Cum Town | Premium | 02/26/2018
[00:00:05] What would they be? What would we tank call?
[00:00:07] The pussy the asshole the mouth the ear the other ear the nostril the other nostril and where like eight
[00:00:19] Please tick out my ass to kill. I love getting my asshole to cow
[00:00:27] It done staked flexed. I got a tight sphincter flexed permanently
[00:00:36] That means champion warrior Wu Tang yes, the sex warriors
[00:00:42] Yes, Japanese style cut your dick off with a sword my dick's real small, but I got a sword. Yeah Wu Tang
[00:00:49] Killer bees son. That's his son. Hey son. Tell him what's good. I
[00:00:53] Don't know. I can't 36 chambers. Yeah, 36 chambers. I wish I was I could freestyle so that'd be good
[00:01:00] Yeah, sometimes when I get really high I can freestyle sometimes I get really high again racist
[00:01:05] Yes, what's what I mean when I say freestyle? I mean I get high and I scream obscenities. Yeah, that's the N word
[00:01:11] Hmm some other some other classic the M. Word sort of the Coca-Cola classic of this you know you just enjoy it
[00:01:25] No, I don't know. I wasn't even included. I was thinking in terms of Pepsi products at large
[00:01:30] You know so you go and word is Coca-Cola of course sprite is
[00:01:37] I guess you know what I guess the answer here is I love soda
[00:01:41] And then they do this they do the thing for grapes
[00:01:44] So you go outside here in Astoria and you say all the slurs at once and it's called doing a suicide
[00:01:53] You will get jumped that's right. We're back in Astoria this time. We're in the sex
[00:01:57] The sex stavros is sex chambers the 30 sex chambers
[00:02:02] I'm lounging on my damn bed where I've had sex with lots of women and Nick is on Elvis's office chair
[00:02:08] Which we rolled in from his room. He is still in Paris. All this is in London now. Where's my chair?
[00:02:18] That's right eldest does make beats, you know, I was gonna steal eldest's mini keyboard
[00:02:22] No, I don't do that. I got my own but I was gonna take his that's good
[00:02:27] You know that's me smash and grab that's right. Someone lets you into their home tactical
[00:02:33] You steal the roommates powerfully tactical I get that you know
[00:02:37] It's just from my time in the military. I can't I get it man. I know so you can't turn that switch off
[00:02:42] You know, it's like really my mini keyboard go like yeah, Nick took it. He's like why you know, he's a veteran. Yeah
[00:02:51] PTSD probably taking shit don't belong to me
[00:02:56] Mine is pussy taste super delicious. I prefer to take shit that doesn't belong
[00:03:10] I was just describing the symptoms now. I wasn't doing the letters anymore. Okay
[00:03:14] Speaking of buying shit shout out to everybody that's made the the grand opening of the cum dot town
[00:03:20] Store a success. I know the prices are I know you're being gouged
[00:03:26] But hey, you know drop shipping you got to have
[00:03:30] You know the margins are so small. You got a ripie really fucking rip people off
[00:03:33] So if you're the guy that spent sixty nine dollars on the gayest kid in school backpack salute to you my friend
[00:03:41] Pray we got if you you come to a show. I will sign
[00:03:45] My name stops name Adams name. I will sign Adam's Social Security number. That's right directly on the backpack
[00:03:51] For you, and I will sign my name in your asshole with my tongue. That's a promise
[00:03:58] That's cool. You remember when people are like, you know how you get a girl off? You'd spell the alphabet on your pussy
[00:04:03] Yeah, that's lazy to me. Yeah, I eat pussy from the heart. I don't need a fucking I don't need a fucking, you know
[00:04:09] Step-by-step guy. Yeah, what do you follow a system? Absolutely? I close my eyes. I'm a yeah
[00:04:13] I'm gonna I'm on a cliff. I'm an artist with wind blowing through my hair because when I close my eyes
[00:04:18] I have long beautiful hair. Yeah, you know you wear the pussy hair like
[00:04:26] Made out of all the pussy hairs of all the women out whose pushes I've ever eaten every time it grows larger
[00:04:33] Giant beautiful fro that'd be like a cool. That'd be a cool way to pick up girls. It's like hey girl
[00:04:38] I know you think I'm bald, but I actually lost all my hair eating pussy
[00:04:42] Other pussies I'm eating pussy at this I break the sound I lost my teeth same thing
[00:04:58] Support a movie where a woman has never done anything wrong
[00:05:02] But it's so funny cuz Tonya Harding is a horrible person and they make it look pretty cool in there
[00:05:07] Yeah, she was in on the plot 100% realize I don't know anything about that story and I really don't get it
[00:05:12] I was kind of annoyed that they made that any time there's like a trend, you know, I'm bucket, you know
[00:05:17] And that's cool of you. Yeah, dude. I'm so you're telling me what's what's popular you go the other way I go the other way
[00:05:25] But not all this like the 90s true crime stuff
[00:05:28] It's like, you know, it's just annoying when like it was the entertainment industry will hit it out of the point
[00:05:33] They've always done this so hit out of the park with one thing and they're like, oh, that's it
[00:05:36] That's got it. Let's fucking let's just just beat this thing to death, right?
[00:05:39] I mean, you know, that's the OJ doc was good as hell
[00:05:44] I mean they've done it was like look at all the fucking Marvel movies and it's because it was spider-man
[00:05:48] Spider-man was really good. No, it wasn't even that good. No the first spider-man. It was not good. It was great with Toby McGuire
[00:05:54] I don't remember being that good. Yeah, I remember being good. No, dude. Yeah, your dick is actually small was not good
[00:06:00] No Batman begins. It was retard. That's why that's why that's first of all. That's DC second of all
[00:06:06] It's not that's why all the shit came back around. That's why everything was doing because a Batman begins hell. Yeah, dude
[00:06:11] Spider-man, you're right Spider-man was the first one to like kind of get it
[00:06:16] Marvel blockbuster that wasn't a complete piece of shit X-Men came out first and X-Men kind of sucks
[00:06:21] Yeah, but it's still cool because everyone loved the X-Men
[00:06:26] Maybe I'm just talking from personal experience
[00:06:28] But when I when I saw a spider-man in theaters
[00:06:30] I was like that was perfect and I remember thinking like oh, they should just do this
[00:06:34] I mean, this is like such an easy formula
[00:06:36] So I guess I was kind of complicit in that because they the studios read my thoughts. Oh my god. It's actually wait
[00:06:42] How do you buck a trend if you started it?
[00:06:45] at the time people thought superhero movies were bad because they had made a bunch of bad ones so I was being I was you know
[00:06:54] The beat neck thing to do back then. Yes. Yes like those movies. You were that guy who all who wrote Jack Kerouac
[00:07:01] You were Jack Kerouac Jack off a wack Jack off a man on the load
[00:07:14] I don't support I tiny because the villain is made out to be a fat man and that's just that's against our communities
[00:07:20] Not really the villain. Yes. He is make the husband at the back
[00:07:23] They kind of a nancy karrigan out to be the villain because she didn't enjoy the Olympics
[00:07:28] Yeah, that's the final note in the movie is like, you know, I may have contracted to have that bitch almost killed
[00:07:35] But I'll tell you what I came in 35th place because I'm a sociopathic, you know drunk, but
[00:07:43] She got silver and she wasn't freaking smiling
[00:07:51] Oh, yeah, I think freaking laser beends. Yeah, how about you don't
[00:07:59] I saw a blessing Sadie. I guess Sadie got in trouble. Did she yeah for what?
[00:08:06] For the shark not putting the shark that was a fun episode remember we did that yeah
[00:08:11] Yeah, you want to run that back real quick?
[00:08:13] What woke bastard? Oh, yeah, there was a lot of good shit on the Australian retard
[00:08:19] Oh, yes a classic. Yeah, that's back when we you know we podcasted for the love of it
[00:08:25] Not just a petal gayest kid in school back
[00:08:33] Dude, I'm gonna become a backpack million. I love that dude. I know I love that idea
[00:08:37] Yeah, I love it because it has nothing to do with come down
[00:08:48] Kid in school not even like a spin-off of a riff. Yeah, I fucked up the lettering too. I made it like all scratchy and shitty
[00:09:00] Salud baby salud hey, how about this though?
[00:09:21] That's about you what yeah, oh I started doing that I know
[00:09:25] Why because that's about my song about being gay. I guess you're right. Thanks, man. I guess you're right
[00:09:31] I shouldn't be doing that. I was laughing the other day about a movie, you know, you've seen rear window
[00:09:35] Right, of course, so it's queer window, and it's just an old handicap guy that's homophobic and his
[00:09:41] To get guys across the street to keep fucking each other in front of the window and he keeps calling the police
[00:09:47] That was fucking queers it doing it again
[00:09:51] All right, mr. McDougall, please stop calling us
[00:09:55] I've got a way to see I'm gonna stop I'm gonna stop him
[00:09:59] Then they come over to his place and they have sex in his apartment what at the end
[00:10:04] What the fuck how does that happen? I don't know. That's how rear window ends really actually you know what and I know people
[00:10:10] Are gonna get all my case for this, but I've never seen the original real rear window
[00:10:18] The Christopher Reeves, oh, yes that came out right after his accident where they're like we got to find something to
[00:10:24] Put him in besides live-action Pinocchio where he's just a marionette
[00:10:29] Was that real yeah, he's in a rear window remake. No, it was the Pinocchio. Was he a marionette? Oh, no
[00:10:38] We ended Bernie's starring Christopher Reeves
[00:10:45] Yeah, that's so funny plays Uma Thurman's character in the paralyzed scene in the
[00:10:50] In kill bill. Oh, yeah, he's the one that gets fucked by Chuck. Yeah. Yeah, my name is book and I'm here to fuck
[00:10:56] I used to be Superman. I'm fully caught my head is fully
[00:11:03] He's just getting fucked and he can't feel it. He just feels the back of his head slightly moving up and down against the pillow behind them
[00:11:16] Please stop I was friends with Robin Williams. Isn't that weird? I was I mean Robin Williams went to Juilliard together or something
[00:11:23] I was the reason people didn't like superhero movies for 20 years
[00:11:34] But your soul feels it. It's a Danny Glover is his guardian angel. That was ass. You're so feel it, don't it?
[00:11:42] Just because your body can't feel it. Don't mean you're so can't feel that
[00:11:47] Yeah, but he's now he's a guardian angel
[00:12:09] He's explaining like that's how you know guys real
[00:12:13] Son cuz you might not be able to feel your asshole
[00:12:17] Get a stretch that body see a toothless janitor
[00:12:24] It's so fear you so feel every drop of nut in there go ahead ask him how many squares he did a
[00:12:31] Bit as far in you knew in your heart. It was four squares not three not five yet
[00:12:37] You felt four pulses in the soul and that's how many times he nutted he tossed four little ropes
[00:12:44] Right up in your cold loose broken asshole
[00:12:50] Please stop please stop narrating my rape
[00:12:57] Yeah, can you please stop this from happening I got next I'm sorry
[00:13:02] I used up all my magic making sure a pizza got delivered to my other client within 30 minutes
[00:13:08] I know that seems like a waste of my angel powers, but he really wanted that pizza
[00:13:16] Fuck what else the Chris Chris was Chris reason other movies all I know him from the Superman
[00:13:20] He must have had like a big career right wasn't he like a famous guy? I think he played the dog in the mask
[00:13:28] That may have been a Jack Russell Terrier. No, I'm pretty sure it was him
[00:13:32] I was he was friends with Robert Williams though. Didn't they go like acting school together?
[00:13:37] Um, it's what I thought did they think so if Rob Williams into acting school. Oh, that's why he's in all these movies
[00:13:43] Yeah, what the fuck I was hoping that error would come back where you got to just be like kind of a shitty
[00:13:48] Comedian for a while and then they let you be like a famous movie star
[00:13:51] Dollars, but you couldn't be good at comp you'd have to be weirdly good at comedy like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams
[00:13:58] Yeah, that's true. I guess Kevin Kevin Hart did that shit. That's true
[00:14:01] I was I was hoping maybe me and you would get to be in like
[00:14:06] Ocean's six nine oceans eight is the guys that have sex with it the ocean ladies. Oh, that's good
[00:14:12] Oh, oh cuz ocean six is coming up oceans eight is coming out or it already did but it was you know people
[00:14:19] You know when it came out. I don't know
[00:14:21] I feel like I feel like oceans eight was coming out and people are like the girl power
[00:14:25] But they kind of blew that load already and then black panther came out people are like oh, yeah
[00:14:30] Nobody gives a shit about women right right back there
[00:14:33] The fellas that's what we want to see is fellas black fellas
[00:14:37] Black Panther rocked I saw it and I went at 11 a.m. Matt nay, and I was like this would be great
[00:14:43] Like everyone's it'll be fucking empty and it was nothing but school field trips
[00:14:47] Just lazy ass teachers being like yep, this is learning going to see black pant lazy ass teachers
[00:14:53] Yeah, I'm tired of these lazy ass. I am too man
[00:14:58] Taking kids to see fucking black panther on a school day
[00:15:01] I'm supposed to be there and then they're just like it's that same teacher next week is like daddy's home to it's in a very
[00:15:09] These kids need to know that there's daddy's to come home sometimes
[00:15:13] It's important for children without a father figure in the home to have multiple of them for of them will Ferrell Mark Wallberg
[00:15:20] John Lithgow, I think Izzy I only watched the first ten minutes of daddy's home, too. It was funny though. Yeah, you said that yeah
[00:15:31] young man who was moaning throughout the movie and the little kids the young oh I thought you meant in daddy's home to like
[00:15:38] That was a character in the movie. It's like a mongoloid. That's like
[00:15:43] That's exactly exactly what the guy sounded if that had happened. I'd be like comedy's coming back
[00:15:47] And all the little kids were laughing at him and it was you know kind of fucked up with them if I think yeah, you know
[00:15:56] That's my guess now. I guess we know the obvious answer is that the next movie to come out needs to be retarded panther
[00:16:02] Oh, yeah, yeah, I think that we already had it, you know, they did the gay version that movie like 50 years ago
[00:16:23] Yeah, that movie's about a spy that has to suck off guys to get secrets, right?
[00:16:27] Yeah, by the way, I would be so susceptible if there was a sexy I've seen commercials for that Jennifer Lawrence movie where she's like a sexy Russian
[00:16:35] Lady who like fucks to get secrets or whatever. What are you talking about bread scarlet something bread bread scarlet?
[00:16:45] Something scarlet bread no no red red Phoenix or some shit red bread no, she's like a Russian bitch
[00:16:54] And she's like a double agent or something, but it's a bread no no red. Oh red. Oh
[00:17:02] And I guess the plot is she's a secret agent and she fucks for secrets and
[00:17:10] Immediately if a hot girl wanted to fuck me. I would give them to her. Oh, I mean I
[00:17:14] People tell me secrets and I just immediately go tell everyone
[00:17:18] Regardless of getting of the thing is people understand is like I'm a storyteller sure. I love telling stories
[00:17:27] I love any any kind of juicy details gossip tidbits. It's not that I'm trying to fuck you over as a friend
[00:17:35] Mm-hmm, you know and I need to read nobody will publish anything I say so I have to just repeat
[00:17:40] Things you say to me in confidence to as many people as many people as possible specifically the people you don't want knowing about
[00:17:46] Mmm interesting, you know, so give us an example like let's say someone told you I
[00:17:56] Family no, let's say someone told you they fucked they cheated on the girlfriend
[00:18:01] Would you tell who would you tell right away? Oh?
[00:18:05] Yeah, I wouldn't yeah, I wouldn't do that shit where you you know tell the girlfriend sure obviously
[00:18:10] I would use that information to have sex with their girl
[00:18:14] Which is signed court serve like telling sure yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know if I would do that
[00:18:20] No, you wouldn't in fact. I think I would be on the man's side as a matter of principle
[00:18:25] Oh, how about this woman cheats on her boyfriend? What are you doing that situation? I then I also try to fuck the woman
[00:18:32] Because she's already cheated one that's true. They're all yes. She's a whore clearly. Yeah, well, they're all hoars
[00:18:38] I was reading this book. Yeah, it was saying to have their all horse. I was watching this Jordan Peterson video
[00:18:43] Yes, exactly Norman Norman likes Jordan Peterson. He sent me he sent me this video where Jordan Peterson goes
[00:18:55] and you know, I mean there's a theory that
[00:19:03] Over exposure to testosterone in the world
[00:19:17] Yeah, that's exactly what it is. You know those jacked autism thing is like I don't really fuck with Jordan Peterson
[00:19:24] But his whole thing is like, you know, let's call things what they are
[00:19:29] You know, yeah, he sounds like air slowly leaking out of a already like weak old balloon
[00:19:39] You know three days after the birthday party. Yeah, yeah, yeah after the after your infant died
[00:19:45] The day after its birthday and you left the balloons on the floor
[00:19:50] Efficiency apartment you pick up one of those balloons and you slowly with the air out
[00:19:59] But this whole thing is like, you know, let's call a spade a spade or whatever
[00:20:04] You know, right none of this piece in its I actually autistic people are hyper masculine right right right is
[00:20:10] Yeah, the people that sit around watching
[00:20:14] television shows for four-year-old girls
[00:20:19] That it will be permanently dependent on their mother and can never leave home
[00:20:22] Wait, is that autistic? What's that? Is that autistic? Oh, yeah people that are like brownies. That's all it is
[00:20:29] Mm-hmm. Okay, you bet your ass. Okay autistic is a little less bad
[00:20:35] Or it's not as you know debilitating or whatever is
[00:20:46] Is he rise is Jordan Peterson autistic? I mean, I wouldn't think so but after he said that maybe yeah
[00:20:54] Actually, autistic people have very big dicks. Yeah, they're actually the guys that fuck the most
[00:21:12] Here at the University of Canada I ran a study that says that if your dick is under four inches
[00:21:21] And that if your dick is over eight that it's small
[00:21:28] Autistic retard with a four inch dick you're actually the smartest most fuckable guy in the world
[00:21:35] And if women don't have sex with you, they should be in jail
[00:21:44] Whoo mr. Peterson thank you. There's Peterson question
[00:21:47] But from the audience what about my dick how does this look to you smaller than mine? I don't need to look at it
[00:22:02] Hell yeah, Canada's foremost scholar on getting pussy
[00:22:05] Jordan Peterson. I was just about to say that I was just in Canada, but I wasn't I was in Boston
[00:22:13] Have you you've been to Canada before you went to Montreal. What's the northern most you've ever been probably Montreal?
[00:22:22] Yeah, I've never been to Canada Montreal
[00:22:26] I was thinking about buying property in Alaska. Yeah, you you were on that Alaska tip for a while
[00:22:30] Yeah, well, there's no property tax. You can just buy it and sit on it
[00:22:35] That's what you did with my dick earlier today. I did at what
[00:22:37] I wish we had record scratch sound that would be good
[00:22:43] We could get sound effects we could I just need to bring that MIDI keyboard and the computer setup and then no
[00:22:49] I got the little I got the dongle I could do Tim Allen, you know, I was laughing the I woke up the other morning imagining a
[00:22:56] version of home improvement where Tim Allen's like
[00:23:02] But in that same like kind of voice. Yeah, and then Joe's like Tim
[00:23:08] Was there ever a single black person on improvement never once never never in a single episode
[00:23:15] Did they ever have a black person on the show and you can look it up. I guarantee you that's the truth. I
[00:23:21] Feel like I feel like I remember a black guy wearing a tool belt, but yeah
[00:23:24] I just I think it's just a guy from the office. No, you're just remembering a time you went to Home Depot. Yeah, you're right. Yeah
[00:23:40] I make every time I make every time I my dick goes in a pussy is it?
[00:23:48] Actually, actually every time I come every time I come it sounds like the weekend singing. Yeah
[00:23:57] Jordan Peterson he puts his dick in a girl and he's like she's like is it in yet?
[00:24:00] And then he's like shut up and he starts punching her in the face and then she's like are you punching me in the face?
[00:24:05] Are you punching me yet? It's my man married was Jay Peterson up to what's that? Do you get pussy?
[00:24:23] Does JP get pussy? I don't know. I don't really know anything about Jordan Peterson other than
[00:24:29] Somebody somebody came up to me. I found out about him like a year ago
[00:24:33] Somebody came up to me and they're like do you Jordan Peterson is and I was like no they were like you would love him also
[00:24:40] Yeah, and I'm like which means I wouldn't yeah, yeah, yeah because again nobody knows the real me
[00:24:46] You know nobody has one people's zag you's egg. Yeah because people fig you
[00:24:51] You know I'm hard to people know my art, you know, they know the yes your heart the presentation I have
[00:24:58] But they don't know the real me that a man is in his art, you know, dude
[00:25:05] No blur. Oh, yeah, I love that you have this window so I can look at the horizon
[00:25:19] Intellectual what do you think of my plans dude? They look good. I just started doing bonsai. Oh, that's tight
[00:25:24] Yeah, but I got I got I got seeds so it's gonna. Oh you're gonna true. You're gonna grow them from fucking scratch
[00:25:29] Yeah, dude. I'm not adopting a plant. Yeah, why what like some woman with a broken pussy you think that's your child
[00:25:36] It's not look if you adopt kids. You're a fucking bitch
[00:25:40] Your fucking dick doesn't work your balls and your pussy or broken. Yeah, that's true. You can't have you can't make your own children
[00:25:48] I can't imagine being so much as a coward to adopt a child. Yep
[00:26:02] I want to actually adopt a child dude. I want to make one and I want to adopt one
[00:26:06] Yeah, I want to adopt a bunch of black kids just to take them to see black panther every single day
[00:26:10] For the rest of their lives and then they fail all the regions because I've just been taking them to
[00:26:14] subsequent viewings of black panther over and over again. They've never learned anything dad, please
[00:26:20] You're gonna sit here and watch space jam until you're Neil deGrasse Tyson
[00:26:31] That you're gonna watch every single fucking episode of Martin can I learn math please no
[00:26:36] You're gonna watch a version of Amadeus that I've color corrected to make Mozart black I
[00:26:47] Just want to read that I don't know what letters are
[00:26:56] The only letters I know are CRI from the gang
[00:27:00] From the hand side that would be a great character
[00:27:08] I mean an actual thing people do and a way to live your life is you adopt a black kid
[00:27:12] And you go around with like a bunch of like pan-Africanist clothes on oh, yeah
[00:27:17] Mean technically you do have a black child do I no no no I mean in that scenario. Oh, I just got worried for a second
[00:27:25] Ronaldo think Mullen. Yeah, what was your fake baby's name? Was that it that was it?
[00:27:33] I still can't believe how many does everyone that does I don't know we've talked about it
[00:27:37] But Nick when he first moved to Baltimore pretended to have a son on
[00:27:40] Twitter and Facebook and then like three days like people were like congratulating him and he did a couple bits about him
[00:27:47] And then I think you got tired of it. So you just said he died
[00:27:50] Yeah, and then you did an RIP book in a beer fire
[00:27:53] Yeah, he's not in a beer fire. I was posting on this bullshit about how I can't afford like a crib
[00:27:58] So he just sleeps in my like laundry basket
[00:28:04] And and you posted an RIP status and you used Jada kit was a jade kiss RIP who is it Jate? No, that's not you know
[00:28:12] That's uh, oh, RIP. We just killed the club. Yeah, that's GZ. That's right. That's right. Yes. Yes, you're using
[00:28:19] You posted RIP my beautiful son ran off
[00:28:30] And then like people I remember a couple different people came up to me personally were like hey, man
[00:28:36] I've been trying to reach Nick to give him I
[00:28:44] Oh, I'll be we just killed the club control not the cup almost killed a thug
[00:28:50] RIP RIP just listening to that song cuz your son died
[00:28:59] A little funeral a little bit. Yeah, no, I remember when we went to uh Tom iris's album recording
[00:29:04] Yes, and I saw him and I was like time you have any drink tickets, you know and he's like no
[00:29:10] They didn't they didn't comp any of my stuff. I mean he was like oh
[00:29:19] Like congratulations when you're having a son I was like, oh, thanks Tom
[00:29:29] Yeah, god damn it like you now would be a horrible father, but you then it's like yeah would be criminal negligence to have a child
[00:29:36] I would be so fucked up. Yeah, dude. Just living in that clown's house
[00:29:46] When your son sharing a three bedroom with a raped army clown his ex wife his drunk as his ex wife in the other bedroom
[00:29:56] Wow foreshadowing dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. That shit was so funny
[00:30:01] I'm mad up with her. It was that night. I did Magoobies and then like blacked out
[00:30:07] I had to sleep in your brother's room. Yes, and then I was still drunk when I woke up
[00:30:11] So I was like oh, it just dropped me off at the shopping center, and I'll just kill eight and a half hours there
[00:30:19] Yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah, I'll sit in McDonald's for eight and a half hours
[00:30:25] You drop me off there cuz you're gonna white Mars for work yes and
[00:30:28] And after like back when I was a fucking paralegal 40 minutes of sitting at McDonald's like knowing I was just gonna
[00:30:35] Throw up if I didn't you know get more alcohol in the right whatever
[00:30:39] I called her and then she came and picked me up in a zip car. Hell yeah, and it's better disability money at the liquor store
[00:30:47] And then we went back to her place and she's like yeah, I'm still trying to get my kid back I
[00:30:52] Remember the time you spinning it as like hey, there's people worse than me
[00:30:59] Yeah, like dude, it's pretty nice knowing some people I was like fuck I'm a fucking drunk dude
[00:31:05] I'm like just a complete fuck up, but then I hung out with her and was like I guess I'm okay
[00:31:09] Dude, there was a pepper your step for a week after hang out with her
[00:31:12] God damn well damn I love Baltimore man. I really do I
[00:31:22] Want to go back and just buy a buy a house and make it a fucking a fortress dude
[00:31:27] Yeah, have gun turrets on it. That'd be cool. I've ever went away
[00:31:31] Yeah, I want to buy like three houses and make them knock all the walls down in between them and make one big
[00:31:36] We should all buy we should buy a studio for down there. I would love to do let's do it
[00:31:40] I can I got the cash for that right now. What's fucking do it?
[00:31:43] I'd go the thing is if I bought property there. I want to buy commercial property so that I could use it for like
[00:31:50] Where housing and shit there's probably shit you could like
[00:31:53] That's boat you could do both. Yeah. Yeah for sure
[00:31:59] Depending on the neighborhood to yeah, dude. I want a little fuck it because it would be cool to have a little spot down there
[00:32:05] Go down be more get my nuts licked. I'm thinking about buying a house there too if I can save enough money this year
[00:32:09] Yeah, why don't you just pay off your parents your parents have a mortgage? It's paid off
[00:32:14] I was gonna say you do that and you can lord it over them. No, I don't want anything to do with my twist your parents arms
[00:32:19] Yeah, you say listen to me you fucking asshole. Yeah
[00:32:24] Invict my father and mother you can feel that dick in your ass, don't you?
[00:32:30] That's the dick of your heart. That's your at your heart's ass
[00:32:34] He's not just fucking your ass son son feel listen to your heart and listen to your heart's asshole
[00:32:47] You hear that's the sound of your heart getting raped
[00:32:53] Is my dad gonna come back shut the fuck up bitch shut up bitch. I'm trying to manage this beach ball team
[00:33:03] Can only do two things manage baseball teams and make pizza show up on time
[00:33:10] Is that even an angels power are you just a delivery?
[00:33:16] Man ages in the outfield what a fucked up movie right now
[00:33:19] I'm my favorite part about that movie is like first of all the ridiculous premise
[00:33:23] I love it that a man can give his son up it for adoption at 12
[00:33:26] I know I know a fully formed like human
[00:33:30] Yeah, right it's like a year or two because he doesn't want to go to Home Depot and get house keys made so the boy
[00:33:36] Can let him in in by himself after school was that it was that what started it?
[00:33:41] Yeah, the movie starts in the dad played by like Dermott Mulroney or some shit is like
[00:33:47] I'm gonna go ride my motor. Yeah, I thought he was going on like a motor
[00:33:50] He's going on a motorcycle tour and he can't bring his son with him
[00:33:58] The son has to go live in a in a foster home
[00:34:02] And then at the end of the movie, you know, he's like well
[00:34:05] He's like dad will we ever be a family again and the dad's like yeah, maybe if the angels win the pennant, you know
[00:34:11] Which is like so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know to
[00:34:18] Yeah, because the angels suck dick right that's the whole point right yeah, and and
[00:34:25] Yeah, right you fucking idiot. Maybe you learn how to fucking dunk a basketball you child. Yeah, right
[00:34:29] He's like they're in year zero of a 35 year rebuild. I would not have to worry about this at all
[00:34:38] And then yeah, the angels win the pennant and
[00:34:43] And then he's like dad can we be a family again? He's like no no fuck you you're gay
[00:34:47] He's like I'm gonna I'm gonna Welsh on that bet
[00:34:49] I've been getting so much pussy on the road on this motorcycle
[00:34:52] Well, anyways, my favorite part is at the end when like Danny Glover like comes to this on or the main kid
[00:34:58] And he's like pack up your shit. I'm taking out of this fucking shit hole
[00:35:02] I'm gonna be your dad now and then the black kid who he's friends with just starts crying in the background
[00:35:08] And he's like oh boy. I get to be adopted by a man. I've been friends with for I don't know a baseball season
[00:35:15] Yeah, yeah, seven months. Yeah, right? This is this old black man
[00:35:22] Instead of like the nice matronly white woman that only had like two kids in her ward and she seemed fine
[00:35:28] Yeah, yeah, you know, why how is it that he has zero relationship with her? I know anyways
[00:35:34] So you I'm gonna be your dad now and then the black kid starts crying and he's like wait
[00:35:39] I don't know if I could leave Anthony behind he's like oh oh
[00:35:42] Oh, yeah, I guess I'll adopt him. Yeah, we didn't know him at all. Yeah, he's like boy. Just ads on. He's like yeah
[00:35:50] Listen, I'm gonna rape both of these yeah
[00:35:53] Well, it's like so funny cuz it's like he just let that boy cry thinking yeah
[00:35:59] It's gonna be his best friend. Yeah, I get adopted. Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh
[00:36:05] That movie used to always be on in my at my doctor's office either that or Fern Gully. Yeah, and
[00:36:11] What I remember from Fern Gully is that I used to love Fern Gully
[00:36:15] When I was you know that that little fucking Tinkerbell knockoff type bitch was sexy shit. Uh-huh. That's what I remember from
[00:36:22] Gully. Yeah a little two-piece. Yeah, kind of like a furry bikini type Tim Curry is the bad guy is pollution. He rules man
[00:36:29] Tim Curry knocks everything out of the park. Yeah
[00:36:31] Except doesn't he have some fucked up disease now
[00:36:33] Um, you can't like really move he's in like a little chair part early MS or something
[00:36:38] I don't know. It sucks dude living sucks the world. Everyone dies or gets fucking sick of shit. Yeah, dude
[00:36:44] That's why you gotta you know, you may think it's life is gay as you may think it's stupid
[00:36:49] But if I could be serious for a moment like a lot of you guys probably spend a lot of time depressed or whatever
[00:36:53] And it's like you just need to like bite the bullet
[00:36:58] Do the things that it's gonna make you happy because you're gonna look back on your life and you're gonna say
[00:37:02] What was I happier with that sixty nine dollars? It ended up having to go to child support anyways
[00:37:07] Or a fun backpack, right that I could not give to my son who I'm not allowed to see
[00:37:14] Hey, maybe what you want is a t-shirt with a naked me and my butt cheeks out
[00:37:19] Those are their starving golden angels tease out there now too, baby by some of those fuck
[00:37:24] I forgot I gotta go to the post office after this and mail off all those shirts. Oh fuck
[00:37:28] That's gonna be men. I'm so glad I figured out a way to not have to do fulfillment myself
[00:37:32] Sucks dick if you're one of the 38 people that got a shirt
[00:37:36] I'm on my way to the post office today or well. I guess yesterday. It's Saturday
[00:37:41] Hopefully they're not closed by that move but I gotta reconcile man
[00:37:44] I had like one guy that's like send everything I send a pay pal he pays and he's like oh by the way
[00:37:49] That's the wrong zip code. Here's the right one and it's not even close
[00:37:53] Why I don't know how you fuck that up fulfillment sucks. Yeah, and it's like
[00:37:57] Yeah, yeah, let me see what time these motherfuckers close. Oh, they're closed. Oh post office closed already. Yeah, perfect
[00:38:08] Well there's your answer I guess it's going out Monday
[00:38:14] There's one right here too, that's like sorry, dude. Yeah, well, I'm glad I took a lift here then instead of just fucking biking
[00:38:20] That's fucking gay as shit. Yeah, I just wasted $30 then again. This is like another cost of like right that off, baby
[00:38:28] But I mean you don't make any money selling fucking merch. I know you know I thought like oh well
[00:38:33] I do everything myself the margins to be higher. They're really not yeah
[00:38:37] Did you suck you just have to do more work and yeah?
[00:38:39] I mean they're like a dollar higher and you worked like fuck you know 10 hours or some shit
[00:38:44] Yeah, and working sucks my hog. That's my that's what I think anyway working does suck
[00:38:50] Who I just had a hot flash really I think I'm gonna do menopause. Yeah, I'm going to menopause
[00:38:54] Let me see your pussy is dried up it is hold on. Whoa, dude. That's a very dry
[00:39:02] Does that feel better sounds like your mouth is dry also
[00:39:05] Does it feel better? What if you went to your mouth the pause and you weren't able to know what's happening here, too
[00:39:11] Yeah, yeah by the way, we didn't speak about it
[00:39:14] But I bit down too hard on a chicken wing with my fucked up tooth and now I can't eat with the right side of my mouth
[00:39:21] So yeah, it looks like it's gonna come out anytime literally
[00:39:26] There's a hole between my tooth and my gum right now
[00:39:29] There's a hole in the middle I could squirt stop mouth looks like you know
[00:39:32] Like a cartoon gets fucking hit in the face of the sledgehammer and then they like smile and it's like a piano
[00:39:41] So I'm gonna be I'm gonna be going to the dentist
[00:39:45] 330 on Monday and we have funny moms that night and
[00:39:48] And maybe I'll be fucked up. Yeah, I'm gonna smoke a cigar
[00:39:53] Do you want to yeah, maybe I'll leave these you know
[00:39:56] I'm gonna leave these shirts here and then I'll just bike up here and then do because I don't want to have to take a lift back
[00:40:01] How are you getting back? I'm gonna take the train. Yeah, okay?
[00:40:04] I'm gonna take the train back leave the shirts here bike up here do the post office shit tomorrow or Monday again, okay?
[00:40:14] God damn I gotta take a huge dump to know is that worth it?
[00:40:18] It's worth it to not take another lift. It'll save me $35 if I take a lift back home
[00:40:23] Why can't you take him on the train? I don't want to drag that huge bag on the train. I thought you were strong, dude
[00:40:29] I'm strong in short bursts, you know like I can fuck for like 30 seconds
[00:40:35] I can fuck for and it's the I call that the women's opportunity to come window
[00:40:45] You better get your shit off in that 30 seconds that I think I'm pleasuring you by
[00:40:51] Furious camera fucking as hard as I can
[00:40:54] Because that's what women like to be just vigorously
[00:41:03] Yeah, sometimes they really like a nice hard-dicking. Yeah, you know, which can be tough when you know
[00:41:11] You don't have the core strength to do that. You know or this or the aerobic stamina. Yeah
[00:41:17] Now I'm not talking about it more specifically. I
[00:41:20] Sometimes I think I don't think I would be strong enough to to have gay sex
[00:41:25] I feel like that's why those guys are all in shape. It's true. You got to be fucking strong. They're athletes, dude. Yeah fuck. I
[00:41:33] Couldn't keep unless of course unless of course you're fucking somebody that has a guardian angel. That's right
[00:41:40] That seems like it'd be pretty easy. I guess I would have to get fucked out of just necessity
[00:41:45] Yeah, cuz I couldn't do the fucking of a stall bear
[00:41:51] Mateo was talking about he was like I can't be a top. He was like there's so much pressure
[00:41:55] You know, it's like you're fucking someone the first time and it's like so much easier
[00:41:59] I was like damn I want to be a bottom with a woman. Is that possible?
[00:42:04] You literally just are on the bottom. I
[00:42:07] Guess that's true. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah
[00:42:11] Although sometimes it's yeah, I fell asleep one time on bottom
[00:42:16] Mm-hmm. Yeah, that girl was so upset though. Of course you
[00:42:26] She was like you fall asleep I was like
[00:42:38] Where is class dismissed I've never fallen asleep while getting fucked. Yeah, I've got fallen asleep while getting hit it's not
[00:42:49] Yeah, both falling asleep and waking up to head is not you know what I could see falling asleep to head
[00:42:54] What feels better than you as the best feeling is falling asleep while taking a shit?
[00:42:58] That has and you just collapse into the bathtub in the bathtub. No, you take the bathtub
[00:43:21] The boss that is just fucking split your balls into
[00:43:25] Showing my head in the garbage in the kitchen and then shitting inside the
[00:43:37] Pass out like that just with your dick in the garden
[00:43:44] I can get my feet up in the freezer and then I stick my ass in the vegetable crisper
[00:44:00] She's like what is it look like I'm trying to go to sleep bitch, okay?
[00:44:19] Yeah, nothing like that man the greatest feeling
[00:44:27] Oh man, this show is so much dumber without I know dude, but it gets me good
[00:44:31] Just the only thing out is your ass your head is fully in the sink your feet are in the freezer
[00:44:44] That we trim link down your balls and into a container of Greek yogurt my foot my abs hurt
[00:44:51] My powerful laughing abs. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw this I was in target the other day and they have this coffee
[00:44:57] Let me see if I can pull up the picture of this shit, you know, it's like all I look at the curry cups
[00:45:03] Yes, so the brands are like, you know eight o'clock coffee
[00:45:07] Green something yeah green pussy this one. I can't figure out for the fucking life of me. What this brand is
[00:45:14] Laughing man coffee man coffee company laughing man coffee company. It's a picture of a huge acumen and some black guy planting
[00:45:22] Is that huge? It's huge acumen. It says it because every purchase helps coffee farmers and then it's attributed to huge acumen
[00:45:28] Whoa sign the box. Yeah, so it's like his
[00:45:32] Newman's own brand curry cups called laughing man, which is is he known for laughing? I don't think so also like
[00:45:40] Every purchase helps car me for farmers. Yeah, it's fucking coffee. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing that's what yeah
[00:45:46] I guess it's a charity the money goes to somebody not involved like retarded people sure
[00:45:58] Yeah, that's true. It's probably a laughing
[00:46:01] Also this I mean the picture of the two of them it looks like they're about to have sex
[00:46:05] It does it is pretty emotionally charged sexually charged right it looks like they're about to for the first time have sex with each other
[00:46:11] Well, there's probably a lot of gay, you know, african coffee farmers that aren't allowed to be gay
[00:46:16] Yeah, and maybe that's what that's what they're laughing about you do like this gay below cow looks like they're on a plantation
[00:46:23] That's why you like it. I do you know what I
[00:46:28] The slavery aspect sure there are very beautiful places
[00:46:32] Yeah, but it's tough anytime you're in the south and you see something. It's named anything plantation that kind of overrides how beautiful it is
[00:46:39] Uh-huh. It's just like I don't know man. I don't feel comfortable there. Yeah, I know that it's like this is always like even that place soup plantation
[00:46:49] No, it's like a super chain really called soup plantation soup plantation. That's horrible. I don't get it
[00:46:56] We don't need to hear the word plantation anymore. Yeah, I don't like it anyways. No, it is a nice
[00:47:02] It's called something else. I would buy property down there where swamp Louisiana. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice
[00:47:10] I like the cover boats, you know, yeah getting the wrestling gators
[00:47:14] Come on getting sucked off in a fucking fan boat with a Hawaiian shirt flapping in the wind
[00:47:18] Yeah, I did better than that. You're right going to sleep
[00:47:27] You got your dick. We're getting slowly tapped by that fan that big fan on the back of the thing
[00:47:33] Oh, yeah, asshole directly in the freezer
[00:47:43] No, but you know what I want to play uh resident needle seven again never played it. It was great
[00:47:48] It just it was the one on game cube. No, it was when it came out last year. Oh didn't play it
[00:47:52] Yeah, the one on game cube though. You can buy that one
[00:47:55] I almost bought last night the uh HD remix of that
[00:47:59] The HD version for ps4. Hell yeah, dude, which I might replay that that game's fun too. That's a good one
[00:48:05] Get high shit scare yourself. Oh, yeah, that's the only one I played. Yeah, it was the only one I played until I played the
[00:48:11] Seven yeah, I want to get an emulator. I want to get all the Nintendo and game cube. I got that shit you do
[00:48:17] Yeah, I want to set up to my screen to my projector
[00:48:20] I can set all that shit up for you because they have they have a they have a uh, uh, a we emulator
[00:48:26] Ooh like works perfectly that ron actually works better than the actual we that fucking ron
[00:48:32] And then because those we things are bluetooth
[00:48:34] You can just pair them with you can get we remotes and pair them with the computer
[00:48:39] And then if you put like a six terabyte hard drive hook it up to it. You can just have every game cube in every we
[00:48:45] Right there. That's what i'm gonna do. I'm gonna do my old laptop
[00:48:48] Because I got I know you should get like a nice get like a better computer. You think so? Yeah get like a
[00:48:54] Um, I don't know like I'm I don't know if a macamini would still be good
[00:48:57] I don't want to advise you on that because I don't really know and I'm sure somebody would like DM me immediately saying I
[00:49:03] Recommended well someone tell me what to do guys. Yeah
[00:49:06] DM me and then also send me a picture of your titties. Yeah, if it's a woman, you know what to do
[00:49:14] Hyper masculine autistic. Yeah, the very masculine guys with big ass dicks
[00:49:20] They fucked the best according to jordan peterson
[00:49:24] Um or listen if you don't have tech advice and you just want to send me a picture of your titties. That is all so fine
[00:49:32] Now you should set that up. I'll come over. That'd be fun. I'll fucking play
[00:49:37] Uh, what's good? What would be good on that big ass projector
[00:49:40] I guess I think the tony hawk on game cube was fun. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah
[00:49:45] Elder sometimes shreds on the pia on the
[00:49:48] On the fucking tony hawk game on ps4, but it's not that good
[00:49:51] Yeah, the new tony hawk's apparently shit because when I got the ps4
[00:49:54] I was thinking about getting it but the reviews are like yeah, it's bad. Yeah, apparently it's garbage
[00:49:58] Was that game overwatch that everyone plays? Yeah, I guess a lot of people play overwatch everyone's playing monster hunter now
[00:50:03] I don't know what that is. Uh battlefield one just added some like
[00:50:06] Yeah, battlefield one's great dude. It came out like a year and a half ago and like every two months they add a whole new expansion for free
[00:50:13] Yeah, you pay for the premium pass. You just get like every piece of dlc for free
[00:50:17] So yeah, it becomes like a new game every like two months take licking chompers
[00:50:22] Yeah, so dlc yeah, she's got them dick sucking teeth
[00:50:28] That would be cool if someone had teeth in on the bottom or a bunch of little mouths
[00:50:34] Like right here would look a kaleidoscope mouth
[00:50:37] Right at the right so at the bottom of your top teeth in the the top of your bottom teeth
[00:50:42] Instead of edges. There's little mouths
[00:50:48] They lick it and suck it. Yeah, that would be it probably feel really good
[00:50:52] Yeah, a bunch of little mouths inside of a little inside of a bigger mouth. I guess I've never considered what we feel good
[00:50:58] I'm too dark for that. That's all I think about man. I only think about what feels bad
[00:51:04] That's you man. That's see cuz I think I'm going with the culture or about feeling good, but not you not me dude
[00:51:12] Like what are some examples of darks things you like the movie ghost dog way the same
[00:51:19] Just a lone swordsman mentally retarded probably living on top of a building in queens
[00:51:24] Mm-hmm or Jersey City. I think it's really shot that. Yeah, just fucking around with pigeons
[00:51:32] Yeah, well, I don't know if it's a black bunch of black people in there's black people in it. Is it like skimmed?
[00:51:39] Okay, I'm thinking of a different movie. Yeah, there's a
[00:51:43] There's a while rizzes barely in he's in it for a second, but he scored the movie. Oh, that's cool. Yeah
[00:51:48] Rizz is good at scores. He did a couple other scores. Yeah
[00:51:56] Now when it was in liquid swords, even though that's jizzo it is
[00:52:00] Great album. That might be my favorite Wu Tang
[00:52:06] Uh, I was like what's that first ghost face album fish scale
[00:52:13] Uh, I don't remember. That's a good album too whichever it is like first Ray Kwan's is good as hell only bill for Cuban links. Yep
[00:52:20] Mm-hmm. What is the first fucking ghost face? Ghost face has a couple like older ones that are good as shit. Yeah, I don't I never really fucked with Wu Tang
[00:52:30] I liked I mean I did I actually haven't listened to
[00:52:33] I mean, I've basically just listened to I loved liquid swords. I loved 36 chambers
[00:52:37] But I didn't listen to like like a couple there later like the later albums. Yeah, and then fucking uh
[00:52:43] ODB is just so fucking funny. Yeah, and he's got I mean his albums are great. Mm-hmm Brooklyn Zoo raw
[00:52:48] I mean, I know it's just one song that shit goes the hell off
[00:52:51] It's it's just it's nice to see someone who is probably sort of like retarded that just like
[00:53:04] I think he had a bunch of illegitimate children. Oh, did he? I'm glad I don't have that
[00:53:13] Did you ever did you ever ghost did you ever raw dog? Yeah, of course all the time
[00:53:17] Well, but I've had all of those women killed
[00:53:22] Really? Yeah, dude. That's part of being a ghost dog. That's part of the way of the samurai
[00:53:30] Samurai's were weird because they were pedophiles, right?
[00:53:33] That doesn't come up in ghost dog. Do they fuck there's it? I mean, I thought that's I thought greek people
[00:53:39] I thought we had that on lock. Ah dude. Romans did it. Samurai's did it. The english still do it
[00:53:44] I'm serious. Actually, I guess you're right. Yeah, I'm gonna publish english boys school
[00:53:50] That's how you get into parliament, right? You have to get fucked. Oh, yeah, dude
[00:53:53] That's the thing is like people are like oh, yeah, a hollywood pedophile conspiracy theory
[00:53:57] It's like oh, yeah a thing happening that's been going on in every culture throughout history. Yeah, that's wild
[00:54:06] Fucking kids. No human behavior doesn't change, dude. You think they're gonna be fucking kids
[00:54:10] Retational dog new tricks. That's why it's up to elon musk to save us
[00:54:14] Replace our dicks with robots with big fucking fat
[00:54:18] Nice wide Roomba dick could you feel things if your dick was a robot? You could feel it in your
[00:54:27] They could figure out a way to like put in some kind of electrode into your brain that connects to the robot dick
[00:54:33] That makes you feel pleasure and elect showed elect showed. Yeah, my favorite pokemon
[00:54:46] Jeez brock, what's that it's my fucking cock ash
[00:54:53] It's my dick. Why does it have a face on it brock?
[00:55:00] What are you boys up to get out of here mr. You fucking thin leg to war
[00:55:13] The nurse was hot nurse joy could get it nurse joy
[00:55:17] Lady from team rocket. I don't remember that character. I remember team rocket
[00:55:22] Who doesn't do me? I remember it. Yeah me out there like you wish Brooklyn Jewish. Yeah
[00:55:35] Yeah, he spoke none of the other ones smoke no
[00:55:38] He Pikachu just said his name. Yeah, they all just said their names
[00:55:43] Yes, we should uh take a look at the new york times here like I said I was gonna do okay till I just scrolled through my uh
[00:55:51] My fucking instagram mentions. Would you get anything good?
[00:55:54] No, I don't know. I guess there's a question now about whether or not to seek the death penalty for this kid in Florida
[00:56:01] Oh, which is like the answer is no. Yeah, it does if you're against death bill you're against the damn death
[00:56:06] I know I've made that point before but it's just time to reiterate that if you know if there's a limit you can reach where you think that we should
[00:56:15] euthanize people then you know just support it for everything. Yeah, yeah, retarded minor traffic violations retarded people
[00:56:24] You know if you don't if you don't win on prices, right? That's right
[00:56:29] Let's get the shit high stakes as hell. Yeah, do you see the thing about bill gates not knowing the prices of things because he's rich
[00:56:36] Oh really an Allen and Allen being like isn't this funny? It's yeah, but he's you know, he's a self-made millionaire his parents weren't billionaires
[00:56:46] Totally self-made just like jeff bezos that little fucked up cock-eyed piece of shit
[00:56:51] Mm-hmm. Let's fuck that guy out man. I don't fuck with him jeff gazos jeff
[00:56:55] Oh, that's how we're gonna take him down. Yeah, my friend is working at Amazon and he's talking about how he's like contracting work
[00:57:03] And he's like I actually don't want to criticize Amazon because it might be our future business partner
[00:57:07] I'm trying to release the gay skin school backpacks
[00:57:14] Free shipping. Oh I get that. Mm-hmm. They're a cool-ass company that pays their employees living wages today. No
[00:57:25] People have to like fucking wear diapers in their warehouses because there's no time to like piss and shit
[00:57:30] Really? Yeah, for real in that Baltimore warehouse. That was a big story
[00:57:34] Especially during the holidays just blow across the room a piece of my nail
[00:57:39] Okay, that was funny watching you have to eat a bagel with a fork a knife because your tooth is fucked up
[00:57:43] Yeah, dude, I can only I had to cut it up a little piece of throat in the left side of my mouth in June with my back teeth
[00:57:51] It's like a hospital. I'm going Monday to the dentist bitch. Yeah
[00:57:55] Well, what if I die on the dentist, dude
[00:57:58] Will you be able to do funny moms on your own? I'm gonna do the whole damn show on my own
[00:58:01] Everybody's dropping like flies not me though because I'm resilient and powerful. Yeah guys, please. Oh by the way
[00:58:07] Please don't comment on my Instagram about me dying
[00:58:10] My mom reads those comments and she asked me what's going on
[00:58:14] I'm trying to keep it from her so that I might have cancer. So I don't by the way. I'm fine. I
[00:58:21] Just have some weird fucked up growth that they have to take
[00:58:23] Yeah, you just says a tumor that needs to be biopsy that they had to rush him to a maxofacial surgeon to get looked at because
[00:58:29] It could be cancer. So it's not it's not cancer. It's just something that could and very likely it's not cancer. It's some fucked up lump
[00:58:54] Oh horrible, they fucking sucked such dick and I fucking hated that group and I don't understand why they were so popular
[00:59:00] I know will I am sucks my dick. I thought it was Wyclef for the longest time, but it wasn't it is not Wyclef
[00:59:06] Fergie though could get the salich. I did want to have sex with Fergie. Wyclef is what Fuji's right?
[00:59:13] Yeah, Fuji's are good sucking my dick with your penis
[00:59:18] One time one time fucking my ass with your dick
[00:59:23] Sucking my dick with your mouth in your asshole for so long
[00:59:40] Sucking my penis. Yeah, what a fun way to listen to the radio till it comes
[00:59:47] Well, we got to find something clothes on here
[00:59:51] We had so much fun in my mind last the weekly episode was an hour of that Batman thing
[00:59:58] But realistically that could have only been five minutes. Yeah five six minutes
[01:00:01] Yeah, I have no idea what we talked about. Yeah, I'm shitting in the kitchen
[01:00:27] Well, it's something bad, you know, I'm always like let me look at the New York Times
[01:00:31] And I forget that the New York Times isn't funny. I should be going to something like Yahoo News or good
[01:00:37] You see something funny. Yeah, where's where's that the website to all the stories?
[01:00:41] They're like a woman whose tits were too big the fucker retarded son
[01:00:47] No, but this is the kind of headlines I need I'm going to effuck the dot-com. That's not a news. No, it's video
[01:00:53] news analysis camhor awards Mueller is gaining steam should Trump worry. No, he shouldn't
[01:01:00] No, dude Trump's gonna fucking he's gonna he's gonna survive at everything dude
[01:01:03] I can't wait to go to the Trump library dude the presidential library. Yeah, it's gonna just be like pictures of women
[01:01:09] He's fucked. I can't wait until Trump on live TV drives a monster truck through the New York Times
[01:01:17] Fuckin just your drives grave digger directly. Yes, there's a stone cold stunner to the fucking I don't know
[01:01:29] Pat Pullman bill Pullman. Mm-hmm. It's still he's don't call stunners bill Pullman today is
[01:01:39] There's a lot of different types of people white people black people other kinds of black people
[01:01:45] But today we're facing a new race aliens the real
[01:01:58] My time is president I said a lot of hateful things about that's what do we do that bit about
[01:02:03] Independence day if the president was like an alt-right guy I don't remember that everyone hated him up until eight aliens came
[01:02:10] Cuz they don't really tell you what kind of president you're gonna feel for it
[01:02:13] We did that bit on the show. Maybe that was something I was just thinking about independently
[01:02:17] I don't think we did but I don't remember anything we've ever said on the show a lot of my my presidency
[01:02:22] This this far has been pretty divisive. I know I
[01:02:26] Build my campaign around calling people lazy specs
[01:02:31] But pot pot that's before I knew about the aliens
[01:02:36] That's good alright president damn how fucked with the
[01:02:44] Aliens came now. Mm-hmm. That should be hilarious, dude
[01:02:48] You know I like the aliens. I made a good deal at first
[01:02:50] I said they were gonna take over the country, but I played golf with one of them
[01:02:55] You know why does that motherfucker love golf so much golf sucks dick golf's great
[01:03:02] I've only played it twice in my life, but I love the idea of being out in a field and having more money than other people
[01:03:07] That's okay. I'm with you with the money driving around a tiny car. I like the tiny cars cool vehicles that are the wrong size
[01:03:13] That is funny. It is. I mean you have snacks any sport involving a vehicle. That's the wrong size
[01:03:18] It's either for the richest people in the world or the poorest people in the world. See their monster trucks are golf
[01:03:25] You know you're right, but the actual active hitting that little fucking dick-ass ball. I don't want to do that
[01:03:30] Yeah, if it's if you drive out to the middle of field
[01:03:33] There's a ping-pong table there and each hole is a game of ping-pong
[01:03:37] We talk about how I love it the premise of happy Gilmore is a hockey player is better at golf than everyone else because hockey players aren't gay
[01:03:44] Yeah, golf guys are too weak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right. It's a good one. That's already
[01:03:50] We already talked about that Carl Weathers in that huh. Yeah pretty good. Yeah, he's pretty good in that you got a dick shoved in your ass boy
[01:04:01] You can feel that can't you they call that the shining
[01:04:09] Scat man brothers like talking to a little boy and getting his dick hard you feel that it's hard, isn't it?
[01:04:21] Fuck all right one hot riff coming right up
[01:04:26] Oxyclean huh? We got that right there. Yeah, Billy Billy. What's his name Billy died. Yeah, Billy something
[01:04:36] What if that was really me that was the Billy that Trump was talking to when he said grab and buy the pussy
[01:04:48] What if it was Billy made the Billy Bush all right, that's probably fine you guys listening to the hell bent podcast
[01:04:53] We are we have a show at come on everybody this Monday tomorrow at it's funny mom
[01:05:00] So come out. We don't know who's on it yet, but please come to the show. No also
[01:05:03] I'm at a house of blues in Boston March 22nd. Yeah, go see that shit buddy. Oh also
[01:05:08] I'm in Philly March 17th come dot town check out the limited edition gayest kid in school
[01:05:18] The find it would be the coolest kid in your fucking school wearing our cool kid gayest kid in school backpack all right