TAFS | Premium | 09/05/2022
[00:00:37] That was right around when people started laughing at 9-11, I feel.
[00:00:46] That's when the real edgy comics were like.
[00:00:51] I think that's when like regular folks were like, you see it funny.
[00:01:02] Everyone had a British accent back then.
[00:01:05] Everybody was Austin Powers, King of the World.
[00:01:08] Austin Powers II, despite the chagney that hits theaters.
[00:01:12] I don't like that British accent stuff.
[00:01:19] How did you tolerate those folks when you were there?
[00:01:28] You don't like, like, what about, I know exactly who you're talking about who says cheers.
[00:01:34] I don't like, there was, I was just in Columbus this week and there was a gay waiter and
[00:01:50] There was a guy when I worked at the, at the, he was a scouser.
[00:01:52] I worked at a call center and they did, they started doing the same.
[00:01:55] It was just technical support for like internet service providers.
[00:01:59] You could upsell people on like fucking like Norton or some shit at the end of the phone
[00:02:04] call and there was this mixed race guy.
[00:02:08] Or like a very light skinned black guy and he would call everybody love on the phone.
[00:02:12] And that guy, so we got paid like $10 an hour.
[00:02:16] And this guy fucking was making like an extra like $7,000 a month by just sweet talking
[00:02:23] You know, you need some antivirus on your campaign.
[00:02:26] I had to do, I had to do call center shit.
[00:02:31] I had to call to, I worked at a car dealership and was cold calling people to see if they
[00:02:38] Has cold calling ever worked for any industry?
[00:02:45] I would call and be like, Hey, we want, because it was a list of people that have bought
[00:02:49] So it wasn't totally cold calling, but it was still cold calling being like,
[00:02:53] We're buying back the 2014 camera you bought.
[00:02:59] I do call for the BSO, but that was like fundraising.
[00:03:35] I mean, I've told this story before, but one of the worst moments of my life was sitting
[00:03:42] And there was this guy Craig, who's one of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my
[00:03:47] But he was like, he was like an old school type of nerd.
[00:03:50] He was like a pre-Chris Hardwick type of nerd.
[00:04:14] You got one free show that you could go to the BSO if you worked there.
[00:04:18] And they brought the brochures out for what was coming out that season.
[00:04:20] And one of the things they had like George Takai, like fucking doing like Q&A.
[00:04:27] But they're like, you know, they hand me the brochure immediately goes in the garbage.
[00:04:30] I'm not going to the orchestra for anything, you know.
[00:04:34] But there were like the other like people in the call center, the little basement, you
[00:04:39] He's looking through the brochure and just he loudly goes, oh, George Takai!
[00:04:49] He's just a veins popping out from your forehead.
[00:05:00] Thanks for being an Adam Freeland show, by the way.
[00:05:07] Yeah, it's been really great watching guys grow.
[00:05:08] Your monologues are getting fucking tight, dude.
[00:05:12] We have something nice cooking from this weekend, but I don't think it's going to be ready
[00:05:22] Adam told me he shot 250 minutes worth of footage.
[00:05:36] He's probably got something in his voice.
[00:05:43] People love to know that somebody shot six and a half hours.
[00:05:45] Yeah, it's going to be a cinema, very today.
[00:05:48] It's going to be a cinema verite style.
[00:05:54] And we did it all on 35 millimeter film, so we had to continuously be changing the cassettes
[00:06:02] You know who does that is Terrence Malak.
[00:06:06] Yeah, there were a lot of like leaves and fingers running through tall grasses and stuff.
[00:06:11] Sun poking through like a forest canopy.
[00:06:16] There were a lot of that, you know, impressionistic style, malak style.
[00:06:31] Tree of Life, you ever see Tree of Life?
[00:06:33] No, I know who Terrence Malak is because he did a fucking Thin Red Line.
[00:06:39] Which is like, and he shoots like a ton of shit.
[00:06:40] Like, Thin Red Line, I think like has the most legendary list of actors who are cut out
[00:06:50] He cut George Clooney out of the movie.
[00:06:54] He gave George Clooney a line at the end of Thin Red Line.
[00:06:58] He basically, I think for a long time he was making a movie like every 18 years.
[00:07:03] And he was just like some psycho from Texas who like, you know, just...
[00:07:06] Tree of Life's like, isn't it about like, is there like dinosaurs in it?
[00:07:14] He tried to tell me on this before and they were like, yeah, there's a dinosaur in it.
[00:07:18] That dinosaur thing is the only weird part because it's like...
[00:07:20] It's just a guy remembering when he was younger.
[00:07:26] The fucking Thin Red Line dude, when the guy's dreaming about his girlfriend, he's like,
[00:07:44] It starts off, it's like the fucking...
[00:07:49] And it's like Chicago and fucking Richard Geer just works in a steel mill and he clocks
[00:08:00] And then yeah, so then they get him and the wife and...
[00:08:05] No, they're in a relationship and they pretend to be siblings, right?
[00:08:09] Isn't that that little girl that talked like this?
[00:08:15] And then Sam Shepard plays the guy that owns the house.
[00:08:26] Sam Shepard has a weird face or dead, I guess.
[00:08:37] There was like land that was no ones and then you just run and then you just say this
[00:08:40] is mine and the government's like, okay, now that's yours.
[00:08:44] Like a reverse Native American sort of thing.
[00:08:50] And then they're like, what do you mean people are saying?
[00:09:04] So yeah, basically I did shoot 250 minutes of Terence Malick's self footage this weekend.
[00:09:14] Are you questioning me publicly in front of our friends, the fans?
[00:09:19] I think it's kind of falling in line of the stuff we've done before.
[00:09:23] We're kind of breaking out a universe outside of the eventual thing that the show's going
[00:09:32] I don't think it's much of a departure from the cold open from last weekend.
[00:09:41] I mean, my idea is that I'm not going to cut anything.
[00:09:44] You know, it's just going to be like even the parts where I tell someone to say something.
[00:09:51] It seems like it was mostly you were like interviewing people.
[00:10:08] I'm just saying we worked on something this weekend.
[00:10:16] You think the rigid airships will ever come back.
[00:10:24] No, I don't think it was a very efficient means of...
[00:10:25] Yeah, it was what we wanted to talk about.
[00:10:26] It was actually an extremely efficient means of travel.
[00:10:32] You have to like follow the air streams or something?
[00:11:18] The Hindenburg was just like one blimp.
[00:11:32] Can you imagine how gay it would have been to be a gypsy that got Holocaust?
[00:11:42] Especially to be somehow to be a homosexual that wound up in one of the camps and then
[00:11:46] you see the guards in the commandant and you're like, come on.
[00:12:02] He's probably trying to give his hands on a yellow star.
[00:12:05] Then they put like pink stars on those...
[00:12:10] Wasn't there some like online thing recently?
[00:12:12] There was some like discourse about like somebody wearing a pink triangle during World
[00:12:17] War II to show solidarity or like to show gay pride.
[00:12:22] Somebody online, they were like, they showed trans pride by putting a pink triangle and
[00:12:26] somebody had to be like, no, those were victims.
[00:12:37] They weren't doing like fucking Bennegan's flair.
[00:12:45] I mean, it was just like, because the video was tight of the Hindenburg.
[00:12:54] It was a big deal that it was going to make it...
[00:13:08] So, the rigid airships made sense in the United States because we had helium.
[00:13:27] When you realize the scale of that thing and how quickly...
[00:13:36] Yeah, there was like 110 people on the floor.
[00:13:45] Even when they blow the fuck up, it's like still pretty safe.
[00:13:48] Yeah, there were 97 people on board and 35 died.
[00:13:59] James Cameron should have done Hindenburg instead of Titanic.
[00:14:05] Just getting fucked up off the gas and fucking Kate Winslet in the blimp area.
[00:14:11] Just the Irish people that live in the blimp area.
[00:14:31] They show you the steerage, and supposedly it's just Irish people doing black church down
[00:14:44] Yeah, if you lock poor people into a basement, good things.
[00:14:52] So, what else did you do this weekend, Adam?
[00:15:02] Wow, it looks really nice on the Hindenburg.
[00:15:24] Yeah, they had like a little baby grand piano.
[00:15:25] Did a modified grand piano because it was a regular one would be too heavy.
[00:15:31] They had to build it out if I think like a little bit of something.
[00:15:37] Well, you convinced me that I should bring them back.
[00:15:53] That's the thing that's crazy about the movie is it's somehow like both too frenetic and too
[00:15:58] It was the first CGI backgrounds the whole time.
[00:16:01] It was like anytime he has a crisis too, he's like, I got to go hang out with black people.
[00:16:09] It's time to go hang out with a couple of blacks.
[00:16:11] I like that it addressed the race stuff, though, because they were dragging my boy for way
[00:16:21] He was like thought he legitimately thought he was black.
[00:16:24] I maintain that black people stole more from Elvis and Elvis stole from black people.
[00:16:30] I mean, they should be thanking him legitimately.
[00:16:35] Because Elvis predates all that 1970s shit they were doing with the Elvis was a catalax.
[00:16:41] I mean, they're still doing this fucking steel.
[00:16:58] He's like the first guy who's saying queer.
[00:17:06] It followed the plot of Wal-Kart to a T.
[00:17:09] It's really funny that that was like his invention was just shaking his dick.
[00:17:16] I would be furious if I brought a girl to a show and he started shaking his dick.
[00:17:22] I told my dad I saw it and he was like, well, you probably didn't like it.
[00:17:24] Because you don't understand how important Elvis was.
[00:17:28] He's like, if you're not going into that perspective of how important Elvis was for people, mind
[00:17:39] You get into your later years and your brain just has to make any part of your life significant.
[00:17:46] When you have nothing, it's just like, well, at least I saw Elvis.
[00:17:54] There was also there was no buildup at all.
[00:17:55] There was no struggle in the beginning.
[00:18:00] And they're really, I don't, did I miss a bad part?
[00:18:09] Apparently that here comes Santa Claus stuff.
[00:18:14] I didn't get why they were talking about that so much.
[00:18:24] I watched the whole thing and I liked it.
[00:18:28] And it was just a music video the whole fucking time.
[00:18:30] I don't like when they bring modern music into like period pieces.
[00:18:38] It's like whenever he's like, he's like, I got to go to the busy.
[00:18:48] It's only when he's binging on black people.
[00:18:52] I mean, they really presented like a drug addiction.
[00:18:55] Like he used to be addicted to black people and then he got addicted to fucking real drugs
[00:19:05] Nixon might not have been in it, but famously Elvis was like an early spokesperson for the
[00:19:12] Meanwhile he was like, well, Nixon thought like he's like, I want to get me.
[00:19:20] No kids like one nostril inhales and the other exhales speaking.
[00:19:31] He's damn nincompoops doing these damn drugs.
[00:19:37] I always thought I was sucked my whole life.
[00:19:39] I always thought that shit was truly bad news.
[00:19:50] But I was I was in the movie in the beginning where I was like, damn, maybe Elvis is cool.
[00:19:57] Like I was laying there, but there was a part of me that was like, there's an eyebrow
[00:20:04] Elvis never wrote a single fucking song.
[00:20:10] There's a scene during the comeback special where it's a song that he wrote about how
[00:20:14] we need to bring the blacks and the whites together.
[00:20:25] He's going to fucking around with these guys.
[00:20:30] It'd be great if Elvis, I can set of blacks, he just got really into Chinese people.
[00:20:34] We are you ever hear about the Chinese exclusion act?
[00:20:44] All this music is written by like two Jewish guys, so little bit each other.
[00:20:50] I mean, Sinatra didn't really write songs.
[00:20:53] He did Sinatra, but a lot of people do standards.
[00:20:56] Sinatra's in a completely different category.
[00:21:01] But he did for Italians what Elvis did for blacks.
[00:21:05] You have no idea how meaningful it was for them.
[00:21:12] Sinatra, they make it pretty clear how meaning.
[00:21:21] They weren't going to put a black guy up there.
[00:21:24] He had to be the first guy to be kind of a black guy in show business.
[00:21:30] They didn't want to put Chuck Berry came after Elvis.
[00:21:35] They needed a white guy to do black music first.
[00:21:50] It's weird to think that Elvis inspired the Beatles.
[00:21:54] And then it's weird to think that the Beatles inspired everyone.
[00:21:58] It's like Cannibal Corpse will be like, well, we grew up listening to the Beatles.
[00:22:12] Fucking like fucking a demon baby with a sword.
[00:22:18] You ever get into those like Norwegian death metal bands?
[00:22:24] I know, obviously the music I don't like, but the stories are pretty awesome.
[00:22:32] One dude killed himself and they used it as the album cover and then it was that often
[00:22:38] they were like, then they started burning churches.
[00:22:52] There's some, there's some in my life, but yeah.
[00:22:54] The only metal I like is the shit I listened to when I was in high school.
[00:22:58] It's like the Rash metal or garbage like new metal.
[00:23:11] But that's, that's my, I'm going to be, I'm going to be 65.
[00:23:14] You can be telling someone how fucking POD was actually my Elvis.
[00:23:36] It's just like thinking about like going to Best Buy and being like, damn, what if I had
[00:23:49] I don't like it when you, I'm producing vape for you.
[00:24:04] What have, what have he, what have Boz Lerman did a documentary about the Tim Dillon Labor
[00:24:09] It's just Tommy Pope and I'm coming in.
[00:24:13] Just zooming in on Tommy Pope, he's sure to open.
[00:24:15] I'd say, but that's why we need to get him.
[00:24:29] And then you make fun of me and he goes, what?
[00:24:37] He came out to, me and the, the bros went to the Ohio State Notre Dame game.
[00:24:47] But they, right when they came on the field, these four dudes in front of us, I just started
[00:24:52] yelling at it was Safe Light Field because Ohio State plays on, the name of their field
[00:24:57] Their Safe Light repair, Safe Light Replace, Red Light Field.
[00:25:01] So I was like, whoo, Safe Light Field, baby.
[00:25:04] He's tried to fight us at the rest of the game.
[00:25:10] They insulted I was making fun of all the corporate.
[00:25:14] I'd be like, tough run brought to you by Kroger.
[00:25:17] I told this story before I was back when me and Seth Coughfield were actually friends.
[00:25:23] We went on a, for days to have a free brewery tour in Austin of like some local brewery.
[00:25:29] And I, we had shot some sketch the night before and I was in drag.
[00:25:38] And then he installed like hungover, still kind of drunk.
[00:25:40] And we're on the tour and the ladies, we're going to, this lady's doing the tour and she's
[00:25:45] She's like, well, this is a half a vison.
[00:25:47] So it has these notes and you know, like, I was dumb shit about beer.
[00:25:51] And then so me and Seth as like a joke, like to ourselves, we're not even making a lot
[00:25:55] We're like, oh, is anything like Bud Light?
[00:25:59] And there's this fucking guy with like a little like Guinness hat, like a Guinness Newsy
[00:26:04] hat with his dad dressed exactly the same as him and they're standing with their arms
[00:26:10] And at one point, this guy turns around and he's like, you mind shutting the fuck up.
[00:26:14] But ruining his brewery tour, his free brewery tour with his dad.
[00:26:22] An old woman in front of me during the game.
[00:26:28] And this old woman directly in front of us was like, she, but very old, like 80, then
[00:26:33] the lady that was with her was like, could you please keep it down?
[00:26:39] This is the loudest place I've ever been in my life.
[00:26:43] You guys are the poorest fucking sports of all time.
[00:26:45] I'd love to put a lady like that on the Hindenburg, you know, burner to death.
[00:26:57] Do you think the Hindenburg, the Hindenburg gave them the idea for the Holocaust?
[00:27:02] They're like, what if we just did that?
[00:27:22] They'll probably lose this big Clemson coming up.
[00:27:24] I know you guys are excited about Notre Dame Clemson.
[00:27:30] Fairly football draft about 10 minutes that I'm going to do during this.
[00:27:38] You guys got any tips on who do you want?
[00:27:40] I went full sober from fantasy like six years ago.
[00:27:47] Because you're watching like Cincinnati Jacksonville fourth quarter in a blowout and
[00:27:57] You're going to watch any sporting event and actually enjoy it.
[00:27:59] It just took and then we do this like I was playing with a bunch of guys and they had
[00:28:04] red zone and I went once with my friend to his like he had like investment banking
[00:28:11] friends and they would just they do blow and watch red zone like like one one.
[00:28:17] That sounds like the best fucking one PM.
[00:28:28] But wait, how much of that is just the cocaine though?
[00:28:32] No, but it's like you're watching NFL red zone.
[00:28:35] When you're watching NFL red zone, you're ready.
[00:28:37] Feel like you're on coke because you can't pay attention to anything.
[00:28:42] Whoever's in the red zone, it cuts to that game.
[00:28:44] And there's like 12 games happening at once or something.
[00:28:47] And then they have just like multiple screens going on.
[00:28:53] It's like your brain is like so frenetic and then they're like adding cocaine.
[00:28:58] Yeah, it was just like some of the worst nights I was due to like I'd have a Sunday offer
[00:29:04] whatever from stand up and I'd be like nice.
[00:29:07] Then you stayed a bar for the late games.
[00:29:09] And then there's the yeah, I mean, it's just one o'clock four o'clock and then there's
[00:29:13] And you know, next thing you know, you've clocked 12 hours.
[00:29:24] I'm thinking some other dumb questions.
[00:29:26] What's the point of the Chinese takeout boxes, the ones everybody loved, the little lantern
[00:29:32] I've been working on a theory now that like the indicate the number one indicator, number
[00:29:36] one metric to determine Chinese antagonism towards the West and their position is fully
[00:29:44] reflected in the state of takeout Chinese food in the United States.
[00:29:50] When was last time you got a fortune cookie with your meal?
[00:29:54] Two weeks ago, two weeks ago, they gave us two minutes to make.
[00:29:56] Are you claiming that they don't exist anymore?
[00:30:02] I haven't gotten a fortune cookie in forever.
[00:30:05] Have you been ordering from the same place?
[00:30:08] It might have just been like when I started.
[00:30:14] Maybe it's maybe it's because most of the Chinese places in Brooklyn are actually just
[00:30:21] Dominican people that figured out how to make.
[00:30:24] I think they're mostly Chinese people selling to black people.
[00:30:27] There was one place they used to order from that was like Carradad Chinese.
[00:30:34] Yeah, they would have, you get like general sales chicken and fucking plantain.
[00:30:40] You used to order from that place all the time.
[00:30:55] I'm reading a book about pirates right now.
[00:31:06] But it's about like, I just didn't know how much like New York was a hub for pirates.
[00:31:18] They do the ships and go to the fucking Indian Ocean and rob the Google Empire because
[00:31:23] They waited until they found out they were all going on.
[00:31:29] We're about to go fucking knock over some moogs.
[00:31:36] Didn't they have to like go over the average?
[00:31:44] They had to break up the white slave trade.
[00:31:47] But you know, we don't talk about that.
[00:32:09] When was the last time you watched master in command?
[00:32:24] I mean, it actually is kind of because of China.
[00:32:44] Yeah, the beginning of master in command there is probably the best.
[00:32:54] It gives you that background on Napoleon.
[00:33:00] Well, that's sick because I won the league last year, but.
[00:33:08] Is first round strategy still you take a running back?
[00:33:11] But now I'm not going to be able to get a cool running back.
[00:33:21] I forget if it is a PPR, but master commander is the best.
[00:33:29] Yeah, we're talking about James Cameron's fucking Hindenburg movie.
[00:33:39] That's the biggest movie franchise in the world.
[00:33:42] The Pirates Pirates the Caribbean movie.
[00:33:45] Which Amber fucking what's her con took that away from us.
[00:33:48] Amber tried to take it away, but it's back.
[00:33:52] It's funny how like no matter how bad a lady like that fucks up, you can still write an
[00:33:58] article in the Atlantic and be like, no, he raped her.
[00:34:04] And if you agree with the jury, you're a misogynist.
[00:34:09] I guess there are people like psychos on Twitter being like, actually, he's an abuser, but
[00:34:14] I feel like most even girls that I knew were like, oh, she's a dumb bitch.
[00:34:19] I wasn't I didn't I don't think I've ever talked to anyone that was team Amber.
[00:34:25] I guess and in the media, they're probably just Chinese soldiers and like a like a thing
[00:34:30] of like a fucking is a Chinese military good.
[00:34:39] They're the kilnus and the commercials.
[00:34:40] The commercials are good ones too though.
[00:34:44] Have you ever seen that comparison video?
[00:34:48] R's is and then ours, which is like a girl turning into a cartoon.
[00:34:50] Yeah, she's like, I couldn't wait to get my penis cut off and be a girl in the army.
[00:34:58] Before I left my girlfriend was watching the new Lord of the Rings.
[00:35:29] I liked them when I was a kid when they came out.
[00:35:32] I thought I was like, I'm going to make an effort to like this.
[00:35:36] I don't think I've ever finished a single one.
[00:35:46] How are the peanut butter pretzels, Adam?
[00:35:52] No, they don't like when we eat on the microphone.
[00:35:59] Trader Joe's peanut butter, peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets.
[00:36:06] We got a Trader Joe's right next to the studio.
[00:36:13] Yeah, I guess you guys are in Manhattan, right?
[00:36:20] But you can't, you can't get a bath in me on.
[00:36:23] You can't actually buy anything in Manhattan.
[00:36:35] You can't go to a store and get something.
[00:36:40] Oh, you can still get some at the table.
[00:36:42] But like at the fucking home depot by here, they don't have wood.
[00:37:06] No, no, I've, he's been, he's been making a 250 what?
[00:37:10] If the Adam Freeland show broke off, that'd be pretty funny.
[00:37:13] The Adam Freeland show will never break up.
[00:37:15] It'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll be pretty.
[00:37:22] I guarantee you this thing, Peter's out.
[00:37:34] This episode's probably not going to be great.
[00:37:44] It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's.
[00:37:51] It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's.
[00:38:01] We're just going to keep doing this and see, see what.
[00:38:02] Number one, Jonathan Taylor got picked up.
[00:38:08] He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's got to be in like super therapy right
[00:38:18] He's also one of those guys who I think is like five, four or two.
[00:38:23] I think it's, I think it's, I think you know what's probably a bigger issue being repeatedly
[00:38:34] I'm in the five, four isn't making it any easier.
[00:38:37] It was actually a coded threat to his co-stars.
[00:38:40] A lot of people don't know that, but that's how it started on the show when, when they
[00:38:45] You could see it in their eyes that he's been raping them for an entire week.
[00:38:50] And then it looks like they're about to say something to the studio audience and he would
[00:38:54] go, and they would remember Wilson had a glory hole out there.
[00:39:01] It would have been a better bit if only his penis and balls came through.
[00:39:14] It's like, well, Tim, I was actually listening to an audio book about pirates recently.
[00:39:22] And you know, when they ended white slavery, Tim's like, Tim's later talking to Jill and
[00:39:29] He's like, look, I know Randy got molested at school by me.
[00:39:38] I molested him in school, but it's kind of like the Barbary pirates.
[00:39:47] And then that's a classic bit where he just, he misquotes Wilson's penis and explaining
[00:39:53] why it's okay that he molested Jonathan Taylor.
[00:40:00] I just, that's what, that's what Wilson would do.
[00:40:02] He'd always be like, well, Tim, when fucking Archimedes discovered.
[00:40:09] And that reflected, like I guess Tim Allen, probably like, like majored in philosophy
[00:40:15] or something in undergrad before he went to prison for selling cocaine.
[00:40:20] And that's where he picked up the trade as they call it.
[00:40:25] He's a snitch, but he's also a pedophile.
[00:40:29] And did you see his, who were friends in prison?
[00:40:39] And that's how he got into acting because he met a couple of accolades of Martin Sheen
[00:40:47] Martin Sheen, who introduced pedophilia to Hollywood.
[00:40:56] Martin Sheen stole being a pedophile from black people.
[00:41:15] I mean, Cooper Cup just left the board.
[00:41:21] So they, so wide receivers now go first round.
[00:41:28] My big board, I'm sitting in Najee Harris.
[00:41:39] Marchese, he went to college with Burrow, right?
[00:41:42] Yeah, you know those boys are having fun.
[00:41:52] I don't think the bucket hat ever went away.
[00:41:53] It sort of drifted through different subcultures.
[00:42:00] He would pull out of his dick was on the top of his head.
[00:42:09] Those actually where the Donninger cap started is, a lot of people know this, but men used
[00:42:15] to have another penis on top of their heads.
[00:42:18] And that's why men had to wear a hat up until the 60s.
[00:42:22] And that was sort of bred out of humanity.
[00:42:26] And you would go evening and you would show your penis to a woman.
[00:42:30] And Abraham Lincoln, biggest dick of all time.
[00:42:38] Well, he would famously, he would go to Ford's theater and he would take his hat off and
[00:42:42] He would suck the dick on top of his leg, like a beer helmet.
[00:42:47] He could have dicked on top of his leg.
[00:42:55] John Mogg's booth was like, that's disgusting.
[00:43:10] I have no idea what's going on, but this is perfect energy.
[00:43:14] Just sit up here in the panda where I'm stuck.
[00:43:22] Well, I got a whole stack of Dave and Buster's power cards at home that I forgot about.
[00:43:27] I'm like, we were supposed to go to Dave and Buster's last.
[00:43:35] That's how I actually got started doing this.
[00:43:37] I started doing stand-up again because I didn't do stand-up for years and then I went
[00:43:41] to Dave and Buster's in November and fucking...
[00:43:45] Some guy was getting arrested at the door and there was like...
[00:43:50] I went there with my ex-girlfriend and we show up and there was literally one group of black
[00:43:54] people we saw and she turns to me and she goes, is Dave and Buster's ghetto?
[00:44:04] Don't you live in bedside with his Dave and Buster's ghetto?
[00:44:07] Yeah, he did his Dave and Buster's ghetto.
[00:44:10] But yeah, that guy was getting arrested and screaming at the cops.
[00:44:13] Like aggressively telling them he was homeless.
[00:44:21] He was like going nuts and then I was like, okay, maybe we'll bail on Dave and Buster's
[00:44:36] And then we're seeing was like, you always talk about it like you're not allowed to do
[00:44:44] You did talk about that honestly for years.
[00:44:47] Yeah, like the government had commanded you never to go up again.
[00:44:51] No, it's just you know you like restrict things from yourself.
[00:45:00] You have to make up other things that don't exist or you don't have.
[00:45:05] No, you'd be like, oh, if only I had this and now I'm making enough money that I can
[00:45:10] have almost anything but I have to sit around just being depressed so we don't have fucking
[00:45:15] I got Devontae Adams and DeAndre Swift.
[00:45:25] I wonder if him and Derek Cara are going to Joe.
[00:45:39] That's what I like about all the players.
[00:45:46] I like the team and I want everybody to like them.
[00:45:54] Do any of them ever get cool shoes and maybe start doing crowd work videos?
[00:46:26] No, I don't want to talk about sports too much.
[00:46:30] Do whatever the fuck I don't know if the guy Adam is free.
[00:46:37] When he was on that team, him and Joelle loved each other.
[00:46:43] And imagine if they kept that together.
[00:46:48] Yeah, I like when the players on the team, I like our friends.
[00:46:54] Someone got a real mad at me for his shitting on Heat 2 this weekend.
[00:47:01] I was like, what's another book you've read this year?
[00:47:19] If Heat 2 was the other book with blood Meridian.
[00:47:26] As soon as he said, he was friends with Nunn.
[00:47:28] Which if you're a listener of the show, John Nunn is the guy whose ass was in Adam's.
[00:47:32] Yeah, we didn't credit him in the credits of the episode.
[00:47:42] Yeah, I put my ass out on almost every episode.
[00:47:44] And then I had a, and then he had to have his board because he has a woman's ass.
[00:47:59] And then their body looks like shit and they fucking, they just have like this.
[00:48:03] I mean, I think I would say like no, no, they've never done any.
[00:48:08] You know, I wouldn't say I have a nice ass in that way.
[00:48:11] His ass looks like he like literally cannot, he has like zero vertical inches.
[00:48:30] It literally looks if I'm naked with my legs to get my, it looks like an arrow pointing
[00:48:34] down because the one shot this sketch where I was.
[00:48:44] Looks like an arrow pointing to my sack.
[00:48:48] It'll be funny if we get this, you get to show me this.
[00:48:51] Finally, show me the 250 minutes of food.
[00:48:53] Why are you fucking shitting on it before they've even seen it?
[00:48:56] They're going to copy you because they all want to be you.
[00:48:58] I'm literally like you're shitting on it and they're all going to be like, this is gay.
[00:49:04] I'm not proud of you for applying yourself and trying something new.
[00:49:12] I said it would be funny if it was 250 minutes of your ass.
[00:49:19] I was being a little too sensitive and I apologize.
[00:49:22] Were you guys speaking of all sorts of cigarettes in here?
[00:49:45] The 250 minutes isn't done because we have to be selfish at the end.
[00:49:49] But we shouldn't even tell them about this production.
[00:50:02] The guy farted pretty close to right before the Hennenberg exploded.
[00:50:24] He's like, dude, it's like a blow up if I fart.
[00:50:32] A man who took 47 minutes to get the only joke on this show.
[00:50:39] No, I think you eat nothing but how dog was also really good.
[00:51:21] So Aziza and Sarri's got a new special coming out.
[00:51:36] And he's like, yeah, I got fucking AIDS from fucking dick.
[00:52:08] Don't lie on my eyes on her audio format.
[00:52:26] There's like some crazy bitch that gets mad at their dog.
[00:52:30] Yeah, she's like squeezing it back into the tube.
[00:52:46] I thought you always talk about how much you love Philadelphia.
[00:52:59] Stop mentioning that because stop did the DC improv some more recently.
[00:53:01] I don't know if he said it on the show or off about just like, you know, because we started
[00:53:08] You have this memory of the DC improv being like fucking unreal.
[00:53:14] And he went back and was like, yeah, it is.
[00:53:18] I heard the DC improv is there with comedy works and demos.
[00:53:32] And the front row is just on the stage.
[00:53:42] People love hearing about rooms and acoustics.
[00:53:51] Well, the setup is just, you know, it's deep.
[00:53:58] Other than DC, which I think kept somebody else's room, but DC improv or improv is, I just
[00:54:01] did the, no, it was a funny bone, but it looked like a fucking improv tall stage, big
[00:54:07] Well, because the DC improv is like a true 1980s fucking comedy club and the 80, that
[00:54:11] was the best decade for stand up really.
[00:54:19] Do you always just fucking, what if this was the show?
[00:54:23] What if this was the Adam Freedom Show, like the film show where you're, aren't we doing
[00:54:32] Well, you're the, aren't you supposed to be like the fucking, aren't you Jimmy Fallon?
[00:54:37] Shane, I heard you got engaged in Hawaii.
[00:54:44] That's what you're supposed to do, right?
[00:54:46] No, I think you might have said that to Soder.
[00:54:47] I think I said, you got engaged in my girlfriend was like, I got engaged and I was like, oh
[00:54:52] I was like, yo, you got a fucking engagement.
[00:54:56] Oh, so you, um, they lost your luggage.
[00:54:58] Adam will say, Adam will say something in, in one context.
[00:55:02] And then he'll forget the context and say it again.
[00:55:12] I was like, they say like, you know, remember the punch line to a joke, but not to set up.
[00:55:16] You're gonna be like, so Shane, aren't you glad I didn't say banana?
[00:55:21] Tomorrow is just like, you eat nothing but hound dogs.
[00:55:38] I don't even know who I'm thinking about getting.
[00:55:48] How about we do the monologue at the end of the episode?
[00:56:11] So, disease on Zari's back in the news.
[00:56:20] It looks like Harry Styles kissed comedian Nick Croll.
[00:56:26] Harry Styles, that's an interesting name for a white man.
[00:56:28] You think it would be an Indian man with a name like that?
[00:56:42] No, Harry Styles kissed comedian Nick Croll.
[00:56:51] The comedian Nick Croll kissed Harry Styles.
[00:56:57] Yeah, I ran into Nick Croll for some reason at three consecutive parties, like a week before.
[00:57:11] And every time I saw him, I was hammered and I'd go up to him and be like, yo,
[00:57:15] Pennsylvania is just like the best schedule.
[00:57:20] But then I would just hit him with the accent for 20 minutes.
[00:57:26] Every part, because especially the one was like the Ushappelle party.
[00:57:31] So I like, he had to have seen me and be like, great, here comes this fucking retard.
[00:57:35] I just go over like, yo, it's two slick decks from 76.
[00:57:44] Boy 17 run over in NYC after falling off the top of a parked trailer.
[00:57:50] A 17 year old boy was killed in a freak mishap in the Bronx early on on day.
[00:57:57] Usually boys are killed in a trailer park.
[00:58:02] He fell off of it and then immediately got run over by another truck.
[00:58:08] Well, I guess 18 wheelers, I guess that's a tough boy.
[00:58:17] I tell you, that story really gives me a semi.
[00:58:24] This kid was standing on top of a trailer.
[00:58:30] He was standing in the back of the truck.
[00:58:31] 18 wheeler and he fell off and then immediately was run over by another truck.
[00:58:36] An 18 year old man has unleashed, this is a new one.
[00:58:39] An 18 year old man has unleashed a fiery vulgar tirade against two journalists after he allegedly
[00:58:44] robbed a Queensland, Australia service station with a machete.
[00:58:49] The teen, he was in the, yeah, in the gold coast.
[00:58:57] He said, fuck you, seven news, fuck you, nine news.
[00:59:03] The labrador, he's from a town called Labrador, those people are idiots.
[00:59:09] He was arrested and charged by the police after allegedly robbing the Puma Night Owl
[00:59:14] service station on government road while armed with a machete.
[00:59:18] How did this become international news?
[00:59:22] And he said, fuck you to the news while robbing.
[00:59:25] I guess he went on the news and then said, fuck you.
[00:59:30] And then when he was asked by a recorder, reporters, if he would be fighting the charges,
[00:59:40] Let's see why this made it across the whole body.
[00:59:44] And then he said, round two, let's go give me the mic.
[00:59:47] He said, I didn't rob that store, so you guys can go jam it up your ass.
[00:59:52] I remember walking home and I got arrested for some bullshit.
[01:00:00] Why would I rob a store and then walk through the park and walk back to the place I just
[01:00:10] Shout out Australian teenager that robbed whatever.
[01:00:18] Yeah, she's like, do you have anything to say to your parents?
[01:00:30] Yeah, they're like, aren't you a shame?
[01:00:31] Aren't you sad about what people are going to say about you?
[01:00:38] Indiana child porn suspect tied to Delphi murders soliciting sexual favors from prison.
[01:00:50] I'm sorry, Indiana man down with a child pornography.
[01:01:02] A suspect accused of possessing child pornography who was tied to the 2017 murders of two teenage
[01:01:08] girls in Delphi, Indiana, has been soliciting sexual favors from women who write him in
[01:01:15] What women are fighting writing a fucking-
[01:01:31] In addition to wanting money, the women have been contacting him, but he's been trying to
[01:01:37] exploit them sexually and really give them information about the case.
[01:01:43] These women have gotten into his case because they love fucking true crime because they're
[01:01:49] And now because they're trying to get more information, he's trying to get a little bit
[01:01:52] of pussy off of them, which is kind of funny.
[01:01:56] There's particularly striking exchange where a young woman was asking about the case and
[01:02:02] And he responded very quickly by turning it into a sexual conversation.
[01:02:13] The prisoner responded to the woman with a party.
[01:02:17] She's like, yeah, I was just wondering, I heard on a podcast about your case.
[01:02:20] I was just wondering and he's like, can I see your tits, please?
[01:02:26] Hillary Clinton says suggestive, upskirt photos prompted her to start wearing pantsuits.
[01:02:32] That's the reason she picked up her signature look is because people kept trying to look
[01:02:47] Well, considering that- Have you been seeing this?
[01:02:57] He's like, I'm going to pop off one last time now.
[01:02:59] It's just a cover up fucking Joe Biden, dude.
[01:03:08] Everyone thought like you look at Joe Biden and they're like, actually, you're a guy's
[01:03:17] The guy who's in like hockey tournament.
[01:03:19] Not our president who's made out of fucking eyelids.
[01:03:25] Dude, fucking, what was he going to say?
[01:03:34] And Oklahoma news anchor suffered a stroke live on television.
[01:03:40] Well, we can do something with the Hillary Clinton thing.
[01:03:48] She's wearing pants suits because people were taking pictures of her pussy.
[01:03:52] So if she really wants to keep her disgusting whole out of sight, maybe that's why she's
[01:04:09] What type of clothes should she be wearing?
[01:04:11] Well, you guys are like, this is center left, right?
[01:04:17] You'd be like, I'd like to go on Amazon and order some kilts for Hillary Clinton.
[01:04:22] And then the crowd would go, the crowd would go, whoo.
[01:04:27] And then you're all like, she is beautiful.
[01:04:34] I mean, I know it's not center left, but apparently she had to start wearing pants
[01:04:37] suits because of constant up-skirt photography being taken.
[01:04:41] You know what I'd like to see her wearing, folks?
[01:04:50] If we actually, if Trump actually followed through on his promises.
[01:04:54] In a new interview with Norah O'Donnell for CBS Sunday morning, alongside her daughter
[01:05:00] Oh, so she did this interview with Chelsea sitting there, her daughter.
[01:05:03] And she's like, people kept looking at my pussy.
[01:05:10] Probably to see where Chelsea came from, right?
[01:05:21] She switched up her style after visiting Brazil on a stage visit in 1985.
[01:05:27] Clinton wore a cream skirt during her visit in which photographers shot her from below.
[01:05:31] So it's not the American press doing that.
[01:05:44] Brazil is really like, it's a real like counter argument to the Tiger Woods argument, which
[01:05:51] is like, if everyone has babies, everyone, everyone looks like Tiger Woods, then like
[01:05:57] Because like, that's basically what happened in Brazil.
[01:06:09] They just are racist towards the darker skin.
[01:06:18] All of a sudden the White House gets alerted to these billboards that show me sitting down.
[01:06:21] I thought my legs were together, but the way it's shot, it's sort of suggested.
[01:06:24] I think Hillary's trying to get that picture out there.
[01:06:28] I think she's trying to be like, there's a really nice pick of my pus.
[01:06:35] Broken to share her thoughts on the photographer behavior.
[01:06:42] Maybe the headline if my boy Trump was still in there.
[01:06:46] Let's see some of the photos from Jeffrey Epstein's Island.
[01:06:51] In the interest of good taste and good sense, we have no comment.
[01:06:56] Well, I think we got this probably a joke in there somewhere.
[01:06:59] And one of the things we said, there's something that sounds like a monologue joke.
[01:07:06] People are taking suggestive photo- Hillary Clinton changed her wardrobe after people were
[01:07:13] What's the suggestion that she should kill herself?
[01:07:19] Maybe we should suggest that she kills herself instead.
[01:07:45] Report drunk Russian soldiers in Curson fired assault rifles at FSB officers in deadly
[01:07:59] Does anyone know what's happening in Ukraine at all?
[01:08:05] I've had a lot of it for like four days.
[01:08:12] I mean, they're losing like hundreds of feet a day in either direction.
[01:08:20] But it'll probably just end with Russia annexing even more of Ukraine.
[01:08:29] The warfare, I don't understand it at all.
[01:08:33] Like, how are they fighting 100 feet at a time?
[01:08:40] But with today's weapons, that should not happen.
[01:08:44] You should be able to blow up a trench pretty easily.
[01:08:48] They're like not really gaining much ground.
[01:08:49] That's why World War II didn't do that.
[01:08:52] Because even in the fucking 40s, they were like, we can just blow that up.
[01:08:55] I just saw an interactive map of like, nothing's really changed though.
[01:09:05] Three things everyone should know about the inflate.
[01:09:11] That was the gayest thing in the world when everybody had the worst.
[01:09:14] That's the worst of all of the flag things.
[01:09:18] Of all the Instagram squares is Ukraine.
[01:09:20] Do you remember the France flag thing after the...
[01:09:24] No, the Bata Klond, the terrorist thing.
[01:09:29] They're still hanging on to that Ukraine thing.
[01:09:32] Like, because once you hang a flag up, it's tough to take it down.
[01:09:37] There's still Ukraine flags all over New York.
[01:09:40] And every Russian business in New York, like Russian restaurant or whatever, has a Ukraine
[01:09:45] flag up to be like, we're actually not Russian.
[01:09:55] Mike Pompeo also targeted a alleged Iranian assassination plot against John Bolton.
[01:10:03] Dude, John Bolton has been trying to go to war with Iran for like 25 years.
[01:10:10] That was the best thing Trump ever said when he's like, oh, I know what Bolton's answer
[01:10:17] Dude, that honestly, no one gives Trump enough credit for that.
[01:10:23] They tried to make him go to war with Iran so hard.
[01:10:27] And Trump was like, no, no, I'm not into it.
[01:10:36] Remember when our president was pretty fun?
[01:10:53] This is the first time he was took you.
[01:11:03] I was just thinking this moment of dead air taking it elongated.
[01:11:23] They accidentally kill Hillary Clinton as well.
[01:11:31] New polls show Democrats could win the 2022 midterms.
[01:11:36] No, you shouldn't because the elections are fake.
[01:11:41] The return of Rasput pizza and what it means for Russia's war in Ukraine.
[01:11:47] For centuries, Russia has depended on its harsh winter weather to help turn back invaders.
[01:11:52] But as some returns to fall in Ukraine, it might be Russian forces who find themselves
[01:11:56] on the losing side of the Rasput pizza.
[01:11:59] The wet muddy period caused by melting snow in the spring and heavy rains in autumn.
[01:12:05] This is like out of New York post headline.
[01:12:11] Creep wearing rude in parentheses shorts tries to rape a woman in NYC apartment.
[01:12:18] And it says, a creep wearing shorts and blazin butt with the word rude tried to rape a woman
[01:12:27] The per fall to 53 year old woman into the building on the ground.
[01:12:31] Maybe if they had said polite on him, she would have thought it was consensual.
[01:12:38] It's funny they're afraid to talk about race anymore, but they'll just be like, he was
[01:12:44] wearing pants that said rude on the wall.
[01:12:55] There used to be this Booker in DC who had this like, it was all written in Comic Sans,
[01:13:00] but it was like a 20 page like, Shackleford.
[01:13:06] Do you remember his, I remember seeing males and shit?
[01:13:10] His rules like no jerseys exposed underpants.
[01:13:40] I had one set that went well for me at the time and he came over and was like, that was
[01:13:51] He's like, I want you to know, you've got a round face.
[01:14:02] My favorite thing about Kirk Massacre is Kirk Shackleford is he had.
[01:14:07] You always had like a rotating carousel of just mentally ill, middle aged women that
[01:14:16] like with one eyebrow or like eyelid shut kind of just dizzy.
[01:14:28] There's a way to use to bring our daughter.
[01:14:30] I used to always think it was his wife or something,
[01:14:32] but then I found out that they were a different lady.
[01:14:34] I always also thought because he wore this shirt and the tie.
[01:14:37] Yeah, he wore that shirt and that silver tie.
[01:14:40] I got it in my head that he was an attorney.
[01:14:42] Like he was a guy that made like a lot of money.
[01:14:46] And then somebody was like, no, he's a janitor.
[01:14:53] Dude, I, one of the most fun nights I ever had in comedy
[01:14:58] was because of him because he booked me to feature at laugh riot
[01:15:07] I was for a, I only did that, I only did that room two times.
[01:15:09] Remember how you saw Tony Woods was headlining?
[01:15:15] He's like, what you know about grand marnie and I was like,
[01:15:20] It was like an, it's an orange liqueur.
[01:15:24] Hyatt, the laugh right at the Hyatt is the birthplace
[01:15:29] Dan Nine was like kind of just a guy, just a freak
[01:15:33] But he hosted there and Joe Robinson like featured or something.
[01:15:38] And Joe Robinson talked to him after the show.
[01:15:41] And Dan Nine is like, yeah, I mixed $300,000 a year
[01:15:45] And so Joe was like, well, this guy's a liar idiot.
[01:15:49] So I'm going to talk to me as much as possible.
[01:15:51] And then Joe did like, Joe did, back when they were doing
[01:15:55] like either three guys on or something or whatever.
[01:15:58] I can't remember if he was even on that.
[01:15:59] No, three guys on was him and Andy and Randall.
[01:16:17] And Joe was like, yeah, this guy's saying he's making $300,000.
[01:16:20] And it's like, well, then why are you here?
[01:16:22] And laugh right up in Bethesda getting paid $10 to host.
[01:16:29] And I was like, so Joe was making fun of him.
[01:16:32] And that's where he started the, you know.
[01:16:37] They, they, Nine became like a guy, the stair.
[01:16:42] Yeah, the emails he sent me were amazing.
[01:16:44] But did he send you the video of him rollerblading?
[01:16:50] And Dan Nine, I was on his, like you get on his radar,
[01:16:55] And he'll just, he adds you to like a hate list.
[01:17:04] And he's saying, he's like, I did a dentist's daughter's
[01:17:10] Maybe talking about his like swing face.
[01:17:13] He sent me a video one time to prove how cool he is.
[01:17:16] He sent me a video of him rollerblading downstairs backwards.
[01:17:21] Like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
[01:17:29] He sent me a video of him playing violin.
[01:17:48] But then his enemies list was wild because it was like me,
[01:17:51] But it was like Joe Robinson is just, you know,
[01:18:05] JL also did like, you can't really engage with like,
[01:18:08] You can't be like what's wrong with you.
[01:18:11] Like Joe Robinson, Joe Robinson used to do with the Tom Myers.
[01:18:13] He'd be like, Tom, you're a fucking terrible comedian.
[01:18:19] One of the funniest things I've ever heard of Joe Robinson on 98 Rock on Mickey and
[01:18:25] And it was when they were in the afternoon drive slot and fucking Mickey knew Tom because
[01:18:30] Tom worked at the 7-Eleven where Mickey would buy ice cream on the way.
[01:18:39] He's like, hey, I'm actually a comedian, by the way.
[01:18:42] You know, like he told Mickey and then Mickey, like anybody, becomes fascinated with Tom,
[01:18:48] And like Joe would publicly criticize Tom.
[01:18:51] And so they had Tom on the radio and then they had Joe Robinson call in like while Tom
[01:18:56] was on the radio and then Joe was just like fucking with him the entire time.
[01:19:02] I think there was a YouTube video of Mickey fucking with him in the Goobies.
[01:19:08] That was when the movie just tried to set the record for like longest comedy show.
[01:19:14] They're just letting whoever go up just like a continuous show.
[01:19:21] That's going to put Timonium Maryland on the map.
[01:19:28] They should be shiggered for that one too.
[01:19:34] Great whites probably the best, that's the worst one, right?
[01:19:51] And like it's just like 30 seconds to show the back.
[01:19:55] And then there's a guy that just, there's a guy like pre-iPhone days.
[01:20:02] Just do it like filming people burning the death.
[01:20:05] And then he's like just stepping over glass.
[01:20:17] With a camera that probably weighs like 45 pounds too.
[01:20:23] I thought I thought you said fireworks factory.
[01:20:28] But yeah, the pyrotechnics went off and I think it went up like immediately, right?
[01:20:57] Yeah, telling his family they're like, no, that's a part of the hand.
[01:21:01] Well, the hand of the very, that was me.
[01:21:13] Wow, this was only the fourth deadliest fire at a nightclub in history.
[01:21:20] You know how like doors they have like the, they call panic bars where you just press
[01:21:27] That's where those come from is because they used to build theaters up until like the 1920s
[01:21:32] with doorknobs and there were theater fires and it's like smoky and people couldn't find
[01:21:36] the doorknob and like a thousand people would die.
[01:21:42] It's very funny to be like, yeah, we're going out to the theater tonight to watch the candle
[01:21:46] show and then they would lock everyone in.
[01:21:50] Yeah, I think about that a lot at comedy clubs.
[01:21:52] I think about like, it's like, dude, there's a fire at all.
[01:21:54] You know which one is really the fucking like the skyline in Appleton, Wisconsin?
[01:22:00] I've done the third floor and then it's you have to take, they have to like bring everybody
[01:22:07] Give everyone a thousand drinks paper menus and every table.
[01:22:13] It's an elevator and then they have like one small stairwell.
[01:22:16] But yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, it's like an old paper factory too.
[01:22:24] There's a massive fire in New York when we like around the time we first moved here and
[01:22:29] like on the Williamsburg waterfront, I think.
[01:22:37] These folks, these folks trying to cover their tracks.
[01:22:46] It was like, it was at a sugar factory.
[01:22:50] There was like a six or like what's the top one?
[01:22:56] I don't think it was at the factory, but I remember when that happened.
[01:22:59] It was like, yeah, some shady real estate thing.
[01:23:01] The big thing was that building exploding on second half.
[01:23:15] I met someone who lived in that building who wasn't home, but his dog died.
[01:23:25] For real, a building exploding if people were in it.
[01:23:34] I met some guy who was like, yeah, I lived in that building.
[01:23:50] It was cool because like it fucked up like all the cars on the street and they just
[01:23:53] towed them to another block and there was like a block near Cooper Union where they
[01:23:59] just had like just like, you know, it looked like a dinosaur fucking like chewed on the
[01:24:10] That was around the time we moved here.
[01:24:18] So you want to just finish writing the monologue real quick.
[01:24:27] They love talking about when they get snubbed and flubbed.
[01:24:42] Oh, the people are claiming that there's a video of Marjorie Taylor Greene auditioning
[01:24:55] After the Trump administration it became fake.
[01:24:59] And then you'd read the article and they'd be like, technically it is true.
[01:25:07] There's pictures of him fucking his niece.
[01:25:17] But that's- We don't know if it's the niece.
[01:25:20] What is- He could have just been soaking.
[01:25:25] You hit- Yes, there is a photograph of his penis completely inserted into his 14-year-old
[01:25:33] But without thrusting, you can't say- Why was he on the board?
[01:25:46] Yeah, it's because it's like, I mean, it's clear what it is.
[01:25:50] It's like they give this crackhead a fake fucking job.
[01:25:53] Yeah, how come what are you- The saddest part about Hunter Biden, I mean, I've said this
[01:25:57] He's like, as a human being, you kind of have to feel bad for him because he's like,
[01:26:01] you know, the guy didn't have a fucking shot.
[01:26:03] I mean, I guess he did, you know, but he gets set up with these fake jobs, but then
[01:26:13] Like, he uses all the money he makes to like pay Joe Biden's phone bills.
[01:26:19] He's just gets like, all the money just goes back to Joe Biden.
[01:26:23] He's like, hey, I need a new, I want one of those new TVs.
[01:26:31] You can keep the leftovers and spend it on crack.
[01:26:34] So this girl was on the show Boy Meets World and she's writing a book about how they made
[01:26:48] I think she became a porn star after that.
[01:26:51] So she got the old Tim Allen treatment on Blendings World.
[01:26:55] Yeah, Mr. Feeney made her take her clothes off.
[01:27:09] Tom Cruise just promoted the new mission impossible movie with an insane stunt.
[01:27:33] The Tom Cruise actually stole doing your own stunts
[01:27:41] He came up with learning how to fly a fighter jet.
[01:27:53] Just this African church where the pastor had a soccer ball.
[01:27:57] And he would cross over whoever was in front of him.
[01:28:08] Is that the group who's doing that wild shit?
[01:28:12] They must get fucked up by snakes constantly.
[01:28:20] And he's like, what if they were the first one?
[01:28:21] They were like, David and the lion or whatever.
[01:28:32] Is it the whole thing the snake's not going to bite you
[01:28:36] They must just constantly get fucking bit by snakes.
[01:28:39] I'd be like, what if the thing is your snake?
[01:28:42] There's a job at that church where you have to go get the snakes.
[01:28:45] You got to be the guy that goes down the woods
[01:28:51] You're going, it's time to go to church, Mr. Snake.
[01:28:53] Oh, so you know the Jai that video of the South East Asian guy
[01:29:00] Whoa, he's like slapping him with his head.
[01:29:10] I mean, obviously they're not thinking too much,
[01:29:23] But it's like, why do they have a cobra pit?
[01:29:27] In case somebody tries to steal their artifacts.
[01:29:35] Yeah, it's like these countries where they don't,
[01:29:37] they have sandals, sex trafficking, and cobra pits.
[01:29:46] You ever see him just slapping grizzly bears in the face?
[01:29:55] You saw that video of Khabi when he was a kid,
[01:30:16] And the headline is, two puppies fell into a pit
[01:30:19] with a cobra and then something incredible, dot, dot, dot.
[01:30:33] The two puppies in and out of spending, two days in the pit.
[01:31:04] he just, you know, the Jenga building in Tribeca?
[01:31:10] It's got to be a, oh, it's called because it looks
[01:31:14] I was going to say, you mean the Twin Towers?
[01:31:19] That's the kind of thing I would say as an actual joke.
[01:31:22] And then be like, well, I did my job for today.
[01:31:29] He just jumped from the Jenga building, killing himself.
[01:31:49] But I remember one time playing Jenga with him.
[01:31:52] And maybe he was like bar janger or something.
[01:31:54] But he like just didn't even have a child's understanding
[01:31:58] Like, he'd be like looking at the thing.
[01:32:04] It would be like, you know, when there's two on the sides,
[01:32:08] And we're like, Joe, what are you doing?
[01:32:10] And I'd be like, I can, you can get it.
[01:32:15] And he'd spend like fucking a minute and a half
[01:32:20] He's like, the only person in the world
[01:32:30] To think about a guy who has no idea what Jenga is.
[01:32:34] If right before it's some guy farted in the bar,
[01:32:42] and our buddy Des and his wife came to the show.
[01:32:50] And the four of them were playing Tetris together.
[01:32:54] And I was the only one that noticed she had zero idea
[01:32:58] It was just going to go up building it straight down
[01:33:04] It was just a black lady from Baltimore.
[01:33:09] And I was like, you have no idea what you're doing.
[01:33:26] If you panic, it's very easy to panic in Tetris.
[01:33:31] Once it gets started, it's going faster.
[01:33:34] And then she's going straight line right up the middle.
[01:33:44] Just not that the way we're going to stop.
[01:34:00] So Adam, did you do anything this weekend?
[01:34:10] I was just sagging my pants in a bathroom.
[01:34:15] I was very excited after we shot for 13 hours.
[01:34:21] I did not do cocaine at that restaurant.
[01:34:28] And then I don't know why I started sagging my pants so much.
[01:34:34] My friend was taking a video of it, and he was laughing.
[01:34:41] And then another black guy walked into the bathroom
[01:34:47] And then I was like, Alex, you could just be here
[01:35:13] And then the guy walks in the bathroom and sees me like that.
[01:35:42] This is a little off topic, but it makes me happy to think
[01:35:47] You guys know, about houses is the restaurant.
[01:35:57] But my dad took a dump there and took a shit at the women's
[01:36:15] Like walkouts are washing his hands up.
[01:36:17] Like literally shit like a man shit where you're like shitting.
[01:36:24] May had to wash his hands with the ladies.
[01:36:29] I think maybe the Westchester Mall is out of place.
[01:36:32] And the bathroom was the men's bathroom just
[01:36:39] And I'm coming out and this old lady, she's like, you know,
[01:36:54] She truly must be like, I there was one.
[01:37:03] Now I'm telling you, they're just open the door for gay guys
[01:37:13] Yeah, I didn't know if they were cleaning in there or what.
[01:37:18] I love that that's the whatever whatever that means in Spanish.
[01:37:21] It's like slipping and it's like caution wet.
[01:37:25] And when I was a kid, I always thought I always thought
[01:37:27] that in English they're being like nice about it.
[01:37:36] But the Mexicans are getting a real deal.
[01:37:40] So Adam, what are you going to do after this?
[01:37:42] After another successful day on the Adam Friedland show.
[01:37:45] I have to go edit tomorrow morning at nine at Stevens.
[01:38:07] I got a bug by walking the dog yesterday.
[01:38:14] Well, that's the guy I'm going to edit with tomorrow.
[01:38:19] And he had this fucking huge pimple right on his arm
[01:38:27] He's like, no, what this is is there was a pimple.
[01:38:30] And then I tried to pop it and got infected.
[01:38:37] Look, if you were Shane, if you were sure you had monkey pox,
[01:38:45] I'm waiting till it's late stage monkey pox.
[01:38:52] get monkey pox from blood transfusions, like straight kids.
[01:39:03] No, but yeah, I'm going over to his tomorrow morning.
[01:39:06] We're going to get selects from each of the scenes.
[01:39:09] Yeah, that's I'm trying to talk more movie people.
[01:39:13] He's been saying stuff like that selects and coverage
[01:39:17] My buddy's the furthest we've gotten, me and Tommy and Chris.
[01:39:38] he started saying copy over text messages.
[01:39:43] And that's only because we worked on the commercial shoots.
[01:39:47] We were making fun of those guys saying copy.
[01:39:52] they all talk like they're in the Marines.
[01:40:13] It's annoying when people who don't try to know them.
[01:40:27] That's fucking what monkey pox looks like.
[01:40:34] Some of the monkey pox editorials have been so funny.
[01:40:37] I don't know if you've caught any of those articles.
[01:40:39] Outside like French guys giving it like a dog.
[01:40:42] Whether they're like it's like I got monkey pox and it sucked.
[01:40:45] And each one of the articles is like, well, it was pride.
[01:40:48] So I went to the parade and I knew it was going around.
[01:40:50] But I wasn't worried about it too much.
[01:40:52] Because it's, you know, it seems so rare.
[01:40:54] And then that weekend I had sex with several men.
[01:41:06] But I didn't know it was like, there's dudes that go and fuck
[01:41:14] It's a parade is the tip of the iceberg.
[01:41:26] Going into like a dark den and fucking like 10 guys.
[01:41:40] And the Joel Kim Booster Fire Island movie.
[01:41:43] There's a part where they go into the sex room.
[01:41:51] Watching it with my girlfriend in honor.
[01:41:54] Seven days later, after watching Fire Island.
[01:41:56] It's like in the ring when the girl climbs out of the TV.
[01:41:59] But it's a Korean guy climbing backwards out of a TV.
[01:42:05] He's just his ass comes out of the screen.
[01:42:16] Oh, they're like to see those boys in their tiny outfits.
[01:42:26] I mean, how do you have the time to work out that much?
[01:42:30] Well, they do it at the gym a lot of the time.
[01:42:35] But remember when Lewis, they got a beef with the equinox
[01:42:40] And it was like, they probably, you know those emails,
[01:42:44] all of them, there was a team of lawyers communicating
[01:42:49] The amount of billable hours that had to go into fucking
[01:42:52] communicating with the Lewis J. Gomez ever trying
[01:42:55] to cancel his gym membership because too many gay guys
[01:43:02] But also, we're in kind of a weird spot here.
[01:43:18] Also funny thing to get you to try to fuck.
[01:43:20] Like Lewis coming in with like yellow aviators and a co-tee.
[01:43:23] And then being like, oh my god, who is that?
[01:43:55] Bro, can you stop fucking talking to me?
[01:43:56] He would grab him and be like, get the fuck up.
[01:44:03] That's going to be fucking Captain Jacques Spiro.
[01:44:40] He wrote the capture as this as Sparta.
[01:44:49] He just posted another one the other day.
[01:44:52] It was like him drinking the glass of wine.
[01:44:55] It was like the last few hours of my 30s.
[01:45:02] Lewis pulled the white wine in his ass.
[01:45:14] I'll bet Helium in the Annapolis Helium.
[01:45:36] stand up live in Phoenix September 29th, October 1st,
[01:45:45] Then the 20th to the 22nd Houston improv.
[01:45:56] When was the last time you did Buffalo?
[01:46:02] November 11th, I'm doing Town Hall in New York.
[01:46:05] So I don't know when that's going on sale.
[01:46:32] You're one of the best comedians of all time.
[01:46:49] We did fucking what's her name going to accuse to be a
[01:47:08] You got to narrow down more than Bald Black Lady.
[01:47:22] She got alleged. Did you see the opening to black mitzvah?
[01:47:26] One of the craziest things I've ever seen.
[01:47:31] I've been trying to tell them to watch it.
[01:47:33] The opening to that special is like, it is, it is.
[01:47:36] Just watch the beginning. It's out of control.
[01:47:38] I didn't watch the special. You just got to watch the opening.
[01:47:47] It was Chris Gethard special was the last.
[01:47:50] Well, then it cuts into more of a hip hop beat of that.
[01:47:57] Haven, you. It's like the Elvis going to the black neighborhood.
[01:48:05] I got to blow up some steam and go see some of the Jews.
[01:48:07] Then she wraps. She does like a wrap about what her sets about.
[01:48:11] She's like, I'm going to tell you about the time in Miami.
[01:48:25] If you're like, if you're like, if you're like,
[01:48:32] People are about to find out you're a pedophile.
[01:48:34] And you're like, well, I better do something.
[01:48:41] And he's like, well, I'm they, then, you know, it hasn't dropped yet.
[01:48:48] That dude's getting away with everything.
[01:48:53] All in all, he's holding like people at gunpoint or something.
[01:49:06] Oh, no, you I thought you were rapping.
[01:49:15] And if you're if you are engaging in anonymous rough gay
[01:49:22] rough trade gay sex, please go out and get the monkey pox vaccine.
[01:49:27] The CDC is providing it in our community for all men.
[01:49:33] Make sure you get all the gay, it's spade and neutered.
[01:49:36] So make sure if you are gay, make sure to get your to get chemically castrated.