Cum Town | Premium | 05/16/2022
[00:00:08] Folks I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina at good nights. Oh
[00:00:14] June that's a good club June. I think 11th through the 13th. You check it out. Go to the good Charlie good nights website
[00:00:21] Charlie good nights or if you just go to I think you get my Twitter or Instagram. It's the link is in the bio and
[00:00:36] I'm ready to be done touring and then taking the whole fucking I think I'm gonna take
[00:00:41] July August and maybe even September off but in the meantime
[00:00:49] It's probably going out when I'm already in DC so whatever
[00:00:53] Whatever I don't fucking care San Diego. Oh Philly. I think Philly is the last one
[00:00:58] Wait, no in Providence the makeup COVID one, but anyway. Oh
[00:01:03] When I think my special is coming out the 22nd of May on YouTube, so mark your fuckling DERS for that
[00:01:12] Anyway, oh, that's what I was gonna do. I was gonna email my fucking piece anyway, all right
[00:01:17] I don't want to say on the fucking you know, this is family business
[00:01:24] But I'm gonna email some cocksucker about something that he's laid on I'll put it that way
[00:01:28] Oh, you North Carolina good nights June 9th through the 11th
[00:01:32] Very nice and you can go to either their website
[00:01:38] Link in the bio and then after that I will be in Portland, Oregon not not St
[00:01:43] Louis. I'll be Portland, Oregon from June I love that club June 16th through the 18th
[00:01:50] Go check that out and then New York. I'm finally I'm the homecoming. I'm coming home
[00:01:57] Carolin home June 23rd through the 26th. I will be there
[00:02:02] the world that I'm coming home and then I will be in Buffalo in July and
[00:02:07] Though my penis and then I will be back at Lincoln Lodge later in July and my name is Nick Mullis
[00:02:18] We're playing in Phoenix House of comedy Phoenix
[00:02:26] In Minneapolis or no Philly Philly then Minneapolis no Philly St. Louis Minneapolis Vegas
[00:02:34] No, Indianapolis, I don't know who gives a shit just go to the Raleigh one is the upcoming one
[00:02:41] I'll even know if these other ones are happening
[00:02:43] That's right you little fuckers and then I was supposed to be in Canada, but they had to reschedule that one because I
[00:02:50] The threat is your freedom fight threatened. Yeah, I threatened the prime minister
[00:02:56] Justin damn Justin sucked my dick when I was in Toronto. Did he? Yeah, I didn't tell a lot of people. Yeah
[00:03:02] But he suck it in inside or outside he sucked it
[00:03:07] It said really the Boston shows were fun little caught kind of a little depressing. I guess why you seem low
[00:03:13] No, I guess because it last time we're there was like right when that was like the first I think
[00:03:17] Wasn't that one of the first live shows we did with the podcast we did do a live show there
[00:03:22] You know that was that was our weird tour the Cleveland Boston tour. Oh, yeah
[00:03:27] That was fun as shit. You know what? Yeah, make a lot of money, but that was fun
[00:03:30] We didn't make a lot of money, but the Boston like that was like one of things first started popping right and
[00:03:36] It was adding show, but I remember the shows in Boston not being very good. Well, whatever
[00:03:41] They weren't they weren't but it was a fun time. It was fun
[00:03:44] There's a fun thing to go to place and sign out and do stuff, you know, I got I got my dick sucked wearing the boot
[00:03:50] I remember you got your dick sucks. I was still I still had the boot. That was a great time. Yeah, they put you in that
[00:03:58] Oh, yeah, doorbell. Yeah, the fucking wheelchair room. I had the handicap room. You got the retard, dude
[00:04:04] I got my dick suck retard starting that room. No, it's like that much
[00:04:09] I guess because these shows they were fun. They were good shows
[00:04:12] We had a good time so say for maybe the last show where they just they said this is the one we were putting the drunkest
[00:04:18] Yeah, right up front the Saturday late and letting them yell things from the podcast the entire show and not
[00:04:24] And leave them in the showroom the entire time that was yeah, that was the only one that was you even then I was an
[00:04:30] Animal, you know, it's no, no, no don't get it. Don't give them no no
[00:04:34] I'm what the that's very losers. I'm that's finding the weight the staff right now
[00:04:39] Not the people not the people but anyways yet other than that it was fine
[00:04:43] I mean maybe if it you know doing like four shows feels kind of like a waste rather than you know at least five
[00:04:49] You know, I don't know man. I'm starting to get tired of doing that many shows
[00:04:52] Yeah, I mean like seven eight that's brutal, but I'm doing so many the fucking improv
[00:04:58] I'm doing like I think I'm gonna do I'm seven at the improv. Yeah, I did seven coming home
[00:05:03] I did seven I'm excited to be in the improv but like seven is so many eight like I did eight at the Lincoln Lodge
[00:05:09] Mm-hmm, and it was they were great. It was fun. I love those guys. I wanted to kill myself the last shows
[00:05:14] It is just too many too much. It's a lot
[00:05:17] But you know because it's not even it's not even the shows. It's just you're somewhere for so long
[00:05:23] It's not your house. You know what I mean?
[00:05:25] It's like if even a chain like I've done that many shows in different cities, but to change a scenery's fun
[00:05:31] You're there's just some kind of depressing about setting up shop somewhere that long. Yeah, that isn't your house
[00:05:36] Because like for a weekend because the entire weekend. It's not it's not a weekend. Yeah, you get there
[00:05:41] Yeah, anyway, whatever it's still better than having a regular job everybody's listening to this at their fucking gas job
[00:05:47] But yeah, I don't know you could have some people have pretty cool day jobs like what
[00:05:55] I guess nothing I think it's being like a mentally retarded person. That's a caddy at a golf course
[00:06:01] Dude how fucking awesome it is when it's your break time and you got a Reese's fast break
[00:06:06] That's that happiness is better than anything
[00:06:08] There's a variance names Richard. I'm a retard
[00:06:21] Are there fluffers for female porn stars?
[00:06:25] Maybe somebody who sucks on their tits so they're all swollen when the scene starts no
[00:06:31] And they probably other guy that beat some up so they're already yeah, there's like a pimp or a Jewish producer now
[00:06:37] No, that sucks both of those jobs suck. Yeah
[00:06:42] Yeah, I guess never my guy who has to give her drugs to numb the pain sucks. Yeah, never mind. I take it back
[00:06:50] Okay, yeah, you're right. It's just golf course retort is the only good go first. Let's return or zoo lesbian
[00:06:57] Oh my god, yeah, hell yeah, that is awesome. It really is it's like there should be because this is the thing if you
[00:07:03] Like they didn't they shouldn't have ever passed laws out long
[00:07:08] Discrimination, okay, we just they should have just figured out progressive forms of discrimination
[00:07:13] Okay, lesbian should be the only people allowed to work at the zoo
[00:07:18] They should have first dibs on all those jobs absolutely and you can't and you can't be too lipstick with it either
[00:07:23] Oh, no, you give yeah, you gotta have a big dumb ass. Yeah big just so I get a wide
[00:07:29] Structural ass. Yeah, yeah, just like a base a strong base because sometimes you got a fucking a very lateral woman
[00:07:38] You work there forward shoulders strong. Yeah, maybe you can wear just a little lipstick if you work with the birds
[00:07:45] And those animals are respecting the shit out of that way. Yeah, she's the alpha
[00:07:49] She's going to go into the secret doors into the jungle closures your beloved keychain
[00:08:03] Damn dude that lady showed up at the fucking at the more acrossman recreation center on when I was in fucking day camp
[00:08:10] She came through with some little lizards some fucking oh she did like the jack
[00:08:14] Hand I had a talk really really bootleg that Canada would come to my my summer. You're me to
[00:08:19] Boa constrictor. I feel like that's the big one for kids and albino. I'll buy no boa constrictor never got the albino
[00:08:25] But I feel like most of them are albino
[00:08:30] They're like there's definitely a big snake one time. There's a bird. I hate
[00:08:35] I hate birds, too. I'm not a bird guy. They're dying. I almost went to pet go the other day anytime
[00:08:40] I see a pet com like let's see if they have a mccaw. Okay, they almost never do you've been talking about it getting a
[00:08:46] Parent for a long time. I think it would be pretty cool. Yeah, I think you should bite the bull. Now
[00:08:51] Do you think the cat would try and kill the bird? I'd they're too big classic looney tune style?
[00:08:56] I mean, they're fucking big. I don't know. They're loud. It doesn't cats are fucking ornery critters
[00:09:02] The call would be bigger than the cat. I know but it's I'm saying it might still fight. Yeah
[00:09:07] Yeah, the cat would be a fucking pyrric victory in which case I mean that they would both die
[00:09:13] Yeah, well, I don't think so one or the other okay the cat's been getting fat
[00:09:19] She looks alright, I've started feeding the cat whenever it wants food rather than okay because on the schedule
[00:09:26] Yeah, yeah, cuz she gets like really annoying and I guess she is hungry a lot of times
[00:09:31] But she'll just keep eating until she throws up everywhere. So I don't I hate when cats do that shit
[00:09:35] I'm trying to find a medium where it's like the cats eating as much as it needs, but then it also shuts the fuck up
[00:09:41] Mmm, you could drug it. No, I'm gonna drive. She was fine before she got spayed
[00:09:46] Then after that. Well, yeah, cuz now she's like there's no reason to keep this pussy tight. Yeah, yeah
[00:09:51] I'm not getting any calm. That's just nasty. No, it's a Amy Schumer the cat
[00:10:00] Well, it was like I saw the Northman you guys see that movie. No, I'm not gonna see it and I have my reasons
[00:10:06] Why it's the same reasons that people say online?
[00:10:10] What is it? No, it's no one online knows it but the two of you know it what something happened when we were in the cabin
[00:10:19] There's a gentleman that's in the Northman who disrespecting me. Oh, that's him. Yeah
[00:10:24] And I hear he's fucking ripped and he looks awesome. Oh my god. He looks so
[00:10:35] Dude, honestly something like that happened. You just got to tip your hat
[00:10:38] There's just certain things man. It's like all right. Can you imagine his penis? It's penis probably has a six pack
[00:10:45] Yeah, he looked awesome that movie was fucking saying told me a funny story over the weekend. I don't know what I'm repeat
[00:10:51] Oh, what the hell it's just it's a lab gossip. Okay. Tell me off that. Yeah, tell me off my maybe laugh
[00:10:57] Fuck let's get we're seen in here to tell the story
[00:11:00] Right if you want if you want you're gonna have to listen to micro scenes podcast and maybe oh
[00:11:05] True, he's probably saving all the good goss for his pod. Yeah the sauce
[00:11:08] But I think it's got a new name the sit sauce the sit sauce. No, he has a new one the wap saw
[00:11:13] Partly yeah, they do grub sauce grub sauce. Oh
[00:11:25] That's a nice little trio of white men of mayo ass white boys. I don't know they were white
[00:11:32] He didn't know did you think Sean was like a little bit maybe like Indonesian
[00:11:38] Michael somebody watch the end of somebody's HBO special. I think that's pretty obvious
[00:11:51] I haven't kept tabs on the HBO specials. Yeah, it was bad. Hey watch
[00:12:03] Yeah, he went to the library gospel we went to lunch and then I went back to hotel take a nap and Mike went back out
[00:12:09] To Shake Shack to get and I was like, what'd you get fucking three hamburgers? He's like, no
[00:12:19] Wow dad mode dad mode engaged. Yeah, you forget that Racine was was fat also
[00:12:25] He's got those habits. He's got he's got a son. He's gonna get fat. He's got those instincts. Oh
[00:12:35] Oh also today's my little brother's birthday happy birthday
[00:12:41] George no, they're twins. No and Nick. Yeah, they're twins. They are twins. Yeah fraternal
[00:12:48] I didn't realize that. Yeah, just one got born buff and one got born depressed
[00:12:51] Yeah, they really are like you put them together and it's me. It's like all my depressive shit is George
[00:12:58] Oh my like peppy you're their god emperor. I am. Yeah, I split down the middles
[00:13:03] My little brothers. They love and I weigh the exact amount of both of them together really now
[00:13:08] They're both big they're big boys dick is Jack George George keeps a little weight on him for the winter time
[00:13:14] But you know he's gonna fucking shed some LBS
[00:13:17] Yeah, go check out my brother's art. I'll shout about on the painter. I'll shout. I'll shout about on the free episode
[00:13:23] We're just kind of eating time on this one
[00:13:30] I'm already thinking about launch 14 minutes into the pod
[00:13:33] I'm thinking I'm gonna get mad at me, but I brought my life say what did you bring?
[00:13:39] Like a pasta what kind of pasta enough for all three of us
[00:13:43] No, why'd you bring a lunch cuz I don't know I had leftovers from last night not enough for all three
[00:13:48] Right. You're not doing meal prep or planning or anything. No, honestly
[00:13:52] I paid for the I paid for the food special and I'm mad at my girlfriend right now special Adam only lunch for just
[00:13:59] I see he just he doesn't want to he didn't what he bought some I deserve the leftover and he's afraid
[00:14:05] His girlfriend will eat it. No, it's from the house. It's from home. That's from home. It's from home equally equally
[00:14:10] Equally shitty, but also it's not directed at me. So in this case, I don't care
[00:14:15] You're telling me I'm a bad person for bringing my lunch to work
[00:14:18] Well for the reason your girlfriend can't have any of the food that you paid for well
[00:14:23] I don't know if she was going to but I just I want to it's mine. Probably not. She's at work, right?
[00:14:28] She's goes she's at her job. No, she's she's working from home today. She's waiting tables for my
[00:14:49] What kind of pasta describe it to me, I'm hungry. I believe in it's called like a midnight pasta
[00:14:55] What does that mean? There's like anchovy Steve Harvey prepared
[00:15:04] Garlic very simple pasta some colabrian chilies
[00:15:11] Sounds simple at all. Yeah anchovies and colabrian chilies. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you know everyone just has some anchovies and
[00:15:18] Calabrian chilies playing around a house through together. Just a little simple anchovies. I have a stock pantry
[00:15:27] Sucking on the midnight train to penis. Well, you guys can have my lunch. I don't want it sounds like shit actually
[00:15:35] Okay, so I'll have my I'm telling you thinking about I was hoping for a bull and a's thing about I kind of want to push out that window
[00:15:42] I'm I'm with Nick. I know it's the wrong thing to do
[00:15:45] But that is kind of my instinct right now to murder me when I will you probably be fine
[00:15:50] I heard the description of the break my neck and be an invalid
[00:15:55] Yeah, and then you could eat your gay pasta through a tube
[00:16:01] You think you'd be an invalid really from a second story fall
[00:16:06] Then we know how you fell I was pushed to so I'd probably land on my neck or something
[00:16:11] Me a naturally foot first I would land like Captain America lands. I don't know I was flying
[00:16:23] He would know in that moment he would unlock his true essence
[00:16:26] You don't possess this only in only under fucking duress can make find his super
[00:16:30] It's like the end of the Matrix were out there in the site the third one now the very first one
[00:16:35] Oh, where he is the one right before the credits. He's right right that was sick. That's bad
[00:16:39] That's the best ending the any movie at all. It's like he just does all this shit
[00:16:43] And then it's like the like the post script right before the crowds like and he can fly by the way
[00:16:48] He's fucking also much sicker also. He can fly
[00:16:50] That pissed me off actually cuz I was like well
[00:16:52] I want to see him be fucking flying and shit the same. Would you guys ever see the witch the movie the witch?
[00:16:58] Spoiler alert. Can I spoil it for you Adam? I don't care about spoiler. Okay. Don't you know
[00:17:03] I have to say you could have just said yes because by saying I don't care about spoilers
[00:17:07] Implicitly and the way you said it is too cool. You're saying that I who does care about spoilers is gay
[00:17:13] No, I'm just saying that up in your voice personally. I picked that up in your voice
[00:17:17] I don't mean yeah, I mean coming here you get mad at me for going at you
[00:17:20] But you've been coming in with some kind of
[00:17:23] Undertale what's my under there was plenty undertone in that I don't care about spoilers and what's the implied?
[00:17:29] I that's your that's your personally. That's your wrestling. It's a preference undertone
[00:17:42] Anyway, I don't know if I would lose the rest
[00:17:50] The witch yeah, these are good-ass movie a lot of nice tension same guy actually that made the Northman shout out to Eggers
[00:17:59] Anya Taylor joys in it too. She's Steve Eggers middle name. No nice try. Well, I'm just saying it's Nathan
[00:18:16] Anyway at the very end of that fucking I don't think it is
[00:18:21] You'd be like my favorite director Dave fucking Eggers
[00:18:27] That Nathan is a much more reasonable guess it's not that either, but it's definitely not fun
[00:18:36] Well, you could see why somebody would say Dave Dave fucking I do I do see their little drunk
[00:18:42] But I don't see why luring their speech so you think his parents named him that because his father was drunk when his mom was giving birth
[00:18:55] Anyway at the end of that wanted to describe the movie like it at a award show
[00:18:59] You know a list of the movies who came out they would probably abbreviated and and then I don't think they would the director
[00:19:11] Start with the last name they wouldn't say his full name. It wouldn't be and
[00:19:14] comma David Eggers now if you had a list of the nominees, right if you're announcing it, right? Yeah
[00:19:20] comma you've never been at a podium announcing a war that's true. I guess I've so at the godfather it would be
[00:19:38] Anyway at the end of the witch yeah, it's this Scooby-Dooie. That's Scooby-Dooie doo-doo
[00:19:50] Does give in to the devil she does become a witch and she starts fucking float like they start like
[00:19:58] Dislike fucking talk all their pussies are out and they're fucking flying and I was like bro
[00:20:03] I want to see that movie of these witches going buck fucking wild and there's a part of me that with the matrix was like damn
[00:20:10] I guess to a certain extent that did come but and the second one but I
[00:20:14] Don't know. I just wanted to see Keanu be Superman for like 10 more minutes
[00:20:20] Yeah, but then then you get raised against the machine right afterwards. That's true. It's a nice chaser
[00:20:32] Bum brum brum brum brum brum brum brum brum brum
[00:20:47] Don't know my I opened for my friend Riley at his power rebal doesn't count
[00:20:53] Well, I saw his band player doesn't count. I guess beyond that. I don't know
[00:20:58] Bob Dylan probably. Oh, yeah, Bob Dylan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw Bob Dylan and Stephen
[00:21:04] Yeah at the capital theater damn in the poor Chester, New York
[00:21:11] Oh, really? You took a little try you took a little fucking car ride. I'm gonna drove up those nice
[00:21:19] Apparently very bad everyone from West Chester is like that's the the Mogadishu Somalia
[00:21:25] Really? Yeah, oh, it's it's the everyone's the worst place. So you're telling me there's a whole thing of Chester's
[00:21:32] Is there an East Chester? No, it's our North Chester. I'm not that I'm not that
[00:21:41] But the theater itself is really nice. Okay. Yeah, interesting
[00:21:46] Yeah, nice place. I don't remember dude. I think I literally am not a big concert guy. I think mine might literally be HFS
[00:21:55] When Billy idle was one of the headliners was it's like 12 years
[00:22:05] I've been to like I've seen friends of mine play who I guess are real art actually doesn't count
[00:22:10] You know what I just realized no homo go ahead my last concert before COVID Bob Dylan my first concert after
[00:22:18] Oh my god, you you can't some things no homo is not powerful enough
[00:22:22] It's not a powerful enough talisman for certain no homo for certain kinds of gayness
[00:22:27] You could have sucked a hundred guys off you say no homo
[00:22:30] No, no, but you see Bob Dylan you say in which COVID no that's Dylan concerts no homo is not powerful
[00:22:36] No homo is an infinity shield. It's not for something everything you're saying is bouncing
[00:22:42] Yeah, no, I'm quite literally rubber and you are gluten. Oh, no. Yes
[00:22:47] Absolutely not I'm rubber because rubber is bouncy and I'm fat. Yeah, it's true glue because you're covered in calm
[00:22:54] Emiscially tired you're covered and calm and it looks like Elmer's glue
[00:22:58] But it's actually a bunch of guys come come is not that sticky
[00:23:02] Depends on how popular culture makes depends on how
[00:23:05] Hydrated you are really I you've never had stringy come or like or like, you know
[00:23:17] No, just like massive load big shooter Peter North. Oh, you're not it's true. You're absolutely not it's true dude
[00:23:25] Of course your your cum is like one of those fucked up eggs where like it just falls out too fast vegan
[00:23:31] Huh? It's like vegan. Yeah, it's like a vegan. It's like the oak of yeah. Yeah, it's not the real thing
[00:23:38] No, whereas I have hardy cum. No, I'm a massive shooter
[00:23:48] Ask any girl. They call them the Saturday night special ask any girl
[00:23:55] She'll shoot off for a minute. She'll literally levitate when you bust inside if she's riding it
[00:24:06] For a lot of it it slowly leaks out before like ten minutes
[00:24:11] Your eyes are rolling the whole time you're like
[00:24:27] Yep, that would be a cool way to come I'll give you credit for that. That's the free land special. That's awesome
[00:24:33] All right, I take back what I said. I guess because of that sing Bob Dylan isn't that gay? Thank you. I still think it's gay
[00:24:39] I'll just check the out as soon as you said that we're having fun Nick. We're having fun. Oh, we're
[00:24:48] We were having a pretty good time with that man. No, no, he's not I'm cruising. All right, let's come out of you
[00:25:00] His reflection of his penis today, you know, he doesn't allow mirrors in his house for this reason
[00:25:05] I know it's true. Especially penis like
[00:25:30] Yes, so anyway, I'm thinking it's been a while so I've been at this boat. They got my get my classic
[00:25:39] With that fucking Muslim bacon that beef bacon that chewy ass bacon. Yeah
[00:25:45] Now that's just too sinewy for I like it. Yeah until you get a good like twine in your mouth
[00:25:50] I know but there's something I feel like a cave string. It's just very feel like a caveman eating it. It's very salty too
[00:25:56] It's more jerky than bacon. Yeah, go that far. I kind of prefer turkey bacon in general at this point. No
[00:26:05] No, I fuck with the beef bacon. I mean I like poor obviously pork is the best bacon, but those little fuckers are smart
[00:26:11] Yeah, I'm getting sad when I eat pork these days. Yeah pigs. Yeah cute and too smart. I haven't eaten pork in a while
[00:26:19] Those fucking dumb motherfuckers can suck my dick with her arm
[00:26:28] That's fuck. So wait do Indians eat pork? No
[00:26:34] So they're only pigs I've never seen like fucking pork vindaloo on any
[00:26:41] Lambs and stuff lamb is fucking delicious and chicken me and they meet my guys in the Indians we got that in common
[00:26:51] Jews don't have a traditional lamb dish do they?
[00:26:54] Your shit sucks. What are you talking about there's name a good Jewish dish?
[00:27:01] And don't even count that you know like a $40 fucking corned beef sandwich doesn't count
[00:27:10] That's that's that's your best one and it's a sandwich. You know what I mean? I
[00:27:16] Don't know is that the bad I don't defend Jewish food. It's not very good. It's peasant food. Thank you. Yeah
[00:27:21] Some of it's all right some of it is fucking disgusting. I've just defeated you in single combat
[00:27:27] It's not like I'm eating that shit every day. Yeah every day you come in here with kafil to fish and matzo ball soup
[00:27:37] Let's see here my small soup is good. It's fine. It's just chicken soup with a fucking ball
[00:27:48] Anyway, whatever. Yeah, I could eat a bunch of but motsball soup
[00:27:53] That's just a bunch of like those are just premium saltines kind of mashed up together and it kind of can I be honest?
[00:27:58] I've actually never had a motsball shoot. It's pretty good. We should go for a bowl. I'm never getting a ball
[00:28:03] I might never have it in my life. Oh, that's fine. You'll have a good life, you know
[00:28:07] It's not like a make or break thing. Yeah, yeah
[00:28:14] Asians really I'm really a fan of the Asian because their soups are always at the spot. Yeah, whether it's far
[00:28:21] Sweet and sour so for a little free sweet sweet and sour soup is
[00:28:25] I you know what I'm saying you mean hot and sour. Yeah, the hot and sour. Yeah, I'm the one saying
[00:28:34] You were describing I saw said McDonald's I was describing something then why did you say it's really good
[00:28:39] I knew you meant hot and sour you you were just you couldn't wait to just to make everything about you
[00:28:45] Adam was Adam was torn in that instant between copying and
[00:28:50] Correcting. Yeah, that's actually the way to make him go on the frets. I was reinforcing
[00:28:59] So yeah, I'm now I'm just thinking about that sandwich. I mean, I guess I could have something else
[00:29:04] Adam Adam going to build a bear, right?
[00:29:06] Mm-hmm, and you know, they're like yes $20 for the bear and then you put whatever clothes you want on it and then Adam putting every piece of clothes
[00:29:17] It's filled a bear you said every any clothes. Yeah, you have different outfits
[00:29:23] Tiny at five the local Jewish man has put build a bear out of this
[00:29:29] Do you remember Lewis had a war with build a bear what?
[00:29:32] It looks like he like googled he wanted to bring James to build a bear. So you like googled build a bear and there's one
[00:29:38] Like the palisades mall. Mm-hmm. They had gone out of business like four years or like four months prior or something
[00:29:46] So then he like picked a fight with like a different build a bear
[00:29:49] He's like why the fuck does it say it's like
[00:29:54] It's like that happens all the time man. You could have called. Yeah, right
[00:30:01] Damn dude, it's funny that loose is a good dad. Yeah
[00:30:07] Well, it's not that it's because you know bobby's a good dad too, but those guys that just didn't have a childhood
[00:30:12] Right, they become good fathers, but in the way that like
[00:30:15] Peter Pan is a good father. Yeah. Yeah, you know, yeah, you just give him whatever the fucking
[00:30:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like yeah, I made all the James is better than a candy
[00:30:27] Yeah, it's not enough. It's like you don't feel like it's good enough just to not be addicted to drugs
[00:30:32] Right as a parent. Right. You have to really take it to the next level. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:30:41] Anyway, um, let's see. So the north men
[00:30:44] I re-watched the kings of comedy with the fellas had the night the crew going the best
[00:30:49] It was uh, yeah, I had eldest George Pete the whole team was there and we were just fucking higher than giraffe pussy
[00:30:57] Coming off the north men had just watched yannas beat the fucking bitch ass Celtics and we had a little
[00:31:03] Lull between the next game. Yeah, just threw on the kings of comedy man. It's the best. I will say
[00:31:11] Uh, bernie mac obviously is the fucking king and steve harvey is so fucking good at what he does
[00:31:17] Yeah, and uh, but dl dl dl and and said even Cedric did not really age as well. I don't know
[00:31:24] I like that said the one about how there could never be a black president. Yeah, I guess I'm telling my ain't got it
[00:31:31] Yeah, that was good. Yeah, and he does he does his clothes Monica Lewinsky joke. That's funny. His closure is
[00:31:40] uh, pretending to parallel park in space or yeah
[00:31:49] But you know the still work is great, but yeah, I don't know dl really
[00:31:54] I mean he did go first. It's just funny because like you could tell how much they respected bernie
[00:31:58] It's just like technically at that point. He was probably the least
[00:32:02] Successful. Yeah, but of course dl had a show on abc. Yeah dl had a show. They had a ton of credits
[00:32:08] But it was like you're going first and I do respect that about comedy
[00:32:11] It's like we all know who's actually like we know you know like dl could never have gone last on that
[00:32:17] He's like imagine i'm gonna follow bernie
[00:32:19] And then it's also like steve harvey in between is just like singing full songs. Yeah when he plays the songs
[00:32:27] He's like jane singing about love no more
[00:32:30] That's my fit. I love that part. That's great. Everyone's going crazy crazy in an arena where the hornets play. Yeah
[00:32:36] Like this is like lee director, but it looks great. It looks it does look fucking sick
[00:32:43] It's a titanic bit. That's the best love that one for sure love that one
[00:32:48] But it just imagine having to go next after
[00:32:51] You know steve harvey has just fucking been doing karaoke for
[00:32:57] Any harasses that guy the gangster. That's right. Yeah, it puts his coat on
[00:33:10] So the northman is about a you know guys uh sanichlos
[00:33:15] It's about sanichlos sanichlos somebody kills sanichlos is dead
[00:33:18] Yeah, he has to get revenge and take his empire in the north pole the north basement maybe perhaps since the guy that's just
[00:33:24] It's a black guy wearing a north face. Yeah, he loves loves north fed. They had they tried to take north fast from us in the
[00:33:36] That's ours. That's ours. Yeah. I want to see you belay for this. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:33:42] What is that a rock climbing thing? I think so. Yeah. Yeah
[00:33:46] I think you belay with another man's yeah, no, it's like come on. That's a stretch. Yeah, that's a stretch
[00:33:52] I say you I was a really love to belay. I think you lay down and get your ass fucked by a guy
[00:34:00] Missionary. Yeah, you're in mission. You belay down romantic form of gas like we can all drink
[00:34:06] Yeah kissing on the list kissing the guys the other guys dick is on your belly
[00:34:14] That's it is like rude gay guys having doggy style doggy style no way
[00:34:20] Yeah, cuz they just want to pretend it's a woman right of course. Yeah, like it's a prison
[00:34:24] Yeah, they're fucking good. You can get pussy. So they're pretending it's a
[00:34:33] Just having instead of fucking a guy. Yeah
[00:34:36] Like a fucking straight guy would just look him in the eye
[00:34:40] Looking at his penis being like you but i'm still fucking you they really should just
[00:34:45] Like have genderless prisons or not genderless, but like you know, they just like bathrooms
[00:34:50] Well, just make gender just mix everybody together
[00:34:53] And you don't think you don't think there'd be a lot of rape in that instance
[00:34:57] Well, maybe if you went to jail for raping women like you were a serial rapist you don't get to be in that one
[00:35:02] Then they have a separate you go to go to rape jail. Yeah, but for everybody else
[00:35:06] It's like you really shouldn't be getting fucked in your ass if you like didn't pay your taxes
[00:35:10] That's true. So you're saying there should be rape jail and non-rape jail. Yeah, exactly
[00:35:21] I mean they have like minimum of maximum security prison, but really that's like
[00:35:26] Is Matt is and that's like paradoxically maximum securities where you're getting your ass fucked
[00:35:31] Right there's as much thought goes into that as like I got a drawer for wires
[00:35:35] Right. Yeah, and then another one that's like batteries
[00:35:38] Right, but a lot of batteries sometimes end up in the wire drawer. No one really gives that much of a fuck
[00:35:45] Yeah, yeah, that is true. I wonder what the lowest level offender who got his ass fucked ever was
[00:35:53] You can like basically commit any crime and like the week of your trial just get away and be like yeah, I'm a girl
[00:36:01] And then if if they don't then you just naddle to the news and the government has to you, right?
[00:36:06] Wow, that's the senior the women's prison and then all the pussy you want
[00:36:13] You're the big man on campus. I did see a
[00:36:19] Genderqueer person and it's like people are like whoa do like because you know
[00:36:23] That's the thing where is it the criticism about like you know like trans people would just somebody would pretend to be trans to use like the
[00:36:28] Women's bathroom or whatever. It's like trans people wouldn't do that. You know, it's like that's fair
[00:36:37] Jail is already criminals. Yeah, that's what them. That's you know how junior soprano pretended to be
[00:36:45] My bosses need to start pretending to be trans that's the next step to get pussy
[00:36:50] Even imagine good fellas they're all wearing the scene where they're shopping up the garlic thin
[00:36:54] But they're all wearing wigs and dresses and then they all go out there was a mob guy in New York
[00:36:59] I forget who maybe it was just got he was just pretending to be insane. No, no that was the chin. No, yeah
[00:37:05] Really bad Vince Gigante, I believe was his name. Yeah, and yeah, he was pretending to be crazy
[00:37:11] Maybe we should turn this into a mo New York mafia podcast. I would honestly love that
[00:37:15] I read the five families. Yeah, so insanely good book. I might read it again the five families
[00:37:21] That's one more than four. Yeah and four less than nine the first number of nine eleven
[00:37:27] Holy shit. Never forget famously five plus six six is two more than four. This is the Italian numerator
[00:37:38] Yeah, Vince the chin he was fucking nuts
[00:37:41] Yeah, uh and yet he walked around like a bathrobe. They found him. I believe they caught him because
[00:37:46] What always gets you fucking side pussy. I think they really she was wearing a wire
[00:37:52] He had a separate house where he would fuck his mistress
[00:37:55] And I think he didn't he wasn't pretending to be crazy there
[00:37:58] And they found him or he would like they he would like fucking came in and like a bathrobe looking retarded
[00:38:06] Do you shit like that? And then they snuck him out and like a different thing and he just literally
[00:38:10] Hair combed like fucking fresh suit and they just caught him. Really getting pussy. So yeah
[00:38:20] Um, it's her fault. Anyway back to that. So anyway, I was on I saw some like gender queer
[00:38:26] A person who like had truly like the face of a
[00:38:31] Running back right like look like frank gore like and then just
[00:38:35] Some of the juiciest tits you've ever seen in your life, but the voice also of like a like a weathered
[00:38:42] Bus driver, right? Yeah, and they were talking about they're like they're like yeah, I don't know what gender I am
[00:38:48] But then they were like, but listen when I went to prison. I made sure I was in women's prison
[00:38:55] Imagine that that person was gonna get their pussy or I don't even know if they have a half pussy half dick
[00:39:00] I don't they didn't say oh it was like a
[00:39:03] I I'm not sure ambiguous. John and tell you I'm not sure but they they felt they talked and felt like a dude
[00:39:18] That person comes around you're getting it's got to be all that war against dibs
[00:39:23] On some titties. You haven't seen you've been fucking ass for so long
[00:39:27] The best days you've seen are probably on a fat guy those aren't good titties. No
[00:39:33] Although do you guys have that one kid and you're there was a kid in my element?
[00:39:36] Then my neighborhood that I grew up with and then there's also a kid in my high school two separate guys one was a great guy
[00:39:42] One was a I don't know. I think it was like half Arab half black. I don't remember what you're a perfect pair
[00:39:46] Perfect tits like I'm talking literally
[00:39:50] There was a like we took a video of them where we tricked people into thinking it was a woman and it worked
[00:39:56] And then we zoomed out and you just saw us tits you catfish
[00:40:00] Did you guys ever have a guy like that growing up? No perfect. Yes. No
[00:40:04] So you tell me I got two guys with processing too many girls
[00:40:08] No, you weren't about seeing a little kid with oh, yeah, that's a good joke. Oh, do you know it? Are you familiar?
[00:40:25] That it's good that you signed off on it 35
[00:40:28] Are you oh? Oh, you're 35 now are still happening
[00:40:35] Look we got to get through the rest. I know
[00:40:39] Keep doing that keep doing that people tune in for we got 20 like until I get my little fucking sandwich
[00:40:46] I know are you really 35? Yeah, that's hilarious dude. I was watching the same
[00:40:50] Why didn't you make more of a big deal about it at the bay your birthday? You know, I thought you're 36
[00:40:54] I'm supposed to be 34. That's hysterical. No, Adam's older than Homer Simpson
[00:41:02] Yeah, yeah, and he's gayer. Give me the vape. No, why I told you don't bring first
[00:41:08] You bring your penis mirrors in his house put him in a bad mood. Now you put bring the vape that I didn't bring any
[00:41:13] Not years. Give me the vape now. No, give it to me
[00:41:17] I'll give it to you, but I won't acknowledge it on the podcast. I'll tell everyone I don't
[00:41:24] God damn it Adam. Yeah, you sent it back down the road of vaping
[00:41:33] Baby baby peeing baby pineapple shake. Oh, you're still rocking with the pineapple pineapple shake. That sounds disgusting
[00:41:48] What do you think no pineapple for you? Let's do review
[00:41:53] I can't taste it at all. You was right. No, I'm good. Thank you. No, it's good. Don't get on a vape go fucking ruin your life, dude
[00:42:00] I've liked I picked up smoking quit smoking numerous times in my life always like relatively easy
[00:42:05] It's annoying for like three days. Yeah, you get over it. But once you start vaping. It's like that's it. Yeah, you're dying
[00:42:11] Dude, honestly, it's honestly it's also fucking it's the shooting up of cigarettes. It's really uncool to yeah
[00:42:17] It looks like she don't look like a pimp you look favorite. Yeah. Yeah, you got a particularly gay little cartridge, too
[00:42:23] I don't know that one lasts the longest. Yeah, but it looks stupid as fuck. Yeah, none of them look good
[00:42:31] So you know why because you're getting close to like
[00:42:33] The original vapors the guys with the big rigs that would have their own juice. Those are the purists
[00:42:38] You're getting close to that with those guys have become the coolest. I think it's the coolest
[00:42:41] Hey, that's swung back. Yeah, the Tommy Simbazos of the world with their like dragons. They would fucking shut up the coils. Yeah
[00:42:50] I bet you Tommy vapes. I gotta ask him. Yeah, dude. I was thinking we should go to fucking we should go do like maryland week
[00:42:59] And just go to fucking on the shore. Yeah, go to the shore. Yeah, I was a couple days involved
[00:43:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah, like just kind of do like a little tour of maryland. You should see if you're if well
[00:43:09] Now that I've announced it I can't but you should because by man, I have no access to the entertainment industry anymore
[00:43:16] Yeah, yeah, but if you could just like get just pitch a maryland show to the travel channel
[00:43:21] Like look, just give me $70,000. We'll shoot it. We'll do it on iPhones
[00:43:31] We'll do we'll get what I want to go is western maryland, which is like yeah the mountains the mountains
[00:43:36] Yeah, yeah, that's an unexplored frostberg. Yeah, the my brother went there. I know a little bit about calmerland area
[00:43:42] I've only driven through it ever yeah on the way to west vorgini
[00:43:46] And uh, it's real real pretty and then just horribly like depressing. Yeah, it's uh, I could never
[00:43:53] My brother still talks fondly about it because he was there for what's it's very very very very very very
[00:44:01] I don't know, you know, yeah, it's almost somehow it's like almost worse than west vorginia itself
[00:44:05] It is yeah, you go over the border and they're like yeah, it's supposed to be like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course
[00:44:10] Yeah, there's less it's less fun. Yeah, west vorginia. Of course. Half my family's been killed by brown recluse spiders
[00:44:18] Because there's one hospital seven hours away
[00:44:23] And then we had a school, but it was purchased by a racist
[00:44:30] And he might be the mayor also. I'm not sure 100% he's the mayor
[00:44:36] Yeah, dude. We're gonna get I think we should get some fucking Baltimore comics from one from the side bar days
[00:44:45] Then we should fucking eat we should go to different we should go to chimney's famous seafood
[00:44:50] Classy, you know, we should go to zorbus. I always wanted to eat cuddles
[00:44:53] I always wanted to go to move to southeast asia be an expat. I might have told this story before
[00:44:58] Like tai land or something and you open a restaurant for expats called ricki's tiny chinese penis. Yes
[00:45:04] You get like asian waiters that wear like tuxedo on top white tuxedo on top
[00:45:12] And then they you know, they bring you rice bowl and then you just fucking laugh at them
[00:45:15] Right, and it's like sort of like veranda style. I don't know what that even describes, but you know, I think there's a
[00:45:20] Tiki's outside. It's outside the open overlooking some water. Maybe yeah, just right in the middle of the jungle. Yeah. Oh, okay
[00:45:28] Okay, nice the tai land jungle ricki's tini's chinese
[00:45:35] Tai land is a different country than china. Yeah, whatever you would import the chinese
[00:45:41] It's just the name of it's even more insulting. Yeah
[00:45:50] Yeah, you get a half like a player a grand piano player piano. What are those like a styneway?
[00:45:55] No, the bozen dwarf that 800 thousand dollar piano. I don't know about the bozen dwarf
[00:46:00] Yeah, I get a big ass bozen dwarf. Okay, fucking player piano on and then I sit there pretending like I'm playing
[00:46:09] If you were an expat, would you go you wouldn't go would you go Asia? Where would you go if I was an expat?
[00:46:17] I don't know if we had to flee america me
[00:46:22] intellectual France. What are you talking about? You don't speak french. No, I'd be like a speak French and you're not an intellectual
[00:46:27] What are you talking about? You're the dumbest one on the show this this country has nothing for me
[00:46:32] And we're all stupid and france is the only place
[00:46:35] You're gonna leave. Yeah, I'll have salons
[00:46:43] Yeah, where would you go? You just go to Greece. I guess I guess I would go to Greece, but I don't know man
[00:46:48] Yeah, but I've been traveling. I've been traveling to your own country
[00:46:51] I've been traveling doesn't really count. I don't know, you know, I haven't been I've been seeing the world and canada feels like a cop out
[00:46:56] That doesn't count honestly like australia was pretty cool. I liked australia. I would move to australia
[00:47:01] The problem is you can't really do comedy there. No, yeah, you can it's just what do you mean?
[00:47:05] Yeah, you'd be fit in australia. You'd be like hosting the australia and oscars. Yeah, but you think this is low effort australia and stand-up comedy
[00:47:13] That's what I'm saying. It's yeah, it's such a book. Their language is comedy remember when we went to every sentence is a fucking punchline the way they
[00:47:20] Talk, I know it's hilarious remember we'd go to those like shitty bar shows and everyone's credits were like
[00:47:26] Okay, australia in HBO and we're all dog shit like there was like three good comics that we ran into and everybody else was so bad
[00:47:36] Canada's the same way where it's like you just meet a guy who's like, you know pretty funny and he's like been on tv for a decade in
[00:47:43] And it doesn't matter at all. Yeah, my sister of comedy
[00:47:46] They're like this is our best comic and then you talk to him as a guy with like skitsoid personality disorder
[00:47:51] He's just like seeing colors instead of
[00:47:56] Granite Canada does have really good comedians
[00:48:00] No the cream of the crop that move here. Yeah, of course, but that's like four guys over 50 years
[00:48:05] Have you seen a mod just for laughs? They're like they're like qua bequav showcase and it's like mimes. Yeah
[00:48:14] That's normal form with their shoes off. It's fine. That's pretty fun. Yeah, and then they try and do it in English
[00:48:20] Like one guy does an English. He's like the black guys that have big dicks
[00:48:25] Happen their jokes or just they all end with the like
[00:48:36] Fuck yeah, maybe I move maybe I move the amps you name right a little bike. What do you up?
[00:48:42] Montreal, what do you do for a living? I make a cheese
[00:48:56] That role so you speak French and English
[00:48:59] I think I move damn shame actually no that although the food isn't good enough
[00:49:09] Yeah, but the food sucked dick when I was over there where amsterdam
[00:49:13] It's all burgers and fries and mayonnaise is their big thing
[00:49:17] I'll be able to answer them and befriend Wim Hof and that's all just
[00:49:23] Just in ice baths with the Dutch retard
[00:49:27] Dude, I love that shit like yeah, because I like look because I started taking cold showers
[00:49:32] And uh, I was like, so what is he doing that's different? It's nothing
[00:49:35] It's just cold showers and then the breathing exercises
[00:49:37] But the breathing exercise doesn't he get his shit doesn't he get like his body temperature down just by doing that
[00:49:42] I think he he can yeah, but most people can't right and I guess multiple people have died doing his
[00:49:47] His exercise that's fucking awesome. Yeah
[00:49:56] He just does that for like 40 minutes. Mm-hmm. I don't know that guy Wim Hof
[00:50:01] He's this Dutch guy that like did a TED talk like 10 years ago about being cold
[00:50:07] He can like just submerge himself and ice they just put him in an ice block and he sits in there for two hours
[00:50:12] And it would like kill a normal person, but he can just he's training his body temperature with the way he breathes
[00:50:19] Like he meditates and he can like regulate his own like uh, like uh, what is it your
[00:50:25] Your sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system. He can like slow his heart rate down and change his metabolic rate
[00:50:30] I feel like if Blaine put his mind to it. He could do that. Yeah, probably
[00:50:35] That's the kind of shit. That's the kind of shit he does. Yeah. Yeah
[00:50:38] Yeah, some of it isn't even magic, you know, some of it's just feet feats of endurance. Yeah
[00:50:43] Yeah, well, the other big ones are like stabbing himself or
[00:50:47] Swallowing gasoline and then throwing cutting his cock off and swallowing it. Yeah, he did that
[00:50:58] He was raping with magic. He was using magic to rape. Of course. Yeah, why else would you learn magic?
[00:51:03] I'm filling his asshole with bullet ants
[00:51:08] He hasn't had a big like special in a while. He did a balloon thing during covid
[00:51:13] Yeah, he went up higher than anyone in a balloon
[00:51:16] Like helium balloons. That's not even then they're all like radio. They're like, please come down. He's like not yet
[00:51:23] Yeah, he was like radioing his kid. That's awesome. I hope you're proud of me
[00:51:28] That's awesome because that's really not magic. It's not magic like sitting in a fucking tank is one thing
[00:51:33] It's kind of hudiniish. Yeah, it's like how the fuck just doing up high. Mm-hmm. That's more like red bull
[00:51:41] That's the red bull little plane or whatever swallowing frogs. Well, he went up higher than anyone without like
[00:51:48] Oxygen without oxygen. Yeah, so he was like some crazy out like, you know, that's pretty cool
[00:51:53] It's like zero degrees. Yeah, there's no oxygen. Oh, that's magic. Yeah
[00:51:58] Do you remember when Michael Jackson was like David Blaine your magic is real?
[00:52:05] No, what was the context? He got like some award for like artists of the millennium and he just shouted out
[00:52:10] You just said that in his speech. Yeah, that's so awesome.
[00:52:18] Yeah, I got it for free. Oh, yeah, yeah, where
[00:52:21] I'm at the ryah guy. You just had a hat dude. Whatever dude. I mean people. Where'd you meet him?
[00:52:29] He goes to elbow rubbing events. He goes like he goes. You just you know, New York socialite. No, not not elbow rubbing synagogue
[00:52:39] That's elbow rubbing. What do you think is some sort of gala?
[00:52:42] Wood's cinnagery boring. You're hanging out in the parking lot after. Mm-hmm. You're like, oh, yeah, no, I'm just hanging out out here
[00:52:48] Yeah, he's you know, I meet a lot of great guys
[00:52:53] Get it's a get a free hat get some tips on investments. No, they won't let me you're not in that circle. Yeah, I don't trust me
[00:53:00] Yeah, that's smart. I think I'm anti-sad my because you would fucking run. Yeah, because you have just a harsh anti-Zionist
[00:53:06] I've talked to my shit about Israel and then you don't get the good stock tips. It's bullshit, man
[00:53:12] You fucked up. I did it to get pussy and now
[00:53:16] Now I'm fucked now you're frozen out of the Jewish now. I don't have any investment the Jewish investment circle circles. Yeah
[00:53:25] Yeah, that sounds uh, that sounds fucking gay to me. What?
[00:53:32] All right, now let me think long and hard about do I really want this sandwich? Do I want a different sandwich with a go on?
[00:53:39] Look a wide would be nice. Haven't had the go on in a while. Oh, you're talking about the eggs
[00:53:43] I kind of think I need breakfast though
[00:53:54] You know the big we covered in the beginning three eggs, but I'm trying to think can I go do I want to go a different direction with it?
[00:54:04] Would I be copying Adam if I got pasta?
[00:54:07] I wouldn't I wouldn't feel copied at all even if I got a less gay pasta that didn't have anchovies it had like red sauce
[00:54:13] You know cheese. I don't care about spoilers. I don't care about coffee. Oh, you don't care about copying. Oh, mature. That's very convenient. No, I'm sorry
[00:54:23] Let me just throw pasta into the seamless
[00:54:31] Like a delivery does not matter what you think this is my feeling. What's the international pasta house
[00:54:40] The eye of a pasta it kind of looks like shit to be honest with you
[00:54:47] Oxtail penne with red sauce. What is it Jamaican Italian fusion? That's kind of tight jerk chicken penne. It is Jamaican
[00:55:03] Disgusting okay, maybe pasta ain't the fucking move
[00:55:08] I've been on a little pizza kick recently. I got pizza two days ago. It was great
[00:55:21] Maybe pizza maybe pizza by would you where'd you get the pizza from imposto imposto
[00:55:34] Honestly, they do a great pie at that place and imposto. Where is it?
[00:55:38] Not too far from here. The Clinton Hill
[00:55:43] I'm not doing that right now. They can bring it to you
[00:55:50] So the northman what's that about Santa Claus? Yeah, what's the most so Santa Claus is dad?
[00:55:54] Jesus Christ. No, it's about what's Muhammad. What? Yeah, it's yes Santa Claus is
[00:56:03] Islamic that's what you find out. That's what you find out. That's crazy and Jesus killed him
[00:56:07] Really because he was jealous because he wanted presents. Yeah
[00:56:22] He has to ally with the Jews who want him dead for personal reasons and
[00:56:31] Uh, he kills Judas Judas actually was actually a cool guy
[00:56:35] He disguises himself as Judas gets a really big no fake nose
[00:56:39] They should have done a movie called the Iranian clause, right?
[00:56:42] And it's the night before Ramadan and Tim Allen is he's come home from the big
[00:56:46] Presentation at work. He's trying to rush him to his son, but he's
[00:56:53] And the police see it happen and then he wakes up the next day and his hair is long and he's grown breasts
[00:56:59] Okay, that's to live as a woman the Iranian clause the Iranian both
[00:57:03] Because he's he's there's no such thing as homosexual right now
[00:57:07] It's a transverse once you get your ass fucked you become a woman
[00:57:09] So you know Iranian because his hair and then it just grows back right away
[00:57:13] And then he keeps trying to hide his breasts, but they get bigger and bigger every time he tries to hide them
[00:57:17] And as he loses his son because of this the he's trying to reconnect
[00:57:20] Yeah, the wife takes him and then he you know, then he's just getting raped and more and more
[00:57:27] He puts on the burqa did crum holds explains. He's like you're a woman now living in a conservative
[00:57:35] Sharia law or you can't air out your pussy like that. You need to be wearing a burqa
[00:57:45] Explains to Tim Allen how he has to live as a muslim woman right and uh, and he just stays so woman
[00:57:51] Yeah, how does the Santa Claus end this he stays? Yeah, I was just wondering that they kept they kept making more movies
[00:57:57] It doesn't yeah, he becomes he becomes Santa forever. Yes, Santa forever
[00:58:01] That's in the wife the wife and the new husband, you know, it's more part of the the 1990s
[00:58:07] Every movie had to be a divorce movie. Yeah, it's called the Santa Claus and there's a divorce angle
[00:58:14] That is so fucking funny. Okay, doesn't somebody else doesn't he like pass it down
[00:58:18] Does somebody else become Santa Claus right because the clause is a clause in a contract
[00:58:23] This is Santa Claus and then there's the Santa
[00:58:27] Supremacy and then the super the Santa right ultimatum the Santa ultimatum
[00:58:32] And Jeremy renter picks up takes the the literal reigns
[00:58:36] Yes, that's where that expression comes that was the first uh born. I saw which one Jeremy renter one. Yeah, that's crazy
[00:58:44] I know but then we at the cabin had a nice day. That was a great day. That was a great day. Yeah
[00:58:51] Um, all right. Well, listen, why don't we pick up we'll go through all the Santa clauses during the free episode. We will
[00:58:57] And people people will be listening to that when they'll be like, I hope the fucking patreon was better than this and
[00:59:06] It will not be folks. It won't know. Hey, but you'll you found that out now
[00:59:10] But remember how naive you were on Wednesday after you heard the one where we went through all the Santa clauses. Yeah
[00:59:20] This week that you got it. You got if you're not signed up you got to sign up because this one was a bang
[00:59:25] Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna falsely tell you that it was really good and now you've already this all time
[00:59:32] All right, we'll get we'll get we'll get one real quick. We got 30 seconds to save the episode
[00:59:39] And uh mr. Coffee. It's like it's and I say is there a missus coffee. Is there a missus coffee?
[00:59:45] And then i'm burning my dick in the gas station. That's right. Fucking the coffee pom. Yeah
[00:59:49] And it's something like that. I don't know. It's like a sexual kind of