Cum Town | Premium | 04/18/2022
[00:00:00] That is like it would like I think that's a joke from something else.
[00:00:04] So not only is it bad to say, but it's also just it's stolen.
[00:00:14] Do you honestly like I hate doing spots?
[00:00:19] I hate going out. I hate, you know, yep.
[00:00:20] But do it like doing literally anything and feeling like I have some kind of
[00:00:26] It's like now I can enjoy all the fucking off.
[00:00:29] All the downtime of course, like I've earned this because I for 14 minutes,
[00:00:33] I talked about, you know, now I'm allowed to watch television.
[00:00:38] Do like probably I think I think each show I did maybe 27 minutes.
[00:00:44] Yeah, but they were they went hard, you know, like Cat Williams special.
[00:00:51] And it's like he's hitting the fucking turbo button the whole time.
[00:00:54] I didn't do that. No, no, no, I didn't.
[00:00:56] Nick had a towel over his shoulder. Yeah.
[00:00:59] He did Nick's stool work was incredible.
[00:01:01] That special is called fuck the damn world.
[00:01:08] I want to I want to watch all the special.
[00:01:10] I was just I was just watching it recently.
[00:01:12] I think I think of my brother's bachelor party.
[00:01:16] My I mean, it's not my maybe my favorite special.
[00:01:21] Maybe Pimp Chronicles or it's Pimpin Pimpin.
[00:01:29] It's the one the fucking he's in the green screen.
[00:01:32] With the star the Iraqi the Iraqi Joe the bet literally the best joke about the Iraq war.
[00:01:38] Better than Steve done killed the baby.
[00:01:41] Even though that's that might be the best.
[00:01:44] That might be the best because honestly because the Steve one starts off.
[00:01:49] He's like, ain't no no catch bit is better.
[00:01:53] No, but Steve manages to ruin the right.
[00:01:56] He's like, ain't no weapons of mass destruction.
[00:02:05] Anyway, it's really fun to try and count the amount of times.
[00:02:15] And I thought it was going to be like, you know,
[00:02:18] set there's like seven good ones because you remember.
[00:02:20] But he is constantly checking in with the stool.
[00:02:24] Even when he's not doing a full act out.
[00:02:26] It's like there's a little the stool is necessary.
[00:02:29] I'm going to go back and actually count every single one because I was pretty high
[00:02:34] Yeah, the green jacket and then the diamond star necklace, right?
[00:02:39] And in the middle of it, in the middle of it, he just plays the song because he
[00:02:42] just signed a dip set and he played in the middle of his standup bag for an act
[00:02:46] that he plays his own song with the upset.
[00:02:49] He has a little John come out in the middle of it.
[00:02:51] He does so many things that should not work.
[00:03:09] You just got a genuine what are those out of me.
[00:03:15] Those are fucking what did you get a walking shoe?
[00:03:19] Fucking sitting in your office and you're painting.
[00:03:28] Every member of the audience gets one other way out.
[00:03:33] You want to get your steps in and just go to an Adam Friedman show and close all of your
[00:03:46] Why can't you just be a guy that gets a Nike or a new balance?
[00:03:52] You got to fucking get this old Jewish man shoe.
[00:03:55] I kind of love wearing white sneakers and now I got to stop doing that because I get
[00:04:00] I'm not ever going to be a guy that's clean and sneaker.
[00:04:02] If you get white sneakers, you're eating you pair every month.
[00:04:05] I'm about to drop my shit off and you're trying to get a good will.
[00:04:10] I'm going to start donating clothes at Panera Bread.
[00:04:14] I'm going to take it directly to the homeless people.
[00:04:16] I don't understand why we got a middle man here.
[00:04:18] I'm leaving a garbage bag full of sneakers at McDonald's.
[00:04:25] I have a bunch of clothes I want to give them.
[00:04:26] There's one by a couple blocks away from here.
[00:04:31] There's been one on Quincy that was like, that's where I go.
[00:04:48] You're lying on the Quincy Salvation Army.
[00:04:49] Not the Salvation Army, the bins on it.
[00:04:55] He's very close to an establishment that I was asked to leave.
[00:05:06] But for running the name of two WOC business owners.
[00:05:25] Sometimes I do it loudly saying like, oh, you know, it must be a great guy if I'm giving
[00:05:32] Yes, just great stuff that I found in the trash in return because I knew the fucking
[00:05:38] Have you seen a different socioeconomic class?
[00:05:43] They changed all the mailboxes so that you can't put feces in them anymore.
[00:05:52] You can't because people were putting fucking dog shit.
[00:05:54] Yeah, they don't have that weird door thing anymore.
[00:05:58] I don't like I'm worried they should have just going to get thrown away.
[00:06:02] I think I want to know my shit is getting resold to a whole-
[00:06:05] I used to go to the Quincy one all the time.
[00:06:08] And I've donated some shit that is just straight up garbage and they take it.
[00:06:11] Like I brought them like a Ziploc bag full of wires one time.
[00:06:29] Yeah, maybe some homeless guys need some shit to plug in.
[00:06:32] But see, the economy of Goodwill is like, it's not like you go to Goodwill.
[00:06:37] Maybe here it's different, but a lot of places it's just fucking, well, no, New York, yeah,
[00:06:41] it's never like poor people going to fucking Goodwill.
[00:06:46] No, I mean, I think that's damn hipsters.
[00:06:47] I think there's plenty of poor people that go.
[00:06:51] Yeah, but in some neighborhood, you know what that's not good?
[00:06:53] Yeah, there's a fucking Goodwill on like 25th and between six and seven.
[00:07:00] Yeah, you get good stuff because rich gay guys, rich gay guys give away a lot of like
[00:07:07] While it was in Austin, I went to, there's a turf shop I used to go to all the time,
[00:07:11] like right on, like, I guess it's like Cameron and I don't know, it doesn't matter.
[00:07:15] But I used to go, I'd like, right down by there on Cameron, right?
[00:07:18] Right down, right by down there on down there.
[00:07:26] It's by the fucking Target in the Chase Bank.
[00:07:29] Right next to the, yeah, there's a McDonald's and a rallies checkers right next to it.
[00:07:33] Yeah, it's called like Texas thrift or something.
[00:07:35] But you go in there, I used to go there all the time because the t-shirt selection is
[00:07:39] We got one that just says, Alexa, give me a blow job.
[00:07:47] That's like getting that shirt and like probably drunk wearing it once and being like, I guess
[00:07:57] But then everyone in there is like, boy, it's good.
[00:07:59] Everyone in there is like, you know, like a, like a Mexican mom.
[00:08:04] Like, it's always sad because they're always buying the toys.
[00:08:08] And it's like, like a fucking, like a car from 1991 with like three wheels.
[00:08:14] It's like, this is for just don't get your kid toy at that point.
[00:08:22] I hope they'll whittle and whittle his own car.
[00:08:31] He's like, he said he was going to be on the Twitter board and then he wasn't.
[00:08:36] It would be great if he just bought it because like if he if he just bought like a controlling
[00:08:41] steak or whatever, then he could just be like, yeah, ban ban, Louisa Diaz, ban.
[00:08:51] I don't know if he just if somehow it got back.
[00:08:55] I see that he's like, yeah, we're going to ban a Louisa Diaz.
[00:09:01] Are you like a big of these two people?
[00:09:04] Just like the most I'm trying to think of the most obscure people that like, right, that
[00:09:08] would be funny for if like Elon Musk is just banning like if there was a purge somebody
[00:09:13] on yeah, like on a comedy just like something like mildly critical of Elon Musk of late
[00:09:21] But then you, yeah, but then no, then you leave all those guys.
[00:09:24] So they're like, this is capitalism or whatever.
[00:09:27] And it's like, yeah, there's nothing you could do.
[00:09:30] And that would be the kind of cruelty under capitalism that I would think of very when
[00:09:36] they came for the gypsies, I said nothing.
[00:09:39] No, it's it's not they came for the communists.
[00:09:41] It's not that because it's ultimately it's something that doesn't really matter.
[00:09:45] You know, it's like Twitter doesn't matter.
[00:09:47] You know, there's like fair complaints or, you know, criticisms or like complaining about
[00:09:52] people not having fucking healthcare, but getting banned off Twitter is fucking me.
[00:09:57] You're saying you're saying you would turn into like these right wing guys.
[00:10:00] You want him to deny them the martyrdom of getting banned on Twitter?
[00:10:09] Just ban people arbitrarily that are like very like minutely involved in overall like
[00:10:20] But that's what I'm saying to lead to annoy the other ones.
[00:10:34] Is it true that that Grimes was fuck Chelsea Manning?
[00:10:42] You know, I'll never, I, any time Chelsea Manning, any time Chelsea Manning comes up,
[00:10:48] like the first thing that pops into my head is like the day she got out of prison and
[00:10:52] posted a picture of the most disgusting looking pizza I've ever seen in my life.
[00:10:57] She was like, it was like, it was the worst.
[00:10:59] Worst like fucking like prison cafeteria pizza I've ever seen.
[00:11:06] And then it's like, it's like, you know, like it was like enjoying the taste of freedom
[00:11:15] So wait, you're saying, stop, you're implying that Chelsea did it for the pussy.
[00:11:24] She leaked that, that, that video of the drone killing.
[00:11:32] It was called like, it had a cool last name, the video.
[00:11:40] That does not look like, you know what?
[00:11:49] That's kind of sucked to be like, this is going to scandalize the whole world and like,
[00:11:54] I think for a little bit, the same people that already cared cared.
[00:11:57] No one, I was like, yeah, we know we're doing drone killing.
[00:12:00] Well, the thing was Chelsea was like a nerd.
[00:12:04] I mean, I guess, I guess Snowdon is also a nerd, but maybe Snowdon is definitely a nerd.
[00:12:08] Snowdon was maybe a cuter or something.
[00:12:13] There's one slice of pepperoni on that piece.
[00:12:19] That's the difference in how mean you see them all.
[00:12:28] Damn, I would eat that pizza right now.
[00:12:34] Well, I haven't had breakfast because the Uber, I was, you know what?
[00:12:37] I was planning on getting some donuts and coffee.
[00:12:39] I had a fucking hour 10 minute fucking Uber ride.
[00:12:42] Yeah, this is the thing that like people do like this and it's it's it's liberals grooming
[00:12:55] I'm trying to say that everybody do that.
[00:12:58] I mean, my take now is we got to take school lunches away because they're grooming children
[00:13:06] Dude, why are they everyone's like, if you ever tell like if you teach a kid about condoms,
[00:13:14] The whole thing is fucking convoluted because they hear liberals.
[00:13:17] Like using terminology and then they just steal it and then they just use it for their
[00:13:24] So for a long time, it was like people with purple hair on Twitter saying, if you're
[00:13:28] 25 and your girlfriend's 23, you're a pedophile.
[00:13:36] It's like all the people that are just a human centipede.
[00:13:38] They're saying that that it's like regurgitating all this bullshit.
[00:13:42] That it's like fucking pearl clutching about like, you know, like grooming with like, you
[00:13:47] know, conservatives, the same people that turn around and be like a 46 year old man is
[00:13:55] You know, which is the video, but they aren't they doing, but the difference is that they're
[00:14:03] Like fucking laws where it's like, if you're looking at a child, do you go to jail or something
[00:14:09] I don't know anything about the don't say gay laws.
[00:14:11] My my feeling is like school's bullshit.
[00:14:14] Anyway, I don't give a fuck like, we got a lesson plan.
[00:14:20] You got a lesson, you can't put the teachers suck.
[00:14:40] Anyway, the fucking yeah, it's like the whole the whole bill is like, you can't do it.
[00:14:44] You can't do like, you know, like, uh, Stephen and his husband Richard have nine apples.
[00:14:54] Like that's like, you can't have that as an example.
[00:14:58] Do you think he's just because Republicans are just running playing the hits?
[00:15:01] They're like, damn, she just goes so bad that he would Republicans are going to turn
[00:15:09] Like all of like any of the like grounding in reality with like any kind of LGBT stuff,
[00:15:14] like ended once gay marriage was like fucking legalized.
[00:15:20] After that, it's like there's really not that's why it's like, like, people can't like
[00:15:25] So like on the other side of this, that's what you have people like talking about, whether
[00:15:29] you should have kink at pride, like whether a guy in like a dog gimp costume should be
[00:15:34] like getting pets on the nose from a four year old.
[00:15:43] Depends if you can see his balls or not.
[00:15:59] It's like, how often is that happening?
[00:16:04] And then it turned everything turns into this like, you precedent settings, society conversation.
[00:16:10] It's like, it could be just kind of funny.
[00:16:12] Yeah, it's like, I don't think that's happening all the time.
[00:16:14] I don't think that's like, well, every four year old on their birthday goes to meet the
[00:16:21] You know, and the guys that get feeds and treats directly into its ass.
[00:16:23] The guys that get to talk about that are the guys that I don't know if you've noticed
[00:16:27] on Twitter, like anytime there's like a JK rolling tweet where people get pissed and
[00:16:34] There are all these like 60 year old British gay men who like having their bios like, like
[00:16:45] And they're like, they hate like trans people, I guess.
[00:16:50] And they're all like, like, I haven't like, I can't be bothered.
[00:16:55] That's like, my genders are conned and can't be bothered.
[00:16:59] The training one who makes a pronouns joke.
[00:17:02] The trancing sort of like a back door for.
[00:17:04] Like LGBT issues, like to just be like injected into like everything that happens in society
[00:17:13] because now it's not now it's not even about like, but there's an army of these guys that
[00:17:19] It's like standing up for like trans people have been around.
[00:17:26] Like because yeah, you have gay marriages done.
[00:17:28] So now it's like, should this person be allowed to go swimming?
[00:17:35] Well, we should should should a trans child get to wear a dress.
[00:17:41] Put that boy in a fucking pants or you're going to jail.
[00:17:45] Like put him in a put him in a manly sailor dress him up with a giant lollipop.
[00:17:54] But I think probably what it is right is that it's just like they just got their rights.
[00:18:00] So the next guys coming through the door, they're like, you're going to get my you're going
[00:18:05] They got to finally we're finally a hockey flap.
[00:18:12] They're like, I've been I've been having anonymous sex in bathrooms for years.
[00:18:15] Meanwhile, if you're if you're a gay man in a major city, you've had liberation for
[00:18:24] A white gay guy in a in London or New York.
[00:18:32] And don't fucking drive through the south, you know, or whatever.
[00:18:36] No, but in New York, you're untouchable.
[00:18:38] Andy Haynes probably doesn't even remember it.
[00:18:39] I remember he did a joke like right after Obama got elected.
[00:18:42] He was like, people are getting a little too excited about this.
[00:18:47] It's like, you know, it's like, well, first black president, like I can't wait to celebrate.
[00:18:50] We're a homosexual fucking couple and we're going on a gun taking tours through the south.
[00:18:57] I forget how he worried it, but yeah, it made me laugh when he did it a million years
[00:19:12] Even crazier than that fucking pizzeria pretzel combos came out 37 years ago.
[00:19:19] I've never been a pizza, pret combos guy.
[00:19:21] I like the cheddar ones with the with the cracker crust.
[00:19:24] They're not different enough for me to really have a preference.
[00:19:30] I prefer the cracker to the pretzel more than anything.
[00:19:33] I just like I put them in my mouth horizontally and I chew all the salt off and then kind
[00:19:46] That's the way I do like a like a rodent would like some kind of scheming rodent.
[00:19:53] I wish I could get genetic modification to have long just thick whiskers.
[00:19:58] I'd be sick just like but they're like hard, you know.
[00:20:02] But can you use them to like feel out stuff because don't they use their whiskers to like
[00:20:05] yeah yeah because you're always doing that.
[00:20:08] I would do it but they would pick up like chemicals or something.
[00:20:15] You could know if there's good pussy around.
[00:20:19] If you could I wonder if good pussy scientific smells different.
[00:20:21] I honestly I would love to be a giant rat with like fucked up ears like just chewed up
[00:20:40] A red nose on the end and big whiskers.
[00:20:44] Big fucked up just chewed up ears like a piercing on the end.
[00:20:50] Oh, I mean it would just be that I didn't choose that.
[00:21:07] I mean I don't want to show with them but they can do they can do a lot of shit.
[00:21:12] They can hold their breath underwater for like three hours.
[00:21:15] There definitely is a type of girl that loves rats.
[00:21:18] I don't think they can hold their breath underwater for three hours.
[00:21:35] There's no way they a whale can't even do that.
[00:21:39] Rats can tread water for up to three days.
[00:21:48] They can hold their breath for up to three minutes.
[00:21:58] No, you're thinking of the great mouse detective.
[00:22:04] I think I was I was assuming he was like a minor character.
[00:22:19] No, because I have our I'm on the record saying I don't want to be a rat.
[00:22:22] I'm on the record to say in their gross.
[00:22:27] He knows about being gay is the same way.
[00:22:36] No, I patiently just allowed rat women.
[00:22:39] You women who have pets rat, pet rats and that it's a it's an impediment to me.
[00:22:47] He's looking over the headboard at the little rat enclosure.
[00:22:54] And this is my boyfriend, Rad again, and we're talking about.
[00:22:56] There's a girl in Baltimore who not only had it wasn't a rat actually, it was a fucking
[00:22:59] like maybe a big ass guinea pig or some shit, but she had big ass titties and she was kind
[00:23:05] of a dumb bitch, but I busted so fast every time.
[00:23:08] It's the old like, honestly, sometimes it takes me water bust.
[00:23:11] I don't know if it was her pussy was shaped the right way, but those fucking I'm in there
[00:23:16] next to a fucking cage with gay pigs in Columbia, Maryland.
[00:23:24] She had great pussy, but she was crazy.
[00:23:31] When I when I was looking up with her, she was pretty she was like on her thick shit.
[00:23:38] I would keep up with her on Facebook and since since I'm not on Facebook anymore, I don't
[00:23:42] know what's going on with her life, but the last I checked she had lost too much weight.
[00:23:46] She was I mean, I guess for others, she looks good, but I liked her with them titties.
[00:23:51] Like a little like your meat, little meat on the ash cheeks Facebook is kind of like
[00:24:04] That's like more of a contemporary book for seven years.
[00:24:12] I mean, I don't ever the only reason I have it.
[00:24:14] I had to log in to run like ads for like fucking, you know, touring ads.
[00:24:22] My dad told me that he rode on my wall for my birthday the other day.
[00:24:27] And instead of getting a gift, I can't do it.
[00:24:33] I'm not interested in a rat girl with rat ears.
[00:24:42] I like the antlers better than the rat ears.
[00:24:43] So I've goes down to the dumpster and fucks the rat girls.
[00:24:49] I don't, I don't do and like you've never fucked a bitch with a weird pet.
[00:24:59] It stands to fucking logic that you would fuck other rats.
[00:25:02] You could want to be a rat if you ever came within the context of sexuality.
[00:25:06] Me, I just think about it would be a cool, fun look.
[00:25:09] Well, eventually the rat's gonna have to fuck.
[00:25:31] That's a real pest problem right there.
[00:25:34] We've got these man sized rats breaking into your home and committing rape for the crowbar.
[00:25:46] Even woman child that's getting raped by the rat.
[00:25:48] It would be even better if I'd stopped my brain.
[00:25:54] It was just a big fucking rat that would fuck.
[00:25:56] Yeah, still wearing a fucking, like one of those promotional shirts from GameStop.
[00:26:02] It's just Call of Duty on a midnight launch shirt.
[00:26:06] Because I'm tearing the fucking door jam off of the crowbar.
[00:26:11] You smell pussy with your big whiskers.
[00:26:13] I go in there, rape your wife and then eat all your cookie crisp.
[00:26:18] Tear into the cookie crisp in the bottom of the box.
[00:26:21] I would be, yeah, I would be distraught.
[00:26:37] You better go and get in through the toilet.
[00:26:41] Oh, I'm the guy who fucks all the rat goes, you know all these rat facts.
[00:26:45] How did you learn them if you didn't fuck rat girls?
[00:26:50] You were told after you fucked rat girls.
[00:26:51] You know, I think we should transition the conversation and start talking about lunch.
[00:26:56] I'm so into that idea because I'm pretty hungry.
[00:27:01] Austin really made me miss, which I went down to Lockhart to get barbecue.
[00:27:07] No, I'm smart enough now that I go and I just get like one like I get.
[00:27:11] It's mostly a quarter pound of whatever, like something from each.
[00:27:15] You know, I get like the fatty brisket from last.
[00:27:22] I mean, like barbecue is like I just I don't like I think I'm done with it.
[00:27:25] That's how I feel about a lot of foods.
[00:27:28] But I used to be really into like really into like ramen.
[00:27:32] You have like real good food in your life.
[00:27:36] Every once in a while it hits when it's a cold day.
[00:27:39] I'd rather have a Vietnamese soup or a Japanese soup.
[00:27:43] If I'm having an age with the fucker, I mean a Chinese a Chinese soup shut up.
[00:27:48] Dude, you don't know what you're talking about.
[00:27:51] You know, an egg drop fucking hot and sour hot and sour fucking your mind here because
[00:28:00] Those are appetizers, but I would rather have a bowl of fun anytime.
[00:28:06] If you want the broth feels like yeah, that's something more substantial.
[00:28:16] I love pho, but I'm just saying you there's no reason to disparage ramen.
[00:28:22] It's just I just thought it's more of a.
[00:28:29] The fuzz definitely the better and more accessible soup day to day.
[00:28:31] But ramen is a little there's a little treat every once in a while.
[00:28:34] It's like you eat a burger versus a fucking big ass steak.
[00:28:38] Back to what I missed for about an Austin remind me Chinese going to Chinese buffet.
[00:28:43] I've been back to Austin a couple of times in the last 10 years, but this was the first
[00:28:47] time that I had like any kind of like nostalgia or whatever.
[00:28:50] Maybe because it's like far enough away.
[00:28:52] It's yeah, it's long enough in the past that I can you know, like I have no real connections
[00:29:01] I saw like guys that like I haven't seen a long time that I used to be good friends with,
[00:29:07] You have friends, but they're not the version of themselves that they were when you guys
[00:29:12] Yeah, no, I had lunch with Eric Krug and made him used to be good friends.
[00:29:17] And he was like probably like 27 when we were friends and he's like 56 years old.
[00:29:25] He looks like you were 18 probably looks like like the fucking governor of New York.
[00:29:41] What she said they're doing, you can drink outside now.
[00:29:46] And it has nothing to do with the pandemic.
[00:29:59] They know that fucking New York is doomed and they need something.
[00:30:04] Are we still talking about real rats again or regular physical medical?
[00:30:14] Goldman Sachs, they just opened an office in Dallas.
[00:30:21] They're hoping they're going to, you know what it is?
[00:30:25] I guarantee you they're talking about the jazz pivot.
[00:30:28] New York is going to become the Orleans New York is going to become why any city does
[00:30:35] They're like, let's just pretend we invented jazz.
[00:30:40] It's literally just New Orleans, like Kansas City.
[00:30:43] When we were in Cleveland, they renovated the whole area and they're like, the blues
[00:30:48] It's blues barbecue and fucking, you know, like it's like every every place does that.
[00:30:54] They pretend now that like, you know, jazz and blues have been like, they're really
[00:30:59] sanitized of any of their like racial implications.
[00:31:02] Like now those that can be a thing that's like safe in a downtown area for like whatever
[00:31:07] like, you know, municipal bureaucrats trying to like, you know, gin up business.
[00:31:12] New York needs to up their like morbidly obese, bachelorette party game.
[00:31:18] Like when I was in Nashville, we turn the Chrysler building into a 70 story Chinese buffet.
[00:31:27] I imagine like, holy fuck, imagine the greatest food court in the entire world.
[00:31:33] That would be all every floor, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, yeah, Malaysian, Indonesian.
[00:31:39] And then, you know, you run out pretty quickly to that Indian.
[00:31:42] It's like a gradient Indian fucking pack of staining from the world.
[00:31:47] Like Afghan food, you know, fucking Tajik food.
[00:31:54] Used car oil with fish sauce, petro dollars.
[00:31:58] But you go out, you get every cuisine in the world is that infinite buffet.
[00:32:02] And if you make it to the top and you get food from every one of them, then but with
[00:32:06] that the time you get to the top, they push you off and you can fly.
[00:32:17] But if you manage to do it, then you can fly.
[00:32:23] So that would be, that's how you save New York City.
[00:32:27] Or, you know, like a lot of people complain about the mosque on the ground zero, but here's
[00:32:33] what would be more offensive that we should do indoor skydiving.
[00:32:44] Like though, the middle of the model of the tower and you jumping out of a window.
[00:32:49] You jump off the top of the world trade center and indoor skydiving center.
[00:32:56] And while you're doing it on the ground below you, they've got a projector above and it's
[00:33:00] just projecting the holy scriptures on the floor.
[00:33:09] You know, there's a Greek church in between the building.
[00:33:11] I know that I was asking you about it the other day.
[00:33:15] Because it looked like it looks like the ground zero mosque because it's got a dome.
[00:33:22] Yeah, this is what I call the Me Too movement.
[00:33:26] Because it was because there's women being thousands of women being killing men killing
[00:33:36] No, because it's planes going into buildings.
[00:33:40] The Me Too movement is playing James flying into twin.
[00:33:56] Not well, if the other Weinstein was a rapist too, Bob and then everywhere.
[00:34:01] By the way, is there any chance the other guys not a rapist who the other Weinstein?
[00:34:09] Brett Weinstein from the Peter Teal company.
[00:34:14] Wait, what's the other Weinstein called Bob Bob?
[00:34:19] Harvey made movies and Brett was with Joshua.
[00:34:21] Oh, dude, Bob is a racist rapist for sure.
[00:34:34] I just got a Kindle to read at night in bed.
[00:34:45] I mean, it's convenient, but it's like it feels like it's going to break.
[00:34:54] Yeah, but a book I understand, like it feels like I'm going to break this screen and it's
[00:34:59] It always seems like it takes a while for the screen to refresh.
[00:35:05] You turn the lights off in your room, you power up the Kindle, you don't need an other
[00:35:21] I also like that you just click a little button and the page turns.
[00:35:27] But you're just too powerful for it, dude.
[00:35:35] You get the ones with the little buttons?
[00:35:42] Because I thought the screen was bigger.
[00:35:49] I used to just use the iBooks app on my phone.
[00:35:53] I'd read an entire book just scrolling.
[00:36:05] Elder's has the Kindle app on his phone.
[00:36:11] Whatever the fuck he does, he reads off his phone constantly and it fucking pisses me off.
[00:36:21] The police have said I have a sheet of penis.
[00:36:30] I had a lift driver the other day named Ainesa.
[00:36:56] Did she get on three car accidents on the way there?
[00:37:13] Who was it that did the joke about Chinese people during 9-11?
[00:37:16] Because 9-11 happened right next to China town.
[00:37:20] And then Chinese people just going out...
[00:37:22] Just Chinese people going outside and being like, yo, okay.
[00:37:30] Because the Chinese mind doesn't react to the...
[00:37:34] These are the people that invented fireworks.
[00:37:39] They were on the roofs of China town celebrating.
[00:37:47] Big old dragon jumping from 12 guys in a dragon.
[00:37:57] That's a little bit of a claim about China.
[00:38:01] No, he also said that about the Chinese.
[00:38:13] He fucking beautifully would just like...
[00:38:15] Just walk that tire up where he's like, Muslims are celebrating 9-11 and he's like, but we
[00:38:23] He's like, look, we should be racist against them.
[00:38:43] Yeah, he got a couple of motherfuckers on the Supreme Court.
[00:39:04] Honestly, I haven't had a bodega sandwich in a while.
[00:39:21] It's covered in graffiti and I've never seen it open.
[00:39:33] Oh, no, it opens at 5 p.m., you fucking do it.
[00:39:43] They used to have a nice lunch special.
[00:39:44] We used to get lunch there all the time.
[00:39:55] Can you imagine, dude, this is what you would be doomed.
[00:40:00] If it weren't for the comedy, that's it.
[00:40:13] I would have been one of those fat guys.
[00:40:18] You would have been the king of queens.
[00:40:19] It would have taken all my powers to get one hot bitch, but I would have figured it out.
[00:40:32] Guys, we just saw a picture of a lady and it was horrible.
[00:40:37] If you're there playing along at home, Nick showed us a picture of a lady with rat ears.
[00:41:07] A harrowing thing about a bunch of like really ugly...
[00:41:18] This account, the picture of Adam is its avatar.
[00:41:21] Greg 1985's Easy Counsel, nobody can see his poster.
[00:41:27] Yeah, there was like a communist sex scandal amongst some of the most truly atrocious looking
[00:41:36] It ended up like we started making fun of it and then it became kind of heartbreaking
[00:41:54] Fuck Samurai Popper for not being open right now.
[00:41:59] If it was Samurai Mama, I guarantee you they'd be open right now.
[00:42:01] There is Samurai Mama in Williams' work by the movie theater.
[00:42:18] Is it your birthday today after my birthday?
[00:42:34] Say I've made a career on calling you a homosexual on the internet.
[00:42:46] Because someone told him that I'm on the Wikipedia page for the hospital that I was
[00:42:53] Literally, I've never seen him prouder.
[00:43:04] And he's like, and then the next day after the party, I saw him and he was like, I thought
[00:43:12] And then I went on the Wikipedia and lo and behold.
[00:43:17] So whoever did that, whichever one of you freaked that your dad is like the same.
[00:43:23] It's like kind of like a social impropriety you do, but he's very loud about it.
[00:43:32] Everyone loved to Adam and his birthday and you know, whatever his birthday.
[00:43:39] He's like, I come to him out of my penis.
[00:44:01] He's like, three cheers for all of my come that came out of my penis.
[00:44:05] That would have been a silent room and really tackling.
[00:44:08] If that was me, oh, I wish I was there.
[00:44:11] And then he's got, yeah, he does it like he kind of moves around in that like insecure
[00:44:18] He doesn't know what to do with his body.
[00:44:20] Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure he's shrunk like four inches.
[00:44:28] Bro, I didn't have four inches to shrink.
[00:44:33] Thank you for saying it was once four inches.
[00:44:45] I mean, I have to go meet up with my dad after this.
[00:45:03] Yeah, it's by like where they did the World's Fair, but they have a scale replica of the
[00:45:08] Like it's like a one to 100 scale replica of the entire five boroughs.
[00:45:17] You know, he's going to like that crap.
[00:45:22] Yeah, it's honestly very cool to look at for a tech.
[00:45:26] I can't wait to fucking not be on the road and go do a little shit like that.
[00:45:29] Yeah, a little, you know what you should do?
[00:45:32] As a fun day trip activity, go to City Island.
[00:45:37] I need me a bitch to go to City Island.
[00:45:39] You need to do is get a bitch and take her to Bear Mountain and go for a little hike.
[00:45:44] You know what you want to get me a bitch this summer, dude?
[00:45:47] You need to get either a three-wheeler or a motorcycle with a sidecar.
[00:45:50] And fucking take a woman up to Bear Mountain and ride around up there with sidecar three-wheeler.
[00:46:09] I literally could not handle the politics.
[00:47:03] Didn't Ansel, isn't our boy Ansel a rapist?
[00:47:08] How does he keep fucked a 17-year-old or something?
[00:47:12] My man got to be in some big ass movies for doing rape.
[00:47:22] I was thinking, I was somebody brought it up the other day.
[00:47:32] But you want to think that where he's a cop, but he's actually-
[00:47:40] I love Michael Mann's so fucking bullshit.
[00:47:45] Lunch and then we don't have to watch it, but I'm putting it on the background.
[00:47:58] I just watched the insider, but it's fine.
[00:48:01] I feel like Theif is a better background movie too, because I could just look cooler.
[00:48:06] The insider is a great movie, but I think you've got to be paying attention.
[00:48:23] I've got documents to prove that Philomores has been saying, being on closed doors.
[00:48:34] Dude, that scene at the end where he's on the phone, he's on the beach.
[00:48:51] He said beautiful shot in Theif, like right in the beginning of the movie where he's just
[00:49:05] Is there somewhere we can- Yeah, talk your vice.
[00:49:22] The fact that his journalism really, really breaks my mind.
[00:49:24] Well, I think he's so good at journalism.
[00:49:37] Do you remember when- I did- I tell you guys that story about when I went to that.
[00:49:40] I got a colonoscopy at this place in Vegas.
[00:49:45] Then there was a front page news story that they were reusing needles and stuff and people
[00:49:51] You were scared you had age or whatever.
[00:49:52] I thought I had hepatitis C or AIDS, but I was looking at what famous people have hepatitis
[00:49:59] Ken Watsonabe was one of the first names of the list.
[00:50:02] I was like, this guy's the second to last samurai.
[00:50:14] I'm so pissed there's not ramen near here.
[00:50:25] I'm some ramen have like a one piece of sushi as an appetizer.
[00:50:30] We could go to that place that admittedly has fallen off in Williamsburg.
[00:50:36] Well I can't really eat because I'm getting food with my dad after this.
[00:50:45] Well, well, well, if it isn't vagina Adam.
[00:50:52] I think I'm going to take him to what you call it in Red Hook.
[00:51:07] All right, where are we going to order from then?
[00:51:25] You know, I heard his guest this week as a six foot tarantula.
[00:51:34] Joe's like, now a lot of people think that's bad, but you say it's actually good, right?
[00:51:41] He lets the tarantula just go say whatever it wants.
[00:51:51] It's got it spits out a web and it's filled with child pornography.
[00:52:00] And that's the kind of enabling that he does.
[00:52:03] It's like he's doing the child pornography.
[00:52:07] If he doesn't challenge that tarantula, it's a kickbox.
[00:52:09] All right, what about a place called Mira Kuya Japanese?
[00:52:16] We can throw on thief as soon as the episode's over.
[00:52:23] You know Nick's got the good edition, right?
[00:52:36] You know, we could also put Mona Lisa on too.
[00:52:40] I would love to watch Mona Lisa smile with the boys.
[00:52:44] They got any three-rolls lunch special over here.
[00:52:54] I thought we were going to ramen, but he said that's close.
[00:53:00] I would love ramen, but there's no one around here.
[00:53:09] I just don't know where the fuck it is.
[00:53:19] If I get sushi, I go to fucking city market and go to Daigo.
[00:53:33] This fucking Venezuelan retard just opens a business and there's like, he doesn't have
[00:54:02] I also have the- I got the- we can watch all the Jason Bourne movies.
[00:54:07] We can smoke weed and watch Jason Bourne.
[00:54:23] When they walk in and there's like eight guys who've gone, had their dicks completely
[00:54:30] From the distance of the Chrysler building, his man starts falling to his death and flies
[00:54:35] And as he comes in the focus, there's a giant rat.
[00:54:43] They were like, Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne.
[00:54:47] The guys in Langley call you and they're like, we just want you to come in.
[00:54:53] And you're like, I can't do that, chief.
[00:54:55] But you have to break into Langley because like, that's the toughest job yet and you
[00:55:04] And there's a lady there that's like, I'm a spicy Latina.
[00:55:10] What do you think's going to happen in the post-only fans era?
[00:55:15] Because I feel like a lot of people just, yeah.
[00:55:17] Women are going to go to fucking church.
[00:55:21] Well, they got into doing like only fans during the pandemic.
[00:55:24] Like there was like that blew up during the pandemic.
[00:55:30] But like, and then we're going to go back to doing nothing.
[00:55:40] I guess we'll just, is the episode over or should I just order on the board?
[00:55:54] So I'll just put together my order on the episode.
[00:55:57] I mean, I think the people deserve to launch any three roles.
[00:56:03] Is that that weird little cucumber thing?
[00:56:16] Oh, Nick, by the way, don't have oysters now.
[00:56:24] Apparently there's a fucking something.
[00:56:34] It makes it seem like you want him to live.
[00:56:42] It makes it sound like you want him to live and me to die.
[00:56:45] You know Nick has an oppositional defiance.
[00:56:47] So if I tell him not to, he's going to be like, you can't tell me what to do.
[00:56:53] And then he has the oysters and then he dies.
[00:57:09] I've got oppositional erection disorder.
[00:57:17] Before you could even think, before your weak mind could even come up with anything.
[00:57:21] You're fucking passively, completely just crossed you all the disorder.
[00:57:25] And then shoved the ball directly up your ass.
[00:57:29] Why is the oppositional erection disorder?
[00:57:41] I'm going to see a couple of ladies like this.
[00:57:45] You know, you know the party's getting started.
[00:57:49] You know, it's going to have to be party.
[00:57:55] So this is like women like this, you know, during the pandemic, they're like, well, I
[00:58:05] I managed the waffle house and now I'm a sexy nurse on OnlyFans.
[00:58:17] And it's not like I'm not saying that in the sense of like what?
[00:58:20] So these whores just going to get their job back in normal society.
[00:58:23] I mean, like once you've been so spoiled as to do nothing and be rewarded for it, it's
[00:58:28] like, I don't know if they can't, you know?
[00:58:39] It's not like people are going to stop beating off to it.
[00:58:43] They're like, oh, it's the pandemic's over.
[00:58:53] Yeah, I feel like they all got killed during the pandemic.
[00:58:57] They're yelling at school board meetings.
[00:59:00] They're having meltdowns in CVS on Facebook live.
[00:59:03] Yeah, just women with like alligator hands.
[00:59:08] A $300 manicure and then the hand itself looks like it's from a crocodile.
[00:59:12] Yeah, they can paddle with their hands.
[00:59:14] Yeah, just like a just a thick padded, you know.
[00:59:21] Do you want any three rolls lunch special, Nick?
[00:59:32] Philadelphia roll, I want the Boston roll and I want the Wallberg roll.
[00:59:35] I don't think the atmosphere Boston or Wallberg here.
[00:59:43] Dude, that was so funny when you said that.
[00:59:45] The Philadelphia roll is the funniest one.
[00:59:49] Our first meal in Tokyo went out for sushi and stops like, yo, y'all got an Astoria roll.
[00:59:56] The one with the fraud shrimp on it and mayonnaise.
[00:59:58] Anyway, it's been another great episode of Comtown.
[01:00:01] Hold on, we're not going to finish it until Nick orders lunch.
[01:00:04] Oh, also I will be in Raleigh, June 9th through 11th and Portland, June, some to say 11th
[01:00:22] And then I will be carolized a week after that.
[01:00:27] And I will be taking the summer completely off.
[01:00:47] It's alligator hands holding fucking Wawa coffee.
[01:00:52] I'm just going to get you exactly what I got.
[01:00:54] Yeah, just giving exactly what you got.
[01:00:56] And then maybe, let's maybe get some girosa.
[01:01:01] You don't even have to worry about that.
[01:01:04] Okay, salmon avocado, spicy tuna and a shrimp tempura.
[01:01:20] And you want a miso soup out of anything else?
[01:01:22] Can you give me a miso soup and I don't know.
[01:01:43] You know, when it comes to my boys eating, I want everyone to be fulfilled.
[01:01:47] Do they have any dark chocolate, perhaps?
[01:02:06] That's a nice little more midnight morning snack.
[01:02:08] Yeah, I'm still going to like horny middle-aged lady only fan-torter.