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Ep. XXB - Mike Bilandic

TAFS | Premium | 08/22/2022

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Adam Friedlage.
[00:00:29] Today, special guest.
[00:00:32] Would you like to introduce yourself?
[00:00:35] Michael Belandek.
[00:00:37] It's our friend Michael Belandek.
[00:00:38] Film director.
[00:00:40] Michael Belandek.
[00:00:41] One of the things we promise the audience is that we're going to have a lot finer guests
[00:00:46] than we've had in the past.
[00:00:48] We've had the drags of society.
[00:00:51] We've had pedophiles.
[00:00:53] People have done hard time.
[00:00:55] We're going to get esteemed guests now.
[00:01:01] Who more esteemed than our friend Michael Belandek?
[00:01:03] Director of such projects as Project Space 13, Job's World, Hell Aware.
[00:01:12] What else am I forgetting anything else?
[00:01:14] Happy life.
[00:01:15] Happy life.
[00:01:16] He did Happy Feet.
[00:01:17] He did Cars 3.
[00:01:19] Cars 3.
[00:01:20] Wally.
[00:01:21] Now, Wally, you drew all that shit yourself, correct?
[00:01:25] Yeah.
[00:01:26] Did it all, man.
[00:01:29] All the audio, visuals, storyboards.
[00:01:34] Would you say in most of your movies, you come in and say, I'm going to do it all myself?
[00:01:39] Yeah.
[00:01:40] Absolutely not.
[00:01:41] No, that's like people like Kubrick who's like literally better than every person who
[00:01:44] can take the cameras, film better than grab the sound recording stuff, do better audio
[00:01:50] than them.
[00:01:51] And that's called autoretherian.
[00:01:52] That's a French word that means what?
[00:01:54] It's the most famous.
[00:01:55] Yes.
[00:01:56] Yeah.
[00:01:57] And I'm the complete.
[00:01:58] I'm sorry, I can't do anything.
[00:01:59] Mike, real quick, can you choke up on the camera a little?
[00:02:01] Or the mic?
[00:02:02] Yeah, yeah.
[00:02:03] Hey, this is a literally just almost kiss of the end.
[00:02:05] All right.
[00:02:06] Yeah.
[00:02:07] These are rock star microphones.
[00:02:08] Yeah, I can't do any of that shit.
[00:02:09] So I just try and work with people that know how to do that stuff.
[00:02:12] Okay.
[00:02:13] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Adam Freethel.
[00:02:15] Welcome to Adam Freelel and show Adam, and you have a monologue this week or no?
[00:02:20] No, we do not have a monologue this week too.
[00:02:23] No, I think you're aware of that before we start.
[00:02:25] Yeah, I thought this was going to be a studio experience.
[00:02:27] Yeah.
[00:02:28] We're kind of we as studios, studios, we're going to, it's closed for business for the
[00:02:33] week.
[00:02:34] So the studio is not in shape right now.
[00:02:36] Yeah, we'll be back in studio soon.
[00:02:41] But for now, we're going to not talk about the studio.
[00:02:45] We're going to add him, if he doesn't want to do a monologue, doesn't have to do a monologue,
[00:02:49] it's the Adam Freel and show.
[00:02:50] So it's sort of like a, it's like a big, it's like Adam's sort of, and I'm not saying
[00:02:55] this in a critical way.
[00:02:56] It's sort of like a, like a big fat retard playing with his own shit.
[00:03:00] Mm hmm.
[00:03:01] You know, and imagine just- I'm not taking that as a critical thing at all.
[00:03:04] Yeah.
[00:03:05] So imagine like a retarded boy who plays with his own shit, but he's laid, you know, he's
[00:03:10] vegan now.
[00:03:11] They put him on a vegan diet.
[00:03:13] So he's just got fiber blasting the crayons and play dough through his system at warp
[00:03:19] speed.
[00:03:20] And he's laid out the biggest turn he's ever seen.
[00:03:22] Yeah.
[00:03:23] And now it's free for him to mold it.
[00:03:25] And right now the stage Adam is in as the shit playing Mongoloid is he's so proud of
[00:03:33] this giant turn that he's taken that he's afraid to sculpt it into anything for the
[00:03:38] simple fact that he's, he lives in a world of quantity.
[00:03:41] You know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he sees it and he says, I want to weigh this turd.
[00:03:46] I want to know how big it is.
[00:03:47] I want people, I want my legacy to be the guy that took a shit that weighs expounds.
[00:03:53] Yeah.
[00:03:54] Rather than actually create something beautiful by some subtractive process, he's afraid
[00:03:58] of editing I guess is really bad.
[00:04:00] Yeah, absolutely.
[00:04:02] It's, I'm a, I'm a maximalist I believe.
[00:04:04] Because a true, a true artist and non, you know, somebody that wasn't a coward at all,
[00:04:08] they would whittle that giant turd all the way down to nothing.
[00:04:11] It'd be left with a single peanut.
[00:04:13] Yeah.
[00:04:14] You know, just a little single peanut grain.
[00:04:17] So then somebody will walk in 99% of people walking by.
[00:04:20] They wouldn't even notice it.
[00:04:22] Maybe somebody say that's a peanut.
[00:04:23] That was one surmountive.
[00:04:25] That was maybe a peanut that came out of a piece of shit, but it's just a peanut.
[00:04:28] But somebody would walk by perhaps the director of Wally and say, that is a work of a peanut
[00:04:34] of art.
[00:04:35] Yeah.
[00:04:36] And that's sort of, that's, that's the Adam Friedland show and the direction we're hoping
[00:04:39] to go.
[00:04:40] Yeah.
[00:04:41] I mean, well, you can't really force the creative process.
[00:04:42] Sometimes you have to just wade in the pool of shit for a while until you know, went to
[00:04:47] Molta right and then, or you have some other people splash in the shit and force it in
[00:04:51] other ways, you know.
[00:04:52] Uh huh.
[00:04:53] See, you're exciting to see this natural or can.
[00:04:55] Well, he doesn't, you don't need to explain it to him.
[00:04:57] This is the, this is fine filmmaker.
[00:04:59] Yeah.
[00:05:00] This is a guy's a filmmaker.
[00:05:02] You ever do any pornography?
[00:05:03] Ever worked?
[00:05:04] Did you get started in pornography?
[00:05:06] I actually did.
[00:05:07] Yeah.
[00:05:08] When I was at school.
[00:05:09] Do you find that most filmmakers get started in pornography and then move on to?
[00:05:13] I think the use, definitely that was like a lot of the guys you met at Pixar did.
[00:05:17] They get started in child pornography and then they, you know, because you got to work
[00:05:20] different path.
[00:05:21] Yeah.
[00:05:22] Yeah.
[00:05:23] You got to work your way up.
[00:05:24] Because you get initiated into the, you know, that circle.
[00:05:27] Yeah.
[00:05:28] But I did when I was in college, I did a documentary about these guys who were in the
[00:05:33] first people to get, they got after a Columbine.
[00:05:36] They made the first Columbine movie called Duck, the Carbine High Massacre.
[00:05:41] And they got arrested for bringing real guns to a school.
[00:05:43] It was just kind of like Sean video, low budget experience, but they would also make porn
[00:05:48] movies that were like paid for by people that they go, I want you to wear this off.
[00:05:53] I don't want to do this thing.
[00:05:55] So I followed them on the set of a movie called orgasm torture in Satan's rape clinic
[00:06:01] that they shot in New Jersey.
[00:06:03] And well, where else would you shoot that?
[00:06:05] Yeah.
[00:06:06] That's right.
[00:06:07] Have you been to New Jersey?
[00:06:09] Yeah.
[00:06:10] Yeah.
[00:06:11] I was in a wood in New Jersey and I sort of followed the process of making that and
[00:06:15] they debuted it at a chiller, the horror convention.
[00:06:18] And yeah, it almost got an HBO on the show called a pornicopia.
[00:06:22] Oh, I remember that show.
[00:06:24] It didn't.
[00:06:25] And I thought it was going to have a great career directing pornicopia, getting to be
[00:06:30] like a pervert and it just didn't happen.
[00:06:33] Yeah.
[00:06:34] And then you wound up in children's entertainment.
[00:06:35] You know, I mean, it always is.
[00:06:38] Yeah.
[00:06:39] That's sort of the Louis Anderson story.
[00:06:40] Yeah, it's true.
[00:06:41] You wanted to just be a fat gay freak.
[00:06:44] He thought he was just going to have sex with young men.
[00:06:46] Yeah.
[00:06:47] And then hot young boy toys.
[00:06:49] And then out of nowhere, he became the star of the Fox box, you know, and the finest
[00:06:54] stand up comedian in the mirror.
[00:06:55] Yeah.
[00:06:56] Yeah.
[00:06:57] Yeah.
[00:06:58] And the family feud in the Louis Anderson household is more their son became such a fat fag.
[00:07:07] That was a big feud in that household.
[00:07:09] Yeah.
[00:07:10] I think that's the norm.
[00:07:12] You start there.
[00:07:13] Yeah.
[00:07:14] And there that's, you know, entertainment industry.
[00:07:16] Yeah.
[00:07:17] Yeah.
[00:07:18] Yeah.
[00:07:19] Is he dead?
[00:07:20] I'm hoping he's dead.
[00:07:21] He's dead.
[00:07:22] He died last year.
[00:07:23] Okay.
[00:07:24] Good.
[00:07:25] Thank God.
[00:07:26] Thank God.
[00:07:27] I don't want to have to hear from Louis Anderson's people.
[00:07:28] Yeah.
[00:07:29] Because of his fat bloated corpse.
[00:07:30] You're turning into water custard.
[00:07:34] That's for sure.
[00:07:35] Yeah.
[00:07:36] So wait, so you followed these these perverts around and then and then it just came to
[00:07:40] not you're saying what was the movie itself about?
[00:07:45] Or I don't really remember the plot of it.
[00:07:48] There were people fucking though.
[00:07:49] They were.
[00:07:50] Yeah.
[00:07:51] It was I think it was just lesbian and classy.
[00:07:54] But yeah, so the idea was I made this like short and then we had the head of HBO nonfiction
[00:08:00] was our teacher and she did all those great like banging and little rock and like, you
[00:08:05] know, small tonnex, see all those great.
[00:08:07] Oh, they try to cover.
[00:08:09] Yeah.
[00:08:10] Exactly.
[00:08:11] Like Chinese and Denver.
[00:08:12] That's one of my favorites.
[00:08:13] Yeah.
[00:08:14] I love that.
[00:08:15] Why is this a fucking cold?
[00:08:16] So they got me all hyped up.
[00:08:17] That was fucked up.
[00:08:18] Yeah.
[00:08:19] Yeah.
[00:08:20] There's no there.
[00:08:21] No train to make it cold.
[00:08:22] Yeah.
[00:08:23] So they got me all hyped up thinking I was going to be, you know, leaving the dream doing
[00:08:25] this, uh, Silesia HBO, uh, undercover, right around, recording people in taxi cabs and
[00:08:31] um, they just never, they said, yeah, well, we're going to shoot this show in LA.
[00:08:37] What if we do it in New York here and blah, blah, blah.
[00:08:38] It just didn't happen.
[00:08:39] I was like, fuck that shit.
[00:08:40] So it was the end of my, uh, big television and porn.
[00:08:44] It can still happen, dude.
[00:08:46] Yeah.
[00:08:47] You can still go.
[00:08:48] I have to tell Adam that every day, you know, he's like, I'm 35 years old.
[00:08:51] I, I keep, I keep swinging the bat and my wrists are too weak to even hold it up.
[00:08:58] I keep breaking my, I swing the bat as hard as I can.
[00:09:01] It's a wiffle bulb.
[00:09:02] It leaves a line in the dirt.
[00:09:04] Fuck that.
[00:09:05] I mean, we're living the dream.
[00:09:06] Yeah.
[00:09:07] I don't want to do that shit.
[00:09:08] Yeah.
[00:09:09] So you don't see it.
[00:09:10] You're passing.
[00:09:11] You don't want to be it.
[00:09:12] Yeah.
[00:09:13] Oh, okay.
[00:09:14] I don't even know it's the last big HBO, like, they don't see the document.
[00:09:17] There's a cannibal cop on this set.
[00:09:19] Your dream is a filmmaker is you want to go even bigger thinking I'm ax.
[00:09:24] Yeah.
[00:09:25] Fuck it.
[00:09:26] Yeah.
[00:09:27] That was a 40 X.
[00:09:28] I'm axed.
[00:09:29] Not film.
[00:09:30] Yeah.
[00:09:31] I saw 40.
[00:09:32] I saw that last song movie in 40 acts.
[00:09:33] Would you ever do a like a nature documentary?
[00:09:34] Yeah, that should say.
[00:09:36] Would you ever do like retards narrated by David Attenborough?
[00:09:39] That'd be good.
[00:09:40] I mean, it sounds great.
[00:09:42] That would be cool.
[00:09:43] Let me just get a couple of retards and put them out in the woods and we film them and
[00:09:48] we pretend that's where they live that they're from there.
[00:09:52] Yeah.
[00:09:53] That's what alone almost is right now.
[00:09:56] Is that the name of the movie alone almost?
[00:09:58] It's a Netflix show where they it's like a competition.
[00:10:02] They take them out to Alaska.
[00:10:04] They leave them alone.
[00:10:05] Oh, they take mentally disabled people or just regular people.
[00:10:08] And they have like a they have a walkie talking.
[00:10:11] They're like, I'm done.
[00:10:12] I can't do it anymore.
[00:10:13] The key element in my vision is that they're mentally disabled folks.
[00:10:18] No, so it's like a broad batch of people.
[00:10:21] And you know, sorry, you know, like crypto zoology that shit from the late 1800s, they
[00:10:25] would make up animals.
[00:10:26] Yeah.
[00:10:27] So we do that, but we put big beaver tails and platypus bills on, you know, this mentally
[00:10:33] disabled folks.
[00:10:34] And then we, we, it's sort of like a Victorian style documentary.
[00:10:40] You shoot it real serious.
[00:10:41] About a new species called the, the, the platyphew fellow.
[00:10:45] Yeah, we gotta do it, man.
[00:10:48] We gotta do it.
[00:10:50] I mean, this is like, yeah, sells itself.
[00:10:53] We gotta do it.
[00:10:54] What does it say in the survival here that HBO?
[00:10:56] What was her name again?
[00:10:58] What was your teacher?
[00:10:59] Yeah, Sheila Nevins.
[00:11:00] Lisa Shinchon.
[00:11:01] What's your Sheila Nevins?
[00:11:02] Sheila Nevins.
[00:11:03] But, no, put them on the survival show.
[00:11:05] So the people that you've never heard an idea of that good.
[00:11:07] You fucking bitch.
[00:11:09] If she's listening.
[00:11:10] Yeah, she is.
[00:11:11] She's actually listening.
[00:11:12] No, okay.
[00:11:13] But the takeaway from the show is the people who win are always the most retarded.
[00:11:16] They're like, whoever's the most annoying has the worst social cues is actually what
[00:11:21] you're describing.
[00:11:22] Yeah.
[00:11:23] Is a survival skill in that and being a fat ass.
[00:11:25] Like, yeah, that's what they found.
[00:11:26] Access fat is that you, you get fattish shit before you go on the show.
[00:11:30] They found that out like season one or two is the guy that came the fattest because just,
[00:11:35] because you lose such so much body mass, because you're like trying to forage and then kill
[00:11:38] animals and stuff, you're like, you're allowed like three tools or something like that.
[00:11:43] So then they found out that the hack to win the show is to just come as a massive fat ass.
[00:11:48] Now Mike's saying that it's a fat retard also, I guess.
[00:11:50] Yeah.
[00:11:51] That's the apex for survival.
[00:11:52] Interesting.
[00:11:53] Interesting.
[00:11:54] Well, no comment for me.
[00:11:56] I know I certainly could say something.
[00:11:59] What?
[00:12:00] Instead, I'll take shots at least in Nevins.
[00:12:03] Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:04] Listen, we don't want to make any of these industry names.
[00:12:07] I know.
[00:12:08] I was going to go after Louis Anderson again.
[00:12:10] I know, but he's dead.
[00:12:13] So he can't really do anything for our guys.
[00:12:15] Maybe if he had just been fat and not fat and gay, I think that was...
[00:12:21] How about they, how about they, where they, I show where they put Bruce Vellanche in a,
[00:12:26] he's got to survive a TJ Maxx or something.
[00:12:29] I don't know.
[00:12:30] What's an athema to being Bruce Vellanche?
[00:12:33] What would he hate?
[00:12:36] I think sex with woman.
[00:12:37] I don't know.
[00:12:38] I was thinking something maybe a little bit more...
[00:12:40] Writing monologue jokes for the BET Awards maybe?
[00:12:43] No, he'd probably be good at that.
[00:12:44] I don't know.
[00:12:45] He writes it for like the Oscars.
[00:12:47] Well, he'd probably be good at the BET Awards.
[00:12:49] Yeah.
[00:12:50] I don't know.
[00:12:51] That's his job, right?
[00:12:52] He's like working on a construction site or something.
[00:12:55] I was thinking more of like just something that's, that's the vibes are not kitschy,
[00:13:02] or celebrity oriented, because that's, that's really all he likes.
[00:13:07] Yeah.
[00:13:08] I don't know.
[00:13:10] Like being a fucking, I don't know, being a cab driver.
[00:13:17] Playing ass office job.
[00:13:19] Yeah, working on the
[00:13:31] music.
[00:13:32] Yeah.
[00:13:33] So, Mike, what's your, what's your, as a filmmaker, what's your favorite movie you've
[00:13:35] seen in the last two days?
[00:13:37] Yeah.
[00:13:38] I saw this movie for I guess a Saturday night called Blood Brothers from 1989.
[00:13:45] Sorry, I'm having trouble discerning what the name of the movie is.
[00:13:48] Blood Brothers.
[00:13:49] Oh, Blood Brothers.
[00:13:50] American Ninja III?
[00:13:51] American Ninja III is great.
[00:13:53] No, this is Sean Florida.
[00:13:55] That's the name of the American Ninja III though, is Blood Brothers, right?
[00:13:59] I don't know.
[00:14:00] I'm not sure.
[00:14:01] I've never seen American Ninja III, Blood Brothers.
[00:14:04] I'm pretty sure.
[00:14:05] I think too is like dominant, the domination or something.
[00:14:07] What do you, any other brothers?
[00:14:09] Yeah, it's all takes place in like Florida in the late 80s and it's just like a bunch
[00:14:14] of like kids like doing like massive amounts of like drugs.
[00:14:19] Sorry, it's blood hunt.
[00:14:20] They like do abortions, like stab some to death with like pins.
[00:14:24] It's just like a bunch like gross out gore, abject, like.
[00:14:30] Sorry, I'm thinking of no retreat, no surrender, three.
[00:14:33] Mm hmm.
[00:14:34] Well, then there is the ICP had a side project called the Blood Brothers for a while where
[00:14:39] they were going to wrap in incredibly high pitched voices and they were going to each
[00:14:43] have a farming tool was like the theme is like evil farmers with really high pitched
[00:14:48] voices.
[00:14:49] Were they still in clown makeup or?
[00:14:50] I think they're going to make scarecrows.
[00:14:52] Oh, scarecrows, that is scary.
[00:14:54] Like a high pitched farm like as all three goes.
[00:14:57] Yeah, that's pretty cool.
[00:14:59] Damn, I might have to rewatch no retreat, no surrender, three tonight.
[00:15:04] Wait so this movie is about kids in Florida that are killing people?
[00:15:08] Yeah, sounds like a home video.
[00:15:10] I mean, he just said in the last two days on it.
[00:15:12] They played at the Rock City on our friend Owen Klein did like a Q&A with the director
[00:15:16] who actually went to jail for obscenity in like the 90s.
[00:15:21] What do you have to do to go to jail for obscenity now?
[00:15:24] You say you say Joe Biden is a bad president.
[00:15:31] That'll get you sent straight to the slammer.
[00:15:34] All right, moving on.
[00:15:35] Mike, who's your favorite celebrity you've worked with?
[00:15:41] I mean, I got I've worked with I got a little taste of some or botanist hopper for a moment.
[00:15:50] Oh, really?
[00:15:51] Yeah, you worked with them or you just mad him somewhere.
[00:15:53] I mean, I was working on this documentary that not Chinese in Denver.
[00:15:57] No, it was called Chelsea on the rocks.
[00:16:00] A shot a couple of blocks away from here on different kind of person in a different kind
[00:16:03] of place.
[00:16:04] I mean, celebrity.
[00:16:05] I don't even know, man.
[00:16:06] What was Hopper like who's psycho?
[00:16:08] Yeah, they said when he comes in, you have to like no one's allowed to drink, put everything
[00:16:12] off to the side.
[00:16:13] And if anyone says no one's allowed to drink, this is able for our movie.
[00:16:17] So, you know, get the fucking drinks away from me.
[00:16:20] And they said, whatever you do, do not say the word name Hillary Clinton or if I hear
[00:16:24] Hillary's name, you're going to cut my dick off.
[00:16:27] I mean, actually Grace Jones probably is actually the best.
[00:16:30] Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:31] Hey, where's that Grace Jones, bitch?
[00:16:34] Maybe she's in here right now and I just can't see her.
[00:16:37] Yeah.
[00:16:38] I don't know.
[00:16:39] How's that sound?
[00:16:40] Was Hopper nice, though?
[00:16:41] Is that close?
[00:16:42] Is that close?
[00:16:43] He's kind of like that.
[00:16:44] That's pretty good.
[00:16:45] Very gallant.
[00:16:46] She's black.
[00:16:47] Pop quiz.
[00:16:48] Pop quiz.
[00:16:49] Pop quiz, black lady.
[00:16:50] Pop quiz, black lady.
[00:16:51] I don't know, man.
[00:16:55] I never knew if what's her name, Grace Jones, had a penis or not.
[00:17:00] Was that supposed to be like a left up to the imagination?
[00:17:04] She doesn't, right?
[00:17:05] Not to my knowledge.
[00:17:07] She just looks very androgynous.
[00:17:08] Didn't her and David Bowie date?
[00:17:11] I think.
[00:17:12] It's off longer.
[00:17:13] Yeah.
[00:17:14] They were trying to do a spy versus spy thing.
[00:17:17] Yeah.
[00:17:18] They dressed in the same outfit.
[00:17:20] Yeah.
[00:17:21] One of us is, you know, I'm the white woman and she's very black.
[00:17:27] Together we're freaks.
[00:17:29] We're different kinds of freaks and we, you know, it sort of makes sense.
[00:17:34] Kind of freaks.
[00:17:35] We're trying right now.
[00:17:37] We're trying to get pregnant.
[00:17:39] Hoping for a Dalmatian is what we're doing.
[00:17:42] Well, I guess we really wanted a Dalmatian and neither of us know how you get one.
[00:17:48] And then we recently found out that it's a type of dog.
[00:17:51] Is that right, Mike?
[00:17:52] Is a Dalmatian, a black dog and a white dog fucking?
[00:17:57] As a filmmaker.
[00:17:58] I mean, you know, 101 Dalmatian still has the record for most blackface in any piece
[00:18:03] of art ever.
[00:18:04] No, that's it.
[00:18:05] Yeah.
[00:18:06] Well, they, because they put all 101 dogs in blackface to hide from Corella.
[00:18:11] That's right.
[00:18:12] So there's technically 101 blackface performers in that cartoon.
[00:18:16] Damn.
[00:18:17] They should cancel.
[00:18:19] Yeah, I mean, I guess if you could make a guess, it'll be a logical argument to evolution
[00:18:26] narrowly.
[00:18:27] It's a combination of two.
[00:18:29] I don't fucking have no idea why.
[00:18:31] Dalmatians have spots.
[00:18:33] What?
[00:18:34] So Dalmatians have spots, yes.
[00:18:36] Yeah.
[00:18:37] So black spots and then they're mostly a white coat.
[00:18:39] Yes.
[00:18:40] Yeah.
[00:18:41] Which the spots show up later, which I learned from 101 Dalmatians.
[00:18:45] I used to go to a 101 Dalmatians bar trivia night back in my recently not drinking days.
[00:18:54] Yeah.
[00:18:55] You know, I figured that was a way to keep me sober.
[00:18:57] You could be around a bar like you're a guy going on booze.
[00:18:59] Yeah.
[00:19:00] You know, in a social environment.
[00:19:01] I was just there trying to get pussy.
[00:19:03] You're there trying to get pussy.
[00:19:05] Yeah.
[00:19:06] And I met a lot of good guys that were still alcoholics, but they would bring their young
[00:19:09] daughters to the bar to do a 101.
[00:19:13] 101 Triv met a lot of eight year old girls there.
[00:19:18] And it made me rethink, you know, how I treat women, I guess.
[00:19:22] Yeah.
[00:19:23] Because you can't fuck them, the children.
[00:19:24] You can't fuck them.
[00:19:25] You know, you got all these.
[00:19:27] None of my impressions work on.
[00:19:29] You know, hard it is to make an eight year old laugh.
[00:19:31] They don't know what Dennis Hopper sounds like.
[00:19:33] They're going to be Dennis Hopper.
[00:19:34] Yeah.
[00:19:35] They're like, this guy is weird.
[00:19:36] Yeah.
[00:19:37] I tell you, they love you, Mike.
[00:19:40] You just tell them about, you know, and tell you met Wally and how you weren't allowed
[00:19:44] to drink around them.
[00:19:48] So Mike, you just recently completed a new film last year.
[00:19:55] Correct.
[00:19:56] Yeah.
[00:19:57] Project space 13.
[00:19:58] Yeah.
[00:19:59] Is it going to be screening anytime soon?
[00:20:01] I think we're done with all that, sadly.
[00:20:03] Where can we get it?
[00:20:04] It's on movie right now.
[00:20:06] It's a Blu-ray on vinegar syndrome.
[00:20:08] Yeah.
[00:20:09] I don't know.
[00:20:10] I think someone Amazon and all that.
[00:20:12] Mubi.
[00:20:13] Mubi.
[00:20:14] I want to watch a movie.
[00:20:15] Yeah.
[00:20:16] It's for them.
[00:20:17] Yeah.
[00:20:18] That's how Fubu is Mubi.
[00:20:20] Fubu sounds like it should be for them.
[00:20:22] Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:23] If I told you, I got clothes called Fubu and it stands, it's like a four ass bias.
[00:20:29] It'd be like fur retarda b.
[00:20:32] Oh, I love Fubu and Mubi.
[00:20:36] These are my, well, my name is, my name is Fubu.
[00:20:43] Mom, Fubu pulled my hair.
[00:20:46] I'm sorry, but your son was born a Fubar.
[00:20:49] Did you have to tell?
[00:20:51] How about Harold and Fubar?
[00:20:53] Yeah, that'd be good.
[00:20:54] And it's an Indian guy.
[00:20:55] And then the Mubi dark guy.
[00:20:58] And they want to go to White Castle.
[00:21:00] Yeah.
[00:21:01] Did you have any Fubu?
[00:21:02] I was never brave enough or allowed to actually.
[00:21:07] My parents would, my parents would let me get any Fubu.
[00:21:10] Did you wear people like, who the hell is this guy thinking?
[00:21:12] He has Grace Jones.
[00:21:13] Wait, you seem like you're a former like a South Pole Fubu kind of kid.
[00:21:20] I had a few Fubu pieces.
[00:21:23] Yeah.
[00:21:24] Did you have the jersey with the five?
[00:21:25] I never had a shoe.
[00:21:26] I never, I think I like a pair of shoes that were like Fubu for a second.
[00:21:29] I mean, I never went like head to head.
[00:21:31] I went to like weird baseball jersey, Fubu.
[00:21:34] That was a good look.
[00:21:37] I like Iceberg the most.
[00:21:39] Iceberg was tight.
[00:21:41] I don't even know what Iceberg is.
[00:21:43] It was a brand.
[00:21:44] You can get it like marshals.
[00:21:46] What is it like?
[00:21:47] It's like Italian.
[00:21:48] You see a lot like, like we can guys in 90s with like Tweety Bird or something or like
[00:21:52] Snoopy like, or like a leather jacket with like a pink yarn for that.
[00:21:57] Yeah.
[00:21:58] Maybe.
[00:21:59] Yeah.
[00:22:00] But it was like the.
[00:22:01] 23 years old high end Italian like Looney Tunes style.
[00:22:04] Thugged out.
[00:22:05] That's weird to imagine Italian Looney Tunes stuff.
[00:22:08] Yeah.
[00:22:09] Yeah.
[00:22:10] No, and that's like, um, he's trying to kill the road.
[00:22:12] They're on.
[00:22:13] He wants to kill him by the guy.
[00:22:15] And I guess that's Warner Brothers.
[00:22:17] That's not, you know, is Warner Brothers Looney Tunes?
[00:22:19] Which one is it's the yeah, WP.
[00:22:21] Yes.
[00:22:22] It's Roadrunner part of truth be told.
[00:22:26] I kind of only know it from Six Flags.
[00:22:27] I know.
[00:22:28] Yeah.
[00:22:29] For some reason has.
[00:22:32] It isn't that Looney Tunes endorsement.
[00:22:33] Yeah.
[00:22:34] I think Six Flags has the rights of the Warner Brothers.
[00:22:36] I guess now it's all SpongeBob is what you see.
[00:22:38] Like that's the big thugged out cartoon.
[00:22:41] Yeah.
[00:22:42] Like all day, every day people in one.
[00:22:44] Yeah.
[00:22:45] Yeah.
[00:22:46] Black people really do be loving Spongebob Square.
[00:22:48] Yeah.
[00:22:49] They like children's stuff for whatever reason.
[00:22:50] I don't understand.
[00:22:51] They like D. Dragon Ball Z in Spongebob.
[00:22:53] Yeah.
[00:22:54] Those are the two things.
[00:22:55] I was walking over here.
[00:22:57] I passed like six dudes wearing the machine gun Kelly Pearl
[00:23:01] necklace.
[00:23:02] I'm going to be a wicker that's in the Kyue.
[00:23:04] Yeah.
[00:23:05] It's just have Kyue.
[00:23:06] I was just being a Bob the Builder.
[00:23:07] Yeah.
[00:23:08] He's got a gun.
[00:23:09] Yeah.
[00:23:10] But it would be blues clues.
[00:23:13] What was the blurs?
[00:23:15] What was the book with the at the worm that drove the car
[00:23:19] that's in Apple?
[00:23:20] Richard Scary.
[00:23:21] I think.
[00:23:22] Yeah.
[00:23:23] What was the name of the what was it called?
[00:23:25] I'm not the guy that it was like Richard Scary something.
[00:23:28] The very hungry caterpillar or something.
[00:23:30] Was that?
[00:23:31] No, no, no, that was something different.
[00:23:33] It was Richard Scary's like world or something.
[00:23:35] Yeah.
[00:23:36] I didn't even fuck with that guy.
[00:23:37] I don't know.
[00:23:38] But I'm going to be in.
[00:23:39] Y'all made a Richard Scary.
[00:23:40] Yeah, but I'm going to have that.
[00:23:41] But like the gun.
[00:23:42] The gun.
[00:23:43] I'm going to find new baby shit to suck out via airbrush.
[00:23:50] What?
[00:23:51] Small airbrush.
[00:23:52] What is that the wire like young wiggers wearing pearl necklaces
[00:23:56] now that they like clearly like stole from their grandmothers?
[00:24:00] Yeah, I know.
[00:24:01] I feel like I've been singing for like the last year.
[00:24:02] But in the last two days I've seen it like 50 times.
[00:24:05] It was machine gun Kelly started that look.
[00:24:09] Yeah, I think it's just a way to signify that you're not like a.
[00:24:12] You got a little feminine quality a little.
[00:24:14] Yeah.
[00:24:14] Yeah, I'm a fucking gay.
[00:24:18] Dude, I like pussy, but I'm also fucking gay, dude.
[00:24:21] I wear.
[00:24:22] I wear pearl necklaces.
[00:24:23] Yeah, like an evolution of the Pukashell necklace kind of.
[00:24:26] I think the same person that would have worn that.
[00:24:28] Yeah.
[00:24:28] Now, well, I'll start out.
[00:24:30] Yeah, that was another thing my mom didn't let me buy.
[00:24:33] She was like, why do you want this?
[00:24:35] A Pukashell necklace.
[00:24:36] Yeah, I thought it was cool.
[00:24:38] That's why I was allowed to have it.
[00:24:40] In middle school, kids used to get their neck stripped up.
[00:24:44] Should I get shell braids?
[00:24:46] That'd be sick, dude.
[00:24:46] But you got to go in vacation to Jamaica and get your groove back.
[00:24:50] My groove's not gone.
[00:24:52] I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:24:53] No, you got to go there meet a young man.
[00:24:56] I've got groove for days.
[00:24:58] No, but you're like, OK, first of all, you have no time, right?
[00:25:03] You don't have enough hours of the day.
[00:25:05] There's no time because I'm always keeping time.
[00:25:06] Because you're always keeping time because I'm always on groove.
[00:25:09] Right.
[00:25:09] You're like a stressed out in the pocket 24-7.
[00:25:14] Don't worry about me and groove.
[00:25:15] You're a stressed out New Yorker, right?
[00:25:17] You need to take a trip to New York or to Jamaica.
[00:25:19] You don't have enough hours in the day.
[00:25:22] I'm in the pocket.
[00:25:24] I'm not stressed out.
[00:25:26] I'm keeping time.
[00:25:27] You need to meet a Tae Diggs-type islander.
[00:25:30] Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
[00:25:32] Get your back blown out.
[00:25:33] Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
[00:25:34] I'm going.
[00:25:35] I'm going.
[00:25:36] I'm going.
[00:25:37] I'm like a metronome.
[00:25:37] I know where you're saying.
[00:25:39] Take talk.
[00:25:40] I'm just saying you get shell braids when you get your back blown out.
[00:25:43] What were we talking?
[00:25:44] In Jamaica.
[00:25:45] I forgot.
[00:25:45] Children's movies.
[00:25:48] That seems to be the theme kind of materializing on the Adam
[00:25:51] Friedland show.
[00:25:52] So my dear longtime producer for the fine director
[00:25:55] Abel Ferraro.
[00:25:56] This is a real quick thing, Plug 2.
[00:25:58] I will be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
[00:26:03] From September 2nd to the 4th.
[00:26:07] Those tickets are on sale now.
[00:26:09] That is coming.
[00:26:10] That's next weekend.
[00:26:12] So not this weekend, but next weekend.
[00:26:14] September 2nd through the 4th.
[00:26:15] We've still got tickets left.
[00:26:17] I thought I was pushing those more.
[00:26:19] And thanks to everyone who came out in Irvine.
[00:26:21] I had the flu the whole week.
[00:26:22] I don't even know what it was, but some kind of throat
[00:26:25] infection.
[00:26:26] I don't remember any of it.
[00:26:27] It was all a haze, but everyone was very sweet.
[00:26:30] I heard it was great.
[00:26:31] Everybody was a real sweetheart.
[00:26:32] That's probably the nicest town I've been to so far.
[00:26:36] But yeah, please, Philadelphia come out.
[00:26:38] I know you people are mean, but we'll have a good time.
[00:26:41] Yeah, they'll be like, I thought you were a fact,
[00:26:43] but you're actually kind of funny.
[00:26:45] Dude, helium's always been my favorite club.
[00:26:48] That's what they say.
[00:26:49] Yeah.
[00:26:51] A lot of people say that's one of the best ones.
[00:26:53] Like 10 years ago, when I go through there and I feature,
[00:26:55] like the shows, it was always such a weird vibe
[00:26:58] because you could be crushing.
[00:26:59] And then there'd be somebody that would yell out to be angry.
[00:27:02] You got in trouble for your Second Amendment joke, right?
[00:27:06] I don't know if it was bad.
[00:27:07] Something about the Constitution.
[00:27:08] Oh, it was the Constitution?
[00:27:09] Yeah.
[00:27:10] Yeah, I always wanted to go there.
[00:27:11] You see W Arena.
[00:27:13] That was pretty Trump days.
[00:27:14] Where is that?
[00:27:15] That was like the Philadelphia.
[00:27:16] That was like where ECW started.
[00:27:18] It's like the greatest fan base ever for a.
[00:27:21] That was just a more extreme WWE, right?
[00:27:24] Yeah, but you're sort of the Rick and Morty of wrestling.
[00:27:26] Yeah.
[00:27:27] And where fans bring in like weapons to shows and stuff.
[00:27:30] Thinking it's real.
[00:27:31] Yeah.
[00:27:33] I don't know yet.
[00:27:34] What kind of weapons?
[00:27:34] Like a bat with nails in it?
[00:27:37] Stuff like that.
[00:27:38] I went to one show and they had a person actually
[00:27:40] brought a handicap parking sign.
[00:27:42] And they glued nails to the outline of the handicap.
[00:27:46] That's it.
[00:27:47] And there was like a child with a monkey wrench.
[00:27:51] Yeah.
[00:27:51] Like mashing to that, like, caught my life in a piece of the song.
[00:27:55] That's a great song.
[00:27:56] And then, and yeah, it was just fans bring weapons night.
[00:27:59] It was like pretty sick.
[00:28:02] And so I have like a really high opinion of fans.
[00:28:04] Fans bring weapons night.
[00:28:06] That's a good name.
[00:28:08] Yeah, they got to bring it back.
[00:28:09] And they should not just bring it back to the show.
[00:28:12] They should do bring your weapons to work day.
[00:28:14] And all the women in the office with big tits
[00:28:17] got to flop them babies out.
[00:28:19] The entire work day.
[00:28:19] Yeah.
[00:28:21] Yeah.
[00:28:22] And I pitched that.
[00:28:23] And then that's why I'm not allowed to tempt anyone.
[00:28:26] That's why we had a certain stance.
[00:28:28] I was like, how long have you been?
[00:28:29] I was like, y'all, why don't we do bring your weapons
[00:28:31] to work day?
[00:28:32] And the women with big tits, they got to put them on display.
[00:28:36] And they're like, we get it, sir.
[00:28:37] But it's not.
[00:28:38] Yeah, we're not allowed to do that in a professional environment.
[00:28:41] And we see that you've installed your own PA system
[00:28:43] throughout the entire office that we didn't have before.
[00:28:47] I came in on the weekend because I
[00:28:49] wanted to democratize this place.
[00:28:51] I had to wire this shit up.
[00:28:53] I want to make sure everyone hears my idea
[00:28:55] for bring your weapons to work day.
[00:28:56] Y'all, the bosses are saying no, but what do we think?
[00:29:02] Yeah, anyway.
[00:29:03] You're like a dirty bomb.
[00:29:04] Yeah.
[00:29:04] They think we're fucking slaves.
[00:29:06] You hear that big-titted women?
[00:29:09] They think you're a slave that can't let your fucking weapons out.
[00:29:12] We know why you're here.
[00:29:16] So Mike, what are some of your favorite movies?
[00:29:20] It's an interview show.
[00:29:25] Yeah.
[00:29:26] What's your number one favorite movie show?
[00:29:27] I'm trying to show Adam how to be an interviewer,
[00:29:31] because he's got to learn how to be an interviewer.
[00:29:33] Yeah.
[00:29:33] Nick's trying to teach me how to talk to people,
[00:29:36] because Nick's really good at it.
[00:29:37] Ever go fishing with your grandpa?
[00:29:39] I did.
[00:29:40] Yeah, it was great.
[00:29:40] I love it.
[00:29:41] Yeah.
[00:29:41] Is he dead or alive?
[00:29:42] He's dead, yeah.
[00:29:43] Did you, so this must have been a long time ago.
[00:29:45] Yeah, yeah.
[00:29:46] What year would you place it at?
[00:29:48] This is late 80s, early 90s.
[00:29:52] OK, it's a lake in Wisconsin.
[00:29:54] Lake in Wisconsin.
[00:29:55] It was nice.
[00:29:56] Is it naturally stocked there where they put fish in there?
[00:29:58] I think it was natural.
[00:29:59] I don't know what they're doing over there.
[00:30:01] It was like northern Wisconsin.
[00:30:02] So this is early morning, you and your grandpa.
[00:30:05] Yeah.
[00:30:05] What kind of relationship did you have with him prior to this?
[00:30:09] He's kind of like a close distant.
[00:30:12] Like a nice, he's like alpha kind of the family.
[00:30:15] Like, you know, you were a little uptown.
[00:30:16] Would you say you were afraid of him?
[00:30:17] Or did you feel like you could relate to that?
[00:30:20] Or you couldn't relate to it, but there was like,
[00:30:23] because he was your grandpa, you didn't feel intimidated by it.
[00:30:27] Yeah, that sounds good.
[00:30:28] Something like that.
[00:30:29] OK.
[00:30:30] You know.
[00:30:31] Yeah, I looked up to him.
[00:30:32] So was there like, I mean, and I wouldn't say
[00:30:34] sexual tension, but perhaps the precursor to that, or something.
[00:30:41] You know, as a young eight-year-old boy, you're with this very strong,
[00:30:46] you know, you'd say attractive alpha male.
[00:30:48] And he's taking you fishing.
[00:30:50] And you're thinking, you know what?
[00:30:53] I mean, you don't know how to fish.
[00:30:54] You're new to fishing.
[00:30:56] Does it feel like a rite of passage to you?
[00:30:58] Are you intimidated by this at all?
[00:31:00] I would definitely say there was nothing sexual.
[00:31:03] No chemistry.
[00:31:05] No work of mine.
[00:31:06] No early life altering experiences from this.
[00:31:11] It's just a nice normal wholesome.
[00:31:13] That sounds like a sort of family values type of good.
[00:31:16] Like a Midwestern sort of way.
[00:31:18] Yeah.
[00:31:19] So Midwestern wholesome.
[00:31:21] For the listeners at home, deep, deep sexual undertones.
[00:31:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:31:24] Very repressed.
[00:31:25] Mike sounds like a Cali kind of guy,
[00:31:27] but he's actually from the Midwest.
[00:31:30] In case the listeners wanted to kind of just place
[00:31:33] our guests origins.
[00:31:35] So we're just running through the day then.
[00:31:37] It's you and your grandpa.
[00:31:38] Did you spend the night beforehand?
[00:31:40] He picks you up.
[00:31:41] How far away did he live from you?
[00:31:43] No, this would be like we go in the summer
[00:31:45] to like, they had like a house.
[00:31:46] A lake house?
[00:31:47] Yeah, you know, there was like a.
[00:31:50] Were there a lot of bugs?
[00:31:52] Yeah, I don't know.
[00:31:53] Do you remember how the house smelled?
[00:31:55] Shut up.
[00:31:56] What is this, Bruce?
[00:31:57] Oh.
[00:31:59] No thing.
[00:32:00] I can't believe I saw.
[00:32:03] Mike, have you ever read Bruce?
[00:32:05] Adam's a huge person.
[00:32:07] I've never.
[00:32:07] I just know about it from the sopranos when he says
[00:32:09] that sounds gay.
[00:32:10] You know, I dipped a toe in some when I was younger.
[00:32:14] But yeah, I don't fucking know, man.
[00:32:18] The impact this fishing trip, this very sort of sexual
[00:32:23] on your work.
[00:32:24] Yeah.
[00:32:25] On your work now.
[00:32:26] Would you consider?
[00:32:26] OK, I guess.
[00:32:27] Yeah, I mean, that's like the whole David Lynch thing,
[00:32:29] is it's like, you know, his whole philosophy,
[00:32:31] you know, because that whole book,
[00:32:32] like catching the fish or some shit where it's like.
[00:32:35] I don't know.
[00:32:36] I don't know.
[00:32:37] We don't know about that.
[00:32:37] I guess that's my whole life reading, Bruce.
[00:32:39] It's like some way to try and lure you
[00:32:42] into transcendental meditation.
[00:32:43] But yes, it's somewhat called metaphor of like fishing.
[00:32:45] You know, it's his.
[00:32:47] That's what Bruce is.
[00:32:48] I read Richard Scary.
[00:32:51] Would you say there is any kind of through line
[00:32:53] with your work that could be related to something
[00:32:58] sexual or some sort of sexual aberration that may have happened?
[00:33:07] No, that's not really my saying.
[00:33:09] But it's not a hoist.
[00:33:10] Mine's not a horny director.
[00:33:12] He's not a lascivious.
[00:33:13] He's not Jewish.
[00:33:14] No, I don't mean horny.
[00:33:16] There doesn't need to be like a one.
[00:33:17] I know you mean.
[00:33:18] I know you mean.
[00:33:19] Yeah, this would be like for the therapist.
[00:33:20] I don't know.
[00:33:21] I haven't overly thought about this.
[00:33:22] Maybe sexual is the wrong word.
[00:33:24] Let's call it traumatic, but traumatic in like a Freudian sense.
[00:33:28] I mean, it's not necessarily like that.
[00:33:30] I mean, I haven't had that much traumatic stuff.
[00:33:32] So I think making these things is
[00:33:34] forcing an act of trauma.
[00:33:36] Yeah, yeah.
[00:33:37] Everything is trauma.
[00:33:38] There's a very, very, like almost everything
[00:33:40] is trauma in early childhood.
[00:33:42] But making a movie is an act of trauma.
[00:33:44] Doing this right now is an act of trauma.
[00:33:46] Oh, this is trauma.
[00:33:47] It's like says people that like when you don't have enough trauma,
[00:33:49] you have to create it for yourself.
[00:33:52] So I don't think there is some like deep rooted, horrible thing
[00:33:55] that is.
[00:33:55] Yeah.
[00:33:56] It makes me.
[00:33:56] Let's drop it.
[00:33:57] Let's drop the fishing trip.
[00:33:59] Have you ever visit your elementary school after hours,
[00:34:03] like after dark for anything, like maybe like a parent teacher
[00:34:07] conference or a PTA meeting or any reason.
[00:34:09] Oh, I know what you're talking about.
[00:34:10] Well, you had to be at the school after the sun went down
[00:34:13] and you saw the building after the sun.
[00:34:15] Or like a play or like up to the school play.
[00:34:17] Some kind of function where you needed to be not middle or high
[00:34:20] school, but your elementary school in particular after dark.
[00:34:24] Honestly, I don't think so.
[00:34:25] I mean, I would get the fuck out of there.
[00:34:27] Immediately I'm not wasn't really racing.
[00:34:29] Have you ever had any any dreams of your elementary school
[00:34:32] where the layout is different and it's unsettling?
[00:34:36] I can't.
[00:34:36] I don't know.
[00:34:37] Have you ever run through the halls of your high school?
[00:34:40] Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs?
[00:34:44] No.
[00:34:45] Maybe there.
[00:34:47] Have you?
[00:34:48] No, it's from the song.
[00:34:49] Have you ever been at Rory Rogers, the fast food restaurant?
[00:34:53] I don't think so.
[00:34:54] I don't think we had it in Chicago.
[00:34:56] There's not one here.
[00:34:56] Where is that?
[00:34:58] There used to be all up and down the East Coast.
[00:35:01] There still are on the Jersey.
[00:35:02] Jersey term?
[00:35:02] Yeah, 95.
[00:35:03] So I was a couple of row Rogers.
[00:35:05] The probably the best French fries of any.
[00:35:08] Well, I don't want to blow up the spot,
[00:35:09] but Stephen and I have been going to this new Taco Bell
[00:35:12] on 3rd Avenue.
[00:35:14] It's good.
[00:35:14] It's like the sixth one.
[00:35:15] It hits like very.
[00:35:16] Is it a cantina?
[00:35:18] It's not a cantina.
[00:35:19] So you don't have that aspect of people
[00:35:21] getting drunk.
[00:35:22] It's just very clean.
[00:35:23] Yeah.
[00:35:24] Nice.
[00:35:25] High quality.
[00:35:26] I like the concept of the Taco Bell cantina,
[00:35:29] a more adult version.
[00:35:31] Because I'm like, it kind of scares me off Taco Bell.
[00:35:33] Typically, it feels like it's too baby.
[00:35:35] See, the only place I know the word cantina from is Star Wars.
[00:35:39] So when I heard that, I thought it
[00:35:42] was going to be more of like a job as palace sort of.
[00:35:44] Yeah.
[00:35:44] I thought there would be an elephant guy playing some people.
[00:35:48] I thought there would be a little Jewish monkey
[00:35:49] laughing at everybody.
[00:35:51] You thought Han shoe shot first.
[00:35:55] You know about that, Nick?
[00:35:56] I'm sure Mike knows about it.
[00:35:58] Mike, you know about it.
[00:35:58] You don't like Star Wars?
[00:36:00] I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:36:02] Do they?
[00:36:02] Why do you watch Star Wars in film school?
[00:36:06] No.
[00:36:06] Oh, damn.
[00:36:08] Yeah.
[00:36:08] Why don't they teach you good movies like Star Wars?
[00:36:13] Yeah, I don't know.
[00:36:15] You got any upcoming dates you want to plug?
[00:36:17] Yeah.
[00:36:17] Are you doing stand up anytime?
[00:36:20] No, I'm just I'm not really doing jacket.
[00:36:22] I'm not doing shit right now.
[00:36:23] Do you have any way projects you're working on?
[00:36:24] I'm trying to write do some writing right now.
[00:36:26] Gotcha.
[00:36:26] And you should honestly ask the next story about going fishing
[00:36:31] with your grandpa is really mind-blowing.
[00:36:33] I would do something with that.
[00:36:36] Yeah, this could be something.
[00:36:37] I do want to go ice fishing, actually.
[00:36:39] I've been having like a hit the grandpa.
[00:36:43] Well, I can't do that.
[00:36:44] Well, that's why it's through your work.
[00:36:46] You could write, that's you, your grandpa.
[00:36:49] You're dropped into Alaska.
[00:36:51] It's the show alone.
[00:36:52] But it's you and your grandpa.
[00:36:54] This time, he's mentally disabled.
[00:36:56] And you're morbidly obese.
[00:36:58] And together, you find love, perhaps, or something,
[00:37:01] you know, obviously not so explicit.
[00:37:04] But we just get two hours of sexual tension
[00:37:06] between you and your grandpa in Alaska.
[00:37:10] Fuck it, man.
[00:37:11] Yeah.
[00:37:11] Hell yeah.
[00:37:12] Ice fishing sounds good.
[00:37:14] And it's called the Santa Claus IV.
[00:37:18] There's a lot of cause for ice fishing
[00:37:21] with my grandfather in a gay way.
[00:37:24] Mike, is there any questions you would like to be asked?
[00:37:29] No.
[00:37:30] No, OK.
[00:37:31] Well, Mike, you were telling me before the show started
[00:37:34] that you've been following up on the life of Andy Day.
[00:37:37] Yeah.
[00:37:38] He's like one of the, I really.
[00:37:40] He's a fascination of yours.
[00:37:42] He's a national treasure, man.
[00:37:43] He's one of these like last guys that didn't get the memo
[00:37:45] about anything, just doing what he wants.
[00:37:49] And yeah, I've just been over early COVID.
[00:37:51] I started watching all these live streams
[00:37:54] and just sort of following all these sort of degenerate nut
[00:37:56] jobs who go around causing trouble.
[00:37:58] And then I was shocked, and Andy Dick had some relapse.
[00:38:02] And he's now just like for the last four months or something,
[00:38:05] just riding around in RVs, groping everyone, getting fucked up.
[00:38:08] I would say we should hand out GoPros to every bum in America.
[00:38:13] And then there's a cable, on every cable package in America,
[00:38:16] there's something called the homeless channel.
[00:38:18] Yeah, it's a live stream.
[00:38:19] Well, it's not a live stream, but you figure out
[00:38:22] 24 hours of programming where you use the GoPro footage,
[00:38:26] and then you give it to an editor that
[00:38:27] has to figure out a different kind of show
[00:38:29] for each homeless person.
[00:38:31] One of them has SVU.
[00:38:33] Right.
[00:38:34] Right.
[00:38:35] So I'm going to take them off fucking.
[00:38:37] And then somehow make it look like he saw something.
[00:38:40] You take one schizophrenic sentence they have,
[00:38:43] and then that is a jumping off point,
[00:38:45] then pick another show.
[00:38:47] And she wrote a murder.
[00:38:48] I'll write you a murder right now.
[00:38:50] And then we have murder.
[00:38:50] She wrote.
[00:38:51] That'd be good.
[00:38:52] That'd be good.
[00:38:53] And it's all on the homeless channel.
[00:38:56] Yeah, you could have a homeless guy that thinks he's
[00:38:57] Anderson Cooper.
[00:38:58] Yeah.
[00:38:59] Yeah.
[00:39:00] 360.
[00:39:01] I need 360 for the bus.
[00:39:04] And then all I need to start around my all I'm asking for is 360.
[00:39:08] And then we at the Anderson Cooper.
[00:39:10] I'm here with EG and Carol.
[00:39:13] So you're going to let that man fuck you,
[00:39:16] but I can't fuck you.
[00:39:18] Walk, because I'm outside.
[00:39:19] That's that.
[00:39:22] And you get in exchange for getting some beer,
[00:39:24] getting some methadone or whatever,
[00:39:26] then you have thousands of these channels
[00:39:28] you can flip back and forth from it.
[00:39:30] And it's like you're getting unlimited content.
[00:39:32] And most people, you know, you always
[00:39:34] see it in fashion too that there are skits of pharynx
[00:39:37] have the most vanguard, you know, taste of everything.
[00:39:40] You know, that's one of those dressing in ways
[00:39:43] that a normal person wouldn't come up with,
[00:39:44] come with jokes that, yeah, that also would be great.
[00:39:47] It'd be nonstop entertainment, I think.
[00:39:49] It's a fantastic idea.
[00:39:51] Do skits of pharynx dress cool?
[00:39:53] I'm trying to think.
[00:39:53] Yeah, basically Balenciaga just riffs off
[00:39:56] how skits of pharynx dress.
[00:39:57] I'm trying to think of skits of pharynx.
[00:39:59] There was a weird turn like four years ago
[00:40:01] where young women started dressing like crack addicts.
[00:40:04] Dara leaked.
[00:40:05] It was very, though it was very informative.
[00:40:07] Yeah.
[00:40:08] Where where?
[00:40:08] Why not?
[00:40:09] It was like the like the fuzzy pull over, zipper pull over,
[00:40:13] in the big rebox.
[00:40:14] And then the straight jeans.
[00:40:16] That's just like crack addict.
[00:40:18] Crack addict?
[00:40:19] Dusters.
[00:40:21] They love oversized coats.
[00:40:23] Yeah, layers, like you wear like in the winter,
[00:40:25] in the summertime when you're in a winter coat, you know.
[00:40:27] That's an idea that a normal, that a socialized person
[00:40:31] wouldn't think of doing except are like, you know,
[00:40:34] in the wintertime wearing shorts.
[00:40:35] Are there really any like skits of phrenic,
[00:40:38] like popular artists now, like there used to be?
[00:40:40] Like I feel like there was a period
[00:40:42] where you could really be a fucking freak
[00:40:44] and be making stuff.
[00:40:45] And that doesn't really exist anymore.
[00:40:48] I can't think of one.
[00:40:49] I don't think they're popular artists anymore.
[00:40:52] I think that's like the, I think Banksy is probably
[00:40:56] the most famous artist in the world.
[00:40:58] Demi Lovato is as close as you get to like a skits of phrenic.
[00:41:01] Oh, can she changes her gender constantly?
[00:41:04] Well, she's got a lot of problems.
[00:41:05] Yeah.
[00:41:05] I don't think that's probably the only one
[00:41:07] that's like borders on.
[00:41:08] She's normally a real like girl.
[00:41:10] I mean, I'm breathing these spears, I guess,
[00:41:13] is publicly very crazy, but she's not an active artist.
[00:41:18] Yeah.
[00:41:18] At this point.
[00:41:19] Cher is pretty good.
[00:41:21] Cher, but is she crazy?
[00:41:23] I don't know.
[00:41:23] I think she's just old.
[00:41:25] She's just an old bitch.
[00:41:27] Bitch, you crazy.
[00:41:29] Michael, you a Cher fan?
[00:41:32] I don't really have a strong stance.
[00:41:34] I'm not anti-share.
[00:41:36] I'm not listening to this.
[00:41:36] Do you think Sonny Bono was murdered?
[00:41:40] I do not think.
[00:41:41] I mean, he could have been.
[00:41:43] I'm open-minded.
[00:41:44] Do you think Joan Rivers was murdered?
[00:41:45] No, I think she was just old.
[00:41:47] I think she suffered from the same problem, too.
[00:41:48] Do people think she was murdered?
[00:41:50] Well, she said stuff about the Obamas that were like,
[00:41:52] she's calling Obama gay president.
[00:41:54] It would be funny if Obama gave Joan Rivers.
[00:41:57] He's like, we got to do something.
[00:41:59] I don't mind.
[00:42:00] I don't mind all these fucking other people online.
[00:42:02] Joan Rivers.
[00:42:04] She's too mean.
[00:42:05] It's easy to kill her.
[00:42:06] She had a nice life feeling.
[00:42:07] 97 years old.
[00:42:09] Post her down and flight her stairs.
[00:42:11] How'd she die?
[00:42:12] She died in her house.
[00:42:13] I think during surgery.
[00:42:14] I think it was like a plastic tree.
[00:42:15] She just called Michelle Obama.
[00:42:16] Oh, it sounds like a murder.
[00:42:18] Said she was a dude.
[00:42:19] She said stuff about Obama.
[00:42:20] All this stuff was going on.
[00:42:21] And then this very edgy comedian,
[00:42:24] next thing you know, they're going for routine surgery.
[00:42:27] Don't come back.
[00:42:28] Interesting.
[00:42:29] Interesting.
[00:42:29] Wow, so she's on the kill list.
[00:42:31] What would you say about Obama if you were going into surgery?
[00:42:35] To give the kill order to Joan Rivers?
[00:42:37] No, I mean, if you were going into surgery and you wanted to,
[00:42:42] are you an Obama fan?
[00:42:44] Or?
[00:42:47] Yeah, I mean, the times I think I liked it at the beginning.
[00:42:50] I'm not listening.
[00:42:52] You like when he was putting Shyrak on the map?
[00:42:56] Yeah.
[00:42:56] Do you think they should change the name of Shyrak
[00:42:58] now that the Iraq war is over?
[00:43:00] Yeah, it's inappropriate.
[00:43:01] Shywon, perhaps.
[00:43:02] Shywon.
[00:43:03] Shy Crane.
[00:43:04] Shy Crane doesn't really have the right ring to it.
[00:43:06] Yeah.
[00:43:08] Shy Crane is not bad, though.
[00:43:10] Shy Crane is not bad, but I feel like Shywon is better.
[00:43:14] Shywon.
[00:43:15] We're way better than that.
[00:43:16] Gets ahead of the game.
[00:43:17] Because that's the next war.
[00:43:18] It's ahead of the game.
[00:43:19] That's the next war.
[00:43:20] No one gives a fuck about Ukraine anymore.
[00:43:23] It's also there's a bunch of white people in Ukraine.
[00:43:27] So you know that the people who came up with Shyrak
[00:43:30] would probably not appreciate it.
[00:43:32] Yeah, yeah, that's true.
[00:43:33] How about Shafferka?
[00:43:37] I said Shyrak.
[00:43:38] Why don't they call this place fucking Shaffer?
[00:43:41] I have her Shycongo.
[00:43:43] Shycongo?
[00:43:45] Wow, that's going hard.
[00:43:48] Shycongo.
[00:43:52] That's pretty hard.
[00:43:54] Damn.
[00:43:55] Who came up with that chief keef?
[00:43:57] Yeah, I think it was around that.
[00:43:58] Now, you're a Chicago native, huh?
[00:44:00] Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:01] The pizza, big fan or no?
[00:44:04] That's great, man.
[00:44:05] Yeah.
[00:44:06] What's the best one?
[00:44:07] You're being the old pizza oven, brick pizza oven,
[00:44:11] and grower pizza oven salmon.
[00:44:14] I may be forgetting that a pizza oven grill, pizza grill oven,
[00:44:18] something like that.
[00:44:19] I don't know.
[00:44:20] It's a place Microscene made me go.
[00:44:22] And they had big, one of those sandwiches
[00:44:26] where they just bake a pizza into itself.
[00:44:28] Yeah.
[00:44:29] Yeah.
[00:44:30] So it's one of the few things you can't get here that's hot shit.
[00:44:34] I fuck with it.
[00:44:34] And I can still only get it when I go home.
[00:44:37] So.
[00:44:39] Chicago pizza.
[00:44:40] Yeah.
[00:44:40] What's your favorite pizza place in Chicago?
[00:44:43] There was some place called like Giardano's or Eduardo's.
[00:44:47] I don't know.
[00:44:48] I don't know.
[00:44:48] Was your grandfather like a Chicago guy?
[00:44:53] Yeah.
[00:44:54] I mean, Midwest, yeah.
[00:44:56] OK, but not like.
[00:44:56] You lived in Chicago, though, for most of my life.
[00:44:59] Oh, OK.
[00:44:59] Did he ever take you around town?
[00:45:03] Not really.
[00:45:04] And he drove like a like a Donald Duck car, basically,
[00:45:06] like a big like a wuga.
[00:45:08] And he'd pull up.
[00:45:10] And they'd like to get pussy off that.
[00:45:12] And like an alligator suit.
[00:45:13] Yeah.
[00:45:14] Did he have a big watch on a chain?
[00:45:18] I don't think so.
[00:45:19] Was he kind of like maybe like the outline of his dick
[00:45:21] and his pants?
[00:45:22] Did he wear like a new Jack swing kind of suit?
[00:45:27] Yeah, no, I think this is all not.
[00:45:28] Oh, we're thinking of someone else.
[00:45:30] Disgriping with someone else.
[00:45:31] Yeah.
[00:45:32] He was mixed race or?
[00:45:35] No, he's a little bit like a what?
[00:45:39] Oh, OK.
[00:45:43] Yeah, that's all very inaccurate.
[00:45:45] Not a.
[00:45:46] No, that's not fair.
[00:45:47] Not what the scene was like.
[00:45:52] No, but your grandfather was Chicago native Michael Mann.
[00:45:57] It was not.
[00:45:58] It was not.
[00:45:59] Have you ever seen a man as a shot?
[00:46:00] Michael Mann, perhaps out and about in Hollywood.
[00:46:05] Not never seen the guy.
[00:46:08] Well, I guess the thief was Chicago.
[00:46:10] Yeah, no, he's a shot.
[00:46:11] But they kept going to LA to do the thieves.
[00:46:14] And then they went back to Chicago.
[00:46:17] Yeah.
[00:46:18] He kind of bailed on your city.
[00:46:20] He got really into Miami in LA.
[00:46:23] I mean, he's such a freak.
[00:46:25] Yeah.
[00:46:25] I love that interview for Black Hat
[00:46:26] when it came out where he was like,
[00:46:29] he's like before writing this movie,
[00:46:30] I had to learn what electricity was and like try
[00:46:33] to figure out how to build a computer.
[00:46:36] Was that before you didn't?
[00:46:38] No, before Black Hat.
[00:46:39] Oh, Black Hat.
[00:46:40] And I was like, I love that movie.
[00:46:41] It's such a fucking out there, dude.
[00:46:44] You had to learn about electricity.
[00:46:46] I always thought it would be great if they did a sequel
[00:46:48] to that movie called Child Pornography Hat.
[00:46:53] And it's about the best guy downloads his child pornometer.
[00:47:00] And then he gets recruited by the FBI to do hacking.
[00:47:05] And then he has to explain to them,
[00:47:07] I don't know, I just love the child pornography.
[00:47:09] I'm just good at child pornography.
[00:47:10] I don't actually know.
[00:47:11] And then because of how the court system works,
[00:47:14] they've already let him out of jail.
[00:47:16] Right.
[00:47:16] They've given him the past.
[00:47:17] Because of double jeopardy.
[00:47:18] They can't send him back to jail.
[00:47:20] So then he sort of found a loophole where he's allowed
[00:47:23] to look at as much child pornography as he wants.
[00:47:26] And he's got a login at the FBI's website.
[00:47:29] So he has access to all of it, this treasure truck.
[00:47:32] And it's sort of like a wolf of Wall Street,
[00:47:34] like, you know, rise and fall fever dream of this guy,
[00:47:37] masturbate 24 hours a day.
[00:47:40] To just terabytes and terabytes of FBI produced
[00:47:44] and donned child pornography.
[00:47:46] He's not helping them catch anyone.
[00:47:49] And he beats off so much.
[00:47:50] He just has the best computer.
[00:47:52] He gets a sore on his dick that becomes infected
[00:47:54] and he loses his genitals.
[00:47:57] And now he's like, you know, it's obviously
[00:47:59] Leo DiCaprio is playing him.
[00:48:01] It's kind of a rise and fall.
[00:48:02] Now I don't have a dick anymore.
[00:48:04] Yeah, it's like the end of casino, right?
[00:48:07] Where he has to go back to being just a heavy cat.
[00:48:09] I mean, there actually has to be someone doing that.
[00:48:11] You know, that is a true story that you're telling here.
[00:48:15] Mm-hmm.
[00:48:16] Well, that is worth it.
[00:48:18] They hire hackers, right, to like create internet security,
[00:48:22] like cyber security.
[00:48:24] I have no idea.
[00:48:25] I think that's what they do.
[00:48:26] Yeah.
[00:48:26] I don't think they do anything.
[00:48:28] Well, no, not the FBI, but like, you know, Facebook
[00:48:31] or whatever, they'll hire hackers that have like,
[00:48:34] compromised their security protocols or whatever.
[00:48:36] Yeah, well, the main point is that the fact that
[00:48:39] that's the only crime they do that with, you know?
[00:48:42] I guess I used to do it with check bouncing.
[00:48:44] Really?
[00:48:45] That's the catch me.
[00:48:46] If you're like a check forger, they're like,
[00:48:47] we need you to teach.
[00:48:48] That's where Frank Abigail wound up.
[00:48:51] Yeah, it's Pimp.
[00:48:52] Yeah, movie.
[00:48:53] You should have him on the show.
[00:48:54] Once you figure out how to interview people,
[00:48:56] Frank, I'll acknowledge.
[00:48:57] I've alienated our guest.
[00:48:59] I apologize by asking too many probing questions
[00:49:01] about big dick granddaddy, but we'll get to the bottom
[00:49:07] of it one way or the other.
[00:49:08] Dude, I saw my grandfather's dick one time
[00:49:12] and it left the lasting impression on me
[00:49:16] and I don't want to talk about it.
[00:49:17] They were built different in the 20s.
[00:49:18] Well, it's not the dick.
[00:49:21] It's the tastic wall.
[00:49:21] These guys go around soft with a fucking Arizona iced tea can.
[00:49:25] It's insane.
[00:49:27] Every gym I've ever been to, every gym locker,
[00:49:30] it's just like, what was going on?
[00:49:32] Have dicks gotten smaller?
[00:49:34] I think must have.
[00:49:37] It's just so funny.
[00:49:38] So funny to be at that stage in life.
[00:49:41] And it's a useless dick too.
[00:49:43] But it's just so fucking, it's a Lincoln down hardly.
[00:49:46] It's so funny.
[00:49:51] Wow.
[00:49:52] I'm sorry if this is hitting too close to home.
[00:49:54] Oh, yeah.
[00:49:55] It's just taking you back to that lake outside of Chicago.
[00:49:59] This grandfather's mask.
[00:50:00] We're unbeknownst to you, you decided
[00:50:02] to become a filmmaker.
[00:50:05] No, it's in northern Wisconsin.
[00:50:08] Who's the most beautiful actress that you, if you cast.
[00:50:12] You're casting a movie about beauty.
[00:50:14] Who would you cast?
[00:50:17] I don't know if I can know.
[00:50:19] Yeah, just pick one.
[00:50:20] It's just an interview.
[00:50:21] Just pick one.
[00:50:23] Come on, boy.
[00:50:25] Yeah, fucking.
[00:50:26] This is like an.
[00:50:30] Yeah, this fuck was like the hot new fucking.
[00:50:35] Oh, yeah.
[00:50:36] Yeah, it's all right.
[00:50:37] I don't know the good names of any woman either.
[00:50:41] Nice people.
[00:50:42] You know, they say the key to interviewing is you try
[00:50:44] to have a conversation and not ask questions.
[00:50:46] Yeah.
[00:50:47] You've been really peppering my question.
[00:50:51] Like I said, dude, I'm just a groove myself.
[00:50:53] Just your keeping time.
[00:50:55] Keeping time in the time master.
[00:50:57] I'm just here to set a tempo.
[00:50:59] Yeah, it's true.
[00:51:00] Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
[00:51:04] bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop,
[00:51:06] bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
[00:51:07] Really, Mike, one reason that I think
[00:51:10] you'd be a good resource for the show
[00:51:12] is that you're an expert on old public access,
[00:51:16] oddities and stuff.
[00:51:18] And really, in some ways, those guys
[00:51:19] were making their own TV shows.
[00:51:21] And that's kind of what Nick and I are trying to do.
[00:51:24] And like, do you see the vision that I'm trying to do?
[00:51:28] Yeah, yeah.
[00:51:29] I mean, I do love public access so much.
[00:51:32] And it was kind of heartbreaking.
[00:51:34] I got rid of my cable box a year ago,
[00:51:37] like drink COVID, but I used to watch that stuff 24-7.
[00:51:41] And there's all these great sort of talk shows that were on it.
[00:51:45] They were great because it'd be like some like,
[00:51:47] the Black Israelites are selling, or there is this one I
[00:51:49] really called like, Late Night with Johnny P.
[00:51:51] It was like a Staten Island P-E, just P, the latter.
[00:51:55] And they'd interview like, if some guy was on the sopranos
[00:51:56] for one second.
[00:51:57] And we're back.
[00:51:58] Pull me another glass.
[00:52:00] I'm going to get into it here.
[00:52:01] I mean, no, but that.
[00:52:02] But they were.
[00:52:03] But there are.
[00:52:05] Delicious.
[00:52:07] Anyways, the sewer system is really in trouble here.
[00:52:10] I'm just a fucking common piss-tricker from Staten Island.
[00:52:13] Listen, I'm just so metallic and retard
[00:52:15] the drinks piss-for-living.
[00:52:17] But I can tell you, this Eric Adams guy
[00:52:20] is really fixing a lot of the problems
[00:52:22] at the Blasio-Cors, but not creating his own kind of problems.
[00:52:27] And as in New Yorker, what do you think New York needs?
[00:52:32] You're a New Yorker.
[00:52:35] We got to clean up the streets, man.
[00:52:36] You got to clean up the streets.
[00:52:37] Do you hear of?
[00:52:38] With a gun or do you actually clean them?
[00:52:41] Because they're filthy.
[00:52:42] I think both, yeah, right?
[00:52:43] Yeah.
[00:52:44] Well, you can clean things with guns.
[00:52:47] How do you feel about broken windows, please?
[00:52:51] I mean, I think it's pretty logical.
[00:52:53] I mean, it's a good idea.
[00:52:54] Yeah.
[00:52:55] I mean, it's pretty gnarly out right now.
[00:52:58] You know, and I think you have to do something.
[00:52:59] It has got a wild urge during COVID.
[00:53:03] Yeah, I mean, I don't.
[00:53:03] I feel like the freaks really came out
[00:53:05] of wherever they were.
[00:53:07] Completely.
[00:53:08] And the weird thing is just totally out of control.
[00:53:10] You know what I think we need, rather than just, yeah,
[00:53:12] the broken windows, it's like, you know how you go
[00:53:14] to some bad neighborhoods and they have the generator
[00:53:17] with the big lights up?
[00:53:18] Yeah.
[00:53:19] So we do that, but on a more massive and micro scale,
[00:53:23] is that we get drones that shine a spotlight on every black
[00:53:26] person in New York City individually.
[00:53:30] Well, just so that they each have their own spotlight.
[00:53:33] It's just just their, they're just blasting them.
[00:53:37] I don't know about that idea.
[00:53:39] 24-cent.
[00:53:39] I don't know about that idea.
[00:53:41] OK, well, you mean like they're performers,
[00:53:44] kind of like they're in a concert or something?
[00:53:46] That's what we'll tell them.
[00:53:47] That's what you meant.
[00:53:48] That's how we'll sell it.
[00:53:51] Wait, can you want to tell us about this P guy?
[00:53:55] Because I feel like you know a lot about people
[00:53:57] trying to make their own TV shows.
[00:53:59] And that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you.
[00:54:02] Because I think that you could have some good insights for us.
[00:54:04] Yeah, I know that was a good one.
[00:54:06] That was a classic one, which was a very small scale thing.
[00:54:09] Marketing it like it's for, like it's a hit.
[00:54:11] Yeah, it's like, you know, one guy
[00:54:12] that was on the sopranos for one second, you know,
[00:54:14] a guy dressed like it, acting like it's a real Hollywood thing.
[00:54:19] And then there'd be like Joan Quinn profiles,
[00:54:22] some old lady in her living room doing the high classic
[00:54:24] interviews and extra in the play.
[00:54:27] You know, you know.
[00:54:28] And it's just totally eccentric great shows and that you would
[00:54:32] never get served up from algorithm or something.
[00:54:34] You know, just flipping through the channels.
[00:54:35] See what's on M&M, you know, three in the morning.
[00:54:38] Is M&M still happening?
[00:54:41] I think so.
[00:54:41] Yeah, it's like near Times Square somewhere.
[00:54:43] Just like a studio that you can run out of M&M store.
[00:54:47] It's not the M&M store.
[00:54:49] It's like a television studio.
[00:54:52] But it's by the M&M store.
[00:54:54] Actually, you can hit both.
[00:54:56] We could have actually probably just.
[00:54:57] Do you ever just out and about in Hollywood
[00:55:00] met any of the M&Ms?
[00:55:01] The talking ones.
[00:55:02] I don't mean the.
[00:55:03] Have you met the yellow one or?
[00:55:09] Nah, man.
[00:55:11] Is the yellow one.
[00:55:13] Does he have Down syndrome?
[00:55:15] Is that true or?
[00:55:16] No, he just has that voice.
[00:55:17] Oh, OK.
[00:55:19] His voice.
[00:55:20] Yeah, it's like a deeper voice.
[00:55:21] Yeah.
[00:55:23] The brown M&M, that's the sexy one.
[00:55:25] No, the green one.
[00:55:26] I think both green and brown are.
[00:55:28] Brown's also a slut.
[00:55:30] Yeah, she's a black woman with glasses.
[00:55:34] Oh, glasses are kind of sexy on a girl.
[00:55:36] Yeah, I kind of like that.
[00:55:38] It's weird that they never made any of the Skittles.
[00:55:42] You know, it's just the California raisins and the M&Ms.
[00:55:46] It's true.
[00:55:47] Yeah.
[00:55:48] Yeah.
[00:55:49] They should do like kind of a thing to show.
[00:55:52] Like, you know, like an anti.
[00:55:55] Are the Skittles all gay guys?
[00:55:57] Anti-miscegenation or promiscegenation sort of like marketing
[00:56:02] campaign that's the red M&M. And he's
[00:56:04] married to one of the California raisins.
[00:56:06] Yeah.
[00:56:06] Like, Skittles have like a kind of tropical vibe, right?
[00:56:08] Yeah.
[00:56:09] Yeah.
[00:56:09] It's like tropical.
[00:56:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:56:11] Yeah.
[00:56:11] Like a similar one.
[00:56:12] They're island guys.
[00:56:13] Yeah.
[00:56:14] Yeah.
[00:56:15] We taste the Nerembo.
[00:56:17] Yeah, I like that.
[00:56:18] Yeah, it's a good idea.
[00:56:19] Yeah.
[00:56:19] No, that's an idea.
[00:56:21] Mike, do you like candy in general?
[00:56:22] What's your favorite candy?
[00:56:24] I like bottle caps.
[00:56:26] It's pretty sick.
[00:56:27] Mm-hmm.
[00:56:28] Like, Smarties, like that kind of...
[00:56:30] Oh, like a sweet, sweet tart kind of...
[00:56:33] Chalky kind of...
[00:56:34] Yeah, chalky, tart-y sort of.
[00:56:36] Yeah.
[00:56:37] Those are pretty good.
[00:56:38] Yeah.
[00:56:39] I guess so.
[00:56:40] I'm not much of a candy person myself.
[00:56:42] Oh, you don't like candy?
[00:56:43] I'm not crazy.
[00:56:44] I mean, I just don't go crazy for it.
[00:56:47] Yeah.
[00:56:48] Yeah.
[00:56:49] If the police department could use any kind of animal to stop crime besides, you know,
[00:56:53] German shepherds, what would you select?
[00:56:56] Perhaps Boa Constrictor?
[00:56:58] We'll start you off there and then you can...
[00:57:00] Yeah, that's a really tricky one.
[00:57:05] I guess it...
[00:57:10] Yeah, something like really...
[00:57:12] Maybe like...
[00:57:15] Just like a trillion roaches or something.
[00:57:20] Oh, okay.
[00:57:21] Like a spray.
[00:57:22] That'd be good.
[00:57:23] Even more, we have a lot to imagine.
[00:57:24] Like a hose that bugs come out of.
[00:57:29] Like a massive bug.
[00:57:30] A massive bug exploding.
[00:57:32] Like a projectile of a mass bug machine.
[00:57:36] That's a good idea.
[00:57:37] That's a good idea.
[00:57:38] Incorporate that into the spotlight drones.
[00:57:40] Yeah.
[00:57:41] Yeah, if they're up to no good...
[00:57:43] Right.
[00:57:44] Then we just have...
[00:57:45] The light turns off.
[00:57:46] Here from the bugs.
[00:57:47] The police bugs.
[00:57:48] That's like a hose.
[00:57:49] There's a lot of...
[00:57:50] If you step on one...
[00:57:51] Yeah.
[00:57:52] If you step on one, you're assaulting an officer.
[00:57:54] You're doing hard time.
[00:57:55] Right.
[00:57:56] Then you're going to the slammer.
[00:57:58] And no one...
[00:57:59] I guess they respect the cop killer in there, but...
[00:58:03] They're going to give you a little bit of a rough ride on the way to the station.
[00:58:07] You get the Freddie Gray treatment.
[00:58:09] Yeah.
[00:58:10] You know, that fucking roach.
[00:58:11] He was a good officer.
[00:58:14] Out about in Hollywood, do you talk to celebrities much that regret posting black squares yet?
[00:58:21] Is that the...
[00:58:22] Is that seem to be the talk on the Rodeo drive?
[00:58:28] Or in the McLaren dealership in Beverly Hills?
[00:58:31] Yeah.
[00:58:32] I think everyone just pretends they didn't do it, right?
[00:58:34] Yeah.
[00:58:35] I don't think anyone wants to talk about it.
[00:58:36] What's the closest you ever got to Jeffrey Epstein in Hollywood?
[00:58:42] Rick Moranis, perhaps?
[00:58:43] Yeah, I don't think I have.
[00:58:46] Have you met anyone on the flight logs?
[00:58:48] I haven't looked at...
[00:58:49] I don't know who's on the flight logs.
[00:58:50] Sounds like Rick Moranis.
[00:58:51] Probably.
[00:58:52] I mean, hasn't everyone met someone probably?
[00:58:54] Yeah.
[00:58:55] Rick Moranis famously quit acting when his wife died.
[00:58:59] That's respectable.
[00:59:01] That's how people react to it.
[00:59:02] They say it's no bull or something.
[00:59:03] But it's not.
[00:59:04] What is he?
[00:59:05] He's doing it because he wants to stop hanging out with her?
[00:59:08] But he wanted to spend more time with his kids.
[00:59:10] Oh, that makes sense.
[00:59:11] Well, I thought he was acting so he could get out of the damn house because his wife
[00:59:14] was being a little bit of a bitch.
[00:59:17] Oh, have you heard that in your travels?
[00:59:19] I have heard that.
[00:59:20] Was Rick Moranis a wife beater or not?
[00:59:23] He was beaten though, right?
[00:59:25] Oh, yeah, he got his ass beat.
[00:59:27] He did.
[00:59:28] Do you remember when he got his ass?
[00:59:29] Yeah, he got knockout game.
[00:59:32] But that was shit.
[00:59:34] During the knockout game news cycle, he was the only person that anyone could pinboy
[00:59:40] having actually been knockout game.
[00:59:42] Yeah, it seemed to bring everyone together.
[00:59:43] There was a big outcry for catching the work.
[00:59:46] I'm around this knockout game.
[00:59:48] Let's get the central park five.
[00:59:53] Interesting.
[00:59:54] Yeah.
[00:59:55] Interview questions.
[00:59:56] Mike, do you think aliens built the pyramids?
[00:59:59] And if so, what kind of alien?
[01:00:01] Yeah.
[01:00:02] I think it was just people probably.
[01:00:05] Jewish people?
[01:00:06] I don't know enough about who is.
[01:00:08] Are you conspiracy theorists in general?
[01:00:12] No, definitely not.
[01:00:14] Are there any that you're on board with?
[01:00:15] Well, I mean, I was dropping the John Rivers, Obama thing.
[01:00:20] Yeah.
[01:00:21] Trying to take him any good ones.
[01:00:23] I don't know.
[01:00:24] Nothing at the moment comes to mind.
[01:00:26] You ever see the movie, Eight-Legged Freaks?
[01:00:27] I don't know.
[01:00:28] There's like a spider.
[01:00:29] Yeah.
[01:00:30] I don't know what would you do if that happened to you.
[01:00:33] Yeah, what happens in that?
[01:00:39] I'm so sorry.
[01:00:47] What happens?
[01:00:48] There's a big spider.
[01:00:49] I don't know.
[01:00:50] I haven't seen an island.
[01:00:51] She speaks.
[01:00:52] What would you do?
[01:00:54] Dude, we're going to be so good at interviewing.
[01:00:57] Just stomp the fucking spider out.
[01:01:00] No, it's too big.
[01:01:01] They're too big.
[01:01:02] They're about the size of the coffee table here.
[01:01:05] That big?
[01:01:06] Oh, that's not that big.
[01:01:07] You've got a big fat guy to stomp the coffee.
[01:01:09] You have that adrenaline.
[01:01:10] You get extra strength.
[01:01:11] You just have to go.
[01:01:12] Do you think the Michelin man has any kind of accent?
[01:01:17] Like a French accent?
[01:01:18] You haven't heard his voice.
[01:01:19] Yeah, you never hear his accent.
[01:01:21] Something seems high pitched, probably.
[01:01:23] Yeah.
[01:01:24] I can see a little French or Canadian or something.
[01:01:28] What do you think is the sexiest type of accent that you've ever heard?
[01:01:32] Man or woman?
[01:01:33] Maybe like an older Midwestern sort of accent.
[01:01:37] Like the kind of grandfather.
[01:01:40] Yeah.
[01:01:41] Nah, I don't know how fucking that would be.
[01:01:46] No.
[01:01:47] Have you ever seen a dead body?
[01:01:51] I don't think so.
[01:01:52] I remember I was walking to the park one time when I was a kid and I walked by like a garbage can and there was like two feet coming out of it.
[01:02:01] It's like someone was like upside down in the garbage can and it seemed pretty dubious.
[01:02:07] That doesn't seem like the kind of way somebody would dump a body.
[01:02:10] Yeah.
[01:02:11] I think it's probably okay.
[01:02:12] But no, I'm trying to think.
[01:02:13] But the few were just...
[01:02:14] And if it was, it wasn't like a murder that was like a mentally disabled person throwing like a little brother because they didn't know to tell their parents first.
[01:02:23] Yeah.
[01:02:24] Yeah.
[01:02:25] So it could have been.
[01:02:26] It was an older brother with intellectual disabilities that found his eight year old brother dead from jail.
[01:02:31] Have you seen this blanket homeless person in like the East Village?
[01:02:34] What blanket?
[01:02:35] Have you seen it?
[01:02:36] This dude who always has like a blanket over him.
[01:02:38] He's always got a blanket over him.
[01:02:40] I see him like near Washington Square Park a lot.
[01:02:42] He's around.
[01:02:43] It's really scary.
[01:02:44] Sorry, Dick.
[01:02:45] Can you explain to me how that's different than most homeless people?
[01:02:48] He's covered in a blanket and you just see feet at the bottom.
[01:02:52] I feel like that's a lot of them.
[01:02:54] It's the only time I've seen it.
[01:02:56] He's moving with the blanket on him like a ghost kind of.
[01:02:59] He just wears it in a unique sort of manner distinct.
[01:03:02] If you saw it, you would know what I'm talking about.
[01:03:04] Like a Pac-Man ghost.
[01:03:05] What do you mean?
[01:03:06] Like a trick.
[01:03:07] Like real quick, Pac-Man coming back?
[01:03:09] Yes or no?
[01:03:10] Yeah, I think it's timeless.
[01:03:12] Yeah.
[01:03:13] Yeah.
[01:03:14] Okay.
[01:03:15] You play.
[01:03:16] Are you seeing that guy though?
[01:03:17] Are you an arcade game aficionado?
[01:03:19] Um.
[01:03:20] Gamer.
[01:03:21] A little bit.
[01:03:22] Not.
[01:03:23] What are you playing these days?
[01:03:24] That's like, well, just like very...
[01:03:27] I like the original Dr. Mario.
[01:03:29] Dr. Mario.
[01:03:30] What did he do?
[01:03:31] The intellectual choice.
[01:03:32] What was Dr. Mario?
[01:03:33] It's just like some germs like dropping down.
[01:03:35] Kind of like an a Tetris like thing.
[01:03:38] He wasn't like, he wasn't checking, he wasn't doing gynecology or you know, like delivering
[01:03:44] a baby.
[01:03:45] I don't think so.
[01:03:46] It's for children.
[01:03:47] That would be sort of bizarre.
[01:03:48] Well, it'd be educational.
[01:03:50] You don't know.
[01:03:51] I'm fucking with that a little bit.
[01:03:54] Yeah, it's like old simple shit.
[01:03:57] No, he just likes movies, dude.
[01:03:59] He's a film director.
[01:04:00] We're not talking about movies, Mike.
[01:04:03] Well, that's because you want to try to get a different kind.
[01:04:06] Mike could go on any show and they could just ask him what his favorite movie is.
[01:04:09] We're trying to do something different.
[01:04:11] Yeah, I guess so.
[01:04:12] I spent a little Mario Sunshine the other day.
[01:04:14] What's that?
[01:04:15] That's like about cleaning up the streets.
[01:04:16] It's like a...
[01:04:17] It is about cleaning literally.
[01:04:18] It's like a broken windows thing.
[01:04:19] It's like an ant-sacrificity kind of thing.
[01:04:20] You have like a water pack.
[01:04:22] Mario has this little backpack that's got a spotlight on it.
[01:04:25] There's these little like dark guys in the town that are causing trouble.
[01:04:29] Oh, the little...
[01:04:30] The mushroom guys, the Koopas.
[01:04:31] Yeah, but they're dark.
[01:04:32] They're possessed by some kind of...
[01:04:35] It's called like the jungle spirit or something in the game.
[01:04:37] And you have to shine a light on them to fix them.
[01:04:40] Wow.
[01:04:41] But you have to hold it on them.
[01:04:43] But then the twist is that Eric Adams is making him do it.
[01:04:48] Yeah.
[01:04:49] He's working for Mayor Eric Adams.
[01:04:51] Yeah.
[01:04:52] So is it racist or is it self-hatred?
[01:04:55] I don't know if he's working for Eric Adams in the game.
[01:04:58] Well, it's not.
[01:04:59] It doesn't take place in New Donk City.
[01:05:01] No.
[01:05:02] Mario Sunshine.
[01:05:03] Why don't you tell us about it?
[01:05:05] I mean, I just was like playing the first level the other day.
[01:05:08] I was on Delphine, some shit island.
[01:05:10] I don't know.
[01:05:11] Delphine Island.
[01:05:12] No, it's tropical shit.
[01:05:13] This guy jet back cleaning up some leg graffiti.
[01:05:15] So it's Mario on a private island.
[01:05:17] Yeah.
[01:05:18] I think that there is some Epstein looking stuff on it.
[01:05:20] Definitely a big time.
[01:05:21] Yeah.
[01:05:22] There's a lot of those weird structures.
[01:05:24] Yeah.
[01:05:25] The symbols too.
[01:05:26] The Nambla symbol or at least the Boy Love symbol appears many times.
[01:05:30] What is the Boy Love symbol?
[01:05:32] Many, many, many times.
[01:05:33] What does it look like?
[01:05:35] It's like two triangles.
[01:05:37] Two just like what are they?
[01:05:39] What are they called?
[01:05:40] What is it called?
[01:05:41] The equilateral triangles.
[01:05:42] And one's facing down and one's facing up.
[01:05:45] And they're overlapped with each other.
[01:05:47] You're thinking of something else?
[01:05:48] No.
[01:05:49] No.
[01:05:50] Yeah.
[01:05:51] That's one small triangle and one big triangle.
[01:05:53] No.
[01:05:54] It's one.
[01:05:55] No.
[01:05:56] One eagle arrow triangle and one that's pointing down.
[01:05:58] And they're over each other.
[01:05:59] I know what he's doing.
[01:06:01] He's doing anti-seventilating.
[01:06:04] And guess what?
[01:06:05] We could all see through it immediately.
[01:06:07] Okay.
[01:06:08] All right.
[01:06:09] Let's get our in studio.
[01:06:10] We need to get an in studio bitch to look things up.
[01:06:13] Not you.
[01:06:15] We need to get like a porny looking kind of woman like Lewis has.
[01:06:21] You know?
[01:06:22] Can we get, can we look that up?
[01:06:24] We're already blowing a lot of money on new employees.
[01:06:26] That's true.
[01:06:27] That they're doing stuff like checking your voicemail for you or typing text messages for you.
[01:06:34] No one's doing that.
[01:06:36] Doing a lot.
[01:06:37] We've already got a couple of assistants for you.
[01:06:39] So I think if we add anybody else.
[01:06:42] I said I only need three.
[01:06:44] We should go skilled labor, I think, from here on out.
[01:06:47] And no more.
[01:06:48] One assistant for the show that just rides the subways and then catalogs with teenagers
[01:06:54] are wearing.
[01:06:56] So then get me that for my wardrobe.
[01:06:58] It's like wearing like a lot like an urban youth aesthetic for when we get the set and
[01:07:04] everything set up.
[01:07:05] I think we should get you a Darth Vader costume.
[01:07:07] That would be kind of sick.
[01:07:11] And then the buttons, they do different impressions of people.
[01:07:14] It'll automatically, you know, because Adam's kind of lacking in that department.
[01:07:18] But necessary for any talk show host is a solid repertoire of impressions.
[01:07:23] Yeah.
[01:07:24] So we get you a Darth Vader outfit, but it allows you to, you know, yeah, do it in pressure.
[01:07:30] Yeah.
[01:07:31] That suit, because he burned off most of his body.
[01:07:33] Is that the story?
[01:07:34] Yeah, he was fighting Ben Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
[01:07:40] And then Obi-Wan had the high ground.
[01:07:42] Yeah.
[01:07:43] And it was a matter of him standing on it, like maybe one foot higher.
[01:07:45] Mike, have you ever had that happen where you've had a falling out with a mentor or lover,
[01:07:49] perhaps?
[01:07:50] Like a lover's quarrel?
[01:07:52] A platonic lover.
[01:07:53] Definitely.
[01:07:54] Like a male friend that you were in love with.
[01:07:56] You had the dumps in them, not in love with, but you know, had some, had the dumps and friends.
[01:08:00] And how did that feel?
[01:08:02] It feels like a breakup, those of us.
[01:08:05] Yeah, I mean, you know, but it's, and it doesn't even work because they still, you know, you
[01:08:09] can pop up.
[01:08:10] Would you wish harm on them or?
[01:08:13] Absolutely not.
[01:08:14] No, no, no.
[01:08:15] Would you say that you would wish that they would criticize the Obamas before a surgery,
[01:08:20] perhaps?
[01:08:21] I mean, yeah, sure.
[01:08:22] That would be a, that would, that would solve a lot.
[01:08:24] That would be my, it would be my, you know, but it'd be okay.
[01:08:28] Yeah.
[01:08:29] I think that's a lot of bad idea.
[01:08:31] Yeah.
[01:08:32] Adam, have you had any good ideas recently?
[01:08:35] I can't think of one.
[01:08:36] You can't think of one.
[01:08:38] Why don't you tell us a little bit more about your glasses?
[01:08:43] I've had them for a while.
[01:08:45] Yeah.
[01:08:46] Yeah.
[01:08:47] They're, I got the same frames.
[01:08:51] I've had like three or four of them.
[01:08:53] They keep whenever they break.
[01:08:54] I get to see what it looks like.
[01:08:55] They're all over peoples.
[01:08:56] They're, yeah, they're Riley R. Oliver people.
[01:08:59] I got them right after college, like 15 years ago.
[01:09:03] Interesting.
[01:09:04] Did you get those because of American psycho?
[01:09:06] 25 years ago.
[01:09:07] I believe he was wearing the same ones, maybe the Gregory Peck ones.
[01:09:15] Maybe no, no, he was wearing the metal ones.
[01:09:18] No, but we should, I don't know.
[01:09:22] Yeah.
[01:09:23] That's it.
[01:09:24] That's just about it.
[01:09:25] I mean, I could have, that's all I can think of.
[01:09:28] What about your glasses?
[01:09:29] Where'd you get yours?
[01:09:30] I wear a mascot.
[01:09:31] Yeah.
[01:09:32] You know I wear it off of a mascot.
[01:09:33] Mascot's cool.
[01:09:34] When I went to Japan.
[01:09:36] They were upset like all the glasses stores that I walked past.
[01:09:41] There was like a sign that said we have most got glasses.
[01:09:43] Do you wear glasses, Mike?
[01:09:46] No, I don't.
[01:09:47] Is it because you have perfect vision or?
[01:09:50] I have perfect vision.
[01:09:51] Yeah, but I also don't, but I don't wear sunglasses either.
[01:09:53] Do you think that led to your decision to become a filmmaker?
[01:09:56] Yeah.
[01:09:57] It was a good one.
[01:09:58] It would always praise your eyes.
[01:09:59] They said this man has such a clear vision here and everything.
[01:10:03] Yeah.
[01:10:04] I think so.
[01:10:05] Yeah, but yeah, I feel weird wearing glasses.
[01:10:10] At what point did you say I'm going to be a filmmaker?
[01:10:13] You knew that that's just what you were going to do.
[01:10:15] I mean, it seemed just like really easy because it was like you see these people do one movie
[01:10:21] and then they don't do shit for like five years and then the math is it's a couple of
[01:10:26] like a month to shoot something.
[01:10:28] So tactically it seems like a very smart thing to do.
[01:10:32] Yeah.
[01:10:33] Only because being Dr. Mario is not.
[01:10:36] Yeah, but then I realized that they're actually working all in the in between.
[01:10:39] Yeah, that sucks.
[01:10:41] I really backfired.
[01:10:42] Yeah, but it still turned out okay.
[01:10:44] But I guess I tried doing it in college for a second, but I took much of these classes
[01:10:48] and they were so horrible.
[01:10:49] Took a bunch of what classes?
[01:10:51] It's just some film classes.
[01:10:52] Oh, awful.
[01:10:53] I don't want to do this.
[01:10:54] And then I just kept taking it over and that was like, fuck it.
[01:10:58] I'll just keep doing it.
[01:10:59] And then I worked at Kim's for a while.
[01:11:01] Kim's video famous New York institution for the for the people who don't aren't familiar
[01:11:07] with Kim's.
[01:11:08] Why don't you want to explain Kim's history?
[01:11:11] There's this place in East Village that was probably like the biggest video store here.
[01:11:14] Why is it called Kim's?
[01:11:15] It's one of us Korean guy, Mr. Kim.
[01:11:17] And what did he sound like?
[01:11:18] Yeah, it was very implosion.
[01:11:20] He ran to do his voice maybe.
[01:11:22] I don't think I could do it.
[01:11:23] But um, because I never really talked to him.
[01:11:24] He barely even I don't care.
[01:11:25] I'm very spoken.
[01:11:26] I'm talking if he just would come in.
[01:11:27] He goes.
[01:11:28] He does whatever.
[01:11:29] But if you have an interesting smell, would you say?
[01:11:33] I would not.
[01:11:34] I don't know.
[01:11:35] Um, yeah, it's just this like place in East Village, a giant place, a total freak show.
[01:11:39] Interesting how it all sorts of mix of just the gnarliest, weirdest people coming in
[01:11:44] all day.
[01:11:45] And I did meet a lot of the people I work with and all of our friends from there.
[01:11:50] And um, yeah, that was sort of made it sort of doable to work with your friends versus
[01:11:56] right over this, you know, school way of doing.
[01:11:59] You worked with Sean.
[01:12:00] And what does it feel like?
[01:12:02] What does it feel like to have friends?
[01:12:04] What would you have to describe that feeling?
[01:12:06] You got a lot of friends.
[01:12:07] You have a lot of friends.
[01:12:09] Um, yeah, I think it's a wonderful thing, man.
[01:12:12] What do you have?
[01:12:13] I have nice friends.
[01:12:14] That sounds like a though.
[01:12:16] I mean, I would you say your work sort of embodies the esprit de friendship.
[01:12:23] Oh, yeah, completely.
[01:12:25] I don't know.
[01:12:26] I didn't fucking have you.
[01:12:27] I don't know if to fuck you.
[01:12:31] Did you ever have like, um, at the video store, you ever have like a famous person come try
[01:12:35] to buy a movie?
[01:12:36] Yeah, David Bowie was a big one.
[01:12:39] He was like trying to act like he wasn't.
[01:12:41] He says, David Jones and you know, he's trying to do the whole, uh, did he wear this regular
[01:12:46] guy by himself?
[01:12:47] Uh, yeah, but it's a good mix of like people like that.
[01:12:50] And then just abject, you know, porn, weirdos and academy people.
[01:12:55] Did you have a porn section behind a beaded curtain?
[01:12:59] There was a porn room, but there wasn't a beaded, but it was like off around the corner.
[01:13:02] When did Kim's video close 2014?
[01:13:06] Around then, but the St. Mark's one was kind of the great one.
[01:13:10] And then, um, that was probably close around.
[01:13:12] Yeah, maybe around 2014 probably.
[01:13:16] Um, now it's like some, I walked by it the other day and I think some type of like,
[01:13:22] Mutai gym or something or I saw people like powerlifting and doing all this like crazy
[01:13:26] shit in the window and then it's that barcade on the first floor.
[01:13:30] But I guess now there's an Alma draft house in the financial district where they brought
[01:13:34] all the all the movies got dumped at some place in Italy.
[01:13:37] Mm.
[01:13:38] Is some like community service thing.
[01:13:40] They're gonna create some new town that was some video utopia where everyone could.
[01:13:44] Everyone could rent movies and have a great time because I think it's some shame.
[01:13:46] Were they calling it WAP buster?
[01:13:48] Yes.
[01:13:49] And then they somehow brought it back to New York.
[01:13:52] Yeah.
[01:13:53] Wait, so some shady Italians stole all the movies from Kim's?
[01:13:59] Yeah, basically.
[01:14:00] And then Mr. Kim wanted it all together as like a collection.
[01:14:04] So they said we're going to create this vision of this town that was going to be in the
[01:14:09] middle of nowhere in Italy.
[01:14:10] That's like a you can bow down to this collection and just watch, you know, weird, uh, fastener
[01:14:18] movies and anime all day and stuff.
[01:14:20] And, uh, but I guess it was all sort of just rotting and some basement somewhere in reality.
[01:14:25] And now it's back in, uh, like by Wall Street.
[01:14:29] In Fido.
[01:14:30] Yeah.
[01:14:31] Yeah.
[01:14:32] I haven't been there yet.
[01:14:33] But I don't really like the draft house.
[01:14:34] I think it's a fascist institution.
[01:14:37] Yeah.
[01:14:38] I don't like them either.
[01:14:39] But you don't like it because, because, uh, they're like me and about your phone or something.
[01:14:45] It's an, it's a tattle tale environment.
[01:14:47] It's a place for Karen's and cops.
[01:14:49] Yeah.
[01:14:50] When they pay, they play that voicemail before the movie starts with that drunk girl that's
[01:14:55] like, I've never been treated this misogynistic, by the way.
[01:14:59] Yeah, it's misogynistic.
[01:15:01] They, they, they, they enforce the rule via humiliating some dumb drunk bitch.
[01:15:06] Yeah.
[01:15:07] We really know who that don't talk in the theater rules are being levied against.
[01:15:11] Mm hmm.
[01:15:12] It's true.
[01:15:13] I mean, it's off putting, but I think we should be so lucky as to have these places.
[01:15:16] You know, like the best theater in New York City closed, which was Court Street theaters.
[01:15:21] Because that place was just complete anarchy.
[01:15:24] I think if you want complete silence, you need to make enough money to have your own
[01:15:27] movie theater.
[01:15:28] Yeah.
[01:15:29] I think if you're expecting any kind of shared space to be, you know, special for you.
[01:15:34] I was at Court Street watching, uh, John Wick 2, I think.
[01:15:38] And a woman just brought like 25 Tupperwares of dinner.
[01:15:43] She kept just like opening them eating so loudly.
[01:15:46] Like talking with her mouth full during the meal.
[01:15:48] It was, it was a great experience.
[01:15:51] Very communal.
[01:15:52] What was she eating?
[01:15:53] She had chicken.
[01:15:55] She had a fucking, she had a lot of stuff.
[01:15:57] I remember she had pieces of rotisserie chicken that were like boxed up into different boxes.
[01:16:04] It was kind of enterprising, but it was all for herself.
[01:16:07] Rotisserie in French that, that's probably.
[01:16:10] Rotee.
[01:16:11] It just means like a rotational chicken or something because it spins around.
[01:16:15] That sounds way less appetizing.
[01:16:18] Like if you're a French guy and somebody was like, hey, do you want any rotated chicken?
[01:16:23] I'd be like, no, that sounds disgusting.
[01:16:26] You know what I mean?
[01:16:28] Yeah.
[01:16:29] Like, but alternatively, microwave to a French ear probably sounds great.
[01:16:34] Oh, make her a wow.
[01:16:36] Make her a wow.
[01:16:37] What, what good did it mean?
[01:16:40] Add in a no, what good did it mean?
[01:16:44] Well, Mike, what do you think could be done to fix the media?
[01:16:48] Yeah, people just need to make it shit.
[01:16:52] I mean, it's whatever.
[01:16:53] It's not what I got.
[01:16:54] So that's a good answer.
[01:16:55] Yeah, that's good.
[01:16:56] Well, thanks for coming.
[01:16:57] Thanks for being here.
[01:16:58] It's certainly been a learning experience for Adam to get better at interviewing people.
[01:17:05] Hopefully you're not too offended about, you know, whatever.
[01:17:08] Your grandfather's mother's cock.
[01:17:11] Do that upset you?
[01:17:13] No, it's just an inaccurate representation of.
[01:17:16] So what was that?
[01:17:17] So what did he have a small big?
[01:17:19] What would it look like?
[01:17:20] No fucking clue it size, man.
[01:17:22] That's some gay shit, man.
[01:17:24] That's a good point.
[01:17:25] What's not gay?
[01:17:26] Well, it is some gay shit.
[01:17:27] No, it's just, I mean, your grandfather had a dick and it had a size.
[01:17:32] No, but to remember that means you have a man's dick in your brain.
[01:17:35] Okay.
[01:17:36] Yeah.
[01:17:37] I'm not going to argue that.
[01:17:38] That's why anytime I've ever seen a man's dick, I hit my head really.
[01:17:43] I guess I'm saying I'm not trying to actively gauge these things in situations.
[01:17:47] Yeah.
[01:17:48] Well, I'll tell you what, I'm going to hit stop in the recorder and then Adam is going
[01:17:51] to, it's going to be a seamless transition to Adam thanking our producers and the associate
[01:17:57] producers of the Adam Friedland show.
[01:17:59] I have to say all their names.
[01:18:01] Yes you do.
[01:18:02] Really?
[01:18:03] That's 100% of the deal.
[01:18:04] All right, let's do it.
[01:18:05] Okay.
[01:18:06] So we're going to go ahead and print those names and Adam is going to read them off and
[01:18:10] how many names are there?
[01:18:13] Producers first and then I will lower the volume and then Adam will read the associate
[01:18:16] producers.
[01:18:17] That's a good idea.
[01:18:18] At a slightly faster speed at a lower volume.
[01:18:22] I'll go as fast as I can.
[01:18:23] Yeah.
[01:18:24] And to answer your question, there's probably a total of about 350 to 400 names.
[01:18:30] Hi, this is Adam.
[01:18:34] Thanks again to our guest Mike Beland and thank you very much to our producers.
[01:18:39] Thank you Jacob Grimm, Jack Dayton, Helios, Matt Millum, Kyber, Lanebock, Brandon, Blalock,
[01:18:45] Silas Sureski, Liam, Brian Allen, Olivia, and Ronald.
[01:18:52] Ronald, Michael Whitman, Evan, Duolute, Leepas, Pussy, Tony, Koker, Fatso, Beef, Abu,
[01:18:58] Karel, Bigdadi, Ben Taylor, John Sargent, and the third, Sean Freeman, Boris, Kitchak,
[01:19:08] William, Jimmy Chocolate, Creme Boy, Genius, Jacob Blandram, Eric Bunton, that guy 58.
[01:19:17] At the Adam Friedland Show Girl and I.G. the dumbest bitch in the whole world.
[01:19:21] Syria, Deere, Zachazee, Baumast, Ancus, down up North.
[01:19:26] Not my real name.
[01:19:28] Norvin English, Green the Fifth, Debaser, Lenin, Yawl, El Greco, Keith, Jesch Mohan,
[01:19:35] Brian Murray, Matt Bagley.
[01:19:38] Blackus Croes, No Salvation.
[01:19:40] Yawl Worth-Hundt, one of my friends.
[01:19:45] Raviole Yumyam, Josiah, Volcano Farts, Ethan Green, All Right Guy, Jacob Foster, Brian
[01:19:50] Cronin, Nick Berry, Joseph Stalin, Dry County Blues, Samuel Erickson, Jessica, Steven Holbrook,
[01:19:58] Gabrielle Maurice-Hio, Ronald Roosterasty, Sam Kirsch, Kirschen Heiter.
[01:20:06] I love Clans and Combs, my name is Amaya Nilkamp, Doc Skirrata, Dox Skirrata, Dox Skirata,
[01:20:19] Aaron Brannan, Tim Dayan, Sonic the Hedge Fund, Levy, Henry Q. Danielson, John Doe, Frank
[01:20:27] Wren, Kerry Finholstetler, Thomas Chalker, Jeff Seacord, John Lee, Lauren, Winky Sam
[01:20:38] Zico, Deacon 3005, Ray, Michael Schwartz, Brian Dixon, LJ111, Seth McBride, Wahaka Flocka
[01:20:50] Flame, Bento, R. Tefol, Badger, Yahia Coley, Shane J.
[01:20:56] Elby, Fuge State, Gavin Dasuta, Daniel Camden, Azive, Jeffrey Winterlin, Brett
[01:21:04] Chrisman, Colton, Quinn Q, Hans Minaia, William White, Caleb Gonzalez, David Nolan
[01:21:12] Jr., Mike Boyer, Brian Cassells, George Grimwood, Kurt Benfoy, Kevin Delacroix, Jacob Hilton,
[01:21:20] Derek On TVareals, Adam Lewer, Andrew Moore's, Tom Wilkinson, great actor, Joel Corrente,
[01:21:29] Chicken Lips, Sarah Bonde, Erin Kraus, Mediocrison, John Bleuett, Brendan Hanaford, Joseph Hall,
[01:21:41] Michael, Jacob Sauber, Kavazos, Matt Manchester, E-Haunt, Fielding Carpenter, Nick Thornton,
[01:21:53] Zodiac Griller, Fi, Jack Dayton, Dakota Rogers, Dante de Blasio, Cabron fiber, Joe Cullen,
[01:22:02] Wolfgang Schmidt, Munz, Dalia Zahaava, Ben John Andre, Castaneda Chavez, Sludge Fuxwell,
[01:22:12] Elphidiio Quinones, Ollie, John Hartman, Dave Hock, Stateside Reds, Derek Culver, Noah
[01:22:20] Sousa, Julia Plumber, Harry Tate, very funny alone, Harry Tate, Thomas Bronner, Mark, Nathaniel
[01:22:30] Lesra, Lord Oglar, Mike B.R., Edward Daniel Smith, Dossoyevsky Pot, Manuel Vera, David
[01:22:40] Gebhard, Glenn Lee Chun, Craig, Liz Alberto Ginaan, Benjamin Collins, Big Mike, KB, Jacob,
[01:22:51] Nautau, Jay, Billy Ziskre, Kyle Friedland, Head Mosley, Aria N., Payne Miercuro, Charlie
[01:23:02] Ambler, Sawyer, Eric D. Schmidt, Brian Hurst, Rick Richard Oggich, thank you.
[01:23:11] And now for our associate producers.
[01:23:22] As
[01:23:45] Mike Frazier, Laul Pasada, Laul, La Pasa,
[01:23:51] Lopdasa, Mick Nolan, Mr. Charles D.
[01:23:57] Silas, Jovian Avila, Alec Kellis Knuck, Sam Bales,
[01:24:03] Silas Green, Dead at 30 Cannibalized by Wife,
[01:24:06] Yavin Arba, Alexander Nose, Jonathan Jones,
[01:24:10] Steven Axman, Daniel Leonard, Sila,
[01:24:14] Pinché Flojo, Daniel Goulav, Rion Folan, Sam Murphy,
[01:24:20] Austin Williams, Mike, Tom Guzzler, 182,
[01:24:23] B.H. Jones, Shawna Gwire, Joseph Mumford,
[01:24:27] Paul Tskselas, William Jones, W.
[01:24:32] Chris Davis, Thomas Gallagher, Young Boozer, Zara Zuka,
[01:24:37] Harris, Emily Snyder, Gregory Martin, Andrew Kumboy,
[01:24:40] Wyatt Robinette, Nick Wakeham, Mackenzie, Brett Mike Hessel,
[01:24:46] Brett Mike Cell, Joe Hagg, Noah Lester, Brandon Thornton,
[01:24:51] Franklin McGee, Alex Stichow, Huey Joe,
[01:24:54] Yousaf Mossad, Robert Reeves, Smart Bimpson,
[01:24:59] Jeff Johnson, Zach Lex Lewis, Jackson,
[01:25:02] Britt Hillis, Ben Red, Ethan Chase Lemons,
[01:25:06] Ronald Grande, Tag, Lenny Mitchell,
[01:25:09] Victor Vila Plando, Dakota Sky, Brett Bolin,
[01:25:14] Baumscai, Ted K, Duncan Holmes,
[01:25:18] Godel Bratt, Isaac Reyes, Terri C. Fenton,
[01:25:22] Nyle Fife, Zachary Grisel, Chase Bello,
[01:25:25] Thomas Breckenbranneke, Tony Casa,
[01:25:30] Colin Martin, Cody Pence, Jesse Ryan's,
[01:25:33] Randy Funfork, Bruh, Wyatt, Ian Taylor,
[01:25:38] with the Real Man Ox, Daniel Wood,
[01:25:40] Panda Bear's Great, Desi, Bradley Griffin,
[01:25:43] Tyler Pignero, Tim Roberts, Christopher Crosby,
[01:25:47] Terrence Branagh, Naow,
[01:25:51] Big Mike, Richard Housstein, Alistair Matthews,
[01:25:55] not Ryan C. Cress, Jack Shubat, Frank Reich,
[01:25:59] Michael Garcia CGF, Kurtz Fungus, Alex Presbo,
[01:26:04] Alan Wallace, Alex McAlvrey, Sammy D. Luke Myers,
[01:26:11] Ryan Kiro, Riley Croyel, Matthew Medlin,
[01:26:16] Jason Guadino, Daniel Cisneros,
[01:26:21] Petter N, David Caffee, Mike S. Drunk,
[01:26:26] Harper Marchman Jones, Michael Gainham, Sean,
[01:26:31] Austin Heath, Elijah Ebert, Chris, Stroll the Roll,
[01:26:36] Eric Sverkult, ABC, Ry, David, Michael Gerthquake Fuller,
[01:26:42] that's pretty good, Scott Sanciaga, Richard Nixon,
[01:26:45] Keegan Hudson, DM, Cernando's,
[01:26:50] John B. Jeff Tompkins, Eric Scanlon, Ryan Ebert,
[01:26:54] Matthew Riddle, Alec Love, Snorroos, Snorff,
[01:26:58] Brian Cantwell, Benjamin Cost, Adam Jacobson,
[01:27:01] Charlie Carr, Alex Lefrenery, Alex Mecch,
[01:27:06] Matt Schneer, Casey Hines, Nolan, Andy Woodcock,
[01:27:10] Ronan Murphy, Jake Harmon, Alex Casanova,
[01:27:13] Devin Davies, Ashley Gurl, Howie Mandel,
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[01:28:02] Trufus, Isaiah Negara, KPG211, Adam Laker,
[01:28:08] Phillip, Scott Hartman, Fox Trevling,
[01:28:12] Justin Kirkland, B.H., John Pope, Aaron Muse, Russell,
[01:28:17] Rockwell White, Steve, Ben Haefitz, Spencer Coates,
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[01:28:31] Sebastian Larson, huge pop, Andy Asil, Tom Durrenberger,
[01:28:36] Eric Kennedy, Shane Briggs, At Butt Planet, Chris Kalari,
[01:28:41] Gary Furlong John White, Adita Vijay,
[01:28:45] Peter Panay Frank, Ryan Gassner, Deep Dish Sex Ever,
[01:28:50] Alex Van Olden, Anthony Weaver, Susanna Coolidge,
[01:28:54] Andrew Shiva Machin, Joe White, Timmy Dixon,
[01:28:59] Drowsy Thunder, David Corn, Bill Fuller, NOPE,
[01:29:02] ERP-47, Christopher Prod, Corb Max Dickfield,
[01:29:09] Jeff Biot, Martin McNeish Logan, Dylan Nelken,
[01:29:14] Tyler Masterless, Shai, Nick Brianna,
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[01:29:50] Johann Krause, Steven, Alex Braifield,
[01:29:53] Matt Truslow, Bo Emerton, Daniel Stern, Mike W,
[01:29:58] Michael Levy, Cole Hager, Steve Moody, Emily Venerstrom,
[01:30:03] Uncut Zub, Adam Pearlstein, Plopadop,
[01:30:08] Malcolm Hines, Jeff Nune, Andy Cam,
[01:30:11] these nuts, Stuff Dave Maid, Dan, Patrick Tine,
[01:30:17] Kyle Dennis, Beevie, Will Tarantino, Rory,
[01:30:22] Michael Firestone, Dennis G. Faraz, Chris B. Nick Stark,
[01:30:28] Brian Eber, Gordon Hale, Alex, Adam Bevel, Adam,
[01:30:33] Thag Balls, Scott Daniels, Zajak, Rex Blank, Nate Leslie,
[01:30:40] Corey Soto, Eugene Tucker, Tim Smith, B.B.,
[01:30:42] Tyler Langoliss, Riley R. G. No, Matt Shambler,
[01:30:48] Josh Thomas, discount, come town,
[01:30:51] Carla Francisco, Alfred Holmgren, Oliver McKenzie,
[01:30:55] Matt Eaton, John W. Sexyhiller420,
[01:30:58] Casey Tyler, Jackson, Harry Jackson,
[01:31:01] John Rutherford Sean, Chappell Trappas,
[01:31:03] Bricks Wilson Hamlet, Harrison Frisk,
[01:31:07] Total, Allyshian, Rube, Johan, Patrick Merrill,
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[01:31:47] Evan Hangerty, Milk and Minnows, Chris Charles Sacks,
[01:31:52] Andrew Peladino, Young, Misa Gucci, Max Brown,
[01:31:56] thanks a lot.
[01:31:57] Thank you.