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Bonus 62 - ive calmed down

Cum Town | Premium | 11/26/2017

[00:00:00] one for me.
[00:00:01] Speaker steal. Yeah. Yeah. Because those are awesome. I just tried to take a shit and
[00:00:04] buy that.
[00:00:05] They're so sick.
[00:00:07] Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup,
[00:00:11] penis pussy.
[00:00:12] Is that your porcupig? Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, penis pussy.
[00:00:17] Word of the finalizing.
[00:00:18] I'm gay, folks.
[00:00:20] I'm gay, folks.
[00:00:22] What do you, what do you the woodpecker?
[00:00:24] Finalizing.
[00:00:25] I'm gay. I'm gay.
[00:00:31] I'm gay.
[00:00:33] If you took my advice and you invested in Ripple.
[00:00:37] Oh, is this, are we on?
[00:00:39] Yeah, of course.
[00:00:40] Oh, nice.
[00:00:41] Oh, relax.
[00:00:42] Ripple is back up now.
[00:00:43] Isn't it?
[00:00:44] Didn't, didn't, didn't, and the growth has been pretty steady over the last couple
[00:00:47] weeks.
[00:00:48] I thought you said, this isn't like a, you know, one of these like volatile jumps that
[00:00:53] it's had in the past.
[00:00:56] It's taken off, guys.
[00:00:57] It's really, it's going to hit 40 cents again.
[00:00:59] And anybody that got in around 12 is going to be fucking sitting pretty.
[00:01:03] A millionaire?
[00:01:04] Yeah, thanks to my advice.
[00:01:06] Isn't Bitcoin up to also?
[00:01:09] You know what?
[00:01:10] Actually, yes, because the Bitcoin to Ripple price has gone down, whereas Ripple to USD
[00:01:17] has gone up.
[00:01:18] Now people only use that to buy heroin and have sex with children, right?
[00:01:23] That's right.
[00:01:24] That's why it's, that's why it's the best currency.
[00:01:25] And assassins.
[00:01:26] Yeah.
[00:01:27] Yeah.
[00:01:28] Beautiful.
[00:01:29] Is that what Hollywood was using or did they just get it for the low?
[00:01:31] No, for the low.
[00:01:32] For the low.
[00:01:33] I thought you said Ethereum.
[00:01:34] Didn't you recommend Ethereum?
[00:01:36] Nope.
[00:01:37] Nope.
[00:01:38] Nope.
[00:01:39] Okay.
[00:01:40] Now this bought money and all this book cryptocurrency.
[00:01:41] I know exactly what I recommended.
[00:01:42] The new Pokemon.
[00:01:43] Hell yeah.
[00:01:44] Now the new Pokemon is Uber drivers names in New York.
[00:01:48] That's my version.
[00:01:49] You got to collect them all.
[00:01:50] You got to collect every stupid name you can.
[00:01:53] Boo car.
[00:01:54] What did you have that one time?
[00:01:55] I've had multiple Abu Bukhars numerous people named.
[00:01:59] You got to cash them all.
[00:02:02] They love having what a country is that?
[00:02:05] Yeah.
[00:02:06] You know, that's like Senegal.
[00:02:07] No, it's like, it's like Muslim Africa.
[00:02:11] Really?
[00:02:12] That's what that's the best names you get after I think.
[00:02:14] African plus Muslim.
[00:02:15] Yeah.
[00:02:16] Yeah.
[00:02:17] That's a fun combo.
[00:02:18] Coconut Ali.
[00:02:19] That's a good, that's a good boxer's name, dude.
[00:02:23] Coconut Ali.
[00:02:24] That's one of the fight.
[00:02:25] That's one of the guys from Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
[00:02:27] Coconut Ali.
[00:02:28] Yeah.
[00:02:29] He throws out.
[00:02:30] Nigeria has the best names.
[00:02:32] Yeah.
[00:02:33] You know, we've talked.
[00:02:34] Yeah.
[00:02:35] Good luck.
[00:02:36] Jonathan.
[00:02:37] Yeah, sure.
[00:02:38] Bad luck, Jonathan.
[00:02:39] That's his warrior.
[00:02:40] It's bad like Jonathan.
[00:02:41] Yeah.
[00:02:42] I'm hard dick, Jonathan.
[00:02:43] Oh, we think of that.
[00:02:44] It's good.
[00:02:45] It's really good.
[00:02:47] Boys, come on fucking Thanksgiving.
[00:02:49] So good to see.
[00:02:50] So good to see you.
[00:02:51] We've been away from each other for quite some time.
[00:02:52] It feels like forever.
[00:02:53] Yeah.
[00:02:54] Because we spent it with our families, our gay ass families.
[00:02:57] I spent the week doing spots.
[00:02:59] Your spot boy, I love it.
[00:03:00] Spot city, baby.
[00:03:01] And taking naps from your manic episode of Child Sex.
[00:03:05] Yeah, I'm back to not giving a shit.
[00:03:08] We're glad to have you back, buddy.
[00:03:10] Thanks for joining me on my journey into the truth.
[00:03:14] That was wild, man.
[00:03:17] You really love that shit.
[00:03:18] It was great for the show.
[00:03:19] Not necessarily for Nick.
[00:03:20] It wasn't though.
[00:03:21] I mean, I got multiple messages from people that are like, okay, yeah, it was fine.
[00:03:25] No, fuck them.
[00:03:26] That was funny.
[00:03:27] No, no, people loved it.
[00:03:29] I loved it.
[00:03:30] Fuck people.
[00:03:31] People can suck my heart.
[00:03:32] I loved it too.
[00:03:33] Suck my heart penis as far as I'm concerned.
[00:03:34] You didn't love it.
[00:03:36] It's a pedophile who's a fan of the show.
[00:03:38] Oh, yeah.
[00:03:39] He didn't like it.
[00:03:40] Pressed it.
[00:03:41] Go into his culture like that.
[00:03:42] Go harder in his culture.
[00:03:45] Guess what next week is?
[00:03:46] Trans people and then video editors.
[00:03:48] Oh shit.
[00:03:49] No, we're done.
[00:03:50] Shit.
[00:03:51] Yeah, those people are canceled.
[00:03:52] The secret video editors in Hollywood.
[00:03:55] Uh oh.
[00:03:56] The undercard.
[00:03:57] All these people are editing videos.
[00:03:59] I bet you thought they just turned the cameras on and did the movies exactly one take all
[00:04:03] the time.
[00:04:04] Yeah, nope.
[00:04:05] People are cutting it together.
[00:04:06] It's a lie.
[00:04:07] It's fucked up.
[00:04:08] A big lie.
[00:04:09] I thought it was a play just with a camera.
[00:04:10] We should talk about this for a second.
[00:04:12] I don't know any of the details.
[00:04:13] Someone just mentioned it to me and it's I think it's fucked up.
[00:04:16] Let's hear it.
[00:04:17] Maddox.
[00:04:18] Okay.
[00:04:19] I'm the best page in the universe.
[00:04:21] I haven't paid attention to since probably 2000.
[00:04:23] Yeah, since I was 12 I would say.
[00:04:26] Yeah.
[00:04:27] I was a fan of Maddox on that.
[00:04:28] He was still funny by the time I was like 16, 17.
[00:04:31] Okay.
[00:04:32] But he would publish one article every like seven months.
[00:04:34] Gotcha.
[00:04:35] Because he was at the time I think he was like putting everything into this book that
[00:04:38] he was writing.
[00:04:39] Oh fuck.
[00:04:40] The alphabets of manliness.
[00:04:41] I don't think it flopped but it just wasn't good.
[00:04:44] Right, right, right.
[00:04:45] I mean, especially not compared to his other shit.
[00:04:46] He also had sort of like a media, it was like a web ring that he was like in charge of
[00:04:51] or something that included like guys that weren't as funny like Tucker Maxx.
[00:04:55] Really?
[00:04:56] He was in the mix with Tucker Maxx?
[00:04:57] Oh, that's a tough cosign.
[00:04:59] Well, anyhow, I guess in the last decade in his search for relevancy, which like to
[00:05:07] be fair, Maddox was a huge influence in terms of like how I approached like writing comedy
[00:05:13] online.
[00:05:14] I think definitely influenced a lot of motherfucks.
[00:05:15] He was the only guy doing that shit for the longest time.
[00:05:18] Yeah, and I mean it was very funny.
[00:05:20] Looking back, it is still very funny.
[00:05:22] The fucking that your child sucks a drawing.
[00:05:27] Ding, ding, ding.
[00:05:29] Here comes the shitmobile.
[00:05:30] I mean like it was all very funny stuff.
[00:05:34] But yeah, I guess he had a podcast with this guy Dick Masterson.
[00:05:38] Great name.
[00:05:39] And then they had some kind of falling out and Dick split off into his own show with
[00:05:45] Esterios Cocchinos.
[00:05:46] I don't know if you know him.
[00:05:48] I mean you probably know him from the village.
[00:05:50] Yeah, yeah.
[00:05:51] My dad used to suck off goats together.
[00:05:53] From the olive groves.
[00:05:54] No.
[00:05:55] Wait, that's a real guy.
[00:05:56] Esterios Cocchinos.
[00:05:57] Yeah.
[00:05:58] He's he's that's a Greek as that's a Greek.
[00:05:59] I thought I had the Greek as fucking name and comedy.
[00:06:01] And you know what he's like half Asian to what he looks like an Eskimo.
[00:06:05] Goddamn it.
[00:06:06] Yeah, it's a good look.
[00:06:07] I'm jealous.
[00:06:08] He's gets the game of Greek name and be ethnic.
[00:06:10] Right.
[00:06:11] You just look like an igloo.
[00:06:12] Yeah.
[00:06:13] And you have a real blubber.
[00:06:15] Yeah.
[00:06:16] I look like a sexy as Eskimo.
[00:06:18] All right.
[00:06:19] I wouldn't agree with that.
[00:06:21] I'm trying to get my cock rubbed under an igloo dude.
[00:06:24] Yeah.
[00:06:25] How warm is an igloo?
[00:06:26] Not warm at all.
[00:06:27] I thought they had like they did some kind of engineering.
[00:06:30] They put a fire in there.
[00:06:31] They don't know what the fuck they're doing.
[00:06:33] I thought that you could make it hot.
[00:06:35] No, they're the dumbest.
[00:06:36] It's nicer than outside.
[00:06:37] They're the dumbest race.
[00:06:38] Eskimos.
[00:06:39] Yeah.
[00:06:40] Well, they have they don't have any other words because they use all their words on
[00:06:42] still.
[00:06:43] Yeah.
[00:06:44] You can see how many words they have for black people.
[00:06:46] Just one.
[00:06:47] You think the smell.
[00:06:48] I just want to guess what letter it starts with.
[00:06:52] It's S and I.
[00:06:54] That's a new name for us.
[00:06:59] Oh, no.
[00:07:01] Wow.
[00:07:02] Oh, fuck.
[00:07:03] Damn, dude.
[00:07:04] Yeah.
[00:07:05] I mean, definitely races have gotten to that before us.
[00:07:07] There's no way.
[00:07:08] Of course.
[00:07:09] Yeah.
[00:07:10] Fuck.
[00:07:11] Oh, we're talking about.
[00:07:13] Yes.
[00:07:14] Dick Masterson and the Greek guy.
[00:07:15] They started their own podcast.
[00:07:16] What is it?
[00:07:17] Cocinos?
[00:07:18] Cocinos?
[00:07:19] Cocinos.
[00:07:20] Yeah.
[00:07:21] Okay.
[00:07:22] That means red.
[00:07:23] Is there multiple kokai in us?
[00:07:24] Cocinos.
[00:07:25] I think that means star red.
[00:07:26] Yeah.
[00:07:27] Beautiful.
[00:07:28] No, like a like an inflamed asshole.
[00:07:30] Yes.
[00:07:31] Like a yes.
[00:07:32] That's what he's got.
[00:07:33] Yes.
[00:07:34] That's what he's got.
[00:07:35] But butthole.
[00:07:36] Nice ripe.
[00:07:37] Yes.
[00:07:38] Yes.
[00:07:39] A baboon's ass has gotten fucked ready to be violated.
[00:07:40] Yeah.
[00:07:41] Please don't fuck me.
[00:07:43] Don't fuck my red star.
[00:07:46] That's his ass, basically.
[00:07:47] No.
[00:07:48] Esterios is funny.
[00:07:49] Cool.
[00:07:50] I only I don't.
[00:07:51] Shouts out to another Greek homie.
[00:07:52] Yeah.
[00:07:53] He's a stand up or he's just an L.A. guy.
[00:07:54] I cross pass with him maybe like once or twice.
[00:07:56] Okay.
[00:07:57] But he was I always thought he was funny.
[00:07:59] Let's link up.
[00:08:00] Esterios Greek boys.
[00:08:01] Yeah.
[00:08:02] And his Twitter was always funny.
[00:08:03] And he did this thing a couple of years ago that that got my attention was they have these
[00:08:07] like bullshit seminars in L.A. where you like it's like pay $80 and you get to meet industry
[00:08:14] insiders to like pitch your fucking script to right you know and it's like you know it's
[00:08:19] nobody's right.
[00:08:20] It's just somebody that works at fucking you know like Brillstein in the mail room right
[00:08:24] go to this meet and greet right right right and then he wore like a hidden mic or something
[00:08:29] and like just pitch the shittiest ideas he could think of to people and it was very funny
[00:08:34] I can't remember.
[00:08:35] One of them is like it's called president baby and the baby is president.
[00:08:38] I like that so far.
[00:08:39] Yeah.
[00:08:40] Yeah.
[00:08:41] I mean it's fine because I'm trying to get cast and president.
[00:08:42] Yeah.
[00:08:43] Yeah.
[00:08:44] That's the fuck I was going to play the baby.
[00:08:45] That's the perfect star vehicle for you.
[00:08:46] Come on.
[00:08:47] How about the current president?
[00:08:48] Uh oh.
[00:08:49] Cheetah face and put it.
[00:08:52] Take that Trump.
[00:08:53] Yeah.
[00:08:54] Trump.
[00:08:55] I'm sorry.
[00:08:56] 45 every time.
[00:08:57] Don't say don't honor him by saying his name.
[00:08:59] Okay.
[00:09:00] I say TR star MP.
[00:09:01] Yeah.
[00:09:02] Take out the vowels because that way you can't name search.
[00:09:04] Yeah.
[00:09:05] That way he'll never find a soul.
[00:09:06] That way we're going to turn his name into the N word.
[00:09:09] It's like one step away from that.
[00:09:11] Like let's just call him.
[00:09:12] That's going to be the world guys.
[00:09:15] We're going to call him.
[00:09:17] We take back the power of the N word.
[00:09:19] Ryan.
[00:09:20] Well, Voldemort.
[00:09:22] They call him Voldemort and that was sort of like the N word of Harry Potter.
[00:09:25] Yeah.
[00:09:26] Uh, anyhow.
[00:09:27] Yes.
[00:09:28] So, a stereo syndic master didn't have their own show or whatever that split off from Maddox's
[00:09:32] show and then they've got on Patreon and now they're like, you know, they're up where
[00:09:37] we are.
[00:09:38] You know, they're making like the mid mid 20s.
[00:09:40] Salute brothers.
[00:09:41] Yeah.
[00:09:42] Midtown warriors.
[00:09:43] Yeah.
[00:09:44] They're in the mid 20s and then I guess Maddox started his own podcast of the Patreon and
[00:09:48] like Maddox just like alienated all of his fans by being like a dick to his co-host being
[00:09:52] kind of spiteful piece of shit, I guess.
[00:09:55] And so nobody.
[00:09:56] It's been nice.
[00:09:57] Yeah.
[00:09:58] Nobody listens to his show.
[00:09:59] Damn.
[00:10:00] Well, he was thinking, I don't need to be nice to you, Adam, but if you had like, like,
[00:10:04] I'm not going to fucking try and fuck up the, you know, your stupid podcast you guys do
[00:10:09] together.
[00:10:10] Which one the basketball?
[00:10:11] Yeah.
[00:10:12] I would never, I would never like, I mean, he was doing a good podcast.
[00:10:15] Well, I wouldn't.
[00:10:16] I mean, I would never do that.
[00:10:17] And then like, but apparently, like, you know, Maddox was like trying to get them fired from
[00:10:20] their day job.
[00:10:21] What?
[00:10:22] Yeah.
[00:10:23] Yeah.
[00:10:24] Yeah.
[00:10:25] Yeah.
[00:10:26] The guys he was do collaborating with.
[00:10:27] No.
[00:10:28] And this was after they stopped.
[00:10:29] After the breakup.
[00:10:30] What?
[00:10:30] Yeah.
[00:10:31] And then the guys moved.
[00:10:32] Yeah.
[00:10:33] Exactly.
[00:10:34] Well, now he's suing them and then named in the lawsuit is Patreon is a co-defendant.
[00:10:38] What?
[00:10:39] Yeah.
[00:10:40] And then the customer service, because he was Maddox fucks our money up.
[00:10:42] I'm going to fuck him up.
[00:10:43] He tried, he tried to.
[00:10:44] Oh yeah.
[00:10:45] That's, first of all, I would not go to court.
[00:10:46] I would go to his house and baseball bat style.
[00:10:48] Exactly.
[00:10:49] That's a legal threat of violence.
[00:10:53] I don't know.
[00:10:54] I'm to deal with a lawsuit.
[00:10:55] Fuck no, dude.
[00:10:56] No, I got a cake.
[00:10:57] Yeah.
[00:10:58] I got to cake up.
[00:10:59] I got to stack my racks.
[00:11:00] I got to get to my mother dishwashers, which shouts out to everyone who came out the sidebar.
[00:11:04] I bought my mother a beautiful whirlpool.
[00:11:06] Thank you so much.
[00:11:07] Beautiful.
[00:11:08] Beautiful.
[00:11:09] Yeah.
[00:11:10] I got to steal my bitch.
[00:11:11] Ooh.
[00:11:12] Yeah.
[00:11:13] That's a chef's choice.
[00:11:14] He's also suing the customer service agent at Patreon that he dealt with when he tried
[00:11:15] to get their show kicked off Patreon and fuck with their money and suing for $400 million.
[00:11:21] So he's a little dig ass motherfucker.
[00:11:22] Yeah.
[00:11:23] I guess.
[00:11:24] Damn.
[00:11:25] No, but he's like, I looked at the, like, just the lawsuit and the things he's like nagologens
[00:11:29] and fucking defamation.
[00:11:31] Jesus Christ.
[00:11:32] I don't know.
[00:11:33] You know the difference between defamation and defamation per se, right?
[00:11:35] No, I don't.
[00:11:36] Oh.
[00:11:37] Well, someone's a bad fucking terrible lawyer.
[00:11:40] I think defamation per se is where you don't have to even prove damages.
[00:11:43] It's like the thing they said was so damaging to begin with.
[00:11:46] Oh, that makes sense.
[00:11:48] Yeah.
[00:11:49] Like if you call somebody, if you call somebody a pedophile, I think that's defamation per
[00:11:53] se.
[00:11:54] That is a pedophile.
[00:11:55] Yeah.
[00:11:56] Well, I'm suing you for $400 million.
[00:11:58] Well, because you have to prove that we lied and we have, we have so much evidence.
[00:12:01] We have that one hour of recording where you say that you have the most, the people you
[00:12:07] have.
[00:12:08] Yes, the most empathy for.
[00:12:09] You were late to both.
[00:12:10] I never said that.
[00:12:11] I literally never said that.
[00:12:13] That you feel the most sorry for a pedophile.
[00:12:15] I don't.
[00:12:16] Not the people they fought.
[00:12:17] If you had to describe a type of person that you were, you would say it's a pedophile.
[00:12:21] And that one time you were talking about where it was like me at 14 and you were talking
[00:12:24] about how it defeats the purpose because they're all sexy ass pictures.
[00:12:28] I was wondering and Nick was like, you're absolutely right.
[00:12:29] I had to make fun of you about that on the podcast.
[00:12:31] First of all, first of all, you were not absolutely.
[00:12:34] And I stand by that statement.
[00:12:35] No, hold on.
[00:12:36] You're making a fucking pedophile like literal that signal hashtag.
[00:12:40] They're like, okay, we're going to put all these pictures of 14 year old girls up on
[00:12:44] this hashtag.
[00:12:45] I didn't find that.
[00:12:46] And they're like, yeah, pedophiles do not jack off to these pictures because we're, this
[00:12:50] is an anti pedophile.
[00:12:51] Some women were putting up pictures of ourselves that some women do like post-hot pictures.
[00:12:57] Okay, maybe yes, but for the most part, post pictures of themselves for the most part,
[00:13:02] it's like showing that they're children and you wanted to fuck them.
[00:13:05] Yeah.
[00:13:06] Anyway, so anyway, so we have a great hard evidence.
[00:13:08] Adam, Adam, Adam, we have a supreme court.
[00:13:11] We're taking this all the way to the top.
[00:13:13] Adam Jack's off to the Oshkosh.
[00:13:15] That's true.
[00:13:16] I like see you suckers.
[00:13:18] He likes to see himself.
[00:13:19] He's also a baby.
[00:13:20] You remember that guys?
[00:13:21] He likes to Josh.
[00:13:22] He likes to Josh.
[00:13:23] The boy was a bug.
[00:13:24] Josh.
[00:13:25] He's a bug.
[00:13:28] Josh.
[00:13:29] Yeah, there you go.
[00:13:30] It's in there.
[00:13:31] It's in there.
[00:13:32] You got to squeeze that one.
[00:13:33] Josh Kosh, suck off.
[00:13:35] That one is like, it's like a nice big fat orange and the consumers need to squeeze the
[00:13:39] sweet juice out of this stuff.
[00:13:41] Yes, Josh Kosh suck off.
[00:13:43] My fucking jack off my car.
[00:13:44] My fucking dad told my girlfriend I had diarrhea all over a jimberry when I was a kid.
[00:13:49] Nice.
[00:13:50] Like it has a fun story.
[00:13:51] Did you?
[00:13:52] I don't know.
[00:13:53] I don't remember.
[00:13:54] Yeah.
[00:13:55] Anyway, how does this end?
[00:13:56] How does this, uh, man?
[00:13:57] So they're suing?
[00:13:58] Oh yeah.
[00:13:59] No, this just happened.
[00:14:00] Oh damn.
[00:14:01] Like they just got, they got served.
[00:14:02] I guess Esterious is looking for some financial help because he's not on, it's not, he's not
[00:14:04] on the Patreon.
[00:14:05] I think it's just, I don't really pay, I don't know.
[00:14:07] What?
[00:14:08] He's on a show that makes a ton of money.
[00:14:09] I don't know if he's on the show.
[00:14:10] He's just part of this like, Maddox universe.
[00:14:12] Yeah.
[00:14:13] But I, that was just so disappointing to find that out about Maddox.
[00:14:17] He's a bitch.
[00:14:18] Yeah.
[00:14:19] Yeah.
[00:14:20] Yeah.
[00:14:21] Cause like you said, he was, you know, an influence on a lot of money.
[00:14:23] Maddox and SJW now.
[00:14:24] Yeah.
[00:14:25] Sure.
[00:14:26] I think he is.
[00:14:27] He's like, oh, he's got every, whoever was the worst 10 years ago is now like the most
[00:14:32] woke.
[00:14:33] Yeah.
[00:14:34] I thought he said like, Oh, I was totally wrong.
[00:14:35] I was nasty.
[00:14:36] I know so many guys that were like, well, you know, 12 years ago is in a hardcore band
[00:14:39] called rape the vagina.
[00:14:40] Now, the lead voice of male feminism on Facebook.
[00:14:45] Oh, fuck.
[00:14:46] I had to take my hoodie off.
[00:14:49] I got toasty.
[00:14:50] Damn.
[00:14:51] You look like you got much fad.
[00:14:52] Yeah.
[00:14:53] This weekend was horrific.
[00:14:54] I mean, you really do look like you gained like 20s.
[00:14:56] Yeah, dude, I probably, I'm not kidding.
[00:14:58] I probably gained 10 pounds this weekend.
[00:15:00] No, like 20 pounds.
[00:15:01] You looked, no, I'll slim down again.
[00:15:03] That's how I flunked away that much.
[00:15:06] You were never slimmed that you were never slim.
[00:15:08] You know what I'm saying.
[00:15:09] I'll get back to where I was.
[00:15:10] I don't, I literally don't know what you're saying.
[00:15:11] What I'm saying is motherfucker, I probably weigh like 270 right now.
[00:15:13] I'll get around 250 again.
[00:15:15] Pretty soon.
[00:15:16] My, my bobs said at Thanksgiving at the table.
[00:15:17] She said, Addie, I think stuff is your friend would look nice if not, he'd let you know.
[00:15:22] He'd look a lot better if he lost a little bit of weight.
[00:15:24] What the fuck, bitch?
[00:15:26] Fuck your mom.
[00:15:27] Just taking shots of me.
[00:15:28] I'm not even there.
[00:15:29] She wasn't.
[00:15:30] She was trying to say like, baby, like I've never thought about it, Adam's mom.
[00:15:34] Like the fucking South African bitch.
[00:15:36] My mom, my mom has referred to you as the fat one.
[00:15:44] Well, fuck you guys.
[00:15:45] My mom, my mom's made you guys cookies, but maybe you were very nice.
[00:15:48] Oh, Christmas is coming up.
[00:15:49] I'm expecting.
[00:15:50] There was more.
[00:15:51] Let's have, let's have Christmas at the Velalchius household.
[00:15:54] You can come.
[00:15:55] You guys are invited.
[00:15:56] Oh, by the way, we can't drop the ball on it or you can't drop the ball on it.
[00:15:59] You promised everyone.
[00:16:00] I'll do it if someone does all the work for me.
[00:16:02] I'll sign the, I'll do this.
[00:16:03] I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm kind of a paperwork head.
[00:16:06] I don't mind doing, do the paperwork and I'll, I'll change my name to Stavvers Velalchius
[00:16:09] in a fucking heartbeat.
[00:16:10] Yeah.
[00:16:11] It's so, I'll disrespect my, my mental name is my father's name.
[00:16:14] It's gonna be great when we do this shit and then you're like furious at all the, all
[00:16:18] the fucking hiccups it causes in your life or your fucking bank accounts locked.
[00:16:21] Yeah.
[00:16:22] You're like God fucking damn it.
[00:16:24] Throw a temper tantrums.
[00:16:25] My name is Velalchius.
[00:16:26] Car gets impounded.
[00:16:27] Yeah, I would.
[00:16:28] Let me say something.
[00:16:30] If my car gets impounded because I changed my name.
[00:16:32] You can't get on a flight because they're like, okay, but it's Stavvers Velalchius here
[00:16:37] and your, your name is, there's no Vel.
[00:16:39] So we can't let you on the plane.
[00:16:41] I think, I don't think they're really that sticklers.
[00:16:43] Oh, they are.
[00:16:44] They fucking are.
[00:16:45] Really middle names?
[00:16:46] No, not, your, your middle name wouldn't be Vel.
[00:16:49] Your last name would be changed to Velalchius.
[00:16:51] No, no, no, my middle name is Vel.
[00:16:53] No, I think it was technically your last name.
[00:16:55] I'm not changed my fucking last name to Velalchius, but my middle name is Stavvers Velalchius.
[00:16:58] What is Stavvers senior ever done for you, dude?
[00:17:02] Huh?
[00:17:03] What is your father?
[00:17:04] You, you got a, you got a, I'm not changing my last name to Velalchius.
[00:17:07] I'm changing my middle name to Velal.
[00:17:09] That's what we said the whole time.
[00:17:11] I don't know.
[00:17:12] I don't know.
[00:17:13] How about this?
[00:17:14] What are the fans accepted if instead of doing, instead of changing your name, you get
[00:17:20] that tattoo of Louis J. Gomez's face that he posted.
[00:17:23] I'm not doing that either.
[00:17:24] You have to go to Connecticut to get a tattoo.
[00:17:26] What I'm doing is changing my middle name to Velal from Emmanuel as a sign of respect
[00:17:31] to the fans and a sign of disrespect to my father.
[00:17:33] I hope somebody gets that Louis tattoo and it comes up in like, you know, a divorce,
[00:17:37] a court documents that that's cited as a reason somebody shouldn't be able to keep their
[00:17:42] kids.
[00:17:43] 100% it should be.
[00:17:44] Yeah.
[00:17:45] You, if you have a tattoo of Louis's face, you should be allowed to raise a charge.
[00:17:47] You're playing like real last dude clips in the courtroom.
[00:17:49] Yeah.
[00:17:50] Yeah.
[00:17:51] It's just a word.
[00:17:52] He doesn't say, dude, I'm fucking Puerto Rico.
[00:17:55] He doesn't even make that argument.
[00:17:57] He just says it.
[00:17:58] He just says it.
[00:17:59] Yeah.
[00:18:00] And then if you say you can't say that, I'll go, I'll fight you.
[00:18:03] Yeah.
[00:18:04] The Lewis School of Debate is awesome.
[00:18:06] Yeah.
[00:18:07] Wasn't Lewis like a fuck.
[00:18:09] We got to have Lewis on the plane saying they should give Charlie Rose's show to him.
[00:18:13] I agree.
[00:18:14] Yeah.
[00:18:15] Fucking Charlie Rose pulling his dick out and shit.
[00:18:17] What was he doing?
[00:18:18] He was like, he was like getting like young, like college interns to come have dinner at
[00:18:22] his house.
[00:18:23] They'd be like, I have to retire upstairs.
[00:18:25] I will be right back.
[00:18:27] I've caught the vapors.
[00:18:28] I do believe I'm going to open my robe.
[00:18:31] Yeah.
[00:18:32] You come down in a robe and then you open it.
[00:18:34] Jesus Christ.
[00:18:35] Exprised.
[00:18:36] But I have you ever been skinned to dip.
[00:18:38] Jeez.
[00:18:39] Yeah.
[00:18:40] It's rough.
[00:18:41] Damn.
[00:18:42] You know what?
[00:18:43] And he's not a comic.
[00:18:44] So we don't have to defend him.
[00:18:45] That's right.
[00:18:46] Fuck him.
[00:18:47] And he was like, oh yeah, that's right.
[00:18:49] It's right.
[00:18:50] It's a drag.
[00:18:51] When you found out Kurt Metzko was a rapist.
[00:18:53] Really?
[00:18:54] Oh yeah.
[00:18:55] Yeah.
[00:18:56] Oh, fuck that guy.
[00:18:57] He's a victim on Charlie Rose.
[00:18:58] Yeah.
[00:18:59] That sucks, dude.
[00:19:00] She was like, Kurt was my friend, but he raped and murdered every child in New York.
[00:19:08] He killed them.
[00:19:09] Oh, fuck.
[00:19:11] Damn.
[00:19:12] Well, that sucks for Maddox.
[00:19:14] What did you boys do for Thanksgiving?
[00:19:15] It sucks for Maddox.
[00:19:16] For stereo, or whatever.
[00:19:18] I mean, we stopped talking about that.
[00:19:21] Like 15 days.
[00:19:22] I went to LA and then to Vegas.
[00:19:26] Oh, dude.
[00:19:27] I was walking on the street with Jamel and Brandon Wardell and some dude crashed his
[00:19:32] bike right in front of us.
[00:19:33] And we were like, oh shit, are you okay?
[00:19:35] And then he looked up at us and we're like, oh, it's Steve.
[00:19:38] Really?
[00:19:39] Yeah.
[00:19:40] And then he got up and his penis was like, he was wearing like a tight like spandex bike
[00:19:45] thing and his penis was hanging out.
[00:19:47] I were like, oh, hilarious, Steve.
[00:19:49] And then there was a camera crew behind us and they're like, yeah, we got it.
[00:19:53] We think we got the show.
[00:19:54] Oh, really?
[00:19:55] So he was just and he's like, yeah, man.
[00:19:57] People.
[00:19:58] Yeah, he's like, he's like too sober, dude.
[00:20:00] He's like 40 now.
[00:20:02] He's like just trying to do pranks and we're like, oh, is this for like a show?
[00:20:05] He's like, yeah, I'm trying to sell it.
[00:20:06] I'm shopping around around.
[00:20:07] Oh, no.
[00:20:08] This is called Dick bike accident.
[00:20:09] Like, oh shit, dude.
[00:20:11] That's what I mean.
[00:20:12] Steve would does do good work.
[00:20:13] Did you suck his dick?
[00:20:15] We didn't suck his dick.
[00:20:16] You did.
[00:20:17] Not we.
[00:20:18] Did you suck his dick?
[00:20:19] No, we went to undefeated after that.
[00:20:22] But yeah, no, it was Adam's undefeated in sucking dicks.
[00:20:24] Yep.
[00:20:25] What do you mean undefeated?
[00:20:26] 9 million and oh, you suck every day.
[00:20:29] Every day you've come into contact with you.
[00:20:32] How many was it?
[00:20:33] Three.
[00:20:34] No, only women are what?
[00:20:35] 50, 51 percent of the body.
[00:20:37] So it's like three and a half billion.
[00:20:38] Shut the fuck up.
[00:20:39] All right.
[00:20:40] I just did fast math.
[00:20:41] It's not three and a half billion because that would just be 50 percent.
[00:20:44] Yeah, but it's a little bit less than seven billion, right?
[00:20:47] It would be a little bit less than three point five billion.
[00:20:50] So what's you're going to say?
[00:20:51] Three point four seven billion.
[00:20:53] Okay.
[00:20:54] And oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:20:56] You've sucked every dick in the world.
[00:20:57] Even baby.
[00:20:58] Every baby that's born, you suck it off.
[00:21:00] Oh, us.
[00:21:01] Yeah, that's where you start.
[00:21:02] You were a lockingly suck off seven year old and up.
[00:21:05] Yeah.
[00:21:06] We do the math on the...
[00:21:07] You go to a brunch for you is going and sucking off an entire buffet line of babies.
[00:21:11] Yeah, you call a nursery the NICU unit.
[00:21:14] You call that the buffet, dude, the NICU unit.
[00:21:16] What's that?
[00:21:17] It's like if you're really the super intensive care for black people.
[00:21:22] No, no, it's the most baby babies that exist.
[00:21:25] Is that what the end I see here?
[00:21:32] For snow, those and now.
[00:21:35] Hey, look, I didn't name it.
[00:21:38] I didn't name the place.
[00:21:40] You want to get mad about racism?
[00:21:42] Why don't you march down to the hospital and tell them what you think that stands for?
[00:21:47] Yeah.
[00:21:48] But yeah, no, that's like a super premature baby.
[00:21:51] So it's like the most baby you can get.
[00:21:54] That's what Adam loves to suck off the most.
[00:21:55] Threshist.
[00:21:56] Yes.
[00:21:57] He likes a nice fucking green banana.
[00:22:00] Yeah.
[00:22:01] Oh, yeah.
[00:22:02] Green baby baby.
[00:22:03] Yes, he does, my friend.
[00:22:04] Like a nice little sour baby.
[00:22:06] Oh, yes.
[00:22:07] That's a little plant.
[00:22:08] It's got a little copper.
[00:22:09] Oh, yes.
[00:22:10] The middle is still like really thick.
[00:22:11] Lots on the platinum.
[00:22:13] I never fuck with plantains.
[00:22:15] I love them.
[00:22:16] I never did.
[00:22:17] Actually, I know.
[00:22:18] I did and then Adam said it.
[00:22:19] So you don't like it anymore?
[00:22:20] Yeah.
[00:22:21] It's not cool to like them anymore.
[00:22:24] Plantain chips are OK sometimes.
[00:22:26] That's a fun little mix.
[00:22:27] Yeah.
[00:22:28] Yeah.
[00:22:29] But I've never had a plantain in any other fashion.
[00:22:31] Although I guess my fun go.
[00:22:33] What's my fun go?
[00:22:34] It's like a hat made out of rice and plantain.
[00:22:37] A hat?
[00:22:38] Yeah.
[00:22:39] That's what the binding agent is in my fun go, right?
[00:22:41] Is plantain Adam?
[00:22:42] I don't know.
[00:22:43] Is that like a Cuban dish?
[00:22:45] It's like a Dominican Spanish dish.
[00:22:47] It's like it literally looks like somebody made fucking a bowl of rice and chicken and
[00:22:53] shit mashed together.
[00:22:54] It sounds pretty good in a hat and then emptied it on a I'm into that.
[00:22:58] Where can we get some fun go anywhere?
[00:22:59] They're going to fucking the diner that you refuse to go to this morning.
[00:23:03] I'm sure they have any reviews.
[00:23:04] I said let's try someplace else.
[00:23:06] I like that and I like Bistek and Sabayebo Bistek a steak, right?
[00:23:10] What's in Sabayebo?
[00:23:12] I think it's just steak and onions and black beans.
[00:23:15] Ooh.
[00:23:16] I'm a fuck with that.
[00:23:18] Fuck dude.
[00:23:19] I want steak.
[00:23:21] I think I'm fucked.
[00:23:22] Yes, you put on 73 pounds.
[00:23:24] Thanksgiving really fucked my ass big time.
[00:23:27] That's impressive that you gained so much weight.
[00:23:29] Bro, it was quite a weekend.
[00:23:31] I guess once your body gets fat it's like fuck it.
[00:23:33] Let's do this.
[00:23:34] No, I do 10 pound swings like it's nothing.
[00:23:36] Really?
[00:23:37] Yeah.
[00:23:38] What's funny is that it was 20 pounds.
[00:23:41] I don't think it's too.
[00:23:42] You, you yourself said I'm 270.
[00:23:44] I don't know.
[00:23:45] I'm probably around somewhere around there.
[00:23:46] We'll see.
[00:23:47] But I mean I wouldn't just say that to be mean.
[00:23:50] You know?
[00:23:51] Well you would but.
[00:23:52] I would, yeah.
[00:23:53] Of course you would.
[00:23:54] I would but I mean like I literally.
[00:23:55] In this case you happen not to be.
[00:23:57] I am.
[00:23:58] Yes.
[00:23:59] But I also wouldn't do that.
[00:24:00] You would but yes I would.
[00:24:01] I would.
[00:24:02] But you legitimately look like you've gained 20 pounds.
[00:24:04] Yeah, no I know.
[00:24:06] I look bad.
[00:24:07] You know what are you going to do man?
[00:24:09] It's big boy season.
[00:24:10] I'm bulking up for the winter.
[00:24:12] For hibernating.
[00:24:13] I'm hibernating.
[00:24:14] I would love to hibernate.
[00:24:15] That would be so.
[00:24:16] I just I caved and I bought that 140 pound weight vest.
[00:24:19] Oh shit.
[00:24:20] You couldn't do it?
[00:24:21] No.
[00:24:22] What do you think I could.
[00:24:23] I could.
[00:24:24] He caved as in.
[00:24:25] I bought it.
[00:24:26] I wasn't.
[00:24:27] I wasn't.
[00:24:28] How you caved in and bought it.
[00:24:29] Did you get it yet?
[00:24:30] No.
[00:24:31] It ships in three separate packages because it's too heavy.
[00:24:32] It's too heavy.
[00:24:33] Yeah.
[00:24:34] That's how you ship my dick.
[00:24:35] I want to kill the mail man.
[00:24:36] That's how they ship my dick in my balls.
[00:24:37] My right ball my left ball my big ass dick.
[00:24:39] You're the trans dick.
[00:24:40] Yeah.
[00:24:41] I would love to.
[00:24:42] That's what they're worth.
[00:24:43] If they're giving trans people big dicks why can't I get a big dick?
[00:24:44] That's the future is going to be as fucking in the future 20 years now everyone's trans
[00:24:49] and only the richest trans people can have big dicks.
[00:24:52] And then it's going to become this thing where we we were all.
[00:24:55] It's a privilege thing.
[00:24:56] Yeah.
[00:24:57] Yeah.
[00:24:58] Fuck dude.
[00:24:59] Yeah.
[00:25:00] I'd love to.
[00:25:01] That would motivate me to get to be rich.
[00:25:02] I get a big shiny dick.
[00:25:03] Big new shiny dick.
[00:25:05] I feel like though because the FTM's have lived their lives as women you know so they're
[00:25:11] like they're still more modest so I don't think they're going to get huge ass dicks.
[00:25:16] Yeah but that's the ones you have to worry about are the mail to mail trans.
[00:25:19] You know what I mean?
[00:25:21] You know what I mean?
[00:25:22] You decide to become even more men.
[00:25:24] Exactly.
[00:25:25] That's what I was a member of the community.
[00:25:27] I can't.
[00:25:28] I wanted yeah I'm a small dick.
[00:25:30] I'm a big dick guy trapped in a little bit.
[00:25:32] I'm just going to get.
[00:25:33] That's how I feel.
[00:25:34] I'm going to get.
[00:25:35] I'm going to get my one of my feet cut off right I'm going to get my right foot cut off
[00:25:39] and have it sewn on to the side of my hip and then have a dick head placed on where
[00:25:45] my foot was.
[00:25:46] Okay.
[00:25:47] So it's still a leg but now it's dick and my other leg is just a short.
[00:25:52] Oh smart little ass fucked up.
[00:25:55] You could lean sideways you can't lean on that.
[00:26:00] That's good.
[00:26:01] So you would fuck women with your foot leg basically.
[00:26:03] You're a little big ass dick with a knee and shit.
[00:26:07] You got a calf muscle.
[00:26:11] That you flex your cock.
[00:26:14] That's pretty good.
[00:26:15] Would it feel good to get your just your whole your like knee sucked?
[00:26:17] It would feel good doing timid eight people with the gym.
[00:26:20] That's true.
[00:26:21] Like who's that guy squatting with his dick.
[00:26:23] Oh fuck how would that work?
[00:26:25] Yeah.
[00:26:26] How would that work though seriously?
[00:26:27] You have to get special shoes.
[00:26:28] Would you have a heel or would you just have a dick coming out of your ankle?
[00:26:30] You just have a dick coming out of your ankle.
[00:26:32] Dude that's a lot of pressure when you're squatting.
[00:26:34] Yeah well that's what makes it bigger.
[00:26:35] Wouldn't you hurt your cock?
[00:26:36] You'd have sort of a prosthetic foot.
[00:26:39] Not maybe you would.
[00:26:41] That's how hard your cock can get that you could do squats on it.
[00:26:44] Look this is how guys are coming back from Iraq.
[00:26:46] That's true man.
[00:26:47] I should show more spectrum troops I'm sorry.
[00:26:49] No arms no legs five dicks.
[00:26:51] They get sent over to Berlin where they do crazy experimental surgery.
[00:26:56] They take all the dicks from the dead brown people.
[00:26:59] They just collect them.
[00:27:00] Sure.
[00:27:01] I don't know how you get a surplus dick.
[00:27:04] Maybe that's why we did Iraq.
[00:27:05] It wasn't oil.
[00:27:06] It was all the extra dicks for hormones.
[00:27:08] We never collected those.
[00:27:09] Oh fuck Dick Cheney's trans dude.
[00:27:12] Dick Cheney wanted all that his name is.
[00:27:14] Arab estrogen vagina Cheney.
[00:27:17] Very nicely done.
[00:27:21] That'll put a nice bow on that riff.
[00:27:23] Professional.
[00:27:24] Professional.
[00:27:25] I love the way the fucking Christian Bale is like Christian Bale has turned himself into
[00:27:29] fucking absolute disgusting shit to play Dick Cheney.
[00:27:33] And it's like that doesn't seem necessary.
[00:27:37] Yeah.
[00:27:38] Also there's so many fat ugly motherfuckers man for fuck sake.
[00:27:42] Hey stop.
[00:27:43] You let me do it yo.
[00:27:44] Do you know there's some scowl?
[00:27:46] Yeah.
[00:27:47] You know there's so many ugly motherfuckers.
[00:27:49] Just for everyone listening home the answer is no.
[00:27:51] No I did it.
[00:27:52] I did a good.
[00:27:53] That you look like pop up.
[00:27:56] I'm doing the painting.
[00:27:57] Like he had a stroke he like smiles from one side or something.
[00:28:00] Yeah he's got one side of his face.
[00:28:02] Yeah.
[00:28:03] He's got a weird look to him.
[00:28:04] He's got.
[00:28:05] Yeah with the there's some ugly fat bald guy who's like finally like they did the same
[00:28:11] thing.
[00:28:12] They did the same thing with like when the whitey bulger movie that was Johnny Depp.
[00:28:15] It's like we got to put Johnny Depp in a fucking bald cap.
[00:28:18] We can't let fucking some bald guy and not JK sim is that.
[00:28:21] That's how it's been an Irishman.
[00:28:23] I don't know why they can't they can't.
[00:28:25] Some fucked up alcoholic whose baldest shit looks like shit.
[00:28:30] Let him do it.
[00:28:31] I'm really bummed that Philip Seymour Hoffman representation matters.
[00:28:34] Died before he could play Steve Bannon in the trial.
[00:28:37] He would have not.
[00:28:38] He would have bought in that.
[00:28:39] He would have crushed that shit.
[00:28:41] Holy shit he really would have.
[00:28:43] It's just it's a master race.
[00:28:45] That's really good.
[00:28:47] Why isn't there a race for masters?
[00:28:49] Oh the master race huh.
[00:28:52] You guys remember that up that movie?
[00:28:53] I was listening for a second.
[00:28:55] The one about Scientology or whatever you see that?
[00:28:57] I saw part of it but I was fucked up on Edibles.
[00:28:59] I don't remember what happened.
[00:29:01] I think he fucked.
[00:29:02] I like that movie.
[00:29:03] I like that movie.
[00:29:04] I liked it too.
[00:29:05] I don't like it anymore.
[00:29:06] Bitch.
[00:29:07] I thought it was good.
[00:29:09] It seemed like they were sort of making it up as they went along though.
[00:29:14] You know what I watched?
[00:29:15] I watched The Foreigner Without You Boys.
[00:29:17] I heard it suck.
[00:29:18] The Jackie Chan movie.
[00:29:19] I watched it in a discount theater.
[00:29:20] Shout out the band Foreigner right?
[00:29:22] Shout out to Beltway movie six.
[00:29:23] Every member of the band.
[00:29:24] Yeah.
[00:29:25] Fuck what?
[00:29:26] What's a Foreigner song?
[00:29:27] Jonas said it sucked.
[00:29:28] That'd be a jute box.
[00:29:31] Hello.
[00:29:32] Yeah there you go.
[00:29:33] Nice.
[00:29:34] Thank you.
[00:29:35] Thank you.
[00:29:36] It was just so plot heavy.
[00:29:37] It was like first of all the plots were the parts where it was Jackie Chan.
[00:29:41] How about eat box hero?
[00:29:43] That's good.
[00:29:44] It's a pussy eating hero.
[00:29:45] Yup.
[00:29:46] That'd be a cool song.
[00:29:47] Eat box hero with pubes in his eyes.
[00:29:51] But I went a little little little little.
[00:29:54] Hell yeah.
[00:29:56] Great song.
[00:29:58] It was good.
[00:29:59] I mean Jackie Chan fucking rules but they made it all about like the IRA and it was
[00:30:02] like Pierce Brosnan is like Pierce Brosnan sick.
[00:30:05] Pierce Brosnan ruled but it's like he was the minister, the Irish minister to England
[00:30:09] and secretly the head of the IRA.
[00:30:12] Pierce Brosnan is like the only celebrity with a happy marriage.
[00:30:15] And his wife's ugly.
[00:30:16] His wife was hot and then she got mad fat.
[00:30:19] She had one kid but they're still like they love each other.
[00:30:23] Yeah he's on a beach and he's like making out with her rolls.
[00:30:26] Yeah.
[00:30:27] She's like salute.
[00:30:28] A true warrior.
[00:30:29] He's fucking James.
[00:30:30] I want that Pierce Brosnan and his ugly wife type love.
[00:30:33] I'm trying to be Pierce Brosnan's ugly wife for a lot.
[00:30:35] Gold Knight is my favorite bond movie.
[00:30:38] It's great dude.
[00:30:39] I fucked with Pierce.
[00:30:40] Pierce rules dude.
[00:30:41] Well I mean Gold Knight was the only good Pierce Brosnan movie.
[00:30:45] Yeah the rest of them were very bad.
[00:30:46] I kind of enjoyed the other ones but again I was in high school.
[00:30:48] The holly berry one was really bad.
[00:30:49] The one that was just the bad guy is Nick Denton.
[00:30:52] The news one?
[00:30:53] Yeah.
[00:30:54] The only good news is bad news.
[00:30:56] I don't remember that one.
[00:30:57] Was it tomorrow never?
[00:30:58] No it's tomorrow never dies.
[00:31:00] It dies.
[00:31:01] Yeah and then tomorrow's like Denise Richards one was retarded.
[00:31:05] Yeah we should play Christmas.
[00:31:06] They had to stop Charlie Sheen from fucking a child.
[00:31:09] Looks like Christmas came out of its pussy.
[00:31:11] They had a pussy juice out of it.
[00:31:14] Yeah it's all one line.
[00:31:15] It's all Corny S one line.
[00:31:18] Sean Connery had a wig the whole time.
[00:31:20] I like our show.
[00:31:21] Our show is more area-dite and sophisticated.
[00:31:23] So fucks-dicated.
[00:31:24] This is a more urbane show.
[00:31:26] Have you ever asked Bane?
[00:31:29] Yeah.
[00:31:30] Her word?
[00:31:31] Her Bane is my huge dick destroying her pussy.
[00:31:34] It's a bit urbane.
[00:31:36] Her existence.
[00:31:37] Her Bane of her existence.
[00:31:39] How about this?
[00:31:40] How about a female version of Bane that has the masking of her pussy?
[00:31:44] And it sounds weird when she gatweeps.
[00:31:46] She's like-
[00:31:48] Oh bro.
[00:31:49] I'm gonna hide you.
[00:31:52] Oh bro.
[00:31:54] Everyone in the stadium's like what the fuck is this?
[00:32:00] What is this?
[00:32:01] What is it?
[00:32:02] What is it?
[00:32:03] Who is this woman and what is she doing?
[00:32:08] Hell yeah dude.
[00:32:11] You simply adopted the pussy trans man.
[00:32:17] I was born with it.
[00:32:19] I was born with it.
[00:32:20] She doesn't believe trans people are real.
[00:32:22] I was born inside of the trans vagina.
[00:32:26] Oh fuck.
[00:32:28] Yes, transbane or queefbane I'm sorry.
[00:32:32] That's a good ass character.
[00:32:34] How was your week?
[00:32:35] I don't care.
[00:32:36] You ate a lot of food with your family.
[00:32:38] Yeah dude.
[00:32:39] Here's the Mila 8 four straight times.
[00:32:43] I had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
[00:32:45] Oh my god.
[00:32:46] It was leg of lamb with zucchini fritters, lemon potatoes, zucchachnia, and zaziki of course.
[00:32:55] And Greek salad, you know a little fucking tomato, a little fucking feta.
[00:33:01] And then to chop it all off for dessert was a pie sampler.
[00:33:07] A sliver of sweet potato, pumpkin and apple.
[00:33:10] This is going to be great for the sound board.
[00:33:12] Topped off.
[00:33:13] Topped off.
[00:33:14] Absolutely.
[00:33:15] Topped off with a heavy helping of vanilla ice cream.
[00:33:20] And I had that four times in a row and that boy.
[00:33:23] I think that took four minutes for you to name all the foods.
[00:33:27] It was good as shit.
[00:33:28] We don't fuck with turkey.
[00:33:29] I guess now the question of how did you gain 20 pounds?
[00:33:32] Yeah, yeah of course.
[00:33:34] I had salted caramel, like somebody made salted caramel and it was wedged in between like
[00:33:40] biscuit.
[00:33:41] Delicious.
[00:33:42] I think I got diabetes overnight.
[00:33:45] Yeah.
[00:33:46] Because it's just sugar.
[00:33:47] Yes, that's all.
[00:33:48] You're on sales?
[00:33:49] Look at this good ass fucking article, the unexamined brutality of the male libido.
[00:33:53] What is this New York Times?
[00:33:54] Did you see that Nazi thing they really yesterday?
[00:33:57] I saw it but I ignored it.
[00:33:59] I read it.
[00:34:00] It was pretty funny.
[00:34:01] Was it good?
[00:34:02] I'm not going to read this article but what is the answer?
[00:34:06] We need to sterilize people.
[00:34:08] You can't want to fuck a cast.
[00:34:09] Castrate them.
[00:34:10] What's the male libido?
[00:34:11] Fear of male libido.
[00:34:12] I will never stop wanting to fuck.
[00:34:14] The Nazi one was funny because like he'd be like, listen, I think Hitler was misunderstood
[00:34:19] and I think he had a lot of good points and they were like, he put red chili paper flakes
[00:34:23] and his garlic olive oil as he waited for pasta to boil.
[00:34:27] It's just like one of those like stupid profiles where they like talk about meaningless details
[00:34:31] to make it feel like full and like flesh stuff.
[00:34:34] He's a fucking Nazi man.
[00:34:36] What the fuck do we need to talk to these cops after school?
[00:34:38] It's just like, it wasn't like interesting.
[00:34:39] It wasn't like-
[00:34:40] But it's just like who gives a fuck what Nazis think?
[00:34:43] They're dumb ass fucking Nazis.
[00:34:46] They want to like fucking kill everyone that's not one.
[00:34:49] Well, it's because people like blow up racism into something more than just an opinion,
[00:34:55] which is all it is.
[00:34:56] Yeah.
[00:34:57] It's just a stupid ass opinion but it's an ass motherfucker that you like can hold with
[00:35:00] varying degrees of conviction but it's not like, you know, imagine somebody that was
[00:35:05] like convinced that the Star Wars movies sucked and that everyone was fucking wrong.
[00:35:11] People wouldn't be like, look, he walks his dog like everybody else.
[00:35:13] How is that possible?
[00:35:14] It's just an fucking opinion.
[00:35:16] That's all it is.
[00:35:17] And then the response to all those Nazi articles is like, don't normalize this behavior, which
[00:35:23] is also bullshit.
[00:35:24] It's not like somebody that's like going to read that and say, yeah, you know what?
[00:35:27] I also like red pepper flakes in my pasta.
[00:35:30] Maybe I should start using the N word.
[00:35:32] But I don't know.
[00:35:33] It is kind of weird to just see fucking Nazis get this like light treatment of like get
[00:35:39] puff pieces written about them.
[00:35:40] It's like, it is a little weird.
[00:35:41] I do think there's something to the normalizing thing of it.
[00:35:44] No, somebody wanted to, you know, get their paycheck.
[00:35:46] Oh, this is like more acceptable.
[00:35:50] This is like you shouldn't be.
[00:35:51] You shouldn't like say you're a Nazi out loud.
[00:35:54] Well, it's like, yeah, it's like that's not something that like should be.
[00:35:56] It's part of the whole two sides to every story thing.
[00:35:59] But there isn't there side, you know, fuck their side.
[00:36:02] It's like shit.
[00:36:03] Who gives a fuck about not like, I don't know.
[00:36:06] I just think it's fucking retarded that we're talking about what Nazis want, where it's
[00:36:10] like you shouldn't give them the fucking time of day and they shouldn't have any political
[00:36:13] power whatsoever.
[00:36:14] Like that's crazy to me that there's a group that there's that many people in America
[00:36:20] that are like, yeah, this is fucking we're going to meet up.
[00:36:23] I mean, I mean, you're right, but it seems like it's more because I barely read it.
[00:36:27] The guy that profile was just someone that went to Charlottesville.
[00:36:30] It's just someone with a computer.
[00:36:32] Yeah, it's just some guy.
[00:36:33] It's not something that I power.
[00:36:34] You know, how?
[00:36:35] Yeah, some why the fucking writing about that's the point that because here's why they're
[00:36:39] writing about it because everyone's fucking like in this like rabid froth about the not
[00:36:45] the terrifying Nazis are coming back.
[00:36:48] It's not like I mean, sure, the New York Times plays a role in that, but they're not the
[00:36:52] ones fucking doing it.
[00:36:53] There's people shaking in their boots about this Nazi uprising.
[00:36:57] There were like 400 people in Charlottesville.
[00:36:59] Yeah, and it's just doesn't fucking exist.
[00:37:01] So there were half that many people at sidebar at your show.
[00:37:04] Right, right, right.
[00:37:05] That's true.
[00:37:06] You know, that's pathetic 400 people.
[00:37:08] That's true.
[00:37:09] The fucked up thing is that someone died, you know, because people were freaking out about
[00:37:13] it so much that it got like shit.
[00:37:15] Well, that's not why they died over.
[00:37:16] I guess it's like my point is if you want to be mad at something and people, you know,
[00:37:21] engaging in anti social behavior, that's really fucking harmful, why don't you look at the
[00:37:26] people that rape children that make all of the movies that you watch.
[00:37:30] That's a fucking group.
[00:37:32] The people that literally are above the law because they can fuck children in a plane
[00:37:37] that they own.
[00:37:38] Oh, fuck.
[00:37:39] That's true.
[00:37:40] Yep, they're next.
[00:37:41] Yeah.
[00:37:42] I'm not worried about some guy in Ohio who like fucking, you know, makes pasta and loses
[00:37:48] mom and goes to rally.
[00:37:49] Pets his cat.
[00:37:50] No, he lives in this little print.
[00:37:51] Well, I pet my cat.
[00:37:52] So maybe he'll be a kid.
[00:37:53] Yeah, you're just like him.
[00:37:54] Anything your tas are just like him.
[00:37:55] If anything, your take away ship from that, it shouldn't be that it's normalizing Nazis,
[00:37:59] but that it's like, you know, showing you that like, again, it's just somebody with
[00:38:04] an opinion you don't like.
[00:38:06] Yeah.
[00:38:07] That I mean, it's like, it doesn't fucking matter.
[00:38:10] You're not going to be able to eradicate people who don't agree with you about shit.
[00:38:14] Even if it's an extreme opinion, like white people should separate and have their own
[00:38:18] fucking nation.
[00:38:19] Right.
[00:38:20] You know, I mean, when it gets to a political level, then that's different.
[00:38:23] But this is not like a guy that controls anything.
[00:38:26] You know, and racists have always been around.
[00:38:29] Like I don't understand what this fucking why everybody just it is.
[00:38:31] We're here.
[00:38:32] Rized by the fuck.
[00:38:33] It's not that it terrorized, but anyway, we're talking in circles, but it's just weird
[00:38:36] that they're getting mainstream, like media attention for being racist, basically.
[00:38:40] Yeah, I just don't think that it's like, yeah, it's a matter of numbers.
[00:38:44] It's like, why is this?
[00:38:45] My, this is softening my dick.
[00:38:47] Whatever.
[00:38:48] We had it nice and stiff before.
[00:38:49] Anyway, Lindy shouldn't have written that article.
[00:38:53] Well, Lindy's going to find a fat racist and then be like, well, maybe, maybe there's
[00:38:58] a goodness.
[00:38:59] I'm sick and tired of everywhere I go.
[00:39:04] Men just got calling me sick, have sex with me, Java.
[00:39:08] I love you, Java.
[00:39:10] Me and my friend hooked each other up to the fucking blizzard mixing machine.
[00:39:16] We broke bread, numerous pieces of bread, cake, every type of bread you can imagine.
[00:39:22] And we really got down to brass tacks and then we ate all the brass and we ate all the
[00:39:26] tacks.
[00:39:27] I really can't wait until she fucking just has to get like, to has to have medical intervention
[00:39:35] and then fucking turns her back on the fat community.
[00:39:38] You think she's going to get her stomach stabled?
[00:39:40] Well, everything she does is like in extreme, whatever her personal trajectory is at the
[00:39:45] time is the only right and true way to live your life.
[00:39:49] Right, right.
[00:39:50] So if she does have a medical emergency, you know, and she has to get lap and she has to
[00:39:54] start losing weight, losing weight feels good.
[00:39:56] Yeah.
[00:39:57] And if she continues in that direction, then she's going to, I could totally see her becoming
[00:40:01] a fitness person.
[00:40:02] And then it's like, you know what?
[00:40:04] You're just making a fucked up sound.
[00:40:06] That's the sound earnest mix.
[00:40:07] Grouse.
[00:40:08] Okay.
[00:40:09] I thought I was going to throw up or something.
[00:40:10] No, he doesn't know that he's a cat.
[00:40:13] He thinks he's like a tortoise or something.
[00:40:15] He's the gay turtle.
[00:40:17] Yeah.
[00:40:18] Yeah, I could see, I see what you're saying.
[00:40:20] Yo, some fucking a cop in Baltimore who was going to testify against other cops got killed.
[00:40:25] Good.
[00:40:26] But he got shot with his own gun and his partner hid and called 911 cops are fucking setting
[00:40:34] motherfuckers up, dude.
[00:40:35] Yeah.
[00:40:36] I mean, of course, it's just wild.
[00:40:38] I mean, like the police department there gets caught like every other year engaging in some
[00:40:45] like giant fucking drug distribution ring.
[00:40:47] Yeah.
[00:40:48] Yeah, they were selling drugs to the Philly police.
[00:40:51] Yeah, like selling it.
[00:40:53] It's like they were wholesaling.
[00:40:55] They were the plug for the Philly cops.
[00:40:57] That's unbelievable, dude.
[00:40:59] Yeah.
[00:41:00] Body more.
[00:41:01] I told you, I took that test because every Tuesday you can just go to like Baltimore Police
[00:41:06] department headquarters and take the test.
[00:41:08] Oh, shit.
[00:41:09] We should go.
[00:41:10] We should take it.
[00:41:11] They don't.
[00:41:12] They just know kind of I mean, I was there and there was just some fucking like deranged
[00:41:16] homeless guy with a bag full of loose tools.
[00:41:19] Taking the test.
[00:41:21] Taking the test.
[00:41:22] And you know, I was like, fuck it.
[00:41:25] Why not?
[00:41:26] Let's see what happens.
[00:41:27] I took the test and like immediately after I take the test, like a fucking like captain
[00:41:31] comes out from the back and he's like, yeah, some came up in your background check.
[00:41:34] So a major needs to look over it and there's no majors, you know, to office today.
[00:41:39] And then like two weeks later, I got a letter from the mayor that's like, you can never
[00:41:42] be a police officer.
[00:41:43] I'm like, the buyers.
[00:41:44] I don't have.
[00:41:45] I don't know.
[00:41:46] It's not priors.
[00:41:48] It's like something.
[00:41:49] Were you ever arrested?
[00:41:51] No.
[00:41:52] And releasing.
[00:41:53] I mean, I guess I've been investigated for shit, but interesting.
[00:41:55] Yeah.
[00:41:56] You're on some list you don't even know about.
[00:41:57] Yeah.
[00:41:58] I mean, yes, I've been I've been under federal.
[00:42:01] Right.
[00:42:02] Right.
[00:42:03] That was after you took the Baltimore.
[00:42:04] Yeah, I don't I don't know though.
[00:42:05] Interesting.
[00:42:06] You never know.
[00:42:07] You never know.
[00:42:08] You've been tracked this whole time.
[00:42:10] But do you guys remember in the black gorilla family was just fucking she got they got like
[00:42:15] they were running a prison.
[00:42:16] They just like got guards pregnant.
[00:42:19] Oh, yeah.
[00:42:20] And like imagine fucking the like you've you've fucked the guards like you're not even pulling
[00:42:25] out your prison.
[00:42:26] You're like, what the fuck?
[00:42:27] You're not in the guards.
[00:42:28] You're not in the guards.
[00:42:29] And he got a pregnant.
[00:42:30] I think she had the kid.
[00:42:31] Yeah.
[00:42:32] That's so salute to that guy, man.
[00:42:34] Well anyways, that day that I took the test, they were going to hire like an additional
[00:42:40] 300 officers that year.
[00:42:42] So it was kind of like anybody can get the job and I was like, it would be hilarious.
[00:42:45] Oh, yeah.
[00:42:46] If I just you know, I just did the job for like a month.
[00:42:48] Of course.
[00:42:49] You're still a signing bonus.
[00:42:50] I think so.
[00:42:51] But you're still a civilian.
[00:42:52] So you can quit whenever you want.
[00:42:54] Right.
[00:42:55] I mean, maybe they could go after you for like breach a contract or something.
[00:42:57] But I don't, you know, I know you can quit.
[00:42:59] You can quit the Academy.
[00:43:00] Yeah.
[00:43:01] But the Academy is the fun part.
[00:43:02] That's where all the hijinks happen.
[00:43:04] Yeah.
[00:43:05] That's right.
[00:43:06] That's where the sound effects go.
[00:43:08] Well, that day some fucking officer had been training like officers from other departments.
[00:43:15] It was like a cross departmental like training exercise.
[00:43:19] And they were just on some hospital property, some like abandoned hospital property.
[00:43:24] Oh, fuck.
[00:43:25] I remember this.
[00:43:26] And the trainer shot a training in the head.
[00:43:29] And the guy like almost died.
[00:43:31] Yeah.
[00:43:32] And then they find out that like training wasn't approved.
[00:43:34] They didn't have the right to be there.
[00:43:36] There was no explanation of what the training was.
[00:43:39] Right.
[00:43:40] Right.
[00:43:41] Right.
[00:43:42] Right.
[00:43:43] He just she just fucking I think they were supposed to be using like blanks and they were just
[00:43:44] just you know, you're not supposed to use blanks when they do training exercises.
[00:43:47] They have like rubber guns that are painted bright red.
[00:43:50] So there's no way you could possibly confuse them for real gods.
[00:43:55] He pulled out his real shot at training in the fucking head.
[00:43:59] Damn Baltimore, baby.
[00:44:01] More schmurdle land.
[00:44:02] Yeah.
[00:44:03] My home.
[00:44:04] Well, I think schmurdle apparently got set up and shouldn't be in jail.
[00:44:07] Is that what you heard?
[00:44:08] Yeah.
[00:44:09] What do you say that?
[00:44:10] There's an article that was way too long for me to read.
[00:44:12] He looks jacked.
[00:44:13] It said that he should not.
[00:44:15] I saw a picture.
[00:44:16] It was an over ambitious D.A. trying to make an example of him because of his music.
[00:44:21] Yeah.
[00:44:22] Dizzin everyone is not.
[00:44:23] Is it everyone in jail from that?
[00:44:25] Like everyone?
[00:44:26] Oh, I don't know.
[00:44:27] A little schmurdeter team.
[00:44:28] Oh, from of his friends.
[00:44:31] Yeah.
[00:44:32] I don't know.
[00:44:33] I really did not read the full artist.
[00:44:35] Get the fuck off my face, bitch.
[00:44:36] Yeah, but I don't know.
[00:44:39] That should was wild.
[00:44:40] But anyway, guys, also it's important to note the ticket link is up now for the 22nd.
[00:44:50] Oh, yeah.
[00:44:51] Yeah.
[00:44:52] Yeah.
[00:44:53] Yeah.
[00:44:54] The fucking Christmas show December 22nd at the black cat eight o'clock fucking eight
[00:44:58] o'clock doors eight 30 show all three boys getting our fucking bringing our holiday
[00:45:06] pricks out for the world.
[00:45:09] And I know it's like very common for like fans of podcasts to bring gifts for people
[00:45:14] that of the podcast they like is it if you're a gay man and you want to marry Adam, you have
[00:45:19] to bring a dowry.
[00:45:20] We have to approve.
[00:45:21] You have to present.
[00:45:22] You have to present me with a golden egg.
[00:45:26] At which point I will allow you to fucking sodomize Adam.
[00:45:30] Any which way you please.
[00:45:31] Please just going to ask for HIV positive.
[00:45:33] Please come inside of it.
[00:45:36] Is that how it works?
[00:45:37] If you come, I thought it was just on the tear and tear and tear and that.
[00:45:40] It's in the jizz.
[00:45:41] Yeah.
[00:45:42] Yeah.
[00:45:43] Jizz, breast milk, blood.
[00:45:44] Those are the three.
[00:45:45] Fuck.
[00:45:46] My favorite.
[00:45:47] My favorite three food groups.
[00:45:49] Yeah.
[00:45:50] And also.
[00:45:51] Pussidres.
[00:45:52] In the pussidges.
[00:45:56] I love the way the pussidres test and it has eight.
[00:45:59] I'm beating off the pussy, mom.
[00:46:01] Get down.
[00:46:02] My mom and I have to jack off your fucking bitch.
[00:46:07] I don't want to see your old pussy.
[00:46:09] Shut up.
[00:46:10] Your fucking bitch, mom.
[00:46:11] Shut the fuck up.
[00:46:14] Get out.
[00:46:16] I'm jogging off.
[00:46:17] Get out.
[00:46:22] Oh, the friend.
[00:46:24] My friend.
[00:46:27] My friend.
[00:46:32] I'm sorry.
[00:46:35] I want to say the end.
[00:46:39] I'm sorry.
[00:46:49] I'm sorry.
[00:46:53] Shut that bitch, mom.
[00:46:58] Fuck, dude.
[00:47:00] I just picture like it now, baby.
[00:47:01] Lestrios is the most fun.
[00:47:03] I love molesrios.
[00:47:05] Just saying, shut that bitch, mom.
[00:47:08] I will never not smile when I say that phrase.
[00:47:10] Shut that bitch, mom.
[00:47:12] It's almost like you must never respect our woman.
[00:47:15] It is very important that you never respect our woman.
[00:47:19] Because a woman is not capable of saying yes to us.
[00:47:23] Stop watching those videos, molesrios.
[00:47:26] I'm trying to learn, bitch, mom.
[00:47:30] I love Africa.
[00:47:33] These are the only good ones.
[00:47:35] Stop watching African-Gavin Miki in this.
[00:47:41] African-Migginess.
[00:47:43] Yo, is
[00:47:58] that right?
[00:48:08] I know respect for authority.
[00:48:10] They're all narcissists, so they all rape.
[00:48:12] They all just fucking rape each other.
[00:48:15] Now they're going to one by one do exposés on the rape issue.
[00:48:20] Each individual publication until there's no more media,
[00:48:23] which would be perfect.
[00:48:24] That's when we come in, we do our own music.
[00:48:27] It's us Reddit vote, V-O-A-T.
[00:48:30] Have you seen that one?
[00:48:31] No, it's racist Reddit.
[00:48:33] Oh, really?
[00:48:34] It's where I get most of my...
[00:48:35] Wait a second, isn't Reddit racist Reddit?
[00:48:37] No, actually.
[00:48:38] They rebranded.
[00:48:39] Really?
[00:48:40] Really?
[00:48:41] Yeah.
[00:48:42] Don't they have R- slash the Donald and stuff?
[00:48:44] Yeah, but that one's just about Donald Trump.
[00:48:46] I guess you have to...
[00:48:48] Social media is just going to keep swinging back and forth
[00:48:52] because none of these companies have any real principles.
[00:48:55] Right.
[00:48:57] That's what all the girl comics now are finding that out
[00:48:59] because they're getting banned for writing men or scum.
[00:49:01] Right, right.
[00:49:02] Which is like bullshit, but they have the wrong take,
[00:49:07] which is like we got to get Facebook to stick by their original principles.
[00:49:11] It's like no, you need to realize it's a fucking company.
[00:49:14] I mean, but they should be shit about you.
[00:49:16] My girlfriend...
[00:49:17] It is crazy that they don't ban people that fucking threaten to kill people
[00:49:20] and drop end bombs and shit.
[00:49:22] You can find examples of people that say men are scum
[00:49:27] that don't get banned from Facebook.
[00:49:29] If you want to play the what about is in game in terms of how their social media policy is enacted,
[00:49:34] it's whatever.
[00:49:35] But the thing is, is don't try to make a case about whether Facebook is good or bad politically.
[00:49:41] Realize it.
[00:49:42] It is bad.
[00:49:43] Realize that it's a company that is only concerned with protecting its profits.
[00:49:48] Only people pursuing these community safety standards are essentially customer service agents
[00:49:56] that probably hate you, hate their job, hate their fucking life.
[00:50:00] Just realize that you don't need Facebook.
[00:50:04] You should embrace freedom of expression across the board
[00:50:07] and not celebrate it when fucking people you don't like are silenced.
[00:50:11] Well, yeah, and it's also the way you get in trouble is by people that don't like you.
[00:50:15] Of course.
[00:50:16] Right.
[00:50:17] My girl just got banned from Twitter for calling Blossom a Zionist cunt.
[00:50:22] She is, isn't she?
[00:50:24] She is.
[00:50:25] Yeah.
[00:50:26] But Zionist is a slur.
[00:50:28] Really?
[00:50:29] I guess.
[00:50:30] Yeah.
[00:50:31] I think cunt is the...
[00:50:32] Cunt.
[00:50:33] That's not a bad word.
[00:50:34] Yeah, you can say cunt.
[00:50:35] I mean, you can say English.
[00:50:36] I mean, you can say English.
[00:50:37] You should be like, I'm British.
[00:50:38] Yeah.
[00:50:39] So I think she's my friend.
[00:50:40] It's just like none of these people understood two years ago that silencing people for expressing
[00:50:46] opinions that you don't like isn't a good idea.
[00:50:49] Right.
[00:50:50] Right.
[00:50:51] Yes.
[00:50:52] No one...
[00:50:53] No one...
[00:50:54] No one...
[00:50:55] And then it was considered like fucking rape apology or concern trolling to say like, hey, we
[00:50:56] should embrace the idea that anybody should be able to say whatever you want and if you
[00:51:02] don't like it, you can block them or ignore it.
[00:51:05] Right.
[00:51:06] Right.
[00:51:07] Right.
[00:51:08] You know, it's like, whoa, who's for damaging me?
[00:51:09] It's for...
[00:51:10] All right.
[00:51:11] Well, now it's being used against you.
[00:51:12] So I guess there you go.
[00:51:13] This is the fucking world you wanted.
[00:51:14] Yeah.
[00:51:15] I mean, I guess to their point, it's like it's not even because it's not even an equal.
[00:51:20] You don't...
[00:51:21] You're not...
[00:51:22] I guess they want the people that fucking say the...
[00:51:24] I mean, I don't agree that anyone...
[00:51:26] You're still making the wrong argument.
[00:51:27] I know.
[00:51:28] I'm not...
[00:51:29] I'm not...
[00:51:30] I don't think you should be silenced.
[00:51:31] Oh, now it's not...
[00:51:32] Now it's not being used.
[00:51:33] It's being used against us, whatever, but now we want it to, you know, also be used against
[00:51:38] people we disagree with.
[00:51:39] Right.
[00:51:40] Right.
[00:51:41] Right.
[00:51:42] Right.
[00:51:43] It's like, no.
[00:51:44] People are all for people to be silenced, ever.
[00:51:46] Just don't do it.
[00:51:47] If their opinions are bad, you should either have a counter argument that's better than
[00:51:50] yours.
[00:51:51] Just ignore them.
[00:51:52] Or just fucking ignore them.
[00:51:53] Like an adult, like you were told to do as a child when somebody said something you
[00:51:57] didn't like.
[00:51:58] In the case of violent threats and shit, the same thing, but none of these are violent
[00:52:01] threats.
[00:52:02] But I'm just saying, are there exceptions in case you're using...
[00:52:05] And you know what?
[00:52:06] Violent threats are illegal.
[00:52:07] Right.
[00:52:08] So if the problem is, is that they threaten you across state lines, call the fucking police.
[00:52:12] If you believe it's a credible threat, call the police.
[00:52:14] You know, what about the fucking...
[00:52:15] Don't think the solution is like Facebook.
[00:52:18] It's Facebook, Tatling.
[00:52:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:52:20] What about those fucking...
[00:52:21] Do you see the M-Y, the cops that tried to like, uh, intimidate a rape witness?
[00:52:29] No.
[00:52:30] The good cop rape is like...
[00:52:32] You're talking about that at times, that times article.
[00:52:35] Yeah.
[00:52:36] What happened?
[00:52:37] It's wild.
[00:52:38] Wait, the New York City police officers that raped those girls in a van?
[00:52:41] Yeah, I think so.
[00:52:42] Yeah, I remember that story.
[00:52:43] That's wild, dude.
[00:52:44] Yeah.
[00:52:45] That's my take.
[00:52:46] It's fucked up.
[00:52:47] Yeah.
[00:52:48] Comptorbed.
[00:52:49] Damn it.
[00:52:50] That shit is wild.
[00:52:51] That's wild.
[00:52:52] That's what the article said.
[00:52:53] Yeah, it just was a clip of being like, what?
[00:52:56] It's called Wilding Out.
[00:52:57] These those cops were really wilding out.
[00:53:00] It's called the rape out game.
[00:53:03] It's called Wilding Out.
[00:53:05] Games of black teams going street to street raping out young white men.
[00:53:12] Clappers talk about it in their songs.
[00:53:14] I mean, it's like a game, basically.
[00:53:16] What you do is you get, and it's like the garbled like...
[00:53:19] Yeah, yeah.
[00:53:20] It's like the game, basically.
[00:53:21] What you do is you refine the white guy and then you fuck him until he's gay.
[00:53:28] Preferably outside of the Barnes & Noble because those guys are close anyways.
[00:53:33] Do you guys ever have a thing of like, uh, we were scared.
[00:53:38] There was like an urban legend of a gang called the Pink Stars that were gay gangsters that
[00:53:45] would rape you.
[00:53:46] Do you guys ever have?
[00:53:47] I never saw any evidence of it.
[00:53:48] I've never seen a Pink Star in my life.
[00:53:50] Well, DC there was Check It, dude.
[00:53:51] Remember those kids that they used to hang out at Gallery Place Metro?
[00:53:54] No.
[00:53:55] There was like a gang of...
[00:53:56] Adam was, uh, when he first moved to DC, he was really into being forcibly sodomized
[00:54:02] by gangs.
[00:54:03] Yeah.
[00:54:04] So he knows where all of those...
[00:54:05] He wasn't into it.
[00:54:06] He would...
[00:54:07] He would...
[00:54:08] He would go, you'd go, you'd go, hey boys, seize up, bees down.
[00:54:13] Wait until they hold him down.
[00:54:18] Wait until they...
[00:54:20] To near death.
[00:54:23] Uh, who was Check It or whatever the fuck?
[00:54:26] There were like kids like gay, like street kids that were like tired of getting bullied.
[00:54:30] So like if someone was like, you fucking faggots or whatever, they just tweet out like, Check
[00:54:35] It.
[00:54:36] They have like 400 kids there.
[00:54:38] Really?
[00:54:39] Ready to fight.
[00:54:40] Yeah, there was...
[00:54:41] One time I saw a fight on the like, on the other side of the Metro at Chinatown on the
[00:54:44] Green Line and it was like literally 200 kids.
[00:54:47] Just like fucking tranny, like trans women fucking...
[00:54:51] Whoa.
[00:54:52] Like people just fucking go all the fucking...
[00:54:53] So if you know anyone in the gang, Check It.
[00:54:55] Let them know that Adam called them trannies.
[00:54:57] No, I did it on a content.
[00:54:59] Check It.
[00:55:00] Yeah.
[00:55:01] I'm tweeting it right now.
[00:55:02] I'm a part of Check It.
[00:55:03] But actually what happened was someone made a documentary about it and, and Louie, I don't
[00:55:06] know if I'm allowed to say his name, beat off in front of them, saw it and he was like,
[00:55:09] this is...
[00:55:10] Louie, Check It.
[00:55:11] Check It.
[00:55:12] Yeah, Louie.
[00:55:13] That's what his last check is for.
[00:55:14] Check Kids.
[00:55:15] Louie saw it.
[00:55:16] He was like, I think this is really important then and people should see it and he distributed
[00:55:20] it through his website because he's like, no one's going to see this.
[00:55:24] If you're not like at a queer film festival, you like no one would have ever seen it.
[00:55:29] Yeah.
[00:55:30] But I guess he liked it a lot.
[00:55:31] So he sold down his website.
[00:55:32] Hopefully he gave them the money, right?
[00:55:34] No, he didn't.
[00:55:35] He took the money.
[00:55:36] He, I would.
[00:55:37] I wouldn't give them.
[00:55:38] I wouldn't give them a dime.
[00:55:41] That's what they get.
[00:55:42] Yeah.
[00:55:43] You wanted to be in a gang?
[00:55:45] You're not getting paid.
[00:55:46] That's right, brother.
[00:55:47] That's how I keep kids out of gangs.
[00:55:48] Yeah.
[00:55:49] By keeping them poor.
[00:55:50] Stealing their money.
[00:55:51] Yeah.
[00:55:52] I'm going 12 and 12.
[00:55:53] If they had money before, Yank, I take that shit too.
[00:55:55] You know?
[00:55:58] So what is your most cherished Thanksgiving memory of all time?
[00:56:04] Yank has decided to just use his phone instead of it.
[00:56:06] You were just on your computer.
[00:56:07] I'm sorry.
[00:56:08] I'm not on my computer.
[00:56:09] I was looking at something that we discussed earlier, but never mind.
[00:56:13] What did we discuss earlier?
[00:56:14] You can't even name it.
[00:56:15] You don't even know what we've been talking about.
[00:56:18] Nothing.
[00:56:19] You don't even know.
[00:56:20] Don't continue.
[00:56:21] My most cherished Thanksgiving memory.
[00:56:22] Thanksgiving memory.
[00:56:23] I don't know.
[00:56:24] It's Thanksgiving is not a big deal.
[00:56:25] I'll tell you mine.
[00:56:26] No, it's not for us either.
[00:56:27] Here comes another five and a half minute long menu description.
[00:56:31] It wasn't.
[00:56:32] It's not five and a half minutes.
[00:56:33] This menu is very custard.
[00:56:34] No, it's a crab dip from Price Club.
[00:56:37] Nine days before they were Costco.
[00:56:39] Kirkland brand aioli.
[00:56:40] Yes, actually it is.
[00:56:41] I don't know if it's Kirkland brand.
[00:56:44] Whatever Price Club.
[00:56:45] Whatever Price Club was.
[00:56:46] Costco.
[00:56:47] That was Costco, yeah.
[00:56:48] They had a fucking crab dip that was unbelievable.
[00:56:51] I remember that.
[00:56:52] And my mom got pita chips and they were extra salty that year?
[00:56:56] Bro, I must have had two clubs of that shit.
[00:56:59] And no joke, that's my most cherished Thanksgiving memory.
[00:57:01] Just by myself.
[00:57:02] Just going to town on that fucking club of crab dip.
[00:57:05] And before you cut me off with loud, fat, you know, interjections, Thanksgiving food
[00:57:12] sucks.
[00:57:13] Oh yeah, I agree with you.
[00:57:14] It's bad.
[00:57:15] There's just a lot of it.
[00:57:16] So what you get excited about is mass.
[00:57:19] Turkey is not good.
[00:57:20] First of all, I don't fuck with Turkey.
[00:57:21] Turkey sucks.
[00:57:22] Turkey sucks.
[00:57:23] Stuffing, even the best stuffing in the world is fucking garbage.
[00:57:25] Have you seen it in Turkey in real life?
[00:57:27] It is so scary.
[00:57:28] I don't fuck with Turkey.
[00:57:29] I'm terrified of that.
[00:57:30] Adam's afraid of all kinds of small birds.
[00:57:32] They're not small.
[00:57:33] They're not small.
[00:57:34] They're big as hell.
[00:57:35] They're big as shit.
[00:57:36] They're like fucking dinosaurs.
[00:57:37] I'm bigger than a fucking turkey.
[00:57:38] Oh, congratulations.
[00:57:39] There's some big ones though out there, man.
[00:57:41] Adam's fucking afraid of any kind of small animal.
[00:57:44] Dude, they got talons, bro.
[00:57:46] Because he's so rude.
[00:57:47] They could tell the shit out of you.
[00:57:49] Wild turkeys.
[00:57:50] I would fuck up.
[00:57:51] They have little nuts hanging off their chin though.
[00:57:52] You grabbed their little chins.
[00:57:53] That's the scariest part, the red chin, the red turkeys.
[00:57:55] You grabbed their nuts and you suck them.
[00:57:56] You had that video.
[00:57:57] I mean, that video that like gay news anchor holding the chicken and the chicken.
[00:58:02] And starts like flapping into wings.
[00:58:04] And he's like, oh my God.
[00:58:06] He's like losing his mind.
[00:58:10] I agree in general that Thanksgiving food is overrated though.
[00:58:13] This is just something funny that happened yesterday.
[00:58:15] The guy sitting next to me on the plate and watched Love Actually two times in a row.
[00:58:19] That's cool.
[00:58:20] He like, he was a fucking buff ass dude.
[00:58:23] He sat down and he watched Love Actually.
[00:58:25] He like, scanned through all the other movies and then he just decided to run it back.
[00:58:29] Go one more time.
[00:58:30] I'm going to run back this movie that's supposed to be romantic but it's fucked up and weird.
[00:58:33] Snape like cheats on his wife.
[00:58:35] Yeah, why do people not like it?
[00:58:37] I thought it was pleasant.
[00:58:38] I don't remember.
[00:58:39] I remember.
[00:58:40] It's like Christina's favorite movie and I remember watching it with her and being like,
[00:58:42] this shit sucks.
[00:58:43] Let's fill up Cockrell.
[00:58:44] One of 500 birds that are being judged today at the show.
[00:58:50] It's Adam's dad.
[00:58:56] That's a manlier scream than you gave him credit for.
[00:58:58] He's just Australian.
[00:59:00] I thought he was British which made him gay.
[00:59:04] You can't be on the news in Britain and not be straight.
[00:59:07] I'm going to call it gay Britain.
[00:59:09] I think it's with gay.
[00:59:10] Gay, gay, gay, gay Britain.
[00:59:13] Everything's called gay.
[00:59:14] Gay Adam.
[00:59:15] Gay Adam.
[00:59:16] That was my original name.
[00:59:18] The Union Jack.
[00:59:19] What do you think that is?
[00:59:20] That means two guys jacking off.
[00:59:21] Union Jack.
[00:59:22] That's right.
[00:59:23] It's the Union.
[00:59:24] It's the Union.
[00:59:25] The Union is the Union.
[00:59:26] You grab his cock.
[00:59:27] He grabs your cock.
[00:59:28] What do you say we meet up at the lorry and have a Union, Jack, together?
[00:59:34] Yeah.
[00:59:35] Together.
[00:59:36] Together.
[00:59:37] I think that's Australian.
[00:59:38] It's all the same.
[00:59:39] It's all the same.
[00:59:40] That's Australian.
[00:59:41] It's all the same.
[00:59:42] What do you pop on over and grab me a cook?
[00:59:44] Grab me a tool.
[00:59:45] Polish off me, Bel-end.
[00:59:46] I was telling somebody the other day.
[00:59:48] I used to work at a cell phone kiosk and these two British guys came over together and
[00:59:53] I, you know, they're British so I'm already such a guy.
[00:59:56] Suspicious.
[00:59:57] And I didn't know if they were like fucking or whatever, but they come up and they say,
[01:00:02] yeah, can we come here to top up?
[01:00:05] And I was like, what, like fuck each other in the store?
[01:00:08] Just get head.
[01:00:09] Yeah.
[01:00:10] No, I mean, it means a couple more minutes on your phone.
[01:00:12] Oh, yeah.
[01:00:13] To top off.
[01:00:14] The expression we use here.
[01:00:15] Top off.
[01:00:16] Yeah.
[01:00:17] So I would talk, no, if we tote up.
[01:00:18] And you're like, oh, I guess and you suck their cocks.
[01:00:20] No, I didn't do shit.
[01:00:21] I said, I'm going on break.
[01:00:23] This ain't my job.
[01:00:24] This is not my job.
[01:00:25] And then I went into Charlotte Ruse and I started sticking my tongue out of women, you
[01:00:30] know?
[01:00:31] Really?
[01:00:32] Yeah.
[01:00:33] There was, I used to work next to a Charlotte Ruse and this moron worked at the store and
[01:00:36] then me and this other guy who has friends with us, it worked at the store convinced
[01:00:40] the moron that the Facker old worked at Charlotte's Ruse was like the hottest woman in the world.
[01:00:45] And he's like, really?
[01:00:46] And we're like, yeah.
[01:00:47] And then he started dating her.
[01:00:48] What?
[01:00:49] Yeah.
[01:00:50] He trolled him into a relationship.
[01:00:52] Yeah.
[01:00:53] Yeah.
[01:00:54] Was she hot?
[01:00:55] No.
[01:00:56] Was she cute?
[01:00:57] No.
[01:00:58] Just no, no, we were just like, you know, literally that literally that Eric tried to
[01:01:02] do.
[01:01:03] We successfully did Adam shared where he got a convinced cousin.
[01:01:07] You got to help make him sad.
[01:01:08] I'm that Ben's cousin's hot.
[01:01:10] She's like, clearly not.
[01:01:12] That became a bird.
[01:01:13] Get to the end.
[01:01:14] Huh?
[01:01:15] That became Aaron Berg at the end.
[01:01:16] No, yeah.
[01:01:17] They kind of have a similar effect.
[01:01:18] Oh my God, Jesus.
[01:01:20] What do we got here?
[01:01:24] A couple of Jews.
[01:01:25] Is this a fat woman?
[01:01:26] A black guy?
[01:01:27] I bet he has sex with her.
[01:01:34] That's hilarious.
[01:01:35] You can be convinced that someone you don't actually find hot is hot.
[01:01:38] Yeah.
[01:01:39] The power of the human mind.
[01:01:40] Oh, yeah.
[01:01:41] It's very easy.
[01:01:42] Hmm.
[01:01:43] Really?
[01:01:44] Well, that's been our hour.
[01:01:46] It's been the bonus episode.
[01:01:48] Houry successfully went the whole time without talking about Hollywood.
[01:01:51] We did a little bit.
[01:01:52] Yeah, it was mentioned.
[01:01:54] Okay, so plug.
[01:01:55] We have plug it up.
[01:01:56] It's a bar and I.
[01:01:57] Get up.
[01:01:58] Plug it up.
[01:01:59] It's funny moms.
[01:02:00] Come on everybody.
[01:02:01] Come on everybody.
[01:02:02] Stop your in Cleveland.
[01:02:03] Mike Vekione is going to be on it.
[01:02:04] We don't know who else we haven't booked it.
[01:02:05] I am in Cleveland this weekend.
[01:02:07] I'll be headlining the hilarities in Cleveland Sunday the third and then I'm at the House
[01:02:12] of Blues in Boston on the 16th.
[01:02:15] And like we said earlier, the 22nd, the big mother fucking holiday show with all the boys,
[01:02:20] live podcast.
[01:02:21] Yeah.
[01:02:22] And I'm at DC.
[01:02:23] Come get sucked off.
[01:02:25] I'm also, I'm doing spots again and I'm at like the standing room almost every weekend
[01:02:31] and then I hang out to stand pretty often.
[01:02:32] Yeah, shout out to the stand.
[01:02:34] A great fucking club.
[01:02:35] It's good.
[01:02:36] Come out.
[01:02:37] You might get, I might be on stage.
[01:02:38] Jods are that I will be if I'm hanging there.
[01:02:41] So come out whenever and then let Patrick know if you see Patrick, he's the lumbering
[01:02:46] prison.
[01:02:47] Yes.
[01:02:48] That books the room.
[01:02:49] Tell him you came out because of come town.
[01:02:51] That's right.
[01:02:52] That will give me more spots.
[01:02:53] And me also.
[01:02:54] Yeah.
[01:02:55] But specifically me because I'm the one that figured out this angle.
[01:02:58] No.
[01:02:59] I mean, it's I think that's the general angle.
[01:03:00] Don't try to like cut into my slices.
[01:03:02] Can you ask for me too?
[01:03:04] Well, Adam, you're not past at the stand and I've told Patrick repeatedly that you're not
[01:03:09] really a stand up.
[01:03:10] What do you mean past?
[01:03:11] Yeah.
[01:03:12] Have you tried to get it?
[01:03:13] Yes.
[01:03:14] You don't even know what past means.
[01:03:15] You don't know what past means.
[01:03:16] That's how much of a non-comic you are.
[01:03:18] No dude.
[01:03:19] I'm going to Bushwick.
[01:03:20] You don't know the terms.
[01:03:21] You don't have a seat at the table where no gay men or trans women are allowed.
[01:03:25] That's right.
[01:03:26] Okay.
[01:03:27] Well, I'm just saying like there are no trans women at also.
[01:03:31] Yeah.
[01:03:32] Go listen to that cave.
[01:03:33] They cave calm or not cave comedy comedy.
[01:03:36] Comedy seller podcast with brand with guy on there.
[01:03:39] What a fucking embarrassment.
[01:03:41] What did you just you just had?
[01:03:43] No, not a single fucking point.
[01:03:48] Were they mean to him?
[01:03:49] No.
[01:03:50] They just not as mean as they could have been.
[01:03:52] They just weren't they weren't friends with them.
[01:03:54] They trashed them in a fucking in a publication.
[01:03:57] Yeah.
[01:03:58] I mean, he like slandered the fucking club basically.
[01:04:00] Yeah, with no complete bullshit.
[01:04:01] It was a metaphor.
[01:04:03] How about I say this?
[01:04:04] There's a problem with with there's a guy in Los Angeles who's going around raping people.
[01:04:10] His name's Guy Branham and then when he says you can't call me a rapist, I say, well, you
[01:04:15] are a metaphor.
[01:04:16] Mm-hmm.
[01:04:17] You know, you represent.
[01:04:18] Yep.
[01:04:19] He has a guy Branham.
[01:04:20] Yep.
[01:04:21] A guy who raves.
[01:04:22] That's right.
[01:04:23] You know, I'm not saying you do, but you represent.
[01:04:25] Right.
[01:04:26] It's like that.
[01:04:27] I'm just going to use your exact name.
[01:04:29] Yeah.
[01:04:30] Yeah.
[01:04:31] Yeah.
[01:04:32] Fuck.
[01:04:33] Yeah, I think that is pretty.
[01:04:35] Anyway, yeah, everyone.
[01:04:37] So, uh, shots out come see us and we'll, we'll, we'll talk to you next, you know, motherfucking
[01:04:43] Wednesday.
[01:04:44] You catch me at, um, clubs all over New York.
[01:04:47] Can't catch Adam.
[01:04:49] Thank you for coming to Cyber, by the way.
[01:04:50] What a fucking show.
[01:04:52] Everyone, you're, you're, thank you for everyone come out.
[01:04:54] Oh, and thanks for buying Stuyves' Golden Angels T-shirts on sale online soon.
[01:04:58] You guys want to get some gingerbread cookies after this?
[01:05:00] I got a real in the bro.
[01:05:02] You got a real in the bro.
[01:05:03] Yeah, I'm done.
[01:05:04] But I'll call hang a little bit.
[01:05:05] Yeah, a little latte, some gingerbread cookies.
[01:05:06] I'll get a, I'll get a latte.
[01:05:07] Yeah.
[01:05:08] I get some pumpkin spice.
[01:05:09] I was too.
[01:05:10] I did, I did, I did all those Frankenheimer movies on film struck.
[01:05:13] Oh, yeah.
[01:05:14] Burberry caster sucks.
[01:05:15] Who?
[01:05:16] I'd seen, I'd seen Birdman of Alcatraz years ago and I liked that movie.
[01:05:19] But I watched, I watched all those other Lanecaster Frankenheimer movies.
[01:05:21] Does he, does he have wings, the Birdman of Alcatraz?
[01:05:24] Yeah, well he plays Birdman.
[01:05:25] Nice.
[01:05:26] So he's, he's like sodomizing little Wayne.
[01:05:28] Yeah.
[01:05:29] What happened to that boy?
[01:05:30] Don't you understand little Wayne?
[01:05:32] I just want to fuck you.
[01:05:33] Have you guys, I just want to put your dick inside of my mouth and fuck you.
[01:05:37] Have you watched any of the Castlevedy movies on, uh, Bob?
[01:05:41] You should watch it.
[01:05:42] Do that's the Greek American hero.
[01:05:43] That's right.
[01:05:44] I have.
[01:05:45] I don't care.
[01:05:46] You don't like it?
[01:05:47] I didn't care for it.
[01:05:48] It's like proto mumblecore bullshit.
[01:05:51] It's not proto, not at all.
[01:05:52] Yeah, it is.
[01:05:53] Are you serious?
[01:05:54] What movie?
[01:05:55] Wait, cause people talk at the same time?
[01:05:56] What movie?
[01:05:57] Well they, well that's how people, that's how life is.
[01:05:59] Yeah, exactly.
[01:06:00] But that's not how fucking fictional, yeah.
[01:06:03] That's what I want to watch is two hours of people talking over each other and using
[01:06:07] the wrong words.
[01:06:08] Just like real.
[01:06:09] So you don't like Robert Almond?
[01:06:10] I, no, I mean there's plenty of old man.
[01:06:11] You don't like Robert Almond?
[01:06:12] I, I, Oldman doesn't do it to the same cast as me.
[01:06:15] Yes he does.
[01:06:16] That's his whole thing.
[01:06:17] He agrees of realism and dialogue.
[01:06:19] And it's what movie that Kesavetes make.
[01:06:21] Woman under the influence, opening night.
[01:06:23] Adam, see that's why Adam likes it because it's about women being drugged and raped.
[01:06:27] His favorite past.
[01:06:28] That movie is, is probably his best movie.
[01:06:31] Yo, every movie, you know, it wasn't raped in it.
[01:06:33] She's just losing her mind.
[01:06:35] Remember when there was like a bunch of movies about, again, on record saying he doesn't
[01:06:39] believe women when they say they were crazy dudes fucked up.
[01:06:42] She never said she remember, remember, remember how it led lots of movies had like love potions.
[01:06:46] That's just roofing.
[01:06:47] Yeah, that's magic roofies, dude.
[01:06:50] I was laughing about, you know, this is why I need feminism pictures for episode four.
[01:06:55] But like a, it's like a big fat Chinese girl with like a swollen face holding one of those
[01:06:59] why I need feminism signs.
[01:07:01] And then it says, but nobody fought my pussy.
[01:07:04] As you say, crying.
[01:07:06] I thought that would be a pretty good character.
[01:07:09] That's a good one, man.
[01:07:10] Hey, it's not as good as a.
[01:07:12] Rain queefing.
[01:07:17] Backboard shattered.
[01:07:20] Oh, all right, everyone.
[01:07:25] Goodbye.
[01:07:26] Bye.
[01:07:27] Bye.
[01:07:28] Bye.
[01:07:29] Bye.