Cum Town | Premium | 01/09/2022
[00:00:00] We'll stand right next to a man's preneas.
[00:00:14] I'll be sucking down with a bag of my ass.
[00:00:29] If it makes it a year, that's, you know,
[00:00:33] Yeah, depending on how the ad sales go.
[00:00:41] Listen, we're going to do a bunch of these.
[00:00:47] Yeah, in fact, Mack Walton's been ignoring my email.
[00:01:01] Charge up. You pay me a protection racket.
[00:01:05] Well, then with the fucking baseball bag.
[00:01:17] You got an Italian guy with down syndrome.
[00:01:21] Where do you see what this kid does to you?
[00:01:27] Ain't enough anti-microbials in the world
[00:01:40] He choked the death on his fingertips last week.
[00:01:49] We bring him around to the clothing stores.
[00:01:53] We put that fucking turtleneck place out of business
[00:01:59] He's going to try on a couple of the shirts.
[00:02:02] What do you see the top of the lussell in the box?
[00:02:06] He's just buttons flying around like shrapnel.
[00:02:12] So, so with great year at 20, 22, I'm proud of you.
[00:02:17] I feel like I'm feeling really positive about it.
[00:02:22] The vaccines are failing, but women are thriving.
[00:02:29] Well, listen, man, shout out to the little Boosty
[00:02:31] because I was basically tongue kissing Adam
[00:02:33] when he had coronavirus and I didn't get it.
[00:02:40] I was literally inside of your assholes.
[00:02:45] Adam claims this is the second time he got coronavirus.
[00:03:07] You know, you go to fucking skate world.
[00:03:10] You need a little Dr. Pepper, a little Mountain Dew,
[00:03:11] a little fucking the tropical fruit punch.
[00:03:15] Remember when they had high sea on tap?
[00:03:19] What's the why is the high sea, the, the one with the ghost, the booger, booger guy from
[00:03:35] Didn't you say this the second time you got corona?
[00:03:39] Because you, you said you second guys cock and you couldn't smell it.
[00:03:43] And it, normally the, the penis is in France smell like from, from my, from my.
[00:03:50] But I wasn't getting the, like what the hell is this?
[00:03:57] I was like, that came all the way to France.
[00:03:59] It's a suck cock on the sneeke while my girlfriend is at the Louvre.
[00:04:04] And you have no idea how big that building can be.
[00:04:15] I actually, I did go to the Louvre when I was there.
[00:04:21] You got to see the Mona Lisa and it's literally 900 people in the line.
[00:04:26] And there's a million other paintings in the.
[00:04:31] It's, it's a bad painting when you look at it.
[00:04:32] I wouldn't say it's bad, but I don't like, who gives a fuck?
[00:04:36] I'm going to go all the way to France to take a look at a, a picture of some.
[00:04:44] I think it's a, I think it's, that's what I, that's all I'm going to spend my picture.
[00:04:48] I think it's just a gay guy pretending to be a bitch.
[00:04:54] I think Leonardo da Vinci was the Mona Lisa.
[00:04:58] Wait, we've got, I've got sort of a Lana, a Lana, a Wachowski.
[00:05:02] So you're saying I've been jacking off to a fellow this whole time.
[00:05:07] I just posted that picture, Lana, Wachowski, like this is directed to Matrix.
[00:05:10] Oh yeah, black people are like hell no.
[00:05:12] Well, originally everyone's like, this is trans probably like, I didn't say anything about
[00:05:27] You know, and then, and then yeah, the dreadlock thing.
[00:05:31] That's all people, people are mad about her hair.
[00:05:34] I liked it when you made you, because I got so high that I thought I was like solving a
[00:05:42] It's so obvious in hindsight, like there's no twists or turns.
[00:05:46] It tells you everything but at the time I was like, wait, I think Neo is trapped in a new
[00:05:51] I was so high, I was like, I thought I was figuring it out.
[00:05:58] And I'm me and Pete, me and my boy Pete were hanging out on Christmas.
[00:06:04] My brothers were going to come up with a cancel because of Coronavado.
[00:06:07] So it was just me and my boy, just a skeleton crew of two fucking immigrants hanging out.
[00:06:16] He smoked weed for the first time in like years.
[00:06:21] He fucking ate four plates of Chinese food and went to bed for an hour.
[00:06:30] And then he woke up, we watched the Matrix.
[00:06:34] I was like, yeah, dude, I think Nio is in a new version of the Matrix.
[00:06:43] I was like, the first 15 minutes, I was like, okay, this might like I watched the entire
[00:06:51] I liked when they threw people out of the building like bombs.
[00:06:57] But yeah, the movie fucking sucked dick.
[00:07:04] I can say we spoke to joint, but I also had fuck.
[00:07:06] I was also 60 milligrams deep on top of the joints.
[00:07:15] So he taking in a movie, I felt like a genius.
[00:07:19] Although I didn't understand why agent Smith was a hot, sexy gay guy now.
[00:07:27] Well, more for you was he gay or was he just like a robot or some shit?
[00:07:32] I think really I just stay with like agent Smith.
[00:07:34] He needs to help him because he's got some deal with the fucking.
[00:07:54] Well, no, because they just shouldn't the robots be the fucking devil.
[00:07:59] Nio's clearly Jesus and the robots are the devil.
[00:08:05] I think well, this time around to well, they're all like a model now because now this time
[00:08:09] Trinity is like also neo the idea that because they both died.
[00:08:14] So that's not neo and it's not Trinity.
[00:08:19] So they're effectively as much like programs as the rest of them.
[00:08:24] And that's why you know, he okay fly, but at the end Trinity can fly because it's all
[00:08:28] fucking muddled and then also agent Smith when neo kills agent Smith at the end of the
[00:08:33] first one, it's like he kill me the first one does he?
[00:08:38] No, the very first one he goes into flies meant to explode.
[00:08:42] And then that creates this problem where Smith is then reborn into the and he's this
[00:08:52] So he got some of Neos Jit, but none of that show.
[00:08:55] Like there's nothing new story wise in the movie.
[00:09:06] And I was like, what they did bring him back.
[00:09:12] And it's like you brought this actor back.
[00:09:16] He's thinking he's like he's like telling his probably husband, I'm going to be in movies
[00:09:23] And then he's like, I'm going to have a big pouch.
[00:09:27] And it's like, you're just homeless or your feces at a bunch of Chinese people fighting
[00:09:31] and he's like, I will take what I can get to return to the stage.
[00:09:37] And so funny, they're like, yeah, we can't use Morpheus again, but the nerve, we need
[00:09:45] Well, I don't think they wanted Lawrence Fishburn in there.
[00:09:47] And I secretly suspect it's because he made some anti bathroom comments.
[00:09:56] Well, he said he's like, he's like, I don't know why they don't want me back.
[00:10:04] I mean, there's like literally no reason to not have it back unless they had some kind
[00:10:09] of like personal dispute because it's not like, Oh, well, this new idea.
[00:10:13] Yeah, this new idea of like a program version of Morpheus that Neo makes that like that.
[00:10:22] It's like everything narrative wise is necessitated by having to make another matrix movie.
[00:10:27] So it's like, let's what, how can I create this like sort of convoluted plot that just
[00:10:35] is jammed into the other movies so that it makes sense somehow?
[00:10:40] Like it's none of it's motivated by any like I don't, I don't understand what like the
[00:10:45] I mean, yeah, I, you know, I just remember.
[00:10:48] So the first one just rocks absolute cock.
[00:10:51] It's one of the best movies of all time.
[00:10:53] But then I watched the other two just right before the fourth one highest fuck as well.
[00:10:58] And I liked them, but I didn't understand what the fuck was going on at all.
[00:11:03] And the second one, I'm like, why the fuck is the mirror?
[00:11:12] But then again, the Mervin, Jyn the entire time the movie is trying to have a hot wife
[00:11:18] It's trying to distinguish itself from like a case from Marvel bullshit or whatever.
[00:11:27] This is literally worse than fucking Guardians of Galaxy or Captain America.
[00:11:32] Because it's like less entertaining and it's fucking pretentious.
[00:11:35] And like, again, yeah, it doesn't have jokes.
[00:11:39] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
[00:11:45] But the average Marvel movie jokes are kind of fucking, I like the Ant-Man.
[00:12:01] His name of the, don't look at my penis.
[00:12:17] But yeah, man, your problem was not getting high as shit before the Matrix.
[00:12:22] Yeah, if you did that, it's one of the best movies.
[00:12:28] Put on Raiders of the Lost Ark, fixed it.
[00:12:35] Maybe you should, maybe you should get high and rewatch Raiders of the Lost Ark.
[00:12:43] You know what I watched as a kid, but I was never into it and then I got into it more
[00:12:52] Working at the call center, ignoring customers and playing Lego Indiana Jones.
[00:12:58] Making $17,000 a year being like life does not get anything better than that.
[00:13:04] It's a dog shitting on the floor next to me in my apartment.
[00:13:15] I will say him having a cake that makes a girl's pussy wedding.
[00:13:28] You know, I get those blue shoes and sometimes women will be like, what would happen if I
[00:13:33] And I always tell them, remember the pussy cake scene in the matrix?
[00:13:37] And I'm like, that's what would happen.
[00:13:47] Let me tell you about the year you were born.
[00:13:53] Let me tell you about the alternative rock I was listening to.
[00:13:57] Let me tell you about the attacks of September 11th.
[00:14:01] You know, so raising as a machine gone.
[00:14:28] That song was, I feel like it was in like an anime or something higher.
[00:14:33] I feel like that's how I was introduced to it.
[00:14:38] There's some animated movie where there's like, that's I was playing as CVS every single
[00:14:47] You know what I would like to happen this year is for the rock to become transgender.
[00:14:52] That would be a real smooth transition.
[00:15:00] How could he even get to the testosterone?
[00:15:07] They should honestly hook up the rock to like F to M's and just take some of his.
[00:15:14] Give his testosterone to F to M's trans brother.
[00:15:17] Have you ever seen the D transition subreddit?
[00:15:21] Like all the posts are like, FTM, TM, FTM here.
[00:15:25] I've really been going through my third or fourth D transition.
[00:15:29] They're like, I'm having some mixed feelings about it.
[00:15:34] They're like, that is completely natural.
[00:15:46] I feel like the trans community probably hates those people more than they even hate
[00:15:50] Yeah, it's like black people with dolls.
[00:15:53] Well, it's like, you know, there's only one way out with a box.
[00:16:02] So is that people just dabbling with like hormones or do they have all the way?
[00:16:06] Dude, black people hate Rachel Doles, although.
[00:16:08] I don't think they get actual black people.
[00:16:16] Yeah, we're not talking about people who hate.
[00:16:17] No, I think black guys like people who hate.
[00:16:19] The crazy crisis middle class black person.
[00:16:20] I think black, I fucking Omaha that hates themselves.
[00:16:23] I think black fellas like not even Omaha, like the fucking people that are writing like,
[00:16:28] you know, their 18th think piece about insecure or whatever the fuck.
[00:16:35] Yeah, they're like, they're like midwestern.
[00:16:37] Don't get me wrong, but people really, you know, like the media class.
[00:16:44] They hate those all, but I don't know anything about insecure.
[00:16:51] I finally got into I bought it years ago.
[00:16:54] I've finally been able to watch more than three episodes of the terror.
[00:17:00] It's a movie about Nick having to fuck a woman.
[00:17:07] No, it's about like some like these boats that they went looking for.
[00:17:17] I guess, yeah, they all got fucking poisoned by the canned food, but it's like from the
[00:17:22] So there's some like in you, it's spirit that's like, yeah, they're all going crazy.
[00:17:27] They think like ghosts are killing them, but they really just died of botulism.
[00:17:40] The first three episodes are very good.
[00:17:42] And then the last two were kind of weird.
[00:17:44] I'm glad you're glad Chernobyl happened.
[00:17:46] So the final, the final episode is like the trial with Chernobyl or whatever.
[00:17:50] And the guys testifying and they're like, they're like, how could this happen?
[00:17:53] He's like, well, basically because we're Russian and we're bad people.
[00:17:57] So reason it wouldn't ever happen in America.
[00:18:06] They're like, you know, this would never happen in fucking America because they, they
[00:18:20] How dare they besmirch the good Russian people.
[00:18:30] Take that Mr. Gorbachev suck on these balls.
[00:18:33] Take that you fucking port one saying pizza ass.
[00:18:41] Yeah, anyone, anyone that's that has that much power.
[00:18:46] He's just rubbing his, the Italy on his forehead.
[00:18:55] He just rubbed your birthmark on a clit.
[00:19:00] You rub that, you eat a pussy and you fuck and you get your ass eating and your finger
[00:19:14] Even his limp ass dick just getting sucked.
[00:19:16] He's a, he's a, he's like a run show looked like the year before he died.
[00:19:52] They really got bailed out by Nixon, dude.
[00:19:59] He wears, he dressed like dark wing duck.
[00:20:00] But both of those guys, there's pictures of them and like, you know, they're like standing
[00:20:05] They're just like, you're in the White House forever.
[00:20:11] Or I guess he's dead now, but fuck him.
[00:20:19] Donald come felt dripping out of his ass.
[00:20:33] Candace Owens is now going to war with Donald Trump.
[00:20:37] Candace, you don't want the smoke, bitch.
[00:20:38] It's also stupid like it has he at any point been against the vaccines?
[00:20:46] She says sounds interview and she's like, they're bad, right?
[00:20:50] And he's like, listen, aren't you mama?
[00:20:55] I know that you think they're not good for you because you filled with syrup and maybe
[00:21:01] it in a rat, maybe the MRNA and a Rex with the syrup in a way.
[00:21:08] I'll give you that, but regular folks and I don't mean whites.
[00:21:14] I just mean people that aren't filled with syrup.
[00:21:23] They replaced you with the Pearl Millie.
[00:21:29] They're like, oh, can't be in your mama.
[00:21:30] Well, then we'll pick the shittiest name.
[00:21:34] We'll pick the dumbest fucking name we can pick on.
[00:21:39] Why don't they just pick an old white lady?
[00:21:46] And she's a chain smoking lesbian transition guy.
[00:22:01] Yo, I made breakfast if anybody wants some.
[00:22:13] Y'all just the Dallas Buyers Club guy, but with Todd Rungren hair.
[00:22:24] She just drives her car with her big floppy titties.
[00:22:26] I'm trying to lose another five pounds before summer.
[00:22:36] I'm trying to get my beach body ready for summer.
[00:22:54] What'd you guys do for New Year's, man?
[00:22:57] Oh, I went to the Will Madderkers place.
[00:22:59] Why did you show us the stander also would have been there?
[00:23:04] Did he have some fucking delicious shit going?
[00:23:11] Although, I might be dumb a poor shoulder forever.
[00:23:15] We did go hard for a couple years there.
[00:23:18] Bro, I was doing like maybe there was a year or two years of my life.
[00:23:23] Well, when the quarantine started, I was cooking them pretty off.
[00:23:26] I was doing a lot of cooking meat down forever and then having a week of just meat.
[00:23:32] Then I would time so it goes bad right as I finished the last bite.
[00:23:37] Then you turn to the camera looking like the poison control guy.
[00:23:48] Dude, I always thought that little green guy that was going like, oh, it looked cool.
[00:23:54] It never made me not want to take this thing.
[00:23:56] It made me want to take whatever poison.
[00:23:58] Bro, his face was, yeah, you want to be a bad dude.
[00:24:05] I'm just trying to get that fucking lock.
[00:24:08] And of course, I'm trying to be a ninja turtle.
[00:24:15] I just remember a story from 15 years ago of some little boy that was like playing Naruto
[00:24:22] with a sandbox and I just friend Barry is headed the same.
[00:24:29] I don't know when Naruto like how it worked, but there's one.
[00:25:02] He's like, he had his friend Barry, like, you know, like an ostrich, I guess.
[00:25:07] And then he just fucking like, you're like, come on, Kyle.
[00:25:14] Hey, you want to go to my house and play Nintendo DS?
[00:25:23] And those kids are in jail for life now.
[00:25:31] I've been smoking otherwise I go look for him.
[00:25:40] I wonder if anyone got in trouble for him dying.
[00:25:52] I took somebody slipped me some mushrooms.
[00:26:03] It's not like sitting on your couch, drug anymore.
[00:26:10] Mushrooms was always like, take you outside.
[00:26:17] I'm ever walking around on mushrooms on time and I do research.
[00:26:28] Because treat, just looking at a tree will do it for me.
[00:26:31] Dude, who's making them nighttime drugs now?
[00:26:39] They're putting ketamine in the cocaine.
[00:26:43] They got no respect for the simple things.
[00:26:44] They're taking way too much Oxycod and they're driving around.
[00:26:53] Hitting on the lady at Auntie Anne's while fucked up on Oxycod with piss on your shirt.
[00:27:00] Because you weren't tall teas and you forgot to show up at the URL.
[00:27:05] You could piss all over yourself and then you proposed to the woman out Auntie Anne.
[00:27:18] So kids are doing mushrooms in the fucking world.
[00:27:20] Yeah, well my girlfriend only does mushrooms because of the fentanyl stuff.
[00:27:30] You know what they need to do is make a little bit of mushrooms.
[00:27:31] They need to make a have fun for a couple hours.
[00:27:40] And it probably works as well as the Corona one.
[00:27:49] I mean they've created a fentanyl vaccine and it's mandated.
[00:27:59] But if you want to go to elementary school, you got to have that fucking vaccine.
[00:28:07] They're already fucking doing mushrooms at night.
[00:28:10] And not even have the decency to have a urine proposal to the beautiful.
[00:28:16] The beautiful women of onto the beautiful Guatemalan woman.
[00:28:22] I didn't even have the decency to do that.
[00:28:25] So frankly, no, I don't trust with that she is high.
[00:28:28] I don't trust the kindergartner to go learn the ABCs without being vaccinated against
[00:28:33] the drugs that he'll probably be doing in the classroom.
[00:28:42] Who's the youngest kid you knew the dude that did drugs and what age drugs drugs?
[00:28:48] My friend David, who is also simultaneously the funniest person I've ever met.
[00:28:51] There was always like one or two kids that were like smoking at like eight.
[00:28:58] But then yeah, I guess there's this hyper molested child.
[00:29:01] He's my friend that we saw in New Orleans who had five kids and the life had been sucked
[00:29:07] But at 14, 13, 12, the absolute funniest person I've ever met.
[00:29:17] So whenever you say I'm not brave enough to even get close, you've run out of he's
[00:29:23] He'd like get erections in class, stand up and give oral presentations.
[00:29:33] He would tell on the he would tell on the retarded kid in in P for high sticking and
[00:29:41] the retarded kid wasn't even doing any.
[00:29:58] He had to go to a special school in high school because he got caught doing drugs.
[00:30:07] And then he got kicked out of special school and his parents sent him to Orthodox religious
[00:30:13] Oh, I also got to say, he definitely got fucked up.
[00:30:15] This is day two of like, so I never like did none of the jewel shit.
[00:30:25] No, I this is day two of not vaping, but that shit is fucking it's like that is the
[00:30:37] Well, because the first time in the first, yeah, the jewel never really did it.
[00:30:40] I mean, one of those like diamond air bars.
[00:30:43] And it's like smoking an entire pack of cigarettes.
[00:30:46] You fucking just like melt into the cap.
[00:30:52] But then yeah, I mean, now it's like shout out to big tobacco reinventing themselves.
[00:30:56] Yeah, I just have to suck on this fucking vape pen all day long.
[00:31:03] But I've gone two days and I feel like absolute fucking shit.
[00:31:10] I mean, I used to smoke a decent amount of cigarettes and quitting.
[00:31:18] Where you're just really fucking uncomfortable when you want to punch holes and drywall all
[00:31:22] And then after those three days, it's fine.
[00:31:25] Well, you could do so speaking of OxyContin, just start doing that to win yourself off
[00:31:30] I'm just actually just going to have a cigarette a day and try to get back to my old habit
[00:31:40] That is good because they did big tobacco is smart because not only they got kids smoking
[00:31:46] that shit now and we literally do think to cigarettes are better than.
[00:31:51] It's created something that cigarettes are better than.
[00:31:53] Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day can help you quit vaping.
[00:32:00] There's some 60 year old guy that's like, I smoked cigarettes for 47 years.
[00:32:05] And then I tried to quit by picking up vaping, which was way worse.
[00:32:12] Oh, speaking of cigarettes, I watched the insider that movie.
[00:32:39] I don't I can't I came in to let you know I don't burn people.
[00:32:44] Do you think they just they had snitches ever?
[00:32:52] I hope I know he gets divorced or I hope he gets pussy at the end.
[00:32:57] It's the rare Michael Man movie where there's no pussy and there's no shooting.
[00:33:06] But he takes his gun in his backyard when he thinks some of the gender stuff is like,
[00:33:14] Yeah, when she's like, well, we're who's going to pay for the house.
[00:33:20] What if what who's going to pay for the house on my hair cuts to get a job?
[00:33:23] You fuck my my personal or my addiction to person.
[00:33:34] It's almost like you can see my brain justifying cheating immediately.
[00:33:38] It's like you can see the wheels turning.
[00:33:41] You can see the weird way I justify cheating on you, not by someone who can even provide
[00:33:49] Oh, even within the context of my weird cheating, earnedness.
[00:33:55] Now, you know, you're still going to be a fuck.
[00:34:10] But Carmella wanted to just, she wanted attention, dude.
[00:34:16] Not like Tony who made her feel good smart.
[00:34:31] But yeah, she immediately was like, all right, I got, I got to get a new husband while there's
[00:34:36] some tread on this pussy before I really go to shit.
[00:34:40] That was clearly, that was clearly the fucking calculus that character was doing.
[00:34:49] The fucking scene on the beach at the end.
[00:34:55] Dress is fucking, but you know goes off when Pichino goes off with them for burning it
[00:35:00] for like, you know, one shelf the interview because they're selling the company.
[00:35:04] Oh, I might just go rewatch that right now.
[00:35:08] Him when they, my friend, let's guys ISO.
[00:35:22] He's like, whoa, who was, who was the fucking coffee?
[00:35:58] A rubber hard boiled egg and some carrots.
[00:36:07] And I know I got my protein for the day.
[00:36:22] The little Chinese girls that have already placed the order online.
[00:36:38] They do it so I can't talk to them in line.
[00:36:43] Luckily, I figured out how to block the door.
[00:37:00] They might do want me a quiet little Chinese girl.
[00:37:02] I copied that grande in a venti cup thing from one of those Chinese girls.
[00:37:11] Every time I get coffee, I spill over all my clothes.
[00:37:15] The Chinese girl do it at Starbucks once.
[00:37:30] No, she's the smartest person in the world.
[00:37:32] It's got to suck to be a big fat kind of Chinese girl.
[00:37:39] I mean, I think just it's hard to be a big fat lady.
[00:37:43] First of all, I feel like a big fat white bitch or like, you know, a Mexican lady.
[00:37:49] There's definitely a zone for big fat Chinese girls.
[00:37:57] Like people will fuck you or what do you mean by a zone?
[00:37:59] I mean, it's just not like a type of person to be.
[00:38:02] No, but it's like, I guess what I'm saying is that they're not very represented.
[00:38:05] I mean, like who the fuck are the big fat?
[00:38:08] It's not like you can just be the big fat Chinese bitch.
[00:38:10] But that's there's like, I'm just ready for some dumpling.
[00:38:14] All the, all the, all the, I mean, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can fucking create
[00:38:29] He sounds like all the, all the wearing an inner tube.
[00:38:33] We're a little dinosaur inner tube, but all times that sounds.
[00:38:36] So ready to float, ready to float the Yang C for some dumplings.
[00:38:47] Ooh, it's, it's an, it's a blown up version of what would be like a diminutive kind of,
[00:39:07] Like soup dumpling or classic that's steamed pork chive.
[00:39:14] I'll probably just get a fucking breakfast sando from the bidet guy.
[00:39:21] Go to the little bitches, bitches do brunch.
[00:39:24] I feel like I've worked my way through this.
[00:39:26] Like literally nothing I've got an appetite for anymore.
[00:39:37] Sometimes I think maybe like barbecue, but it's like, no, you know about a steak.
[00:39:59] Went to a place in Queens and people said it was good.
[00:40:09] I got a burger again recently and I fucked up.
[00:40:10] I don't know why I always do it, but I'll get like blue cheese or blue cheese derivative
[00:40:20] They always taste like permanent marker and I forget and then I order it again and I'm
[00:40:24] like, okay, well, I guess I'm just eating a fucking sharpie.
[00:40:29] The only time I have blue cheese on a wedge salad.
[00:40:33] The only house wedge salad or yeah, yeah.
[00:40:36] That's the other time, of course, or the dressing for wings.
[00:40:40] Otherwise, I don't do a fuck about that.
[00:40:54] Maybe I'll get a big breakfast sandwich.
[00:40:59] What are you guys excited about coming up in your lives?
[00:41:04] There's not something along that you're going to a wedding or something.
[00:41:08] No, the wedding's canceled for coronavirus.
[00:41:26] They need to be able to have for a long time.
[00:41:36] I mean, it's like that type of comedy is like, I don't remember it, but I remember it being
[00:41:45] Yeah, because it's funny and they get pussy in it.
[00:41:58] I mean, the amount of times I said that.
[00:42:01] When he goes to school, when he's getting pussy at funeral, that's very awesome.
[00:42:06] And somebody that never saw wedding crassers to see it now, it is bizarre.
[00:42:12] It's like the way the comedy doesn't hit for me is like trying to explain a dream to somebody
[00:42:18] and then like right after you wake up and you're like, you got it.
[00:42:22] So, but there's a house, but the house has like legs, but it's like a car.
[00:42:28] And then you'd like just sort of come, you realize that you're like just speaking nonsense.
[00:42:34] You know, I had a dream like that where I was, I was, I was somewhere and it was my friend's
[00:42:42] And I had sex with her and that's all I remember, but that was the dream I had today.
[00:42:47] Oh, because I, I mean, last morning, this, yeah, this night.
[00:42:52] Where I was like, she's a, she's a mom, but then she shifts into a hot young girl with
[00:42:57] But then when we're not fucking, she goes back to being a mom.
[00:43:01] God, that's who I'm kind of getting married to.
[00:43:05] And we were in a big house and it was weird.
[00:43:07] We're like a big fat Chinese bitch that shrinks into a normal one when you fuck her.
[00:43:13] And then she expands back into a bigger one.
[00:43:19] Now, if she's got the inner tube with the dinosaur.
[00:43:21] Now, at some point you wanted to fuck her fat, could you or was that impossible?
[00:43:25] I think that's, let's say, let's go ahead and say that's impossible.
[00:43:31] Because you would at least like to have the option.
[00:43:32] But I'm being, I'm the analyst in the Matrix now.
[00:43:37] We found that the only thing people want is to have a big fat Chinese bitch that shrinks
[00:43:43] But, and they don't actually want to fuck the big fat Chinese bitch, but if you tell
[00:43:49] You created a chasm of hope, which is identical to despair.
[00:43:58] You talking like that makes me realize, yeah, I guess it didn't really make any sense.
[00:44:02] I'm not going to let you take the positive.
[00:44:09] It was a stupid movie, but I loved the gay is part of the writer's route.
[00:44:13] The original, the original is good because it's like, it's supposed to be an answer to
[00:44:18] this pre-9-11, like, kind of nihilism where people just go about their fucking like,
[00:44:30] You can identify what makes it fucking suck.
[00:44:32] So the idea that there's some like secret world to escape to doesn't really like do
[00:44:40] Yeah, because the Matrix isn't that tight.
[00:44:46] And then so this one it's like, okay, but the answer is like, you know, like, like,
[00:44:54] And it's like, and they represent that through this like fictional relationship between these
[00:44:59] like two characters that I don't give a fuck about anymore and have it in 20 years or
[00:45:06] I guess since I didn't see, I guess since I didn't see, I mean, I saw the original
[00:45:09] mention at Rockcock, but I still, I still got love for my man, Neo, mostly because of
[00:45:17] So it's like, because Keanu means more to me now than he did back then.
[00:45:23] John Wick is a million times better than any of the Matrix sequels without question without
[00:45:30] So it's like, and it's like, they're not that I mean, John Wick is just a Matrix if the
[00:45:36] Matrix wasn't real and he was just a guy that was cool and he was cool.
[00:45:42] It's like, what if it was Neo, but there's just no story whatsoever.
[00:45:54] So it's like that they could have just done that.
[00:45:57] They could have made it like, what like, they should have gone like, do the Matrix one again.
[00:46:03] So we don't need to know that there's a secret world that we could all escape to where we
[00:46:07] have like real freedom that we can't like obtain through, I don't know, like a middle-class
[00:46:13] life or, you know, buying shit or going on the fucking media.
[00:46:27] And then they just make John Wick for without permission.
[00:46:32] And then when they get sued, they say, no, it's Neo.
[00:46:36] And it's the thing that he's John Wick.
[00:46:41] You know, and then mostly the movie is just sort of like a preemptive legal argument.
[00:46:49] And it's just like he wakes up at the end, Neo wakes up.
[00:46:54] And it's the Matrix verse instead of the John Wick verse.
[00:46:59] It's maybe a three, four hundred pound Asian woman wearing an inner tube with a little
[00:47:27] Oh, so you're saying shit was good in the 1990s.
[00:47:35] I mean, I think people were just sort of like.
[00:47:39] It's like, there's no big conflict in the world that I guess most people are aware of.
[00:47:48] Yeah, no, it gives a fuck about Kosovo.
[00:47:53] Yeah, Bill Clinton is like, dude, Bill Clinton is rocks.
[00:47:58] He plays saxophone and he gets pussy from a child.
[00:48:03] I love how people think he's not a pedophile and it's like the documented sex scandal
[00:48:10] that we know about is almost pedophilia.
[00:48:13] The premise of the first movie kind of invalidates the rest of it or certainly like this one.
[00:48:21] Because it's like the first one takes place in an ideal world where, you know, I guess
[00:48:27] the only thing Neo doesn't have is fucking friends or a social life.
[00:48:34] He doesn't really like his job and he doesn't have any fucking friends.
[00:48:38] Can he feel that there's something fucked up in sinister going on though?
[00:48:41] Isn't that why he's hacking or whatever the fuck?
[00:48:43] Yeah, well, he's just looking for Morpheus.
[00:48:45] I mean, you can extract all of these other ideas about, you know, why is he looking for
[00:48:51] Because he's falling in the white rabbit, dude.
[00:48:53] Because he's fucking because he's a loser.
[00:48:55] Because he's just a fucking guy that, you know, he wants to be more important than he
[00:49:10] One thing I really did like though is they had the aunt from Family Matters in, she was
[00:49:20] It was cool to see her back in our race.
[00:49:25] That's what they should have changed on Jamaima too is on.
[00:49:31] That's, I was like, I was not paying attention for it though.
[00:49:35] Every time she was like, who the fuck is this?
[00:49:42] I was just like, who the fuck is that lady?
[00:49:46] The real worst part of that movie is when they're in the writer's room for Matrix 4.
[00:49:52] And they were like, what were the first three Matrix's about?
[00:49:59] And then one of them was like, was it about being trans?
[00:50:10] I must have been getting some low main.
[00:50:15] I forgot what the fucking place was called.
[00:50:18] There's two places I ordered Chinese from.
[00:50:21] I don't want to give the wrong one credit.
[00:50:24] You ordered for the bad one when you're feeling self-destructive?
[00:50:28] Well, sometimes one of them randomly close.
[00:50:30] The good one, you know, good business can just randomly close.
[00:50:36] I come back like a little fucking pig every time.
[00:50:39] And then I got from the bad one and I was like, it can't be that bad.
[00:50:51] You get from the good place every entree is 20 bucks and you want every entree.
[00:51:03] Me and just one other guy, we put up a $150 tab, no problem.
[00:51:18] You want to be a fucking middle school girl?
[00:51:24] You just do it all day long and then it stresses you out and you're like, damn, something's
[00:51:37] Dude, I'm about to paint my dick aluminum and make you suck it.
[00:51:59] Dude, that should have been the enemy at the end of the Wild Wild West.
[00:52:00] There's like a train that's just a day with steam.
[00:52:04] And that's like an handicap guy that's like, guess who's bringing it on a slave or a
[00:52:23] And then they're like, they realize they're sticky.
[00:52:27] You let a giant robot fuck me in the ass.
[00:52:35] You can't make an excellent movie like Wild Wild West anymore where the villain is disabled.
[00:52:45] Yeah, the hero now has to be a black or white man.
[00:52:53] We can still get away with white women.
[00:52:55] They should be the villain in every movie.
[00:52:57] Did I, have I shared the detail that I thought Kevin Klein was Calvin Klein who made underwear?
[00:53:06] When I saw the movie, I was like, I was like, Mom, I didn't know Calvin Klein was an actor.
[00:53:10] That was like his, I was like his new man's illness.
[00:53:16] That was like his secondary revenue stream.
[00:53:17] And for like years, I thought Calvin Klein was Kevin Klein.
[00:53:20] Why are these people wearing these Wild Wild West underpants all the time?
[00:53:23] I was like, wow, he makes underwear too.
[00:53:40] That's the movie they should have made.
[00:53:44] I think they made a sequel to the movie they should have been called Chinese Chinese West.
[00:53:50] And Jackie Chan could have done all the music.
[00:53:55] Well, we go straight to wild Chinese Chinese West.
[00:54:17] Didn't he also have like a lesbian daughter that he doesn't fuck with?
[00:54:21] I think Jake Chan's actually not chill anymore.
[00:54:33] We were talking about how, isn't that movie called Crimes of Mr. Meaners?
[00:54:37] Isn't that basically a movie about a guy who gets away with doing something horrible?
[00:54:41] And the lesson is, hey, life gave you a free pass.
[00:54:47] That's basically him admitting he molested.
[00:54:49] He didn't do something horrible with a kid in that movie.
[00:54:59] And it's basically him saying, I did it.
[00:55:01] And in Manhattan, he gets his 17 year old girlfriend back at the end.
[00:55:05] And that's what's really beautiful and important.
[00:55:08] Which is kind of an if I did it situation too.
[00:55:12] Well, there was that one girl that was like, yeah, when I was in high school, I used to fuck
[00:55:16] Woody Allen and have three systems with him and me.
[00:55:18] But honestly, there's some of the greatest memories of my life.
[00:55:28] Because if you're like a fucking senior in high school, like a famous lady.
[00:55:31] Those are the most vapid girls in the world.
[00:55:33] Those are the kind of girls that would see Woody Allen and be like, yeah.
[00:55:38] Like a 15 year old girl would be like, what?
[00:55:44] They like like, shouldn't they like like a more stereotypically hot guy?
[00:55:52] That's who we want more less than our teenagers.
[00:55:55] I'm not saying that he didn't have a right to molest the kids.
[00:55:58] I'm just saying it's surprising that a 16 year old girl would be like, yes.
[00:56:05] Maybe she was a, maybe she was a very famous.
[00:56:07] Maybe she was a girl and she's, she's all that before she took her glasses off.
[00:56:13] Woody Allen was like, I bet you got a nice pair of tits under there.
[00:56:27] And they're like, they got to take the hottest girl in school and get her fat as shit.
[00:56:36] Honestly, the hottest girl in school with a 20 extra pounds on her.
[00:56:40] That's basically my, you just described my dream here.
[00:56:48] But anyway, yeah, Woody did it is my point because based on crimes in Mr. Munerson, Manhattan
[00:56:54] alone, I'm just not going on the record about it.
[00:57:07] A woman went down for a woman went down for men's crimes for men's crimes and now free her.
[00:57:16] Not only that like, you know, like, you know, nobody who actually raped the kids is going
[00:57:22] They're running world bank or whatever the fuck.
[00:57:25] On top of that, the same day that like, you know, MSNBC or CNN will cover like the verdict.
[00:57:37] Be like, we got to get these vaccines into children now.
[00:57:45] They're like, I just no questions about like his financial interest in any of that.
[00:57:55] I know the list of people that fucked kids on that plane is so funny.
[00:57:58] You think you think they're going to you think the Illuminati is about to do a heat check
[00:58:03] I don't know, man, but it that would be awesome.
[00:58:10] I don't know it goes without saying, but it's just crazy that by chance because of like
[00:58:15] runaway media hysteria, cashing in, not because they actually give a fuck about Donald Trump's
[00:58:24] It's just like this, all this money to be made fucking like pearl clutching about Donald
[00:58:31] They accidentally step in the fucking Epstein thing with the Acosta appointment.
[00:58:35] And then they loop everybody in and this guy who first of all, there's no way there's
[00:58:44] This is like, you know, he's like, he's like a fucking like a grub hub driver for elite
[00:58:55] There's a there's a there's like a pedophile version of Home Depot somewhere and there's
[00:58:59] 15 Jeffrey Epstein's hanging out outside.
[00:59:02] They're like, you want to do you want to fuck his today?
[00:59:07] I have a island you can call me into the fuck the keys.
[00:59:10] There's definitely eight other pedophile islands.
[00:59:18] Every time they destroy a matrix because every time you say that the elites can't do something
[00:59:22] fucked up with it with anything, they get revenge on regular people by doing something
[00:59:29] We used to use islands to test nuclear bombs.
[00:59:31] And then you said, you couldn't do that anymore.
[00:59:32] They're like, well, guess what we're going to do on them now.
[00:59:38] So there's a million fucking Jeffrey Epstein said media accidentally steps in it.
[00:59:43] We have to fucking like, okay, well, we'll put them in jail and kill them.
[00:59:47] Well, he was the most and people are like, well, what about Gilean?
[00:59:50] They're like, all right, we'll bring her in and then we will.
[00:59:53] It's yet to be seen what happens in terms of her sentence singer.
[00:59:58] But when this happens, fucking like every CEO in the world resigns in fall of that year,
[01:00:05] then there's a fucking pandemic lockdown for two years.
[01:00:08] And now the guys that are implicated who have a financial interest in these like fucking
[01:00:14] vaccines are invited on TV to insist that everybody fucking takes them.
[01:00:19] Bill, Billy Trilly Gates is making some cash off the vaccines.
[01:00:22] Dude, he's made saw he's made most of his money over the last fucking 20 years off.
[01:00:26] Like like vaccine bullshit in Africa and India.
[01:00:31] A lot of them too have like seriously fucked people up with the malaria stuff.
[01:00:37] A lot of them like the pertussis vaccine, fuck people up.
[01:00:40] There's a lot of like, and you know, because there's a clips of him being like the goal
[01:00:44] of vaccination is to lower the world population or whatever.
[01:00:48] Because like, you know, it's like, oh, like African women weren't losing their kids to
[01:00:55] But I mean, and so it's like take it quote unquote like taken out of context.
[01:01:00] But isn't there a hell of African orphans out there?
[01:01:06] Yeah, they, Angela and Jolie got breast cancer.
[01:01:09] She says she can't breastfeed any other anymore.
[01:01:18] Otherwise, they're all wearing Ronald Deenio jerseys and carrying M6 teams.
[01:01:22] Didn't they have a daughter that looked just like Brad Pitt, but now I think they're trans
[01:01:28] So the Brad Pitt daughter now is just a Brad Pitt son, or maybe it's a Brad Pitt they
[01:01:38] I love the fucking she told him like the Harvey wants to rate me and he's like, that sucks,
[01:01:55] Your wife tells you some fucking piece of shit rape.