[00:00:00] So what we're doing is we're waiting on some surge order by Amber on Amazon to

[00:00:10] become cold in the freezer. What is surge is like Mountain Dew? Shout out.

[00:00:15] What is it? Just wait. Okay. Just fucking wait please. What is this? It was 10

[00:00:21] seconds before you started interjecting. I just asked what it is. Well we'll get to

[00:00:27] that. Okay. I'm tempted to just restart the whole fucking episode. Why you want

[00:00:33] to restart the whole episode? I don't understand why you can't just let me

[00:00:36] say something without energy. Of course I'm going to explain what surge is.

[00:00:40] All right. Yeah. All right. It's a soda. Surge is a soda that was popular in the

[00:00:45] 1990s with fat kids and and normal children alike. Okay. It was a big at the

[00:00:52] pool. I remember seeing a surge vending machine at the pool and... Yeah but

[00:00:56] with taking it myself. Wow. This is the future we're living in. You know? It's

[00:01:02] not gone in the days of boring bullshit sodas like Coca-Cola and Pepsi. This

[00:01:06] shit's green. It's exploding. Everything's loud. Everything in the late 90s when I

[00:01:12] was an eight-year-old boy. If you weren't fucking screaming at the top of your

[00:01:17] lungs all the time you were fucking dead. Yeah. That's how you knew you were alive.

[00:01:20] And then things got so extreme that the Slim Jim guy flew a fucking plane into

[00:01:26] the Twin Towers and that's how the 90s ended. Macha Man Randy Savage. Nope.

[00:01:31] Different Slim Jim guy but he also died in a crash. She had a heart attack

[00:01:34] driving his no-door Jeep Wrangler and smashed it into a fucking tree. So it's

[00:01:40] one. I love that you know it's hard exploded to Wrangler. The best that's the

[00:01:47] best bro car because it's not safe at all. There's no doors. There's no doors.

[00:01:51] It's like you're driving a roller coaster without the like the sides on it.

[00:01:54] Why didn't they sort of turn like a Coleman camping tent and put a fucking

[00:01:59] engine in and that's what a Jeep Wrangler is. It's for delivering the mail,

[00:02:04] fighting the Nazis. Yeah. And then you know on your way to date rape girls.

[00:02:11] Right. Driving around in a tank top with other dudes. Yeah. It's a cool

[00:02:17] car for guys whose only sense of humor is sarcastically dismissing

[00:02:21] everything that anyone else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool that you said that.

[00:02:25] Actually yeah totally. Actually it's not. Psych. So one of those dudes. That's

[00:02:31] what is Serge taste like though. You still haven't. It's a first of all you

[00:02:37] know. I don't think I've ever had one. You've never had a surge? No. I've had

[00:02:42] vanilla Coke. Did you not drink soda growing up? I wasn't I wasn't much of a

[00:02:46] soda drink. You grew up in a bitch household. Yeah. No soda household. Yeah.

[00:02:50] Like that's really cool. I remember being excited about it. Wait what does it

[00:02:56] taste like? I mean it's like a lemon line. Okay that's all I asked. No here's a

[00:03:00] little bit of history. I don't know if it's accurate or not. This is just based on

[00:03:03] my experiences as a soda man. So Serge was hugely popular. They got rid of

[00:03:12] Serge for some reason and went away. People were like what the fuck happened to

[00:03:16] Serge? This is before the Internet. I mean there was the Internet back then but

[00:03:19] it was all child porn and model train websites. Yeah. And so a lot of the guys

[00:03:24] on the model train and porn and child porn websites they were like what happened

[00:03:27] to Serge? And Pepsi was like oh we just lost our biggest fan base is you know

[00:03:33] petaphone. Guys that fuck kids and and make tiny planes. So they they made vault I

[00:03:40] think was the replacement for Serge which actually was a lot better than Serge.

[00:03:44] We've ever had vault. That was a great soda. No. Then they got rid of that too.

[00:03:48] And then all of these remember the 90s retards complained about Serge not

[00:03:53] being around anymore. So they brought it back on Amazon. So you can get Serge on

[00:03:58] Amazon now. They only sell it in tall boy size. Cool. So they encourage you to

[00:04:04] drink too much soda. Yeah. Which is makes sense to me you know I think like if

[00:04:11] you're gonna smoke a cigarette you know you know one of those pussy filtered

[00:04:14] yeah you want 100 unfiltered 100 unfiltered I take a Newport 100 and I

[00:04:20] cut the filter out. You ever know one of those idiots? Yeah. Yeah those guys are

[00:04:24] the best. Yeah dog I love dying. Well it's not I'm trying to get cancer.

[00:04:29] Cigarette means like small cigar. So just smoke a cigar if a cigarette isn't

[00:04:33] enough for you. Like why are you trying to jack back up the cigarette to cigar

[00:04:38] love it. You can't inhale cigars though. It's too harsh. Yeah. That's funny when

[00:04:42] people don't know that and they think you're just supposed to smoke a fucking

[00:04:45] cigar. I mean that happens to everyone the first time they smoke a cigar. Yeah

[00:04:49] anyways we got the surge coolin up in the freezer. We got another three minutes on

[00:04:54] it. Everyone thought that it lowered your sperm count. Yeah also it is. I'm like

[00:05:00] 10 year old to be like oh no man my sperm because I'm fucking all the time.

[00:05:05] Yeah all of my sperm to have another 10 year old boy to be my friend. And then I

[00:05:11] don't have to hang out with with my Nintendo. I can have my own boy to myself

[00:05:16] but the surge is ruining my cum. Yeah my my childish cum. But I had one of the

[00:05:23] surges already. Obviously I can't I can't have the surge because it's all sugar but

[00:05:28] the I had one in upstate New York a year ago. I thought I didn't know that

[00:05:34] they brought surge back. So I went into a store and they had a can of surge and I

[00:05:39] was like can you I can't believe this shit they brought surge back and I

[00:05:43] sent pictures of it to people and I had the surge with a Reese's peanut

[00:05:48] buttercup and then it was like this is just disgusting. Yeah there's no. Did you

[00:05:53] feel like you had to take a nap afterwards? No it just tasted like shit and it

[00:05:57] tastes you know it's just candy and you know what I prefer now as an adult is a

[00:06:03] nice. The thing that that shit rules as a kid because you haven't done heroin

[00:06:07] yet. Yeah you know and then once you do heroin fuck a sperm count you know just

[00:06:13] do heroin. You don't need some fuck. I don't need surge. Yeah I needed some nice

[00:06:17] you know horse. Yeah yeah some fucking smack. That's a good shit. That dinosaur.

[00:06:24] Should we do a heroin episode of the Outbone? We should all get sprung.

[00:06:29] Okay, Cowboys 3 we accidentally do heroin. I tell you what dude I got some heroin in

[00:06:34] the freezer cooling down for me and Jake. 90s heroin. Not heroin off the internet.

[00:06:38] Is that a thing? 90s here we're gonna sit around we're gonna play Pokemon on

[00:06:42] our Game Boy Bigs. I just if I ask Game Boys we're gonna do heroin it's gonna be

[00:06:47] just like being eight years old. I watched that heroin movie last week the Al

[00:06:52] Pachino Needle Park movie. Have you seen that movie? Yeah I've watched I've seen it.

[00:06:59] The panic I turned it off after about three quarters of the way through. Yeah it's

[00:07:03] it's not very plot driven it's just they just do a lot of heroin. Yeah Brian

[00:07:08] Park used to be fucked up dude. It's weird as the upper west side. Brian Park

[00:07:13] used it's funny you go there now and it's like a nice live. 70s second and

[00:07:16] broader like they have like the Sony Expo where Fat Torres can try on a

[00:07:21] PlayStation VR and you know they have these like events there and that used to

[00:07:25] be like I mean all the parks in New York City used to be a fucking nightmare.

[00:07:29] That's we got to get back to that. How do we get back to cool New York? I feel like

[00:07:33] if I got like a girlfriend that convinced me to start doing heroin that's

[00:07:38] the only way. I live right next to a park and they people get murdered there

[00:07:42] sometimes. Von King? Yeah there was a murder there last year. That's where I

[00:07:45] take my dog dude. Yeah there was a there was a couple of murders. Really at the

[00:07:49] dog run? I hopefully it's you know my friend told me he was at the dog run at

[00:07:54] Von King with his dog and he saw a pit bull in a wife beater. That seems

[00:08:03] like a story you would make up. My friend made that story. Yeah that idea

[00:08:07] fictionalizing that story. Oh shut the fuck up. You make up stories. What story

[00:08:13] do I make up? Every time dude there's always there's got to be he does that

[00:08:16] thing Chris does you know. He's like on the bus and he sees a guy who like you

[00:08:21] know we had half and a half around Chris is like yeah and all I'm coming out of

[00:08:24] his head. You know. Sure. Oh yeah. What is that? How is that analogous with an arm

[00:08:31] coming out of bed? You're getting upset because I'm calling you a liar. Yes and

[00:08:35] a fraud. Which you are but you have to understand in other cultures that's like

[00:08:40] that just makes you a good storyteller like if we were sitting around some doodoo

[00:08:43] hut in the middle of Africa people be like you got it Adam he can talk to God

[00:08:47] he has all these great stories and he comes up with with his beautiful mind

[00:08:52] you know and you'd have some kind of headdress or whatever but in America

[00:08:57] you're just a liar which is fine and I'm trying to be more you know multicultural

[00:09:02] that's a mean compliment appreciating you. You're giving me a mean compliment right

[00:09:07] now. As the Waziri of our is that a Nigerian rank? No Waziri. No Waziri was the

[00:09:17] name of a Ziri was the name of an African guy in a movie I watched one time.

[00:09:21] Ziri is the name of a soda from the 90s. Hell yeah. Got discontinued. I'm about to drink.

[00:09:27] Now what is Waziri? What does that taste like? You're such a fucking asshole.

[00:09:31] I'm not an asshole. You're an asshole. Yeah you saw a people wearing a fucking wife

[00:09:35] be my friend Dion's up hit people. Yeah my friend Dion quote unquote. Sure Adams

[00:09:42] black friend. We all didn't know from Jewish summer camp. No no. His dear friend Dion

[00:09:50] you piece of Dion. Let's hear about lifting weights. Let's let's let's talk

[00:09:57] about what you want to talk about constantly about different positions

[00:10:01] that you could lift weights in. Yeah I was doing a squatting position that

[00:10:06] enhances your breasts. I'm doing breast pushups. I'm doing natural.

[00:10:11] If you look at the show map that's not happening for another 30. Oh fuck the list.

[00:10:15] That's what we're talking about. That's in B block. Jesus Christ. You know what's funny

[00:10:21] about this is you also try to lift weights. You're just very bad at it. I didn't try

[00:10:26] to lift. Period where some Italian man was softly caressing your body teaching you how

[00:10:32] to deadlift because you know what's it softly caressing my body. You have no hit

[00:10:35] mode helping me with positive reinforcement and that's actually what I

[00:10:38] respond to most. Not people saying that I'm a fraud in the style of some sort of

[00:10:43] African. It was not a compliment. It was a compliment. Oh fuck off. First of all

[00:10:47] you're from Africa. You're from Africa. Stop would be a green with me you fucking

[00:10:52] retard. Yes sure. You think he's fine. You're right. You're like we got to stop

[00:10:57] being mean to Adam. No he is no spine you're absolutely right.

[00:11:00] Is that what he doesn't have his spine. No he has no. Well it's the he's just

[00:11:04] covered in fat. Yeah stop. Stop is actually originally six foot seven but his

[00:11:09] body decalcified and consumed his spine to make way for more. Yeah for more

[00:11:16] wins. All of his all the cartilage in his body has been eaten as a as a means of

[00:11:22] sustenance. I wonder what his bones look like. Sometimes I look at him and I just

[00:11:26] imagine his skeleton while we're talking and it's in a very cartoon way

[00:11:30] where it starts just an inch below the surface of his skin. Oh yeah you know.

[00:11:35] He's got his face layers. Yeah his skeleton just looks like Pete Goofy's

[00:11:40] friend. Yeah but Pete was massive at least you can sell that kind of body type if

[00:11:47] you're like six five. Yeah feel like a Samoan guy you could like you look cool

[00:11:51] that way. Was Pete massive? Yeah he was a Samoan cat. He was a big Samoan cat or a dog.

[00:11:56] Oh maybe he was a dog. I know I could never tell because I feel like Pete was a

[00:12:01] cat but then the son was a dog. Pete's son. Yeah yeah he would like tell Goofy

[00:12:06] how to how to be a bit more like a disciplinarian. Yeah speaking of stop not

[00:12:12] being here. Thank God he was not in on that drywall job. Oh yeah he wanted to

[00:12:17] turn it into one of his gay photos. It would have been a gay photo shoot.

[00:12:21] There'd been a bunch of candy wrappers stuck in the wall. I was trying.

[00:12:25] I know you many with just carks.

[00:12:28] Carts you're going to smash through the wall like the Kool-Aid man. That somebody

[00:12:31] suggested that that's how we destroy the wall. Yeah that would have been fun.

[00:12:37] Fatly do his Kool-Aid man impression. Yeah I'm gonna get that surge real quick

[00:12:42] for Jake. You guys can talk for a second. I feel like you guys haven't had your own

[00:12:45] cross talk this entire time. Oh yeah. It's been a rather combative podcast.

[00:12:49] It's always combative. It's always combative. You got a compound baby. You got a

[00:12:52] comb with your brass. You got a comb with your lead pipes because you're

[00:12:56] coming for a street fight. You got to come with all those tools that Adam

[00:12:59] doesn't know how to use. Alright I just wasn't sure where I should jump in. Like if

[00:13:04] I should just really defend me. That's what you should do. That wasn't what you

[00:13:08] should use. That wasn't my inclination at all. I was more like do I jump in on

[00:13:12] top of Adam is that too mean? No what you should do. Yes it is too mean and what

[00:13:16] you should do is use your yours of knowledge. My yours of knowledge.

[00:13:21] On you know Nick's. Check that out. Let him let him let him Adam feel this can.

[00:13:27] That's perfectly chilled. But if there's one thing true I got me it's I know how

[00:13:32] to exactly chill a nice can of soda. Freezer chill of soda. Yeah. Flash chill. 30

[00:13:38] minutes on top of the ice cube tray fellas because cold air rises into the soda.

[00:13:44] With other national flavor. Let's see for one can which is one serving it's 56 grams

[00:13:50] of sugar. Oh yeah I thought we didn't want to hear about nutrition stuff Adam

[00:13:57] that that was boring quote unquote something about breast development. Yeah

[00:14:01] you do breast pushups. I don't do I don't know. Oh I'm so tired dude I can't do a

[00:14:06] set at the show tonight I've been doing breast pushups all day. What is it?

[00:14:10] Hands up. It's a thing that Adam thinks is a funny way. No you've been doing you've

[00:14:14] been trying to make your breasts larger with with heavy weights. I literally don't do

[00:14:21] any just sit here. That'd be cool if you had big tits though. Yeah it would be.

[00:14:25] Let me kick ass. What do you think that's not cool Adam? I don't think it's I had to

[00:14:30] get to do whatever he wants. Transphobic. That's not a transphobic. He's a transphobic person

[00:14:36] he doesn't like men with breasts. What do I say? Which in an African culture would be

[00:14:41] seen as what why? Yeah you have well. I'm trying to just view you in the context of

[00:14:48] your native African culture. Right. And that way seeing you as a liar and a

[00:14:53] cheat you're actually sort of this mystic looking which doctor figure in

[00:14:57] your native country. Speaking of me being a sort of a genderless you know bone

[00:15:02] through his nose. You know he's cooking down chicken feathers into some kind of

[00:15:07] potion to use on the local children. Which is fine. That's all fine. That's fine.

[00:15:13] Okay fine. But speaking of me being a cheat yeah Nick and I picked up a sofa

[00:15:18] yesterday. Oh we did. We got to talk about that so yeah we got to lay it on me.

[00:15:22] You got this sofa on Craigslist $500 it was $10,000 sofa. Mmm. They got for

[00:15:28] $500 from some rich lady. In Fort Green. In Fort Green or just you know this

[00:15:33] curbed giant Corella de Vil mansion you know Brownstone house. It was

[00:15:38] incredible. Yeah she's got just like a toy like a loose toilet in there. Yeah open

[00:15:44] floor open concept floor plan toilets. Yeah toilets sitting there but like a

[00:15:48] spiral staircase to floors. This is incredible. These big doors you need a

[00:15:52] special tool to unlock from the top. They're like they're like 15 foot doors.

[00:15:56] Yeah there was like 35 foot ceilings in there and she's just some rich white

[00:16:01] lady with like a very soft south Indian boyfriend. Was that our boyfriend or

[00:16:07] just a friend? I think I don't know. I don't know. I assume rich people don't

[00:16:12] really fuck or if they do they sort of just dryly plug their genitals into

[00:16:16] each other. I feel the opposite. I feel like they fuck real crazy. Yeah I don't

[00:16:20] think. And fucking is free fun for poor people. Rich people are too weird and

[00:16:25] erotic to really enjoy. Rich people do dumb shit like sell a $10,000 couch for

[00:16:30] 500 bucks on Craigslist. I think I'm gonna sell it like that. Yeah it's too big. Yeah

[00:16:35] that you know what I'm gonna sell it for a profit Nick. And there's nothing you

[00:16:39] could do about it. Why would I give a shit about you selling something for a

[00:16:43] problem? The geelish inflection he just used to us to imply the stinginess right?

[00:16:48] Thank you. That's not stinginess. That's good business. Thank you. I am good a

[00:16:52] business. Stinginess would be you're not allowed to sit on my couch. Excuse me it's

[00:16:57] $10 to sit on the couch because it's lowering the value of it every time you

[00:17:01] sit on it. That's annoying behavior. Being big in a smart play that's what I'm

[00:17:08] concerned with. Anytime I see any deal I say what's the play here? What's the

[00:17:11] play? What's the smart money? What's the smart money on? What's the smart money on

[00:17:15] the couch? And the couch is that rich lady who's getting you know her V

[00:17:19] softly. I did have sort of a fantasy. I like went to check out the couch and she

[00:17:26] took Indian man with very smooth soft silky arm hair and tits. Just breasts

[00:17:32] trying gold-titted soft arm hair. It was from being vegetarian that's why they

[00:17:40] all they're all like that. They don't eat yeah they get all the

[00:17:45] estrogen from all the you know I guess like tofu. The joyalies they you know

[00:17:49] they eat children's pants. That's a traditional. Yeah you're doing dandelions

[00:17:58] and fucking packing peanuts as part of their you know cultural whatever.

[00:18:02] Oh yeah when I went over though and she opened up you know she had that

[00:18:07] completely empty rich amazing apartment on for Green Park. She walked me

[00:18:12] through and then she led me up the spiral staircase and the only thing in the

[00:18:15] apartment was that couch. I really was hoping like that she would rate me right

[00:18:22] there. Adam thinks that every woman wants to have sex with him. I don't think that

[00:18:27] every woman wants to have sex with me. I think that there is a vibe thing that

[00:18:30] is discernible with some women. He's like that he's like that guy what

[00:18:34] women want you know. Mel Gibson. Yeah the only thing women think is that they

[00:18:39] want to fuck Mel Gibson. Oh that movie about that skits a

[00:18:42] Frinnick man. Yeah. You know it's funny. I like that movie. I don't think it's that

[00:18:47] bad. You can hear Mel Gibson's thoughts and it's not just filled with racial

[00:18:50] vote. Yeah yeah. That would be a better movie. You know what I'm going to do I'm

[00:18:54] going to take a copy of what women want and I'm going to re-edit it and title

[00:18:59] it what Mel Gibson thinks. And we're just going to hear his internal monologue the

[00:19:04] whole movie. There's a fedora dance sequence in the middle of it where he's

[00:19:09] listening to Sinatra and doing like Showtime Showtime hat flips. Why would

[00:19:14] he press? Well we redo the scene where he's fucking that woman and she's saying

[00:19:17] that his dick is small in her head and he goes into the bathroom and he has to

[00:19:21] have like a pep talk to make his dick bigger and which sparks somehow. What's

[00:19:25] the movie he can hear women's thoughts? Yeah. He can make his dick bigger. Yeah

[00:19:30] yeah. What gypsy curse. I know that movie. The movie should be called the man who

[00:19:35] could make his dick bigger. That would be a better movie but no.

[00:19:41] Did you just redo that scene but it's like he's reading her thoughts and she's like

[00:19:45] this reminds me of how much better was that time I fucked a black guy and then

[00:19:50] he's like ah yeah. He goes into the bathroom and he's just screaming the

[00:19:54] n-word there. She's like are you all right and he comes back out and he's got

[00:19:58] like you know he's Frankensteined off some way you jumped out the window and

[00:20:03] assaulted some black homeless guy and he stitched his dick onto his. Yeah.

[00:20:08] Wow you could do that. That would be I could edit that scene into the movie.

[00:20:13] Wow. Using I move. That would be very funny. Yeah and it's still called what women want.

[00:20:20] They want they'll give soon with a black dick and he'll stole off a person

[00:20:25] or a perfect man. And then it's just a two hour rape. What women want.

[00:20:39] See that was very funny and not on your list. Let me just add that. Yeah I know

[00:20:44] the list is just there just in case you know we forget to talk about fitness

[00:20:48] or smart plays in the business world. Yeah speaking smart play. This is a

[00:20:53] perfect time to segment into our obligatory notes review. How do you guys

[00:20:56] feel about the notes so far. Are they good? Bad. I think the notes are I think if

[00:21:01] we did in the last episode I think we were two orthodox with the notes we just

[00:21:05] went but threw them one by one. I think the strength of come town is the free

[00:21:11] flowing. Well certainly not you we know that. But they hang on. Here's the thing

[00:21:16] on the notes that I want to talk about. The cops haven't shot anyone in a while

[00:21:20] and I can't think of a single instance in the Trump administration of unarmed

[00:21:25] black guy being shot by the police. Does that mean Donald Trump fix the

[00:21:28] problem. I think he fix the problem. No one's giving him credit for that. I mean

[00:21:33] we're we're almost like a year in now and there hasn't been a single Trayvon

[00:21:37] incident. Yep. Yeah. I haven't heard of one guy named Trayvon getting shot. Obama

[00:21:42] was dropping dudes. That's right. You know I mean he was just he said that

[00:21:48] every said he got we used with his home a David Clark. Yep. You know they're

[00:21:52] good friends. They're secret friends. Darren Wilson. Yeah. Boy. Darren Wilson

[00:21:57] well Darren Wilson's not our pie. Oh you know I've been thinking about a lot lately

[00:22:00] the beginning of the Drew Carey show except he's going our pie. Oh pie. Oh pie.

[00:22:05] Oh hi. That's pretty cool right. Yeah. I got it done here later but you know what

[00:22:10] I've been thinking about a lot in that sort of vein is you know the Anne

[00:22:14] Frank House. Yeah. Like Dean warmer from Animal House saying Anne Frank House

[00:22:19] like he says Animal House. Yeah. And Frank House. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. I'm

[00:22:27] putting you on double secret probation and that'd be a good movie right. And Frank

[00:22:33] House and it's about it for turn it in. Yeah. Yeah. A sorority and Frank. They're

[00:22:40] get busted by the Nazi because they're partying too. Yeah. Yeah. He's partying in the attic.

[00:22:44] Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how they got in trouble dude. They were like they're just

[00:22:50] like they're doing too many bongs. Yeah. Just doing just ripping bangers and like

[00:22:56] fucking and stuff like Anne Frank goes up to a bunch of her friends and you know

[00:23:00] the labor camp she's in and she's got a bunch of Zeklon beard her mouth and she

[00:23:05] goes look I'm a human sit and then she just sprays the poor. Oh yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:09] All over their face. That's cool. I don't remember much else from Animal House other

[00:23:14] than the human's it bit and there's a parade thing at the end. I don't know but that

[00:23:18] movie has combined with revenge of the nerds in my head. It's the same shit. Being like

[00:23:22] my entire understanding of what college is. There was like a maybe a five minute period

[00:23:27] where I was like I want to go to college and it was immediately after viewing those two

[00:23:31] movies. Yeah it's true. And then never again. Well American colleges, nerds, rule. Everyone

[00:23:38] knows that. The thing that happens is you think that all that shit's awesome and then

[00:23:41] you turn like 14 and 15 and you're like oh I can just drink and do all that shit now.

[00:23:46] Yeah you don't have to go to college. Do that. For some reason I like really believed

[00:23:51] in like the hazing like I thought they just raped you the first day you got to college.

[00:23:55] That's there was a story I just read about that in West Texas. All these boys are being

[00:24:00] raped by the football team. Which does that come up in Friday night lights because I would

[00:24:04] start watching that show. It's not in there. Dude this story is hilarious. It's some bullshit

[00:24:09] like Texas has all these towns where the median income is like 2.8 million dollars a year.

[00:24:16] In West Texas? All over Texas. I think mostly around Dallas but it's like East Texas is

[00:24:21] the real fucked up part. What do you mean? Just like that's where like fighter is. Like

[00:24:25] like the racist yeah. But I'm talking about these towns in Texas where like they've been

[00:24:30] farmland forever and then in the last 20 years. Oil or something? Oil and tech and shit but

[00:24:38] then they just like decide to make a town you know and then it's a town that attracts

[00:24:42] like millionaires. And so it's like half ranch families and then half like multi-millionaires

[00:24:50] it just says. Why is it attracted millionaires? Because Texas is like there's no income tax

[00:24:55] from starters. And one day a year they don't let there's no police. Yeah they do a purge.

[00:25:00] Yeah that's cool. I would move there. Yeah I don't know I mean Texas is pretty cool. I

[00:25:06] like Texas. Everybody's dream down there is to make a shit ton of money and then just

[00:25:10] move off into like the desert and just like start a compound. Yeah like there's so much

[00:25:14] space down there and everyone's like so weird and like states right see that like that's

[00:25:19] just everyone just wants to be sitting like alone with guns just pointed in all directions

[00:25:24] and shit. Yeah are there more Mexican people in West Texas? You know you have enough property

[00:25:29] when you can take a probably a sniper rifle and fire in any direction from the middle

[00:25:34] of your property and not go to jail. Yeah that's how much property you should have. You might

[00:25:40] be white. Yeah might be white person. You you might be a retard. If you have an extra

[00:25:47] chromosome in your brain. My be retard. If you put another man's penis in your ass you

[00:26:02] might be a faggy. Jeff Foxworthy. Jeff says Fags worthy. How about that? Is it you probably

[00:26:14] says Fag right? Of course you are. All those guys that's like the subtle this is a subtext

[00:26:19] of their entire act. Are the big collar boys still going out there on the road? No they'll

[00:26:24] do their thing years ago. That a 10 years ago. Yeah Ron white still does shit sometimes.

[00:26:29] Yeah. Oh well anyhow we were saying yeah so there's these the football these football

[00:26:34] teams were like you know they always interview the moms too and the moms are the best interview

[00:26:40] because like a story about like her son not having like the school not providing the right

[00:26:46] years textbook. She delivers with the same tone as like my son was violently sodomized

[00:26:53] in the locker room. It's always that same level of concerned parent tone and you hear

[00:26:59] it more often than not with bullshit complaints. So no mom's like I'm sorry I just don't think

[00:27:04] my son should be sodomized by the just sounds like she doesn't give a shit because you don't

[00:27:11] give a shit about 90% of the things that that one complains about you know like I they shouldn't

[00:27:16] have pizza for lunch in the cafeteria. That's not a healthy choice. My son should be bent

[00:27:24] over a radiator and fucked by the assistant coach. I'm sorry that's just my personal opinion.

[00:27:31] Why is it always a radiator? What's that? All these rape stories it's always people getting

[00:27:37] bent over radiators. Because it's the perfect it's waist height. You think about what's

[00:27:42] in a basement you know an old box of clothes hangers? Not a bucket. No turn the bucket.

[00:27:48] That's too that's too short. A radiator is at waist height if you're going to get bent

[00:27:54] over something in a basement. It's either a radiator or one of those like horizontally

[00:28:01] positioned hot water heaters. That doesn't like flow. It doesn't you know fly off the

[00:28:07] tongue. Yeah rape on a hot water. It'd be an old ping pong table. Yeah you know the hood

[00:28:12] of it. There are a lot of things you can get bent over. The hood of it. Yeah yeah. It's

[00:28:16] like that song 50 Ways to rape. Yeah. It's a rape your lover. That being hot water music.

[00:28:23] That suck on a dick Rick. Over a table Mabel. Over a radiator. Joe Johnny Eder. Oh man.

[00:28:38] That's pretty fun. A lot of rape jokes this episode. I feel like that's not my fault.

[00:28:43] New York City Council elections are coming up. This is an article in New York Times today.

[00:28:49] They're still doing that. Yeah the local elections. Check out these people's names here. We got

[00:28:56] Helen Rosenthal. Yeah. Marjorie Velasquez Francisco Moya Carlos Mancaca and Keith Powers.

[00:29:06] The big dude. I know who I'm voting for. Is it Keith Powers? Of course. Look at that name.

[00:29:10] Look at that face. Look at this face man. Yeah I know he looks like he looks like brain

[00:29:15] from Pinky and brain. And he kind of looks like Pinky too a little bit. He looks like both of them.

[00:29:21] Yeah. So what I'm saying is this man looks like a rat. The weird balloon. What are they running

[00:29:27] for these people? I don't know. Dude one of those like positions the Sim City politician

[00:29:32] positions with the. Remember you play Sim City and they have the newspaper come up sometimes

[00:29:37] and you'll be like what the fuck I'm not reading. I feel like I'm trying to game. I feel like

[00:29:41] dude don't make me read news. Yeah I feel like game here. Like in Kingdom Hearts they make

[00:29:46] you get a job at the beginning of the game. You're like in the game and you have to go

[00:29:49] to work. I didn't play Kingdom Hearts. It's like Mickey Mouse. It's like what if what

[00:29:54] is final fantasy was even game? How do we get up final fantasy? Oh yeah we'll put Donald

[00:30:01] Duck in it. It's like the problem is it's cool as shit for like one level and then the next

[00:30:06] level you're just like you have to help Winnie the Pooh get like some honey out of a pot.

[00:30:11] You're like but I just fought a dragon and all this cool shit was happening and you can't

[00:30:15] get to more of the game. Yeah and it's like not violent because it's like baby characters.

[00:30:20] Yeah that's for babies. You know. You're a game for babies. There's a lot of sports games

[00:30:26] because I'm a jock. Yeah yeah. So we're going to talk about this article for a second.

[00:30:32] It has this tone and I didn't really read it. I skimmed through it while looking for shit

[00:30:36] to fill in the notes with is this idea that you know it says right here like oh is politicians

[00:30:43] in Washington slash budgets and break promises local governments are forced to pick up the

[00:30:48] pieces. I really don't like this idea that local politicians are somehow like oh you

[00:30:53] know those people are those are the heroes. Those are the people that actually work with

[00:30:57] you know individuals and they care about people. They're not the showmen like the big

[00:31:01] time politicians and it's like yes they are. They're just unsuccessful. Yeah but I feel

[00:31:05] like they're all trying to be the same kind of fucking. Yeah they want to be those guys.

[00:31:10] But it's bullshit. But I feel like the city like New York like Wyoming is like 500,000

[00:31:17] people like New York is like 8 million 9 million people. It's a huge job. It's a huge

[00:31:23] I mean like saying is we got to kill some of these people. Yeah I'm saying we need to

[00:31:27] get down to Wyoming size. No I mean like you know what I like to call it. Why? You know

[00:31:33] why? I mean like why. I actually it's very nice there. I bet it is. Yeah but yeah I mean

[00:31:41] it's crazy. You go out to the rockaways. Is that North Dakota? That's North Dakota. That's

[00:31:46] supposed to be real nice. That's a boom in town. That's like the cryptocurrency of town.

[00:31:50] Well that's because the gas the natural gas. Sounds like that. Yeah apparently like there's

[00:31:55] no women up there. Yeah. And rent is like for like a studio is like $5,000 a month. It's

[00:32:01] perfect for guys dude. No girls at all. No girls allowed. I'm going to go up there and

[00:32:07] make it David Barton Jim. Women making shits on the money going up there to strip apparently

[00:32:14] because these guys have like they get paid like in a lot of games. I was supposed to be

[00:32:18] like that. What? That's my future for America is that each state is its own identity. You

[00:32:24] know yeah every every identity gets its own state. What state do you think is going to

[00:32:30] be a California? Well I guess they're all all of them are going to fight for California.

[00:32:35] They're all going to want it. But gay white gay men will probably take California. You

[00:32:39] think white gay men are going to rename it David Barton Jim. And then it's going to

[00:32:43] they're going to turn the entire state into a giant locker room. It's going to be like

[00:32:48] two or three both waxes. That's the jam. That can really have. Yeah you tell me that yes

[00:32:56] or the the the idea of two male lovers on a Bowflex straddling what. So buddy and Jake

[00:33:05] used to live. You guys had a Bowflex. There's a Bowflex in the in the weight room before

[00:33:09] Joe got into lifting and made the management company spend thirty thousand dollars on personal

[00:33:15] work out. I was going to be funny if like your roommate goes out of time for the weekend

[00:33:21] and you just like he comes back and there's a Bowflex in the living room. Well that happened

[00:33:26] like yeah there was a Bowflex in the in the break room and Joe went in there one time

[00:33:30] and two of those like tiny Mexican guys were sharing it. The I think those are all Guatemalan

[00:33:36] dudes. Well okay. The ones that would like jack off of the computer. I met the editorial

[00:33:41] Mexican. All right the catch all. Yeah the large the large Mexican and large Guatemalan.

[00:33:47] I did see at Prospect Park a couple weeks ago. Yeah they were sharing it like they were on

[00:33:51] like a like a new. Yeah yeah. Like they were acrobats. Yeah like they were practicing

[00:33:57] showing back to Guatemala. These is how we will get home. I think the idea of like illegal

[00:34:05] immigrants that don't want to be here they accidentally got on the wrong truck and like

[00:34:09] wound up in America. Yeah like when you fall asleep on the train. Yeah. They think they're

[00:34:14] still in Mexico. Nobody speaks brand name in this part of Mexico. We were laughing the

[00:34:23] other day about those guys. It's like who's fucking these guys. Because they don't have

[00:34:28] sex. They've always got like the same like the Home Depot parking lot guys. They've always

[00:34:34] got the same like little portly like meek for like nine women who like yeah sweat suits

[00:34:43] dance like you know to fucking Tejano shit together at like restaurants and shit and then

[00:34:48] they have like kids by the time they're like 23. I have kids Matt Young. Yeah. No they've

[00:34:53] always got them. They never they're always way too shy to say anything around like any

[00:34:58] other people. They're always like I just work with a lot of these dudes and they're always

[00:35:01] waiting outside you know. To go off and do whatever the fuck they do after work. Those

[00:35:07] people have oddly like conservative lives. It's really fucking weird. Yeah they're all

[00:35:10] like Christian. Yeah. They're all like Catholic. Tiny Catholics. They're just fucking. Yeah.

[00:35:16] Los catos la sitas. Yeah. That's that's the words. Catos la sitas. Cacolates. Chicklets.

[00:35:23] Chicklets. They don't have cats. That's what work comes from. Yeah. Chicklets is tiny Catholics.

[00:35:29] Tiny Mexican Catholics. So they just have kids at 18 and they work for 40 years and then

[00:35:35] die. Yeah. Well I think the idea is you work and you make a bunch of money here and then

[00:35:39] you fucking bring it back home and the exchange rate makes you like kind of like loaded back

[00:35:43] there. Do they are their wives here? Their wives are back in Guatemala. I don't know

[00:35:48] because I don't my Spanish sucks. So I'm getting half the story from these guys but I'd imagine

[00:35:53] that they have wives here and back home. Why wouldn't you not you know. Are other people

[00:35:59] who work with two Peruvian guys that were like 16 and both of them had children back in Peru.

[00:36:04] Yeah. And they're cool. They were like from America. They would just go visit Peru. They're

[00:36:08] like yeah dude you just go like common girls. It's legal here. You don't have to wear a

[00:36:14] condom. Right. All the only like the only consequences they have a picture in their wallet

[00:36:19] to show girls here. They're like yeah this is my son. Because they think it'll help you

[00:36:23] get laid. Yeah. Like yeah he's my life dude. This is my son. I want everything. What's his

[00:36:29] name? Oh shit you know man I like you know I knew what his name was. But what happened

[00:36:36] was. You know what's funny is funny that you asked me what his name was because like I

[00:36:42] swear to God I was saying his name like two hours ago. I was saying his name. You see what

[00:36:48] happened. What his name wasn't shit but like now right now like seriously like I don't

[00:36:54] know. Maybe it's because my blood sugar is low or something. Maybe I have like a pretzel

[00:36:58] dresser. You know I'm gonna go to West Coast pretzels and when I see you tomorrow I'm

[00:37:01] gonna tell you what my son's name is. The Wetzel. Yeah yeah. Oh that's right. My son's

[00:37:07] name is Wetzel Pretzel and my daughter is Charlie Ruse and then I got another son named

[00:37:16] Charlie. I love that that women's clothing store charming Charlie. Anytime it's a women's

[00:37:25] clothing store and it's a person you know dumb shit that women like bags and fucking

[00:37:30] this is just bracelets that make too much noise. Yeah. Bangles. Is that what they're called?

[00:37:35] I believe he wears them. I don't wear them. He wears them and which is gonna say is

[00:37:39] right now. He's African culture. That is. That was zero he gets to wear all the women's

[00:37:45] clothes. Yeah he's got a bagel around his neck. That's the next one. Shorter. I got it from

[00:37:49] your fucking culture you piece of shit. That's my reading about. I've googled ways to hurt

[00:37:55] an African's feelings and I appreciate all those down to say to you. For those listening

[00:38:02] Adam is dressed like Dalsim from Street Fighter right now. Yeah. Oh yeah well Jake is dressed

[00:38:06] like a blackbock ninja like an Antifa. A blackbock ninja. Wow. You got a goth. Damn. Take that

[00:38:14] you communist. Yeah you. My feelings. Yeah. Fucking. You socialist lay about. You are.

[00:38:23] That'd be cool if you charming charlotte's just women's clothing store and why that place?

[00:38:28] The name sounds to me I just think of like a slave. You know like a house slave. It does

[00:38:34] sound like a minstrel show. It does. Yeah charming Charlie. Yeah. I just I just I just

[00:38:39] lining up these bangles for you ma'am. It's a tap dance. I just get you these bangles

[00:38:44] in this tiny little place. We got the smallest little purse is the most expensive for you.

[00:38:51] That women welcome. Come on in. Hi ma'am. I see you more of a Leo beast today. Can I help

[00:38:57] you find some bangles for your fat wrists? You need to fire this man. Well actually he's

[00:39:03] a slave. So there's no reason to fire fire. You know that would actually be one thing

[00:39:07] that would be better if slavery still existed is you wouldn't have to like I mean if you

[00:39:12] were a slave you wouldn't have to be a good customer service guy. Well yeah my friend

[00:39:16] told me that because it's not like it would be a bird. That's like an asset for the company.

[00:39:20] Yeah yeah yeah. You know. Yeah my friend told me that or Max was telling me the other day

[00:39:25] that like I feel like it would be easier to be a slave at Jimmy John's than a minimum

[00:39:31] wage employee at Jimmy John. Yeah the prospect of being able to leave is the worst part.

[00:39:36] Yeah I mean working at Jimmy John's and having to deal with that like we have fun here that

[00:39:41] kind of bullshit. Yeah. I would gladly sacrifice the seven dollars an hour I was making at Jimmy

[00:39:48] John's if it meant that they just hit me every once in a while and I could curse and spit

[00:39:52] in the food and not have any you know. That doesn't make any sense. It makes plenty of

[00:39:57] sense. No have you ever worked there? Yep. Yeah fucking sucks. Jimmy John sucks dick.

[00:40:02] When so why would it suck any less if you were a slave? Because they want to be one

[00:40:07] of those places where you have to be excited about making sandwiches for fucking you know

[00:40:11] people on their lunch break. Yeah I always feel like I get like really annoyed and slash

[00:40:16] feel bad for like the fat gay guy at that kind of place that's like super stoked about

[00:40:22] working at Jimmy John's dude I had a fucking guy just doing a fucking twirl in a dance

[00:40:27] and he fucking loves it there. I had a coworker when I were Jimmy John's who like he had like

[00:40:32] a really like he just kept alluding to this like really dark fucking thing that happened

[00:40:37] to him in the recent past and he was like clearly you know a big huge tall gay man who

[00:40:42] was like and it was always talking about how he used to be a cake decorator until it happened

[00:40:46] like until something happened and it was clearly coked up so he's like this meth out

[00:40:52] cake decorator at the mall and that was like his life was going great. The thing that happened

[00:40:56] is he got sued by a Christian family for not making the cake for them. Yeah. Damn. Yeah

[00:41:02] that yeah discrimination could work in two both ways. That's going to happen dude. We're

[00:41:07] not far away from it. There's going to be a gay baker that gets owned by some Christian

[00:41:11] family. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Somebody was DMing me something. I got a notification on my

[00:41:21] watch. That's cool dude. Yeah. I also worked with the suck my dick. That's cool. That you

[00:41:26] got that on your wrist. Well Jimmy John himself was a petal. Yeah he was. He was one of the

[00:41:32] first prominent pedophiles in the American society. That's why that stupid fucking name.

[00:41:36] Yeah. This one is the the prosciutto didler. It's our first sandwich is the mozzarella

[00:41:44] and and roasted dry roasted Roma tomato special. Jimmy John. Well you get the first

[00:41:53] call. You get the pedophile Jimmy John's just subway. We should get that out. That's true.

[00:41:57] We're looking for the joke there. That's the answer folks. Nah I feel like we were talking

[00:42:03] about something we got off. Oh how's it a surge by the way. Oh it's delicious. It tastes

[00:42:08] like sugar water with a little bit of lemon lime. You know that's those are the ingredients.

[00:42:14] I mean you know it tastes like a sprite but like if it's if it wasn't thinned down enough

[00:42:19] with the water or something. You know it tastes good. Tastes good. The concentrate. Look at

[00:42:25] me on yellow sludge. It's like Mountain Dew. Yeah kind of. It's supposed to be like jack

[00:42:33] full of caffeine and make it go crazy but I don't feel that much different. Yeah like

[00:42:39] surge is like electricity. Yeah. Well cool. Okay well folks summer's over. It's fall

[00:42:46] weather now. It's gonna be well okay. Time for the best clothes to wear. You know falls

[00:42:51] the best. Don't you want to ask me as the most fashionable person on the podcast. No you

[00:42:56] dress like a woman. I don't dress like a woman. You wear a dalcy. You wear a bagel. You wear

[00:43:00] jewelry. I'm not wearing any jewelry. You got a hoopier. I wear a fucking jewelry. Now

[00:43:06] a crewnecks or jackets. Crewnecks have been a staple in my my rotation for a while. You

[00:43:12] can wear both at the same time. Nah you look like that makes you look like an asshole. No

[00:43:16] it doesn't. If you wear a jacket over a crewnecks sweatshirt that's a normal look. Nah it's

[00:43:20] stupid. Why is that jacket over a hoodie? Now that's cool. Fingerless gloves. Knee pads.

[00:43:26] No you know that's a classic. You're just describing Casey Jones from Ninja Turtles.

[00:43:32] Yeah dude. You click it bad. Friend that's like a weird turtle man. We talked about it

[00:43:39] before but I don't know if we've discussed this Jake. My favorite thing about the Ninja

[00:43:43] Turtles is that like they're all from California except for like Raphael is from like Bayside.

[00:43:49] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like cowball good dude. Having like surfs up and then one of

[00:43:54] them's like where's the where the fuck is the fucking pizza? You fucking piece of shit.

[00:43:59] Yeah he's doing stand up and the night he's with. Yeah. If I get that fucking Chinese

[00:44:04] guy I love how the movie starts with them like ripping off a delivery guy. Yeah it's

[00:44:09] so rude. Yeah they're just pieces of shit. They're like 30 minutes or it's free. It's

[00:44:13] like you live in the trash. You're supposed to be expecting this guy from a real address.

[00:44:18] Yeah. Get a job. Just slip the pizza through the grate and it's like okay first of all

[00:44:22] we all know that no grate in New York City has a slot that big. Yeah it's a slip of pizza.

[00:44:28] You got it. We turn the box sideways it would fuck up the pizza. You fucking turtle cunt.

[00:44:34] You fucking piece of shit turtle cunt. So the turtles came from California. They came

[00:44:39] to New York City. No they lived they lived in the sewer. What's his name? The rat splinter

[00:44:47] was from Japan. Yeah splinter was a Japanese rat. Guys he's got that old old Japanese man

[00:44:54] voice. Yeah he and his trainer his owner Yoshi something was killed by shredder.

[00:45:01] So that's why shred that's why splinter hates shredder and then they all that green shit

[00:45:09] turn them into turtles and it also turned splinter into you know the big rat. He was just a

[00:45:15] normal Asian guy. He was a normal Chinese or Japanese guy. Yeah so to escape the fate

[00:45:22] of becoming Japanese cuisine he turned into rat man. Japanese rat man that teaches the

[00:45:30] turtles you know kung fu or whatever. I think it's just general martial arts. But what doesn't

[00:45:36] make sense is like that you know so they're mutants but presumably that just turns them

[00:45:41] into people and it's like they're just people that live in the garbage. I don't understand

[00:45:46] where they got swords and shit. It's not like they have any extra abilities. Splinter doesn't

[00:45:52] know how to do anything other than karate. My favorite is when they put on the dusters

[00:45:56] in the fedoras and go out into society. That's just Raphael when he's pissed. Raphael does

[00:46:02] that no one else does that. Maybe Donatello or something. I think they all got it was just

[00:46:06] Raphael going out. They're three fingers. He's pissed and he has stuff. Yeah I'm having

[00:46:09] my fucking night out. You fucking piece of shit. Don't don't fucking bottom me splinter.

[00:46:16] I'm going through turtle puberty. That's the act because they're teenage so like Raphael

[00:46:21] is pissed off. His weird turtle dick growing turtle hair. They never. How are they teenage

[00:46:29] and how are they like why are they human because the ooze should theoretically just turn them

[00:46:33] into bigger turtles but it turns them into like people. Well we don't know the context

[00:46:39] of the body. Actually I can tell you exactly what's in it. Right now it's carbonated water.

[00:46:46] High fructose corn syrup, maltodextrin citrate acid, animal semen, orange juice concentrate,

[00:46:52] potassium benzoate, plant semen, potassium citrate, caffeine, the same kind of you drink

[00:46:58] Adam. Same kind of animal come you drink. That's an it that yeah I got you. That's not even

[00:47:06] a good I think it's safe to say that I got him once again Adam has been got you admitting

[00:47:12] to eating the come of animals. You know what I'm excited for pumpkin pie folks every year

[00:47:18] I tell myself I'm going to make a pumpkin pie and I don't do it and I ask myself why

[00:47:23] don't I do this. Why don't I make the pumpkin pie and it's because I'm not living in the

[00:47:26] moment and this is part of our news and series called just make the fucking pie. Sorry the

[00:47:32] cat's thrown up. Just make make the damn pie. You fat bitch stop eating candy bars. Yeah.

[00:47:40] You know what I'm doing? This is this is sort of in the same vein I was thinking the other

[00:47:43] day about how they have all these fitness places like CrossFit they have to brand for men by

[00:47:47] being like it's only 1% of people are tough enough to not be gay to step into this fucking

[00:47:53] gym and deal with real boot camp the way the Marines did. You could have been a Marine

[00:47:57] but instead you went to college became a pussy ass office boy with bitch tits and acting

[00:48:03] on your tits. Well you're gonna fucking lose them and become tough by doing we got we got

[00:48:07] Russian Olympic you know lifters that have been on steroids since they were six entire

[00:48:13] families were sex trafficked and you can pay the low low price of $3,200 for a single

[00:48:19] session seminar with Yasha jalusion of it who fucking hates you doesn't speak your language

[00:48:26] and he's gonna show you how to throw a barbell over your head one of those places those kind

[00:48:30] of gyms but you do like like a Zen motivation but branded for guys you know like Diamond

[00:48:36] Dallas pages like yoga guys but it's Zen for guys so it's like daily affirmations where

[00:48:43] it's like wake up breathe easy don't be a pussy you know today your goal is stop acting

[00:48:49] like a pussy bitch but it's okay if you are a pussy bitch you know just make the small

[00:48:55] changes to not be a complete limp rested in a factual beta male by breathing in yeah

[00:49:03] and just letting all that shit go this is a gym you're describing no it's yeah you're

[00:49:09] say at first you're saying this is gonna be a gym it's in the same vein as the gym the

[00:49:13] gym is it was a ballet studio that I came up with called Balnaut Gay and it's for tough

[00:49:18] guys yeah that's a good idea dance that was the idea that's cool no input nothing on that

[00:49:27] okay cool I don't know like what like first you started off as describing a gym then you

[00:49:33] described a sort of a Tony Robbins yeah you have to you have to have input it's a podcast

[00:49:38] I say I mean what do you want sit there in silence twiddling your thumbs and staring

[00:49:43] at the cat like a fucking invalid I was staring at a new cat we're staring directly into the

[00:49:48] cat's eyes when is your concept of when we're allowed to speak we constantly are trying

[00:49:55] to give a big difference between interrupting and I'm finished constantly I try to give

[00:50:00] input we're trying to tell a story you cut me off I've not cut out Jake once well because

[00:50:05] you're not getting you off you interject shit and then I prevent you from doing that no I

[00:50:09] don't interject anything you probably I'll constantly give you plenty of opportunity talk

[00:50:14] you constantly cut me off where were you on the pumpkin pie where was I the pumpkin pie

[00:50:19] riff no because you moved on you moved on from pumpkin pie pumpkin to this idea of pumpkin

[00:50:26] spice love a daily affirmation for men where you say don't be a bitch today or something

[00:50:32] yeah yeah yeah it's okay to be a bitch but don't be one yeah and then and then and then

[00:50:37] that was the slot that was the five seconds I had to interject where were you and because

[00:50:42] I don't know that's what I was expected of me I tried to interject where's your in

[00:50:47] proctor I've been doing this new thing when I edit the show where I remove I use this

[00:50:52] automated filter that'll remove silence yeah and then it it strips the audio file of all

[00:50:59] silence from the individual tracks so I can see who's contributing and who's interjecting

[00:51:06] yeah and I have I mean I have the raw data on you yeah and I could compile statistics from

[00:51:12] it what's my data you legitimately only interrupt people that's not true at all 90% of the time

[00:51:18] that you're speaking it's while interrupting somebody I can show you the five between the

[00:51:23] two of us you interrupt me ten times more than I interrupt you I take and it's not even

[00:51:29] interruption I it's not even interruption I introduce it sort of talking stick on the

[00:51:34] show because you really just don't understand I thought things are going I love this this

[00:51:40] is I love this you're you're literally describing what you do to be as what I do to you when

[00:51:45] have I ever interrupted you I really have no any ways pumpkin pie you know it's the best

[00:51:59] pie probably right after New York cheesecake that's not a pie yeah it is why it doesn't

[00:52:05] have a pie crust it's not a field cheesecake absolutely as pie crust it's got a like a

[00:52:13] graham cracker bought base bottom like a pie but it's not filled a pie is has a crust

[00:52:22] and it's filled this man's inbox with hate foolish comment cheesecake is not a fucking

[00:52:30] pie it's a cake only a name is all that shit yeah it's all over the place like what people

[00:52:35] say pizza pie that's not a pie it's a pizza you fucking wop moron yeah I never call it

[00:52:41] a pie that's a east coast affect having it for dessert I call it a pizza I'm gonna make

[00:52:46] that pumpkin pie you're gonna make that pumpkin pie I'm gonna do it dude I'm gonna make pumpkin

[00:52:52] pie this let's go back to the list yeah well we're you know what we're on our third block

[00:52:58] here so alright see block we're getting through it but we have some leftovers do you see this

[00:53:04] thing about branded teachers in the Silicon Valley well it's just like teachers that have

[00:53:10] their own personal brand or whatever and they get sponsorship from like tech companies they

[00:53:15] really is the worst place in the fucking world it's the absolute worst place Silicon Valley

[00:53:20] it's all like just sanctimonious fucking retards you know it's nerds that are doing

[00:53:28] sexual harassment nerds that are sexually harassing each other but they're shitty companies

[00:53:32] and all this personal branding bullshit and then the resistance that's the other half of

[00:53:38] it is people that are resisting with that we did a demonstration against Nazis the Golden

[00:53:44] Gate Park 80 million people showed up and there wasn't a single Nazi there yeah we did

[00:53:50] it what is it what is I can really ignore the Google thing what happened there some guy

[00:53:55] wrote a memo and they said it was like women aren't as smart as men here is here is a chart

[00:54:03] describing a woman's brain you know yeah my sources yeah it's all fucking we need to

[00:54:08] fire this man you know get him fired yeah fire everyone that's shared this we need to

[00:54:14] fire everyone should be fired that whole thing and it's like just ignore it he's a computer

[00:54:21] engineer just some fucking computer guy he doesn't know the things that we use to jack

[00:54:26] off on the internet doesn't matter what he thinks about anything you know hundred percent

[00:54:31] yeah it doesn't it really doesn't matter it's even in charge of hiring anybody no then

[00:54:36] shut up then shut up I don't know it doesn't fucking matter let him have his stupid personal

[00:54:42] boy who cares Russian hacking there's just that's still going on times article about

[00:54:48] how it was way worse than we thought it was and I read the article and I couldn't really

[00:54:53] figure out what they were talking about yeah I try I saw like the they're like yeah no

[00:54:59] there's a lot of people are saying this seems like hacking if they had companies and they

[00:55:04] said it doesn't seem like attacking to us but of course they're going to say that because

[00:55:08] they want to protect their you know it's like there's if there's nothing on it there's

[00:55:12] no there's never any new information with this Russian hacking it would be like huge

[00:55:17] news if they had anything every single time it's like a headline it's like well well think

[00:55:23] we may have the new and then the body of the fucking article is well we don't but what

[00:55:27] if we did why the Russian hacking thing is worse than all of them is because it's like

[00:55:32] it's all speculation from like elderly liberals who are like you know don't it started my

[00:55:39] iPhone the last yesterday there was a beep that I don't normally hear and that's I called

[00:55:45] the genius bar immediately and I was haranguing the young overweight black man or woman I

[00:55:51] couldn't tell who works there about it but I'm pretty sure it's the Russians yeah it's

[00:55:56] Donald Trump hacking into my Fitbit that I have no need for because I'm dying oh man

[00:56:03] one time I was in fucking it's just it's just for these shitty liberals that are already

[00:56:07] afraid of computers to be even more afraid of computers I was in Portland one time and

[00:56:13] I was reading this dumb fucking Chuck Pollinik book where he was like we're like a guy to

[00:56:18] the cities which one all of them got him was it written on a toilet paper roll because

[00:56:28] that's what I think yeah you should wipe your ass with it I mean he's a bad author yeah

[00:56:33] it's a guy that that fucking gets he gets his cut he does his own circumcision and then

[00:56:39] he cuts off homeless guys four skins and sows them back onto his and then somehow he goes

[00:56:45] to the doctor and then he falls in love with the doctor that has to do the circumcision

[00:56:49] and he goes from doctor to doctor and then the book's called what women want I fucking

[00:56:57] like this this book there's like this guy to like you can call this phone number and

[00:57:04] go visit this weird ass woman that lives in the woods that built this thing called the

[00:57:07] self-cleaning house she died like a few months ago yeah and she built this like dumb how

[00:57:11] about this the bitch cleaning house that's where I want to live make the bitch clean the

[00:57:15] house good lord good lord I am horny that's my black comic-calfress oh man thank the lord

[00:57:24] my dick is hard you go to her house and she built this house in like the you know fucking

[00:57:30] 40s or some shit to be in like a world's fair and it's just like this dumb house that's

[00:57:34] covered in plastic and you she would throw soap in the chimney and then turn all these

[00:57:38] sprinklers and then like do do do do do do do is like wipers come out and shit so you

[00:57:43] know you're supposed to go see this weird woman's like a weird house and you talk to her and

[00:57:48] she's you know I gotta pay royalties to Warner Brothers every time you do that song that's

[00:57:51] kind of fucked up Jake you're a guest interesting okay I'm good I'm glad you do yeah you did

[00:57:56] the fucking factory we need to in song yeah it's called it's got a name like power bottom

[00:58:03] or something yeah that's what it does is off scut I think that's totally fair but she has

[00:58:07] dementia and she's just devolved into like talking about how the Russians are trying

[00:58:11] to steal the plans for her dumb fucking self-leaning house and just like you know eyes are all

[00:58:16] fucking loopy all the place why do Russians want to clean their house they love grime

[00:58:20] and to be exposed to chemicals yeah if there's one thing Russian people love it's ballet

[00:58:25] and being irradiated Nick is tremendous respect for the Russian people only the strong female

[00:58:31] powerlifting the strong truly of ends my dear wife my beautiful wife muscle Barbie okay we're

[00:58:41] gonna jump ahead in the next segment here and say time be damned the September 11th anniversary

[00:58:47] is coming up again you guys got any plans yeah it's funny moms it's the first funny

[00:58:52] moms for the bi monthly schedule so we're gonna it's so yeah please come to the show it

[00:58:59] seems like it was only a year ago that it was the last September 11th yeah it does feel

[00:59:04] that way yeah it's funny how that works what's the play here what's the play do you think

[00:59:11] what if they did the freedom tower the same way if they did it by plane hats off yeah that

[00:59:17] would be a fool me twice it's our fault it would sort of be like return of the jet on

[00:59:23] you know where they do the same thing there's just a different it should be that would be

[00:59:27] a different star does inter episodic star wars one off yeah one of just like the death

[00:59:34] star guy in between Empire Strikes Back and we are in the Jedi that's like what are the

[00:59:40] odds you're gonna blow up another death star please just give me the goddamn budget I guarantee

[00:59:45] you this one is gonna be perfect they're not gonna they're not gonna find a way into

[00:59:52] this death star except for this one small weak point yeah that they can exploit and I'm sure

[00:59:58] they'll never figure it out one was great that was like the best Star Wars movie that

[01:00:02] was the one everybody dies it's bleak the girls cool that guy it man was hot she's not

[01:00:08] like cute she's hot and like a worn out you know kind of like fights yeah fighter hot

[01:00:14] she got she thought she's like one of those girls thought it'd be cool to get a bartending

[01:00:18] job at 30 there 23 and then stuck there I decade yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah why is that

[01:00:26] so fucking hot I'm on break yeah one of those girls just step offing she's like just the

[01:00:33] way she says hey you know she's a fucking she's down yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we can fuck

[01:00:38] I guess you have Netflix that's pretty cool yeah I get it my dad's racist it was murdered

[01:00:46] by stormtroopers now I work at TGI Fridays yeah yeah I know Blake yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[01:00:57] oh yes Stephanie she's great yeah yeah yeah yeah no your dad blew up the death star pretty

[01:01:05] cool yeah I mean she sucks but her dad was pretty cool I guess she's got that does daddy

[01:01:13] issues is daddy killed by Darth Vader daddy issues you gotta find a girl's dad was killed

[01:01:19] by fat stormtroopers that's how you get them they're in love with the stormtroopers killed

[01:01:25] their dad I'm imagining a bunch of stormtroopers and then one of them just asleep

[01:01:31] yeah like psoriasis scarred which up dude the bandana hanging out at the joints just a

[01:01:49] fucking like a rag over the shoulder oh man Billy Billy's great just taking off his stormtroopers

[01:01:57] sure and shotgun at beers and shit just wearing the paint it's the white plastic paint it's

[01:02:04] fuck blakes of fun I was trying to I wanted to do a segment on a on and Jemima a lot of

[01:02:12] people haven't seen a Jemima throughout history but you used to be a lot more racist they've

[01:02:17] kind of like every day I used to be super racist oh yeah dude they just slowly reformed them

[01:02:23] yeah they all they all kind of got better uncle Ben's is finally coming around he's a real

[01:02:27] uncle now he's not sure if David Clark is the new uncle Ben but I was trying to Google

[01:02:35] it and I found this article about about and Jemima throughout history and the first line

[01:02:42] and this is an article from five years ago but it was funny to me first line David Pilgrims

[01:02:47] spent decades collecting racist pictures signs and knickknacks now he's sharing his collection

[01:02:53] with the world is he supposed to be a hero in the story well you don't know that he's

[01:02:58] a black guy until later on the article but there's a new racism museum which I like to

[01:03:03] call Jay Leno's garage folks have you heard about this is my garage it's a as I like the

[01:03:09] call it the new Rayfivvam music folks that's a bit of a segment where you like he points

[01:03:15] out typos in the newspaper but it's just the country Niger yeah like this yeah yeah left

[01:03:21] a couple of nine just oh what I'm sorry Kevin yeah I didn't know yeah they got a racism

[01:03:32] museum now it's some of these is like is it racist or like the cream of wheat guy that's

[01:03:37] just a black man oh wait no I didn't read the words underneath his face what is the words

[01:03:43] maybe cream of wheat ain't got no vitamins vitamins I don't know what them things is

[01:03:50] if they's bugs they ain't not in cream of wheat she's so good to eat and cheap causes

[01:03:57] about god damn America used to be so funny it's really no coincidence that we developed

[01:04:04] stand up comedy immediately after they made racism illegal because there was a need for

[01:04:09] it people are like where are we gonna get our humor we don't have racism anymore we need

[01:04:15] something funny and the Jews are like what about I just don't understand things I go

[01:04:20] on stage and I say well calendar what is that and be black and yeah yeah that's basically

[01:04:25] the other pattern for 80 years and now stand up comedy is like white men I don't think

[01:04:31] so and then standing ovation for 30 minutes yeah so I'm on like Tinder and but like am

[01:04:47] I fucking sucks right now comedy is like so bad terrible dude I did a show the other

[01:04:51] night and like there's no fault of the comics I mean they're writing jokes that are you know

[01:04:56] they're working and it's like technically how a comedy is supposed to work but I sit

[01:05:01] there it just does absolutely nothing for me I can't laugh at it anymore whatever people

[01:05:06] know that about me I'm not gonna go into that the Jim Crow Museum of racist memorabilia

[01:05:12] which opens on April 26 at the Ferris University I think that has anything to do with Ferris

[01:05:18] Bueller I won there Jim Crow that's the guy draws Garfield yeah that would be Jim Crow

[01:05:26] why they call the Jim Crow Jim crochet dude bad badly were brown that's as long as about

[01:05:33] a badly raw brown keep him away from my damn wife

[01:05:38] meeting of that old King Kong and he looks like him too I was funnier than you gave it

[01:05:48] credit for I thought it was good you're trying to come up your own riff you didn't laugh at

[01:05:51] our wasn't trying to come up my own riff museum's hang of 10 bucks except the Aaron space museum

[01:05:56] that one's that museum sucks I know it's for babies yeah it really does suck yeah but you

[01:06:01] can touch the exhibits which makes it good yeah you can't touch the rockets and shit that

[01:06:06] is pretty yeah that's pretty cool they should rename it the Verner von Braun museum put

[01:06:11] a bunch of pictures of him as a Nazi that's the Verner von Braun I respect which other

[01:06:16] Nazis did we bring over I only ever heard of von Braun Einstein he was a former yeah Alfred

[01:06:29] Hitchcock Hitchcock Alfred Hitchcock yeah he was a Nazi yeah there's a couple of them he's

[01:06:38] the first American Nazi you know the big man Martin Luther King the first Nazi in America

[01:06:49] like the official Nazi party was named Heinz Spank no blah and then say they just they

[01:06:54] meet and they would discuss how to get catch up out of the bottle yeah yeah do you do the

[01:07:00] spank or do you do the knife and like the twirl around the knife sure I don't do you do Jerry

[01:07:07] Seinfeld is a Nazi what do you do that wouldn't surprise me actually yeah Jerry signheim I

[01:07:12] love it Jerry Seinfeld is now like one of those like I can't do colleges anymore because

[01:07:17] of the safe spaces yeah it's like who's getting offended by your comedy or bullshit about

[01:07:23] what telephone and shit no they're just offended at what he thinks it's not the shit I was

[01:07:29] trying to do a great bit about fax machines the other day and you caught the coupon but

[01:07:33] then it's already cut what do you do you cut how are you gonna cut it again but what a balloon

[01:07:40] how about what this is hate speech yeah yeah this is not on my campus I can't the it's

[01:07:47] like a

[01:07:47] a

[01:07:49] equation sucks yeah that's yeah no you're gonna be a social justice warrior last time I checked

[01:07:56] warriors were people who went to war was bad how you gonna be a good guy if you're going

[01:08:01] to war they should be called social justice pacifist like Gandhi I don't know so that

[01:08:07] sounds like candy yeah it's sure I like candy hey where you going it's the safe spaces they

[01:08:16] can't take my hardcore brand of outside of comedy how about the safe space museum huh

[01:08:22] why is the two G's in the word Jordan and one G that's already a country just make it

[01:08:28] the same word people know you're talking about people from the yeah down Trump's tweeting

[01:08:36] about Hillary's emails again I like yeah play they hit spaby yeah free bird you know what

[01:08:42] the biggest campaign promise he made he was gonna fucking hire a special prosecutor locker

[01:08:46] ass up do that shit dude I think that should be the fucking that should be the panic button

[01:08:52] option for Trump as soon as he sees this like Russia investigation he's throwing Hillary

[01:08:57] jail fucking put her ass in jail I would love that soccer sentence her to death you pardon

[01:09:03] uh you pardon you know you do pardon hitler secretly hire somebody to beat up Hillary Clinton

[01:09:10] in a parking lot and then pardon them when they're in like a Nancy karrigan style attack

[01:09:18] yeah I think Trump knows how to secretly do anything though yeah I wouldn't have a breast

[01:09:25] conference I just want to congratulate myself last week I secretly hired a man to beat up

[01:09:31] Hillary Clinton in parking garage and it came off total success complete success nobody

[01:09:37] had any ideas behind it and I'm pardoning the man who did it so I'm also pardoning myself

[01:09:43] which I'm allowed to do you can't stop me I'm having I'm I'm I'm creating a pardon I'm

[01:09:49] executive order that says you have Joe Appel is not president and he's going to pardon me

[01:09:55] sort of I scratch your back you scratch your back sort of situation uh Blade Runner HDR

[01:10:01] it is coming out who's excited that's that's pretty cool it's gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna

[01:10:06] do a little bit of surge and watch that movie have you seen that have you been to that museum

[01:10:10] in a story of the moving image no I don't go to museum they have they have the so you

[01:10:16] know how like all CGI used to be models like Star Wars and stuff who's like model

[01:10:21] model look at me coming down the runway you say you have the fuck see 3PO you're saying

[01:10:27] they have the building from Blade Runner yeah from that opening C3PO stand for C3PO I see

[01:10:36] 3PO and I eat 3PO that's what it stands for all right I say 3PO about 3PO about

[01:10:44] retard D2 everybody ever call Matt who you know it's funny you think that like after

[01:10:54] 28 years I would already be through all of the Star Wars bits about the droids but every

[01:11:01] year I get something new on those two little pieces of shit you had a little chunk for

[01:11:07] a while about the red arm yeah I do force awakens came out see 3PO just had a red

[01:11:14] arm yeah and I was going on stage being like who's excited to find out what that red arms

[01:11:19] about oh boy talk about a cliffhanger where you get that red arm

[01:11:25] the gay robot

[01:11:29] stupid shit yeah to review I want that Milwaukee cordless miter saw somebody I posted pictures

[01:11:39] on that that that bookshelf I made for you in that room of yours you posted yeah I posted

[01:11:46] yeah I posted a progress did people give you a positive feedback you know what I got a

[01:11:50] little bit of it and I do have a couple of followers that are like a professional general

[01:11:56] contractors and they didn't say shitty job to me now I have to understand most people

[01:12:01] aren't as mean spirited as I am so they're probably just humoring me but I thought I

[01:12:06] did an okay job on it for having never done a corner bead and mudding before on drywall

[01:12:12] you know no it looked really good at the end I got okay yeah but somebody asked me if

[01:12:19] I had that nine amp hour oh great job did Milwaukee battery and I don't but there the

[01:12:27] Milwaukee miter saw comes with an extra one for free and those things are like $200 a

[01:12:32] piece so you get one you get two of those batteries it's like $400 brings the cost of

[01:12:37] the miter saw down to like a hundred dollars it's like just it pays for itself yeah that

[01:12:44] the man that's for a deal corner I want that's my deal corner so go to go to Best Buy and

[01:12:49] shout promo code come town and and then just walk out of the store with that Milwaukee

[01:12:55] miter saw and that's that's it folks we pretty much you've been through everything here we

[01:13:02] got we got more stuff to juice heroes going out of just there is going out of business

[01:13:08] the new Apple TV is coming out we would have pornography yeah I hope so that's a question

[01:13:14] yeah juice arrow is shutting down if you don't know what that is it's a company that

[01:13:17] makes a $700 Wi-Fi enabled juicer hell yeah if you didn't think Silicon Valley was dumb

[01:13:23] enough dude I fuck I fucking hate California so much the whole place the whole fucking

[01:13:29] place dude it's a garbage culture filled with garbage people yeah okay let me tell you some

[01:13:34] cool stuff they love trash they love turning trash into things bakers field California

[01:13:39] home of corn dude the band that's the cool thing in California Disney's California adventure

[01:13:46] theme park Florida has the best amusement parks some more things Hollywood the Hollywood

[01:13:55] Hills yeah I can't argue with that yeah Hollywood pills a bunch of pillheads oh shit Hollywood

[01:14:03] has been cool since the 1940s maybe the 1950s or 60s so it was like club it is fucking

[01:14:11] suck it was all up in the canyons when I look into pictures of Mark Wahlberg's house because

[01:14:16] I sort of pattern my own life after Mark what Mark's life I feel like we're very similar

[01:14:20] like the hate crime that hate crimes both bodybuilders you know we're both from south Boston

[01:14:27] both got a Donnie in your life yeah we both have a brother named Donnie who's a better

[01:14:32] actor than us but is less successful you think Donnie Wahlberg's a better actor than Mark

[01:14:37] Wahlberg absolutely really I've know we talked about it oh cuz you were on bloods with him

[01:14:43] you're on a B blood yeah I mean we're coworkers we go we guest I because start on I was the

[01:14:50] star of blue bloods and he was you know sort of it yeah a supporting role Nick actually

[01:14:55] played the Tom Selleck role yeah a lot of people know this but I'm Tom Selleck that's

[01:15:00] the mustache yeah and my next role what with me is I'm only credited as guy with knife

[01:15:11] but what women want to with Tom Selleck is just women sitting on his mustache and so

[01:15:19] many cuts me rips off his mustache and puts it on their own face oh yeah given mustache

[01:15:25] rides yeah Donnie is a much better actor did you he was in new kids in the block no yes

[01:15:33] he was he was a new kids are on the block and then Mark Wahlberg was in Marky Mark in

[01:15:37] the funky bunch well what what what what what happened the funky much you know what happened

[01:15:46] with who are you guys yeah was it black guys no I mean the funky bunch would imply come

[01:15:54] on heads it's like 90s oh the funky boys I don't even know I know the new kids on the

[01:15:58] block with the rest of them are white guys yeah new kids in the block we're all like

[01:16:01] from all that the funky much had a boy fucking sucks dude it's all all that shit is fucking

[01:16:06] garbage there's like who's arguing that is good a wrap for everybody that they made and

[01:16:11] then early 90s yeah like the ice and everything can wrap you know white guys black guys even

[01:16:18] teachers are your dad you know that's before like crime was part of it yeah you know when

[01:16:23] like rap was just like girl I want to take you on a date to the mall where we can get

[01:16:31] funky together in the back of your dad's knees on putting my finger in you the way you told

[01:16:40] me not to but I did it anyways because I got them crazy fingers whoo yeah did I then the

[01:16:49] dance routine crazy fingers I can't keep my fingers out of you

[01:16:56] is putting my fingers in you baby because I'm 17 and you are 13 and we met at the mall

[01:17:09] and I got these fingers here girl you know those old songs yeah I can't you know I can't

[01:17:21] do like a boy band and it's like all the backwards hats the guest jeans denim jackets

[01:17:28] to white guys to black 17 year olds and they're all just the got their fingers and they're

[01:17:34] just way the fingering crew sees backwards they're just wearing 13 year old girls like

[01:17:47] gloves on their right hand when I saw you outside of the movie theater I knew one thing

[01:17:53] was gonna happen and then they do like one thing with their finger and then it's like

[01:17:59] I was gonna finger you and the point down all the dancers are fingering or it's not one

[01:18:11] of the bases so you're still a virgin girl I know your dad is Christian but he's black

[01:18:18] so it's kinda in the middle I'm the fingering crew and we're gonna finger you fingering all

[01:18:26] afternoon until you have to go to after school and then your dad picks you up but don't tell

[01:18:35] him what you did because he's gonna get mad and then I can't finger you again it'd be

[01:18:41] a great day that's like the musical I can hear the finger boy just wearing they're wearing

[01:18:46] George Ash jeans yeah exactly and like yeah and fucking a for X shirts a Varex as I like

[01:18:58] to call it cool clothes for homeless guys you homeless do you want some cool ass clothes

[01:19:03] check out a Varex baby yeah I live I live inside of a fucking trash can but I still need

[01:19:08] to look fly that's why I got a Varex oh TV review quarter did you guys watch the James

[01:19:15] Franco porn no I put it on but then I get an argument and I had to put it turn it off

[01:19:21] yeah yeah not even about the show about some other bullshit I'm sure yeah it was it was

[01:19:29] okay mostly he's kind of annoying I think it's cool to have a shit well it's not about

[01:19:34] porn yet annoying I'm annoying it's all about pimps that's true I think it's cool to be annoying

[01:19:39] wait can we talk about pimps now shut up that's the end of the episode I have a question

[01:19:43] why what's what is the wire pimps also like sort of dandy men you know what I mean why

[01:19:51] do they wear like fancy like sort of fem feminine kind of clothes and they have like kind of

[01:19:57] like long sort of girly hair yeah they're like they're foppish foppish men is it supposed

[01:20:04] to be like a luxury thing same thing Trump does it's sort of a Trump like seal fancy

[01:20:09] something like that yeah I think it's because they're actually gay they beat but then no

[01:20:13] they beat women and yeah I hate women it's cool women yeah that's not a gay thing to do

[01:20:18] yeah yeah if you beat women that's how you know somebody's a real tough guy what's with

[01:20:23] the gay guys that like dude I just grabbed a laugh but if you hit women if you hear her

[01:20:27] children or animals seriously bro come at me because if there's one thing I can't fucking

[01:20:33] stand as people that are bullies you know yeah yeah like me a guy that's looking for any

[01:20:39] excuse to beat up fictional people across some threshold in my mind that allows me to be

[01:20:43] violent towards them yeah I think what I hate is bullies you know yeah it's true I hate

[01:20:49] bullies too that's why it's okay to hurt people that hurt animals you should always punch

[01:20:54] a Nazi doesn't even matter if they're not see we should find people that I can call a

[01:20:58] Nazi so I have a way to hurt somebody in a group action I can be a part of an angry mob

[01:21:05] that beats somebody up and still feel good about myself you've been cornering me for

[01:21:09] about 30 minutes this Buffalo wildlings talking about your ex-girlfriend can I leave this is

[01:21:18] me to the fictional character this guy's always like they just talk and talk and talk and

[01:21:22] talk and they're just like and then my dad you know when he walked out of my mom and you're

[01:21:26] like why you just met like fucking three minutes ago you guys are always also bicycle punks

[01:21:30] yeah yeah and it's all it's just one big hold me back bro they're not actually trying to

[01:21:35] fight anyone yeah they're just they're fighting against people that aren't even in the room

[01:21:39] yeah I think can we go back to pimps though I want to move to China I don't have to be

[01:21:48] the next episode but I'm really thinking about it dude China I feel like why thrive in China

[01:21:55] it's all pollution and garbage I love New York it's like an even more hardcore New York

[01:22:02] also I just love the Chinese it's really freaky to me that they really are the fucking best

[01:22:06] people in the world there are cities with like 15 million people that we don't even know

[01:22:10] the names they have zero culture they've been like most of the time they don't even wear

[01:22:14] clothes they'll smoke you do they have like thousands of years of dynasties and porcelain

[01:22:20] now they're raised all that shit in the 60s oh because of the cultural revolution let's

[01:22:25] say yeah to the culture now is just squatting and smoking oh dude yesterday I stole from

[01:22:30] a I didn't steal but I got from furniture store I don't know why I said still still I stole

[01:22:36] it I actually did steal it I stole a small porcelain statue of Chairman Mass but playing

[01:22:41] with saxophone it's pretty cool cool yeah he would have wanted you to have it yeah I

[01:22:47] know like you walk out and then ten minutes later there's a Chinese family in there and

[01:22:51] they notice it's missing and they detained the Chinese family and arrest them because

[01:22:56] they they assume that they stole it socially or they profile them yeah yeah well we should

[01:23:02] have ended on the fingering thing but yeah we should have that was strong yeah yeah I wish

[01:23:08] I could have ripped a little harder on that one but well let's just do another track from

[01:23:12] the finger boys no let's end the episode because we're at an hour 23 okay well it's

[01:23:17] a little bonus for the boys alright well good good day to use the N word