[00:00:00] Let's begin motherfuckers.

[00:00:02] Check check we're good. Yeah, I think so I tried to do levels this time guys

[00:00:07] So if they're bad, yeah, it's my fault. It's your fault. So what?

[00:00:11] Producer stuff. I'm on the mother fucking ones and twos super producer Scott's

[00:00:17] Scott storage, but no that wasn't so I guess what everybody wants to hear about today a

[00:00:23] Nice post from our

[00:00:25] Friends over on reddit it. Yeah

[00:00:30] Chappo trap house subreddit. I yeah by from user hope for myself 90

[00:00:39] Please stop making fun of people for being virgins capital B

[00:00:43] It's tough because I'm a leftist. I love this sub and I work hard to be a good person and practice good praxis

[00:00:49] But I'm also 28 and a virgin

[00:00:51] No

[00:00:53] Watching y'all make fun of people. I don't understand why you like your that has happened

[00:00:57] You're allowed to do a little bit of blackface. Mm-hmm. If you're on the left. Yeah, yeah

[00:01:01] Yeah, just to tell you all and they're not they're not about this look. I yeah

[00:01:05] I'll say I don't say y'all but I can get it. I why can't I get a little tape?

[00:01:09] Let me go around and big wax lips you a little take one big fake black ass lips

[00:01:14] I'll talk like a white person. Hey black lips, you know, that makes me smooch. Yeah. Yeah, okay or no lips

[00:01:21] Canary yellow suit big Steve Harvey. You can uh-huh you could do that. I'm like this is my praxis

[00:01:27] That is it's good practice. This is how people know that I'm a giant scold, but I'm also cool like a black man

[00:01:33] I didn't know what practice was for a long time. What is practice is the application of I

[00:01:38] Yeah, so just how you live your life is that what practice? Yes, but it's like the practical application of like ideology. Exactly

[00:01:46] Yeah, so practice would be like I don't know

[00:01:49] Apologizing for being racist or letting black women go through the ball. Yeah big boy

[00:01:53] But buffet or like not not buying a soda stream because the money goes to Israel right? Yeah, yeah

[00:01:59] So for me every time I suck titties, that's good practice. Yeah

[00:02:02] Making sure making sure that that's political

[00:02:04] Yeah, it is political our our women's pleasure. That's one of my main political ideals sex is political

[00:02:11] I think that's like a big part of the me too. It's about being into rough trade gay sex

[00:02:17] Practice when you get your ass blown out

[00:02:20] We'll get there cuz that's where this goes at a certain point

[00:02:26] Yeah

[00:02:27] Watching y'all make fun of people for being virgins or calling people virgins really hurts

[00:02:31] obviously, I'm a dude

[00:02:33] Posting here on an alt because my normal username can be linked to me in real life. Oh, what you might get fired from your parents house

[00:02:42] Well, it turns out that guy Brian who spent all his time posting on like cling on forums

[00:02:48] Political podcast. No, did you know that that guy doesn't fuck? Yeah, we can't have any incels on our Star Trek

[00:02:56] Brian you get in here. You're gonna we're gonna have to fight you cuz you don't get

[00:03:00] Yeah

[00:03:02] Posting here in fact, I'm sure people would be ecstatic to find out you don't want to fuck kids. Yeah, oh whoever this guy is

[00:03:09] Yeah, sure sure let the people know. Yeah, I just want pussy, but I can't get it

[00:03:14] Yes, it'd be like a little Hans Christian Anderson story. Uh-huh the pedophile that turned out to be a normal unfuck

[00:03:22] Posting here on an alt because my normal username can be linked to me in real life

[00:03:25] But I post your daily most of you have probably upvoted my post at one point or another

[00:03:32] Yeah, I was upvoted today. Yeah. Oh, that's up mom

[00:03:39] Yeah, mom

[00:03:42] Hot pocket

[00:03:44] How'd a good day today? We're gonna celebrate by watching match games together

[00:03:49] Nine hot pockets and think about all the upvoting that happened to me

[00:03:53] Less upvoting more up-dicking, but yeah, I'm old

[00:04:01] While it doesn't bother me much anymore

[00:04:04] It's really bad practice to call people virgins as an insult or make fun of them for being virgins

[00:04:10] Insels are bad not because they're virgins, but because they blame women for their cause. Oh, no, they're bad because of virgins

[00:04:16] That's why people laugh at them

[00:04:18] Nobody's like and the butt of your the butt of your joke isn't like

[00:04:24] The extremely attractive, you know, like black eyes that beat their girlfriends. Why yeah, I'm isn't misogyny really

[00:04:32] It's your pickings on these people because they're fucking loses sure massaging is also bad

[00:04:36] But there's plenty of people in society that are yes massaging is said also fuck way more than you do in your bed. Oh totally

[00:04:42] Oh, I just fuck the most. Yeah, it's like it's the guy that's like, you know

[00:04:47] Knox's girlfriend around sometimes but has like an amazing body and like fuck some more than that

[00:04:52] It's not you can't easily make fun of him. Yeah, because he's still even in your eyes higher status than you are sure

[00:04:59] Also, can't these people just go back into the shadows like is it can it just be a mark of shame to not fuck sure

[00:05:06] Yeah, not like an identity or do something and get get some push it's one of them for their shitty beliefs

[00:05:11] Not because they are virgins impossible, but seriously, that's all I have to say

[00:05:15] Please think before using virgin as an insult. It's just a state of being

[00:05:20] So it was racist. That's just a state

[00:05:24] There I mean if you're a race if honestly if you're a fucking racist and you just sit in your basement

[00:05:28] You don't interact with black people ever. Yeah, there's zero impact from that. It doesn't mean anything sure

[00:05:36] Okay, yeah, I'm down with that. I mean that is just you're just saying if you're in your mind

[00:05:42] Don't like black people don't ever do anything racist who to another person so

[00:05:48] If you're a child, that's not why you make fun of people

[00:05:51] You don't make fun of people to correct some kind of social ill you make fun of people because you're insecure and you feel better about

[00:06:01] Now you do fuck it's

[00:06:04] Like fundamental misunderstanding

[00:06:06] Of being funny. Thanks for reading. I love y'all anyways. No, you don't you don't know who any of these people are no

[00:06:13] It's a community fake name. It's a community. I get where you're coming from. It's a bit bizarre attacking chuds is virgin man

[00:06:20] Baby Luzio's while we have almost daily threads like I'm 27. I live at my parents

[00:06:24] I'm unemployed and depressed and also I've got anxiety. Wait, what is it?

[00:06:28] What is it cuz people say it all the time? It's like a horror movie term, right? Yes

[00:06:33] Cyber what is it underground? Well, yeah, but it's humanoid. It's it describes MAGA people

[00:06:42] I don't know. I used to just call Chris Hudson. Yeah, it's just

[00:06:46] Huddy well that makes sense. Yeah, it was funny when I did it

[00:06:54] I think a lot of us I look for a lot of us we still hold on to the capitalist idea of success

[00:06:58] It's been handed to us

[00:07:01] Then we need to have money and a partner and kids

[00:07:05] Right and all that to be seen is good and that's not possible for a lot of us

[00:07:09] I know that's not possible for me because I've been unemployed for years at this point

[00:07:13] And you somehow still have a place to live and food and you get online all day to complain about not fucking and being made fun of

[00:07:20] Your fellow friends. I mean, I don't understand how that's a flaw in the system

[00:07:24] The system if society's most worthless members are still housed this guy has just completely unproductive

[00:07:33] He offers literally I don't know

[00:07:39] He has an iron lung and he's unread

[00:07:42] We need an iron pocket pussy for these guys. Yeah, that's why I'm just pumping their cock

[00:07:46] No, because in a system if it was like in a functioning system

[00:07:50] This guy wouldn't even have whatever amount of self-esteem he has that allows him to post it

[00:07:55] Well the problem with the growth of socialism in the last like two years is that it's become it's gotten to the point where it's

[00:08:07] No, it's not people it's about by mass my pounds. Yeah, too many facts

[00:08:14] The same way eldest is fuck the most out of all of us. Yeah, you can't buy weight. Yeah

[00:08:18] Elis is

[00:08:20] By mass had sex with three women combined weight

[00:08:24] Ten thousand pounds

[00:08:25] No, no the problem is is that people use like a critique of neoliberalism and then expand it to like every problem that they

[00:08:33] Experience as a result of their shitty personalities

[00:08:36] Yeah, and they're shitty. No pussy getting lose. Yeah, you could be a loser and be like oh

[00:08:40] New liberalism is getting me again, you know, yeah capitalism made my dick small. Mm-hmm. Yeah

[00:08:48] That's not exactly that's not how it works

[00:08:52] But then like people are just basically taking this grievance with capitalism and then encompassing all their other issues into it

[00:08:58] The problem with capitalism is that I is a rich man and still not technically rich

[00:09:02] Yeah, you can't buy that paint by that Frank for zeta painting for 1.7 million dollar. So you're you're broke as shit

[00:09:08] I'm literally a fucking poor. I just bought my parents. Yeah, I was never have sex

[00:09:12] Yeah, the street urchin

[00:09:14] I mean, I don't fuck and it's because women know that I don't have enough money to buy that Frank

[00:09:18] You're like his Frank for zeta. I'm like shut up

[00:09:23] Invented fantasy art

[00:09:27] You see a fucking hot naked woman stabbing a dragon in the face wait, where are you going?

[00:09:34] It's the only kind of art I understand

[00:09:36] It's something that makes me think of sweet guitar rips Saxon cover. Yeah, right exactly

[00:09:42] Let's not talk about floating castles

[00:09:46] A saber tooth tiger with three rows of tits being written by a black he man

[00:09:52] Black he man twins

[00:09:54] Big juicy nipples

[00:10:00] Princes of the universe. That's right brother. Wait keep reading this. Yeah, I will get to the one with the guy

[00:10:06] Yeah, I will alright pacing it out man. He shot out to whoever

[00:10:10] Sent out a macapia bugs life. Yeah, that was a nice gift

[00:10:14] I'm looking forward to seeing it on Blu-ray finally. You know, I could use some gifts guys

[00:10:18] I use gifts to let's all give out our rest. Let's docks our soap mine is 200 heart Street apartment, too

[00:10:23] Brooklyn, New York one two zero six. I don't give a shit semi stuff

[00:10:27] Yeah, you're right and people also found it anyways when I they cross-referenced shooting

[00:10:32] Well, you know what they didn't but somebody like posted my neighbor's address, and it's like I'll just give

[00:10:42] Can you get this to Nick please?

[00:10:44] Isn't that guy that has the decal in the back of his truck that they're all hate no new friends no new friends? Yeah

[00:10:50] Yeah

[00:10:55] Okay, sorry I'm trying to find because keep talking well I find the the word is escalates, okay

[00:11:01] I don't know this is kind of ridiculous just like well. Yeah, that's the pro. I don't know

[00:11:06] I I feel like improve yourself brother or just see a prostitute. I really don't I mean look

[00:11:12] I know that's your favorite work alright now you're trying to spin your sex slavery

[00:11:17] You're helping a sex slavery into being seriously if you're 28 years old and you're losing your fucking mind because you haven't fucked just

[00:11:27] You want women to want to fuck you you want it you want to know no

[00:11:30] He's a thing you should just go fuck a process

[00:11:33] Just go fuck a prostitute is not gonna be the same

[00:11:35] But at least you wouldn't won't be in a position where you've never fucked

[00:11:39] Exactly I guess that and then your whole identity is virgin you know so like if it's just a threshold where you need to fuck one

[00:11:46] Time and then you can also like you're not this you the right way and be like you're actually pretty good at fucking and she'll like

[00:11:51] Get that guy some comments. Yeah, she'll make you feel that fucking more. It's about like get a fucking job

[00:11:56] Yeah, you know yeah brush your teeth right. I didn't brush my teeth today. I'm a fucking millionaire

[00:12:03] That's one of those capitalist ideas. It's implanted in our heads. Oh, yeah

[00:12:08] Use condoms you yeah Trojans trying to sell latex. Yeah, who do you think owns the condom?

[00:12:15] He's do-pont mm-hmm. Okay. They're trying to fucking peddle their coke brother by the way

[00:12:20] It's not good for your dick to have latex on your dick. Yeah, what's that?

[00:12:23] That's a chemical. Yeah pussy is natural brother. I don't want that natural pussy chem all over my fucking hog

[00:12:31] I don't need to use condoms, baby. I used to fuck black girl

[00:12:37] What does that mean shut up

[00:12:39] Shut up y'all yeah, what do you guys think of this for having anal sex dip in the boss hug in the mud?

[00:12:50] That sounds like a Frank present a page

[00:12:53] It's just a pig demon

[00:12:57] Viking cat

[00:13:00] His dick is like a battle

[00:13:02] Just cutting a woman's pussy

[00:13:04] Half

[00:13:09] Gold

[00:13:13] That aesthetic it rules that's a great aesthetic. It's cool. Yeah. Yeah was it Zeppelin wasn't metal

[00:13:19] But they were really into like Lord of the Rings style fantasy shit

[00:13:22] Yeah, but they never had that aesthetic. This is more like

[00:13:25] Like fucking I know it like like he man Dion Conan. Yeah guys it's saying

[00:13:30] Like that shit Ronnie James D. Oh man my James D. Oh RIP

[00:13:36] I know more man or definitely a fantasy or a band

[00:13:40] Jackson like I said earlier. Yeah

[00:13:42] Dude, that's sick though. That's when did he was he was Frank for Zeta active like the 60s

[00:13:48] 60s early set of the 80s. I mean he like I

[00:13:53] Think he died in I don't know could he shred guitar

[00:13:57] I

[00:14:00] Use the first guy to have a double neck guitar. Oh very cool. I love how much time that saves

[00:14:06] You know, you don't have to pick up a second guitar

[00:14:09] Yeah on top of being unemployed virgin fail sons not there's anything wrong with that

[00:14:14] They waste their free time promoting capitalism in the patriarchy. So that's why

[00:14:18] That's what

[00:14:20] Bro hit the fucking gym. Yeah get some hobbies. I

[00:14:23] Don't know man. They should be the Vanguard, but they've chosen to be traders instead. I don't think it's wrong

[00:14:30] They should be the Vanguard so the leaders of the socialist revolution should be very

[00:14:34] There was a tweet in like 2010 and I can't remember who the fuck did it

[00:14:38] But one of those weird Twitter guys it was like in the future socialist utopia my asthma and anxiety will exempt me for any kind of

[00:14:45] Physical labor my role will be anime appraiser

[00:14:48] It was Tony homo, yeah, it's like and it's just be even exactly right like that's that's like on par with

[00:14:57] That's like Donald Trump is gonna be president tweets for my 2000. Yeah, so sure

[00:15:02] Yeah, that's like that's a fucking crystal ball right there. Yeah

[00:15:06] Oh fuck he doesn't tweet anymore. He was really funny someone someone's mic does that it's one of these chords doesn't work

[00:15:13] No, is it buzzing? No, it's just if someone it's might be mine. Anyway, we're good now

[00:15:19] Sorry, stop super producer stuff on the motherfucking ones and yeah, this is the best comment right here

[00:15:25] I think the idea that right wingers are largely in cells or somehow just matter about their dick size or sex life is basically

[00:15:30] R slash nice guys material as if sex is some sort of gift bestowed upon people others guys just reasonable

[00:15:36] Where's the one where about the guy I'm trying to find it because I read through this quickly

[00:15:42] Oh, here it is hundred percent agree with you on a side note

[00:15:45] Opie hit me up if you're in the Northwest and want to bang out an androgynous dude

[00:15:54] They should go get her that's that's someone trying to get some fucking that someone using their community to get some to get some sex

[00:16:02] And then the guy says like exact opposite side of the states

[00:16:06] But if not I might have taken you up on that offer. So I like that listening to chappo literally turns you gay

[00:16:14] Maybe the guy is gay

[00:16:16] I don't think no gay guys would fuck by now. Yeah, right?

[00:16:20] Yeah, if you live around Detroit and are cool with coming to Canada

[00:16:23] You can say hi to this transcuity if you want we can hook up to none of these people can see each other

[00:16:28] Yeah, they're just doing it from their thoughts. Yeah sight unseen. Yeah, we'll just fucking absolute stranger right

[00:16:34] Yeah, to post on red who agreed to fuck someone to travel to a different state to fuck them who says he's never fucked

[00:16:42] By the way, but I mean it's a trans woman. So I mean it's like is that even really like

[00:16:48] China I mean it would be like if the guy was like hey, can I put my dick on your pocket?

[00:16:54] You like in the pocket of your jeans I'd be like yeah fuck it. I don't care why not you know

[00:17:00] It's not like they're giving up pussy so much. It's just allowing someone access to oh, I think that's pussy

[00:17:06] Yeah, okay, no, it's surgery surgical pussy whatever. I'm not wrong

[00:17:11] Shame although there are a lot of cuties in Florida

[00:17:15] Assuming you're from there that would definitely eagerly take you even if you're a little bicurious

[00:17:19] What the fuck this guy baby this is taking it weird guys says or if you're in the Midwest and don't mind non-androgynous

[00:17:26] Jude dudes hey if you just want to have full-blown gay sex I mean it's gay sex with their

[00:17:33] Androgynous yeah, I mean these people are lip liner does yeah

[00:17:37] Can I still fuck you if I'm not in the Northwest or the OP wait so every

[00:17:43] Now they're all just having gay sex

[00:17:45] Not that there's anything wrong with it if this guy's gay

[00:17:51] Fuck this is kind of turning heartwarming now. It's kind of sweet. It is kind of sweet

[00:17:56] This is I mean his a completely obnoxious post. Yeah has maybe resulted in some fucking

[00:18:02] Or at least a little confidence from like I could fuck these people from reddit

[00:18:06] You know they're sexing each other now at least that'd be cool

[00:18:09] I mean I good for them wait can you read the one about the poor about porn?

[00:18:14] Yeah, this one something that is considered a necessary part of life quoted by whom you don't have to do what anyone else

[00:18:22] Considers necessary for you. You are the master of your own life

[00:18:25] You say what is the necessary part of your life and no one else your life is yours to enjoy other people can have sex

[00:18:31] Themselves if they want to you can masturbate it's supposed to be somewhat similar to sex

[00:18:36] You can masturbate to pornography too if you have ethical qualms

[00:18:40] Consuming

[00:18:45] Wait, okay, so we were saying this before if you have ethical problems about watching commercial pornography go for

[00:18:51] Non-commercial pornography online, which is 100% revenge porn. Yeah, that's the old the only time someone's putting up

[00:18:58] Like man fucks Turkish wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[00:19:10] You have ethical qualms with that too. Yeah drawings

[00:19:18] There is no shame

[00:19:20] This is what this funny, too. It's like you are making a decision is that's like that's like when like a prison punk is like

[00:19:26] You know what I am a girl after being read

[00:19:30] They're like hello boys guess who's you know not completely remapped I love it here

[00:19:39] I've been a lot of great guys

[00:19:41] It's like oh for some reason Diane killed herself in the showers she wrapped the

[00:19:46] An extension cord around there now. I thought she seemed so happy as a woman

[00:19:52] Fortunately she had a moment of clarity for 30 seconds

[00:19:55] Blue or fucking brains out anyways, I can recommend physical exercise for the fatness and for the depression

[00:20:02] It helped me buy each day when I ate depression

[00:20:04] I mean, that's the thing if you're just fat as hell and you depress. It's like you just got to do shit

[00:20:09] You got to get your life going the right way. No, that's the other thing too is

[00:20:12] I'm kind of jealous of these guys because the thing is is if you have real depression like me

[00:20:15] Yeah, my which is mine is real. There's a spay yours is the only real. Yeah, I'm perfect. Yeah. It's literally nothing wrong

[00:20:22] Your depression is perfect. There's nothing to improve there's nothing for me to be depressed about well

[00:20:28] When I sit around and everything Frank presented, I don't you're right. So honestly, maybe you're not the yeah

[00:20:33] Another is a pretty fun. You need to be four racing wheels. Yeah

[00:20:37] Yeah, I

[00:20:38] Don't know what to do. I have all this money

[00:20:40] The Frisetta and they think that capitalism is the problem. Well, I proved that wrong by being incredibly rich. I still want to die

[00:20:49] And I still don't have health insurance, so I can't talk to anyone about it

[00:20:54] Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, you could you should go to therapy. Yeah, probably

[00:20:58] I won't do it. I'm gonna get another race

[00:21:00] Yeah, why don't you just just a consultation? Yeah, this is where people on the left need to conduct self-help outside of politics

[00:21:08] Yeah, that's not just the left. That's every what the fuck every single person. Yeah, um, I don't I can't get a job

[00:21:14] And I want to kill myself all the time. Oh, I guess I'll just sit here and quietly think about voting for Bernie Sanders

[00:21:21] And that'll solve it. I'll just close my eyes and imagine

[00:21:26] some

[00:21:27] light-skinned but freckled black woman with natural hair patting me on the back

[00:21:31] Saying thank you for your help at the soup kitchen today

[00:21:41] I have anxiety

[00:21:47] I couldn't ever actually

[00:21:49] And for you to think to expect that of me is actually able to write I'm gonna go on Twitter and yell at people for not respecting my

[00:21:57] mental retardation

[00:21:59] Not including me in the M4A campaign because I'm so mentally retarded

[00:22:04] Be able to make every decision about anything involving disabled people

[00:22:08] By the way, it's a now that I don't have a tooth and won't for a few more months. It's able not to fuck me

[00:22:13] Yeah, that makes sense if you're a real ally. Yeah, you have to fuck this disabled man

[00:22:18] Speaking into this microphone right now. Did you read the part where they were like neckbeards as an ableist term? Yeah?

[00:22:23] Yeah

[00:22:28] You could shave it

[00:22:33] I'm sorry, that's how fucking fat your gobbly ash is. I mean it's just yeah

[00:22:38] This is a brutal this is a brutal threat

[00:22:40] I was saying before is like it's it's sad that like if you're in cell

[00:22:44] They feel like they have two options and one is running people over with a passenger van or being like

[00:22:50] Calling people racist on Twitter. Yeah, you know you can do more stuff than that

[00:22:55] You don't see in sex work aren't really mutually exclusive. That's some of the best intimacy I've ever had

[00:23:00] They hold on that's some of the best intimacy I ever had and I'm gonna skip a couple sentences

[00:23:08] Everyone I've ever fucked has been a sex worker

[00:23:14] Let's go back to the first ends that's some of the best intimacy I've ever had

[00:23:17] Everyone I've ever fucked has been a sex or you have nothing to compare it to yeah

[00:23:22] Well, right intimacy with a friend or your mother. Yeah, I get non sexual intimacy

[00:23:28] We could fuck your friend you support a worker while doing it. So technically it's even better than sex in a relationship

[00:23:33] Oh, they're a worker. That's true. I agree. You have to fuck

[00:23:39] Somebody goes somebody goes maybe you could fuck a sex worker and then somebody responds this person doesn't have any income

[00:23:46] Hilarious. Yeah, two broke to fuck so they have any money from their parents. Yeah

[00:23:53] You say have an internet connection. No way. They don't have fucking money. Yeah

[00:23:57] Damn shit sucks. Yeah, I'm not to be a bootstraps ass motherfucker, but bro. Sometimes just yeah

[00:24:04] Yeah, just fucking in part of yourself become a podcast superstar

[00:24:07] Exactly start your own podcast every five and six you come across

[00:24:11] Whoa sevens and eight that was so funny. How bad you got on last night. I did not it was that was a shooter shoot, baby

[00:24:18] That was so funny trying to fuck last night

[00:24:20] I wasn't even trying to be like there's like nine people standing around this girl came out to the show and stops like

[00:24:26] We're all leaving stop puts his arm in a show. He was like it was really nice meeting you okay

[00:24:30] I didn't immediately shoots like everyone a look and then Lewis goes to me. It was so nice meeting

[00:24:37] Everyone just burst out laughing it is great to have

[00:24:39] The girls circle. I know the hater 100 that was 100% 100%

[00:24:45] Lewis now your boys are always gonna be haters every well. No ideally not but oh

[00:24:50] That was that was such that was so funny. I tried to hit you up

[00:24:55] But I got I was you can't be come on don't be insecure about on Friday night. I was secure about it

[00:24:59] I had like a night where you gotta laugh at yourself women like that I do that's how I did that girl up and be like

[00:25:05] You know how I remember how embarrassed I was when I touched your body for all of my foot first of all

[00:25:10] It was a fine amount of time. Did you?

[00:25:14] Nothing I didn't caress this bitch. I got your fucking shoulder for a second. Well, so you you sexually assaulted

[00:25:20] Fingered of stranger was like

[00:25:24] There's more this came from the fucking beam is like I wish I could be inside there. Oh, yeah

[00:25:29] We haven't we haven't even got to the fact that Morgan Freeman is bad boy Morgan Freeman that woman

[00:25:36] Wow

[00:25:37] What was I gonna say?

[00:25:39] Yeah, whatever man. Well, did she look good?

[00:25:42] Using insults like that just tells young men that even progressive. Let me get a second shot at it, baby girl without Lewis around yeah

[00:25:50] Lewis so funny these guys came in they're like yeah

[00:25:53] Like where do we get tickets and like Lewis is like just go inside sit down

[00:25:56] But he's like assembling blunts and he's like guys

[00:26:00] And he's just outside so it just looks like a homeless

[00:26:04] Person just like no you just fucking take it. You just take whatever you want

[00:26:09] Like Lewis no one knows you're the only person that knows you're a comedian

[00:26:17] Was rolling a blunt

[00:26:19] You just had weed on a barrel that weird barrel of the standing room. Oh

[00:26:26] Yeah using insults like that just tells young men and even progressive or leftist people judging by the same standards that

[00:26:33] Conservatives and chauvinist do just that the latter two groups are honest about it

[00:26:37] You can't insult a guy's masculinity and then wonder why those guys are driven into the arms of red pillars and trad

[00:26:42] Oh hilarious look your options are either be made fun of or not hear the people making fun of you

[00:26:49] I mean, it's not no, there's never gonna be any kind of like revolution where

[00:26:53] Yeah, you're going to feel good about your situation the answer is always then you become fuckable

[00:26:59] Yeah, which isn't gonna happen just be ashamed of the fact that you can't fuck right just don't use it as an identity

[00:27:05] It's like having a micro penis. Don't say I'm a proud micro penis man

[00:27:10] And like you do the whole capitalism's fault. Yeah, yeah exactly

[00:27:15] Yeah, I mean I like that people like fucking try to make fun of Hitler for having a micro penis

[00:27:20] It's like he almost took over the world. Yeah, he almost took over the fucking world. It was fucking close. Yeah. Yeah

[00:27:28] Mad respect mad respect for doll guy, dude

[00:27:31] It's doll, but it's Hitler that's it

[00:27:33] Have a half inch and he almost fucking did it imagine what he would do the biggest he probably would or what?

[00:27:40] He probably would have continued at art school

[00:27:42] He would have fucked in art school and been a terrible artist and people were like, yeah drunk your paintings are so good

[00:27:49] You're like your mustache is so cool

[00:27:52] It'd be a million people with Hitler must have yeah, yeah the Hitler clit tickler. Yeah, that's what they'd call it

[00:27:57] Mm-hmm Michael Jordan is the only person brave enough to try it again. Yeah after world war two about the Holocaust

[00:28:03] Yeah, the whole thing brave enough to try it. No, no, no the the must they're in beta testing right now

[00:28:11] Yeah, um do we have more of this thread yeah being cool sexually active and well-adjusted is definitely seen as the ideal

[00:28:18] And a lot of left to spaces like if you have the right

[00:28:22] Dude, there's nothing to do with the left

[00:28:25] Right, why does everything involve the left you shouldn't you want to be the fucking best version of yourself that you could be you're a fucking loser

[00:28:32] Right now change some shit about yourself

[00:28:35] What the fuck get to be fat and bald and toothless cool be a cool guy like that

[00:28:41] You know I'm saying you guys get it I

[00:28:46] Don't know man. Yeah, yeah politics doesn't really come into it when you're at a bar and have to attract people through charisma

[00:28:51] Sex is weird and illogical. Nope makes it's pretty obvious. Yeah, there's a very there's pretty basic ass rules

[00:28:57] Yeah, you go into a bar and then through the cheese that's still left in your teeth you loudly announce I voted for Bernie Sanders

[00:29:06] And if the women don't fuck you well doesn't make them bad people. They're just not educated yet

[00:29:11] Yeah, I'm flits about why you should fuck yeah

[00:29:17] Now that the small dicks thing was pushed by white supremacists who wanted to argue that black eyes were big dumb dumb sex machines

[00:29:26] Awesome. Yeah, so she's like sort of

[00:29:30] White supremacist argument, which is like it's cool to have a small dick actually

[00:29:34] That's that's they're sort of making the same argument

[00:29:37] No, it's not cool to not fuck and it's not cool to have a small dick. Yeah, and you should be ashamed of yourself

[00:29:43] But also you know you dig doesn't even have to be yeah

[00:29:46] It doesn't really have to be that big pretty sure a lot of the micro dick guys fuck micro well

[00:29:50] I don't know about micro dicks. They still do

[00:29:52] You know look at a small dick will never prevent you from fucking it'll just prevent you from fucking well

[00:29:57] Yeah, you can always girls are gonna come right well listen you get some nice angles you learn some stuff about your body

[00:30:03] You get a you learn how to eat pussy good

[00:30:05] You know that part of your comedic identity. Yeah, you make that your whole thing

[00:30:10] How you're the pussy eating guy?

[00:30:15] You know you figure it out knock a tooth out so you can lick clits better

[00:30:18] I'm really trying to not make fun of Chinese people on stage and like the last three shows I did

[00:30:22] There's just Chinese people there

[00:30:24] And I can't help myself

[00:30:27] They just say something or they look at me in a

[00:30:31] Yeah, and that's the best part of my set a hundred percent

[00:30:35] Yeah, I don't huge up rorries laughter whenever you fucking hold your eyes back real. Yeah. Yeah

[00:30:39] He took out some tape and taped his eyes back last night. You did it on stage. Yeah, he had a gong

[00:30:45] I thought you were just doing it. No, no, I'm trying all new sorts of things

[00:30:48] You're trying to like reef define what state a

[00:30:53] Comono and one of those fucking conical patty

[00:30:57] The entire club with incense

[00:30:59] It's not like Jasmine you could lip this 30 minutes before we said everyone's like what is this?

[00:31:05] Then I come out like quickly fanning myself

[00:31:12] Fuck me

[00:31:19] Did my whole

[00:31:21] The Chinese

[00:31:40] To the crowd yeah, I'm pretty sure a lot of the small big dick thing is just a complicated and fucked up sexuality

[00:31:45] Developed by racist guys. Oh, yeah, it's racist guys

[00:31:49] And it's right into the culture and it's just supremely toxic anywhere it exists

[00:31:53] It's saying with prison rape jokes for instance

[00:31:55] How is it racist to say that big dicks are good when black people have big dicks in fact?

[00:32:00] It's reverse racist. You know, it's like saying why people are worse

[00:32:04] Implication is that black people are like sex crazy. Oh, yeah, okay. I got it. Yeah, they're dicks virginity is a myth

[00:32:13] Hell yeah, it's a social construct

[00:32:15] Mm-hmm. Here's what we do. Yeah, me as a virgin when I lose my virginity

[00:32:19] I'll totally I'll be totally a different person with a different outlook on life because of reasons

[00:32:24] Me as a non virgin literally nothing has changed. Well, I

[00:32:28] Pretty sure this person you're down $100

[00:32:33] It's gonna take you longer to pre-order than you call of duty

[00:32:36] Yeah, what if we started like a nonprofit that we suck off all the guys no we got like we paid porn stars like

[00:32:42] Oh five hundred thousand dollars for one night. You have sex with like a thousand in sales

[00:32:47] That's good. You just knock them out. You know, yes the come the come town gang bang the in sell gang bang

[00:32:52] They'd like we'd pay them handsomely. We'd let them we'd let them get there. No, finally

[00:32:57] They feel good about themselves and since it's a line. It's a long line. They can talk about Naruto or whatever

[00:33:03] You know, I mean like oh they can bond. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

[00:33:06] That'd be nice. Yeah, exactly

[00:33:08] There no con

[00:33:12] Any STDs

[00:33:18] Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. I

[00:33:23] Love this idea. I have a legitimate question though. Somebody just writes this is the gayest thing that's happened on this

[00:33:29] I mean, yeah, that's absolutely correct. This is even gayer than the amber is a cop bullshit

[00:33:38] Is that amber was a cop? Yeah for what? I don't know for not letting retarded people

[00:33:45] Shoes what medicine gets given out to the poor?

[00:33:49] All of the medicine should go in my wheelchair and then I should be pushed the door to door

[00:33:54] Handing it out so people can thank me directly an autistic person that just likes the way the chair feels

[00:34:06] That gliding I want to feel like a train

[00:34:18] They go around in my train

[00:34:20] I remember it Chappo had like one of their old episodes was super funny was they did that Adam Sandler 9-11 movie and the whole episode

[00:34:33] They called him 9-11 retard. Oh, yeah, it's like I don't understand have these people

[00:34:38] Listen to that do they know no because it's just like they probably listen big listen in the last like three months

[00:34:43] Probably and then they want to make it all about there whatever their practices

[00:34:47] Exactly, which is not fucking not getting pussy apparently

[00:34:50] Yeah, calling Trump's sport is fatter saying Trump is a small dick promote the culture of alienation and insecurity

[00:34:56] We are fighting against

[00:35:06] Just check it in I look like Bob's big boy with a Greek statue penis and everyone should accept me for those penises are you know

[00:35:14] Pretty nice you know my favorite thing about the Greek statues is the way the pubes look

[00:35:24] I had pubes like beautiful as it's like a baby with curly hair. That's my pubic care. It looks like a

[00:35:32] Wow, I guess she's gonna be racist, but you know like I've got a 47 year old crack addict

[00:35:38] Yeah, she's hanging outside the bodega sure. Yeah, they're my cigarettes

[00:35:42] You know like there's a bird's in consistent density. Yeah, yeah, I recently

[00:35:50] This is great

[00:35:53] We really need to stop mentioning the fact that Ben Shapiro is 5-4. Hell. Yes, first of all not even making fun of him

[00:36:00] We need to stop mention don't mention don't even mention

[00:36:04] Because some of us are little asked take motherfuckers as well

[00:36:06] Yeah, can I still say I'm gonna pick him up and smash him against my skull like an empty beer can never been in a fight

[00:36:12] Once in their life ever never I'm not gonna laugh if you do that

[00:36:18] They said that yeah, Jesus Christ

[00:36:21] Yeah, this shit sucks, dude

[00:36:25] True little dickery at its fucking fine

[00:36:27] And it's still a virgin too because I'm lazy

[00:36:29] But making fun of his cells like that is fine to me because all about how much value you put in it. Hmm. Yes

[00:36:34] He doesn't care. I think that's fine. I think that's honestly goes. Yeah, I'm old though

[00:36:39] And the guy says dude 28 is not old. I'm sorry for not having fuck 28 is old. Can you imagine?

[00:36:46] That would suck that was last year. I think I really oh my god. Yeah

[00:36:51] Just not fuck up until a year ago. It sucks dude before I fucked I was like an insane person

[00:36:58] I was like well, you're always worried about it. I can't imagine that

[00:37:01] You're scared you're like every year you don't fuck by 28 29 your thing

[00:37:07] You should have had so many failed relationships that your problem is like you don't wanna fall never

[00:37:12] Love anyone right. Yes, like that's the that's fortunately that is that's the kind of like 20

[00:37:17] That's the kind of like existential problem you should have is not like cuz that is pussy feel like 30 years old right

[00:37:24] 30 years old

[00:37:26] No experience with relationships, right? That's the fucking problem all your grand you are gonna die

[00:37:31] Even if you do fuck you're gonna die alone because you're gonna like first relationship you have you're gonna be insane

[00:37:35] Jealous and paranoid and doting or and like all the sure sure you got everything's gonna be real for the first time

[00:37:41] Yeah

[00:37:42] the most intense that ever feels and then you're gonna try to keep recreating it the rest of your life

[00:37:46] But it'll never feel the same way to imagine going to your 10-year high school

[00:37:51] You need to be like so what is pussy

[00:37:54] Yeah, well considering considering is 10-year high school reunion probably takes place in the living room of his own house

[00:38:01] Of his parents. Yeah, brother who also doesn't fuck. Oh

[00:38:03] My god

[00:38:06] I love to that he would go to a high school reunion and be like what does pussy feel like

[00:38:11] This straight they said I could ask on the chapo subreddit

[00:38:15] It's I just think like it makes sense that these people are like like either posting obnoxious shit like this or like doing terrorism

[00:38:23] Like because you're literally a psychopath. Yeah, it's true

[00:38:25] So there are simple proactive measures that they can take towards fuss erod have you tried sucking your own dick?

[00:38:35] Including sucking your own day hell yeah, which is physically impossible for this person. I'm gonna share you probably yeah

[00:38:41] And most people to be honest, but um not for me. I have a huge

[00:38:48] Yeah

[00:38:51] Okay

[00:38:53] I

[00:38:54] Started using those little dick rings by the way. Yeah, I put a cock ring the carb I rating cock things stretch my

[00:39:01] I showed them all over the for the dick head. Yeah. Yeah stretches your foreskin out. It's like a gauge for an earring

[00:39:07] Like a yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Have you started using those yet? I just said that motherfucker. I look on your listening skills

[00:39:13] I'm sorry. I'm trying to find his content on the chap. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right keep reading about

[00:39:19] Losers that don't fuck. Yeah

[00:39:20] I've been using set of non losers like me. They don't only fuck sometimes

[00:39:27] I mean that is only fucking sometimes was the other option constantly for always fucking yeah, I mean they are right like

[00:39:34] in my

[00:39:35] Times in my life when

[00:39:37] Internally I've been like the least fuckable like if I look at myself in the mirror. It's like I don't why would you do this?

[00:39:42] Oh, yeah, you're the most fuckable. Oh sure. Yeah

[00:39:45] What do you mean like when I was like living in a box and I was done you were fucking there. Yeah, I was fucking yeah

[00:39:52] Yeah, and you're fat a little bit. No, I had a point. I was actually weirder than I am now

[00:39:56] Yeah, you had a horrible like disease body. Yeah. Yeah, like he had like fucking you're fucking precious

[00:40:02] But I look like I apply I look like a prospect. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know look I had like left out to die

[00:40:08] Right that I went searching for gold

[00:40:10] Yeah, you're that horrible beard you always were a little fucking cap everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you look bad, bro

[00:40:21] But then again, this is my question. I do think this is true

[00:40:26] I think it's easier probably to fuck when you're in a city if you're in a small

[00:40:30] You Adam what

[00:40:33] The tweet of yours is says I love blaming things on late capitalism instead of my terrible personality

[00:40:38] I said that

[00:40:40] Congratulations, yeah, it was funny when I said that prior probably a month prior to that before you

[00:40:47] Somebody reached out to me and they're like yeah Adam said something on the last one about like people on the train

[00:40:53] Trying to look like Bob Dylan and they're like I'm pretty sure you said that word for word and I'm probably I don't remember that

[00:40:58] But I'll agree with him

[00:41:00] You did not say that I don't remember saying it but but I mean what would the person be lying what you lie to me about that

[00:41:06] That's literally you're accusing this person of lying. That's fucked up. You don't even that tattle tale that went to Nick to tattle

[00:41:12] Yeah, yeah, God. Yeah, I think he's I think he's a real truthful guy

[00:41:15] I mean it still is so funny the best response LMAO get a load of this virgin over

[00:41:25] Yeah, it's this sort of shame that makes men explode with rage and use another tool of masculinity

[00:41:30] Grituitous violence to show that they're mature and viral and not losers. We're making the in-cell thing worse with this talk

[00:41:38] So first of all you'll never explode with gratuitous violence. You'll get Xbox and play battlefield or run people over the van

[00:41:46] Or Elliot Rogers people Elliot Rogers barely kill. He was a pussy get a knife right shot six people

[00:41:53] Was it a gun or a knife I thought he stabbed people he's a good he did literally nothing. Yeah, I remember Michael

[00:42:07] Foodie showed me the Elliot Rogers video on

[00:42:10] R slash cringe like two days before he looked really yeah, and he felt like terrible

[00:42:15] Yeah, that's because everyone's like look at this fucking loser who can't fuck and then like he went on a spree after

[00:42:24] Virginia truly doesn't matter my friend

[00:42:26] I may use it as an insult because it works well against the right who idolized power and control over women

[00:42:32] Know that it's absurd to actually think less of anyone for not having sex

[00:42:35] I'm sorry, but this is like the same argument that

[00:42:38] Like yeah, of course I make fun of virgins all the time

[00:42:41] But it's it hurt the ones that don't like if I like yeah, I say the enders constantly

[00:42:46] Anyway, whatever dude fuck these people who cares I care it's given us pretty good content

[00:42:53] Yeah, I'm exhausted a little bit, but I ate a breakfast burrito. I'm trying intermittent fasting

[00:42:59] Yeah, good dude. You said that you should an apple

[00:43:02] I'm gonna get you an apple watch and you can I say something?

[00:43:04] Can I say something you set a timer on the watch and then once you start eating you just call it

[00:43:09] Yeah, it's hard to hit the same six hour window for me every day. So I just once I start eating I yeah

[00:43:14] That's what I do to you. Can I can I say something on the show?

[00:43:17] Bring the vibe down, but can we just oh yeah?

[00:43:20] Yeah, of course. I think I'm I already post really good guy and like really happy go lucky really funny guy

[00:43:28] Like always I can't really speak to his personality. I don't own that well. He was really a piece of shit

[00:43:32] No, no, he was a no. He was a good guy

[00:43:35] Yeah, I hung out with him a couple times. He was a fun guy to hang out with but like I remember saying yeah

[00:43:41] He was my favorite comic in DC and you said on the show one of you argued with me about it's probably

[00:43:55] I hope he dies and then he touched that girls are

[00:43:58] To be honest I really hope my friend Dylan dies and I had need your the horn come from your horn touch

[00:44:05] It's really

[00:44:07] Touch on my sad dick. It's sad about my friend dying

[00:44:13] It's really a fucking great comment. Yeah, yeah

[00:44:16] And a good guy and it's Dylan had that big boss

[00:44:18] I saw him do a bit one time out of making a woman come is like giving a drunk person a ride home

[00:44:22] And like you're like I'm drunk too. So like where they're like just a couple more blocks. Just keep going. All right

[00:44:28] Well, like is it much longer like yeah, yeah, you know like just go a couple more blocks and it's like look

[00:44:33] I'm I'm pretty drunk myself

[00:44:36] You know like well just go a couple more blocks like okay. Well, this is my house

[00:44:42] That's great. Yeah, it's a great joke. Um, yeah fucking sucks dude. It really sucks and

[00:44:47] Just our thoughts are with his family and everyone in DC. No, man

[00:44:53] It's sad the guy fucking died at whatever shut up

[00:44:57] Yeah, yes, it's okay to

[00:45:01] Between no you can be a real human being no and show emotion

[00:45:05] Everyone's it when when someone try when our friend tragically dies. It's suddenly yeah

[00:45:10] Yeah, yeah, I had a completely out of nowhere

[00:45:12] We should mention that he was found by our friend with a stutter with a stutter which makes it that does take the edge off a

[00:45:18] Little bit poor. It was it was we it was yeah, he was stutter. Yeah, I got the call

[00:45:27] I got the bad news

[00:45:32] Find him though to where's that fixed his stutter though. Yeah, you know what at first he wasn't stuttering

[00:45:38] So I maybe maybe it's like getting the hiccups scared out of you

[00:45:46] Ghost

[00:45:48] Yeah, man, please fuck. Yeah, this sucks. So yeah, it just reminds you Donnie

[00:45:53] It just reminds you that the world sucks dick and I might say you should go at any moment

[00:45:57] So you better not

[00:45:59] Die an unfuckable loser

[00:46:02] In the chapo subreddit to not call you a virgin

[00:46:05] Yeah, and the cool thing about Dylan and what he will always be remembered for is how much he fucked and all the pussy

[00:46:14] Salute to a true pussy getting soldiers

[00:46:17] Eating and I think it should be said that it was a bad coke fentanyl is coke and

[00:46:26] I think that a lot of people get fucked up on fennel and have a good ass time

[00:46:29] She's just be careful out there doing fentanyl Godspeed you I don't know that's what you're at the new frontier of drug use

[00:46:35] I think I respect anyone that manufactures and sells fentanyl as if it's other drugs, but yeah, don't just be careful

[00:46:42] Yes, if you're out there be sober like me now. Yes, I was sober now Nick is sober now

[00:46:48] Yeah, I got really drunk the other night, but I'm sober. I've been sober since then

[00:46:53] This is good and what exactly is the difference between a virgin and being someone who used a drunken stranger as a masturbation

[00:47:00] Device four five times in their lives after a sad party on a Friday night

[00:47:05] Post-gaysh it like this different this guy just imagining how sex happens

[00:47:10] The only sex is rape

[00:47:12] That's the only kind of sex there is

[00:47:14] Difference you're at a big frat party. Yeah, it's a big cool party. You have a jello all the popular kids. There's limos

[00:47:24] Sex and all the women are roofing there

[00:47:29] That's sex in my experiences with someone you know and care about as corny as that may sound ding ding ding

[00:47:35] It's true for most people being a virgin is hardly sat now dude the best kind of sex both drunk don't know her name

[00:47:42] Yeah, barely hard your outside

[00:47:52] I

[00:47:55] Miss drunk Nick

[00:47:57] Drunk ass poor fucking idiot that think Nick's thought Nick was famous because he had a lot of Twitter

[00:48:04] No that girl I came to yeah, I came to a show. I don't even want to talk about

[00:48:08] That girl told me she's like I can't get pregnant because I have PCOS and I was like all right

[00:48:12] That sounds about right and then like I talked her like two months later

[00:48:16] She's like yeah, I'm in a period for like three months and then she like had a miscarriage

[00:48:23] Oh jeez

[00:48:26] Hallelujah, she's one of those girls to this like I wrote a poem about you never have one

[00:48:30] And it's always like the most fucked up women to have to write a poem about it after you fucked them. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah

[00:48:35] Yikes

[00:48:38] No, they are it's all it's just always like just fucked in the head. Oh, like look at this essay I wrote about you

[00:48:44] I'm like I don't want to be disgusting. I mean to fuck you at the time also is not yet. They fuck me at any time really

[00:48:50] You had to have an emotionally distant father that you're still trying to win over. Yeah, that's what that's what it is

[00:48:55] I think they blame everything on daddy issues and it's like sometimes it's just the girls fault

[00:49:00] No, I mean really I'm supposed to believe there's not many bad fathers out there. I think so

[00:49:07] I think pretty much every father is a bad father. I'm gonna be a great father

[00:49:11] Oh my god, I don't know you had a fucking kid that would be I think it's impossible

[00:49:16] I'm gonna tell my daughter. I'm like look you do any kind of fucking you want don't blame it on me

[00:49:21] Because I will beat the shit up in me if I find out you're gonna be one of those cool days

[00:49:25] I will put cigarettes out on your bottom eyelids. I'll pull them out and fucking dip them in there like an ashtray

[00:49:31] I'm just going protective services every day with you have a child. I'm like look nothing yet

[00:49:36] But just keep the knives sharp on this keep them all in the moment file open

[00:49:43] I'm wearing a wire at your daughter's birthday party

[00:49:48] Were those men ever really going to be on the left anyways, I know there's other gems in here

[00:49:52] The Ben Shapiro stuff is pretty good. Yeah, this is the gayest shit. I've ever read and trust me buddy

[00:49:57] I've read some gay shit

[00:50:00] That'll best best better title for this supposed to be my personal and word

[00:50:05] Fuck a hooker. That's what they're there for. That's funny

[00:50:08] Yeah

[00:50:10] Stop being such a pussy. I think we've pretty much covered you know unless you want to broach another subject

[00:50:16] I'm Morgan Freeman. What did he do? Yeah Morgan Freeman is all going to jail

[00:50:21] Yeah, is she going to jail? Yeah, why well she I mean she's been like a rain them assuming she hasn't been

[00:50:28] For what pretending to be black. Yeah for welfare fraud in the yeah judge Mathis's court

[00:50:34] Yeah, I used to be white and now I'm a judge

[00:50:39] Judge Mathis go math is judge math is ladies and gentlemen of the court the judge Mathis dancers

[00:50:46] Go math is

[00:50:48] Just black women with like rent spandex but then the nipples are cut out

[00:50:54] Janet Jackson nipple rings on just you know popping and locking it in the courtroom

[00:51:00] Now bring me my cup of justice. It's like a chalice filled with grapes soda

[00:51:05] You see sips from it

[00:51:09] I decree that you owe the defend and

[00:51:13] a

[00:51:16] Ducatry to the sum to the tune of $20,000

[00:51:23] Go math is is your birthday

[00:51:29] Hell yeah in the courtroom

[00:51:33] Which was she did welfare fraud though. It's pretty hilarious. Yeah, yo one of my favorite videos of all time is I wanted odb going to

[00:51:40] Pick up food stamps in a limo

[00:51:46] It's great

[00:51:48] I love it. I just saw a video on twitter of uh, oh now it's doing that buzzing shit

[00:51:55] It is you every time my phone when you put your phone on the court it fucks it up. Sorry

[00:51:59] Um, I saw a video of a little dog eating a big dog's ass and then

[00:52:04] That's cool

[00:52:05] And then the dog comes out of the other dog's ass just immediately throws off everywhere. Oh god fucking rocks dude

[00:52:13] That was probably the best video I've seen in a while

[00:52:15] Oh, man. How about you guys seeing any good internet videos?

[00:52:19] I saw that one today of that that kids

[00:52:22] Oh, yeah, whose dad was playing music via bluetooth on the on his car speakers and then the the car

[00:52:29] the what he called the display said uh

[00:52:32] It was his what his dad was watching on on porn hub and it said uh granny. What's it like?

[00:52:39] Fuck granny till she scored. Yeah, fuck granny

[00:52:46] And then the video just shows like a on trace steakhouse type guy

[00:52:50] You know, it's cool though that he's he's beating off the age appropriate porn on his phone

[00:52:54] He's an old man and he's watching an old lady get fucked. Yeah, that is that is a pro that is pretty nice

[00:52:59] Yeah, you don't want to see these old furverts beating off to 19 year olds

[00:53:04] Have you do you guys ever see your dad's uh, consuming pornography? Yeah, no really? I walked on my dad beating off

[00:53:14] Did you see the porn you see he was in bed beating off and then I like opened the door and he like rolled over real quick

[00:53:20] And neither of us wanted to admit what happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so

[00:53:24] I just like spoke into his exposed asshole

[00:53:26] That's what happened

[00:53:30] Oh, so he was just in bed not covered no he just rolled over real quick and then his ass was chasing me

[00:53:39] That's literally

[00:53:41] Are you giving me a ride to school days like y'all be down in 10 minutes

[00:53:45] That's literally what happened with my mom caught me. Yeah

[00:53:48] I didn't realize you saw his ass. Yeah his ass and because he rolled over quick. It was like is one of the

[00:53:55] Inside corner ass. She caught the bed sheet. So it was it opened his ass

[00:54:03] He just talked to your dad's asshole

[00:54:07] Yeah, yeah, you call your dad being off. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah, he yelled at me

[00:54:12] Like it was my fault. It was his hard dick out. He's just he was like at his desk

[00:54:16] And so like the computer was facing him

[00:54:20] So I walked in and he was like, what the fuck are you doing away?

[00:54:23] I remember finding my dad's porn on the computer because he like saved it to the desk

[00:54:27] I found some porn in my dad's computer. Awesome. And it was like just weird

[00:54:31] It wasn't like it was just still images because this was like probably like 1999

[00:54:38] And yeah, just like a naked woman

[00:54:41] Oh, yeah, yeah, George my friend George caught his dad googling girl bikini

[00:54:48] Your dad's his dad's also like a Greek

[00:54:51] That's the worst guy that showed up. I'm believe

[00:54:54] His dad is so nice George's dad. He's got mad snacks on deck. Oh, yeah, dude

[00:54:58] That's the best house to just go. We just chilled for like yeah between our show. That was awesome

[00:55:03] He's great his house is like the best green room of all time

[00:55:06] Snacks this is the best response

[00:55:08] Why are you airing this in a public forum and trying to get everyone to cater to you instead of just being a normal person and dealing with it on your own?

[00:55:15] Yeah

[00:55:16] Which I could applies to everything that these things basically yeah

[00:55:20] Except like getting health care for everyone fine. We can all agree on that shit, but it's like

[00:55:25] You being a fucking bitch. I don't know. I think that when you're like platform is big enough

[00:55:30] You're bound to have annoying people that like your shit. Not us all of our fans

[00:55:33] All of our fans all of our fans are big not weird Liam's Liam's a cool guy who doesn't harass everyone

[00:55:40] Yeah random people we follow. Yeah, my girlfriend. He's DMing people that they just oh yeah

[00:55:45] Yeah, I think follow some guy DMing he's like tell Liam to stop DMing my girlfriend weird ass shit

[00:55:51] Uh Liam continue

[00:55:53] Don't do it

[00:55:55] Nick Nick Nick is like your is

[00:55:57] Diddy yeah, I have I encourage this behavior. I think it's funny to me it might inconvenience me personally, but

[00:56:05] Boy if it ain't funny and Liam's like unfinished garage where he sleeps. He definitely has like a Nick shrine

[00:56:11] No, there's nothing in there. Yeah, I saw the video. Yeah

[00:56:15] Liam stop fucking emailing people's girlfriends

[00:56:18] Plur DMing please

[00:56:21] I feel like he's our son at this point. He is basically like our badly behaved son

[00:56:25] We have to like every episode give it if we ever see him. We're gonna molest him of course

[00:56:29] Well, he's teaching molestan for a

[00:56:32] We got a we got to sex him into the crew. We get sex in everyone gets sexed in all the fellas get sexed into the crew

[00:56:39] Yeah, you can't join our gang unless you're getting sexed in

[00:56:44] Remember that immortal technique song dance where he's like rape he ends up. He rapes his mom

[00:56:50] The end of that thread is people saying that come town sucks

[00:56:53] Which is perfect

[00:56:55] Just you wait boys

[00:56:58] No, no, that's like i'm happy because I honestly I do feel i'm like we're friends with the chapel guys

[00:57:02] I don't yeah, they're I don't make it seem like i'm shooting on chapel and not just there's no is good and they're really smart

[00:57:09] particular person that's you know

[00:57:12] Feeling they're very lonely diaper of you know hearing the word virgin so i'm glad that that thread ends with people shooting on our show

[00:57:18] Yes, because it kind of balances everything out a little yin yang yang

[00:57:21] You know the yin yang wins. You're like home. It's me yin yang

[00:57:27] That's a character, right?

[00:57:30] There's that tape dasha bring the tape in here did did asian people like did like those like slam poet asian kind of twitter sjw people

[00:57:39] I guess they weren't around but they could have gotten mad at the yin yang twins for yeah, yeah appropriation though

[00:57:44] Yes, imagine the yin yang twins with their asians and they're like wait, you see my day. It's for a different reason

[00:57:51] Hey girl, what do you see my day?

[00:58:07] Did they spawn the

[00:58:37] You will never get enough because physically possible to see my thing.

[00:58:47] Oh, so good.

[00:58:50] Hiya.

[00:58:51] Boop boop.

[00:58:52] That was a good, that was a banger too though.

[00:58:54] That song fucking ruled it.

[00:58:55] I love that song.

[00:58:56] Those guys rocked.

[00:58:57] Do you remember their MTV Cribs?

[00:59:00] It was like clearly just a furnished apartment that they rented and they were like try to

[00:59:06] explain the stuff on the walls.

[00:59:07] They had like rooms that they'd never see.

[00:59:09] They were like, yeah, we got like boat stuff in this room.

[00:59:12] They didn't understand.

[00:59:13] Who had an awesome MTV Cribs?

[00:59:14] It was just like a shitty house.

[00:59:15] Red man.

[00:59:16] Red man.

[00:59:17] Red man's house.

[00:59:18] Yeah.

[00:59:19] Yeah.

[00:59:20] Yeah.

[00:59:21] Yeah.

[00:59:22] Yeah.

[00:59:23] Yeah.

[00:59:24] Yeah.

[00:59:25] Yeah.

[00:59:26] Yeah.

[00:59:27] Yeah.

[00:59:28] Yeah.

[00:59:29] Yeah.

[00:59:30] Yeah.

[00:59:31] Yeah.

[00:59:32] Yeah.

[00:59:33] Yeah.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:35] I loved how high when I was a kid, I was like my favorite movie.

[00:59:38] That was a good movie, bro.

[00:59:40] Why do you see my dick?

[00:59:43] Well, a lot of dead air on this episode.

[00:59:46] Yeah.

[00:59:47] A lot of googling happening.

[00:59:48] A lot of googling, a lot of just.

[00:59:49] I feel like a lot of dead air, but still not a particularly bad one.

[00:59:53] I think it was a good one.

[00:59:54] Thanks to this guy who doesn't fuck.

[00:59:56] We're giving as long as we want to say 80% of the.

[00:59:58] We do want to say thank you to that guy.

[01:00:00] Yeah.

[01:00:01] You really did inspire us this morning.

[01:00:02] Yeah.

[01:00:03] Yeah.

[01:00:04] Should we mail him something?

[01:00:05] No, we should suck his dick.

[01:00:06] Yeah.

[01:00:07] We'll go.

[01:00:08] Adam will give you your car.

[01:00:09] Adam will give up the boy pussy for you, my friend.

[01:00:11] I'll do that for you.

[01:00:12] Well, people are already offering that.

[01:00:14] That's what I love about it.

[01:00:15] That's cool.

[01:00:16] That is the weirdest part of that.

[01:00:17] You can come fuck my gay ass.

[01:00:19] If you want to come to Calgary, you can fuck my.

[01:00:22] Hey, comrade, come fuck my ass, comrade.

[01:00:26] Yeah.

[01:00:27] Well, I guess that's the episode.

[01:00:30] We probably have people that can't fuck the Los Narshow.

[01:00:33] Yeah.

[01:00:34] We like hang in there, guys.

[01:00:36] Yeah, Liam can't fuck.

[01:00:37] I guess some things about yourself.

[01:00:38] Our can't fuck people have the right answer, which is getting really into Rubik's cubes

[01:00:43] and weightlifting.

[01:00:44] Yeah.

[01:00:45] That's right.

[01:00:46] Eventually you'll trick a girl with a logic puzzle into fucking you.

[01:00:51] Right, right.

[01:00:52] Yeah.

[01:00:53] Toys from the Discovery Store.

[01:00:54] That's right.

[01:00:55] Yeah.

[01:00:56] I mean, they're really into poi and devil sticks.

[01:01:00] That's all attract women.

[01:01:01] That's by being really good at magic eight ball.

[01:01:05] I just feel like, do you have to fuck me?

[01:01:09] It probably is easier to fuck in New York than it is to fuck like in a place where there

[01:01:13] is like three eligible women.

[01:01:14] Of course it is.

[01:01:15] Or you could fuck.

[01:01:16] Yeah, if you're in some small town where you're the guy that makes sense.

[01:01:19] Yeah.

[01:01:20] But like, just, I don't know, move to the biggest city in your little fucked up place.

[01:01:25] Take, make a little trip over to Chinatown.

[01:01:27] Exactly.

[01:01:28] And ask for any one of those.

[01:01:29] Ask for the Friedland special.

[01:01:31] Yeah, it's literally $35.

[01:01:33] Just follow the Chinese woman into her apartment.

[01:01:36] No, it was more.

[01:01:38] How much you pay for that?

[01:01:39] Because $35 just covers the massage.

[01:01:41] That's the massage.

[01:01:42] Yeah.

[01:01:43] And then I immediately could tell that it was a special place because the massage was

[01:01:46] terrible.

[01:01:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:01:48] It was, and then I think it was like maybe $100.

[01:01:50] Nice.

[01:01:51] Yeah, very nice.

[01:01:52] And when were the girl that go get massages and when were the place I'd been to before and

[01:01:56] we were in like stalls next to each other?

[01:01:58] I mean, they're just like, like a curtain or whatever.

[01:02:00] Yeah.

[01:02:01] And I'm getting the massage and then I hear her getting the massage and I just hear like,

[01:02:04] she getting jacked up.

[01:02:05] Like farting noises.

[01:02:06] And I'm like, whatever, you know, when you relax or, and afterwards, we're like leaving

[01:02:10] and she was like, did you hear that?

[01:02:12] And I'm like, yeah, that's like normal, whatever.

[01:02:14] She was like, that guy kept farting.

[01:02:16] It was like the guy doing the massage.

[01:02:18] It's like farting while like thinking that he could be like, yeah, it's you.

[01:02:25] You did it.

[01:02:26] Is it blaming on the client?

[01:02:29] Yeah, dude.

[01:02:30] Yeah.

[01:02:31] Damn, I want to get a massage.

[01:02:32] Yeah, there's, I guess there's where, which place did you go to?

[01:02:37] You went in Chinatown?

[01:02:38] Yeah, I just go to whatever.

[01:02:39] There's, there's one where I hear this, this is pretty good that isn't a hand job place

[01:02:43] where they'd birds like, you know, $45 or something.

[01:02:47] I'm not opposed to really good.

[01:02:48] Where was the hand job place?

[01:02:49] You went, can I?

[01:02:50] It was on canal.

[01:02:51] Yeah.

[01:02:52] And you knew it was a hand job place?

[01:02:53] I did not know it was a hand job place.

[01:02:54] But I have absolutely no shame about my experience there.

[01:02:59] Yeah.

[01:03:00] Good for you, man.

[01:03:01] Not one of those pure, pure.

[01:03:02] Did they blow you?

[01:03:03] They just jack you off with a condom on.

[01:03:05] No, she just gave me, she said she just gave me a hand.

[01:03:08] She just said, okay.

[01:03:09] Is it a condom on?

[01:03:11] No, she just gave me a hand.

[01:03:13] Yeah, yeah.

[01:03:14] And I, and it was, it was really good.

[01:03:18] It was pretty good.

[01:03:19] Yeah, it was really nice.

[01:03:20] And honestly, if she's going to like, if she's going to spend half an hour and get $45, if

[01:03:25] she's going to spend half an hour and get $145 at all, she has to do.

[01:03:29] You're a comrade.

[01:03:30] Yeah.

[01:03:31] She's a worker.

[01:03:32] Right.

[01:03:33] And I'm trying to organize.

[01:03:34] That's right.

[01:03:35] That's what I am.

[01:03:36] I'm a salter.

[01:03:37] I'm a guy that, I have to get enough hand jobs to do.

[01:03:40] Sexual assault.

[01:03:41] Yeah.

[01:03:42] Out of the mouth of the Jay Bird himself.

[01:03:45] I read a, I read a blind item on crazy, crazy days and nights about a director who cannot

[01:03:53] stop getting happy.

[01:03:55] I'm going to submit blind items about you.

[01:03:57] This permanent D-list podcaster is alluded to a fact that having a hand in certain Asian

[01:04:07] interests, a lot of, a lot of people go all the time to those places.

[01:04:11] Like I can imagine that could be addicting.

[01:04:13] Oh, you can imagine.

[01:04:15] Oh, you can imagine.

[01:04:16] Honestly, if the massage was better.

[01:04:20] That's what I want, man.

[01:04:21] I fucked up my back.

[01:04:22] Yeah.

[01:04:23] And like, just like, you know how, I mean back pain is like the fucking worst.

[01:04:27] It just comes out of nowhere.

[01:04:28] Yeah, and it fucked her up.

[01:04:29] And then you're just locked.

[01:04:30] And I did real last podcast and I couldn't move.

[01:04:32] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:33] And then I got out and went to Chinatown and got a massage.

[01:04:35] And I was like, just jam your fucking elbow in there.

[01:04:37] And the lady spent 30 minutes like putting all of her weight into that.

[01:04:40] Did it fix it?

[01:04:41] It felt amazing.

[01:04:42] Yeah, yeah.

[01:04:43] It's like fuck.

[01:04:44] I should go get massages.

[01:04:45] And then, but if you go and you don't have back pain, it's kind of just whatever.

[01:04:48] It doesn't do anything.

[01:04:49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:04:50] Loosen's yeah.

[01:04:51] No, it doesn't.

[01:04:52] I feel zero difference.

[01:04:53] I have to go when I already have back pain.

[01:04:55] You don't feel relaxed at all?

[01:04:57] No.

[01:04:58] Yeah.

[01:04:59] All right, well, let's wrap this up.

[01:05:00] We should do a spa day.

[01:05:01] I'll do a spa.

[01:05:02] What we say we're going to do?

[01:05:04] I feel like we're talking about doing a fun exercise.

[01:05:05] We got a good guy today, but it's raining.

[01:05:07] It's fucking raining.

[01:05:08] Yeah, we should get a Luger sometime.

[01:05:10] Get a reservation.

[01:05:11] Yeah.

[01:05:12] I'm going to save up for that Frank Fazette opinion.

[01:05:15] So you can't get steak with us?

[01:05:17] Yeah.

[01:05:18] All right, money, $1.7 million.

[01:05:20] Well, if we do the podcast for what, like 10 more years?

[01:05:24] A hundred years or something.

[01:05:26] Yeah.

[01:05:27] I wish I could paint like Frank.

[01:05:28] I would do the, I would do the, like, fantasy art, stuff like that.

[01:05:32] Hell yeah.

[01:05:33] Just a dragon with breasts.

[01:05:34] Yeah, absolutely.

[01:05:35] Yeah.

[01:05:36] I love that shit.

[01:05:37] And his is actually good.

[01:05:38] Everyone is basically just a shittier version of him since then.

[01:05:40] Yeah.

[01:05:41] His is like legitimately good painting.

[01:05:42] Yeah.

[01:05:43] This happens to be this badass shit.

[01:05:44] All right.

[01:05:45] Well, we got funny moms tomorrow.

[01:05:47] What is it?

[01:05:48] Memorial Day?

[01:05:49] Funny mom's is tomorrow night.

[01:05:50] We'll be posting about it today and tomorrow.

[01:05:53] We got who's on it.

[01:05:54] I booked a couple people.

[01:05:55] Brett Davis is doing it.

[01:05:56] Justin Flanagan.

[01:05:57] Justin Flanagan.

[01:05:58] Nice.

[01:05:59] I think I booked somebody else.

[01:06:00] We're going to put a couple more people.

[01:06:03] Okay.

[01:06:04] But yeah, some good, that'll be really good.

[01:06:06] Come out to that motherfaw lockers.

[01:06:07] And then I am going to be in Seattle in Thursday the 28th at laughs comedy club.

[01:06:14] So please come out to that.

[01:06:15] The tickets are already live.

[01:06:16] I'm going to be posting about it more soon.

[01:06:18] The tickets are free.

[01:06:19] The tickets are free.

[01:06:20] What are you there in August?

[01:06:21] Yeah.

[01:06:22] And then I'm also going to be in Portland.

[01:06:24] We still haven't figured out the date, but it's going to either be.

[01:06:27] August 22nd, baby.

[01:06:28] July 4th or second or third, I think.

[01:06:30] July 13th.

[01:06:31] Yeah.

[01:06:32] Oh, yeah.

[01:06:33] You're just saying you should make that show free because those people don't spend money.

[01:06:37] Yeah, they're all freakings.

[01:06:39] Yeah, they all live at home and don't have sex.

[01:06:42] Yeah, they're all.

[01:06:43] If you're in.

[01:06:44] But for good reasons for socialist reasons.

[01:06:45] Come to Portland and I'll suck you off.

[01:06:47] Not because of the showing.

[01:06:48] They need out of the dumpster behind Trader Joe's.

[01:06:51] Nice.

[01:06:52] So anyway, yeah.

[01:06:55] And I'm coming out to both those cities.

[01:06:56] So if you have any things, think there's shit I should do and hang out.

[01:06:59] My friend George is working there.

[01:07:00] So it's going to be a little bros week I'm going to do up there.

[01:07:03] So come out.

[01:07:05] And then we also have, we're doing an auto bar, the 12th, right?

[01:07:08] Of August.

[01:07:09] Of August.

[01:07:10] And then the Cleveland Boston tour.

[01:07:11] And then we're on Cleveland Boston.

[01:07:13] This is sometime in September.

[01:07:14] First weekend in September I think.

[01:07:16] And then hopefully more dates in the fall and winter.

[01:07:18] Yeah, we're working on it, baby.

[01:07:21] Yeah, thanks for listening.

[01:07:22] And thank you to that guy for writing that Reddit post and RIP Dylan.

[01:07:25] RIP Dylan, baby.

[01:07:26] Yeah, RIP Dylan Meyer.

[01:07:27] Final word sucks, Steve.

[01:07:29] Yeah.

[01:07:30] Sucks.

[01:07:31] The world is fucking hot.

[01:07:33] Ha ha ha.

[01:07:34] Donnie.

[01:07:35] I'm going to just re-say RIP Dylan is the last word.

[01:07:38] Don't make fun of Donnie.

[01:07:39] Why not?

[01:07:40] Donnie's a good sport.

[01:07:41] Yeah, he's just fucking traumatized by the worst day of day.

[01:07:44] He said his life probably was what, finding his day.

[01:07:46] I know, but that's one of those things we're all going to look back at now.

[01:07:49] And by me, I mean, by all back at it is in 30 seconds after I found out the scenario in

[01:07:55] which that I was so upset at you.

[01:07:57] You're saying that?

[01:07:58] That was like so, because it was like an awful movie.

[01:08:02] I was in a terrible movie.

[01:08:04] And then you text me about what happened.

[01:08:06] And then Nick's like, RIP, baby.

[01:08:08] You're ready to go.

[01:08:14] Don't see that lesbian Orthodox Jewish woman movie.

[01:08:18] It's not, you can't jack off to it.

[01:08:20] Josh and I live.

[01:08:21] Yeah.

[01:08:22] Boo.

[01:08:23] Whatever.

[01:08:24] You got to have a sense of humor about these things, right?

[01:08:25] Yeah.

[01:08:26] That's right.

[01:08:27] That's what it's going to say on your tombstone.

[01:08:28] You got to laugh.

[01:08:29] I'm never going to die.

[01:08:30] And it's certainly not in a funny way that people make fun of.

[01:08:33] Alright, goodbye guys.

[01:08:36] Bye there.