Cum Town | Premium | 10/23/2017
[00:00:00] Well, folks, this is going to be a makeup episode.
[00:00:06] We recorded one already, but stop was sick with morbid obesity.
[00:00:14] It was really cool to drive here sick and not release the episode.
[00:00:20] So, you know, I said some things that maybe construed as problematic on that one.
[00:00:25] I did the entire episode in the German language.
[00:00:28] Yeah, that's by Nick standards, by the way.
[00:00:30] So imagine Nick had Wagner playing in the back.
[00:00:33] Yeah, honestly, look, here's what happens.
[00:00:40] Guys, if we go up black, white and red, you're right about me.
[00:00:44] If we go up the neck and the paycheck goes up five grand in the next couple weeks, we'll
[00:00:48] release the problematic she nicked in one or something.
[00:00:50] Yeah, let's get the, so the truth is you've been right the whole time.
[00:00:55] I choose to instead be a guy that denies being alt-right so he can be criticized constantly.
[00:01:05] By everyone demanding that people stop being friends with him.
[00:01:10] That's the next, because that's, you know what, it's harder and I like a challenge.
[00:01:17] I inspire people by, I said, you know what I'm going to do?
[00:01:20] I'm going to be the most racist guy on the left.
[00:01:33] I think we already do a whole episode on what is Batman.
[00:01:37] You know how many shitty comics do the, like his powers that he's rich, like everybody has
[00:01:43] that fucking joke and it's like, I'm pretty sure they acknowledge that in Batman.
[00:01:51] You're not, you're not coming up with a bit about Batman.
[00:01:54] He's being a line from the movie Batman.
[00:01:55] His powers that he's an alien and our son gives him super powers?
[00:02:07] Although a lot of people do have the bit, which is, it is kind of funny.
[00:02:09] It's like, could you just have like put the money in the schools, Batman?
[00:02:14] You know, like, could you just fucking, he's probably better ways to, well, he didn't go
[00:02:33] No, no, no, that's the series, the Ant Man series.
[00:02:44] Then he goes to Asia and he gets a happy ending massage from Rosal Ghoul.
[00:02:59] Is Rosal Ghoul, well, he's like a Muslim, right?
[00:03:05] No, no, what's the Chinese Muslims leaders?
[00:03:18] The way that bitch, that's how fucking knowledge works.
[00:03:21] And then you say it to other people and pretend you already knew it.
[00:03:23] You don't say it back to the guy that told you.
[00:03:26] And I think he said knowledge you gave me homework class.
[00:03:29] You know, I fucking teach you things and you go repeat it.
[00:03:35] It's like if you say anything you've learned, you're copying the teacher.
[00:03:44] Oh, would you learn that fucking formula?
[00:03:49] That's my movie where I'm an inner city school teacher and it's called stand and call the
[00:03:56] Stand and deliver a sweet diss track directly to Lamar's face.
[00:04:03] The guy that tries to like, no, teach inner city kids, but he like completely over shoots
[00:04:08] the mark and just destroys any confidence they had.
[00:04:17] I'm just trying to read the books, sir.
[00:04:25] Here's a gun and I'm going to make it harder because I have acne scars and I somehow have
[00:04:35] Is it from acne or from some sort of congenital?
[00:04:52] I feel like if you have like that much going wrong, you know, it feels like the acne is
[00:04:59] No, I think I've got a lot going for me.
[00:05:03] Body wise, I want to allow you to take my beauty from me.
[00:05:06] Why I'm in my stand and deliver character now.
[00:05:10] I'm a big beautiful, I'm a plus-sized cutie and it's my time to shine in the fall.
[00:05:13] Well, go to the principal's office and take the wide hallway because everyone knows you
[00:05:19] Don't get your fucking fat ass stuck in the little hallway again.
[00:05:24] But there's treats in the little hallway.
[00:05:25] Yeah, how much butter the cafeteria lady had to use to unwedge your fat ass from the
[00:05:32] Just butter, butter baths from being cat.
[00:05:45] One time I thought the elevator was there, but it was out of service.
[00:05:49] I just walked into the shaft and I got wedged three floors below.
[00:05:53] That just poor buckets and buckets of fucking.
[00:05:56] I can't just pump olive oil down there until I slid out the bottom like a fucking hung
[00:06:05] And all the oil was absorbed by my skin.
[00:06:10] Have you ever used a food as a sex lubricant?
[00:06:20] A one girl used to make me use coconut oil.
[00:06:24] Yeah, she said that she like she put it on.
[00:06:33] Was she the lobster from Little Mermaid?
[00:06:38] Sebastian, did he rip your dick off with his balls?
[00:06:52] Because I thought songs were fucking lame.
[00:07:00] When I was a four year old boy, my favorite band.
[00:07:10] Yeah, I definitely had a fucking big Spice Girls phase.
[00:07:17] Two slices of pizza and each hand shivering on the throw.
[00:07:24] I'm sorry I had an okay childhood despite poverty.
[00:07:29] Don't take my fleeting good moments of my childhood away from me, dude.
[00:07:33] I will not accept mockery for that shit.
[00:07:36] I was happy as fuck every time I was in a Chuck E. Cheese.
[00:07:42] Although one time I think I'm talking about this, I did get too scared to go down a big
[00:07:47] And my dad had to walk me back out the other way.
[00:07:54] I used to love getting the fights with kids inside there with their parents.
[00:08:05] I was never a recurring dream about being in a ball pit and then not being able to get
[00:08:11] I dreamed about a society in a ball pit.
[00:08:14] Like, coming back to recess, that was in the days when my mom would say, when we were
[00:08:19] good, she would take us to the fancy McDonald's.
[00:08:21] You just want to have a show to the fancy McDonald's.
[00:08:27] That was the dumb dog McDonald's, right?
[00:08:33] It was so bootleg, it was in the shopping center by Santoni's market for anybody, for
[00:08:45] But they had the most hooked up play pen of all fucking time, bro.
[00:08:49] Like, it looked like a chucky cheese out that motherfucker.
[00:08:53] And when we were just regular good, we got Popeyes.
[00:08:55] When she really wanted it, we got to fucking play in the fucking, when Venetia was really
[00:08:59] happy with our conduct, we got to go to the big ass McDonald's, dude.
[00:09:03] Damn, though, that Popeyes after fucking the library.
[00:09:10] Oh, uh, I guess we should also mention we are going to rescind our shout out to Shane.
[00:09:17] But only the pedophile part, the trans part still gets the shout out.
[00:09:30] We should have known better than thinking we have a trans fan.
[00:09:38] And I'd say trans pedophile, it's like a starter home.
[00:09:42] I will take trans pedophile trans fan, right?
[00:09:47] Maybe five, 10 years from now, I'll get an Asian lady that likes screaming online.
[00:09:53] I think that's well within 10 years, a real trans person.
[00:09:56] Well, real, but doesn't beat off the kids, you mean?
[00:10:05] Yeah, that's, you know, kind of a tough, that was tough, but also the, timing wise,
[00:10:23] I mean, anyone's going to have a trip and it turns out to be like, I liked it like,
[00:10:29] Chappo and Josh accidentally made like sort of like, well, I guess I don't know if the
[00:10:33] time works out that they accidentally do a rape joke on like rape week, you know,
[00:10:38] And then it's like, you know, oh man, like what bad luck for them.
[00:11:07] It's one of those like the male thing, which like lose like a.
[00:11:17] I really love to get it delivered by hot air balloon.
[00:11:27] You know what might be my favorite movie.
[00:11:35] I thought your favorite movies were the McDonald's VHS tapes that they used to give
[00:11:42] I never witnessed them, but I knew that was a thing that you could get.
[00:11:49] I remember the commercials for McDonald's movie.
[00:11:51] Oh, also shout out to the McDonald's East Point Mall.
[00:11:55] That was another good one right next to Aladdin's.
[00:11:57] These are the McDonald's of my U.S. life.
[00:11:59] You know, I used to love that McDonald's and it was right across from the brass hen.
[00:12:05] A Chinese place that sold very good fried chicken.
[00:12:10] Me and my brother George had some recently.
[00:12:12] They really know how to fry up some bird over there at the brass hen.
[00:12:23] It's all in those fucked up Chinese oils that has a bunch of other shit in there like egg
[00:12:28] I went to one of those places the other day.
[00:12:31] When they nail a wing, they nail it baby.
[00:12:34] I went to one of those Chinese food, some Philly cheese, make fried chicken.
[00:12:41] You know, basically every kind of place.
[00:12:47] I had a, it was actually before we shot the sketch and I had a, I had a shopping bag full
[00:12:54] I went in there with a, with a Walgreens bag full of adult diapers.
[00:13:02] Anyway, if you have those VHS McDonald's, let me know.
[00:13:04] Also if you have the Kyrie, Mamba mentality shoes and a 13.
[00:13:12] I don't like Kobe, but what I say, I love kill bill.
[00:13:14] I'm kind of thinking about being Uma Thurman from kill bill for Halloween.
[00:13:17] I do have those, um, asics I have are the kill bill.
[00:13:26] You have a little ask me what, maybe I'll look those up.
[00:13:33] Um, anyway, what, uh, what else is going on?
[00:13:36] What did you, I bought, I bought a, I was in Los Angeles.
[00:13:44] I, uh, I got, finally got one of those golds gym, but like the blue racer tanks.
[00:13:50] Uh, immediately, because you're so proud of how you looked in it.
[00:13:56] You look, yeah, you look, I said something when I'm not fucking disgustingly fat anymore.
[00:13:58] And um, I'm finally like worth maybe looking at without shielding your eyes.
[00:14:07] Why get why you're this is all, this is all your stuff.
[00:14:10] That's why you mock me why you mock me.
[00:14:16] Because I can see your self see my reflection and you're glistening bald head.
[00:14:19] One of the things that I think makes our show all the oil leaking out of your fucking stomach
[00:14:24] Yeah, I'm getting up under your face. I have your body. I have a beautiful amount of natural oils
[00:14:29] My skin is soft to the fridge. Yeah, you're you're you should just grainy and fucked up
[00:14:35] You never get sick because your fucking fat stomach heats your sweat like a Theraflu exactly and you're just inhaled
[00:14:41] These are all positives you keep trying to make negatives and I will not accept them you're gay bit
[00:14:46] There we go. I'm like look you're not wrong about that one either
[00:14:52] Yeah, but you're ugly and you both have bad skin. Yeah, I don't know my skin's okay
[00:14:57] Racine's talking about going getting a cabin upstate you saying before things shoot some guns and shit
[00:15:03] But I have to think gaming is tough timing. Yeah, we're all gonna probably leave. Well. I am I'm gonna go home
[00:15:08] I'm going home, too. I would go at a different time though. I'd love to hit a cabin up, dude
[00:15:14] Commit some never mind. Yeah, I'm trying to shoot you know some lambs maybe some pigs. Holy fuck dude
[00:15:22] Yo slow roast a fucking lamb dude fucking
[00:15:29] No, you can get that shit from like how you need to age bro, let's get a lamb and
[00:15:35] Tough if you cook it right then there chicken you need fresh, dude
[00:15:39] Let's get a damn and fucking slow roasted Easter style. Holy fuck on a spit. I just got
[00:15:49] Raw you know you eat it alive probably cuz it tastes you got to cook it immediately. Yeah, you probably taste good live
[00:16:02] Sushi with the fuck is sushi. Yeah, but sushi is
[00:16:05] Scallops taste good sushi sushi is frozen. It's not fresh
[00:16:11] They freeze the fish immediately and it's frozen for like a week
[00:16:15] But I bet if you ate that shit fresh it would taste good as hell fresh fish
[00:16:23] Universally wanted thing. Can we go on a parisets Japan or Japan tour? I would fucking love to I want to do it
[00:16:32] We have to set up one show in Japan lose money on it's a business expense. Yeah, I'm telling you what I'm gonna
[00:16:37] Do is when I get when I use Gran Turismo to become an international race truck
[00:16:42] Yeah, I'll get sponsored by Japan for racing the whole country
[00:16:49] They'll bring me there and then you guys can come with in the back of the race car. I would love that I would absolutely love that
[00:16:56] You know stop weighing down the back. Yeah, that's your real test to get extra traction
[00:17:03] That would probably help would it yeah, you have added traction
[00:17:06] Oh, I know because you're doing all that Tokyo drift in Japan all the racing is drifting
[00:17:10] That's all drift the only way to get into Japan is to cause two million dollars worth of property
[00:17:15] And have the judge sentence you to living in an exotic country
[00:17:25] Yeah, I mean I think that it would just be really cool to go there and then go to that fish market in Tokyo
[00:17:32] Oh, we're from Giro dreams of sushi. Yeah. Yeah, one of my favorite
[00:17:36] Norm McDonald jokes is like so it was like the sequel didn't do so well
[00:17:52] What for that secret is where he's like they say
[00:17:56] Pimpin ain't easy. It's certainly a lot easier than being a common street whore
[00:18:04] Yes, that's a norm. He's the best. Yeah, although I don't agree with the logic of that joke which one
[00:18:10] I've been pasted a lot more working okay, okay, it's easier to fucking do a little logistics than to get dick down by
[00:18:27] I think that's harder than get then receiving pipe from ugly motherfuckers. Yeah, you know I would rather do the
[00:18:36] You got a gentleman's the only one with real personal experience with the biz. Yeah, tell us. Yeah, let us know
[00:18:41] Okay, so who's who has it worse the pimp or your victims?
[00:18:52] He went with the thing that actually makes you uncomfortable instead of a joke I had a couple
[00:18:58] Putting that boy pussy on the stroll putting it on the stroll and I have tremendous respect for amen
[00:19:04] These fucking recorders weren't free, you know, yeah, it's true. We had to fundraise some startup capital for the podcast
[00:19:12] Suck for it Adam. We had a meeting the three of us and it seemed like that was the only idea
[00:19:18] We had Adam used to suck off guys in the bathroom at LaGuardia
[00:19:21] And it was actually he operated at a loss because you have to buy a boarding pass
[00:19:28] So he was spending thousands of dollars a week on unused airfare so he could go in the bathroom and suck off Korean business
[00:19:36] That's right, but he you got a lot of points on your delta. I did. Yeah, it's all about miles
[00:19:46] Miles what I think about getting a mortgage for a house. No just to have them, you know
[00:19:53] Yeah, it gets $700,000 from the bank and then just pay it off and then the house could be all the shit I buy with the money
[00:19:59] Oh, interesting that you can do that. No, of course not
[00:20:04] That's just alone what you're talking about. Yeah, why it's also an unsecured loan or is a mortgage has
[00:20:09] There's a house. I'm surprised you thought that was real Adam. Yeah, uh, why I'm not good at money. Oh boy
[00:20:16] I'm not oh here. We go. Uh-huh. Yep. That is one. This is where this is playing possum
[00:20:23] This is that is what's stereotype that I'm not good
[00:20:26] That might be right that I do not hold up to
[00:20:32] Not at all. Yeah, you just have a lot of loans because you're fucking idiot. Did you went to G. Doug?
[00:20:37] College. Yeah, I'm not even bad with that's not what makes me bad at money
[00:20:42] It makes me bad at money is I I looked at
[00:20:45] Gucci loafers on the Internet how much hours this week how much I want Gucci loafers. They're like four hundred dollars
[00:20:51] That's doable man. Honestly, it's a classic style right around town right around town
[00:20:57] You have those for you have those for your entire life
[00:21:01] I gotta get some Nike sweats. Yeah, I'm thinking about really investing in some sweatsuits for the winter
[00:21:07] Yeah, you know, I'm gonna wear a lot of crew necks. You should get a wet suit actually
[00:21:13] You know that way you can stay moist what you need to live
[00:21:16] a wet suit now you're thinking of a whale and then and then we can clear out your blowhole with a
[00:21:22] You know like a little stick or something
[00:21:23] You're actually thinking of an aquatic will if you if I'm a man who happens to be a little larger than normal
[00:21:33] Shouts out to all the women out there who also love a man with a little extra
[00:21:38] You know actually for me shout out to all the women out there not even the ones who don't I'm only shouting out
[00:21:45] Like a word disgusted by the no no in fact having anti shout out to you who are disgusting
[00:21:50] I think all of them because you're against body positivity
[00:21:53] So don't like Ashley Graham's pictures if you're not gonna jerk me off
[00:22:04] Anyone take anyone can like an Ashley Graham write that article and watch people fucking struggle to figure out how to
[00:22:11] Dude, I'm literally gonna do it and see what they say
[00:22:15] But can I do that on one of the magazines you work for yeah, yeah, Jaco
[00:22:21] You want to be a real body positive allies stop liking Ashley Graham's pictures and have sex with a fat man
[00:22:30] Thank you I had a picture here first I put a pitch into Jaco Bean and it was accepted being what it's called
[00:22:38] How to say words stupid to impress people and then make them think you have a personality
[00:22:42] Personality have you not seen Zulander Jaco Bean Mugatu? Oh nice
[00:22:47] You're doing the hominom no, that's the way that you say wait
[00:22:51] Did you pitch mugatu is that what this bit is about no I pitched a new article for Jaco men and it was accepted
[00:23:02] Fat asses are more popular than big-ass titties and if biggest titties are gonna
[00:23:08] I would love to take the opposite approach called we need to have a debate series for Jaco
[00:23:19] Jacobin magazine and that girl that's mad at us on the internet present
[00:23:24] Yo, what is more fucking socialist working class than a big fat pair of fucking working class meaty titties
[00:23:30] You tell me and all the old fucking pictures and shit women in the fields working hard. They got big swingin
[00:23:36] My money you have to breastfeed all of the radio operators. Yes, exactly right New York was RC control
[00:23:45] Other people don't know that you saw be vacuum tubes and RC's yes
[00:23:50] Yeah, you know there is here ships in the air you pulled your pants all the way up to your neck
[00:23:57] You're lunch at an automatic absolutely there was 800 murders a day per block Wow all in salt classic New York classic
[00:24:07] Actually, if you've ever seen the naked city
[00:24:12] Movie shot entirely in New York City is pretty cool. See old is everyone naked
[00:24:17] Yes, actually nice a completely nude movie
[00:24:20] No, it's about a murder and these guys that have to solve it
[00:24:22] But there's shots of the Williamsburg bridge used to have this like
[00:24:29] Stended out further so that like school sure that's like in the middle on the mat
[00:24:33] No on the man just side of the I probably pointed it out when we were riding bikes around. Yeah. Yeah
[00:24:38] I love all that shit, dude. Oh me too. I love New York history. Yeah, I really do
[00:24:42] I feel like everyone does and I feel like that's my most basic bitch shit
[00:24:46] Everyone likes to look at old New York, but I fucking love it
[00:24:50] Book if you that my friends dad gave me when I moved here. Hell yeah, do you comment propaganda with big estities
[00:24:57] I got something here. Let's co-author something Amber Amber come on. Let's co-author something
[00:25:02] Yeah, hell yeah published author business nothing more working class than a pair of like my mom's left
[00:25:08] It was a team stir and her right to it was
[00:25:10] United I'm serious man about this. This is so you know what? Let's not joke. Some things are too important to joke about and this is one of them
[00:25:21] Anyway, old New York and shit. What are we talking about? Yeah? Well my favorite thing that I learned about
[00:25:27] Also, there's a not Ken Burns, but his brother Rick Burns Rick Burns does a good nice to be confused with
[00:25:37] Does it like third brother? Thanks everybody
[00:25:42] But yeah, you know, it's really learn about is right what yeah smooth
[00:25:50] Not allowed to be gay in my power plate smithers classic mr. Burns line
[00:25:58] Don't mr. Burns. I'm not with the gay shit smithers mr. Burns are you my boss
[00:26:08] Everybody remembers that episode. Yeah, that's a good one
[00:26:11] Yeah, he presses the button and the dogs come out are there any cuz smithers is gay because they smell a gay guy and
[00:26:17] The dogs go crazy and they smell a gay guy. Yep. Yes, sir
[00:26:26] It's a new guy character is a southern guy that's pretending like he's seen this
[00:26:43] Yep, I've seen every episode of that show. Oh, by the way, funky the clown cranky every single one and said
[00:26:58] Please don't kick me out of the KKK meeting
[00:27:12] Children's cough sir. Yeah, it smells like diamond. I think that's
[00:27:17] Yo, shout out to diamond tap the most delicious
[00:27:21] Amber if you guys wanted she uses children's cough syrup his hairs
[00:27:27] Yo, I would love to fucking sir. I would love to aerosol up some diamond tap and spray it in my mouth
[00:27:33] That'd be cool, dude. You ever do you ever get fucked up off scissor liquid coating. I did. Yeah, yeah in college shit
[00:27:39] Fuckin. Yo, let's get some coding dude. I'm a if you have coding
[00:27:43] I love taking drugs and getting fucked up and driving around. Oh, yeah, I remember that
[00:27:47] I've never done that but I'm a trip. Um, what did I do? Oh me and elders had a fucking time recently dude
[00:27:54] We are really fucking today. I went to Costco. I'm starting my fucking life over. Yeah, I got veggies
[00:28:00] I got fucking chicken thighs my life. Okay, I got fucking you know
[00:28:04] Shut the fuck up everyone shut the fuck up. All right. It's happening this time. Okay, but recently me and others really went on one
[00:28:11] Dude, yeah cost me the worst place to go if you're like, yeah, I'm trying to eat healthy. No, it's not they got fucking oh, please
[00:28:17] They have like a fucking a barrel with a bear with Kirkland brand and buy any of that shit
[00:28:22] I'm sure you will I will not I got a Costco membership. I got greens. That's pretty cheap produce produce cheap
[00:28:29] It's a lot of produce to next time you guys go get me one of those salmon fillets
[00:28:34] I've been talking about I got one about one of those get me one of those. I'm gonna chop it up
[00:28:37] You put it in the freezer. It's what I'm doing power tools. No with power
[00:28:42] Yeah, that's the best way use a jigsaw to cut frozen fish a regular knife
[00:28:46] No, you gotta you get a scroll saw and you slide that piece of fish right through there
[00:28:51] You get real accurate cuts. Oh, cuz you want thins you want to make salmon. That's what the samurai do dude. That's right, man
[00:28:57] Yeah, do you have to supply your own stupid outfit when you become a sushi chef in America?
[00:29:02] Yeah, I think it's like a drag queen that weird diaper they wear on their head. No, you have to buy it all yourself
[00:29:08] That's why if you're broke a shit. You just putting pampers on your head. Yeah, you know, yeah getting a ladies kimono and wearing it around
[00:29:15] Do you know that that Robin you can tell someone's poor because they have a sheer kimono you can see his dick
[00:29:31] This is so close to the tuna. Yeah, I had an idea to go down to you know one of those southeast Asian countries is an expat
[00:29:41] Like I like William Holden and bridge on the River Quad character. I go down there and
[00:29:48] You know, I'm just this you know swash buckle in American
[00:29:51] I started a restaurant called Ricky's tiny Chinese penis
[00:29:55] Where it's like a tiki bar and all of the waiters are Asian men that have to wear a tux a white tuxedo from the waist up
[00:30:05] And they come up to your table and they're like, oh, please I am so
[00:30:14] Will be or the Ricky's tiny Chinese penis
[00:30:19] That's good that's good it rolls off the tongue. Yeah, Ricky's tiny Chinese penis
[00:30:23] Ricky's tiny. This is actually a bit I came up with years ago while eating at a Chinese restaurant
[00:30:28] That's good and looking at a guy's car. Yeah
[00:30:37] John Travolta trying to fish the waiters dick
[00:30:46] Harvey Weinstein shit is like John Travolta was doing that the man and everyone's like that's funny
[00:30:51] Well, yeah, he was trying to jack open his asshole up and made the guy look into it like a
[00:30:56] Periscope. Yeah, I think so. Oh Travolta is like a rapist. Yeah, nobody gives a shit because he's you know
[00:31:04] Yeah, it's all Italians are that's true even the gay ones rise
[00:31:09] Even the gay ones rape. Yeah, that's what they do. They put on racing gloves and latex pants and they go around
[00:31:18] Violating boundaries at the massage parlor
[00:31:27] No, I'm not gay. I just want to see if yours is big in a mind. No offense
[00:31:34] Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa show me your fucking Salic
[00:31:37] Let me see your penis. Hey, come on. Hey, let me get a peek. Let me get a little fucking hey
[00:31:42] Let me get a little taste over here. What's that can only frost and taste like pal?
[00:31:48] Let me see that fucking gravy. It's nice nice weather here in New York
[00:31:54] Within the nice couple of days in the in summer my main Gucci man got married speaking of a second a second chance to do some
[00:32:02] Late late in the ear cat calling you know
[00:32:06] Yep, that's some bike riding. I'm excited to get the bikes out bike riding. I'm a ride fucking tomorrow
[00:32:11] I rode the Bay Ridge. Oh, you know went down there
[00:32:15] Man, those specific neighborhoods just suck. They're gross. Yeah, there's like not like all those shops seem like they suck
[00:32:21] Yeah, I can't imagine having a buy shit
[00:32:24] From was a acidic supermarket not far from here called supreme. Yeah
[00:32:31] Well, it's like it's almost worse than the other
[00:32:34] Confused high-piece they're worse than the other ethnic ghettos like you know like at least a family dollar
[00:32:39] I'm like familiar with like the his acidic version of family dollar. Oh my god, you know the deal
[00:32:46] Imagine that everything is you give them money. No, it's just filled with bullshit. That's most of us
[00:32:52] Salt shakers that don't include the top
[00:32:58] My friends as seen on TV aisle where it's like a fork with a knife on the other hand
[00:33:03] Bullshit that nobody wanted that seems pretty
[00:33:07] Convenient Mac max was telling me he got his uncle his uncle was in town and he got him a hotel in south Williamsburg
[00:33:13] Yeah, and he didn't realize it was like a hoset hotel
[00:33:16] And he said they checked in the room and there was a there was a picture on the wall like for art of a clown
[00:33:25] And it had the plastic wrap and the amount of money that they paid
[00:33:37] It's odd we put it on the we're turning as soon as the hotel closes down
[00:33:41] For years later we're done with the clown
[00:33:49] We never took the packaging off. There's a place on on Lee that cracks me up every time I see it where it's like
[00:33:55] It's supposed to be a Toys R Us knockoff. That's the same exact font and it's just toys for you
[00:34:02] Yeah, it's toys are I still going I think they went out of business
[00:34:05] Damn all right your allegations against Jeffrey the giraffe that came out. He put his whole neck in a little girl's pussy
[00:34:15] He sucked off we have to shut down because Jeffrey the giraffe put his whole neck in a little girl's
[00:34:28] That would be a cool way for them to go
[00:34:30] It really would be honestly you're out of business anyway, dude who gives a fuck yeah
[00:34:34] My name is John toys. I'm the founder of Toys R Us and since we're going out of business. I just want to say
[00:34:44] I always hated them. I only I only started this store so I could get a giant Mario
[00:34:51] Remember that I giant Mario giant sonic I do remember that shit back when they didn't have big TVs
[00:34:57] So they just stacked like nine shitty small TVs together. Oh, yeah, I
[00:35:01] Remember playing Mario on a big-ass TV and it just my mind being blown
[00:35:06] But big TVs in the not early 90s just sucked dick. Oh, yeah, it was just huge pixel rear projection TV
[00:35:12] Yeah, it was like fuck up, you know, they burn into the screen. Oh, yeah
[00:35:16] Yeah horrible that was that's like like a strong childhood memory is like you'd go to somebody's house
[00:35:21] You'd be like whoa because they had like some big screen. Yeah like kidney infection yellow
[00:35:27] Yes, yes sectional sofa and then a fucking TV that you know look like a transformer
[00:35:34] Yeah, they're dads got like the sofa that has the lazy boys built in with the cup holders. Yeah, yeah
[00:35:40] That's a good wave though. I'm I'm a daddy's throne my dad loves humongous shit
[00:35:45] He just builds like big-ass fucking annoying big ass things big ass chairs enormous
[00:35:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:35:57] Look man. Why did people keep fucking putting Kit Kats in the little hallway?
[00:36:01] Do you know what I mean? Is it my fault?
[00:36:03] You know that I keep trying to get a Kit Kat we keep putting in the little hallway guys stops on edge because it's Halloween candy season
[00:36:09] Yeah, dude. I'm triggered. He's really trying to turn his life around. Fuck dude. I really need to man
[00:36:17] Although I will say I'm in 38. I'm out of the 40 club for once in my life, dude
[00:36:22] 38 why don't you hit the 30s dude? I'm a smooth sailing from there. Okay, if I could get down to a 36
[00:36:31] 2 yeah, I wear 32 ways. I've lost like I've got like space now though. Oh losing weight bro. I'm a 30 boy
[00:36:40] Come see me this summer dude. Dude eight inches your your Adam Friedland size
[00:36:44] I don't want to be your size dude. I want to be there. I got terribly emasculated on Friday night
[00:36:50] When I got to amber's birthday party wasted
[00:36:53] And amber's also drunk and I said happy birthday
[00:36:56] She gave me a bear hug and then picked me up off the ground for about like five or six
[00:37:01] And then they just passed you around the fucking little party like a little raggedy and
[00:37:07] Your light is shit dude the bartender accidentally put you in somebody's cocktail
[00:37:10] I'm holding a big ass umbrella. You got your umbrella way too
[00:37:17] Yep, is this someone's faggot colada? Yeah
[00:37:23] Sorry, there's a bug in your own island iced tea
[00:37:31] I wish I could have gone to the birthday party me too. It was dead. I was in beautiful sunny los angeles
[00:37:38] It was a safe space for women eating a shitty asperito
[00:37:42] Sorry to hear it. I was sick of shit. I like I like Kurt pick where we're eating dinner
[00:37:47] Mmm, and he picked the frozen aisle of the grocery store first of all
[00:37:51] It was him and Annie Letterman and they're like let's go to dinner and they're both retarded so like
[00:37:56] And he's like just follow me and then she made like every single unprotected left like if you're familiar with
[00:38:02] LA you know that there's like the fucking east west streets that right and then going north and south
[00:38:09] It's mostly residential streets with the exception of like big through ways like, you know
[00:38:15] Like a slobreya or crescent or fucking you know
[00:38:18] Fairfax so she goes she drives we're going north south
[00:38:21] She drives all through residential neighborhood so every time and then zigzag so we get the end of residential street
[00:38:27] And then she takes an unprotected left onto some busy so it's like impossible to fucking follow fucking bitch
[00:38:35] You fucking and it was all to go to this like burrito place that was like
[00:38:41] Completely fucking unspectacular the name was Los tacos
[00:38:47] Can you imagine how fucking lazy of a Mexican person you have to be to name your restaurant the tacos?
[00:38:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know like that and that's their language too, right
[00:38:56] You know, it'll be like if I'm opening a restaurant. It's called, you know hot dogs
[00:39:00] The sandwich yeah try to check out the sandwiches and it's not even like you know cuz restaurants
[00:39:06] I would you know what's weird like deconstruction bullshit where places are like
[00:39:10] Restaurant but one of the letters is missing. Yeah, yeah, you know, I just I just upgraded speaking of tacos
[00:39:16] I would honestly I would eat at the sandwich though the sandwich. I would eat at the sandwich
[00:39:20] I probably got a big eight good sandwich. Yeah, dude. I mean that sounds like some hipster shit like dude
[00:39:24] There's this taco place by me. It's literally called El Taco. Yeah, unbelievable. Tim. I do smell bad
[00:39:30] I was hanging on my fucking father all weekend. I think I caught I think I caught greek body over. Yep, that's how it works
[00:39:36] You know, my man smells worse than everyone have you being around a manual halkius on a full work day
[00:39:42] It's brutal dude. You could you could hop into his van if he picked you up after school
[00:39:46] Yeah, and then it would take two days for the shit to go the stench to come off you
[00:39:50] Do you remember that soft core poor sounds like a morgue on cinnabax and man you will my dad
[00:39:55] Do you remember that one? Yeah, it was about my father. It was about your dad
[00:39:58] Yeah, my dad Emmanuel. She was like in space or something. Oh space now. We're talking
[00:40:03] Soft core porn is a good name for stop like implying that his core is soft
[00:40:09] Yeah, that's every time I make porn a soft core. Maybe
[00:40:16] Just lay your titties on my stomach while we fuck
[00:40:18] Gross, I think it's hot. Thank you. I think it's disgusting again, you know
[00:40:24] That's your that's check your privilege. It's not fat privilege
[00:40:28] Okay, it was fat nothing. I am allowed two weeks. Oh, you're an uncle. You're a fat uncle tom dude
[00:40:34] You're just fucking switching on your own people. Yeah now that you fucking got skin lightning. You're michael jackson, dude
[00:40:40] Yeah, you got fucking you bleach your skin and now you're fucking white
[00:40:43] Yeah, dude said you you lost weight and now you're not fat anymore
[00:40:46] Your heart is still fat stop your arteries are still clogged bitch. Actually. They're not yes. It is
[00:40:51] No, I got that shit checked. I'm fine. No, you're gonna die soon too. Stop was born this way
[00:40:55] I was literally born 300. I was born first of all
[00:41:04] This is something that I'm not gonna look up that
[00:41:09] Got the fourth ever successful penis transplant. He got a black man's penis salute
[00:41:15] That sounds fake as shit. That's how I hope it's real. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds very
[00:41:19] The only part of that that I believe was fake was that it was successful. Yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:41:24] I believe that the surgery happened that it came from a live donor
[00:41:32] Yeah, the guy's just eating a live octopus and cutting off a black guy's got some some tribesmen that was captured by
[00:41:41] They went to the bullish. They just came down in helicopters. Is it trying to heavy in Africa right now? Like yeah, they're really heavily
[00:41:47] Yeah, yeah, they bought basically Africa the last 20 years. Yeah, damn dude
[00:41:51] This is like a game of stratego and they're by one then they're gonna find risk
[00:41:56] Yeah, whatever which is T go stratego is a completely different game
[00:41:59] It's like checkers where you don't know where the pieces are isn't it about the world?
[00:42:04] Stratego is like there's no map involved in stratego
[00:42:06] Which stratego is is it's chess if you couldn't see the other pieces
[00:42:13] You're telling me no not really well. No, it's like it's yeah
[00:42:17] It's a checker board and certain pieces stratego is actually a lot of fun
[00:42:23] But risk can't go you know two player board games. Those are for children for lonely children. That's right grown ups
[00:42:30] And uh, give me that fucking wool bitch. Yeah, give me the fucking or
[00:42:35] My cousin had this thing for pia's trying to build or which was like everyone can play on their cell phones
[00:42:41] Except you you weren't a lot to play. No, I was a lot to play. You weren't a lot to play
[00:42:46] Don't let your cousin Adam play because he'll be afraid of the people he's afraid of monopoly
[00:42:52] He'll be crying. Oh no, it's that little dog might eat him
[00:42:59] Makes him fear the little dog character. He can't play monopoly
[00:43:08] If it falls to be trap hat since they'll be get him out me Adam's dad
[00:43:13] What was your guys go to peace race car, right?
[00:43:16] Come on. Remember dude monopoly. I never know
[00:43:19] I thought the top hat was pretty slick. You thought top hat was cool. Yeah, I like that
[00:43:25] I did a bit I did a bit for race wars one time where I
[00:43:31] Ex-pock was there hell. Yeah, you know, shut down and they have in the he was in one night in china, right?
[00:43:36] Yes, r.i.p. Joni lauler. Jesus Christ. Yeah, dude. Just like Mary man. Were they yeah, they were dating
[00:43:43] The woman is their body is barely cold anyhow. I just some respect I did a bit on
[00:43:51] Uh, uh, x-pock was there and I sucked off x-pock. Yeah
[00:43:57] No, I played I played somebody that was uh, transracial
[00:44:01] You know, and it was like right on the toll is all thing happened
[00:44:04] I was like, yeah, I go to school for it. That's where I like came up with you know
[00:44:07] I discovered that I was transracial and x-pocked out. It was real
[00:44:11] I was like, yeah, I just I've always known that I'm um, you know, I was black
[00:44:17] And you know, as a kid, we would all play jeopardy other kids who want to be the race car or the top hat
[00:44:21] And I always wanted to play as the dice
[00:44:25] That's my good line. You said jeopardy you met monopoly, but it still works. It's a very good job. Yeah, whatever
[00:44:31] I wish I was better at saying the words in my head. Yeah, dude
[00:44:35] I'm sorry, dude monopoly jeopardy, you know, there's synonyms a lot of people
[00:44:39] I know that the end in my synonym is any word that has the same number of uh of uh parables in it
[00:44:48] Those are synonyms. Yep. Those are synonyms. All right. Yeah, I'm fucking good as shit at talking
[00:44:55] Amber's opening a slot ever though in a sexy sandwich big ass Sam
[00:45:00] I would stick my nuts in there. What is that a sloppy joe?
[00:45:04] Kobe beef and avocado my dude. So Kobe beef. What is that the black cows? They killed Kobe Bryant? Oh, they can do it
[00:45:15] Kobe beef. Those are the ones that make chocolate milk. Am I right?
[00:45:27] Other people that are like donk and shouldn't be allowed
[00:45:34] Literally yes in the 50s when they first got black people in they outlawed dunking
[00:45:40] Because of exactly the bit you're doing
[00:45:50] No, they literally they expanded the paint area because will chamberlain was like humiliating too many white
[00:45:58] Yeah, too many six five centers. Yeah, shout out to will to dude. What a life
[00:46:05] And then he probably fucked so many white women and made so many races to be to be honest
[00:46:09] He's he's lying about having sex with that many women. How much is it over 20,000? Yeah, that's a lie
[00:46:21] 365 has done the math 365 goes into 20,000
[00:46:30] Fucking care so in that in 27 years is to fuck a different woman every day. He could do that
[00:46:40] It has to be a different woman. No, yes, it has guess it has to be a different woman. Yes. That's what 20,000 means. Okay, fine
[00:46:46] All right, fuck. I wish I was like one of those did he say 20,000 women or 20,000 times?
[00:46:51] So okay, so if will chamberlain started at age 15
[00:46:54] From then up to the age of 55 when the book was published and he made the claim
[00:46:59] He would have had 40 years to sleep with 20,000 women. It's 54 54 years to sleep 20,000
[00:47:05] No, no, but they're saying the book came out when he was 55 and assuming he started having sex at 15. Okay, 20,000
[00:47:13] Divided 40 years. So that would have 65
[00:47:16] Is 54.79 so he would have had to start fucking at age one. No, no, no, no, that makes a woman every day
[00:47:26] Says if he started at 15 and then he had sex up to through that from then to 55, which is what's that 40 years?
[00:47:35] Then he would have had 40 years to sleep with 20,000 women or 500 women a year which
[00:47:42] breaks down to 1.4 1.4 women a day also, it's like he's probably not dude
[00:47:48] You know how he had a couple orgies where there's 20 bitches. You know how many how meticulous record you would have to keep you're right
[00:47:54] He's probably throwing a number out there probably 10,000. There's nobody that's even jacked off that much
[00:48:03] No, that means more than you don't think you've jacked on for every day of your fucking life
[00:48:07] We all put up numbers from ages 13 to fucking 15
[00:48:11] Yeah, but if you're talking max like four times a day here and there yeah
[00:48:17] Okay, you know, he's a fucking lie. You don't think in a lifetime you'll beat off 20k. No, I won't
[00:48:22] I really don't think that I'll hit that fucking number. I probably beat off a hundred times a year at the most Wow
[00:48:30] Let's see here. I guess I go I go through stretch where I don't beat off that beat off a lot
[00:48:36] Just accept the numbers stop roast. You're not as powerful as you thought you were you're right, man
[00:48:40] Numbers don't lie. You know, I don't you know what I really don't like how much I don't understand numbers. Yeah, it makes me upset
[00:48:47] I was really I wish I knew number. I was really hoping I was gonna nail that math
[00:48:50] I wish I had that kind of autism. Yeah, you got people just say two two numbers
[00:48:55] I don't even really have autism. I'm just sort of a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah
[00:49:01] You get into this zone where you can't help but say things and I feel like that's not autism if anything that's Tourette's
[00:49:10] About the teenage Tourette's camp that might be the name. It's fucking hilarious
[00:49:15] It's these like British teenagers that all have Tourette's that are in like a school for
[00:49:20] You know, they all have Tourette's so they're all fucking mean as shit
[00:49:23] Like they're on the bus and there's this fat girl
[00:49:25] And then there's this like me autistic kid like or you know Tourette's kid like four seats behind her and he's like jens fat
[00:49:42] And they come to america and then while they're in america one of them is like
[00:49:49] Twin towers 911 twin towers, you know, yeah, dude. Yeah, that's actually really funny dude. It's great
[00:49:55] I might have to rewatch that shit teenage Tourette's camp and then there's another one about this
[00:50:00] These British kids that have a disease where they can't stop eating and I think the name of that might be cancer
[00:50:05] Oh, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah with the fact kid that looks just like stop
[00:50:11] He does not use those cues and he's like talk with any obsessed with girls, you know, he's like
[00:50:20] Tell a joke called to go out with her and it's like
[00:50:24] Sarah has called off the date after seeing a picture of Joe in the newspaper
[00:50:31] No, Joe you fat fuck. I'm sorry brother. Yeah, that happens to you all the time. Never had girls see your picture in the newspaper
[00:50:42] I'm gonna stop posting my shit on the world's most stuck in hallway, man
[00:50:45] Stuck in hallway. Yo, I'm way cuter than this mother. It's red-faced good. You look just like him. Nah, dude
[00:50:51] No chance. He's got those weird titties that like
[00:50:56] A wider shit, so I've has the good titties. I do have the good titties. Thank you. I have the prime fat man's body
[00:51:03] You know describe it little titties powerful haunches
[00:51:07] You know, it's a little bit of a stomach sure
[00:51:21] None of that pesky hair getting in the way of things
[00:51:34] That's your native american name. Yo, something like a week out from the new blade runner. Fuck that movie
[00:51:39] You say fuck it. Yeah, I just don't now that I'm like I've had time away from it
[00:51:43] It's like I took nothing away from that that film. I heard it was boring
[00:51:47] It's I mean, it's just not boring enough that you don't get pissed off sitting through three hours of it
[00:51:55] Yeah, you know what it is fucking boring and remind me it was a lot like episode one
[00:51:59] But like george lukes's fuck-ups are so apparent and stupid right they're just goofy
[00:52:05] That you just don't like care actually you know what it's more like episode two
[00:52:09] Episode two was a piece of shit. Yeah, right?
[00:52:13] Years a plot things happen. You don't really care. Attack of the clones. You're not invested in it. You know, it's just yeah, it's all right
[00:52:21] You said episode two was okay. Oh fucking
[00:52:24] I don't expect anything from star wars movie. I just want to have an okay time
[00:52:27] That was the intro of jar jar right was it I thought he was in the first reason the first one
[00:52:32] Oh, yeah, he was in the first three. I think
[00:52:44] You know fucking jar jar was getting fucking did anyone call obama. Oh jar jar. I'm sure that would mean
[00:52:50] That would have been funny if that was the big one
[00:52:53] There's definitely some kind of jar jar obama
[00:52:59] Love star wars. What did you know that his original name was new jar jar? No. Yeah, shut up. I I'm kidding. Yeah, it's spelled
[00:53:10] Somebody had to tell George Lucas. You couldn't name him new jar jar
[00:53:20] That's our naive. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, how about a movie? Uh, Jake Gyllenhaal stars in jar jar head
[00:53:28] You know and he's a marine that wears the jar jar binks mask. That's good during the golf war
[00:53:32] There was like what the fuck is that? He's a
[00:53:35] It's a movie that's coming out in like 10 years. Misa
[00:53:40] Jake jar jar Gyllenhaal Misa want to commit war crimes on behalf of
[00:53:48] About how about jar jar word, you know, don't say the jar word. What's the jar word the R word?
[00:54:01] You understand jar jar can help himself. He's regarded
[00:54:09] Ayatollah called trump mentally restart. Yeah, that's a pretty hilarious burn. No, he had well
[00:54:14] He had there's a I told I remember that he's deleted. They deleted it but fucking I told his cumane wrote fucking
[00:54:23] Because someone in like he was criticizing free speech where he says
[00:54:29] Uh in around we don't have such retarded ideas like we do at free speech in your country
[00:54:34] And then the comments are filled with american saying you're not allowed to say that incredible
[00:54:39] And it's like this is a perfect world that is
[00:54:41] That is beautiful people privilege. Yeah, right. They complain against the fucking, you know, the Ayatollah
[00:54:48] I think we don't have free speech because it's dumb as shit. Yeah, you're saying you're not allowed to say that
[00:54:55] Anyway, I'm gonna go fucking hunt homosexuals
[00:55:00] How about the guy atola, you know, and he's good guys only guys only a guy atola whole mani
[00:55:11] Yo, you got the guy balla whole mania if there's if there's a there's a there's a gay
[00:55:19] Do a mea califa and make everyone mad and shit become guy atola whole mani
[00:55:25] And just do gay porn as the ayatollah guy atola whole rape me
[00:55:32] Oh here we go again. Adam's making rape jokes
[00:55:35] Jesus, how does that stop throwing your voice? Yeah
[00:55:41] Stop throwing your voice to normal masculine levels
[00:55:44] From your from your little bug castle where you have a megaphone set up
[00:55:50] A series of little megaphones slightly getting bigger in a bug synagogue castle
[00:55:57] From your your balcony. You have a big horn setup that you speak through
[00:56:01] Um is this seamless? I would like to place an order
[00:56:09] Here you are. Oh fuck man. So I did some how he's home improvement the hole in the ceiling
[00:56:13] What happened to that hole the hole in the ceiling has been we put a little fucking drywall over it
[00:56:20] You know real fucking bullshit job that's gonna probably
[00:56:23] There's gonna be another flood soon, but it looks okay for now. I understand structurally what the hole was
[00:56:31] Um it was a whole the sighting of the house came out. No, no the ceiling from the roof from the roof from the roof
[00:56:38] There was a leak that you have to put more flashing up there or retard the roof or that's what i'm thinking
[00:56:44] No, my dad just fucking put a little drywall up there. Yeah, it's like tackled over the drywall
[00:56:48] It's just gonna soak through and fall out. Listen. No one is arguing with you, but that's that's that's that's that's that's it
[00:56:55] That's a manual. How would with drywall to use? I don't fucking know dude
[00:56:59] I know you were you know, you could have come but you have it Los Angeles. It has to be five eights
[00:57:04] Can't use anything less than five eights for ceilings. Yeah, I'm sure it was five eighths then
[00:57:09] I don't know it looked pretty standard. It was fucking annoying. My dad smelled bad. He didn't finish the job. Were you wearing was it?
[00:57:16] Huh? Were you wearing uh steel to boost?
[00:57:18] Everyone's wearing steel to boots. That's what I like to hear. We cleaned out some other shit. We found some mice skeletons around
[00:57:25] I don't know what the fuck's going on. They were a family to move to America with you guys in from Greece.
[00:57:34] We found some old lacrosse gloves from my leg. Stop's stuff actually sucks up rodents and mice and then throws up their bones
[00:57:39] That's how he eats. In like pellets. Yeah, he's starting his life over dudes. You remember?
[00:57:43] He's been sucking up eating nothing but fucking rodents. Dude. I'm on that new paleo shit
[00:57:48] What if I started my life over but I became one of those snake guys
[00:57:52] That would be a cool way to do it. But we enter snake guy. You don't see that. I just kill the snake
[00:57:56] I would not be surprised because you had a snake. I could buy a new a new boa constrictor every month and fucking take it out in the blizzard
[00:58:08] Uh-huh man peter would love that right do that the guy that just keeps killing snakes so you can look cool in the winter
[00:58:14] You try wearing mrs. Scarf. Yeah, that's not bad
[00:58:20] Fuck dude. So I watched you man's wedding. We didn't talk about that. Yeah, we got a 1.7 mil for wedding
[00:58:27] He could have cake with a sword. You know, that's really not a lot of money
[00:58:35] 1.7 is a lot for a wedding for a celebrity wedding. Yeah, you don't think that's a lot of money
[00:58:42] Well, you know, they're an idiot. Yes, you know, they're that imbecile their wedding costs
[00:58:52] I heard they cut it on the breakage club. Did they cut a sword with the cake? Yeah, they cut a sword with the cake
[00:58:58] Shut up, dude. How about you shut up rethink your words and speak once you're
[00:59:04] Fucking retarded. No, I don't want to process. How about that? What's going on inside it? I need a cracker
[00:59:09] I can feel my blood sugar getting fucked up. Yeah, Nick. You're not eating till 2 p.m
[00:59:13] I eat from two to ten. Oh, is that the thing you think you're doing?
[00:59:16] Lean gains, bitch. It's not the new thing. I've been doing it for months. You don't eat. Oh, I didn't realize that
[00:59:23] In new I F's when I carb cycle and I get a recalculate
[00:59:27] Last time I'm gonna test you and put it in your ass. Mm-hmm. No, no, it's not my ass is actually
[00:59:31] So stop we're shit anymore. We're trying to be we're trying to get pregnant
[00:59:35] If you can set a child I love when the men include themselves. Yeah. Yeah, we're pregnant. Yeah, please shut up, dude
[00:59:44] You know pregnant man. He's sharing the pain of his partner. Yeah people that say things are fucking stupid
[00:59:48] You're sharing this partner in his partner, dude
[00:59:50] If you say things that other people say because you heard it somewhere you're a fucking moron
[01:00:02] You got to come up with your own damn way to fucking say every sentence
[01:00:09] You know fucking turns a phrase or whatever you're you're you're copying you're a dip dipmonger
[01:00:20] I love people say ask clown. Yeah, that's like a little homophobic
[01:00:25] connotation. I guess the ones people are real big on like piss, baby. No one that one
[01:00:31] Anybody who says piss, baby thinks they're really fucking cool. They're a total fucking loser garbage person. Yeah, gar that is out of control
[01:00:40] Yeah, calling people garbage things or calling me garbage things. No call Adam. Whatever you want
[01:00:45] Yeah, Adam lives at the bottom of the garbage can with the other bugs
[01:00:49] It's journey to the top hoping for a big piece of cardboard so you can get to the canopy
[01:00:55] We might be able to get enough of so I'm just imagining the plot to land before time
[01:01:03] Would happen in land before time. They have to race the
[01:01:06] It's like baby dinosaurs. Yeah that their parents are gone or something. They're gonna try to find
[01:01:12] Do those do those movies ever deal with extinction? Yeah, does everyone die at the end? That'd be cool. That'd be fucking tight
[01:01:20] If thumper dies is there is there a dinosaur thumper thumper was uh, yeah, I know bambi's bambi rabbit
[01:01:26] There's got to be one that's basically thumper bambi was depressing bambi's yeah, the mom gets gone right off top fucking
[01:01:33] Mirt and bambi's a guy's name headshot. That's pretty sus bambi
[01:01:37] Oh, yeah, man named a bambina. Oh, what if he's Italian? It's bambino was dumbbo a guy or a girl dumboes guy
[01:01:48] No, this actually was the truth up until like 1950 women weren't allowed to wear hats. Oh, absolutely not
[01:01:55] Absolutely not and boys were allowed to wear pants. Yeah, not in Adam's household. No, they stayed nude
[01:02:02] It comes no they were they had a way short where are my boys were my pantsless boys that I requested
[01:02:09] Adam you look good. They don't stay on the pedestal fuck for all guys
[01:02:14] I was gonna mention that I we're talking about swords snake guys. I hate it when this fucking happens
[01:02:19] Uh, knees. Yeah, probably no something about eating. Yeah, it was niger. What happened in niger? There was no no
[01:02:26] ISIS attack. I think there was some kind of like
[01:02:28] Uh the Benghazi that happened in there. It's the new Benghazi
[01:02:33] It's pretty crazy that dalantrump said he would like stop ISIS and then he did
[01:02:38] He did it. I mean, I says he's gone. What are you talking about? Don ISIS is gone. They're done
[01:02:43] What do you mean? I haven't you paid attention? Isis is like literally done. They don't exist anymore
[01:02:49] No, they because dalantrump said he said give me eight months. I'll take your Isis damn really yep, and they're gone
[01:02:53] Good for anybody that knows anything knows that Isis is good for well, you know what maybe maybe
[01:03:00] We were wrong about him. Yeah, maybe he's a good guy. Maybe he is
[01:03:04] Uh, well, that's probably gonna have to do it for the episode
[01:03:07] Um, oh we got um the show tomorrow. Yeah, I was just tomorrow night and nine and come on everybody
[01:03:15] Mm-hmm. I can't remember what the fuck I wanted the fucking goddamn. I hate when this fucking shit happens
[01:03:20] What was it about? I can't remember dude and it's because I need a cracker or something or a fucking pretzel
[01:03:26] There's this diabetic kid that would come to the pool and he always said to have a fucking bag of pretzels and I'm because you know
[01:03:31] You're diabetes. I remember being like man. I wish I had diabetes
[01:03:38] I wish I had fucking I remember how diabetes and there was a machine stabbed into my stomach
[01:03:44] I remember when I heard ice cream you get your ice your tonsils taking out you get the ice
[01:03:49] I was like yo take my fucking tonsils out. I was like my tonsils hurt mom. I had no idea what they were
[01:03:55] I was trying to get I just wanted that month of waiting ice cream dude. Yeah. Yeah, that rules what are tonsils?
[01:04:01] They're like the they're like sort of like balls. They're like nuts. They make your make demands penis feel good when it's in your mouth at him
[01:04:08] No, I don't have tonsils like I might tosses removed by the guy
[01:04:13] So I get deep. They got a touch of the guy's Prince Albert here. I got a little kid
[01:04:23] How where'd that come from? We talked about this before who was Prince Albert? He was some good
[01:04:28] He was a wrestler. It's like I'm gonna get my cock. Remember Albert the wrestler
[01:04:32] And his whole thing was I think that he had a cock piercing
[01:04:39] Tessa what's his name? Not Zach Afron the guy amika. He has a Prince Albert. He has yeah. He is a dick piercer
[01:04:46] He's a strangely fucked up dick. Yeah, because he puts it in mouse traps and shit
[01:04:50] Like the top of his dick looks like you know when like a pork chop starts to go bad
[01:04:57] It's like gray. Yeah, he like he does that it shows
[01:05:00] So like fucking he ends the roast battle by like getting his dick snap shut in a fucking rat trap
[01:05:05] Why I don't know the response from the audience is always oh yeah, it's never like
[01:05:12] Nobody like thinks it's funny. I don't know that's something like literally should only happen in the privacy of your own
[01:05:20] There's no fucking reason to do that absolutely no, you know
[01:05:26] So you're gonna think of that thing or no you think no I don't think so oh also fuck Facebook they banned marsha bell ski
[01:05:32] Oh, yeah, that is such fucking horse shit. She said men are scum
[01:05:36] Said men are post where a woman posted men threatening to kill and rape her
[01:05:41] Yeah, and she wrote men are scum and they banned marsha for
[01:05:45] Responding to fucking rape and death rest
[01:05:50] The reason that happens is because there's people that fucking hate marsha that report
[01:05:54] I guarantee you report absolutely everything she fucking does and then all of these dickless companies have to like
[01:05:59] Balance they can start threshold. They pretend they pretend like they
[01:06:04] You yeah, you just use my nose cuz she's stronger than you and she beat you up. She could be
[01:06:13] What do you mean you ate her? She's just talking about you know sex of shit all the time. So just fucking yeah
[01:06:19] Cuz she does about sexism not cuz she does the kill all men thing or whatever
[01:06:23] So it's like they can't take a fucking joke. It's the inverse of people who hate us. I guess yeah, you know, right
[01:06:29] Which is not outright like you know men's rights guys but people that are like well
[01:06:34] Broccoli they're allowed to say that but I can't say kill all women and it's like you can you're just gonna get banned from facebook
[01:06:39] That's like because spiteful people will fucking report you. Yeah, but it's though
[01:06:44] I mean the problem is facebook and twitter and all that will you though will you get banned as much probably not uh kill all women
[01:06:49] Of course you'll get banned you'll get banned if people don't like you and they repeat all right exactly
[01:06:56] We'll draw the kind of same ire that well
[01:06:58] I mean probably now would it just depends on who you are
[01:07:00] But the point is is that again these companies like just they're only concerned with fucking playing both sides right making themselves seem fair
[01:07:09] So they arbitrarily just ban people for points right right right, you know, so fuck them. Yeah fuck Facebook
[01:07:15] fucking pricks they also if someone's having a nervous breakdown on the internet about us guys you don't have to
[01:07:24] You don't have to make fun of them. Yeah, but adam does have to draw attention to it
[01:07:28] You know exactly what we're talking about so good job acknowledging it on the show dude
[01:07:33] To direct people to harass her you're doing it right now. I'm not directing anything
[01:07:38] I'm saying don't I know you have a bunch of fake accounts on twitter
[01:07:41] When you threaten to rape these women that criticize us. I know you do it
[01:07:52] All right, so yeah come to this fucking show come to the show thread and adam
[01:07:56] Yes, please shows tomorrow come on everybody
[01:08:00] We got fucking scotchaplet. We got kevin barnette. We got julia claire probably somebody else
[01:08:15] You know scot. Yeah, he knows all of them you fucking done
[01:08:20] So that's that's that boys and guy. Yeah, good one tomorrow night. I hope to see you guys there. Yep. Thanks everybody. Bye