[00:00:00] are you guys start the show I gotta relax for a second hello everyone and

[00:00:04] welcome to come town the world's number one big dicked podcast with over 69

[00:00:12] million downloads an episode with me today as always is are my two inferior

[00:00:18] co-hosts Adam Friedland the worst one great to be Nick Mullen pretty good on

[00:00:25] his phone is gay and our special guest tonight late night at the studio it's

[00:00:32] very late at night we just had sex with lots of women and had did drugs and with

[00:00:38] us tonight is the international superstar Zack amico everyone thank you

[00:00:44] for having me oh buddy so great to have you that so nice to have you here

[00:00:49] Zach you're you're I love the amico aesthetic it's very like a bully on boy

[00:00:54] mates world yeah I am I have a certain white trash wateve yeah oh yeah oh yes

[00:01:01] you do my friend and we're just out here Nick just made a smoothie that was

[00:01:06] four cups of whole milk and three scoops of protein powder so he's just

[00:01:11] put vitamins in there too let's anyone thinks I'm insane yeah no

[00:01:15] I'm gonna talk off me dude Nick fucking bitch ass cat is on my dick

[00:01:18] crushing up Flintstones kids and doing rails now I take orange tree ad what's

[00:01:24] that daily multi oh do you throw about six orange tree ad pills into the

[00:01:30] Vitamix nice and then three scoops away and then just as much milk as it takes

[00:01:37] before until it has the consistency of calm yeah mmm yeah rich double rich

[00:01:43] chocolate come oh my favorite type just like the kind from home alone oh yeah

[00:01:48] and they have a version of home alone I yeah they make Kevin drink the chocolate

[00:01:52] come oh right robbers they catch him it just there come with a little nest

[00:01:58] quick and they hold them down and they I have a secret spy ring that spells out

[00:02:01] by more come yeah this tiger recorder they record the sounds of Kevin being

[00:02:08] penetrated on a nice his dumb yak back that he uses to trick adults I don't

[00:02:13] know it's dumb I think it's kind of cool it's Adams a very home alone style guy I

[00:02:17] was looking to review the sense that my family told on Facebook and one of the

[00:02:23] reviews for the Plaza Hotel was like our our son is autistic he's 23 years old

[00:02:29] and the one thing he always wanted was good a Plaza Hotel liked in home alone

[00:02:32] and they like recreated the movie for this like autistic man and like yeah

[00:02:38] it was very nice is yeah it feels like they were probably thinking this was

[00:02:42] gonna get some kind of publicity right right right yeah we just ended up being

[00:02:47] they wasted a bunch of money for like a Facebook review from some dad from

[00:02:50] Jersey for laying there like the statistic man killed two actors who were

[00:02:54] hired to play Robert yeah he beat them to death with rolling pins draped over

[00:03:01] the stairwell yeah a can of paint on a string your honor my client did say keep

[00:03:07] the change you filthy animal yeah up to a power outlet but he never saw their

[00:03:12] skeleton and the thing was working so kept attaching electrodes to them because

[00:03:19] it just started smelling like bacon the guy laid there fuck what an incredible

[00:03:24] film both of those what it not the franchise when they got rid of McCauley

[00:03:28] I think it went down there were five of those yeah they got that kid that kid

[00:03:32] was in a lot of stuff that other kid whatever the fuck that kid is those

[00:03:35] bangs yeah yeah the bangs out of his early life and he's trying to run from

[00:03:40] the fact that he was in home alone for I know I would love to be a child

[00:03:43] that home alone lost in Tel Aviv yeah I was in the Austin the bank stays in

[00:03:51] the bank just happy shit the whole time some smiling counting money yeah

[00:03:58] legal forms yeah I love paperwork anyway so yeah I mean I just think the the

[00:04:07] concept of a child exacting intense amounts of torture and pain on adults

[00:04:11] with cartoonish results I mean like they get electrocuted and then just have

[00:04:16] like soot on their face like that was the only consequence it really inspired me

[00:04:20] as a child to yeah to beat the shed my dad constantly like Ben Marjara did you

[00:04:26] ever you're gonna fucking take a shit in April's mouth I'm gonna shit in April's

[00:04:32] post April's trying to fucking wipe her pussy from the bathroom we're gonna I'm

[00:04:36] gonna put a turn on a spring it's gonna go up in the repussy wash I'm trying to

[00:04:41] wipe it yeah April's got a ovarian system I'm gonna make fun of her for it

[00:04:45] we're gonna go to the doctor we're not allowed to mention my uncle anymore

[00:04:49] because he's broke 12 yeah all right P all right P the cross-eyed don't explain

[00:04:57] to me there was too bad to walk too fat to live to use a golf cart guy oh hell

[00:05:03] yeah not too fat to rape though did he rape or did he grope he grope which is a

[00:05:07] form of rape you're right who falls of rape rape outright date rape grope

[00:05:13] anything Adam does yeah it's funny if you looked at us right now you probably

[00:05:21] think Adam wasn't the rapist but he is you sneak up on you that's why the

[00:05:25] rapist they come on all in all shapes and sizes they come on all whoa dude

[00:05:31] that's a crash man I'm sorry yeah yeah also questioning a woman is raped too

[00:05:37] so yep that's why I would never dare leave man's plaining man spreading

[00:05:42] Adam's constantly mansplaining I mean that's that's my man man tidbitting

[00:05:48] yeah your man dick sucking you're sucking off other men sweet god damn it I wish I

[00:05:57] didn't drink all that protein not dude you're fine now my mustache is turning

[00:06:01] hard oh nice the protein will make your mustache solidify oh yeah a lot of

[00:06:07] people know that that's one of the main reasons to drink that shit a stiff

[00:06:10] mustache yeah gives you nice hard yeah you know Tom Selicky bristley must

[00:06:14] yeah must all you could paint a fucking the side of offense with that must

[00:06:17] that's right now my friend call my way to get gum out yeah and you say come

[00:06:23] gum oh I may I thought you said come yeah which is another way rhyme is anyone

[00:06:28] notice that I know just that's good it rhymes in there it's both of those

[00:06:32] things are things Adams choose on your gum suck shoe on co you do how do you

[00:06:38] chew on just good fuck that shit you know like juicy fuck you's a good candy

[00:06:42] that's stupid zebra the zebra gums fun dude I'm with you the once the flavor

[00:06:47] goes which is immediately like 20 seconds look but it's a fun

[00:06:51] it's a fun 20 seconds now's the perfect opportunity to mention our new sponsor

[00:06:57] you know if it sucks big red whoa now you're being fucking crazy no the

[00:07:02] other thing in comes good now it's just gonna becomes garbage what the fuck

[00:07:07] what do you do evergreen shit no big league shoe yeah big league shoes where

[00:07:11] it's at big league shoes fine great big league shoe you're gonna say great big

[00:07:16] league shoe you're gonna talk about flavor going away dude that has horrible

[00:07:19] sour apple now you're trying what's the tape gum you can't say bubble tape

[00:07:26] yeah yeah it was a little bit of a juicy fruit and fucking big red or bad and

[00:07:31] then come with these fucking gimmicky ass gums bubble tape sour apple mm-hmm

[00:07:36] it's a good actually contractors use bubble tape on the job site so it's got

[00:07:40] a multi-purpose you can use it for to for measurements oh yeah that's what

[00:07:46] they pay the Mexican daily birds yeah yeah they love candy damn Zach you

[00:07:51] bailed me out that's why he's candy box so good he doesn't even let that's like

[00:07:58] she thank you candy they think I pick up the slack on a podcast for a living

[00:08:04] yeah oh that's right you're used to making someone funny oh yeah for this

[00:08:09] barely trying for those of you that don't know Zach is on a really good

[00:08:13] podcast called the real last dude podcast with Luce Gomez the fake Puerto

[00:08:17] Rican rattles now I let him have that shit okay I'm it I'm a

[00:08:18] I'm not mind up on I'm a salvation army that went over to Lewis now I am I'm

[00:08:25] a mess of his clothes I'm also a nice burn burn my second hand fidget

[00:08:30] spinner Lewis yeah secondhand cowboy hat whoa nice second and son yeah whoa

[00:08:37] dude bring his son into this well he brings it into it's fucked up man I'm

[00:08:42] a child yeah why would you bring up his son a little kid man no one does that

[00:08:47] fuck that's the one thing you don't do with Lewis you know we have a there's a

[00:08:51] line on this show all right we can talk about the factual things you do like

[00:08:56] rape but we do not bring up a child you know it's a great movie cool runnings

[00:09:00] oh of course absolutely yeah what made you think of that I don't know the

[00:09:04] part where he goes I am going to draw a line on your head so you look like a

[00:09:09] butt yeah that is great yeah there's some good like simple ass burns on cool

[00:09:13] runnings ah man good movie great movies yeah yeah Zach's over here drinking a

[00:09:20] fucking 40 it makes me feel like I'm like a bitch dude I should be getting drunk

[00:09:23] you don't drink though you don't really stop drinking to cut the weight

[00:09:27] yeah it's not working hey come on dude let's get it start drinking again you

[00:09:32] think they'll have cut the food well drink yeah huh drinking then work out

[00:09:38] you can lift yeah pull an uncle Ernie hell yeah dude just beer with an egg in

[00:09:42] it dude I'm getting so fat I'm 180 pounds now you are I weighed myself yesterday

[00:09:47] damn I'm not damn I'm 251 I was 270 something there on 420 mm if I dip under

[00:09:56] 250 dude I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a cute little bitch if I can get to 225

[00:10:01] that's what I'm looking at dude 225 225 dude that's pretty sick and the

[00:10:05] I'm trying to hit 200 pounds I got 20 more pounds I would oh my god if you hit

[00:10:10] 200 I'm gonna try and get under my trying I will do everything to my hour

[00:10:13] to be less fat than you I probably would just look exactly the same you

[00:10:19] gained mass which is depending on the location of the moon that's why I weigh

[00:10:24] more really yeah the tides yeah it's because of waning it's the waning to

[00:10:29] menstrual cycle as I do with me I get the alarm strong's fault I see so wait I've

[00:10:38] been fat my whole life though what about that yeah well you're just a piece of

[00:10:42] shit oh man me it's astronaut stuff okay you wouldn't understand fellow

[00:10:48] lifelong fat boys act yes we were as a as like a toddler where you when did

[00:10:52] you get fat I've always I've always for me it was they yeah I got a bad like

[00:10:57] in second grade it's weird because you think of yourself as a fat person for

[00:11:02] the rest of your life if you're fat in like sixth grade yeah when you first

[00:11:07] start getting hard you're never gonna have a normal personality no like fuck

[00:11:11] you're gonna try too hard the amount of skinny girls that have hit on me and

[00:11:15] then I see the stretch marks in the arm and I'm like oh you used to be massive

[00:11:20] of course yeah you can take the fat out of the body but it's always in the brain

[00:11:24] it's always in the brain they're probably just Jack oh yeah they were they were

[00:11:26] like China they're huge yeah they're probably just competitive body

[00:11:29] buildings like my wife Julia beautiful rush julie Nick only finds bodybuilders yeah she's got a seven inch clitoris but she doesn't dude she's all naddy she doesn't do test officer and I bet she doesn't even have a vagina yo

[00:11:43] yo you're all smooth China China had a big bustle it by step down there oh would

[00:11:49] you like to fuck a bicep sure that's that's a thing in like strong girls as long as

[00:11:54] it's Russian you know as long as it's from the Orient and you're filming it on a

[00:11:59] dash cam what's up with those Russians that are like half Asian looking you know

[00:12:03] well it's a casics it's a country that extends and wiggers it's weird yeah to

[00:12:09] Chinese Muslims oh is that really good it's called wiggers wiggard you that's awesome

[00:12:15] you I G W I G G is their favorite rap brand yeah yeah they they ride fuck

[00:12:23] are you sure that's not just cousin the Russian alphabet the use upside down

[00:12:28] yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a real-ass joke real-ass dude first of all this is

[00:12:37] one of those n-word saying podcasts you might be familiar with over a gas

[00:12:40] digital whether you know this or not Adams other podcast Chappo trap house

[00:12:45] which has been described as NPR for people who say cuss words yeah is also

[00:12:51] filmed in this studio yeah this is there's a lot going on here so we don't use

[00:12:56] slurs in here Zach no the N and NPR does not stand what I thought I think we did

[00:13:02] there a board is there we did that on we actually did that joke that's what would

[00:13:05] happen if Anthony Kumi when Trump got elected we said he gets NPR you know

[00:13:10] what Puerto Ricans is there like a is there like a whiteboard at gas digital

[00:13:16] it's like days without saying the N word or zero yeah fuck I feel like

[00:13:25] everything in that apartment was given to them for free by somebody sponsoring

[00:13:30] the show a lot of the equipment actually they bought our health is also

[00:13:34] independently well our our co-owners I mean he might as well he should be the

[00:13:38] department's fucking gorgeous it's beautiful I can't imagine what can you

[00:13:41] imagine how easy life would be to bring a girl home oh my god apartment that

[00:13:45] L opens open yeah also if you're like six nine yeah six that's the reason he has

[00:13:52] all that shit pretty good looking guy yeah it sounds like he had an easy ass

[00:13:55] life yeah he did fuck Ralph fuck him yeah how did you come down here to the real

[00:13:59] world yeah Ralph's work for a living thank you for having us though yeah I

[00:14:03] hard to work to get yeah it's great electronics yeah dude not very not very

[00:14:11] I just waited around for a very long time somebody made the mistake of paying

[00:14:16] me yeah thousands of people pay us for some reason thank you thank you everybody

[00:14:20] you make stimulating conversations like this possible okay I was gonna see how

[00:14:28] long we could go with just the last show we did exactly just did alphabets for

[00:14:33] like yeah we talked about different kinds of alphabets there are do you know

[00:14:36] any strange alphabets not a one now where'd you grew up Jersey Jersey yeah like

[00:14:41] 15 minutes out of the city oh Jersey alphabet yeah what's that aha there is a

[00:14:48] a bitch a bitch come gabagool is see yeah no it's c's gabagool yes D is

[00:14:57] D alphabet Tony Delphabot D is a again come back sits one through twenty six

[00:15:07] yeah that's funny F is forget about it of course G is

[00:15:13] yeah what yeah gabagool again or just the get about it part of forget about

[00:15:18] yeah G H is that forget head about it the F through I after I is all forget about

[00:15:27] it that's all just spelled out there as his Sopranos okay we were we don't

[00:15:33] either jump over yeah yeah yeah yeah I stopped it is yeah no 26 for stop for us

[00:15:40] not committing to the bed okay what are we got after that J know Jay Jersey

[00:15:46] pride Jersey Jersey Jersey sure okay I is by the way I challenge of course or

[00:15:53] Iraq Italian retards out cruising that's his own little sub chunk of the alphabet

[00:15:59] was K all the kikes there you go okay someone I just say it okay thanks that's

[00:16:07] what you're here for I'm allowed to earn most of your money for I try to say it

[00:16:10] every L is on yeah of course you know and say Garfield State and is not on

[00:16:16] Mooey or my that's actually pretty funny New Jersey being the Garfield State

[00:16:20] yeah I said a garden state we hate Mondays Mondays get out of here hey fuck

[00:16:29] you ODA you are right about and being mooly by the way and there was one

[00:16:34] black kid in my high school for a while and his name was Vin Cooley and we

[00:16:38] ever called him oh but like not in a mean way yeah go the word to the name

[00:16:42] Cooley the movie yeah oh my god oh my god he sounds like a minor character in

[00:16:50] the godfather no hate behind it yeah yeah there was no hate behind calling

[00:16:53] the one black guy racial a racial yeah and he totally went along with it I

[00:16:59] mean we would kill him otherwise but you know he's it was it was better than

[00:17:04] the jungles of Africa that's why he went with that more Thomas Loon cricket

[00:17:16] fuck so that's awesome so Mooly gets used even by non-Italian in Jersey

[00:17:20] 100% oh that's that's that makes me feel well when you're in there your family

[00:17:25] all right we all know what in is yeah yeah that bit with the last one but also

[00:17:29] oh oh no a lot of them are just yeah yeah half their language is just letters

[00:17:36] yeah they're very simple people the Italians P Pizan Pizano Pizan PQ is

[00:17:45] queer queer queer queer queer no that's cake way or G again I don't know all

[00:17:53] right retard yeah retard of course sure ass is stop roast not committing the bit

[00:17:59] I know some pranos no T is turnpike turnpike yeah just turnpike

[00:18:04] mmm hmm you is ugly as people in the country at least culture I think V is

[00:18:14] very ugly no seriously they're very ugly okay W right that comes after V what

[00:18:21] that do you know how fucking hard it is to remember the alphabet without the

[00:18:26] song yeah I know can you imagine how many people be illiterate if one guy

[00:18:30] wasn't like just do it as a song yeah you have to remember 26 things that's

[00:18:34] what's fucked up about DUI's where they make you do it without the song they do

[00:18:38] do it sober yeah make you do without the song yeah somebody make you do it

[00:18:41] backwards they can't make you do it backwards yeah yeah they do I think pulled

[00:18:45] me over and I they said I feel like I've been pulled over I did do well I

[00:18:49] didn't have to do a field sobriety test but even get out of the car and they

[00:18:51] talk me for a minute you've never gotten a DUI never wow I talked my way out of

[00:18:56] one that's I that's so crazy yeah that's you're like I'm a charming guy yeah yeah

[00:19:02] you know I'm good with police yeah yeah I call them I call them by their rank yeah

[00:19:06] that's a good tip you tell them they're good police yeah with police you see a

[00:19:10] sergeant you call them sergeant how do you know they got three stripes in their

[00:19:13] arm oh they look a sergeant insignia that is good yeah that only works if you're

[00:19:18] white oh of course yeah yeah yeah but I mean sweet and the cake yeah yeah you

[00:19:22] know but lysing on it yeah yeah yeah yeah you're talking about other people like

[00:19:26] do that you should never talk to the police in any circumstance you know it's

[00:19:31] like well you should if you can manipulate them and why do them yeah yeah

[00:19:35] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Bobby's so fucking char we got pulled over he

[00:19:38] was so charming with the cops making laugh and shit of course do that if you

[00:19:42] have that fucking ability yeah yeah do it why not I'm always scared yeah well

[00:19:47] always scared cuz I'm always got I'm always riding dirty that's that's why

[00:19:50] you'll never be a good actor why because I like you know you should be

[00:19:54] terrified if you are terrified and then you're able to charm people like that's

[00:19:58] that's what acting is yeah I'm actually a better acting you need to be no you're

[00:20:03] not I'm first much better let's do an act off I'm I'm first of all I'm sag okay

[00:20:08] so are you union I'm saggy in fact I think you are you are a sag it you're a

[00:20:12] second Bob's agit a good comedian maybe that's a horrible comedian I love that

[00:20:19] like that the real sign of a bad comedian is when the closer comes with a

[00:20:22] guitar yeah the fucking I love that the aristocrats was basically just a way to

[00:20:28] like let Bob Saget reinvent himself as not a dirty dad yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:20:34] because like people are like well Bob Saget is actually he's actually filthy

[00:20:37] actually and then for like two years after that movie came out of conversations

[00:20:41] people like did you know Bob Saget is actually like a dirty comedian I know

[00:20:45] that was if they were discovering it or right you know telling me about something

[00:20:49] that we didn't all see that fucking movie right right and there's no evidence of

[00:20:52] him being that guy prior to the aristocrats none at all I mean maybe maybe

[00:20:56] is exact but prior to the TV show no no didn't you just a blank like a

[00:21:01] run of shit yeah yeah you wasn't dirty at all on the kennison young comedians

[00:21:06] right right exactly that's a great one by the way the kids with the danger field

[00:21:10] of the kennison I see on it you know I'm sorry yeah no no I know you say because

[00:21:15] kennison was on that yeah it's a thing he started doing afterwards to like make

[00:21:19] up for the fact that he was like America's dad and he's like I have sex right

[00:21:24] right right you know cuz he would talk about like fucking Michelle yeah after

[00:21:29] come town once this show fails I'm gonna reinvent myself as a children's

[00:21:33] as America's dead yeah and everyone's gonna say like oh well did you know he

[00:21:37] was actually he just loved working with kids prior to that they forced him to

[00:21:42] come to America's frustrated stepdad yeah TGI Friday made me do come town do

[00:21:48] you think you you yeah and they could be a stepdad I could see it yeah that's

[00:21:52] actually you know what it's that seems a lot easier than being an actual father

[00:21:55] yeah yeah yeah I would prefer I would prefer to be you were born to be a step

[00:21:59] yeah yeah you have the emotional range you help me with my homework yeah yeah I

[00:22:04] don't have any genetic state I know but it's also like literally no I can't

[00:22:09] alright you're on your own damn homework I don't want to have no fucking kids my

[00:22:15] goal is to be the Dennis Leary dad from a sandlot who's like sort of an asshole

[00:22:21] is kind of hands-off and it's Dennis Leary the bad and I guess I won't beat

[00:22:24] you for yeah yeah losing my signed Babe Ruth baseball that is the that is that's

[00:22:30] the thing though with a stepdad that's the floor is so low like the bar is so

[00:22:35] low it's just like not being abusive it's why I chose to be a comedian yeah this

[00:22:39] is the easiest thing in the world it's pretty easy it's fine being a step

[00:22:43] that yeah right I actually think being a mother is the easiest thing in the world

[00:22:47] yeah it is I love that bill barely the easiest bill bird joke he's doesn't

[00:22:52] about well basically whatever dumb thing you think you came up with right

[00:22:56] now well no they say being a mother is the heart is that yeah yeah he's like

[00:23:00] it's the hardest job in the world you tell that to like a Navy SEAL yeah

[00:23:08] hell yeah try being a roofer is a redhead in July yeah fuck yeah dude man do you

[00:23:17] want to have children yes he was doing his whole little I got baby fever thing

[00:23:22] I sort of do yeah I turn to more mature women I kind of I mean I think about

[00:23:27] that sometimes but then I'm like I can't fucking have kids like I like I like

[00:23:31] babies I'm like fucking I like fucking kid I like you know I use a modifier I

[00:23:37] don't not a verb not that that I like children you just got you dude fuck you

[00:23:42] just got by Adam yeah Adam just did the did the go into prison and and rape the

[00:23:49] biggest guy yeah yeah fuck no the biggest guy's girlfriend just raped you

[00:23:53] yeah that's what happened yeah I got a rape the big guy now you're done now

[00:23:57] you're done you're done you're not allowed to sit on the bleachers no if he

[00:24:00] rapes the big guy then it's technically a gay recycling logo you have to hold

[00:24:04] on to Adam's belt loop and before before anyone talks about raping me

[00:24:07] reminders that I'm the warden of the prison not subject to the rape by the

[00:24:12] way I am raping I'm the former NFL quarterback they got thrown in jail for

[00:24:16] too many DUI's and then led the football team yes against the prison guards yeah

[00:24:20] that's one freedom yeah stops the insane guy from escape from Alcatraz

[00:24:25] that thinks he's Al Capone I've never seen that movie I know and it's an insult

[00:24:29] trust me stops the music of stops the prison bitch from con air yeah yeah the

[00:24:34] second that's who you are I know I'm not that guy I haven't seen it but I know

[00:24:41] I'm not that guy maybe that's actually Nicholas Cage maybe I told this story of

[00:24:44] the podcast but I saw con air in the theaters with my grandma my dad and the

[00:24:49] plane crashes and then that dude's like oh yeah he starts putting on dresses and

[00:24:52] wigs and stuff and I'm like dad what's going on my dad just turns to me goes

[00:24:56] he's a very sick man

[00:25:00] that's fucking my favorite thing about you so like con air and face off and the

[00:25:06] rock all came out like right away right right when Nick Cage was an action guy

[00:25:11] with one producer who made all those movies with Bruckheimer no no the

[00:25:15] Purdue not the the money man okay the movies the second the three were done

[00:25:20] coming out he immediately died of cocaine overdose

[00:25:24] three stories

[00:25:26] Jordan cocaine don't be done incredible dude that's beautiful those 90s story

[00:25:32] as a producer fuck I can't there's whatever the finance year was I imagine

[00:25:36] he's got his name on all three it's that that the guy from true romance that

[00:25:41] that producer that cartoon of a producer I don't remember that actual character

[00:25:47] yeah I just remember Gandolfini I remember the the Jamaican did you make a guy

[00:25:52] sweet odd now I gotta fuck you up that was a grandal fini was so good in that

[00:25:57] dude yeah I'll just do it to make to watch people's faces change yeah yeah that

[00:26:02] was fuck that's stuck with me that's why he's a great movie dude I might be the

[00:26:05] best I turned to wrote that I think turn to wrote it yeah yeah and that was it

[00:26:10] funny because like I remember not liking turntino when I was a teenager I

[00:26:14] thought right I still don't like reservoir dogs I don't think it's a

[00:26:17] pretty good movie that's a fun movie no it's not that good it is shut I'm not

[00:26:22] just saying that's all I really like it thank you I really like it only because I

[00:26:26] know what he was doing which what because I you're a very guy this is a very

[00:26:32] game pretentious I love it I feel like Tarantino's the hip-hop filmmaker okay

[00:26:36] just sample sampol's better movie he's talking about Rosh them on or something

[00:26:39] with reservoir dogs well and then it's taking a palim123 yeah yeah and a

[00:26:44] couple other heist movies he's just sampling those movies into one movie

[00:26:49] wait how is it taking a palim123 the codenames oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:26:55] that's literally right yeah yeah oh wow really yeah I just think that like I

[00:26:59] loved it at 15 and it didn't hold up whereas pulp fiction also loved

[00:27:04] folks in and has a great movie but yeah but reservoir dogs I just

[00:27:09] instinctually didn't like I hate Garbi Kitell I think he's a terrible act

[00:27:13] what that's crazy before have you seen the original Bad Lieutenant I have and

[00:27:17] it's nowhere near as good as porta call in the that is truth the second watch

[00:27:21] better fucking way way I original bad lieutenant was never even watched the

[00:27:26] original I think he just made that movie without he's like he just took the name

[00:27:30] and he like just he did what he imagined it to be that rocks yeah yeah

[00:27:35] this is fucking that movie is amazing I am going I'm going to New Orleans I

[00:27:39] should watch it yeah that's that's it really has nothing to do with the

[00:27:45] Orleans like the cold she's like filmed in Los Angeles yeah not even shot there

[00:27:50] my man Val Kilmer's in that movie to Val shout out Val yeah I mean I love

[00:27:57] Tarantino but for some reason it just never held up well yeah true romance

[00:28:01] sold me on him and then Jackie Brown when I saw Jackie Brown that's my

[00:28:04] favorite turns you know me to yeah really yeah I've tried it was on Netflix

[00:28:08] sick dude Jackie Brown so good tarantino just got engaged oh yeah to an

[00:28:12] Israeli which means that he's pro occupation folks yeah on the BDS all of

[00:28:18] his movies time to yeah big dick suck yeah one of my favorite proud foot

[00:28:24] fetishes to Izzy he's out of the closet and proud yeah he loves those that's

[00:28:29] why they're that scene and kill Bill with when manuma Thurman's like paralyzed

[00:28:33] and it's just a shot wiggle the toe yeah 17 minutes yeah yeah yeah that's right

[00:28:40] the opening sequence of Jackie Brown is just her feet in the airport for like

[00:28:44] like a five minute continuous shot and death proof is just shot so their feet

[00:28:48] out the fucking car oh yeah yeah that's also in there's a there's a lot of

[00:28:53] directors like that there's movies you watch where there's just a bazaar this

[00:28:57] guy likes to fuck yeah they do that with Cobra though they there was still

[00:29:00] out in his boots boots come out of that fucking shitty car who who wrote that

[00:29:06] it's another guy also named Sylvester that wrote Cobra really yeah I think so

[00:29:10] cat so best of the cat yeah sort of it's the cat we got a like a certain

[00:29:16] stuff we got remember sir to VJ that was a great big oh yeah the seafood chef

[00:29:21] yeah he's a seafood chef that was the whole always serves to VJ yeah Mike

[00:29:26] sir to VJ the only joke I don't remember that yeah yeah we said on the pod that

[00:29:30] was your joke yeah for whatever reason I don't like it at all I like it down

[00:29:36] there's only if the only meal anyone can eat it's a VJ

[00:29:41] um Zach's a big film guy though you know I feel like we should ask him about films

[00:29:46] we're probably oh you know that's not a film guys guys that is not what I'm

[00:29:49] here for I'm here to I'm here to talk about dicks dicks oh nice let's do it

[00:29:54] Zach's here to make the jokes that you guys can't yeah that's true Zach is

[00:29:58] my role is my role is consumer electronics purchaser and

[00:30:02] saiara that's right that's right I'm an word saiara lord n word saiara

[00:30:11] the loudest n word saiara in all of Northumberland

[00:30:15] they say he slurred a dragon

[00:30:20] he slurred a dragon to save the princess and he slurred her

[00:30:30] the final season of Game of Thrones as imagined by a man has never seen the show

[00:30:38] refuses to watch it should I get in the Game of Thrones no now that I have this

[00:30:44] big ass why not what's that dumbass girl that said that thing you're a boyfriend

[00:30:47] like girlfriend I can't believe we're all like just participating in this

[00:30:50] cultural movement she's like being part of Game of Thrones

[00:30:55] is like being part of a cultural movement I was like what like civil rights yeah

[00:31:00] yeah what the fuck are you talking about yeah it just she's made a couple

[00:31:03] statements to that effect yeah well at least she's hot

[00:31:06] um which friend is this does he listen no

[00:31:11] shout out to Adam's friend who you can probably figure out who he is

[00:31:16] yeah his ugly girlfriend that says dumb she's beautiful and she said one dumb

[00:31:21] thing oh fuck this is awesome he's gonna get yelled at for this

[00:31:24] he's gonna yell just like that breastfeeding lady that

[00:31:27] yelled at you yeah for trying to fuck her I'm sorry she had her tits out

[00:31:32] but Zach did say he wanted to talk about dicks and I think we should honor that

[00:31:36] oh yeah Zach is our first uh Zach what's the best horror movie

[00:31:40] I mean probably the shining as far as just best yeah that's true

[00:31:44] yeah you're right I like the right this is our movie I haven't seen

[00:31:47] the brood I have there you go I don't know what that is that about

[00:31:51] it's uh David Cronenberg movie and it's about a uh lady gets sent away to like

[00:31:56] a new age type therapy camp and while she's away her uh

[00:32:02] husband's taking care of her kid and all these murders start happening and they

[00:32:06] think the lady is doing them kronenberg has made so many fucking movies

[00:32:09] oh yeah they're bananas I remember like 10 years ago I thought I had seen every

[00:32:13] David Cronenberg not even close yeah they just made like 35 movies and yeah

[00:32:17] the brood I think is his best movie oh wow oh the brood yeah yeah I've seen

[00:32:22] that yeah that's what you see the root I don't know what that is

[00:32:26] yeah yeah the brood sounds cool it's probably a big strong guy wait is the

[00:32:29] roots about that like a part it's all it takes place in a apartment complex

[00:32:32] right more or less but the ladies away at like a weird camp yeah yeah I've seen

[00:32:35] that yeah and I realize it's it's a very good uh it turns into a great body horror

[00:32:40] movie yeah what is like one of my favorite movies

[00:32:44] very solid yeah I don't think I've seen a single David Cronenberg you really

[00:32:47] you have the flies in the fly obviously parts of the violence

[00:32:50] eastern promises dead video drums video drum is like the most famous one

[00:32:55] not that crash no crash the fucking one not this one about the racism yeah

[00:32:59] people that have a fetish for people that have been in car accident they

[00:33:02] getting car yeah James spader isn't it yeah it's great uh spider yes I love

[00:33:07] that movie I've seen most of the fly as a child on

[00:33:10] television yeah that stars uh me not me wish you were

[00:33:14] no I like you fly yeah I'm pretty odd actually yeah yeah you fucking ate

[00:33:20] bug brought into that one didn't you no I look like shit no I look like yeah

[00:33:24] they they hired a handsome version of you to be the beginning and then you were

[00:33:28] the fly I'm the beginning no bitch you're not

[00:33:31] stops the block I'm I'm I'm I'm the beginning yes you're the blob no I'm not

[00:33:37] yeah stops the principle from Billy Madison he

[00:33:41] changed up some plays a blob monster the chases people by staying stationary

[00:33:46] but he continues to eat until he expands and they run away but

[00:33:50] stavas hooked up to a cholesterol machine what am I eating he's got a tube in his

[00:33:55] mouth it's tasty directly into a what am I eating you're eating artisanal

[00:33:59] mayonnaise just mayo yeah nothing fun yeah cuz you're a crack ass white boy like

[00:34:05] you can I'm not first of all you're a crack ass man you're the crack ass

[00:34:08] I'm olive oil baby can't handle that I may only your mail I may only your

[00:34:14] mail fuck that your miracle whip I'm mustard I'm spicy brown deli mustard

[00:34:18] that's fine I'm of course you're our calories a little bit of sodium the

[00:34:22] best condiment it's not the best condiment absolutely

[00:34:26] yeah I'm not a nice brown mustard definitely yeah thank you so over like a

[00:34:29] over an aioli yes over an aioli aioli is just mayo just may have been with fun

[00:34:34] spices what the fuck what is the verse the three roger you fucking top off a

[00:34:39] fucking sandwich with it it's delicious is Russian dressing we should just call

[00:34:42] it catch up aioli mustard it's one literally every sandwich yeah mustard

[00:34:48] every sandwich hot dogs all right I thought you got me macaroni and cheese

[00:34:54] what the fuck yeah you're putting mustard try it dude what put spicy brown

[00:34:58] mustard and some stove top mac and cheese and tell us hey speck no thank you

[00:35:03] I'm a little tuna fish in there also that's Matt for a man mayo now we're talking

[00:35:07] tuna and spicy brown mustard macaroni and cheese absolutely

[00:35:10] maverick trap house puts a catch up on stove top macaroni and cheese is trash

[00:35:16] yeah that's fucking horrible dude how do you know that because he posted a

[00:35:20] picture on twitter on the week when he does chappo trap house oh yeah

[00:35:23] talk about it yeah i'm the seventh one can you verify that does matt do that

[00:35:28] do you do that

[00:35:31] and catch up mac and cheese yeah he still lives in the midwest he's since

[00:35:35] an adios but he lives here now anyway embers leaving the room to hide her

[00:35:40] macaroni and cheese with ketchup on her

[00:35:43] she wouldn't be fast not she's trying to suck up to my people

[00:35:48] no i don't do that it's just catching the door slams

[00:35:55] um fuck dude damn now i'm hungry you know i've been

[00:36:00] neat i'm on the atterol diet and i get very far

[00:36:03] right now half way through the day we got a hustle we got 24 minutes left

[00:36:08] on this what have we accomplished i don't know man i fucked up and drank all

[00:36:12] that protein yeah this is what happens we had like two good

[00:36:16] episodes we were like we're gonna start stacking episodes because the thing is

[00:36:19] i gotta go to san diego for a wedding yeah my fucking dumbass cousins getting

[00:36:23] wedded wedded to getting wedded to getting betrothed

[00:36:27] betrothed he's eloping with some some fucking girl i guess or something

[00:36:32] have you met her i think i did years ago they've been dating for like 10 years

[00:36:37] okay um but i mean i never see he lives in california

[00:36:40] you got a suit i thought you prepared yeah dude i went to hugo boss and i was

[00:36:44] like you know what i'm gonna get a nice suit for the first time in my life

[00:36:46] and then i put a suit on and like i just look like shit i'm like a shitty looking

[00:36:50] guy so i look terrible no you can find a good suit

[00:36:53] no i trust me dude i fucking went through all those suits i got the right sizes i

[00:36:57] looked at it and it's like the amount of like tailoring that would have to be

[00:37:01] done to make it work it just like what are you gonna wear that adidas

[00:37:04] track suit i went to target and got a super 80

[00:37:07] oh my god you fucking piece of trash it looks great it looks right it looks

[00:37:12] fucking good a target suit look do you keep putting it on for us right now yeah i'm

[00:37:16] going to i think it's fair because nick might have a target body

[00:37:19] that's true yeah he's probably a target

[00:37:23] but no one repeat that he said it off mike yeah it wasn't funny it wasn't

[00:37:27] good come back yeah he said because i'm a faggot

[00:37:30] because i'm a faggot um yeah i got a suit at this

[00:37:34] play suits the play oh this motherfucker got a tan suit

[00:37:38] whoo damn i'm actually on board don motherfucking johnson look at him

[00:37:43] wow it's the obama suit the republic has got mad at him oh you got a pocket

[00:37:47] square in there dude yeah you're ready to join nation

[00:37:50] vislam right there square in it that actually doesn't look bad wait stand up

[00:37:53] for a second is it flat back oh no there's a split in the middle split

[00:37:57] no you got it you got it open this yeah open that

[00:38:00] baby open this don't fucking tear my suit not tear the suit just open the

[00:38:04] only do that when you have to go to your first go bathroom no

[00:38:09] it'll break the seal yeah yeah you should throw the little hole

[00:38:14] whatever just take a sizzling whatever it doesn't matter the point is you

[00:38:16] actually do look kind of good yeah for an 80 dollar suit yeah yeah yeah

[00:38:20] that's what i'm saying damn should we go get suits out of them every day you

[00:38:23] look like you kind of have tints yeah it's like a jennet jaxes

[00:38:28] i have a built chest unlike you i have a pretty

[00:38:32] built chest you we could shoot admitted that you have

[00:38:35] both of you have admitted that to me yes you both have no one separately and

[00:38:38] privately you have a woman's body not about no i don't don't have

[00:38:41] color belt but i have a different have a pencil dress

[00:38:45] travel i've had sex with my penis multiple times

[00:38:48] and you're a woman do that with her body that's not true

[00:38:52] you've had sex with your own penis multiple times i have i fucked my day

[00:38:56] i i've inserted it um into my into my mouth multiple

[00:39:01] times what's the best wedding you've ever been to

[00:39:03] uh i don't i liked actually my friends got married in

[00:39:08] uh savannah georgia is pretty cool okay to go there they had like

[00:39:12] you know it's nice is that their parents had like a nice fancy wedding for them

[00:39:15] but the night before all their friends like had a it was like a the kids party

[00:39:20] it was like the kid all their friends had a you know party

[00:39:23] no but i smoked a dab for the first time at that wedding

[00:39:27] and that was like real drugs um yeah

[00:39:31] zag i feel like you've been to like a fun halloween themed wedding or some

[00:39:34] shit i purposely don't go to weddings oh really

[00:39:36] why i just don't want to be involved yeah but you really have to right i mean

[00:39:40] you can't just like blow off people she's never been to a wedding

[00:39:43] we've blown off so many people's wedding really yeah i i guess i'm the closest

[00:39:46] family member yeah but you've blown off oh i don't have any brothers or sisters

[00:39:50] or anything okay so nobody really i didn't go to my dad's

[00:39:53] wedding that's funny shit where was it

[00:39:59] somewhere in upstate new york i went to the reception like a piece of shit

[00:40:04] hell yeah that's the reception yeah i have open bar

[00:40:08] what no my nose 30 years sober it was alcoholless oh

[00:40:11] oh fuck your dad don't go to that wedding yeah well then if it's there's no alcohol

[00:40:14] then i guess by going to the reception you do i go to a really bad wedding and

[00:40:18] that was the most fun i had i went to uh

[00:40:21] friends of mine uh from that i was in a movie with

[00:40:23] and they got there was two actors got married and it was only great because

[00:40:27] it was like a destination wedding like outside a woodstock

[00:40:30] uh-huh oh yeah it's really pretty up there and no one showed up for it

[00:40:34] ah so it was just empty seats holy shit like a

[00:40:38] bunch of us went in a bus no one showed up for their wedding

[00:40:42] and it was the set it was just like sad and wonderful

[00:40:46] were they upset as shit no because they were so egotistical like they're like

[00:40:49] yeah we wanted a small wedding then i was and i there was like we're only

[00:40:53] chairs here jesus christ imagine no one showing up to your wedding

[00:40:58] i don't want to have one you don't have a wedding no

[00:41:00] what no i don't want to be a princess you're a political dude everyone gets in

[00:41:05] fights with their parents before a political yeah yeah

[00:41:08] you there your parents get offended by something their parents won then their

[00:41:11] parents get i don't want to deal with that my parents are going to be

[00:41:14] they're not going to be easy that they're going to be like we want

[00:41:17] 15 minutes of jewish dancing and i'm like no we get at least we were gonna get

[00:41:21] maxed ten which jewish dancing the chair actually straight i think seems fun

[00:41:25] i gotta say i gotta say i hate most everything i'm about to see them try to

[00:41:29] lift you up so the legs i was hanging out there for a

[00:41:32] while i hate i hate most everything about gi d of me ever being off the ground

[00:41:39] it seems fun to me yeah i want to have my fucking wedding on

[00:41:43] on a plane jewish dancing at weddings is actually like one of the only things

[00:41:46] i enjoy about being jewish and then all your non-jurish friends who were

[00:41:52] there are like fuck this is like is that a jewish song or like the

[00:41:55] yeah yeah you do have an a healer

[00:42:03] yeah that's the second part dude the second part the fun fast part where you

[00:42:06] dance

[00:42:09] dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance dance

[00:42:13] it picks up right the second part

[00:42:18] whatever you're never getting on that chair you're fat

[00:42:21] dude i'll get on that chair i'll be a braskel scooter maybe

[00:42:25] you should get you should get served up and marry a jew dude i'd marry a jew

[00:42:29] i like jewish yeah yeah what if she makes you guillotine that little

[00:42:32] the little hog yeah yeah robin hood men in tight style

[00:42:35] fuck that shit i'm never getting married i'm going insane that's my plan

[00:42:39] you're gonna join a club bossy no no i'm getting a big big house

[00:42:43] put a movie theater in it and start collecting my piss and jars

[00:42:47] or my fingernails out real hell yeah wait till my bipolar disorder kicks back in

[00:42:52] you know learn how to fly plans yeah real crazy i actually was looking into

[00:42:55] getting my pilot so that's pretty cool

[00:42:58] it's not that expensive that movie's uh not that bad

[00:43:02] the aviator yeah aviator it's great yeah i remember

[00:43:06] people saying it wasn't that good because it came out after gangs in

[00:43:09] New York which was like a complete piece of shit yeah it's better than the

[00:43:12] game in New York fucking yeah the bar was so

[00:43:15] low i guess people didn't have much faith in and square i know i didn't

[00:43:19] speaking from my experience i was so disappointed by gangs in New York that

[00:43:23] i was like hoping the aviator would be a lot better than it was and it was just

[00:43:27] sort of okay really i went back and watched it again and it was you know i

[00:43:31] love it yeah never seen it saw gangs in

[00:43:35] New York um do you want to get married i want to hear

[00:43:38] about zag zag wants to get married though you know yeah do you want to get married

[00:43:41] what a stupid conversation zag you fuck up bitch what is love to you i want to

[00:43:46] hear love who's getting married yeah come on dude i want to hear about my

[00:43:50] friends let's get back on movies okay i'm gonna

[00:43:52] make on this one all right yeah get back my previous thank you zag zag

[00:43:56] you want him to ask you about this bullshit about getting married say a

[00:43:59] movie bitch i just did the aviator we're talking about movies and you said

[00:44:03] well i haven't seen that so heck you believe in love that was adam to be

[00:44:10] fair i said that as a joke dude i was joking too

[00:44:14] okay i was doing a big joke all right i don't care but if my friends want to

[00:44:18] find love i don't even care it's fine guys go ahead talk about

[00:44:23] fucking some gay ass horror movie i haven't seen

[00:44:27] dude you should watch uh kronenberg you should go on a kick yeah you should

[00:44:30] i would actually you should at least you start with because it's the most

[00:44:34] they're most accessible is uh eastern promises in history of violence

[00:44:37] yeah watch those two and then i would go and then i would go

[00:44:41] scanners after that then the fly then crash i say video drum before the crash

[00:44:46] no i would say crash before video drum why because it's like it gets more into

[00:44:51] like kronenberg territory with video drama he's like uh

[00:44:53] kind of stacking the body horror yeah i see what you're saying

[00:44:57] yeah i see what you're saying because if you jump right into video drum it'll

[00:45:00] just be sort of weird you know all right yeah history violence and

[00:45:04] and eastern promises are more straightforward i really like kronenberg

[00:45:07] son's movie uh antiviral i've never seen it

[00:45:10] it's uh did you guys see uh get out yeah so i think we want to make an

[00:45:14] extra the brother get out that was like obsessed with mma oh yeah yeah that

[00:45:19] guy's a weird actor he looks like a weird trip

[00:45:21] drunk mccolley in get out i think but it was like

[00:45:25] that performance was so over the top and he was like trying to be

[00:45:29] like somebody else yeah why do you do that at accent he was way over acting

[00:45:32] yeah that was like fucking bizarre it but they like took me out of the movie

[00:45:36] but what the fuck wait he was way over acting there are family the traps

[00:45:39] black guys and fucking and the rest of them were good in the movie yeah but

[00:45:43] he's like he can't keep it together they were good at acting that guy wasn't

[00:45:46] i don't know what to tell you yeah he's like the crazy son i felt like he was a

[00:45:49] weird gangly dude trying to play a muscle bro yeah okay i felt like his face

[00:45:53] and body didn't match i felt like he was trying to be

[00:45:56] either nickelson or dep or doing that thing that like slater does where he's

[00:46:00] trying to be like uh fucking great actor you say look at this acting i'm doing

[00:46:05] right now and you know like the fucking hunched over the table and with his

[00:46:10] like loose mannerisms it was just it didn't fit the scene yeah the

[00:46:14] character would act like that it could be drunk or a little bit eccentric or

[00:46:17] whatever but this is like an actor showing you how well he can act

[00:46:22] and it it was like jarring i thought he was kind of playing the

[00:46:24] the fact the fuck up of the family now that weird dinner table that was like

[00:46:28] it took me to watch it again because this thing and then people fall for it

[00:46:32] they think wow that's great acting because that happens i mean i didn't

[00:46:35] think it was like in jango when fucking when when

[00:46:37] uh lien aridic aprio is like you know uh yelling and smashes that

[00:46:42] a lot do the player yeah he's what he's talking about the skull shape and he

[00:46:45] splashes it on the table and he cuts it in and i remember being in the theater

[00:46:48] and i'm like oh he'd actually cut his hand it looks like he actually cut his

[00:46:52] hand and they just kept rolling yeah and then like a week later they're like

[00:46:56] wow he actually cut his hand it's like yeah no shit it's fucking takes you out

[00:46:59] of the scene yeah because he's doing this big performance

[00:47:02] and then there's a second where he realizes he's fucked up and it destroys

[00:47:05] the momentum in the scene there's no reason to keep it in there

[00:47:09] anyway antiviral uh so it's that guy and he plays guy who it's like uh

[00:47:14] not so distant future where he works at a place that sells celebrity diseases

[00:47:20] oh shit so people come in and they'll be like these like famous like pop stars

[00:47:24] or youtube stars and they'll be like we have her herpes

[00:47:27] or like her this and uh he's stealing them by giving himself the disease

[00:47:33] taking them home and separating it from himself

[00:47:37] so he steals this actress's disease to like get it before it's like on the

[00:47:41] market and then she drops dead so he realizes he gave himself

[00:47:45] something that's gonna kill him oh shit so like he's actually really good

[00:47:49] because his body works for it he's like walking with a cane he's like

[00:47:53] dying throughout the movie oh yeah people are trying to hunt him down

[00:47:57] to get the disease back from him before he sells it on the market

[00:48:00] damn and he gets up through this heat so he like the guy

[00:48:04] the black market guy he works for sells celebrity stakes

[00:48:08] where they clone celebrities and sell the meat for people to eat at home

[00:48:12] holy shit it's really cool it's very crown and birth

[00:48:14] that's just straight up they're literally like growing

[00:48:17] celebrity bodies and making the meat it's really cool i like it a lot

[00:48:21] that's cool that's tight what i wouldn't do you can see maybe at

[00:48:24] cop of course yeah i love those movies yeah tremendous movies

[00:48:28] then what's that about i just bought uh shutters about america now

[00:48:33] yeah what's shut it it's a documentary

[00:48:35] hot take yeah shutters uh like a horror subscription service

[00:48:39] yeah oh nice i haven't used it yet i've watched i re-watched street trash the

[00:48:43] other day you see that of course yeah i love

[00:48:46] street trash and uh it was like it was like a available on

[00:48:49] shutter and then i bought shutter and then i went back to it and it's like

[00:48:52] available for free on amazon yeah i was like oh all right well

[00:48:56] bitch ass watch on amazon they got your ass i never got into

[00:49:01] horror movies just because they never scared me really

[00:49:03] they didn't scare you not really oh adam's too cool for a horror movie

[00:49:07] scared me i'm a little baby bitch dude i get scared by that and roller

[00:49:11] coasters yeah it's not even that the roller coasters

[00:49:14] is like a camp value and there's an appreciation for like

[00:49:17] i mean i'm seeing process when they don't have a lot of money and they

[00:49:20] do cool things yeah props and stuff you know movies pre-sick the oh man

[00:49:23] it's like there's a humor to a horror movie like that when the the pussy eating

[00:49:27] scene and reanimator is very funny and i got his head cut off

[00:49:31] and he's eating the woman's pussy with his severed head

[00:49:35] that's awesome that's how i want to die dude i made my family watch a couple

[00:49:39] watch get out when i was at home uh-huh and uh

[00:49:42] my mom and grandma left and then my dad paused at like 30 minutes in

[00:49:47] and he could not stand alice and williams he just couldn't stand her character

[00:49:51] he's like she's fucked in the head there's something

[00:49:54] fucking off with her and i'm like just watch the rest of the movie he's like

[00:49:57] you said this was a comedy you said this was a comedy and i was just like

[00:50:01] please can we just finish the movie i made my grandpa watch grandma's boy

[00:50:07] like 20 minutes and he was like what the fuck is this this is the most

[00:50:13] terrific thing i've ever seen it's so fucking funny yeah he was mad

[00:50:17] were you just trying to have that relationship with your grandfather

[00:50:19] no me my cousin we're gonna watch grandpa grandma's boy or whatever we want to

[00:50:23] watch a movie and like you know grandparents want to watch gay

[00:50:26] shit like fucking meet me in st louis or sunset boulevard

[00:50:31] drawn with a win i fucking love grandma's boy dude sunset boulevard is great

[00:50:35] i want to watch an old movie with a bunch of singing in it

[00:50:38] you know my grandma's bananas she rolls i watched dead alive with my grandmother

[00:50:41] oh really and she's just sitting through it and when it gets dead alive is uh

[00:50:44] peter jackson movie it's it's super it's like over the top banana splatter

[00:50:48] and like halfway into like the most violent part of the movie my grandma

[00:50:51] goes i get it it's like a cartoon i was like holy

[00:50:55] shit you totally get it yeah it's where you get it from was that a new

[00:50:58] zealand movie was it like yeah yeah it was before he came over

[00:51:01] yeah it's funny to realize like all like the old people in your family you

[00:51:05] just think that it was like bullshit dumb old people but it's like no they're

[00:51:09] your relatives like i think i told the story about

[00:51:12] that's where grandma always saw i thought of you as a bullshit dumb old person

[00:51:15] you know what i'm fucking talking about old people we don't you don't think as a

[00:51:18] child they're grandma you used to fuck yeah it's funny when you realize they

[00:51:22] did come on the first time you realize your grandparents fucked

[00:51:26] oh yeah well my my dad tells this story of like

[00:51:29] going to his grandmother's deathbed and she was like this oh like hard

[00:51:33] fucking in it hard old bitch no no so she was going she was like

[00:51:36] pretty much completely senile and so she was going through this like

[00:51:40] youthful like horny stage where she'd go lucid for five minutes and then talk

[00:51:45] about like some shit she did when she was young

[00:51:47] whoa and so like he said he was like going to visit her for the last time

[00:51:50] and then she just snaps into this story about going into the forest in russia

[00:51:55] and pulling her dress up for like five boys and letting them touch her

[00:51:59] and he's like grandma and he was like yeah he's like yeah even people in like

[00:52:05] 1890 whatever were yeah they were all horny and

[00:52:09] being hoars and going into the woods yeah oh like my uh my my first girlfriend's

[00:52:13] grandpa got dementia and then he just would say weird shit all the time

[00:52:18] and she had this fucking little like dog you know

[00:52:21] and uh he was on the couch one time and the dog sitting next to him

[00:52:24] the dog's like looking his hand or whatever and he's like

[00:52:27] I think she wants to have sex with me

[00:52:33] oh yeah dude yeah did he fuck the dog he did he fucked the dog right there

[00:52:37] what that's awesome that's wild I love that old people

[00:52:42] fuck dude especially when they fuck animals

[00:52:45] oh yeah oh yeah don't they all get STDs because they don't know what

[00:52:49] she's fucking yeah because they can't stop them from

[00:52:52] fucking because they all have Viagra in their fucking

[00:52:54] you're fucked an old lady's act now my oldest is like 48 okay

[00:52:58] that's an old lady that's pretty old what'd you mean her basically she was

[00:53:02] comic she was a comic wow maybe she was a janeen

[00:53:06] no no i thought maybe it was janeen the the pore and star

[00:53:11] alia yeah 48 year old comic do you have sex with Ellen DeGeneres

[00:53:16] no she's like an open uh she's like an open mike

[00:53:19] jersey or New York in New York nice dude who is it just tell us oh he's

[00:53:23] Karen definitely don't want to say is it Karen fian what is it Karen 48

[00:53:28] oh don't make him say she just has the skin of a 48 year old yeah

[00:53:32] i'm not making him say i'm doing a bit around making him say it

[00:53:36] i'm very tactfully not making him say i don't know man making it seem like i

[00:53:40] making him say it seems like you are.

[00:53:42] comedic reasons please don't underestimate my ability

[00:53:45] to be a broadcaster stop dude i'm worried about my friendship

[00:53:48] and i'm worried about him i was worried about his love

[00:53:50] worried about you your fucking legs look awful you got

[00:53:53] bedswars and your fucking knees i gotta get him tanned up

[00:53:56] they're fucking white right now what's it what's it get a little sun

[00:54:00] you look fucking awful dude no absolutely not you look

[00:54:03] your legs plenty of evidence your legs make it on the internet look like

[00:54:07] star wars here they are a little spotty they're a little spotty because it's

[00:54:11] cold and they're been letting us let her count

[00:54:13] yeah you know and it's just people it's freezing in the middle of july stuff

[00:54:17] i'm right by the you know what's that fuck you what was that bitches name

[00:54:20] tell us right now what i'm by the fucking ac it's cold you got these leather

[00:54:27] couches that fucking you know yeah the problem is that they're leather

[00:54:31] couches that's why your yeah your skin gets on leather

[00:54:35] veins that's the coldest place to be in the middle of july on a leather couch

[00:54:39] by an ac yes you cock suckers yes it is very cold

[00:54:42] every you know what the listeners know that i will be vindicated

[00:54:45] you know what i'm talking about you know guys leather is cold when it's right

[00:54:49] by the i'll just i'll just say this about nich going for stuff um

[00:54:52] there's an old poem from the holocaust that says first they came for the

[00:54:56] communists and i did nothing because i wasn't a communist uh-huh

[00:54:59] and then they came for the trade unionist and i did nothing as i was in the

[00:55:03] trade unionist beat this up we know where you're going with it and then they came

[00:55:05] for stavras no and i did not know you fucking idiot

[00:55:09] it would be first i came for adam and i did nothing oh yeah first they came for

[00:55:13] the jusia man here's the point though i'll be fine because i'm not a bitch

[00:55:17] well the story is about you so shut up man no anyway um then it comes for you

[00:55:22] yeah and you know what i do i'm not coming for anybody i'm defending

[00:55:25] myself from i've never once attacked anyone on the show

[00:55:31] i have never done that i made always self-defense i may have retaliated

[00:55:35] he's never attacked anyone the way cops have never attacked anyone yeah

[00:55:39] he's always been acting about it i was worried about myself and fellow

[00:55:42] officers i was worried i love when cops do that they murder

[00:55:46] somebody and then they have to give that stock

[00:55:48] responsive i felt that my life in the lives of my fellow officers were

[00:55:52] endangered and it's like well he said it he said the words that get you out of

[00:55:56] being in trouble he was selling loosees and second hand smoking never

[00:56:00] i was worried about my life in the lives of my fellow they can even like

[00:56:04] personalized your fucking lie at least you know

[00:56:07] come on yeah you know what i should teach a class to the cops who i've

[00:56:11] lied my way out of things with in terms of how to manipulate people in a way

[00:56:16] that makes you think that they're you know what it is you have been so

[00:56:18] by giving back to the community it's salesmanship that's what it is

[00:56:22] you got to learn why don't you come spend a day with me at the kiosk

[00:56:26] that's right i'll teach you how to trick some forty six-year-old divorce

[00:56:29] black man and buying three hundred dollars worth of ringtones

[00:56:33] and many people won't hate you so much will you ever go back to the kiosk

[00:56:36] just for the love of the game dude uh do they even exist anymore

[00:56:39] no now they're like uh all israeli's yeah it's all israeli i remember

[00:56:43] it was funny i worked for these two ryan guys you've been to the Dead Sea

[00:56:45] i've got to the other excuse me a beautiful hey sexy girl have you been

[00:56:50] to Dead Sea and then they you know they touch your face and your hands

[00:56:53] or whatever they're disgusting dude they're fucking great so get out of my

[00:56:56] country they uh they it was funny i worked for these two ryanian guys

[00:57:00] and the ryan you guys hated them because you know they're ryanian

[00:57:03] and uh they would they would fucking these really guys that work there and

[00:57:07] then the guy i work for you'd always be like dude they're fucking missad they're

[00:57:10] missad agents i guarantee it they're fucking just sneaking into this

[00:57:13] country and it's a missad cell and then like two years later there was an

[00:57:16] article in the washington post that there was some missad cell whoa

[00:57:20] implanted in like those like helicopter fucking selling places in the moles

[00:57:24] really yeah roans no before drones just the like

[00:57:28] yeah they were just like remote control helicopter really

[00:57:31] uh yeah that fucking that that ryan dude was right

[00:57:34] that's awesome yeah damn truth is is they're they're

[00:57:38] all missad agents one way or another i mean adam is technically technically

[00:57:43] i am as an agent of missad he's more he's more noth yeah i made a

[00:57:47] i swore a note i swore a note games bond yeah

[00:57:51] games bond the financial instrument games games bond stein yeah

[00:57:56] um we were all telemarketers right double oh yeah we did have some we did

[00:58:01] tell them double oh slaven how about that one that

[00:58:03] slaven that's a jewish name slaven's lucky number slaven that movie yeah but

[00:58:07] that's a jewish guy in the movie is it okay that works he's about have a double

[00:58:11] olevene that doesn't make any sense yeah you're right

[00:58:14] yeah double uh double uh

[00:58:17] double uh zac also is a part of the telemarketing

[00:58:20] crew nick oh yeah yeah we all work to sell what did you

[00:58:24] sell i didn't i renewed uh business to business

[00:58:28] magazine subscriptions hell yeah what a fucking

[00:58:32] fortune dude i love i miss working in a call center

[00:58:36] it's a level of lying that i miss doing on a daily basis i used to do

[00:58:40] telefunding too for the oh yeah the simp the bso yeah

[00:58:44] that shit was hilarious you just call up like fucking

[00:58:47] old rich old people and you'd be like the orchestra really needs a thousand

[00:58:51] dollars and they'd be like well okay just fucking right

[00:58:55] to check for a thousand dollars to the orchestra jesus christ i would lie my

[00:58:59] balls off i was the worst because it was uh i would call people who had like

[00:59:04] really specific like business magazines uh-huh like tire

[00:59:08] right right right right and i would never want to talk to the person i would

[00:59:12] always talk to the secretary but i would word it like hey

[00:59:17] because the subscription would be like a year

[00:59:19] uh been a year since they had gotten it and they would just be getting free

[00:59:23] copies i worked i worked at a pizza restaurant and there was one of those

[00:59:26] magazines there's a pizza expo or something it was a

[00:59:30] pizza magazine and the cover was just like big fat guy at a podium

[00:59:34] yes oh my god i want to go i want to attend

[00:59:40] the pizza conference that sounds like alexus is giving a keynote this year

[00:59:45] yeah it is funny man i when i worked at popa johns there's this manager gave me

[00:59:48] a hard time about not having a visor and so i kind of hated him and once i

[00:59:52] had asked him a question and i was like hey kenny and he turns around he's like

[00:59:55] yeah and he was making a pizza and he had just thrown the dough up in the air and

[00:59:59] he turns and addresses me as if he's not doing anything with his hands

[01:00:03] and then with one hand he throws the pizza up in the air and the pizza's

[01:00:06] spinning in the air and then he's sort of just like doggy paddles the edge of

[01:00:11] the pizza like the well he spins it it's well he can spin it already a lot of

[01:00:16] guys can spin it i can sort of spin but i mean he spins it and propels it

[01:00:18] forward he spins it but it's in the air by itself

[01:00:21] spinning which you know the momentum is keeping it up yeah yeah

[01:00:24] it's all right up a bit but that he's just sort of lightly

[01:00:27] doggy paddling the side of the pizza yes making it continue to spin right

[01:00:32] well he's like what's up dude and it stayed up there for like

[01:00:35] three or four seconds which doesn't that's my next trick sorry ronma yeah

[01:00:40] it's pretty fucking long that's why it was bizarre seeing how talented this

[01:00:44] man was throwing a piece of fucking dough up in the air

[01:00:47] oh man it's like yeah i guess that's what happens if you

[01:00:49] stay at your first job yeah 36 years old

[01:00:54] you can impress me for literally four seconds i love what pizza places have

[01:00:58] the sign that's all in spanish and then it says also needed pizza man

[01:01:02] yeah i love that's just the name of the job yeah yeah yeah

[01:01:05] not like cook no pizza man yeah why like it

[01:01:09] by not making your it uh you know gender neutral it still has some respect

[01:01:14] to yes yes it sounds like doctor or lawyer right

[01:01:18] right president instead of law person or

[01:01:21] medicine comedian

[01:01:26] dr quinn medicine bitch

[01:01:31] whoo i look i look at the title of that show just gets like progressively

[01:01:36] more derogatory yeah it was all right she was already

[01:01:38] dr quinn yeah just call it dr quinn yeah

[01:01:42] medicine woman dr quinn yeah not a nurse yeah

[01:01:47] it's like uh president hillary law bitch

[01:01:51] government bitch uh that's a good show i'd watch that

[01:01:55] yeah i would viep supposed to be funny i've watched an episode of two or that

[01:02:00] that shows pretty good i think i was out of lane dude what's his name

[01:02:02] yinichi left this season or two seasons ago and it's apparently not as good but

[01:02:08] i haven't i haven't watched this it's like season two

[01:02:10] but lemme have been hot in everything i just got caught up

[01:02:12] she gets hotter every year i just got it in troll

[01:02:15] what really completely nude runs across a field in

[01:02:18] trol get out of town she's so hot highly underrated

[01:02:21] in trols trol the new movie animated trols

[01:02:25] oh wow that's a way gi trol

[01:02:30] uh yes uh but uh uh i just got caught up on better call

[01:02:36] it's all nice it's getting good that show is like

[01:02:40] so slow yeah to build i feel like not they're gonna go 35

[01:02:44] seasons and the very last one is gonna be like a glimpse of wall to white

[01:02:48] driving through a drive-through in the background

[01:02:50] we were gonna be like this is it something's finally going to happen

[01:02:55] yeah most of it is just saw just being a shitty lawyer i mean dude

[01:02:59] honestly like i enjoy watching the show and i binge watched all of the last

[01:03:03] season i like deliberately didn't watch it while i was airing so i could just go

[01:03:06] through all right right so it is a good show because it keeps me

[01:03:09] watching but i don't know how much of it is just me waiting for a moment to be

[01:03:12] like oh so that's why that happened on breaking

[01:03:14] that right exactly yeah yeah because the big thing that what i hated about the

[01:03:18] end of breaking bad is like uh donal audio doesn't kill

[01:03:22] gusts spring and the reason he doesn't kill him

[01:03:26] spoiler because he goes uh he's like you know he says something along the lines

[01:03:30] of like don't think your connections in chelay will protect you or whatever

[01:03:34] and they never fully explain his connection with that magical company

[01:03:37] yeah so anything that happens in better call

[01:03:39] soul is just sort of like the two things you're waiting for is

[01:03:43] figuring out what the fuck happens that like

[01:03:45] jimmy alienates kim wexler so that she's off the show and that she's not in

[01:03:49] breaking right right right she's got to be dead

[01:03:52] she's got to be dead or something happened because that is interesting they have

[01:03:55] such like a boy he's got to be the first person she's got to be the first person

[01:03:58] he puts in that witness protection yeah yeah it's it's got to be something big

[01:04:02] and like that's worth watching for it but it's also like

[01:04:05] just tell me what the fuck happened you know you just what you could read a

[01:04:09] wikipedia that would be fine i just want to that's honestly the

[01:04:12] what wikia is for is like feeding it like there should be just some

[01:04:15] novelization of breaking bad to some nerd red

[01:04:18] yeah can sum it up for me that's what i did with game of thrones i got so

[01:04:22] frustrated about like all the cliffhangers i just read

[01:04:25] the game the game of thrones wikipedia i found out everything that was going to

[01:04:29] happen i did that with a bunch of your shows yeah

[01:04:32] the tutors maybe the thing that i want i did that with gotham recently and i was

[01:04:37] like the penguin the penguins gay he's just gay on that show oh yeah dude the

[01:04:42] gay penguin he's sucking off the little penguin penguins penguins are gay in

[01:04:45] nature really there's like a lot of gay penguins yeah the male penguin takes

[01:04:48] care of the babies which is uh which is pretty good which is what being

[01:04:51] gay i wanted better call saw to go more into the jesse pinkman

[01:04:56] middle school years find out when he learned how to say like bitch and stuff

[01:05:00] yeah did you guys see the breaking bed or which version of the first

[01:05:05] episode of breaking beds did you guys see i saw the one that had the nudity in

[01:05:09] it i saw and then it was disappointed with the rest of the i saw when it first

[01:05:12] aired live you know there's the pile there's the version that they shot

[01:05:17] which has titties and a hand job whoa because originally it was going to be an

[01:05:21] HBO show oh fuck yeah dude so waltter white kids straight up

[01:05:24] jerked off by who his wife his wife his wife and then uh jesse pinkman has like

[01:05:29] a topless girl hanging out the window of his house nice

[01:05:32] and then they made an edited version for the amc

[01:05:35] in the written pilot though oh you're right make well no there's two versions

[01:05:39] of the first episode the pilot of eastbound and down

[01:05:42] leaked like nine months before the i think even before it got picked up

[01:05:46] and the so me and my friends in college watched that like 30 minute pilot

[01:05:51] like a thousand times and then when it aired for the first time they changed

[01:05:56] a ton of it like i think the whole second half was different yeah

[01:06:00] have you ever read the bile of resbound it is so fucking funny it is so funny

[01:06:04] it is so funny it's also like very racist oh yeah

[01:06:08] amazing man the weed i mean those are two those are two actually amazing pilot

[01:06:12] scripts breaking bad and eastbound and down yeah there was one for drama and

[01:06:16] what no but just beyond how good the shows are like as a pilot script just

[01:06:20] as a as an example of a pilot script where we write the come-town movie

[01:06:24] i mean well breaking bads good just for like how tight it is yeah yeah

[01:06:28] um who's maybe i would have stuck with break bad if there was more titties

[01:06:33] and one other like thick account what are you doing what are you looking at some

[01:06:37] girls in secret another fat person oh yeah me and

[01:06:41] me and nick have a similar affinity for oh yeah we do

[01:06:45] tunish but anytime i yeah anytime i like i'm look at one of those it's always

[01:06:48] like also followed by zach is not funny yeah

[01:06:51] that's a del gobry um s dot adel gobry some

[01:06:57] you definitely we talked about her uh at ralph's and she's literally like she'll

[01:07:01] take it and she's got the top half of a regular person

[01:07:04] and then just the ass and thighs of a morbidly obese person yeah that's like

[01:07:09] that's who i follow honestly yeah mostly do you actually is that

[01:07:12] actually what you want to have sex the kind of person you want to have sex

[01:07:15] with yes nice yeah it's like fucking a centaur

[01:07:18] yeah it's like a different kind of person

[01:07:21] you know do you follow we talked about it uh on the lat you know julia

[01:07:24] vins yeah yeah big fan of julia vins oh so you like bodybuilders too

[01:07:28] no julia is a special case i'm not in the female bodybuilders but julia is like

[01:07:33] no is that's kenzach i know yeah no i i'm saying that it's special

[01:07:36] oh oh you're both wow you guys make a lot of uh

[01:07:40] a lot of crossover what is it but you also fuck dude sometimes right

[01:07:44] it's happened yeah i like it my dick sucked oh nice i think that's the

[01:07:47] explanation yeah i mean that like i let adam suck my

[01:07:50] dick sometimes and stop you i mean come on we can be honest you've

[01:07:53] sucked my dick you don't let me suck your dick you demand you

[01:07:56] bet you bet you know i actually did say i break in

[01:07:59] your room and suck your dick against your will

[01:08:02] well i'm asleep yeah only because i can't demand that you do it yeah no will

[01:08:06] if i were awake no no i wouldn't do it if you asked me to i

[01:08:09] actually have fallen asleep because it's a power

[01:08:12] right when i gain an erection there's no blood left in my body care brain

[01:08:18] so i lose consciousness i have a seizure every time i miss stroke every time i

[01:08:22] get hard you have to resuscitate me so i can do the

[01:08:26] show i'm blowing your dick that you wouldn't be able to do without me

[01:08:30] uh fuck well that's that i'll probably do it for this week boys oh man i wanted

[01:08:34] to hear more about jack and his dick sucked oh yeah go ahead and finish that

[01:08:37] story and i'll turn off the corner it's like to live his dreams

[01:08:40] huh i'm just kidding i was i mean it's the funniest

[01:08:44] that i don't know why i'm thinking uh my old manager i found out i got

[01:08:48] one of my friends was gay uh who i did not know was gay uh-huh because he

[01:08:53] blew my old manager from craigslist and he killed the funniest thing i've

[01:08:59] ever heard wait i'm a little manager he used to run

[01:09:03] a comedy club in the village uh-huh called me

[01:09:07] and was like uh pal uh i believe you have a friend

[01:09:12] uh who was an actor and uh i think you should know that he is a homosexual

[01:09:17] wait my manager was gay my manager was like a creepy old boy

[01:09:20] why did he have a major was doxing other gay men

[01:09:23] and uh but here is so he calls he's like just so you know

[01:09:27] i uh was on craigslist men for men and this gentleman came over

[01:09:32] and gave me a blowjob and then we were hanging out and talking and he talked

[01:09:36] about how he does movies and i had mentioned you and said maybe

[01:09:40] that uh he should speak to you about maybe making some independent horror

[01:09:44] films and he got all white in the face and had a panic attack

[01:09:50] and made me promise to never tell you that he was in fact gay

[01:09:57] what the fuck he goes just so you know your friend

[01:10:01] has a daddy fetish and asked how to fuck his mouth while he called me daddy in

[01:10:05] the ride holy shit and i was like because he's an

[01:10:08] older guy yeah he was an older gay dude and i was like

[01:10:11] amazing why are you telling me all this he was well

[01:10:15] i told him that if he did not let me fuck him in the ass

[01:10:18] and uh and uh blow me again that i would tell you

[01:10:23] and it's been three days and he will not answer my calls so now i am calling you

[01:10:27] jeez that your friend is a homosexual what a

[01:10:31] fucking piece of garbage that what is a normal

[01:10:34] community you know this black valley it just sounds like a

[01:10:40] enormous day of my life i called my 20 people to repeat that story

[01:10:46] i spent over an hour and a half dude that is amazing was he a shitty boss

[01:10:50] he was a shitty boss and it was my least favorite friend i fucking oh really oh

[01:10:54] so you know my boss a game stop shit his pants one time at work and that was

[01:10:58] like the greatest but if if i had heard if that had happened to me

[01:11:01] oh yeah oh man i probably i could have killed myself that yeah yeah yeah it was

[01:11:06] the happiest i've ever been yeah yeah that's a great story

[01:11:10] he actually his name was adam Friedland yeah that's so funny that i'm not an

[01:11:13] actor yeah oh yeah i am an older gay man that

[01:11:17] runs the company club um no you're the you didn't even listen to the story

[01:11:22] yeah the boss was an older gay man who ran a

[01:11:25] comedy club manager of the manager it was a manager yeah

[01:11:28] guy that ran the comedy club was the one that fucked him and told him

[01:11:31] no that was an actor friend of his yeah it was an actor for it was it was

[01:11:34] the my manager ran a story i listened to the story didn't

[01:11:36] well i was finding ways to criticize you okay i was wrong to ask you failed

[01:11:40] you fucking piece of shit i'm doing my job that was an epic fail

[01:11:44] that was that guy he did love the doc's secret gay dudes

[01:11:48] oh that's horrible when we when we're no longer recording mayor paul i will

[01:11:52] tell there was a guy who ran a bar show okay it was also a secret gay man who

[01:11:57] got caught blowing alan fin

[01:12:00] same neighborhood wait wait same block

[01:12:04] but tim dill is not in the closet no same block hold up

[01:12:07] no not not where they live where the show is blocked yeah okay but

[01:12:11] hundred shitty show is like a million shows that is

[01:12:13] it's so funny do goal you can't say that that's the

[01:12:15] somebody that the best yeah sorry continue no the best and the worst

[01:12:19] comedy in the world is on that fucking ball in the

[01:12:21] in the greatest village yeah gay man it's it's it's really funny it reminds me

[01:12:26] sopranos are to do this but when they find out

[01:12:28] the veto is gay so tony goes oh so he was getting his dick sucked by a security

[01:12:33] guard and he's like no he was sucking a security guard's dick and they're like

[01:12:37] whoa my favorite part of the whole veto is gay thing

[01:12:41] is uh when uh meadow is telling carmala yeah yeah and tony comes downstairs

[01:12:47] it is robed and he's singing aqua long yeah that's right

[01:12:51] don't know but we got to tell you something tony yeah

[01:12:56] tony's one happy day you know he's just fucking walking around

[01:12:59] st jeffro tall yeah

[01:13:03] you're fucking topper and just tried to suck off and your daughter is a

[01:13:06] boyfriend yeah i love i just loved it those two episodes

[01:13:09] where he goes out of town and tries to live a normal life jolly cakes and he

[01:13:12] has to just go home to be murdered because

[01:13:15] the idea of working on it 15 minutes is unbearable i know

[01:13:21] because he had that manual labor job yeah it's a fucking Italian morality play

[01:13:25] yeah that's like best is that technically that they don't really work that hard

[01:13:30] they just hang out in a pork store with their friends yeah it doesn't do anything

[01:13:35] they literally do nothing they kill like every couple weeks and then they

[01:13:39] shake people like us yeah yeah exactly i know man i'm a

[01:13:43] fucking hard worker oh yeah let's get back going

[01:13:46] let's get back to the link i've reviewed i review electronics for a living

[01:13:50] us i'll review propane and propane accessories

[01:13:55] oh fuck effective management with web UI and utility

[01:14:00] this man i'm still not over that guy doxing people just

[01:14:03] because he didn't get the fucking the x yeah

[01:14:06] i've my favorite thing that's really a brand it's a homosexual what's this

[01:14:09] story with the female comic to rape somebody

[01:14:13] oh yeah we they had her on archer i wasn't there but

[01:14:16] can you sum that up for the fans yeah i i guess

[01:14:19] but i know the fans of rape

[01:14:21] is yeah i have a lot of crossover with them so yes

[01:14:26] apparently some broad in the some female comic got accused

[01:14:31] from another like anonymous source that uh she digitally raped the broad

[01:14:36] oh damn uh and they were they were they were

[01:14:39] fingers with their fingers oh with their fingers not only

[01:14:41] event like i was figuring that out for like you know

[01:14:44] like i am the virus you know i'm putting sunglasses on i think there might have

[01:14:48] been a richard writing a scooter into the other girl's

[01:14:51] business there might have been a rape kit with like an acrylic nail in it

[01:14:55] oh yeah that is what i heard too that they found it

[01:14:56] she left an acrylic nail and now that's good evidence she didn't do is that is

[01:15:00] great evidence and her and her and her defense is that she doesn't wear

[01:15:03] acrylic nails oh my god i can't wait for that

[01:15:06] svu episode where they're like uh you know

[01:15:10] alivia it's like the cold open and as if female comic then it's been raped and

[01:15:14] alivia burst into the ucb or whatever with fin and they're like

[01:15:18] all right which one of these males is the one that raped her

[01:15:21] and then the ucb instructor was it wasn't a male it was

[01:15:26] a woman and then the dramatic music plays

[01:15:29] and then at some point fin goes a woman may get out of here

[01:15:34] and then that's how the episode goes that would be good that's great so then she

[01:15:37] made a uh 15 minute youtube video oh f***

[01:15:41] defending herself but it was like right yeah yeah i heard about ways too early

[01:15:45] and within the video she says i did not go uh she didn't go to a lawyer

[01:15:50] she went to her psychic oh no very nice and it's the

[01:15:54] maybe the funniest video i've ever watched f*** and uh we're watching it on our

[01:15:59] show wait so it's the story is is she just stuck her

[01:16:02] hand in another female comics pussy i supposedly there was

[01:16:07] i've heard versions of it with drugs and heard versions of it with alcohol

[01:16:11] it just sounds like yeah i mean she if you don't if you're not trying to get

[01:16:14] fingered i didn't say just i said well what's the story that she

[01:16:18] i believe the story is they went home oh okay and i think the girl was

[01:16:22] f***ed up i see i see i could be wrong but from what i know is they went home

[01:16:27] the chick was super f***ed up but she fingered her

[01:16:30] yeah it's f***ed up uh i'm anti that but in the video we watched

[01:16:34] where she's like explaining herself it got boring as s***

[01:16:37] there was 15 minutes along so we skipped to like the 12 minute mark that's

[01:16:40] because nobody cares about these things anymore

[01:16:42] there we already had a couple of big ones you got to have a better story than

[01:16:46] that but at the 12 minute mark right where we clicked the skip ahead in the

[01:16:49] video the girl got me give me some excitement

[01:16:53] where she had gotten to in her speech she goes

[01:16:55] well i mean Casey Anthony's life got better

[01:17:00] and it's the funniest non-sequitur i have ever heard she didn't have the baby

[01:17:03] anymore she's free to be a party girl yeah she's going to drink it's her

[01:17:06] wait was her stance in Casey Anthony was innocent i don't know

[01:17:12] while i was in the beginning of the video she said she would bring

[01:17:15] Lewis and Dave the whole Casey Anthony's story is that she got away with it

[01:17:19] because she's a hobble yeah yeah yeah but yeah it was it's it seems uh pretty

[01:17:27] it's she's batching crazy i i'm waiting for i want Bill Cosby to accuse Nancy

[01:17:31] Grace of raping him

[01:17:34] Cosby's getting those f***ing seminars going dude

[01:17:37] no no he canceled it he did yeah someone told him it was in bad taste to

[01:17:42] lecture people on how not to rape for somebody who is raped that upwards

[01:17:47] of 40 women a him coming out of the corner and

[01:17:49] yelling at black power so

[01:17:53] unbelievable so much and the hey hey hey is unbelievable yeah yeah

[01:17:57] hey hey Jesus Christ i like fat Albert as a child thank you very much

[01:18:03] show on in like the 70s yeah they would replay it

[01:18:06] would they yeah dude i i i think that you deliberately

[01:18:10] sought out fat media to enjoy that's not untrue actually that's i

[01:18:16] f***ing the show about a fat guy mom can we go to the library

[01:18:19] representation matters mom can we go to the library of

[01:18:22] the archives of of this fat guy show from 30 years ago

[01:18:27] i love i was telling you about my my friend my friend that i used to work

[01:18:30] with uh the the four inch fifty pound bear yes yes oh yes oh oh

[01:18:35] oh fuck that's so funny i worked i worked with him at the telemarketing

[01:18:37] place and he used to cook he breaks and just eat cookies on toilet

[01:18:41] so he's uh he's away at some bear convention right now he's a close

[01:18:45] oh he's a gay dude oh yeah and he oh nice but he like collects like fat

[01:18:48] celebrities uh-huh like his last like big story he was like you

[01:18:53] wouldn't believe who i hooked up with i'm like go he's like

[01:18:55] remember on lui the guy he was stuck on the plane with

[01:18:59] remember on lui he got stuck next to like the morbidly obese oh yeah

[01:19:03] yeah i was not even a famous guy yeah

[01:19:07] dude i thought first thing you were about to tell me bobby fuck that guy

[01:19:11] would have been so awesome but so he just like i went to his house

[01:19:15] and his DVDs are like in order of fat people oh hell yeah so it's like

[01:19:20] john goodman movies john candy movies and then up at the top was heavyweights

[01:19:25] yes and i was like was that like your teenage bank and he's like

[01:19:29] a lot of them grew up to be hot

[01:19:33] damn so this guy's fat as shit and he wants to fuck fat guys

[01:19:36] oh dude i've seen like pictures of his like bare weekends like a little

[01:19:39] couple other like morbidly obese couples oh my god

[01:19:43] like show me like pictures of them fucking it looks like when you put

[01:19:46] stuffed animals together in like sexual positions

[01:19:49] like it doesn't appear to be sex imagine what that room smells like

[01:19:53] that must be yeah it's like 1500 pounds fauciin

[01:19:57] i was with him uh because i work with him now at my

[01:20:00] because we're close friends forever from a movie company and uh he uh he was on

[01:20:05] the phone trying to get laid the other night imagine it looking like uh you

[01:20:08] were working a pizza shop i haven't watched it yeah yeah

[01:20:11] a piece of it somebody didn't slap out right go to the oven it starts bubbling

[01:20:15] up yeah he's the big dough bubbles and he was on the phone rolling

[01:20:19] trying to get laid and he's like well let me come over like you know we'll just

[01:20:22] have the night together and he goes well and the guy's like i don't know maybe

[01:20:25] you know do you want to sleep over like what's the deal

[01:20:28] and he's like well yeah do you have a second attachment for your CPAP

[01:20:33] i just got i just got the best notification on my phone from the regal app

[01:20:37] the regal movies app today only purchased tickets to see valerian

[01:20:42] city of a thousand planets and receive a free fidget spinner

[01:20:45] hahaha thank you i will be doing that actually

[01:20:50] i'm going to see that movie looks like shit damn that's so fucking funny dude

[01:20:53] dude you imagine being a level of fat where you have like you know how like i

[01:20:57] have like the the drawer of like sex toys you just have CPAPs

[01:21:01] yeah hey you can sleep over and your tongue won't kill you in your sleep

[01:21:07] fuck man that fucking rules and you said the reason he had he was taking cookie

[01:21:11] breaks was because he was a telemarker and he was eating cookies on the phone

[01:21:15] yeah the boss like you can't eat on the phone

[01:21:19] but he just like thought he'd be slick and he's in his pocket

[01:21:23] walking back you're talking to someone in chewing that's incredible that's your

[01:21:28] job yeah the people who are good call centers are fucking great

[01:21:32] there was a big fat guy that i would draw pictures of an ms paint these

[01:21:35] like really mean pictures up and i would send them around the people and one

[01:21:38] day like the VP of the company was just standing behind me as i was drawing

[01:21:43] him i'm like okay drawing you're a good jar and the

[01:21:46] fucking uh the VP just behind me he's like man that looks great

[01:21:50] and i look around i'm like oh uh thanks he didn't like realize i was

[01:21:55] humiliating and i'm truly mocking him opening up the company to a huge lawsuit

[01:22:01] my

[01:22:03] contacted a single lawyer and said that somebody's going around the company

[01:22:06] drawing pictures of me with food and steam and all of these he's got an apple in

[01:22:11] his mouth he's going to always play down big my telemarking job was so shitty

[01:22:16] we didn't have computers we worked off a pen and paper

[01:22:21] and they would give us stacks of a hundred leads uh is this is uh claire

[01:22:25] danios uh this is mocha sound at the call center

[01:22:29] that's incredible and but we would sell digital subscriptions

[01:22:32] off of pen and paper that's like lain gerry glenn ross yeah take credit card

[01:22:36] numbers and just shut them all right them down and like give them in

[01:22:41] damn dude and then somebody quit and broke into one of the managers quit

[01:22:45] and robbed the office of all the credit card numbers

[01:22:48] they never said well i'm pretty sure they just came in and took a giant stack

[01:22:52] credit card numbers damn dude what they remember was our boss was like this

[01:22:55] like crouch the old jewish lady and uh there was so we were on like 30th

[01:23:00] street in manhattan and across the street there was a guy

[01:23:03] naked cleaning his apartment like with all the windows open with a giant dick

[01:23:09] and her and all the managers were standing at the window

[01:23:12] and she called the police and she's like this is lewd

[01:23:17] we can't have this and they're like what is he doing she's like he's in his

[01:23:20] apartment naked and they're like why are you looking into his apartment

[01:23:24] damn imagine having a dick so big you couldn't be naked in your apartment

[01:23:28] without getting the cops called on you is what i would say if that wasn't the

[01:23:32] case for me already uh the reason i haven't been

[01:23:35] speaking is because i've been in jail for that very reason

[01:23:39] two and a half minutes

[01:23:42] uh fuck dude luckily i got bailed out by the big dick union my representative

[01:23:50] uh i love belonging to the big dick union all right well we should probably

[01:23:54] wrap this one up yeah we got some nice dick stuff there at the end we snuck

[01:23:58] it in yeah shout out to zach thanks for coming thank you so much dude great

[01:24:02] time thank you guys um yeah check out the uh real ass dude podcast

[01:24:07] starring zachamiko and some other guy so sorry this one of dave smith's friends

[01:24:11] the real ass guy put my movie before we oh of course of course all right i got a

[01:24:14] movie coming out called returns new come high

[01:24:16] volume two it's a trauma movie if you guys like bad 80s horror

[01:24:20] uh it is going to be debuting july the 15th

[01:24:24] at the museum of moving image oh we're gonna show the original movie from the

[01:24:28] 80s and volume one and volume two it's gonna be a whole day event

[01:24:32] uh july the 15th a museum of moving image please come uh hang out it would

[01:24:35] mean a lot to me thank you