Cum Town | Premium | 04/30/2018
[00:00:00] Okay so we had a lot of good things going on I was gonna give you more
[00:00:06] information I was gonna find the best picture possible before showing you this
[00:00:09] woman's breasts can I please see them can you just chill out and not no just wait
[00:00:14] until I find the thing that I cannot chill out you promised me to do is this
[00:00:18] woman I don't know it's just one of these reddit porn
[00:00:23] oh cool yeah anyways can I see it no what we'll look it up later I'm sorry
[00:00:28] what the hell how I being penalized for Adam grabbing your phone and making you
[00:00:32] mad I didn't grab his phone I grab my own no no no no no that is fucking
[00:00:36] revisionist history you go my phone from my text to you I take not the wrong thing
[00:00:42] motherfucking the thing with the titties you have put me I have a shot up shut
[00:00:46] the fuck up you put me a jeopardy of not seeing these titties right yeah yeah
[00:00:50] and that's and Paul I want you first of all to apologize you'll see here I'll
[00:00:53] send it to the group text and you guys can discover it on your own okay rather
[00:00:57] than just taking my fucking waiting a second I could show you some of the
[00:01:01] is she a nice person it's no probably not anyways so here's what I'm thinking
[00:01:06] uh-huh this is what I was working on today I'm listening to the wife of the
[00:01:10] day labor with the herd balls oh okay and her name my my husband he's balls
[00:01:16] they hurt too much and my name is John Cena that's good oh god damn it's
[00:01:24] just very woman named John Cena my name me amo is John Cena John Cena yeah
[00:01:32] John Cena go the areas John Cena is one name yeah of course that's the first
[00:01:38] name whoa these are wild ass yeah those are those can't be real they are they are
[00:01:44] trust me so circular I've launched an investigation into this you did interesting
[00:01:50] yeah this is pretty cool if we're in the nipples are inside out you know what
[00:01:54] that's called what that do inside out nipples do yeah when they go there
[00:01:58] inverted no no the medical term for that you don't talk about right yes you
[00:02:04] you never seen that people never see the nipple is titties so big that the nipple
[00:02:08] gets sucked oh okay yeah okay yeah yeah and that that's an
[00:02:13] invaginated nipples that's really is the medical you could have sex with them you
[00:02:23] can fuck them oh nice I had that would be cool when pizza is on a bagel you can have
[00:02:29] sex with pizza come inside and fuck your pizza that's like oh boy hockey's over
[00:02:35] it's all fuck the pizza it's perfect for you a little bit in the morning pizza
[00:02:40] morning pizza in the evening pizza it's up a time when pizza is on a bagel
[00:02:46] there's a hole in it that you can fuck that's a Chicago style hey kids are you
[00:02:53] tired of not being able to fuck your pizza at home there's a bunch of kids
[00:02:57] who burn their dicks and totinos pizza rolls instead of big sausage pizza it's
[00:03:02] tiny sausage pizza and it's a bagel bite oh that's good I love that it's about me
[00:03:08] yeah hello I have a delivery here it might be kind of hard to find the bagel
[00:03:13] part also they were just a direct direct yourself to the to the ring box next to
[00:03:18] my penis area but the fucking but like the male community that goes on stage
[00:03:25] is like talking about how like women can never find yeah yeah yeah there you
[00:03:30] gotta see that porno of that guy who the little elastic that would fuck women
[00:03:33] they'd be like bored and shit yeah Bob is that his name yeah that website was
[00:03:38] hilarious and I would watch it be like nice yeah when I was I was nervous that
[00:03:46] my dick was small as hell as a little kid I would watch them be like nice if
[00:03:51] that guy I'm gonna do is like in the parking lot of the Glendale mall yeah
[00:03:56] and then he's just showing women his dick and they're laughing at me he
[00:03:59] fucks all of them it's hilarious yeah and they're like crossing their arms you're
[00:04:04] like come on salute the Bob and you're part of fake wig sometimes and fuck yeah
[00:04:10] yeah yeah good for him cool that what do you call it the I forget now whatever
[00:04:18] that's right you do forget you forget a lot of things I do there's one thing I'll
[00:04:24] never be our median genocide I've never forgotten that that's coming up I think
[00:04:28] it was this week a lot of people it's yeah it's April 19 fucking turks it
[00:04:34] 19 something like that 1914 was the April something 19 mm-hmm fuck the Turks
[00:04:39] that's what you know what fuck the Ottomans I said it
[00:04:42] come get a hiller mottled the Armenian genocide or the Holocaust after the
[00:04:47] Armenian no about the Ottomans and they're like gay they're like Twink Harry
[00:04:51] Twink oh they're two otters otter yeah ottermans the Otterman Turks the my Otterman
[00:04:57] and a slam fire oh yeah hiller model so hiller model the Holocaust after the
[00:05:06] Armenian genocide and Israel won't recognize the Armenian genocide why not
[00:05:11] I don't know they're not even friends with Turkey they hate Turkey they just
[00:05:15] hate Armenians man the the fucking listen guys over there in Israel yeah
[00:05:20] Israel is just not looking too good man about the scar media genocide and they
[00:05:24] kill all the Scarface guys okay scarf scarf yeah you're right at the live show
[00:05:33] you don't get that yeah yeah we did a ten minute scarf thing just need a bunch
[00:05:36] of puns about scarfs really brought the house to dream I started drinking again
[00:05:40] you have a dream a lot I know you had a heroin dream didn't you once or twice
[00:05:45] yeah I had a heroin dream the other night but I've never even done heroin yeah
[00:05:49] but what do you mean what was the dream I was like I was like I'm gonna start
[00:05:53] chipping because that's what they say in movies when you're like I'm gonna do a
[00:05:57] little bit of heroin even though I'm an addict I know I'll get addicted yeah
[00:06:00] yeah like Christopher Christopher's Chris for a chip it so I had a dream where I
[00:06:05] was like yeah I'm gonna start chipping even though I'm not even a heroin
[00:06:07] out of yeah Nick what was your dream nice you drinking dream I just you know
[00:06:11] I was drinking beers you said that's all it is no not even at a bar I'm just
[00:06:14] at home drinking a beer and avoid you in a beer floating yeah that's cool yeah
[00:06:25] you know I bought on Etsy is some guy with a 3d plen printer yeah and it's a
[00:06:31] an attachment for the Dyson so you can plug in all the accessories some guy
[00:06:35] 3d printed that I thought that was pretty cool wait well you broke a media it
[00:06:39] instantly broke you're saying it's like a little holder for all the yeah well
[00:06:42] clips into the dice and you got a 3d printer and he designed this thing rather
[00:06:45] shittily at my dad yeah again it broke immediately so that's what you had for
[00:06:50] buying shit on Etsy but it is pretty cool this week you do a 3d printer yeah I
[00:06:54] would love to pull what's the best thing you could possibly 3d print could
[00:06:59] print anything yeah lower receiver for an air 15 fully a bump stock and now
[00:07:07] legal bumps back I don't know man I would like to print hmm I mean clearly the
[00:07:15] obvious thing to say a bigger dick but that wouldn't work you don't feel it
[00:07:17] mm-hmm so maybe like a bigger dick but the sides are open so you kind of feel
[00:07:22] it on the sides of your dick well at least a little bit wait maybe a 3d printed
[00:07:27] dildo yeah to fuck your own ass no I'm 3d print an Emmy or a oh cool I'd
[00:07:36] be 3d printed Oscar and then dip it in gold yeah then no one did you know no one
[00:07:42] looks up that and you would write for being very gay on it yep for being the
[00:07:46] world's world's coolest guy I probably make something to hold all the remotes
[00:07:50] for my TV that's a good answer yeah good answer yeah Nick Nick really had that
[00:07:55] one barrel you get a little basket for that yeah I'm surprised that what what
[00:08:01] a family is most likely to 3d print Cheryl a deal del a penis good God yeah
[00:08:11] looks into the camera what has happened to these children I'm 47 child if you
[00:08:17] know I'm a 40 I'm post-menopausal we got to beat these kids damn Steve put your
[00:08:26] belt back on so Steve was the host obvious is a current host I don't buy it I
[00:08:31] don't buy the Steve Harvey beats his kids because if he took his belt off his
[00:08:34] pants would fall down yeah that's true you can't wear pants that big and take
[00:08:38] your fucking belt off yeah that's very true he should be a suspenders guy who
[00:08:43] pants that big that's true yeah remember when Al Borland was the was family
[00:08:49] family and so did Richard Richard Carr is that his name oh Peter Munfern sign
[00:08:55] yeah he was a few to try to bunch of different that's hilarious like those
[00:08:59] guy what the fuck I want that gig we should host family feud guys yeah you
[00:09:03] think we'll ever crossover to family feud status I mean I actually was talking
[00:09:08] to my management about pitching a show that I host nice for a game show no I
[00:09:13] mean well yeah actually yes what would it be I don't want it I just tell no
[00:09:18] this is a lot of people listen to show this is the thing in development nice
[00:09:21] all right it's a thing I'm working on yeah so you know I'm I've got my own
[00:09:26] career you know I got it I yeah you guys do you have your relationship stop you
[00:09:31] get you know all your haircuts yeah I do you know you're different you know
[00:09:35] you're all the different hairstyles you try out I'm rocking a full pompadour
[00:09:40] right now yeah I email my management once a year and I'm like what about this
[00:09:44] and they're like please just do something please stop leaning on a podcast
[00:09:50] the longer you do the more you shut yourself out of the entertainment
[00:09:58] now I did it's cool we'll just run for another seven months probably then we'll
[00:10:03] kill ourselves mm-hmm well we'll try and do something it'll fail I hope I get on
[00:10:07] that become the family shoot us that would be great that'd be a great way for
[00:10:11] this and the pot just you become that no way I'm gonna be the family feud host
[00:10:16] the family first of all I'm clearly the gonna be the host of family feud what
[00:10:20] we both do it and Adam is okay that's pretty funny yes you have to there's
[00:10:25] two families you have two hosts who saves the walking saves the war time more time
[00:10:30] for bits you get to be on the side of the show so it's sort of like I got to walk
[00:10:34] to the center for people to do the this is why you will never be on television
[00:10:38] you don't get it man and they can they can Skype us into the center that's
[00:10:42] what I'm saying it works here this and they their I see dollar signs they think
[00:10:46] yeah I think who the opportunity to pay two people yeah for the price of yeah
[00:10:51] over what we would have been doing yeah which is one person to pay two five
[00:10:55] hundred thousand dollar a year salary right to save what I'm saying I could
[00:11:02] be the center like no you don't have the hurry the charisma to do it yeah I could
[00:11:07] put a suit on me absolutely you've never seen me in a suit I have you were my suit
[00:11:10] I become a different person you could be like you could you like you could do it
[00:11:14] you have a show like Norm Abram but you smell candles like scented candles there
[00:11:18] is that candle boy on YouTube and I can't do it as good as you don't have
[00:11:22] the job you can't get a workshop with Adam Adam Abram Norm Abram Jewish
[00:11:28] Carpenter you're gonna cook you're gonna teach improv Adam that's gonna be
[00:11:31] I've been watching I've never even learned it I know but you'll just teach I'm
[00:11:33] actually not very good at it as the show is a testament on Amazon yeah
[00:11:40] I'm it's a Carpentries show and the guys is some guy from Boston Tommy
[00:11:45] Tommy McDonald but he has oh Tommy was on this old house yeah he was the
[00:11:50] contractor on this any but sometimes he's team at Tommy yeah yeah yeah well I'll
[00:11:56] show you guys he goes on it goes okay well today we're gonna take a trip to we're
[00:12:00] gonna go on a little road trip so here we are in Quincy Mass
[00:12:05] road trips are still just other parts of Boston
[00:12:08] take a little road trip today and here we are Dorchester what do you think
[00:12:14] Norm Abram net worth net worth yeah you think he's got millions well he is
[00:12:18] Jewish well yeah but he was that he had a PBS career I don't know how many pays
[00:12:26] like 27,000 I don't know who Norm Abram is he was on this old house and
[00:12:31] he's a guy with the bearded dude yeah and the main guy and the plan sure maybe
[00:12:38] guys Al Borland was kind of a kind of a an homage to Norm Abram
[00:12:47] it was was how gay did Al come to you so I call it a home I know I think the
[00:12:53] subtext was I was always desperately in love with Jill but yeah I was real
[00:12:58] a decidoe for J.I.L. Jiz in the labia who's the second didn't they have a
[00:13:06] famous woman that was the sexy lady on Janie McCarthy yeah yeah the the what is
[00:13:12] it the what's it called the tool time bitch the tool time the tool time or was
[00:13:18] it like Kathy Ireland it was Kat Von D oh that tattoo yeah yeah
[00:13:23] tattoo I think it was Kat Von D wasn't she married them Jesse James yeah the
[00:13:29] chopper guy and then you know what that was a cool show monster garage ever
[00:13:32] watched that yeah that was a fun competition show and the other one's good
[00:13:36] to the choppers the West Coast choppers chopped no West Coast choppers that was
[00:13:41] that was the tip the dad and his two fuck up kids his large son yeah his
[00:13:47] one son that looked like him and his other son that was Zacha Mico yeah no
[00:13:55] that was American chopper American chopper yeah they were West Coast they
[00:13:59] were from like West Coast choppers is just say New York is dad the one that
[00:14:03] made the meme out they were Orange County choppers because that was Orange County
[00:14:07] New York though it was yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I thought it
[00:14:10] was yeah I thought it was Orange County the fucking by the beach the OC dude
[00:14:16] when's last time you guys watch wild hogs I don't think I've ever seen
[00:14:20] hours ago it's a good movie we should watch it yeah I've never seen it that
[00:14:23] would be that's another way to cut down and walk it you can host family feud
[00:14:26] but on a motorcycle oh that's good I'm a little scooter okay let's go over to the
[00:14:30] Thompson's okay folks do you think the studios full of exhaust I'm not
[00:14:43] disabled I'm cool I think Nick you'd have trouble as the family feud host because
[00:14:48] of the racial implications that are always bubbling under the surface of that
[00:14:52] show yeah yeah why I navigate race better than any other entertainer in the United
[00:14:57] States I don't know in the United States sometimes they would just say
[00:15:00] something and you'd be like I'm like I'm the Grace Jones of comedy mm-hmm
[00:15:05] okay I'm so dark that I'm white oh smart that's cool she was cool I like
[00:15:12] if you're dark enough you're just a white person I don't know that's true
[00:15:15] I think I think if anything like the dark you are if there's someone if one of
[00:15:20] you ever see one of those black eyes is just completely black yeah and they
[00:15:23] have to like work in a bookstore cuz they're way too dark I don't know
[00:15:27] I think if any of those can you think it's harder the dark you are there's the
[00:15:32] colors right I think they probably something like that on family feud
[00:15:37] like the kind of black you're so dark they have to work in bookstores that was
[00:15:42] going on their whole family yeah yeah yeah one of the darkest families we've
[00:15:46] had actually yeah you couldn't resist if there's like a black family and the
[00:15:52] thing was like you know something that you act like I don't you interact with
[00:15:56] black people outside of this podcast I'm just saying at least once a week
[00:15:59] I'm just saying fan black families yeah I don't know I don't know about you
[00:16:05] thing interacting with an old black lady you know I've interacted with plenty of
[00:16:09] black you know I'm not counting the post office all right well there's other
[00:16:14] offices yeah DMV if I was a host if I was a host you couldn't bring back I would
[00:16:21] bring back cuz they would walk all over you know 1970s you have the rest due
[00:16:25] and I said everyone all the ladies we talk a little bit of sexual assault we
[00:16:29] talked about that on the Tim Dilling episode yeah yeah it was really good
[00:16:33] people who are hearing from me is one of the funniest like really in that one
[00:16:37] in like a couple the other ones we did around that yeah I mean I'm just I'm
[00:16:39] not it's not really good you know Tim and I are you know good friends I want
[00:16:43] some French fries and ketchup yeah you're just saying you want to clean up
[00:16:49] your diet yeah but who cares I want you to live I'd like a big basket of fries
[00:16:53] close you know it's funny as I try to get in shape for summer but then it starts
[00:16:56] getting summer time I'm like crab cakes fucking you know yeah fried clant let's
[00:17:01] you know let's just eat like shit oh yeah and then when it's actually summer I've
[00:17:05] just destroyed myself yeah yeah cuz I get too excited yeah yeah you pre-com I do
[00:17:10] yeah I come in my pain you come in your pants for summer and then winter it's
[00:17:14] like I forget about it completely I can just focus read it yeah in the winter
[00:17:18] time others winter foods there's stews I don't need any of that shit you just
[00:17:22] just chilli I had chilli that's good I made pretty good chili last year that
[00:17:27] was fucking good dude week later week later is about the third day to wall the
[00:17:33] fucking flavors are saturated mother really married the flavors of all
[00:17:37] married so fucking a good yeah oh my mommy I want to fuck my mom I want to have a
[00:17:43] sex with my mom I want to kill my father so I can fuck my mom the Freud I want
[00:17:50] to eat the mama's as whole I want a second linguine here my mama can't yeah
[00:17:54] that and that kind of stuff mm-hmm yeah which is yeah I'm just always hungry
[00:17:59] yeah yeah dude I feel like you know what everyone laughs at me everyone mocks me I
[00:18:05] think I'm gonna turn my life around this time this time you know I will say I
[00:18:09] have seen like maybe a four-day five-day traction behind this yes it's been
[00:18:14] five days sometimes sometimes you last lesson twice last 12 hours yeah what's
[00:18:19] so I every day I start my day with fucking two eggs yeah you know what I
[00:18:23] mean slice of fucking turkey bacon it's funny cuz it's like
[00:18:27] dieting is like not I mean that's basically what I eat a normal yeah I
[00:18:32] fucking have a smoothie mmm spinach broccoli carrots mother fucking berries
[00:18:39] little banana what's like the liquid base for it almond milk all sweetened
[00:18:43] sweet unsweetened unsweetened of course okay I've been doing I've been doing I've
[00:18:49] been tracking my calories with my fitness pal was that on your phone it's
[00:18:53] a little app you put all the fucking everything you eat it's really helped me
[00:18:57] not just mindlessly yeah we do in my fitness spell yeah did you be careful
[00:19:01] though because you want to double check all of those yeah yeah there's a lot of
[00:19:04] the things in there just completely inaccurate I do it off the actual labels
[00:19:08] I do it even the nutrition labels really yeah damn dude well either way I think
[00:19:13] it's better for me than what I was doing before whatever the cure here's the
[00:19:17] keys any type of food you put in there add 500 calories to 500 you do that you
[00:19:24] set your calorie goal 1800 calories a day you'll do it okay yeah I can only
[00:19:29] have one eight like 1,300 calorie food I found my way into this internet
[00:19:36] community of all these teenage girls and they taught me that nothing tastes as
[00:19:40] good as skinny feels nice yeah pro Anna yeah and that's a that yeah yeah so I
[00:19:51] don't know maybe I'll do Weight Watchers like back in the day spit it out
[00:19:54] before you just for the flavors I've been riding my damn bike yeah you did
[00:19:58] you've been in three burrows on that bike today oh baby I went a story to
[00:20:03] Upper West Side drove through the park down to the fucking village you never
[00:20:07] hit me up to go for a bike ride I went from I went to therapy I did Bobby's
[00:20:11] podcast I came here oh look at oh I'm sorry I gotta hang out I did a podcast
[00:20:16] the fuck no I gotta go hang out Bobby's son I do love Max I mean Max oh the baby
[00:20:22] I'm on first name basis you can have you can be friends with the baby I'm not
[00:20:26] friends they fuck got babies especially not me ask you this would you be friends
[00:20:31] with that baby if you didn't know whose father was nobody's father's
[00:20:34] my career case club friends with his dad I'm gonna baby so your friends with
[00:20:40] that you don't know their parents zero yes you got me there not me I know a lot
[00:20:45] of good guys oh yeah a lot of good baby guys that you hang out with a lot of good
[00:20:48] guys what do you guys do share lollipops and stuff no we do do adult things I
[00:20:52] treat them like just like the bike they're like me Adam you're gonna get some
[00:20:55] French fries and ketchup and maybe a nice salty milk chocolate milkshake after
[00:21:00] this yeah I got to go to stand up let's bail on your show you bail on this show
[00:21:05] last week didn't you I didn't bail on it I didn't put it in my calendar
[00:21:12] there's a difference there is I didn't deliberately disrespect the room I just
[00:21:19] didn't accidentally disrespect it yeah exactly which to them makes a very big
[00:21:24] difference right it's like when you don't bother looking in the rearview
[00:21:27] mirror when you back out of a park it's not your ball didn't look at some woman
[00:21:32] trying to unload her groceries bitch I'm leaving best I already got the God
[00:21:39] award see this giant shield that's the pre-order bonus so you know you're
[00:21:46] fucking talking to did you get it got award I didn't know I don't even have
[00:21:50] the PlayStation hooked up dude my apartment's a fucking mess you don't
[00:21:53] have a TV hook just sawed us everywhere I've already fucking trapped you have
[00:21:57] internet yeah yeah hell yeah he's got to be online my boys got to be online and
[00:22:02] you beating off the porn these days Nick I actually don't jack off at all I don't
[00:22:08] have a sec yeah I just fuck yeah yeah it's weird did you get to you think
[00:22:13] I are both yeah yeah I would be so upset if like if what if there was a two
[00:22:21] some of us having gay sex it would be so weird it would really it would be a
[00:22:25] betrayal it's like when you're on a group text yeah and two of the people
[00:22:30] start fucking and yeah I mean well with us I've learned about this thing called
[00:22:38] topping from the bottom which means that I'm always you're receiving but I'm
[00:22:45] still in your ass back yeah I'm really back it back in that thing that has
[00:22:52] the circle for Nick Adam front back inside-to-side but I have the power if
[00:22:58] you guys were fucking but I could direct the scene like pornography I'm so
[00:23:01] much and you get a little dumb a little chat little a little fucking circular
[00:23:05] like a megaphone yeah yeah annual make that a little scarf I'm wearing that
[00:23:11] in that little chair do that high chair yeah I went to like a film mr. DeMille
[00:23:17] like a rose house oh yeah I'm ready for my close-up I will it's all I'm ready for
[00:23:25] on used to be better before they allowed all the black say that movie is fucked up
[00:23:32] have you ever seen sunset bull a million times I hadn't seen it until I only saw
[00:23:36] I only knew that line from Looney Tunes yeah because we need to I only know
[00:23:40] classical music from Looney Tunes yep yeah that's Wagner you know that Wagner
[00:23:49] politically I love him politically music music
[00:23:53] I love him as political theorist what is politics don't care for hate that
[00:23:58] shitty ass ride of the Valgaries oh come on that's a cool name Valkyrie what
[00:24:05] is it is it like bats or something I think it's like it's the angels or
[00:24:10] you to follow okay that makes sense the big titty babes to hell yeah warrior
[00:24:16] heaven yeah I feel like that's why I'm now how it's all like like metal guitar
[00:24:21] like yeah that's why all that music came out of Scandinavia yeah yeah straight
[00:24:26] from the gods that's what yeah Thor was all about do they eat each other's
[00:24:29] brains and shit too that's what is that Marzuk or Burzim I don't know which
[00:24:34] band was that mayhem yeah it was mayhem from Sweden or something I think
[00:24:38] or Norwegian yeah yeah the I don't know I think yeah he's someone guy killed the
[00:24:44] other guy in his brains now the lead singer killed himself oh okay on stage
[00:24:50] and then no and then one of the guys who just killed himself and then yeah
[00:24:54] maybe one of them made a piece of his brain that's pretty cool the other guy
[00:24:57] stabbed some someone stabbed someone killed someone someone stabbed the other
[00:25:01] guy and then he was in prison you know to prove how evil he was yeah hell yeah
[00:25:06] damn who's gonna eat whose brain yeah in this situation yeah I think it's gonna
[00:25:11] be more of like a great white type situation where we do a live show and
[00:25:15] then there's a pyrotechnics failure and everyone dies yes failure the way out
[00:25:24] baby oh yeah we should yeah I'm pregnant yeah guys it I'm pregnant you can
[00:25:34] see vainly I didn't know you can also conceive vaginally which is what
[00:25:38] happened well I'm not sure we should say we should say we are almost certainly
[00:25:44] I'm just gonna say we're doing a show at the auto bar on Sunday the sixth of a
[00:25:50] couple weeks yeah so not this Sunday is the next Sunday we're doing a live
[00:25:55] podcast we decide to take a little John's got that razor bling Baltimore huh what
[00:26:00] are you that razor it was on the table I don't know if I'm playing with it if
[00:26:03] I'm doing are you doing blow again I don't do blow with razor blades why not I
[00:26:08] don't know I do with the like keys what razor blade used to be the thing yeah
[00:26:13] yeah that you see really people do blow it was like 70 style even I feel like
[00:26:17] the thing I feel like it's just in movies yeah that feels too no no you use an
[00:26:21] MTA card yeah that's that's that's what the credit cards MTA cards yeah shit this
[00:26:27] shit you could cut yourself you're on cocaine you're on cocaine anyway I'm so
[00:26:32] yeah we're doing a live podcast at the auto bar prop almost certainly wonder of
[00:26:36] pumpkin chips would taste good I don't think so no you know what I've made not
[00:26:41] chips but fries I mean I mean squash fries oh yeah they're pretty good yeah
[00:26:46] yeah oh I guess pumpkin is oh you know what I want tonight I'm gonna bake up a
[00:26:50] big pieces spaghetti squash and have that with some now we're talking very
[00:26:53] nice yeah fortunately saw dust all over my oven inside it I got taught us
[00:26:59] everywhere you have like a fire god damn you your part must suck dick now it's
[00:27:06] all right I got that nice vacuum so you just piss and shit everywhere I just
[00:27:09] saw right exactly like it's like a cat yeah just coming in your hallways
[00:27:17] you remember there were restaurants we have peanut shells all over the floor
[00:27:23] yeah you know what the first time I ever went to a bar that had peanuts in
[00:27:26] it was somewhere in Massachusetts uh-huh and they let you just throw the
[00:27:30] fucking yeah throw the shells on the floor and so anytime I went to a bar
[00:27:35] with peanuts I thought that's what you were and I was at five guys throwing
[00:27:39] peanuts all peanut shells all over the floor my friends like laughing he's like
[00:27:45] the fuck he just says he's like I thought that was like a Texas like funny it but
[00:27:50] you're being an asshole yeah yeah I'm like what and he's like you put those in
[00:27:54] a trash yeah I was like no I thought you were supposed to just wipe them onto
[00:27:58] the floor like you do it the one bar I'm bomb I didn't fucking one night or I
[00:28:05] feel like that's not a thing anymore because there's more peanut allergies
[00:28:08] oh these fucking no flakes he's fucking Adam's got a peat these allergic
[00:28:13] their own penis oh dude yeah I'm allergic to my own penis really yeah it's a
[00:28:18] thing I actually you know we're talking about dreams I had a dream I could
[00:28:23] suck my own dick oh I've stuck my own dick but I had a dream I could which is
[00:28:26] weird yeah and then the dick was when I was like oh you're sucking a dick yeah
[00:28:30] yeah it feels more like there's a dick in your mouth yeah it's not a good feeling
[00:28:34] sucked yeah yeah but I had it I dreamt about it maybe maybe I'll get that
[00:28:38] flexible maybe I'll start doing yoga I'd like to have big arms no titties but if
[00:28:43] I could add some flexibility into the mix yeah I'm pretty flexible can you
[00:28:48] suck your dick now probably I could probably get close I'm pretty
[00:28:52] flexible I could put my legs behind my body oh yeah don't ask eldest can too
[00:28:57] that's so funny because again he's shaped like a woman yeah he has a
[00:29:03] pear shape yeah situation did if you've been fucked that way Adam legs behind
[00:29:09] your head yeah but it was in a heterosexual context I know but still
[00:29:13] that's hilarious yeah like a woman fucked you while you know I had a regular
[00:29:17] boner it was it was a really weird it was kind of from a book we look at it
[00:29:21] what you actually did this no I was just yeah you did you did you did you're
[00:29:28] lying make some things up you're lying what's with the how the how did how do
[00:29:32] the Indians why were they look you know you don't think of them as horny people
[00:29:36] yes you do you do you out of your fucking mom on to the internet dude
[00:29:40] log on to your idea they wrote a book go check your message requests yeah I guess
[00:29:46] the chief export of India is unsolicited Facebook message India or is
[00:29:52] it like Dubai is Saudi Arabia it's one hundred percent India there was this
[00:29:57] guy Dana showed me that was or maybe I showed her him I can't remember yeah
[00:30:01] guy who's from a town literally called poon India yeah you any and all of his
[00:30:07] like he only hit like 12 different profile pictures and they were all just
[00:30:10] a photo shoot and it's him with a laptop and a juice sitting at like some desk
[00:30:15] in his kitchen and then like him talking on a cell phone but you know it's always
[00:30:24] like hello baby general please let me talk to you to some extent please have
[00:30:31] you seen the problem with a pool those Indian guys they really shoot their
[00:30:37] shot I mean yeah they really cast a lot of India they got a problem is called
[00:30:41] Romeo dialing and it's where they just take a these a man will just take a
[00:30:45] random number take a phone book and then just go until it's like all everyone
[00:30:49] just call women can awesome and be like
[00:30:55] Romeo dialing is a hilarious word for it do not call my house again aren't you
[00:31:00] supposed to not fuck until marriage to an Indian or something you're supposed to
[00:31:04] be as horny as possible who wrote that book the commissutra was it some
[00:31:09] prince or something some guy love fun don't root root you know what some
[00:31:13] don't root and we're done I am not an author this man that is pretty cool not
[00:31:19] just a lot but I am writing books I feel like other countries had it they just
[00:31:24] didn't have a good enough printing press at the time you think it was a it was
[00:31:29] it was the advancement of the print but that's Europe dude yeah but yeah but
[00:31:32] as your first response to problem the poop we have a character on the show okay
[00:31:37] Vikram who is a rapist yeah I like that okay a horny in the yeah yep he doesn't
[00:31:46] work at a at a quick he doesn't work at a great time he doesn't have a job at all
[00:31:52] yeah yeah no his parents are rich his parents are yes yes yes he's a he's a
[00:31:57] soundcloud rapper yeah so he loves the Hondas and you know yeah Pua stuff yep
[00:32:05] something like that maybe Europe was like had more of like the church like if
[00:32:11] like Protestant I think ancient Greece though we just isn't the point I'm saying
[00:32:15] like well I think that isn't the commissutra oldest shit isn't like
[00:32:19] four thousand years old is the battles I don't know I don't know it's
[00:32:23] 10,000 years old this Indian cavemen were fucking and sucking each other some
[00:32:30] of those positions are like that's not sex well they were all doing yoga also
[00:32:33] yeah that's true everyone had to do yoga in India back then I want to be one of
[00:32:37] those Jacked old yoga people they're like 200 years old yeah and they're still
[00:32:41] life their beards are mad long yeah cool you saw him pissed off about something
[00:32:47] no you'd be tranquil dude no that'd be cool yeah you could be one of those guys
[00:32:50] and then actually fall through in that cold thing you could be like that cold
[00:32:53] guy from that Bob Juan Bob Juan oh show I won't be a cold guy it would suck
[00:32:57] you get to fuck everyone yeah it always can everyone do you know I mean I'm
[00:33:03] sure you do I'm not into that would you want to be a cult leader why not get
[00:33:07] some get the fuck and stuff you just don't have any you're like there's
[00:33:10] people constantly looking at you yeah but you don't have to do any work you
[00:33:14] don't have to any housework I like doing housework you know if you know people
[00:33:18] bring you breakfast and then let you suck I like making my own I like making my
[00:33:21] own you like sucking you and dick I like sucking my independent person now
[00:33:27] fuck housework housework sucks my housework sucks I don't say they people in the
[00:33:31] cold housework is nice because it's the easiest way to feel like you did
[00:33:34] something and you've done nothing yeah but it's but just clean up a mess that
[00:33:38] you made I know but that I know that's why it sucks no because it's a lot
[00:33:43] better you know I like it in the morning I wake up I'm like I'm gonna take a
[00:33:45] crack at like whatever project you and then I don't do it I can't write
[00:33:50] anything I haven't written anything I've liked in like two years yeah same and
[00:33:54] it's like all right well I guess I'll fucking build this bookcase yeah but
[00:33:58] let's just a trap you fall into make yourself feel like you're accomplishing
[00:34:01] something that's what I mean and you get the gratification out of it so what
[00:34:05] the fuck is the difference well with a cult everyone does all that stuff you
[00:34:08] have plenty of time to write yeah and they build you like a nice like house you
[00:34:11] get to be in seclusion you only get to go out when you want to go out yeah
[00:34:15] everyone comes and brings you anything you want and the thing that was tied by
[00:34:19] that documentary was that he was hella capitalist he had like roles Royce
[00:34:24] yeah he was yeah he had rollies like diamond he did he was like a rapper yeah
[00:34:29] he didn't give a fuck about like living like some sort of fake ass like no
[00:34:33] poor at no no not at all he loved being rich yeah he would go out to he had like
[00:34:37] fans in LA and shit the thing I wouldn't like about a cult is having to have a
[00:34:41] world view or any opinions about anything mm-hmm I guess my work yeah I
[00:34:44] guess could be your world view you know right we're stupid we don't know
[00:34:48] anything what the fuck do I know all I know all that we know is what's here
[00:34:52] love love sucking titties yeah you know mmm following nuts all those cult
[00:34:59] documentaries start off where it's like everyone's dancing and having these
[00:35:03] like ecstatic cult experiences like in circles and like sweating and hugging
[00:35:07] each other and then like like 25 minutes in it's like and then the rapes start
[00:35:12] yeah it always goes well they probably get raped over there at the ocean thing
[00:35:18] the ocean thing people were getting right well that thing was they were just
[00:35:21] disgusting they were just disgusting and having sex in like the middle of the
[00:35:25] fields yeah of that town that they took over it probably smelled so bad
[00:35:29] disgusting I want to watch another I'm in the mood to get high some ketchup and
[00:35:34] french fries watch one of those true crime documentaries it's a shame that
[00:35:39] like once you watch the jinx or whatever they're all watching again yeah I feel
[00:35:44] like they all use the same music they do it's all the same shit yeah well it's
[00:35:48] funny because like somebody figures out how to do a thing and then everyone just
[00:35:51] does it like Ken Burns figured out how to make a documentary and then everyone
[00:35:55] just made Ken Burns document a PowerPoint yeah yeah and you get the nice slide
[00:36:00] the image yeah slide transitions man he is I don't want to call him trans but he
[00:36:07] is the best hair well he's a type of he looks like a F2M for sure he looks like
[00:36:12] an alien yeah where he has like a boy's kind of face but also a beard at the
[00:36:17] same time he's a weird looking motherfucker yeah
[00:36:21] I agree fuck Ken Burns I think he's tight I fucked his ass fuck
[00:36:28] get birth that's up really yeah it was pretty good actually he's got a really
[00:36:37] tiny asshole and I fucked his brother yeah doesn't his brother make
[00:36:42] documentary yeah his brother made the new
[00:36:45] yeah his brother's made made some pretty good ones actually yeah that must suck
[00:36:48] to be fucking Rick Burns yeah everyone knows can no knows Rick whatever no
[00:36:54] knows pretty Ricky does he look weird too I don't know see I don't even know what
[00:36:57] he fucking looks like none of us we've all seen New York we don't know what he
[00:36:59] looks like yeah I've seen part of it I got I can only find it on YouTube that's
[00:37:04] that's an impression I can do Rick Burns go ahead yeah hey everybody it's
[00:37:08] very records I don't know no no you're right tell me I'm wrong I'm Rick Burns
[00:37:14] it's right I'm Rick Burns bitch eat me Rick Burns he's having a good baron I
[00:37:21] have a little Rick Burns read to me and I have a sex with your epoxy there's no
[00:37:27] oh yeah yeah that's that does he look like him no he looks like more like a man
[00:37:32] let me see he's not like great oh that's good he doesn't look that good let me
[00:37:38] see Ken Burns looks like take your mother fucker show me doesn't Ken Burns
[00:37:42] like I don't want to see Ken Burns I want to see that this take the tar looks like
[00:37:47] Ken Burns that's true take that take the talk yeah fuck yeah Ken Burns
[00:37:52] probably his bigger teeth and take the tar oh get her that's that's I'm just
[00:37:57] saying how dare you have cancer I'm just saying probably right Jesus you know make
[00:38:03] fun of any kind of person you want on the show except somebody in the
[00:38:07] entertainment industry who has more power than yeah yeah certainly people
[00:38:11] with I wasn't making fun of this I will not abide and sit here while you mock a
[00:38:17] cancer doesn't have titties but Ken Burns possibly retaliate in some I can
[00:38:24] say she's probably one of the least likely people to listen to take school
[00:38:28] I fucking take the tar I actually know for a fact that taking tar listens to
[00:38:32] come to her she in fact yeah she does there's no way to fucking are you out of
[00:38:38] your mind Adam yeah place this every fucking yeah there's every week her
[00:38:43] her and her wife sit down I met her before she's nice no comics listen to
[00:38:47] this show comics yeah I think a lot of them doing only only New York comics
[00:38:52] only Scarlett Johansson really LA comics away what's up Scar Joe they're
[00:38:56] officially out as a couple stop he says what's up who's stop and it's me
[00:39:01] Scarlett Johansson stop in Scarlett me Scarlett and Ken Burns we're a triad
[00:39:05] stop I fuck I fuck Ken Burns ass while Scarlett Johansson sucks my balls oh it's
[00:39:10] kind of like a bisexual kind of train freakin shit yeah we're into some freaky
[00:39:16] ass shit me Scar Joe and Ken and then but she in the atomic blonde what is the
[00:39:22] time yeah no that's Charlize Carla on that their own what is that movie I think
[00:39:27] it's a movie where she's she's like hot John Wick basically this is pretty cool
[00:39:31] you can you can use a razor blade to shave yeah it's a razor yeah but I mean
[00:39:36] just by itself it's like a straight razor let me try I want to do that
[00:39:39] because shaving the back of his hands yeah and Harry hands like a fucking bad
[00:39:43] boon yeah yeah I'm like me a bad boon I'm a beautiful hairless boy yeah I wish
[00:39:51] my nuts were naturally hairless though you know that would be nice you know
[00:39:54] it's not I kind of enjoy being her suit except for for your nuts yeah except for
[00:40:00] my dick and ass that's the one part how much I don't mind my ass I guess
[00:40:09] cumulates it's kind of annoying to have like little hairs on the shaft of your
[00:40:13] dick I don't have that I have some at the very bottom yeah like I'm the basic
[00:40:19] like goes up your dick a little bit mm-hmm I don't have any hair on my dick I
[00:40:23] used to be like that and then I started getting the the shaft hairs in my like
[00:40:26] mid-twenties yeah but we're the same age yeah yeah but that was that's a
[00:40:31] no one would share yeah yeah my beard my beard grows in more every year I have
[00:40:36] like a thicker beard never year I have more body hair interesting I don't think
[00:40:40] I do it's good it's because as you get older I think I don't know the science
[00:40:46] exactly but your body converts more testosterone into DHT which is the shit
[00:40:52] that makes you go bald but so basically the hair on your head reacts to DHT by
[00:40:57] getting smaller and the hair on your body reacts to the fuck I got playing at
[00:41:02] DHT why the fuck don't I have a hair your beard because your body your genetics
[00:41:07] are fucked up so why do old men not have leg hair they don't have the leg hair
[00:41:12] yeah probably from wearing pants actually is that it yeah cuz I all my thighs
[00:41:16] where my where my wallet my keys are I don't have hair I'm that doesn't sound
[00:41:21] I remember seeing my grandfather's legs once they're probably dying yeah
[00:41:26] yeah but I think my dad just has hair at this point on his knees that looks nice
[00:41:31] look at that you do have a clean hand now yeah shaved your hand so shaving my
[00:41:36] hands yeah cool you got all your fucking hand hair like it's peanut shells at
[00:41:43] five guys stop shaving your hands and the first bar he went to he was allowed
[00:41:48] to leave his hand here everywhere yeah that does make logical like oh great that
[00:41:53] guy's back he brought pee nuts in his right
[00:41:57] making them five guys shaviest hands fuck I feel like I probably faster swimmer
[00:42:05] now better boxer mm-hmm yeah better fister and then you you keep the razor
[00:42:10] straight afterwards you get all the dead skin you shave that off exfoliant and
[00:42:14] then you get that next layer of real family we should go we should go to the
[00:42:19] you want to live it's a bit sometime how many they open you want to go tonight
[00:42:23] I have to go do that spot because the spot will get some fresh fries and
[00:42:28] catching up you really on this keph wrench rising kitchen I got a hot
[00:42:35] new I got a one you go do stand up and do this try try working on this bit this
[00:42:40] bit is who's bit is it it's my my new bit it's a good bit the first play I've
[00:42:47] written in my entire it's gonna be so funny when it bombs in front of not
[00:42:51] your fans I know that's what I'm afraid no it's a good bit no it'll work it'll
[00:42:56] work it's good bit but yeah no I got I gotta go but maybe afterwards I think
[00:43:01] the schwitz stays open to like 11 or 12 I'm I've become a fucking early early
[00:43:07] night early sleeper early riser mm-hmm yeah I'm kind of like a late sleeper early
[00:43:12] riser I do about two hours of sleep every night I wish I could fucking sleep more
[00:43:17] it sucks do yeah I'm gonna get to clean up your hairs I will after you're not
[00:43:21] gonna do it so disrespectful looks nice looking head I feel like a watch model
[00:43:32] now yeah they never have hairy hands no rumor Costanza was a hand model mm-hmm
[00:43:38] that one happened then what happened some guy spilled hot milk on him yeah
[00:43:42] hot come yeah Jerry somebody spilled hot come all over here what were you in
[00:43:50] the I don't know the come warehouse nice look at that it's like a little pile of
[00:43:55] pubes it looks like pubes yeah remember when George tried to fuck Elaine that
[00:43:59] believe this year for your girl yeah that one episode she's like oh there was a
[00:44:03] man here my room is not cleaning dude you know I do all the woman and the man
[00:44:08] stuff is just here for her to find that is so gross in a little pile it's fucking
[00:44:13] disgusting I see you're like see the pile knows the pile put it put her fingers
[00:44:21] in it and then just start touching yeah yeah yeah she's gonna shove that
[00:44:26] hand hair pussy your girlfriend's gonna put Nick's hair in her pussy yeah you
[00:44:37] can't talk this way when uh when what when she dumps man come on man no come on
[00:44:46] I'm gonna take like no of course not you're gonna have the mistake accident
[00:44:50] child first her career is gonna start going good
[00:44:53] her career is not gonna be going some hot guys gonna try and fuck her she's
[00:44:58] gonna be like doing like oh I have to do a sex scene with this guy and I'm like
[00:45:01] well that's okay and then we're gonna practice it's just a it's just it's just
[00:45:06] Brandon Wardell oh oh oh oh so I fucked us sorry Adam
[00:45:15] getting cut by Brandon would be the worst thing of all time dude that'd be an
[00:45:20] awful feeling I would walk into the that would be a fucking yeah I would you
[00:45:23] would have to kill Brandon I would kill Brandon you have to kill Brandon to death
[00:45:27] yeah I would yeah I just wouldn't deserve to you have to kill him or cut his cock
[00:45:33] off you'd have to cut his cock off yeah I mean I think that literally anyone
[00:45:37] else would be like whatever yeah anybody in the fucking world I don't know I
[00:45:42] don't I don't we're not you know in an open relationship or anything oh you're
[00:45:48] not oh fuck oh shit she said that to you guys I mean she didn't say it but we
[00:45:54] were behavior we have this game we play called family feud me and stop share
[00:46:00] a motorcycle and take turns going riding it into a pussy cut down on the
[00:46:10] your friends you yeah I know it is but you know we're trying to make her feel
[00:46:14] at home in New York and we're welcoming her but she is new to the city that is
[00:46:19] right that's true thanks for understanding but anyway yeah we won't do
[00:46:25] that anymore anyway but yeah I used to deal with that I used to deal with that
[00:46:33] like if you're an actor and you have to do like sexy and some stuff thank you
[00:46:38] for asking me as the best actor and most serious actor in the group yeah yeah
[00:46:42] like it let's say you're I want your current Sutter how do you explain to your
[00:46:46] wife that you wrote a scene where you're anally raped yeah exactly at the
[00:46:49] beginning of Sons of Anarchy exactly right and he really right yeah he brought
[00:46:53] himself into the show her Sutter is like uniquely stupid yeah like that's what
[00:46:59] makes Sons of Anarchy such a good show yeah he's like exactly as stupid as you
[00:47:03] would need to be to write that just sincerely right yeah you know if he was
[00:47:08] like just a smidge smarter yeah be like this is retarded yeah yeah but because
[00:47:13] he's that dumb he's like he made the most entertaining show right right of all
[00:47:18] time yeah just a motorcycle high school so he's the creator of the show he's the
[00:47:23] creator and then he wrote himself into it he wrote himself he Bundy his wife
[00:47:26] his wife in real life his case so peace ass so he's uh yeah so uh to uh he wrote
[00:47:34] himself into the show not him I mean plays a character on the show he plays
[00:47:38] big auto and my assumption is that to avoid coming off is like a Mary Sue
[00:47:43] you know you don't want to be like the best character on the show his character
[00:47:47] is in prison and is like just being beaten and raped and there's like a
[00:47:54] whole to say and episode that starts with him just being raped what yeah on
[00:48:00] your own show on his own one of the few perks of having your own show is that
[00:48:04] your character never has to get rid of getting fucked in his ass I think that
[00:48:09] that shows tremendous humility getting fucked in the ass yeah on your own show
[00:48:14] well we actually wrote a bit for this podcast where you have to suck our
[00:48:17] cocks yeah but I would only do it if I wrote it for myself you did write it
[00:48:21] no I didn't when did I write that but yesterday you'll have to show me the
[00:48:25] documents you don't remember no yeah you said I did you said before funny
[00:48:31] moms right before funny moms you wrote it yeah auto Delaney is the characters
[00:48:36] and let me see if I'm looking for the scene where he gets raped
[00:48:44] what were we talking about before that fuck man hold on I'm watching a you
[00:48:52] watching him get raped oh yeah they get his arms okay I think oh man I don't
[00:48:57] want to watch a rape oh no this is where they blind him when they blind him and
[00:49:02] rape a show of a broomstick in his eye in jail yeah why is this happening to him
[00:49:10] what the fuck what happened to his character why is he getting I think that
[00:49:14] was calling me by your name Nick actually yeah sorry what we're talking
[00:49:20] what why why is care you get fucked up in jail so much because he again he
[00:49:25] doesn't want to you know come off but but like what is it why is it care you
[00:49:29] getting raped doesn't he a motorcycle guys need a tough guy
[00:49:34] yeah the lee Tork is having men send it to auto cell each morning to rape him so
[00:49:39] it's not one guy it's like the cop on the show it's having multiple guys rape
[00:49:45] damn auto that's fucked up of a cop to do yeah to have a man raped if he I would
[00:49:54] I would ask for his badge number if that happened to me yeah
[00:49:57] sunset anarchy straw rapes I would be like please why is Adam in the bathroom and
[00:50:03] I'm on my phone you can't be going to the bathroom if I'm not doing my job
[00:50:07] god damn it dude I was taught I was I tried to fart in the microphone but it
[00:50:11] was a silent one in the day coffee I had a pee yeah why don't you piss into my
[00:50:17] mouth pal hmm I would what do you if I asked cuz I wouldn't you're very weird if
[00:50:26] you ask me to piss in your mouth I'd be like no thanks yeah I just got a trust
[00:50:29] that you're not gonna ask me to do that but as like broke code I would have to
[00:50:34] yeah you know that is true have you pissed anyone's mouth at him not a
[00:50:39] friend a lady perhaps I knew a guy in college that used to say that as an
[00:50:47] intimidation tactic he'd maybe I get maybe I should get back into that pissing
[00:50:51] into mouth to get it is no I've never been had my mouth piston yeah I'm not
[00:50:55] interested you would like to bottom in a piss play kind of situation but that
[00:50:59] would be bottoming from the top no he's saying he wants to get into topping
[00:51:02] people's mouths yeah you want to get into pissing the PPE I sometimes I have a
[00:51:08] real weak stream so I feel like I would be embarrassing like dribble I can't
[00:51:12] just make it you don't have control over your stream I'd have to be saving up and
[00:51:17] stuff you're the PPE tape is real by the way what do you mean what do you mean
[00:51:21] by the yeah how do you know it's about to drop dude no you know that you didn't
[00:51:24] see the trailer no I did not maybe people are talking like it's real now
[00:51:28] who is we're talking like it was real ten months yeah no no for like two hours
[00:51:33] and they're like oh no this was a fortune bit or prank and then no no who
[00:51:38] is people and what do you mean just apparently the PPE tapes could bet to
[00:51:42] drop no way dude I think it's real yeah you know you're a dipshit to
[00:51:49] believes everything Rachel Maddow says I've never watched Rachel Maddow
[00:51:53] not even show you love you want to be one of kiss and hold hands Rachel
[00:51:59] you want to know that's not you I respect her guys you want to talk with
[00:52:01] the boss guys want to get a K a wedding cake we're both these two grooms
[00:52:05] yeah we're both wearing tuxy yeah I told you guys my dad is like like
[00:52:12] always like sits watching mad-outs like you do you have no idea she used to be
[00:52:16] a beautiful woman you look at pictures of her in college she had long blonde
[00:52:20] hair she was gorgeous he's like mad that Rachel Maddow's a list I get it
[00:52:26] dude weird you know cuz you dance out there fucking and sucking yeah that's
[00:52:29] one less piece of pussy you do you think that's actually how much pussy you're
[00:52:33] gonna get your dad is gonna be clean it hey look nothing is off limits on the
[00:52:45] show except take the tar you do not ever criticize Tig or anyone associated with
[00:52:56] Netflix or Hulu or maybe even see so see so huh yeah see so is that still going
[00:53:02] on they gave it a business it was NBC though right I don't know I have no idea
[00:53:07] what the fuck see so what I was on see so oh yeah it's still that's still the
[00:53:13] only credit I have it's just stand up comedian is see so what about come
[00:53:17] town what about red eye oh you didn't do that it was doing stand up yeah that was
[00:53:22] a fake show where you in the where you in the final cut of like New York's
[00:53:29] giving follow-up clicking noise again oh yeah how long were you I gotta go
[00:53:35] Rachel Maddow hot we still got time do yeah we got like 10 minutes yeah you
[00:53:40] got it you got a postpone your spot yeah yeah Gensley yeah I gotta I'm do it the
[00:53:46] seller I'm on now you're fine you're fine not I'm fine are you nervous cuz you
[00:53:50] don't really do stand up shut up dude oh she didn't stand up all the time she
[00:53:55] was literally never hot dude she wasn't hot no she just had long hair
[00:53:59] let me look had she just had long hair she looks mashing but you she had an
[00:54:03] athletic neck I like an athletic neck you know that is a long neck dude oh yeah
[00:54:09] that is a powerful fit my whole penis yeah my whole she's got a wide strong
[00:54:16] neck she looks like she can eat giraffe pussy maybe that's how her lesbianism
[00:54:22] started with that long neck she was at the zoo and she was right by the giraffe
[00:54:28] can you imagine just being like upset just like you know I love Rachel Maddow
[00:54:33] yeah I know a lot of people are that much of a fucking little I watched it
[00:54:39] last time I was home because my parents watch it and it's it's just as dumb as
[00:54:43] Fox News it's just the other side it's not as smart as podcasts it's not a
[00:54:47] smart podcast yeah should we do some smart shit to end the episode guys we
[00:54:51] should the piss tape I think is real I think what about it what yeah why why
[00:54:57] why are we still hearing from James Comey I don't know why you're getting
[00:55:00] updates he's he pray loving dude he's like going he went on the view and shit
[00:55:05] all these fucking New York Times articles like look at James Comey's response
[00:55:08] Donald Trump it's like he's just some guy he doubled Hillary's opening week
[00:55:13] book sales oh really yeah he is and he got more than the fire and fury book
[00:55:20] to nice people for some reason are really interested in what James he's so
[00:55:23] tall yeah that's it it's because he's tall sick like how do you get that
[00:55:28] tall yeah I want to learn maybe is there a chapter about how you get tall because
[00:55:32] I would have bought it if it was yeah maybe you just squeeze yourself you could
[00:55:37] get because you got a lot of I play a mass yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe we could
[00:55:40] get like a tube a narrow tube for you to sleep in that would be good yeah like a
[00:55:45] big PVC pipe over time I would just become your elongate yeah like stop
[00:55:49] looking elongated yeah okay looking like a graduated cylinder so I think that
[00:55:56] there were flight records for his trip from this universe to Russia in 2013 and
[00:56:01] it doesn't he claims closed flight records that's all I need to know that
[00:56:06] there's a tape where he's being pissed on by hookers and asking them is this
[00:56:11] where Obama's cut and then playing with his turds and saying what these are the
[00:56:15] Obama's that's all I need to know is it right flight records prove it once and
[00:56:21] for all that that video exists so he said that it wasn't possible because he
[00:56:27] didn't spend overnight but according to the flight records he did spend the night
[00:56:32] so that was like the first evidence that the P tape is most certainly real at
[00:56:37] circumstances 100% yeah doesn't mean yeah what about Rudy Giuliani's becoming
[00:56:42] what is gonna be like a lawyer yeah yeah that rocks dude yeah Giuliani is ugly
[00:56:47] shit his bottom teeth are so fucked up look like shit you know he looks like
[00:56:51] his son the son of you guys what what are you talking about what the hell you
[00:56:56] guys had a child are you serious you look way more like Rudy Giuliani
[00:57:00] Rudy Giuliani that's not true yes you look like his mother and stop you look
[00:57:03] like a strong that's not true you're the father look like the father of Julian
[00:57:07] dad boy inherited the ball gene from you and the gay fucked up yeah pussy gene
[00:57:18] the guy who got damn I want that spaghetti so I got a
[00:57:23] second of my days big bowl of ketchup and French but that doesn't he keeps saying
[00:57:28] it sounds so good but I see I'm getting into hypnotism it's working I'm
[00:57:32] really reading these books about the power of suggestion is him it's just yes
[00:57:36] and so I just slip I slip things into in the conversation sort of is you
[00:57:42] start as a joke and then they become more serious and that's that's how
[00:57:46] casual racism casual hipster ironic racism turns into real race yeah well
[00:57:52] this podcast is basically trying to yeah well people listen to it for my
[00:57:56] voice you know the ASMR qualities of my I thought that nasally monotone
[00:58:01] I love getting my things that hit me to sell them to do because they want it to
[00:58:06] be yeah I that's I did a hypnotism thing but it was only because they didn't
[00:58:10] have there was six people in the audience it was an EJ's land yeah I
[00:58:13] remember those shows fucking Irwin Berwin bring that in every like three
[00:58:17] weeks the guy drove from Ohio I felt bad for him and so he's like he's like I
[00:58:22] need four volunteers and it's like well me and the two black guys aren't gonna
[00:58:26] raise our hands yeah but I'm a comic so I'm like all right I guess I'll fucking
[00:58:30] volunteer we go on stage and like he goes through his you know the rigmarole of
[00:58:35] of hypnotizing people and then you get to a point where you're like oh I'm
[00:58:38] supposed to be hypnotized because it's just more instructions you know you go
[00:58:43] up there and you sit and he's like close your eyes now lean back now breathe in
[00:58:46] lean back now breathe in now look at me now close your eyes now breathe in now
[00:58:50] stand up now pretend you're a chicken you know and it's like oh this is where
[00:58:54] like at this point I'm supposed to really yeah and it's like oh I thought I was
[00:58:59] just going through the steps oh but that was it yeah and then and then he's
[00:59:04] like he's like you know now you're wearing a hat I'm like I guess I'm wearing a
[00:59:07] hat you know because you don't want to be like this doesn't work none of us
[00:59:12] yeah you know and it's like we're also the audience you just feel bad for this
[00:59:17] guy if what if it was real it would be so tight right yeah if well there was
[00:59:25] something there was this one dumb lady on the show or who was just an audience
[00:59:30] member who was like she's like yeah I don't remember anything no she's just
[00:59:34] wanted to say that yeah cuz I had sex with her oh really yeah I did I think
[00:59:40] good as a few ex that would be good yeah yeah a podcast host rapes a woman at a
[00:59:46] hypnotism show right that shit yeah but I like I watch a Chappo trap I'm gay I
[00:59:54] watched this season on SVU yeah we're looking for we're looking for Virgil
[00:59:59] Texas we found a semen all over a man's face we found a scene it's even all over
[01:00:07] someone's anal fissures that would be a fun that's who you yeah if Justin gets
[01:00:12] kicked off the show because he raped someone in a hypnotism show and then the
[01:00:18] twist is it was you yeah that is a twist they did Antifa versus alt-right episode
[01:00:26] this season oh really yeah where it's like a sort of a tomy laren is like
[01:00:31] kind of characters teach speaking at a college and then she gets raped by damn
[01:00:37] really yeah yeah Jesus Christ fuck I love that like I mean like they took a they
[01:00:44] took like one of the like pieces of wood that like was holding up a sign they
[01:00:49] broke it off and they put it in her pussy why I like it because they have to
[01:00:52] like modify the way things happen so they go all that me too shit they have to
[01:00:56] do like an episode where a famous movie producer is raping women but then he
[01:01:00] gets raped and they have to find his rapist otherwise it's not you know yeah
[01:01:04] yeah far enough away from I just watched one last night I'm Olivia's like after
[01:01:09] a show I still see him as a victim he was sexy dude I love you got raped on
[01:01:17] the show no really Jesus Christ yeah that's a lot that's for you the child of
[01:01:24] rape or something just identify the guy's cock no yeah I think so which episode
[01:01:32] is Olivia Benson sexually assaulted in in the season 9 episode undercover
[01:01:37] Benson poses as an inmate and a women's prison to investigate and the legend
[01:01:41] oh she doesn't get race she gets almost raped right he was a captain Lowell
[01:01:44] Harris attacks her attempts to force her to perform oral sex on yeah oh she
[01:01:50] doesn't get raped though but she gets a dick right in her face yeah then she
[01:01:53] identifies the guy based on his day that's cool yeah I watched an episode last
[01:01:57] night where the it led you to believe halfway through that it was Orthodox
[01:02:01] Jews running a child sex ring yeah and then you find out that it's just another
[01:02:05] kid in his class how about a show called claw in order and it's like a
[01:02:08] Hispanic guy in a big lobster costume right behind he's like where is it
[01:02:13] repos mama goes the rape is you looking for a rapist or rape a rape us yeah
[01:02:21] yeah yeah yeah don't there's that repos the rapist he's like I'm so hungry
[01:02:28] have you ever ever in a rapist yeah they have my dad they're kind of fucked up
[01:02:33] yeah they're not like syrup on tacos better yeah tacos are way better yeah
[01:02:37] it's like if I ever had a rip they try to admit I think they try to make it a
[01:02:40] Venezuelan place over on a group oh yeah yeah Andy asked me if I want to go there
[01:02:45] well yeah it's not good stop fucking bragging dude that anyone's hanging out
[01:02:49] with you yeah we get it my soccer Pilar is better
[01:02:52] people are he lars next to here the cuba yeah that's much it's much better
[01:02:57] than that guacoco place my cocos alright it's not bad no yeah I didn't really
[01:03:01] fuck with people are that much really when they're there once you get that rope
[01:03:04] of yeah the rope of yes really good yeah yeah yeah fuck with that I'm gonna start
[01:03:09] making sweet plant chicken and rice is also really good yeah I like that and I'll
[01:03:14] lobster cost I want to go eat grapes yeah I got a bunch of grapes in my place
[01:03:18] I'm about to go I'm about to go home I know grapes I know watch you ever you
[01:03:23] drive here bike do you ever put grapes in a freezer is a summertime snack of
[01:03:28] course man I'm all over fucking it's a nice frozen grapes nice way to snack
[01:03:32] frozen grapes are my snack motherfucker all right I don't know my shit
[01:03:37] I'm not doing that for my mom my mom had one lesbian friend growing up well she
[01:03:41] she taught me well and the show with this mill away first are very good I'm
[01:03:46] so on board with that yep and I'll do it for today's or this week oh so yeah
[01:03:51] but come to the show though in Baltimore on the fucking sixth yeah at the
[01:03:57] Autobot we're probably doing it the guy was supposed to call me today and he
[01:04:00] didn't so maybe we're not doing it hey and if you didn't like this episode I
[01:04:03] apologize I didn't realize we're supposed to be doing it so I'm tired
[01:04:07] whatever we're all tired we're all tired I biked like 15 miles I like to
[01:04:13] lot baby yeah I'm tired of shit I gotta go back and make the speaker mount keep
[01:04:17] doing speakers speaker work yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay goodbye bye