Cum Town | Premium | 07/30/2017
[00:00:00] What were you doing all day? Why were you here late?
[00:00:06] You were just welcome. Yeah. Yeah. Oh shit.
[00:00:10] For his live? His customer service story.
[00:00:17] Spent all day of customer service. AT&T shouts out to my girl. She hooked it up.
[00:00:22] But most importantly, on the phone with Vitamix. And I want to say a sincere thank you to the Vitamix Corporation.
[00:00:28] They completely replaced a faulty blender top that I had.
[00:00:34] But he accidentally ate the top of his blender.
[00:00:37] It just looks so delicious. I didn't say in the instructions he was supposed to.
[00:00:39] I thought it was dark chocolate. It was a dark chocolate cap.
[00:00:43] Um, actually what happened is I moved the shit.
[00:00:46] You know I had to take my blender with me to New Orleans boys?
[00:00:49] You know what? You know what? She knows his Christ.
[00:00:52] What? I'm trying to stay fucking healthy on the road my bitch.
[00:00:57] What's the big deal? Okay? It can't all be po' boys, Adam.
[00:01:01] Can you imagine the four TSA agents that are like drinking with their friends this week?
[00:01:07] They're like, I swear to God! The fact I brought a fucking blender with it.
[00:01:11] They don't know what I look like. Shut up. You're lying.
[00:01:14] Wait, you checked it. Stop being mean. You didn't carry it on.
[00:01:17] I would have loved to carry it on, but I figured they would not allow me to.
[00:01:20] Did you follow the TSA on Instagram? No.
[00:01:23] They always post, it's a hilarious account, but they always post funny stuff that they take
[00:01:29] from people out of people's carry-on luggage.
[00:01:32] And people, you know, they put the funniest shit in their bags.
[00:01:36] Yeah, I saw them with a bunch of throwing stars.
[00:01:39] Throwing stars all the time. They do that and then they profile a good TSA dog every couple of days.
[00:01:47] This is Rusty from Milwaukee International.
[00:01:50] It's crazy that they have someone who's so good at social media because they're fucking horrible.
[00:01:54] Yeah, it's actually the most functional part of the entire operation.
[00:02:00] They're meme guys. How about the get TSA pre-fucking approved, bro?
[00:02:04] Is that bad? It feels like I'm giving the government information.
[00:02:07] I've thought about doing that. After that FBI thing happened, I was real worried about like...
[00:02:13] Fucking... Fucking... Fylist shit. Yeah, that kind of shit.
[00:02:15] And then the next time I went to the airport, they waved me through.
[00:02:22] But, I mean, and I don't have, because like sometimes you can get pre-approved for free if you're like harassed by the government.
[00:02:29] You can like just apply for, you know, don't fuck with me anymore.
[00:02:37] I'm trying to get all the skin stuck in my teeth.
[00:02:40] People fucking hate the airport and I don't get it.
[00:02:43] I think the airport's cool as shit. I love the airport.
[00:02:51] I fly like probably five times. I mean, I can only see my parents if I fly, you know, and I see them at least three times a year.
[00:03:02] But no, but also, no, probably more than that.
[00:03:05] I've already flown probably 13 times this year.
[00:03:14] My friend, he's like, he recently got married.
[00:03:32] Here to LA, you go here Orlando, nine and a half hour layover.
[00:03:39] This motherfucker really did that shit.
[00:03:46] You didn't even go to Universal Studios or anything?
[00:03:53] I was like, I could probably go to Disneyland right now if I went to...
[00:03:57] And then it was already like an hour and a half in.
[00:04:02] I'm like, okay, I totally had enough time.
[00:04:05] And it's like, I still technically have enough time now.
[00:04:15] Could have at least gone to the Blue Sea.
[00:04:17] Could have at least gone to Buffalo Wildlands.
[00:04:20] Yeah, they always have that like, that like street walk area in like Disneyland and city walk.
[00:04:27] And they're like, try to make it the most rockin' place for Malenas to hang out with.
[00:04:32] It's always like a PS Brothers restaurant.
[00:04:40] You have to be the biggest fucking loser to be a 28 year old that's like, let's go hang
[00:04:51] Shout out to the mentally disabled man that listens to this show that it adores it.
[00:04:58] I don't know why Adam would call you a loser.
[00:05:09] No, but my friend, he like accidentally texts his mother-in-law like she's like about to
[00:05:15] get on the plane and he said have fun and his like whole in-laws were mad at him for texting
[00:05:21] have fun because they're like, what about airports and flights is fun.
[00:05:25] They're like people that hate airlines that much.
[00:05:28] There are some people that hate traveling.
[00:05:32] I know people who have to get fucking peeled up just to fucking take a bus ride, dude.
[00:05:35] Honestly, I fucking despise flying because and it's not the airport.
[00:05:39] I know how to get through TSA pretty quickly and I can get to my gate.
[00:05:42] The problem is that like being on a plane is fucking disgusting.
[00:05:50] I mean, I've taken three or four red eyes this year and I'm taking one back next week.
[00:06:00] I've been jet lagged for like six months.
[00:06:01] People don't understand how hard I work.
[00:06:10] It's because of the jet lag for four months ago.
[00:06:22] I don't have health insurance so I can't get a fix.
[00:06:24] We've become what we hate, which is like we've attained a certain level of success in comedy
[00:06:39] When a D level headliner would march in to chuckle fox and say I need more napkins.
[00:06:45] Why aren't there enough napkins in the green room?
[00:06:59] There was all these shitty comics, headshots on the wall at Yzakers.
[00:07:03] There was one that was a guy with just drumsticks.
[00:07:08] And the coach who we've talked about before.
[00:07:10] He was wearing a helmet for some reason.
[00:07:15] Has his own headshot on a lot of comics.
[00:07:18] Tammy's something who was a little person.
[00:07:22] And her headshot was her next to a man's pair of legs so you could go to the census
[00:07:32] And then you could go to the midget's face and be like, is that a normal size person?
[00:07:36] That looks like a normal, probably a tall man.
[00:07:39] We need something to put in perspective.
[00:07:56] Speaking of midget or little person media, have you seen little people of Atlanta?
[00:08:03] It's just exact, it's like every black midget's, there's some of them are black.
[00:08:13] Ian Sammons brother who would come to a Japanese sometimes?
[00:08:17] He has a brother that's like a Jamaican midget.
[00:08:29] I mean, he would be like, this is my brother.
[00:08:30] It could just be some guy he met at CVS.
[00:08:35] What would you make him with dredges related?
[00:08:47] Remember the had kid that was like normal size?
[00:08:48] One was normal and the other one who was the cool one was the cool one.
[00:08:56] See, I caught up after that that they were like, you know what?
[00:08:59] I dropped a pretense of like, this is a regular show.
[00:09:03] We're just going to do the shitty drama shows but with midgets.
[00:09:06] And that's with the black little people.
[00:09:10] No, it's like the real housewives but just with little people.
[00:09:17] Oh, they're all married to successful NFL players.
[00:09:19] They're like, I didn't come here to make friends nor did I come here to ride on the roller.
[00:09:27] Two of them look, there's these two twins in Little People of Atlanta and they just look
[00:09:34] Because they're like, wow, these look like babies but they have titties.
[00:09:40] But legally, I guess you could have sex with them.
[00:09:45] No, it was a neurogenium's episode where there was like, man, who date women who look way
[00:09:51] too young and it's like, you know, women with like growth deficiencies.
[00:09:55] So it was like, you know, a woman that's like, I'm 37 years old but she like looks eight.
[00:10:04] I mean, I guess that's a positive way of dealing with that.
[00:10:14] Why aren't there fucking pedophile dating sites like this?
[00:10:19] No, no, not with children, with people with fucked up hormones or whatever.
[00:10:35] Okay, Cupid, but okay stands for Oshkosh.
[00:10:43] I mean, I, you know, genuinely speaking, that is like probably the worst hand to be dealt
[00:10:54] It's to be someone that wants to fuck kids.
[00:10:57] It's worse than being fucked by, as a child, by someone who wants to fuck kids.
[00:11:04] What I mean, women who can't grow to a normal size.
[00:11:08] Yeah, no, I mean, that's what I'm saying.
[00:11:12] No, I don't think you're trying to figure this out.
[00:11:15] Is either Dr. Oz or Dr. Drew or maybe it was Dr. Phil.
[00:11:18] It was one of the doctors who aren't really doctors.
[00:11:21] Dr. Phil is probably the best doctor in all of America.
[00:11:26] And that women who were like molested as children, that's why whatever age a woman was molested
[00:11:39] Because every time a girl with it, like a squeaky voice would call up on love line, they'd be
[00:11:44] Just like Adam Crowler would cut her off.
[00:11:53] When Dr. Drew is like, like an extra piece of shit, like, like, I used to think he was
[00:12:00] Yeah, I haven't, I haven't, that's what people say and I totally believe it, but it's hard
[00:12:05] I would listen to love line like in sixth grade and they just, those guys meant a lot
[00:12:11] He had that celebrity rehab show, which had close personal friend on it.
[00:12:18] My close personal friend, whoever played Kaneki in Greece was also it.
[00:12:36] He's in the new, he's in the new Twin Peaks.
[00:12:39] I'm very happy to see his next old personal friend working again.
[00:12:45] We kindle my friendship with Tom Sizemore.
[00:13:05] He's really good at being a pretend machine gun guy.
[00:13:13] There'd be too many ripples in your fat.
[00:13:20] You get a jack guy shooting a machine gun who gives a fuck.
[00:13:23] You get a fat guy, I'm fucking rippling.
[00:13:25] You're like, that's a powerful fucking gun.
[00:13:27] That's one of these shots in slow motion.
[00:13:30] Yeah, that's why you gotta be real fat.
[00:13:32] That two machine gun thing is a complete fake.
[00:13:35] You can't fire two machine guns in both hands.
[00:13:49] Oh, when gun nerds get mad about that shit, they're like, first of all, it's a clip.
[00:13:54] They're like the gun kneeled across Tyson's.
[00:13:57] They only have you got to put you got it.
[00:13:59] First of all, it's a double barrel full metal jacket.
[00:14:03] You got to learn the words before you criticize my stupid hobbitch.
[00:14:08] It's like exactly the same as like, that is not what the holodeck does.
[00:14:14] First of all, Captain Picard would never do that.
[00:14:19] It's like you took the cool, look guns are gay, but they're cool because they kill, right?
[00:14:27] They should be legal is because they kill people.
[00:14:31] You should make them illegal because nerds like them.
[00:14:35] It's fun to shoot stuff, you know, like little cans and stuff.
[00:14:37] It would be cool if there were guns that like just didn't kill people.
[00:14:47] I ran in New York Times article a couple of months ago about the gun range in Manhattan.
[00:14:54] And it's like the headline was like last bastion of conservative politics in like New York
[00:14:58] City and the dudes like have all these 911 pro like posters and shit.
[00:15:03] They're like, this is our fucking safe.
[00:15:09] And just fire off some fucking kiss each other.
[00:15:15] And then and that'll be a social experiment.
[00:15:17] Be like, yeah, that would be a social experiment.
[00:15:22] Oh, like can I want to, you know, yeah, my second amendment rights and see what they
[00:15:29] Probably would have no problem with it.
[00:15:30] Well, Nick, that's what we're going to find out.
[00:15:35] So that's the play actually how many of those social experiment videos actually just involve
[00:15:44] They're all Saudi Arabian kids like millionaire Saudi Arabian kids living in America.
[00:15:51] That's like I'm going to count down an error of it.
[00:15:53] Who he's like, you go to his account and he had like nine other videos where I'm going
[00:15:56] to level a gun at a synagogue and see who gets mad at him.
[00:16:00] He did one where he was like, I'm going to beat a woman.
[00:16:04] Look, I'm going to like punch my girlfriend with her not wearing a hijab and then I'm
[00:16:08] going to punch her with her wearing a hijab.
[00:16:10] And then like people didn't stop for the hijab lady but stopped for like the hot lady without
[00:16:16] Well, you know, that could be a man in there.
[00:16:23] Ghost is defending himself from an ninja.
[00:16:25] I applaud that man for standing up to that ninja.
[00:16:31] One of the steel is magic beans or whatever they're after protecting his rights.
[00:16:37] Yeah, he's got a dragon talisman from Jackie Chan Adventures.
[00:16:42] You guys remember Jackie Chan Adventures?
[00:16:47] Nice Sunday morning, uh, cartoon Saturday.
[00:16:56] Since Italian forgot it messes up the days.
[00:16:59] They got a word for every dumb thing you can do.
[00:17:03] This guy is fucking Shabu Shabu Shabu Blazio over here.
[00:17:07] So the guy wipes front back, back to front.
[00:17:16] Yeah, you get you get shit on your balls.
[00:17:18] Yeah, but you go back to front and get your balls all shitty.
[00:17:23] How long till you think before he buys you the squatty potty or one of those bolt on
[00:17:30] I'd love to hate on that idea, but you just said it and I want that combo.
[00:17:38] Call me your old fashioned, but I think I know how to shit at this point in my life,
[00:17:47] How many times have you been eating a pussy and you smell a little poop on the butt or
[00:17:59] So girl with a rectovaginal fistula, which we mentioned before.
[00:18:05] Yeah, that's actually what Adam's asshole is.
[00:18:08] Well, it's not what it becomes one big asshole.
[00:18:10] It's when there's a secret passage from the ass to the pussy.
[00:18:17] Is it like you have to jump at the first green tunnel?
[00:18:20] Well, basically what's cool about that is you can stick your dick into the pussy and
[00:18:25] then have it loop back and come out the asshole and then you just play the Benny Hill theme.
[00:18:32] Yeah, that would be so funny if that really happened.
[00:18:37] Yeah, I could be sacked out of her mouth.
[00:19:01] I was going to say, but I didn't say it.
[00:19:03] Well, bitch, I knew what you were going to say.
[00:19:07] I hope someone looks it up and finds out that it is gophers.
[00:19:14] Gophers, they're probably the same thing.
[00:19:29] But Prairie home companion is the worst shit of all time.
[00:19:37] How about like a Dundalk version of garrison killer talking?
[00:19:41] And then they went into the restaurant and they both got raped the end.
[00:19:46] Yeah, I don't know enough about Prairie home companion.
[00:19:49] It's like all Midwestern's like fucking jokes.
[00:19:52] They're funny if you're like from the Midwestern.
[00:19:56] We do get breakfast or whatever the fuck happens in the Midwest.
[00:20:03] Well, the setting of all of it is stupid bullshit Midwestern town.
[00:20:11] I'm all in direct to that movie, the Prairie home companion movie.
[00:20:14] It's funny because like, you know, New Yorkers and people from Texas get like a rap for like
[00:20:20] other obsessed with where they're from or whatever.
[00:20:23] Subbragging about Midwestern's are like that.
[00:20:27] Everything they do or say relates to, well, you know, I'm Midwestern.
[00:20:35] Fucking not being able to shut the fuck up about how this relates to some sort of Midwestern
[00:20:41] Yeah, people from Chicago say they're Midwestern.
[00:20:44] It's like, no, you live in like a major metropolitan.
[00:20:47] And if you were like talking about Chicago, that's fine because it's a big city with like
[00:20:53] I don't give a shit about what like van manufacturing town you're from in the middle of
[00:21:07] And it's even worse when you because they'll move here or wherever.
[00:21:12] And then it's like they want both sides.
[00:21:14] They're like, you know, it's like that folksy bullshit plus I'm from a big city or whatever
[00:21:18] the fuck I'm like us big city fucking brawlers.
[00:21:24] You know, I've never been from such a shitty place.
[00:21:37] Well, man lives in the foot in some in those zeros and ones.
[00:21:49] Hey, there's there's two kinds of there.
[00:21:53] How great would it be if like when you invent a computer and people they invented computer
[00:21:56] computers like instead of ones and zeros, they call it male and female.
[00:22:00] And then now that was just until now they still called it that and then we had to get
[00:22:04] rid of computers because it was racist.
[00:22:10] And that's the science fiction movie I'm working on.
[00:22:18] Talk about a fucking I'm really struggling to come up with words.
[00:22:26] And it's like a fucked up future dystopian.
[00:22:31] I'm back on the ad or I die today for the first time in a while.
[00:22:35] You know, it doesn't make you smarter at all.
[00:22:45] I need some fucking I need I need some fucking meat.
[00:23:02] So I fucking I shout out to the Vitamix Corporation.
[00:23:10] So even if you get the refurbished by the man.
[00:23:11] So wait, you called them up and you said.
[00:23:18] And they said, okay, sir, we get this call a lot.
[00:23:29] I put too much ice cream in my blender and it turned the milkshake hot.
[00:23:36] It was too long and I got mad and I threw it.
[00:23:38] You guys please give me another one because I haven't had a milkshake in a long time.
[00:23:47] And then I also I was hitting up my Greek relatives trying to plan the trip out and
[00:23:51] I forgot that my nickname for all my Greek relatives is little fatty.
[00:23:57] It's a word that translates to little fatty.
[00:23:59] Wait, when you're oh your relatives in Greece.
[00:24:11] That'd be a cute sound cloud rapper named little fatty.
[00:24:24] Minor James Bond, Jason Bourne, Adrian Soundland.
[00:24:40] Mm, which people they think he's gay, but you forget that he is a full size train.
[00:24:51] Yeah, go put pull your ass into the fucking.
[00:24:55] Pull your ass onto the tracks and see what happens.
[00:24:58] At 15 miles an hour, he could end your life.
[00:25:02] He's wearing one of those like dildo helmets.
[00:25:06] Have you ever seen the Thomas tank engine episode where he finally loses it because everyone
[00:25:10] keeps going to the autistic and he fucking drives into the elementary school?
[00:25:15] I thought it all took place at a train station.
[00:25:17] It takes place on a fantasy island called.
[00:25:24] No, it's an island that has like a weird, it has a weird name.
[00:25:32] We got a get needs spiff right near to beach.
[00:25:40] They were they had that giant frog that like you still like hang out with that family.
[00:25:46] This is Adam's favorite show he watches.
[00:25:47] I thought that I always thought Adam only watches shows for babies.
[00:25:51] No, apparently by the way, that was not when we were children.
[00:25:54] Yeah, Golo Golo Island was like when we were in high school.
[00:26:07] I'm like not even if you're a bad watch.
[00:26:16] This new line of info has gone too far.
[00:26:19] I've never stood up for my watch in the baby.
[00:26:29] That shit was on definitely in the 90s.
[00:26:53] I had a white socks shirt and I wasn't like a white socks fan.
[00:26:57] I just had this shirt but like the S overlapped the lowercase E. And so it looked like sex
[00:27:02] and some girl told on me wearing the shirt.
[00:27:15] Yeah, my grandma got me this T shirt when she was on vacation in Prague that said the
[00:27:21] And this kid in my middle school said, what's your shirt say?
[00:27:31] I just invite him on the show to replace you so you can go home and watch fucking.
[00:27:49] These two chola girls who were seniors in my high school when I was a freshman and they
[00:27:55] They did that like Dave Chappelle mad real world shit where they're like, why are you
[00:28:02] And I was like, I'm not looking at anything.
[00:28:03] You're like, I'm probably like like five foot two at that point.
[00:28:10] I remember you remember the wet hair wearing your velcro shoes and your fucking Barney
[00:28:22] I had cool shit on, but no, you remember when girls are 17 years old?
[00:28:27] Girls will put too much gel in their hair.
[00:28:36] So like these girls like they're like, I'm gonna kick your ass.
[00:28:41] And I never, I avoided them for the rest of the year.
[00:28:45] But they, were you mad because their gel got on your muppet baby socks?
[00:28:51] I don't, I don't believe in muppet babies.
[00:28:54] I think I wish I knew more about baby television that I never watched so I could dis you by
[00:29:01] But unfortunately, I have no knowledge of any such shows.
[00:29:04] First of all, muppet babies did rock though.
[00:29:19] I don't think it's canonical because they don't, they, I don't think they grew up together.
[00:29:21] I are in the actual shit, but in muppet babies, they all lifted a nursery.
[00:29:24] Didn't they just fire the voice of Kermit?
[00:29:30] No, he was like, send fucked up emails to everybody.
[00:29:36] Wait, isn't Frank Oz the voice of Kermit?
[00:29:44] And then Jim Henson died and like fucking, I don't know, 19.
[00:29:50] Yeah, he died in like 1991 or something.
[00:29:53] And then it went to some other guy and then the other guy became a diva or whatever.
[00:29:57] So he was like, just sending fucked up emails to people after things.
[00:30:02] He says like, no, I was just offering constructive criticism.
[00:30:06] I remember my friend's mom was like, yeah, let me tell you boy's a story about bullying.
[00:30:12] She's like, there's a little boy in class and he used to wear a puppet on his hand.
[00:30:16] And everyone in the school would call him a fucking loser.
[00:30:19] And then he grew up and you know who he became Frank Oz, AKA Yoda, AKA the co-creator of
[00:30:28] Then me and my friend were like, yeah, he sounded like a massive loser.
[00:30:34] Frank Oz was Yoda and the guy from the muppets.
[00:30:36] For me, nayser, you said this fucking, I don't even know if he like did it more than
[00:30:41] So he's like joke about like, you know, it's like, it's so good that it's finally now the
[00:30:47] And they tell you not to make fun of the nerds when they when they're growing up.
[00:30:53] The older fatter versions of your girlfriends are ours.
[00:31:04] What was up with Gonzo just having a dick for a nose and wanting to fuck chickens?
[00:31:12] But why does he want to fuck chickens, dude?
[00:31:18] I don't think he ever said I want to fuck these chickens.
[00:31:20] It was very, it was very obvious that he was trying to fuck chickens, which is a strange
[00:31:25] Well, it's weird that Gonzo wasn't necessarily any type of animal, you know, the rest of
[00:31:38] I'm trying to get that poster from my room.
[00:31:43] You've finally twisted your roommate's arm.
[00:31:49] You're getting a fear and loathing poster for your bedroom.
[00:31:55] We kind of get- I'm getting- I'm getting fear and loathing.
[00:31:59] Dude, is Lewis learning how to skateboard?
[00:32:01] Yeah, what's the thing with the skateboard?
[00:32:03] No, he's like learning how to skateboard.
[00:32:07] Which is- I want Lewis to die that way.
[00:32:10] I really want him to die on fucking third out of the-
[00:32:15] Periscoping on a fucking mini skateboard.
[00:32:17] Yeah, why does he always have a gay obsession every other way?
[00:32:25] Now we're at Penny, but now I think it's a full size.
[00:32:28] He's worked way up from Penny to Nickel to full size board.
[00:32:30] Well, it's because his childhood was so terrible.
[00:32:34] Yep, but it's strange to skateboard at this.
[00:32:52] I wonder which friend it is about ours.
[00:32:56] It was what we talked about on the last one.
[00:33:12] He's correcting me on how much money Mickey had.
[00:33:16] Oh, I didn't- I thought you were talking about Tom Myers.
[00:33:19] Um, no, Tom, Tom, I would just mention.
[00:33:23] Yo, how about that strip club video, dude?
[00:33:31] Yeah, I went down a deep, Tom YouTube rabbit hole.
[00:33:36] At this strip club in sapphire, in Vegas called Sapphire's, which my friends dad used to be
[00:33:44] That's the only way they'd juice into the shit.
[00:33:45] She was like really annoying, actually.
[00:33:47] I'd be like, your dad is the accountant for horse.
[00:33:50] One time in history class, I fucking hated this place.
[00:33:58] And he said, I thought he was making good money.
[00:34:08] One time she got mad at me in history class.
[00:34:13] So anyway, back to the TV I'm upgrading to.
[00:34:16] When I get rid of this one, this piece of shit.
[00:34:20] This girl got mad at me because I was like, Stalin's an asshole.
[00:34:29] Anyway, she went to Wellesley and she's like a fucking lawyer now.
[00:34:33] Anyway, but same college as Mrs. Shrillery Clinton, by the way.
[00:34:41] Anyway, so yeah, there's a video of Tom performing at Sapphire's.
[00:34:50] Adam's going to derail the show by trying to tell you what makes it.
[00:35:10] Wanting to buy the Apple watch is like the test of like whether or not somebody else
[00:35:16] If you fucking ever have the impulse to buy the Apple watch, you should output all your
[00:35:31] I went into the Apple store today and I was looking at it again and the fucking, you know,
[00:35:50] If you want the original Apple watch, which is a piece of shit.
[00:35:53] Which basically like a beta testing device.
[00:35:57] The fucking, the base level series two watch is 399.
[00:36:07] If you get the man's watch cost more and it's fucking nice.
[00:36:14] That one's like obviously it costs 77 cents on the dollar.
[00:36:19] And then if you want the like not the rubber, you know, fucking band on it.
[00:36:28] Oh yeah, you can get like designer bands.
[00:36:31] The middle and knees band, the middle and knees band, which is just like the base not shitty
[00:36:38] So you're talking about if you want, if you want to watch that looks okay, the Apple
[00:36:44] To just not when you get it to not reaching your pocket.
[00:36:48] Touch your wrist and send it to your pocket.
[00:36:52] When the series one came out, which is a garbage piece of technology, you know, it doesn't
[00:36:59] So I mean, these things are marketed as like fitness devices.
[00:37:03] If with that because it doesn't have GPS in the watch, if you go for a fucking run, you
[00:37:09] And then you have the phone and the watch.
[00:37:12] You take the fucking watch off and bring the phone.
[00:37:16] So they had those because the Apple watch edition is like the designer version of it.
[00:37:22] And the Apple watch edition for the series two costs $1,250.
[00:37:29] Well, they're thinking was like, you know, if you bought a Rolex, that's $30,000.
[00:37:38] You're only going to buy one Rolex your entire fucking life.
[00:37:43] Now you can connect it to your TV or whatever.
[00:37:57] I mean, I got a Velcro watch because he doesn't know how to open a wall.
[00:38:01] What's up, I got this, he's not a grown up.
[00:38:06] I just weird remain DC and I got his wall.
[00:38:12] You're going to be ordered to most wallets.
[00:38:18] Dude, Cockfield had a, last time I saw Cockfield, he still has like a Velcro like quick silver
[00:38:32] That's when our special surprise arrives in the mail.
[00:38:40] I've been very busy getting called fat by my Greek relatives.
[00:38:49] So the Apple watch one, they had an Apple watch edition.
[00:38:51] That's what they call their like fancy watch.
[00:38:54] And it was what they called it the Apple watch edition.
[00:38:56] It's called Apple watch, the Apple watch and then there's the Apple watch Nike sport
[00:39:01] There's the Apple watch Hermes, which is like a step up in between the regular Apple watches
[00:39:11] And then there's the fucking Apple watch edition, which is the ceramic one.
[00:39:18] But the first Apple watch, the series one, the edition version of that, which they discontinued,
[00:39:24] was made out of gold and it costs 10,000.
[00:39:31] It's a discontinued piece of electronics.
[00:39:36] So they totally, they completely fucked that up.
[00:39:51] Some of them were, I think it went all the way up to $17,000 for Jesus Christ.
[00:39:56] You imagine like wasting the money on that.
[00:40:00] And you can never sell it again because it's fucking because it's obsolete technology.
[00:40:06] That's where it really maintains its value.
[00:40:11] It's also a piece of like, you could either leather or plastic.
[00:40:31] Adam's on a full-sized desktop PC right now playing club Penguin.
[00:40:35] This is baby friends from the internet.
[00:40:36] How many times I gotta tell you I don't play it.
[00:40:38] It's the only thing that's not blocked by Netnay, which is Baronski on his computer.
[00:40:43] Hey, Tim, we'll pay for your phone bill, but you have to have Nitt Nanny.
[00:40:46] Have you seen that movie Four Lines that's out of Terry?
[00:40:52] It's wearing a diaper and giving two thumbs up.
[00:41:12] So wait, so they fucked, so the Google Glass isn't going to go.
[00:41:17] They're coming back for factory workers.
[00:41:19] Google Glass didn't, it's funny that they would do factory workers because the reason
[00:41:23] Google Glass failed is because they fucking beta tested it in the Bay Area and all these
[00:41:27] like rich gentrifying nerds were wearing them around and getting beaten up.
[00:41:33] We're fucking $3,000 millionaire computer boy glasses.
[00:41:40] I would love to beat up a nerd wearing that shit.
[00:41:42] Yeah, no, all it took was like two viral videos of people wearing Google Glass being
[00:41:46] like, and here I am recording everyone at the bar without their permission.
[00:41:51] All you have to do is throw a stick in front of their segue, wait for them to fall off
[00:41:58] I was saying, what would be amazing is if Google Glass, if all that shit like, like
[00:42:02] fucking got really popular, I would write a computer virus and hack into the Google Glass
[00:42:08] so that it would recognize what a bunched up toilet paper looks like and always add extra
[00:42:14] shit on the toilet paper and then you can trap the entire nation in the bathroom continuing
[00:42:19] to wipe their ass indefinitely because they never know when they're done.
[00:42:23] That's the most brilliant thing you could do.
[00:42:27] No, that wouldn't be to fuck up Google Glass.
[00:42:29] That'd be my fucking world domination shit.
[00:42:32] And while everyone's shitting, what are you doing?
[00:42:36] Oh, motherfucking the coward Jesse Joyce.
[00:42:40] I'm not gonna be the coward Jesse Joyce.
[00:42:43] I'm not gonna be the coward Jesse Joyce.
[00:42:49] You have to know what you're referencing.
[00:42:53] The assassination of, uh, don't shut the fuck up.
[00:42:59] Oh, I have to let him know what it actually is.
[00:43:03] I have to show everyone that I know that get half.
[00:43:07] So let him fucking continue to say it dumb.
[00:43:12] You fucking fun ruining fucking teachers bed bitch.
[00:43:27] Jesse James, he says they've Jesse James by the coward something Ford.
[00:43:37] No, Jesse Joyce is a coward Jesse Joyce dude.
[00:43:51] We all went, I want everyone to message Jesse Joyce and say stop call that Jesse Joyce
[00:44:02] I was trying to come up with a fucking movie about.
[00:44:05] He's the head writer of that midnight, bro.
[00:44:16] Well, thank God you want people to how to work at him?
[00:44:22] It's called let's talk about race, baby.
[00:44:24] Yeah, I don't know what happened with that.
[00:44:26] That midnight used to be like the most successful show I had.
[00:44:34] I think just didn't want to do it anymore.
[00:44:37] I mean, I read that like I have Chris Hardwick.
[00:44:41] Oh, and considering like the combined income or combined wealth with his wife, it's like
[00:44:45] what's his wife do his wife is the heiress to like the Hearst Empire.
[00:44:52] I'm trying to get a hard way came from singled out, dude.
[00:44:56] He was the host of singled out with Jenny McCarthy.
[00:45:00] And then he became America's preeminent nerd comedian.
[00:45:14] He's being dragged in the San Francisco comedy scene right now.
[00:45:18] As a creep and a predator because get this.
[00:45:21] He told some girl she had an obnoxious laugh.
[00:45:24] So now we have to warn all the female comics that Chris Baralak is Chris Baralak.
[00:45:32] Some girl wrote a blog because he went up there.
[00:45:34] First of all, the thing to know about Chris Baralak is he's autistic.
[00:45:38] It's not the like way you accuse everyone you know who's kind of an asshole being autistic
[00:45:47] He's a fucking like he's he can't control himself.
[00:45:49] He just doesn't fucking know any better.
[00:45:50] And I guess he went up to some girl like at a show and was like, you have the most obnoxious
[00:45:58] And he said that there are witches like, wait, I hope you die alone.
[00:46:02] Very is rude, but it's also like that's he's retarded.
[00:46:07] I don't know what you want from him, but he's a retarded man.
[00:46:11] So yeah, she wrote a thing and she's like after discussing it with several other female
[00:46:15] comics who have said that, yeah, he has creepy behavior like this.
[00:46:20] Look at him and you know that this is the kind of misogynist and it's like, there's
[00:46:28] He's just being rude because he doesn't have social skills.
[00:46:30] And it's there's nothing sexual about it either.
[00:46:32] Yeah, that's so weird to couch it in those terms.
[00:46:45] So when he was at GW and I forget how I even heard this story, I thought he was in New
[00:46:57] When he was a student at GW, he was bullied by these students who wrote something in
[00:47:03] like the school paper or whatever and created a character named Barry Chris lick.
[00:47:09] And the hatchet shout out to the GW hatchet.
[00:47:17] All of the stuff you read was like waterproof, floated in the bathtub for baby.
[00:47:25] They make a baby version of Harper's Bazaar.
[00:47:33] Adam's chewing on a teething right now.
[00:47:40] Now you guys have definitely crossed the line.
[00:47:47] One of those little fucking things with things that spin around.
[00:47:56] Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
[00:47:58] doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
[00:48:15] First of all, fat people get bullied straight up.
[00:48:18] Well maybe you would have worked on sports.
[00:48:21] I don't think I would have been European and not fat.
[00:48:34] You're up in Greece, you would be a morbidly obese middle, middleing comedian with a
[00:48:47] There would be no, I would just do 20 minutes in between like plays.
[00:48:51] Yeah, you'd make fun of Albanians and stuff and you would love to make fun of Albanians.
[00:48:54] Look at this Albanian in the front row.
[00:49:08] Just working the clubs and meek-a-nose.
[00:49:14] Dude, I heard these two gay guys on the train.
[00:49:15] I was just eavesdropping on them and they were just talking about the church.
[00:49:22] We're just talking about the tiny train that goes around the mall that's for babies.
[00:49:30] I'm going to go from KB Toys to Orange Julius and get it.
[00:49:32] They're about 99 cents, chill in child's cone.
[00:49:37] Hop back on, take it to Oshkosh, get some suspenders.
[00:49:40] And he goes in there and he goes like, yo, where's the platform with the little koala on it?
[00:49:51] Just lay on that, take your brains off and shit.
[00:49:55] I'm the most mature guy on this podcast.
[00:50:03] Yeah, but we're enjoying it thoroughly.
[00:50:08] It does feel nice to see you guys so happy.
[00:50:14] This is Adam discovering Fisher Price and he goes, Price!
[00:50:28] Oh yeah, we're just talking about going to Greece.
[00:50:30] They're the homophobic thing you're about to say.
[00:50:32] No, you only listened to while you were.
[00:50:35] They just kept saying like, Meek and Us, Resort, Mek and Us, Black Sand, White Sand, Tan,
[00:50:44] They're just like, they weren't even making sentences.
[00:50:45] I flew on a plane next to these two gay guys and it was one of those, like, they're both
[00:50:49] twinks but one of them was like, sassier, so that was the alpha, I guess.
[00:50:55] And you know, like, there's that, whatever that noise is just in an airplane, they're
[00:51:05] They were sitting right next to me and all I could hear was like, the, the sibolence of
[00:51:13] So it was just like, sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp.
[00:51:18] All the sign felt like, like, like all the S's and just nothing but S's and it sounded
[00:51:25] like two snakes sitting at the gate coming back from vacation.
[00:51:39] People don't understand that I just try to keep the show going.
[00:51:41] You know, whatever you take, it's Zac Alphanakis.
[00:51:44] Oh, fucking this is my impression of a gay snake.
[00:51:56] Everyone, people are still ripping off Zac Alphanakis from 15 years ago.
[00:52:01] All the shitty fucking like, you know, yeah, dude, there's just something about bar
[00:52:18] And then he was on the comedians of comedy.
[00:52:23] Grand Caravan got a flat tire on my way to that shit.
[00:52:32] Me and Matt Stowball went really fucked.
[00:52:36] I was going to go to the one in Towson.
[00:52:38] And then that one was like, it was Morgan Murphy who's not like bad, but she was like
[00:52:42] twenty four at the time, you know, and then.
[00:52:49] But yeah, I think it was just the three of them.
[00:52:51] Yeah, it wasn't there that skinny guy who was like the host for all of all comedy for
[00:53:10] Bamford and Zach Elphinakis were not at that show.
[00:53:18] Stowball like bought the ticket for me.
[00:53:21] I was like, oh, I'm going to pick it up.
[00:53:22] Stowball brought me to like three or four just shows for free.
[00:53:25] Dude, he was my black boy when we started.
[00:53:28] Because he used to hang out with all those like that like the black comic crew.
[00:53:33] All those fucking is like Lawrence and Niamh and those guys.
[00:53:40] I think they made him fuck a prostitute for his birthday.
[00:53:43] And he got genital warts from the prostitute.
[00:53:46] He got genital warts from the prostitute.
[00:53:48] Are you got a general warts from fucking his friends mom or something?
[00:53:51] I remember them buying him like a black prostitute for his birthday.
[00:54:02] He had a bit about a homeless guy trying to outsmart a pharmacist for drugs and I was
[00:54:09] a big fan of he's doing so he's doing like like sports or some shit.
[00:54:15] He's like a sports like radio guy or something.
[00:54:22] Damn, I've never I've never been forced.
[00:54:26] I did I tell you sorry about my cousin tried to sneak might at the time 12 year old brother
[00:54:36] My cousin was just like, it doesn't matter.
[00:54:45] That was the same trip to Greece where my father sat my other little brother down while
[00:54:51] watching a James Bond themed porno and tried to teach him like fucking techniques.
[00:54:56] He was just like like they were like watching and he was like they were going over film.
[00:55:01] Can you cocksuckers put your phones down?
[00:55:05] I'm really looking for a list of beautiful information.
[00:55:11] You know, it was a James Bond porn and his dick was really big and I was gonna at the
[00:55:14] end there was a funny bit where he's taking so big that it knocks a woman over and you
[00:55:20] only see the silhouette and there was a big laugh.
[00:55:28] I was my dad never taught me how to fuck.
[00:55:32] It was like he was just showing favoritism to the sexiest son.
[00:55:35] He just assumed me and George weren't gonna fuck.
[00:55:39] So my dad just that's you know, he wouldn't let his bald sons learn.
[00:55:42] This is why I had beautiful flowing locks then.
[00:55:50] That was my step sisters boyfriend when we were like 15.
[00:55:55] Yeah, he was like a year older, but his hairline was receded all the way to the back of his
[00:56:01] He was like a grunge guy, so he still had like long hair.
[00:56:05] You know, like long hair flannels or whatever.
[00:56:07] But then he would like, you know, run his hand through his hair.
[00:56:13] Did you see like how far back his fucking hair started?
[00:56:19] You see them on Facebook like four years later and they're just regular bald guys.
[00:56:23] They had so much edge when they were like 16.
[00:56:26] And they just fucking can't do it anymore.
[00:56:39] I was, I was, I was, I got fat, I think in third grade in preschool.
[00:56:49] I used to have girlfriends like kindergarten, first grade, second grade.
[00:57:01] Then it stopped until like, you know, junior year of high school.
[00:57:08] But I remember in kindergarten, I was, it was playtime and I was paired up with this one
[00:57:12] white trash girl who clearly had a horrible childhood.
[00:57:16] And we were playing like a house and she was, her first of playing house was yell, she
[00:57:23] was the mommy and I was the daddy and she yelled at the daddy for not having a job.
[00:57:28] And then she, and then she fucking took a baby, she took a doll and like put it under
[00:57:34] her dress and then like popped it out and started screaming and I was like, I need to
[00:57:43] And I was just like, oh, oh, and I went home and I told my mom and she's like, what?
[00:57:48] He just immediately called my fucking preschool teacher and I just was switched to a different
[00:57:55] This girl had a horrible life for sure.
[00:57:59] I used to, yeah, I used to like, we used to just get into fights playing power injuries
[00:58:04] because we always decide to play power Rangers.
[00:58:07] And then the whole time, well, the whole, we'd never be able to start because everyone
[00:58:12] I don't, I just put your power rangers and you can start crying because it was too grown
[00:58:17] So I want to play tiny tune adventures.
[00:58:29] This is the happiest I've seen him since the woodworking guys.
[00:58:46] Your mom has to call ahead when they show movie.
[00:58:49] Adam needs to watch Paddington Bear instead.
[00:58:56] He's a gay bear with, it's a rain jacket bear.
[00:59:07] They made a paddington movie a couple of years ago.
[00:59:11] You saw you went to the theater with, no, I saw it in the garden.
[00:59:16] I was on a flight because I dress up to travel.
[00:59:22] I remember my friend Brendan found one time, this is a type of mental disability that children
[00:59:28] can have called Fragile X syndrome, which is not fucking electronic music related.
[00:59:38] They have these suits that they make for them that are like cuffed rubber suits.
[00:59:45] Well, they tend to play with their own shit.
[00:59:48] So it's a suit that just seals all their shit in the suit like a star man and they can
[00:59:54] inflate the suit with shit and they can't get out of it to play with it.
[01:00:04] So these are like little babies just fucking wallowing and shit.
[01:00:19] You know how the fuck that word is pronounced.
[01:00:22] I pronounced it in the South African way.
[01:00:27] So I would imagine that's the right way to pronounce it.
[01:00:33] When you say baboons, is that just what you call black people in South Africa?
[01:00:38] That's a cheap joke and I don't accept it.
[01:00:41] I was actually, we only arrived after the apartheid.
[01:00:48] Your family was responsible for apartheid.
[01:00:52] You know, doesn't your family go way back in like the accounts for the slave traders?
[01:00:58] Isn't that what Friedland means in South African?
[01:01:00] No, we were in Eastern Europe at that time.
[01:01:04] Well, it's Lithuania being very cold, Jews.
[01:01:11] So his family was asked to leave Europe because the non-
[01:01:13] His family was asked to leave Europe because the Nazis were like, look, we don't need any
[01:01:21] But you guys got to get out of here because it's going to look weird.
[01:01:26] If you're the only family we don't kill, we have six million names.
[01:01:35] And there's a man that said, please, I have to share these coconut of peace with us.
[01:01:43] And then they enslaved that guy and took his coconut.
[01:01:50] The thing is that his grandfather was like, it's so hot down here.
[01:02:16] We were all part of Rhodesian death squads.
[01:02:22] The Rhodesian, gas digital network is Rhodesian death squad.
[01:02:29] No, my parents had to leave because they were anti apartheid and they were on a list by
[01:02:42] Yeah, I lived there when I was a kid for three years.
[01:02:51] I went back to American started school.
[01:02:55] But I had to hack that when I was a little kid.
[01:02:56] You didn't start kindergarten until you were six years old?
[01:03:10] It's sort of a redeeming story if it wasn't a complete lie.
[01:03:13] Yeah, I know your family's a war criminal pass.
[01:03:21] My grandfather probably did some shitty things.
[01:03:31] That means he knows that he doesn't want to say.
[01:03:42] My dad says, my dad thinks that he had office buildings.
[01:03:48] And my dad suspects that his father rented office space to the secret police.
[01:03:57] He was a landlord for the secret police.
[01:04:08] My grandfather would help the Nazis find deals.
[01:04:19] But then my dad, my screen is a nice view of the blakes.
[01:04:21] My dad ended up being on a list because they thought he was a potential political enemy.
[01:04:27] And then they tried to draft him into the army.
[01:04:36] My grandfather just bought a bunch of exotic birds.
[01:04:47] That's a hilarious way to live your life.
[01:04:54] The way our fucking apartment building, there's like which bird had a floor.
[01:05:07] The third floor was my uncles and the fourth floor was supposed to be ours.
[01:05:11] And while we were in America, my dad would like go.
[01:05:15] He would go and like do put work into it.
[01:05:17] You know, he would like do the electric one summer.
[01:05:18] He would go back and put tiles and shit in it because my dad always thought we were
[01:05:23] And then when there was like four years in between when it just like didn't look like
[01:05:27] we were moving back, you know, my grandfather just my dad replaced all the tiles.
[01:05:33] My everyone got mad at my grandfather because he had like literally 300 birds balcony and
[01:05:38] it was just squawking and there was shit everywhere.
[01:05:41] So they told me he had to move them and he just put them indoors in our apartment shit
[01:05:48] He had like four or five hundred fuck and just ruined the tiles.
[01:05:51] Just I mean, I think ruining that apartment is pretty much as bad as anything my grandfather
[01:06:04] This is something that my dad suspects that that means he did worse shit and that's what
[01:06:12] No, I think if you if you Google war criminal, whatever comes up is the answer.
[01:06:19] But yeah, shout out to Stavros Halcius.
[01:06:24] I'm after him and he played the lottery.
[01:06:31] Not just birds, but the lottery every day.
[01:06:36] Not a lot of people fucking blow all their money on birds.
[01:06:38] He wouldn't let my grandmother turn the lights on because he was that cheap, but he would
[01:06:42] buy them like expensive vitamins to make his birds coach shiny.
[01:07:04] No, they were like little, they were like little colorful birds.
[01:07:08] They're like, I don't know, some tropical shit.
[01:07:10] They have a story about how my grandparents got married.
[01:07:13] When I was in Puerto Rico, some guy walked down the street and he had three macaws on
[01:07:19] Three full size big ass birds just like clinging to him.
[01:07:21] Have you seen a bird guy on the subway recently?
[01:07:25] You know that guy on the Q train, the bird guy?
[01:07:35] I just, you know, I ride all types of things.
[01:07:36] You have no business riding that train.
[01:07:37] Yeah, I take it to the fucking Barkley Center.
[01:07:46] If I'm near a Q train, I will take it home.
[01:08:12] I've spent the last three years or five years picketing the closure of the FAO Schwartz in
[01:08:19] That's Adam's nickname is FAG Schwartz.
[01:08:43] Were you just talking in your regular voice?
[01:08:52] I think we should talk about parlatic Sunday show.
[01:09:13] I don't understand why divorce is funny.
[01:09:23] I found a model train forum where the topic was...
[01:09:28] Has your ex-wife tried to take the trains and the divorce?
[01:09:33] And one guy was like, I heard about a guy that got divorced and his wife and the new boyfriend
[01:09:39] came in to destroy everything train related in the house.
[01:09:49] And then I was like, Googling, you know how like...
[01:09:55] You know you'd be walking around and somebody would be like, I just need canned milk for
[01:10:02] So I googled like, canned milk, EBT scam.
[01:10:09] Yeah, and I found a thread on AR15.com.
[01:10:14] And the topic was, witnessed an EBT purchase today at Costco.
[01:10:20] And then the guy lists the things they bought and it's like Mountain Dew code red, Starbucks,
[01:10:26] Frappuccinos, you know, and other people are like, I can't believe this.
[01:10:31] You should have used your AR15s at Cambridge.
[01:10:34] Yeah, well, they're fucking, they're mad that people are using...
[01:10:38] First of all, they're mad that they even have EBT cards.
[01:10:40] But then they think like, you know, if they have EBT cards, they should only be allowed
[01:10:42] to buy, you know, hard tack and fucking...
[01:10:50] These poor people are doing something that makes them smile.
[01:10:56] No, that thread was the fucking masterpiece.
[01:10:58] You know, you can use your EBT card at the, at farmers markets in New York City.
[01:11:05] So you can get good vegetables and shit for your family.
[01:11:08] No, no, the one in Union Square is not that expensive.
[01:11:12] But especially when you go to the end of the day, guys, if you go at the end of the day...
[01:11:19] Most people only go buy nice vegetables once in a while.
[01:11:23] It's much easier to just live off shit.
[01:11:24] Well, if it's part of your commute, if you like go home from Union Square, it's like
[01:11:31] It's like, as much as people say like, you know, oh, well, processed foods are so bad
[01:11:36] for you or whatever, it's like, it's so much fucking easier.
[01:11:40] I'll trade off whatever 10 years of my life I'm losing for the convenience of a hot pocket.
[01:11:45] Yeah, but you also just feel shit like shit.
[01:11:50] When I'm really on my shits, when I'm really fucking eating veggies and meats and only
[01:11:56] Like, the last couple of weeks, I kind of...
[01:11:57] I haven't been as devout a paleo warrior and I felt horrible.
[01:12:06] Adam's just saying that because you look like the baby that he feels...
[01:12:14] I'd be like, you guys come over to my new apartment.
[01:12:19] He's just holding a picture of Donald talking.
[01:13:05] She took her clothes off and she was wearing a little baby diaper.
[01:13:11] And she had a little bit of cock on there.
[01:13:27] Yeah, to get the fuck Salma Hayek, I changed her diaper.
[01:13:30] All right, so I guess you have a baby fetish.
[01:13:32] I'm gonna immediately take a picture and then blackmail.
[01:13:52] I think I've actually, this year, years ago, the hot, the woman you want to fuck the most,
[01:14:05] You can never tell anyone and that's all that's going to happen is she eats your ass.
[01:14:11] And you can't tell anyone, she doesn't jerk you off.
[01:14:22] Yeah, you don't understand how hypothetical question is.
[01:14:25] No, it's not a good hypothetical question.
[01:14:28] Somebody comes to you and says they're going to give you a million dollars.
[01:14:44] Actually, I at first was not very comfortable with it.
[01:14:48] And I'm still kind of not very comfortable with it.
[01:14:51] Yeah, I agree with having your diaper off for too long, huh?
[01:14:55] You get to have the nappy back on so you can feel safe and you're screwed around.
[01:15:09] Guys, I can never wear diapers under my Japanese skinny jeans.
[01:15:16] No, you just have secret Japanese diapers.
[01:15:32] You make every, they put one earring in every girl.
[01:15:36] It's like, I've seen a million girl babies.
[01:15:44] The formula for the podcast is that we actually were in eighth grade.
[01:15:47] But this episode, we've literally entered like second or first grade.
[01:15:52] This is by far the dumbest episode we've ever done in our lives.
[01:15:58] It's very funny and I'm happy to be your foil.
[01:16:02] But yeah, I mean, this is a new low even for us.
[01:16:07] I think you're just being defensive because this is the most offended you've been.
[01:16:13] We've kind of nailed you to the wall this whole episode.
[01:16:14] You're fucking good to go home and cry about being a baby.