[00:00:00] Good afternoon.

[00:00:02] Good afternoon.

[00:00:04] Good afternoon.

[00:00:06] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:08] Good afternoon.

[00:00:09] My name is...

[00:00:11] My name is Professor David Stephanie.

[00:00:14] I'm one of the mentally ill homosexuals that invented the vaccines.

[00:00:18] Have you seen that account?

[00:00:21] It's like somebody that works on the vaccines, but it's like just a furry account?

[00:00:24] That's so sad.

[00:00:25] And then there's people that are like...

[00:00:28] They're like, um, Star Fox?

[00:00:30] I had a couple of questions about...

[00:00:32] About side effects or like super, super good question.

[00:00:36] Just wearing the costume.

[00:00:39] That's fucking like claws on the keyboard.

[00:00:41] Oh, hell yeah dude.

[00:00:42] And it's like this is...

[00:00:44] Like, I mean, it's such a stupid commentary, but like, how the fuck is this the world we live in?

[00:00:51] Yeah.

[00:00:52] Because that's not...

[00:00:54] I mean, like, I don't...

[00:00:55] I'll leave it up to the LGBTQ community, of course.

[00:00:58] If they want to...

[00:00:59] They want to claim furries.

[00:01:00] If they want to include the Chuck E. Cheese Band.

[00:01:03] Right.

[00:01:04] In their parade, whatever it is.

[00:01:06] If they want to eat some fucking feathery pussy.

[00:01:09] Right.

[00:01:10] If they want to f...

[00:01:11] If they want to finger pop some cloaca off the bitches.

[00:01:13] Right.

[00:01:14] Who's fucking kidding?

[00:01:15] Yeah, I got it surgically replaced as one hole.

[00:01:18] That would be sick if you...

[00:01:20] If bird furries were like...

[00:01:22] I'm making my pussy an asshole one thing.

[00:01:24] Feathering.

[00:01:25] Yeah.

[00:01:26] Featheries.

[00:01:27] Well, that's basically what...

[00:01:28] That would be too big.

[00:01:29] That's what some of the doctors do.

[00:01:31] It's crazy because like, all that surgery is like, relatively new.

[00:01:34] So there are just some Dr. Nick motherfuckers that are like, I can give you a pussy.

[00:01:39] You know, and then...

[00:01:40] Oops, it's a daisy.

[00:01:42] Now you shit out of your nose.

[00:01:45] An arm for a leg and a leg for an arm.

[00:01:48] I always thought it would be very elegant if you wanted to have both to have a pussy under your balls.

[00:01:53] You just lift your balls up and there's a pussy.

[00:01:56] I don't know.

[00:01:57] That seems like underused space.

[00:01:58] That seems like you're begging for ball pain.

[00:02:01] Imagine you're just getting railed.

[00:02:03] Somebody's pubic bone is just smashing the ear and mouth point.

[00:02:06] I never even thought of that.

[00:02:07] Which...

[00:02:08] You could only get fucked from the back.

[00:02:09] They tried to...

[00:02:10] They tried to...

[00:02:11] They tried to...

[00:02:12] They tried to like retract into, you know, like their safe space and they're already back

[00:02:17] then to a corner.

[00:02:18] Right.

[00:02:19] Right.

[00:02:20] Dude, that's true.

[00:02:21] I guess I was just thinking of it from just a...

[00:02:24] I don't know.

[00:02:25] I guess aesthetics, I guess.

[00:02:27] Like a world piece kind of...

[00:02:29] Yeah, like bringing the genders together.

[00:02:32] Well, just...

[00:02:33] I think it would be a neat...

[00:02:35] But you're right.

[00:02:36] In theory, it's a neat solution in practice though.

[00:02:39] Yeah, yeah.

[00:02:40] You're making for not pain.

[00:02:41] Although I do think if you got fucked from behind, that would probably solve it.

[00:02:45] I mean, it's kind of like that's what gay sex is.

[00:02:47] No.

[00:02:48] There's a hole right behind your balls.

[00:02:50] Yeah.

[00:02:51] But it's further behind.

[00:02:52] The maid for TV adaptation of the normal heart.

[00:02:55] Good point, sir.

[00:02:56] Yeah.

[00:02:57] The normal heart?

[00:02:58] Yeah.

[00:02:59] That's what they fuck missionary style in that movie.

[00:03:01] That's romantic.

[00:03:02] Mark Ruffalo has missionary style.

[00:03:04] Yeah.

[00:03:05] Gay sex.

[00:03:06] Gay guys...

[00:03:07] They deserve it to each other's eyes.

[00:03:08] They deserve an award for doing that.

[00:03:09] I think they got an award.

[00:03:10] An AVN award.

[00:03:11] Yeah.

[00:03:12] They must have a nice, hard, big-ass dick.

[00:03:15] I tried fucking somewhere in the ass that way one time.

[00:03:18] I was in a hotel.

[00:03:20] You tried fucking a guy that way?

[00:03:22] No, it was a girl.

[00:03:23] Thank you very much.

[00:03:24] Okay.

[00:03:25] It wasn't a guy.

[00:03:26] It was Mark Ruffalo.

[00:03:27] It was Mark Ruffalo.

[00:03:28] Dude, I was in a movie and enlarged heart.

[00:03:30] A clogged heart?

[00:03:32] Yeah.

[00:03:33] And it was just a...

[00:03:38] I mean, I always have a little dick, so I don't know if that's part of it.

[00:03:41] A little dick.

[00:03:42] No, it's just flexibility.

[00:03:43] I think a longer dick really helps any kind of strange sex position.

[00:03:47] I think longer, not fatter, longer.

[00:03:50] Longer.

[00:03:51] And I don't have that.

[00:03:52] I have a regular standard issue.

[00:03:54] And you know, you can't be doing that wild Mark Ruffalo gay sex with a woman that way.

[00:04:00] The problem was...

[00:04:01] I mean, it's probably just...

[00:04:02] Yeah, I think I'm moving to Adam.

[00:04:03] It's probably a flexibility thing.

[00:04:05] Yeah.

[00:04:06] On my behalf for her.

[00:04:07] No, the girl has to be able to...

[00:04:08] The girl was flexible.

[00:04:09] She was very flexible.

[00:04:10] Far back in the...

[00:04:12] This was also...

[00:04:13] We were fucking in...

[00:04:14] I was eating a pussy and...

[00:04:16] The maid...

[00:04:18] We just opened the door.

[00:04:19] I was keeping...

[00:04:20] And I was eating pussy on all fours and she looked at my ass.

[00:04:23] Yeah.

[00:04:24] Asshole-looking.

[00:04:25] And she was like, I was a doctor in my country.

[00:04:27] Ashley, Ashley...

[00:04:28] You really want to get that check back?

[00:04:30] She was like, actually...

[00:04:31] You have polyps coming out of your ass.

[00:04:33] She's like, this is...

[00:04:35] I don't mean to pry, but...

[00:04:37] That would be awesome.

[00:04:39] I went to...

[00:04:40] You have a mole.

[00:04:41] Those people really should just have condoms alone on that card.

[00:04:44] There's really no reason.

[00:04:46] Well, maybe it's, I guess, it's just...

[00:04:48] I wouldn't use the house.

[00:04:49] The house.

[00:04:50] Confirmation bias.

[00:04:51] But the housekeeping people are...

[00:04:53] You'd think by now they would have figured out, like,

[00:04:56] don't come in the room.

[00:04:58] Mm-hmm.

[00:04:59] You know?

[00:05:00] Sure.

[00:05:01] I was in one hotel one time and it was like...

[00:05:03] The shower was right next to the door.

[00:05:05] Completely...

[00:05:06] Yep.

[00:05:07] Open.

[00:05:08] Yeah.

[00:05:09] And this lady comes in and she's like, just cleaning the bathroom.

[00:05:11] I'm like, excuse me.

[00:05:13] You're showering or...?

[00:05:14] Yeah, yeah.

[00:05:15] She's like, oh, I'm sorry.

[00:05:17] My bleeds.

[00:05:18] I'm just standing there.

[00:05:19] I'm completely naked.

[00:05:21] You think she would have sucked that off?

[00:05:22] Taking one of my classic cold showers too.

[00:05:24] Wow.

[00:05:25] Cold showers.

[00:05:26] You're in there screaming.

[00:05:27] She thought I was...

[00:05:28] She probably thought I was a statue.

[00:05:30] Yeah.

[00:05:31] That's probably it.

[00:05:32] Wow.

[00:05:33] Cold showers.

[00:05:34] Your dick probably looked little.

[00:05:35] Oh, incredible.

[00:05:36] It's awesome.

[00:05:37] It is fucking awesome, dude.

[00:05:39] I took it back when I was in real good shape.

[00:05:41] I took, like, a 30 minute cold shower.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:43] And you're like, yeah, this is a Michelangelo.

[00:05:45] Yeah.

[00:05:46] This is a child's pain.

[00:05:50] Damn.

[00:05:51] You're like a Michelangelo.

[00:05:53] Do you think that particular maid would have sucked your dick if you asked?

[00:05:58] I mean, I think they all would, right?

[00:06:01] That was our buddy Dominic Strauss-Con.

[00:06:03] That's what it is.

[00:06:04] Oh, it just started doing your list, or...?

[00:06:07] Yeah, what are you doing, cleaning?

[00:06:09] Oh, really, he would...

[00:06:12] Would he rape the major fuck?

[00:06:13] My mom used to clean up a time.

[00:06:14] He would rape the time.

[00:06:15] Damn.

[00:06:16] When she was gone, I'd put on a clothes.

[00:06:17] A hotel maid?

[00:06:18] I think so, yeah.

[00:06:19] Damn.

[00:06:20] He was in a hotel.

[00:06:21] Yeah, some, like, Senegalese woman.

[00:06:23] Damn.

[00:06:24] That's where we were looking at hotels recently.

[00:06:26] I was like, we should get to Dominic Strauss-Con.

[00:06:28] Can you imagine that?

[00:06:29] We get the heart of the rape hotel.

[00:06:31] I don't want the rape hotel, man.

[00:06:32] The vibes are bad in a room.

[00:06:33] You grew up under French colonialism.

[00:06:35] Uh-huh.

[00:06:36] And then they leave your country.

[00:06:38] It's just really a con.

[00:06:40] Your family makes it out.

[00:06:42] You're a maiden man, hand, at the fucking nicest hotel in the world.

[00:06:46] And then some fucking frog bastard is like, take it.

[00:06:51] I need help with it, darling.

[00:06:53] Please, Mrs. Coconut, I need you to open the bathroom.

[00:06:58] Dominic, show us who he looks.

[00:07:00] I don't need to leave it.

[00:07:01] He's an old...

[00:07:02] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:07:03] This looks like a French rapist.

[00:07:05] A French economist, politician, and rapist.

[00:07:09] Yeah, what was the IMF for World Bank?

[00:07:11] World Bank, I don't know.

[00:07:12] The Monique

[00:07:05] Stravos.

[00:07:12] What are those?

[00:07:13] What are those?

[00:07:14] One of the two.

[00:07:15] That shit seems fake.

[00:07:16] That seems like bullshit.

[00:07:17] What?

[00:07:18] The world bank.

[00:07:19] Yeah, that's like a...

[00:07:20] That's late capitalism for me.

[00:07:22] Yeah, that's my name.

[00:07:23] That's like Bill and Melinda Gates.

[00:07:25] Oh, yeah.

[00:07:26] This man is a fucking rapist if I've ever seen one.

[00:07:28] He's got rape eyes.

[00:07:29] He's got that French rape energy about him.

[00:07:33] Oh, look at this picture.

[00:07:34] What are they doing?

[00:07:35] I'm hurting today.

[00:07:36] Look at this picture.

[00:07:37] I'm hurting today.

[00:07:38] Look at this picture.

[00:07:39] I mean, if this isn't the guy that rapes...

[00:07:41] I think they're in the bathroom.

[00:07:43] Guys, just look.

[00:07:44] Just Google Image Search.

[00:07:46] Dominic Strauss-Con.

[00:07:47] You'll know the one we're laughing at.

[00:07:49] It's about halfway down.

[00:07:52] He's kind of tenting his fingers doing some rape eyes.

[00:07:56] See, I'm loving this Eric Adams, by the way, guys.

[00:07:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:07:59] I'm loving our new mayor.

[00:08:00] Yeah, he's looking...

[00:08:01] We got an entree as a mayor.

[00:08:02] This is fucking like 800 million people in the hospital.

[00:08:05] And he's like, you got to be cool.

[00:08:07] We got to be welcome.

[00:08:09] And you got to be collected.

[00:08:11] And then he was talking about how, you know, cooks can't have jobs in an office.

[00:08:17] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:18] To discuss the omnichron situation.

[00:08:21] Zap and Roger, ladies and gentlemen.

[00:08:23] Oh, yeah.

[00:08:24] Just like a break then.

[00:08:27] Oh, Tom.

[00:08:29] Tom, Tom.

[00:08:32] It'd be great if he had a really fat, loud, white wife.

[00:08:35] Oh, yeah.

[00:08:36] That would be awesome.

[00:08:37] Yeah, mean white wife.

[00:08:38] But who also, uh, code switched.

[00:08:40] Yeah, the age is meme-y, bo-ba, Italian meme-y, bo-ba.

[00:08:44] Yeah.

[00:08:45] Yeah.

[00:08:46] God damn.

[00:08:48] Yeah, he's fucking hilarious.

[00:08:50] He calls him Eric.

[00:08:51] Dude, I love his speech about bringing Swaggo back.

[00:08:56] Yeah.

[00:08:57] I think before he got inaugurated, he had some speech about how he got a lot of pussy.

[00:09:05] Yeah.

[00:09:06] Just Brooklyn, bro.

[00:09:07] President.

[00:09:08] Sick.

[00:09:09] Yeah.

[00:09:10] His, his pretty, what's his whole thing is that he's a cop and he likes Bitcoin.

[00:09:14] Yep.

[00:09:15] That's it.

[00:09:16] That's so chill.

[00:09:17] And then the guy who is terrible too.

[00:09:19] So she's just unelected.

[00:09:21] She's just an unelected.

[00:09:22] She's just a fucking guy.

[00:09:23] Oh, no.

[00:09:24] Shouldn't we have, shouldn't there automatically be another election as soon as you're like,

[00:09:28] okay, the last guy's fired for murdering people and raping women?

[00:09:32] Yeah.

[00:09:33] They should have a special election.

[00:09:34] It should just be, yeah.

[00:09:35] It's like fucking-

[00:09:36] Dude, he raped a bunch of, he raped Dominic Shrouse Conrape to more people.

[00:09:40] This like facelift freak.

[00:09:42] She really has-

[00:09:43] You got awful effect.

[00:09:44] You got awful effect.

[00:09:45] Yeah.

[00:09:46] I feel like her face is held together with fucking magic.

[00:09:49] No chill, ho chill.

[00:09:50] Yeah.

[00:09:51] She, she ain't got no chill.

[00:09:53] Yeah.

[00:09:54] I'm not familiar with it, but I think that's good to say.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:57] Now she gets on the TV and she's like, we have the situation under control.

[00:10:02] Yeah.

[00:10:03] What has she done?

[00:10:04] The fuck is Kathy up to?

[00:10:06] Literally not.

[00:10:07] The last thing I saw from her is like, you know, cause they're like, you know, the case

[00:10:11] numbers are going up.

[00:10:12] And then they're like, but the hospital numbers aren't.

[00:10:15] It's like, well, let's give it a week.

[00:10:17] Yeah.

[00:10:18] And then those are going up.

[00:10:19] They're like, well, it's time to start determining.

[00:10:21] I know now it's time to fucking-

[00:10:22] Yeah.

[00:10:23] If the people are in the hospital for or with Corona, and it's like, yeah, I'm sure you're

[00:10:27] right.

[00:10:28] I'm sure it's the dramatic fucking like 900% increase in the last week is all because

[00:10:33] people are fucking cutting themselves slicing bagels.

[00:10:37] Yeah.

[00:10:38] And they happen to test positive at the hospital.

[00:10:41] That makes sense.

[00:10:42] Yeah.

[00:10:43] It's people that are getting some medicine for Christmas.

[00:10:45] That's why every nurse I took, you ever talked to, was like, I'm going to kill myself.

[00:10:49] I don't really have time to get to those conversations because, you know, I'm dressed up like Buzz

[00:10:53] Bonnie and they're showing things in my ass.

[00:10:55] Yeah.

[00:10:56] They had to sign the hospital?

[00:10:57] Well, any nurse-

[00:10:58] Well, any nurse I talk to?

[00:11:01] And they leave and I'm covered in my own blood in common.

[00:11:03] I'm like, damn, I should have asked them to my own caritis.

[00:11:06] Yeah.

[00:11:07] I should have asked them if they've been seeing more juvenile myocarditis cases.

[00:11:16] Are you sure that was a nurse and not a man you hired to wear nurses out there?

[00:11:20] There are male nurses.

[00:11:21] It was a nurse joker.

[00:11:24] Yeah.

[00:11:25] Male nurses are nurses to the same extent that when I put the costume on, I'm actually

[00:11:31] bugs.

[00:11:33] It's just a sexual thing.

[00:11:34] Right.

[00:11:35] They always get really jacked.

[00:11:37] I feel like because they're like upset about having the girl doctor job.

[00:11:41] I don't think it's plenty of fat gay ones too.

[00:11:44] Yeah.

[00:11:45] They're like, they're like, we're going to die.

[00:11:48] They get jacked because they're watching people die all day long and then they have

[00:11:52] to like, you know, they have to understand mortality in the human body.

[00:11:56] Americans sniped.

[00:11:57] I love that.

[00:11:58] Yeah.

[00:11:59] Yeah.

[00:12:00] After his friend dies, he has to go live.

[00:12:03] Yeah.

[00:12:04] Oh, man.

[00:12:06] I saw that.

[00:12:07] I only saw that in a German airport.

[00:12:10] Really?

[00:12:11] Or not German.

[00:12:12] Japanese.

[00:12:13] Where the fuck was that?

[00:12:14] When were you in Germany or Japan?

[00:12:17] It was one of the World War II countries or one of the Axis.

[00:12:21] No, no, hold on.

[00:12:22] Where the fuck was that?

[00:12:23] Oh, you know, no.

[00:12:24] I was on a military base in Japan.

[00:12:26] That's where I saw him.

[00:12:28] You watched it with the operators?

[00:12:29] I did actually.

[00:12:30] Yeah.

[00:12:31] I watched it.

[00:12:32] I watched it with the bunch of young guys.

[00:12:33] It's just wanted whenever you see videos of do be like it.

[00:12:35] You see like videos of the movie night in Iraq or whatever, it's veterans watching something

[00:12:40] and it's like 900 guys in folding chairs and a 13 inch television.

[00:12:44] Yeah, yeah.

[00:12:45] It was a horrible setup.

[00:12:46] It was like a prison.

[00:12:47] Yeah.

[00:12:48] At the end of a hanger.

[00:12:49] And they're like, whoella?

[00:12:51] Whoella?

[00:12:52] Yeah.

[00:12:53] It felt like it felt like an airport.

[00:12:57] The reason my head, I thought it was airport was because literally we were watching it on

[00:13:00] like four little TVs.

[00:13:02] So you know how like an airport, they're all showing the same thing and you just look

[00:13:05] around.

[00:13:06] That's what it was like.

[00:13:07] They just put the movie on the house PA and they just had like four or five people.

[00:13:10] They had little s TVs and you just kind of take the place to watch.

[00:13:15] It was that and it was one of the born movies, but I only I think it was the Jeremy Renner

[00:13:19] born movie.

[00:13:20] Oh, boo.

[00:13:21] Wait, when did that come out between born three and four?

[00:13:24] What year?

[00:13:25] Well, there was born identity, born supremacy, born Jidenta.

[00:13:29] Or Jidenta, or Jidentity.

[00:13:30] Yeah, born Jidentity.

[00:13:31] He's like, he's like, I can run a mile in this weather without taking a breath.

[00:13:37] And also I'm a classic man.

[00:13:39] I'm classic.

[00:13:40] Dude, where the fuck is Jidenta?

[00:13:42] He got one hit.

[00:13:44] He deserved to say it right back to Burgdorff.

[00:13:47] It's so rare.

[00:13:49] He's spraying colognes on people.

[00:13:51] He's in midtown selling fucking hard and sweet.

[00:13:58] Or he's nation of Islam.

[00:13:59] It could go either way.

[00:14:01] With that, with that look, I'm a bathroom man.

[00:14:05] You can be me when you pull up on me.

[00:14:07] I'm a bathroom man.

[00:14:11] Let's see here.

[00:14:12] Apparently, that song Yoga with Janelle Monet.

[00:14:16] He had a second song?

[00:14:17] He had a second one.

[00:14:18] Yoga?

[00:14:19] Yeah, yeah.

[00:14:20] What's that about like twisting or growing up pretzel?

[00:14:23] Basically, he's just fucking some bitch folding her up.

[00:14:26] I thought Janelle Monet is a lesbian.

[00:14:28] I think she's on that like...

[00:14:29] I think Jidenta's a lesbian.

[00:14:30] You know how hot girl fucking everything.

[00:14:32] He has a lesbian look.

[00:14:34] Jidenta and Bruno Mars are in a relationship.

[00:14:37] They say they're...

[00:14:39] Yeah, that would be hot, dude.

[00:14:41] Whoopee's got coronavirus now?

[00:14:42] That's you.

[00:14:43] Yeah.

[00:14:44] Fuck you.

[00:14:45] That's the first sad news that we've heard in a long time.

[00:14:48] Yeah.

[00:14:49] I wonder how she's gonna beat it.

[00:14:51] She's strong.

[00:14:52] Whoopee's gonna beat it, man.

[00:14:54] I started ghost a couple weeks ago when I had COVID.

[00:14:58] It's a really bad mood.

[00:15:00] It's really weird.

[00:15:01] It's weird.

[00:15:02] Like the guy who kills him.

[00:15:03] His energy is all psychosexual and shit like...

[00:15:06] Oh yeah, the bad guy.

[00:15:08] The bad guy is fucking...

[00:15:09] That guy is fucked up.

[00:15:11] He's fucked up weird.

[00:15:12] Yeah, which is cool.

[00:15:13] That is good.

[00:15:14] What's the bot?

[00:15:15] Is it Sam discovers some like...

[00:15:18] Sam's a girl's name, I can't remember, but he discovers some financial crime.

[00:15:22] The other guy at work is stealing.

[00:15:24] Yeah.

[00:15:25] Oh, he hires a guy to kill him?

[00:15:26] No, he hires him to steal his wallet because he knows he has the codes for the money or

[00:15:32] something in his wallet.

[00:15:33] Yeah, his code code was...

[00:15:34] The guy who hires is so twisted that he murders...

[00:15:37] His co-workers in bezeling and he discovers it and so he hires that Puerto Rican guy to

[00:15:42] kill Sam.

[00:15:43] Oh, okay, okay, okay.

[00:15:45] And then he dies and then Whoopee Goldberg, who's a Brooklyn medium.

[00:15:52] She's kind of like a...

[00:15:53] Miss Cleo.

[00:15:54] Miss Cleo, exactly.

[00:15:56] She actually is a medium.

[00:15:57] She thinks that she's a liar, but then she realizes she actually does have the gift.

[00:16:02] Wow.

[00:16:03] No, she doesn't have the gift.

[00:16:04] Patrick's way she just finds her.

[00:16:05] No, he's not invisible to anyone, but Whoopee Goldberg.

[00:16:07] And then also too, what he does...

[00:16:08] So why can't she see other than...

[00:16:10] What Sam does...

[00:16:11] I don't know, it doesn't make sense.

[00:16:12] Is after he's dead and I'm probably 100% wrong, but my recollection is that he uses

[00:16:18] her to then just steal the money from that guy.

[00:16:21] And it's like...

[00:16:22] I didn't finish it.

[00:16:23] Well, if he's just gonna steal the fucking money anyways...

[00:16:25] Well, I think, what if he just had to change hers?

[00:16:27] I look, I'm dead.

[00:16:29] I want my bitch to have nice things, at least.

[00:16:31] And he gave the money to Otame.

[00:16:33] Who's Otame?

[00:16:34] Otame is a Japanese kid.

[00:16:36] Yeah, it's a fat little Japanese guy named Otame.

[00:16:39] Yeah, Boopee Goldberg plays an I-P-O-Dame.

[00:16:41] Yeah.

[00:16:42] Oh, Dr. Jones!

[00:16:43] Dr. Jones!

[00:16:44] Yeah.

[00:16:45] Listen, data.

[00:16:46] I can't take you with me.

[00:16:49] Dr. Jones!

[00:16:50] I'm sorry, data.

[00:16:51] I love you, but it's time for me to go to Texas Heaven.

[00:17:01] And there's Whoopee Goldberg, fuck.

[00:17:05] There's sexual tension.

[00:17:06] They kiss at one point.

[00:17:07] Yeah.

[00:17:08] If you're gonna kiss, you might as well eat each other's pussies.

[00:17:10] She's like, I can't do this.

[00:17:12] I feel like Giadenna.

[00:17:13] I know my Giadenna shit.

[00:17:18] If Patrick's lazy in her body, why doesn't he just eat her pussy as Whoopee Goldberg?

[00:17:24] It's a good question.

[00:17:25] He's not in her body.

[00:17:26] He's kind of a rat.

[00:17:27] He is in her body in that city.

[00:17:29] And then he's in that city.

[00:17:30] Yeah, he's not just, no.

[00:17:31] He's not just like, let me watch.

[00:17:34] You know, be hot.

[00:17:36] If two hot chicks like you, Whoopee Goldberg, if I...

[00:17:41] Two equally hot chicks to me more in the 80s than Whoopee Goldberg.

[00:17:46] I knew this girl when I was in DC who did not look good.

[00:17:50] Yeah.

[00:17:51] And my friend, my friend, I saw him the next day after night out and he was like, yeah,

[00:17:56] I had a fucking threesome.

[00:17:57] And it was with his girlfriend of that chick.

[00:18:00] And I was like, you can't just count it just because it's two chicks.

[00:18:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:18:04] And it was clear that he really, that was what went into the calculus course.

[00:18:08] You know what, if you've never had a threesome before, man, just get on the board.

[00:18:10] He just wanted one on the board.

[00:18:12] He wanted to get on the board.

[00:18:13] Yeah, I guess so.

[00:18:14] Yeah.

[00:18:15] Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[00:18:16] It was not worth it, honestly.

[00:18:18] Yeah.

[00:18:19] And you never know, maybe, maybe this bitch is busted, but maybe she sucks a dick like

[00:18:23] you wouldn't believe.

[00:18:24] I'm not going to venture, I guess.

[00:18:27] Why didn't you ask him?

[00:18:28] I didn't want to know any more details.

[00:18:31] You know what, you need, you can't let things get in the way of your natural curiosity.

[00:18:35] I know.

[00:18:36] That's when we stop being, that's when we stop being children, start being adults.

[00:18:41] I know.

[00:18:42] I hadn't matured yet.

[00:18:43] I was a little bit of a late bloomer.

[00:18:44] Well, you were pretending you were mature by stifling your child's image.

[00:18:48] But it was immature.

[00:18:49] Yeah, that's true.

[00:18:50] The cat threw up all over the vacuum, cleaned her this morning and I was pissed off and

[00:18:54] then she cleaned it up.

[00:18:55] She cleaned it up by eating it.

[00:18:56] It's a dice and why you do that?

[00:18:58] That's the only way that she throws up all over my phone.

[00:19:04] Good job.

[00:19:06] Good job for creating a problem and fixing it.

[00:19:08] That's the style in this household.

[00:19:11] And then feeling accomplished, even though you're basically right at square one.

[00:19:15] Yeah.

[00:19:16] And even probably a little worse.

[00:19:17] The square one mentality.

[00:19:20] But anyway, to return back to this idea of Patrick Swayze eating, and you know what,

[00:19:25] Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg finger yourself, find out what that feels like.

[00:19:30] I'm curious.

[00:19:32] Do kind of like find a place.

[00:19:34] Great seeing that movie would be just play with your quit.

[00:19:37] See what that feels like.

[00:19:38] Demi Moore's job.

[00:19:39] I don't like this.

[00:19:41] Straddling Whoopi Goldberg and rubbing oil all over her stomach.

[00:19:44] Yeah, yeah.

[00:19:45] Yeah.

[00:19:46] Like the clay thing.

[00:19:47] Yeah.

[00:19:48] She's like, what am I a pot?

[00:19:50] I'm going to be a pot or a vase.

[00:19:54] Yeah.

[00:19:55] I feel like as long as you wash your face.

[00:19:57] So Whoopi doesn't have to smell pussy on her lips.

[00:20:01] It's fair.

[00:20:02] Fair is fair.

[00:20:04] You got killed by a Puerto Rican, some fucking weird Puerto Rican guy.

[00:20:06] You got killed by Louis J. Gomez.

[00:20:08] Yeah.

[00:20:09] Yeah.

[00:20:10] But Louis's father.

[00:20:11] That's right.

[00:20:12] That character is best based on Louis's father.

[00:20:13] Louis is like, I recently acquired a very new exciting business opportunity.

[00:20:18] Whatever I think of Louis's dad, I just think of the other guys in the gang and King of

[00:20:23] New York.

[00:20:24] I think of Giancarlo Esposito's.

[00:20:27] No, I actually think the guy from Ghost is probably way closer.

[00:20:31] You think so?

[00:20:32] That's kind of a similar aesthetic.

[00:20:34] I'll take a little another dirty curl.

[00:20:37] The J actually stands for jail.

[00:20:39] Right.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41] It was jail Gomez.

[00:20:42] It's kind of like a...

[00:20:46] How do Patrick Swage, how did the guy kill him?

[00:20:47] He stabbed him, right?

[00:20:48] Yeah.

[00:20:49] He pushed him on a train track.

[00:20:50] No, maybe he shoots him.

[00:20:52] No, no, he was just dad stabs somebody.

[00:20:55] It's like, yeah, they're walking at night in Soho or Tribeca when it was bad.

[00:20:58] Right.

[00:20:59] Before it was nice.

[00:21:00] Yeah.

[00:21:01] Yeah.

[00:21:02] And it's like...

[00:21:03] And it's like a movie where the set when that shit is bad, which is more in Midtown.

[00:21:05] I watched Ghost Bossers.

[00:21:06] No, I watched Bringing Out the Dead.

[00:21:08] Yeah.

[00:21:09] Yeah.

[00:21:10] Of course it is.

[00:21:11] That movie's awesome.

[00:21:12] That movie fucking rules it.

[00:21:13] Well, it's like Hell's Kitchen.

[00:21:14] Hell's Kitchen.

[00:21:15] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[00:21:16] It is so fucking good.

[00:21:18] Yeah.

[00:21:19] And just...

[00:21:20] Mark Anthony's character is...

[00:21:21] He's sick.

[00:21:22] I used to love that.

[00:21:23] John Goodman, it just lets them fucking go off.

[00:21:27] I used to love that movie when I was a kid.

[00:21:29] And then I watched it again, like when I was like 21.

[00:21:31] And it didn't hold up, but I'm due for a rewatch.

[00:21:34] No, it's good.

[00:21:35] As someone who just went into it fresh literally a couple of days ago, it's just...

[00:21:39] I rewatched the aviator recently.

[00:21:41] I watched that too recently.

[00:21:42] That's good as fuck.

[00:21:43] It's nice to watch a movie like Bring Out the Dead and remember what New York was like

[00:21:47] when we moved here in 2014.

[00:21:49] But yeah, it's just like to be able to just see Goodman and then Ving Rames is incredible

[00:21:59] in that fucking movie.

[00:22:00] He's got this awesome...

[00:22:01] If that's his real hair, I think it's a wig, but he looks great.

[00:22:04] A lot of funny wigs.

[00:22:06] Mark Anthony's got to have a wig on, I think.

[00:22:09] That's a fucking dreadlocks.

[00:22:11] And then Tom Sizemore, sick in it too.

[00:22:14] It's a weird fuck.

[00:22:15] It's like good friend Tom Sizemore.

[00:22:17] Yeah, you're buddy Tom.

[00:22:18] How's he doing these days, Nick?

[00:22:20] Well, I haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks.

[00:22:22] What does he think about the vaccine?

[00:22:24] He's not a bit awesome if you've just been...

[00:22:27] He's just been FaceTiming Tom's eyes wherever he likes three weeks.

[00:22:31] How's it going?

[00:22:33] Hey, Tom.

[00:22:34] Hey, Tommy.

[00:22:35] I'm on an iPad.

[00:22:38] Yeah, he hasn't been anything in a while, right?

[00:22:45] Yeah, I think he's...

[00:22:46] Well, yeah, he's one of those guys that just has to make a bunch of low-budget movies,

[00:22:52] probably to pay off tax debt and stuff.

[00:22:54] Right.

[00:22:55] He was in every...

[00:22:56] I mean, people in the story.

[00:22:57] Yeah.

[00:22:58] Yeah, that you sucked his dick.

[00:23:00] Nah.

[00:23:01] Nah, that's a story.

[00:23:02] Oh, sorry.

[00:23:03] We got this nuts and nuts and nuts on the phone.

[00:23:06] Fuck, dude.

[00:23:07] All right.

[00:23:08] I'm sorry.

[00:23:09] Let's just timestamp 2308.

[00:23:10] Get that down.

[00:23:11] We'll just fucking make that right about the way.

[00:23:12] Beep.

[00:23:13] Then we'll beef it out.

[00:23:14] We'll take out the story about you second, Tom Sizemore.

[00:23:15] On the set of Heat 2...

[00:23:18] It's time to look at the K-pop Reddit.

[00:23:22] I'm so nice.

[00:23:25] Yes, it is.

[00:23:28] I love when we fucking do this and we record shit way out of order.

[00:23:32] So do they.

[00:23:33] So do the Royal Day.

[00:23:36] Oh, fuck, dude.

[00:23:38] What the hell else has been going on?

[00:23:40] What the fuck did I do?

[00:23:42] Oh, you know what else I watch?

[00:23:43] This is as good as hell?

[00:23:44] MacGruber.

[00:23:45] Yeah, it's the best.

[00:23:46] No, the TV show.

[00:23:47] Oh, it's the TV show.

[00:23:48] I made eight episodes.

[00:23:49] It's good as fuck.

[00:23:50] Oh, it's the best movie.

[00:23:52] It's really good.

[00:23:53] Ryan Philipy, huh?

[00:23:55] He's fucking Ryan Philip, my ass.

[00:23:57] Philip me.

[00:23:58] He's in the show, too.

[00:24:00] Yeah.

[00:24:01] Oh, damn.

[00:24:02] They brought the whole crew back and Lawrence Fishburners.

[00:24:04] Well, it's sad that what's his name, lost his ability to speak?

[00:24:08] Who?

[00:24:09] Val.

[00:24:10] Val, Tom, I'm gonna narrow.

[00:24:13] So he's fucked.

[00:24:14] He's got a four-talk.

[00:24:15] He's got a four-talk.

[00:24:16] He's got a four-talk.

[00:24:17] I watched the documentary about it.

[00:24:18] Val, Phil, Marasso.

[00:24:19] Phil, Marasso.

[00:24:20] Yeah.

[00:24:21] Val, Phil, Marasso.

[00:24:22] Yeah.

[00:24:23] So he's done.

[00:24:24] They can't ever give him a really sad.

[00:24:26] He never got that role that one I could like Oscar winning.

[00:24:30] He did.

[00:24:31] In the saint.

[00:24:32] Yeah.

[00:24:33] Yeah, Batman.

[00:24:34] Yeah, the saint.

[00:24:35] He was good at Batman.

[00:24:37] Apparently it was hell for him because he couldn't turn his neck.

[00:24:40] In the suit?

[00:24:41] In the suit.

[00:24:42] He said he couldn't really act when he was wearing the suit.

[00:24:45] Well, no one can act in the suit.

[00:24:46] Well, I think they improved it a little bit.

[00:24:49] Yeah, it is funny how much Trichy bail is a low point and all of those Batman movies.

[00:24:56] Yeah.

[00:24:57] Except maybe Batman begins.

[00:24:58] I don't know.

[00:24:59] But you know what, Batman begins with so much?

[00:25:01] Well, he's so up-staged in the Dark Knight.

[00:25:04] Yeah, that's true.

[00:25:05] And then what's the last one?

[00:25:07] Bane.

[00:25:08] It's all about the Benjamin's.

[00:25:09] Yeah.

[00:25:10] It's all about the Bane.

[00:25:11] Oh, I'm black.

[00:25:12] I don't remember what's all about the Benjamin's, but I remember it was a black movie.

[00:25:17] Right.

[00:25:18] Who was that?

[00:25:19] Martin Lawrence.

[00:25:20] Martin Lawrence.

[00:25:21] Should we put that on?

[00:25:22] It's all about the Benjamin's baby.

[00:25:24] I'm a fedderali.

[00:25:28] I want to go back and watch the one with Mr. Friesen.

[00:25:31] Poison Ivy.

[00:25:32] I think it's bad.

[00:25:33] I know it's bad, but it looks kind of sick.

[00:25:35] It's not hard at all though.

[00:25:36] But just like visually and didn't that gay guy who said he fucked up a million gay guys?

[00:25:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he directed it.

[00:25:42] I don't know if he made that one or the other one.

[00:25:44] He did.

[00:25:45] Joel Schumacher made one of the bad boys.

[00:25:47] Bad man.

[00:25:48] Oh, yeah.

[00:25:49] Yeah, he said he fucked 20,000.

[00:25:52] Yeah.

[00:25:53] He was like, I've put up Adam Friedland numbers.

[00:25:56] Yeah.

[00:25:57] That's what he said.

[00:25:58] About guys.

[00:25:59] About guys.

[00:26:00] But it feels good to be.

[00:26:01] Just to clarify.

[00:26:02] It feels good to be in the conversation.

[00:26:03] AP Fact Jack.

[00:26:04] Adam Friedland did not have sex with 20,000.

[00:26:07] Yeah.

[00:26:08] No, no.

[00:26:09] Zero, zero, or a hundred Pinotios.

[00:26:11] That's a pants on fire.

[00:26:13] That's a pants on fire.

[00:26:14] Adam had sex with a lot of women.

[00:26:17] That's a hundred percent pants on fire.

[00:26:18] Oh, the guy part is the pants on fire.

[00:26:20] It is funny what Snopes became.

[00:26:22] I know.

[00:26:23] It's like it used to be like, did a guy fucking accidentally die trying to come by hooking

[00:26:28] himself up to a core battery?

[00:26:30] Yeah.

[00:26:31] Yes.

[00:26:32] And now it's like, the CIA has never done anything bad.

[00:26:33] Yeah.

[00:26:34] Yeah.

[00:26:35] 100 percent true.

[00:26:39] There were not weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

[00:26:42] That's mixed.

[00:26:43] Yeah.

[00:26:44] That's what we call a mixed race fact.

[00:26:48] That's somewhat true.

[00:26:50] Fucking loose.

[00:26:52] Snapple mixed race facts.

[00:26:53] Okay.

[00:26:54] What are some of those?

[00:26:56] You want to?

[00:26:57] George Sparks deserved to win American Idol.

[00:27:00] Let me do it.

[00:27:01] Sorry.

[00:27:02] Sorry.

[00:27:03] Snapple mixed race facts.

[00:27:05] You took what we said with mixed race.

[00:27:09] You added the word Snapple.

[00:27:11] Go ahead, man.

[00:27:14] What's a nice mixed race fact.

[00:27:16] You got it.

[00:27:17] You got a fresh, crisp snapple with your hand.

[00:27:19] You crack it up.

[00:27:21] It's your favorite flavor.

[00:27:22] You can't wait to get a go.

[00:27:23] The hottest day is summer.

[00:27:24] You got a peach snapple in your hands.

[00:27:28] You're ready to rest.

[00:27:30] You open a diet peach tea.

[00:27:35] What does it say?

[00:27:36] It died.

[00:27:37] In the fantasy, you still having a diet.

[00:27:39] Come on, man.

[00:27:40] Live a little.

[00:27:41] You fucking waif.

[00:27:42] Come on.

[00:27:43] I'm just going to watch my figure.

[00:27:44] You don't want to gain weight even in a hypothetical.

[00:27:50] I don't drink diet fish snapple.

[00:27:53] I just hear it's good.

[00:27:54] It is good.

[00:27:55] You open it up and it says that the snowstorm.

[00:27:58] Snapple track check it is good.

[00:27:59] Before becoming a famous hip hop star, Aubrey Drake Graham was on the Canadian show called

[00:28:06] the Cross.

[00:28:07] There you go.

[00:28:08] Probably one of the most accessible ones.

[00:28:10] You didn't really dig very deep for that, but you did fulfill it.

[00:28:12] I was trying not to offend.

[00:28:14] That's what makes it fun.

[00:28:16] It's a minefield.

[00:28:19] You could have dug a little deeper, but it's all right.

[00:28:22] Snapple mixed race facts.

[00:28:25] Tiger Woods recently arrested for his eighth.

[00:28:29] That's better.

[00:28:30] The police report said damn what even is he?

[00:28:36] Yeah.

[00:28:37] Okay.

[00:28:38] Nice.

[00:28:39] What race is this?

[00:28:40] What race is that?

[00:28:41] Tiger Woods killing in front of a thousand non-indulants.

[00:28:47] What race even is?

[00:28:49] Well, yeah.

[00:28:50] His dad gets his fried chicken at 7-11 and his mom gets her reg rolls.

[00:28:57] She gets her full.

[00:29:00] She's Vietnam.

[00:29:01] I wonder what he's got to his Chinese.

[00:29:02] He's had to have been in hard lockdown this entire time.

[00:29:05] Tiger?

[00:29:06] Tiger's playing golf.

[00:29:07] Nine in.

[00:29:08] Oh, nine in.

[00:29:09] He's in the hyperbaked chamber.

[00:29:11] He's got a huge head to be one of the guys.

[00:29:13] He's in the Professor X.

[00:29:15] Nine mass.

[00:29:16] Oh, yeah.

[00:29:17] But pretending he's not.

[00:29:19] He's shooting a video in a green screen.

[00:29:20] He's like a young healthy guy like me can be out.

[00:29:25] What is it?

[00:29:26] I mean, things are like it's done, right?

[00:29:28] The Omicron.

[00:29:29] Yeah, they're never shutting down again.

[00:29:31] Yeah, well, Canada, other countries are going nuts.

[00:29:33] We're not going to do it.

[00:29:35] Yeah.

[00:29:36] I think that's kind of good.

[00:29:37] That's good news.

[00:29:38] I think Omicron, in general, was all good news.

[00:29:42] It wasn't that dangerous.

[00:29:43] I'm sorry.

[00:29:44] Her name was Coltilda.

[00:29:46] Excuse me.

[00:29:47] Her name was Coltilda.

[00:29:48] Tiger Woods' mother.

[00:29:50] And what was she?

[00:29:51] She was a horse.

[00:29:53] She was an Arabian.

[00:29:55] Coltilda Punso-Wad.

[00:29:56] Isn't that Indonesian?

[00:29:57] Indonesia.

[00:29:58] Indonesia.

[00:29:59] Indonesia.

[00:30:00] She was like a the raid kind of bitch.

[00:30:02] Oh, that's cool.

[00:30:03] She was like an unbox type bitch.

[00:30:05] Let's finish the Dan Nine and joke.

[00:30:07] Yeah.

[00:30:08] What does his mom get from 7-11?

[00:30:10] What's an Indonesian food?

[00:30:11] She gets a...

[00:30:13] What is Indonesian food?

[00:30:14] No, lumpy is...

[00:30:15] lumpy is Filipino.

[00:30:16] Indonesia is a fun...

[00:30:19] Is that a country, right?

[00:30:20] I think so.

[00:30:21] Yeah, it's a Muslim.

[00:30:22] But it's all just like a billion islands.

[00:30:24] I think it's two islands.

[00:30:25] It's one big island.

[00:30:26] I think it's two.

[00:30:27] What's the one where it's...

[00:30:28] Is it Malaysia where it's like fucking like 30 different islands?

[00:30:32] It's like, bro, that's not a country.

[00:30:34] Well, Japan is like...

[00:30:35] Japan's four islands.

[00:30:36] But yeah, Greece is a different island.

[00:30:38] It's...

[00:30:39] Yeah, it's getting there where it's like this is...

[00:30:40] Greece has like a hundred islands.

[00:30:42] You guys gotta get your shit together.

[00:30:44] Are one of the islands trying to break free?

[00:30:46] To the average?

[00:30:47] Yeah, to the average?

[00:30:48] Yeah, to the average.

[00:30:49] No, but those cock-sucking Germans...

[00:30:50] Independents...

[00:30:51] That fucking...

[00:30:52] That bitch, what's your name?

[00:30:53] Merkel.

[00:30:54] Merkel.

[00:30:55] She's trying to buy some.

[00:30:56] He's cock-suckers.

[00:30:57] We're like, hey, you guys owe so much money.

[00:30:58] Why don't you give up some islands?

[00:30:59] Can you believe these fucking...

[00:31:00] Yeah, give up, but to do what?

[00:31:02] Bring the Germany.

[00:31:03] Because it's debt.

[00:31:04] Because it's debt.

[00:31:05] Yeah, I know, but what are they gonna do with the fucking island?

[00:31:06] I know what else.

[00:31:07] Those fat cock-suckers, those fucking pieces of shit Germans wanted to...

[00:31:10] Wanted it for themselves.

[00:31:11] And then you know what else Merkel said.

[00:31:12] She said, lara...

[00:31:14] She did...

[00:31:15] Did I do that?

[00:31:17] Nice, man.

[00:31:18] Did I do that?

[00:31:19] Just the island do that.

[00:31:21] Yeah.

[00:31:22] I'm a fan of Hitler's famous last words.

[00:31:24] Did I do that?

[00:31:25] I do that.

[00:31:26] Did I do that?

[00:31:27] Okay, it looks like a lot of...

[00:31:29] How do you get a lot of bitch's name or Merkel to take your shit like that?

[00:31:32] We never did, by the way.

[00:31:34] We were like, suck our dick.

[00:31:35] Suck my dick.

[00:31:36] But they did fuck our asses.

[00:31:37] Suck my dick, Jolyo White.

[00:31:38] But they did fuck our asses, I won't say.

[00:31:40] I will say with the debt...

[00:31:42] That's a sterity.

[00:31:43] It's all bullshit.

[00:31:45] It looks like they fry and grill a lot of shit.

[00:31:49] I mean, none of this seems like that.

[00:31:51] Crazy to me.

[00:31:52] Soto Betawi, Jakarta Soup.

[00:31:55] It sounds like it's probably the next fad cuisine, right?

[00:31:59] Could be.

[00:32:00] We could start an Indonesian restaurant.

[00:32:02] Boxo, Indonesian meat bowls.

[00:32:04] That sounds good.

[00:32:05] Yeah, Indonesia to suck my dick.

[00:32:07] Indonesia.

[00:32:08] I forgot how to put on account.

[00:32:09] Those like Southeast Asian cuisines.

[00:32:11] I had a lot of...

[00:32:12] I had a lot of...

[00:32:13] I do that with everything now.

[00:32:14] Yeah.

[00:32:15] With the Omocron thing came out, I was like, yeah, I'm a cron you to suck my dick.

[00:32:18] Omocron you to suck my dick.

[00:32:19] This is a way of keeping a stay alive, you know?

[00:32:24] Nashi Uduk coconut rice.

[00:32:26] Oh, I guess it is one kind of...

[00:32:29] They probably have curries too.

[00:32:30] Because Southeast Asia always has like Indian and Asian.

[00:32:34] Yeah, it's a nice dish.

[00:32:35] It's a nice dish.

[00:32:36] Which is a perfect kind of...

[00:32:37] At least 13 killed in a fire in Philadelphia.

[00:32:40] Oh, really?

[00:32:42] PFD.

[00:32:43] She says...

[00:32:44] Oh, it's Philadelphia fire department.

[00:32:48] Oh, you forget it starts with a P.

[00:32:51] Yeah.

[00:32:52] When it's an acronym.

[00:32:53] Oh, yeah, true.

[00:32:54] When it's an acronym, that's confusing.

[00:32:55] Yeah, they got something called Goulai Otok, which is...

[00:32:59] They say brain curry.

[00:33:00] Oh, that's a mess.

[00:33:01] Which is...

[00:33:02] I love getting brain.

[00:33:03] I'm gonna need you to brain, Mike Curry.

[00:33:06] I love brain.

[00:33:07] Maybe I'm thinking of Papa New Guinea.

[00:33:10] That sounds right.

[00:33:11] Yeah, that sounds better.

[00:33:12] Papa New Johns.

[00:33:13] Papa New Johns-y.

[00:33:15] Better ingredients, more islands.

[00:33:17] So there's a place called Java, apparently, on 7th Avenue that does Indonesian food.

[00:33:24] And a place called the Wayan on Spring Street.

[00:33:27] Yeah.

[00:33:28] Well, you know, New York's got it all.

[00:33:31] I'm sure there's like a three block.

[00:33:33] Yeah, literally in Queens.

[00:33:35] Yeah.

[00:33:36] Yeah, it's probably like right next to me.

[00:33:38] That's the coolest thing about Queens.

[00:33:39] I love it, dude.

[00:33:40] I'm never leaving.

[00:33:41] I'm just excited.

[00:33:42] You just walked out of a block here and fucking...

[00:33:44] I'm hard.

[00:33:46] I'm never leaving.

[00:33:47] I'm gonna buy a fucking house and I'm gonna fucking spray down the driveway with my hose.

[00:33:52] And some pants that are a little too big for me, but very comfortable.

[00:33:55] Oh, I thought you were gonna say when a dad goes to clean the Corvette and cut off a

[00:34:02] little too short cut off.

[00:34:03] No, I'm cleaning my sidewalk.

[00:34:05] I'm not cleaning my car.

[00:34:08] Different kind of guy.

[00:34:09] Different kind of guy.

[00:34:10] That's a suburban kind of dad.

[00:34:12] That ain't me, bro.

[00:34:13] I'm urban.

[00:34:14] I'm in the city.

[00:34:15] Near urban.

[00:34:16] I'm in the story of Queens.

[00:34:17] I'm wiping down my fucking house.

[00:34:18] I do kind of want to buy a house and like mask it through something.

[00:34:20] I have a little driveway.

[00:34:22] Maspeth is a little too...

[00:34:24] Maspeth is the perfect amount of time to mask it.

[00:34:27] It's a little industrial.

[00:34:28] No, you're thinking of Bushwick.

[00:34:29] No.

[00:34:30] Once you get into Maspeth this nice, it's like a little town.

[00:34:33] I agree with you.

[00:34:34] It's nice in like Sunnyside.

[00:34:35] Sunnyside maybe.

[00:34:36] Yeah, Woodside is nice.

[00:34:37] Yeah, Woodside's basically a story.

[00:34:38] Bowl is a neighborhood to call itself Sunnyside.

[00:34:39] What do you mean?

[00:34:40] Well, as if the sun doesn't...

[00:34:41] Only goes there.

[00:34:42] Yeah.

[00:34:43] Yeah.

[00:34:44] That's true.

[00:34:46] Yeah.

[00:34:47] And for that hubris, I actually eliminate it from where I might live.

[00:34:51] Yeah.

[00:34:52] And I further hate it because of the TV show.

[00:34:55] What TV show?

[00:34:56] Wasn't there a TV show called Sunnyside?

[00:34:57] Oh yeah.

[00:34:58] There was like a one season book comedy show.

[00:35:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:35:04] It was like we're Chinese, but we're also Wiggers.

[00:35:06] And we're here in Sunnyside, Queens.

[00:35:08] Well, that's interesting.

[00:35:09] I don't think that was the show because I would have watched that show.

[00:35:12] That show is called Flershick.

[00:35:14] Yeah.

[00:35:15] That's Aquafina show.

[00:35:18] Yeah.

[00:35:19] Yeah, my mom's makes dirt blips.

[00:35:20] Yeah, what the fuck is it?

[00:35:21] Every neighborhood in Queens has their own TV show now.

[00:35:24] Not a story.

[00:35:25] And I'm going to do it.

[00:35:26] Dibs.

[00:35:27] You should do the Astoria show.

[00:35:28] I'm going to show you a Maspid show.

[00:35:29] What do you call it?

[00:35:30] All in the family was in Astoria.

[00:35:32] Was it?

[00:35:33] I think so.

[00:35:34] Oh dude, reboot time.

[00:35:35] It's time of Fat Man said the N word on television again.

[00:35:38] Dude, you can play Archie.

[00:35:39] You can play Archie for real.

[00:35:41] I actually really could.

[00:35:42] That'd be good.

[00:35:43] I want to play R word bunk.

[00:35:44] R word bunk.

[00:35:45] Yeah.

[00:35:46] Dude, too many blacks.

[00:35:48] Why would you eat watermelon if you could have watermelon candy?

[00:35:55] That doesn't make any goddamn sense.

[00:35:58] Oh Archie, leave him alone.

[00:36:01] You've got a regular waffy.

[00:36:03] I did that.

[00:36:04] Because she's got a big retarded hog.

[00:36:07] Eat it.

[00:36:08] Eat it.

[00:36:09] Stifle yourself.

[00:36:10] Stifle yourself.

[00:36:11] Stifle yourself.

[00:36:12] Well, well, well, but it's in college boy.

[00:36:20] All that fancy word you do in college, you don't even know how to fucking put a top on

[00:36:26] a sippy cup.

[00:36:27] Neither do you R word.

[00:36:30] That's not the point me, Dad.

[00:36:35] It's about loyalty and integrity.

[00:36:39] Now somebody help me lick this envelope by mailing SpaghettiOs to Nixon.

[00:36:48] And the Jefferson started off that, right?

[00:36:50] Yeah, it was a spin off.

[00:36:51] They moved from Queens to the city.

[00:36:54] Yeah, to a deluxe apartment in the sky.

[00:36:58] Should I buy, like, what else do I want to get?

[00:37:00] A buying an apartment to my villager brain seems ridiculous.

[00:37:04] It's a stupid idea.

[00:37:05] Because he's like, what, I just have, I buy something to have roommates, basically.

[00:37:09] Yeah, well, not all of that.

[00:37:10] You got to pay.

[00:37:11] You got to pay because it's all a co-ops in New York.

[00:37:13] Yeah.

[00:37:14] So you pay maintenance fees.

[00:37:15] You don't actually own the apartment.

[00:37:17] You own shares and like the corporate.

[00:37:18] But it's also harder, like, I think to get a mortgage on one of those because a bank doesn't

[00:37:23] like dealing with like condo association.

[00:37:25] That sucks, dude.

[00:37:26] Yeah.

[00:37:27] What the fuck is it?

[00:37:28] What's the point in fucking buying a room in a building?

[00:37:31] How the fuck do you even do that?

[00:37:33] That pisses me off.

[00:37:34] I'm fucking pissed off now.

[00:37:37] And it's too expensive to buy regular house in New York.

[00:37:41] Maybe I will come to MassPilth with you, Nick.

[00:37:42] Yeah.

[00:37:43] Yeah, dude, be good up a little Irish bar.

[00:37:46] Oh, fuck Lehans.

[00:37:47] Called Oopsies.

[00:37:48] Oopsies are good, but...

[00:37:50] Oopsie, Denehies.

[00:37:51] Oopsie, Denehies next to Oh, fuck Lehans, and we'll let the market decide.

[00:37:54] Right.

[00:37:55] Fagrities?

[00:37:56] Fagrities.

[00:37:57] Yeah.

[00:37:58] It's not, it's not your kind of boss.

[00:38:00] I don't know how many times I have to tell you.

[00:38:04] It's just the name.

[00:38:08] This place looks good.

[00:38:11] Jesus fucking Christ.

[00:38:13] These guys together.

[00:38:16] It was my family's name in the old country.

[00:38:20] We're not...

[00:38:21] What am I supposed to change my name?

[00:38:23] I'm going to change my name like a fucking Italian.

[00:38:29] No queers at ofagities.

[00:38:31] Yeah, it is funny that there are a lot of Italians in America.

[00:38:38] His name is like Faggolio or Fagadici.

[00:38:41] Because in Ellis Island, all these guys have come out.

[00:38:44] My name is Alambondarisi and they're like, you're Louis.

[00:38:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:38:48] And they're like, wait, look at this guy's name.

[00:38:50] Yeah, let him there.

[00:38:51] The gim, buddy.

[00:38:52] Yeah.

[00:38:53] And here you go, Mr. Faggotop.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:57] Here you go Ernesto Dixcion.

[00:38:59] You're flirting me into your beautiful country.

[00:39:05] All right, hurry up.

[00:39:06] Your monkey's biting people.

[00:39:08] Oh, fuck, dude.

[00:39:10] Yeah, it is funny because it's like, I know a lot of fucking Greek people who have names

[00:39:16] like Birch because it's like they were Ellis Islanded.

[00:39:19] Really?

[00:39:20] Yeah.

[00:39:21] Are they like the wasps of Greeks?

[00:39:22] Yeah, like the Americanized.

[00:39:25] You know, yeah, I mean, it is funny because they look down on the fresh off the boats.

[00:39:29] Well, those people are just American basically.

[00:39:31] Like, like there's a definite split in Greek people that came here.

[00:39:35] Like, because my family came in the eight years.

[00:39:38] Real quick, the Capitol or the president of Indonesia is named Joko Widodo.

[00:39:43] Joko Widodo?

[00:39:45] Hell yeah.

[00:39:46] That's a fucking sick man.

[00:39:48] Who was the guy who was the, there was like a king or a prince of some kind of shit over

[00:39:52] there.

[00:39:53] Dude, they all got awesome names.

[00:39:55] Susilla, bang, bang, Yudahono.

[00:39:57] Dude.

[00:39:58] That's awesome.

[00:39:59] Former president, Aines Basswood on.

[00:40:02] Bro, I'm going to name my, I'm going to change my name is Stobber's Bang Bang Hell.

[00:40:07] He's a bang, bang, suck on my dick.

[00:40:11] I just watched the raid two for the first time.

[00:40:14] You've never seen the raid two?

[00:40:16] Never seen two.

[00:40:17] I think it might be even better than one.

[00:40:19] Wait, this guy's name is Ganjar Pranowo.

[00:40:22] Pranowo?

[00:40:23] But this is, that's what he looks like.

[00:40:25] That's awesome.

[00:40:26] Ganjar.

[00:40:28] He's got his full name on his suit.

[00:40:30] That's awesome.

[00:40:31] Hell yeah dude.

[00:40:33] It's Muslim too.

[00:40:34] That's always funny to me is these countries, they're military guys, they'll have all these

[00:40:38] medals.

[00:40:39] Yeah, yeah.

[00:40:40] And it's like for what?

[00:40:41] Yeah.

[00:40:42] For what are those rules?

[00:40:43] For anything that cleans it.

[00:40:44] Yeah, they found like a little island with pygmies on it and they just fucking lit them

[00:40:47] up.

[00:40:48] Yeah.

[00:40:49] Well that's, have you seen the act of killing?

[00:40:51] That's the, that's the whole, I mean, that's like Indonesia's a country where like Hitler

[00:40:56] won.

[00:40:57] Really?

[00:40:58] And so like all their national heroes are like the fucking, what do you mean Hitler

[00:41:01] won?

[00:41:02] Like the, they didn't ethnic Gettysburg.

[00:41:05] Like Gettysburg, you know.

[00:41:06] They did like a Gettysburg where they sent north one but you go to the town and so

[00:41:11] all just races.

[00:41:12] I see.

[00:41:13] No, it's like a, they, they, yeah, they did like a genocide and then the bad guys won

[00:41:20] after the genocide.

[00:41:21] Oh really?

[00:41:22] And they don't feel bad about it.

[00:41:23] They're like, it's like glorious.

[00:41:25] Yeah, it's their glorious.

[00:41:26] They're, so they killed every, like what, what, that documentary, the act of killing,

[00:41:30] the guy goes there and he finds these like, basically they have these street criminals

[00:41:35] who they were, they like, they were like gangsters and they watched like American movies because

[00:41:42] like before the genocide, they would sell like movie tickets on the street.

[00:41:47] So they're all dressed like new look by the way.

[00:41:49] He looks awesome.

[00:41:51] They'd all dress like like the godfather and stuff.

[00:41:54] And so then this guy gets them to like reenact their like victories and stuff.

[00:41:59] And so they make a movie of them doing these genocides and then it kind of settles in

[00:42:05] like at the end of the movie, the guy's like, I'm going to hell.

[00:42:08] Whoa.

[00:42:09] Like for the first time in his life.

[00:42:10] And he's just throwing up all of the people.

[00:42:11] He's like Jesus Christ.

[00:42:12] He's like, I really?

[00:42:13] Yeah, yeah.

[00:42:14] Like through the reenact.

[00:42:15] Yeah, because of the whole movie, the guys going around and he's like, and this is where

[00:42:18] we strung up the kids and stripped their flesh off and you cook their balls in front of them.

[00:42:22] And he's like, and then they're doing like plays reenacting.

[00:42:25] But he's like dressed.

[00:42:26] He's like dressed like John Travolta Saturday night fever.

[00:42:28] And then the final, the final scene, he goes up to a rooftop at like a restaurant or something.

[00:42:33] And he's like, yeah, we lined them up all out of here and shot them all.

[00:42:37] And then he just like takes a beat and then he just starts like retching.

[00:42:41] He starts like throwing up and he's like, I'm going to hell.

[00:42:44] He's like, Holy shit.

[00:42:47] Who do they genocide?

[00:42:48] Who's the like, where are the communists?

[00:42:50] Other Indonesians.

[00:42:51] Yeah, like in quotes, communists, but it was like political enemies of they.

[00:42:56] Damn, dude.

[00:42:57] People that wouldn't take the vaccine.

[00:43:01] The real the real martyrs.

[00:43:03] I am loving these vaccine protests.

[00:43:06] What's going on?

[00:43:07] They're like, they're like, go to Applebee's and Burger King.

[00:43:11] Oh, no, no.

[00:43:12] Yeah, there's the guys.

[00:43:13] There's guys.

[00:43:14] The cheesecake factory in Queen.

[00:43:15] The Burger King's the best one though.

[00:43:17] Right.

[00:43:18] He's just his Burger King.

[00:43:19] There's this guy, there's this guy just filled with homeless people or HIV positive.

[00:43:24] No one wants to be in there.

[00:43:25] Blood all over the floor.

[00:43:27] They're like, this is all right.

[00:43:29] It's New Yorkers.

[00:43:30] Who's going to Burger King anymore?

[00:43:32] Nobody.

[00:43:33] When McDonald's exists.

[00:43:34] Mm hmm.

[00:43:35] Yup.

[00:43:36] Take that.

[00:43:37] Burger King.

[00:43:38] How's it still business?

[00:43:39] It definitely has fallen off.

[00:43:41] I will say that.

[00:43:42] I think the wiper used to be a decent sandwich.

[00:43:44] The wiper.

[00:43:45] Your mind's distorted because all the fast food places in the city suck dick.

[00:43:50] They're just not good.

[00:43:51] And Elvis's words, he said, the wiper has star power.

[00:43:54] Let me tell you something.

[00:43:55] I went to an Applebee's in like the middle of Delaware.

[00:43:58] A couple years ago.

[00:43:59] Probably the best meal you've ever had in your life.

[00:44:01] Amazing.

[00:44:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:44:03] Fucking amazing.

[00:44:04] The Applebee's in Baltimore when they first opened, when it was the first Applebee's in

[00:44:07] East Baltimore, unbelievable.

[00:44:09] Yeah, yeah.

[00:44:10] But it fell off within two years.

[00:44:11] I don't know why.

[00:44:12] What year was this?

[00:44:13] In May 2018.

[00:44:15] Oh, damn.

[00:44:16] 1999.

[00:44:17] Because a lot of those places, like it used to be...

[00:44:20] Maybe early 2000s.

[00:44:21] Before that, because the recession really did hollow out the middle class.

[00:44:25] So there's all these things that are for middle class people that like cease to exist because

[00:44:30] the middle class either became rich or became poor.

[00:44:33] So like that's why like Benagan's went away and Ruby Tuesday's got shitty because that

[00:44:37] was the thing.

[00:44:38] It's like once a month you go out to a nice dinner with your family.

[00:44:40] We were at Chili's family.

[00:44:42] Yeah, you could go have a nice meal like once in a while at a place that's not too expensive.

[00:44:47] Yeah.

[00:44:48] And now, I mean, now it's like even worse, you go to restaurants and it's like, you go

[00:44:51] to a shitty place and it's fucking $90 for two people with no drinks.

[00:44:55] Right, right, right, right, right.

[00:44:57] Yeah, dude.

[00:44:59] Fuck that.

[00:45:00] Fuck inflation.

[00:45:01] I'm about to find an economist.

[00:45:02] I'm going to fuck him in the ass for that.

[00:45:04] It's their fault.

[00:45:05] You got to have stocks.

[00:45:06] You got to have all your money in assets.

[00:45:08] God damn it, dude.

[00:45:09] I don't want to learn what that shit is.

[00:45:11] Just pay somebody to do it.

[00:45:13] Yeah, you're right.

[00:45:14] You have a house.

[00:45:15] That's good.

[00:45:16] Yeah, but it's a fuck.

[00:45:17] I mean, the house is so cheap.

[00:45:19] We could all buy houses right in Baltimore right now cash if we wanted to do it.

[00:45:22] Yeah, but it's going to go up in value.

[00:45:24] Yeah, a little bit Greek town.

[00:45:25] I'm hopeful cross my fingers every time I go back, it actually is nicer and I'm shocked.

[00:45:32] You know what you got to do.

[00:45:33] What's that?

[00:45:34] You got to get the case and that's right.

[00:45:35] You got to get that like another house and let gay guys.

[00:45:38] You honestly got to get it.

[00:45:41] It's only out of your game because DC's topped out and not only like with housing stock,

[00:45:45] but also like everyone knows that city's gay.

[00:45:47] Yeah, it sucks.

[00:45:48] And it's like...

[00:45:49] DC's mad expensive.

[00:45:51] Yeah, it's incredibly expensive.

[00:45:52] It's supposed to be shit.

[00:45:53] It's a dick.

[00:45:54] It's the worst city in America.

[00:45:56] It might be, yeah.

[00:45:58] But I was like blown away that more because I remember when like I dated somebody that

[00:46:04] lived in pet worth and they worked in Chinatown in DC and they spent the night when I was

[00:46:08] looking waverly and it took her the same amount of time to get to work.

[00:46:13] That's crazy.

[00:46:14] Yeah, because she didn't have to take a bus all the way from Petworth's downtown in DC.

[00:46:17] Right, right.

[00:46:18] He was hopping on the train to get off a Union Station.

[00:46:19] Right, because also the Metro is so expensive in DC.

[00:46:21] Yeah.

[00:46:22] Not even like that.

[00:46:23] The Mark trains mad cheap.

[00:46:24] Yeah.

[00:46:25] Yeah, Greek town though is not by the train, but I actually do it for whatever reason it's

[00:46:30] picking up steam.

[00:46:33] So yeah, maybe I'll just fucking become a Greek town slum lord.

[00:46:36] Mm hmm. You got it.

[00:46:38] You got to open up a faggard is fat.

[00:46:40] Oh faggard.

[00:46:41] You got to get something that brings the gays.

[00:46:43] How about a buy house?

[00:46:44] I talk to your real estate agent about opening a church getting like a religious tax exemption

[00:46:50] and then the church is just a gym and like a place to put tools.

[00:46:56] That's a work on your car.

[00:46:57] That's a brilliant idea.

[00:46:58] Yeah, you just shave your head and you're like, yeah, I'm a monk.

[00:47:01] How hard would it be to do that?

[00:47:03] I don't think it's that hard at all.

[00:47:04] I think the zoning there is.

[00:47:06] Well, you're a pastor and minister in the universal life church.

[00:47:11] So I maybe could start preaching.

[00:47:14] Is that the same company as the universal circus?

[00:47:16] It is, yeah.

[00:47:17] Yeah.

[00:47:18] So I can also.

[00:47:19] Derek Adam's circus.

[00:47:20] Yeah.

[00:47:21] It also do the black circus.

[00:47:24] I can also, yeah, I can also.

[00:47:25] We're going to get rid of these unskilled workers and replace them with clowns.

[00:47:29] With black clowns.

[00:47:30] With brother clowns.

[00:47:31] And now brother clown was zapping Roger to discuss the only crime situation.

[00:47:38] It is so funny New York has never had a good mayor.

[00:47:41] It's like it's like it's better to have a mayor like this than a mayor like de Blasio

[00:47:46] who's like faking like I think Al Smith was like the only, but he was governor of New

[00:47:50] York.

[00:47:51] But he also never left the low reside.

[00:47:53] That's just entire life.

[00:47:55] That's so fucking funny.

[00:47:56] Yeah.

[00:47:57] He just spoke all of like the peasant languages.

[00:47:59] Yeah.

[00:48:00] He was the neighborhood.

[00:48:02] You know, that was the most densely populated area in the world.

[00:48:04] It was its own congressional district in the United States.

[00:48:08] That's so awesome.

[00:48:10] Just the lower east side.

[00:48:11] That's awesome.

[00:48:12] Yeah.

[00:48:13] But I guess not because it was not anymore.

[00:48:15] Right?

[00:48:16] No more slums and shit.

[00:48:17] Well, they have like big project buildings there.

[00:48:21] Yeah.

[00:48:22] Or by two bridges.

[00:48:23] And they got a lot of really cool.

[00:48:25] I got a big project you could work on.

[00:48:27] What's that?

[00:48:28] My dick and balls.

[00:48:29] You've said multiple times that's not big.

[00:48:31] It is.

[00:48:32] You said you're all the records you've been today in this episode.

[00:48:35] This is case.

[00:48:36] Well, and it's certain.

[00:48:38] It depends on the context.

[00:48:40] Well, maybe in my dainty hands.

[00:48:41] Your little ass hands, your little ass mouth.

[00:48:43] What's your shirt say?

[00:48:45] It's a shirt given to me by Greek bakery in Rochester.

[00:48:48] Let's shout them out.

[00:48:49] Shout out to Vula's Greek sweets.

[00:48:53] It's kind of cool.

[00:48:54] It's kind of metal looking.

[00:48:56] Well, not where you put your whole hand out like that.

[00:48:59] It's like go fuck yourself or your own.

[00:49:01] That is.

[00:49:02] Oh, so it's a cheeky.

[00:49:03] It's a cheeky joke.

[00:49:04] It's cheeky.

[00:49:05] Yeah, it's pretty good.

[00:49:06] Shout out to Vula.

[00:49:07] People don't know when they see that shirt that it's a middle finger.

[00:49:09] It's basically a middle finger.

[00:49:10] It's basically a bad ass.

[00:49:12] Well, here's the thing I love about Greek.

[00:49:14] Like the hand is that and then obviously you get the middle finger.

[00:49:17] But then another go fuck you is basically this.

[00:49:21] Middle finger down.

[00:49:22] Which is like what happens when you finger somebody.

[00:49:24] It's literally like from finger popping.

[00:49:26] So it's like you'll just see fucking little kids be like fuck you.

[00:49:30] I put my fingers in the connotations.

[00:49:33] I put my fingers in your pussy or your ass in a very graphic way.

[00:49:38] It's pretty close to the actual.

[00:49:39] I found myself doing that having sex.

[00:49:43] Then I'll laugh later on.

[00:49:44] Wow, I was disrespecting that pussy.

[00:49:47] Well, not that.

[00:49:48] But man, Greek people just really will put it all out on the table.

[00:49:51] There's no, you know, there's no subtlety.

[00:49:53] There's no subtlety.

[00:49:54] Yeah.

[00:49:55] It's a text.

[00:49:56] It's all there.

[00:49:57] That's what a beach island lifestyle does.

[00:49:59] Yeah, dude.

[00:50:00] I'm a s

[00:50:01] What too much pussy does to a motherfucker?

[00:50:03] What too much sun pussy and fried calamari does to a motherfucker.

[00:50:08] Which actually sounds so awesome.

[00:50:09] I've been eating too many Hawaiian pizzas lately.

[00:50:12] Respect from where?

[00:50:13] Brockos.

[00:50:14] Nice.

[00:50:15] I could get I could get it back on a little Hawaiian pizza like an island boy.

[00:50:19] Yeah.

[00:50:20] Yeah.

[00:50:21] Dude, you know we talked about how we were over pork shoulders and then the last night

[00:50:25] I graduated in the entire portion.

[00:50:26] I went, I was grocery shopping and I, you know, I just wanted to look at them.

[00:50:31] I was like, yeah.

[00:50:33] And then I saw one that was marked.

[00:50:35] They like did the pricing wrong?

[00:50:37] 80 cents for an entire pork shoulder.

[00:50:40] I was like, well, I'm not.

[00:50:41] Yeah, that's the way.

[00:50:42] Wait, wait, that's the way.

[00:50:43] That's the way they gave it to you for 80 cents.

[00:50:44] See, you understand assets and in place.

[00:50:46] Yeah.

[00:50:47] You can say you don't need to pay a guy at all.

[00:50:49] You got that.

[00:50:50] You're worse.

[00:50:51] So yeah, I made a nice pork.

[00:50:53] And I speed cooked it.

[00:50:55] I didn't let it like cook down and it was much the meat, the fat doesn't melt.

[00:50:59] So it's less like pulled pork less.

[00:51:01] But it's nice.

[00:51:02] It's still a hunk of a nice fatty cut of meat.

[00:51:04] It felt more like.

[00:51:05] They honor the 80 cents, of course, at the checkout, of course.

[00:51:09] We're not going to ask any fucking questions.

[00:51:11] Who the fuck does the checkout girl give a fuck that this piece of shit grocery store

[00:51:15] is losing money?

[00:51:16] Maybe her family always look grocery store.

[00:51:19] No.

[00:51:20] Her family does not own food bazaar and Astoria.

[00:51:23] Food bazaar is not a bad grocery store.

[00:51:25] It's a good grocery store.

[00:51:26] Yeah.

[00:51:27] It's very good, in fact.

[00:51:28] Their produce is pretty good too.

[00:51:29] I like it.

[00:51:30] It's far from my house, but I was just going on a walk.

[00:51:33] I'm walking.

[00:51:34] Look, let me pop in here.

[00:51:36] The other thing is I know all the places you can piss along that route.

[00:51:40] There's a Home Depot at the edge of a store you can piss in.

[00:51:44] Wow.

[00:51:45] Food bazaar.

[00:51:46] Home Depot bathroom.

[00:51:47] I don't think I've ever done that.

[00:51:49] Yeah.

[00:51:50] Oh yeah.

[00:51:51] Because you know, I was on my step shit.

[00:51:53] So I discovered all the places.

[00:51:54] I know the public parks with my checkpoints.

[00:51:57] I know my checkpoints, my saving areas.

[00:52:00] One time I took a piss, a guy was taking one of the most heinous shit I've ever heard

[00:52:04] in a public bathroom in the bathrooms right by the ferry in Astoria.

[00:52:11] Right next to the projects.

[00:52:13] I think, yeah, like a Long Island city.

[00:52:17] And also there's also, there's a bathroom by the Costco in the park over there.

[00:52:24] Yeah.

[00:52:25] One of the most beautiful Costco's in America for my money.

[00:52:28] Gorgeous Costco.

[00:52:29] You get to watch.

[00:52:30] I don't know what is that.

[00:52:31] What body of water is that?

[00:52:32] The East River that separates Queens from fucking Roosevelt Island.

[00:52:37] Roosevelt Island?

[00:52:38] Is that the East River?

[00:52:39] Yeah.

[00:52:40] Roosevelt Island is in the middle of the East River.

[00:52:41] Yeah.

[00:52:42] So yes, the East River.

[00:52:43] We should move to Roosevelt Island.

[00:52:44] That would be cool, dude.

[00:52:45] That's a weird place.

[00:52:46] I don't know if I'd drive my bike over there.

[00:52:47] It's top of tails.

[00:52:49] Yep.

[00:52:50] It's just like, it's just like...

[00:52:52] You see that lower half of the island was like an old abandoned insane asylum.

[00:52:56] Yeah, now it's just like nice apartments for people that weren't in the town.

[00:52:59] What's like Cornell bought it all up and they turned it in.

[00:53:01] Yeah, and research hospitals.

[00:53:02] Yeah.

[00:53:03] Yeah, it is really nice over there, but it's like who the fuck's living?

[00:53:05] There's one train.

[00:53:06] There's one train.

[00:53:07] Where that weird little fucking air trolley, whatever the fuck it's called.

[00:53:11] We got to move to City Island.

[00:53:12] That's where we got to go.

[00:53:13] Have you ever been there?

[00:53:15] It's the laziest name.

[00:53:18] City Island.

[00:53:19] Respect.

[00:53:20] They don't got time to fucking name the island, bro.

[00:53:24] They're fucking heavy.

[00:53:25] You should take a girl on a date to City Island one day, so that's too far from me, man.

[00:53:29] Just getting the car.

[00:53:30] It's actually not that far from where you live.

[00:53:31] You're right.

[00:53:32] Take the bridge over.

[00:53:33] You should take a guy on a date to the bathroom.

[00:53:36] No.

[00:53:37] Or your ass.

[00:53:38] That wouldn't be appropriate.

[00:53:39] You should watch a movie in your ass with a guy.

[00:53:42] And then let him fuck you in it somehow.

[00:53:44] You know, I finally been able to see food, get a steady pace going, watching the terror

[00:53:50] that AMC show from a couple of years ago.

[00:53:53] And I want nothing more to be in the British Navy during the era.

[00:54:00] So you can bugger, kids.

[00:54:02] So you can bugger.

[00:54:03] So you can do buggery?

[00:54:05] It's part of the culture.

[00:54:07] Yeah.

[00:54:08] Raping the enlisted men.

[00:54:10] Yeah.

[00:54:11] Walking them in.

[00:54:12] Walking around my hands behind my back, accentuating my buttons all the time.

[00:54:17] And what money buttons you have, sir.

[00:54:21] Yeah, you probably could get ahead if you had the shiniest buttons on the boat.

[00:54:25] Yeah.

[00:54:26] No, that shows awesome.

[00:54:28] Yeah, I never seen it.

[00:54:30] Never been either.

[00:54:31] I never seen the age of sale.

[00:54:33] How many is only one season?

[00:54:35] Yeah.

[00:54:36] It's a mini series.

[00:54:37] I like that.

[00:54:38] I love a mini series.

[00:54:40] I love a Reese's Pieces.

[00:54:42] I love that too.

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:44] In a way, it kind of its own mini series.

[00:54:46] So many Reese's?

[00:54:47] It's a series of Reese's as you're reading.

[00:54:48] The miniature.

[00:54:49] Yeah.

[00:54:50] Well, compared to, I guess, regular Reese's as a miniature, but compared to the giant

[00:54:55] Reese's, they are miniature.

[00:54:57] Mm-hmm.

[00:54:58] So they make a Reese's that has Reese's Pieces in it.

[00:55:00] They do.

[00:55:02] They do, in fact, wild.

[00:55:03] And not only that, something I saw that I actually don't like, they do that plus potato

[00:55:09] chips.

[00:55:10] Yeah.

[00:55:11] Like little crushed up potato chips?

[00:55:12] Well, that all started with that fucking Jimmy Fallon Ben and Jerry's.

[00:55:15] It's like, fucking, you're high on weed.

[00:55:19] You're fucked up thinking Jimmy Fallon is funny.

[00:55:21] Wait, Jimmy Fallon's now as a bit of a Ben and Jerry's aficionado on the program.

[00:55:29] Yeah.

[00:55:30] He's the tonight dough.

[00:55:32] He's the tonight dough, which is a very good flavor.

[00:55:34] Maybe I'm thinking of the Stephen Colbert American.

[00:55:37] There's one that's the thing of America.

[00:55:39] Late night snack is the name of the ice cream.

[00:55:41] Late night snack.

[00:55:42] It's true.

[00:55:43] And it's got little chips in it.

[00:55:45] Yeah.

[00:55:46] See, here's where they fuck up.

[00:55:48] Pretzel is the perfect.

[00:55:50] If you want salt, it's the perfect guy to get in that mix.

[00:55:55] Don't get a fucking potato chip in there.

[00:55:57] What are we doing with potatoes?

[00:55:59] Right.

[00:56:00] Sweets are not the fucking purview of potatoes.

[00:56:02] Get them a fuck out of here.

[00:56:03] That's a vegetable.

[00:56:04] Yeah.

[00:56:05] It's a vegetable.

[00:56:06] It's a little cheeky when it comes to the gnocchi.

[00:56:09] You're trying to get in a pasta.

[00:56:11] You're trying to get into the fucking textures that almost, almost qualify you for dessert

[00:56:18] status.

[00:56:20] And even potato bread, I suppose the same can be said of.

[00:56:23] That's the best chip.

[00:56:24] That is the best bun on a burger, in my opinion.

[00:56:27] I'd have to give it some thought.

[00:56:29] I'm not ready.

[00:56:30] I'm not ready to weigh in.

[00:56:31] Potato bun.

[00:56:32] I'm not ready to weigh in just yet.

[00:56:33] It's the best bun.

[00:56:34] The ginger is still make late night snack.

[00:56:36] I didn't know about that.

[00:56:37] You know what's bullshit?

[00:56:38] I don't think it is.

[00:56:39] It is pretzel buns.

[00:56:40] Bullshit.

[00:56:41] I don't mind it.

[00:56:42] Fuck that.

[00:56:43] Fuck out of here.

[00:56:44] Why?

[00:56:45] Bullshit.

[00:56:46] Why?

[00:56:47] I see I'm not too sweet.

[00:56:48] I'm not when it comes to the bread, I'm open to experimentation.

[00:56:50] I like a Chebata.

[00:56:51] Here we go.

[00:56:52] I'm with you.

[00:56:53] Potato roll.

[00:56:54] If you're going to cook out.

[00:56:55] According to a Ben and Jerry spokesperson, the flavor of vanilla ice cream flecked with

[00:56:59] salted caramel swirls and fudge covered potato chip clusters.

[00:57:03] No, thanks.

[00:57:04] Yeah.

[00:57:05] Potato.

[00:57:06] I don't think that sounds good.

[00:57:08] Sounds all right.

[00:57:09] No, you need.

[00:57:10] But replace that.

[00:57:11] Replace it.

[00:57:12] It should just be.

[00:57:13] It should be vanilla ice cream.

[00:57:14] It's better.

[00:57:15] A bunch of fucking Jameson.

[00:57:17] The ring that D. Gloved his finger when he fell down drunk.

[00:57:20] Yeah, it is funny.

[00:57:23] That man just gets so far.

[00:57:24] You know what?

[00:57:25] I have to say it's shocking.

[00:57:26] Wouldn't you though?

[00:57:27] I mean, maybe not you, but I know I would.

[00:57:30] Yeah.

[00:57:31] This is a late night TV host.

[00:57:40] He was in band of brothers and his appearance was reviled.

[00:57:44] You don't want to know.

[00:57:47] Yeah, it almost ruins the show.

[00:57:49] I was just one of the best shows.

[00:57:50] He pulls up in a Jeep and he's like, major winners.

[00:57:54] You're ready to go to the front?

[00:57:57] You know, Damien Lewis has to be like, okay Jimmy.

[00:58:02] Let's go.

[00:58:04] I mean, I remember they tried to make a movie star.

[00:58:06] I was in Taxi with Queen Elizabeth.

[00:58:08] But those are comedies.

[00:58:09] That's what I mean.

[00:58:12] Yeah, yeah.

[00:58:13] But yeah, it is crazy.

[00:58:15] There hasn't been a video of him just drunk as fuck.

[00:58:17] They deserve a fucking award for that.

[00:58:20] How do they do it?

[00:58:22] I think they just, if you should have been a barns from everyone.

[00:58:25] I think they just buy everyone drinks and shit and they just like, I think he's got

[00:58:29] a whole team that goes around.

[00:58:31] Uh huh.

[00:58:32] That would be my guess.

[00:58:33] I don't know.

[00:58:34] Yeah.

[00:58:35] I think they kind of think they're funny.

[00:58:36] There are a bunch of pictures of someone equally as powerful Papa John Schlatter.

[00:58:40] He's got pants on the front of his pants.

[00:58:44] Stay tuned.

[00:58:45] What a best video.

[00:58:50] A reckoning is coming.

[00:58:52] He called coronavirus, dude.

[00:58:53] That was it.

[00:58:54] Also, I guarantee you never went to Epstein's Island.

[00:58:58] The motherfucker just loves money and pizza.

[00:59:00] And if he's getting like fat-titted milfs maybe.

[00:59:03] And living in Louisville, Kentucky.

[00:59:06] Oh yeah.

[00:59:07] Yeah, what's it?

[00:59:09] Oh man.

[00:59:10] He was a town called Poon, India.

[00:59:13] Really?

[00:59:14] Yeah, we got to go.

[00:59:15] We got to go get us some fucking Poon and Poon.

[00:59:17] I kind of want to go to India.

[00:59:19] You got to time it so it's right when you lose your sense of smell from coronavirus.

[00:59:24] And that's the time.

[00:59:30] Just get there.

[00:59:34] I'm looking doorknobs.

[00:59:35] I'm like, no, don't worry.

[00:59:37] I'm vaccinated.

[00:59:38] I just want to something to take the edge off.

[00:59:43] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:59:45] I still have a lot of other places.

[00:59:47] I want to go first.

[00:59:49] But I really like to go there.

[00:59:50] Yeah, I miss Australia.

[00:59:52] Australia was fucking pretty sick, honestly.

[00:59:55] It's just so goddamn.

[00:59:56] Well, we were just had to do shows the whole time.

[00:59:58] And it's like we were already burned out from a week of travel.

[01:00:01] The beach was sick.

[01:00:02] I think about Japan.

[01:00:03] I think about Japan.

[01:00:04] The new news was nice.

[01:00:05] The new news was crazy.

[01:00:06] Yeah.

[01:00:07] I like that.

[01:00:08] The day we had on the beach was beautiful.

[01:00:09] It was also the beautiful.

[01:00:10] The beautiful.

[01:00:11] Bondi Beach.

[01:00:12] There was no peak.

[01:00:13] I feel in my mind that was the penis.

[01:00:15] It's just steady to come on.

[01:00:16] You go to the other side.

[01:00:17] Well, I don't mean in terms of quality.

[01:00:18] In terms of how much I enjoy this shit.

[01:00:20] Oh, I see it.

[01:00:21] We went to the far end of the world, like Master.

[01:00:23] I didn't really seem like you're having much fun.

[01:00:26] I wasn't.

[01:00:27] But I'm taking painkillers.

[01:00:28] That's true.

[01:00:29] Yeah.

[01:00:30] You're kind of being a dragger.

[01:00:31] That was a fucking gateway, honestly.

[01:00:32] But it's like I'm like that on vacation all the time.

[01:00:34] And jet lag makes it worse.

[01:00:36] But it's like I know that I want to kill myself and I want to die and I'm not having

[01:00:39] a good time.

[01:00:40] But your brain precludes you from remembering that.

[01:00:43] Right.

[01:00:44] So you remember the nice things you saw?

[01:00:45] Yeah.

[01:00:46] So you just forced yourself to go do things.

[01:00:48] Yeah.

[01:00:49] I had a lot of nice meals.

[01:00:50] Like Greek meal in Melbourne was incredible.

[01:00:53] Dude, I cannot wait.

[01:00:54] You know what?

[01:00:55] Not only that, but then also on fire.

[01:00:57] Pretending to be in love with the dinner plate.

[01:00:59] Well, I'm all fucked up on pills and eating the best food I've ever had.

[01:01:02] And I'm like crying laughing.

[01:01:04] Yeah.

[01:01:05] Yeah.

[01:01:06] Yeah.

[01:01:07] That's true.

[01:01:08] I remember that.

[01:01:09] Yeah.

[01:01:10] That's what made the ramen so good was laughing at that guy.

[01:01:11] I tried to talk about Japanese.

[01:01:12] Yeah.

[01:01:13] Yeah.

[01:01:14] That guy was awesome.

[01:01:15] Yeah.

[01:01:16] I hope he did it too.

[01:01:17] Yeah.

[01:01:18] You like you got iPhone.

[01:01:19] Oh, so you're Japanese.

[01:01:20] Yeah.

[01:01:21] And there's like polite Japanese girls were giggling but clearly did not want any parts

[01:01:26] of that man.

[01:01:27] That's so.

[01:01:28] And anyway, tune into the early, the free episode to hear the rest of this story maybe.

[01:01:32] Yep.

[01:01:33] Yeah.

[01:01:34] Yeah.

[01:01:35] Yeah.

[01:01:36] Yeah.

[01:01:37] Yeah.

[01:01:38] Yeah.

[01:01:39] Yeah.

[01:01:40] Yeah.

[01:01:41] Yeah.

[01:01:42] Yeah.

[01:01:43] Yeah.

[01:01:44] Yeah.

[01:01:45] Yeah.

[01:01:46] Yeah.

[01:01:47] Yeah.

[01:01:48] Yeah.