Cum Town | Premium | 09/18/2017
[00:00:00] Check yeah, that's right you listen to jade kiss podcast
[00:00:09] Yeah, what a fucking dumbass name jade kiss jade kiss. Oh
[00:00:14] Why is it is it like he is his name is jade the kiss? Yeah? Oh, that's pretty cool, then
[00:00:20] It's Jada kiss. I'm Jay, and I'm the kiss. Yeah, that's funny Adam is Jada kiss
[00:00:33] Fine, that's it is funny. You're right at Nick. Yeah, you're right in that what Adam said is funny
[00:00:38] I love that. That's my favorite line and we on make it when he says Jay duh
[00:00:44] Why kiss you I kiss you you you broke ass inward. Yeah, say it. I'm not gonna say why you've said it before I
[00:00:54] Only say it when I'm in a car with all white people. Mm-hmm, and the windows are all the way
[00:00:59] I only say when I have a cold and I'm trying to say digger
[00:01:04] That's the only time I say it's a good man. If you have a cold you say
[00:01:07] The end switch to these the D switch to ends try it pinch your nose and then say it
[00:01:26] When you're having when you're having telephone bit hour and you continue to make prank calls is a 30 year old man
[00:01:32] With except this time unlike in middle school your friends aren't there
[00:01:39] It's just you by yourself. You just for your own personal amusement
[00:01:43] No audience right when I'm not even rebothering the record the cold
[00:01:51] For the love of the game. Yeah, dude like Marlow on the corner, dude
[00:01:56] Yeah, that's real I put on a little bit of jade kiss I start dialing numbers
[00:02:05] I called up this guy I found on the white pages this guy named like Al Kunz or something mm-hmm. He's like a business awesome
[00:02:12] I think maybe his coods. I was like this
[00:02:16] Al Kunz I'm like my name is Richard Dix and I have a
[00:02:19] Business proposition for you and he's like okay. I'm listening
[00:02:22] I'm like I'd be honest with you sir. I figured you to hang up on
[00:02:29] Did I remember one time we would make we would all make prank calls at my goia tournament the Greek Orthodox youth of America
[00:02:49] You know the beans to make our family proud
[00:02:55] They make coconut milk my coconut milk that I get that shit's goia goia. Yeah now as I was saying adobo seasonings
[00:03:02] Is I was rudely interrupted it was I was in the Greek Orthodox youth of America?
[00:03:08] We did basketball tournaments. It was like a Hitler youth for Greeks. Yeah, it was teaching us the inferiority of
[00:03:14] Do you wear not khaki shorts short shorts? No athletic wear?
[00:03:19] Okay, I was part of the saint knit we were the same we were by church. We'd compete against each other anyway on these long bus rides
[00:03:27] To go play other five seven prank people. Oh, yeah, and our and our number one prank call my stroke was fat bill
[00:03:36] Fat bill who I think now might be dead because of gambling debts. They called on that because he was the only one that wasn't fat
[00:03:47] Make no mistake fat bill earned his name especially fat he also he
[00:03:53] He lost weight in later years. He helped run his all these kids helped run their parents carry outs
[00:03:58] Maria D's in Baltimore Shouts are go you know go go go buy a slice from Maria D's in FED Hill
[00:04:04] One of his yeah, they really need the body now that their son's dead. I don't know if he's dead or he's just disappeared
[00:04:10] But yeah, he got into have gambling heavily anyway his best prank call was one time he called the guy
[00:04:16] He was like hey, it's Mike along and then the guy was like Mike long who and then he said Mike long
[00:04:30] And just the guy hung up another favorite of hit or this other kid Constantine did one where he was like he would call a place and be like
[00:04:37] Hi is Leroy there and then he would hang up and then he would call back in a very racist black voice and be like
[00:04:45] Be like it's Leroy. Did anybody call for me?
[00:04:55] So yeah, those are two Goya classics they really taught us a lot of a
[00:04:59] Lot a lot about life in the Greek Orthodox youth of America definitely wasn't being racist and then trying to finger girls in churches
[00:05:09] Which I did at one time. It's pretty cool
[00:05:12] How about you guys any youth experiences you were in some kind of Jewish youth oh, yeah plenty Adam
[00:05:19] Stop rubbing the microphone on your mouth. It picks up on the
[00:05:22] Oh, sorry, it sounds like somebody doing an undoing velcro. Oh, you can't what about this?
[00:05:29] You can't just hold the mic it's just my lips my lips. No, you're not too nice
[00:05:35] I know you're gonna say you can't just hold the microphone up with your
[00:05:45] Yeah, what were we talking about prank phone calls? Yeah prank phone calls with the boys
[00:05:52] I used one one time my friend David kept getting kicked out of schools for smoking weed nice
[00:05:58] Well, this guy sounds cool. Yeah, he was cool. I mean it was like sixth grade to yeah
[00:06:02] Yeah, we started he started real early. He's the fuck. So this is the best kids
[00:06:06] It's the ones that started like smoking cigarettes when they're eight. Yeah
[00:06:09] He was that kid no he's all been New Orleans. He was that kid we saw in New Orleans who's now like when we saw him
[00:06:15] He was like 26 and he had five kids. He married North Docs Jewish woman
[00:06:19] Yeah, and I asked him I was like which one do you like the best?
[00:06:22] He's like the second one by far. He had he had an answer ready to go ready to go
[00:06:25] He's like the first one I don't like him. He's too religious. I just live in like by water. Yeah, he lives
[00:06:30] Yeah, he lives like in New Orleans shit place to raise a family. Yeah, we see is he like no
[00:06:35] He could train a devastated by a man in a marinette. What's it called Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary Mary
[00:06:42] Yeah, he's cool. Yeah, that's where he lives. Yeah, did you know is he live in Metery or the Marry?
[00:06:48] Metery metery. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, he was a really bad kid and like super religious now like you marry North
[00:06:54] No, he like yeah, his I think he got an Orthodox girl pregnant. They had to get married or some shit
[00:07:00] Yeah, whatever he got married. He got married when we were like sophomores in college
[00:07:05] We got a call and he's like yo, I'm getting married
[00:07:07] Anyway, but he was like hilariously he was like the bat. He was the wild. Yeah, he had no fear and
[00:07:16] He his parents as the last resort after getting kicked out of his like third or fourth school just got a rabbi to be his private tutor
[00:07:24] Like a finding forester situation. Yeah, I guess he just had this you remember that movie. Yeah, yeah
[00:07:30] Yeah, yeah, you're the man now dog does anyone remember what happens in that movie?
[00:07:34] I don't see Sean Connery befriends a black child and then says
[00:07:41] Nobody remembers the story. No you he was a basketball star in a New York City private school
[00:07:46] Not a single person can remember the story
[00:07:48] He got recruited because he was good at basketball
[00:07:51] but he was also secretly good at writing and
[00:07:55] F. Mary Abraham was the evil teacher that thought that a black could never be a good writer
[00:08:00] That's the plot and then he submitted a story black will ever write letters in my school
[00:08:20] Get it and then his older brother was played by bust arrives. Oh nice
[00:08:25] I remember in one scene. There's one scene where he's really going for like maybe I could get best supporting actor
[00:08:31] There's one scene in particular is he turning it on big time?
[00:08:34] They give you everything and then they take it all away
[00:08:38] Like does the little over the top you think that way over the top anyway my friend David
[00:08:44] was getting over that remember that Bernie Mac Show episode where he
[00:08:48] He's like trying to be a serious actor and his movie replaced like a retarded guy or something
[00:08:53] No, that's like sitting around watching the movie and they're all like laughing their asses
[00:09:02] The Bernie Mac show fucking wrist seen wrist seen called me up the other day and he's like I like pick up
[00:09:08] He's like hey Adam you remember like Bernie Mac like the whole point of the show was that like his nephew was gay
[00:09:14] In the standup that it's based off of yeah, it's like there's a ten minute chunk about how he's gay
[00:09:28] Totally sort of gay the whole thing. Yeah, and then I was just like yeah, I remember that he's like okay. All right
[00:09:36] I was like we've seen asked me if I seen Dunkirk
[00:09:41] Thunkerenky I saw it in Greece in an outdoor movie theater. Oh chill, dude fucking tight. Yeah
[00:09:48] That was his wife on that show boy did I do some beating off to her was she hot?
[00:09:53] Oh my god was she hot? I mean Bernie we could all agree. That's king of comedy by far, right?
[00:09:59] It's not even not even close not even close
[00:10:02] Although he's the Ron white of the Kings of Congress. Yeah. Yeah. He's got something going on Ron black
[00:10:14] Blacke jeans that he's wearing in the I'm scared my motherfuckers are like which that is the hottest look it rules of our own face
[00:10:24] Airbrush he had like a waistcoat on a colorless
[00:10:29] Like dress shirt and then those fucking mom jeans that were airbrush
[00:10:35] I want some fucking jeans airbrush with my face. I think we should all get NBA jeans just the three of course 100%
[00:10:41] Yeah, I've seen those come back around though. I think it's like a thing again, which I don't want to do it anymore
[00:10:47] I want it to start be cool. I want to be cool. I gotta make cool. I got us like big
[00:10:56] They're playing they're playing like Shaddae in the Home Depot. Shaddae. Yeah, it's shot day
[00:11:01] I know it is but I'm always doing your bit. I'm not doing your bit. I said it wrong
[00:11:12] No, you don't be yes sometimes I do no fuck you. You'll never know
[00:11:16] That no one gives a fuck dude. That's the truth. You never do it. You never you always try to do it. Okay, stop a roast
[00:11:23] God damn it. That was an accident shut up
[00:11:26] Anyway, what was should I should I know you piece in the Home Depot? That's what we had the big fucking
[00:11:43] It felt out of play. I mean, yeah, it feels like there shouldn't be music on at Home Depot
[00:11:47] That is true. They go there. I go there to just bask in my own competence. Yeah, I don't want to have it interrupted by
[00:11:56] Yeah, whatever weird music to play. Yeah, the superman's fighting. Yeah
[00:12:01] Wow, that's crazy shut up. That is pretty cool. That's crazy. Yeah, you guys don't even go to home. Wow. No, that's incredible
[00:12:08] Wow, that was one of those feels right. Wow. That's all so good. Oh, we should kiss dude synergy
[00:12:17] Yeah, well we talked about before oh Bernie Mac that nursing home
[00:12:25] There's no this is like a nursing home in Houston that like the air conditioner shot off the lady died the old lady
[00:12:32] No, like everyone in the nursing home died damn was it that like picture of all those old people that were like sitting in the
[00:12:38] Happen in every nursing home how old people are like outrage? I you know what at a certain point full disclaimer
[00:12:44] I don't know any of the details. Yeah, really what I'm referencing. It's something I think I heard
[00:12:50] I don't want to be that old and live dude. Yeah, have you ever been in a fucking nursing home?
[00:12:55] It's horrible people like all this is tragic those old people cooked a death in a fucking a nursing home in a swab and it's like
[00:13:02] Yeah, that is a step below how they normally
[00:13:07] How hot they like it shitting themselves to death wall of
[00:13:11] Southeast Asian woman who doesn't speak English is fucking adjusting their catheter. It's like not it's yes
[00:13:19] It's a fucking horrible way to it's a retirement community. I would I want to die. That's what you get
[00:13:25] You know, it's just like that Billy Joel song
[00:13:32] That point of that song is you should suck Billy Joel's dick and die of mouth hepatitis
[00:13:45] Then you fucking you fuck down. He was trying to get sucked up by the girl. I'm speaking of old Harry Dean Stan
[00:13:52] Yeah, come on Virginia. Please suck Monday
[00:13:57] Just kidding. I'm gonna immediately tell everyone at school
[00:14:19] Hell yeah, brother. Yeah, I'd like to believe that he goes around cruising for
[00:14:24] 14 push yeah, 15 badge on his motor is he still married to Christy Brinkley? No, no, he's had a series of failed relationships
[00:14:32] Sure, Chris you break was dead. No, she's not dead. I think she died in like 1986. She's alive. Oh, dude
[00:14:43] You fuck the dead body. No, I'm pretty sure she was alive. He's sucked
[00:14:47] That's it was Christy Brinkley. Yeah, she had a really big cock. Is that that she had a really big good
[00:14:54] Dain a cool joke about people showing up to LA for the first time. No, it's like their first week in LA
[00:15:00] They're like yeah, I met share the other night. Her clip was so big. It could barely fit up my ass
[00:15:11] He's the funniest guy in the world he is a funny dude, he's really up there
[00:15:15] I'm up there with the greats. Yeah, Norm McDonald data Gould me
[00:15:21] Me more than Nick now Adam love very low
[00:15:27] It's it's an honor to be on the list funny
[00:15:32] Looking funny looking maybe yeah, shout out to the fan that made the website of me
[00:15:39] You know I have the next question is if Nick told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
[00:15:43] Is that the next question? Yeah, that's my next okay. Let's do it. No. Yeah, how about you Adam?
[00:15:48] If you said you kicked off the show, you don't jump off this bridge
[00:15:52] Which bridge it's a you'd survive a small bridge. Yeah, it's small Adam would float down like a feather
[00:16:10] How how's everybody there's good to be back, you know, I don't think I've asked you guys if you fucked recently
[00:16:15] For a while. I'm in a relationship. No, wow you're in a committed long distance relationship. Yeah. Hey, hey
[00:16:35] There's a bunch of yeah great reference did did you even watch blossom was that show even on when you were a kid?
[00:16:41] My ambiolic the hats. Yeah, I think I saw a couple
[00:16:47] Thing you don't even know you're talking that that that ladies on fucking
[00:16:50] The big bang thing. Yeah, she's like very Jewish. She's the woman there. She plays the woman nerd
[00:16:56] Yeah, it's it's an important lesson for people to learn this that women can be
[00:17:00] Character that just like talks like this Sheldon they have one that no no there's been off show now the young
[00:17:06] She'll do there's one that has just a list I think that that's got to be the worst idea for a show of all time unless
[00:17:12] How about this? I mean everyone will watch it obviously, but maybe it's like looper where the regular Sheldon comes back and kills the baby Sheldon
[00:17:20] I'm just gonna make a show without permission and pay for the ads on the bus and it's me doing the bowtie thing
[00:17:27] You know like young Sheldon, but then the name of the show is the guy that molested
[00:17:38] Guy that molested Sheldon following young Sheldon
[00:17:45] The trials and tribulations of being the man that's sexually gratified himself inside of young Sheldon's ass
[00:17:57] Holy fuck that's good shit dude. I wonder if that is primo good shit
[00:18:01] How much do you think a fucking bus bus ad cost just one while we need is one bus really yeah, right for the pick
[00:18:14] Hey, I got it. I got a I got a fucking I
[00:18:21] That lets me know they will probably do it for a little bit of scratch. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's true
[00:18:26] That'd be a cool speed like speed three like a acidic school
[00:18:32] Like you want to put the sign up saying you're a Sheldon
[00:18:35] Busy, I'm busy by job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah between each other subtitles is Sheldon Jewish
[00:18:48] Do you do for what 30 bucks? Yeah, maybe
[00:18:56] I love the idea you're to deal with the acidic guys and you're like we'll give you 1.6 million dollars
[00:19:02] You know for the building what about a sixty seven million dollar cash deal we get these three buildings on this block
[00:19:11] How about the sixty seven million in the one dollar?
[00:19:39] Well, you know, I'm still I'm fucking so cracking myself up about the acidic fire fire
[00:19:47] I don't know if I ever did that on the podcast why don't you tell the good folks my favorite bit the last funny bit
[00:19:53] I wrote before I quit stand up about the acidic fire department showing up well that you to clarify they have their own
[00:20:00] Paramedics they have their own cops. Yeah, they'll have their own fire department
[00:20:04] Fire department shows up and they just have a garden hose and then if one of them starts spraying and the older ones like
[00:20:30] I mean they're ethnically like I'm to his the his seeds in South Brooklyn in particular are like
[00:20:39] Shitty landlords. Yeah, boy. They're a horrible service. They're bad people. Yeah
[00:20:43] I know yeah, and it's like a fucking insular community that like a piece of rape's all the yeah, yeah
[00:20:49] Now all those people are like I mean the church they're oppressed by the church. It's like yeah fun. It's not the same
[00:20:55] I it's also funny. It's a funny voice great voice
[00:21:00] That's probably part of the reason anti-Semitism is like so has spread so easily
[00:21:06] It's a fun voice to do. Yeah. No, I think it's because we wash our hands more than everyone else
[00:21:12] We get the black plague like everyone else and you didn't get the black play no because everyone was eating well
[00:21:18] Yeah, Jews didn't work they didn't none of them had jobs. They had all the money so
[00:21:26] The factories that were owned by the Jews instead of paying people they were giving them the play
[00:21:31] Because they would people would ask for raises and so
[00:21:42] Razorblades, hey, please inject yourself with these serene
[00:21:47] Reinvented yeah, those were not around during the black play. Yeah
[00:21:52] Yeah, those guys in south Williams were like a very particular
[00:21:56] sect of hussard and they like they like don't believe in Israel and they like oh nice
[00:22:01] Yeah, well that makes two of us, huh? They're like they they uh they think that only Jews are only supposed to exist in
[00:22:10] South Williams because like part of Judaism is like you have to steal other now
[00:22:14] You have to like navigate Judaism within the confines of like whatever
[00:22:29] It's sure you know they think that you they can only have their own country right no host. Yeah, right
[00:22:41] It's left alone to its own devices. They're clever disease
[00:22:56] Mad at Kissinger for getting laid too much
[00:23:03] Fucks yeah Kissinger fucked. That's so annoying. That is our fucks. I guess that's true. Yeah, he's hideous
[00:23:10] He's a horrible person horrible person. Yeah
[00:23:14] Yeah, yeah, apparently yeah, that's my favorite thing about like the resistance is like yeah
[00:23:20] Nobody wants to fuck Donald Trump and it's like yeah, there's plenty of fucking idiots to do sure
[00:23:24] He could even if he wasn't the president he just having you continue to fuck and have a better life than you
[00:23:31] Yeah, a hundred percent is he's a rich person
[00:23:33] He's just rich as hell even if he has half as much money as he says he does if you if you have like just ten thousand dollars
[00:23:44] If you're holding even clog accumulated ten thousand dollars if you have ten thousand dollars in your bank account
[00:23:50] Yeah, I mean that shit. That's a lot of money rich. Yeah. Yeah, I
[00:23:57] Yeah, I know it seems like we're rich guys, but yeah, I'll save money
[00:24:01] Yeah, I mean all that money goes to bullshit that I purchase
[00:24:05] Mm-hmm, so it's not like I actually get any of that money. No if you look at it that way
[00:24:09] Yeah, that's a good way to really get any of the money from you don't you understand
[00:24:13] I'm like incapable of saving money. Yeah
[00:24:16] Smart way. Oh, yeah, I spent a lot of it on cocaine to be honest with you. Yep
[00:24:21] Which I found clever ways to write off on my taxes. Oh interesting. Yeah
[00:24:29] Because I haven't checked with an accountant, but no it sounds right if I if I can get myself diagnosed with clinical cocaine addiction
[00:24:37] Yes, it's a disease and the medicine is
[00:24:41] More Cabo it's like a star of a fever or a feet of fever star of a cold
[00:24:49] Yeah being gay star of yourself to afford more cocaine. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've been done blowing a while actually wait
[00:25:00] A lot of people think that we we're doing it on the podcast every episode
[00:25:04] Yeah, it's because I always have like some kind of sinus infection
[00:25:07] Yeah, I know I mean we've only done it when we've explicitly said we are on cocaine, right?
[00:25:12] Yeah, we've only done like two two times two or three. Yeah
[00:25:17] Cocaine cowboys one and two now. There was another time. Oh, there was a half one where we sort of did a little
[00:25:25] That doesn't count anyway, it doesn't count. Yeah, so sorry to burst but yeah speaking of being rich though
[00:25:30] We did hit 20 G's a month. Yeah, it's out salute to the hard cocked. Yeah. Thank you guys
[00:25:36] I see so much and like I swear to God. I know I keep saying that there's a web series coming
[00:25:48] The fuck you talk no, we don't we don't today is Saturday is Saturday it's Saturday at 8 fucking PM you retakes Friday
[00:25:58] I mean Sunday, I don't know whatever man. I tried to pull the Jada kiss on you J
[00:26:06] That's what Jada kiss is when you lied to somebody about what they really that's where he got his name
[00:26:10] That's a judic kiss. Oh damn bitch a man a bandicist a man the man the hugging kiss
[00:26:18] Most salmon. Yeah, it's Jada kiss there
[00:26:24] Hey everybody. I'm looking for a Jada kiss
[00:26:37] Listen you piece of shit you little fucking faggot if I ever find you I'm gonna fucking
[00:26:46] Fucking let's the slurs fly that'd be cool Simpsons with cussing and slurs it would be the
[00:26:57] That's actually what the web series is way that way to blow it and thanks to everyone
[00:27:02] That's the web series that would be good me editing customers into the sims Barney. Yeah
[00:27:17] Now the web series is I've taken all of the characters from the part SaaS from the check each
[00:27:32] Sounds like Elvis it's a different Elvis
[00:27:35] Okay, I got that out of my system. Did you I fucked this ass alright now stuff for sure
[00:27:44] So yeah, I think I'm gonna change my name to stop Rosevelle hell hell how do you have to?
[00:27:50] Yeah, how do I do that how do I change my $30,000?
[00:27:54] I'm joining the Israeli Defense Forces and no longer on the podcast everyone needs at 30 G's
[00:27:59] You both should become they're sending me straight to Gaza Nicholas Velmullen and Adam Velfriedland
[00:28:07] No, I'm gonna do something if we get to 40 which should be so much money
[00:28:13] That would be I got to get some kind of surgery. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah elective surgery. Yeah
[00:28:20] I'll get a big I'll get a blonde be dumb surgery. I'll get a blonde curly weave your ears switched
[00:28:31] Fucking upside down ears now, I don't know about surgery. We'll be a fun thing to do
[00:28:38] Hmm like more tracksuits get get your cut your
[00:28:42] Leg shot just get a prosthetic on all the dumb shit that I could do get a prosthetic leg for fun. I get a dolambo
[00:28:51] Lambo to record the podcast it. I want to stretch Lambo
[00:28:57] I'm gonna get an eventadore and then have a limo company stretch it. Mm-hmm. You know way to that with limo companies do
[00:29:05] Well, you go to stretch cards. Yeah, you got they take cars and then well like limo saw them in half
[00:29:10] Little bit limo companies will take frames and extend them and then they really it's a custom carriage companies
[00:29:15] Didn't know that like if you ever see like a Hummer, you know like limo or whatever. Yeah, we get a PT cruiser limo
[00:29:21] Probably yeah, that'd be cool. Let me tell you can stretch any frame
[00:29:25] You can like so every any frame is kind of like Adam's asshole. Yeah kind of because you can stretch it easily
[00:29:31] Yeah, and everyone's often cuz my asshole is surprising
[00:29:35] You know a stretch limo is different than a little turn to form a limo is just a car
[00:29:39] A stretch limo is the one people think of when they think of a little what the fuck what's a limo a limo is just a black car
[00:29:49] Those little limos a town car is a limousine no it is a stretch a stretch limousine is no is a limousine that's been
[00:29:56] What yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah, I know right a limo is just a black car
[00:30:02] Well, it's a good, you know it's a big kind of town car or something
[00:30:05] Hmm. It's got let you know like land now. I don't know bars on the back. I don't I don't accept any car with land out bars
[00:30:12] What's a land out bar? It's not land out bar. Yeah, so land out bar is like that fucking S thing that's on the side of herses. Oh
[00:30:19] I know she's talking about it's a decorative feature. Mm-hmm. I don't know I
[00:30:25] Would like to get like that in concludes the automotive chat portion of the show have you guys ever gotten head in a limousine?
[00:30:31] No done anything cool in a limousine have you no I would have loved to I've gotten head in a
[00:30:41] That's not a limousine and also a Toyota
[00:30:45] I've gotten ahead in cars, but that's not
[00:30:50] It's not a fucking limousine. All right. What kind of cars have you gotten heading?
[00:31:01] I've self-sucked every car I've ever driven and then any car any girl I've dated is driven sure Wow any car I
[00:31:08] Think yeah pretty much yeah every every every time. I mean not like you know you a fucking the car guy
[00:31:14] Sometimes yeah when you live with your parents. Yeah
[00:31:17] You're a teen fucking in the car is big. I didn't fuck is a teen. Yeah, so I know I don't know what it's like yeah
[00:31:23] When the sweet pleasures are like there's always sides getting molested when did you lose your vision?
[00:31:28] You're like young right I guess that's a
[00:31:31] Boy that's yeah for a boy. I remember girls
[00:31:35] 15 and I got fucked by a 22 year old yeah, I'm really college. Yeah
[00:31:43] There was guy I get the fuck there were girls that I would hook up with that were like also fucking like 21 22
[00:31:51] Jesus Christ and it is like you know yeah, they have a red fireman and shit. It's like
[00:32:04] Well those guys always suck they're like they're fucking stupid shit. Yeah, I go to high school parties
[00:32:09] Yeah, they're like yeah, I'm like fuck. Yeah, you got to be a fucking extreme losing a 22 year old looking up with like
[00:32:17] Raver you know 15 year olds Jesus Christ
[00:32:26] Zavs like this is the thing I like about these high school dropout girls the fatter I get
[00:32:37] Was speaking of people that fouled were you when I fucked yeah 20 20 I didn't fuck to late in the game
[00:32:45] I was I was 17. Nice almost 18. I got I like I am 16 11
[00:33:00] All right, you know I think about the other day is
[00:33:03] Did I said the sound of music sorry did every tell the story the first time I got jerked off and the cum splashed right?
[00:33:20] That was when you thought the show actually had to be about come
[00:33:25] You confused me trying to come up with the worst possible name for
[00:33:31] Actual we do worse than come down honestly I've come around on come town. I think it's the best fucking yeah
[00:33:37] Because people don't understand how fucking prescient I am
[00:33:40] Yeah, okay, I am what you call a genius
[00:33:46] I am what they would refer to as a brilliant man
[00:33:51] Who has the best ideas when it comes to marketing and advertising and everyone should just trust me
[00:33:56] You should also hire me to write copy for your company. That's right. Yeah, welcome to
[00:34:02] Jiffy loop that would be cool. You're gonna do change your oil yourself. You're a fucking mongoloid. Let's get on in here dummy
[00:34:09] Why don't we start like quit comedy and then start an advertising?
[00:34:18] We should be like mad man first thing we have to do fuck our secretary exactly well that's okay step one
[00:34:24] It's okay. It's good a little expensive Nick has to fall off the wagon
[00:34:27] We got to get 12 get what absolutely $12,000 shoots all of us gray suits gray suits. Yeah gray 12,000
[00:34:35] You know how many naps non-draper takes
[00:34:37] Ton of naps the redhead big titties. Yeah, then I want to fuck what I do. I'm Don Draper
[00:34:43] That's a lot of ladies. I'm Don't don't we never gonna see those tits, dude. Yes. I will it's never gonna happen
[00:34:49] Christina Hendricks Hendricks. Yeah, they're never gonna show me Henry. Oh
[00:34:54] Guys, can I can I say something here? I would love to have some Christina Hendricks dude. That is a wise
[00:35:00] You he's lying. That's why people listen to show for those style I'm not lying. I do want to have sex with
[00:35:09] Dude for anyone listening stop. I saw it was sitting on his hand and his fingers were crossed dude shut up
[00:35:15] I was crossing him about something else. Yeah, you're
[00:35:26] You know what I wish sometimes that you were straight
[00:35:31] Know that you were you were serious about wanting to fuck Christina Hendricks dude. I am dude
[00:35:41] But you're lying about it. I don't like liars. I don't like schemers and I don't like it. I'm not scheming for scheming
[00:35:48] And you're okay, you're descended from schemers. You are so funny. Yeah, and that's why I try extra hard not
[00:35:53] There's a character on the Thomas the tank engine show named skimmer George Carlin
[00:35:57] No named schemer. This is character named schemer. Who's a Jewish train? No, he's old Auschwitz
[00:36:03] He's like a sleazy guy, but he looks exactly like Ben O'Brien. Oh, yeah, you're saying about that guy that's schemer
[00:36:10] Yeah, his name is mr. Schemer and he looks exactly like Ben O'Brien. Yeah, maybe Ben should start scheming
[00:36:16] Yeah, I want that asshole to come move to New York. It's a good song stay scheming
[00:36:24] Kobe my n-word was it what's the line? I hate it had to be him. I hate it had it had it
[00:36:30] Yeah, it's like no Kobe wasn't with me shooting. Yeah, Kobe. No, it's like I hate it had to be Kobe. Why dude?
[00:36:38] It's a good it's a good man's rights mess the idea that Drake is
[00:36:42] Really said it's Kobe. Oh, yeah, that really does look like Ben with it looks exactly like that
[00:36:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, staaaace bitch. Ben's a good looking guy. He looks a little bit like Justin long
[00:36:52] You heard it here first folks. Adam wants to have six. You know, that's why soul is bit
[00:36:59] straight up steal it a little later. I stole it cuz I want his attention like the next episode word for
[00:37:07] You'll never let me live. I do brought it up. We're gonna try and allow Tim Dillon to sexually assault you
[00:37:13] Yeah, we have to have Tim as a guest. He wants to fuck. No, we're just we're gonna roofie Adam and let Tim
[00:37:18] Oh, and he wakes up getting fucked by getting sucked off. I might do that. That would actually be funny to me
[00:37:24] It would be fine. It's Tim Dillon raped me. Yeah, yeah, seriously. I would have funny
[00:37:30] Okay, maybe that fuck's your ass, but sucks your dick who cares. Yeah, it would fuck you up
[00:37:34] How could he suck my dick if I'm sleeping? You'd be permanently fucked up
[00:37:38] It wouldn't it wouldn't fuck me up cuz I'm a I'm modern. I'm a modern
[00:37:47] Modern mask you giving us permission to do it. No, you don't have permission, but I would be able to where are you
[00:37:55] No, I'm not please if you permission to be molested by a 400
[00:37:59] Please what you said please. I don't know. I appreciate you being so what's that? Can we?
[00:38:09] Maybe if you give me money years, okay, how much 20 dollars? What's the new Star Wars movie come out?
[00:38:15] It's they can't find a director. I think JJ Abrams is back on what happened to Ryan Johnson
[00:38:21] You're just writing it Ryan Johnson wrote it the the other guy got fired
[00:38:26] It was came back got fired for molesting a child. I was gonna ask that as a joke, but then I was like yeah, probably
[00:38:34] No, didn't he just get fired creative differences or some shit whatever
[00:38:37] I don't get how that even works. That must be so crazy to like get fired in the middle of production movie. Yeah
[00:38:44] Yeah, I never did it on the show before but if you haven't seen lost sold a Richard Stanley
[00:38:49] Yeah, that is a fantastic document. It's really rich Stanley. Who's that? He's you
[00:38:55] Oh, he's the guy that wrote island is it dr. Maro star man?
[00:39:01] No, no, that's Paul Stanley now. That's a guy's got classic game out
[00:39:07] Classic game like lipstick. No, dude the rest of them wearing lipstick too. He's got that big way
[00:39:12] She and Simmons big old Trump dude big old Trump
[00:39:15] G7 sucks my dick. Yeah, it's sick. Although I do I buy I bang with some kiss stuff dude
[00:39:20] Every once in a while throw a little kiss on how about Jada kiss kiss? Oh
[00:39:27] That's now that now we're on to something Jada kiss and kiss makeup
[00:39:32] Yep, so what's you think kiss is pissed off at insane clown posse for like stealing their thing interesting interesting
[00:39:39] Everyone's like an insane clown posse fan. No, it's kind of annoying
[00:39:43] Yeah, cuz they're um they're like their tight trunk and what just stands for what again?
[00:40:00] What sound like is that huh? What's the small woo?
[00:40:06] I do apologize for that slur but I saw an opportunity and I had to slam dunk that baby from half course listen
[00:40:18] You can use it strategically and clever Peter, you know, I think only one that was that was a razor sharp stripe
[00:40:24] Dude, that was a laser beautiful stuff laser. That was really great man. Ladies. Congratulations
[00:40:32] That's my future is being a middle-aged guy that's like look I didn't mean to say the end word there
[00:40:37] But then I have this with that accent for whatever reason I just you know I saw my
[00:40:41] Opportunity I said babe babe. I'm gonna get in that I'm gonna say the end
[00:40:47] You know, I know you're usually in a business deal or worse thing you could possibly do a city
[00:40:53] A laser laser guided opportunity the city and we're there in a clever way. Yep away. They look this is shale in the business
[00:41:04] She'll see you're working in a shells opportunity shells
[00:41:21] You know what Airbnb stands for no, please don't leave the meeting
[00:41:26] Down to yeah 15 pilots for $25 a quarter look I've been doing these sales my entire life
[00:41:32] And I tell you if you got a laser guided opportunity to drop a couple of who are slurs in there
[00:41:44] What's that your patino by the end by the end of it who knows who I am
[00:42:00] Started off just as a rich Miller impression. Oh, you guys know rich no good guy kind of a weirdo
[00:42:07] Dennis Miller's brother. He books much economy
[00:42:13] No, I would be surprised if rich Miller likes Trump. I'm sure he hates him
[00:42:19] But he is like a weird. He's just so kind of a weird intense guy. Yeah. Yeah
[00:42:24] Do you remember when they tried to get Dennis Miller to do Monday night football and he was like I was fucking
[00:42:30] Like that reminds me of that reminds me of wet Hannibal tried to cross the Alps anyway, a third
[00:42:36] Is it your Dennis Miller impression? Hey everybody is big Dennis Miller. I'm trying to do stupid
[00:42:45] You're really bad at impressions. I can do like a friend of Eric. Yeah, I'm gonna do Eric. Yeah, do Eric
[00:42:57] Okay, there's this bitch who's she's like live just Spokane
[00:43:00] She's ahead of okay. She's there's no white. There's no black people Spokane
[00:43:06] But so she's there's bitch was head of the NWAC
[00:43:11] But she was white dude, she was white ladies and gentlemen Eric Trump Adams best friend. Yeah good friend good friend
[00:43:22] Is actually a Baron Trump or as I like to call him the expert
[00:43:26] Mm-hmm. Yeah, the expert in what I love that name. You got the t-shirt. It's like Aaron, but with a B
[00:43:32] You know what I said to myself. I said Aaron. There's a great name
[00:43:35] It's got too many a's in it a a a R. Oh and it bothers me
[00:43:39] So I changed the a first day to the second best lady you can get big and I said that's his name Baron
[00:43:45] That's good. That's where I came from that is very good
[00:43:48] Baron Trump sucks. That's the terror Baron is a horrible name. He's retarded. It's like King
[00:43:56] You're like a guy, right? Yeah, it's like it's landed gentry. Yes. Yes some type of landed gentry
[00:44:04] Mm-hmm. I wish I was landed. I wish I had a big fucking plot with a manor with some 500
[00:44:09] You're how much serfs on a family man or no nobody there. No caretaker. The place is gone to shit. I'm insane
[00:44:16] I love you the whole thing filled with urine
[00:44:20] I go into town with my dick hang out my sweatpants. I do know who I am
[00:44:27] Just get really removed from the post office for eating stamps
[00:44:31] We're gonna we're going back to that with Montgomery gentry rich motherfuckers gentry
[00:44:36] We're gonna have their own little compounds and they're gonna make us fucking you know till their soil and shit
[00:44:41] You're rich now, dude. We're all rich. We're rich, but we're gonna be we're gonna have serfs
[00:44:46] Yeah, and we're gonna get prima nocked a dude. Yeah
[00:44:49] No, I mean we started this show because we're a vow hardcore socialist and we believed in wealth redistribution now
[00:44:56] We're not anymore. No all the wealth was redistributed to me. That's right. Which is what I wanted as a social
[00:45:05] The rich have too much money. I should have all of the money instead of them. Didn't you understand? That's what socialism is
[00:45:10] Yeah, is when you want to take the 1% and then take all their money away and give it to you personally
[00:45:16] Yes, and then you then you get to be the rich and everybody gets turned being the rich guy and it rules
[00:45:23] Yeah, we got another what like two years tops. That would be a funny man
[00:45:29] Of of of wealth redistribution everyone gets to be rich for a year
[00:45:33] Yeah, you get fucking a fifth like a literal 15 minute window to have a billion dollars and do whatever you can with it
[00:45:40] And if you snooze through it shit, it could come in anytime. You might as well not fall asleep
[00:45:44] That's why everyone you do cook for a year
[00:45:47] You got to stay up because you never know you never know when you're gonna get your number pulled
[00:45:51] It could be two o'clock the morning you wake up and there's a text from you know
[00:45:55] One of those government amber alert numbers and it says the billion dollars is now yours and then you have 15 minutes
[00:46:00] And then 15 minutes. What if everything's closed. It's expired. What if what if I can Taco Bell's Amazon
[00:46:06] Dot-com that's what I would do Taco Bell if I got the if I got the
[00:46:11] Whoa good with dying one billion dollars. I think it's steak at a dime. You know what I would buy
[00:46:15] You know what I would buy first breast implants
[00:46:18] Astrogate a bunch of yeah a full horn punch. Oh full horn more treatment. Yeah two pussies
[00:46:29] Goes out I'm getting fucked really hard more of a girl. I was gonna say I
[00:46:36] Second put you a little glass case in case they put the first one on wrong
[00:46:40] He's never seen a pussy. It's like we're five-year-old things. It is. Oh, yeah
[00:46:44] Yeah, I got in the front of the Sun's yep say I was gonna say it is lower than you think that how about how about this?
[00:46:49] No one cares what you're gonna say I was gonna say a waterpark that only the three of us
[00:46:57] That's one every slide. Yeah, that's the waterpark. I'm gonna shit dude
[00:47:01] I'm gonna be like Adam go down first and then wait for me with my mouth open
[00:47:07] Keep your mouth open. I don't understand why you're asking me to do this, but okay close your eyes bitch
[00:47:12] We're coming just open your mouth at the bottom of the slide
[00:47:16] And my turn just slowly goes into your mouth, dude, we deserve every penny we
[00:47:28] I'm gonna buy a Schlitter bond Schlitter bond. What's that? It's a waterpark in Texas where you have to be Christian to go in
[00:47:36] Yeah, dude. I only know from like travel channel America's best water parks
[00:47:40] You know and it's always never once what was founded by escaped SS office. Yeah
[00:47:48] Schlitter bond Texas is very there's one slide that just goes right into little little camp right in other like
[00:47:59] This one's even more fun is what they tell you water parks are so fucking fun, dude
[00:48:03] I want to go to I they're probably summers over. Yeah, we miss the opportunity
[00:48:07] I went to six flags this year, but you didn't go to hurricane. Oh, you lost your dumb fucking wall
[00:48:11] Look at bitch. No, not like a bitch like a big dumb bitch
[00:48:15] You know what I lost my wallet and then guess who had an excuse to stay at the park all day
[00:48:19] I know because we fucking waited for your eyes to record that day. That shit was great
[00:48:25] I lost it first ride and then it was like
[00:48:28] You know what? I'm a free man. I don't have to think about things like credit or bank accounts. Yeah, dude
[00:48:34] It's like when all that metal come goes down. Nio's throat in the matrix
[00:48:39] What the fuck was that scene that didn't really make sense that the first one
[00:48:42] Yeah, the first one where they like taking them out of the matrix and all that metal come comes out of the mirror
[00:48:48] It's the thing about like, I don't know. I think it's like a trans thing that the walk house
[00:48:54] siblings now they're one house. I bet I think they're just the walk house keys now. They're both women. I don't know
[00:49:00] But they really like hard-style techno. Oh, yeah, and dreadlocks. They really like dreadlocks
[00:49:06] That's strange that want that they're both trans and then one took like it's just what's interesting took a cut another couple
[00:49:16] It's interesting your collaborative partner probably like your best friend. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You think they fuck each other. Yeah for sure
[00:49:26] This is the only way to get out of the matrix is if we did we've crossed the final line and become
[00:49:37] But then we can finally escape this prison of reality
[00:49:46] What if that was their big problem with the world as they know it is they don't know karate and that was at the fantasy of the matrix
[00:49:53] Is it like you know, what are we gonna escape the the monotony of like, you know day-to-day life?
[00:50:00] It's about not knowing karate and not being able to jump over
[00:50:04] So wait you remember that part where you like downloading karate movie
[00:50:09] Download getting a big dick and sucking your own dick and stuff. No because it's your residual self image. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:50:15] Nick is right. No, you can't really fast answer. You can explain that in the movement. You can't suck yourself off though
[00:50:20] That's a move. That's not getting your dick off. You could maybe download how to suck yourself off
[00:50:25] I'm gonna say I'm gonna say yes. Oh, you're gonna be down sucking yourself off easily. What what about eating your own ass?
[00:50:31] I don't know. It's your residual self image. I don't think I have the
[00:50:36] Dixterity. I don't think anyway, probably there's probably one guy out there. There's a guy in India. He was eating his ass right now
[00:50:42] Yeah, yeah, please don't have some change
[00:50:46] He's just a homeless. No, no, no, he's like an
[00:50:53] No, he's a street performer. He's dick kind of like gobbling around. All right. You all know what time it is
[00:51:02] Jesus Christ these teens need to be stopped. I
[00:51:07] Think the ass eating guys probably in the some monastery somewhere. Mm-hmm. Everyone worships him. It says he's reached the highest level of
[00:51:17] Dharma or whatever the storming Greg the Darwin craze the highest level. That's Nick's favorite show. Is that Jenna Elfman? Yeah, it is
[00:51:30] That's not true. I wouldn't fuck me me from Drew Carey. Yes, you would. Yeah, you would fact realistically. That's the only one
[00:51:36] I wouldn't you imagine how awful that would look I'm imagining you fucking me me and what popped into my head right away is the pink
[00:51:46] Elephant's on parade song from dumbbell
[00:51:51] What is that that part fucked me up dude
[00:51:58] Me too me to pink elements on parade. Yes scene scaring me as a kid. That's so scary. Yeah, our fears
[00:52:04] Maybe this is the secret to our friendship. Yeah, our fears are packs on is
[00:52:13] Bambi and Lion King like with parents dying. I mean Disney movies are sad like but the but that's different those are sad
[00:52:22] Girl podcast today. We're talking about Disney. What's up? That's a fucked up
[00:52:30] Stop. I'm sorry. Excuse me, but this is a man's podcast. I'm gonna take another 10 minutes. We don't bring things up like Disney
[00:52:41] Self-sucking in the matrix look it's about doing deals. Oh, yeah, you slide in one of them razor shop
[00:52:46] One of them stings. I had two clients in we were meeting a Panera the other day
[00:52:52] You know, I'm trying to I'm trying to work on this deal. I told him look I'm one of the top salesman at this company
[00:52:59] You know, we're about to go out of business. I don't know why anyone's hiring a commercial printing company
[00:53:05] Stage of the game why we even have print the salesman for this thing
[00:53:08] But I tell you I'm 52 years old. I've been divorced for eight months and I have been drinking again
[00:53:17] You know, I'm sitting there with the clients and then I realized that I haven't gone to sleep for three and a half days
[00:53:24] I'm in Panera bread screaming spic at the top of my lungs
[00:53:28] At the at the at the self-water machine they replace the employees with iPads and I'm still being anti-Hispanic
[00:53:36] Even though they're not people anymore. I'm saying race of stuff to the iPads and you know, I closed the deal
[00:53:42] Like I always do I'm the killer and I said take that Deborah you fucking whore
[00:53:48] You think I can't sell commercial printers you fucking slut
[00:53:52] You gotta go fuck you gotta go fuck your own brother
[00:54:01] To go have sex with your own fucking brother
[00:54:04] You fucking bitch and by that point the police are there
[00:54:14] Fuck you guys a fun care. It got bad. That's not a middle-aged man that are just that unraveling barely fucking hang
[00:54:23] When I worked at the car dealership there was a guy Kevin Gillespie
[00:54:26] Who would fight go against system using the NATO alphabet on the phone with
[00:54:31] Potential customers, which was is the most embarrassing shit
[00:54:34] That's I think I told this about this guy already on the podcast. I don't know be like oh, yes, sir
[00:54:39] I hear him one time he goes yeah, and he would stay up all night drinking and reading model train forums
[00:54:48] And he goes yeah, he picks up the phone one time and he's like, yes, sir
[00:54:51] That's Kevin Gillespie. That's golf India Lima Lima echo, you know, I'm like spelling out the fucking shit and then here I'm go
[00:54:58] Me personally no I was not in the military, but one of my good friends was
[00:55:10] Gillespie yeah, yeah, he was divorced. Oh, yeah, Disney movies were just don't get married dude
[00:55:17] Huh just don't get fucking married. I'm gonna get married dude. I believe in love golf
[00:55:22] If you're gonna if you're gonna get married, you know, you should count on
[00:55:26] I want to be a stay at home father at some point. You're not gonna be a stay-dont father
[00:55:30] Your wife's gonna fucking leave you and take the kids and you're gonna be a stay at home
[00:55:35] You know, I don't know a guy that loses the little dwindling money. He has on online sports batting
[00:55:42] Father's you see a lot of them during the day walking around Brooklyn. I want to be a stay-at-home father
[00:55:48] You see a lot of them. They're like wearing the clash t-shirt. I have it in me. I'm not gonna be one of those guys
[00:55:53] Yeah, they're kind of pathetic. Yeah, because they're like I'm cool. You're not they kind of figured it out
[00:55:58] This is a Miami Herald headline bad news for islands blasted by Irma here comes another potential hurricane damn
[00:56:05] That's tough. Yeah, that's it's just a funny headline
[00:56:12] Clear he doesn't have empathy for those people. I mean it's fun. You know, it's just what was the country that got destroyed completely
[00:56:31] It's a hurricane Jose there's a resilience to say that I'm zas it bounces back from adversity maybe emotionally
[00:56:42] Blowout at 60 miles per hour. Yep, it's just tread
[00:56:46] It's left and right. Yeah, dude. You ever seen an old turtle neck. You better pull that ass over to the fucking emergency
[00:56:55] Your fucking fingers an old stretched out turtleneck dude kind of prolapsed
[00:57:01] It's like a collapsed circus tent. Are you guys gonna wear a turtleneck's this winter? You got a turtleneck hanging out of your ass
[00:57:09] No, we're not gonna wear your asshole around our necks. I
[00:57:12] Think I'm going back to turtle next this winter first of all you never left bitch
[00:57:16] You're a hundred percent a turtleneck bitch fucking turtleneck
[00:57:20] I just might get more turtlenecks. Yeah, you definitely rock turtlenecks. Whatever keeps your neck warm shut up
[00:57:25] Why would you not keep your neck cuz if fucking is constricting and it looks stupid? Well for some type does like stupid
[00:57:33] What kinds of next muscular next is that what you're talking about
[00:57:37] Don remember I was a CCS pizza one time and there was a fuck of it middle-aged dad shitty like gray mustache
[00:57:46] You know and he was there with his like
[00:57:50] You know weekend son, you know, obviously didn't have full custody of and oh, yeah, CCS is a number one
[00:57:57] location for fucking divorce father China splurge sports on Fox had on shitty baseball cap and he said yeah
[00:58:05] The $5 buffet entry to take you and he's just iceberg lettuce
[00:58:11] Yeah, and I was like just eavesdropping and he's like you know
[00:58:14] It's kid advice and the kids just like blank face, you know some toe-headed, you know more
[00:58:22] My dad's is like and what I would do is I would open up a restaurant and you call it something like mom's home cooking
[00:58:30] Right and you just serve home cooked meals
[00:58:37] He's like telling his son his dream is to open a shitty
[00:58:46] That's what people really want is a fucking it's like, you know what because that's what people want is a home cooked meal
[00:58:52] That's just no it isn't yeah, that's why they go out to a restaurant, but also that's like a hundred restaurants
[00:59:01] There's nothing and this is supposed to be is like, you know fucking that's what I'm gonna do son boy
[00:59:07] If I had my dr. I never will because I don't have a good job
[00:59:12] That's so sad to listen your dad's dreams. Oh, my dad hasn't had dreams in fucking yeah
[00:59:18] I'm glad my dad gave up on a stream. Oh shit. It's San Genaro this weekend. Oh, yeah in Williamsburg
[00:59:25] Yeah, I'm going to like my cousin's and birthday party in San in San Genaro. Yeah, we're going on in Williamsburg
[00:59:35] Lillie we talk about will there's one in south or not?
[00:59:40] I was the festival saying everywhere isn't it like one community. Hold on a second. I gotta blow my nose all right
[00:59:46] What's the name of the guy that he kills in the godfather part two during San Genaro the black hand
[00:59:56] I just watched that shit. I watched it. Yeah, so good. They were playing the godfather one and the godfather two
[01:00:03] So good. I spent the night just watching that shit, dude. Yeah, who do you think we are in the godfather?
[01:00:09] I'm Michael. I'm Michael. I'm Michael. You're afraid of but gayer
[01:00:14] What do you mean afraid of well first of all Fredo go sunny?
[01:00:17] No, son fucking stavas clamenza, which is well, that's just you're just being you're just profiling
[01:00:27] Blokey clamenza is like the coolest character. He does rock. He knows how to do everything
[01:00:32] I like Clementa. Oh, you know, it's out of murder people be cool about it
[01:00:36] And he knows how to like cook well. He does cook well
[01:00:40] Clemens is the best of all of them. I'm Robert Duvall
[01:00:43] No, I'm the lawyer you're from your first wall. You're 100% you are not a single character
[01:00:52] On any of them no, that's not fair. Yes, you're not a single one of those. That's no fair
[01:00:56] You are not participating in this do you remember? Okay?
[01:00:59] How about you are five old from five old goes west?
[01:01:04] Superimposed into the godfather and everyone in the movie is mad about it
[01:01:08] No, you're fucking your their sister that gets beaten by that one guy. No, she's cool
[01:01:15] She's not I was about to say that he's he's her, but he's not
[01:01:20] Cads are fighting who's more who's the biggest bitch ass? I mean Fredo is the biggest Fredo. I knew it was you
[01:01:27] Yeah, that was fucked up gets capped dude. Yeah, spoiler alert dude. Did you just tell people did you just ruin?
[01:01:34] I know I want to watch godfather, too. I watched it actually like a month ago
[01:01:37] I was like Jonesing Bobby do you know we're watching the fight tonight?
[01:01:43] I'm watching glove converse. I go home. Yeah, I'm sleepy. Oh, come on. Go to the story. Let's watch your story
[01:01:51] Why I don't know. Yeah, why do you go I got an a story for you one time there's a boy named Adam
[01:01:59] I think it's a bedtime story because it involves a bed
[01:02:05] Yeah in a good time. Was it a better was it just the hallway in a fucking yeah the hallway in an elementary school
[01:02:26] You know you'd be funny if I had the editing skill to do is to take that documentary the hunting ground
[01:02:36] About the rape epidemic and then edit it so that the epidemic is that student athletes are raping Adam
[01:02:43] That would be good. That's not about girls at all. It's that they're like there's a huge that
[01:02:47] One in four student athletes have raped Adam free
[01:02:51] Awesome. Yeah, can you do a lot of work? But the answer is yes, I think it's worth it brother. I can do it
[01:02:58] I don't mean if you you know, I think if you spent your time on that and not the come-town web series
[01:03:05] That could be a part of the come-town web series. That is the web series
[01:03:07] The come-town is all about breaking the rules. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's bad boy
[01:03:11] That's who says that a web series has to have a linear plot or recurring character or even
[01:03:20] Need to make it happen. It could just be a conceptual thing
[01:03:23] That's the thing people don't realize is you've actually been watching the web series for a while
[01:03:27] Yeah, the podcast is our tweets the way no, I mean it kind of just sort of exists in your own head
[01:03:33] I'm on a new level of media now where we have the theater of the mind
[01:03:36] Yes theoretical is true it exists in a sub-sexial
[01:03:41] In a subtextual level because we used to have you know old media where there was a clear delineation between
[01:03:49] You know the content creator you would have television it would be broadcast into your home
[01:03:53] But it was a one-way yes form of communication and then we have social media and stuff and there's more blurred lines and
[01:04:01] Now with podcasts and big blurred lines. I beat off to that. It's not edited. It's live. You know, it's time big time
[01:04:07] I think you're lying. He's lying again. I'm not ever stopped
[01:04:11] Another stop why how dare you totally lying that you beat off to Emily Rata Chausky's naked
[01:04:24] Anyways go back to your thing Nick that you were saying well that I definitely understood I understood it
[01:04:30] No, I'm saying that the podcast does exist and you web series you've already watched it
[01:04:36] Podcast the podcast. Oh the podcast. This is separate from the podcast. Well, this isn't the podcast
[01:04:43] What have we been doing? I mean this is this is just sort of
[01:04:47] This is a nebulous thing. This doesn't really just happens to be a recording. I don't like to see this as the podcast
[01:04:53] Interesting the podcast. Yeah, come down podcast is a better thing
[01:04:57] Mmm right right right right right just somewhere in your conception of you know who we are and what we did right?
[01:05:04] Correct. I agree with that and whatever the podcast is better than this is that with the height of what we're capable of right?
[01:05:11] Exactly. Yes, and this right now is you know, I guess it's something to aspire to this is a this is a
[01:05:17] Performance piece. I like to call phoning it in. Yep, especially
[01:05:22] Especially what you Adam me. Yeah, well can't even be bothered to hold the microphone up