Cum Town | Premium | 05/23/2022
[00:00:00] We're gonna dress a little in the show.
[00:00:04] but from what I understand from this morning,
[00:00:08] He's recovered 60 to 70% of his vision.
[00:00:26] Next week we are back with The Fat Man.
[00:00:38] He's like, you don't understand what it's like.
[00:00:40] And I'm like, what are you talking about?
[00:00:47] Okay, so returning for episode two of The Adam Show,
[00:00:56] Let's get it out of the drum roll please.
[00:01:05] So today we have a fourth of some today.
[00:01:07] You know, they say, I saw this tweet, it was very funny guys.
[00:01:10] They say that three mediocre white men together is a podcast.
[00:01:24] We're gonna call us three mediocre white men.
[00:01:40] I don't know if Mike constitutes a full man.
[00:01:46] No, well, he doesn't got to do the full man
[00:01:50] But that took him down a couple not to...
[00:02:03] I wanna be on the same page with everyone.
[00:02:10] You know what would help me get on the same page
[00:02:24] Ian just took a shot at my looks, but...
[00:02:30] I mean, I don't wanna call here anyone's looks.
[00:02:32] I can't look at you like sexual beings.
[00:02:34] I'm sorry, Ian have sex, though, graphically,
[00:02:39] His girlfriend might be slightly performative,
[00:02:42] but it sounded like he was doing her job.
[00:02:47] I thought my wife two days ago said I'm good for that.
[00:02:49] Wow, let's give it up for Mike on that.
[00:03:03] Oh, my God, I put in headphones and I could still hear them.
[00:03:06] Ian was a silent sally, but she was losing her damn...
[00:03:11] Me, personally, you don't wanna be too loud.
[00:03:13] You don't wanna be too loud when you're fucking.
[00:03:25] Oh, it's like someone turned on a faucet.
[00:03:30] My girlfriend is quiet as a church mouse and I'm like...
[00:03:45] Where'd you meet your girlfriend, Adam?
[00:04:12] I thought you lined up at the bar and you pass it physically.
[00:04:18] Anyway, guys, this is four minutes and 19 seconds of...
[00:04:29] I'm getting a lot of Jew backlash from this catcalling- hiscitic Jew joke that you told me to post.
[00:04:35] Yeah, like a lot of messages from that.
[00:04:38] That I think that my depression cure is that I catcall hiscitic Jews in Williamsburg.
[00:04:44] Yeah, because they can't make eye contact with non-insitic women.
[00:04:49] They're like, there's hate crimes going on against Jews.
[00:04:55] You're doing the hate crimes with what you charge people to live in your buildings.
[00:05:00] I was like, it's not a hate crime to not make shit in a mini-die.
[00:05:04] And I was like, do you want to run me over in your mini-die?
[00:05:06] I don't think they're the representative.
[00:05:08] All right, so the claim is that you are advancing anti-Semitism and making life more dangerous for
[00:05:17] No, you're telling jokes, not being a black teenager in Bedstock.
[00:05:21] Now you don't bring the blacks into this yet.
[00:05:22] Yeah, why do you always have to bring the blacks in every talk of the blacks?
[00:05:25] You know, they for a whole summer, they wanted us to talk about race.
[00:05:30] No, they wanted you to sit your white ass down and listen.
[00:05:36] We didn't need your thoughts about how Michael Brown didn't actually say hands up.
[00:05:44] Next episode of the Add-a Show with Mike and Ian.
[00:05:50] You are becoming like an old conservative.
[00:05:52] The other day you emptied out your pockets and it was like Tums, more Tums, a book against
[00:05:59] No, it was called Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier and it wasn't against trans people.
[00:06:11] It happens when you have a mastectomy and Mariah Rimer.
[00:06:13] That's what a trans person did to Ian's asshole.
[00:06:24] If anyone knows about Irreversible Damage and trans people it's my idea.
[00:06:33] What is with the trans hate and the trans love simultaneously?
[00:06:43] When you have a mastectomy and you chop your penis off you can't have a redo.
[00:06:51] There is nothing braver than chopping one's penis off.
[00:06:58] I don't want to hear any of the slander.
[00:07:02] But I feel like anybody who chops their penis off they're probably pretty committed to that
[00:07:08] No one's like casually just chopping their penis off.
[00:07:11] Apparently someone told me that there was an open miker in LA that started to transition
[00:07:16] with hormones and then detransitioned and then was just.
[00:07:25] It just was like could not have sexual function was just like.
[00:07:30] So I guess that's what they mean by Irreversible Damage perhaps.
[00:07:39] One thing I do know and this is my P.Y.E. and so mad.
[00:07:45] One thing I do know is that if you are transamorous if you're a man that is into trans women.
[00:07:52] When a woman does the bottom surgery she kind of loses the attention of those men.
[00:08:01] Because that's the money maker because I guess they want breasts and a penis.
[00:08:13] They want their prostate, the G-spot hit while looking at a woman so they can deny that they're
[00:08:21] You just like say when there's a penis and boobs.
[00:08:25] You've had sex with a trans person who had top surgery and a dick.
[00:08:33] That's what guys that are into trans women that's what they were.
[00:08:37] That's what they are chasing from what I understand.
[00:08:41] And you have to read a book about how you're not chasing.
[00:08:48] You have to read a book about Ian, you're normal.
[00:08:50] The book is called Ian is really getting it wrong.
[00:09:13] And I remember my mom being like, she was like, oh, but that's just because you have
[00:09:17] We're going to get you surgery to fix that.
[00:09:23] Yo, did you guys have the lumps under your nipples when you went through puberty?
[00:09:31] I had a lump on my testicle when I was like 12.
[00:09:45] I'm very impressed that he just like touched my ball.
[00:09:58] You felt you felt alone when you were a kid and then you went in and you checked the
[00:10:26] That's the kind of thing you come to expect with that, I'm sure I think.
[00:10:36] What's wrong with the show being just handed over for a little bit?
[00:10:40] I think honestly it's been a really fun week.
[00:10:41] I told Stav yesterday I said I'm the last remaining host of Comtown right now.
[00:10:47] He had no ideas in San Diego right now.
[00:10:50] And I was like, no, actually it's going fine.
[00:11:11] My girlfriend was out of town that day.
[00:11:17] I was going to bring the baby and Deb was like, you guys were smoking in there the other day.
[00:11:22] Well, Deb, you should have thought of it.
[00:11:25] You should have thought of it before you let a comedian come inside of you.
[00:11:28] You're working for a whole lot of high school education.
[00:11:34] She was thinking this is really good, Dick.
[00:11:50] Do you feel like suicide is just now off the menu for you?
[00:12:04] I mean, that's a definition of selfish.
[00:12:08] I watched the Bourdain documentary and I was like loving him throughout the documentary
[00:12:12] and then I kind of thought at the end when he killed himself.
[00:12:23] I worked on a guy's house who was like main man and gave me the, I didn't know that he
[00:12:26] killed himself in relation to that woman who was like a.
[00:12:31] That was getting accused of statutory rape because she like she f*** the kid.
[00:12:37] She was a Harvey accuser and like all Harvey accusers, she was actually the bad guy.
[00:12:52] She was in a movie with like a younger boy actor, a phone, dude.
[00:12:59] telling me to send a veils it's it's telling you okay make us not smoke
[00:13:03] anyway don't show shut up but yeah she was in a movie with a younger boy actor
[00:13:07] i guess she kept in touch and then i don't know if she had sex with him when he
[00:13:11] was a minor but then they started fucking
[00:13:13] but uh... it bordane apparently according to the documentary
[00:13:17] was like they were paparazzi pictures that came out of her and other guy
[00:13:22] and he was like why can't she have any fucking discretion like this is fucking
[00:13:26] and he like fired people like on set that had been with him for twenty years
[00:13:30] they were like oh he's making like rash decisions
[00:13:36] and it's yes once again it is a is a woman's fault so yes it's not his fault
[00:13:41] you know when someone's written suicide directly because of you
[00:13:45] it's hard people like it's not anyone's fault but they're it's like hard to
[00:13:49] be like yeah you want to like honor their death wish which was to make it that
[00:13:53] person's fault yeah yeah yeah like him carries girlfriend and she killed herself
[00:13:58] and she was like it's because of Jim yeah really yeah yeah he was like i'm not
[00:14:02] Jim i'm Andy Kaufman and he was like talking out of his club
[00:14:06] Jim if you talk about one more time he was like I'm sorry he was like squeezing his
[00:14:14] cheeks and opening them and he was like go ahead bitch do it
[00:14:19] you won't incredible physical comedian guys we could all agree there
[00:14:26] yeah that's crazy that Jim Carrey drove a woman to suicide I'm gonna blame him
[00:14:32] I'm gonna he's great yeah I feel like for that but for his body of work tell me
[00:14:37] dumb and dumber didn't influence you comedically and Ace Ventura did not
[00:14:42] influence you to love trans women tell me oh yeah the everyone throwing up
[00:14:48] yeah we've talked about this on come time before really but finale of ace
[00:14:51] Ventura when you find out that she's a man everyone's a full pack of gum everyone
[00:14:57] starts vomiting it is so he does the whole thing going high nor nine or nine
[00:15:03] or nine or nine or nine or nine or nine or nine or nine or nine or nine
[00:15:04] he's wondering his face the liberals really don't want that kind of comedy
[00:15:08] and that'd be that be good that is the blazing saddles of our time you know what
[00:15:13] I tried to watch blazing saddles like in the line I'm gonna get hate for this it
[00:15:17] didn't it didn't hold up you're gonna use to be one of my favorite movies no yeah I
[00:15:22] watch it it didn't really hold up I want you to go a years ago I watched
[00:15:26] held up yeah I watched history the world part one recently that was my
[00:15:29] that's really like made me want to do comedy really yeah and that's still
[00:15:33] really funny but there are like some there there is some stuff anywhere you
[00:15:36] go I would love to see it why they're upset you know I would love to see a
[00:15:40] remake of Ace Ventura that'd be incredible why why do we play who would play
[00:15:45] I'd play him and I'd auditioned you know we need to shallow
[00:15:50] shall I may on the track did you come oh yeah I don't know if he emotes no I
[00:15:57] don't think he did call me but he made me so mad when they cast him as Bob Dylan
[00:16:01] I know like I was he's I know I was running but I read that I was like why
[00:16:09] not me why not my agent I don't even happen but but but they should have
[00:16:16] considered Adam calls they put on a hat they should have considered the gay
[00:16:20] bug from come down why not why this fucking we need and town is on set
[00:16:28] apparently when he was at NYU this is the gossip podcast when he was at NYU he
[00:16:33] had a really cool kind of chlamydia that all the girls were trying to get wait
[00:16:36] to be shall I may want you I'm gonna graduate I don't fucking know me no he's
[00:16:42] younger than us you're 43 years old you know at NYU that's it made him
[00:16:47] reaction did he go with me was he in school with me I went down what you during
[00:16:52] the Iraq war when everyone when Bush got reelected and everyone was like if
[00:16:57] he gets reelected I'm moving to Canada yeah it was very annoying yeah I think
[00:17:03] being in here that was pretty annoying the one million Iraqis no of course yes
[00:17:09] it was a really annoying war nobody moved to Canada except Jeffrey Joseph
[00:17:13] God bless no it was I went to a hippie school that everybody was sobbing yeah
[00:17:18] it was like there was a so I was so I was really I went Bush got reelected did you
[00:17:22] see that video of him in that 40 and slip yes what he was talking about Putin
[00:17:26] yeah he's like to to invade a country unilaterally with it he's like innocent
[00:17:33] people we're innocent people in Iraq I mean you crayon is also a wreck and he's
[00:17:40] like and he's like I'm 75 years old guys is that what he's got a big pop you got a
[00:17:45] big and I'm 75 he's like I'm 75 guys and everyone's dying of laughter you pulled
[00:17:52] it off George you did it George so crazy
[00:17:55] you got a big foolish you crazy bastard George you did it pain another picture
[00:18:02] George just sucks he got off coat because I would love to just do a bag with him
[00:18:07] you know he's the notions of grandeur coming from I would love it if they cast
[00:18:12] me as Bob Dylan in the biopic and then George is like yeah I could have been
[00:18:17] like what I guess what Adam it's relapsed and I'm like George let's just sit down
[00:18:25] and tell me the truth about the Iraq war you knew it buddy you choose game that
[00:18:30] would be a blast oh my god okay he was that I don't know I do think he's probably
[00:18:36] probably a pretty chill guy if you ever remember the video him given the finger
[00:18:40] on camera I don't know 9 11 and the aftermath never happened he would have
[00:18:44] been the coolest chilis president yeah he didn't get hit by those shoes yeah
[00:18:49] he ducked those shoes and he put a ton of retards of death in Texas yeah
[00:18:53] he'll kill a lot of retards it's that's factually true when did he kill
[00:18:58] retards as governor of Texas but he gave a stay of execution to the executions
[00:19:04] to mentally and because and people always say like oh he executed all these
[00:19:09] re what the read that's like innocent retard yeah they were bad boys those
[00:19:14] were some bad me my brother hard they were bad retard they were just like they
[00:19:21] didn't steal candy let's just say that they didn't get a little sitting in
[00:19:27] color their hand in the cookie jar let's just say they got caught with their
[00:19:30] hand around a woman's throat yeah and then she died I like that I like that
[00:19:37] take there there were some bad ombre's I'm gonna do that there are some
[00:19:42] desperados those guys I'm gonna do that in Brooklyn tonight folks everyone says
[00:19:47] oh he's executing retards you're doing material literally from the year 2000
[00:19:53] that was the last time anyone cared that he killed retards during the during the
[00:19:58] gore election everyone forgot about it after he killed a million people in a
[00:20:02] rack in Afghanistan this micro scene at the tiny cupboard look we're all thinking
[00:20:07] it well you know it's funny is like my my brother will get like kind of
[00:20:13] violent sometimes like he attacked my sister off she was driving the car she
[00:20:19] like bruises on her arm and it's like that's what I'm saying like yeah you know
[00:20:23] we'd have to do something you got to give him boxing gloves you know so there's
[00:20:29] a little bit of padding you know yeah so if he swings you know it won't be like
[00:20:33] won't cause you're ready you gotta put him in a Hannibal Lecter can't forklift
[00:20:37] thing and if he's wearing boxing gloves he can't use they put him on that pallet
[00:20:40] yeah yeah with the fucking yeah with a spin man when they put him on a dolly yeah
[00:20:45] yeah yeah yeah get a carry on a dolly him around for Christmas yeah we're bringing
[00:20:51] him out for Christmas folks I can spell you a common yeah what's that I had him
[00:20:59] with with a little bit of kian tea and fava beat and fava beat yeah yeah so I
[00:21:09] think we need like a gun in the house or something clair we I I there is a non
[00:21:15] zero chance that we've done retarded Hannibal Lecter on come town maybe
[00:21:20] three I'm not sure I forget everything we do on the show but I think I'm pretty
[00:21:26] sure Nick yeah let's get a call over on the fans hello you're on I love Nick yeah
[00:21:31] what the fuck is this fucking shit no one's no is it who's this war it's never
[00:21:37] I love Nick it's never I love Nick yeah I hate him and you will never understand
[00:21:42] him like I do it's never it's that it isn't like oh he's the bomb no one's
[00:21:50] like you know with a foam finger this is Nick Bolin on it they're like nobody
[00:21:56] hates him like I hate yeah no one hit you exactly and if he met me he would
[00:22:01] really he would not be friends with you and stuff that's why I get that's why
[00:22:07] with the Adam show starring Mike and Ian it's a whole new revelation it's a
[00:22:11] change it's a change Jordan is the no no I won't know the Adam show starring
[00:22:15] Mike and Ian featuring Jordan Jensen that's the new come down yeah and it's
[00:22:19] just some positive pals having fun that's it I can only do podcasts after 3 p.m.
[00:22:24] so that's put puts me yeah I keep trying to get you on by guys you're getting
[00:22:27] new before me I want to do before I did Jared Freeze podcast the other day at
[00:22:34] noon and I mean I was fully retarded you used to be the car I worked for myself
[00:22:40] and I would tell them my meetings up top and then I would you know did you not
[00:22:44] hear her she doesn't want to wake up too early to do the bisexual guys on the gas
[00:22:53] digital network I forbid up at seven I gotta get up at nine to do the bisexual
[00:23:04] podcast on Lewis's podcasting network it's good I like it's two guys with like
[00:23:13] Liberty spikes talking about one guy and we don't talk about that all the
[00:23:18] time it's just a fun name and one guys into scah one guys into leather like
[00:23:23] spiky stuff fun yeah both are into cock scum
[00:23:27] both are into cock yeah it's actually kissed guys I really gave them the full
[00:23:31] I thought you have a yeah when you're with a guy are you top or are you top or
[00:23:35] bottom man I'm a top but we kind of talked about this on the last show that
[00:23:39] we did yeah I remember I said I said I would rape you with my ass I was like
[00:23:44] that was funny I think I was closing the the doors and open windows for
[00:23:49] cigarettes yes but I thought that was very funny when you're saying that but
[00:23:54] we're not doing cigarettes so guys it is week 14 of the amber herd and
[00:23:59] Jeff trial and with a woman's perspective we have door or correspondent Jordan
[00:24:06] Jensen what do you think well I thought defamation meant shitting on things yeah
[00:24:10] definitely I was like man I think she's shit on his shoe wow that's what I thought
[00:24:21] the whole time your honor does this look like a woman who would defecate I know
[00:24:25] bad now y'all I'm just a little bit on the law but I was like so when she
[00:24:36] shit on something I was like oh that's why that's why it's called yeah you can
[00:24:39] sue someone in civil court for poo poo yeah yeah with defamation he on a move to
[00:24:45] strike my client has poo poo car she I think she did a wasn't in the fourth
[00:24:50] day the do get trial she was the it's so I was the defecation trial I did I was
[00:24:57] like doesn't make me cheating on something and like I didn't say anything
[00:25:00] to anybody because I knew it was wrong and then she shit on something and I was
[00:25:03] like there she did it a godfather style you know you leave
[00:25:07] a little yeah you've been in the bed and he wakes up in it it wakes up and he's
[00:25:13] like oh there's poopy a mother I guess maybe Jordan you Amber heard wrong yeah
[00:25:22] I'm just I took a I tried you ever like go to a public toilet because you like
[00:25:27] really have to shit and instead of usually what I do is I put I and you can
[00:25:35] you see most people use for display most of you know most people use for the
[00:25:41] toilet excuse oh I thought this is like a fight here with your shorts
[00:25:49] your cock my just riding it I'm always got a zenning your full penis and
[00:25:56] you can't yes I could draw it right here yeah right there yeah it's
[00:26:05] definitely you're we're like one of those old people that you just see their
[00:26:13] balls just wear sweatshirts every day I'm like headed that direction I'm gonna
[00:26:18] have a gun you really Jordan I don't want to make this gendered but you really
[00:26:23] know you do not have the privilege of using the public locker room with old
[00:26:27] men at any point in your life no I used to go in with my dad I was
[00:26:31] levels so it is it is a it is a real it is a real joy it's a real part of
[00:26:37] being a man is seeing an old man with just the longest testicles you've ever
[00:26:42] seen your first experience Adam go I think with my dad I think we're like at
[00:26:47] a pool or something I just see these old fucking guys and I'd be like is that
[00:26:51] what it looks like yeah yeah but when I have the smallest balls of all they become
[00:26:56] like a dog bone long and then it's like the perfectly little W at the bottom
[00:27:02] yeah I saw my friends grandpa walked in and he had like a sheer nightgown and
[00:27:07] you could just see the silhouette of this long really dog bone yeah and I saw my
[00:27:12] sleep and then she wasn't she says they all wear see through clothes because
[00:27:15] they've been like they don't buy new clothes and so they've been washed so
[00:27:18] many times you could just see everything yeah Tony Woods used to use
[00:27:23] comedian and DC legend great Tony legend he's doing a bit about how's like if
[00:27:27] you a black man in DC you have smoked PCP and so he does a bit about how he
[00:27:33] smoked PCP and he was like running down George Avenue in DC away from the
[00:27:38] devil and he ran to his grandmother's house and she was wearing her like
[00:27:42] housecoat which had been washed so many times that he was just staring at his
[00:27:47] grandmother's bush like her old gray bush like through her with Mike's shorts
[00:27:52] right now what do you tell me you're okay now but there was a minute there
[00:27:56] before it was you were really peacock yeah P ballman yeah I have big balls and
[00:28:03] irregular and irregular penis dude I so I just makes the penis when I was
[00:28:09] younger I was befriended by a minor league baseball team called the Wilmington
[00:28:14] blue rocks yeah and was it like a make a wish situation no but my so one of the
[00:28:23] players like this ten and already yeah and then like we were going to dinner
[00:28:30] with some of the guys on the team it was like after my dad died and my uncle
[00:28:33] went up to the hot dog man with molestation my entire
[00:28:40] they just know me before day but they bring me in the locker room and I
[00:28:45] remember the first time I was like it was like so cool sitting at one of the
[00:28:48] lockers of like a baseball player and then this huge black center fielder
[00:28:53] named Hugh walked out completely naked and exactly he was my friend like you
[00:28:57] what are you doing he's like oh come on he seen it before I was like oh my god
[00:29:01] and it was just like an old grandfather clock ticking yeah swing it back and
[00:29:06] forth I was like Jesus Christ I could play baseball girls I don't want to speak
[00:29:11] for you Jordan girls actually girls don't like that they actually like small
[00:29:16] penises because that feels nicer yeah the bad one and I was only like a boyfriend
[00:29:20] they don't want to get murdered but they hate that actually I don't like that
[00:29:24] porno girls yeah I know I'm just we like a big Yankee standard I think what was
[00:29:29] that yeah I didn't mean to do that man George that's the biggest
[00:29:32] business where are you from Wakanda it's like oh you don't
[00:29:41] but you're doing that was are you're dicks getting smaller as you're getting
[00:29:46] older I feel like my dick's getting small my dick shrinking no no oh my god I
[00:29:52] looked at it I think he was missing me was getting bigger yeah you know what I
[00:29:56] mean I think you're dwarfing your own dick okay you know
[00:29:59] what do you what is a Yankee candle a Yankee standard is like a good how long
[00:30:04] is this that's about eight that's eight inches looks that's hard this is hard
[00:30:09] all right that's probably a regular penis no you're gonna need to there you go
[00:30:15] I'm measuring on like a zombie is a Yankee standard Tony about hard rock hard
[00:30:19] yeah yeah he's standard yeah mm-hmm yeah yeah man that's the kind of penis that
[00:30:24] a Joe Tory had so we call I don't think I've been rock hard in like 12 years
[00:30:33] yeah it's true when you get to a point in your masturbation career you could
[00:30:37] literally just bust 30 percent horse yeah yeah you do not have to get sexy
[00:30:44] for yourself ever I had sex the guy who used to blue chew mm-hmm shocking really
[00:30:49] it's like a fake dick yeah I know it's cool wait what happens to it I had to go
[00:30:55] I had to go I had to go so I'd be bad for your heart right no it makes your
[00:30:59] ears hot but they're there a sponsor of the show so I don't want to make your
[00:31:05] ears hot I don't know what that means a party make your head you know it's
[00:31:11] weird is that you can't fit a blue chew in a ridge wallet it's like a
[00:31:14] conflict of interest for you it's true it's true but you can fit it in a in a
[00:31:19] pack of condom what do you call a pack of now here's the cradum yeah it gets
[00:31:26] super hard does it go down or do you stay home no it is like that it is the
[00:31:30] best possible version of your penis that's the thing is like I got it it's
[00:31:33] like 14 year old you can like knock on it it is it is like do you remember
[00:31:37] when you're like you remember early adolescence when your boner would be
[00:31:40] angry you get like a big like vibrating and yeah you just a pissed off car no
[00:31:48] one's fucking you yeah straight up it's straight up and in Zell yeah now it's
[00:31:52] like I read books I know how to talk to women my dick doesn't work the men who
[00:31:57] have to use it are like apathetic slightly sad men so it's weird to have
[00:32:01] this like ambivalent sad dude with this rock heart yeah that's what makes it
[00:32:05] feels bizarre yeah well I think it's like the only I was doing like I took it
[00:32:11] because I'm like if I'm boozing you know and I want to like get some and I was
[00:32:15] single at the time I was like I'll just have a reserve you know just a break
[00:32:19] breaking case of emergency situation yes but then I like one time did it sober
[00:32:23] and then I was like I drunk on the power and I really had to I really had to go
[00:32:28] because I'm not like someone that I'm not I don't have impotence I'm not like
[00:32:31] the two other hosted my podcast like I'm a I'm a little podcast come down I'm an
[00:32:39] evil hard down to point I'm also impotent I'm on Prozac so yeah yeah damn
[00:32:45] desert I wonder what happened if a girl did I think they probably there in
[00:32:49] gorge clitoris no way oh probably would be good if you probably get your shit
[00:32:54] eaten out and if you bust in three seconds you think it might be too much I
[00:32:58] don't know I'd be like it'd be like a fire hydrant and Harlem during the summer
[00:33:02] remember that what is it is it does it testosterone that's being shut no I think
[00:33:06] it just increases your blood flow right but anyway so like I don't like I'm a
[00:33:11] less naturally lusuvius horny jute like I'm an evil yeah I'm like I'm like the
[00:33:18] cartoon I'm like the guy with his hands like you know like when he was talking
[00:33:23] you're like naked so I don't need a version of that naked with a boner but
[00:33:29] it is ready to go I would say it is sticks out further than the penis do get
[00:33:33] like you know how like when you trim the hair at the base of your dick and it
[00:33:37] looks like an inch or two bigger yeah you know what I mean it is like you do get
[00:33:42] a solid half inch yeah really if you're like sober hitting a chew I'm serious
[00:33:48] like Superman when he takes off it's too it truly is like wood I mean it's like
[00:33:54] rock hard it does it make you last longer and no it does not it does not
[00:33:59] affect your stamina but it makes your ears hot makes your head hot what if you
[00:34:07] it is it go away as soon as you come no it just stays like no I've let yeah it
[00:34:12] I like then you just well it goes down eventually but you stay hard or what if
[00:34:18] I know somebody with blue chew what if I we were like at the cellar and I gave
[00:34:21] you date raped would they get a boner unbeknownst to them or do they need to
[00:34:25] do if you think about it half hour okay if you date raped like Mark Norman
[00:34:31] and he was like tables are mark I don't know what's going on right now wait
[00:34:36] usually I'm the one doing the right yeah usually up the ripos the penis get
[00:34:40] hard on his phone you have to think about it no it's not it's not like it's not
[00:34:46] like you can't no it's not it doesn't like magically give you a boner it's
[00:34:50] like if you're like get into if you're in the situation where a boner would
[00:34:53] come got you okay so you can't take yeah you still have to think about other
[00:34:57] women when you're fucking your wife yeah don't be crazy it doesn't make you
[00:35:04] love your wife again yeah yeah yeah yeah and love to a dead marriage yeah and it
[00:35:15] doesn't make them your girlfriend a man
[00:35:18] no but it could honestly could help you deceive her for longer yeah seriously we
[00:35:26] know that the deception is ongoing but it could I see doesn't like that my dog
[00:35:30] doesn't like it no my dog was because she is so my dog was actually a rape
[00:35:35] victim so she she doesn't like all this talk no she was a breeder dog for
[00:35:40] fighting dogs so maybe so she literally in her first heat she was bred so she
[00:35:45] was literally can you imagine girl gets her first period and then they say can
[00:35:50] you imagine the boy pit bull yeah and then they took when after when I got her
[00:35:57] yeah her puppies have just been taken away and she's depressed baby she's
[00:36:00] why she tried to kill my dog yeah I had sex before I got my period what I know
[00:36:06] I know where are you I think I'm a pair when I was like late 15 and I had sex
[00:36:10] when I was early I was late or two yeah I bust I jacked off before I could bust
[00:36:15] when I found out people in high school were fucking I was like shocked I cried
[00:36:19] I was yeah I was in sixth grade I remember there it's for married people I
[00:36:24] remember their full names I won't say the full names but I would still remember
[00:36:27] is a girl named Alicia I named Elden had sex between six and seventh grade and I
[00:36:33] went home and I heard about it at school I went home and I cried and I was like
[00:36:36] we're just kids we are just kids and now we're doing sex no because in eighth
[00:36:41] like what happened to where in the sense my friend she can came over
[00:36:46] she and she and Patil is that fake me is that like fake me say no she tan he
[00:36:54] was like a little Indian kid did you say he's dead now I can talk about him I
[00:36:57] don't know if that's how that works well that's why we're talking about Anthony
[00:37:00] board anyway she a tan big tell he came over and told me that there was a
[00:37:06] girl in the neighborhood who if you could Ollie over a skateboard she would suck
[00:37:11] your dick and I immediately when he left went to my mom was like mom I need a
[00:37:15] skateboard yeah if I backyard trying to Ollie with the goal of getting my dick
[00:37:23] suck my my mom like when I was in middle school she like took the headboard off
[00:37:27] my bed because I was like masturbating too much noise so the headboard is going
[00:37:31] like how are you masturbating where you need because I guess I would
[00:37:39] masturbate and kind of what would you stick anyway folks we have some
[00:37:43] work sponsor really what's have a word for our sponsors Ridge wallet you have
[00:37:48] some old man faggy wallet that's too big with all your bullshit in it well get
[00:37:54] this one it's made out of metal for cool guys wow all right so Jordan um what
[00:38:09] I would say you were just smacking the headboard so much so she came in you're
[00:38:13] just good good good good good good the boys hear me using my vibrator all the
[00:38:16] time really yeah oh yeah yeah yeah but the water for good they're good
[00:38:21] huh while they're fucking you know the boys who live with me oh yeah comedians
[00:38:25] and they will come up I'll hear them come up with a what a big
[00:38:28] like a gas power yeah you fucking started you have to start like a lot
[00:38:33] thing sometimes I fall asleep with it on me so just like smacking but you're
[00:38:38] the noise of the vibrator they don't hear they don't hear you yeah oh fuck
[00:38:44] oh it's me Jordan Jensen I'm masturbating
[00:38:47] no you're doing there god damn yeah always be like watching this with a
[00:38:53] vibrator between my legs yeah yeah she's just watching Johnny sack you're
[00:38:59] fighting off to sopranos I'm just a sad person so I'm just trying to get
[00:39:04] every all everything stimulated all at once yeah well it is kind of a sad show
[00:39:08] yeah what show I can't get my wife to make that show it's a good show with a
[00:39:12] masturbate to what show sopranos you masturbate oh 100% yeah oh yeah any
[00:39:20] characters and potential I had a Tony moment yesterday I you know what you're
[00:39:26] not there can I just grab Jenny sack Jenny sack died like maybe like 10
[00:39:31] years ago no no no don't ever seen the actress y'all want to see who cares it's
[00:39:37] a fuck no no no no no no no no no no quiet this is the Adam show stuff gets so
[00:39:41] upset about spoiler it's the biggest baby shit in the entire world you can't
[00:39:45] baby I don't I don't move either all spoilers there's no spoilers and the
[00:39:50] first choice is not an actress okay relax for people die than that it's
[00:39:56] baby even care about spoilers yeah it's baby there's not even well goo goo
[00:40:00] dog I don't want to hear about it okay let's hear it gee me that's not even like
[00:40:05] a spoiler show like when Carmella shoots Tony at the end of the series yeah yeah
[00:40:13] it is true when when a marmala puts a gun up her ass it's Tony with it when
[00:40:18] AJ transitions yeah yeah really yeah AJ AJ is like dad I want kids and he's
[00:40:27] what is today what it is what I want to do all these years we're gonna chop up
[00:40:31] the penis they want to come with a view okay wait so gee my if I told my father
[00:40:35] I want to cut my penis off so this more than so this 500 pound actress she
[00:40:39] died it's not even that great of a story now they think about it but this
[00:40:42] actress dies but they can't like interviewed her yeah and they're like
[00:40:47] she's so hell she's like she's like you know I just there was an open cast and
[00:40:51] call and I just showed up to the cast and call and they they picked me and
[00:40:54] it's like yeah I'm pretty sure you just like the fattest woman there which one
[00:40:57] is it it's Johnny sex wife oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she wasn't she loved her
[00:41:05] so much it's it was really beautiful but she wasn't like an amazing actress or
[00:41:09] anything she just like you know dude I love I love the episode where he leaves
[00:41:14] there's like a secret scale in the casting room all right but step right
[00:41:18] here yeah they put it on a veterinarian scale that's a game she was like what
[00:41:22] they way she walks in the go holy fucking shit is what they wait I think we
[00:41:26] found her it just lays straw out for her I think we found I think we found the
[00:41:30] fattest okay in the scene can you move um what was I gonna say the scene in
[00:41:38] sopranos where john sack leaves and he kisses her goodbye so tenderly and then
[00:41:42] he he forgets something at the house he turns around he comes back and she's
[00:41:45] eating candy bars in the laundry room yeah and he gets so mad at her is so
[00:41:50] yeah yeah oh yeah because she tells him not to smoke cigarettes anymore she'll
[00:41:56] stop eating like a pig I love when he wants to kill Ralph and Corrin mine's
[00:42:00] like well crack him good I'll out the man these tax 250,000 he's like what's
[00:42:04] next he gets the fuck up a million is it all about money with you people it's
[00:42:11] just about money yeah that was great that was a great moment in the show because
[00:42:14] it's like yeah these guys all they care about his money and this guy's like no
[00:42:18] my he insulted my my idea so I love how do you feel about the internet trend of
[00:42:23] making the sopranos about socialism I happen to think it's the gayest thing I
[00:42:28] can imagine it's really upsetting to me wait this thing that is beautiful that I
[00:42:32] love there's all this like fucking like people like socialists like DSO accounts
[00:42:37] that are like doing memes like socialism memes with the sopranos and it's like
[00:42:42] but the original I love yeah it's fine because it's like they talk about it
[00:42:46] like take the show that whoever wrote the original socialist sopranos memes they
[00:42:51] know the show very well but yeah it is kind of weird what are you talking about
[00:42:56] weird try I don't know there's just a stupid Twitter shit that no one should
[00:42:59] actually know what you know about well good I'm glad I don't know about yeah
[00:43:04] you should be I saw a tweet the other day this girl goes hey everybody was
[00:43:08] pollpot bad I can't find anything that might not be propaganda oh yeah because
[00:43:14] it's anti-communism yeah because it's like anti-communism people are so
[00:43:17] fucking stupid yeah dude I'm so happy that burnt they fuck Bernie's ass and now
[00:43:23] we can just you know be bad people and believe in nothing it's kind of nice
[00:43:27] yeah Adam Friedlin Ian animal and Mike received the best episode ever and
[00:43:32] definitely didn't call you gay don't worry oh Nick someone's tweeting it Nick
[00:43:37] oh great why is there a wig in your bathroom
[00:43:41] yeah I'm gonna win extensions of my girlfriend bought off at Amazon calm
[00:43:46] Adam why do you put on a weave I do don't you see me slapping my hair dude
[00:43:53] that that yeah that wig looks like it's it's not a way lanches hair and it's
[00:43:58] fun Adam becomes like an overweight woman it's funny because she was like
[00:44:01] Adam Friedlin yeah he goes around doing like social justice yeah if I'm just
[00:44:07] like hey y'all it's me I'm saying oh my gosh I write articles about Pixar and
[00:44:13] social I have chocolate all over my computer
[00:44:20] I'm mad I'm mad yeah she got extensions on Amazon she got extensions cuz she
[00:44:30] thought it'd be funny and then she said that it's yak hair what's if you get
[00:44:34] good extensions it's an Indian person's hair apparently all like very high-end
[00:44:39] wigs and stuff are Indian people's hair this is I didn't know this she was
[00:44:44] telling really yeah but she just got off Amazon for a laugh she was saying for
[00:44:49] her her friend was getting some too and they're like oh we're gonna tie it in
[00:44:53] and I wanted a blonde wig in grade school so I could look like Kurt Cobain
[00:44:57] yeah I honestly I feel the same exact way because I curly hair I wouldn't just
[00:45:02] string I wanted like drug addict hair win I used to straight do you have
[00:45:07] curly hair too it's so embarrassing I would just calm it down and then by
[00:45:12] like lunch it would I gotta show you the most embarrassing picture it was so
[00:45:16] unfortunate looking I was going through my fucking phone because I ran out of
[00:45:20] space I'm like deleting old pictures I found a picture of me a prom night my
[00:45:25] mom flat iron my hair oh my god and I had long hair I looked so bad and then I
[00:45:31] went with my friend who was a she was a competitive swimmer and she came back
[00:45:35] from like a like stay I was fun going a prom with a friend going a problem with
[00:45:38] a girl who will never never touch your dick she didn't yeah I thought I'm still
[00:45:43] close my prom day and she told me she's like oh sexy do a prom night I was like
[00:45:47] all right cool did not happen dude I gotta show you this picture I'm look
[00:45:52] like the biggest fucking but we're still best because you still get the photo
[00:45:55] every every social or like dude dance that I went to I went with a girl that
[00:46:00] didn't want I was like do you want to just go with friends I got any take the
[00:46:04] picture where you're like behind there I got some later it was I went with every
[00:46:10] time I went with a girl who would like never fuck me dude could you imagine if
[00:46:15] we had Facebook and social media stuff when we were that age I can't imagine
[00:46:19] well that's cool do it's awful we didn't have a problem we crashed the big high
[00:46:25] schools we didn't even prom because I went to like a little hippie we don't
[00:46:29] believe oh yeah you went to know no we just like didn't believe in here yeah
[00:46:33] yeah we grind call look at this it would have been like an ultimate frisbee
[00:46:38] mom that's your mom did my hair look how big it looks good I look like a woman
[00:46:44] no it looks cool it looks cool I look like a I look like you look like you're
[00:46:49] going to a panic and I look like I'm gonna bring that shit up dude oh you can
[00:46:53] see it already starting to curl it's already starting to yeah yeah it's
[00:46:56] already starting my curls you can't like you look like you couldn't get it
[00:46:59] straight haven't you Adam's Adam's hair was like I'm uncomfortable I've never
[00:47:05] know I don't like this I've never brought this up publicly before but because you
[00:47:09] did and it was related to prom yeah that guy I would see him at fucking parties
[00:47:15] all the time I get the disco I see Brendan at parties all the time in high
[00:47:19] school and I'd be like and I saw his band a couple times I was like this band
[00:47:23] fucking sucks this guy fucking sucks they suck right and then I fucking at the
[00:47:31] end of high school someone's like yo fucking Pete Wentz from fall out boy her
[00:47:36] Brendan's band and he's gonna make them huge and I'm like it was like a drunk
[00:47:40] idiot at a party I'm like there's no way this is true there is absolutely no
[00:47:44] way this is true then I was like I was a couple months later I was visiting my
[00:47:48] cousins and I was in Israel right my cousins they lived in Israel I was
[00:47:52] watching MTV Europe in their house and then was I I chimed in with the have
[00:47:57] you pea it was on international television heard the song before no I
[00:48:02] hadn't heard that song before but I'm like I'm like what the fuck is going on
[00:48:06] right now and then I moved to New York I I moved to New York and I was like you
[00:48:12] know I was the Nebish glasses Jew comic in New York in DC and I moved here and
[00:48:17] there's like 300 guys named Adam Friedland like there's nothing special
[00:48:22] about me I went here to follow my dreams I'm like you're a fucking idiot you
[00:48:26] ruined your life and then on the fucking every subway there was a fucking ad that
[00:48:32] was like Brendan Yuri is kinky boots and I was like this guy is fucking famous
[00:48:37] now you're a fucking faggot loser that's going to mics you can't even get up at
[00:48:43] mics because there's too many names in the bucket they ran out of time you
[00:48:48] waited for four hours to do like five minutes and look at you now you got your
[00:48:52] own podcast yeah look at me now now I'm now I'm just like in your bathroom I
[00:48:57] got a wig in my bag yeah now yeah well now you're a painter yeah I've really made
[00:49:03] it no but Brendan Yuri I was like I remember I was seeing that he was on
[00:49:07] Broadway as kinky boots and I was just like goddamn at this motherfucker he
[00:49:12] and they are one of the most successful bands in the world how do you think I
[00:49:16] felt yeah fucking trans woman I ever dated she was on the cover of Time
[00:49:20] magazine on every single billboard where you could see why you're so mad
[00:49:24] Hillary Clinton happened we already know she's out who's a Ruth Bader Ginsburg
[00:49:31] so to my own so to my own we had that girl who would always like she was like
[00:49:37] the non binary girl that would like cut herself you know this bitch is so
[00:49:39] annoying and then she was in like fucking what is it called John Wick and shit
[00:49:44] and the daughter that chick that's on billions yeah or not chick that they
[00:49:50] they yeah they they they they they they they they they they they they they they
[00:49:54] the them that was on the that yeah day that day that is in on to billions day
[00:50:00] from billions day is for billions no I'm not a good actor dude one time I did
[00:50:07] be a real ass podcast with a or maybe it was some other one one of them with
[00:50:13] Lewis and it was me and stop this is like five years ago and he's like
[00:50:17] Lewis was like he's like yo who's a fucking most like famous person for high
[00:50:22] school cuz I'm trying to be the most famous person for my high school yeah
[00:50:26] and then I was like I was like who's the most famous person he's like dude the
[00:50:31] fucking bitch flow from progressive went to my high school and I was like and I
[00:50:36] was like I was like Lewis you're not gonna be more famous than her she's like
[00:50:39] my god and so it stops like I don't know I mean I guess Tana Hasey Coates's might
[00:50:44] be the most famous person from my high school and Lewis is like Lewis is like
[00:50:48] who the fuck is that he's like he's like a I don't know famous like black
[00:50:52] intellectual like he's pretty famous and Lewis is like all right whatever dude
[00:50:56] and he's like googling it he's like there's nothing on fucking Google there's
[00:50:59] nothing on Google and he turns left off around he Googled Tala has he knows
[00:51:05] Tala has he like in Florida and then totes like to a bag
[00:51:12] he's like there's fine nothing who's guy who's farting Luther King
[00:51:29] dude there's nothing on this guy Tala has he
[00:51:35] aggressively typing in Tala has he who's who's bangs on booze
[00:51:41] likes you bangs on booze thanks for clarification
[00:51:46] I just find it it's for the listen you definitely know I don't know but the
[00:51:51] subtitles on that one famous famous person from my high school Joe Biden
[00:51:57] oh that's fire yep that's great really you know sleep be sleepy once you're
[00:52:03] sleeping guys y'all have mattresses out for nap time for sleep oh damn dude
[00:52:10] oh sleep do how about you oh I guess the they from billions no but I went to the
[00:52:15] small high school nobody famous zero absolutely nothing no is it Russian
[00:52:19] ballerina what about you Mike Joey bananas or I guess Joey but if we go
[00:52:29] greskola he's got his own auto salvage you what Samuel elitos from my hometown but
[00:52:36] I think he went to like the nicer high school went to the good one I didn't go
[00:52:40] to high school he doesn't want to tell us wait yeah I swear to judge went to
[00:52:46] no nodding Hill high school what are you a Hugh Graham
[00:52:49] Hamilton Jersey my first my first day at Nottingham high school I'm so
[00:52:57] new balls of show it shut up we know I'm so nervous to start high school
[00:53:02] exact that thank you oh I'm terribly sorry I thought I was some some Dominican
[00:53:09] girl like that's okay I thought I was going to fall away and then if you know
[00:53:13] I'm just coming my pants he got he got pulled oh my god who beering say her
[00:53:18] name is Maria I'm terribly horny there is this one I think they have the
[00:53:30] tri-outs will step team practice today there is this I think I would like to
[00:53:36] stomp the yaw in 10th grade I do don't mind if I do in 10th grad I had to take
[00:53:43] B-level history and this there is a girl Rosie Ray is in the class and she
[00:53:47] was like up at the blackboard and she just writes she just writes tasty on the
[00:53:51] blackboard and then the teachers like what are you doing and then she the
[00:53:55] teacher turns her back and then Rosie just pointed at her pussy
[00:53:59] Rosie Perez Rosie Ray is Rosie Ray yeah
[00:54:07] yeah in my you're the most famous guy from your high school I that's a bad
[00:54:13] high school I don't know I don't know I guess that I guess it means Mike was
[00:54:19] homeschooled actually my high school I would tell that I would a maggot
[00:54:23] bigger laugh oh yeah he was homeschooled his retarded brother is more
[00:54:28] fans he killed two people with his you got you got a lot of press for that
[00:54:36] those were like good pre-taught they were like bad read the evil I do only
[00:54:49] imagine your brother is Lenny from my son men yeah just killing women he just
[00:54:52] not him high school alumni Dan Maffey DH Lawrence Roberta King
[00:54:58] yeah no it's must be a different not again high school this is like a famous
[00:55:04] writer there's a Wikipedia page let me check he's like but not definitely just
[00:55:08] not from New Jersey I'll tell you a notable alumni sequan Hampton okay
[00:55:14] American football safety who played in the NFL for New Orleans Saints I guess
[00:55:20] that's it yes Steiner it was like the school down the road that was more it
[00:55:25] was more white not a lot of Italians got to go there boo back in the day an
[00:55:31] Italian couldn't come in this high school back in the day there was
[00:55:33] discrimination let's see I'm gonna check my high school my high school nice yeah
[00:55:38] yeah no we just had yeah yeah it doesn't even have notable alumni it has
[00:55:44] notable faculty members and notable visitors I guess I think Bill Clinton
[00:55:51] spoke there once yeah if we don't have any note why am I not on this week
[00:55:56] of Peter put me on the Wikipedia guys book me in of the advanced technologies
[00:56:01] Academy of Las Vegas I'm looking gay I'm looking gay today we've done that on
[00:56:10] come town literally yeah I'm sure yeah sorry don't listen to every about that I
[00:56:15] don't listen I was a don't worry but I am on the Wikipedia page for the
[00:56:21] hospital that I was born at and my dad was the closest my dad has ever come
[00:56:26] to saying I'm proud of you he found that out he was like I thought your your
[00:56:30] friend told me this and I thought you I thought you was lying so I looked at
[00:56:34] myself and by God you're there and I'm like that British he's from South Africa
[00:56:40] he talks in a he talks in a faggy British accent though even though he's it's so
[00:56:46] weird Nick my dad was just in in New York and Nick he has to see Nick instead of
[00:56:51] you Nick has been doing an impression of him for six years on this podcast and
[00:56:55] they had never met and it was I mean besides the all the homosexual jokes
[00:57:02] that one's about oh I have to go have to go get you sack besides all that thank
[00:57:07] you like the affect the affect is eerily similar like Nick got it right like
[00:57:15] that is like there is yeah yeah I it is it is kind of shocked like right about a
[00:57:20] lot of stuff you it's so annoying yeah he gets so much shit right yeah he was
[00:57:25] the first one on just the small it the second it happened yeah he was like he's
[00:57:29] fucking lying I know it right now he called it immediately yeah the second
[00:57:34] like but even before Ellen Page cried on on the fucking cold bear about it he
[00:57:39] like new or Elliot cried I knew it to I just but it was Ellen but now if it's
[00:57:46] that's the dead man he was kind of he kind of led the charge with the Epstein
[00:57:49] stuff to write oh yeah he was on the phone he was on the vipers first what he
[00:57:55] was on covid first he was like yeah this is a fuck up yeah like it don't admit it
[00:58:01] and no one listening of this admitted to him because I want his self-esteem as
[00:58:04] low as possible no but he's like annoyingly yeah right why is he just in the
[00:58:11] internet all the time shot in the group chat he's got a brilliant mind yeah yeah
[00:58:16] it's really annoying because he's one of the most annoying people I know
[00:58:19] ladies I know I saw him at the seller the other day he was like I'm about to
[00:58:23] bomb I never do stand up just crush of course yeah it was crazy yeah like he
[00:58:28] did he said in the group chat Sean was like do you think that Chet Hanks is
[00:58:32] the way he is because Tom Hanks and his mom like sex trafficked him and Nick
[00:58:36] was like a thousand percent he thinks Chet Hanks and that turns out to be right
[00:58:41] well I don't know I don't know about that I don't know if he's gonna be right
[00:58:44] about I guess well I think he's just a rich guy that was allowed to say the
[00:58:47] andward in this house growing up but who knows Tom Hanks is like all right
[00:58:50] sign well so I know you'll know that I gotta go do catch me if you can't so
[00:58:56] right you have fun saying the and we'll leave you with the black nanny yeah
[00:59:00] Patricia he says the and words sometimes if he does I'll just I'll give you an
[00:59:06] extra $500 yeah so the doctor says we have to let him to keep saying the
[00:59:11] and we're trying to we've talked to the psychologist about it but it's just
[00:59:16] we're gonna let him keep doing just invoices him all the times he said the
[00:59:20] and word yeah he's I checked is great you so yeah it's crazy that he's his son
[00:59:27] he's like yeah just the most violent by other side the other son is so much
[00:59:33] like it's a replica yeah Colin is just like yeah that's obvious that he raised
[00:59:39] one son and was like kicked the other one hard into the closet was like we're
[00:59:43] never gonna look at this kid ever I think I think that Rita is not Collins mom I
[00:59:50] think that Rita was like you couldn't say the andward if you want chatty
[00:59:53] shot up yes no way yeah I think I think the white Rita no Rita is Collins mom I
[01:00:00] think no I think Colin is a different mom maybe I'm wrong okay but my understanding
[01:00:05] to make it mother but how do oh yeah he definitely got that accent from his
[01:00:10] like nanny he's got the baby he's filming castaway he's like how's it going bud
[01:00:14] yeah they do be tripping it's so funny that his parents were the first people
[01:00:20] to get covid and then he was like he's like psych I'm not taking that fucking
[01:00:25] vaccine fucking lose him on the Z-way so good yeah what's her what's her deal
[01:00:33] dude you had you had one of the best you had one of the best tweets what I
[01:00:37] think it's what maybe my favorite tweet of yours where you were like I'd like to
[01:00:42] see Z-way try her bullshit on me oh my god yeah but shut the fuck up actually
[01:00:55] you know what the blacks don't even care about this stuff yeah who the fuck I gotta
[01:00:59] tell you what you know what they're more racist than we are what about black
[01:01:03] or black cry who the fuck is you we knew I don't need to know that she wait have
[01:01:09] you ever Chicago yeah yeah Z-way yeah I'd like I'd like to see you try your
[01:01:15] bullshit on yeah the guy I work with he didn't vote for Obama the second time
[01:01:19] oh Z-way you mean black cat Cohen anyway I don't I don't I don't know what is it
[01:01:26] she's doing she quizzes white people on like black history she does this like
[01:01:31] non-sequitur thing where she just like asked like temporary woke questions to
[01:01:37] like prolific people someone gave it to her recently someone like Hannibal did
[01:01:41] Hannibal gave it to her who is like you're not a writer and they left they
[01:01:44] left it on the show yeah and they turned the comments off on the Instagram
[01:01:48] Hannibal was like you don't credit your writers no her producer yeah the people
[01:01:53] that made her music yeah he was like he's like I guess Hannibal makes music and
[01:01:57] he's like yeah my producers like like if you go on spot he's like she she's
[01:02:01] like show me receipts show me it got really weird actually she's like show me
[01:02:04] receipts he's like all right I'll show you right now and you went on Spotify and
[01:02:07] there was like no name but it was like really surprised that wasn't cut dude
[01:02:10] right what is he doing now a ship or being like a landlord was like what he's
[01:02:15] making he's making rap music and bowling that's like his vibe oh yeah I guess
[01:02:19] yeah he's got the right idea yeah he's got the right idea man you know who's
[01:02:24] making rap music that's not bad Brendan Sagolo really all right let's move
[01:02:28] right on I couldn't even look at it yeah it's fine but it's just like it's like
[01:02:36] catching somebody jerking off or something seeing their rap video and then
[01:02:40] running into them later being like I'm not listening to Sagolo's
[01:02:44] Fagalo's rap music hey I know he's a good guy he's a good guy guys thanks so
[01:02:49] much we got to wrap it up you guys have any plugs oh real quick my shirts are
[01:02:54] dropping this week I'm also gonna be selling signed and numbered limited
[01:02:58] release prints of the paintings as well you'll be able to find them in the
[01:03:02] bargain bin later be able to find them at Adam
[01:03:05] the bill of comedy records under the table they'll be shipped to Africa like a
[01:03:09] championship sure for a team that lost yeah and I am member Ian Ian's
[01:03:16] album is coming out pretty soon I think Richard Pryor had the same name and it
[01:03:21] was that that and where it's crazy no no any plugs any I got it I got a new
[01:03:29] podcast it's called out for smokes and I'll be in Boston at the hideout on June
[01:03:33] oh those are fun I don't live in yeah I did those in February they're great
[01:03:37] anything Jordan I'll be in Vegas hell yeah I'm just a homeland I'm mr.
[01:03:42] Las Vegas the 13th and 19th and then I'll be in LA for a couple days and then
[01:03:46] yeah follow me on the Instagram Jordan Jensen L.L. Stone yes I animal 6 9 on
[01:03:51] Twitter Instagram everybody also check out Sagalas raps next yes I like them
[01:03:59] next weekend 27 28 29th of May I'm with a great David Tillot stand up live
[01:04:04] Phoenix Arizona and then June 10th 11th Westnite New York 17th and 18 Toronto
[01:04:11] Royal Comedy Theatre 25th Columbus Ohio and then Jordan you and I are in Cleveland
[01:04:18] Ohio at hilarities to share a bed July 21st 24th but I'm working out the details
[01:04:24] right now don't pull that bullshoe again again two beds in the room no you're
[01:04:30] fucking flat of yourself I look too much like a ma'am to sleep that close to you
[01:04:34] we have to share a shower and a toothbrush life together there's one on the
[01:04:43] country all right thanks a lot guys this is an episode to the Adam show thanks