Cum Town | Premium | 09/25/2017
[00:00:00] check check check check I have a hard hard check check check check
[00:00:04] I'm the come town behind the scenes where you get to see check
[00:00:07] did I have a hard the pre-show ritual where we're on my
[00:00:12] whole steel we work on voice cities titties
[00:00:16] we work ah we work on voices before you know we say check
[00:00:22] right oh yeah did we get trembling black eye in yeah
[00:00:25] oh I don't think so yet I love it's a guy it's an
[00:00:29] agendered aging trembling yeah black person about what the
[00:00:34] boys in the neighborhood these boys they don't have any
[00:00:37] respect we used to drive big sedans and sell women and now
[00:00:43] the seven drugs and they don't have any sedans at all
[00:00:49] they used to appreciate sedans a large ass sedan
[00:00:55] that you could be the woman in imagine this a dance so big you could
[00:01:02] wind all the way back and put your hip into a punch
[00:01:06] that don't make sedans like that anymore all my clothes used to be made out of feathers
[00:01:12] my nickname was f-word now that I got weird names like tuna fish
[00:01:24] based god what is that I don't even know what that means
[00:01:30] oh fuck boys I'm tired I fucking a biked over here
[00:01:34] dude I walked and biked I'm a fitness maven now dude
[00:01:37] damn dude I've changed my whole shit you're gonna pass that presidential
[00:01:40] fitness challenge I'm going to brother I want to do the
[00:01:43] ten pull up that's so that's so maven that's so
[00:01:46] maven that's so fitness maven fat so maven
[00:01:50] dude come come next summer dude I'm gonna be out here big arms no titties
[00:01:58] little stomach what's your fastest mile you ever in
[00:02:03] I mean I don't know dude I fucking I checked my mile when I was like
[00:02:08] 19 or 20 yeah because I got in pretty good shape but like with lifting weights
[00:02:12] and stuff and like just cutting calories so I was like yeah I'm probably pretty
[00:02:16] fast now uh-huh and I checked my mile and it was like 745
[00:02:21] and I felt like I was all out sprinting the entire time really and I'm like
[00:02:25] that's atrocious in high school I was okay but yeah I
[00:02:29] probably couldn't be there that's the fastest mile I ever ran it's probably
[00:02:32] 745 really I think mine is like eight and I was cheating
[00:02:36] like I think I was I would sprint and then I would like walk a little bit
[00:02:40] that's not cheating however you can get it done
[00:02:42] um but off the strength of that mile the guy saw the football coach saw me
[00:02:46] sprinting I got recruited for what I was playing
[00:02:50] Saturday no no they swapped me over to football
[00:02:54] they saw your boy with the big haunches tearing up fucking Baltimore Poly
[00:02:58] Technic Institute's gymnasium just sprinting like a fucking beast
[00:03:03] like a fucking horse and he what position are you in uh
[00:03:07] soccer seeking some war he is like the girl I know I but he's
[00:03:12] but I said at the end girl no I said his hardcock is seeking warm
[00:03:17] horse but you said it you said like he said that but he said that
[00:03:21] to correct himself because he thought that I wouldn't hear the horse
[00:03:24] well listen what's what with the point is I'm a horse of hard dick in
[00:03:28] that well you think you're in a room of people that don't know how animals
[00:03:30] fuck you know animals son I've been watching animals
[00:03:34] fuck my entire life um uh yeah so uh I was a defensive I was a
[00:03:42] nose tackle remember that Paris Hilton Nicole Richie show the
[00:03:45] simple life where they yeah I remember that yeah
[00:03:48] yeah I didn't have to I think yeah they're like oh my god this is like
[00:03:52] gross and it's like yeah it is yeah I don't know like what
[00:03:56] what part of I'm sure it's gross to the farm people that have to do it
[00:04:00] it's not like oh boy I can't wait to shove my fist in that cow's pussy
[00:04:05] like that's like the main part of farming and not the most inconvenient part of
[00:04:10] being a farmer rich people have to apply hemorrhoid cream sometimes that
[00:04:14] doesn't mean it's a part of their lifestyle uh that's what I get my butler
[00:04:19] to do with his nose yeah well that's why they call it a butler
[00:04:22] yeah he used to suck people say before they invented toilet paper
[00:04:27] the butler would come in and he would suck the turds out of your ass
[00:04:30] good afternoon sir will you be using the latrine today sir
[00:04:42] ah he just lays on his bag and opens his mouth wide very good sir
[00:04:48] did a very good job um we'll we'll tell a simple life
[00:04:56] yeah I remember there was one thing where they they made two guys kiss
[00:05:00] and if they kissed then Nicole and Paris would kiss yeah that was like when
[00:05:05] two girls kissing was wild still hot dude which is still hot but it'll never
[00:05:09] not be hot remember tattoo that russian oh yeah they're not gonna get us
[00:05:13] they're not gonna get what how did it go they're not gonna get us
[00:05:17] gonna I want and not gonna everything is there
[00:05:20] the thing is it one of them and suck enough my dick suck enough my dick
[00:05:26] fuck my ass damn you're that false it okay
[00:05:34] okay hello dude I'm tattoo okay there's another beat off
[00:05:39] I remember watching that on el this is couch actually as young boys
[00:05:42] do you ever beat off to el this no he's like el this wearing a coconut bra
[00:05:46] el this is like I would never beat off to him do I look like I mean islander
[00:05:52] I want to eat these coca dust it sucks having to wear a bra because I
[00:05:57] always want to eat it I never beat off to el this that video on your phone that
[00:06:03] you lost oh my god you do still have it yeah
[00:06:07] oh I guess you texted to the group yes I did I did
[00:06:11] dude that's one of the funniest his body it's just I have another good one
[00:06:15] it defies proportion yeah he bought he bought it he looks like he looks like
[00:06:18] a female gym teacher yeah he's got a pear shaped body for sure
[00:06:22] he's fat but like you can't tell how fat when he's like a he's like a woman
[00:06:25] from the rent a painting from the renaissance those fat ladies with
[00:06:28] little titties yeah yeah that's that's his fucking like a
[00:06:31] sexual man actually shout out to fat ladies with
[00:06:34] little titties they would just they would paint they would paint men and then
[00:06:37] paint breasts on them really well look at big shot over here got to take a call
[00:06:42] for women to what do you think Adam do I'm gay
[00:06:46] oh it's his sushi Adam ordered sushi yeah there's no point in talking into his
[00:06:50] microphone because this is I don't release this and something will
[00:06:54] happen I'm gay I'm gay I mean I'm straight I'm
[00:06:58] stopped single chain I'm out of it I'm gay
[00:07:01] it's a single you don't think it makes some difference if I talk into it
[00:07:04] zero this microphone when I mix it down it always sounds the same
[00:07:09] well either way I was you guys are game about that was you was picking up your
[00:07:13] microphone to do your voice but it all of all this gets mixed down into one
[00:07:17] channel so yeah it does there's no reason well that's poor audio
[00:07:21] file filing what should I could you know what I could do
[00:07:25] I could create a 5.1 mix just for listening in my apartment a 7.1
[00:07:30] oh cool let's open over all of ourselves talk
[00:07:33] dude I can fucking I can have it I can set it up so that
[00:07:36] I wrap around the room real quick watch watch me
[00:07:41] watch me podcast circles around your bit yeah and then there's Adam crying out
[00:07:45] of the center channel as I fucking fly around the room like a goddamn
[00:07:49] Comanche helicopter that sounds pretty cool the fucking
[00:07:53] getting the fucking riff the big riff artillery guns dude hell yeah I would
[00:07:57] love to be a helicopter pilot you don't have the fucking guts
[00:08:01] yeah you don't have the heart yeah you're yellow but you're a bitch I
[00:08:04] what I don't have is a coordination or the skill
[00:08:08] or the proper background you pass the check that would allow me into the
[00:08:12] training oh the background yeah but you but you so you're you saying you have
[00:08:16] none of that but you have the heart are we too old to join the military
[00:08:20] could I go at 30 just go become private you can join into your like I think
[00:08:24] 38 now you can't they make those motherfuckers are
[00:08:28] are desperate they were in a way yeah they keep sending motherfuckers to
[00:08:31] rack yeah you get you get this you get you get to come home for two and a half
[00:08:35] weeks and it's like all right Fallujah for fucking six years I used to be
[00:08:39] the cutoff used to be 28 and then they raised it to like I think 36
[00:08:45] it's chill what we do the military here we make poor people do it yeah yeah
[00:08:50] say well how often they're gone dude it's like fucked you can't just be gone
[00:08:54] for so long I mean a generation has spent their fucking lives in like a
[00:08:57] some bullshit yeah but those people would have done bullshit anyways
[00:09:02] a lot but they're away from their families and shit dude family if i've
[00:09:05] learned anything from the fast and the furious movies family is the only
[00:09:08] important family is everything that's a good point
[00:09:11] thank that's that's that's what that's that's what the
[00:09:13] that's why did this whole walker die dude come on shows you how fucking well
[00:09:18] family works family no families deal with tragedies but they stick
[00:09:22] together yeah through like when when we kill
[00:09:24] Adam to to reduce the numbers when we start losing we all know it should
[00:09:28] have been Tyrese you know when we start losing uh ratings yeah really why
[00:09:32] couldn't have been Tyrese it should have been he he does everything he can to
[00:09:36] ruin every iteration of those movies he's so real life we're in the movies
[00:09:39] because in real life Paul Walker died because he's fucking he's such he was
[00:09:43] driving back to shit like he's the worst one of all look we watch fast
[00:09:47] eight together it's a collection of these shittyest actors in the entire
[00:09:50] world yeah they're very bad and Tyrese said it about it Michelle Rodriguez is a
[00:09:55] disaster Michelle Rodriguez is a horrible actress but she saw
[00:09:58] she's like her fucking i'm tough she I think they fired her right for being
[00:10:03] annoying no they didn't fire she was like if they don't start treating women
[00:10:07] better in the series I may leave and it's like
[00:10:11] this is a leave like no but no like the best guy in the series died
[00:10:15] yeah you think like anyone's the best how dare you do
[00:10:19] then his walker medic fuck off finish walker was the heart and soul of that
[00:10:25] then come on you're gonna say vinna because Paul Walker then the
[00:10:29] classic so cow ledge the rock is a late addition to the game he is a late
[00:10:33] addition but he makes that series then there's no fucking there's no
[00:10:37] fast guess who comes after the rock guess who comes after the rock
[00:10:41] Jason Statham are you out of your fucking mind then ludicrous
[00:10:45] jaycelyn oh my god then the fuck up then vinna
[00:10:49] ludicrous sucks my dick are you kidding me you're talking about Christopher
[00:10:52] bridges Christopher bridges oh okay i'm
[00:10:55] renowned actor christopher from crash you might know his finest work
[00:11:00] crash oh crash i love that movie favorite movie yeah dude you guys are out of
[00:11:03] your fucking gourd that's i'm not agreeing with me here
[00:11:06] jaycelyn statham is good but he's not in a girl
[00:11:09] that's that's it that's okay a fucking if uh if uh
[00:11:12] fast whatever is mcdonald's vinny vinny's the fucking big mac brother and
[00:11:16] nugget at this point yeah he's the man he's the main star yeah
[00:11:19] and he was big mac's movie and paul walker was nuggets
[00:11:23] the two best parts of mcdonald's and then the rock is like a fucking mc
[00:11:26] chicken select stop what happens in fast and the furious five
[00:11:29] i don't fucking remember do you yeah so please be quiet do you remember
[00:11:34] there's an interview please don't comment on the series that you're not
[00:11:38] obsessed with dude so there's an interview you would
[00:11:40] say you're obsessed with maybe i took one of them off i'll be honest the rock
[00:11:43] was doing a promo interview during his uh like the first movie he was in
[00:11:48] and he was like talking to the reporter and he was like saying with like
[00:11:51] completely straight face he's like when vinny's will and i fight
[00:12:01] they have a feud that got squashed i think it was the same kind of feud that
[00:12:05] that everybody in the cast of the suicide squad had
[00:12:08] red leto right up to the release of that movie
[00:12:11] the rock was mailing uh vindy's old youth conduct i'm gonna suck your dick
[00:12:17] do you want to know how first i'm gonna suck your dick really really hard
[00:12:23] do you want to know how i got this hard do you want to know how my dick got this
[00:12:29] small because somebody played a joke on me with a
[00:12:34] pair of scissors and it was me surprised i cut my own dick down
[00:12:42] not off just down because what's the craziest gender
[00:12:48] small dick and that's my gender because i am the joker
[00:12:58] that's cuckoo that is cuckoo that is fucking twisted
[00:13:04] cuckoo over cuckoo puffs and cutting my own dick down
[00:13:20] i was watching the windy william show the other day oh hell yeah and she was
[00:13:23] being transphobic which is so funny because she seems like a trans woman
[00:13:27] i really thought she was the bitch from uh
[00:13:30] orange is new black i used to think oh come on don't call me transphobic because i
[00:13:34] did call her a bitch yes i think this gender
[00:13:37] damn this motherfucker said give me every fucking spicy tuna roll you got
[00:13:41] the same shitty guy last time which is the market almost circles i'm about to get
[00:13:45] a little bit it looks like you're pimply ass face Adam i don't have pimples
[00:13:49] anymore what man say no fish dude not even a
[00:13:51] fuck in avocado cock marked face me and my girlfriend Edward James almost
[00:13:55] very in face masks today it's pretty cute your Edward James almost straight
[00:14:04] i'd love to see it deliver those sweet lips to a man's shaft how bad was
[00:14:09] Edward James almost his acne when he was like 15 years old he had he had to
[00:14:13] have had the worst piece of face i think you got kissed by a rose dude
[00:14:17] that's right seal had that from just being in Africa when he was
[00:14:22] yeah somebody's racist from when scar killed his dad
[00:14:28] that's that's the result of a fucking stampede above a will to be stampede
[00:14:33] i was all drunk at my my ex-girlfriend's friend's house one time and he like
[00:14:39] sold music he had used like a musician i guess but he had like uh
[00:14:44] like one of those like synthesizer keyboards chord uh no just like a
[00:14:48] regular key i don't know you know like a keyboard that people have in their
[00:14:51] pocket apartment and he puts on like uh some voice
[00:14:55] on the piano that's like bow you know it's like bow bow it's again
[00:14:59] voices and then he just starts playing the like
[00:15:02] bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow
[00:15:06] and i was drunk as shit that was nice this is great dude that would entertain me
[00:15:11] for four hours straight and i just threw up southern comfort all this
[00:15:17] what a disgusting drink dude soco amaretto lime absolutely
[00:15:21] yo motherfucker never fuck with shoko amaretto law
[00:15:23] and the distinct memory of getting roadhead
[00:15:25] it drives my ex-girlfriends outy burping up uh oh outy my man getting sucked off in
[00:15:31] the outy here is girl tt what were you riding dude uh a four a four
[00:15:36] the first time i got jacked off and came with my own face was in an outy
[00:15:40] outy look at these motherfucker's rich i've only gotten roadhead in a fucking
[00:15:43] nissan yeah well nissan in a camry and a in a lola
[00:15:47] a lot of a lot of toyola a corolla that's what i call a
[00:15:51] okay yeah that's what i call my corollos my
[00:15:53] corolla doctor trade with carlola dude yeah
[00:15:56] lola riding in the lola i mean the lola um getting sucked off in a
[00:16:00] lola yeah drinking southern comfort well getting sucked off in the outy
[00:16:04] a four yeah on the way to uh to blue guana oh nice
[00:16:11] dude yeah or some shitty blue iguana oh no i'm
[00:16:15] thinking of there was some there was some band there was some bar run by
[00:16:19] cubans that the guy like tried to fucking
[00:16:22] do some not chill stuff lizard lounge was that it
[00:16:26] it was it it was it it was blue agave in baltimore
[00:16:29] blue agave rapist or something pretty chill
[00:16:34] um huh huh yeah they shut they shut the shit down i think they deported him or
[00:16:39] some shit they killed they uh they gave him the fidel and he
[00:16:42] personally killed him i should have gotten some so happy they sent me
[00:16:47] i asked you i know but i didn't think at the time the order is this you were too
[00:16:50] busy doing pull-ups with your weight vest i know
[00:16:52] nix been running around with a fucking bullet
[00:16:55] bulletproof vest looking motherfucking thing it's actually a real t-word
[00:16:58] but it's 40 it's 40 pounds right yeah i got a 40 pound vest yeah dude
[00:17:02] because again they started an expensive after that after 40 pounds yeah dude
[00:17:06] there's like 60 dollar ones like 90 bucks on Amazon i'm sure you can find a
[00:17:10] cheaper one buying free weights for the house
[00:17:12] for your house if you want to make a home gym it's like very expensive right
[00:17:16] um well you could probably find a cheap bar
[00:17:19] so joe rogan had some fucking gorilla faced
[00:17:23] uh kettlebells dude yeah it's like kettlebells but they got a big gorilla's face
[00:17:27] cool that's how you get jacked yeah dude you gotta live together
[00:17:31] you gotta live together yeah i follow joe rogan on the gram dude
[00:17:34] that's how rogan dude shots out fear factor shuttattin use radio
[00:17:38] the UFC amazing he eats elk all the time and it looks
[00:17:43] delicious well is that venison it looks good as shit yeah it's like
[00:17:46] venison it's like this fresh similar to venison he shoots it with a fucking
[00:17:50] arrow well that's how you know he's uh he's a brave man he's a real
[00:17:53] ass i'm trying to get my vertical real high i'm gonna start
[00:17:56] olympic lifting get my vertical real fucking high and then jump and then
[00:18:03] like a fucking yeah dude like a fish they think they're better than me
[00:18:07] because they're in the sky not for long motherfucker
[00:18:10] i wish birds ate each other like fish do some do
[00:18:14] no i mean like like where they're just flying yeah right yeah
[00:18:17] and a bird just gets snatched do they do better is that cartoons no
[00:18:20] airplanes do that to birds no no i mean do fish do that i've only seen
[00:18:24] that in cartoons where it's like one jumps from the left one jumps from the
[00:18:27] right yeah one jumps from the yeah of course
[00:18:30] dude one of my life goals is to go on an elastic that's all the ocean is that's
[00:18:34] why this there's it's so good at evolution there's so much cool shit down
[00:18:37] there because it's fucking dark down in the marianis trench
[00:18:40] mm-hmm where they got fucking all those like evil look at those like god
[00:18:44] godly octopuses yeah octopuses with bangs yeah
[00:18:48] yeah my parents are fucking divorced dude i've got piercings
[00:18:52] i'm moving to trench yeah do you think octopuses i'm scared of them dude
[00:18:58] i feel like just imagine like it's just some like fat girl with like a pigface
[00:19:03] and like multicolored pink hair just sort of floating around down there
[00:19:09] but with a fucking powerful ass limbs dude she could fuck us up
[00:19:12] yeah i'm scared dude what if they taught this is how to sneak
[00:19:16] and they can fuck it and talk to each other dude are they smart
[00:19:19] they're smart as shit yeah they are they could take over dude they also do they
[00:19:23] regrow limbs they don't have a central arm they don't have like a central
[00:19:26] nervous system they just their whole body is like a brain
[00:19:29] oh fuck so if you cut it if you cut it if you cut it out the body's getting
[00:19:33] brain it'll like grab for things and put them where
[00:19:37] the mouth used to be like the arm can think for itself
[00:19:41] wow they're smart dude don't like don't detect boats that are crab boats and
[00:19:46] they'll climb on board and then go into like the where they keep you
[00:19:48] yeah yeah dude that's fucking wild if they learn how to
[00:19:52] fucking communicate we're fucked dude plan it at the apes
[00:19:54] like dolphins dude they're mad smart yeah the seas could rise up against us
[00:19:58] why would octopi be malicious because we fucked their
[00:20:02] shit because my people have been yeah but they don't have a motion
[00:20:05] octopus is so good dude it tastes exactly like chicken it's
[00:20:09] fucking delicious it tastes better than chicken it's better than chicken
[00:20:12] yeah you char you put that on the fucking char
[00:20:14] girl it tastes like better dope chicken it's great dude and here's what you do
[00:20:19] you fucking catch it you banging on a fucking rock immediately banging on a
[00:20:22] fucking rock and then you let it hang and dry out and fucking oh dude
[00:20:26] and then put it over some fucking godfulness some fucking charcoal
[00:20:30] I'm just fuck I want to look at this dude I hope I get octopus
[00:20:34] squeezes your head off that's what I'm saying I've been so many of them I
[00:20:38] deserve to be god I haven't I'm a friend of the
[00:20:41] friend of the aquarium really no I consider donating though
[00:20:46] to become a friend of the aquarium any of them
[00:20:50] the Brooklyn one's bad right just always one of the island one that honorific
[00:20:53] you want to be known as a friend of the aquarium yeah is the Baltimore one good
[00:20:57] I've been yeah that's good let's go do shrooms there
[00:21:01] let's do it hello stare at some large ass are you going to Baltimore are you
[00:21:04] going I'm taking the Amtrak unfortunately I yeah I don't know I gotta
[00:21:08] figure out take the train with me baby I gotta meet with an accountant at some
[00:21:11] point I got a whole rack of stuff I gotta do on my precious
[00:21:15] weekends I was gonna do stuff today but I ended up
[00:21:18] doing light bulb surgery all day long Nick was fusing two light bulbs together
[00:21:24] one of my light bulbs broke so I took the diffuser out of a shittier light bulb
[00:21:28] and put it in my fancy light bulb very cool my
[00:21:32] man he can fucking dim shit from his phone my watch
[00:21:41] have fucking bitch ass watch dude what do you mean that bitch ass watch it's
[00:21:44] the OS for that for the I watch it does it's on Apple watch did that
[00:21:49] oh what kind of sushi is that it's like one is salmon
[00:21:54] one is spicy salmon one is spicy tuna no I think it's like tuna belly and like
[00:21:58] the two different types like the fatty tuna get a little piece of tuna belly
[00:22:02] yeah yeah have a piece dude or is that too good
[00:22:05] do I not deserve the belly I really don't know which is which but they're all good
[00:22:09] okay check this out I want the lighter color like suck now
[00:22:12] dude who's what all right it's a little dimmer the the the the watch is gay I
[00:22:16] will I mean you have to do that dude the Apple watch dude yes it is dude it's
[00:22:21] fucking it it's got Siri in it you can make phone calls fucking you can set the
[00:22:28] face of mini or Mickey Mouse they got buddy got Buzz Lightyear on there now
[00:22:33] too can you do I was laughing about because Apple is a dog shit company at
[00:22:39] this point the iPhone X is garbage yeah Samsung makes better phones the only
[00:22:43] reason I have an iPhone is for I message the Apple TV announcing 4k and HDR as if
[00:22:50] like that's not something they fucked up and left out of the last one and they're
[00:22:55] way behind the industry on everything and then like watch OS for which or
[00:23:02] or watch yeah the new watch OS which is supposed to be
[00:23:06] like great the only addition I've seen so far is they added
[00:23:11] toy story they added toy story to it what if what if you could wrap it around
[00:23:15] your cock and it jacks you off I wish I had watched the keynote just to see
[00:23:19] Tim Cook be like a revolutionary idea I've never heard Tim Cook speak but I
[00:23:25] imagine that sounds right I'm fucking impotent southern it's what if we
[00:23:31] get a game imagine this what what imagine a watch that's also a phone that in a
[00:23:40] future world had Bud's Lightyear on it everyone's clapping but what if you had
[00:23:46] a different watch that had Woody on it and everyone's clapping more what if you
[00:23:50] had Buzz and Woody on the same watch and then everyone's cheering
[00:23:58] judge yeah punching each other watch OS for we have all the toy story
[00:24:02] characters on one watch every single toy story character right the the fucking
[00:24:12] hot dog fucking crashing what could we do to destabilize the stock market
[00:24:19] dude I did disrupt you out of said the set the world on fire dude like a
[00:24:24] Joker style fight club yeah you gotta do bombs okay and big buildings we should
[00:24:29] do it dude let's fucking disrupt market student and then bet against it and
[00:24:33] short it that's what that's what we learned from that movie the big short
[00:24:38] the big short the big chart yeah yeah it's more like big chart I just loved
[00:24:43] it's a subway Jared was in the big short that was one of the characters
[00:24:47] in the big yeah man yeah we all we had Adams housewarming party yesterday that
[00:24:58] was very nice that was fun we're all a little bit you know I made beef jerky
[00:25:04] for everybody oh it's on my house oh you should have brought it I'm sorry
[00:25:08] pretty good beef jerky huh you're very good dude not bad let's put it but it
[00:25:13] finished nice to one of the only things I can do in this world is make be make
[00:25:17] beef jerky why don't you beef jerk me why don't you fucking watch your goddamn
[00:25:22] language no fuck you and your iPhone I watch bitch oh I'm sorry I was just being
[00:25:26] notified that I have achieved something you reached your stand goal today I
[00:25:32] love it it tells me like good job on standing up like completely motionless
[00:25:38] you fucking nuts off my bare stomach like watching something in bed like you
[00:25:43] stood again if I had a brief moment of anxiety and my heart rate shot up
[00:25:50] interpreted that incorrectly is moving to continue to live oh fuck dude yeah
[00:26:01] that's fun last night got a little yayed out you know allegedly not me yeah
[00:26:06] allegedly if the cops are listening yeah by the way if you're a cop you're not
[00:26:13] allowed to listen to this show yeah go back to compound media pig yeah yeah I
[00:26:18] g yeah this is listen up to Nick's a big you have to see last podcast yeah you
[00:26:23] have see fighters only this is the only people I'd listen to this podcast
[00:26:27] yeah can we befriend more UFC fighters in Lewis you think I'll make him a he
[00:26:31] would be so pissed if we did if we got fucking like I don't know who's the big
[00:26:36] guy who's like the top guy right now well John Jones just tested positive for
[00:26:41] steroids well that's he should be our guy that is our guy he's awesome and he
[00:26:45] does drugs he's cool he's cool he's the guys if we got John Jones to be the
[00:26:49] fourth mic on this and then he's just calling Adam gay he's literally beating
[00:26:56] Adam fucking pulp every episode that'd be so cool if you call me gay and then the
[00:27:02] N word to beat me up oh man you could do it a fourth mic that could say it as
[00:27:06] much as we all think it are you kidding me yeah then wow now we're really on to
[00:27:11] something all right John Jones how about John or Alex Jones instead that's
[00:27:18] pretty good yeah that'd be a fun guest have you seen that video of him listening
[00:27:22] to a mother no no but like every video of Alex Jones is like oh you're not gonna
[00:27:28] believe this yeah it's like someone that yeah it's someone that thinks that no
[00:27:33] one else has ever heard of the jugulos yeah yeah yeah right exactly can you
[00:27:37] imagine like going on stage and trying to describe Alex Jones oh man that's
[00:27:41] pathetic that would be pretty fun someone did that stand up it that's pathetic
[00:27:47] that would be fucking I would say I'm bad with the premium subscribers pay
[00:27:52] for hell yeah dude it's called that's called a low-key diss I really hate
[00:27:58] anybody that says low-key and high-key absolutely 100 bucks on sucks come on
[00:28:02] man I think he's yeah cuz he's like that guy's like low-key you know kind of
[00:28:07] racist it's like yeah no he's not just say he's not racist or right right
[00:28:12] cues him or he's a little racist say he's a little yeah right say low-key there's
[00:28:16] something low-key about it yeah he's not whispering his racism yeah I am yeah
[00:28:21] because I'm respectful in the library we're all trying to study whispering
[00:28:29] racism I have things I need to say to calm down well I try to navigate the
[00:28:36] very complicated dewy decimal system or as I like to call it no
[00:28:43] fuck let me whisper yeah let me tell you some racial slurs that you try to get
[00:28:49] nice pretty whisper song wait till you see my oh boom boom boom boom boom boom
[00:28:59] that's some good shit hey little ladder let me fuck you
[00:29:03] motherless that's Danny Glover wrote that song
[00:29:21] yeah there we go yeah which D gloves up to man just whispering somewhere in
[00:29:38] Marine was his song right he went to a Warriors game with Bernie Sanders
[00:29:43] right hey that's a fucking Tucson that was cool you think they fucked women
[00:29:47] together yeah they turn in in any Glover yeah never I full tower we definitely
[00:29:53] would have it everybody gets the own share of the pussy yeah I call the pussy
[00:30:00] Danny you we everybody you get some of the pussy and I get some of the pussy and
[00:30:05] we both enjoy the pussy I don't need anymore this pussy
[00:30:10] I'm too old for this shit is a 12 year old girl socialist fucking gang bangs
[00:30:20] dude everybody isn't there fair share of the pussy is just me or was he always on
[00:30:25] his last day on the force in every lethal weapon movie yeah that's that's the
[00:30:30] trope joke of the movies but it was his last day every time yeah is it just here
[00:30:35] was Indiana Jones and explore home where some were kind of stupid yeah is just
[00:30:43] weird like what are you buzzers be like a child's toys
[00:30:49] that's just a smart observation you're a cookie made as a cookie we're right Adam
[00:30:54] Friedley say that it was his last movie critical thinker all right I got more
[00:30:59] thoughts he can I have more thoughts on movies you want to hear them no I know
[00:31:03] I re in your mouth like you're my butler I did yeah
[00:31:07] I was the Bruce yeah an excellent some man mr. Wayne just who walks a world
[00:31:13] burn Albert why are you talking like that because I still got a bunch of shit
[00:31:17] because because your father shit my mouth every die for 30 years he's been
[00:31:25] saving you shit my mouth hurts me to see you like this
[00:31:29] what you like that shit for weeks he's been saving two turds and two little
[00:31:36] turds his mom and his dad's turn that's like the climactic moment he takes
[00:31:40] out of his cheeks I'll show why and I never told you this but often keep it
[00:31:46] your mom your mom's in your dad's turds in my mouth his whole talk
[00:31:52] writing for that weird small dick joke at a kill you go right there really came
[00:32:02] full circle yeah the writing session for this one was really it you were right
[00:32:06] man yeah plotting it out yeah it is really a block and we go back to small
[00:32:15] crazy let me eat the ginger I'm taking some of your ginger oh that's not
[00:32:19] sugar in a dude you're gonna get fat again was that it's got sugar dude you're
[00:32:23] gonna get fat again hot not gonna be pickled goods okay yeah dude I'm about to
[00:32:29] get I want to get ripped yeah I'm finally back under 20% body fat oh can I
[00:32:33] just can I step on that fancy scale won't work you have to like it does like
[00:32:37] adjust to people so it takes like a couple days what couple days it's got to
[00:32:41] get to know me like we're fucking eating well it does is sing it it uses
[00:32:45] parents it measures something called arterial stiffness oh I know a little
[00:32:52] bit of a stiffness baby well if so if your dick is too small a little break
[00:32:57] the scale well that shouldn't be an issue that's been my goal is to break
[00:33:01] everyone of those fancy scales with my beautiful small dick
[00:33:15] Harley Quinn yeah mr. Joker I can't even feel you dig in my pussy man do your
[00:33:24] voices rules it's gonna be great when that's the entire show yeah I mean we're
[00:33:28] basically there hello by McGay guy I'm a gay guy there he is hey please donate
[00:33:38] to the Puerto Rico victims if I could be serious for a moment despussy to
[00:33:44] small dick Joker here with the energy he's Ricky Martin and I and I'm the old
[00:33:52] leg half of a million and I hear her with a message for desposito born oh
[00:33:59] Chico the island has been devastated please find the rhythm in your hips and
[00:34:09] the kindness in your heart to donate whatever you can fuck do you port poor
[00:34:17] Puerto Rico do that that is sucks yeah yeah yeah it's all those ions have gotten
[00:34:22] fucked in the ace yeah yeah big time and then I was just in Puerto Rico and it
[00:34:28] kind of sucked anyways come on man we're come on that's our native land with
[00:34:33] three Puerto Rican rattlesnakes yeah I know you know we can never go home again
[00:34:37] well I saw it we can't go to the gym I'm mad that I never saw pre-catrina new
[00:34:42] Orleans I've only had to go to that piece of show that's the real tragedy of
[00:34:46] Katrina yeah that I didn't get to see it that Mickey Mouse gentrified bullshit
[00:34:52] you tell him I wanted it when it was real actually I wish I was there right
[00:34:57] after Katrina when all the superders were happening you wish you wish you
[00:35:03] you wish you had a cart rape rape cart blanche in the you get murder and rape
[00:35:07] in New Orleans pretty long away with it yeah it was a wild west for a couple
[00:35:12] months there maybe a year why do you have such a glimmer in your eye when you're
[00:35:16] talking about that well it gets the getting away with it part that I really
[00:35:20] into would you murder I would not murder dude when I did when I did that
[00:35:25] I did hell yes fast have you met a murder was that have I met a murderer yeah
[00:35:31] yeah have you met someone that's murdered I mean I don't think so I don't
[00:35:35] probably yeah I would guess so you think so for sure I for sure often does a
[00:35:40] murder happen I guarantee you feeling it's pretty rare no it isn't what are you
[00:35:46] talking about you guys the local news it seems like there's a lot of murders no
[00:35:51] I mean I definitely know kids that had some dicey teenage years that are like
[00:35:57] cool now but they probably murdered people oh yeah whoa sure yeah dude no no
[00:36:06] one in Vegas killed people you didn't have friends I went to like a magnet
[00:36:11] school a magnet school there was there were a lot no cute no real low a lot of
[00:36:16] what of gays nerd well I mean so then a lot of your friends probably are
[00:36:22] technically murderers and that they didn't disclose your HIV status and
[00:36:27] infected your friend circle yeah and I you know it's even we're there is I
[00:36:33] knew a lot of kids who became murderers that's weirder it's like
[00:36:38] remember kid from elementary school it was like a good a goody good no like a
[00:36:43] fucked up weird kid but still like that he was someone yeah oh how about that
[00:36:48] story about Luca did I ever tell that fucking story my I don't think I told
[00:36:51] on the pod where's my my dad's um my dad is a fucking look at rosy I
[00:36:56] sleeps with the fish yeah we've seen the godfather yeah that's I've seen so few
[00:37:01] movies that he watched the godfather he's like there's no way everyone seen
[00:37:04] this I'm just gonna tell this so yeah me and my dad my dad at my at my baptism
[00:37:10] had seven of his enemies killed is it just me or was there something weird
[00:37:13] going on with Marlin Martin Martin what's his name Marlin Brando's mouth in the
[00:37:18] godfather did you see that yeah it's pretty Martin Brando Martin Brando
[00:37:23] did Martin Martin stepped on your own shit Martin damn Gina
[00:37:28] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:37:43] Tammy the day of uh I don't know the anniversary of Biggie Small Death you
[00:37:52] don't even you don't make me get the step in chinae nay hey and you make me
[00:37:57] hang out with Pam I don't know I can't do the voice at all yeah I'm sucked no my
[00:38:03] so my dad he's he barely has any friends right the only one of his friends
[00:38:08] that I ever liked was this guy Luca he was this Polish guy this happy go lucky
[00:38:12] like Polish dude and a lock he was a pole but straight from the straight off
[00:38:17] the boat pole off like fucking he talk like this talk like a man yes yes
[00:38:24] like this one yeah he talked like miss one he was and so this guy he was just
[00:38:30] like a very pleasant guy he was always smiling and shit and he came and fixed
[00:38:36] like I there was a fucking hole in my wall he came and fixed it when I was in
[00:38:40] college I was moving out of the place and and and I'm just watching the news
[00:38:47] one day and smiling ass Luca and I just see a fucking mugshot of a deranged
[00:38:52] looking motherfucker this guy killed his wife and his mistress he had her
[00:38:56] fucking he had his mistress held Luca dude wow I'm watching the news nice
[00:39:01] thing Lucas fucking face hair all matted and he had just fucking he had he kept
[00:39:06] his mistress he has mr. tied up and he went upstairs it was like a green card
[00:39:11] marriage and his green card wife started cheating on him and even though he had
[00:39:15] a mistress he didn't take kindly to that kind of disrespect all the women he
[00:39:19] fucking he had the mistress tied down downstairs and he fucking went upstairs
[00:39:25] shot his wife in the fucking head and the mr.s heard of two gunshots and was
[00:39:30] like I'm getting the fuck out of here and like chewed through the ropes or
[00:39:33] some shit and escaped and then they got Luca dude they got Lucas ass he's in
[00:39:37] jail right he's in fucking prison right now and Mary him free him free
[00:39:40] Luca free mom and Luca and Luca broggy free him sleeps with the bitches
[00:39:45] very good yeah I wonder if he's raping people in jail now I mean about this
[00:39:50] folks the different this guy Luca murdered a couple of bitches just one
[00:39:54] sounds like Lucas sleeps with the bitches if you know what I mean right folks
[00:39:59] thanks Doria says strike on us mainland imminent Wow I hope I hope I hope
[00:40:06] North Korea nukes Los Angeles yeah first of all a lot of my people on the
[00:40:12] I'm talking like is like gone I'm a 90s kid okay I'm a 90s kid that East Coast
[00:40:17] West Coast rivalries sure man has not died in me yeah I'm big goes on bad boy
[00:40:21] records there's nothing I want more than for black artists from the West Coast
[00:40:25] to be murdered to appease me fan of East Coast music the only one left even on
[00:40:31] the East Coast is fucking puffed at P. Diddy the worst one of all yeah he sucks
[00:40:35] he's cool as a guy the only good ones are fucking alright it's like it's oh
[00:40:40] Dre and fucking city everybody's friend the friend of the guy who was a guy who
[00:40:45] liked people who were better than him here I am I live a couple blocks away
[00:40:49] from that big East malls mural and it's just it's like an Instagram sort of
[00:40:55] selfie spot yeah I always see like the lamest people take pictures you see
[00:41:00] yourself taking pictures in front of it I've never taken a picture this guy was
[00:41:03] schizophrenia that fucking looks at that mural there's one right on around the
[00:41:08] corner that's like Malcolm X yeah Bob Marley or the Mandela's I'm very
[00:41:13] a dummy Danny Glover hit Tommy yeah from Martin R.F. Tommy the great black the
[00:41:24] cast of living single yeah living single rocks by the way yeah it is a good sitcom
[00:41:29] black friends black be at before friends yeah they rock they robbed their whole
[00:41:34] shit they did so yeah he goes by and he's it's very sad he's like yep I'm gonna
[00:41:43] get on that you know like he goes by one by one and he like does self-affirmations
[00:41:47] with all of them oh my god who taught that guy positive I don't know but I
[00:41:52] went up to him one day I'm like yeah you know those are just paintings you
[00:41:54] fucking idiot yeah and then you said that yeah he was like you know he got real
[00:41:59] up like uncomfortable and he was like lowering his head I'm like yeah you
[00:42:02] should be fucking ashamed and this is why you live outside disgusting mental
[00:42:07] illness I like me a businessman the list is at the top of the skyscraper and you
[00:42:14] will never be as good as me with your shitty wall painting Jerry Seidfel
[00:42:20] that's crazy time it's very sad yeah hopefully that guy sorts is well you know
[00:42:29] I never will yeah no chance mental illness folks living on the streets a
[00:42:33] terrible way to live it's a real real real fucking horrible part of our
[00:42:38] society yeah but you know what are you gonna do I don't know maybe more health
[00:42:45] coverage probably say somebody for saying something
[00:42:49] fattoms gay I don't know I don't know I don't remember I was taught we talk about
[00:42:58] murders do you know murderers I saw I say that story about literally just a
[00:43:02] half-second ago someone was about to say something I don't remember maybe oh we
[00:43:06] let's talk about this North Korea oh yes LA I'm officially pro-North Korea in
[00:43:11] this are you well I think he's gonna support my dad why I want why I want I
[00:43:16] think he's doing a good job to nuke the mainland United States without any
[00:43:21] more provocation than Trump saying things is because there's gonna have to be
[00:43:27] people that are like this is Trump's fault millions of people will die
[00:43:31] millions of Americans will die and then there's gonna be people that are like
[00:43:34] Donald did that's a mosquito fingers they're gonna have to side with the
[00:43:41] deaths of all those people it'll be the worst thing that it'll look like in the
[00:43:45] world oh yeah for sure yeah damn that would suck dick for people who live in
[00:43:52] LA no their missiles can't reach new earth the nukes would come out with me
[00:43:56] whatever the big earthquake oh yeah they were anyway the nukes would come out
[00:44:00] well or we get into a groundwork because we couldn't nuke them because of South
[00:44:03] Korea right yeah I don't know man if like the if North Korea nuke the United
[00:44:07] State if they actually did and like I don't know the state of those missile
[00:44:11] defense systems but from what I've read they just don't really they're not good
[00:44:15] yeah they are wars that like Russia the the ring of protective like intercept
[00:44:21] their missiles around Moscow is like the only one in the world that actually
[00:44:25] works damn and damn Vlad's got our ass dude yeah what fuck dude I bet you if
[00:44:32] North Korea shoots a new Vlad's just gonna be like well I got like a
[00:44:35] North Korea nuke the United States and it went off and we didn't retaliate by
[00:44:40] nuking North Korea then it would invalidate us even having right the whole
[00:44:45] point of the habit you truly sure whatever yeah yeah dick suction so if
[00:44:50] there is a time to use them it like has to be then right but nobody's gonna say
[00:44:56] that I mean you can't couldn't you wouldn't have wouldn't we fuck up aren't
[00:45:01] they too close to South Korea and other shit gonna bomb us I know yeah they're
[00:45:05] not but I want to happen I want to just because I want all those people to
[00:45:09] have to sigh it just be glad that it happened to say I told you so to Donald
[00:45:14] Trump and his violent mail right what about fucking in and out burger man
[00:45:20] they got it in the side of no that's not true it's true they have an air is
[00:45:24] sorry checkers she put that to put that to get checkers is not better fuck what
[00:45:30] it is no much more the big first of all what the what a name yeah you for
[00:45:37] yeah I'm like a slow large black boy yeah my name is beautiful I'm a I'm a
[00:45:48] lineman at the elementary school I'm a defensive lineman on the boss of the
[00:45:53] elementary school team I was in the second grade on 23 years old seven foot
[00:46:01] hundred and twenty three pounds my name is beautiful you Buell and I'm from
[00:46:07] racism South Carolina I was born and raised to you right here and racism
[00:46:13] South Carolina I'll go to racism element for school go yeah the big
[00:46:20] Buford and they got wings on their menu the fries go off they're they're
[00:46:25] incredible I gotta go blow my nose they'll be right back yeah dude I do you how
[00:46:29] many have many times you've eaten the checkers your lives and so it's like on
[00:46:33] the side of the right off of like 95 and shit brother when I when I lived in
[00:46:38] Catonsville Maryland the jewel of southwestern Baltimore County Catons
[00:46:42] Maryland I lived right I lived probably like half mile from a damn checkers
[00:46:49] and you went on the right to whip out yeah it's a night out they got the little
[00:46:54] they got the little fucking they got the little outdoor seat their seating game
[00:46:58] is incredible I couldn't I checkers has incredible seating they got the little
[00:47:02] circular tables outside it's nice I can't believe how much I use fast food yeah
[00:47:08] yeah I guess living in the city there's I mean there's still fast food here but
[00:47:12] like we're old we're old now it'll fuck me up for real no fast food in the city
[00:47:17] is trash though that's why you don't eat it's bad I mean I like I pop up I still
[00:47:21] good yeah no pop eyes in the city is not as good as regular pop up yeah that's
[00:47:25] true but it's still good it's still good pop eyes is the best fast food white
[00:47:29] castle was really only shit to go to in New York because they only have that
[00:47:33] here but it's still fucking shit it sucks my I wasn't like has a one-time I'm
[00:47:36] pretty sure some guy died while I was there he was like fucking unresponsive
[00:47:41] EMT's came in they're like sir and they're like shaking him and shit you
[00:47:45] wouldn't fucking move Jesus Christ have you ever seen any one of the other
[00:47:49] craveyer founded ever how I had that like a stomach issue I think I got it
[00:47:54] from like from I went to White Castle after work I like drop the truck off
[00:47:57] yeah I went to White Castle and I got that like 10 slider thing no I was like I
[00:48:04] want to see if I can eat all 10 of these sliders in five minutes nice and I
[00:48:08] did it's important challenge yourself and I went to sleep and I was sleeping on
[00:48:11] the floor at the time I didn't have I hadn't built oh you little loft yeah
[00:48:16] it was really when I first moved into this back in the Felix was here two
[00:48:19] days yeah so I fucking slept on the floor and I woke up in the middle of the
[00:48:23] night feeling goes well I remember that yeah yeah yeah you thought you had a
[00:48:27] appendicitis maybe yeah and then just lasted for like six months
[00:48:33] that's probably not White Castle brother I don't know what it was but it went
[00:48:37] away when I went to LA hmm I guess it was like not a fiber or something I
[00:48:43] know yeah you were getting a fat in your system and yeah I went to a
[00:48:49] Chick-fil-A in Midtown that's two stories it's like all tech doubt and shit
[00:48:53] cheekfully good as well pretty good Popeyes is for sure the best fast food I
[00:48:57] love I loved when when Chick-fil-A was like it's wrong to be gay that's our
[00:49:01] stance and then people are like that's it they're going out of business we're
[00:49:05] gonna shut them down and it's like they just did better than ever yeah it's the
[00:49:09] delicious sandwich yeah what the fuck do you want me to know it is also owned by
[00:49:13] fundamentalist Christians on the bottom of all their cups it's like John yeah
[00:49:17] this should be a restaurant that's like we are so committed to the quality of
[00:49:21] our food that we are going to publicly say that we believe in the mass genocide
[00:49:26] of all Jewish people in the world as an official stance to show you that our
[00:49:32] food is so good it will survive any boycott that you can throw at us subway
[00:49:37] sandwiches kill all the Jews they're like this mark this isn't gonna play well
[00:49:42] especially after the subway Jared thing what did something happen some you guys
[00:49:47] has no idea yeah who's subway Jared mark don't worry about it no I want to know
[00:49:55] he was this guy that worked here who got caught doing what we all do didn't
[00:50:01] know how to get cover his tracks started getting sloppy started cutting
[00:50:06] corners yeah right let's just say he enjoyed the subway lifestyle a little
[00:50:20] personal life cause a couple of issues down with those boys at the FBI it's
[00:50:29] company policy to fuck kids it's like it's like you know in cervical when he
[00:50:33] doesn't take the bribe it's like if you don't fuck a kid they're like what's
[00:50:37] what's the matter you're not cool yeah hey everybody it's bring someone's
[00:50:42] daughter to work day yeah they do a key party and bring your daughter to work
[00:50:48] day bring someone else's daughter to work day next Tuesday because I participate
[00:50:55] oh damn that's it that's a joke that we never did from an episode about some
[00:51:04] about Adam as a baby getting fun bring your daughter to work they exist yeah it
[00:51:09] does I've never ever bring your child every office I've been in that has
[00:51:14] exist you haven't worked in that many offices I was in a call center for two
[00:51:18] years call centers aren't real I don't bring kids to a call center that's
[00:51:23] for you that's distracting people actually have to work at a call I always wanted
[00:51:27] to work in a place with like key cards and I have to talk a shirt in oh yeah I
[00:51:30] did it for six months it was pretty funny I did it for fucking seven years
[00:51:34] bitch yeah the idiot this dude when I was a discovery yeah where you
[00:51:42] discovering discovering holes and vassar we are nice I told you guys about
[00:51:47] when that guy came in with a suicide vest yeah he came to my office I'm gonna
[00:51:53] have another piece of sushi here buddy you can have it oh man I should have got
[00:52:02] that's pretty good you guys ever seen a dead body I'm pretty sure when I was in
[00:52:09] Austin I drove past like a crime scene where because they had like you know the
[00:52:14] crime van and then they had like a little tent by like a field like a
[00:52:18] forensics tent or some shit yeah we're well you know the kind of tent they put
[00:52:22] over like a murder victim yeah and and we drove past it I was like oh those are
[00:52:27] dead body they were like no it wasn't I think it was Jake they just refused to
[00:52:32] believe that there would be a dead body ever stuff no there was a couple times
[00:52:39] there was two like big shootings in Greektown one was like or one there was
[00:52:44] a there was a dead body that was found like I think really close to our school
[00:52:48] and I saw the commotion and then there was another one that was like four blocks
[00:52:54] that was a like a gang shooting yeah I was one of the kids I knew and I saw the
[00:53:00] commotion I never saw the actual bodies yeah just all the aftermath I saw my
[00:53:04] grandma after she died oh yes that's shit that shit
[00:53:10] sucks oh like a wake no I mean like in the hospital room she like she just died
[00:53:16] yeah my mom like sat like she's I guess it's gonna be weird when me and
[00:53:20] stop have to witness your death yeah dude wait like go in and see a dead body
[00:53:25] sucks dude that's just that sucks I don't want anyone to see me like that
[00:53:30] that's just we're gonna we're gonna play we're gonna weaken to burns you for
[00:53:32] months after your day you're pretty just rotting we have like fish fish I'm
[00:53:38] gonna make an app out of you as long as you stuff at him and make as long as you
[00:53:43] put a cool tie behind my Hawaiian shirt on me you guys can do whatever you want
[00:53:48] with my corpse we're gonna seriously I'm leaving my corpse here Tommy but
[00:53:51] Babbatma but I'm a but I'm a but Tommy bottom up that's what Adam
[00:53:58] wears you know I'm at so many top me bottom top me bottom up that island lifestyle
[00:54:07] is going down there with his girl his boyfriend and then cheating on his
[00:54:10] boyfriend with the the surfing instructor with Poco and then freaking out
[00:54:17] because you forgot to take his birth control pill my ass birth control pill
[00:54:23] I'm gonna have a turin my mom my boy pussy's pregnant
[00:54:33] is that what goes on that David Barton Jim yeah what's happening in there
[00:54:39] dude you know about this if you heard about this David Barton Jim it's a gym
[00:54:44] for gay guys that's that's that's fun isn't more expensive oh it's where you
[00:54:49] were kidding dude yeah you're right you're right you're right the gay people are all
[00:54:52] millionaires gay guys are so rich they're crazy white gay white men white game
[00:54:57] averaging come for a no kids no yeah averaging come for a gay white man is
[00:55:03] probably somewhere around 782 million years yeah dude they're so like Chelsea
[00:55:09] gay dudes are all like just but just think about it you get any kind of you
[00:55:12] get any kind of corporate job it's illegal for them to fire you you know
[00:55:17] fucking hard it is to fire a gay person you can't do possible dude you know so
[00:55:22] they're so slippery because they're always lotioned up what I worked with
[00:55:25] this lady when I was like a discovery she she literally would just not come to
[00:55:30] work for weeks on it just come back and be like oh I'm sick yeah I was sick I
[00:55:35] think probably good Union she was it wasn't Union job they just like
[00:55:39] did you want to deal with the discrimination lawsuit because like she
[00:55:43] might have actually been sick or something dude that's why you get an office job
[00:55:47] day one your first day in the it is all you just walk right here you're
[00:55:52] sure you're in there with a dildo hanging out of your mouth yeah just jam
[00:55:57] down your throat and you go right up to your boss pull it out wrong good morning
[00:56:01] mark right back in there go to your desk start typing right and then they know
[00:56:08] that they're fucked oh yeah did you're locked in there forever that's I'm
[00:56:13] writing a sequel to office space mmm-hmm called office gay yeah there we go
[00:56:19] boys coffee now we're home called orifice space orifice yes yeah that just
[00:56:27] shoves a bunch of dildos in his mouth and ass mmm-hmm before going into work
[00:56:31] but you know what he does good numbers you know I remember when I saw office
[00:56:35] space and I was like 11 I was like man I want to work in an office that movie
[00:56:40] rules just said yeah that seems so much better than school sitting in an office
[00:56:44] park somewhere and oh yeah just using a computer eight hours straight yeah no
[00:56:49] classes go home to your own apartment where you watch TV for two hours and you
[00:56:56] could hear the guy from who's on his or from true carry through the through the
[00:57:01] wall yep yeah he had a he had a little career there and then I literally I
[00:57:04] lived in Austin and I had my own apartment I worked in a call center wow
[00:57:08] dude and it fucking life imitating oh I need that I'm glad you found on the
[00:57:13] couch a butt plug me to me what were you saying there was some guy who you
[00:57:18] tell that story about there was like a pathological liar that like it maybe was
[00:57:22] maybe in college park ej's landing maybe oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:57:28] ej's landing that is a funny story that fucking guy this dude did had this like
[00:57:33] they'd carry okey I would go yes yes I'm going to carry you Jordan and there is
[00:57:39] these regulars there is these two guys one of them was like red one of those
[00:57:44] like thin guy there's like thin nerds with thinning hair and like a giant
[00:57:48] Adam's at oh yes yes like they're like they're like
[00:57:51] like shit yeah yeah like dudes that like you know just know like there's a lot
[00:57:57] about spark plugs yeah computer parts their arms are long as shit but their
[00:58:01] elbows and their wrists are really close together yeah one of the shitty
[00:58:06] body guys and then his friend who is the more gregarious of the two who's sort
[00:58:11] of this like dumpy loser Kenny Powers type yes who only wear wrestling shirts
[00:58:16] and he had a fucking disgusting sloppy body and yes a little black go tee or
[00:58:22] whatever brother and so my friends on like good terms with the management of
[00:58:26] the bar you know the manager was like this Indian guy that it was like cool so
[00:58:30] they were allowed to reach over the bar to use the soda gun and so that's cool
[00:58:35] my friend Jordan's just that's my right Jordan's just getting himself some water
[00:58:39] and the guy with the good tea comes up and he's like it's like man why don't you
[00:58:43] get soda he's like I just wanted water he was like yeah but you can get soda
[00:58:49] he's like yeah I know but I just wanted a water he's like man I've been had a
[00:58:53] drop water in five years I just imagine how thirsty that motherfucker is he
[00:59:02] doesn't realize it yeah it would have been a very sorry to tell if I had brought
[00:59:07] it up organically like I had no no no there's more that story where he's that
[00:59:11] you'd go hang out at his fucking apartment oh I never hung out in his
[00:59:15] apartment I just know they live down route one on at like the spindly guys
[00:59:19] mom's place yes yes and she was just like a fucking alcohol it lived on the
[00:59:24] couch and then the two of them like split his bedroom and they were like 28 years
[00:59:29] old 28 29 and he was just fucking even also a pathological liar right yeah well
[00:59:38] all those guys are I mean you know like you're not a guy that hangs out at karaoke
[00:59:42] and lives with someone else's mom having a liar and telling he was like yeah I
[00:59:47] went to fucking Westminster College last week and I started hanging out with
[00:59:52] these girls so yeah stayed in their girls dorm the whole weekend fucked every
[00:59:56] girl that dorm 60 girls yeah every single one of every girl that fucking
[01:00:03] serene three days 60 girls right one cock just like fat juggalo piece of shit
[01:00:11] that every girl is like yes like who's that really drunk guy who's that guy
[01:00:21] over there he's fucking he looks like he's stuck in 1997 that's the best kind of
[01:00:29] white trash is not doesn't know it's not 1997 yeah like remember those ball
[01:00:35] those steel ball necklaces no that was 97 look stone cold shirts but on ironically
[01:00:41] at all not even winking at all yeah what does a 3 16 what is that I think it was
[01:00:47] just a an organic no it's a thing from the Bible John 3 16 yeah but he was just
[01:00:53] saying it it means nothing people have looked it up really they didn't shit yeah
[01:00:58] yeah it's just a cool thing it's in the Bible though right Austin 3 16 is not in
[01:01:04] the Bible now I know there's a lot of it's blank in the Bible that's just like
[01:01:10] the verse in the Bible but it's from John 3 16 no it's not mother fuck he was
[01:01:15] just saying John 3 16 and I'll get your ass and also your dick a quoted Bible
[01:01:20] so says the Lord yeah but I think you're saying it to sound cool I think I think
[01:01:26] John 3 16 is shit no it's not I'm big didn't it's hot that he gave his only
[01:01:31] son for the guy was not that one it's a love his patience to get down in this
[01:01:35] ring and dick me off now John 3 16 I don't think it's anything I looked it up
[01:01:40] when I was a little kid because I was having this thought as well he bro and
[01:01:44] then Jesus broke bread with but I guess it's John's book so who the fuck is John
[01:01:49] yeah exactly thank you and then I went to blockbuster and you know is it okay
[01:01:55] Sunday oh yeah you're right Nick first God so loved the world that he gave his
[01:01:59] only begotten son yeah that who so ever believe it in him should not perish
[01:02:04] that's still a hard-ass fucking prick that's for beta and then Jesus took two
[01:02:10] beers smack them against his head he shot going right there in there yep
[01:02:13] they fucking kick some people's ass dictum up there again I'm gonna do my
[01:02:18] impressions how about on steel my we both we what are you talking about we
[01:02:23] both did that a Jakes house dick the dick him down in the ring we came up with
[01:02:27] that we're playing Katama Jake and Blake mold dog original you're taking
[01:02:32] samples out we were doing that for an hour at Jake and Blake's like somebody
[01:02:36] years ago somebody's got their their paws in my candy bowl I do for once
[01:02:41] they meet listen you do you do get a question I know I've been only one of
[01:02:46] yours I steal is Eric and that's because Eric is irresistible to do yeah he's
[01:02:52] the best he's the best ever there are some batch there's a batch there's a
[01:02:56] batch I think was he at the party he wasn't right no he wasn't there like
[01:03:01] why I forgot to text him I hope he lives in this right now I miss him dude I we
[01:03:07] know now it was back pedaling he he was talking about how he didn't miss you at
[01:03:11] all no he said me a Texa couple weeks ago he's like dude I'm a block away we
[01:03:17] got Bruce we got dibs it's going down me up it hell yeah dude like I've liked
[01:03:24] didn't respond and then he takes me like 2 a.m. he's like dude the fucking come
[01:03:28] why did you post picture ex-girlfriend of a come town subreddit what and I'm
[01:03:33] like dude I did that why would I do that shout out to whoever posted that picture
[01:03:37] Adams ex-girlfriend on the subreddit that's that's a cool move to do that I think
[01:03:43] it's bad really cool don't dox uh people yeah yeah please good thing to do is to
[01:03:49] harass people that we mentioned people that you guys don't even like Adam I see
[01:03:54] wrong them if anything she should be a hero yeah or you guys should celebrate
[01:03:57] her no person on this earth is harmed at it was a bunch of she has probably yeah
[01:04:02] you guys should choose your hero yeah I gotta tell you guys I've been called a
[01:04:07] gay bug by so many men on the internet over the last 48 hours I gotta say guys
[01:04:13] late-emitic diodes are pretty freaking cool yeah I'm very impressed you by the
[01:04:18] science guy what's that I'm pretty impressed you're able to do whatever you
[01:04:21] did oh what swap diffusers from an old life all to a new one I'm looking at
[01:04:26] that shit dude it looks like a robots cock to me dude yeah what's like Robocops
[01:04:31] did you know I'm a handy but I don't know how to I can't cook that's the trade
[01:04:35] off I can cook I eat myself a pot of beans for dinner every night you you
[01:04:40] make some disgusting things I don't give a shit at this point dude I like who
[01:04:45] care I don't know the amount of work that goes into cooking and then you just
[01:04:48] eat it and shit it out yeah it's great I'm a fucking glutton good tastes good I
[01:04:53] don't know I think I have I think you know like flavor smoking since I was like
[01:04:57] 14 I like depressed my ability to taste things doesn't that should come back
[01:05:01] though if you stop smoking I think it does I don't know I mean also tons of
[01:05:05] you know what I actually have a solution you have to close it's a
[01:05:09] special medical rod okay I'm losing my eyes
[01:05:13] wait a minute this tastes exactly like my dad's sausage my dad's special
[01:05:22] Halloween sausage you would make every year Halloween just for Halloween huh yeah
[01:05:27] and these were his eyes this was his dick and it's going into your mouth
[01:05:39] boom shit h-ween boys what are we gonna do we got to get a three-person costume
[01:05:46] well we do have we're gonna get a pantomime horse and Adam's gonna be the
[01:05:51] ass and then someone's gonna fuck it that's good okay I'll be the front of the
[01:05:55] horse no you be the front of the horse I don't be the back of the horse I'll be
[01:05:58] a farmer that's fucking the horse in the ass no let's like be like you know you
[01:06:04] could be big pussy I'll be I'll be Holly I'll be Tony no you don't get to be
[01:06:08] any of the characters on the sopranos I'm Tony I'm Adriano la Serva you are
[01:06:13] Adriana that's true now you're Fival from Fival is I'm Tony Nick you're um
[01:06:24] Chris Stefan I'm not Christopher yes you look up to me I'm kind of a hero to you
[01:06:28] Christopher's too nice that's true he's not you are Paulie you're a Christopher
[01:06:33] is the only one that's like none of them are nice they're also nice no no no
[01:06:36] Bobby Bockel is a nice that's you Bobby Bockel is the only one and it's funny
[01:06:40] that Bobby has definitely killed people also no he should be rewatch the whole
[01:06:44] should be rewatch the real series and 100% make this a sopranos podcast yes I
[01:06:49] started with my with my my GF today she's never seen it um but uh no but Bobby
[01:06:55] Bockel I had never killed anyone until the when he gets a in a fight at the
[01:06:59] cabin with Tony and then Tony Tony's like go up to Montreal and he had to kill
[01:07:05] that guy you doing that kneecap punch yeah Nick does it don't start going to
[01:07:11] get hungry we're going to spoil or my knee don't spoil that for people man you
[01:07:15] just boiled up Bobby Bockel all shit when the last episode Tony gets killed
[01:07:20] Vodafone how about this show that's not true no one knows for sure a phone
[01:07:25] company if you got a small quick show to phone that's good shout out to
[01:07:29] Chota phone Adam that was really rude man but I want to say guys I'm so
[01:07:33] anti-spoiler I think it's fucked up I think it's and it's not a giant spoiler
[01:07:37] huh the movie exists whether you see it you know you see it or not oh doesn't
[01:07:43] matter wow what a good philosophical point I hate that when people get mad
[01:07:47] at spoiler what the fuck it exists whether you see it or not yeah how does
[01:07:51] that make how does that make any fucking sense yeah I like that's a that's a
[01:07:54] particularly stupid thing to say fucking idiot I like I like I like just
[01:08:00] knowing stories don't exist whether I shoot you in the fucking head with it or
[01:08:04] not exactly good point I mean that's a bad analogy to so I don't know whose side
[01:08:10] to be on no dude I was on my gun exists so it doesn't matter if I shoot you I'm
[01:08:15] just saying like I'm just saying lies I either shoot him in the fucking head you
[01:08:19] know cuz if I shoot him in the head he's dead you know well does we should end
[01:08:24] the show and put on the sopranos how about that it's not bad I'm on episode
[01:08:28] six right now season one I wanted to restart I just watched college the
[01:08:34] episode where he's visit colleges met whoa spoiler episode shot up oh yeah we
[01:08:40] strangle sack I restraint was that guy that's pretty good that was really sick
[01:08:44] that's an okay spoiler why does the scene one thing yeah and season one is
[01:08:50] not a big thing what do you mean it's a big Bobby Q it's a great spoiler your
[01:08:54] mom's big old pussy lips that they died you know give her some down for so
[01:08:59] she's cruising around town those are cool spoilers there's a guy I kind on a
[01:09:04] car yeah yeah yeah yeah my Adam's pussy lips are so big I changed from his mom
[01:09:09] to him nice that they act in an aerodynamic capacity but they also have
[01:09:15] to be shaped just right yeah yeah yeah wind tunnel testing on my pussy is
[01:09:19] sense it there's a guy there's a guy I'm the block like one block away from me I
[01:09:26] walk my dog passes Carl the time he's got in a fucking what do you call it
[01:09:32] what are those trucks the Cadillac trucks the escalator he's got an
[01:09:36] escalator but like the part where it's it's the ex t so it's like gotta kick up
[01:09:41] and then a pickup and then he knows you know there's your gay shit no fuck
[01:09:46] he's got an ex you're gonna get a stupid listen and he put a fucking like
[01:09:51] batwing spoiler in the back it looks retarded if you're gonna get a
[01:09:56] one of the most retarded has no actual use make it look dumb as hell dude I
[01:10:00] love it I love the fucking pickup and escalate ex t yeah remember what they
[01:10:05] thought raptor dude if you're gonna get a pickup you want a cool pickup get a
[01:10:08] raptor what is that if you want an escalate get a fucking escalate don't
[01:10:12] get that fucking I don't really want an escalate yeah I'm gonna raptor though
[01:10:16] yeah rap the raptor I would drive that's cool it is a raptor it's like a
[01:10:21] special package of the F-150 yeah take a big dick F-150 yeah looks cool well
[01:10:28] that's the show guys by the Ford Raptor oh we have a show