Cum Town | Premium | 04/11/2022
[00:00:03] Guys welcome to come town you've got another dark alliance episode you've asked for it and we're giving it to you
[00:00:10] Stavros Stavros. He's at the he had severe complications. He had he was getting they them surgery. Yeah
[00:00:18] Which is technically they don't have to put you under it's not a full anesthesia, but
[00:00:25] Basically, they just give you a septum piercing and thumbnail polish. Yeah, I
[00:00:31] Sure said on the show before but about like a big bitch and her pronouns are whoa now
[00:00:50] His big drama show McCarthy apprised me to it and I don't even know who these people are but what's the drama?
[00:00:56] I don't know just some like Twitter communist account. Mm-hmm some some guy
[00:01:02] Some guy is just some you know, I honestly I feel bad for them sometimes I imagine my life
[00:01:08] You know, I guess it's because if you're you're you're kind of like a fat loser in
[00:01:12] Middle school. Yeah, that's just you know, you're always like, you know, isn't that what you identify?
[00:01:19] I sure it's almost like a near death experience
[00:01:21] Yeah, you know because if you get out of that you're like fuck the fucking that saw just almost had yeah
[00:01:28] I almost died like final test to be yeah, basically
[00:01:31] literally that's what it feels like is like
[00:01:34] So you see these like fat and I don't think I would end up probably would have just turned into like a
[00:01:38] full-time internet hater kind of fascist guy
[00:01:46] You know, maybe somebody with survivors guilt if you could even call it that but yeah
[00:01:51] Like if you're one of those fat loser guys, it was your Auschwitz being fat
[00:01:55] Well, not really Auschwitz, but it's like now see because the flip side is that I just like be Kate like I was like
[00:02:01] Oh, it's just be funny. Yeah, you know, yeah, and
[00:02:04] And and I probably could have done I probably would have just turned into stop if anyway, but
[00:02:11] You know, like if you let's say you're not funny
[00:02:14] You're just a big fat guy that gets no attention or whatever and not smart and not like the woke stuff starts
[00:02:20] Ranching and then like those guys fell into the trap of being like yeah
[00:02:25] Assholes to guys are assholes to women. Uh-huh, you know like the classic like yeah nice guy trying to let me get in the yeah
[00:02:32] Yeah, let me sneak in through the bakeries. Yeah, I don't blame them. Yeah through the kitchen door. It doesn't work
[00:02:37] I mean, I was gonna write it doesn't work. It never works
[00:02:40] But yeah, that's a move. Yeah, maybe if I'm maybe if I'm delivering the croissants in the morning to the service entrance
[00:02:50] With a full of intimants. Oh my god men are trash. Yeah, really? I mean, it's fucking pathetic and then it's also too
[00:02:56] It's like on like a visceral level women respond to it by being like, you know
[00:03:00] Oh, I would now I would never fuck I was nothing tries to push me up exactly men are trash. Yeah from a fact
[00:03:07] I was tipped. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know this guy
[00:03:10] Yeah, it's just got like years of just being like I don't know Sean sent one of them
[00:03:15] He's got a tweet from literally a year ago. That's like I never understood the whole like in cell thing of
[00:03:33] Here it is. Okay. Yeah, so this guy. Yeah, because they this is your go
[00:03:38] I've been seeing on the TL lately that a certain group of people honestly believe that we are entitled to sex
[00:03:44] It's been more than seven years since I've been with someone and at no point have ever felt that way
[00:03:49] Boggles my mind how anyone could think like that
[00:03:51] So that's what he's waiting and then this is a little poor guy
[00:03:55] I guess this is from like his they them roommate or whatever and
[00:04:05] It's like a halfway home, but for yeah for losers that are addicted to gender and peanut M&M
[00:04:13] This one says I really do not want to go into detail, but we have had this guys. I don't want to dox him
[00:04:20] Yeah, sure even though I've read his tweet word for word
[00:04:23] Yeah, it's two seconds, but because I but we have had so-and-so
[00:04:27] Arrested for trying to sexually assault my roommate and I please block accordingly
[00:04:33] Eventually we will explain what happened, but I'm very tired and I don't want to right now
[00:04:36] And then let me just look at the timestamp on that tweet the I don't want to go into detail. That was 1130 a.m. And then
[00:04:44] This is from 1133 a.m. So this is three minutes later after saying I don't want to go into detail
[00:04:50] He is an incel he literally stomped around the house threw himself on decandy and ice screaming about how we should be he should be able to fuck us
[00:04:57] He waited until we were alone. We had to hide in our own house
[00:05:02] Candy yeah, so I guess that guy's in jail now. Oh
[00:05:06] Look at us for every year. We let him into our home
[00:05:08] We thought of him like a brother and he fucking tricked us and waited like a goddamn snake in the grass
[00:05:13] For us to lower his head dark and then literally throw himself on us
[00:05:23] First of all what the fuck is second of all you okay?
[00:05:26] First of all you okay, so you know just a lot of those can I see a picture of these people?
[00:05:32] Yeah, but the funniest sorry and I got to find it again, but there was one one reply that just
[00:05:47] Just wouldn't because had a bad feeling about this creep for a while
[00:05:50] But mostly it wasn't much more than that. I'm sad to say I'm very unsurprised by this though. Why are men
[00:05:58] And then we'll just we'll take a look at this the profile picture
[00:06:11] And then it's just fucking Craig from Malcolm in the middle. Oh my god. Yeah
[00:06:15] That is that's perfect. Why yeah, I know this is this is like one of their other tweets Fiona. Yeah. Oh
[00:06:40] Mean exact why if you look like that why have green lights in your house you come on
[00:06:47] Yeah, you walked into that. Yeah tits first
[00:06:55] Why are men why are men well actually I kind of respect that whole thing
[00:06:59] I was saying the other day and this is gonna get me in trouble
[00:07:02] Okay, why is it that the most trans people uh-huh?
[00:07:06] I put the least effort into looking like women
[00:07:08] It depends well this one well, yeah, it depends what kind
[00:07:15] Mm-hmm cuz some of them look even better than women
[00:07:18] Yeah, but those some of them like put way more effort than any woman
[00:07:22] Yeah, but those are just party monsters some of them are like
[00:07:25] More perfect women than any woman right but I feel like those aren't the types that are online doing this
[00:07:32] No, there's those types. They're different kinds. There's nuance. Yeah those are those ones
[00:07:37] They look better the best aren't fucking like replying the JK Rowling all day long. No, of course
[00:07:48] Yeah, those people are just doing it to find friends really right because they don't have any friends. Yeah, right and they like using the computer
[00:07:57] He threw himself on the candy and I now to be fair
[00:08:01] Can you really fault a big fat guy for trying to fuck someone named candy?
[00:08:08] Can you blame him that is a honey pot operation to get it literally
[00:08:15] Literally, it's a pot full of honey. Uh-huh that he has to live with going back to the this is the guy by the way going back to the oh
[00:08:21] My god, yeah, is that BB? I mean it might as well be Jesus Christ. Yeah
[00:08:28] How do people let them get out of it let themselves go that oh my god
[00:08:38] It is sad though because it's like there was like there was no place for these people in society
[00:08:42] And then we made a place and that place is so much worse than like the ether
[00:08:49] They're like yeah, there's finally I finally wait for you to feel your humanity and it's just a trick
[00:08:54] It's just a cruel trick. It's sad where they end up worse off than they would have been if they were just fucking ignored
[00:09:03] going back to the the ones that like uh
[00:09:09] Like a perfect femininity. It's kind of like the University of Pennsylvania swimmer
[00:09:15] It's kind of like that Thomas. Yeah, it's kind of like that a man could
[00:09:19] Be a woman even better than a woman could score another one for us. Mm-hmm. You know
[00:09:31] No, but like that it's it is sad because people those people that were taught you're referencing are just
[00:09:41] And there are people that have never had friends ever. Yeah, no this I mean
[00:09:46] This guy's tweets and this is these are just this is just it's so sad
[00:09:53] You know, yeah, I'm so fucking tired of shitty men
[00:09:57] They really don't understand the damage they do selfish pieces of shit. That was two days before the rape accusation. Oh my god
[00:10:09] But you know the other thing I admire about this an atheist the concept of hell bothers me
[00:10:14] But I would happily rot in hell for eating pork or wearing clothes with two different fabrics if it meant sex predators
[00:10:26] And imagine did you have to do this publicly every day because you're waking up in your like brain is like rape the
[00:10:37] Me hungry for candy get that you know probably sent him off is making the green M&M sexy
[00:10:41] It's true. They took the green M&M away from him and he lost it. Yeah, he lost it
[00:10:47] He does like that's the one thing I was the one thing I had and I can't be vocal about it because people call me a fascist
[00:10:55] It's true that they unsexified the green M&M
[00:10:58] What's nice about this these people is that they're using the internet in the right way
[00:11:04] Which is the internet from 10 years ago?
[00:11:05] Which is that you call out people from your real life?
[00:11:09] You know you air out your dirty laundry in public. Yeah as opposed to just like
[00:11:15] Tweeting constantly about like a tucker like some famous people
[00:11:20] What I want to know because I want to go to prison. I want to give this guy the benefit of it out
[00:11:24] Yeah, to be fair he did commit these acts he's in jail five days ago. Yeah, is there a chance it was probably the
[00:11:37] Mean cuz I can't think of anything funnier than to be like an online
[00:11:49] You know instead of saran wrap over the toilet seat
[00:11:52] You're committing a double rape at 11 30 o'clock
[00:11:57] Yeah, those aren't raping hours. Yeah, they're not they're not raping hours. Yeah, that's how you know. It's a prank
[00:12:04] The only crime in it exists if there's pistols at dawn
[00:12:08] But there's never give me put me two pussies now
[00:12:17] Give me to they then pussies and high noon. You can't yeah. Yeah, that's that's that's really where the prank falls apart
[00:12:28] Hi noon rather than just noon. What's it's that the Sun is at the highest point in the sky?
[00:12:35] And so that doesn't always fall kind of redundant. It doesn't always fall on exact noon. I have no idea dude
[00:12:45] Yeah, so you tweet feeling worthless reply you aren't hanging there and then the third reply
[00:12:51] They are actually they attempted to rape their roommates
[00:12:54] Damn these and then yeah, just how vindictive and punitive these like communities are yeah
[00:13:02] People are playing good. You are worthless. Oh
[00:13:14] Those people will also truly never be happy to of course not and it's honestly
[00:13:18] It's not their fault because this is I think this is in like West Virginia. This is just oh god, you know
[00:13:28] Guess like the version of that like from 25 or 30 years ago was like being
[00:13:35] Like a West Memphis three kind of person being like a wickin, right? Yeah. Oh
[00:13:41] My god actually I forgot to tell you I'll tell you after you didn't record. No, we did record
[00:13:45] There's something I got to tell you about off Mike. Oh, what it's wild
[00:13:51] It's fucking wild. Well, you're being really rude to our friends that are listening right now
[00:13:55] They would love to hear it, but no tell me off Mike. Yeah, I'll tell you know Nikki and Addie need our little secrets
[00:14:08] Stavros is is stuck in transit right now literally stuck
[00:14:12] Mm-hmm. He was they were trying to get him through a plain door baggage kerosene. He has to ride cargo now
[00:14:21] Yeah, they put it they trank him like a like a dog and they put him in a crate
[00:14:26] We should get him a little baby service hippo
[00:14:29] Like a little hip like a just walk around to the air
[00:14:33] Hippo that's so adorable. Yeah. Yeah, sir. Imagine right service animal hippos are really mean, right? They are
[00:14:40] Not the best little baby hippo with a sickle and hammer on its side a little communist hippo. Yeah, that'd be cute
[00:14:51] Oh for our friends listening at home the mice are back in my apartment. I just got a text from my landlord about it
[00:15:02] What else is this is so sad dude, there's this is still this same guy
[00:15:06] There is a cat in heat roaming around this house, and I feel like telling her I know how you feel
[00:15:11] But could you please keep it down? I'm trying to work here
[00:15:14] God these people's lives are a fucking mess
[00:15:27] It's just like it makes me want to kill I really just I genuinely look
[00:15:33] I'm a bad guy, right and I love it a lot of people that don't deserve it
[00:15:37] So if I if I'm at the point where I like I'm feeling empathetic for towards somebody you really got to be
[00:15:46] Yeah, you know your friend has your back when they are willing to write your bio on your dating website profiles for you
[00:15:52] Do you like getting lost on long drives?
[00:15:55] Binging TV shows and overthrowing the government well look no further
[00:16:00] Just a big teddy bear looking for a long-term partner the family and possibly open the poly
[00:16:06] Recently moved across the country to better my life
[00:16:10] Deep combos flirting and cuddles help heal my soul
[00:16:14] Dirty commie and computer nerd at heart. Are you the other P to my pod? Oh?
[00:16:22] What is that man? I have no idea well two P's in a pod. Yeah sure, but he's the pod I
[00:16:27] Mean I think he's he's asking if you're another P
[00:16:32] Sitting in the pod with him. Are you the other P in my pod in my pod? Yeah
[00:16:39] Dirty commie. Oh my god. It's so sad. Yeah people are just so lonely. Yeah dirty commie and computer nerd at heart
[00:16:51] Now I'm just friend wrote that for him. Yeah, that's nice
[00:16:58] God damn it, but you know, it's like a friend from
[00:17:02] It's no a friend from a discord server. Yeah, I'm from from a yeah. Yeah, this is my friend star star Laxia
[00:17:09] This is my friend snore Laxia. It's no relax. It's my friend snore Laxia. Well, we've been friends for years. Yeah
[00:17:16] No, we've never met I've never seen for a while
[00:17:19] Like I thought I knew what they look like but they were pretending to be somebody else
[00:17:22] So then but we got over there was like a whole catfishing drama on the discord, but now we're good friends again
[00:17:27] Yeah, they're put they're using they're using someone else's a slightly less fatter person
[00:17:38] Humble catfish. Yeah, I'm just a soft boy looking for his person to spoil and cuddle. I
[00:17:44] Miss horny Twitter. God damn I miss horny Twitter. Yeah, it's an unjust. What was that?
[00:17:53] It's an unjust world that this is where you can end up as a human being
[00:17:57] It really I mean it really I don't want to like it's wild to the I don't want to get to like that the problem is solely
[00:18:12] Yeah, and it's just like they got a boiler down to all wealth we had communism what then you'd be getting pussy
[00:18:23] The that's how would work is they all well capital created ideals of beauty or whatever like yeah that that didn't exist at all
[00:18:30] Undercom well, that's what that's on rant thought that too. They what?
[00:18:35] she she was like that that traditional beauty was a
[00:18:39] Was like a social construct it was actually intellectual beauty so she was like it
[00:18:45] She was like making all her like completely incorrect grad student like 100% wrong like I'm wrong or she's wrong
[00:18:53] Yeah, no like she's making like what's his name the guy that was head of the Fed?
[00:18:59] Greenspan he was like one of her like grad student like cult guys
[00:19:03] And she was just getting her pussy eaten by all those boys because she was like actually it's it's brain hotness not
[00:19:10] Tits hotness. Yeah good for her. Yeah sure. Oh
[00:19:18] My god, I just want to honestly ask my moods if any of you find me attractive. I need some validation today. Oh
[00:19:33] Man I feel so bad for this guy and he's in
[00:19:39] This is worse than being like homeless. There's worse than being like homeless now because you we've seen it homeless guys fuck
[00:19:48] They get pussy was I was with you I was like why like we're by the pool
[00:19:52] They're like canoodling and they're fucking like you know a copy of like fucking the New York daily news
[00:19:57] I think we were like I was walking my dog and I think I was with you
[00:20:01] But every time you see it like a torn condom wrapper on the street. It's always a magnum. Yeah, I said that to you
[00:20:08] Yeah, but it's just like these homeless guys with their big-ass dicks are getting in
[00:20:15] Safely to safely yeah, why you're wrapping it up with our huge cocks
[00:20:23] Well, it's not that difficult. You just got to put the sponge on the end of a stick
[00:20:26] You know is it really that difficult God these people also like these people like are fully incapable of wiping their own
[00:20:37] Yeah, oh my god. He posted a picture of his computer desk here
[00:20:45] And but there's a full-sized fan on the desk
[00:20:49] He's a big a box man like a full a giant fan
[00:21:00] She heard there to come a pan thick weirdo mountain mama just trying to survive capitalism
[00:21:08] Well, I really want I really just want I part of the reason I would like if there was a communist revolution
[00:21:15] Yeah, you know, we're like we're gonna over we're gonna overthrow the government. Yeah, and
[00:21:19] We're gonna like I just want to let these people
[00:21:25] Have full control of the shit let them cook let them fucking let them do it let them do it
[00:21:33] Just to just to be like okay got out your system everything's it's that everyone's dead
[00:21:39] It completely failed in three hours. Yeah, like all like our entire like national agricultural system is completely failed
[00:21:46] Right like they just couldn't handle it everything just falls apart all the crops are dead. Yeah, yeah like immediately
[00:21:53] Yeah, it's like okay, so we can just stop this now cars are crashing on the street. Yeah society's crumble
[00:22:00] It's wild because it's like I don't know nobody talks about health care anymore. Nobody. No, it's just not
[00:22:06] It's not I mean, I'm sure people do but how that didn't how like we come out of a pandemic and that is not the number one fucking
[00:22:13] conversation health crisis the public health crisis
[00:22:16] Crisis nobody trusts the only reason people don't I guarantee you if we had had universal health care
[00:22:22] Yeah, people there would be no anti-vax fucking that guy wouldn't be in jail that guy wouldn't be in jail
[00:22:30] And we just completely blew pass out I mean really it has to be like we really lost the plot kudos to the fucking CIA
[00:22:37] They killed it they did we're like really killed this guy doesn't exist
[00:22:40] These are all these tweets if you could geolocate them. It's Langley, Virginia 100% yeah, yeah, it's a Latina woman in the CIA
[00:22:47] Right, it's not even those they don't exist either. They don't exist the CIA is still all the same guy. It's still Mormon guys
[00:22:53] Yeah, they're like yeah, let's just pretend to be fucking spicy latinx
[00:23:00] Then blow right past fucking anything where the word like like you know like like the pharmaceutical
[00:23:06] Pharmaceutical industry any type of American enterprise has to give up a single fucking inch to people
[00:23:12] I mean it will will reverse engineer all of their demands so they want smoothies and cuddles
[00:23:19] But that's what the communist vanguard is demanding is is is
[00:23:24] Pan communist man mama exactly pain communist mountain mamas and maybe maybe we'll go
[00:23:30] We'll have her will share a giant tomato that we all grow over in the in the urban center of a
[00:23:55] Yeah, like they my roomies are trying to convince me it's time for my slot era
[00:24:00] Oh God, I've never been in a friends with benefit situation
[00:24:07] Now I'm starting to think that it might be preferable until I've had some time to work more on myself
[00:24:14] Oh, you know and then sad as part is is like this kind of like language is just reflected all this bullshit is like
[00:24:24] Everything you know, it's like this this isn't really some fringe freak
[00:24:28] This guy's talking like a fucking like target commercial. Yeah, he wants to Netflix and chill with his friends and benefits. Yeah
[00:24:43] fucking gamer if you're a single looking for someone who loves giving attention, please don't hesitate to hit up my D&S
[00:24:53] This is why I like fully support any kind of like genetic modification or whatever because if I were if I were if I was living this life
[00:25:00] Uh-huh. I would say look clearly there's no room for me in human society
[00:25:07] Right, it's do some kind of experiment where I breathe fire. I can't regulate the temperature of my own blood
[00:25:14] Uh-huh. I you know have to use the sun or or just make me a food
[00:25:21] No, don't make me into food. I would want to be some sort of beast
[00:25:28] They reflected, you know, how ostracized I feel like if I was like a gargoyle or whatever like a goblin of some sort
[00:25:36] You know, I'll be like of course people don't want to fuck me. I just I have my amulet and my curses
[00:25:42] You know and I'll live a thousand years in a life of fucking torment in a soggy cave somewhere
[00:25:48] I wasn't even worse to be a nerd kidnapping people's children
[00:25:52] Boiling them that'd be great. Yeah. Yeah, and then what you can hair rising a town. You send the police to arrest me
[00:25:58] Yeah, good luck. Good. Put the handcuffs on and then there's like a
[00:26:02] High-pitched jingling noise and I dissipate into the type of smoke or whatever that rock seep into the lungs of the officers and
[00:26:10] The town sends out a posse with pitchforks, right? Exactly. Yeah, they've had enough of me and then guess what?
[00:26:16] They're all in the cave and they get closer and closer and it's just a smoke and mirrors projection of me
[00:26:21] Guess who's now made his way into the town where the children are unprotected
[00:26:26] And I classic guess who's making kids soup classic guess who's a in the town square? He's got a big
[00:26:32] A big vat that I'm boiling all of the children the town's children in wow they really walked into that one those fucking idiots
[00:26:42] Undefended why don't you make that shot dr. Fauci why don't you make the shot that turns me into that?
[00:26:47] Yeah, try to do something for these poor guys
[00:26:50] He's sort of a goblin himself now. They have to go to fucking jail for being a nerd right?
[00:26:55] I mean, that's essentially what dr. Fauci is
[00:26:58] That's true. He was like I'm I'm a gay. I like basketball, but I'm too small
[00:27:04] I'm a gay guy that kills dogs. I don't I'm not good enough at basketball. So I'm gonna work for
[00:27:12] NIH which at the time when I joined was just an extension of the military
[00:27:18] Yeah, and create this experiment with dangerous potions. Yeah, just like the mangalow wing of the military and in 60 years from now. I'll
[00:27:28] Somehow create fucked up laws that demand
[00:27:32] Children even younger than five have to take my magic potion that boils them from the inside out
[00:27:37] And that's sort of that's the world. Yeah, that's basically
[00:27:42] What's going on? You only get the it's only for that goblin who's truly evil rather than this man that's been ostracized by society
[00:27:48] Listen Fauci made the most of being a goblin
[00:27:51] Not like these guys. They didn't pull themselves up by their bootstraps
[00:27:55] Become doctors. I just want attention and I want someone to give attention to am I a bad person for wanting that?
[00:28:04] And it's that's what so funny is because it's like I mean, I guess to like to a certain extent it is true. It was like, you know
[00:28:11] Maybe capitalism did create these kinds of people
[00:28:15] And so you like escape into this. No, it is true. So you escape into this fantasy. Well, the economy can't absorb these people
[00:28:21] Right you can't provide these people. They they have absolutely no skills to like
[00:28:27] To function within the economy. Yeah, so they have to like
[00:28:35] You know, so okay. They have this this communist alternative that they throw themselves into
[00:28:42] You know, it's like then even in that world that doesn't provide an answer
[00:28:46] Because there's nothing, you know, presumably there's nothing you don't need to overthrow capital to to figure out a way in which
[00:28:53] There's like uh, and I guess you know what to be fair
[00:28:56] Like a lot of a lot of that a lot of that is what I like there's all the pain poly freak sex nerd people are
[00:29:06] And sexuality like we'll we'll have some control over by making like disgusting fat people like in into public very public sex nerds with each other
[00:29:14] Yeah, so I'm sure a lot of them do experience like that sort of companionship that doesn't feel like
[00:29:20] You know, that's the only option left. Did I tell you when Ben was in high school in New York city?
[00:29:26] There was like a like the like the like the group of like those kids were like in a thing like called like they were in a cuddle puddle
[00:29:32] Mm-hmm. And they basically all just like it was only pretty much only kissing
[00:29:36] But it was like boys and boys boys and girls
[00:29:39] It was all like the the biggest nerds of their school
[00:29:41] Yeah, and New York magazine came and wrote an article about like the cuddle puddle
[00:29:47] And we're like the most progressive coolest kids at at you know, whatever it was stavison high school
[00:29:53] And it was like everyone else at the high school was like they were like making these kids sound like they were like the vang
[00:29:58] Like they were like at the forefront of like a new like a like whatever
[00:30:03] Because the person that wrote the article was also just one of those people
[00:30:06] Exactly, but they didn't have that but everyone in the high school was like
[00:30:09] These people are the biggest fucking losers in our high school
[00:30:14] And the newspaper came to write an article about them and they're not even doing anything. They're just like they're not fucking
[00:30:20] They're just like yeah, they're just like
[00:30:22] Like lightly groping and kissing. Yeah, like at school. Mm-hmm. Why do I feel need to cling to someone who clearly only sees me when they want something
[00:30:42] Oh jesus, I get the world is a horrible place and pregnancy is really rough
[00:30:46] But I can't help but want to hold my child for the first time
[00:30:49] I feel him. Yeah, the heart wants with the heart wants. I feel
[00:30:59] Jesus, and you know what he's not wrong West Virginia is beautiful. It is beautiful
[00:31:03] This might be the worst goddamn picture. It's such a bad picture. I've ever seen
[00:31:10] West Virginia is really beautiful. West Virginia is gorgeous
[00:31:13] Mountain mama, but that's the thing is West Virginia has an ideal beauty because if capitalism really were that powerful
[00:31:21] The poorest state would not be recognized as beautiful. Uh-huh, right
[00:31:26] You know everyone would be like kind of gaslit into thinking that the mode like San Francisco is beautiful
[00:31:32] Yeah, York is beautiful. Well, they are beautiful. No, they're not
[00:31:35] They're everyone. I don't know anyone that said that West Virginia isn't beautiful
[00:31:41] This this man is the human being version of West Virginia
[00:31:45] Giant giant fucking you know mountains and valleys
[00:31:50] Yeah, just different crevices and mounds of variegated colors. Yeah, you know all of his bed sores
[00:31:58] Like almost tracking exactly with like the the the color gradient of the seasonal changes in the trees
[00:32:05] You know, I'm sure he smells a lot like West Virginia. I'm sure you know, which I'm sure that guy smells great
[00:32:10] Yeah, like you know like burning coal, uh-huh, which might be sort of like a an off-putting smell when contextualized and sort of like a
[00:32:20] like the you know like visceral disgusting nature of like, you know
[00:32:24] These like a contoured body like this it sort of makes sense
[00:32:28] But people can't people can't see him as West Virginia
[00:32:31] People can't see the dirty commie mountain mama and actually see the mountain mama. They only see the dirty commie
[00:32:37] It's true. There's no such thing as a mountain mama. It doesn't exist. Yeah, it's john denver's fault. Right
[00:32:46] In a way if you think about it. Yeah, denver used to be denver was fine until he turned it into john denver
[00:32:53] Yeah, and then he ruined it. He had to ruin denver denver's ruined
[00:32:58] He had a ruined denver for the rest of us
[00:33:01] Now denver is a place now denver is a place people threaten to move to
[00:33:05] Yeah, when they get tired of making too much money in New York City
[00:33:10] I know they know they move to denver when I know a lot of people like make home brew
[00:33:15] I know a lot of people that's threatened to move to denver
[00:33:17] But they can't do it because it's some in some point internally it tracks his failure to them
[00:33:21] I love when people say they're moving to denver because I know it means I just never have to talk to them ever again. Yeah
[00:33:28] They can just leave and be like it's like that with portland too, honestly
[00:33:34] Love how much capacity for love I have I'm so glad I didn't let this world chew me up and spit me out
[00:33:42] Well, hey, if you mean that good for you
[00:33:46] I hope I hope you're maintaining that spirit in jail
[00:33:49] God that poor guy. Mm-hmm. This is so sad right
[00:33:54] And what do you think what do you think is going by the way guys?
[00:33:57] What do you think everyone listening what kind of we're not making fun of these people? We are empathizing we are empathizing with these
[00:34:03] We're actually being the best look. I'm empathizing to the best of my ability as someone living under a capitalist
[00:34:10] This is what capitalist empathy looks like
[00:34:14] Um, what do you what do you think he's doing in a West Virginia jail? Oh my what kind of conversations is that man having?
[00:34:21] With a guy that's in there for like tap dancing
[00:34:23] Jesus Christ, maybe he's okay because he's so unfuckable
[00:34:28] Well, I don't even mean the sexual assault. I know that I know that
[00:34:31] That's the first thing you guys think of it
[00:34:33] You think of it by the fucking the members of his commune
[00:34:37] I know what you're saying gang raped in prison would probably be like wow
[00:34:41] I finally have it. Yeah, my slut face is started. I'm finally loved
[00:34:50] It's what phase I'm thinking about entering my slut face
[00:34:57] I feel so bad for nerds. Yeah, no, it's funny because like, you know
[00:35:03] Like they have but their entire world exists in this like
[00:35:09] When I'm I'm head emptier when I'm really focused on something. I will fidget with something pen clothes pin shake my leg
[00:35:15] Is this signs of OCD? I'm genuinely curious
[00:35:18] Everything needs to be pathologized. Everything needs to be, you know
[00:35:26] Note to self don't skip a day when it comes to your depression meds yesterday sucked
[00:35:31] I feel like I'm riding super high right now. Is this what mania is
[00:35:37] Made up of someone from facebook dating. We hit it off had an amazing day. Wow
[00:35:42] I didn't even know there was a facebook dating. I want to do acid again
[00:35:48] But this is how people should be using the internet that's what like I said this before but like it should be for stuff like this
[00:35:55] it shouldn't be for like freaking out about like
[00:36:02] Is feschistic or something? I'm tired of leaning on my friends for serotonin. I'm tired of being needy and clingy
[00:36:08] I'm tired of being the person I am. I just want to be fixed already. I'm so broken
[00:36:12] I'm telling you brother. We need to turn you into a goblin
[00:36:20] You need power. Yeah, we can use some earrings. We'll paint you green. We'll give you pointy ears
[00:36:25] You know, we'll give you an amulet of some sort turn you into a real princess Fiona. Yeah
[00:36:31] No, I mean it because it really is like this
[00:36:34] I feel like the most communist people are the ones that are like truly hopeless in terms of
[00:36:44] And so like really if you just gave them some shiny gold object
[00:36:48] Some material fixation they would be fine
[00:36:51] If you could just turn them into post capitalist goblins
[00:36:54] They would have the life they want and it's maybe I mean at this point in 2022. Maybe it's cringe to say this but like
[00:37:07] Mm-hmm, but like it could have been so much simpler than your 100 right Adam if Bernie Sanders had won the election
[00:37:14] This guy would not be sitting in jail for raping
[00:37:17] That's yeah, I agree. He wouldn't he'd be thank you. No, he'd have his student loan debt forgiven
[00:37:23] Yeah, he'd have health care. He'd have PlayStation 5 for sure for sure a for sure actually probably not no yeah
[00:37:33] These people like people have gone crazy. Mm-hmm
[00:37:38] And that's why you can't care about anything ever again anymore ever
[00:37:46] The only thing you should care about is um
[00:37:50] Getting pussy. I guess that's what this guy's doing
[00:37:53] I'm like the weird kid at a party that just sits in the corner watching everyone else have a good time
[00:37:58] I feel like no matter where I am. I don't belong. That's so sad
[00:38:01] Sadest part too is like no, you're not even you don't go to the party at all
[00:38:05] You're not invited go to the party. No one told you about the party
[00:38:09] What's the point of living if you only get to see people okay? Okay?
[00:38:14] No, come on what's the point of living if you only get to see people living lives you can only fantasize about oh?
[00:38:23] It's like brother you just got to come up with fantasies that even they can't access
[00:38:33] A magical amulet, uh-huh, you know then that's the thing nerds use to have that shit
[00:38:37] You know the problem with all this stuff is the communism stuff no different than fucking star trekker dungeons and dragons right?
[00:38:44] They just lost their but their interest in magic right, but it's it's like nearly attainable
[00:38:50] That you've just given them like a piece of pussy behind glass that they get to visit
[00:38:54] You know like like they're in prison and put their hand and they can almost feel the warmth of they can talk to the pussy through
[00:39:01] A phone yeah, they can almost fucking feel the warmth of the pussy through the plexiglass
[00:39:05] But this but before it finally transfers to their palm and like they're sharing some kind of energy between themselves as close as they can
[00:39:12] Ever get the fucking the fucking the ceo comes in and says all right times times up times up
[00:39:21] 17 boyfriends and cell block B and the fucking your slum face. Yeah in the yeah, and you're sorry
[00:39:29] In the west Virginia panhandle getting railed out
[00:39:32] To the sound of to the sound of Sean Denver. Yeah, does the sound of mines collapsing
[00:39:39] A state being poisoned. Yeah, and the real victims of capitalism being crushed to death by fucking
[00:39:49] What is that that's the the show you put in the pocket of a new pair of pants it is
[00:39:58] I had the bizorbs moisture. That's why they put it. It keeps it dry to prevent mold from
[00:40:05] I'm not angry at people's happiness. I just don't see me being happy. Why do I have to one thing?
[00:40:09] Why can't I just be emotionless have no feelings at all
[00:40:14] If you were if you had lived 20 years ago, you would have discovered deep space not volcanism
[00:40:21] Yeah, I do would discover a Vulcan mentality towards life
[00:40:26] And that's the thing that's the beauty of fantasy
[00:40:29] Especially for uneducated nerds like this
[00:40:32] Is that all of these ideas that were blended upon by actual humans throughout history
[00:40:37] They think is an invention of some sort of like fantasy people
[00:40:41] Right. So like the stoicism of the Vulcans
[00:40:46] gets to be something that exists outside of like the
[00:40:49] Torturous confines of your human existence. You can't even be a regular nerd anymore. You can't
[00:40:59] I will never for this to somebody else. Let's just go through tweets today
[00:41:02] I will never forgive the people who ruined my mental health while my heart is pure now
[00:41:09] That fact I zero engagement on his tweets. He's just living isolated until he eventually rapes his roommate
[00:41:15] This is a this is a wildly attractive woman
[00:41:26] On this. I will never forgive the people who ruined my mental just like a six just not you can't even really see
[00:41:38] She looks she looks all right. She looks fine
[00:41:43] Oh, I guess she has 1.4 million followers. How?
[00:41:52] Anyways, what the fuck are we talking about this week the Batman movie? So we got this new Batman movie with uh, robert patinson. Yeah
[00:42:03] Mm-hmm. You didn't see the new Batman. Did you know it's cool. They played nirvana in it. I stayed home and read this guy's tweets
[00:42:12] Hearing uh thin nirvana unplug cd as a kid
[00:42:21] No, I don't know the first time I heard I was like this is this is this must be what it's like to be cool
[00:42:26] I'm like this is what cool people like my babysitter was into it
[00:42:35] And I wanted to I wanted to fuck her. I was a kid
[00:42:39] Really interesting story. I just shared there
[00:42:42] That's the saddest part too is like I feel like it's okay to knock a lot of the like tankies or whatever because
[00:42:50] Anybody with a fucking hammer and sickle in their their
[00:42:53] uh display name I just I write off. I don't know. I don't know
[00:42:58] I don't pay enough attention. I'm not tapped in enough anymore to know what these meaningless distinctions
[00:43:03] I really thought the boundaries would stop being a thing and not that it would have grown
[00:43:08] No, things own own fucking tumor of society. This is the only way these things end
[00:43:13] Yeah, this is like literally the only way any of these things end is you take a subculture
[00:43:18] And then it kind of bubbles up into mainstream culture
[00:43:25] Basically like archetypes or perfect examples of that subculture
[00:43:29] That rise to the top and then those things become like sort of like a touchstone
[00:43:34] And the the things that make them unique are very good at exemplifying that subculture
[00:43:40] Then dissipate through culture at large mostly through like advertising or marketing
[00:43:44] Sure in a way that makes like them hit, you know
[00:43:48] You don't even like think about it. It's like it's just sort of like that
[00:43:52] And I you know, I mean to like bring it to like comedy or whatever
[00:43:55] But like you know, you'll have like you'll have like uh like like like luisica or whatever
[00:44:00] Got very popular probably the middle of like the last decade or two decades ago
[00:44:05] And then the stylistic elements of what luisica does
[00:44:09] immediately disperse through everything every comedian rips them off then eventually every like commercial rips off like
[00:44:14] The way he speaks or the mannerism. Yeah, so the the idea like how all commercials kind of became timinarek
[00:44:21] Right. The identifiers the the resources extracted out of this one thing
[00:44:25] Yeah, or timinarek or fucking Seth Rogan's writing in like those
[00:44:30] 100 or like certain elements of like punk rock aesthetic or what you know
[00:44:34] Like any of those things they like just sort of get like dispersed. I think the classic comedy
[00:44:43] Sure, exactly. Yes, but then there's like so these guys are right
[00:44:47] Sure, but I mean it's it's beyond like just like commodification where it's just like, you know, something becomes
[00:44:54] So distributed that it's like it doesn't exist anymore. It's like it's like a bell ringing
[00:45:00] You know, uh-huh and it's never snuffed out. So there's no you can't really tell when it stops ringing eventually
[00:45:05] It's not ringing anymore, but you can't really be sure
[00:45:08] Uh, I don't care what you're saying, but this imagine a bell ringing imagine a little like a service
[00:45:13] Yeah, like ding. Yeah, you hit it. You can't really tell when it stops ringing
[00:45:18] You can't it just stops ringing. No, it's it dissipates and it fades out the same
[00:45:23] It fades out. Yeah, the signal attenuates and it's it reaches like some sort of non-zero state that you know
[00:45:36] When you know, we have a Chuck lorry sitcom where a fat tanky communist is raping his room
[00:45:41] I see what you're saying. That's now I see what you're saying
[00:45:43] That's when it ends. It doesn't end with people being like actually I don't like this stuff or there's like
[00:45:48] You know some kind of rational argument against it. It just needs to leave a bad taste in people and Sheldon rapes
[00:45:54] Uh, my ambiolis things have to become stale. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, you got to wait for yes
[00:46:00] Exactly young Sheldon to gain 400 pounds and rape
[00:46:05] Rape blossom. Yeah, rape is his roommates. Yeah
[00:46:09] I know I see what you're saying. Mm-hmm. So we gotta have to we just have to wait this out
[00:46:12] You're saying you have to wait it out. I mean, it's the same thing with this podcast
[00:46:16] It's like it should have ended a long time ago a years ago people still hate it
[00:46:19] And when you go around you see guys dress like you or whatever saying things from the show
[00:46:23] Yeah, all those things. It's like it won't end until that's everywhere
[00:46:28] You know, it's true until there's fucking like a guy named the bug
[00:46:32] Uh-huh on a renaissance or commercial right that's when it ends
[00:46:37] When you're like, what is I don't even understand. I tell you the class example the one I always use
[00:46:44] Uh-huh, they tell that cop character something. I forget what it was
[00:46:50] The cop tells them something and then Wayne Wayne goes no way and then the cop goes way. Yeah
[00:46:57] 40 years 40 when that movie came out 57 years ago that that long ago really
[00:47:04] Yeah, that was the first time they said that was the first time anyone said yes, yes way or whatever
[00:47:09] And now that's so distributed that the humor and it doesn't even yeah
[00:47:13] People forget that it's a joke. Right. You know, it's too. It's bled into the public consciousness. Right. Yeah
[00:47:21] Yeah, I think that's really smart, bro. Thanks. Hey, look. I'm just trying to kill Tom here
[00:47:25] I wish I was the first guy to come up with something like that. Yeah. Yeah, not the bell part. I think the bell parts imagine how
[00:47:33] This what you do if you're just like a like a quote-unquote intellectual or academic. You just say bullshit
[00:47:39] Just fucking ramble. The gay is dumb as shit. You just yeah, you just ramble make up bullshit
[00:47:44] You make it sound like it's universal. Right. Yeah, and it doesn't need to like it doesn't have to like there's no way to check
[00:47:54] You know again or there is and it doesn't matter right
[00:47:58] Then you just walk around Brooklyn not knowing how to drive a car
[00:48:01] Not knowing how to do your own taxes and you pretend like you're the smartest motherfucker in the world
[00:48:06] Dude, that's that's that's our lives. Yeah
[00:48:17] Yeah, I guess so it's it's fucking like and that's why the world needs comedy because that's what comedy is is you do that
[00:48:23] But then hopefully it's funny at the end. Uh-huh. Hopefully there's a punchline
[00:48:28] And now you have to worry back ahead and slap in the face by some fucking
[00:48:33] Oh, the beat button is all yeah, there you go. Oh, and that's it. That's the punch. Some actor. Yeah some
[00:48:50] See what you did there. No, I don't know what I'm doing dude. That's true
[00:48:54] I'm just I'm just uh, I'm just an old man trying to trying to find a little place for himself
[00:48:59] I don't even understand this world brother. Yeah now this other thing I was thinking about too is like, you know
[00:49:04] But when I feel real bad for not maybe this guy, but maybe some of our contemporaries
[00:49:10] Uh-huh that uh I've gotten sucked into the trap of uh permanent adolescence, which I guess everybody's falls into a certain
[00:49:16] Yeah, but the man child which by the way the only way to escape adolescence is by having a family. That's it
[00:49:23] It's not like putting on slacks. No, you're just a child dressing up as an adult
[00:49:28] Yeah, you're just you're just doing a thing
[00:49:29] And some of the signifiers of adulthood that exist within capitalism like owning a house or whatever
[00:49:35] That's all bullshit or your fucking career. That's all fake and now it's an unattainable also right really the only thing you can do
[00:49:41] It's like not I mean because you obviously you can't force yourself to have a family like if you're one of these guys
[00:49:45] But this guy's already done the work to say like I can't I can't wait to hold my child as long as you've wanted
[00:49:50] Oh, I I agree with as long as you want it then
[00:49:54] You know, you're you're crossing the necessary shift like I can't I can't have a kid because my dick doesn't get hard
[00:50:03] There's literally not a single woman in the world that thinks it would be a good idea
[00:50:11] It doesn't get they will always get abortion. Yeah, I've walked up to that line so rude. Yeah, yeah, and I tell my glare
[00:50:18] I'm like look I'll be here for you on the weekends. I'll fly fly down
[00:50:23] You know and fucking I'll like well, we'll go out the fucking ruby tuesday's you can keep your job and your friends
[00:50:29] I'll send money sometimes. I will send the fucking money. You know, I'll get him a fucking skateboard
[00:50:35] I don't know whatever is that just as long as I can come down. I can show my muscle car take him fishing take him fucking fishing
[00:50:42] Yeah, you know drunk and I can still get pussy on the road 100% and every time they are in that office
[00:50:50] Like you know, so you see the smoke cloud materialize
[00:50:53] Murdering they're in that you can just hear the vacuum killing
[00:50:56] Killing a life. Yeah a life that's half you. Yeah, exactly. That's very unfair. Yeah, I've always felt that you know abortion
[00:51:04] Totally should be legal, but it should be the man's choice. Yeah, it should be one. It's only fair
[00:51:09] That really is the kind of like what do they call it the sort of like Hegelian compromise
[00:51:14] The society needs it's a wild. We're a fucking public ass intellectual course
[00:51:20] It's wild that you know people are like oh well
[00:51:22] How the fuck is abortion still up for debate that should have been settled 40 years ago
[00:51:26] And it's like because you're not thinking about the dialectic my friend. Yeah, exactly obviously
[00:51:32] Yes abortion should be legal, but it should not be the woman's choice
[00:51:37] 100% it's either her husband or her father
[00:51:41] Yeah, that's you have to have a permission and absent either one of those if she doesn't know who the father is
[00:51:46] It's not her husband then it goes to the chief of police and whatever town she's living in
[00:51:56] Then then you got to go to the governor
[00:51:58] Well, I was saying, you know if there's a male postal worker or something. Yeah, you know a postmaster general
[00:52:04] Go through the chain. Obviously is that gonna be a postmaster general for the tension the town. Yeah, whatever
[00:52:09] They don't say small town. They don't even have a post office. All right, then eventually. I mean eventually yeah, it's gonna boil down to
[00:52:16] Homeless person homeless man homeless man. Yeah, but he has say and if for whatever bizarre reason
[00:52:22] I'm not understanding how it could even function, but if there's an all-female town somewhere. How's that possible? Yeah, exactly
[00:52:29] Literal we don't have to worry absolutely
[00:52:31] Yeah, exactly what the fuck would they do right? Yeah, um in that case then yes naturally magic eight ball
[00:52:47] Make that decision is just have a magic eight ball in the city hall, right? Yeah, bad magic eight ball or a billy big mouth
[00:52:54] Bass. Yeah, something that some kind of male identified toy. Yeah big mouth billy bass is a guy. Yeah, sure. Oh for sure
[00:53:01] Yeah, she's behind some glass. You have to break the glass. Yeah, and you have to decide whether the abortion goes forward
[00:53:07] Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, anything but a lady
[00:53:13] Ridiculous can you imagine that ridiculous? I mean what would but what would that even work?
[00:53:17] It would just be 35 gift shops and sell RBJ socks and they just all be being mean to each other. Yeah
[00:53:23] I'm sure they would be nice, but then no they wouldn't be nice. Yeah, not over anything like a customer service dispute
[00:53:29] They'd go to war with each other on a parking space
[00:53:32] He would end immediately as long as they have a man to hate
[00:53:36] Right because that's that's the thing is they're all trying to destroy each other
[00:53:40] But there was a whole plot of wicker man is it's women's it's a women's society
[00:53:44] They can only function as long as they at least have one guy to get mad at yeah
[00:53:48] But they set up fire they set on fire. Yeah, if they don't have him then they kill each other. Sorry ladies
[00:53:55] You can't do it without us and hold on. Let me just before anyone gets mad. Yeah, that's capitalism
[00:54:01] That is that's the fault of capitalism, right? Mm-hmm. Do you know fucking can't say capitalism? Yeah capitalism can suck my
[00:54:08] My little I used to hate it too until I made a bunch of money and now it's like
[00:54:14] Well, I guarantee you I would not have it. There's no way if we lived in the Soviet Union
[00:54:20] What do you mean? We own the means of production? We own you own the zoom
[00:54:25] Yeah, but we're rewarded for what we do with capital and
[00:54:30] Like that yes, we have the means of production
[00:54:33] But if we lived in the Soviet Union, I was just assigned to be a podcaster
[00:54:36] I'd something gay ass apart some tiny apartment. Yeah, but if we were party
[00:54:41] Aperatics, yeah, probably not even I mean you look through ideas for people like look how modest the living quarters were of the heads of state and it's like
[00:54:50] miserable you're telling me Stalin didn't live in a castle. No, yeah, damn
[00:54:54] No, he had an efficiency apartment and like in like a basically one of those places where people that like rego park
[00:55:00] Yeah, like you know you go to a state school and you have to move into an apartment complex
[00:55:04] It's exactly like the dorms. You just like yeah with like a cinder block walls
[00:55:08] Reagan Stalin's house is like a department that he lived in you go downstairs
[00:55:12] There's like a pool table and a pac-man machine really people would hang out there and that's pretty badass
[00:55:17] Yeah, just a fucked up pool table. Uh-huh, you know he'd have to use the apartment complex computers
[00:55:23] Yeah, you go down there and play beer palms of the pool table
[00:55:27] That was like that's pretty chill, but I don't know
[00:55:29] I mean yeah, I always felt the inverse of that people like yeah
[00:55:32] They stuck to their principles and they had like small living quarters and it's like
[00:55:35] Did you have nothing to aspire to then?
[00:55:39] What pride in being a worker at a factory? Yeah, it's a fuck about that
[00:55:44] You know I would want that you should have it and there should at least be a king. Maybe he's like he's chosen by random
[00:55:51] Uh-huh. There's one guy fuck him make it a retard who cares?
[00:55:55] Every four years we get down syndrome king. Yeah, you're saying this is a better alternative
[00:56:00] You need communism. Yeah with a lottery-based perk system. Yes, you know
[00:56:06] Where it's like you know like maybe like you got you got a shot
[00:56:11] You got a shot at being the one guy in town in your life
[00:56:15] It's a small small shot. It gets to live in the chucky cheese for a month. Yeah, you know, it's cool
[00:56:21] But you can't stay there forever someone else gets it it can't be that the best thing that you can hope for is you become
[00:56:30] Not even through democracy, but through like like navigating a bureaucracy and also being like a vicious murderer
[00:56:37] It's willing to like kill any of your political enemies
[00:56:40] Yeah, then you get to the top and what you get is like a a shitty copy of like a 40 year old fucking mercury
[00:56:47] You know like that's the best so many drives you're around in a fucking in a grand marquee
[00:56:53] Yeah, that's got like, you know a radiator built out old like oven parts
[00:56:57] The what is that is that what these guys think they want? I think so these Fiona guys
[00:57:04] I think they want luxury gay space communism, which was fucking that was always my face the spaceship at the end of Wally
[00:57:13] Well that but they are like ironically they are the Wally people. Yeah, they are like the fat guys and chairs. Yeah
[00:57:21] They don't they just don't identify as them what I want is
[00:57:24] a castle that I get bored with in a week
[00:57:28] I burn it down or I give it to homeless people then I get another cast I what I want is a fucking like light speed
[00:57:35] endless flow of constant consumption and like
[00:57:40] Just I want like every day like place as your five place in six
[00:57:43] But I said place as I wanted like just fucking just like smashing I want my skin peeled back
[00:57:49] Look, I've been like a fucking like massive machine. I'm just I've got like all the new like Chick-fil-A sauces peeling my skin off
[00:57:57] Polynesian fucking the the horse sauce the Chick-fil-A is a fucking like new sauces
[00:58:02] New sauces and different type of french fries that I'm eating and like before I can even process the calories and something
[00:58:09] It's being sucked out of me just plastic surgery in the machine
[00:58:13] You just have a hose in your ass. Yeah, my skin is being like extra skin as it generates and my Lewis college
[00:58:19] And it's being just surgically removed from my body
[00:58:22] That's so tight dude, and then and then once every couple of weeks just a nice trip out to a cabin in nature
[00:58:28] Nice quiet where I can work on my novel touch grass. Yeah, I can touch grass or work on my novel
[00:58:33] Of course that doesn't happen among the internet calling, you know people fags. Yeah, you don't go outside once
[00:58:37] Don't go outside. You're just looking at your phone
[00:58:39] In the cabin getting mad that the DVD player doesn't work. Yeah, because I first
[00:58:43] I'm excited about it because it represents some kind of nostalgia to me or return to nature
[00:58:47] Yeah, but within 20 minutes you're breaking things. Yeah, it's old media from a couple years ago. I make the worst meal possible
[00:58:59] Yeah, then I get in the jacuzzi it fucks up my blood pressure and I throw up all over the controls
[00:59:03] Yeah, and you go back home then back into the machine back into the ps6 7. Yeah, yeah skin ripped off
[00:59:12] And that's that's the ideal system. That's that's that's full communism. That's luxury gay space capital Jesus Christ
[00:59:27] Yeah, I hope you've enjoyed the episode guys
[00:59:29] You want to keep going no, I want to I want to maybe get a little something to eat and then we'll do the regular episode
[00:59:36] Meet my father's coming and then I have to I have to go buy nice clothes for what?
[00:59:42] Shout out to the regular car reviews. They got me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, congrats Nick
[00:59:47] Yeah, I'm gonna share that with the after years with the people big news for Nick the kind-hearted
[00:59:53] Well folk folk. Oh, I guess folk at it's one guy. It's one guy. Yeah
[00:59:58] And regular car reviews got me and he's there bringing me the New York Auto Show
[01:00:02] But he was like he's like there's no formal dress code, but it's a press days. It's business casual
[01:00:07] Yeah, like I literally still in my life don't know what that is you wear joggers every day
[01:00:11] I've never yeah, I wear five wear the same clothes. We're gonna go J crew. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know
[01:00:17] I mean I'm probably just gonna go get another suit. I'm gonna get a suit
[01:00:21] Yeah, I'm gonna wear a tuxedo you're gonna look handsome for the car
[01:00:24] We're a top-hat kiss the cards. Yeah, and then I'm gonna say I don't I didn't know what business casual was
[01:00:29] Oh, yeah, you got to go full-text. I go. Yeah white white
[01:00:33] White tux tails. Yeah top hat apparently when Kennedy found out about the Bay of Pigs
[01:00:38] He was wearing like full white tie. He was at a dinner
[01:00:42] He was at a dinner state dinner and they bring him in he's got gloves on and a fucking Mickey Mouse costume
[01:00:49] Just looking like a fucking magician dude. That's so funny. Yeah
[01:00:54] All right, well, we're gonna get lunch and then we'll you know what's to be right back
[01:00:57] I've seen I've seen I've seen so-called like like communist online shit on the JFK conspiracies
[01:01:05] We say that he actually was killed by Oswald. Yeah, well or just like something's that comedy something their nose at fucking
[01:01:12] Well, I don't know. I mean I saw it, but it's like this is you know
[01:01:15] I mean, you know, it's fun to blame everything on the CIA, but why you would throw salt on the suggestion that
[01:01:26] The deep state which he was I don't get what they're like. What's their motivation?
[01:01:31] Because they want to be cool. I think for a lot of these ought to be contrarian
[01:01:34] Well, yeah, it'd be yeah to be like cool and above it all like the main thing online is motivated by keeping your cool
[01:01:40] You know, I guess it's like and that that exists in the realm of like the irony. Yeah, you can't be pissed
[01:01:47] Distinction, right? Right. So there's this fake argument about irony versus sincerity is if they're a type of person to be rather than just like a
[01:01:54] Literary mode. Uh-huh and I that was all resurrected. I actually by Arthur Chu
[01:02:00] Yeah, who fucking like cited DFW in some salon article like fucking 10 years ago
[01:02:06] That is like idea of like a new sincerity. Yeah, it was further buttressed by Tom Skokas on smarm
[01:02:13] Who's there? Well, I use a guy that wrote for gocker like I don't know what he's doing now
[01:02:17] I'm sure he's I'm sure like most of those gocker Gen X or is there now like
[01:02:22] Just still clinging to using the F word this sound they're triple masked. Yeah, it's a saying fuck
[01:02:28] It's a saying fuck yeah, whatever. Yeah, but
[01:02:31] Yeah, anyways, so like the thing online is you always want to
[01:02:37] Be above the conversation by having the right answer but not being like emotionally affected by it in a certain one
[01:02:43] Yeah, or if you are you're just sort of pissed at people you think are dumber than you
[01:02:46] Yeah, that's how you always want to be and it is that that is the media's fault
[01:02:50] It's the fault because it's like Twitter's culture was sort of determined by New York media folks by cool New York media folks who at any moment
[01:02:58] Are like just want to ingratiate themselves the other New York media dorks
[01:03:03] So it's always just I gotta have the right opinion and I gotta be like above everything and cool
[01:03:11] To what was I talking about the communist saying that JFK wasn't killed by the CIA because it's too
[01:03:16] It's too sincere to say that like you know the CIA killed so they're trying to be cool
[01:03:22] It was basically the point of ways. Yes. Yeah, I guess it makes sense when it's in and of it's like you know again
[01:03:27] It blurs a distinction because it's not necessarily ironic or sincere to say other it can exist in both
[01:03:32] You can be ironically claiming that the CIA did it or you can be sincerely doing it and when people can't figure out
[01:03:38] Which side it's on then they have to escape the conversation and just dismiss the entire thing
[01:03:43] Yeah, and try to hook up with their roommate and try to get candid. I try to get fucked your roommate
[01:03:47] I forgot that that's where that even started. Yeah, that's really what launched us on this whole thing
[01:03:52] And now we go. Yeah, this has been a rare. No, I mean even like the irony that I was gonna
[01:03:57] I was gonna try and go somewhere back to the green M&M. Oh, yeah, I
[01:04:03] I'm too old dude. I'm too old. I can't do it anymore. It's too damn old
[01:04:07] It used to be that and now I've turned into it. I'm just all set up no punch lines
[01:04:12] That's fine. Yeah, but you think about it. And that's why that's how Rogan got to where he is. He's also
[01:04:17] He just dropped the punch lines. Yeah, that's all Rogan people are like, you know
[01:04:21] Oh, he's a dangerous. No, it's like somebody say working their way through dumb ideas thinking at the end you get to
[01:04:29] You know, well, why don't you know and now he's the wealthiest man. We just make a monkey the president
[01:04:35] Of course, that's all you say and it'd be a good punchline
[01:04:39] Everything that Rogan says that he gets in trouble for saying like, you know the vaccines is a lot of evidence that they cause more
[01:04:44] Heart attacks than they fucking you know, then the disease they prevented especially in younger groups
[01:04:50] And I brought in a guy with a fucking sub stack to prove that he's gonna give me one side date
[01:04:55] I'm gonna talk to him for an hour if he just turned the camera and said that's why we need a goddamn
[01:05:00] Chimpanzee is president as a punchline every fucking what is it? It's pretty good. Yeah, we got banana Wednesday
[01:05:05] So the vaccines you get a couple of bananas. Yeah, roller skates then like, you know, every time this is a Wendy's
[01:05:12] Right, right, you know, exactly every time they try to snipe him with one of these clips
[01:05:16] He just said play the full context and then you see the thing about the chimpanzee and you can't be the president
[01:05:20] And you can't really get he's in a white
[01:05:22] Even if it been like, you know, you know, the thing about
[01:05:35] Alain Joe Rogan loves saying you know, and then he gets to the end and he's like that being said
[01:05:39] Yeah, if we had a goddamn chimpanzee president, I think in that context it does not bail him out
[01:05:48] Because of the the age old racial trope
[01:05:53] Who the hell is getting mad at black people when we have a literal chimpanzee as president who Joseph Biden?
[01:05:59] Oh, no, when there is we had a if we had a chimpanzee running the country. Uh-huh
[01:06:04] That you got no time to be mad at black people
[01:06:07] Yeah, because then it's an actual chimpanzee. I don't know where you go with this
[01:06:13] Well, what I'm saying is like I can't imagine, you know, like what nobody's gonna look at a chimpanzee
[01:06:18] You're saying that that would end racism it would because nobody's gonna look at the chimpanzee president and say like what the hell is this?
[01:06:25] Black guy, you know, it's a chin. You already know it's a chimpanzee. Yeah, you can't blame black people for that
[01:06:30] Yeah, they do they do the chimpanzee comparatives
[01:06:33] Pajoratively, right because I think it's a knockdown further
[01:06:36] But now he's the president of the United States
[01:06:38] Yeah, even in the heart of like the most virulent racist when they call Obama a chimpanzee
[01:06:42] They know they're doing that because it's a extreme. It's worse. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's it's it's mean
[01:06:50] Damaging if it were an actual chimpanzee they wouldn't insult the chimpanzee by saying
[01:06:55] That why they wouldn't try to insult. I'm not saying that I got you you see what I'm saying
[01:06:59] I see where you're saying they would say what is this a slug or a goblin? Yeah, what is this a fat communist that rapes his roommates
[01:07:07] They would go lower than chimpanzee. Oh, and that what I think my landlord is calling me about the mice
[01:07:14] One second. Yeah. All right. Anyways, but the folks listening at home to further. What are you doing?
[01:07:22] He's neat. He needs somebody to be buzzed in
[01:07:24] Brutal brutal leave me hanging on that and not let me find the way out of the chimpanzee president comparison folks
[01:07:33] The st. Louis states got fucked up. I won't I won't be able to be there May 12th through 14th
[01:07:39] I think that they can't sorry about that. No, it's fine
[01:07:41] May I will not be in st. Louis it took too long to work out a deal
[01:07:45] But I will as a replacement being Raleigh at the beginning of June. I still don't know about Boston. That was all
[01:07:57] He's a booker. He's my last boss over. Yeah, damn. Let me ask you. What if we did what if we did this deal?
[01:08:04] You know something he sounds something like that. What the hell you want?
[01:08:07] Well, landlord can't figure out how to get on my I can't believe you didn't go with me on the chimpanzee president
[01:08:12] Dude, I told you I have the the mice are back. Yeah, I know but like I mean, you know to not let me figure it out
[01:08:19] We've had we've we've abandoned our normally contentious relationship
[01:08:24] Why are you taking two phone calls now?
[01:08:33] Say it and you have to text my girlfriend to let them in. Oh, you have to text your girlfriend
[01:08:41] Remember that remember the what's his name era?
[01:08:43] Remember this said no one ever era. I love that the people are still going strong with the Twitter jokes
[01:08:51] Like what no one and absolutely no absolutely no McDonald's. We've got shamrock shakes
[01:09:01] That's what I mean. It's like I had one this year
[01:09:03] It used to be funny people on Twitter and all these immediate dorks got came ruined
[01:09:07] Yeah, cuz they can't do anything other than just apply things like the format thing. Yeah
[01:09:11] Anybody does format joke unless you're doing it ironically, right? Which again
[01:09:17] Then falls into the truth. Honestly, that doesn't even work anymore
[01:09:19] I've four mentioned trap. Yeah, what I've seen a lot now to is people like just deliberately stealing tweets, which I love
[01:09:26] I've always thought that was cool. Yeah, if you just steal tweets like a tweet that has a hundred thousand likes. Yeah, you just steal it
[01:09:33] Yeah, and post that people should do that all the time. Yeah, why not? Yeah
[01:09:37] Damn, I think I just I think I just intellectualized something
[01:09:42] I think you broke through on the chimpanzee thing cuz here's the thing like and this is and I will I will get through
[01:09:48] I will get through to my point on this one is so way back
[01:09:57] Opened its mind. You think that was the peak that was when no, I mean, I don't know when like that was your work
[01:10:02] I'll tell you this what that was is when culture war bullshit started affecting like comedians like me who used to we had
[01:10:08] Our own little world. Uh-huh. We didn't think about paradise. We didn't know nobody knew shit
[01:10:14] Occasionally some academic dork would come by and no one would have any respect for them
[01:10:18] No one was smart because they weren't funny because they didn't know how to do it
[01:10:22] They had to listen to put the phone down dude. I got I tell them you're a worker with a patient
[01:10:29] Tell them you're with a patient slash client
[01:10:35] They're suing their own mind for a million dollars. What do you mean? You're coming you're not
[01:10:45] Keep going. I'm listening. What were you talk? What was I talking about 2013 2012 and comics were stupid before the culture war bled in yes
[01:10:58] The guy is called the guy is called Adam four times now. We're dealing with a
[01:11:08] How you've been you've there's been mice there for a year you neither
[01:11:11] Just move you understand you're being like you got a COVID deal on your apartment in the landlords like
[01:11:16] Hoping I realize this now. Yeah, but you know what the mice are family now at this point. Yeah
[01:11:24] Anyways, what was I talking about? I don't know we're gonna have lunch right now
[01:11:27] We're gonna have lunch, but I wanted to get finished this one point. This is my only outlet
[01:11:31] I don't have stop here to interrupt me or say what I'm saying is gay and you're blowing it for me
[01:11:36] This is all I'm sorry. I like I said public intellectual. This is all I have now you're crushing it
[01:11:42] Oh, no, I now we're further. What was I saying before that? What was I talking about?
[01:11:45] You were talking about the culture war bleeding into the but why did I bring that I have no idea dude? I don't know
[01:12:01] I don't fucking you would what do you what do you say like?
[01:12:06] No, I never laid I've made that point before correctly I might add but I was gonna relate it to something funny something about Arthur
[01:12:12] Chew David Foster. Oh, that was 20 minutes ago and that didn't go anywhere. This is this is you had to take five phone calls about the mice
[01:12:20] I'm sorry. I had to let them in and my fucking girlfriend's not letting just send one text message
[01:12:25] I'm sorry. This guy's called me fucking three times. I'm super belabor my dumb point that I
[01:12:31] Had that time of what I swear to God. I had there was a funny joke at the end of it. God damn dude. I
[01:12:39] Really I thought it's fine Mike. We can do it without stop stop would have gotten your at I would have someone to turn to
[01:12:45] Well, you take I know it's my fault. I really appreciate I dropped the ball stops not here. Oh, man
[01:12:50] He's stuck in transit right now. I'm like legitimately annoyed. I'm gonna have to listen DHL back to New York City
[01:12:57] I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to listen listen back because I know you know what you could do
[01:13:02] You could do like a Nick like postscript or a dendom. I'm not doing well, of course. No, of course
[01:13:08] I absolutely of course how much free come down to we give them 13 minutes