Cum Town | Premium | 01/02/2022
[00:00:22] You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, just walk around the table.
[00:00:33] In finance, Mr. Wakes up at 11.57 am in Chinese.
[00:00:51] Last time you performed at that club, you wore that on stage.
[00:01:04] I wore my button up shirt and jeans and sneakers.
[00:01:12] And my other hoodie is covered in cat hair.
[00:01:18] I used to get, I used to get shirts from every comic club.
[00:01:20] They said they only gave it to people as a big dick.
[00:01:26] I should have done that because I give away, like if someone from the staff's like, I love that shirt, I'm not going to make them buy it.
[00:01:38] I also don't think they'd listen to the show and won't get back to them.
[00:01:39] But I have stolen so many mugs from Caroline.
[00:01:43] Realistically, I've probably stolen eight to 10 mugs from Caroline.
[00:01:49] Yeah, every time of the day, there's one time, I think a weekend I did there, I put like four or five mugs in respect.
[00:02:01] And honestly, if you're a young comic and you're in a comedy club, you should be stealing the silverware and the fucking...
[00:02:11] If you're middling, you're a hundred bucks a show.
[00:02:19] You should take the pussy from the waitresses and the silverware from the kitchen.
[00:02:31] If you're an expert, I'm clearing my throat because of the wire.
[00:02:36] If you're a young aspiring comic, listen to Nick Mullen steal food or steal forks and rape waitresses.
[00:02:48] You say you take the pussy from the kitchen.
[00:02:50] Yeah, but in the way that in High Plains Drifter, a Clooney Swoods character comes to town and
[00:02:55] he shows the woman into the barn and has sex with her.
[00:03:07] I was not aware of that loop, that legislative loophole.
[00:03:10] When was the last time you stole something?
[00:03:15] I steal it from the airport every time I take a flight.
[00:03:29] That's the one thing you should be stealing at the airport.
[00:03:34] You're going to forget that neck pillow every time you go to the airport.
[00:03:39] And I did forget a neck pillow, which is why I stole a second one because I did steal
[00:03:45] I don't know, like one of those Hudson News offshoots in New York or come to the party.
[00:03:53] Adam, I will not give in to your trickery.
[00:04:02] I didn't know you were gay, but I fucking those.
[00:04:09] I was dripping tinctures down my gullet.
[00:04:14] You were higher than giraffe pussy, as a matter of fact.
[00:04:26] Yes, price is higher than giraffe pussy.
[00:04:31] I mean, I remember the chance to say that.
[00:04:41] It's so funny because it's just a hack comedy line.
[00:04:44] And then you just see it in nature and being like, perfect.
[00:04:47] I can't wait to be driving home with elders to be like, damn, that overpass is higher
[00:04:53] Yeah, you're going to overdo it for sure.
[00:05:05] I wish I knew it would actually be cracking.
[00:05:13] You're cooler when you hold it that way.
[00:05:18] With special with the tracksuit, you look like you're about to lay it down.
[00:05:25] I'm going to take out a gun and make you suck my dick.
[00:05:39] Please suck me, suck me, suck me, please.
[00:05:46] You know he was getting some nice fucking top-erilla.
[00:05:55] I'm sort of invoking Paul or Fred Durst with Paul.
[00:06:04] Wasn't that the guy from the sting or whatever?
[00:06:50] It's like, yeah, it evokes something that's very funny that you can freestyle a whole song.
[00:07:01] Just another skill that you can do fairly competently.
[00:07:05] But if someone says do a joke on the spot, you panic.
[00:07:08] No, I do jokes on the spot all the time.
[00:07:10] A lot of my sets I just asked for a suggestion and just go off.
[00:07:16] I was intentionally doing something bad.
[00:07:20] Oh, dude, I should do that and try to do 25 of those sets in one night.
[00:07:37] Was cold train even like an improv jazz guy?
[00:07:42] But any more than like all of jazz was kind of improvisation.
[00:07:45] I'm not qualified to answer that question.
[00:07:48] Adam still got 10 more years of being a classic rock Jew before he changed it up to jazz Jew.
[00:07:56] It's a different 25 year old girlfriend.
[00:07:58] Yeah, that's a Robert Durst documentary is the jazz Jew.
[00:08:09] What do you have on transition into one, right?
[00:08:18] But I know it's like, I'm just, I don't know what the fuck I'm done.
[00:08:40] Although it's probably cool to do heroin.
[00:08:43] Yeah, that's what you never hear about anymore.
[00:08:47] I feel like you used to have to hear about that fucking asshole.
[00:08:51] Yeah, but even, well, maybe that was it.
[00:08:54] I feel like jazz, you know, you know who I never hear about anymore fucking Howard G.
[00:09:01] I don't hear about Cal Ripken Jr. anymore.
[00:09:04] I don't hear about George Thurgood too often.
[00:09:08] George Thurgood, the Delaware Destroyers.
[00:09:13] I didn't know George Thurgood was a devil.
[00:09:17] Yeah, it was George Thurgood and the Delaware Destroyers.
[00:09:31] How is he in it fucking bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
[00:09:43] We established this on the last episode.
[00:09:48] Yeah, because yesterday was like, yeah.
[00:09:50] So you admit yesterday when I said you had a bad day.
[00:09:52] When I said you had a small dick or whatever, I said that I was correct yesterday.
[00:09:58] So if that is precedent, if yesterday was regular day and you agreed to whatever I said about
[00:10:04] you either having a little ticker being gay or whatever, that sets the precedent that follows
[00:10:09] How about a movie called I Rest My Kids.
[00:10:21] That represents the track starring Matthew Perry and Ian Feige.
[00:10:33] I want to come over and listen to my sky album.
[00:10:38] Yeah, I'll tell you some stories with two stray guys together at last.
[00:10:51] Are you now doing an impression of yourself?
[00:11:10] You should be like a leather jacket, Bill Hicks style comedian.
[00:11:15] I love when he makes points and tell the way there is.
[00:11:35] And the solidly not crazily above average comedians.
[00:11:39] Ian wanted to show us a documentary on George Floyd.
[00:11:51] George Floyd and the Delaware destroyed.
[00:12:03] You know, you're going to move back to become a state senator.
[00:12:13] You get your fucking Joe Biden on, dude.
[00:12:18] Biden's people in Delaware like Joe Biden.
[00:12:22] I think everyone kind of hates them now, but there's a massive pride about him for sure.
[00:12:28] Where would you rank yourself on the favorite sons of Delaware list?
[00:12:32] Well, number two, probably because first is the worst.
[00:13:05] In fact, these are the only times I don't feel sad is when your body is so
[00:13:14] And I'm just hanging out and trying to recover.
[00:13:16] There's a nice item around with friends, people I love family.
[00:13:19] And I'm still like, this is this all there is.
[00:13:23] But eating cold pizza from three days ago.
[00:13:36] It was all she did a good job of getting on hardwood.
[00:13:39] I've trained her to shit on your hardwood, to shit on hard.
[00:13:46] Is that why she kept trying to shit on my dick?
[00:13:48] That's why she was trying to shit on my washboard abs.
[00:13:56] So anyway, yeah, we all feel like shit.
[00:13:59] But like an underground dog fighting ring in China.
[00:14:02] Are you going to say an underground dog railroad?
[00:14:12] Where like adopted dogs go underground?
[00:14:46] Those dudes set the bar higher than giraffe pussy, bro.
[00:14:54] I love the talking after it's supposed to land.
[00:15:05] Trying to sustain the momentum of the crowd.
[00:15:09] Hoped to trick them into giving you enough of a laugh to go on to the next.
[00:15:27] I'm done with the underground dog railroad.
[00:15:31] What about this dog fighting ring and China?
[00:15:33] So they could say the pit like in showdown.
[00:15:37] And then there's those guys, Chinese guys waving money or whatever.
[00:15:40] And before the fight begins, a Chinese guy comes out and he goes, food fight.
[00:15:52] You got eaten in a major way with that one.
[00:15:55] Well, I say when he's on, I just, you know, of course, it's like giving candy to a retail.
[00:16:26] That could be a good catchphrase for you.
[00:16:55] Michael Vick is showing an incredible amount of good for the dog community.
[00:17:06] People way more mad about that than Anthony Fauci trying out makeup on dogs for himself.
[00:17:13] Dude, under the radar, Michael Vick has been doing incredible things for dogs and animals
[00:17:20] and he doesn't want press about it, whatever.
[00:17:36] No, I mean, I feel that way, of course.
[00:17:44] It's like the NFL had people who were just beating their wives.
[00:17:58] And the only, and you know who broke his single season rushing record for a quarterback?
[00:18:05] Sort of the air to the Vic throne, if you ask me.
[00:18:29] I woke up at 6 a.m. took a fat shit or unski.
[00:18:31] Then I swear to God, I heard someone knocking at the door.
[00:18:41] I would love, you know, we should transition to being a paranormal plot.
[00:18:45] We should just switch to some gay theme.
[00:18:49] It's yeah, true crime or one of these fucking things.
[00:18:53] But we got to find a way to not do any work.
[00:19:07] She's got to walk around here and a little fucking, I'm going to spend over a little bit
[00:19:13] of a little bit of a little of the cash.
[00:19:18] Just an imprinted pussy in her breasts.
[00:19:23] I'm glad you said that because I was thinking that I was going to bring that up.
[00:19:27] I'm going to talk to her about how NYU is stressing her out.
[00:19:35] To talk about how stressful college is.
[00:19:53] And she just writes scripts for the show and we just were.
[00:20:16] Well, if we could get some AI generated script, first we could read it.
[00:20:22] But then you'd think over time it would be able to just call our voices together.
[00:20:26] Probably be better than the actual show.
[00:20:27] This used to be like, oh wow, you could pay to hang out with your friends.
[00:20:34] I thought it was like hooked up to the thing.
[00:20:39] It's got to sit in the chair and wait room.
[00:20:42] It feels like we're in the Mickey or the Ronald McDonald house right now.
[00:20:44] But we're in one of those comfy recliners.
[00:20:48] It's a house that families stay at when their children are getting kicked out.
[00:20:56] See, I always, what I thought my entire life was that it was like a clown house for mentally
[00:21:09] It also, that's what the Ronald McDonald house sounds like.
[00:21:12] Where we just, you get a bunch of retards, you get them chicken nuggets.
[00:21:37] I was just hoping after one of those sentences about retards, it would turn into a catchphrase.
[00:21:56] When I read it, you were anxious, but you were anxious.
[00:21:59] You were having a mental breakdown for a second there.
[00:22:10] But I think they're in, are they in every town or in every city?
[00:22:15] In every town in America, there's a wherever.
[00:22:16] There's like a huge children's hospital.
[00:22:20] I've never seen a Ronald McDonald house in my life.
[00:22:29] I mean, I think of the restaurant McDonald's.
[00:22:33] I had my fucking, I think it was my first birthday party at McDonald's.
[00:22:40] You remember your first birthday party?
[00:22:50] But my boy Pete was there in a little carrier.
[00:23:05] You fucking have a little thing and it goes.
[00:23:10] Look, I hold it like this and the fucking baby's in here doing this kind of shit.
[00:23:32] And there's a little bottle with a mouthpiece room to suck a little wheel for him to run.
[00:23:50] If I had a kid, they would not be getting a first birthday.
[00:24:06] Like in a theoretical world where you have a baby, you invite me, Adam, Ian, Eldis, Willow over.
[00:24:20] And then you've got to get it together as a father.
[00:24:24] And then on its fourth birthday, then we...
[00:24:32] We go to the one that Chris Kyle murdered that guy.
[00:24:41] The guy had like PTSD or something and Chris Kyle was like, the answer is more guns.
[00:24:46] We're gonna get falafel and we're gonna shoot guns.
[00:24:57] Yeah, I'm excited for somebody to have a baby.
[00:25:05] I haven't really announced it on the show.
[00:25:10] I got Adam pushing when I fucked his ass.
[00:25:15] Doctors are like, well, it's not really how it works.
[00:25:24] If you can fertilize an egg, maybe you should...
[00:25:30] Like a children's room that's already done for a kid.
[00:25:31] And Adam's sobbing and I'm like, don't worry, we'll go see Jasmine.
[00:25:34] Adam bent over in a nursery clutching a Bible just saying please.
[00:25:46] The technology got to be close to be able to have a baby in your ass.
[00:25:59] He's just a gay guy who gets pregnant in his ass.
[00:26:08] Yeah I don't really I'm not strong I'm not fast but I can't really beat up bad guys
[00:26:13] I just found this school for extraordinary children or whatever yeah yeah yeah
[00:26:24] okay like can I go on the plane to stop Magneto no like I mean what would you
[00:26:31] do it's like I get pregnant in my ass I'd make maybe Magneto has like a gay
[00:26:36] henchman yeah I don't really know I don't really know how that's gonna and
[00:26:40] then Magneto's gay oh interesting so you get him to get the guy pregnant and
[00:26:45] then you have his dress up like a cat and Magneto's kid and Magneto's like
[00:26:48] well I'm gonna blow in his ass he's a gay guy yeah he can't get pregnant and I
[00:26:53] already have AIDS that's right yeah Magneto has AIDS and he controls the
[00:26:56] molecule yeah and he was in the Holocaust yeah just he's like the ass pregnant
[00:27:01] is doing karate against Magneto and then he just like rapidly shits out like
[00:27:05] five babies and it like propels him up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then he's
[00:27:09] behind like he's mainly it's just he's using that to fly babies is fuel yeah
[00:27:14] it makes it interesting so he's like yeah shoot babies out of his ass he can
[00:27:21] fly so they're like what utility does ass pregnant have and he's like well
[00:27:24] technically I can fly because I'm just shooting out constantly shooting out
[00:27:29] babies do they die no they're just turning like they like they coins no
[00:27:34] they like rush by that it's like sonic day you're turning you're thinking
[00:27:39] about your people you think of you're saying what are you guys they become
[00:27:43] coins I think so it's like when Yoda fades away yeah yeah yeah a piggy bank
[00:27:51] and the matter and depending on how good you are it's the better kind of
[00:27:57] coins yeah so you got ass pregnant this week all right we're back we're talking
[00:28:02] about how we're not doing bits anymore and the baby the babies will like swarm
[00:28:06] whoever's he's fighting yeah they bite him oh that'd be annoying and they're all
[00:28:11] the babies are HIV positive so they're getting they infect you that's really
[00:28:18] good that's actually they're trying to they're trying to breastfeed on yeah
[00:28:22] yeah mm-hmm oh yeah that's good that's yeah he could fight Magneto he could
[00:28:27] absolutely and they're naked so that if you see this child pornography yeah yeah
[00:28:33] yeah and then there's like a side story there's a whole spin-off comic series
[00:28:37] that adults who read comic books are into because it's for adults right right
[00:28:42] Wolverine accidentally touching aspirin then absorbing his aids and then he
[00:28:48] has to go live in the wilderness and deal with being HIV positive right and
[00:28:52] it's actually it's for adults he never fights never like reads books mostly
[00:28:56] yeah it's like slow but the art is really not the only thing he fights his
[00:29:00] acceptance of the fact that he has AIDS yeah that's what X-Men is all about
[00:29:05] racism ain't being gay that's what gay guys that's why Brian Singer wanted
[00:29:12] directing he's a rapist and he didn't feel that there's enough you know
[00:29:17] acceptance yeah he's like the X-Men is about having parties where you sexually
[00:29:22] molest 17 you drug 17 year old I kind of feel like to some extent Brian Singer's
[00:29:26] rape has been accepted by society literally yeah dude yep well you can rape
[00:29:32] who's you rape in 17 year old boys yeah well that's a story that's like the
[00:29:36] rumor is that you know he just fucking he has these house parties basically
[00:29:40] everything Kevin Spacey did Brian Singer has done something similar but
[00:29:44] Spacey got canceled and singer just fucking beat the charges because no one
[00:29:47] knows who he is like most people like everyone knows Kevin's yeah honestly
[00:29:49] that is a real answer it's fun to have some like larger conspiracy about like
[00:29:53] David Geffen protecting him because there's like some you know network of
[00:29:57] for sure which there probably is yeah well it's just yeah but at the same time
[00:30:00] it's like Kevin Spacey like everyone else it's also kind of like that everyone
[00:30:05] you use gay for years yeah it's also like part of the like boundary crossing
[00:30:10] is like older gay culture right it was already you know it's subversive
[00:30:16] anyways so the older gays are more touchy sure you know what do you mean
[00:30:21] because they used to be able to fuck 16 year olds not cuz they used to be able
[00:30:24] to fuck six because they used to not be able to fuck anybody right so say
[00:30:27] so gay sex was you know it's illegal you might as well fuck exactly a
[00:30:30] sexy lacrosse player yeah you've seen cruising I haven't actually you haven't
[00:30:35] you know I watch nobody every day but I have seen the way Tim Dillon looked at
[00:30:39] a lacrosse team when we got roast beef together yeah in Boston yeah and I saw
[00:30:44] in his eyes yeah hunger yeah homosexual hunger there's there's steam coming
[00:30:49] over steers yeah sometimes yeah boys show up and he turns into the alligator
[00:30:53] from all dogs good yep yeah yeah he's over you at him by the way me why and
[00:31:01] we're deli sees you guys are both too old that's cool I really skated by that
[00:31:07] on that one time he's going into like detail but it was like not graphic
[00:31:12] detail so much it's like you know it just reminds me like like those Jewish
[00:31:17] boys are always laughing you have a sleepover yeah it wouldn't be for sex but
[00:31:27] then when the lights go off well yeah he would he would fucking lull you into
[00:31:32] sense of security about the next thing you know you're getting your dicks
[00:31:35] I just I just like I just like the attention it's over now though don't
[00:31:39] worry you're too ugly yeah well now I was after now it makes Adam wanted even more
[00:31:44] now I know I kind of have it it'll never happen I kind of kind of missed that
[00:31:48] boat you did that I guess whatever I'm sure there's other not successful fat
[00:31:54] gay guys at all yeah but the successful you know it's one in Delaware after the
[00:31:58] podcast and his Adams gonna be in a room domestic partnership with Louie Anderson
[00:32:03] that's smart dude yeah clout get some clout off your man of course he'd be the
[00:32:16] lady of course not yeah you'd be the girl you'd be a girl you'd be such a bitch
[00:32:24] yeah just like come in with shopping bags mm-hmm from like expensive stores
[00:32:30] they spent the day on rodeo yeah I got supreme hmm Louie I got the new supreme
[00:32:36] drop he's like just stop it I'm not a kid I'm putting you out on a lau I'm
[00:32:43] letting you know how let me kiss your body and it's time for body kisses
[00:32:50] that play he'd be stick put your dick in between my teeth
[00:33:02] yeah shut out to Louie Anderson mmm this is a pretty good do you have a cartoon you
[00:33:07] did life with Louie that was a lot like the boxers off dick yeah Bobby's world
[00:33:13] superior Bobby's world is great yeah yeah yeah I'm I'm hurting again I have I
[00:33:28] need a nap gas X you keep offering gas X I have time to help how that Pepto
[00:33:34] help that offer and Pepto stop acting like you're too good for off brand
[00:33:38] Pepto Pepto when it comes to stomach stuff you can't car corners what do you
[00:33:44] mean why is that a quarter it's the same shit you dumbass how's it working
[00:33:48] Pepto's not better than generic Pepto you're a slave to the fucking the
[00:33:53] brand's brother Pepto Dick's wall Pepto Dick's wall that's your favorite medicine
[00:33:58] Ian shut no it is no it's not a lot of people told me it is don't say a bunch
[00:34:04] of people have shut up man your mom told me Gail told me she says hi by your
[00:34:11] friend Frank huh she says hi by the way she says you need to come back down
[00:34:14] for another I'd love to we had a great steak and fucking lobster till dinner
[00:34:19] in Dallas in Delaware oh home cook yeah it was great
[00:34:23] Gail herself wow that's really nice nice surf and turf it was a surf and turf
[00:34:27] wow very expertly cooked to shout out to her and certainly compliments yeah Gail
[00:34:34] told me who else told me a bunch of people Luke Monas fuck Luke Luke told me
[00:34:42] yeah my friend Luke your friend Brandon Saggle told me no yeah yeah a lot of
[00:34:48] people alike everyone told me the good peters no that well they didn't see
[00:34:53] anything but you dig this in your favorite medicine is Pepto Dick's mall
[00:34:58] technically say your dick is small but we can all you know we can all fucking
[00:35:03] extrapolate from there I'm gonna need to just lay down for like 40 minutes and
[00:35:09] then shit again I passed out briefly while we were watching I was jealous I was
[00:35:14] 30 rock I was hearing you snoring I was jealous is that story I'm not even a dog
[00:35:17] dude stop you miss a good time last night when we saw shooting star yeah you told
[00:35:24] me about it and we said I didn't give a fuck then I don't give a fuck nice fire
[00:35:28] remember that yeah it was fun it was nice to be in nature I was high as shit on
[00:35:33] the couch watching scary movie to you know as God intended oh so for the
[00:35:41] listeners at home let's yeah it's January it's late December
[00:35:46] I think it's January is it January it's January is January second
[00:35:53] everyone happy to hear we just celebrated my birthday on December 31st
[00:36:00] yep we all held Ian down and fucked his mouth yep this is best gift I ever got
[00:36:07] don't be afraid to be rough yeah this is what I wanted Nick tight not to rope
[00:36:16] on my hand I'd love being doing any impression yeah happy new year everyone
[00:36:22] 2022 what are you guys new year's resolutions oh I got a lot on the list
[00:36:27] this year let's hear them I'm gonna I'm gonna work on self-esteem and self-
[00:36:34] respect good for you man you deserve it I'm really gonna turn a corner on that
[00:36:39] hell yeah I'm gonna do a goal for everybody yeah yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna
[00:36:47] touch Ray the mark wallberg more piece more grace yes
[00:36:51] yes that's a video like the every mark wall bird he's like for Lent
[00:36:58] more piece more grace not not giving anything yeah not doing the traditional
[00:37:03] thing yeah touching rim I think you can you'll never touch me a basketball
[00:37:11] rim actually no gay shit yeah no gay shit 2022 oh that's that your
[00:37:17] resolution so you want to be a bigot in 2022 no I quite the opposite in fact
[00:37:23] what else what other what's the opposite of being a big it being a
[00:37:29] small it big and egalitarian and fucking it just he's small it the opposite of a
[00:37:36] big yeah that was yeah that's that was the first clue that guy was was trying to
[00:37:41] pull a fast one his name was small it yeah and the anti-bigot has an
[00:37:47] anti-bigotry gone too far might have has anti-racism gone to a small
[00:37:52] it's really now it's like you can't even be a racist at all they want to they
[00:37:59] want to make racism they demonize right they're being racist to the race my
[00:38:06] kids they're white and they cross me to go into for now you can't rape anybody
[00:38:14] so our beautiful actress anybody you're gonna rape it's gonna be a beautiful
[00:38:19] laugh that's that's the one you should be like a grandmother going to buy
[00:38:25] groceries get don't rape her but Selma hi what I become a producer for yeah I
[00:38:32] don't like movie you gonna tell me Harvey Weinstein did something real hey look
[00:38:36] at him what's he supposed to do charm them that guy is supposed to be shot
[00:38:42] they're supposed to get wet looking at him you gotta use a gun that's the way
[00:38:50] the world worked for millions of years the tiny source just doing that the T
[00:38:56] Rex he had tiny arms so we got big teeth so he could bite a bitch right instead
[00:39:02] of holding a hand and that's Harvey and it's me and sometimes not really anymore
[00:39:07] yeah but it is fucked up me personally I'm gay so I don't have to worry about
[00:39:11] that I just tell people how to live it live yeah yeah yeah how about you and
[00:39:19] what you're fucking New Year's resolution man oh man to to try not to take
[00:39:25] anything for granted to enjoy the friendships and love I have in my life
[00:39:31] that's awesome and try to make today better than yesterday so tomorrow will
[00:39:36] be better than it's funny how like because the people that actually do that
[00:39:39] never think in those terms they just enjoy their lives yeah you know I believe
[00:39:44] you guys like happily married they get you know they get his job is okay with
[00:39:48] or whatever goes on vacation you're like so you like live in the moment they're
[00:39:51] like what the fuck are you talking about yeah it's good work yeah it's people
[00:39:54] that are like you know spent their last dollar on heroin they're like I'm
[00:39:58] trying to live it will be grateful for the things I don't have taken one day at
[00:40:04] a time yeah and I believe in you for me it's double the bread double the head
[00:40:08] every year mmm nice and I think we can do it this year I believe in that actually
[00:40:13] I don't know if we can't mind the E-Pussy give head to your dad well you just
[00:40:17] kind of copied mine put a different spin on it I remixed it you've had a whole
[00:40:21] thing you already went I said my phrasing your phrasing is that minus you
[00:40:27] know tomato tomato E-Pussy give head till you're dead mm-hmm okay I like it I
[00:40:33] don't want to die mm-hmm but I guess I will in a macro sense be giving head
[00:40:38] till I'm dead mm-hmm I hope the E-Pussy well into my golden years yeah well that
[00:40:43] you can do forever yeah especially once your teeth fall out then you're fucking
[00:40:47] good to go I'm gumming that shit yeah I have like a hydraulic lift can you
[00:40:51] imagine how much easier be if you could use your gums yeah oh my god you be the
[00:40:55] throat I put a mouthguard in the throat never your old to you it's your your
[00:41:07] your old woman or pussy will just fall out completely yeah right yeah a lot
[00:41:12] easier about time yeah finally you'll bang straight my whole life to finally
[00:41:19] suck something like a dick without being gay and here's my chance putting out
[00:41:25] old ladies pussy like a football what are we doing for lunch cinnabon yeah maybe
[00:41:30] find a mall by here and go to an auntie I would get Sarko Japan yeah Sarko if
[00:41:36] we're talking mall and some Sabaros I don't fucking know man I need to just
[00:41:40] look you can Sarko my dick we have a you can start my I already said you can
[00:41:46] start you my dick with double chicken teriyaki yeah I got some thank you free
[00:41:50] sample yeah yeah I got the free sample you're gonna keep walking around a
[00:41:55] couple times to get it no sir that's what you're gonna do that you're gonna do
[00:41:59] that you're not gonna do it because it involves walking exactly I'm the one
[00:42:04] getting sucked you're gonna somehow have one of the wheelchair shopping
[00:42:08] cards in the mall and I will I will be doing that groceries that's what you
[00:42:12] will be so I'm gonna put on different costumes I won't be recognized each
[00:42:15] time smart move that's I feel like it's gotta be a hack bit but it's very funny
[00:42:18] that they have those motorized shopping carts in there that it's like you like
[00:42:22] you know because it just show up and you're like hey did you suddenly realize
[00:42:27] you're severely handicapped yeah you got here somehow yeah right yeah are you
[00:42:32] just completely fucking a mobile did somebody put you in the front part of a
[00:42:36] fucking bulldozer where you're so tired from getting there that once you're
[00:42:40] there they're like take a load off yeah this ride take a load off bitch suck my
[00:42:46] fucking day take a load off and suck my day and Danny
[00:42:55] I didn't blow a lot on me no no yeah take a load on fucking
[00:43:00] fucking fuck you suck on my nuss my dick you fucking bitch
[00:43:16] Virginia you fucking ho fuck you Virginia suck on my nats a different one
[00:43:21] so I got my fucking dick Virginia you fucking ho yeah that's good yeah I wonder
[00:43:34] if yes nice in broke gate playing cards yeah yeah this is his version of the
[00:43:43] sexy lady playing cards is the cowboy playing with an odd girl man where'd you
[00:43:48] get those this comic fair you know Michael layer oh yeah we got to go back to
[00:43:56] that book fair yeah yeah he's a comic with ALS in the wheelchair yes yes
[00:44:07] long long as he's constantly running over it we're doing that ice bucking
[00:44:15] bigger dick smaller figure yeah we're shrinking our cock the way we wish
[00:44:22] modern medicine stop these people's yeah that's the thing is like you know cuz
[00:44:26] the dick bigger surgery probably won't ever exist not enough time now if you
[00:44:31] can do vaccine over it I don't need a big dick yeah nobody you don't really
[00:44:34] need any kind of what's your body hurts all the time you're like I don't
[00:44:37] really want to change yeah I just want to wait to die yeah that was the thing about
[00:44:46] Harvey you never stopped trying yeah to get his dick take a break it's a bigger
[00:44:49] they have the hubris they have he was looking to close to the Sun they have
[00:44:57] make you taller surgery yeah yeah I know I don't I don't give a fuck I'm
[00:45:06] comfortable my in my frame me too in my gorgeous little frame that'd be funny
[00:45:13] if you I was sorry I thought that was my dick if you got it and then your legs
[00:45:17] you just have like chicken legs dude it's so funny watching those videos
[00:45:21] seeing the guy's looking for a little lollipop walking around I wouldn't want
[00:45:25] that walk around like a goddamn lollipop one of my yeah one of one of the
[00:45:28] things God bless me with is having sick legs yeah yeah the fact I were those
[00:45:33] skinny ass legs weird well that's from where you get fat later in life right
[00:45:37] yeah right I'm not interested in that I got that you've been a whole life whole
[00:45:43] life you were training I'm bad I'm honestly bane oh and every fucking fat
[00:45:49] cock sucker now with a skinny ass yeah the mask is just five straws going to
[00:45:53] like a soda machine different the different syrups
[00:46:01] I'm sorry coke yeah just orange flake I've just yeah cherry-coke
[00:46:06] concentrate you know I were the first time I saw the coke freestyle machine
[00:46:12] charge what show me a penis show me a penis okay my gosh okay let me see your
[00:46:24] I'd love to fuck out for it to stop doing this show after the band episode
[00:46:32] the best yeah I was just writing my bike home like almost falling in the traffic
[00:46:37] that really was Commissioner Gordon just like cold with a cup of coal yeah yeah
[00:46:42] come meet some come each inner Gordon where the hell is that man recorded
[00:46:46] actually you know what recorded in eldest's bedroom yeah I was out of town
[00:46:50] you write a town yeah so interesting it's only a really fun time I know
[00:46:55] I'm kind of kind of luck of the drama was the big kind of in one where I was
[00:47:02] there yeah I'm just kind of just ran back to him how that works just interesting
[00:47:06] little fact that you know that was such a fun run to race yeah yeah two races
[00:47:21] is he gonna say it or not is he saying it you know what can I say it yeah it's not
[00:47:26] technically the word but it's pretty close poison HIV don't say it Batman but
[00:47:32] it looks okay yeah poison HIV it's a song
[00:47:37] the cock king yeah how much time we got left should we just listen to that and
[00:47:41] react to it should we have 13 minutes oh yeah put that on the sun to punch out
[00:47:46] for that on the way and this is this is a 2022 treat for you guys yeah we are
[00:47:53] going to do I did it to when the show was good we are going to react to it
[00:48:03] that's a fuck up you might get paid shut up don't make us revoke your pay for
[00:48:12] insubordination elders don't give him a ride home and he's got to figure it out
[00:48:19] himself I'm gonna write him up you can also mix a lot of money those Elon Musk
[00:48:23] you hear that times more than you do that he
[00:48:27] and Tesla used to be good yeah yeah yeah and what's he make fucking gay ass electric cars
[00:48:32] yeah they made there's three of them they suck they explode yeah nothing's
[00:48:37] changed they've looked the same they did fucking ten years ago fuck him yeah a
[00:48:41] little South African yeah the only South African I need sitting right in this
[00:48:46] room right now that's the only one I need appreciate or like some bitch with
[00:48:51] huge tits it's like blonde or some shit yeah what about South Africa what's
[00:48:55] out there like y'all want any bananas yeah that's what it's like yeah Adam is
[00:49:03] now what it's yup y'all got any bananas is that really what it's like no I would
[00:49:11] have get I would have guess I reckon it's time for a banana okay they have
[00:49:15] other they have other fruits yeah there you go they have other fruits there I
[00:49:18] reckon it's time for some bananas and coconuts huh huh maybe being afraid
[00:49:23] again your picture take partner that's the sounds ominous partner don't you
[00:49:30] level that camera at me reckon this fellers fix and this deal some souls
[00:49:36] not here in south Africa maybe up in Yankee Africa with all them they all
[00:49:44] them stone wall Africans yeah yeah that's what it's like a guess well yeah we're
[00:49:51] good old boys down there you know we used to have pride and just some good old
[00:49:56] boys eating bananas and coconut and other stuff and other stuff but name
[00:50:03] one name one thing name one fuck yeah beef probably yeah beef that's just
[00:50:08] specific to Africa I don't know what they did they called fufu I believe
[00:50:13] fufu it's fufu just a good old boy so I can you know why I don't know
[00:50:23] because I'm not Adam you should know you know what they eat it yeah I don't I
[00:50:28] mean in South Africa is like a it's a pretty diverse country there's like a
[00:50:33] lot of different foods like what there are a lot of people from South Asia
[00:50:37] I'm worried I'm getting a planner award on my hand and I already dug it out
[00:50:41] with a knife there's curries now it's but I think it's I'm hoping this is just a
[00:50:45] scam because I don't really like Ethiopian food it's too paste too much paste for
[00:50:48] me that's a totally different part ever get that change a different part a
[00:50:51] board on your hand I know where the fuck it is at it yeah I used to and I was
[00:50:55] yeah you get as a kid and you never do is an adult one right here that's my
[00:50:58] stuff I've never gotten that I never know I guess my dick is too hard for that
[00:51:02] kind of stuff thank you for either science asylum agreement yeah you're
[00:51:07] welcome you guys couldn't see but everyone was nodding very hard I went to a
[00:51:12] I went to American Legion Hall one time yeah and they had you know they have
[00:51:16] like a house bartender have a good old woman with just warts all over hands and
[00:51:22] she like would open the beer and handed to you that's when I stopped drinking
[00:51:26] that's what I got so very similar to scary movie Chris
[00:51:32] yeah mash potatoes you're almost done that was very funny
[00:51:38] that was awesome what is this thing I think it's just a place I think you put
[00:51:43] like a hot pot on it graph Lance this is in the back graph
[00:51:48] probably the brand oh is that what it is you think that's what the the name on
[00:51:53] the back of this thing is a brand owner of the Airbnb I don't know they put their
[00:51:57] name it's like a the VIMOR general graph Lance graph Lance
[00:52:07] fuck go ahead graph lances yeah having sex I guess
[00:52:12] oh yeah oh graph your penis into my heart yeah graph your penis yes yes what if I
[00:52:21] graphed his glance I need to graft it put it on my put it on my chin so I can have a
[00:52:27] snap happen that that thing they were working on where it's like for burn
[00:52:29] victims it's just like a it's like basically like a we can airbrush with
[00:52:35] skin cells in it oh sure see that's pretty cool yeah it's pretty cool yeah
[00:52:39] just for skin back yeah with stem cells yeah basically we got to get that stem
[00:52:44] shell shit going yeah so we can really turn I'm actually excited about that
[00:52:48] good I mean I don't know shit about it but the way however they made the
[00:52:51] coronavirus vaccines I guess I got more in a shit yeah I guess they can like
[00:52:55] potentially use that to basically cure me almost anything really yeah cuz I
[00:53:00] don't know I don't fucking shit works but it like tells your body to do
[00:53:04] something rather than just being like it looks like a virus sort of thing oh
[00:53:08] gives you a little bit of the virus thing yeah well it's not what it is why
[00:53:12] it's not it tells sick from the vaccine yeah for like what the how the vaccine
[00:53:16] works is it makes your body make the virus or make a part of the virus yeah
[00:53:21] so it's not actually the virus itself is instructions that makes your body
[00:53:24] make the part of the virus and then the body like attacks that thing that you
[00:53:28] are body man that sounds interesting yeah so you think it could solve diseases
[00:53:34] but I don't know I mean I can't even understand like fucking popular science
[00:53:38] articles about how airplanes work so it's but they yeah like I guess
[00:53:43] potentially like they can make it like UK make your body make cancer cells
[00:53:49] that are like the immune system would recognize that are like specific to
[00:53:54] like that whatever tumor you have so then the body will like recognize oh
[00:53:59] well then this is some fucked up shit yeah cuz I think that the problem with
[00:54:02] cancer is your body doesn't like rec cuz it's your own cells are just fucked up
[00:54:05] and chemo just kills everything including the good yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:54:09] but they're not gonna do that cuz there's no money in the kill that's true
[00:54:17] yeah there's no money in the kill no one that is the name of this show this is
[00:54:23] in case there's Chris Rock have any other famous jokes are you quoting the
[00:54:27] the no money in the kill yeah if you have to see another joke about the two
[00:54:32] different there's two kinds of different kinds of people okay what are they black
[00:54:37] people and I'll do the button and not gonna say it now be good come on say it
[00:54:45] oh I'll say it and you'll be good you don't trust your friend he's gonna help
[00:54:52] you out with this is Ian this is a trust fall
[00:55:01] that was that from the movie where he comes we understand you'll have
[00:55:05] like unprotected sex with a prostitute you don't know no in an hour I've never
[00:55:10] had dear friend you won't even just yeah I've never had unprotected sex with a
[00:55:16] prostitute or a man okay you want a ribbon do you think do you think that's
[00:55:25] that certificate maybe I was a merit but with a woman you have yes in
[00:55:31] monogamous relationship respect yes that's kind of homophobic it is
[00:55:36] homophobic because you know you're saying men are saying no because I've never
[00:55:41] dated stop you say that you're in an agnonymous relation eggnoggin
[00:55:45] eggnoggin god damn I don't like eggnog so no
[00:55:52] you look like you do nice Nick's joke Nick's joke but shit here
[00:55:58] joke that I fucked up yeah that's the thing Ian doesn't leave any scraps on
[00:56:10] the tape you know I mean he's the dog yeah you know the vulture you might have
[00:56:15] missed that home run but he ain't got a little bunted off the American comedy
[00:56:19] yeah he's the comedy scavenger yep the vulture the bit vulture maybe the bit
[00:56:27] garbage man I don't know I have to think about it one of those though okay my
[00:56:37] dick is phone fuck dude I gotta sums up with my guts yeah what do they got
[00:56:43] noodles or something around here something maybe rice based yeah we got
[00:56:47] I think I saw foliage sorry whoa what was that was fun it's Adam's the music he
[00:56:55] listens to that's cool Adam's team some man let me tell you some man this girl
[00:57:00] was sucking my dick so good the other day who she would tell me just let it go
[00:57:04] just let it go man I just ran off all in on my I'm gonna get my cheap on what she
[00:57:09] saw my dick on like a change on what I'm like kick off I'm gonna get my cheap on
[00:57:15] what she saw my dick on eyes like a change on hard on like kick off put your
[00:57:20] dick in a mouth give me head to look there with your dick in a mouth give me
[00:57:25] head to look there with your dick in a mouth give me head to look there with
[00:57:30] your dick in a mouth give me head to look there this is how a player get a
[00:57:35] take a little step the crystals I be fucking only mama did I'm going for this
[00:57:39] sister treat them hoes like I'm they father but you know what nigga ought to
[00:57:43] make them who's been meeting check or who they ask like carry law like yes we
[00:57:46] post a take a dick I'm dropping draws and take the lick and one I'm on the yellow
[00:57:50] sir but like the fuck off in the kitchen got a bitch with one big holy call to
[00:57:54] one of my rolling rollies food is girl is always down when the body start to
[00:57:58] roll it freak bitch bitch everybody need this never suck your balls while I
[00:58:04] all but don't kiss never last long so enjoy it for the moment
[00:58:08] moves nice and line nigga come on in and bone it hidden from the back motor side
[00:58:22] shot like a pencil I'll get my cheap home watch you suck my dick on eyes like a
[00:58:28] change on hard on like kick off I'm gonna get my cheap home watch you suck my
[00:58:33] dick on eyes like a change on hard on like kick off
[00:58:45] I'm gonna get my hair to the day someday like the suck the helmet someday like the
[00:58:52] lick the size some they break up with the guy some they sit with the coke line
[00:58:56] some they look and your eyes some they turn around and hide don't sing in this
[00:59:00] the first time all the best they suck it kind some bitches enjoy the taste some
[00:59:04] they spurt it in they face I like them out like a tunnel fucking with that bitches
[00:59:09] toast to Sunday eat pussy too some do him and do you some get eat the whole
[00:59:13] pie Sunday gagging now I'm not going to buy me a cold to lead up to make some
[00:59:19] about seven ounces a day purple leader and then I'm gonna do the song for guys
[00:59:23] like it either dicks that's uh that's some you may be into my related it's a good
[00:59:30] song it is a good song again the stop theme we don't even have to oh really
[00:59:35] that's a good way to we set the Guinness World Record for longest
[00:59:48] stop saying Nick Nick stop saying chill out take a breath