Cum Town | Premium | 08/28/2017
[00:00:00] But I don't know that I don't know that I don't know that I don't know that I you're listening to conservative talk radio cool guitar riff at the front so you know we're high blood pressure yeah we're addicted pills
[00:00:16] I had a I slipped a disc 17 years ago changing the time on a VCR and so now I still do 240 milligrams oxycodone every single day and so it started because of my slip disc
[00:00:34] my injury that I sustained while arguing with the employees at Ames over a discount dude that's where racism comes from it's from Ames we guys remember Ames the store was it an electronic store
[00:00:47] no it was like a home and garden did a bunch of shit they sold like hammocks and train sets and pots for plants hammocks and trains yeah it's just a bunch of shit the only thing I know that there was an Ames that went out of business
[00:01:03] this is back in my dad's drinking days it was like a Saturday afternoon and he saw that they were going to have like a going out of business sale and there was a model like a slot car sit you know what slot cars are oh yeah there was a slot car set that he wanted to buy so he went to Ames for that going out of business sale and he bought it and he took it home
[00:01:22] and he had a couple beers and set it up and it just wasn't working so he brought it back to Ames and then all sales are final I had to sit there while he screamed at the top of his lawn and he was ready to call the police
[00:01:35] yeah you can't you can't try to return something from it going out of business yeah well he got his money back did he yeah I just remember having to sit there while he screamed
[00:01:43] that's always a weird thing watching her parents deal with customer service to get returns yeah you know it's so fun they do some really despicable things they did but I was embarrassing because I mean I started working when I was 15 and I always would just work shitty jobs
[00:01:55] uh-huh and my dad like didn't have to get a bullshit job until he was like 49 years old like he just worked as a photographer and then his business failed and then he like
[00:02:08] they went retail yeah they were in retail and I remember prior to that he'd be like no let me tell you something because I'm the customer he's like one of those guys yeah yeah yeah he's like you don't understand how much of a piece of shit oh no and then he started making eight dollars an hour you know stocking shelves and then suddenly he's like I don't understand it people just treat you like shit you've been doing that your whole fucking life so that's so sad if you have a fucking heart attack yeah that shit turns you all around really fast asking permission to go to the bathroom
[00:02:37] somebody's 17 years old fucking grown man yeah so this is stop is gone this is our first no stop episode yeah we have to go where do you go who knows no one knows what happened to him he went to greeze
[00:02:55] yeah large hole in the floor how long did you spend working on that one Adam about three four days when we did the podcast we mentioned the stops gone I'm gonna say you went to greeze yeah that's gonna really kill people love it when I mispronounce words that's like one of one of my the things people love most about me it's gonna be funny when you have a
[00:03:17] spindly half Korean son that despises you and is an alt right video game mr. a type who just fucking hates your stupid mispronunciation jokes and hates it he's half Asian yeah yeah that sounds about right yeah he's gonna hate
[00:03:34] these half Asian oh they they get there's a reddit for half Asian people and they're all furious that's a game guys half Asian the one that's the gamer gate guy that's like on the news all the time what's his
[00:03:46] name I don't fucking know I don't know why Elliot Rogers was happy the l.e. roger's half Filipino yeah they're worst combo white Filipino when the two master races combined it's it's the other master races Filipino yeah yeah it was Asian okay you know sure you combine white and Asian what create I mean those are the two of the three races you just say that black people are
[00:04:14] no there's Mexican there's Puerto Rican there's yeah there's not three races yeah there's black Asian and this if you go by like the weird government census there's like yeah there's like four or something there's all that there's
[00:04:28] the problem is you're going by old school shit the trilogy yeah that's how I go the holy the holy trinity that's what the that the head is mon
[00:04:48] That's why the KKK dresses up like ghosts.
[00:04:54] Yeah, that's where you gotta address the lack of the elephant in the room.
[00:05:03] And it definitely didn't say that two minutes before the show started.
[00:05:08] Look, look at the show outline that I created.
[00:05:11] Please take a look at the notes that I spent.
[00:05:14] I didn't know that this was chronological.
[00:05:15] I thought that we floated around and it hit them.
[00:05:20] No, Nick wants it to be good while stop's gone.
[00:05:24] You want it to be really good while stop's gone.
[00:05:29] Yeah, I want him to listen to the podcast.
[00:05:44] You know, it's like you hand it on an office, but for the most retarded anarchist.
[00:05:54] If I had done this before you were here, if you noticed the last bullet point, the S
[00:06:02] And I would have thrown these away and fixed it and reprinted them.
[00:06:07] You give me a pen so I can bold that, Ness.
[00:06:10] No, I'm kind of wanting to throw this whole thing away.
[00:06:18] I shouldn't be qualified to have all this that I have, but then it's like, what am I
[00:06:34] It's not really anything to worry about.
[00:06:43] He went to Greece to get his dick cut off.
[00:06:50] Yeah, Stav's gone on vacation to Greece.
[00:06:53] Kind of root of him to plan a three-week vacation.
[00:06:56] That's a long time to go on a vacation.
[00:07:02] I've been waiting to get that cat out of the bag.
[00:07:05] And I've been setting timers for each one of these bullet points.
[00:07:12] So we're not talking about Stav anymore.
[00:07:15] We're going to move on to the next one.
[00:07:17] How do we edit all of his laughter out of the old episodes and add them as backing vocals
[00:07:22] I think that this is going to be the biggest problem we run into.
[00:07:32] Yeah, he'll have to fake laugh and fluff about a shooting.
[00:07:37] It bothers me, but hey, you know, whatever makes the clock run out.
[00:07:40] That's true. He does eat up about 20 minutes with his ridiculous life.
[00:07:51] So it's actually that movie that fly around and eat up airplanes and shit.
[00:07:56] I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:07:59] We don't know any of the Game of Thrones stuff.
[00:08:01] It's a be made for TV movie from the 90s.
[00:08:07] I watched some made for TV movie last night.
[00:08:14] Where it's like, yeah, John Malkovich is in it.
[00:08:16] And John Malkovich is in it for like three seconds at the beginning.
[00:08:22] Or like the whole movie is a flash back.
[00:08:28] It's about to some like rugby team that crashes in the Andes.
[00:08:37] It seems like it's a made for TV movie.
[00:08:38] Because it's a guy that's like, we got to start eating people.
[00:08:41] And the other guy's like, are you freaking nutso?
[00:08:45] Have you lost your gosh mind over here?
[00:08:49] You know, no one has any real emotion, which is kind of the rule for TV movies.
[00:08:56] Let's just get to the next commercial break.
[00:09:04] I mean, maybe it wasn't made for TV, but it was just a bizarre how bad it was.
[00:09:17] Should we say should I get fatter for this?
[00:09:22] Really though, we should I should just go back to old episodes and package all of his
[00:09:27] canned laughter like they do with shows now.
[00:09:41] They probably actually have a studio audience.
[00:09:42] What multi cam sitcoms are I guess they're a bunch of the while they canceled.
[00:10:00] I just don't see a sitcom being good anymore.
[00:10:04] You watch them and then even if they are good, there's something feels dated about it.
[00:10:10] John Mulaney tried to bring it back on his show.
[00:10:13] John Mulaney shit was like an homage to television.
[00:10:18] All those fucking nerds do that thing where they're like, you know, the peak of my my
[00:10:23] commuted career is going to be like, we're going to do like an homage to like the old
[00:10:27] fucking the fat guy used to hit his wife, the honeymooners or whatever.
[00:10:31] Like when Louie had like a three camera thing, it was supposed to be like this really smart
[00:10:42] You're taking a format that used to work that doesn't really anymore and you're like, hey,
[00:10:45] let's bring that back because there was a couple of good things that used that format.
[00:10:49] Forget that fucking like every single television season had like my smart wife is following
[00:10:56] the stupid husband coming up after fat guy wife is too hot for him, you know, that it
[00:11:08] You know, it was a pretty good that they get slept on grounded for life.
[00:11:25] My next or neighbor, my new next or neighbor, she sits in her car and smokes cigarettes all
[00:11:30] day long and watches sons of anarchy on her laptop.
[00:11:35] This Puerto Rican guy that steals bicycles and he's probably like 65 years old.
[00:11:39] He could be anywhere from 45 to 65 years old.
[00:11:41] He could be anywhere from 20 years old to 87 years old.
[00:11:47] Dude, I work with a guy who I thought was like 50 and he's just like Mexican dude or he's
[00:11:53] He's, he's, well, he thought he was old.
[00:11:55] I asked him yesterday, held he was and he was like, I am 26.
[00:12:00] Yeah, I'm fucking four years older than him.
[00:12:07] So we have an older Mexican guy with Jacob on the show.
[00:12:12] We got a real little argue with you guys.
[00:12:14] The thing is we got, we got to bring on Tejano, bring on POC to the shows.
[00:12:18] Anytime we have a fill in, if you guys remember my West Coast episodes that I did with a woman
[00:12:31] You just got the two, the two, the Trump, the blacks for Trump guy on your podcast.
[00:12:38] When co-hosting my show was Sheriff David Clark and K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K.
[00:12:44] One of those women that writes love letters to prison Nazis.
[00:12:47] When P.D. did the show, he was like, he was like, yeah, I think I'm a race realist.
[00:12:53] He's like black male comics or they're like all right guys, basically.
[00:13:08] You see, you have someone worse than you.
[00:13:12] I think the people like that are just more comic than they are person.
[00:13:16] The people that are just obsessed with getting famous, they Trump's everything and they have
[00:13:30] I consider myself to be a magnanimous, benevolent.
[00:13:36] Jesus Christ figure in the comedy scene.
[00:13:40] So, like I imagine myself as like St. Francis, but instead of a robe, it's just very comfortable
[00:13:47] gym attire, like my enormous basketball.
[00:13:52] But yeah, Nick is wearing about 24 inch long basketball, Adidas basketball shorts.
[00:14:04] Hold up so you can see his balls through the bottom of it.
[00:14:07] You cut a hole for your balls in the bottom of the shorts, right?
[00:14:11] They go from your nipples to your mid-calf.
[00:14:15] So, you wear a nice racer tee, a racer tank.
[00:14:20] So real like spaghetti string, you know, weightlifting shirt.
[00:14:26] And then instead of being surrounded by birds and squirrels, it's just all the open micers.
[00:14:30] They're crawling all over me, begging me for attention.
[00:14:33] They're like little angel wings and shit.
[00:14:39] They all respect me and fear me because I could crush them.
[00:14:41] I could easily just put one of their heads down on a cinder block and crush it at my
[00:14:51] Yeah, that's why you command a lot of respect.
[00:14:55] Because of how easily I could crush these people.
[00:14:57] Yeah, it's only because of physical prowess.
[00:14:59] Yeah, I hope that man doesn't crush me.
[00:15:06] Jake, let's talk about your black experience in America.
[00:15:10] I don't know what everyone's complaining about.
[00:15:22] No, I just just just follow the rules and you don't get arrested.
[00:15:30] Did you get arrested just sitting on a porch once?
[00:15:32] Yeah, I got arrested drinking a beer in my own fucking porch a couple of years ago.
[00:15:36] There was a dead day when we were at the apartment.
[00:15:39] We were on the porch talking about how they never do those warrant roundups.
[00:15:43] You got arrested like seven hours later.
[00:15:45] I got a shit ton of warrants and I never have to worry about it.
[00:15:52] Yeah, that was for the first one because I were just thinking like, well, you know,
[00:16:00] So, I was like, well, when the fuck is a cop going to just come up to me and just ask
[00:16:12] But they also, that was like, you know, I don't think cops like started getting more
[00:16:16] I think it's more that like, you know, the cell phone technology came out to where we
[00:16:21] But it did seem like they started getting crazier, you know, like five, six years ago.
[00:16:26] Yeah, I mean, if I think back through my life, I remember like the idea of a police officer
[00:16:30] was like, you know, even when I was a kid, they fucking just send me a tire.
[00:16:35] They would wear white shirts and, you know, white blue or, you know, whatever color shirt.
[00:16:42] They look like a fucking electrician that happened to have like a gun on them in a badge.
[00:16:47] You know, and the dumb, like pointed crossing guard hat.
[00:16:49] And now it's like regular beat cops wear like tactical gear.
[00:16:54] You know, after like 9-11, like a lot of them have their head shade.
[00:16:57] Like imagine the idea of like in fucking, you know, 1985, a cop with his head completely
[00:17:07] You don't, you don't have noticed in New York, a lot of Asian cops in China town.
[00:17:11] A lot of Asian cops and they're all like, yo, Tony, where we go for lunch?
[00:17:16] I'm trying to get some fucking dumplings.
[00:17:21] The Asian guys with the fucking New York accent.
[00:17:25] There's some of them that have, they're like Chinese immigrants that are learning English
[00:17:28] from those guys, so they have like this weird hybrid like, you know, like, yeah, I've been
[00:17:34] long time since I had a nice slice of pizza.
[00:17:49] It's like, and it's on the edge of the sign is a gun.
[00:17:52] But the guy in the middle of it, because it's right on the edge of Little Italy is like
[00:17:54] this old fucking Asian guy with that Italian accent and also like this weird southern get
[00:18:01] I'm looking for like empty shell casings or something.
[00:18:05] And he was like, you need permit for everything.
[00:19:01] So Jake, you're from you're from you're from Houston, Texas.
[00:19:09] I was a dick about that before I moved here.
[00:19:26] It's not black people which you're going to blame on.
[00:19:30] You're going to say I think it's West Africans and West Indian people.
[00:19:35] I thought my brain went like trinity on that too because it sounds like a group.
[00:19:46] Even when this was a good neighborhood.
[00:19:49] Filled with the original inhabitants before it was Blentrify.
[00:19:58] Why don't we talk about how this neighborhood was Blentrify.
[00:19:59] And they started moving in here with their fancy Cadillacs and Fuzzy Dice.
[00:20:14] Like he had an iPad and then a Bluetooth speaker.
[00:20:16] You know the thing kids do where they have like in their like that small backpack.
[00:20:22] You know remember how when we were in high school that small backpack thing became a
[00:20:25] hit because it was like yeah I don't have any books.
[00:20:30] I got one shoe in this like footlocker gym bag.
[00:20:42] You know they put like a fucking when there's a UBL like speaker like pills like a beats
[00:20:49] pill in there and they'll like walk around listening to that.
[00:20:53] Make everyone else listen to your fucking music.
[00:20:55] An 82 year old guy with a like you know fucking like stick ball baseball hat on skew in that
[00:21:05] It has almost completely sideways on their fucking head.
[00:21:11] And he's blasting Sinatra Sinatra out of some hidden speaker somewhere on his box.
[00:21:16] Old Puerto Rican street guys are fucking great because they do like the same shit as their
[00:21:19] kids but it looks like old wack a new music.
[00:21:23] Well this is his that he's friends with this guy the Victor guy.
[00:21:29] The superintendent of your building I guess he just I mean when I met him he introduced
[00:21:32] himself as the mayor of the block which blocks don't have mayors.
[00:21:36] They don't have mayors and I'm like I didn't vote you know whatever but but now I kind
[00:21:40] of respect his authority as I like that there's a king of the block and then there's a feudal
[00:21:48] I think yeah it's not the king of the block he chose a lower.
[00:21:52] I think he considers it to be like a parliamentary governor.
[00:22:00] I mean he I literally you made that joke the Andre steakhouse the you got to give respect
[00:22:06] I literally have heard that him give that speech to 12 and 13 year old boys on our block
[00:22:12] like five or six different times just shouting at them.
[00:22:15] Yeah about how to give respect and be respectful.
[00:22:18] Meanwhile his like backdrop is piles of stolen bison.
[00:22:26] They just filled it like it could not be any more obvious that this is a bicycle stealing
[00:22:32] Like no aim other than just mass collection.
[00:22:37] It doesn't seem like he's selling them though it's coming by.
[00:22:41] He was cleaning up a motorcycle the other day I'm assuming he also steals the motorcycles.
[00:22:44] Yeah and then his just maybe you trade in the bicycles for the motorcycle like a Chuckie
[00:22:50] Maybe yeah that could be maybe you can get like three bikes for a motorcycle.
[00:22:58] But yeah and then his wife is the one that sits in this immobile car that never moves
[00:23:03] and smokes stoves and watches tons of anarchy on our laptop.
[00:23:12] Yeah and then so yeah so he has like you know there are like five or six men that live on
[00:23:16] my block that are sort of his underlings respect Victor respect his you know his his
[00:23:26] And last weekend at about 1am I see him on the street like running like calling up drawing
[00:23:34] He was like holding a football he was like all right now you run like a button hook down
[00:23:37] that way and I will see you run like a cross route like that way.
[00:23:41] He's like playing quarterback at 1am like five different out of shape middle age men
[00:23:53] Yeah I love him man I mean I really do respect him.
[00:23:58] Oh yeah all New York Puerto Rican guys are fucking hilarious.
[00:24:01] They're just professionally are like talking at Bodega guys or just hanging out of windows
[00:24:09] Yeah and he's got that thing also when like you're like an older man you can only like
[00:24:15] whisper sort of like OJ's friend in that documentary where he's just like you got to give respect.
[00:24:25] It's that weird New York thing where they have that leathery skin everything looks peeled
[00:24:33] They have like all this all this weird vascularity where you can't tell if they're jacked or
[00:24:38] not it's like a pointy sort of you know.
[00:24:43] Like it's from getting ready to punch people your entire life.
[00:24:48] Don't yeah come at me bro you just hold that position for years and eventually your body
[00:24:56] You just turn yourself into one of those t-shirts of a like a pit bull with like human
[00:25:01] Yeah yeah oh yeah he has a pit bull too and with human arms.
[00:25:04] Yeah he stole his whole talk with stolen.
[00:25:07] He has his his right the bicycles around this I test.
[00:25:11] His pit is the same height as my pit but about a hundred pounds heavier.
[00:25:16] He like that he that and it's not only fat I mean his his pit is just like buff fat.
[00:25:24] Smoosh is into the ground you're doing push ups now.
[00:25:28] He was like doing lighter tricks next to the dog's head and laughing.
[00:25:34] Yeah I guess there's this other guy that lives on my block who's sort of like a redneck
[00:25:39] I love people are like old and 14 at the same fucking time.
[00:25:44] You know trying to impress people with the bus station.
[00:25:47] Exactly yeah and this guy like had a lighter that he like sort of Jerry rig to like do that
[00:25:53] thing where it like shoots out like a huge flame like for one second.
[00:25:56] Yeah he's just like doing it at his dog.
[00:25:59] His dog is bar he's like yeah you see Coco don't like that.
[00:26:03] What I said thing is you got to understand the dog.
[00:26:06] Either like sings or it don't like shit.
[00:26:08] There's two modes that the dog can understand and that's the kind of intelligence that the
[00:26:12] dog can appreciate is two different ways of doing things.
[00:26:16] Yeah they do that they always do like rap hands like while they're talking to try to
[00:26:19] seem like wise but they're saying a name bullshit because they're old they get to a certain
[00:26:24] age where they're like well I guess I'm smart now.
[00:26:27] I guess I've like become smart years old.
[00:26:32] I told you this is a long time ago when I was in jail one time and they'd make you
[00:26:35] go watch the like go talk to the judge see all get handcuffed together and then like fucking
[00:26:39] ten guys to have to sit there and plead with the judge or whatever and like this one guy
[00:26:43] who was like a fucking moron the whole time or in the cell was like watch this or whatever
[00:26:47] and he does the rap hands things like the judges like so I see you here you have like
[00:26:51] three children and he's like they be infant minds.
[00:26:55] He's doing this weird speech bag Adam like winking at everyone like I fucking nailed
[00:27:01] it by you know talking about my children is if they're like humans or something.
[00:27:07] No I remember when I would just ride the bus around as a teenager it was nothing but
[00:27:11] like older black dudes it would just be like look here now I'm gonna tell you something
[00:27:19] You just like get a speech about women.
[00:27:24] I really was like this homeless I'm pretty sure he was homeless he's definitely fucking
[00:27:30] I would see him around all the time and he was like he asked me for a dollar one time
[00:27:36] I was like you got a cigarette or whatever because that's 15 I couldn't buy my own cigarettes
[00:27:40] and he was like mother fuck I got a whole pocket full of cigarettes and he pulls out
[00:27:45] like just all these half smoke cigarettes he found in the garbage.
[00:27:51] I'm like he can just have a dollar and he's like what I will give you is some vice you
[00:27:56] know and he's like now do you know what pheromones are and I was like yeah they're like chemicals
[00:28:04] I said no what it is is it smells to come out of your body.
[00:28:11] He's like now you got to work out them pheromones see all these motherfuckers out here wearing
[00:28:17] cologne and shit and it's like you just got to build up them pheromones and the women
[00:28:24] He's like to make it in case for not bathing anymore.
[00:28:31] I got a whole pocket full of cigarettes.
[00:28:34] Alright hot take minute headlines Trump pardons sheriff Joe Arpaio.
[00:28:40] Well we got to ask Jake about that as a one of his victims as a man for all the reasons
[00:28:47] all the times you went to jail was always sheriff.
[00:28:52] I don't know what else to throw at that.
[00:28:55] Well I say it's bad because Jake says that's bad.
[00:29:00] I say it's good because you know what it shows is loyalty.
[00:29:08] There's no there's in no way is it justified.
[00:29:12] There's no defense of this contempt of court.
[00:29:15] There's no nothing you can say to warrant what Trump did.
[00:29:20] It's not even like you know he was facing 30 years in prison.
[00:29:28] It's not that he's evil what he is is fiercely loyal.
[00:29:31] This is a guy he was like sort of united with on Twitter over like the bursar tippie.
[00:29:36] Yeah he's like I will do everything my power Mr. Trump to find the real bursar tippie.
[00:29:42] I mean the Reagan's let uh uh uh rock Hudson die of AIDS just like you know there was
[00:29:49] And we're like yeah we don't want to look bad or whatever.
[00:29:52] And just especially like right after uh Charlottesville or whatever you know to know that this is
[00:30:00] going to make me look like a complete fucking.
[00:30:02] And just like abject evil and it's like a friend is a friend.
[00:30:07] I saw a guy I've I've faved with a couple of times online.
[00:30:12] I have his back and you know what that is a type of of character you don't see in any
[00:30:22] And it's like honestly it's one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen in American
[00:30:30] Uh I I saw someone pulled up an old tweet of Sheriff Joe and he was like I'm actively
[00:30:36] working on finding the birth certificate of President Obama on behalf of Donald Trump
[00:30:42] Oh man I think that I think I definitely think that the fact that they have the same birthday
[00:30:48] they definitely played you gotta be gotta fucking you gotta stand up for your birthday
[00:30:54] I will always have the back of Taylor Swift Steve Buschami Jamie Fox.
[00:31:00] Yeah I will always respect Mike's Win Dragon Steven Seagal who shares the same birthday
[00:31:16] Beautiful for not standing up for being thrown in jail with my Sheriff Joe.
[00:31:24] So me and Trump are kind of birthday boys.
[00:31:29] That would be a good name for a guy that got shot.
[00:31:34] Uh no I don't know he probably died because of his belly being old lady.
[00:31:40] Yeah probably made blues or some blues guys yeah.
[00:31:43] How about a like uh like one of these like Blake shaped Brooklyn guys you know.
[00:31:50] Like a guy that's fat has always been fat but now that he's like in his late 30s has
[00:31:56] convinced himself it's a normal level of fat and not fat.
[00:32:05] I hear a lot of those guys refer to themselves as having mass.
[00:32:12] No stop knows he's fat and stops definitely a fat kid.
[00:32:19] That's why he does that naked fat guy thing because like any of the apprehension about
[00:32:22] being fat or insecurities like that gets beaten out of you when you're fucking young.
[00:32:27] And then you sort of just embrace being a fat guy.
[00:32:30] And then you have sort of like a latent bitterness that never goes away.
[00:32:34] Which turns into being you know like a lecherous.
[00:33:16] They're like I am tired of having so much sex.
[00:33:22] Oh no those guys are on they all have the same accent.
[00:33:30] I mean I can how about a Lincoln continental accent.
[00:33:34] I'm trying to how about a Lincoln continental experience.
[00:33:52] So it's a smiley face but it's like smirking.
[00:33:58] Like I'm I'm not supposed to eat the feather in the fedora made out of pineapple.
[00:34:30] You're honor Mr. President Donald Jefferson Trump.
[00:34:46] Your people share those like weird game of thrones fucking illustrations of Hillary just
[00:34:51] like standing in a cave with like a light over shit like my queen we've failed.
[00:34:58] So many posts in his guy Branham tweet where he was like for all the people criticizing
[00:35:01] Hillary for not campaigning in Wisconsin reminder that you didn't campaign.
[00:35:09] Yeah just reminder that you didn't take a break from your job as millionaire TV writer.
[00:35:14] You know fucking waste time in a state you don't live in.
[00:35:18] You tell people that work to be Donald and shit you're supposed to take a road trip to
[00:35:22] fucking off so you can go campaign for your leaves.
[00:35:25] Also like at the time like I don't know what the fuck was going on in Wisconsin.
[00:35:30] Yeah anyway the Nazi so this feels like already cold news because it's been like a day it
[00:35:34] sucks the news sucks now because he's a jail now after like he did.
[00:35:38] Yeah but he went to white jail where Sheriff Joe is.
[00:35:42] Yeah yeah Sheriff Joe let him wear regular colored underpants.
[00:35:46] Yeah that's so that was just as an aside that was so weird that Sheriff Joe just got
[00:35:52] obsessed with pink underpants pink everything not just underpants was it like pink like
[00:35:56] pink shirts yeah yeah the whole like jumpsuit or whatever he's like oh you're gay.
[00:36:05] Wait but what was this stand up it was probably pretty good.
[00:36:09] Oh yeah it was fucking gold is slave man.
[00:36:13] It was his list he was like a libertarian like edgelord or whatever.
[00:36:18] Yeah like I feel like everyone's already seen this by the time this comes out or whatever
[00:36:21] but I haven't saw it yesterday and they're like blew my fucking mind because it's like
[00:36:24] every shithead you see at the end of every open mic that's like you know listen up the
[00:36:30] federal reserve you know it's like you know weird edgy shit that they think is going to
[00:36:34] blow your mind half the jokes about being an alcoholic.
[00:36:42] Oh okay I mean this is I'm coming from Texas but libertarian politics aside there's always
[00:36:47] just somebody who thinks that they figured out all of politics because they read one book
[00:36:51] Tim at the creek in the cave he used to be that guy sort of not libertarian.
[00:37:06] I'm saying he wasn't a libertarian but he's that kind of.
[00:37:08] Paul to the outside of it it's more of a personality thing.
[00:37:10] You can see why somebody gets drawn in a certain direction because they're just like trying
[00:37:13] to be like they just want somebody to fucking listen to them and they're trying to be like
[00:37:17] be respected as like an intellectual for being like I don't like the right or the left.
[00:37:23] Like it blows your fucking mind or whatever.
[00:37:25] Like it was funny to watch him just like suck.
[00:37:28] Like he wore like a shitty leather jacket.
[00:37:31] It's funny to watch how fucking bad Stephen Crowder is his stand up.
[00:37:36] I mean it's like and it's not just I'm not one of those people.
[00:37:39] It's like oh this guy's bullshit politics he probably sucks at comedy.
[00:37:42] I would admit it if he was good at comedy.
[00:37:44] There are a lot of good people at comedy that have bullshit politics.
[00:37:49] He's like just so fucking bad at comedy.
[00:37:53] You know I don't understand who that's supposed to be for.
[00:37:56] It's for conservative parents that pay him a shit ton of money.
[00:38:01] He should just they should bring back Arthur and he should go back to being one of the
[00:38:04] voices on I think what is he like adjust for laughs or something.
[00:38:09] Like I think that's where he got his like big debut starter or something.
[00:38:13] I'm not surprised that the industry made a bad bet.
[00:38:22] That's every agent manager you ever talk to.
[00:38:29] Satella told me that about it's at South by Southwest and when they book Brandon Wardell
[00:38:35] he's like hey do you know this kid Brandon Wardell.
[00:38:41] Dude every time that have to do with girls.
[00:38:45] Every time somebody can halfway decently do stand up and they're like 20 or something.
[00:38:50] They all get their fucking hooks in them quick because they were trying to like cash
[00:38:54] in real hard on like a Donald Glover situation or something.
[00:39:01] I got standing for diversity when I was like 21 or something and like that's what they
[00:39:07] When I was 21 I had like interest for management without them ever seeing me do stand up once.
[00:39:15] It was literally just that I was like 20, 21 years old.
[00:39:22] And then they were like can you read these sides for these movie auditions.
[00:39:27] It's like well I'm going to stand up comedian.
[00:39:37] Is that video still up if you're doing it?
[00:39:42] I did all the characters and I dressed in drag.
[00:39:47] People would call that really dead pantheys.
[00:39:49] Well the thing is like man the society was a lot better three years ago.
[00:39:54] Seven years ago and honestly yes it was.
[00:40:01] If you'd said that's transphobic to me seven years ago I'd be like that's hilarious.
[00:40:11] That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
[00:40:14] It's like homophobia but they mean for like tranis which is the term they preferred back
[00:40:21] All sketch comedy was drag for like 40 years.
[00:40:25] Monty Python, Kiss in the Hall, it was all dudes dressing up as women.
[00:40:30] His entire act was pretending to be mentally retarded.
[00:40:38] Yeah look at these funny faces I'm doing.
[00:40:42] Right now you literally can't even say retarded.
[00:40:45] I went outside I said retarded the other day.
[00:40:48] These people started giving me mean looks.
[00:40:49] I was just screaming retarded at the top of my lungs.
[00:40:54] Dude I was in front of a bar the night and this woman was just yelling I'm mentally ill
[00:40:59] and just throwing pots of boiling water out the window.
[00:41:03] It was fucking awesome and it just came into the bar for like a drink.
[00:41:09] Congratulations to her and her transition.
[00:41:11] Number two I fully support her being equally represented in media.
[00:41:20] She's like the next big thing so we're going to have her at.
[00:41:29] Why you it's because it's a woman who's throwing.
[00:41:36] The problem with even with like the Brandon shit isn't fucking Brandon.
[00:41:39] It's like these like brain dead you know.
[00:41:43] Bookers who see their brain dead were Dell.
[00:41:45] Who see their talent in like figuring out what's cool rather than like what's funny.
[00:41:51] They want to be ahead of trends rather than actually having your own discerning case.
[00:41:57] More often than not you meet people in whatever your creative field is.
[00:42:00] So when the people that are working on the production or facilitation side that are trying
[00:42:08] to place bets and figure out what people will respond to rather than actually liking
[00:42:13] for real liking the thing that they're involved in.
[00:42:16] Well it goes against everything that their job stands for.
[00:42:18] The problem is we got a fucking situation now where people have meaningless jobs and
[00:42:22] So they make up this weird thing where they're like oh my talent here what I specialize in
[00:42:28] is aggregating young up and coming for you're an idiot.
[00:42:35] Well it's like even even this thing for this show we had that like we're trying to hire
[00:42:37] somebody to do the video stuff for the show.
[00:42:40] So I asked people to send in resumes and I was like inundated with resumes and like
[00:42:45] the first seven I looked at I'm like yeah these all work these are all perfectly fine
[00:42:49] and I set up like a couple of interviews and then it was just like yeah I'll just pick
[00:42:54] It's like doesn't I'm not worried really about it this sort of work.
[00:42:59] Yeah yeah yeah I talked to him already about it.
[00:43:03] But when we never do the video stuff you know it's because I'm lazy not because you
[00:43:09] know my inability to do things it's because I you know it's not that I don't have the
[00:43:14] talent I just don't do the work and the other people who really don't have talent who get
[00:43:19] all the money they neither have talent nor do they do any work.
[00:43:37] This is the wrong way to say the motorcycle.
[00:43:43] Maybe this is called Hurricane Harvey Danger.
[00:43:46] Damn wow I'm not sick but I'm not well.
[00:43:51] I think about Batman you know Harvey that shit.
[00:43:57] And then like in the what are some other famous Harvey?
[00:44:04] Yeah so Jake everyone all your people are okay.
[00:44:09] Does Texas deserve this the answer is yes.
[00:44:12] Well I heard that Texas they got enough guns together and they shot the hurricane.
[00:44:16] There's all these fucking people like tweeting like their pictures of their fucking like
[00:44:20] hurricane you know shit that they gathered and it's like food and a generator and then
[00:44:27] There's just constantly Texas where you just imagine you're going to eat these fucking
[00:44:32] Zombies dude there's going to be zombie apocalypse after there.
[00:44:34] There's animals you have to shoot to eat.
[00:44:39] Not how many fucking wild boars there are in Texas.
[00:44:47] You could eat a boar that boars are like taste like go to any bodega in New York all of
[00:44:53] It's made just from the head of the board.
[00:44:54] The rest of the board goes to the rest of the 48 states.
[00:44:59] So even Boars head turkey is from the head of a boar.
[00:45:09] That's pig that's made to taste like turkey.
[00:45:15] Okay I love that shit where they're like I coated my bullets and bacon fats to send
[00:45:26] Right because you know how to show them.
[00:45:27] You have to believe in that shit to begin with.
[00:45:33] Why don't you just coat the bullets and shit.
[00:45:39] To shoot whoever because then they have shit bullet in them which is worse than going
[00:45:47] If I were Muslim I don't think I would mind going to hell on a technicality.
[00:46:05] Do you know where a charcuterie comes from?
[00:46:08] You know the whole practice of making a bunch of bacon.
[00:46:10] That's when you try to cuterie but you actually shake yourself.
[00:46:18] They like Jews were hiding out pretending to be Catholics so they made all these different
[00:46:23] types of pork product like different types of bacon.
[00:46:27] They would pass them around church and then watch for people to like make a weird face.
[00:46:38] Yeah in the Sino-Japanese war they would detect spies by feeding them rice and seeing how they
[00:46:45] ate rice because Japanese rice is like stickier so they don't have to like stick their face
[00:46:52] So if you didn't have your bowl all the way up to their face.
[00:46:54] Oh that's why some people just didn't have that weird hunched over shit.
[00:47:05] So Corpus Christia seems like that's got the worst of the storm.
[00:47:19] Have you ever been to the coast in Texas?
[00:47:23] I did a show there with Lucas and Bryson and we stayed.
[00:47:26] We all had to share like a motel six room.
[00:47:31] I remember like just sleeping on the floor and like getting completely drunk off like
[00:47:35] margaritas the night before and having then having like drive back like whatever four
[00:47:43] I don't know how like I think I would die if I tried to do that now.
[00:47:50] Like just deal with those levels of hanging.
[00:47:51] I mean you still fucking drink all the time.
[00:47:54] And you're 30 now isn't it like painful.
[00:47:59] I was shitting blood for a while but I mean the thing is Nick it's worth it.
[00:48:04] My life hasn't gotten any better except you know financially and career wise since I
[00:48:11] And I mean that seriously I know that sounds like a sarcastic one.
[00:48:17] There's nothing there's I've said before but there is no better feeling in the world
[00:48:21] than when you first fall off the wagon.
[00:48:24] That first 30 minutes of being drunk again.
[00:48:32] I forgot that you could feel this good all the time.
[00:48:40] It was like I was like I'm not going to go out.
[00:48:41] It was like two in the morning and Eli you texted me and he goes I'm at the Cobra Club
[00:48:46] And I was like I haven't even had like a drink like all night like this is going to be dumb
[00:48:50] maybe you have buzz on and so I went to the he's like no come on I'll buy you a drink
[00:48:55] I go to the bar and he fucking made the bartender make a thing called a catch up which was like
[00:49:01] I can't keep it like I don't like catch up but it was just like a pint glass like Bacardi
[00:49:06] I drank it at like three in the morning.
[00:49:08] I had the worst hangover I had my fucking life like beyond like hours of drinking and
[00:49:14] It was insane but that's kind of fun too because like you never know what it's going to feel
[00:49:19] It's like a fun you know random spin in the wheel.
[00:49:22] When Joe Statz was making all those like he's making his own pickle juice in the microwave
[00:49:27] so that he could like do pickle back shots or whatever.
[00:49:31] We had one night where I was already like trash that was already really drunk but it like
[00:49:41] Two of us drank like a fifth of whiskey.
[00:49:53] And blacked out immediately fucking blacked out.
[00:49:56] I woke up in my apartment the next day like on the coffee table and fucking it was like
[00:50:03] noon or like maybe almost like 1 p.m. and I woke up and like you know when you're still
[00:50:14] I'm still like completely drunk out of my mind.
[00:50:19] Oh I've gotten that after like sleeping for like nine hours.
[00:50:21] I don't even feel hungover because I'm still so drunk.
[00:50:25] You got to just keep drinking at that point.
[00:50:34] What's the spring break spot on the elevator?
[00:50:39] The elevator water burger in Corpus Christi.
[00:50:47] Which to be honest I think they should tear it down.
[00:50:53] You know what I want to do is go loudly protest the removal of the Richard E. Lee statue.
[00:51:00] Where you just don't even know his name and you're mad about it.
[00:51:04] How dare you take down Richard Arley Ermey's statue.
[00:51:26] This is the best thing that happened to Corpus.
[00:51:30] It's not like they were gonna get the Olympics.
[00:51:34] Who's the guy I'm shitting on for one reason and none.
[00:51:38] Not even a obscure fucking sniper shot to some really specific scene in Houston while they're
[00:51:50] Not a particularly bad comic or anything.
[00:51:52] It's the only Houston comic I could think of.
[00:51:54] It is really funny that insult somebody.
[00:52:01] Speaking of the Olympics, did Tara Lipinski ever do porn?
[00:52:04] Because I remember she always had such a porny looking face.
[00:52:19] Yeah, you would fuck or abuse in some way.
[00:52:27] I think she lived in, I had to look it up.
[00:52:29] I thought she was from Corpus when I wrote this down and then I looked it up.
[00:52:33] She's from Pennsylvania, but she lived in Sugarland, Texas.
[00:52:41] The youngest figure skating Olympic champion from the US in history.
[00:52:47] See, Nick's really into two sports, powerlifting and female figure skating.
[00:52:53] Well, it would be gay if I was into male figures.
[00:52:55] Yeah, he wasn't clarifying it's not male figures skating.
[00:52:59] Um, yeah, Tara Lipinski, would you fuck an Olympic gymnast, fellas?
[00:53:05] And they don't have periods, so you can come in them.
[00:53:12] So- Because they're, they get so fucking- They can't get pregnant?
[00:53:14] They get so strong, they stop ovulating.
[00:53:20] The picture of the girl, whatever her name is, the really, really good one from my last
[00:53:26] No, by the way, I was trying to trick you in the saying yes.
[00:53:34] And then I would say, you know, they're basically children.
[00:53:37] They're tiny and jacked in like 18 years old or whatever.
[00:53:42] Women that do sports stop having periods because it's unnatural for them to do anything besides,
[00:54:14] A cool Olympics couple is one of those gymnasts who have like the world's smallest pussy and
[00:54:19] then she dates one of those guys that does the ski jump and then he just does his dick
[00:54:27] 200 feet in the air and lands dick first and the world's smallest pussy.
[00:54:31] The amount of like, you know, artillery commander level positioning and, you know, a trajectory
[00:54:50] I remember watching it as like a kid and I was like, that doesn't make sense that that
[00:54:54] There's a jump like 4,000 feet in the air and not die.
[00:54:58] And I'm like, maybe I was just remembering it wrong because I was a kid and then you
[00:55:01] watch as an adult and it's like, no, that man is hundreds of feet that they're jumping
[00:55:08] It's also like the boogiest dumbest like extreme sports shit.
[00:55:16] It's not like you can't even nail it to like the-
[00:55:18] I'd like to see if I had the courage to do it.
[00:55:23] You watch a GoPro video of like somebody going down one of those-
[00:55:29] It's like a roller coaster that you know just goes off the rails.
[00:55:38] But like, why don't we just keep getting more weird then?
[00:55:41] Because like, I was watching a bunch of YouTube clips like this guys do that squirrel
[00:55:43] suit shit or they just jump off the side of the flip shit and just fly with a squirrel
[00:55:50] You know, I mean like why not make it- if we're making up dumb shit for the Olympics,
[00:55:54] like that should be what we're watching.
[00:55:59] Remember back in the 90s when the letter X was still bad out?
[00:56:02] Yeah, and everything had to be green neon green and like everything clothes were too
[00:56:07] I remember being a kid and thinking like, I don't understand how anything could look
[00:56:16] I'm like, I don't know where we go from here.
[00:56:18] The rumor already has like, brief tips and Oakley end of the history.
[00:56:22] That's like, I know it will, but it has to just be regressive.
[00:56:25] Like, at what point are people going to want to dress like they did in the 60s where you
[00:56:30] wore shirts with like buttons on it that you had to tuck in?
[00:56:33] You know, I was like, no, everything needs to be basketball shorts and fucking-
[00:56:42] That's everyone wants to look like Tony Hawk forever.
[00:56:44] And then you just sort of turn it into a weird fat guy adult.
[00:57:02] Yeah, he's just like fucking his body out.
[00:57:08] Yeah, he's like pissed off after he lands it.
[00:57:12] I think it's just a hot-busting issue in the Olympics.
[00:57:15] There was a couple, the Kazakhstan weightlifters all had their metals retroactive-
[00:57:22] Stripped because they went back and pissed tested them.
[00:57:26] But if there was a steroid that just made your dick bigger.
[00:57:33] Keep in mind everyone's wearing singlets.
[00:57:36] But it makes your dick look bigger so it's more intimidating to the other.
[00:57:40] So, Conor McGregor at the weigh-in yesterday was just wearing underpants.
[00:57:47] But he was definitely like sort of rubbing it-
[00:57:51] He was definitely rubbing it a little bit like right out of Floyd.
[00:57:55] He was like just swinging his big Irish plumber dick at Floyd.
[00:58:15] We're going to do a fight preview predictions.
[00:58:17] We're televising it live here at Comtown Central.
[00:58:23] The only reason I'm interested in watching the fight is because I know this is-
[00:58:27] You know, we've had some race war stuff last couple of weeks.
[00:58:29] I just want to make my spinach dip and have people come over and enjoy my spinach dip
[00:58:45] It just feels- because I got fat in Los Angeles and I want to get back in shape.
[00:58:51] It's not like a deeply pathological thing or anything.
[00:58:52] I mean, what isn't a deeply pathological thing?
[00:58:57] He got in shape because he doesn't like himself.
[00:58:59] It's like you're a fucking alcoholic who spends half his life in jail.
[00:59:08] I mean, it's like you're just being critical about a guy that looks better than you.
[00:59:13] Maybe that's a pathological thing is that you don't like people that are beautiful because
[00:59:16] you're ugly and the only way you can deal with it is by all of you.
[00:59:22] It's true some sort of bullshit criticism.
[00:59:24] I'm just- Everybody wants to be better than they are.
[00:59:31] Before he got arrested for fucking drinking at a game stop or whatever.
[00:59:37] Yes, while high on fucking whatever gas station cough medicine you were doing.
[00:59:44] Well, we just saw it was Jake used something called psychoanalysis, which is this-
[00:59:50] I've been friends with my friends for a long time.
[00:59:52] The system developed by the Jews, the border to-
[00:59:58] I'm just trying to take care of myself after I fucked myself up beating nothing but like,
[01:00:04] It's not like I'm a fucking bodybuilder.
[01:00:10] And then once that happens, I will crush every one of these open bodies.
[01:00:24] I will go there and crush their skulls.
[01:00:27] Back to the hot take minute headlines, transgender military ban.
[01:00:37] It's bad because it means black people can go to Whole Foods now.
[01:00:41] Side discussion, what would a Whole Foods for black people look like?
[01:00:45] Jamil had a really good joke about that.
[01:00:50] I'm going to sit out on this conversation so I don't steal his joke.
[01:00:54] A bunch of flaming hot Cheetos and orange soda.
[01:00:57] And if you don't have orange soda, Sprite.
[01:01:05] It's funny when you hold the phone away from your head and you call.
[01:01:12] And I would pick up the phone and be like, just Domino's and I'd be like, extra large
[01:01:19] And then I would just go to the ring up and then cash or whatever.
[01:01:25] And then just wait and then take the order.
[01:01:27] And then of course it would be exactly that.
[01:01:31] Yeah, I mean, did you guys ever used to think Sprite was the healthy soda?
[01:01:38] When they had that commercial with like Kobe doing double unders and fucking like, you
[01:01:43] know, like doing a lat pull downs and fucking like seven o'clock in the morning.
[01:01:49] And then running up down stadium steps and it's like quench your thirst.
[01:01:52] And it's like, wow, that's what Kobe drinks while he's exercising.
[01:01:56] I really, I really used to love those Kobe Sprite commercials.
[01:02:01] I still have a Kobe Sprite can in my parents house.
[01:02:07] Yeah, I'm a big, no, I didn't even drink.
[01:02:14] Have you ever tried to put the can up your ass?
[01:02:23] A lot of great eclipse jokes on social media, guys.
[01:02:28] A lot of people posting a Mitsubishi eclipse.
[01:02:41] It was like the day that was happening, I was like, we should all just log off because
[01:02:44] we're all just going to do the same shit.
[01:02:45] The one I wanted to do, but I don't have Photoshop on my new computer is to the sun
[01:02:57] And then you see the moon coming by and it's super imposed on it.
[01:03:01] Is a man's ass back in his lower back and his legs.
[01:03:06] So the moon is going in front of the baby's face.
[01:03:09] And lying that it's a man getting his dick sucked by the baby's son.
[01:03:12] Yeah, I think Paul of Tomkins did exactly that.
[01:03:16] Yeah, as a man's ass implying that the baby's dick was faggot Tomkins.
[01:03:40] Wait, there's time for the Wall Street minute here on content.
[01:03:43] I thought that they're going to make Whole Foods like deliver part of Amazon now.
[01:03:48] What happened to the drones that were supposed to bring shit to them?
[01:03:51] Yeah, they talked about that like fucking six years ago.
[01:03:53] I think someone had sex with one of the drones.
[01:03:55] He created like a new AIDS, an antibiotic AIDS.
[01:04:04] What animal would be a koala if you get a hossey AIDS?
[01:04:08] This dick sucked by a giraffe from like 20 feet away.
[01:04:14] This is my, because you know, it's just a hypothesis that someone had sex with an
[01:04:19] Really the probable answer is that someone was eating bush meat and that's how they
[01:04:28] It was a woman that didn't shave her pussy and that's what causes AIDS.
[01:04:35] Yeah, get back in the kitchen, stop having sex.
[01:04:43] Use your pussy to make food that is fully cooked.
[01:04:46] It was a woman that cooked an ape in her pussy.
[01:04:53] It was a woman made chimp ribs inside of her unshaved vagina, which, you know, she
[01:05:01] God said that's in that's one of the first words in the Bible.
[01:05:05] He said, and the Lord said, let there be light and then there was light and then he said,
[01:05:11] don't make chimp ribs in your pussy, especially if it's unshaved.
[01:05:25] Did you ever think that that snake was a was like a cool black guy?
[01:05:32] Yeah, I kind of, I thought you spoke a kind of a little bit.
[01:05:41] That's why I was wondering that in veggie tales because it's supposed to be Bible stories.
[01:05:45] So like Adam and Eve, the forbidden fruit would just be like a friend of theirs that
[01:05:55] I don't understand the appeal of those shows.
[01:05:56] They take, what if we take one thing that sucks and combine it with another thing that's
[01:06:22] They're really trying to take over just the whole industry, right?
[01:06:32] Well, no, but like Amazon is trying to like in the same way that like Netflix is trying
[01:06:36] to just be like, like they're buying weights and what shit to try to like establish themselves
[01:06:47] Can I tell you guys Adam's deal corner for a second?
[01:06:49] I want to go on Shark Tank and just bring like a portrait of my rich father.
[01:06:56] He has millions of dollars and he gives it to me.
[01:07:01] And then the black guy, I forget his name.
[01:07:04] I think he owns like a series of steak houses.
[01:07:17] Damon John from Shark Tank is Andre's steak house personified.
[01:07:35] I thought that was like a cool name that people gave to it.
[01:07:39] I thought it was actually because I graduated 2005 from high school.
[01:07:43] So we were like, yo, we're the Fubu class.
[01:07:50] No, it actually does stand for for us bias.
[01:08:00] Well, do you remember that joke from how high?
[01:08:24] I'm seeing starter jackets used to be like real hot 20 years ago and then starters a
[01:08:28] brand kind of declined and then they were just like Walmart's in house brand.
[01:08:32] So you could get starter jackets and like starter shoes and starter shit for like, like
[01:08:37] starter sneakers about $10 a pair or four years ago, but the size are work.
[01:08:42] Yeah, but urban outfitters is now selling starter shit and champion shit.
[01:08:47] So becoming like champion is like hype beast now.
[01:08:49] Yeah, which is funny because it's garbage.
[01:08:56] If you want to get before the winter start, even tell you something.
[01:08:59] If you're right, if you're right on, you're on a crew and it's not Nike, get the fuck
[01:09:06] You weren't a Russell athletic or a champion crew.
[01:09:11] Both of them, both of them are fucking shit.
[01:09:16] I wear Everlast, which is the good cheap brand Everlast crew next would be some sort of boxing
[01:09:25] I'll box your ears all the way out of your asshole.
[01:09:37] That's what I'm doing with my new shorts and my body building lifestyle.
[01:09:42] You're using the little cows and you squeeze and then like a little turd comes out of
[01:09:50] You can pick up a squirrel, squeeze it and stuff them out of it's ass and mouth.
[01:09:54] I got, squeeze it really hard and then it'll start shitting.
[01:09:57] I found that with like lots of different.
[01:09:59] You catch a bird and you squeeze it really well.
[01:10:04] What was that thing where Nick as you torture animals?
[01:10:12] Like when you were a child you'd like find small animals.
[01:10:21] I don't want to get too psychoanalytical.
[01:10:25] But I think that that says something about you that when you were a child used to capture
[01:10:30] small animals and torture them, I think that that says that you have certain personality
[01:10:37] I mean, categorically, if you look at people that do the sorts of things in body built by
[01:10:43] hurting animals, bench pressing cats into a super band.
[01:11:09] That's the joke at the end of the show is he said self improvement and then I said home
[01:11:13] The first no-stop episode, I think it went pretty smooth.
[01:11:15] I'm going to do tighter notes next time.
[01:11:17] That's the note I got for myself on this.
[01:11:22] Let me know if you did something else you want out of it.
[01:11:25] You know, you want to tell me how the show should work.
[01:11:30] It'll go to the message request folder and I'll never see it.