever.

[00:31:23] But then when we all started hanging out,

[00:31:25] I remember going over like,

[00:31:26] was his name Romaine?

[00:31:28] Yeah, Romaine.

[00:31:29] I always think that's not his name because it's his type of lettuce.

[00:31:32] It's his type of lettuce.

[00:31:33] Yeah.

[00:31:34] Well, it's like, you know, if there was a black guy,

[00:31:36] I was like, what's his name again? Asparagus?

[00:31:38] Yeah, Arugula.

[00:31:39] We're going over a Arugula's.

[00:31:40] Arugula's Arugula's player.

[00:31:42] I'd be like, that's not right.

[00:31:43] The Romaine had the nice setup though.

[00:31:45] He had the fucking video game.

[00:31:46] He was divorced.

[00:31:47] He was divorced.

[00:31:48] He had a Marvel versus Capcom tournament that he used to run.

[00:31:52] That was the best thing to be in your early 20s.

[00:31:54] And he's been divorced and has like the remnants.

[00:31:57] We would watch the Simpsons.

[00:31:58] We would build his own gaming consoles too.

[00:32:01] So, so.

[00:32:02] We would watch the Simpsons there.

[00:32:03] And it was like, I had not sat down and watched that show.

[00:32:05] And it was like kind of like a weird,

[00:32:07] almost like religious experience.

[00:32:09] Like going back to church.

[00:32:11] You were born again.

[00:32:12] Because there is like, I have like an emotional connection to some of those older episodes.

[00:32:17] Yeah, of course.

[00:32:18] Yeah, you remember.

[00:32:20] You remember the shit you were going through.

[00:32:21] And then yeah, a lot of like a lot of TV.

[00:32:24] Yeah.

[00:32:25] A lot of like, but you know, just bad.

[00:32:27] Like just bad TV.

[00:32:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:30] Yeah, of course.

[00:32:31] Like I remember, yeah, I have like, you know, that show Viper I put off.

[00:32:34] Of course.

[00:32:35] There's a two part episode with a, with an autistic savant.

[00:32:38] Yes.

[00:32:39] And really as a child that did something to you.

[00:32:43] Well, I felt connected.

[00:32:44] I felt bad.

[00:32:45] I felt bad for the retard that had to like team up with the car.

[00:32:50] Because he's just helpless retard.

[00:32:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:53] And then you went back to your spreadsheet as a seven year old on Simpson's serial numbers.

[00:32:59] That's like, that's so funny.

[00:33:02] Yeah.

[00:33:03] No, that's, that makes sense though.

[00:33:05] There was never like a fucking, like an uncle that got you McDonald or some shit like that.

[00:33:10] No, I wasn't molested by anybody.

[00:33:13] No, no, I'm not turning it to my last station.

[00:33:15] I know that's where you're going.

[00:33:16] I was not.

[00:33:17] We've established you were molested.

[00:33:18] You could talk.

[00:33:20] But it wasn't by a mentor.

[00:33:22] Yeah.

[00:33:23] It's important to know that I wasn't.

[00:33:25] You could also talk to an adult without being molested.

[00:33:28] No, I'm just giving you a simple answer, which is like, no, there was, I wasn't inspired by anybody.

[00:33:32] Interesting.

[00:33:33] Imagine what one hug from like one cool old guy.

[00:33:36] No, it's just a dozen.

[00:33:37] Like that didn't.

[00:33:38] Yeah, that didn't matter.

[00:33:40] It was like, yeah, just being funny was the only thing.

[00:33:43] Yeah, I get that.

[00:33:44] I had a bunch, like because I had like a friend of the family that would like take me out

[00:33:49] to make that was so fucking awesome.

[00:33:51] McDonald's.

[00:33:52] Somebody would get you just like an adult would like break from the pattern your gay ass parents

[00:33:56] made you live in.

[00:33:57] They would take you to like, you know, get a bio.

[00:33:59] It was like my name date Greek people love name days.

[00:34:02] What's that?

[00:34:03] It's like after your saint day.

[00:34:05] Because it's like we're still even though no one's religious, the culture is still very much based on like fucking Greek.

[00:34:10] That's what they would call it.

[00:34:11] They say it's your name day and this guy would come over and it's fine excuses.

[00:34:15] It takes out the McDonald's.

[00:34:17] They came up with something called name day.

[00:34:19] No, it's real.

[00:34:20] It wasn't me scheming as a little kid to get more McDonald's.

[00:34:25] It's name day that means it's Mickey D's.

[00:34:28] September 14th, baby, the day of the cross.

[00:34:31] Because Stavros means cross in Greek.

[00:34:34] Oh, wow.

[00:34:35] So it's like a I gotta add that to my calendar.

[00:34:37] Yeah, thank you.

[00:34:38] And I would like a gift.

[00:34:40] You get it.

[00:34:41] You get it.

[00:34:42] What day is September 14th?

[00:34:44] 14th.

[00:34:45] Yeah.

[00:34:46] Why is that day significant?

[00:34:47] It's my name day.

[00:34:48] No, I think that's somebody's birthday.

[00:34:50] Who's my name day?

[00:34:51] I can't remember.

[00:34:52] It's good in your life.

[00:34:54] It's like Rommel's birthday.

[00:34:55] It's like your life day.

[00:34:57] You eventually have so many birthdays in your head.

[00:35:00] It's like, you know, it's either the fucking all uh, uh, they every day.

[00:35:05] Yeah, every day is like, oh, it's somebody's birthday.

[00:35:08] I found out a good friend of mine.

[00:35:11] He was born on 11th, the 2nd of November, and I'm 211.

[00:35:18] And we've been friends for like forever.

[00:35:20] And we just, you know, you just don't know your male friend's birthday's ever.

[00:35:24] I will never remember another man's birthday.

[00:35:26] Yeah.

[00:35:27] And we found out late in life that it's literally the opposite.

[00:35:31] Here's some famous birthdays on September 14th.

[00:35:34] Amy Winehouse.

[00:35:35] Oh, uh.

[00:35:36] Lee John Sook.

[00:35:37] I know who you're thinking of, Nick.

[00:35:38] Yeah, it's Lee John Sook's birthday.

[00:35:40] Dimitri Medvedev.

[00:35:41] I got a, I got some lean jeans you can Sukhon.

[00:35:45] Nas.

[00:35:46] Jimmy Butler.

[00:35:48] Sam Neal.

[00:35:49] That's a good one.

[00:35:51] Actually, the mouth of madness.

[00:35:52] Not that good.

[00:35:53] He's putting his cock in there.

[00:35:54] He's only that good.

[00:35:55] A bunch of fucking motherfuckers I never heard of.

[00:36:00] Um, anyway, uh, yeah, dude, I fucking love that.

[00:36:04] I used to love that shit.

[00:36:05] But I got a yo-yo on my name day.

[00:36:07] Shouts out to my mom's friend.

[00:36:09] Did it go?

[00:36:10] Was it like with a sleeper?

[00:36:12] Remember that, that era dude, the sleeper.

[00:36:14] Remember when yo-yo walked the dog, the baby cradle?

[00:36:17] That was the only good trick I ever got where you like would fold it up in a triangle.

[00:36:21] Oh, yeah.

[00:36:22] Yeah.

[00:36:23] Back and forth.

[00:36:24] Rock the cradle.

[00:36:25] Hell yeah, dude.

[00:36:26] That was fucking sick.

[00:36:27] I got a chair.

[00:36:28] I think it was called the cherry.

[00:36:29] Dude, going to East Point Mall.

[00:36:30] Dunkin' was the brand, right?

[00:36:32] There's a couple different competing brands.

[00:36:36] Maybe I'm just remembering.

[00:36:37] There was a kid speaking to the symptoms.

[00:36:38] There was a kid named George who hated Greek school because I had to go to Greek school

[00:36:43] three days a week after regular school.

[00:36:46] And this kid hated it and he had one of those little TV's with Montana and he literally

[00:36:50] watched The Simpsons.

[00:36:51] He got fucking thrown.

[00:36:53] He got his shit confiscated.

[00:36:55] Dumbass shit.

[00:36:56] I mean, yeah, what do you think you're going to do?

[00:36:58] Pull a TV out and pass.

[00:36:59] Well, he thought, I mean, because that's the kind of shit Bart would literally do.

[00:37:02] He thought he was Bart.

[00:37:04] He was a little troublemaker.

[00:37:06] He got kicked out of class a bunch and he had weird, sleepy eyes as a little kid.

[00:37:12] Where's he Chinese?

[00:37:13] Did he have FAS?

[00:37:14] Maybe he had FAS.

[00:37:15] He might have.

[00:37:16] He has Greek Chinese.

[00:37:17] No, he was not Greek Chinese.

[00:37:20] Unfortunately, I didn't go to Greek school with any mixed Greek kids, which is something

[00:37:27] I hope to change.

[00:37:29] Really?

[00:37:30] I hope to have a...

[00:37:31] Maybe you want to mix with.

[00:37:32] Yeah, who's to say?

[00:37:33] I'm just open.

[00:37:34] We just got to stop making white people.

[00:37:37] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:37:38] You know what I'm saying?

[00:37:39] It's got to look like the Ravens, I on.

[00:37:41] Absolutely.

[00:37:42] Everyone's mixed.

[00:37:43] Everyone's got to be a nice beige.

[00:37:44] Yeah.

[00:37:45] And how you got there doesn't really matter.

[00:37:47] No.

[00:37:48] But let's get beige.

[00:37:49] Yeah.

[00:37:50] Let's get a bunch of...

[00:37:51] The end goal is Rashida Jones.

[00:37:52] Tiger Woods.

[00:37:53] And let's get there a little...

[00:37:55] Yeah.

[00:37:56] Tiger Woods.

[00:37:57] I don't know, dude.

[00:37:59] Or I would have just adopted a little kid.

[00:38:02] I do feel like if I have kids...

[00:38:03] My goal is to just breed out neurotypical people.

[00:38:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:38:07] That's so...

[00:38:08] It sounds so derogatory.

[00:38:09] What are you neurotypical?

[00:38:11] Yeah.

[00:38:12] You got to start going on a...

[00:38:13] Neuro basic.

[00:38:14] You just start going on a Genghis Khan.

[00:38:16] Yeah.

[00:38:17] Just Genghis Khan.

[00:38:18] I got to find some Mongol books.

[00:38:22] Yeah.

[00:38:23] That shit is awesome.

[00:38:24] Yeah.

[00:38:25] That motherfucker.

[00:38:26] And then their system was so stupid.

[00:38:28] They would go somewhere, fuck everybody up, take all the men, force them to be in the

[00:38:33] army, but then make these little multi-ethnic or racial army units.

[00:38:38] Yeah.

[00:38:39] And everything was just based around the military.

[00:38:41] Yeah.

[00:38:42] But then you're throwing in with nine other guys to speak a different language.

[00:38:44] Yeah.

[00:38:45] Yeah.

[00:38:46] Yeah.

[00:38:47] Yeah.

[00:38:48] Yeah.

[00:38:49] Yeah.

[00:38:50] Yeah.

[00:38:51] Yeah.

[00:38:52] Yeah.

[00:38:53] Yeah.

[00:38:54] Yeah.

[00:38:55] Yeah.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:57] Yeah.

[00:38:58] Yeah.

[00:38:59] It's a pyramid skin.

[00:39:01] But if you don't agree, they kill you.

[00:39:04] And he took over the entire fucking world.

[00:39:06] It's awesome.

[00:39:07] Yeah.

[00:39:08] Which is like horses and dumb hats.

[00:39:09] Yeah.

[00:39:10] Do they build a city?

[00:39:12] I don't know.

[00:39:13] I mean, I know nothing about it.

[00:39:14] I don't think so.

[00:39:15] I think...

[00:39:16] And that goes to show you just a clear, simple, concise plan.

[00:39:18] Yeah.

[00:39:19] Just fuck no diplomacy.

[00:39:20] Yeah.

[00:39:21] No nothing.

[00:39:22] We are fucking you up.

[00:39:23] Yeah.

[00:39:24] We are getting as much pussy as we want.

[00:39:25] Well, that's what's funny about the...

[00:39:26] We keep it moving.

[00:39:27] Right.

[00:39:28] Like, the two...

[00:39:29] The guys who know what to tonic means.

[00:39:31] Right.

[00:39:32] Because it's like they're ancestors.

[00:39:33] It's like, did they do anything?

[00:39:34] It seems like they just got fucking like just wrecked constantly.

[00:39:37] Yeah.

[00:39:38] That whole region was just like people taking turns wrecking.

[00:39:40] Yeah.

[00:39:41] In Western Europe, I think the people that did the most like...

[00:39:44] And again, I don't know.

[00:39:46] We don't know anything to people.

[00:39:47] But the...

[00:39:48] But the...

[00:39:49] The...

[00:39:50] Yeah.

[00:39:51] Like the Frankish Empire, which is just French faggots.

[00:39:52] And then one half of them became Germans.

[00:39:54] Yeah.

[00:39:55] That's the thing that always confused me about that.

[00:39:57] Everything's tribes and it's like...

[00:39:59] Yeah.

[00:40:00] It's before the...

[00:40:01] Before our modern conception of the countries.

[00:40:02] But I feel like the only...

[00:40:04] The Vikings were doing some wild shit, but everybody else...

[00:40:06] The Vikings were back.

[00:40:07] Because in the period, it sounds like Rome falls and like 600 or something like that.

[00:40:11] And the Vikings fuck their asses.

[00:40:13] Yeah.

[00:40:14] Northern Europe, but then in the south there is like the Frankish Empire.

[00:40:17] I don't fucking know.

[00:40:19] Yeah.

[00:40:20] Yeah.

[00:40:21] I wonder what Greece was up to at that time.

[00:40:22] Because that was before they got their asses fucked by the Ottomans.

[00:40:25] So fucking dogs.

[00:40:26] I can't stand them.

[00:40:27] I'm gonna...

[00:40:28] I really want to learn about Greece as like whole fucking history.

[00:40:31] Because you know about all the fucking ancient ship.

[00:40:34] Yeah.

[00:40:35] I feel like we up to the 700s.

[00:40:36] I feel like they caught like a couple big elves.

[00:40:39] Well for sure.

[00:40:40] The Ottoman Empire.

[00:40:41] We got elves on top of elves.

[00:40:43] But that's how we got...

[00:40:44] The bottom...

[00:40:45] The Greek used to be called the Bottom Man Empire.

[00:40:48] No it wasn't.

[00:40:49] The Bottom Man.

[00:40:50] The Bottom Man Empire.

[00:40:51] No.

[00:40:52] In fact, thank you very much.

[00:40:53] They considered getting fucked in the ass gay, but you could fuck a man in the ass and

[00:40:57] you were straight.

[00:40:58] Well that's why they were fucked by that.

[00:41:00] Yeah, you would get made fun of if you were getting fucked.

[00:41:04] Because actually what it was is you were as a little kid.

[00:41:07] As for kids.

[00:41:08] Yeah, getting fucked in.

[00:41:09] As child is.

[00:41:10] As child's play.

[00:41:11] As child is.

[00:41:12] Literally.

[00:41:13] And they would make fun of you.

[00:41:14] And they would call you like literally they would...

[00:41:15] The insult would be you're being like a little kid.

[00:41:18] Like it would be like if we caught somebody playing with like hot wheels.

[00:41:21] Yeah.

[00:41:22] You're fucked in the ass.

[00:41:23] You're getting baby right now.

[00:41:25] Yeah dude what are you watching?

[00:41:26] What are you watching Coco Mellon and getting fucked in the ass?

[00:41:29] What's Coco Mellon?

[00:41:30] It's like a baby show.

[00:41:31] A Greek baby show?

[00:41:32] No just a regular baby show.

[00:41:34] I was just...

[00:41:35] I was just...

[00:41:36] What's Coco Mellon?

[00:41:37] We've never even heard of it.

[00:41:38] There's a baby show you watch?

[00:41:39] It's a baby show.

[00:41:40] I don't watch it.

[00:41:41] I'm aware of it.

[00:41:42] Because you're a baby?

[00:41:43] No, some of my friends have children and they mention Coco Mellon.

[00:41:46] You should see...

[00:41:47] I actually haven't seen...

[00:41:48] Stops of the ears are going flat against the top of his head right now.

[00:41:51] What is that?

[00:41:53] Humiliation.

[00:41:54] Flat against the top of his head.

[00:41:55] He's chariot red right now.

[00:41:56] His ears are folding.

[00:41:57] We're wearing headphones.

[00:41:58] In self defense.

[00:41:59] You can't even see my ears.

[00:42:01] It's got triangular ears on the top of his head.

[00:42:03] I do not have them.

[00:42:04] One of them is winking.

[00:42:06] That's not true.

[00:42:08] The other one's flopping around.

[00:42:09] I don't have little ears like a pig.

[00:42:11] I don't even know what Coco Mellon is on the clip.

[00:42:14] I didn't say only.

[00:42:15] I've never even watched one episode.

[00:42:17] I've never seen it.

[00:42:18] I've heard about it.

[00:42:20] You guys are being fucked up right now.

[00:42:23] Again, egregious.

[00:42:25] You guys are being fucked up.

[00:42:28] Yeah.

[00:42:29] What are we going to eat breakfast after this?

[00:42:34] Yeah, we're going to get a little cute brunch.

[00:42:38] Should we go out for a breakfast?

[00:42:39] No.

[00:42:40] Oh, you should have a new England breakfast?

[00:42:42] I was thinking we have a little snack.

[00:42:44] Do episode fucking two.

[00:42:45] Then we get a real prop.

[00:42:46] Maybe we get a real lunch.

[00:42:47] Get a real prop.

[00:42:48] There's that burger placed by here.

[00:42:50] We didn't try a lot.

[00:42:51] I guess we got we're surely good time because you got the phone call with the chocolate

[00:42:55] factory.

[00:42:56] It's not the chocolate factory.

[00:42:57] It's the chocolate factory.

[00:42:58] Did you see that?

[00:42:59] Did you see that like at the end of that movie where he's like, I'm giving you the candy

[00:43:03] factory and you're like, this is the luckiest boy of all time.

[00:43:06] I was, yeah, honestly, no joke.

[00:43:08] I felt bad for Augustus Gloop because I was like, I literally thought like I might have

[00:43:14] I might do some shit like you might follow the chocolate factory.

[00:43:18] You fell in the river because he was eating everything.

[00:43:20] Yeah, he was eating everything.

[00:43:21] Or wait, was that the blueberry bitch?

[00:43:23] I felt bad for her.

[00:43:24] Violet Burghard?

[00:43:25] Because it's like, come on, man.

[00:43:26] You can't take kids in a fucking chocolate factory and I expect them to have a little

[00:43:29] fucking tree.

[00:43:30] Yeah, he was acting like those kids were being acting out of pocket.

[00:43:33] He was being out of pocket.

[00:43:34] They were being brats though.

[00:43:36] True.

[00:43:37] True.

[00:43:38] And I was poor and I would be respected.

[00:43:40] That's why he had humility.

[00:43:41] Don't get me wrong.

[00:43:42] I would have been respectful, but I can't guarantee that I wouldn't have had a little fucking candy

[00:43:45] on the sneak.

[00:43:46] Both of your grandparents sleeping in the same bed.

[00:43:50] And no, all four of them.

[00:43:51] In fact, my grandparents, my paternal grandparents didn't share a bed at all.

[00:43:57] They were roommates.

[00:43:58] They should have hated each other.

[00:44:00] Yeah, I've told the story before, but it's like it was in a range of marriage.

[00:44:03] Oh, yeah, the guy from the island.

[00:44:04] It was in a range of marriage.

[00:44:06] Yeah, my fucking grandfather, Stavros, again, my hoarder that used to love going through

[00:44:11] the trash for good stuff.

[00:44:13] Who was a good guy?

[00:44:14] Don't get me wrong.

[00:44:15] You'd get homeless people meals and shit and you would just like, you would like from

[00:44:18] the trash?

[00:44:19] I know, you know, from the fucking gyro cost a euro.

[00:44:22] It's like when you feed an animal grass.

[00:44:25] Or do that, you pull the grass out in front of its face and you're in the ceiling.

[00:44:29] But you feel like you're being a good guy.

[00:44:30] Yeah.

[00:44:31] You trick it.

[00:44:32] I had a whole afternoon with a turtle doing that.

[00:44:34] There's a little right in front of its face just handing it.

[00:44:37] And it's a bit like so grateful.

[00:44:40] But yeah, they were like, it was in a range of marriage and nobody wanted to marry my

[00:44:49] grandfather.

[00:44:50] So they basically fuckable.

[00:44:51] I don't know what it was actually.

[00:44:53] He was an unfuckable Stavros, which is not running the bloodline.

[00:44:58] Thank you very much.

[00:44:59] It'll be a good TV show.

[00:45:00] The unfuckable Stavros, I'm like Kimmy Schmidt.

[00:45:04] I would love to fuck Kimmy Schmidt.

[00:45:06] Anyway, they went, they went.

[00:45:08] If you're listening to bitch who plays Kimmy Schmidt.

[00:45:10] Yeah, what a racist.

[00:45:12] Is she?

[00:45:13] Oh, yeah.

[00:45:14] Did she get in trouble for races?

[00:45:15] She was the queen of the plaintiffs.

[00:45:16] She was the like KK the St. Louis KKK that you taunt ball.

[00:45:21] That's so funny.

[00:45:22] Well, she did a dry blow job.

[00:45:24] So she gets the pass.

[00:45:25] That was a great, that was a very good vid.

[00:45:27] That's an early internet, early internet fucking Hall of Famer.

[00:45:30] Yeah.

[00:45:31] Derek comedy.

[00:45:32] They were fucking awesome.

[00:45:34] What are those guys up to?

[00:45:36] I mean, I know Donald Glover's fame.

[00:45:38] What are the other guys up to?

[00:45:40] What are those guys names?

[00:45:42] I can see their faces.

[00:45:44] What the fuck is that one guy's name?

[00:45:47] The blonde guy with long hair and the little guy?

[00:45:51] Thomas Pina.

[00:45:52] Thomas Pina.

[00:45:53] Thomas Pina.

[00:45:54] And Pina Aquinas.

[00:45:55] I think they have a sketch show at the UCB East, which is not closed.

[00:46:03] Something else now, right?

[00:46:04] What's the month?

[00:46:05] The cavernous vagina.

[00:46:08] The vagina cavern.

[00:46:10] The vagina cavern.

[00:46:14] So burgers or should I whip up some eggs real fast?

[00:46:17] I guess if you got that call.

[00:46:18] I got to call it one.

[00:46:20] Yeah, the month.

[00:46:21] So we can roll through.

[00:46:22] Take a, I mean, you know.

[00:46:24] Yeah, we're running short on.

[00:46:25] We're not running short.

[00:46:26] We're doing a lot of time.

[00:46:27] We're really not.

[00:46:28] Because we'll be done this by.

[00:46:32] I don't mean to be the time faggot here.

[00:46:34] No, listen, we'll be done in 15.

[00:46:36] What the hell is this?

[00:46:37] What is that plan?

[00:46:38] It'll be 1035.

[00:46:40] It'll be 1035.

[00:46:43] And then we do another one around.

[00:46:46] You're listening to the scheduling show.

[00:46:51] Logistics.

[00:46:52] Logistics.

[00:46:53] Because the plan was always pop out too fast as hell.

[00:46:56] Yeah.

[00:46:57] Yes.

[00:46:58] Very generous break.

[00:46:59] Yeah, we watched two entourage.

[00:47:01] Three entourage.

[00:47:02] We have a couple entourage.

[00:47:03] We have a couple entourage.

[00:47:04] I was actually driving up here and remembering that you just started entourage and that

[00:47:08] I was excited to watch.

[00:47:09] Yeah, they're about to go to New York and start Queens Boulevard.

[00:47:16] Oh, my.

[00:47:17] Yes.

[00:47:18] So let's get the places you will go.

[00:47:21] Let's watch the Queens Boulevard.

[00:47:23] Let's watch the ones on just on.

[00:47:25] It feels like they build Queens Boulevard.

[00:47:28] They know there's a movie.

[00:47:29] You know what I'm saying?

[00:47:30] The movie, Billie Wallster.

[00:47:31] I've never watched.

[00:47:32] I've never watched the episode.

[00:47:34] Let's watch the episodes.

[00:47:35] I'm going to watch it.

[00:47:36] It's the best show.

[00:47:37] Or let's watch Banshee.

[00:47:38] You guys ever seen Banshee?

[00:47:39] Banshee.

[00:47:40] Hold on one second.

[00:47:41] Boss.

[00:47:42] Coming up on boss.

[00:47:43] Not boss rules, but I just watched it.

[00:47:44] Banshee.

[00:47:45] You guys ever seen that show?

[00:47:46] I needed to touch your dick.

[00:47:47] I needed to touch your pussy.

[00:47:48] I needed to touch your pussy.

[00:47:49] You're pussy out, Banshee.

[00:47:50] I needed to touch your dick.

[00:47:52] Yeah, dude.

[00:47:53] Boss fucking rules.

[00:47:54] But no Banshee's about a guy who's been in the

[00:47:39] house.

[00:48:00] He's an ex-con that poses a sheriff.

[00:48:07] You can get a sheriff.

[00:48:08] You can try to find a few blue streets.

[00:48:10] To get his bitch back who has a new identity.

[00:48:15] They got caught stealing diamonds.

[00:48:16] You see what boss is about?

[00:48:17] No, this is Banshee.

[00:48:18] This sounds very complicated.

[00:48:19] It's very simple.

[00:48:20] What was that show?

[00:48:21] Low-winter penis.

[00:48:23] Yeah.

[00:48:24] What was that about?

[00:48:25] Or Lonesome penis?

[00:48:26] Lonesome dove.

[00:48:27] Lonesome cum.

[00:48:28] I've never seen it.

[00:48:29] Robert Duvall.

[00:48:30] Robert Duvall, huh?

[00:48:31] Yeah.

[00:48:32] What might he say in that show?

[00:48:34] You gotta suck it down low.

[00:48:36] You gotta suck a dick slow.

[00:48:37] Slow, I'm sorry, slow.

[00:48:39] You understand?

[00:48:40] You can't just...

[00:48:41] Hold the bull's face.

[00:48:42] Why don't we go down now and we suck a dick slow?

[00:48:48] Yeah, dude.

[00:48:49] Banshee's fucking sick.

[00:48:50] There's tits in it every episode.

[00:48:51] What is this?

[00:48:52] It's cable.

[00:48:53] It was on Cinemax.

[00:48:54] It was a Cinemax original.

[00:48:56] Wow.

[00:48:57] I'm gonna go to my head and banshee suck my dick.

[00:49:00] Banshee's like...

[00:49:01] Banshee.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] It's about a day labor getting rekt the gunpoint.

[00:49:05] She pulled a gun to my head and banshee suck my dick.

[00:49:08] I'm banshee fuck my ass.

[00:49:13] I'm banshee's like my dick.

[00:49:17] I'm banshee make me suck another guy's dick.

[00:49:20] Coming up on banshee.

[00:49:21] I'm banshee fuck my mouth.

[00:49:24] I'm banshee call me a bitch.

[00:49:29] Yeah, that's a really fucking good show.

[00:49:34] Banshee.

[00:49:35] I'm not going to buy you fuck my ass.

[00:49:37] I would like to see that.

[00:49:38] Banshee make me put on a drink.

[00:49:40] Banshee put makeup on me.

[00:49:42] I'm not going to call my girl.

[00:49:46] Yeah, dude.

[00:49:47] There's an Amish guy that gets pussy in it.

[00:49:50] There's an Amish drug lord in banshee proper.

[00:49:53] It's a small town.

[00:49:54] But then there's also a Russian mafia guy from New York City who's daughter, articular character.

[00:50:01] Actually not titular.

[00:50:02] Her name is banshee.

[00:50:03] I'm sorry.

[00:50:04] I used the word titular wrong.

[00:50:05] You're just thinking about tits.

[00:50:07] You got Adam started.

[00:50:09] He knows what the word means.

[00:50:10] That's what the word means.

[00:50:11] What does that mean?

[00:50:13] I think it means the name.

[00:50:14] If you juxtapose that word.

[00:50:16] How about this?

[00:50:17] The titular setting.

[00:50:18] Because it's the town of Banshee, Pennsylvania.

[00:50:21] It's a small Amish community.

[00:50:23] Central PA.

[00:50:24] And central PA, yes.

[00:50:26] They got people doing crank and stuff?

[00:50:29] Yes, absolutely.

[00:50:30] What's that town of PA that's just got gas coming out of the ground?

[00:50:34] Centralia?

[00:50:35] Do you ever see that shit?

[00:50:36] Really?

[00:50:37] There's a town in PA that's just ruined because they like...

[00:50:39] Because they're fracking?

[00:50:40] They did something too much.

[00:50:41] But there's just holes in the ground with holes in this gas leaking out.

[00:50:45] So the town's just abandoned.

[00:50:47] That sucks.

[00:50:48] Which is probably the most...

[00:50:51] Pennsylvania is a great state.

[00:50:53] It's fucked up in a way that's very unique.

[00:50:56] Yeah, they got their own little fucking...

[00:50:59] They're on five.

[00:51:00] Two cities.

[00:51:01] Because it's on the east coast but it is just like...

[00:51:03] Yeah, it is just like shitty Midwestern kind of place.

[00:51:07] Well, it's got like one side is West Virginia and the other side is New Jersey.

[00:51:13] Jersey, yeah, yeah.

[00:51:14] That's true.

[00:51:15] That's absolutely motherfucking true.

[00:51:17] Yeah.

[00:51:18] So you got fucking east coast fucking...

[00:51:20] Oh!

[00:51:21] Yeah, you got one side.

[00:51:22] You got some...

[00:51:23] You got some pies on though.

[00:51:25] You got...

[00:51:26] Time.

[00:51:27] Wise guy type.

[00:51:28] Yeah, Centralia is a borough near ghost town in Columbia County, Pennsylvania.

[00:51:32] A near ghost town?

[00:51:33] In 1980, the population declined from a thousand 1980 to five residents in 2017 because of

[00:51:38] a coal mine fire.

[00:51:39] A coal mine fire has been burning beneath the borough since 1960.

[00:51:43] That sounds fake, dude.

[00:51:46] Yeah.

[00:51:47] That sounds like five guys.

[00:51:48] And then just a fire underneath the town and it just leaks like poison his gas.

[00:51:53] That's awesome.

[00:51:54] Yeah.

[00:51:55] That's pretty funny.

[00:51:57] Yeah, dude.

[00:51:58] It's so fucking weird when you have those like you see those videos and they turn on their

[00:52:04] water and then they just put a match and it's fucking on fire.

[00:52:08] Their water is on fire.

[00:52:10] That shit looks fucking metal as hell.

[00:52:12] I'm not going to lie.

[00:52:13] That's badass.

[00:52:14] I wish we had fire water in New York.

[00:52:16] It would be fucking sick or...

[00:52:18] I don't know.

[00:52:19] I don't know.

[00:52:20] I don't know.

[00:52:21] I don't give a fucking actually.

[00:52:22] It's not that metal.

[00:52:24] It looks metal but it doesn't make me want to scream death metal, death metal shit.

[00:52:29] No.

[00:52:30] Yeah.

[00:52:31] So anyway, Banshee's really fucking cool.

[00:52:32] You guys should see a couple episodes.

[00:52:33] Well, we probably will.

[00:52:34] Let's try that out.

[00:52:35] There's a press in it in every episode and the main guy, you guys see the boys.

[00:52:39] You ever see that show?

[00:52:40] No.

[00:52:41] It's good.

[00:52:42] The main guy from the boys is the main guy in this and he's fucking sick.

[00:52:45] And also have the acting as dog shit but he's really good.

[00:52:49] Yeah.

[00:52:50] I can't say enough good things about this show, man.

[00:52:52] It's really good.

[00:52:53] How did you happen upon it?

[00:52:55] I was done watching Bosch.

[00:52:57] Yeah.

[00:52:58] You crushed Bosch.

[00:52:59] I crushed Bosch.

[00:53:00] It was awesome.

[00:53:01] Yeah.

[00:53:02] And there's a Bosch spinoff coming on when he's a detective.

[00:53:06] I kind of want to rewatch Moanda.

[00:53:08] What's Moanda?

[00:53:09] It's a movie.

[00:53:10] Who's in it?

[00:53:11] A fish called Moanda?

[00:53:12] Some bitch.

[00:53:13] Barbara Lowdon.

[00:53:14] Oh, yeah, dude.

[00:53:17] There's an old man.

[00:53:20] This old man in a shitty town.

[00:53:22] That movie is sad.

[00:53:24] Moanda?

[00:53:25] Yeah.

[00:53:26] I don't want to watch something sad, dude.

[00:53:29] It's very good.

[00:53:30] I searched Moanda and what comes up is this fucking bullshit.

[00:53:33] Moanda vision.

[00:53:34] Moanda vision.

[00:53:35] And it's like, it's Scarlet Witch.

[00:53:37] Moanda Maximoff.

[00:53:38] What about this?

[00:53:40] Moanda, suck me off.

[00:53:41] Yeah.

[00:53:42] I would love to get sucked off by the Olsen with the big titty.

[00:53:45] No, apparently there's like nothing there anymore.

[00:53:47] There used to be houses, but now it's all.

[00:53:50] It's just not the big bulldozer.

[00:53:52] It's everything.

[00:53:53] Yeah.

[00:53:54] You know what I want it?

[00:53:55] What I want to go to is Chernobyl.

[00:53:57] No.

[00:53:58] That town.

[00:53:59] Yeah, I want to go there and go paintballing.

[00:54:00] Yeah.

[00:54:01] But actually that would be fucking sick.

[00:54:02] That would be sick.

[00:54:03] I mean, like, what harm could it do to me?

[00:54:06] I smoke cigarettes.

[00:54:07] A lot of harm, actually.

[00:54:08] I take vitamins.

[00:54:09] A lot of harm.

[00:54:10] Unbalanced.

[00:54:11] I could really fuck your shit up.

[00:54:14] I think that's just a theory that radiation hurts you.

[00:54:17] Really?

[00:54:18] Yeah, I don't think it's like...

[00:54:19] Okay.

[00:54:20] It's like, you know, until we knew how like germs worked, everyone thought it was like

[00:54:24] me asthma.

[00:54:25] Yeah.

[00:54:26] I think radiation is the same thing.

[00:54:27] They're like, oh, it's fucking ions.

[00:54:29] Holy fuck, real quick.

[00:54:31] What?

[00:54:32] I always said that Elizabeth Olsen, it's like, they were like, we need to make an Olsen

[00:54:36] twin with big tits.

[00:54:37] Yeah.

[00:54:38] That was a smart move by Hollywood.

[00:54:39] Yeah, that was very clever.

[00:54:41] And it was.

[00:54:43] But I'm looking up Elizabeth Olsen nude right now, and her tits are bigger than I even

[00:54:47] thought.

[00:54:48] Yeah, she is nice.

[00:54:49] She was an old boy.

[00:54:50] These are some great...

[00:54:51] Which by the way, a retarded idea to remake old boy, but here she is getting plowed by

[00:54:56] Josh Brolin.

[00:54:57] Josh Brolin.

[00:54:58] And these titties are fucking monumental.

[00:55:00] So good on her.

[00:55:01] Let me see.

[00:55:02] Congratulations.

[00:55:03] I'm gonna take you with a lot of room out of class.

[00:55:04] This is kind of like a collage, but you can flip through.

[00:55:10] There's some closer ups.

[00:55:11] Bressed collage.

[00:55:12] They're much nicer than I thought they'd be.

[00:55:15] What do you think?

[00:55:16] What do you think about her titties?

[00:55:18] Nice pair.

[00:55:19] Nice pair, right?

[00:55:20] Kind of a standard issue, I feel.

[00:55:21] But a little bit bigger than a standard, I would say.

[00:55:24] And you know what?

[00:55:25] The size and shape.

[00:55:27] Like look at that little fucking side.

[00:55:28] They're round and shape.

[00:55:29] The side is a great shape.

[00:55:32] Damn.

[00:55:33] Did you think she got fake yiddies?

[00:55:35] If she did, they're pretty well done.

[00:55:37] Now I'm just looking at pictures of Chernobyl.

[00:55:40] You know what I love?

[00:55:41] I remember there was one night, I think me and you did a bunch of blowing.

[00:55:43] For whatever reason, I had to rush home and look at pictures of that abandoned ground

[00:55:49] effect of vehicle they keep on the Caspian Sea, the Russians, the...

[00:55:53] I don't know that...

[00:55:54] A Chrono Plan?

[00:55:55] Or whatever?

[00:55:56] Chrono Plan?

[00:55:57] Yeah.

[00:55:58] Oh man, this is some good stuff.

[00:55:59] I would love to fuck out of this thing.

[00:56:01] Look at this big, this fucking guy.

[00:56:03] They just keep this on the Caspian Sea.

[00:56:05] Wow.

[00:56:06] This giant plane.

[00:56:07] Oh, that's sick.

[00:56:08] The Russian seven.

[00:56:09] I'm just like chewing on my lips.

[00:56:12] I've got to look at these pigs.

[00:56:14] How much?

[00:56:15] It was like seven o'clock in the morning, the sun's coming.

[00:56:17] I'm like, I got to look at pictures of that plane.

[00:56:19] How much do you want to ride that thing?

[00:56:21] I got to see this thing again.

[00:56:23] Oh man.

[00:56:24] There's some good stuff here.

[00:56:26] A lot of good.

[00:56:27] I'm just kind of going down a rabbit hole here of women's breasts and movies.

[00:56:32] Oh damn, this is just last year.

[00:56:36] What is?

[00:56:37] Because they moved it.

[00:56:38] It was like docked somewhere.

[00:56:42] Alice Eve for the fuck is this?

[00:56:44] Her tits are awesome too.

[00:56:45] Now they're not as good as...

[00:56:46] Honestly, they're not as good as the Olsen girls' tits, but Elizabeth.

[00:56:51] Alice Eve.

[00:56:52] I don't know who that is.

[00:56:54] That doesn't even sound like a real actress.

[00:56:56] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:56:59] I think she's in song.

[00:57:00] I don't know what she's in, but...

[00:57:03] Yeah.

[00:57:04] What were we talking about?

[00:57:06] Wanda.

[00:57:07] Wanda Sykes.

[00:57:09] Yeah, Wanda Sykes of course.

[00:57:11] The movie Drowning Mona.

[00:57:13] Drowning Mona?

[00:57:14] Remember that?

[00:57:15] No.

[00:57:16] No.

[00:57:17] But Danny DeVito and I think Bette Midler.

[00:57:22] Oh fuck.

[00:57:23] Damn.

[00:57:24] Bette.

[00:57:25] I'm in the fucking gym.

[00:57:26] That would be too much.

[00:57:27] I wouldn't like to see that.

[00:57:28] Actually, I would like to see Danny fuck.

[00:57:29] That would be very funny.

[00:57:31] That would be awesome.

[00:57:32] Do you ever catch a fucking glimpse of...

[00:57:35] Sometimes I get...

[00:57:36] I got a big mirror in my bedroom because I wanted to open up the space.

[00:57:40] Yeah.

[00:57:41] But from...

[00:57:42] If you get your dick sucked standing up, which I'd like to do from time to time, for sure.

[00:57:45] Hands at the hips.

[00:57:47] Hands at the hip.

[00:57:48] One on the head, one on the hips.

[00:57:49] You know what I'm saying?

[00:57:51] Like a Greek statue.

[00:57:52] Yeah, yeah.

[00:57:53] I catch a fucking glimpse of my face while I'm fucking.

[00:57:56] I'm just like, I cannot believe women like fuck me.

[00:57:58] Yeah.

[00:57:59] I look so hilarious.

[00:58:00] I'm disappointed in you.

[00:58:02] No, because I'm all sweaty so my hair is like at the top matted and on the sides like

[00:58:07] winging out.

[00:58:08] It's just like my mustache is, you know, glistening from pussy juice.

[00:58:12] I look hilarious.

[00:58:13] I'm just like making like a...

[00:58:15] Yeah.

[00:58:16] Like a...

[00:58:17] Like a mean face because I'm just like, yes, I love getting my dick sucked in a major

[00:58:21] way.

[00:58:22] I'm enjoying myself.

[00:58:23] And then I take a glimpse and I'm like, damn, hilarious that women bust to these kinds of

[00:58:28] faces.

[00:58:29] It's just...

[00:58:30] Yeah, or like in a hotel and you'll catch a glimpse of where you're just like mid-stroke.

[00:58:36] You're just like, ahhhh.

[00:58:38] Yeah.

[00:58:39] So funny.

[00:58:40] I would like...

[00:58:41] It would be funny to watch almost everyone fuck.

[00:58:43] I don't think anyone fucks in a way where you're like, now that's...

[00:58:46] Yeah.

[00:58:47] Now that's good.

[00:58:48] Now that's nice.

[00:58:49] Yeah.

[00:58:50] Porn is...

[00:58:51] I have even more respect.

[00:58:52] They choose porn.

[00:58:53] It's like they don't have like, fuck naturally.

[00:58:55] They don't do real well.

[00:58:56] You have to like lean so you can see your dick, like in a camera man.

[00:58:58] Yeah, dick and pussy.

[00:58:59] Like, you know, in real life you're not like, does that work?

[00:59:02] It's totally...

[00:59:03] Totally.

[00:59:04] So you have to have extra dick to be maneuverable.

[00:59:06] Yeah.

[00:59:07] Because if I had to give up a centimeter, we're out of business.

[00:59:11] If I have to just lean in a certain theatrical way, there's...

[00:59:20] I can fucking like, you know.

[00:59:22] I got my go-tos but if I have to do something cinematic, like a kind of a Captain Morgan

[00:59:28] one leg up.

[00:59:29] I'll find like that.

[00:59:31] Sure.

[00:59:32] I can do that.

[00:59:33] That's a good way to fuck actually.

[00:59:34] He get a little fucking...

[00:59:35] But...

[00:59:36] So I have respect for them but it is fake the way they fuck, you know.

[00:59:41] Yeah.

[00:59:42] That's what I say to all my girls.

[00:59:45] I say, you know, sex is actually very different from what they make it look like.

[00:59:52] This is what I say to all my girls.

[00:59:53] That's what I say to all my bitch.

[00:59:55] That's what you say to them.

[00:59:56] My daughters, I have sex with them.

[00:59:57] That's what you say to the whole...

[00:59:59] The team.

[01:00:00] The whole roster of horses.

[01:00:01] I can't wait to be a girl dad.

[01:00:03] What a chore sometimes.

[01:00:05] What a chore.

[01:00:07] Yeah, well...

[01:00:09] We got bacon to fucking cook up folks.

[01:00:11] Sorry, look.

[01:00:12] This was our fault for not...

[01:00:13] We didn't have any coffee before doing this.

[01:00:15] Dude, stop a pot.

[01:00:16] I don't like the mind frame you're getting in.

[01:00:18] Okay.

[01:00:19] We got to do four today.

[01:00:20] You know what?

[01:00:21] Minimum.

[01:00:22] And that's not how we start the day off.

[01:00:23] Here in O'Eve we'll see you in a minute.

[01:00:25] It's in and out.

[01:00:26] You're thinking the wrong way brother.

[01:00:29] Well thank you folks and have a good thanks...

[01:00:30] Or you just had Thanksgiving and we hope it was good.

[01:00:33] And we give thanks for you.

[01:00:34] We give thanks for you.