Cum Town | Premium | 06/05/2017
[00:00:00] Bill Maher the nigger got a little more bigger guy.
[00:00:10] And then he's a clip of him saying I'm a house nigga.
[00:00:30] That was a powerful introduction for every week.
[00:00:43] The first show is a property of matter.
[00:00:50] It would be great if Bill Maher started saying it now.
[00:00:53] Bill Maher starts wearing a bow tie, but he starts wearing a Mr. Bergangels bow tie.
[00:01:06] Who Maher did the London terror attack to make up for us?
[00:01:09] He went to London and he was like, you know what?
[00:01:12] I'm going to win back the people further left than me by committing a terrorist attack
[00:01:31] That's going to be the capital of men that call each other, sir.
[00:01:35] We're going to have different gloves for what time of day it is.
[00:01:42] After wearing morning gloves after 1 p.m.
[00:01:46] He's made a mismatch with morning gloves to low T.
[00:01:55] Yeah, that's what our Mecca of Pakistan is going to be one day.
[00:01:59] Dude, I don't just learn the word Pakistan.
[00:02:06] It's like going to be like every other thing.
[00:02:08] It's like a frog Twitter's proposed country.
[00:02:12] It was like a map of like the new countries once the entire world is red-pilled.
[00:02:18] There's like Pakistan and like Fortranistan or whatever.
[00:02:27] And then on that map then it just says Russia.
[00:02:31] Everything else is still is a different.
[00:02:33] It's like Russia's already like a meme country.
[00:02:39] The trolls didn't know what they're doing, man.
[00:02:43] Greece is not why it's sunk into the United States.
[00:02:48] Even though we invented pedophilia, which I'm pretty sure.
[00:02:52] That's why they fucking disclaimed Milo.
[00:02:56] That's what I like when people are like, oh, these guys are all Nazis or whatever.
[00:03:00] We have to like, which was just a bullshit campaign tactic that we had to like fear the
[00:03:06] They're just people with computers, you know, it's not really.
[00:03:33] I'm a all living in genderless bunkers.
[00:03:51] What I'm saying is so like they have all this like online bullshit or whatever that got
[00:03:57] turned into like scary information, but it's mostly just four-chan jokes.
[00:04:09] So like what the people are acting like there just hasn't been racist people in the world
[00:04:16] Yeah, but I don't we don't have to bangs with them.
[00:04:22] If you're paying Nazi pricing, you're our boys.
[00:04:31] Like so that you just think that racism's always been around.
[00:04:42] Well, I think like, but what I'm saying is bullshit is like the, like it was part of like
[00:04:48] framing Donald Trump as this guy that can't be president because of the scary consequences.
[00:04:53] And then the runoff from that was everybody being afraid of like the alt-right.
[00:05:00] I mean, I just think that the crowd boys.
[00:05:02] There's nothing to be well, proud boys.
[00:05:05] They're like a little bit like tools though, right?
[00:05:09] Like, I'm, I'm, this is not an original thought.
[00:05:12] I saw someone had a tweet about this, but they're like, they're basically just putting
[00:05:16] on costumes and like cosplay and go to college campuses.
[00:05:21] Like that's like, they're kind of tools in all of this as well, right?
[00:05:24] Well, Jared didn't invent the alt-right.
[00:05:26] I'm just saying that like they're like, you know, subway Jared.
[00:05:34] Um, well, I think they're gay and I think, uh, it sucks that young like the narrative was
[00:05:37] always like young people are going to stop being racist, but it does suck that a bunch
[00:05:41] of trolls are just, even if it's a bit of, are there, I don't know.
[00:05:45] I don't even think it's that many people.
[00:05:49] Yeah, it's not, it's not a lot of people.
[00:05:50] It's not enough to like influence how they're just good at the internet.
[00:05:55] Nobody would have, it's racist who are good at the internet.
[00:05:59] First of all, that's what the internet was.
[00:06:06] That was the internet until like two years ago when, you know, people started using it
[00:06:14] But I mean, the majority of the internet for a long time was like people using the n-word
[00:06:22] I mean, YouTube stole like for Justin Bieber's baby.
[00:06:26] I thought he had a baby, but you mean the song baby.
[00:06:31] One of my favorite, my favorite YouTube comments.
[00:06:34] I've ever YouTube comments, it was the YouTube video for the Taylor Swift one.
[00:06:41] And then like the top comment or one of the top comments was a guy whose username was
[00:06:47] And then all the comment was was just the n-word.
[00:06:52] And it was the top comment for Taylor Swift.
[00:06:58] Hopefully that hasn't been taken out of place.
[00:07:02] Yeah, I don't think we should fear the alt, right?
[00:07:11] Nobody would have given a shit if Hillary hadn't mentioned the alt, right.
[00:07:22] That poor Pepe guy, man, that's a funny web comic or whatever.
[00:07:34] I feel bad that they got taken out of there.
[00:07:36] I think the main victim here is Mr. Anthony Kumia.
[00:07:40] He's not going to be allowed in Kekka's town because he's not a real wiper.
[00:07:44] I guess he's a cicillonesian or whatever.
[00:07:50] Like he was a fucking curly ass mullet.
[00:08:03] I don't know who made that meme, but good job.
[00:08:10] Somebody like Photoshopped Ant on like a CNN like article.
[00:08:20] But they were like, yeah, Tunisian man, Anthony.
[00:08:30] To use a burn that someone I think Conquinded on ONA years ago, he called him a Tunisian
[00:08:51] The Ant's gonna pull the clip again of you talking shit on.
[00:08:57] And then they're gonna pull that picture that I posted for myself.
[00:09:08] Listen, I just hope he gets into Keckistan, but he's not a real white person.
[00:09:14] Someone's trying to start shit between me and Louis, because I made fun of his fidget
[00:09:19] I'm doing real last podcast on Wednesday, and I will make fun of those fidget spinners
[00:09:23] It's like something I'm gonna keep behind closed doors.
[00:09:35] He's gonna get his fucking son taken away.
[00:09:42] I mean, imagine you're working at Child Protective Services.
[00:09:48] You see a man posting that many videos of fidget spinner tricks.
[00:09:52] You're gonna say, okay, this is an I.M.
[00:09:55] You can hear James begging for food in the background of all those videos.
[00:10:08] He went to a barbecue and Louis was there and he brought like nine fidget spinners.
[00:10:38] No, legally, I'd contract this out with a lawyer.
[00:10:44] How did you know they were gonna be a thing when we signed our official legal paperwork?
[00:10:50] Because I'm a fucking very good businessman.
[00:10:57] No, all my money's tied up in cryptocurrency.
[00:10:59] Although the logo for Ripple looks a lot like a fidget spinner.
[00:11:12] By the way, I'm so sad I couldn't fucking go hat shopping with you guys.
[00:11:19] Yeah, we bought about $900 and hats yesterday.
[00:11:30] I got to say hat shopping yesterday was pretty fun.
[00:11:35] But I kept asking the staff if each hat I was trying on was ladies or men's and it
[00:11:42] was three lesbians working there and they're like, it's all unisex.
[00:11:49] Oh, it does look like a fidget spinner.
[00:11:58] The cryptocurrency that I'm pumping and dumping on the podcast.
[00:12:04] I want to get a floppy hat for the summer, like a fisherman's hat.
[00:12:10] You're talking about the little black ones with the braid around them.
[00:12:13] No, that's two clas- that's two on the nose freak.
[00:12:19] Yeah, I want you like looking real sore red out.
[00:12:28] I want a floppy one though, floppy fisherman's hat with like the little-
[00:12:39] Yeah, I remember reading one time that you can tell if a Panama hat's good because you
[00:12:44] can like roll it, you can roll the entire hat up.
[00:12:48] Like it should be like the diameter of like a cigar.
[00:12:58] Why would you smoke anything out of a Panama hat?
[00:13:00] It's supposed to be very lightweight because you got to like that.
[00:13:02] So you got to sit in the shade in your nice like linen sucker suit.
[00:13:07] And fuckin' you know, talk about the good old days, the antebellum days.
[00:13:12] The lady antebellum days where you went to-
[00:13:13] You had a couple of midnight fellas helping you out around the house.
[00:13:22] Hey, it's not me, it's the hat talkin'.
[00:13:26] That's people that like to stay out late at night doing work.
[00:13:32] Or whatever, they choose of their own free will.
[00:13:50] So Bill Marten not guilty, basically that's the point.
[00:13:56] That's what offended me was that it was a horrible bit that bombed.
[00:13:59] I think it's the funniest thing he said in years.
[00:14:07] He knew when it first goes he goes out in the fields and he's already bombing.
[00:14:14] He's referencing slavery and it's already uncomfortable for no reason.
[00:14:23] And then everyone's like, he's like, clap for me and then they clap.
[00:14:27] He went soft, which is exactly how that fucking, that clip went.
[00:14:31] He went soft day, which was like he was trying to sound, it was even worse for him almost
[00:14:38] He's not fucking, like don't try that shit.
[00:14:41] But at the same time like Nick and I were talking about this yesterday, but like no one
[00:14:51] You can't bomb if you're going to drop end bombs.
[00:14:54] It's the same reason that Louie gets away with doing rape jokes.
[00:14:59] Which is, you know, Lindy tried to address in her like fucking article like, oh well,
[00:15:02] but if you do them the right way, it's like that joke is, it's still just a rape joke.
[00:15:09] There's something, there's nothing to analyze there.
[00:15:11] It's just Louie's funny joke that's about rape.
[00:15:15] And that's why he's not allowed to use the animal.
[00:15:17] But it just ultimately is a, it's a stupid standard.
[00:15:21] It's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's a, I hate the, I hate the defend usage
[00:15:25] of the N word, but like that is really like it's completely arbitrary.
[00:15:31] Like whenever there's like a free speech argument, it's always like open mikers that want to
[00:15:35] No one's saying you can't say something fucked up, but you have to make it funny.
[00:15:42] I mean, it's like people's subjective feelings and people will still get mad at this.
[00:15:48] Some people will still get mad if it's not funny, but that's like, or even if it is funny,
[00:15:52] but it's like, you can't do anything about that.
[00:15:53] Well, you guys know my stance on Bill Maher is my favorite comic.
[00:16:00] His stance on Bill Maher is barely hovering your asshole over his dick.
[00:16:04] Yeah, his hard day until your quads give out like a UFO trying to abduct his penis.
[00:16:14] I think it's cool that he says he smokes grass.
[00:16:18] And I think I've been at a hunger strike with me and a bunch of 65 year old Jewish men at
[00:16:22] the JCC on behalf of Bill Maher, Charlie Hebdo.
[00:16:27] This is about free speech and not letting the Muslims tell us what to say.
[00:16:31] That is the one place he's really on is his views about Islam.
[00:16:35] He's been said so many offensive things about Muslim people for years.
[00:16:38] He's just a fucking blowhard, but whatever.
[00:16:42] It's a name, a comedian that isn't a fucking blowhard.
[00:16:48] I guess he's just better comedy if you're a blowhard.
[00:16:50] I guess it's just that it's like, I mean, we've already made fun of it.
[00:16:53] The art of comedy is dumb people saying things assertively confidently.
[00:16:59] And that's what makes things funny is when you barging the room and say, what's going
[00:17:06] Here's a smart guy like me who would say it.
[00:17:18] How about that guy who threatened to fight ice with a sword or whatever?
[00:17:27] People fight ISIS with a sword and he'll give him 50 grand if they kill him.
[00:17:36] If you had a sword, what kind of sword would you get?
[00:17:49] Like Darth Maul accepted two buster swords.
[00:17:53] Yeah, you get a musketeer, little musketeer.
[00:17:59] You know, then I'd snap it and I'd fucking kill you.
[00:18:05] I'd have a fucking, I'd have double axes and twirl them.
[00:18:12] Yeah, do you have all the different types of weapons?
[00:18:25] They're like one of the female hobbits.
[00:18:27] Let me just sit in the background of the movie.
[00:18:30] Maybe one of you, let's like get that birthday party for Bill Bogg.
[00:18:43] And I'm pretty sure they have it in a pretty good time.
[00:19:01] I just love that like dwarfism is a real thing.
[00:19:04] And they're like, yeah, it's a fantasy world.
[00:19:07] The different species are humans, elves, dwarves.
[00:19:10] And you're like, those are also humans.
[00:19:16] Uh, this is the island of the amputees.
[00:19:21] Um, yeah, I would fuck Liv Tyler in that movie.
[00:19:25] Wow, you're really going out on a limb there.
[00:19:29] Dude, even though she's got like, you know, I know it's just an
[00:19:32] expression, but I would love to see Stav literally go out on a limb.
[00:19:37] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
[00:19:41] Yeah, you're trying to get some Barry at the end of it.
[00:19:52] I will be great when you get stuck in a tree someday trying to get
[00:20:01] I'll fight all those bees for honey, dude.
[00:20:06] I'll face you in a test of a jilly, Adam, Andy.
[00:20:08] What was the thing about Winnie the Pooh?
[00:20:10] It was the Christopher Robin was imagining it.
[00:20:14] It was a fever dream that he was using to.
[00:20:21] Yeah, it was supposed to be his son's imagination.
[00:20:23] It was all Christopher Robin's imagination.
[00:20:30] So the poo is the dream is Christopher Robin
[00:20:48] What's inside the dream inside the dream?
[00:20:50] Oh, me getting head from that French lady in inception.
[00:21:02] Can I talk about something just Marianne
[00:21:10] I'm going to say sucks, but he's like that.
[00:21:12] He was overrated after the Batman movies.
[00:21:57] Like, Memento is cool because it's like,
[00:21:58] oh, this is like a cool, interesting, short story
[00:22:02] Inception could have been the same thing,
[00:22:04] but like, it's this huge blockbuster that like,
[00:22:07] everyone's like, wow, I had to see it a couple of times
[00:22:14] Also that space movie, Matthew McConaughey,
[00:22:20] Which was kind of like anti-environmentalist.
[00:22:25] And then the end, the whole secret to the universe was love.
[00:22:28] It was just like, you're just waiting for like, what the shit.
[00:22:38] cannot connect with other human emotions.
[00:22:41] And like, you can tell that throughout the entire.
[00:22:44] Who are we to judge art of people that are on the spectrum?
[00:22:47] I mean, I just say if movie is good or not,
[00:22:52] But to say that the Joker Batman's bad is a,
[00:22:59] Yeah, I'm not, it was complaining about that.
[00:23:08] There's shit with Al Pacino, where he's in Alaska,
[00:23:16] What's the movie? Yeah, that movie sucks pretty much.
[00:23:19] Yeah, I mean, I think that Christopher Nolan's crazy overrated.
[00:23:31] There's gotta be at least four gay guys
[00:23:39] There has to be some existential themes.
[00:23:44] You like movies with no plot or point or-
[00:23:51] I wanna be getting a middle and an end.
[00:23:56] I like movies where they play chess against-
[00:24:09] The Berg part I love, man, not so much.
[00:24:11] As a feminist weenie, the thing I love the most is-
[00:24:19] Well, what I really don't like is when I have to pay the game.
[00:24:28] You probably like Fellini or some shit.
[00:24:32] I've never- I try to watch one of those movies dump too stupid.
[00:24:36] You're gonna start with the basics first and then work your way up to that shit.
[00:24:41] I mean, how are you gonna watch fucking with an eight and a half?
[00:24:46] How are you gonna fucking watch eight and a half if you haven't seen, like-
[00:24:56] I'm sure you watch it when you're 16 because you're a fucking snob.
[00:25:01] And you sat there and you said, oh, I got understand what this is good.
[00:25:04] I watched it when Eldis made me watch it.
[00:25:06] Eldis made me watch it when we were in college.
[00:25:14] Yeah, it's about the option my biography with that.
[00:25:29] I really actually genuinely don't like subtitles or fourth language movies, but-
[00:25:36] I mean, I'd rather just not have three.
[00:25:40] I always have to have subtitles on now.
[00:25:47] It's like I can't discern the words from all the other noise.
[00:25:53] I think speakers for the TV might help.
[00:25:56] Yeah, that's why you had to get $17,000 speakers.
[00:26:04] My grandfather has a hearing aid that makes the television come through.
[00:26:10] I just made that in my grandfather's stuff.
[00:26:25] You don't know what we're talking about.
[00:26:26] Yeah, I guess that's when you get made fun of for not being able to hear.
[00:26:33] I took offense to that you thought I was making.
[00:26:38] We kind of do like an inclusive style of comedy, Adam.
[00:26:41] Yeah, we've got to start punching down or up or whatever the fuck it is.
[00:26:47] You know my favorite of the way all that dumb shit cycles is like morons will start saying
[00:26:52] something and then people that think they're stupid will like jokingly say it.
[00:26:58] And then the thing that they started saying in the first place becomes offensive because
[00:27:02] it's now like mocking SJW is something people like identified as.
[00:27:11] And then I remember like Lindy getting mad at Patton one time on Twitter for saying SJW.
[00:27:16] She's like, you have to understand how loaded that is.
[00:27:21] But yeah, all that shit is punching down.
[00:27:23] It's like people while saying punching down and be like, oh yeah, well, even mention the
[00:27:28] word punching down, it'll become off limits because you're making stuff.
[00:27:32] You're making fun of the people that use terms like punching down or right side of history
[00:27:39] Well, that's why I just don't believe in just even using any words, not punching at all.
[00:27:46] It seems like you use way too many words on this podcast.
[00:27:56] You want to know how I really feel about it.
[00:28:00] Anyway, guys, we finished talking about what hats we're going to have for the summer.
[00:28:15] No, I think you should go classic Walter White.
[00:28:18] I love that Trump's just attacking the mayor of London on Twitter.
[00:28:24] Oh, yeah, he's saying we can't be politically correct or whatever.
[00:28:35] At least seven dead and 48 wounded in a terror attack and mayor of London says there's no
[00:28:47] You see the fucking president that shit is so weird.
[00:29:02] You know, you forget because they're all you would get it.
[00:29:12] Do you think Jared, potentially, if you want to, you can't sue me for saying that.
[00:29:17] It's not a crime to say you want to fuck somebody.
[00:29:43] Everyone knows that Jews fuck the best.
[00:29:46] Yeah, especially all of subway Jared's victims.
[00:30:07] Dude, it's my only skill is knowing who's Jewish and not Jewish.
[00:30:13] I'm not even going to bother looking at it.
[00:30:34] It seems like you've been fucking way too much.
[00:30:37] I don't want it to get ruined, so I'm not going to talk about it on the show.
[00:30:40] That's my new policy is not talking about personal things.
[00:30:47] Like no one knows about Nick's personal life because you...
[00:30:49] Well, Nick, it was his mom's birthday, happy birthday.
[00:30:53] Don't talk about his personal life like that.
[00:30:58] But you guess who's cock she put it on?
[00:31:12] I got her just a beautiful piece of art.
[00:31:16] It just said one number, guys, and that was 6 million.
[00:31:28] You brought it up numerous times, actually.
[00:31:34] I can fucking go back and find it if you want.
[00:31:38] What would you like to talk about, Adam, about our personal lives?
[00:31:45] Would you like me to talk about my personal life?
[00:31:50] I don't want to know anything about your personal lives.
[00:31:53] All I care about is what's in this room right now.
[00:31:56] The three beating hearts that are all the three beating cocks that are all sharing the same
[00:32:02] Yeah, I actually finally went and saw Alien Covenant.
[00:32:07] It's worth it just to watch a fast vendor kiss himself.
[00:32:11] Yeah, there's two fast vendor robots in the movie.
[00:32:36] No, he doesn't talk because he just has a good selection of projects.
[00:32:41] You could put him in a, he's just never been in a shitty movie.
[00:32:44] That would be interesting to see him over acting.
[00:32:46] But Daniel Day Lewis is in a shitty movie and see how good of an actor he is.
[00:32:52] So you just counted against him that he's in good movies?
[00:32:59] If you're a good actor, you actively go out and try to put yourself in bad movies.
[00:33:03] So if there was, if there was to own the libs, to prove how good of an actor you are,
[00:33:09] you like a mediocre player on a very good team.
[00:33:17] That's not an out of the third mic on a podcast.
[00:33:19] That's not an absolute no, it's not because he's not mediocre in good movies.
[00:33:25] He's okay in good movies compared to the, with the content.
[00:33:28] He was in fucking Gangs in New York, which is a piece of shit and he was great.
[00:33:42] I saw it when I was like six years old.
[00:33:43] And Gangs in New York is like evidence that if you put him and other, I mean, he's like
[00:33:47] overacting is that, well, this is completely arbitrary, but I disagree.
[00:33:51] Oh, it's as bad as you back out of it as soon as it's, oh, I mean, we just have different
[00:33:57] Fucking better actors than Daniel Baywood.
[00:34:01] No, and our different opinions don't matter.
[00:34:02] We're looking fucking like Axman first class.
[00:34:07] Yeah, but it's a stupid fucking X-Men movie.
[00:34:10] You compare his performance to everybody else and he's really fucking good.
[00:34:15] Daniel Bay Lewis didn't have a better performance than Leonardo DiCaprio did in that movie.
[00:34:26] Yeah, that's based on like, that was the real voice.
[00:34:30] Nobody knows what the fucking real voice is.
[00:34:37] He had a high voice though, but he found out he read the documents too.
[00:34:41] He read all the documents and he had a high voice.
[00:34:48] Teddy Roosevelt also, he thinks he'd be a tough guy.
[00:34:53] Yeah, but it doesn't matter what he sounds like.
[00:34:55] Teddy Roosevelt will kick your fucking ass for sure.
[00:35:00] Well, there was nothing else to do back then.
[00:35:02] You'd either go to war in the Philippines or read books.
[00:35:05] He would be a Rogan guy if he was alive today though.
[00:35:13] What do you mean he was too smart for that?
[00:35:15] He was too smart for it to listen to like, no, he wasn't.
[00:35:17] Oh, I thought you meant like be a Rogan type of guy.
[00:35:20] No, to be a fan of the Joe Rogan experience.
[00:35:23] Yeah, I don't think the president would be listening to the podcast.
[00:35:35] I don't think he'd be a big Gohan, he would.
[00:35:44] He'd probably be the best fighter in the whole time.
[00:35:47] Teddy Roosevelt would go on to the Joe Rogan experience.
[00:36:07] I mean, I think this is obviously a real hipster opinion.
[00:36:39] I mean, great society was obviously good, I think.
[00:36:49] He used to do interviews while he was naked,
[00:37:11] And he knew how to get shit fucking passed in the dam.
[00:37:26] Yeah, dude, he's paralyzed and he still fucked.
[00:37:28] You know my man was so good at eating pussy.
[00:37:40] I don't like to think of my presidents in such ways.
[00:37:45] Their pants need to be up and their face is on the money.
[00:37:52] I don't think Obama was good at eating pussy.
[00:37:58] He's so cool and he makes me feel cool as an Obama voter.
[00:38:04] Like suddenly Martin Lawrence would come in my apartment
[00:38:07] and hang out with me and talk about what a cool guy I am
[00:38:13] All those guys on the bus that I'm afraid of will finally
[00:38:16] accept me because you're a shepherd fairy t-shirt.
[00:38:25] I probably mentioned it before in the podcast,
[00:38:27] but it was the best how the shepherd fairy t-shirt went
[00:38:31] to the guy who owns Urban Outfitters, who
[00:38:38] People were wearing those Obama t-shirts as fashion,
[00:38:40] but like, giving money to his opponent.
[00:38:45] Businesses and rich people can suck my dick, dude,
[00:38:53] What part of 900 dollars in Habadashari?
[00:39:07] I really do want to pay them a hat, though.
[00:39:09] If any of our listeners manufacture Panama hats
[00:39:15] and want to do a housing swap thing where you can take my room
[00:39:19] and I can take your bungalow and Panama.
[00:39:32] illegal money laundering friends down there.
[00:39:44] And then all you do is you live in Panama, all you do
[00:39:45] is you sit in a cafe and get drunk at 11 a.m.
[00:39:59] I said, shoot me in the head if I'm ever
[00:40:05] You fucking piece of shit son of a bitch.
[00:40:13] You must be making this meeting with me
[00:40:25] I'm trying to be like when James Bond goes to Cuba and Goldeneye.
[00:41:05] All I remember is the girl's bikini on the beach.
[00:41:13] I think I've seen all the Pierce Bros. ones.
[00:41:26] He's got his whip in that Aston Martin.
[00:41:34] And if you go back and play Goldeneye now,
[00:41:37] I'm not with all this Goldeneye nostalgia.
[00:41:38] I'm not with all this Goldeneye nostalgia.
[00:41:39] First person shooters because I had play a say shot
[00:41:43] Yeah, it's completely different mechanics.
[00:41:48] other than like Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Time Splitters.
[00:41:52] Maybe that's just the excuse I've been using.
[00:41:54] Yeah, if you suck at first person shooters on consoles
[00:41:59] That's why I saw it because I didn't have Xbox
[00:42:02] Friends that played Halo, no, now I'm terrible at video games.
[00:42:14] Come suck the Needlers dick, I would say to my opponents.
[00:42:17] If that's cool, before I kill them with the Needler.
[00:42:22] And by opponents, I'm going to get into no scoping people this year.
[00:42:25] Ooh, that's the goal for me is to learn how to
[00:42:39] I'm going to take a calligraphy course.
[00:42:41] I'm going to learn how to do 360 no scope head shots.
[00:42:51] I'm excited to get back in the gaming culture.
[00:42:54] I hope it I've been bored mostly with all the video games
[00:43:01] It's cool to be a part of that extremely reactionary
[00:43:12] No, I mean, I played Resident Evil mostly and I played like maybe
[00:43:20] All that fishing and hanging out with your gay friends.
[00:43:23] Honestly, that was a great way to just waste the entire day.
[00:43:27] It's like just sitting here digitally fishing.
[00:43:31] Ever since I mentioned, I remember that game custom robo.
[00:43:37] I might just get a fucking atom plays a game called Custom
[00:43:40] Homo where he orders specially designed gay guys online.
[00:43:54] So what have you got to like it's basically it's like scion for gay
[00:43:59] She starts off with your, you know, your like gay guy XB.
[00:44:03] And then you put some underbody lights on them and some fucking
[00:44:06] bullshit plastic all over his eyelids and I think scions are
[00:44:16] Adam, what's like the weirdest thing you've said into a guy's
[00:44:37] Oh, I ate her ass while standing went brown.
[00:44:47] You want me to answer that question or are you just saying
[00:44:55] That's my, I got to lose the weight I gained in Los Angeles.
[00:45:02] No, that's too sunny and optimistic out there.
[00:45:05] I know that's why I'm on target because I'm skinny, skinny bitch.
[00:45:17] I had a slice of pizza and half a cookie yesterday.
[00:45:23] I had no, I had no carbs for like four weeks.
[00:45:27] You know, um, you had zero carbs and that's not possible.
[00:45:36] Let me, anyway, I ate some yesterday and it felt bad.
[00:45:41] Well, I just don't know what that I'm here.
[00:45:43] You're both, you're both bitches and you can suck my cock.
[00:45:45] You're waiting in the, to, to dangerous territory talking about diet as a fat man.
[00:45:51] I'm looking for sympathy for my good friends.
[00:45:55] No, you won't get sympathy for me until you educate yourself.
[00:46:04] You just need to train like me and Nick.
[00:46:06] You'd be like if, if I was me as a alcoholic, I was sitting here and I'd be like, yeah,
[00:46:11] I switched, you know, I was really good.
[00:46:13] I didn't, I didn't, I didn't drink any hard liquor for like fucking, you know, weeks
[00:46:22] I've been drinking light beer, which is like not as bad for you.
[00:46:26] Dude, I've been, I've been drinking suitcase of course, like, I've been a damn paleo warrior.
[00:46:31] I eat all this gain off a pork shoulder until I was sick one day this week.
[00:46:37] I eat five bushels of apples in one sitting and gave myself fucking week-long diarrhea.
[00:46:51] Basically, all those diets work because you're restricting the types of food you can eat.
[00:47:00] You know, some of it is about like insulin.
[00:47:03] So if you're eating things that have like a high, like, you know, like high GI index
[00:47:09] or whatever, then you're going to fucking jack up your insulin levels and you're going
[00:47:15] But for the most part, yeah, it's just count your calories and you'll lose weight for gain.
[00:47:20] Yeah, maybe I'll just get fucking jacked.
[00:47:30] After London attack, Prime Minister says enough is enough.
[00:47:40] Yeah, she's saying we need to censor the internet.
[00:47:44] She said that the internet is the is terrorist safe space.
[00:47:50] That's me like, no, please just be racist.
[00:47:53] Please just fucking I would much rather have an Islam a phobe than somebody that wants
[00:48:00] There's a hierarchy of things that are important to Nick.
[00:48:04] No, I mean, if like the solution though is to limit fucking, you know, free speech and,
[00:48:10] you know, unfettered communication, then yeah, no, I think racism is much less evil than
[00:48:17] I don't fucking have a problem with a bunch of, you know, drunk Hicks or whatever using
[00:48:23] But well, there's different types of racism, Nick.
[00:48:37] I understand there's like internet comments, but there's, you know, let's see what they
[00:48:42] They want to get rid of internet comments.
[00:48:44] She's a fucking she's a piece of assets.
[00:48:50] I fucked that powdered wig right off her head, right?
[00:48:53] Doesn't the Prime Minister have to wear one of those?
[00:48:56] Whenever you go to the court for driving on the right side of the road, which I'll take
[00:49:07] Yeah, they actually they, they said I was too tough to be James Bond.
[00:49:11] I'm sorry, but James Bond isn't, you know, he's kind of a bitch.
[00:49:21] What's his name and his body isn't even cold yet?
[00:49:27] Oh, is anyone said more like Sir Roger less?
[00:49:33] Maybe we've done that Joe less a lot over again.
[00:49:36] Did that get a million retweets on Twitter?
[00:49:41] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
[00:49:46] Roger Moore was the one that like in the opening, you know how they always have that opening
[00:49:49] sequence and then they have like the circle thing and then they shoot and then it goes
[00:49:55] You're the one side of a gun you fucking.
[00:49:57] He was always the one who had his non-shooting hands like up gaily when he'd fire the gun.
[00:50:07] He'd like he'd like flare his non-shooting hand.
[00:50:14] John Connery and Daniel Craig and them never did that.
[00:50:16] Yeah, because they didn't fingerfuck as much.
[00:50:20] As Roger Moore, Sean Connery, did we discuss how he was bald the whole time?
[00:50:24] He was also a competitive bodybuilder before he was James Bond.
[00:50:32] Well, I'm not bald, but should I start wearing wigs?
[00:50:44] And people just allowed that to happen.
[00:50:52] And then I saw him, then I was like, damn, it looks really good.
[00:50:57] Yeah, he was like, yeah, just check it out.
[00:51:00] Billy Zane started to go bald and he was like, I'll just shave my head and wear wigs.
[00:51:07] Little fucking, so it looks like he was a little broad.
[00:51:16] You can kind of tell we have kind of the same facial structure.
[00:51:22] They're both the reason the Titanic song.
[00:51:32] Except I would never get cucked by Leonardo DiCaprio, dude.
[00:51:37] You're a little bit of a tytanic and you're on every piece of debris.
[00:52:03] Have you tried, how much would it cost to get you to just grow out what hair you have
[00:52:10] I think it would look pretty fucking good.
[00:52:12] I want to go a little boulder before I do that.
[00:52:16] I want to go a little boulder so that I have these weird completely bald spots.
[00:52:20] Because right now it's just thin and weird.
[00:52:22] But when my bald spot gets a little bigger, I'm going to grow out a dumbass ponytail
[00:52:35] It's bad, but I'm talking like I want you to...
[00:52:38] I mean, I guess, yeah, it's pretty stupid.
[00:52:42] LeBron should have just let it shake out.
[00:52:43] The more it grows out, the thinner it looks.
[00:52:50] But I'm not ready for it yet, but at one point in my life, I will do that.
[00:52:59] Then really lean into the Hawaiian shirts and Panama hats.
[00:53:22] No, like a plane that you can land on water.
[00:53:31] I thought a pontoon boat was just a boat.
[00:53:39] Yeah, they got those two little leg things on this.
[00:53:42] That's what I think of when I think of CIA Central America.
[00:54:00] Oh yeah, we're going to take a trip to the fucking Easter Show.
[00:54:06] For the plan I discussed off the podcast.
[00:54:16] A secret plan I've been cooking up with one of my friends down in Panama.
[00:54:30] He's pretty drunk, but he's a smart guy.
[00:54:33] You need info on how to covertly get to Mecca, which I'm still like I'm literally days away
[00:54:40] from finding out where Mecca is in terms of country.
[00:54:50] That's another program I'm running called operation two birds when it's done.
[00:54:59] You know about Israel's nuclear program that they live.
[00:55:08] Yeah, the Samson initiative or something.
[00:55:15] First of all, everyone's like, you have nuclear weapons.
[00:55:17] No, they won't deny it, but it's estimated they have like 200 nuclear warheads.
[00:55:23] But apparently Israel is the only country that hasn't like signed the nuclear nonproliferation.
[00:55:27] So the plan is if there's ever a new kettits Israel, they'll just fucking nuke themselves
[00:55:42] No, Samson was the story of Samson is a guy who killed himself.
[00:55:45] So he understand the story of Samson, but the plan is there.
[00:55:49] They're going to make sure that the rest of the world protects Israel because the rationale
[00:55:53] is the world stood by while the Holocaust happened.
[00:55:56] So we're not going to let that happen again.
[00:55:57] So they'll nuke Europe if Europe doesn't protect Israel in the case of like, what?
[00:56:09] Yeah, I mean, it doesn't even make sense at all.
[00:56:14] It's that they'll blow themselves up and like take Jordan and Egypt and like all the
[00:56:20] Yeah, Delilah cut his hair while he was sleeping.
[00:56:25] The Bible, yeah, the Bible teaches you.
[00:56:29] You know, first they give you the pussy and then they want to, you know, the Bible.
[00:56:39] Samson is a very MRA part of the Bible.
[00:56:44] Because his hair was his source of his power.
[00:56:50] Because she got paid off by like the Romans or the Greeks or whatever.
[00:57:06] And then there was the guy that from the Jewish story of Hanukkah, that guy fucking Maccabee.
[00:57:28] Actually like boxing like in the early 1900s was like a Jewish sport.
[00:57:35] Initially basketball was a Jewish sport.
[00:57:42] You know, before they took it from horse racing or whatever.
[00:57:46] Yeah, they were riding horses and you know, overseeing the factories.
[00:57:54] What's a follow up joke to someone saying the word fields?
[00:58:03] Nick's furiously trying to find the Jewish conspiracy that is bomb times.
[00:58:15] There must be like a mad dog to Drandris to bother.
[00:58:21] We have the ability to take down the world with us and I assure you that will happen
[00:58:30] I don't think that's what God is saying.
[00:58:34] We possess several hundred atomic warheads and rockets can launch them all at targets
[00:58:38] in all directions, perhaps even at Rome.
[00:58:40] Most European capitals are targets for our air force.
[00:58:46] Israel must be like a mad dog too dangerous to bother.
[00:58:53] I think the point is that they could destroy the entire world.
[00:58:57] In the event that they're facing like destruction, it's not that they would nuke themselves.
[00:59:07] He pushed the columns and the temple collapsed on top of it.
[00:59:13] So it would be that they would nuke the world if they're getting nuked.
[00:59:17] If they're about to get nuked, if Israel ever faced certain destruction, they would
[00:59:22] nuke the entire world to guarantee that.
[00:59:26] Isn't that basically what mutually assured destruction is?
[00:59:33] That's like nuclear parity between the United States and Russia.
[00:59:37] But that's essentially what you're doing with the whole world.
[00:59:40] Yeah, it's that we could just, if anyone.
[00:59:41] No, but it's holding other countries that aren't responsible.
[00:59:48] Well, nice try, but your little spin didn't work out.
[00:59:51] Well, I got to go back to Harry Reid's office.
[00:59:54] I got some, I got some advocating to do.
[01:00:00] Anyway, so, so back to, back to Brooklyn, New York, back to Betzai, back to the boys in
[01:00:17] You're basically defending North Korea by agreeing with that.
[01:00:21] North Korea should be able to have nuclear weapons.
[01:00:24] So, you're opposed to the idea of nonproliferation.
[01:00:28] I'm opposed to the idea of nuclear weapons.
[01:00:31] I don't think human beings should have the ability to say in the world.
[01:00:42] That was if you was just shut the fuck up, big.
[01:00:47] You went out of your way to first obfuscate the details.
[01:00:53] Enforce me to delay precious riffing time.
[01:01:00] Because you know how I feel about producers.
[01:01:04] Anyway, we all know what persuasion producers usually are.
[01:01:26] I mean, compression shorts are underwear.
[01:01:30] You'll go out of your house wearing compression shorts.
[01:01:34] You just get the boys to look at me, dude.
[01:01:39] I feel like a pair of compression shorts.
[01:01:42] I'm trying to go white men can't jump short shorts long compressions underneath.
[01:01:45] Mmm, that's a very, very woody Harrelson 1993-94 look.
[01:01:50] First of all, the title of that movie alone is reverse racism.
[01:01:54] I won't watch it or dress anything like anyone in that movie.
[01:01:59] Is that where Rosie Perez shows her tits?
[01:02:09] I have a very big crush on her in that movie.
[01:02:20] That's what you call the Samson option.
[01:02:27] I have a missile pointed towards your house.
[01:02:30] And if Rosie Perez ever agrees to fuck me, I will point it.
[01:02:56] Yeah, how about you never hear a bitch named Tulipy?
[01:02:58] Hey folks, you don't want to know something I noticed.
[01:03:07] Some of the bitches is named after flowers, but it's just the name of the flower.
[01:03:20] Sometimes maybe it's black or something.
[01:03:26] I know many a secretary with an attitude problem named Hibiscus.
[01:03:31] No, a couple of those down at the unemployment office where I go, but it's okay when I do it,
[01:03:50] You know, one thing I know how to do is operate levers on every machinery.
[01:03:54] It's my father did it, my grandfather did it.
[01:03:58] I'm a tenth generation freight elevator operator.
[01:04:02] I'm union protected, so I make $432,000 a year with overtime.
[01:04:07] I stand in a freight elevator and give people a hard time.
[01:04:20] I choose, I have a fucking house and great neck.
[01:04:27] And I choose to eat at Wendy's every day for cultural reasons.
[01:04:45] I want to talk about alien covenants some more.
[01:04:48] I'm going to talk about the next car was for me.
[01:04:56] Him and anything is just like, oh I'm thinking it's Kenny Powers.
[01:04:58] All I'm thinking is that fucking... is that boogie board with like Ferra flag weed boogie
[01:05:03] That's the fucking shit that's the world.
[01:05:05] If anyone has a fucking hot tip on a Confederate flag, we should go...
[01:05:17] I remember that was like the cool vacation spot though.
[01:05:34] Yo, I was straight up raping girls from Lancaster.
[01:05:39] They come down here and sown them for Ukraine.
[01:05:45] They just got to go back to Russia at dinner and summer.
[01:05:49] Yeah, actually, I'm going to need a next two weeks off of Enterprise Run a car.
[01:05:54] Yeah, excuse me, but I have a lot of date raping to do.
[01:06:07] I love getting hepatitis at a foam party.
[01:06:09] A couple of years ago, like 10 years ago, there was somebody called the police on a
[01:06:14] lesbian at secrets because they thought she was Justin Bieber.
[01:06:19] They thought Justin Bieber was underage drinking at secrets.
[01:06:25] Yeah, the police had to show up and this lesbian woman had to prove she wasn't like a 17 year
[01:06:31] We should do a live comptown at secrets.
[01:06:46] I went to OC where I was camping an acetique and there was a crazy...
[01:06:54] It's a camp for guys like him to meet each other.
[01:07:08] I was camping an acetique and there was a crazy store.
[01:07:19] I'm gonna have to fuck the spell acetique.
[01:07:22] You expect me to be able to spell it and then do an anisins.
[01:08:04] Dude, we have to step our vehicle game up.
[01:08:50] So, you know, he has a driver's license. We can't tell him not to drive the truck. Oh
[01:08:59] Hell yeah, dude the come town dick mobile
[01:09:02] You think we could get a float you'd be cool too to get a Prius and legally modify it the coal roll hell
[01:09:08] Yeah, to what get a stack is confused everybody. What's a coal roll?
[01:09:12] It's like it's like they they put those stacks on your pickup truck. Yeah, where it'll like
[01:09:20] Artificially increase the the fuel air mixture for like a super button
[01:09:24] And then it fucking like dumps a shit ton more diesel fuel into the engine and so it goes black smoke comes out nice
[01:09:31] And then you drive past black lives matter protesters. I'm serious. This is what they know
[01:09:35] It's real they drive past black lives matter pretend you never know
[01:09:42] And then they fucking cover them and so it yeah my god exhaust you know, I'm so glad we left the Paris climate
[01:09:49] I mean, it's like it's one thing to be like an all lives matter guy, but to be a black lives don't
[01:09:59] I mean that is what all lives matter people are I mean, that's no
[01:10:03] They're just like all lives matter people just like don't get the point of right right right of black lives matter
[01:10:08] It's not like they're they also think they're just it's like a lot of them also think that there's a coordinated assault
[01:10:15] So there's like 10% of most just says I'm really funny like a couple weeks ago
[01:10:21] He was in regards to like something about like all lives matter like that that category of people politically in general
[01:10:28] I mean all that shit makes sense if you like don't think about it at all
[01:10:35] Exactly real thought into like what like what you're actually saying then it does like it doesn't make sense like
[01:10:41] I just if you're black lives matter and you're just some dumb white guy
[01:10:44] You're like well why specifically black all lives matter and I feel like that's the majority of of the all lives matter people
[01:10:53] Middle-aged guys that happen to be on Facebook or whatever and then everyone wants to fucking jump down
[01:10:58] Their throat cuz they're like not really thinking about the problem. I think you're not generalizing a little bit there
[01:11:04] But that's so let's hear you generalize in the other direction that I guess I just don't think that's the all them
[01:11:09] I think some of them are just trying to make fun of them. I didn't say all of them
[01:11:12] No, but I think your point is right, but also that's not good
[01:11:15] You should think about it for more than one second. You shouldn't just be a reactionary about it. It's fuck does it do
[01:11:21] It's fun because people are fucking dying. Yeah, but I mean what would impact does it have if that older guy thinks about it or not?
[01:11:27] I think the problem is like it's nobody's ever coming at these people with any kind of like good faith criticism or like
[01:11:33] Really trying to have a conversation with anybody
[01:11:36] That's it's always this bullshit like it's not my job to educate you or whatever and that's like no
[01:11:42] I don't have any real fucking interest in changing people's minds. It's about being you know morally superior and
[01:11:50] 90% of cases as far as anonymous online interactions go or when you're talking to somebody in Facebook comments or on Twitter
[01:11:58] But to be I mean yes, but also to be fair. That's true of the people that say that shit
[01:12:02] I'm sure they don't want to learn sure, but they're it's like they're also they don't know and I'm yeah
[01:12:09] No, I mean I is a conception we've talked about this before but there is a conception that there is a coordinated assault on white life in this country and
[01:12:16] And then a lot of you know white we mean we've talked about it before we mentioned it before the show
[01:12:22] I don't remember doing that episode. Oh, we got in trouble remember no cuz we were talking about Anthony Koopia
[01:12:29] When we talked about the white genocide thing. I mean like yeah, yeah, well we weren't talking about white genocide
[01:12:37] Yeah, the the concept that like oh who cares this shit is it doesn't it really is stupid
[01:12:44] We should be discussing point is I'm right. You're wrong. What am I wrong about everything? Okay?
[01:12:50] Absolutely, and I'm also right in a different way you pick the wrong hat at the hat store the other day
[01:12:55] You like the dumbest ones there. I like the coolest ones. Can we get all right?
[01:13:00] I know I well I picked the one I wanted you to get and you didn't get it
[01:13:04] Well, you guys really get one like you can ask you down with where what's that? Did you really buy hats?
[01:13:08] We didn't know dude. We had I went into that store look dude
[01:13:12] I went into that store to buy you a floppy hat. Thanks buddy
[01:13:16] That's why I went there and then I tried on some for myself
[01:13:18] And then I went back again the next day with Adam again to buy you a hat and then we got carried away
[01:13:23] Thank you putting the hats on and yeah doing different characters fun time and an all was a lot of fun
[01:13:29] Annoying the lesbians that were all right. We're gonna. We'll go. They're all unisex
[01:13:33] You know not none of them had hats on by the way. They all had hats on none of them. I see it
[01:13:38] That was their whole house. They did they all had hats on what's up bro. That's where they were. I think we should stop now
[01:13:44] All right, so I've really wants to stop because he has a date