Cum Town | Premium | 01/30/2022
[00:00:00] I guess yeah, we'll just we're remembering the cheese faggot again. Yeah, one of the best nicknames for Adam ever
[00:00:09] There's it's been lost to history. Yeah, but it doesn't matter
[00:00:14] Yeah, no cuz I think it was he got cheese he got cheese and then we ate all the cheese. We were eating his cheese
[00:00:24] I think he got like really expensive cheese to eat with like apples or something gay like that
[00:00:30] Yeah, then calling them a cheese faggot, but Adam of course is not here yet. He's late to work
[00:00:36] You think he's shitting probably breaking the car. I think he's immediately doing that
[00:00:47] I'm look my guts are on the rocks. It was football. It was big football Sunday yesterday
[00:00:55] George the fucking fellas were just eating Korean wings all day love that watching fucking you know what?
[00:01:01] I haven't watched football that much, but I get it man
[00:01:04] We just fucking with just all day on a Sunday. It's it's really nice. Yeah, I was like for a while
[00:01:11] I was on my I haven't watched football or cared about it probably 20 years. It was it's the I watched the playoffs
[00:01:19] There's it really it's funny because it's like not watching it
[00:01:22] I think and it's like I can't imagine that would be fun to watch and then if you I put a game on I'm like, okay
[00:01:28] Well, I'm just gonna watch this exactly. It's nice to it's perfect background because it's like if it's nothing's going on
[00:01:34] It's just background right and then if it's great. Yeah, the best thing to watch right a great football game is better than anything
[00:01:39] It's just so many of them are fucking boring. Yeah, but a good one sucks your dick like you wouldn't believe
[00:01:44] Yeah, so anyway, I got a fuck I got about a hundred fifty dollars worth of
[00:01:48] Double fried Korean wings and nuggets. I love that. I want my guts
[00:01:52] I want the hometown barbecue and did the same the other day
[00:01:55] We'll hung over decided to go get some just cure it with mm-hmm animal fat. That's the best way and
[00:02:07] What do you mean that's supposed to be like the best barbecue in New York? Oh, really? Yeah, I never heard of it
[00:02:12] That's the one in Red Hook. Yeah, that's what people say now
[00:02:14] I my personal favorite is still I used to like the smoke joint a lot
[00:02:18] But then they're green they closed yeah, they closed now. It's like a peaches and a smoke joint
[00:02:23] Mmm, and then the last two times I went there
[00:02:27] The first time I got into an argument with some
[00:02:36] I like sat down in one of the like cubicles and then no one came to the table for like 20 minutes
[00:02:43] So they probably remembered me from the time before oh, but
[00:02:47] They used to be my favorite John Brown smoke house
[00:02:51] The current number one in the Mullen bar if I go if I go get barbecue, that's real good
[00:02:55] But I've tried at hometown cuz everyone's like you're gonna go to home one in Red Hook, right?
[00:02:59] Yeah, everyone sucks that place off and yeah, and then you go there and there's the line takes like a fucking hour
[00:03:05] Need that about barbecue. I didn't get the beef ribbed that looked like that might be their thing
[00:03:09] No, I love a beef rib, but you should judge barbecue based on their brisket and
[00:03:14] I find brisket is everyone often fucks brisket up. Yeah, it's not it cuz if you've had like perfect brisket
[00:03:21] Yes, especially if you're in Austin and shit like that
[00:03:24] The town oh look who decided to join in lock in lock
[00:03:28] Yeah, it's in between those places does I mean it's unreal hugger that dude me and George
[00:03:34] Fucking drove from Houston to Austin. Yeah, and there was just a place. I don't remember what it was called
[00:03:40] Sucked my cock clean off. It was incredible. Yeah, Troy's
[00:03:44] Croids market in in Lockhart is is it's unreal, but yeah, no it was dry the texture was weird take him down and fucking peg or two
[00:03:53] Yeah, the barbecue home hometown barbecue. I've gotten some good stuff there was a brisket
[00:03:59] I got the the dinosaur the beef ribs the dynamos. Those are pretty good. Yeah, that's I think that's their thing is the is the beef ribs
[00:04:07] I think that those were pretty good. Um, I don't remember. I can't nothing else stands out
[00:04:13] That's the only one I can well I got I did get a variety and it's stupid to complain about it's like going to Austin being like the pizza sucks
[00:04:20] Or whatever, you know, yeah, but but if there was a restaurant talking about how good their fucking pizza wasn't Austin
[00:04:26] And everyone said it was good the barbecue you get in Texas
[00:04:30] You can just go you go like they have them all over the place these places that are like just like a sharecropper's house
[00:04:37] Yeah, it's just like it's like a two two it's like two twin beds and the smoker in the same room, right?
[00:04:42] It was just like two obese of an obese black couple right that sleeps in the room
[00:04:57] You order and you can't tell if the words are even even registering, right?
[00:05:01] But then you get the food it's exactly your yeah, and the food of the meat is just smeared on the like wax paper
[00:05:17] And then it's good it's better than hometown barbecue without question
[00:05:20] Shout out Sam's on East 12th. I don't know if that's still there Danny's barbecue. I think that was on
[00:05:30] Brisk it house. What's it called? Please buy here?
[00:05:33] You're not even paying attention Danny's brisket house David's
[00:05:37] Unnostrid we're talking about we're talking about Texas. Sorry you were in the bathroom
[00:05:43] Doing God knows what what were you doing in there?
[00:05:45] I just got back from New Orleans and I had a burnays with
[00:05:51] Smell in there you should have your house. I am you should
[00:05:55] Yes, I did. No you did. Yes, I did. Yes. I did you take a long shit at your
[00:06:02] Ignoring the conversation would you like adding things that are you locked like counterproductive?
[00:06:07] Shitting in the house after I told you like would you like to call my girlfriend ask if I should I would like you to leave?
[00:06:16] I will leave no you don't get to leave but more importantly listen guys more importantly before the show started
[00:06:23] I was telling a cute story about my time and I interrupt. I know I cut off
[00:06:28] I played a fast one on those Vietnamese. Yeah, I can't say do mom. Oh
[00:06:36] Right, and then you said I did the same if you're like I did that too
[00:06:39] If you enter on the side of the river instead of the side of the street, you don't need to tell me pal
[00:06:45] Don't need a wait in the line. You don't need to tell me some of us did this years ago and told people about it
[00:06:50] Yeah, no, you never fact he has said it before I remember the story he says and so it's very possible
[00:06:58] That that was been in your mind like a sleeper cell in other circumstances that would just be considered advice a helpful tip
[00:07:04] Right, but you said and you said this yourself. You said yeah, we went it wasn't very good
[00:07:10] No mention of hey, I did that I tried out
[00:07:14] I should have told you I should have told you you gave me the tip
[00:07:17] No, you gave me the tip you just said oh it was bad as if I
[00:07:21] Alright, and I will say this folks here's another episode of Adams deal corner and my deal that I came up with
[00:07:27] That's not even a deal. That's not a deal deal has something to do with money and it's not your deal
[00:07:33] It's my time is money and that our and that
[00:07:37] Ladies and gentlemen, it's at it's Adam's deal copy this is an official Adams deal
[00:07:42] And I will say there's New Orleans, Louisiana
[00:07:44] I say that on the side of the Mississippi look not the strip listen as somebody who's an impartial
[00:07:49] He spent the entire trip playing a Caliope with his ass. It's that true Adam. It is
[00:07:54] What's a Caliope? That's a Greek ladies name. It's like that. It's like a little like it's a clown organ. Oh
[00:08:02] He goes on like steam ships. Oh, wow. I didn't know that Adams just repeating everything I say afterwards
[00:08:08] You were just doing that I will say this Adam and look I didn't want to bring it up because we're all friends and when your friends
[00:08:14] Are doing something embarrassing got that boy are all friends and what and when our friends are doing something
[00:08:20] You forgot that I've temporarily forgot you forgot I've never forgot what Nick was saying your enemies
[00:08:26] I would never criticize you. I would say good for you Adam
[00:08:29] And then I would say can you believe with that?
[00:08:30] She's much like much like I'm trying to make you better much like when I was a child and I was being abused
[00:08:35] I have found out that there's it's only people are only me being mean to you because they love you because they love you
[00:08:42] People who are nice to you those people
[00:08:44] Well, I'll say Nick was telling his story and you chimed in with a couple thing
[00:08:52] You said he was like he was describing Kevin DeMone and you were like I know I was there yesterday
[00:08:56] No, he's he said there was a little something weird about I like the way a baby would say I know I did that
[00:09:02] That that is not that was kind of your tone that was not the order the way a little kid would be like
[00:09:08] Oh, yeah, I know the order was stop when you were New Orleans did you have fun? And then you said no
[00:09:14] I didn't I said and then nixas the fun in New Orleans is really good
[00:09:18] And then I said yes, there's a big vietnamese population in Louisiana and Texas in the Gulf
[00:09:27] And then Nick said you know they came over because they were frank a file and I said he never said Frank a file
[00:09:34] Frank a phone Frank a phone Frank a phone making sure Frank a phone Frank a phone Frank a phone Frank a phone Frank a phone
[00:09:37] I didn't say that either it didn't say that what you didn't say that no okay, then I said
[00:09:43] I didn't know that but I do know that they work in fisheries and in oil you said I think fisheries and oil
[00:09:49] Don't say like you said it with with you know command
[00:09:52] There was a week to see your voice. Listen. I for the first time in four years. Don't have a day them haircut
[00:09:59] I have a man's hair haircut looks good, and I'm carrying myself with a little on real quick a little bit more
[00:10:04] It does so for good. Thank you. It's even more of a day them hair cut. No, it's not they you look like Rachel Maddow
[00:10:09] No, I don't they do she's a she her yeah
[00:10:13] Yeah, she is she her she's just a lesbian. Yeah, you misgendered Maddow one more time
[00:10:18] So he does have a woman's haircut, but it's a lesbian nature
[00:10:22] It is it is close to racial matters here. Okay, but you do look good. It's not a fucking floppy
[00:10:27] Whatever that I like it better than they them. I like it a lot better myself. I feel like I'm myself again
[00:10:33] Oh, wow, I really lost myself. This was to me. This was who I was
[00:10:38] I wish the audience at home could see it because
[00:10:41] Went to the barbershop and they have a wall of haircuts up and then big font above it. It says the copying wall
[00:10:52] Wow, I guess I never thought of it, but every time you ever point to a picture of a guy's coffee your copying their haircut shit
[00:10:59] Fuck when I was a fat little eight-year-old and I was like I want to look like Ricky Martin
[00:11:04] That was my inspiration dude. I I got the Ricky Martin
[00:11:08] I wanted the little fucking gel at the top. I got the gel. I got the gel. Hold your hair
[00:11:11] Yeah, hold your hair down and then flip it
[00:11:15] I never got the flip and I thought I wasn't allowed to get the
[00:11:25] I was crushing the flip dude, that was my look for years
[00:11:28] You got to go with your mom to CVS and go into the gel. You're funny is Dan Soder had to flip until like two years
[00:11:35] He did have the flip pretty late life. You got locked in in 1998
[00:11:44] He did have the flip pretty late might as well be walking
[00:11:47] You know what it was it was like a blue collar flip when he was doing it
[00:11:51] It didn't feel like Ricky Martin. He got that flip well
[00:11:54] Yeah, you know why cuz he has the same vibes as like guys that were I mean in the way they approach life
[00:12:01] Like guys like my uncle that like probably graduated high school in like 1982
[00:12:05] And then they have a look and the look is like
[00:12:11] Short-crapped hair right never cut the mustache. Yes like a great bajanish sort of course of course
[00:12:16] The great bajanish looks identical that we did in 1982. Yes. Yeah, and Dan did that except with 1998
[00:12:23] That's a good point. That's a good point. It is a good point
[00:12:26] Count down till Adam copies it. He's just chewing on his hands now like a rat my
[00:12:33] lips are incredibly chapped. Oh, okay. Why does it happen?
[00:12:41] I'm trying to avoid it. I'm not asking in terms of like I'm trying to find you
[00:12:45] I'm trying to find a good medicated chapstick. You don't go when I find one just use Vaseline
[00:12:53] When I'm at home, but I want something for the go. I can't bring a ton a little
[00:12:58] We're gonna airport go to see there are little as a wall grains and they're cute. They're cute travel sex
[00:13:03] They look like miniatures. I'm gonna start making blue beauty vlogs
[00:13:07] And today I'm doing the medicated Bert's bees. Yeah, look out for that
[00:13:12] I'm I used to love stealing Bert's beeswax. I used to see a lot of that
[00:13:16] Yeah from Target specifically and it was like it was like rotos for your lips like cool. Hell yeah, I love rotos, dude
[00:13:24] Rotos when you smoke fucking weed you better be having rotos in your eyes. You did hurt so good
[00:13:30] That sting was awesome. It hurts so good and it worked. Yeah, it did it concealed me how high I was for my family
[00:13:38] Although one time I remember not taking rotos and I got high shit before watching 300
[00:13:44] Mmm and my ride to the theater was a little late. So I'm just in the living with my grandma and she's like are you crying?
[00:13:53] What's wrong that habit like I'm just tired that I was at my friend David's house
[00:13:58] Or my friend Alex's house and his we were eyes were bloodshed and his dad's like he's like boy the fuck of your eyes so red
[00:14:05] And we like stunk like weed and he's like I was fucking crying
[00:14:09] And then he ran out of the house. Oh, yeah, I remember and I had to just stand there with his dad
[00:14:14] I told the story about two months ago. I really told it about seven. What's interesting, too
[00:14:18] Is it's technically David's story. That's Alex's story. It's Alex's story. It's not really Adam's story to tell
[00:14:26] That is true. We'll put that. Look where's my spreadsheet. Shut up. It's Alex. Where's my copying spreadsheet that Alex?
[00:14:35] He's a personal injury his azzies. Yeah, what would you do?
[00:14:40] Hold on hold on the most hold on wait a new row Alex's story about being a personal
[00:14:50] That in that Alex copy yes, no or questionable we're doing hard. Yes, two hard. Yes
[00:15:00] Okay, three copies for the day. I should call you Xerox over here. Yeah, that would be good. It's called you Adam Xerox
[00:15:08] That would be a cool name. Mm-hmm. In fact, you can't have it anymore
[00:15:15] Would you like to go by Adam Xerox? No, I wouldn't
[00:15:19] That's a six fucking word, dude. It is cool X zero X is you're saying you would like to go by I
[00:15:26] Was agreeing with solve that's a cool word
[00:15:30] Know I want to just be Adam Adam faggot. It's Adam. It's it's
[00:15:40] What is it about Friedland that you think you're so attached to mmm. They probably the price. Yeah
[00:15:54] Not for you, but you ever tried to think you've gone friedland
[00:15:59] No, but I have been considering being a first initial middle name last name guy
[00:16:08] just like a Jewish couple and they're in the
[00:16:10] Like the I guess like what is it the neonatal ward or whatever?
[00:16:14] Doctors got the birth certificate and they would like what do you want to name the son and the mom's like how about author?
[00:16:20] Perhaps on my grandfather and then the father's like why can't we name him?
[00:16:25] Ira think about over the years of his life how much money we're gonna save on me
[00:16:31] It's three less lettuce. That's probably five pens over 60 years
[00:16:40] I was a sick name to I will admit don't see a lot of young iron is it short for anything
[00:16:45] Like iron thong Irish Republican army no
[00:16:50] Was awesome is it like it's not a bit of a man. It's I run to the bathroom anytime I
[00:16:56] Little bit too much I run a that's what it's your floor. What's Bernays?
[00:17:01] It's like a steak sauce. It's like a it's like a egg based sauce. I believe it's heavy
[00:17:08] I don't need a sauce with my fucking stick. I got an egg based sauce for you. Yeah, I got two eggs
[00:17:13] I got two eggs that are gonna make a really creepy sauce for you. Did you just say you saw that one comment?
[00:17:18] So you're trying a future copy. Yeah, you're trying to Tom Tom cruising vanilla sky. No in
[00:17:25] Minority report was vanilla sky about vanilla sky is a movie that really
[00:17:31] Used to make this happen. It's about a rich guy. That's hot. You've clipped your last coupon mr. Free
[00:17:43] It doesn't mean a James Bond no price execute
[00:17:52] So Tom Cruise smashes camera Diaz and he realized she's crazy. He's like I'd up yeah
[00:17:57] Oh, there's no future element of it. No listen. He's matches camera Diaz
[00:18:01] Then he's like you know going on about his name. He meets an elephant cruise top tier 10
[00:18:08] Right they fall in love and so he's freshly fucked. I tell you I'd like to go
[00:18:14] Cruz have a real carnival in between her titties and asshole that you and me both
[00:18:20] That's that's the kind of cruise I'd like to go on that's okay. I'd like that cruise as well
[00:18:23] Um call me the fucking mr. Carnival. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to go on that Penelope cruise diamond princess. Hey princess
[00:18:31] I'll give you a diamond if you suck my cock
[00:18:45] Now let me ask you this he meets Penelope Cruz
[00:18:47] He's still got Cameron Diaz's pussy juice on his cock or he's shower like I don't think he I think he took a shower
[00:18:53] And this is a is it implied according to your
[00:18:58] I love the crayons. I'd love to see you know, so I'd love to cram in DS. Yes
[00:19:07] I'd like to cram my dick in the you're gonna have your sound back now. Okay, and so then now hold on
[00:19:17] You said a forest got ran across America, but you never sit saw him take bathroom bricks
[00:19:22] And they implied that he never took a break
[00:19:25] I just that's much different. They didn't want to show that in the movie. No, they implied that I don't think they ever
[00:19:32] I ran right I don't think they implied then why was his fucking beard and why was he dirty?
[00:19:36] Why he have a fucking beard because when you take a shit, you don't shave your beard. He's face was dirty
[00:19:42] What about what if he had we hadn't taken fucking shower? It's also here's what's not a
[00:19:46] Shower your beard is still there. He's face was dirty Nick counselor. I have the answer counselor
[00:19:54] What's not implied which is just factually stated in the movie is that he's a mental retard, right?
[00:20:00] They tell you that in the first scene of the movie. That's true. And as we all know
[00:20:10] Thank you, but he didn't change his retards and astronauts
[00:20:14] They just had a big diaper read and invalids and babies
[00:20:20] Okay, so so he falls in love with Penelope Cruz and it's the same day those what I'm asking it's far scrum
[00:20:25] I don't think it's the same day. I think it might be a couple days later. Okay, Forrest grump Forrest grump
[00:20:39] He meets Penelope Cruz and and you know as he falls in love does he hit the skins immediately or is it more of a courtship?
[00:20:46] It's it's it's beautiful and he hits okay sick
[00:20:50] It's it's everything it's they do this thing where late at night. They draw each other
[00:20:56] And just it's not set in the future at all
[00:21:01] So then like you talking about total recall vanilla sky hills. Yeah, well, that's the which is a great name
[00:21:07] Recall is the future. Yeah, that's a recall rules. It takes place in the future. We're not talking about sort of
[00:21:13] Yeah, but we love but it's a great movie. Just just to point out Adam is wrong total recall does take place in the
[00:21:22] Should we play the tape back you clearly said it does not take place
[00:21:29] I said are we talking about total recall I said no and you said no
[00:21:33] That mean I said well for the record I take place in the future and I said yes
[00:21:38] It does so hold on a second. I said it takes place in the future
[00:21:42] You said it doesn't now you're revising your opinion to agree with me. No, it looks like we got to take a little trip over to the spreadsheet
[00:21:49] Okay, and put another agreeing with someone is not
[00:22:07] We have to revise the rules of the game
[00:22:11] Visa be this spreadsheet because agreement does not does not
[00:22:19] For coffee, okay, whatever. I want to find out what happens in the middle sky
[00:22:24] Okay, so he's as as you watch him fall in love with the milk be cruise you as a
[00:22:29] As a young adolescent boy you really fall in love there, too, you know and then I
[00:22:37] Don't know how much time takes place. Maybe it's a couple weeks this romance whatever she takes a mask off
[00:22:41] It's Cameron Diaz. No, so then he sees Cameron Diaz and she's she's beating
[00:22:46] I don't know I'm kind of Craig real quick
[00:22:48] I don't know if I said this on the show or not, but I wanted to do a commercial and
[00:22:52] And you remember the halo top ice cream. Yeah, of course with the girl dancing
[00:22:59] No, we'll pull it up real quick. That's cool. Adam you seen it, right? I
[00:23:04] Don't remember it's halo top and it's like morbidly obese woman and she's in her underwear dancing around her apartment eating
[00:23:11] Well commercial and it's like no more I should it's like I should exercise
[00:23:16] What do you mean morbidly obese? It's like 600 pounds woman? Yeah, no watch
[00:23:20] I mean she is I'm not saying critically she is disgusting
[00:23:34] Bear with his folks were almost pulling the commercial you can't see up
[00:23:41] The plot to a movie that probably most of you see
[00:23:44] And look at the picture maybe 90% of you shooting yourself this no no this is the wrong one
[00:24:01] This looks like a different one, but it's the same premise in each one of them
[00:24:06] I'm kind of pissed. I never got the halo top commercial for putting fat people in commercials. Yeah, I'm a perfect
[00:24:11] Per I'm tired of seeing these fat guys with full beards and full heads of hair on TV
[00:24:16] This is the next step of representation
[00:24:18] Yeah, this one a blue collar for this time. Thank you. Oh, yeah, oh fuckers ladies
[00:24:46] Stop shooting yourself shooting yourself stop shooting your pants. That's too close to shitting yourself
[00:24:52] Yeah, yeah, so anyways, that's a commercial
[00:24:54] I want to do one for halo top ice cream and it's like a like a dentist friends guy and a wife beer sweating
[00:25:01] Okay, so in like a ten minute apartment and he's got some like you know
[00:25:05] like Edith type of wife or whatever and he's just reading the newspaper and like
[00:25:10] There's like just dust coming off the ceiling like
[00:25:15] He's just flipping through the pages and the wife is like what do you think's going on Sam?
[00:25:20] He's like I guess the fat bitch upstairs got more ice cream
[00:25:26] Stop shooting yourself. That's good man. I like it. Yeah
[00:25:33] Anyways, we'll see you talk about total real little sky. So let's get back to the important stuff
[00:25:38] You know it really hits you emotionally seeing him
[00:25:41] You wish it was you you wish you were rich and handsome like Tom Cruise right and he's a ten in the movie to
[00:25:47] He's a ten in and of itself rich and handsome like Adam Friedland Adam Z rocks
[00:25:57] That's a cool name dude. I think you should try to try it on try it on for size. Oh cuz he's gonna put it on the spreadsheet. I
[00:26:03] Promise you I will not put it on the spreadsheet
[00:26:07] Promise you I will not put it on the spreadsheet
[00:26:09] But you are a principal that's right and Adam if you could take goes back on his word you can start a lying spreadsheet
[00:26:19] Well, actually neuro he's neurologically incapable of trying to try to compliment me to get me to not know
[00:26:25] I'm saying you're not in your age with this spreadsheet. I'm saying that you're too
[00:26:29] Neuro a tip the only reason you say I don't lie is because you lie often and you don't want me to accuse you of copying me
[00:26:39] Wouldn't that be wouldn't you be copying everyone stop talking if you lie everyone stop talking well unless you're talking about the real sky
[00:26:46] Hey everyone stop talking. Okay. I'm putting it on the spreadsheet. What I don't care. He likes the name. It's going on there
[00:26:53] He copied Adam's you said you said you said you said you wouldn't I was about to say Adam zero
[00:26:58] But you didn't say Adam zero now your copy no you know
[00:27:02] The deal had already been recited I said I'm taking it off the spreadsheet put him on the spine spreadsheet at point of fact
[00:27:09] I like the life I never said which spreadsheet the life. Oh, that's sure that's true
[00:27:13] You know what I didn't add it to the Adams nickname. Okay, you know what you know
[00:27:17] It's staying off there because you copied you're not allowed to be Adam zero
[00:27:21] Okay, I kind of like Adam four four copies for one day. You can call them that these are my nick
[00:27:26] Okay, I'm putting I'm putting the lying spreadsheet. I I have my my
[00:27:36] The font and bolding okay my organization crank that one up nope nope nope nope nope nope nope size 18
[00:27:42] Never see 18 point font and spreadsheet big it's too big it's too big it fucks up the whole spreadsheet
[00:27:47] It fucks up the whole thing. You got to keep it 10 anyway
[00:27:50] I'm putting that on the lying spreadsheet Nick and it gets how I have it organized
[00:27:57] I'm putting it as your number two biggest lie and the number one is of course
[00:28:04] Okay, so right behind not gay it was that you wouldn't put that on the copy
[00:28:09] Okay, it doesn't even on there because he knows the truth
[00:28:13] He knows what you never lied that he knows
[00:28:21] We all know it's the most okay Adam's your ox it's been a good getting on Twitter. It's been a hundred years folks
[00:28:28] Let's just be real hasn't even been a hundred years. We're close. We're close. We're close than I thought we'd ever get to
[00:28:33] It didn't have another 30 years at a hundred there's just gonna be people straight up being like it didn't happen
[00:28:40] Just like oh at a hundred people are gonna be throwing the sickest part. Yeah, it'll be like it'll be like when Biden won
[00:28:55] They were playing that a lot they're gonna be some they're gonna be thrilled they can bring it up
[00:29:02] Yeah, all right, so Tom Cruise you fall in love he falls in love you wish you were him
[00:29:08] He comes home one day guess who's broken into his house about mom crews
[00:29:13] They're like is somebody gonna suck my tits somebody gonna suck all this milk out of my tits. Yeah, that's good
[00:29:20] And maybe I'm a mommy she slides like like I'm a mommy
[00:29:25] I'm a mommy, but her big mom tits are hanging out of the shirt. There's a little bit at the end and Tom's like listen
[00:29:31] I've met someone and you're being crazy right, but I'll give you a ride home
[00:29:37] Okay, so she's in the car with him and she starts freaking out
[00:29:42] And then she grabs the wheel. Oh my god turns it they go off a bridge crash
[00:29:49] And he wakes up in the future wakes up in the hospital right
[00:30:14] Yes for sure check it look it up. Yeah, I remember the first time I saw a parmesan knot is like a dust
[00:30:26] Fuck is it are you out of your goddamn mind doesn't come out of a green tube with the yellow top
[00:30:34] Dude, it's also a wheel of parmesan is a good investment. It is they cost like thousands of parmesan futures are on the way
[00:30:44] Let me see how much this is that stops stops deal
[00:30:47] Court stops hot tip. Yeah, they're all at the sector heat map. They're all agricultural futures
[00:30:57] Camera cuts to him. He's fucking ugly. He's deformed. He's not hot Tom Cruise anymore. He looks like a freak
[00:31:06] They're like you know what okay Tom Cruise's pain. They're like we've tried you can get a 72 pounds
[00:31:12] Wheel of Parmigiano Regiano cheese for nine hundred and fifty dollars
[00:31:17] Then you cut it up aged 24 months imported from Italy
[00:31:21] Extravagant that's the features on the Costco website damn this might be the year of cheese
[00:31:31] Fag if you haven't been listening at home
[00:31:43] Especially Adam Xerox if I was physically capable of processing dairy and a homosexual it wouldn't be mean
[00:32:01] He's fucking ugly right that's fucked up and then he's like but I'm rich
[00:32:05] You know, can you can you send me to the best guy like put it back together put my words put out be cruising all this
[00:32:11] No where to be found no, no, she doesn't bail on him. Oh, well, what I go but we're Cameron Diaz
[00:32:22] Cameron Diaz I think dies good. Yeah, dad
[00:32:25] Talk about the mask. Yeah, we're talking about well
[00:32:29] Yes, kind of because they said listen we've tried everything we can you're rich as hell
[00:32:34] Like you you don't think we've done all the best plastic surgery
[00:32:37] Here's here's the only option that we could the mask offer is a prosthetic and it's basically a mask of a
[00:32:45] Just it's a mask your face. It's just a fucking
[00:32:49] Like a plastic like it's not even like rubbery. It's just like a hard plastic like mask. Oh, yeah
[00:32:59] No, you look like some fucking guy wearing a mask
[00:33:02] You know what I watched the other night would I had seen before but only like I think Amber put it on
[00:33:08] I was barely paying attention, but it's really good eyes without a face never seen it
[00:33:14] They're in your bowl. It's about this like or to titty this French doctor or whatever
[00:33:19] That's trying to do a face transplant on his daughter that like got her lost her face in a car accident
[00:33:23] Because damn so he's like kidnapping women and cutting their faces off and like oh fuck
[00:33:34] You Brandon more Dell. No, we have the our your copying brand new copy
[00:33:39] You've you've you've run the copier is out of paper and ink folks
[00:33:47] Listen you can't copy Brandon Wardell because all you're doing is copying queer black cult queer black teens
[00:33:59] So well that is caught. Well, then you are a copy then if anything it's
[00:34:04] tertiary copy don't give Brandon the credit you're right, you know, you're copying black gay black teens that queer black teens
[00:34:12] At a mission of a show anyway, you become a teacher in the Bronx. Yeah, it's called Paris is learning
[00:34:21] Queer young Puerto Rican kids they would eat him a lot
[00:34:26] Well, well any one of those teacher movies, but they never inspires them
[00:34:34] I'm gave you're a faggot. I teach them about the emancipation proclamation. They teach me how to ballroom
[00:34:40] Oh, they teach me how to serve it's easy. How do yeah, yeah, how to serve cunt. Yeah, how to serve?
[00:34:53] Paris is you would and you know what I'd say I'd say you know who else served cunt
[00:34:57] Eleanor Rose's bill Shakespeare. Yeah, they're like what mr. Friedland. What are you talking about right? What what the fuck is mad?
[00:35:16] Not no shit sell drugs and break dance, right?
[00:35:21] You got to turn your life around they're like all right fine
[00:35:25] Okay, thank you guy. I can't relate to in any way at all. He's from a completely different socioeconomic background
[00:35:31] That's not true because I have a dangerous mind to you're also African American and I'm also from Africa
[00:35:47] Guess she's been trying to contact him. No, he's great girl, and he's like just
[00:35:52] Hidden he's like I can't do it. I'm ugly. What's his cock look like? They don't show the cock. They don't show
[00:35:58] I don't show does he have burns anywhere else on his body good questions off. They don't show the cock
[00:36:03] But does he is the rest of his body fucked up like can we assume his cock is burned?
[00:36:07] I I assume maybe he has a limp and a cane. I haven't seen the movie in some time. Oh, I like that
[00:36:12] Dude, I wish I had a little game. That would be cool. Anyway, so you have to call me the governor
[00:36:24] Doin governor you know, this is another day in slavery paradise
[00:36:30] Anyway, just another day in the beautiful paradise of our system. We figured out where we don't do shit
[00:36:39] Except put up we had the because we don't work and we suffer from the spiritual consequences of that
[00:36:45] We invented incredibly uncomfortable closed away. I feel like we're doing some kind of right we're paying for it some way
[00:36:52] Yeah, although we'll live in suit on our nice day with a mint jule upon your big porch. Yeah
[00:36:57] Seems pretty nice. That's not it. I'm not condoning that lifestyle. Oh, I don't know you're injury. I'm just drunk
[00:37:27] Anyway, so he now will help myself to one of the preteens of tens of my cotton
[00:37:47] I'll read the parts that say homosic chat at his bed
[00:37:51] I mean, there's a lot of like guidelines for having a slave in the Bible. That's true
[00:37:57] Yeah, and how the slave can technically buy their freedom
[00:38:01] Through some sort of financial we're not gonna read that part. We're just gonna say when God wrote the Bible
[00:38:10] The cotton industry technological advances that found and father didn't have a mug
[00:38:18] Damn, you know, I wouldn't he really fucked the money up by inventing that shit, huh?
[00:38:25] Anyway, it's up. Yeah. Yeah, let's get back. So he's been like hold up in his apartment. It's fucking depressed
[00:38:31] She's been trying to hit him up. He has been returning and never calls Wow
[00:38:34] So then he finally musters up the courage he he hits her up and he meets her out like a bar, you know
[00:38:41] Oh, he goes out. He goes out fine with his mask. He's wearing the mask
[00:38:46] And then she's like why are you wearing like she's like, I don't care
[00:38:56] Yeah, he talks like himself, but you could tell he's been a little unhinged and crazy. Oh, he's crazy
[00:39:02] Yeah, the Cameron Diaz's spirit going to his bar. No, he's just like fuck cuz he's he can you imagine?
[00:39:07] But overnight you're not hot anymore. I couldn't imagine I'd kill myself personally
[00:39:14] Anyway, so he's like out with her and he cut he causes a scene and he takes the mask off
[00:39:20] He like fucks it up, you know, he's been missing this girl and he completely blows it and he goes back home and shame
[00:39:27] And his face how fucked up is face are we looking he I'll find a pick he looks ugly, okay?
[00:39:39] Look it up Tom. I'll look it up. You keep telling the story look it up
[00:39:46] So he's like fuck he fuck he fucking ruined it. He's ugly the love of his life
[00:39:55] Mm-hmm. How about movie called the glove of his life because it's about a pitcher. Oh, dude. He's not that fucked up. That's crazy
[00:40:05] Yeah, I would love I would love to look that's a sick look I thought you meant he had like, you know
[00:40:10] This license knows off. He had fucking eight degree burn. Yeah, I guess he could be looks fine
[00:40:15] Yeah, but I guess it's his pride. It's his pride
[00:40:19] And he's working stupid man a movie called straight how
[00:40:26] But the poster is is Jack Black walking with Cameron Diaz and then the shadow it casts on the wall
[00:40:32] It's a big man with it. Yeah, be the big
[00:40:37] The dicks incredibly hard Jack Black's like I'm not freaking gay
[00:40:52] So what does he think he's doing when he's sucking cock his memories you think he's eating pussy? Yeah
[00:41:07] The glove of his life we didn't really get into yeah, should we
[00:41:12] We'll save that one for the end a little cherry on the top of this beautiful episode on a
[00:41:17] horrible day in the markets the tech sell off the deep ins right
[00:41:23] And videos up though test has a lot of percent what does Tesla do him? I'm fucking confused Tesla does fucking nothing
[00:41:31] They do nothing. I really don't think it's gonna be a company in ten years
[00:41:34] They even it's a hard to get recalled and blow up. It's a meme stock
[00:41:40] Then he's got that gas tunnel with the fuck is all these guys that Tesla's
[00:41:44] Tesla's overvalued because people like well, it's a tech stock. It's not a car company, but it's like
[00:41:49] That doesn't mean anything right saying yeah, I think the batteries are actually what they're investing in
[00:41:55] Anybody some Duracell's right the fuck now anyway gets a call from his doctor
[00:42:00] And he's and doctors like guess what I am
[00:42:05] There is there is a way there is there's an experimental procedure we use pussy stem
[00:42:11] So we know it's gonna push his skin on your face could be it you could be hot again
[00:42:15] You know he's not even if he's rich as fuck. He's not even that ugly
[00:42:20] This what happens you the rich the hot are fucking too fragile, but go ahead
[00:42:25] Oof man these forts are brutal today anyway, so he oh Jesus Christ
[00:42:35] I'm sorry. Oh my it ain't getting better folks. Oh
[00:42:38] Oh, maybe I have to get on the chair for the next episode. We can I'm happy to give you the throne anyway, so
[00:42:46] So has the surgery it works. Oh really? Yeah, he tracks down. Penelope Cruz, and he's like I'm fucking sorry
[00:42:53] I'm sexy now. I'm sorry, and I'm like I
[00:42:56] Fomped out because I'd be like but you know what when you were ugly you acted all fucked up
[00:43:01] I don't even want your sexy ass anymore. Is that what she does? No, she's like what she's hurt
[00:43:07] But then fuck her she's hurt, but then she she lets him back into her heart. She's a good Christian, okay, and then
[00:43:17] Start a relationship. They have a beautiful life together
[00:43:25] There's all these signs that keep coming up that make things feel a little bit weird
[00:43:40] And then and then can I tell you the ending he's been in fucking fucking 3d fucking
[00:43:47] goggles on the whole time he pays for a service where instead of dying you can buy
[00:43:56] Ideal reality for the rest of your life. Holy shit
[00:43:59] So he finds out that his ideal was to be with her and to not end to be a piece of acid in
[00:44:09] So he doesn't actually get her he's an ugly motherfucker with gets her is an ugly motherfucker with augmented reality goggles on
[00:44:16] Well, it's like I don't know something in his brain or whatever, but it is future
[00:44:20] It is like the movie does have a futuristic aspect
[00:44:23] It's real is real cozy in here know the light color. I like it. Yeah. I love it
[00:44:28] I love the winner. So where's Penelope cruising shit?
[00:44:32] She just goes on living her life, you know after that night when he like takes the mask off and acts like an asshole
[00:44:37] So the experimental surgery was just no that was he that was just a figment of his it was all part of
[00:44:48] Thing the whole movies been him paying for it. No, no everything up until the experimental
[00:44:54] This format of the show is Adam explaining very popular movies from 20 years ago. I've established that that 90% of the audiences
[00:45:02] You know, it's honestly you do a lot more work than you used to yeah. Thank you. I do no work now. Yeah
[00:45:11] Really not do much you got it. You got everything. Yeah. I used to be like alright
[00:45:22] Now it's like you know, it's like so anyways, so like Jack draws her and then they have sex in a car and I'm like fucking
[00:45:31] I bet you I was your favorite guy Titanic was too popular. Well, that was a good that was a good bit
[00:45:36] We needed a little something so there's a park there's a park and it's like stop like wait a second
[00:45:42] You're telling me this park is Jurassic. Oh, no, that's too big a movie
[00:45:47] Vanilla skies and that left so it's not a park anymore. It's a whole world
[00:45:51] It's a fucking world. They know the nose guys also a remake of a Spanish movie called Aubrey Los Ojos and
[00:45:58] I'm not a man. I'm ready. I saw hoping your eyes
[00:46:01] It's just but remake of a Spanish movie
[00:46:07] That'll be cruise plays the same Eric who's a new Taco Bell you see your
[00:46:13] These say we could also I don't know if you see your tits
[00:46:26] There's no other way to put it the movie sucks
[00:46:29] Wow, we wasted everybody's fucking time
[00:46:41] Absolutely bullshit sky more like fucking bullshit sky
[00:46:47] I don't want to watch this vanilla sky even mean dude it is it was sky. What is that like a fucking?
[00:46:53] It sounds delicious. It's a fucking sky made out of vanilla. It is a painting what the fuck is what the fuck is this guy?
[00:47:01] Paincy he likes there's what the fuck is a paint what Cameron Diaz says Cameron Diaz
[00:47:06] What this is just two names she says right before the car crash. Why does she have a name like shaman?
[00:47:19] Cameron Diaz ladies we Cameron the bounty no, it's just bounty charm. You just be snuggle snuggle
[00:47:25] This is happiness what the fuck is happiness
[00:47:36] Why did you tell Brian that I was your fuck buddy? Oh, yeah
[00:47:47] When did you stop caring David your fuck buddy about the consequences of the promises that you've made
[00:47:57] Promises yeah the promises. We'll promise that you make to this bitch
[00:48:04] What are you talking about do you understand how hard it is to pretend to be your buddy David I love you
[00:48:32] Yeah, I'm fucking horny now. I mean dude
[00:48:55] Why is he why is she driving let's go to your house? I want to see your penis
[00:48:59] This is the big line, okay, I thought I swallowed your cum four times
[00:49:08] Your body makes a promise whether you do or not
[00:49:11] Tell me something David, do you believe in God?
[00:49:42] Don't you know that when you sleep with someone your body makes a promise she already said that that's her life
[00:49:48] That's her big swallow. I swallow your cum is a much better. I swallowed your cum
[00:49:52] Dude that is recent also. She's driving. I forgot because they wrestled for the wheel
[00:49:57] We got that they wrestled for the wheel. I remember that we understood that part. We've all seen total
[00:50:01] Why is she driving? I thought he gave her a ride. I guess she's giving him a ride folks
[00:50:07] To get out of it in order to get out of it. He's like I love you. I love you. Yeah, yeah
[00:50:11] Let's change the pace real quick. When is aliens coming out on 4k blue right? That's a great question now on Fradland 30 seconds
[00:50:23] I agree Adam is a faggot, but having said that I think it is coming out next week the economies and shambles
[00:50:35] Down a hundred and thirty billion dollars in market cap
[00:50:40] Who's penis do I got a suck to get my fucking aetherium back?
[00:50:46] I'm my reports Ray Shockey 30 seconds my reports are saying that you have to suck
[00:50:54] What the fuck is that guy's name mad money?
[00:50:57] Jim Kramer Jim Kramer you sound like a retard and your opinions are even worse
[00:51:03] Thanks, I don't know. He sounds like a like a filiac center. Oh, does he whoa? This is not the same age
[00:51:10] I don't know what's going on tips on both these wars right here on yeah on market sell off right now
[00:51:17] What you got to do is buy Netflix. They've had the worst subscriber growth rate
[00:51:23] In the last four years and now is the time to buy it
[00:51:34] Who would you pick? I'm going I'm Jim Kramer and I belong in a bowling alley with a sympathy job
[00:51:39] Where I just count the pins he's rich though, right? And I get it wrong every time
[00:51:46] Dude, my my hot girl bring the hot girl. That was a hot girl
[00:51:49] No, I like the other one my boy is a big
[00:51:51] Bill's fan and his friend from high school was like was really good at math and now he's just a hedge fund
[00:51:57] Whatever and he got the PJ for the for the crew the last Wow to Kansas City yesterday, and I just can't imagine
[00:52:08] How painful it was I texted at the very end like after that second Josh Allen touchdown
[00:52:13] I said I was like bro. I love you. I'm so happy
[00:52:16] You were too quick like and I feel so bad dick pills. Do they work or not David penis 30 seconds?
[00:52:23] Yes, it does the dick pills actually work quite a bit
[00:52:27] You have to make sure to take twice or three times the amount they say you have common a lecture. Would you fuck me?
[00:52:33] Oh, she's not here. She's dead. She's not she's dead
[00:52:41] Coming up on the McLaughlin group the N word we all take turn say
[00:52:49] Unoffensive slur a blown way out of proportion
[00:52:59] That's it all right Peter. Where is the hot girl who looks kind of like I don't know Filipino or something Netflix
[00:53:05] What the fuck is this blockbuster for handicapped people?
[00:53:12] Why is Netflix crashing let's become a money podcast because they the fuck is this guy?
[00:53:18] We're all the hot bitches that dude. Why are they showing old guys in their homes with bad lighting?
[00:53:23] Trans people what are they doing getting the penises cut off Megan?
[00:53:30] How do the pussy's from out of the pussy the penis pussy's field is there a possibility to use the penises as fuel for these does look
[00:53:40] They should be reinvested in the economy the Morris Mark
[00:53:44] Market mark asset management CEO market asset management CEO. We got to go walls
[00:53:50] That's a fake job return to the Mac that guy's probably got so much wild pussy mark
[00:53:56] Dude, I missed the strip club last night. You didn't go to the strippy. No, they all left up today
[00:54:02] I came back so I could do the show and that's why you're a fucking G. Dude
[00:54:09] Had a lot of fun at Larry Larry Flint's hustler club on Bob and Street on Bob
[00:54:15] And pussy does it still feel good Larry Flint? It hasn't felt good years
[00:54:22] His dick that guy was in a fucked up state at the end of his life, huh?
[00:54:25] He's there's an assassination attack to the wheelchair. Wow. Yeah, that's fucked up
[00:54:32] John Lennon assassinated what if he was ass eaten?
[00:54:36] What if the fucking question John Hinckley, Jr. Would you have killed?
[00:54:41] Would you have killed? What's his fucking name? Reagan? No, the guy I was just saying John Kelly John Legend
[00:54:49] John Legend shot the death outside of the Dakota by John Hinckley, Jr. We have John here to describe why he did it. Mm-hmm
[00:54:57] Was outside of Dakota. Yeah, yeah, my go to therapy over there. I always I always thought that way that was a cool
[00:55:04] Rosemary's baby up for West Side, man. Should I should I fucking live in the Dakota? Mm-hmm
[00:55:10] Rosemary's baby one of the movie was called Rosemary's penis
[00:55:18] Trans girls named Rosemary that seems like a trans girls name hosemary rosemary. Yeah, cuz it's like weird because it's it's like Mary
[00:55:28] Oh, I see I see hoesmary let's see what else fidelity national down 2.49 Southern Co 1.4 down
[00:55:41] The end is up against the dollar and the euro one of the Chinese up to
[00:55:47] Medtronic is down four points in Vesco. Well, actually they're they're Japanese shot off fuck off
[00:55:53] What the hell is the difference Sandra? Oh one second
[00:56:01] Fuck you saying oh world pool is up 1.73 these are the kind of companies we do cruising
[00:56:08] Can you stick your dick in the jet or no? Can you get your dick hard in the jet dr. Hives 30 seconds?
[00:56:19] Mmm a world pool. Yeah, you just said world pool guys. We got it
[00:56:24] Always gonna need jacuzzis apples down four people are not gonna need phones. They're not gonna be phones
[00:56:33] This is the first time I've ever watched the fucking show about the markets. Yeah
[00:56:38] It's nice to just have on it's best to have on a little TV in your kitchen
[00:56:42] Yeah, the mom they do why you do food prep. Yep smoking a cigarette doing food prep for the week
[00:56:53] Is this was a channel CNBC it is yeah? I prefer anywhere. I prefer Fox business channel personally
[00:57:02] Really? Yeah, why how about the Fox Big Bitch channel?
[00:57:10] The halo top ice cream bitch would you fucker? Yes resounding yes, uh, yeah, absolutely Tony blankly
[00:57:18] She might be fat, but she was still hot
[00:57:22] How do you think the bitch will who is very cute in the face? How do you think that big bitch got that job?
[00:57:27] She's my favorite part about the plus size women modeling is that there is they're all gorgeous. They change it's never a fat
[00:57:34] And you still have to be pretty it's like
[00:57:38] It's like no those women were doing fine before yeah
[00:57:43] But you know whatever now they all died of covid did they co-morbidities. Yeah, they had at least four each
[00:57:54] If covid started taking hot fat girls dude, then I would be I would be all for locking us up like australia
[00:58:03] No more fat hot bitches. It is very funny that australia did lock that like hard lockdowns for years and then she's taking
[00:58:09] Oh macron shit hits and they can't doesn't do anything. It doesn't stop it now. They're all getting covid are they?
[00:58:15] Yeah, it's like you know, you could have been riding around kangaroos. You could have been fucking yep
[00:58:22] You could have been you could have been with the s&m guys in the desert doing a race for oil. That's right water
[00:58:30] Should I watch fury road this you probably should we should watch all of his movies happy feet
[00:58:35] Oh, that's right. He did happy feet. Oh babe too
[00:58:38] Really? Yeah, that's sick the first three
[00:58:42] Thunderdome babe two is what I call my nuts
[00:58:47] Why would you call it? Oh, I guess so but one of the nuts is babe two the other one is babe one
[00:58:52] They're both babes two babes the left nut is the pig in the city
[00:59:07] The episode is over at him. It's too late to get plugs in
[00:59:11] Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you blew it. Sorry. Well, you have 45 seconds exactly. What date is it? I don't know
[00:59:26] February and the following weekend I was in Boston
[00:59:32] Follow the space can Ella be Cruz breasts does she show them?
[00:59:39] I don't know anyway, so it's the glove of his life. Oh, yeah, let's see you promise the
[00:59:46] And uh he gets a different glove his glove is ruined then he's bad at pitching
[00:59:53] He like finds the original glove and he's still bad at pitching and then
[00:59:57] He can't figure out what it is and then he remembers that he used to fuck the glove
[01:00:02] I have sex. Oh, he's an object sexual damn. She's fucking awesome. Holy shit. She's the hottest
[01:00:10] Goddamn dude. I like that hurt the other ponella people. Oh, what the fuck what movies this?
[01:00:17] I'm gonna import him got to suck on her tits. You just you just got folks at home
[01:00:21] You got to look it up and you can find out more about
[01:00:24] I got a reboot vicky christina Barcelona dude