[00:00:00] Ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've been waiting for.

[00:00:06] Ooh, ooh!

[00:00:07] It's the reunion.

[00:00:09] The family reunion.

[00:00:11] Fuck, yeah, bitch.

[00:00:13] We're back, finally.

[00:00:15] This is like the last...

[00:00:16] We don't have to do no more pre-recorded episodes, so this will go up tonight.

[00:00:20] Yeah.

[00:00:21] Well, we're pre-recording it before it goes on the internet.

[00:00:23] Yeah, well, it's like Saturday Live.

[00:00:25] Like Saturday Live, it's a fucking lie.

[00:00:27] It's not actually live.

[00:00:28] Really?

[00:00:29] It's not live.

[00:00:30] They recorded in the afternoon.

[00:00:31] No.

[00:00:32] Saturday night afternoon.

[00:00:34] Saturday afternoon.

[00:00:37] Whatever.

[00:00:38] Yeah, what you thought Saturday night Live was actually broadcast live.

[00:00:42] Yeah.

[00:00:43] No, they shoot it like months in advance.

[00:00:46] I'm serious.

[00:00:48] Wow, I didn't know that.

[00:00:50] Yeah, they shoot all the episodes like six months in advance.

[00:00:53] One day, banging out, they get Alec Baldwin in there.

[00:00:55] Oh, that makes sense, because what you're going to keep coming back?

[00:00:58] Oh, okay.

[00:00:59] Yeah, he's busy, dude.

[00:01:00] He has to do a bunch of shit.

[00:01:01] Like, yeah, the Shadow 2.

[00:01:03] Yeah.

[00:01:04] Yeah, boss baby.

[00:01:06] Boss baby.

[00:01:07] Yeah, call his kids.

[00:01:08] I love that like, like, I want to...

[00:01:11] That daughter that he called the pig is not as hell now.

[00:01:14] I feel like they only threw in there.

[00:01:16] I wonder why.

[00:01:17] Yeah, because he gave her a strong life lesson.

[00:01:21] Yep.

[00:01:22] A Bob Knight style of parenting.

[00:01:24] Yeah.

[00:01:25] What they call it, the Ola Alexa Joel treatment.

[00:01:29] Who's that?

[00:01:30] This Billie Joel's dog.

[00:01:31] Oh, that's right.

[00:01:32] She's...

[00:01:33] She's...

[00:01:34] You know, I looked her up so much.

[00:01:35] Yeah, yeah.

[00:01:36] I looked her up again recently, and she was hot.

[00:01:38] She was not like...

[00:01:40] I mean, she was ugly for, you know, celebrity.

[00:01:42] But remember that picture of her with Christy Brinkley and her other daughter and her other sister?

[00:01:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:01:47] So, and well, nothing will ever be Ron Perlman's family.

[00:01:51] Yeah.

[00:01:52] Ron Perlman's son is a DJ.

[00:01:54] Yeah.

[00:01:55] His family looks like the Geico caveman.

[00:01:58] You married a black woman, right?

[00:02:00] Yeah, but a fucking hell of a black woman.

[00:02:02] I mean, she's like Amazonian.

[00:02:04] Really?

[00:02:05] And then his face is fucked up.

[00:02:07] Yeah, so their kids are like...

[00:02:09] They don't...

[00:02:10] Have square jaws.

[00:02:11] They don't look human.

[00:02:12] I'm gonna pull it up, maybe.

[00:02:14] Wait, is his wife sexy?

[00:02:16] No one in the family is sexy.

[00:02:19] Damn, Perlman couldn't pull a dime.

[00:02:21] No, I think he's one of those assholes that love

[00:02:23] somebody.

[00:02:24] What a bitches motherfucker.

[00:02:25] Ron Perlman.

[00:02:26] What do you think that's like...

[00:02:27] We think love is like...

[00:02:28] What is it like?

[00:02:29] Well, it's an undescribable feeling, stop.

[00:02:31] You know, you've never felt love.

[00:02:33] Stop, it feels like flying.

[00:02:36] Yeah, look at this.

[00:02:37] You've never felt love, Adam.

[00:02:38] It feels like...

[00:02:39] I know Nick is not.

[00:02:40] It feels like the first time you've ever listened to that song America by Simon and Garb.

[00:02:45] Actually, you know what the daughter is all right.

[00:02:47] I guess maybe I saw her.

[00:02:48] I know.

[00:02:49] I know Nick is not.

[00:02:50] He's actually not the daughter.

[00:02:53] I guess maybe I saw a bad picture of them one time.

[00:02:55] The daughter could get it.

[00:02:56] The son is a...

[00:02:57] The son looks like Sideshow Bob.

[00:02:59] He's a DPI named Delroy Edwards.

[00:03:01] I held Delroy Edwards.

[00:03:02] I saw Deanna words.

[00:03:03] Check him out on Instagram.

[00:03:05] He's Ron Perlman's son.

[00:03:08] Yeah.

[00:03:09] Fuck.

[00:03:10] Yeah, sorry.

[00:03:11] I guess I unfairly judged that family.

[00:03:14] My problem is, you know, some people have photographic memory.

[00:03:18] I have like caricature memory.

[00:03:21] Like cartoon memory.

[00:03:22] Like a guy at a boardwalk depiction.

[00:03:25] Yeah, exactly.

[00:03:26] But my...

[00:03:27] Like everything I've experienced.

[00:03:29] Yeah, yeah.

[00:03:30] Retrospect.

[00:03:31] I was like, you know, homeless guy has got his dick out.

[00:03:33] Which, you know, maybe just the tip.

[00:03:35] But in my mind, it became a much better story.

[00:03:37] The whole dick.

[00:03:38] Yeah.

[00:03:39] I haven't seen a homeless dick in a while, but there was some guy.

[00:03:42] There was a guy when I was taking the train from Queens to fucking JFK to get to the plane.

[00:03:47] There was a homeless guy that smelled so fucking horrendous.

[00:03:52] Oh, yeah.

[00:03:53] And it's just, I couldn't...

[00:03:54] He looked like...

[00:03:55] Did he clear the car?

[00:03:56] Yeah, he cleared the car.

[00:03:57] But he was the thing, people were walking away from him.

[00:03:59] These fucking...

[00:04:00] This Indian family's walking away from him.

[00:04:02] And he kept walking towards that.

[00:04:04] Like these...

[00:04:05] That's fresh off the boat, Indians.

[00:04:07] It's the Indian family from the Matrix, too.

[00:04:09] And they're trying to get their daughter back into the Matrix.

[00:04:12] Never seen it.

[00:04:13] Yeah.

[00:04:14] You haven't seen the Matrix, too?

[00:04:15] What?

[00:04:16] Everyone said it was bad.

[00:04:18] Yeah, but after they saw it, they went to go see it.

[00:04:21] It was bad.

[00:04:22] How is what they know?

[00:04:23] Yeah.

[00:04:24] You don't just not see the second Matrix movie.

[00:04:26] Yeah, I didn't see it.

[00:04:27] Dude, that was our fucking Star Wars, dude.

[00:04:30] Matrix, too?

[00:04:31] Yeah, that's our Empire.

[00:04:32] No, I mean Matrix was the...

[00:04:34] That trilogy.

[00:04:35] The Matrix was good as shit.

[00:04:36] Yeah.

[00:04:37] That's my hot-ass take.

[00:04:40] But yeah, that guy smelled bad as shit, dude.

[00:04:43] But I haven't seen any homeless dicks.

[00:04:44] Had a nice flight over here.

[00:04:45] We're in fucking La La Land, baby.

[00:04:47] Yeah, dude.

[00:04:48] I'm fucking my new...

[00:04:49] This is...

[00:04:50] I'm Malibu moldog now.

[00:04:51] Yeah, I'm Hollywood.

[00:04:52] I talk like this.

[00:04:53] All the time, dude.

[00:04:54] Dude, yeah.

[00:04:55] I love the...

[00:04:56] You already talk like that.

[00:04:57] So you can't do one of the characters.

[00:04:59] Me and him, me and Star Wars, plan this out.

[00:05:02] And we said this is perfect because Adam can't do one of these characters.

[00:05:05] This is what I sound like.

[00:05:06] Because he already fucking sounds like this, dude.

[00:05:08] I can't do any voice.

[00:05:09] I don't sound like that.

[00:05:10] West Coast fucking hell yeah, baby.

[00:05:12] Oh, really, bro?

[00:05:13] I'll just fucking head-set.

[00:05:14] You're like this.

[00:05:15] We took a nice little drive out to faggot rock today.

[00:05:18] Of the PCH.

[00:05:19] Yeah, of the PCH.

[00:05:20] Yeah, the piss hole, the penis coming in your mouth.

[00:05:25] The penis coming in your hand and then you eat it.

[00:05:28] That's what people pay us money for.

[00:05:32] You're just mad that you can't be included in the West Coast vlog.

[00:05:36] Yeah, bro.

[00:05:37] Dude, I'm from.

[00:05:38] This is my vibe.

[00:05:39] This is my vibe.

[00:05:40] You know what?

[00:05:41] You talking is actually helping me get the voice.

[00:05:43] Dude, it's me.

[00:05:45] I'm from here.

[00:05:46] I'm from here.

[00:05:47] I'm from here.

[00:05:48] I'm actually, you know what I'm saying?

[00:05:50] How do you say, Mari?

[00:05:51] How do you say Mari's name?

[00:05:52] Mari.

[00:05:53] There's no O in it.

[00:05:54] It's Mari.

[00:05:55] Mari.

[00:05:56] But the A.U.

[00:05:57] makes no.

[00:05:58] Mari Povich.

[00:05:59] What do you call it?

[00:06:00] What do you call it?

[00:06:01] Morrie Porvitch?

[00:06:02] Morrie.

[00:06:03] The X-Povich does have it.

[00:06:04] Morrie Povich.

[00:06:05] Yeah, it's Mari Povich.

[00:06:07] It's a F-O-H-A-U.

[00:06:08] It's an A.U.

[00:06:09] It's an A.

[00:06:10] Mari.

[00:06:11] Morrie.

[00:06:13] That's the way we say it.

[00:06:14] I forget.

[00:06:15] Yeah, bitch.

[00:06:16] How do you say Austria?

[00:06:17] Austria.

[00:06:18] Yeah, so Mari.

[00:06:19] Mari.

[00:06:20] Morrie.

[00:06:21] No, you don't say Austria.

[00:06:23] Austria.

[00:06:24] Sometimes I do.

[00:06:25] No, you don't.

[00:06:26] Whatever, bro.

[00:06:27] It's more of a California reflection.

[00:06:28] Oh, fuck, I can't do it.

[00:06:29] It's more of a California inflection.

[00:06:31] Yeah, it's kind of like when you're gay.

[00:06:33] It's kind of like, yeah, you have a cock in your ass?

[00:06:35] Yeah.

[00:06:36] And you, but you're surfing.

[00:06:37] Dude, this reunion is...

[00:06:39] I was this great.

[00:06:41] It was like, we're going to hang out again and we're going to have so much to talk about.

[00:06:44] Yeah.

[00:06:45] This is not the case.

[00:06:47] We do.

[00:06:48] Wait, we've been h

[00:07:04] orf

[00:07:10] time, cum, cum.

[00:07:13] Yes.

[00:07:14] Let's go Barry.

[00:07:16] rolls up.

[00:07:18] What do you mean we love being here?

[00:07:21] Emerging.

[00:07:23] We had 15 while

[00:07:05] Yeah, I mean, 20 dude, I'veProm

[00:07:21] Film laughs.

[00:07:23] Asian.

[00:07:24] W

[00:07:21] m

[00:07:23] wear.

[00:07:25] Question

[00:07:26] of

[00:07:21] r

[00:07:28] R

[00:07:28] igator.

[00:07:31] H

[00:07:29] encourages

[00:07:31] me pretty quickly, today.

[00:07:32] W

[00:07:33] Matrix to mmm sounds like she ashes and my fascist pressure of the mind

[00:07:38] Is that what they have those two albino twins with dreadlocks? Yeah?

[00:07:41] Yeah, that looked cool matrix is so into dreadlocks and like not black people have the the walk out

[00:07:47] Who else in the movie has dreadlocks?

[00:07:49] There's like I feel like there's like a ton of new one name one name one. I can't remember

[00:07:55] Say there's more dreadlocks describe. I know one from there really into dreadlocks and hard-style techno

[00:08:01] Those are the first ones one of the brothers. Yeah, he's black. Yeah. Oh, you said not a black

[00:08:05] Yeah, he said non-black. We'll even get you let you do black pick one other person the guy from the wheelchair and Oz

[00:08:13] Wasn't he in the matrix? No

[00:08:16] Okay, did you see matrix three? No, yeah

[00:08:20] That one is so fucking bad dude. Yeah, yeah whenever like I love whenever the one where he turns into Jesus any movie where they're like

[00:08:27] Alright, let's put a Mac in it. That's you when you know that they gave up. What's a Mac machine?

[00:08:31] It's like no, it's like a fucking it's a robot that you can sit in and you can throw the robot. Oh, yeah

[00:08:37] Yeah, they have the

[00:08:39] scene at the end of the third one where like the head of the fucking

[00:08:44] Wearing robots

[00:08:47] They all like they forget he's like, you know, they're like they have the big battle between the fucking

[00:08:52] You know the sentinels the bad those octopus things they come through the ceiling and then they the robots

[00:08:58] I'll shoot them and then he's like ordering commands

[00:09:01] And he's like there's like, you know

[00:09:03] He's like screaming and shooting the fake robots and it's like an embarrassing scene to watch

[00:09:09] Watching like the passion with this because it's such a dumb technology

[00:09:14] That's a famous guy to the the commander of them. Yeah, wait, so he's just yelling and people are in the robots

[00:09:20] Yeah, they're all it's like a their robot troops. Yeah, they're the last and so they're all dying one by one

[00:09:26] But it's like, you know, even if that was like Pearl Harbor or you know like a World War II movie

[00:09:31] Yeah, man, those guys actually died, but it's you can't it's this stupid

[00:09:37] Cartoon they're in bootleg ash transformers. Did I write anything cool? Yeah, you know what?

[00:09:42] You know, it's a Mac at the end of avatar that shit that the army got the bad army guy gets yes

[00:09:47] Yes, yes, that's a Mac. Yes

[00:09:49] And he had a knife on his that was tight. Yeah

[00:09:52] You know why I think the dreads before because Lena Wachowski after she went trans got pink dreads

[00:09:59] That's not in the movie though. Do well. I'm just saying they're into dreads. I see okay

[00:10:05] Jo's the name Lena. I think you choose your first and last name and you could just be Lena Dunham

[00:10:11] Become trans you could you could change your name. I guess yeah, dude. People would have to respect that right. Yeah, you'd have that's part of being

[00:10:18] Becoming trans you should do that just to troll Lena Dunham. I should do that

[00:10:28] Who's it's like that fucking trolls gets tail thing with bugs where bugs is like oh, yeah

[00:10:33] Yeah, I did a bit yeah, I used to get trolled

[00:10:35] But then I started doing a bunch of dumb gay shit like dressing up like a woman and trying to kiss them

[00:10:40] I don't like doing it, but it works

[00:10:43] That's what fucking

[00:10:45] Didn't Gavin that so did you tweet that yeah? Yeah, yeah, would Gavin my love like kissing each other

[00:10:52] To prove something. I don't know. It was it was to show Islam

[00:11:01] Whatever the fuck you want to call them all right guy kiss the gay guy and it's true. It's true. You're really showing them

[00:11:07] You really show first of all gay men are already fucking in our country

[00:11:11] So it's like anything you're doing unless you I don't know my look kissing an adult man is a big troll on Islam

[00:11:18] Well, he's not gonna pump with with my voice

[00:11:22] That happens afghanistan all the time oh, yeah

[00:11:27] Yeah, and then Milo's out now cuz he's a pedophile. Yeah of the closet. I thought it was good

[00:11:31] Yeah, no, he's out of the circle. I know I know racist. Yeah, I know no Milo

[00:11:46] How does the fucking how does the fucking matrix three end hey guys

[00:11:51] For a second how much does it actually suck to be a pedophile that like I mean everyone already

[00:11:57] Anyways, everyone already hated them anyways, but imagine you're a pedophile and you're reading the news and like it's like Nazi ban from Nazi community

[00:12:05] For being a pedophile

[00:12:11] Sir any place

[00:12:13] Where I can belong who would accept pedophiles the church who would accept the Catholic Church institutionally

[00:12:20] Yeah, um who'd accept I mean if you're a great musician and shit like but you can't be can't just be an average guy

[00:12:26] Yeah, you got to be like a Woody Allen or a fucking Michael Jackson

[00:12:30] Woody Allen fucked his daughter

[00:12:40] What's that I'm kidding

[00:12:43] He's a piece of shit and shit

[00:12:45] The Jeffrey Epstein thing is insane who's the plane the guy the millionaire who's like I have a plane where you can rape children

[00:12:53] All these are all famous people were like

[00:13:00] Bill Clinton Donald Trump was on that yeah

[00:13:06] Bill Clinton definitely right yeah, well

[00:13:10] I just probably an adult you know yeah, that's the other thing too imagine you're in the airport and you're like taking your fucking shoes off

[00:13:16] At the TSA and they're making the throw out their toothpaste and then that fucking shit is just taxiing

[00:13:27] Why can I have my fucking belt back please

[00:13:31] They don't let a fucking small-sized mouthwash yeah

[00:13:34] I feel like Jeffrey Epstein was just like a rich guy that flew all the time and you just happen to be on flights with like crying babies

[00:13:41] And he's like that's it. I do something

[00:13:44] I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna be the guy that gets back at those babies

[00:13:50] What how did Epstein make his money raping shoulder

[00:13:58] The best of anything so wait a second this is just a private plane yeah

[00:14:02] Yeah, yeah the low-level

[00:14:05] Yeah, well basically it was a regular plane and then you met exhibit

[00:14:11] It's like oh my place fucked up

[00:14:14] Did you make my plane cool exhibit and he's like check this out we got a four-year-old

[00:14:19] We went a little crazy

[00:14:27] Spocks

[00:14:33] Ergonomically designed fuck stations I would love if you go on the plane and have one of those like you know those like those shoe cubbies

[00:14:39] Like that's not a ball

[00:14:46] Tiny dildos it must suck to be molested oh yeah, yeah, it's something I wouldn't know anything about

[00:14:55] No, not really an older neighborhood kid in your neighborhood sort of yeah

[00:14:59] But is that like really molestation what would happen again an older neighborhood kid was like let me suck your dick

[00:15:05] Yeah, and he did suck your dick. Yeah, yeah

[00:15:18] Because it's like he he was getting molested I feel like that's stolen valor

[00:15:23] That's like if a guy who came back from Iraq between the face and I was like yeah, I'm a veteran

[00:15:28] You just sound like when they found out Vito was sucking the security guard stick and not he was getting his dick sucked by the security guard

[00:15:34] No, that's you did get molested, but it is you got molested

[00:15:37] Kind of right kid. There was like maybe three years older. It's not like you know

[00:15:41] I mean he was probably he was probably got molested being blessed by you. No not by me. Oh by somebody else

[00:15:47] Yeah, I was just like this kind of weird like it never fucked me up

[00:15:51] He's lived he's lived a normal

[00:16:00] I'm saying it never

[00:16:04] Yeah, another guy after you talk about like yeah after you talk about like the three years you spent a drink a 30

[00:16:14] Everything's going exactly the most this is the best your life is going is the most you're depressed

[00:16:19] Yeah, some guy started sucking your dick and just fucking

[00:16:27] Okay, so you did a podcast without us hold on are we all from all the stations?

[00:16:31] Can we talk about most days?

[00:16:33] Sure, did you ever get molested no well probably I mean what happened?

[00:16:38] Well, I had my parents lived in Europe so probably for you know by fucking American standards

[00:16:44] I probably got molested

[00:16:46] Did that anything ever did anybody ever well? I mean in your sheltered American culture?

[00:16:51] I see I see you sucked off your your uncle on a bike ride. Wasn't my uncle who was it?

[00:16:57] My grandma sucked her off. I think I know it wasn't our titties was a dick. You suck your grandma's dick of course

[00:17:04] I'm suck your grandma's dick if she asked you to I probably would

[00:17:09] She's got a nice fat cock. Does she no did you did anything?

[00:17:12] Well, no, I think I told this story on I think one time, but it wasn't molested one time me and my cousin

[00:17:19] We're like we got naked and my aunt came in

[00:17:25] And she got another's dicks we were really touching I think we were like leg of bed

[00:17:32] Imagine if you're fucking that you're this is stolen valor. I'm sorry, but that's not molestation Nick definitely got the

[00:17:39] I'm saying I did because you know I've told that story to people who were actually molested

[00:17:43] No, like you didn't get fucking molested. That's like kids experimenting. Yeah. Yeah, I think

[00:17:48] Yeah, it didn't like there in all in all honestly you fucked up where you know

[00:17:53] I turned like 15 or whatever. I'm like okay

[00:17:56] That was right right deal and then I'm like just jacking off to

[00:18:01] Lesbian pornography constantly

[00:18:05] Right. Yeah, yeah, of course

[00:18:07] I I think I told the story on YKW, but I never told on this podcast where I

[00:18:13] Tried to see another John Moore

[00:18:17] Dude he was seeing red. Well, yeah, I told this story what happened was

[00:18:23] They had just gone over the like don't show your privates if somebody has to see your privates

[00:18:28] Don't yeah, you know that thing had gone to school

[00:18:30] And I was just like such a fucking little dickhead and if anybody told me to do anything

[00:18:34] I want to do the opposite. Yeah, I was hanging out with his fucking weird neighbor kid

[00:18:38] I remember what his name is, but his dad's name was Oscar. He still fucking lives next to her

[00:18:43] My parents. He has like the shittiest Porsche on earth. He is like a fucking he painted a fucking mural and spray paint on the back

[00:18:51] Fucking rules. I'll take a picture of the next time at home. Anyway, yeah

[00:18:54] I just have the PJ's you ever see the PJ's yeah

[00:18:58] They had a joke on that show where they like make a soapbox racer or something and it's a Porsche

[00:19:03] But it's two o's

[00:19:06] It was a good show that was a very good show

[00:19:08] You know what I found a VHS tape at my mom's house like taped episodes of the PJ's on it

[00:19:13] I love that fucking show dude the PJ's let's get in the PJ's projects living in the PJ's

[00:19:18] But basically I just asked to see this kid's dick. I was like hey

[00:19:23] We're just playing with toys. I was like so um

[00:19:26] You think maybe we should like show each other our privates and he was like nope and I was like okay

[00:19:30] No big deal, but I definitely asked to see another boy's dick and who knows if he had said yes

[00:19:36] What would it happen?

[00:19:37] I mean I guess the closest I got molest to being molested was that my dad just was constantly naked around me my entire

[00:19:43] Up-ringing yeah, my dad was always like including like yelling at me for doing things wrong like getting yelled at by naked

[00:19:51] Man penis just jingling. Oh yeah, like I car keys

[00:19:54] You've never thought you do that I just know I vividly remember my dad's flappy dick like I was just like yelling at me about like not doing

[00:20:02] Well enough on my history

[00:20:06] You're at Olive Garden

[00:20:11] You know me he didn't he didn't look at me look at more dick

[00:20:15] He'd be like in the shower and he'd be like get it here right now. I'd be like I don't want it

[00:20:20] Yeah, I'd be extended into high school. I'd be like 17 years old

[00:20:24] He's just in the bag

[00:20:26] He's taking a bubble bath

[00:20:28] The tip of his dick

[00:20:43] It which is what he yells really loud

[00:20:46] Yeah, I mean it's just shaking back and forth like a doorstop

[00:20:49] Well, have you guys not seen your dad's cocks have yeah, my dad would be naked a lot to his your dad have a big a big

[00:20:54] Haul I think I think I think you're a smaller dick than your dad

[00:20:58] I think my dad has a bigger dick than me

[00:20:59] But not that like when you're a little kid you see it your father's dick

[00:21:02] You think it's humongous of course and I thought he was really packing and I saw it recently and I don't remember why or how

[00:21:09] I was talking muffly was sleeping

[00:21:13] Broken it was fucking room tight his head

[00:21:15] It's like this cock, but now I saw it recently and it was not it was like bigger than my dick

[00:21:19] But it wasn't like a fucking monster. So you're dad's big

[00:21:23] He's got a nice cock

[00:21:25] Yeah, when I was like three okay, so you have actually I walked in on my dad jacking off one time when I was like

[00:21:31] Awesome, that is like what happened completely out of the oh no, let's get it. Let's fucking let's fucking go into the bank

[00:21:38] Oh, yeah, I don't know like this bank where was hold on hold on set the scene for us. You're in his apartment

[00:21:42] I know I was so had a house at the time and I was like, oh, he's doing better. Yeah, well barely

[00:21:49] And I went in though was the end of it

[00:21:51] Yeah, I went into his room to see if like he was gonna drive me to school or whatever. It was a morning beat off morning

[00:21:57] That's therapeutic. He's like completely naked on the bed

[00:22:02] Laying down and like that's how my mom caught me as soon as he heard the door open he like rolled

[00:22:06] So he rolled and it's like I jack off

[00:22:09] So I know what the fuck he's doing and he rolled and like he was completely naked

[00:22:13] So like the sheets caught one of his ass cheeks and just like opened his ass

[00:22:18] He's just looking over his open ass. It means like yeah

[00:22:24] Wait, I tell you because he's like nervous because you know what?

[00:22:28] So I'm like are you driving to school? He's like yeah, I'll be done in like like 10 minutes

[00:22:34] Okay, it's like close the door

[00:22:36] I don't know in his mind. He was like that was a close one

[00:22:40] I know you never think you got caught beating off. Oh, I told you guys like a few years ago

[00:22:46] We were saying I was I was visiting. Oh, it was my grandfather's funeral. We were in San Diego

[00:22:51] I was staying in a hotel room. My parents had one room

[00:22:54] My sister had a room and I had a room next door and we knocked on their door to see what time dinner was and they were like taking a while

[00:23:01] And I like looked at my sister. I was like, oh shit dude like maybe and she's like they don't fuck

[00:23:06] They're sleeping. She like knocked again and my dad just opens the door and he's wearing

[00:23:11] This is such a dad move. He's wearing t-shirt no pants or underpants just stretching his t-shirt over his dick

[00:23:23] My sister stayed there I literally ran down the hall like long hotel room. They were definitely fucking I

[00:23:28] Think they were trying to have a way would he walk around naked around your sister too? No, no

[00:23:34] You do to me. It was like a man thing. Yeah, it was like a like a sawn a little bad by your

[00:23:41] 5 foot 5s that African father. I fucking I remember I just had a flashback to being like

[00:23:46] I don't like eight or something with my cousin we were hanging out in his room and like

[00:23:51] Like I was either it started with either me or him in the bed

[00:23:55] And like we both had shorts on and like so I was like underneath the cover

[00:23:59] But I was like fully clothed. Yeah, and I could drape the blanket over my leg

[00:24:03] But then pulled the shorts up and then drape like the blanket over and I was like this look like I'm naked

[00:24:07] You know like we like we laughed we thought it was funny

[00:24:10] So we kept doing it like do look like I'm naked or whatever and like you got down and where we just had underwear on

[00:24:15] But then we were like draping in a certain way where it's like, you know

[00:24:18] It looked like this is looking for like laughing hysterically and then he he was like I gotta go to the bathroom

[00:24:23] So he goes down the hall into his parents room to go to the bathroom and fucking I just took all my clothes off

[00:24:29] And I like tucked the sheet through my legs and then in my ass

[00:24:34] Came up and just barely covered my dick

[00:24:37] And then like but it was stuck in my at the same and then so like I walk in his parents room

[00:24:41] Just dragging the sheet through my legs

[00:24:54] I'm like crying laughing because his joke had been going on for like 15 minutes or eight

[00:24:58] So we think it's hysterical and I go in the bathroom and he's in there with his mom

[00:25:02] And like they're just like talking and I'm like does it look like I'm naked and like

[00:25:06] She's like

[00:25:11] Behind me my uncle is coming on the hall and he's like put the fuck

[00:25:17] And I just he's the behind so he can see my ass

[00:25:24] Shoved up my

[00:25:28] And they're like what are you doing? I'm like we're playing a game or it look

[00:25:31] Where you look you're supposed to look like I can't really explain it

[00:25:37] They didn't even cover it all or she's just like you're on your own. Yeah, no, I mean we did weird shit like that all the time

[00:25:43] So yeah, it was same with me my cousin. I mean you guys are the same around the same age. Yeah, you're younger

[00:25:49] Yeah, me and my brothers there's I was looking through my mom. I was home and

[00:25:54] My mom's birthday and I was looking to like old pictures and shit

[00:25:57] And I just found a fucking picture. There's three pictures me and my brothers

[00:26:03] We're all holding hands naked each sitting on a watermelon

[00:26:09] We were four two and two

[00:26:14] We're smiling first of all who the fuck is taking the picture and then your brother's twins. Yeah, they're twins

[00:26:19] Are they fraternal to eternal? Yeah, yeah, what does that mean? It just means they were born at the same time

[00:26:24] I'm a test you baby. Yeah, so why you're morbidly obese. No dude. This is peak. This is science designed

[00:26:35] Like a Nike commercial

[00:26:38] Dad on a treadmill

[00:26:41] A machine just sucking my dad

[00:26:46] Your dad jacked off for you to live for you to exist. I'm a product of beating off. Yeah, that's so matter how much

[00:26:52] You guys be off you'll never beating off will never be as important as important as it is to me

[00:26:56] Yeah, beating off caused my life. Do you think my dad said something to me?

[00:27:00] And I was like you have to be lying. I was in accident

[00:27:03] You're an accident. Yeah, well they had

[00:27:07] They had kids from previous marriages. No, no, no, but I don't think they were engaged or whatever before my mom got pregnant

[00:27:13] Oh, okay, you just caused so much unhappy shit

[00:27:16] Your people's lives before you even existed. Yeah before you even came in the world

[00:27:21] So my parents tried so much harder to have my parents wanted to have me my oh, yeah, so much more than your parents

[00:27:31] I like legitimately destroyed my parents

[00:27:38] It's like you know when people are like don't blame yourself with divorce was like how why would I do that?

[00:27:43] Then I turned to become an adult and it's like oh, yeah

[00:27:47] They should have been married in the first place. Oh, yeah, it's not blame the divorce is blame you the for the marriage

[00:27:52] Yeah, blame yourself for the marriage

[00:27:56] Fuck yeah, dude. My dad was beaten off. Yeah, it's funny. My parents used to like it cost so much money

[00:28:01] It took them a long time. Yeah, I have kids and it's like fuck man

[00:28:05] I wish we had like any of that money if you could have just fucked. Yeah, they spent a ton of money

[00:28:09] How much does money does it cost dude in vitro in vitro fertilization costs like a shit ton of money

[00:28:16] I was the second round like it's like ten grand thousands of 10 grand to go

[00:28:20] Yeah, just to try yeah

[00:28:21] Yeah, it's like one cycle or five times

[00:28:23] Yeah, and they try everything else before that yeah

[00:28:26] In fact the only reason we're even not in Greece is because they just they literally didn't have that technology anywhere

[00:28:31] But America in the 80s. Yeah, that's so fun. Yeah, man

[00:28:35] Same with my sister they wanted to have a sibling for me and I was in the I was in like the second batch of kids ever born

[00:28:41] Like I feel like I feel like yeah. Yeah, that's early. I feel like I should have been kicked out of America

[00:28:47] He deserves to be here. Yeah, that's right bitch

[00:28:50] Yeah, well

[00:28:51] I remember my dad was like we were at a dinner party and he was just being inappropriate in front of kids and like yeah

[00:28:58] You know the the the company hitting on your sister's the company was laughing

[00:29:02] So he kept going with the story and he was talking about how they sent him to the bathroom to jack off like to make my sister

[00:29:08] And I always have this image growing up of like a public restroom like like a stall at a public restroom

[00:29:15] Your sister used to be a fucking puddle in front of a urinal just my dad

[00:29:21] Look at a smelly like you're you guy and then he just slapped it

[00:29:27] Doctors like ten thousand dollars

[00:29:29] Oh

[00:29:32] Willy-oh

[00:29:35] The wrinkly in the of each I wonder what my dad beat off that I want to know that's the other thing

[00:29:39] Yeah, I want to ask my dad. He got porn. They give you porn. Yeah, I wonder what porno that was the first craze that doctors have

[00:29:45] That was the first that was the first end up joke. I ever wrote

[00:29:48] What was that that like I was beating off to a picture of Marilyn Monroe, which was true

[00:29:52] I was beating off to like vintage porn one day. I was like 15

[00:29:55] Yeah, and then I had this like thought we wearing a fedora

[00:29:57] Yeah, it was you're being a real classic why I was really into like a swing revival

[00:30:02] Yeah, right, so I'd wear my zoot suit and beat off and eventually it became filled with comm as

[00:30:10] Happens to all zoot

[00:30:12] If I would take a long time to fill a zoot suit. Yeah, yeah, they're very good. Take years

[00:30:17] I don't think I'm how long do you think how long do you think it'd take you to fill a zoot suit a live with a lifetime?

[00:30:22] Well anyway back to the my brilliance first stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said let's go around

[00:30:29] I was I was jacking off the picture of Marilyn Rowan. I thought holy shit my grandfather

[00:30:34] Could very well have beaten off the same exact picture. Yeah, four porn images back of course

[00:30:41] Yeah, and like that first I got weirded out, but I thought you know I should be more open-minded

[00:30:46] He's gonna die soon. I don't really spend much time with them. We don't have anything in common

[00:30:50] It's like maybe I could use this

[00:30:52] To spend more time with my grandfather and so now me and my grandfather get together every Saturday and we beat off

[00:31:00] The Maryland and I'm a joke. That's a good joke. He hands me a Werther's original at the end

[00:31:07] And I used to do an act out with my grandfather like keep going

[00:31:10] That's it that's very good. Yeah, I love you nickel is

[00:31:20] That was yeah, it was my first that's pretty good. Thanks. I don't remember what my first first bit was

[00:31:25] But I had one horrific bit. Yeah, where it was so funny how bad you are at stand up when you first

[00:31:30] Oh my god, it's so bad. I had a bit that was like something about I don't know

[00:31:37] Just wanting to be fat enough that or not fat enough that I could wipe my ass or something like that or there

[00:31:43] Here is here was this fuck the when things are going tough

[00:31:47] This was the bit I brought out to get everyone back, you know my first my first couple months where it was like

[00:31:54] Something about the punchline was I was like yeah people are outside

[00:31:59] Everyone's out out and about hanging out. It's like, you know, I really don't go out people like hey stuff

[00:32:04] We're we're you we were all hanging out Saturday. I was like, oh you want to know where to find me on a Saturday night

[00:32:10] Where everyone's out having sex with each other file paddle your canoe up the river of semen and tears

[00:32:24] A very

[00:32:26] Bit when everyone's like and I see this guy and he just smells like a failure and depression. Oh, no. No, dude

[00:32:34] Smelling like disappointment. What is it? What was the one that was like it was like that's a variation that shit

[00:32:40] It was people were still doing the big and still doing it

[00:32:44] Here is people that say something like so, you know, I'm eating two different

[00:32:49] Wendy's frosties as you do you know as you do

[00:32:53] Yeah, they I've seen so many people do that but yeah things that like smell like failure

[00:32:59] Or taste like a hack anymore is to just not do stand up comedy

[00:33:05] And that's where I'm at I'm at the level of so good at stand up that you just don't even perform

[00:33:10] You just never go do spots you turn them down even very nice people offer them to you. That's beautiful

[00:33:17] That's very cool. That's called the new crush. I love it. Do you just not leave your sitting quietly your house checking Twitter?

[00:33:24] Yeah, checking the Twitter that you're locked out of

[00:33:27] You're waiting for ground notifications to pop up on my computer that I can't fucking respond to and playing Final Fantasy

[00:33:35] You bring your ps4 out here. I didn't bring shit, dude. Nice, man. Yeah, what's the family like the nice?

[00:33:41] Well, don't what you live with a family. Well, don't what you're a good what's your stand up for stand up joke at him?

[00:33:46] Oh, yeah, it was about oh

[00:33:50] Yeah, it was well, I think it's it's hack but it was about how of course it was

[00:33:54] It's about how right after you come and you're watching porn you start feeling like really bad for the girl

[00:34:00] And it's like and you're like actually she's not that hot and then but like before you come

[00:34:07] It's like you know like I want to fuck the shit out of her and then I'm like, oh no

[00:34:13] And then you come and then it's like oh you're you know, you probably got raped with your

[00:34:18] Damn, that was good dude. That was even better than human and tears. That's kind of like a like a hack Louie kind of I mean

[00:34:25] That's what was popular. I think also when I was starting stand up. Yeah, one of my first big bits is about Judge Mathis. Oh

[00:34:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah about like

[00:34:34] I would judge Mathis is my favorite TV judge cuz like I don't know he just I the joke was extremely racist

[00:34:45] Takes no nuts. Yeah, well not

[00:34:49] Terrible I was like I found you guilty of first degree maul fuckery

[00:35:00] That's very funny. Yeah, yeah

[00:35:02] I says you to 12 years a damn without the possibility cut me some slack Jack

[00:35:11] You really wrote the shit out of that black out drunk incredible. Do you well done in

[00:35:17] Incredible yeah, I forget the setup for it though was it I think yeah

[00:35:21] I don't really don't know how he became a judge. Oh, yeah, that's it

[00:35:25] The show starts off and the first thing you hear is him saying I used to be in jail and now I'm a judge

[00:35:30] It's like that does not make your

[00:35:36] My car broke down now I'm a kid right I'm raped a girl now. I'm woke online

[00:35:42] That actually is that's why it's basically the origin story. Yeah

[00:35:47] Is that why we're not well cuz cuz we don't rape I was trying to say that to a girl the other day

[00:35:52] Do what that's there's fucking during an argument

[00:35:54] There's so many fucking people that come after me online that are getting like really mad about it's always the guys

[00:36:00] He had mad about irony and then they have like these like tweet storms and then 35 in they're like look

[00:36:06] I used to be on something awful. I my name was nigger faggot 920

[00:36:10] Black church, but now I know better

[00:36:12] That's why I know that irony is bad because you turn into guys like Mullen

[00:36:19] Guys who do no harm to anyone at all

[00:36:21] They dumb shit with a friend on a podcast, but are very nice to literally everyone

[00:36:32] He actually is shot you are very nice, and you're a good friend, too. That's what I told

[00:36:37] Someone recently. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I love I love when people like someone saying like that. That's I can't believe he said that

[00:36:45] I was like well, he's a good comment

[00:36:48] Yeah, every anytime anyone mentions me in another context and a conversation with someone else. They were like, uh, yeah, somebody was

[00:36:55] Well, don't worry about the context or why

[00:37:00] I dinner with like Josh and Drozky the other night. He's like, oh, yeah, people hate you. Yeah, you come up a lot

[00:37:05] People really don't like you so crazy. No, I'm there. It doesn't make sense if you only look at my Twitter feed

[00:37:10] I guess I guess that's true. I just I just have known you for so long. It's the tweets are fucking funny as hell also

[00:37:16] Yeah, I actually thought I hate to say it that the the rape one

[00:37:21] Kind of funny not bad. What I'm not gonna say it wasn't like hilarious

[00:37:26] I do it's first of all I don't remember tweeting it

[00:37:28] But I can look at that and know immediately the context the conceit is it's it's literally sarcasm

[00:37:35] Of course the joke is that rape isn't inherently funny, right? Right don't fucking know how yeah

[00:37:40] There's even people like in that when people getting mad responding to it like oh wow rape so funny

[00:37:46] And it's like that is literally the same exact thing I said that you are doing that's the point of the joke fuck

[00:37:51] Yeah, I know oh people are fucking pieces shit, but whatever. I don't yeah, I don't fucking

[00:37:56] Religate music dumbass online. I'm so I'm free now. I don't have to be on the internet. Are you done with the internet?

[00:38:03] Yeah, you go you do Instagram

[00:38:06] Yeah, so I'm off so I can't Instagram is the only place you're allowed to be sincere. It's Graham banned me

[00:38:11] Yeah, you could take a pretty picture and put that up. Yeah, I do that sometimes

[00:38:14] I just I'm like depressed or whatever

[00:38:18] Such gay shit on Instagram

[00:38:20] Car show you these seven pictures of that was funny. That was funny cuz you flood people's feet. Yeah. Yeah

[00:38:25] I did I took a picture of every car at the auto

[00:38:29] No, but sometimes I'll do cars like there's some I saw like there was a

[00:38:32] Mark seven and I'll see mark seven in my neighborhood that take a picture of

[00:38:37] And I saw the other day a Chevy celebrity with a continental kid

[00:38:40] Which what the fuck is that it's like the the body kit what now it's the tire on the back

[00:38:45] Well, Chevy celebrity is like a fucking front engine like mid-sized GM piece of shit sedan from like a 1980 to great name

[00:38:54] Yeah, well, it's yeah, like come on Chevy celebrity celebrity Chevy

[00:39:00] 4 million air

[00:39:03] I mean, yeah, it's a piece of shit car and then but somebody had a continental kid on it

[00:39:08] Which is the the wheel on the back. Oh, okay, fifth wheel. We saw that rolling in slab culture

[00:39:14] It's called a fifth wheel. Oh nice if you're familiar with slabs what slab means labs are like

[00:39:19] It's like a thing in the south like Texas guys and Atlanta guys. They get big old like a big body cars

[00:39:25] And they put yeah, they put you know like full-size Americans today

[00:39:27] It's like underbody lights on them and then it's usually there's a common

[00:39:30] Okay, it's kind of an old kit that folds forward in the trunk open and then like neon lights

[00:39:34] So I'm on the trunk and then you put like, you know

[00:39:37] So

[00:39:40] Yeah, well the bills are you know like whatever like road masters. Yeah, but they're cool. Yeah, those are usually their candy paint of course

[00:39:49] Oh, man, can't even we did bring up pin my ride, but goddamn that was awesome

[00:39:53] I remember like just being a dumbass 14 year old and being like yeah, dude. I'm gonna get my fucking ride pimp, dude

[00:39:59] Yeah, well, it's like I'm gonna have a bouncy house out of my fucking Chevy fucking that was such a bizarre show cuz it's like

[00:40:04] You know, it's like ah my car like you know, it sucks and then it's like great now

[00:40:08] I'm gonna be the fucking white guy that drives to sizzler

[00:40:12] fucking Austin Powers gold member

[00:40:16] That is getting stripped so quick. No that car is getting fucking robbed

[00:40:21] So quick and turn out that they didn't actually ever get the cars or like no they got the car

[00:40:26] But they didn't do any mechanical work on them. Oh, that was it. It was all fabrication. Yeah, so you went on that car because shit. Yeah, yeah

[00:40:34] Yeah, and like imagine how quick all the if you're running all that power out of it. Yeah, they picked that zap your gas

[00:40:39] Yeah, well the problem is no one would watch a show where they were just like yeah

[00:40:43] We'll fix your fucking you know, we'll do a top end restoration on your fucking shitty civic or whatever

[00:40:49] You know no one will watch no so but then for like budget reasons

[00:40:53] I'm assuming they couldn't I mean maybe they did fix it on some of them, but yeah, that's a that never watching

[00:40:58] It's like you never watched it. No, I watched it all the time

[00:41:01] Why didn't I have cable at the time but poor bitch? No my just my mom just was like

[00:41:07] She would made weird decisions with how she would spend her money like she just wouldn't use the heater

[00:41:12] And I'm sure we could have afforded K right right right?

[00:41:14] She had her tithe to the fucking anti-juke club that she was in was too high at the time

[00:41:19] He was paying they decide what's on the TV exactly dude

[00:41:25] But yeah, no monster garage I remember my dad had like a

[00:41:31] VHS tapes of monster garage that he would give to me

[00:41:37] Pit my ride for white dads

[00:41:41] West Coast no was like yeah, West Coast shoppers is Jesse James

[00:41:44] It was it was a show where he like assembles a crew of fabricators or mechanics or whatever and they take a car

[00:41:50] And they have to do something with it like they had one where they'd turn a limousine into like a fire truck

[00:41:54] Oh, tell you yeah, so they had to like like design like a custom trans that's pretty cool

[00:41:59] Yeah, it was a cool show didn't that guy cheat on Sandra Bullock was a white trash bitch

[00:42:04] Was he a wrestler before he was a car guy? No, no, he was always a car guy

[00:42:10] Really cars in motorcycle. Yeah West Coast chopper. Just yeah, he just embodied that outlaw

[00:42:17] Lifestyle, yeah, well, I like I mean I I don't understand why people were mad at him for like cheating on a woman

[00:42:24] Marriage didn't work out. I mean they were married for a long time right right? Oh, he cheated on Sandra on Miss

[00:42:31] Congeniality she is hot as he heard her though dude

[00:42:33] I don't know Sandra Bullock's old age like she's what in her mid-50s

[00:42:37] It's like and it's like her and fucking she she got that space movie. Yeah, oh

[00:42:43] Homegirl was falling. Oh in a car where they're floating. Yeah, yeah gravity gravity

[00:42:49] Movie socks dude. She was looking good as opening

[00:42:53] Sequences really cool gravity is the dumbest movie I've ever seen my mind. It's no it was fun to watch

[00:42:58] But like I love that I never was I was Sandra Bullock doing some kind of shit on a fucking space station right and she's scared to be in space

[00:43:06] George Clooney floats up to his eye. So what are you doing up here?

[00:43:10] Like he's essentially asked her like what's your mission or whatever and she you know its exposition just to explain it to her whatever but like

[00:43:18] He would know of course if there's no way. There's no way you wouldn't know what your co-worker in space

[00:43:25] I thought he was doing like a charming bit like oh fancy seeing you here. That's not how I interpret

[00:43:31] Oh, no, I thought it was like oh, there's only you have to understand as a spectrum observer

[00:43:39] There was a lot another thing that makes that movie fucking stupid is a whole time

[00:43:43] She's this like morose dickhead is like, you know, I just couldn't really do anything with my life since my daughter died

[00:43:49] I've been completely immobile. It's like what do you mean? You couldn't do anything besides be a mom and

[00:43:54] Right also, she's like scared. She was just a doctor, right?

[00:43:58] And then they put her in space like a t-shirt the people that want to go to space

[00:44:02] Fucking their whole lives are trying to go their dicks are so hard for space. No one is like oh, yeah

[00:44:08] like it's like that fucking what was a

[00:44:11] Armageddon the Ben Affleck oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a getting some pussy

[00:44:16] Yeah, we watched that clip last time what accent does that make sense in I'm a good almost getting a symposy

[00:44:22] Cajun case. Yeah, I'm a get us almost good in some pussy. I'm a good

[00:44:26] Armistice

[00:44:28] Man I kind of I wish I was Cajun. I wish I had awful fucking teeth and I was scary and you could fucking wrestle

[00:44:36] That was missing a couple of fingers

[00:44:39] That'd be cool nubs. Yeah fingering a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel school. Yeah, boo-fault

[00:44:45] Do they think Francis gay there?

[00:44:47] Yeah, probably they do the same way that be they think the same way everyone else

[00:44:51] They think the north is gay. They all have like French names though. Yeah, well there they're probably do they respect Chris

[00:44:56] Quebec think Francis gay. No, they probably respect that right like France. I don't know

[00:45:02] Fuckin I can't wait till Marin Le Pen gets in there, baby. Yeah, yeah, I mean get those fucking Arabs out of France

[00:45:08] Yeah, where they gonna go where the Arabs gonna go next I don't know man Japan

[00:45:14] Didn't Japan is like one of the most closed off countries in the entire world. They let in like 20 refugees or some

[00:45:19] 28 refugees. I think that's why and they only got in after a karate tour

[00:45:24] I think that's half the reason I probably gonna get blue back half the reason why I think the alt-right guys are so into anime

[00:45:30] Because it's like it's a racially pure society. It's the most racist country in the world

[00:45:35] I just they're like this is what pure racism can create these cool Pokemon. That is true. Yeah

[00:45:41] But anime wouldn't have like none of Japanese culture would have happened if it weren't for the American occupation after the war

[00:45:46] And also for bombing. Yeah, is that right? We got him. Yo two-time chaps, baby

[00:45:52] It's their weird like Japanese interpretation of American culture. It's cool. They do it cooler than us because look at China

[00:45:59] What is China ever made? Nothing?

[00:46:02] What do I owe China? Oh, hey, whoa egg rolls dude. Oh, yeah, that's sure dumpling soup dumplings. Yeah, yeah

[00:46:10] And crochet tiger type shit. That's how about I'm in this the neg rolls

[00:46:15] Right, and it's a fortune cookie that you give to a girl and it's like it's like you're ugly shit, so

[00:46:22] Nice sweater. My mom's got the same one. Yeah, you look you look like fucking shit. I love you

[00:46:28] That's how the nagging works, right? Yeah, you fucking dumb bitch, please marry me

[00:46:33] Can we go out can we can we fucking follow all the rules of pooas the poo roll out one night?

[00:46:39] They work they work 100

[00:46:41] Actually, you know the funny thing is is that when I hear that I like think that there's no way that works

[00:46:46] There's no way you take a dewee, but he goes out

[00:46:48] He does that but my friend that was gonna become the rabbi me Georgie on Tommy decided at

[00:46:54] At 14 like 15 he was just like I'm gonna fuck

[00:46:58] I'm gonna fucking fuck dude, and he got all these he downloaded off kazan towards these CDs from this guy Ross Jeffries

[00:47:05] Okay, yeah, and check I live in Montreal who Ross Jeffries. Yeah, I don't know

[00:47:10] But it's the guy who they based Tom cruises character Magnolia really yeah, and basically like he would tell me like the the

[00:47:19] Patterns I mean it's it's terrible. I mean it's it's literally like manipulation through cyclone. Did he fuck?

[00:47:24] Yeah, he fucked like four years before anyone. I'm me Georgie. Oh, he fucking pushed

[00:47:28] I remember being 15 Ross Jeffries type shit. I'm a 15 being like I was I have to fuck now or I suck

[00:47:36] Yeah, that's exactly what I fucked well no like two or three times like not me two or three different people

[00:47:41] Yeah, no me. Yeah, no me. Yeah. No, I fucked. No. I remember just like turning 15 and or be maybe I

[00:47:49] Was like yeah, had you kissed yet?

[00:47:52] Once but like really yeah, I just went right into fucking you ain't kid to fuck. Yeah, where did you fuck for the first time?

[00:47:59] I

[00:48:00] Think technically in a parking garage. Oh, yeah, because there was a lot of those like she older no she was much younger

[00:48:10] Wait, so why you were in a car you were outside. Yeah, because we were like

[00:48:16] We were like hanging out. That's why I

[00:48:18] Was like let's like where are we gonna fuck and it's you know just parking rots was available nice. She had time

[00:48:24] No, she was ugly shit. Yeah, I mean she was okay. Yeah, which she up to be I have no idea

[00:48:31] That's why I like has it I've talked about it. Yeah, it's like what if that's a normal person. Yeah, definitely is

[00:48:35] Let's find out who that is

[00:48:39] Yeah, probably

[00:48:41] She's a come boy. Yeah. I wish I fucked as a child man

[00:48:45] Yeah, I wish I fucked other children as a child that would have been cool

[00:48:49] Yeah, cuz then you get to look at fucking anyway, but these Ross Jeffries things

[00:48:53] Yeah, you just get back to that he used to put like so he'd be like

[00:48:58] You put like this the thing that you want the girl

[00:49:02] To do in like a sentence but out of context. So he'd like he'd be like personally

[00:49:08] I think women should be below me and he'd like say below me

[00:49:14] But he but they think that they'd interpreted to say

[00:49:19] below

[00:49:21] But no he'd like subliminal

[00:49:24] Simply drink that yeah, and I'm like Tommy. That's the dumbest shit. I've ever heard my entire life

[00:49:28] I'm trying to fuck these girls. I just and then a week later

[00:49:33] It was like the most shocking thing in the entire world

[00:49:35] I was like that's the dumbest shit. I've ever heard no

[00:49:37] I remember when I was like when I was a teenager and I would fuck my move like it would I would hang out with a girl

[00:49:43] For like an hour and be like so we're gonna music you like that kind of shit and it'd be like well

[00:49:47] Do you wanna have sex and like I would just be up front about it. Yeah, I would just ask and they'd say like yeah

[00:49:53] What it just works that way? No, yeah when you're young and shit in there

[00:49:58] 27 or 28 years old haven't moved dude

[00:50:02] I just hang around and just like if it gets late enough I kiss a girl

[00:50:06] Like that's if you talk to me if it's past 1 a.m

[00:50:09] They also had so much more confidence as a teenager right because only emotional damage of your childhood doesn't really say

[00:50:16] It's a kick into your early 20s like there's if I hadn't started stand up at 16

[00:50:21] There's no way I would have the confidence to do it now interesting as an adult

[00:50:24] I just didn't give a shit about anything right right right yeah

[00:50:28] Damn should I try what if I just tried ashing girls to fuck me with that work now?

[00:50:32] I think you should do the poo of stuff the problem is is like now that's

[00:50:35] Raping behavior right rather than just being

[00:50:40] Yeah, he just said can we he just was trying to smash right yeah

[00:50:45] Yeah, I think everyone's saying he raped someone didn't he like fucking wake up in a bit within some bitch wake up

[00:50:51] Some woman wake up in a bit. I refuse to listen to these allegations

[00:50:55] Next rub the new

[00:50:57] The only case the afflac apologist

[00:51:00] In the world everyone's saying like oh this guy's a rapist so definitely did

[00:51:06] Raping and then I looked up what he did he didn't rape anyone did some fucking weird shit

[00:51:10] Did he go went to a girls hotel and said really though?

[00:51:14] He goes into a gross things he said he said some probably inappropriate things, but he didn't rape anyone dude

[00:51:21] Yeah, it's still fucking now. This is a rape apologist podcast. Yeah, that's what you've turned this

[00:51:26] I'm taking it. I'm taking an anti-case you did that with your tweets Nick. Did I know I don't said I apologize for all rapists

[00:51:35] Do you want to call somebody rape apologize me? I apologize?

[00:51:39] I'm sorry that happened to you in that context. Yes. I have a rape

[00:51:45] And I am proud to say it I can't wait to someone isolates the book

[00:51:50] You be like yes, I am a

[00:51:54] Well, that's gonna happen for sure yeah

[00:52:00] We're all going down baby do what we did Lewis what we did Lewis's podcast last week

[00:52:05] He said you guys did it without me. Yeah, we did the real last real last part fucking know that yeah

[00:52:11] Yeah, it was still left out. It was he wants to go in town. Oh, well. No man

[00:52:16] When is when is the other skype me in we should have skype to in but he said there's a picture of a

[00:52:23] he pulled up the

[00:52:25] the molestation at the Puerto Rican day parade and then there was a picture of a woman wearing like a

[00:52:31] Turtle deck sweater and like you know like a pig turtle like she looks like she just like she bought her whole outfit at

[00:52:36] And Taylor loft like clearly something that wasn't there for the parade

[00:52:40] But was like just try to walk through and then got God molested and he for some reason thought that she wore that to the parade and therefore

[00:52:54] Yeah, dude, I don't want to say

[00:52:58] This is all terrible first of all the Lewis impression is so accessible everyone doesn't even sound like Lewis anymore

[00:53:04] It's just not yeah, just got it's not you wore that you wore that to the fucking she she just heard

[00:53:13] Was fun we gotta get a mico we gotta get both of them on the fucking podcast who both we got to get Zach and Lewis

[00:53:19] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's excellent. It's a good Zach Scott. He's got zingers, baby

[00:53:24] Good at sitting back and then coming in with the heat. I didn't know I didn't know something on the less

[00:53:28] Is the Puerto Rican they were yeah? I mean

[00:53:29] It is I was it's just they were it's just all right. I was a six one. It's like soul training

[00:53:37] It's a line of God

[00:53:39] Just honking titties. I was I saw a video of like what is it?

[00:53:43] Carnie ball or one of those yeah, you know, it's like women just going around like

[00:53:48] Mostly naked just shaking like every part of it Brazilian women are made entirely out of ass material

[00:53:54] By yeah, that's why that guy shaking and then some fucking like Brazilian by guy walks by is you know

[00:54:02] Bones are fucking yeah made out of shake weights or whatever he's dancing and then he but he's covered in tarantulas

[00:54:12] Tarantulas crawling all over after just die like

[00:54:16] Six for big women after six for big did you remember that website? Yeah, I wish I could find that video

[00:54:22] That you remember that website Mike in Brazil of course like one of the first porn side

[00:54:27] I'm sure my also had an apartment complex

[00:54:30] I remember being like 13 and being like why doesn't just everyone go to Brazil?

[00:54:34] Why is like Mike the only guy that came up with this play? Yeah, dude

[00:54:37] Michael's fucking genius Mike also ran an apartment complex and a lot of women were short on rent and they had to figure something out with Mike

[00:54:44] It's pretty cool

[00:54:46] I think it's cool like in LA anytime someone says their industry to ask them if they do

[00:54:51] If they've ever done casting couch types. Yeah, I'm like a working like

[00:54:56] You know production didn't carry Fisher say she said she sucked dick to get on them in the movies Star Trek

[00:55:02] I think so yeah, really back back in the day. She's suck George Lucas's no no just in general

[00:55:07] I don't know that's someone he told me that no shit. It's probably I heard that Jar Jar had to do that

[00:55:11] Yeah, he did I think George Lucas insists on sucking people's dicks

[00:55:16] That's the rumor sure that's the rumor I've heard like he's just full of

[00:55:23] Funny is so funny. He double chis. It's all just because he doesn't know where to shave his beard

[00:55:28] He shaves it he's a he shaves it too high and he craves his weird Brian De Palma looks like that now neck thing

[00:55:34] Yeah, it's really bad. Well, no one ever told him like a beard doesn't end at your jaw

[00:55:38] Yeah, you know how to grow out and then you fucking clean it up right

[00:55:45] Fucking imbecile fucking idiot piece of shit fucking rich asshole you stupid piece of fucking shit

[00:55:51] I would like some of George Lucas's money. I would too. Maybe we should rob George Lucas while we're out

[00:55:56] You want to a fuck it. Yeah, right last coast. What is he living? We're gonna wrap this episode up in a minute

[00:56:00] What does he live? Can we fucking we got to do another one tonight, but you guys?

[00:56:04] so we should tell them about the

[00:56:06] The big the bit we're doing what we talking about the gay

[00:56:12] Beatles

[00:56:14] How did it go? I don't know that was kind of in the moment. No, we can get it

[00:56:25] Gay and with the bit. I love second off man. We got a really good song though. Yeah, it's uh, but that was a those

[00:56:31] I reworked and an older one. That's all right. It's uh, I need some hard gay sex

[00:56:38] Somebody fuck me like a dog

[00:56:42] Gay sex time me up like a hog

[00:56:46] And when I get home to you my dick is covered in poo and I feel all right. I got a chubby

[00:56:55] Fun

[00:56:57] Had with you, but I forgot it

[00:56:59] Oh, yes, I didn't even know that I was gay

[00:57:09] All right, you know what guys it's been a this is the first reunion in a while

[00:57:14] So we're gonna do a couple more reunion episodes and then for the big finale. I am going to kill myself

[00:57:20] I'm top of the Hollywood sign

[00:57:23] Goodbye