[00:00:00] And we're all come town is brought to you by the Corporation for Public

[00:00:04] Brass Casting the National Endowment for the Arts and the being a good person

[00:00:08] society. Hey everybody welcome to the premier self-care podcast. Yeah come

[00:00:13] town where we explore personal growth the destruction of irony and comedy as we

[00:00:19] know and the closing down of Reddit the website take it away

[00:00:27] that's what you're talking prescribed you you're never allowed to go back on

[00:00:31] Reddit there there's that it's been announced that they're going to put all

[00:00:36] of us in jail where we have to be good people and embrace everything that you

[00:00:44] don't like and destroy your expectations for a shitty podcast

[00:00:49] we're gonna have to that the the Jews quote unquote are going to the Jews that

[00:00:58] are telling me he's mentally that are using medicine to make it so that this

[00:01:04] just really important show yeah it's gonna become too political power

[00:01:09] political but you know how they have yeah if he knows with the FBI this

[00:01:12] fundamental is serve surveilling MLK yeah did you know that I guess so guess

[00:01:18] what dude we're just as influential right well I guess I own apology to

[00:01:22] everybody who's just disappointed by me going to the doctor I'm so sorry that

[00:01:28] I fucking let you down like the doctor your brain is gay dude yeah yeah well

[00:01:33] this is this is part of a long-standing conspiracy I've had since episode two

[00:01:37] have come town to make come town not funny and more black lives matters so

[00:01:43] it's there's a whole Jewish network and conspiracy that's this is finally

[00:01:47] coming into fruition yeah we took Adam as a as a as a show as like a show of

[00:01:53] good faith to our Jewish overlords will float one of yours you leave us alone

[00:01:58] but they that's that's too much for them I don't want to also I don't want to

[00:02:01] call out you know any particular people but yesterday I posted a very sweet video

[00:02:06] for my anniversary to my girlfriend and a man called criminal at criminal retard

[00:02:12] told me I was gay so that really hurt my feelings I also said a smooth brain

[00:02:19] criminal

[00:02:23] hip-hop at

[00:02:25] you missed up our a smooth bank with him any of you okay can I get one of those

[00:02:32] pretzels on the any others the free samples you know I like them I'm

[00:02:40] up for examples no one knows to tell me that I'm only about to take one

[00:02:45] good I don't know any better but actually I know better it's a system that I've

[00:02:50] worked out I in fact a lot of people don't know the wheel power down syndrome is

[00:02:56] taking unwimited free sample no one will stop it it's the perfect one that's

[00:03:03] fair dude go crazy Costco man yeah see I'm in lost my edge dude no I mean I

[00:03:09] don't know if the lithium's is working yet but no you just got to find a new

[00:03:12] edge you got a like a dude's jacket look I'm not nothing's changed about me

[00:03:17] guys I'm on lithium and then the Sarah Quill is just for when I start having

[00:03:21] psychotic thoughts and you need to touch the ground and I sure you're alive right

[00:03:25] exactly so only when that happens and I can't stop screaming at the air conditioner

[00:03:30] yeah that's when I need to take the Sarah cool and the lithium okay that's

[00:03:35] what they use in batteries for power tools right yeah what this is happening

[00:03:40] right now is a step towards a synthesis that's right between me and pure

[00:03:45] numeral autism as it exists in the unseen world I will become autism and

[00:03:53] carne you guys need to just trust me yep I've been right about literally every

[00:03:58] one of my predictions the election Hillary Clinton that's right check you

[00:04:01] know oh you think Donald Trump won it's because you're crazy that's why everybody

[00:04:06] is the path to Hillary being president is clear it's clear as day yeah impeach

[00:04:10] Trump impeach Pence special election yeah Hillary's president in weeks mm-hmm

[00:04:17] it's so funny too because if you found out that like Trump like their campaign

[00:04:24] like fucking colluded with Putin directly to kill anyone trying to vote for Hillary

[00:04:32] Clinton just a series of secret murders yeah yeah and Trump was like okay why

[00:04:38] people care about this like nothing would happen and they would still just

[00:04:43] have to be like we're gonna stop him I know yeah it is awesome man how much like

[00:04:49] nothing is gonna work although it would be really funny to fucking get our boy

[00:04:54] Don Jr. about to go to jail I think yeah he's about to be the fall guy that's

[00:04:59] just hilarious Jared and Don Jr. they're about to be the fall man you know it's

[00:05:03] funny Sarah said to me she liked texting me the other day and she was like I you

[00:05:07] know she's like you're gonna think this is crazy but the moon is in Aquarius

[00:05:11] Jesus Christ with the moon just like texting me so you're fine yeah it's just

[00:05:17] a star yeah right girls are retarded yeah yeah I mean they're so dumb okay listen

[00:05:26] you want to believe in astrology it's stupid shit but fine but to think you're

[00:05:29] going insane because of your fucking rising sign or whatever the right that

[00:05:34] you the moon which is controlled by Chinese people it is true yes you know

[00:05:39] their language comes from celestials yeah yeah you know you think what just

[00:05:44] because you sent fucking Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin up there put some dumb

[00:05:48] flag on on the thing that it doesn't belong to the Chinese it's still there

[00:05:52] it's out of your fucking mind it looks exactly it's called China too in my it

[00:05:56] looks like a big-ass dumpling yeah I I dasha and I were watching Netflix the

[00:06:02] other day and Eliza Schlesinger's special popped up and I was like you want to

[00:06:06] see the worst and so we clicked on it and she had a foot dasha had a full-on

[00:06:10] panic attack like started shaking like hyperventilating and stuff because it

[00:06:15] like stressed her out to my sister like she likes having knelt down and then

[00:06:19] she said she's oh she's like oh yeah I'm fun because it's it's actually the moon

[00:06:23] has been and I was like yeah for sure yeah yeah that's cool the moon the moon

[00:06:31] was fucking with you what if the shit is real dude what if we always

[00:06:35] crystals to heal our soul oh god can I get a crystal to heal my foot I don't

[00:06:38] want this fucking lithium to start working it already started working I

[00:06:42] think it has a little bit like I feel stable but it's still just like

[00:06:45] where I ran all my life is like dog shit it's lithium yeah that's how it goes

[00:06:52] dude wait who is that it's cur it's Nirvana Nirvana yeah so whatever stop

[00:06:57] was singing it's just no no no no stops us singing a different lithium no no

[00:07:02] that's a rockaby yeah yeah yeah lithium no rocker by

[00:07:09] he's gone by lithium right isn't that a song I thought it was I thinking of

[00:07:16] Bush yeah yeah yeah let's go glycerin glycerin no no lithium is I'm so happy

[00:07:25] yes yeah they're gonna rules do suck my day yeah dude you're closer to Cobain

[00:07:32] man do your career I am yeah who molested a retarded girl did he oh yeah

[00:07:37] that's in the documentary it's in his book I read his I read his when I was a

[00:07:40] teenager I read like the Kurt Cobain like all of his journal which is like

[00:07:44] such a fucked up thing to do if I kill myself I'm gonna make sure I've burned

[00:07:49] and destroyed everything I've ever written yeah cuz I don't want some

[00:07:53] asshole like letting children read it yeah yeah self-absorbed to think that

[00:08:02] someone would publish my journals when it was like I mean not for money it's

[00:08:06] just like what if Dilbert was black lots of that you had a really big

[00:08:13] Garfield having sex drawing dude I have so many journals that are just drawings

[00:08:18] of Garfield fucking John black Garfield filled with that shit I remember yeah

[00:08:26] Garfield doing an Odie doing an Eiffel Tower in John's day and then when I was

[00:08:30] a teenager it's like guys smoking weed that they got claws and shit and the

[00:08:36] Slayer logo over and over and over again just over and over just writing

[00:08:42] Slayer I loved when they had a the alien that like 90s alien smoking weed

[00:08:53] take me to your dealer take me to your dealer classic classic classic that's

[00:08:57] classic I want a cop one of those actually yeah damn remember the old days

[00:09:02] of having a bi weed man what a beautiful system it just comes to your house now

[00:09:06] you have to go hang out with some guy and play Super Smash Brothers a game or

[00:09:09] two Super Smash Brothers yeah I have been given so much weed in my life so many

[00:09:16] drugs it's like the I don't remember like I feel like salute to the guy and

[00:09:23] see I probably probably 70% of the drugs I've done I haven't paid for yeah yeah

[00:09:28] recently I don't really have to pay for the main drug yeah I like to though you

[00:09:31] know it's because people want to support the people want yeah just to get you know

[00:09:36] be normal dude smell not people want to fucking you can't accept the real me yeah

[00:09:40] the twisted me exactly can we talk about what the fuck what the fuck is

[00:09:46] quan on or whatever the fuck you and on Q and on Q and on good job he's like

[00:09:51] like you're a hard one it doesn't look like quan on to you it looks like Q and

[00:09:58] on looks like you and on the poster on fortune letter Q in the word and on oh

[00:10:04] it's just like a collection of conspiracy theories I think it's like a super like

[00:10:10] it's like it's like any one of these things like chain guys because it's fun I

[00:10:14] think most people just get swept up in it because it's fun but it's not no but

[00:10:18] now like 60 year olds believe in it yeah like baby boom my mom asked me about it

[00:10:22] I think my mom's reading about that shit but like a lot of the yeah a lot

[00:10:30] like I don't remember John Titter John Titty it was like an early internet

[00:10:35] thing there was this guy John Titter that went on some forum and he claimed to be

[00:10:39] a time traveler he was like yeah I'm from like 20 years in the future like

[00:10:44] there's a war that happens in like 2009 and like destabilize a society like I'm

[00:10:52] like basically a soldier if you want to like call it that and he's like I went

[00:10:56] back in time and he like explains like meeting himself he's like it doesn't

[00:11:00] like do anything because I'm like it's technically like a different dimension

[00:11:03] or whatever it's like that you know and they have these like complex descriptions

[00:11:08] of his time machine and like diagrams of it which like I guess 20 years ago

[00:11:12] would have been hard to produce in like Photoshop or whatever but people were

[00:11:17] like is this guy really a time traveler and it's like of course not yeah like

[00:11:22] obviously not it's like just like a fun social experiment by somebody right and

[00:11:26] yeah I mean that's probably all that is it's probably like a subway ad campaign

[00:11:31] QAnon yeah are you sure it's not Q-Burt maybe they're rebooting that's good

[00:11:37] point dude what are they said I haven't looked in the QAnon at all I don't know

[00:11:42] what it means it's a it's also known as the storm it's like a collection of

[00:11:48] conspiracy theories and this person purports to be a high-ranking member of

[00:11:53] the government with security clearance oh yeah and there are some theories that

[00:11:58] some people think it's John F Kennedy Jr. fake his own death and now is posting

[00:12:05] on 4chan the truth if JFK Jr. fake his own death he would be in like fucking

[00:12:10] cabo getting his dick sucks getting his little knob polished off horse I got

[00:12:15] happens to JFK it's gay FK ask not what your penis can do for my mouth ask not

[00:12:22] how you can do for your penis that's very kind that's very nice well okay you know

[00:12:31] what else dude what else is fucking wild if we're talking canada's if we're

[00:12:35] talking canada's now boys what isn't it fucking my man killed a woman yeah that's

[00:12:41] it is so fucking wild it was funny because I brought that up the day I don't know

[00:12:46] if it's not gonna use that conversation about like whether you actually

[00:12:49] experience empathy or just oh yeah it's like socially expedient for you to

[00:12:55] pretend like you do and like Ted Kennedy perfect example clearly there's

[00:12:59] somebody that's lived a life dedicated to progressive causes and presumably

[00:13:03] cares about people but straight up just murder just murder just murder somebody

[00:13:07] and then because it's like you never really had to sacrifice anything to quote

[00:13:13] unquote be a good person right if you don't have to make any kind of

[00:13:16] sacrifice you're not a good person yeah especially if in your heart is

[00:13:20] murdered yeah just letting a lady fucking drown yeah I mean I don't believe in

[00:13:25] like judgment or whatever but I think like whatever internal internal world

[00:13:29] you live in is letting a whatever whatever is the secular version of like

[00:13:35] a soul that you could possibly have is like I mean you should feel bad about

[00:13:38] that yeah you should kill yourself that should have honky every day you should

[00:13:42] just get the fucking die that's what that's all shit in the air tonight huh

[00:13:48] Phil Collins in the air tonight yeah it's about chapa quiddick it's about

[00:13:52] chapa quiddick yeah hard dick what about sucka hard dick and it's Ted Kennedy

[00:13:56] that's good in a lake well yeah sucking a guy's car well

[00:14:00] sisudio is Italian for an apartment where you suck off other guys yeah it's a

[00:14:05] studio welcome to my yeah welcome to my sisudio it's actually what that means

[00:14:15] oh fuck are we do are we getting rings on my desk you'd put a little piece of

[00:14:19] paper under our getting rings on the death oh you don't respect yeah I'm sorry

[00:14:23] your Ikea desk is an Ikea bitch it's a standing Jarvis motherfucker

[00:14:27] jar and I was oh I'm sorry I didn't realize it was a Jarvis the fucking

[00:14:32] Jarvis show some respect motherfuckers whatever this is is like laminate you're

[00:14:36] not gonna get permanent rings on here yeah that's not that's not actual

[00:14:39] with that asterisk I have no idea it's gonna fucking piece of paper is a piece

[00:14:42] of paper right there oh all right right there motherfuckers you go nice

[00:14:47] looney tunes mugs thank you thank you so much for respecting my wishes yeah the

[00:14:55] Kennedy's I think like well yeah Ted Kennedy he's not a good person because he

[00:15:00] wouldn't he murdered a woman and then you're like can you use the coaster my

[00:15:03] fuck you yeah get a little natural light in here Adam fuck your goddamn desk I

[00:15:14] don't want to do something it'll take me three seconds right it's all about it's

[00:15:20] all about like doing aggregate aggregate good right so that guy Jimmy Seville

[00:15:25] like raped like 2000 kids what but he made the entire country he brought joy

[00:15:31] into their lives and bodies yeah yeah Jimmy Seville Jimmy Seville was the

[00:15:35] British mr. Rogers what the fuck yeah he raped which is like mr. Rogers is like

[00:15:40] mr. Rogers is like you know like they're rogering yeah that deserved

[00:15:46] thank you oh sorry mr. Rogers is like the moments before critical mass happens

[00:15:51] in a nuclear explosion of like being a pedophile so it's like it's right up

[00:15:57] there you've compressed the uranium as much as you can yeah yeah and then you

[00:16:02] just add British yeah yeah just the most pet pedophile explosion you could

[00:16:10] possibly imagine I'm gonna show you a picture of this guy and then you're gonna

[00:16:13] be like oh yeah that's petaphile that's not to mr. Rogers though he truly was a

[00:16:17] good-ass dude man yeah I want to watch don't get next started next can get heated

[00:16:21] why you don't like him now I got a whole bit about that yeah it's a

[00:16:24] nice thing you know damn I haven't heard it yeah I'm trying to write new shit and

[00:16:28] I am and I will and I will be a guy as a petaphile oh my god can you believe

[00:16:35] that this guy ever go to jail or anything I think so yeah well they caught him

[00:16:40] after like 40 years of raping every single child oh my every kid that was

[00:16:46] on every kid in Britain really yeah that's a lot I guess Louis through

[00:16:53] documentary about him Louis through rose great he's the best yeah how about

[00:16:58] Louis the rote he's yeah deep yeah how about murder she throat I'm Angela

[00:17:05] I've never seen an episode of that oh look at this I just watch a lot of that show

[00:17:12] yeah I don't like that that's Jimmy Civil I remember I because the show is so

[00:17:16] fucking old I remember watching it one time and she has to like question a

[00:17:20] woman whose job is she's a computer operator oh yeah what an awesome job I

[00:17:25] know like what no idea precious four buttons on it yeah that's like that it's

[00:17:32] it's weird because it's like time and you know like periods in history or

[00:17:40] culture or whatever that have like an identifiable ascetic to them that time

[00:17:45] passes and it's maybe it's like a little bit before you were born or

[00:17:48] something that's like just out of touch and it just gets like tucked away in

[00:17:51] history and then witnessing it sort of creates this like unease it's like

[00:17:56] more of a feeling of death than looking at like old pictures it's like just shit

[00:17:59] from like the early 80s see just looking at a CD also CDs don't do it for me but

[00:18:05] like an eight track yeah I see or like floppy just or like a woman like it

[00:18:10] looks like Angela Lansbury driving a car that's clearly meant for an old black

[00:18:14] guy something about there was a time when like a conservative old lady was

[00:18:19] driving like a Ford Torino yeah just some big ass ranch yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:18:27] yeah I don't even know what I'm trying to say but something about that show and

[00:18:31] stuff from that angel glands Barry I like it she's got a car she berries are

[00:18:36] glands yeah yeah time is is a bitch yeah y'all everything about fucking time

[00:18:50] welcome to the hometown experience I wish I could yeah let's think dude if you do

[00:18:56] DMT and do karate you'll meet God you'll meet him no joke I have been doing a

[00:19:00] little bit of my own little fucking summer Fridays where I take hallucinogenics

[00:19:04] every Friday summer Fridays did I was awesome it was good yeah I just sat on

[00:19:10] the porch and looked at some antenna wobbling around for two hours I can't

[00:19:14] imagine your dumb ass brain on hallucinogens rules just like because

[00:19:19] expanding your mind would be like what realizing that people in other countries

[00:19:23] speak different languages like damn no dude I can't even I don't even know what

[00:19:30] I think when I'm on that shit I just watch shit wobble that's it dude and I

[00:19:34] watch the Ragnarok I laugh a ton when I'm doing oh yeah

[00:19:39] everything is so everyone's eyes are big with your mushrooms too yeah I don't

[00:19:45] think I could do anything anymore no mushies no anything nothing yeah I think

[00:19:50] honestly I think like really what caused this like the whatever fuck up thing

[00:19:55] happened to me was like just being overstimulated and doing that Molly and

[00:20:00] then doing the cocaine and I just like didn't I couldn't recover from yeah

[00:20:05] because I got really burnout on all that coke and yeah I just couldn't yeah you

[00:20:11] just like I couldn't like get back and I just wasn't sleeping and shit yeah

[00:20:17] dude that shit'll fuck you up I tried to be sober and I can't do it I'm just

[00:20:20] gonna wait until this MRI is over till I know what I'm up against because I'm

[00:20:24] getting very depressed it sucks did cocaine does that to you it's a

[00:20:28] fuck's up your blood pressure and shit it's very destroys your mind yeah cuz

[00:20:33] it's nice you know it's not even like it's not even that it's not even great

[00:20:36] it's just nice it's just nice to do it's like a nice cup of coffee and it's like

[00:20:41] having to quit like like milk yeah you know yes exactly it comes out

[00:20:47] like house tits no I like milk I like drinking fucking milk to the extent that

[00:20:52] I like Nate Barghatsy a lot I think he's a really good comic but he uploaded

[00:20:56] some video or a joke that he's doing about getting like a cup of milk at

[00:21:01] Starbucks because they thought that that's what he ordered oh that is like yeah I

[00:21:04] just asked for like a cup of milk which I've never done in my life especially

[00:21:09] as an adult I'm just gonna drink milk with a straw and I sat looking at my phone

[00:21:13] I'm like fuck you man people like milk you would get milk at Starbucks no of

[00:21:20] course not yeah no they did a good joke and he's not wrong but I do enjoy

[00:21:24] drinking milk we think this dude I mean that's disgusting oh fuck stops only

[00:21:29] wearing bathing suits at this point period of your convalescence where you're

[00:21:35] like literally at your post clothing yeah I really am dude I'm gonna fucking

[00:21:40] kill myself let's get you that wheelchair dude I want a wheelchair will shave your

[00:21:43] head get me a hospital gown and I'll push my obese nude friend around in a

[00:21:47] wheelchair in the park we could get so much shit for free if we're 10 people

[00:21:51] I was dying yeah that'd be awesome well I just I like the idea of me dying of

[00:21:57] brain and you dying of body and then Adam is just Jewish and profiting off the

[00:22:02] show so living a happy life with his wife maybe they're not wrong about the

[00:22:08] conspiracy yeah how is it that you're the one that's weathered this storm yeah I

[00:22:13] don't know I'm in good health it's true I know I'm fucking fucked up dude he's

[00:22:19] psycho dude you are psycho I'm psycho about Geico right yeah psycho insurance for

[00:22:24] guys only yeah it's a little little man yeah yeah the Geico Gecko was the wrong

[00:22:34] way to go they should have gone the Geico psycho how I got these cars yeah

[00:22:41] yeah the Geico psycho yeah why not they get a cave man that's stupid the money

[00:22:49] stack that's dumb you know they're doing it she get their own flow and she looks

[00:22:54] exactly like flow except you can see her breasts are completely exposed yeah

[00:22:57] they're just hanging out of their shirts is juicy as big fucking dark ass nipples

[00:23:02] ready to be sucked flow is high school girlfriend yeah they dated in high

[00:23:08] school shut up is that real flow in Lewis are you doing a bit no they went to the

[00:23:13] same high school it would be funny if they dated and she's just been living

[00:23:16] this life like not having to acknowledge her past and she's so happy and then

[00:23:20] slowly and quietly a storm builds and Lewis is gaining cultural power and then

[00:23:28] all these people are listening to him he's like yeah dude we used to have sex

[00:23:32] and then they're like sorry we got to fire you from this campaign we didn't

[00:23:36] realize your husband your ex-husband was the Puerto Rican rattlesnake and

[00:23:42] obviously that speaks so much under your character nowadays when everybody's

[00:23:47] ready to be judged that you let a Puerto Rican inside your pussy you guys know

[00:23:51] that that's just that's just not the progressive way letting Puerto Ricans

[00:23:55] into your pussy so we're gonna have to let you go flow what do you should we

[00:24:01] should we be commercial actors guys yeah try to sell shit what are these little

[00:24:07] socks you got here Adam these yeah unique low or no not unique low what's the

[00:24:15] other Japanese place you need loads mooji oh mooji I've been meaning to get a

[00:24:21] fucking dude mooji is sick I mean to get a fucking that aroma aroma I would love

[00:24:26] to be able to like come in my pants on command just make videos of me going

[00:24:30] in the dressing room is putting on the pants and then just taping myself in the

[00:24:34] mirror going just coming in them and then putting them back on the shelf

[00:24:40] cool you could just eat off in them no it's funny or to like just be able to

[00:24:45] like yeah to do with your mind your dick stop you really just completely

[00:24:53] soft I know they don't fit thanks walking out of the unique love yeah I'll put

[00:25:03] these back I just I'll put them back don't you I'll do it you know I just want

[00:25:08] I'll fold them up and put them right back where they were on the shelf for

[00:25:11] someone else to take you ever watch that kind of porn where girls steal from yes

[00:25:16] or they get caught and they have to go to the back room suck a dick it's like

[00:25:22] come on shop lifter poor yeah yeah it's like how expensive are fucking bathing

[00:25:27] suits you have to suck a man's penis I like that porn I do too unfortunately

[00:25:31] yeah but I do like it a lot I know it's weird I don't really like any porn I

[00:25:36] don't have any kind of preference or fetish like zero yeah I just like to see

[00:25:42] people suffer yeah I do too that's my that's my that's my kink but then sometime

[00:25:48] but I can't like I can only fuck real hard like some of the time it feels like

[00:25:55] a real production that really my dick my dick doesn't really get hard anymore

[00:25:59] because it's like done pretending like it's in anything yeah I don't have any

[00:26:04] real problem it's just like I don't give a shit anymore who cares I know who

[00:26:09] fucking cares yeah maybe your dick's trying to die dude yeah didn't you say

[00:26:13] you took that by a grin your forearms just popped off oh yeah dude my fucking

[00:26:17] forums look sick so fast you're just gonna start taking those yes you can

[00:26:22] look vascular yeah cuz I mean I already have pretty fucking vascular forearms

[00:26:26] but yeah dude that shit fucking rocked me and stop too look at that look at all

[00:26:32] those weird you know those weird muscles they got in there yeah dude yeah that's

[00:26:36] cool I did get my grip strength my grip strength is out of control now

[00:26:40] are you still doing it give me those softest one that you have yeah I'll I'll

[00:26:43] I'm gonna actually I think I might do a training program and try to close that

[00:26:47] captain's across number three because they put your name on the fucking website

[00:26:50] if you do that's something to work for I mean I can close the two and a half

[00:26:54] like a couple of times what's it you can close Adams dick a couple yeah yeah

[00:27:00] my asshole is three is like it's just it's like waited it like I don't know

[00:27:04] like maybe like 170 pounds damn yeah to just lift with your well the create a

[00:27:10] crush with your crush with the one the next time you come over all right the

[00:27:14] one might be too too much for you okay give me the point two five yeah the point

[00:27:19] five point five maybe a good place to start what is it PSI or something

[00:27:26] pussy square inches I don't know how they would like yeah what is it because I

[00:27:31] mean there's obviously different like points of leverage on that sure handles

[00:27:35] I don't know where I think it's like if you were to close it you have to put at

[00:27:40] the end of the handle that amount of weight pressing down on it for it to

[00:27:43] close do you have to how do they how do they like verify that you've done the

[00:27:48] three they like send in a video they send a guy to your house whoa

[00:27:53] one they open are you kidding no and then everything has to be on video they

[00:27:56] have to see it the whole fucking time they tape it yeah wow first a first such

[00:28:01] a stupid thing yeah it's such a funny dude grip training is such a funny

[00:28:05] subculture but those guys are strong as fuck yeah in a thing that no one gives a

[00:28:09] shit about it all there hands there's a whole there's a whole world of it because

[00:28:13] there's this guy this guy they idolize like it's like it's like yeah it's like

[00:28:18] grip boards I'm gonna have looked into it because I do like grip training or

[00:28:20] whatever but the this guy like Joe Kenny I think his name is who's just some

[00:28:25] guy you like you wouldn't even you can't even tell he works out he's like

[00:28:28] something like skinny guy who's like the only guy to close like a number four

[00:28:32] which had to cry think create just for him yeah and he's like you know he's

[00:28:38] like I just remember reading that they said nobody could close it and I said

[00:28:42] well I could do that and it's like just the things people get fixated yeah and

[00:28:47] like their weird will to accomplish just some meaningless path yes totally and

[00:28:55] those guys always have like a wife that like doesn't quite get it yeah you know

[00:28:59] they always have like a family and other things to keep some busy and you know

[00:29:04] she doesn't spare time I don't care yeah and then all these guys it'll post on

[00:29:08] their like like thank you so much for the input mr. Kenny you know like they

[00:29:14] just like one day I'll close that number three you know and there's something

[00:29:19] nice about it it's honestly it's such a simple fixation that like doesn't hurt

[00:29:23] anybody and it's like just so dumb and like you can't really be particularly

[00:29:28] aggressive about it because it's just closing and well what can you do by

[00:29:33] having strong ass grip it does have carryover yeah with that grip and like

[00:29:38] particular crush grip doesn't you know it's not like there's three different

[00:29:42] types of grip you have you have pinch grip support grip and crush grip okay

[00:29:45] and so training crush grip has some carryover to like support grip so you

[00:29:49] might be able to like deadlift have a year okay with you know out straps or

[00:29:53] chalk you could probably pop what somebody's nuts out yeah pop one nut out

[00:29:57] for somebody all through a skin yeah I mean but honestly this yeah there's not

[00:30:02] much carryover I did I mean I've been out of the gym for a while but I could

[00:30:05] like double overhand pull like like 350 360 like with both of my hands overhand

[00:30:14] and that's only because I've like done I think only because I've done like

[00:30:18] grip training stuff all right yeah I'm gonna start grip training while I'm in

[00:30:22] the bed dude I'm gonna have a strong ass grip yeah well it's like it's also I

[00:30:26] why I started doing it is because I remember like years ago I read that like

[00:30:30] that's like the best indicator of like health in old age is like maintaining

[00:30:34] good grip strain so I like I don't know it's just yeah like some kind of somebody

[00:30:40] be stronger than old men yeah well I don't know I mean it when I started doing

[00:30:45] I did notice like even things like you're just carrying fucking groceries home

[00:30:49] and it's like oh I don't feel that's tired yeah you're not as tired because

[00:30:53] it's like your your hands will like a lot of people just let their hands slack

[00:30:57] and then they carry things with their shoulders or whatever but if you can

[00:31:00] just do with your hands yeah I got you know what I'm gonna do fucking curls I

[00:31:05] got these both like shit I gotta turn my life around yeah I'm gonna go crazy in

[00:31:10] this fucking place maybe I'll start writing my novel you should get one of

[00:31:15] those stationary bikes like a peloton stationary bike just set it up right

[00:31:20] here next to the standing desk in your bed you think so have have no just no

[00:31:25] walking I'm just gonna start doing that I'm just gonna start guys you can't see

[00:31:30] it but I'm doing bicycles with my fucking feet that's great dude you look great

[00:31:37] dude this feels good yeah get into spin class like those like rich dude I'm

[00:31:43] just a boy that people get mad at me for being like like oh no it's just some

[00:31:46] like mental health faggot or whatever and then I can like just waste 20 minutes

[00:31:50] of the show talking about grip train it was more that shit this show sucks

[00:31:57] and it always has it's never been a good show ever not dude Angela Glansberry

[00:32:03] that was good yeah that was a high point yeah dude I don't know I just

[00:32:10] every day is a fucking struggle not to just you know jump out the fucking

[00:32:15] balcony you're like Rapunzel like you really am dude but you can't grow hair

[00:32:20] yeah I'm I'm negative Rapunzel you're like stuck in a tower if only I got my

[00:32:25] hair back yeah you grow your hair out so some suitor can climb up just string

[00:32:33] ass bullshit here speaking with Brian Erlacher went into the fucking Hall of

[00:32:38] Fame mm-hmm line back or bears line back you're here Nick I know who Brian or

[00:32:42] well who know what Erlach minute you don't have to fucking spray me Ryan

[00:32:47] Edelson is I know these people I'm not embarrassed by not knowing the arts

[00:32:53] anyway Hall of Fame I'm back I know more than you about whatever we're talking

[00:32:56] right he's a baldest shit yeah his whole career I knew that already yes

[00:33:00] here now he went to the fucking Hall of Fame he got in the Hall of Fame yesterday

[00:33:04] the motherfucker has beautiful hair went to the hair club for me yes dude I'm

[00:33:08] about to ask Brian who is guy is gonna go to the Bosley Institute I would go to

[00:33:12] the Bosley Institute it looks good if these are the first plugs that I've

[00:33:15] seen that I'm like yes yeah I think I think in my 50s so funny I read the

[00:33:20] hair loss talk forums also I mean all the I'm like read all these forms just

[00:33:26] divorced yeah grip string here like the only thing a fat piece of shit divorce

[00:33:33] guy who gets strong is his grip basically all these things for like kind of just

[00:33:38] like broken guys that like just I don't know kind of help me put things in

[00:33:43] perspective or whatever and yeah the hair loss talk guys there's like you

[00:33:48] know they'll have these like novel solutions to hair loss that like people

[00:33:52] get excited about everything's kind of on like a two or three year research

[00:33:55] cycle so people will split off into different camps and I'll have like

[00:33:58] different treatments that they sort of fanboy about and they think like oh this

[00:34:03] is gonna be the one you know and there was this lotion by this guy Dr.

[00:34:07] Bratsu the bratsu lotion that is supposed to make me and I watched it for like

[00:34:13] like months I watch guys get excited about it and then like these really

[00:34:18] pessimistic like in cell bald guys are like it's not gonna fucking work nothing

[00:34:23] will ever work we're just destroyed our lives will never be good just accept it

[00:34:28] you know like live it that someone would attempt to do anything and then

[00:34:32] there was a conference with the bratsu thing back in April and you know people

[00:34:37] are like this is it this we're gonna reveal the results we're talking about

[00:34:40] five years of hair growth coming back this is it and of course it's underwhelming

[00:34:44] and shows like slight amounts of hair regrowth but it's not really you know

[00:34:48] still don't know it's not full head of hair it's like minimal it's like lighting

[00:34:53] and shit it just turns out to be like a scam and then just people like the

[00:34:58] National Suicide Prevention Hotline number you know this was it boys yeah no and

[00:35:04] it's just like and then they're just so broken by it yeah and it's funny because

[00:35:08] it's like I get that man yeah I understand like just wrapping everything

[00:35:13] in your life up in this just like dumb superficial like insecurity if I just

[00:35:18] got I'm not a fucking dumb bitch loser it's yeah my hair if I hear and then the

[00:35:22] only and then the moments like that like there has to be a part of you that's

[00:35:26] like you're wasting your life worrying about this and then that's what makes

[00:35:32] you want to kill yourself it's not the hair thing no no it's the realization

[00:35:36] yeah how much it meant to you right like yeah okay it's gone but I have so much

[00:35:39] other shit I could be working on yeah yeah it does suck but you know the Lord

[00:35:46] the Lord only tests those that are strong enough to handle it you two are

[00:35:49] weak you could never lose your hair yeah on the other hand they're strong dude I

[00:35:54] thought I was losing my hair a couple years ago yeah it's really annoying oh

[00:35:57] yeah I was so that's all that we're gonna talk about if you were bald it would

[00:36:01] suck I'm fucking bald dude yeah a ball that would fucking rule for me dude I

[00:36:05] want I want elders to go bald so well my hairline did recede like a centimeter

[00:36:10] yeah and then which by the way it grew back interesting yeah it's like not

[00:36:14] yeah it's nice it's my hairline is exactly where it was when I was 23 yeah

[00:36:20] it's just because I spent like a year pushing my hair back and wearing hats and

[00:36:24] I got like a little bit of like traction alopecia in the corners what do you do

[00:36:28] if you're a trans person but you're like bald when you're a guy you're like you

[00:36:33] know philogic I had Grace Jones you get melon in treatments yeah just go

[00:36:40] you're a blackface is it okay for trans people to do blackface if they were

[00:36:45] already bald men who are trying to be Grace Jones date line tonight blackface

[00:36:52] okay for bald men who become trans women I think you just wear we Lester

[00:36:57] Holt investigates what is Lester Holt do CNN I know no I think I think yeah NBC

[00:37:05] Lester Holt is a he was on 30 rock that was a bald white man who became trans

[00:37:09] and yeah yeah sure for molester Holt the molester

[00:37:17] Holt would have been a better name for Chris Hansen that's true HALT how did

[00:37:22] how did it become Chester the molester not Lester the molester mr.

[00:37:27] Moore said they they both rhyme with molester yeah but Lester's basically

[00:37:32] molester yeah but there's more Chester's than Lester's I guess that's true I guess

[00:37:37] you really should name your son either yeah don't name me son anything it rhymes

[00:37:41] with the list I mean my name rhymes with dick and I remember as a little kid I

[00:37:44] remember like thinking about my parents I'm like why did they do this to me yeah

[00:37:48] yeah you know why would you do this to me do you remember that SNL sketch with

[00:37:53] Christopher with Nicholas Cage and he was like really it was like him and his

[00:37:58] wife were naming their kid and he was so like was it he hosting or was hosting

[00:38:03] and his wife was like what about he was she would say something like what about

[00:38:06] Nick's like yeah Nick the dick and like you know and then at the end they're

[00:38:09] like God you're so pushy then at the end his name is ass wipe Johnson why you

[00:38:15] like this then Rob fucking whatever what's his name Rob Riggle no no the fucking

[00:38:20] Rob Schneider Rob Schneider just delivery for ass wipe Johnson he's like it's

[00:38:25] a sweep yeah yeah I remember that that was that that was Matt TV no no that was

[00:38:30] SNL it was yeah a sweep a yes we bet yeah that was because there was also

[00:38:37] wasn't there a man TV sketch with like Lucidore wrestlers and one of the name

[00:38:41] was like ass Alasso white bow I remember yes God damn I was watching I was

[00:38:47] watching man TV sketches the other day the the Michael McLeod and Jasmine Wayne

[00:38:52] Wayne was that it was like characters they would do they were supposed to be

[00:38:56] like I guess early 90s like white R&B you know like yeah like color me musical

[00:39:03] duo they would like you know like time life classics it's Michael McLeod and

[00:39:07] Jasmine Wayne Wayne and all their music was always just like you are the love of

[00:39:12] my life you are the love of my life you are the love of my life you are the you

[00:39:22] know just like that which is like so funny but then they would always do like

[00:39:27] behind the music things and like you know he's like you know it'll be because it's

[00:39:31] well sasso is the guy's like when we got the call to be on this special she's

[00:39:35] like when I got the call you know he's like okay I mean yeah you got the

[00:39:39] good for us so when we got the call she's like we didn't I got the call you know

[00:39:44] he's just like losing his mind and she's a noise machine fucking despise each

[00:39:50] other yeah yeah I don't know that was that was it was like such great character

[00:39:53] that was fun that show rule I fucking love that show so much and you know I

[00:40:00] like and because people message me and they say and you know I'm not trying to

[00:40:04] humble brag but they say you're a hero you're a living God and I agree with

[00:40:08] these things you know and the show literally brought my mom back to life

[00:40:12] after she was raped to death by come town but yeah it did that yeah people

[00:40:18] message Nick that kind of stays yeah no I got you okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[00:40:23] yeah you know this and I guess man TV did that for me so I guess I can kind of

[00:40:28] understand it I say how could your mom how could the show they like you know

[00:40:31] I'm homeless but I still pay ten dollars every month I pay Nazi pricing I

[00:40:35] pay $15 every month and I'm in jail right now being sodomized every day for

[00:40:41] a crime I didn't commit so I mean obviously I can't understand the pain

[00:40:45] that you're going through as a rich man and a mental breakdown about too much

[00:40:48] success which you can't I'm sorry but yeah I may be sounding selfish here but

[00:40:54] you as a rape victim will never understand the pain of not knowing what

[00:40:58] to buy next I just don't know what it feels like we all have our own journey

[00:41:03] yes yeah and and trust me my position is much worse than yours so many more

[00:41:10] people experience what you're experiencing than what we are experiencing

[00:41:13] yeah right exactly this is a rare lot of people out there whose son has a brain

[00:41:17] tumor right right right right not many people have already bought the $800

[00:41:21] racing wheel right right you understand what it's like I know but no yeah man

[00:41:30] TV was like yeah I remember being just like a fucking loser and I love that

[00:41:35] show and like it's yeah it's nice to revisit I don't know what piece of

[00:41:39] media really made me feel good you know my family hours I was the best when I

[00:41:43] was like I loved it so much oh yeah dude when I was 11 my favorite shit was

[00:41:47] night at the Roxbury oh I was my favorite movie I love baby don't hurt me

[00:41:54] shout out Colin coin he was great in that maybe I should get into singing on

[00:41:57] the show yeah you are you're not a bad singer thank you yeah I got a little bit

[00:42:01] of cold right now so there's a little bit of residence in my nasal cavity

[00:42:05] that's fucking it out but dude I loved Chris Katan and my dad he used to piss

[00:42:09] my dad off because he was like he's gay how would you like yeah I'm like what

[00:42:15] you know what you you know what's good for learning how to be better at

[00:42:18] singing yeah is you just doing in a accent you do a pressure you think about

[00:42:23] it is doing an impression rather than actually say yeah that's true I guess

[00:42:27] the prerequisite for that is that you're already good it's impressions yeah

[00:42:30] does every piss you guys off how British people sing in an American

[00:42:34] accent American accent yeah that fucking stasis me off stay with your own shit

[00:42:38] yeah do your own accent you got your tell you what I want whatever I really

[00:42:42] won't do that's all that's all it is that's where they're from dude mm-hmm

[00:42:46] you're not from you fucking oh hi oh yeah singing an English accent you fucking

[00:42:52] except fat you idiot you fat or maybe we should just start doing it that way

[00:42:56] yeah what if we become British singers we're always 17 I had a very good year

[00:43:02] or add a very good year and something happened to something and now I'm a

[00:43:10] little bit older and I am 21 yeah who's that one guy that does sing British is

[00:43:20] that King cruel you know the killers do that killers do that shit they sing

[00:43:24] bracing Brita no no the fucking mr. Brightside that mr.

[00:43:32] brought that guy's kind of British no he doesn't that's the killers the killers

[00:43:36] and the suckin my dick killers and so why did I say the killers do that and you

[00:43:40] go no no no no no no I didn't I was responding to stuff oh just checking

[00:43:47] just policing a little good news from from London I know but he sings it

[00:43:51] British so respect to him yeah respect to him yeah he's the only British

[00:43:55] musician I respect have you ever seen a picture of him no like compared to what

[00:43:59] his voice sounds like it's very little skinny white guy yeah he's like looks

[00:44:03] like a child he looks like Ron Weasley nice yeah yeah he's like this but he

[00:44:10] sings like this speak you know a piece of media I watched recently was the thief

[00:44:16] who was Ron John Ron John surf shop that was a thing right huh Ron John yeah

[00:44:21] shot Ron now people used to wear that yeah a little shirt Ron John and Don

[00:44:28] Von Docks yeah yeah yeah do you remember no fear of course yeah yeah I have a no

[00:44:33] fear fanny pack somewhere in this room I bought Greece when I was 12 years old

[00:44:37] I had no fear sure that I got out of a church lost and found that I thought

[00:44:40] was so cool no tight no fear was awesome for like a fat little kid yeah that's

[00:44:46] what you thought was yeah I like I lived in a landlocked state I would wear like

[00:44:50] quicksilver billabong I wear all the fucking surf brands yeah no fear that's

[00:44:58] not surf dude that's a street where I thought it was surf no fuck no don't know

[00:45:03] I had a pair of board shorts there were no fear I mean they might have dipped

[00:45:07] their toes into the fucking into the ocean aquatic apparel dude can we please

[00:45:11] can you please get better and go to surf school in Australia I just want to

[00:45:15] see you in a fucking I hope so I hope I get surfed by the time I know the

[00:45:18] medicine isn't working I still have that feeling of like October yeah I'm

[00:45:22] ready I'm dreading this no it's gonna be great we're gonna feel great

[00:45:28] afterwards we should take a vacation it'll be like a vacation to no it's gonna

[00:45:32] be stressful dude it's like good it's gonna be a lot of travel a lot of big

[00:45:35] shows it's like there's no way this is how big are they how about this how about

[00:45:39] this fuck Australia who gives a fuck yeah I don't give a shit about all the

[00:45:42] suckers think of us yeah suck my fucking dick Australia you hear that okay well

[00:45:46] also yeah but you know you say that and like you obviously care about your

[00:45:50] fucking craft and you work on it all the time yeah but this podcast is stupid

[00:45:53] who cares yeah thanks a lot for fucking if Eric stand up yeah I'll be we are

[00:45:57] doing stand up we're doing stand up we have to do podcasting and stand great

[00:46:00] that's why so you guys you better get ready to find out about dating in New

[00:46:04] York City yeah we're gonna really bring the heat and eating pussy I can't eat

[00:46:07] three separate eating pussy yeah I'm doing all of them what's up they don't eat

[00:46:13] pussy in Australia they do it upside down but they do it side yeah we eat

[00:46:18] pouch pouch yeah yeah yeah we love to a chef the pouch the pouch

[00:46:26] everybody loves chomping pouch chomping pants yeah we the big as I pulled my

[00:46:32] dangla out and I said I'll get it on in a second as long as I chomp you

[00:46:36] patch for a minute just Australian dirty time yeah maybe maybe you can pull up

[00:46:44] and chop my ball stein clove here my balls

[00:46:52] now it's gonna be fun dude I'm sure will it's just you know it is stressful and

[00:46:56] we should go I guess I'm lying about things stressing me out I think that's a

[00:46:58] big problem is I'm gonna be a bit about this no I did there are stakes involved

[00:47:03] I do want to like be good at my job I mean you probably stress to that Caroline's

[00:47:06] but you're Carolinas yeah it's very stressful but I take it by the way to our

[00:47:10] boy little Nikki's gonna be in fucking Caroline's time square August what is

[00:47:15] it 9th 10th 11th I'm excited about it I mean yeah we did big hunt those were

[00:47:20] fine I guess yeah now you're gonna do good and then also the 12th we're gonna

[00:47:24] be at the motherfucking Autobar Baltimore baby live show come out to that

[00:47:28] that's gonna be all three boys and then I'll be that next weekend in Baltimore also

[00:47:34] the 18th at suspended brewing company then before that the 17th Charlottesville

[00:47:39] please come out and see buy tickets to that at the southern Jews will not

[00:47:43] replace us and then we're gonna have a son so I'm doing a little Charlottesville

[00:47:47] ball oh by the way on the last episode of the guy I couldn't remember his name is

[00:47:50] Tommy NC 2010 oh yeah the fedora fedora oh yeah that was yeah did you watch the

[00:47:57] whole thing I didn't watch it's 31 minutes but it was but it should be a TV

[00:48:01] show yeah that was a hundred thousand that was a pilot yeah that was incredible

[00:48:06] I used to love that guy I would watch that show yeah did you have more videos I

[00:48:10] didn't even check I think he did but I went I spent a lot of time on that video

[00:48:15] because it contains so much and it's such a portrait of such an absurd guy

[00:48:18] yeah that like it I remember being like overwhelmed when I saw it because when I

[00:48:23] saw it it was years ago yeah because before I think a lot of people knew who

[00:48:27] he was it was a in fact I think you show me because I remember those comics

[00:48:30] yeah I think I think I know either I know them personally I know someone

[00:48:35] what one of the two of them I think I met when I went through the south

[00:48:39] yeah yeah yeah yeah where was it's Asheville or some shit like that somewhere

[00:48:44] where Asheville or Nashville yeah yeah yeah what about a lot of people know this

[00:48:49] but Asheville and Nashville actually the same town that is not different place

[00:48:53] that I didn't know that there it's kind of like a Boston Austin thing same place

[00:48:58] same place in two different they're my trip to Austin was depressing as hell

[00:49:03] this last time we should go to Austin dude I was just there to solve a crime

[00:49:07] no not cuz I was solving the crime it's just like you know you fucking it's

[00:49:11] go bad I think means something to you and then it doesn't anymore and then you

[00:49:14] see it and you wanted to feel anything and you don't and it's like I know that

[00:49:18] feeling bro yeah life is just gonna be this process of me cherishing things and

[00:49:22] then they mean nothing to me and I don't remember anything that I learned or

[00:49:25] really what bearing it had on my development yeah it's just you know it's

[00:49:30] in there well sure it's in there but it is it is is to have like a to have it be

[00:49:39] actually present around me and to feel nothing it's like feeling death a little

[00:49:42] yeah that's that's how I feel about DC it's how I feel about going to see my

[00:49:45] grandma and like you know she doesn't remember who I am yeah that's kind of

[00:49:49] what it's like yeah it's like the city has dementia yes yes yeah Nick and I went

[00:49:54] to the floor and we're just staring blankly into each other's eyes feeling

[00:49:58] nothing I know we were the Florida Avenue and Grill and we're like oh yeah

[00:50:03] this place rules dude also Jeff Stein box we saw we saw Jeff Stein box there

[00:50:09] oh my god and yeah yeah so I go up to him like hey can we get a picture with you

[00:50:14] and he's like I really don't want a picture like absolutely not I'm not

[00:50:18] I don't he's like I'm really I'm good I don't want a picture and then he's like

[00:50:21] oh by the way Adam I heard you on DACA's thing it was very good that guy

[00:50:26] wouldn't take a picture wouldn't take a picture would have been awesome yeah I

[00:50:29] felt like sort of bad for like two minutes afterwards but then fuck him yeah

[00:50:35] it was like I wrote an article that I probably shouldn't have written what

[00:50:38] I'm the left and I was like Jeff don't worry dude we came out of that thing

[00:50:43] looking the yeah it's like I didn't give a shit give a shit at all with you

[00:50:47] think the people interviewed that anyone else that was like associated with

[00:50:52] that or who wrote everyone thought you look stupid yeah you came off you

[00:50:56] embarrassed yourself professionally unfuckable on our podcast we're

[00:51:01] ugly you were yeah yeah yeah yeah which by the way not as ugly in real life

[00:51:06] no no Jeff looks okay guys just had a horrible headshot yeah he just he's

[00:51:09] particularly unphotogenic because the staring at him straight on makes you

[00:51:13] think that there's like a grander depth to his baby-ish mouth that's it's so

[00:51:19] far behind that hook nose but when up close yeah in profile it's you know

[00:51:26] manageable you can at least process this man visually and not one of vomit or

[00:51:30] it was so funny his friends like we were talking to him and he was like

[00:51:33] visibly nervous and then I kind of felt bad he was out of saying this man was

[00:51:36] scared of Adam you know Adam Adam's an intimidate we walk past and then we walk

[00:51:44] back and we're like Jeffy Jeff that's not a no we I said we walk past him like

[00:51:49] oh that's Jeff Stein and then I said like listen and I turned around I said

[00:51:52] let's go see if we can get a picture with him but we weren't like Jeffy Jeffy

[00:51:57] yeah this was that wasn't happening I said work of fiction that Adam is

[00:52:00] creating it said absolute fabrication maybe I'm putting a little sprinkling

[00:52:05] you're making yourself sound cool or have you seen a little movie by the name of

[00:52:09] big fish okay it's about how all stories are fake and lies how about uh yeah

[00:52:18] oh that's awesome he's like well so I'm just like a motherfucker fish is that

[00:52:25] who I am to you biggest just a fish oh not a big one yeah come on Adam god damn it

[00:52:32] it's so obvious oh I thought I thought it was big blank why would it be that

[00:52:38] why would I just not say that anyway wow so shout out to Jeff still doing good

[00:52:47] work anyway yeah so I felt sort of bad and then and then I was like don't worry

[00:52:51] dude we came out of that looking alright and he was like absolutely you guys

[00:52:54] looked great you like you guys were I really don't want a picture yeah he's

[00:53:00] right though that's again move on yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely

[00:53:06] I was like we're not trying to fuck with you and it's like yeah that's all we do

[00:53:09] that is our entire existence he's fucking with people yeah he's like I heard you

[00:53:15] on DACA's pod yeah I was like what the fuck that's oh yeah right it's like

[00:53:20] doc didn't even it's like doc there's no reason even say that but so

[00:53:25] blatantly just lying to try and establish any kind of middle ground to

[00:53:29] get us to go away and then his friends were like Jeff what's going on yeah his

[00:53:34] real guys yeah weird friends weird friends cuz you know they just sat there

[00:53:38] at breakfast going like remember homework I really miss that and then he's

[00:53:46] like don't worry I know these guys yeah he's like oh Jeff our uber seer her

[00:53:52] uber series like guys I have to get the super I'm terribly sorry we're like

[00:53:57] don't worry about it dude I kind of felt bad like we made him nervous or

[00:54:00] like you say it he should have been well then afterwards I was like well fuck

[00:54:03] then he like just he runs back in his apartment goes in the bathroom and he's

[00:54:07] like oh just beating off there's like you're a fag it you're such a fag

[00:54:12] you're a fag and a fag and a fag and a few oh she's like coming as hard as

[00:54:19] you ever come as a tire like yeah that was that was his prostate hurts I

[00:54:24] I wish dude. I wish I could just that would be great if I could just be publicly humiliated and be into that

[00:54:29] Yeah, because it would be so easy for me. I'm in this perfect position to just if I could turn this like mental health

[00:54:35] Breakdown into a way to make me calm. Mm-hmm. God damn. That would be nice. What a beautiful life to live

[00:54:43] Just being publicly abused and coming from it. I don't want that. Yeah, I want to come because of big soft titties

[00:54:49] Yeah kisses on my neck. Yeah, this is on your neck

[00:54:54] Yeah, don't you like getting your dick written and I don't like being touched in any way by anybody what?

[00:55:00] No, I said that jokingly, but it is kind of

[00:55:04] Would you fuck Nick? Would you fucking a hazmat suit with just the dick part cut out course J style baby?

[00:55:11] Jay, you

[00:55:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, he brew ass P.U. S. Y. You know I said dude

[00:55:20] I saw some of those kids the other day and it got so sad was hossed kids

[00:55:25] It was raining outside and this one kid was just dancing

[00:55:29] And I was like oh god that's tragic. He lives like the shitty community where he's like movie the Indian and the cupboard

[00:55:35] Yeah, of course that movies to bum me

[00:55:37] I don't know if I said it on the show before but used to confuse me cuz he also had a friend that was Indian

[00:55:41] Yeah, I didn't know which one the title referred

[00:55:48] Obviously one of the Indians I just thought that there was some other there was something

[00:55:53] Artistically that I wasn't properly

[00:55:55] It was just shitty it was shitty. Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, most I like kids movie suck

[00:56:00] Yeah, cuz it's like a toy

[00:56:01] But then like the kid understands that the Indians were persecuted. It's about oppression

[00:56:05] I think so I mean the kid understands like learns the story of American Indians and then you know

[00:56:14] The Indians lonely because he doesn't have a wife or whatever

[00:56:17] The kid doesn't have like a friendly relationship with the Indian

[00:56:20] It's like a man trying to live his own life and he just becomes this like plaything for the child

[00:56:25] Well, isn't it a toy that he puts in the closet and it becomes an actual man. Yeah, but it's I mean

[00:56:32] I don't I can't I would can barely pull the plot out of my memory, but I mean it feels like it's like, you know, I

[00:56:41] Guess some sort of metaphor for the relationship in the closet for being in the closet. Oh, I'm not Gary

[00:56:48] But also like contemporary American attitudes towards Native American identities where it's been sort of like absorbed into

[00:56:55] American culture, but it's like

[00:56:57] Operation kind of

[00:56:59] Them and now we treat them as like this plaything like a great or whatever not a joke

[00:57:04] But I mean not like a source of mockery, but it's that's exactly the argument for like sports teams like no

[00:57:09] It's a tribute. It's like you have no way of

[00:57:11] Tributing these people that we it's not like it's not like would you have a team called the Jews

[00:57:15] It would be like if Nazi Germany had a team called the Jews

[00:57:18] Yeah, the Byron Munich Jews, yeah, they should change their shit big-ass Jews

[00:57:30] Yeah, I mean like

[00:57:32] What was I gonna say yeah, and they also all of them now have diabetes and alcoholism. Yeah, me too

[00:57:40] Yeah, you know what movie I was watched I've been watching a lot of movies. I watch blue chips

[00:57:44] Yeah, I do penny and check and I just before they were both on the

[00:57:50] On the magic the magic they met there

[00:57:53] I just like couldn't get in the movie because like yeah, you should pay athletes who cares about paying them

[00:57:58] That's like this big moral problem, and it's like no Nick Nolte. You're being an asshole the booster is right

[00:58:03] Yeah, you should get paid. Yeah, well another funny movie. I watch was the thief which is very good

[00:58:09] The I'm sorry thief. Yeah, Michael man Michael man's first. That's a great movie. It's really good

[00:58:15] There's a point where he's trying to get there's some great unintentional

[00:58:18] I mean just some great like of the times racism. He's trying to get a fucking kid

[00:58:23] He's going to adoption agency, and they won't let him because he's a single man

[00:58:26] You get no because he's a gay single man

[00:58:30] Con of convict homosexual man living by himself no and and they're like look sorry

[00:58:34] There's so many people on the waiting list we can't give an ex-con and he's like all right

[00:58:39] I'll take whatever you I'll take you know I'll take whatever you got I'll take a black kid

[00:58:42] I'll take a chinkie

[00:58:47] That's just fucking laughs so fucking hard dude I watched hoodsy the other night and

[00:58:52] They didn't I guess cuz trans wasn't a thing back then like the response to people finding out that he was a man

[00:58:58] Was that he was gay yeah?

[00:59:00] That he was dressing up like a woman because that's what gay people still that still would but you say that with like this like

[00:59:07] Mocking tone is if that doesn't make sense

[00:59:10] What do you mean of course no it doesn't make sense?

[00:59:13] Gay guys don't dress up as women yeah, but I mean like gay being an umbrella term for like

[00:59:20] LGBT or queer identities prior to like all of these micro distinction

[00:59:24] Yeah, it still is what most people think in the world yeah, but it's like most people think that probably yeah

[00:59:29] Right people in fucking Albania. Isn't you like that think that uh-huh?

[00:59:33] That's what there was I mean and I don't know I don't know but I mean I would assume that like if there were

[00:59:40] trans people with a trans as modern description of a transgender identity in

[00:59:45] 1950 they themselves are probably like yeah, I guess I'm gay I feel like a woman

[00:59:50] So yeah

[00:59:52] Right so it's not like oh how dare they I

[00:59:56] Think that it like the first one if you thought you were a woman prior to any exterior

[01:00:03] Description of a transgender identity you would assume you were gay because that's the closest thing it fits into uh-huh

[01:00:09] If you had no way of describing ass trans people that thought like yeah

[01:00:13] Of course fucked up like yeah, really hard titties and shit. There was that late. There was that trans woman

[01:00:18] Yeah, that stonewall who like got

[01:00:20] Yeah, her head bashed in and then got banned from Facebook for referring to herself as she's like yeah an old

[01:00:28] Trainee like me and then she got banned from Facebook for saying the word dream. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a good world to live in

[01:00:34] Yeah, yeah, what?

[01:00:36] She got to fuck honestly fuck Facebook. Yeah, it's so good. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

[01:00:40] Zuckerberg you cock. Yeah, everyone hates him. I'm gonna get off everyone. I'm soon. Are you?

[01:00:46] Yeah, just because it's like why not complete the

[01:00:48] The trifecta right yeah, I got to figure out a way to get banned and I can't do it intentionally because that's not how the game works

[01:00:55] Yeah, you know, you got to push what isn't by thinking it isn't that intentionally?

[01:01:00] No, you just have to have disdain for it and let that come out through your art the art of posting the art of

[01:01:08] Sun to yeah, yeah, the art of posting

[01:01:11] You should write the art of posting the kill yourself

[01:01:19] Bible

[01:01:22] Just fucking nerd 400 years from now reading it

[01:01:26] Well, I was laughing about the other day imagining like so the goal is with the Netflix guy and Papa John both of them got in trouble

[01:01:33] For using the n-word

[01:01:35] Referentially you know

[01:01:37] Saying someone else said it which like I don't care. I don't care to defend it

[01:01:42] But like no, you said that you do have to say

[01:01:47] It's not true, you know that guy is like fucked up in other ways. I also don't give a shit about CEOs

[01:01:53] I don't give a shit about some fucking executive

[01:01:55] Yeah, but you do have to like at least pause and be like people shouldn't be getting in trouble for referential uses a use of the

[01:02:01] N word the argument like well, it's still damaging the people shouldn't be accepted. I really don't care

[01:02:07] That's like one of those things where it's like

[01:02:10] You know

[01:02:11] You have to like maintain some kind of distinction between the two if the guy's like now

[01:02:16] You can be careful because sometimes we'll use it

[01:02:19] Referentially knowing that it'll trigger somebody or whatever. I mean there's ways around it sure

[01:02:24] With Ryan Stout Ryan Stout used to do that joke about how like I never said anywhere

[01:02:29] I don't even say vinegar, you know, but if you were like saying vinegar knowing that the content of the word contains it

[01:02:35] You know obviously I mean if you can be honest with yourself about it anyways the point is

[01:02:41] Is that so the goal ultimately? I guess is to get to a point where the M word doesn't exist at all either

[01:02:47] Referentially or anybody using it just to erase it from memory because that would be an ideal circumstance

[01:02:52] I'm assuming for the people that have a big like a big problem with the word right like people are gonna say it

[01:02:58] Well, yeah, but you I mean you would have to make them stop saying it too. Otherwise

[01:03:03] Well, then it'll then it'll continue to exist forever

[01:03:06] But if you let's say if you got rid of the N word the problem will then it'll become an

[01:03:10] Acronistic slur sort of this like blast theme that is from forever ago

[01:03:15] It'll be funny again like why it won't be funny again

[01:03:18] What it'll be is like a weird curse word that only extreme nerds use like sounds

[01:03:23] And then they'll just be like nerds going around being like

[01:03:28] And a good to chariot speed to you nigga

[01:03:33] It has become this bizarre thing that nerds say only because it's from the past

[01:03:40] Yeah, and that's what that and you don't want to create that. You don't want a bunch of Renfest guys going around

[01:03:46] I think that's a funny if we could it's a funny outcome. Yeah, yeah, certainly that's pretty good to me

[01:03:52] Yeah, go buy a fucking big turkey leg and sit in the rent fair and just hear a bunch of fucking guys

[01:03:58] Say it over and over again. No, I know I know I violated my own rule there. You did. Yeah, I did not say

[01:04:04] Referentially you said it you said the way I said hypothetically hypothetically, which is like

[01:04:08] I'm not kind of how Papa John said the only thing that Trump can do now is say and then I said

[01:04:14] I would love to take a college course on this being able to say the end word. Yeah, this semantic contextual

[01:04:21] actual

[01:04:23] The n-word and when it's appropriate and then it's just a

[01:04:26] Professor coming in the class

[01:04:28] Just

[01:04:33] Incredibly

[01:04:35] Just ear to ear smile is it wrong is it right in what circumstances welcome to class?

[01:04:49] Welcome to cool college

[01:04:52] What is so you're Nick you're fast you're fascinated by it right because it's a taboo

[01:04:57] What is what is the what is like you're like it is interesting? I guess I mean I wouldn't have

[01:05:05] Power in culture, right? Sure, right? Okay. Well, we'll agree there. I'm just like I'm I don't know

[01:05:12] Is it because it's the thing you're not allowed to do? Probably maybe I'm not fascinated by it

[01:05:18] I mean, it's also like kind of the dish that this show is in sure I am

[01:05:23] I mean, it's the thing that I do have to show it for sure. Yeah

[01:05:26] Like when a pizza guy says it it gets loses his empire. That's like that's our fucking wheelhouse right there

[01:05:33] Yeah, it is so funny. Well, that Papa John says it and he you know

[01:05:38] It's like the stocks plummet, but it's like

[01:05:41] Anybody who knows anything about pizza delivery or the world would be out of their fucking mind if they didn't think every single

[01:05:49] Papa John's delivery driver is just shouting that is

[01:05:53] Thinking it every fucking time

[01:05:56] They have to take a pizza to certain

[01:06:00] I mean you're out of your mind if you don't think that that's what's going on

[01:06:05] Yeah

[01:06:06] That is true

[01:06:08] But that's the kind of shit that you know, it's like oh well, we'll just let it

[01:06:14] For that for

[01:06:16] You know ultimately like make it like getting mad at Papa John for saying something like that doesn't really address or solve any kind of problem

[01:06:23] No, it doesn't do anything

[01:06:26] But it just makes it makes people feel good

[01:06:33] Yeah

[01:06:40] He rules John John whatever the fuck is that fucking I mean, it's just like obviously

[01:06:45] I mean the reason you should be removed from his job is because like a CEO

[01:06:49] Should be better at yeah, should I'm just taking decisions?

[01:06:53] Yeah, exactly

[01:06:55] Whatever man

[01:06:57] For fuck John whatever man. This is boring. Who cares?

[01:07:02] What should I do with the rest of my day I'm back on drugs

[01:07:06] I'm gonna take a nice big SH TI taking an eldest bathroom. I will

[01:07:11] He's not here for another couple hours. Where did he go? He went to the lake with a

[01:07:18] Bitch, he's his GF to please don't use that with his bitch

[01:07:22] His B ISH and then they've noticed this thing where I can't spell anything

[01:07:27] Yeah, it's my new move his dumbass bought spirit a spirit 11 p.m. Flight and got canceled

[01:07:32] Oh, no, so I let him borrow my fucking car to drive to fucking Michigan

[01:07:36] So I hope that dumbass I'll be in this and crash it. Oh, yeah, cuz I fucked your car up

[01:07:42] Oh, I was out of town. What happened? He was just driving all we just whipping that shit

[01:07:46] He was driving the way he felt

[01:07:49] He was driving my car there. Oh, by the way

[01:07:52] You fuck a 95 on the way back and I was like Nick like are the cops chasing you're driving like a getaway driver

[01:07:58] Yeah, dog. I hey, I'm gonna lose your car privileges

[01:08:01] He's going into like the exit like car like swerving back into the shoulders. Yeah

[01:08:07] Attraction shit that's off and by the way you animals who fucking doesn't fill the who doesn't fill the fucking tank up man

[01:08:13] I did

[01:08:15] We filled the tank in Jersey. Yeah, I filled in Jersey. So yeah, that's probably what I and pretty late in the trip to I thought it was

[01:08:22] Unless someone stole that no, I feel I never like partially fill the tank. I'll fill the tank by that

[01:08:28] Yeah, we'll hit you for gas though. I'm just saying like are we driving it back down to Baltimore next weekend?

[01:08:33] Maybe oh are you going to LA Nick? What's going on? Yeah, I might need to fly out of BWI after the show

[01:08:38] Okay, perfect cuz I might just stay there cuz I have that show cool

[01:08:41] Can you drive do you know how long it takes to get to be baby?

[01:08:43] I from like Audubar. We think the time to get there is like an hour to be safe

[01:08:49] To be safe

[01:08:51] No, not even probably half

[01:08:53] Yeah, maybe let's say 40 minutes to be very safe 40 minutes and then the show probably what where it's the seven o'clock show

[01:08:59] I think it's eight eight o'clock. Yeah, so I guess we wrap nine nine fifteen nine thirty. We can be on the road ten

[01:09:06] Third. Yeah, there's no way I can do it last flight out. It's gonna be like ten thirty nine a shot

[01:09:10] How long you gonna be in LA? I don't know a couple days. Okay. Go hang out with Kurt. Yeah

[01:09:15] That show is so fucking funny by the way the SBC show actually it's not because only white man wrote on it

[01:09:24] Excuse me, but the show is it's there's nothing funny about it at all

[01:09:29] It's not good the only good shows are written by women who have just started comedy. I

[01:09:36] Think brand new to this clearly clearly the best character the most inspired is the Israeli. Yeah

[01:09:42] I mean, he's heading shoulders the libs are it is like grown on me

[01:09:46] That one's all right the one where he was calling a black people afra. What was it Afro?

[01:09:52] Shit

[01:09:53] Fuck it's good. It got better at the mosque one. That was really fun. The mosque was amazing

[01:09:57] The battle rap the battle rap was fucking insane. I didn't see that one yet. The third episode is I've been topped

[01:10:03] At the bottom like fire. Yeah, I'm gonna check that out. Oh, it Afro marginalized

[01:10:08] That's what he's calling a black people Afra marginalized people who's the other one he has

[01:10:13] Basically the two main ones are the libtard and the the info was guys whatever

[01:10:18] I don't think that's that good that one. He's American accent isn't like kind of throws you on

[01:10:22] Honestly, the Israeli is so good. It's so fucking because it's perfect. It's exactly what those what's a real guy

[01:10:28] It's a real guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's exactly like those were probably just like idolizing one

[01:10:34] There's so many of those like ex-mosad guys that work in like private security now in the United States

[01:10:39] Yeah, we're just like fucking psychopaths. Yeah, and you can give them like a fucking like

[01:10:44] dessert spread and a fucking swag bag and some sort of fake plaque and they'll say literally anything you want them to say

[01:10:51] That shit's really fun. It's really good dude. Yeah, there's another one like an Italian guy. It's not that it's like oh the photographer

[01:10:59] That wasn't good. Yeah, that was weird because it's like well, that's the only one I wrote I guess

[01:11:03] Did you know the only characters I saw when I was in the room are working on it were the

[01:11:10] Libtard professor the guy in the wheelchair and then the British criminal

[01:11:16] The British criminals only been in one sketch in the first those were the only three when I was working on those

[01:11:21] Were the only three that they really lived the Libtard one is so good. It's it's better

[01:11:26] You'll see you'll see in the third episode. It was much better than the second episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah

[01:11:34] Yeah, where he talks about like

[01:11:36] Oh, the second is the second one where he talks about how oh no the first one

[01:11:39] Oh, right the first one's like he's like with a fat woman and her gay republican husband and he's like

[01:11:45] Yeah, talking about how his wife fucks dolphins. They got a whole wide six months of years

[01:11:50] But well those people were kind of cool and nice, you know, he didn't like really like

[01:11:54] Hold on. Hold on. Here's what I think at it

[01:12:00] Anyway, so

[01:12:03] What are we doing? I got a drive back. I got a car. Why do you have to drive back?

[01:12:08] Um, let's go to the park

[01:12:10] You want to go to the park right now with stop? I can't go to the park. Let's put him in a wheelchair

[01:12:13] We let's get you a wheelchair

[01:12:15] Oh, you know what we should do though is go down to the aqueduct and take the stops bet on bet on some bet on the ponies

[01:12:20] That would be fun. You know throw some bones on bones on them ponies

[01:12:23] Is it race season my shirtless handicap friend

[01:12:27] He only has bathing suit

[01:12:30] My my large breasted handicap me and my large breasted handicap dissociate would like to bet

[01:12:36] $10 on your finest horse, please

[01:12:40] He's just got jelly on his tits. Yeah, just jelly just peanut butter and jelly all over his breath

[01:12:46] I had to check

[01:12:48] Yeah, niggas saying earlier. He's like we're gonna get there. So I'm gonna be entirely glazed

[01:12:55] Uh, I can't wait till this is gonna Kramer cooks himself. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, butter butter base himself

[01:13:03] Uh, I want to go to the beach this week, but you can't go. I'm fucking trapped

[01:13:08] Well, she got a wheelchair

[01:13:10] I will once I figure out what that MRI says my weekend's over today's sunday this week. I said oh

[01:13:18] How much time have we done? We're well past it an hour and 13 years, huh?

[01:13:24] Two years two years of my life

[01:13:27] How long do you think we just keep talking we should do one marathon app? Yeah, that's just like 10 hours long

[01:13:34] we gotta do that when nick goes off his meds and uh

[01:13:37] We all have like yeah, we all have like drug

[01:13:44] You guys can stay in my home when we do the auto bar show

[01:13:47] Yeah, I guess i'll just sleep and can you give me ride the airport like six a.m

[01:13:53] Maybe i'll take a cab or something. Yeah, let's take a little oops

[01:13:57] Um

[01:13:58] Yeah, i'm looking forward to that live show. It's gonna be man. This week's gonna be stressful

[01:14:02] We'll figure that it'd be fine, but I just I don't want to have to do all this fucking shit

[01:14:06] Yeah, the carolized to the live shows back to back back to back dude

[01:14:10] You got your boys though and we're here to support you and you're gonna

[01:14:14] No, it'll be fine. It'll be fine dude. I'm not like worried about it. It's just like

[01:14:19] Five shows and a fucking live show then i gotta get on a plane

[01:14:22] The five shows will be good dude. Once you start doing stand-up once I do one it'll be fine

[01:14:26] But like even when I was a feature act like I dreaded that Wednesday night show

[01:14:31] But that was nice because it's the warm-up. It's the warm-up, but it's like every you know, I like

[01:14:37] It's so funny. I like I think back on like a decade of going and doing weekends and I always just dreaded it

[01:14:43] I would never I know you mean no like oh every time I just dreaded it and it was like just get to friday late show

[01:14:50] And then it's the home stretch and the shows could be going great. It was just that like

[01:14:55] Every and then as soon as you're on stage is fine. It was good. But the second you're on stage

[01:15:00] It's fine. Yeah, but I just like

[01:15:03] Hate doing stand like I always just a terrified

[01:15:07] Really good after like the getting five sets up. It'll be yeah, and some like someone be good someone will be fucking bad

[01:15:14] Bad, you know, I'm sure be up and down, but it's like, you know, I mean I know how to do this shit

[01:15:18] It's just I think like by the fifth show your hour is gonna be really I gotta just like stop pretending that I don't have anxiety about doing things

[01:15:24] Yeah, yeah, sure that I think that's like what fucked me up to

[01:15:28] Yeah, yeah, and then just doing a bunch of cocaine

[01:15:32] So go see Nick this week

[01:15:34] 9 10 11 at motherfucking carolines then we will be at

[01:15:38] Baltimore the auto bar come town live the 12th

[01:15:41] I will be and Charlottesville on the 17th at the southern. I will be back in Baltimore

[01:15:46] At the spended brewing company on the 18th and that's me and my little brother George house is art by judsy on instagram

[01:15:53] Dz o Dz ie he's a very good artist. He's on a gallery opening and I'm doing a show at eight o'clock

[01:15:58] So please come out to that and then I'm back in Philly good good comedy theater on the 19th

[01:16:04] And then on the first on the I'm sorry the second we're in Cleveland at the

[01:16:10] Accidental Comedy Festival at 420

[01:16:13] Light it up bitch

[01:16:15] Doing a live potter than in Boston. We are at the motherfucking Boston Comedy Festival

[01:16:19] On the third Monday eight o'clock laugh Boston and then just sold out sold out. We're gonna try and get

[01:16:27] We're gonna try to get a second show or something

[01:16:29] And then I'm gonna be in Connecticut the Fairfield counter club on the 7th more shit coming up guys

[01:16:34] I'm in New Orleans personally. I'm in motherfucking Chicago in September

[01:16:39] And then October motherfucking Australia and then we're going to the south

[01:16:43] She's chomping pouch chomping patch come on suck my big. What'd you call it? Boss dang?

[01:16:52] Um so good so yeah

[01:16:54] Check us out go to stavi.biz

[01:16:57] You can find

[01:16:58] All my dates and then I also have links to all the come town live shows there so stavi sta vvy

[01:17:03] y dot biz bye guys bye bye everyone

[01:17:33] You